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Do you ever do this? You say something awkward at
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a party and your brain says, cool, I am socially hopeless.
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Or you have a rough day at work and your
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brain goes, yep, I cannot handle anything. Or maybe it's
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one argument with someone you love and suddenly it's like,
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I will never succeed at relationships. Your brain takes an
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event and it turns it into this is how everything is.
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Guess what? This thinking pattern has a name. It's called overgeneralization,
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and it's one of the fastest ways to turn normal
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emotions into a full-body, all-day spiral. In this video, you'll
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learn how to notice overgeneralization, understand why it makes everything
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feel worse, and learn a few practical ways to interrupt it.
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But first, let me tell you about rattlesnakes. I promise
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it's relevant. Welcome to the Therapy in a Nutshell podcast.
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I'm Emma McAdam, a licensed therapist. I make mental health
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skills more accessible so that you can get better at healing.
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Just a reminder, this is education, not therapy. If you'd
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like to learn more free mental health skills, check out
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our free courses at therapyinanutshell.com. I worked for years in
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wilderness therapy programs, and just so you know, we treated
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these kids with respect and and we had these amazing
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life-changing experiences in the outdoors. One year I was working
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down in the Grand Staircase-Escalante area, and the previous winter
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we'd had a lot of rain, which meant more grass,
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which meant more grass seeds, which meant more mice, which
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meant more snakes. Like so many rattlesnakes. Sometimes they'd come
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into camp, and we would gently remove them with a stick,
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but they'd come back, so we'd have to move camp.
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One time when we were driving, we saw one that
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was over five feet long. Now, I grew up in
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the Rocky Mountains and I spent a lot of time outdoors,
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so I was really aware of rattlesnakes. I'd seen them
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occasionally on hikes and climbs, and my dad accidentally once
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ran one over on his bike. Like, whoop, whoop. Another
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time he was trail running and he stepped down off
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of this step and he felt something poke him in
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the leg and he thought he just got like poked
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by a stick but later that night he looked and
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he had these two perfect puncture marks like right through
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his pants. So he was pretty sure he got bit
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by a rattlesnake, but the snake did not release its venom.
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Another time, my father-in-law was hiking ahead of me and
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my family up this slot canyon, and he climbed out
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this ledge to get out of the canyon. And when
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I got there with my three-year-old and my one-year-old, I
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asked him, like, how did you get up over this
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ledge without going near the snake? And he was like,
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what snake? And there was this like fat rattlesnake just
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sitting on the exact step he'd put his hands and
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his feet earlier. Okay, I promise this has a point, okay?
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There have been some cool studies showing that rattlesnakes are
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actually very reluctant to bite people. They'll only do it
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as a last resort. This cool researcher stepped on 165
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rattlesnakes with a fake leg. And the snakes only struck
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at this leg six times. So it's very rare for
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someone to get bitten, but it does happen. So I
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had this neighbor who got bit and he was badly
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injured and the antivenom cost over $ 100, 000 and he spent
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more than a week in the ICU. Another time when
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we were hiking, I stepped over a crack in the
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rocks and I heard this sharp rattle right between my feet.
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and my body just jumped out of the way before
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I'd even registered what I'd heard. So what's happened is
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all this time interacting with snakes made me very highly
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attuned to snakes. So going back to wilderness therapy that
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year on the Escalante, we were all on high alert,
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snakes everywhere. Now, long story short, I knew that rattlesnakes
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weren't out to get me, but try telling that to
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my nervous system after a dozen run-ins with these rattlers.
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So after all of these close calls, I was a
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little jumpy. I'd be walking through camp and I'd see
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something long and snaky out of the corner of my eye.
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And I would jump back and my heart would be pounding.
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And then when I'd take a closer look, I'd realize
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it was just a stick. Another time we were hiking
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across this stream and I heard again a sharp rattle.
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And I jumped. I was like, snake! Because there were
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kids right behind me. And then I realized it was
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just a plant with these like rattly seed pods. It
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was not a snake. It was just a plant, but
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my nervous system had this strategy, which was jump first,
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evaluate later, right? This was not very accurate. So I
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kept thinking sticks and plants were snakes, but honestly, I'm
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okay with the fact that my nervous system was not
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very accurate because those fast reflexes were keeping me safe
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from a potentially dangerous situation. So my nervous system made
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the decision, we're going to lump everything that's a little
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bit snaky into the snake category just to be safe.
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And guess what? With dozens of kids and dozens of
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staff on high alert, as we hung out with probably
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like thousands of snakes on the Escalante that summer, no
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one got bit. Why? Because we were overgeneralizing. So What
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is overgeneralization? Overgeneralization is a really cool survival strategy that
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our brain uses. It makes these fast, broad, sweeping categories
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that can keep you safe from things that might be dangerous.
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So like thank you, thank you nervous system for trying
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to keep me safe. It's when your brain then takes
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one experience and turns it into this global conclusion even
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when no danger is present. The fact is there was
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a snake on the trail. So now everything snake-like is
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a snake. That's an overgeneralization. But we do this with
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other things that are perceived threats. Like, oh, I messed
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up becomes I'm a complete failure. Or they didn't text
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me back becomes no one cares about me. Or my
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car broke down becomes why does this always happen to me?
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or he was so rude becomes men are all so obnoxious. Now,
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overgeneralization isn't always negative. It can also be excessively positive.
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So for example, like, oh, I met a super nice
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investment broker. That means I can trust him with all
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of my savings. Or my horse just won that race.
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I'm on a winning streak. You can usually catch yourself
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overgeneralizing when you hear words like always, never, everyone, no one. Everything. Nothing.
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These are the brain's all or nothing shortcuts. But thinking
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this way distorts reality. And this overgeneralization, when we do
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it too much, it fuels intense emotions. Research has found
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that you can predict who will develop depression by watching
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and observing who overgeneralizes. Overgeneralization is also linked to anxiety, anger, bipolar,
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borderline personality disorder, chronic pain, eating disorders, low self-esteem, and prejudice.
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If overgeneralization has so many negative outcomes, like why would
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our brain do this to us? I would say there
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are two pretty good reasons. So first, unfortunately, our brains
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aren't designed to make us happy. They're designed to keep
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us safe. So overgeneralization is often your brain trying to
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protect you So for example, if a guy from the
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green tribe attacks you, then it makes sense that your
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nervous system is going to assume that everyone from the
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green tribe is dangerous. If you really let yourself down
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one time, your nervous system might try to protect you
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from disappointment by saying, I always fail. And then that
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mistake becomes an identity. So if your brain can turn
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one bad experience into a rule, then it thinks it
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can keep you safe by kind of saying like, oh,
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don't get hurt like that again. All green people are dangerous.
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Everything that rattles is a snake. Don't try new things
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where you might fail. So your nervous system, this is
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the first reason why our brains do this a lot.
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Your nervous system is trying to keep you safe, but
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the cost is that you start living inside of a
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story that's like bigger and darker and more helpless than reality.
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It's also more likely that you'll do this if you
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grew up with a lot of criticism, unpredictability, bullying, trauma,
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chronic stress, or if you're just like generally more emotionally sensitive.
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your brain is going to generalize faster. So trauma is
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simply the nervous system learning like, oh, everything's unsafe, right?
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It's not a character flaw. It's just a nervous system
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that learned to scan for patterns really quickly. And the
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more scared your nervous system is, the more it overgeneralizes.
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And the more it overgeneralizes, the more you perceive a threat.
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And I know it's hard to problem solve when your
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brain is screaming like, this is forever! Why does everything
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feel this way? Because if you truly believe that everything
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will always be this way forever, and there are no exceptions,
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Like why bother problem solving? So your emotions get louder,
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your body gets more activated and your mind becomes more
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rigid and more hopeless and you feel more powerless. But
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what happens here is that your brain is building these
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stories on top of an inaccurate nervous system response. One
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person commented on one of my videos, it's subtle how
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the story feels like truth because the nervous system already
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reacted and the thought just arrives afterward to justify it.
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Having these random inaccurate thoughts once in a while is normal.
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But why would we keep doing it, right? If it
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makes us so depressed and if it makes us anxious
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and all these problems, why would we keep overgeneralizing? I
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think there's one other really important reason why you overgeneralize.
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We only repeat things that are rewarding in some way.
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Our brain repeats things that give it some kind of payout.
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So what's the payout from overgeneralizing? How could it be
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rewarding if it makes everything feel so awful? Let's explore
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this with some examples. Okay. If something bad happens and
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you say like, why does this always happen to me?
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Or if your kid melts down in public, do you
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think I'm a bad parent? Or if you miss a
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deadline at work, instead of thinking like, oh, I need
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a better plan. Your brain goes, I can't handle anything.
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Notice how this extreme thinking makes you feel like shutting
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down instead of trying harder. So this is the second
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big reason why we often get stuck in a pattern
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of overgeneralizing. If I'm sure that the world is hopeless,
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then I'm excused from helping. If I'm sure that I'll
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always fail, then I'm justified in not trying. Overgeneralizing is rewarding.
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It feels good. It's like secretly comforting because it seems
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to excuse you from vulnerability, from effort, from trying. But
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when you do this habitually, it changes your worldview and
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your sense of identity. And it's easy to get stuck
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in a rut of constantly feeling like helpless and hopeless
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and powerless and emotionally reactive. So thank you nervous system
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for this, but we can do better. And I would
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say the way out of overgeneralization, the way out of
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this rut is not positive thinking. The way out is
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more specific thinking. Okay, now real quick, before I give
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you a bunch of practical tools that you can actually use,
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if you wanna take a deeper dive and address your
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anxiety and trauma, depression, or just emotional reactivity, I hope
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you'll check out my membership. I walk you through practical
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exercises that can help you process and regulate your emotions. Okay, overgeneralization.
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It happens spontaneously. It's your nervous system reacting and then
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your brain making a story about it. It's not your
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fault that you have these thoughts, but they also aren't true, right?
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That stick is not a snake. That rattly seed pod
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is not a snake, right? These thoughts aren't your fault.
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but they're also not true, and there is something you
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can do about it. So I have four strategies that
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are gonna help you learn to notice this type of thinking,
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catch the lie, and replace it with something more specific
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and helpful, okay? Okay, so here's the first skill. Catch
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yourself when you say never. Everyone, no one, everything, nothing, okay?
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If you catch yourself using one of these terms, that's
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your cue to pause. then you're going to replace it with,
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I'm having the thought that... So instead of saying like,
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I'm a complete failure, you say, I'm having the thought
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that I'm a complete failure. Or you can label it,
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like say, oh, I'm overgeneralizing again. And what this does
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is it builds in a tiny bit of distance and
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it helps your brain switch from being inside the thought
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to observing the thought. Okay, number two, shrink it back
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down to size. This means be really specific and in
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the present moment. You got to ask like, what are
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the facts? What is the specific problem? Where does this
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start and where does it end? And then use like
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a reset phrase like, okay, this is a specific problem.
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This is temporary. This is fixable. Okay, so instead of
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saying something like, I always fail, there's that always word,
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we're gonna catch that word, and we're gonna replace it
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with something more specific. I failed this time. If you
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say everyone is so self-centered, make it more specific. Some
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people are self-centered. Even if you don't know how to
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fix the problem yet, what you're doing is you're creating
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space to choose, to decide if this story is really
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as helpful as it seems. And when you have space,
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you have freedom. Okay, overgeneralization also loves identity labels. So
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something like, I'm a terrible parent is overgeneralization. I'm always terrible.
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You've got to switch from identity, like this is who
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I am, to behavior. Switch from identity to behavior. Say,
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I didn't handle that situation well. Right? Identity statements create hopelessness.
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Behavior statements create options. Okay. Strategy number three, add in
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counter examples. So overgeneralization is basically bad science. It takes
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one piece of evidence and it calls it like the
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law of nature. So we fix it with better data.
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You can ask like, huh, when is this not true? Uh,
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what are two times where I handled something similar and
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I handled it well, who is one person who has
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shown me care? Or are there any exceptions to the story?
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Any times where your experience doesn't agree with this story
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you're telling? And then another way to think about this
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is like saying, well, is there anyone else who might
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see this differently? Like, is there someone out there who
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would look at this situation and have a different takeaway
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from it? Okay, here's another really cool way to challenge overgeneralization.
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You could check to see if the opposite is true.
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So for example, if you believe forgetting my child's lunch
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makes me an awful parent, you can ask yourself if
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remembering their lunch would make you a perfect parent. If
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you say like, oh, I always let people down and
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say like, no, that's untrue. I've helped and supported people
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in the past. Okay. You could think, oh, everyone's out
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to get me. All right. Let's be a little bit
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more nuanced. Some people are out to get me. And
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there's a lot of people who've helped me. You're not
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trying to prove that you're perfect. Healthy people replace all
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or nothing thinking with allowing two things to be true
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at the same time. I messed up and I can
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keep learning. That person betrayed me, but I bet there's
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a better partner out there for my future. All right,
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here's the last thing. Number four is look for helpful action.
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If overgeneralization helps excuse us from taking responsibility for our lives,
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but that leaves us feeling helpless. So we can counteract
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that by looking for more helpful beliefs. You can ask like,
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what do I really value? What kind of person do
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I want to be? And if the answer is like,
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I want to be courageous. I want to be trustworthy.
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I want to be resilient. Like, don't make yourself helpless. That's,
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that's really what overgeneralization does is it makes you feel helpless.
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So instead you ask like, what's in my locus of control?
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What can I act upon? What's one small action that
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lines up with the kind of person I want to be?
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this action to learn a new skill, to try again differently,
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to apologize? Taking action requires a lot of courage, but
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in the long run it can help you be more flexible,
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more resilient, more hopeful, more empowered in your life. Okay,
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so to summarize, if you over generalize a lot, this
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is a great opportunity to learn how to be more
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emotionally stable. You're not broken, There's a skill you can learn.
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So start by catching the words like always or never.
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Shrink the story back to a specific moment. Look for
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exceptions and look for helpful actions. And then just take
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the next one next right step. Because one hard moment
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is allowed to be one hard moment. It doesn't get
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to become your whole life. Okay, you really can improve
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your mental health and feel more empowered in your own
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life if you can learn how to catch yourself over
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generalizing and replace it with more helpful thinking. Okay. Thank
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you so much for being here. Really appreciate it. Please
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take care. If you've ever had a panic attack, you
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know how terrifying they can be. It might feel like
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you're dying or you can't catch your breath or your
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whole body's shaking and you can't figure out why. One
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of the interesting things about panic attacks is the harder
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you try to make them stop, it often makes things worse.
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And most people have never been taught the practical skills
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for how to manage panic attacks. So I made a
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free course on how to work through and prevent panic
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attacks and what to do if you are having one
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so that it doesn't make it worse or perpetuate that
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cycle of panic attacks in the future. This course is
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free and the link is in the description. So please
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check it out or share it with someone who you
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think might benefit from it. Thank you so much and
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please take care.
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Do you ever do this? You say something awkward at
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a party and your brain says, cool, I am socially hopeless.
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Or you have a rough day at work and your
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brain goes, yep, I cannot handle anything. Or maybe it's
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one argument with someone you love and suddenly it's like,
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I will never succeed at relationships. Your brain takes an
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event and it turns it into this is how everything is.
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Guess what? This thinking pattern has a name. It's called overgeneralization,
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and it's one of the fastest ways to turn normal
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emotions into a full-body, all-day spiral. In this video, you'll
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learn how to notice overgeneralization, understand why it makes everything
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feel worse, and learn a few practical ways to interrupt it.
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But first, let me tell you about rattlesnakes. I promise
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it's relevant. Welcome to the Therapy in a Nutshell podcast.
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I'm Emma McAdam, a licensed therapist. I make mental health
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skills more accessible so that you can get better at healing.
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Just a reminder, this is education, not therapy. If you'd
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like to learn more free mental health skills, check out
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our free courses at therapyinanutshell.com. I worked for years in
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wilderness therapy programs, and just so you know, we treated
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these kids with respect and and we had these amazing
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life-changing experiences in the outdoors. One year I was working
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down in the Grand Staircase-Escalante area, and the previous winter
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we'd had a lot of rain, which meant more grass,
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which meant more grass seeds, which meant more mice, which
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meant more snakes. Like so many rattlesnakes. Sometimes they'd come
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into camp, and we would gently remove them with a stick,
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but they'd come back, so we'd have to move camp.
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One time when we were driving, we saw one that
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was over five feet long. Now, I grew up in
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the Rocky Mountains and I spent a lot of time outdoors,
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so I was really aware of rattlesnakes. I'd seen them
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occasionally on hikes and climbs, and my dad accidentally once
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ran one over on his bike. Like, whoop, whoop. Another
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time he was trail running and he stepped down off
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of this step and he felt something poke him in
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the leg and he thought he just got like poked
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by a stick but later that night he looked and
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he had these two perfect puncture marks like right through
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his pants. So he was pretty sure he got bit
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by a rattlesnake, but the snake did not release its venom.
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Another time, my father-in-law was hiking ahead of me and
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my family up this slot canyon, and he climbed out
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this ledge to get out of the canyon. And when
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I got there with my three-year-old and my one-year-old, I
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asked him, like, how did you get up over this
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ledge without going near the snake? And he was like,
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what snake? And there was this like fat rattlesnake just
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sitting on the exact step he'd put his hands and
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his feet earlier. Okay, I promise this has a point, okay?
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There have been some cool studies showing that rattlesnakes are
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actually very reluctant to bite people. They'll only do it
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as a last resort. This cool researcher stepped on 165
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rattlesnakes with a fake leg. And the snakes only struck
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at this leg six times. So it's very rare for
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someone to get bitten, but it does happen. So I
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had this neighbor who got bit and he was badly
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injured and the antivenom cost over $ 100, 000 and he spent
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more than a week in the ICU. Another time when
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we were hiking, I stepped over a crack in the
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rocks and I heard this sharp rattle right between my feet.
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and my body just jumped out of the way before
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I'd even registered what I'd heard. So what's happened is
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all this time interacting with snakes made me very highly
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attuned to snakes. So going back to wilderness therapy that
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year on the Escalante, we were all on high alert,
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snakes everywhere. Now, long story short, I knew that rattlesnakes
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weren't out to get me, but try telling that to
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my nervous system after a dozen run-ins with these rattlers.
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So after all of these close calls, I was a
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little jumpy. I'd be walking through camp and I'd see
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something long and snaky out of the corner of my eye.
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And I would jump back and my heart would be pounding.
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And then when I'd take a closer look, I'd realize
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it was just a stick. Another time we were hiking
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across this stream and I heard again a sharp rattle.
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And I jumped. I was like, snake! Because there were
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kids right behind me. And then I realized it was
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just a plant with these like rattly seed pods. It
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was not a snake. It was just a plant, but
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my nervous system had this strategy, which was jump first,
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evaluate later, right? This was not very accurate. So I
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kept thinking sticks and plants were snakes, but honestly, I'm
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okay with the fact that my nervous system was not
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very accurate because those fast reflexes were keeping me safe
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from a potentially dangerous situation. So my nervous system made
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the decision, we're going to lump everything that's a little
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bit snaky into the snake category just to be safe.
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And guess what? With dozens of kids and dozens of
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staff on high alert, as we hung out with probably
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like thousands of snakes on the Escalante that summer, no
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one got bit. Why? Because we were overgeneralizing. So What
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is overgeneralization? Overgeneralization is a really cool survival strategy that
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our brain uses. It makes these fast, broad, sweeping categories
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that can keep you safe from things that might be dangerous.
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So like thank you, thank you nervous system for trying
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to keep me safe. It's when your brain then takes
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one experience and turns it into this global conclusion even
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when no danger is present. The fact is there was
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a snake on the trail. So now everything snake-like is
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a snake. That's an overgeneralization. But we do this with
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other things that are perceived threats. Like, oh, I messed
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up becomes I'm a complete failure. Or they didn't text
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me back becomes no one cares about me. Or my
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car broke down becomes why does this always happen to me?
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or he was so rude becomes men are all so obnoxious. Now,
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overgeneralization isn't always negative. It can also be excessively positive.
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So for example, like, oh, I met a super nice
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investment broker. That means I can trust him with all
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of my savings. Or my horse just won that race.
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I'm on a winning streak. You can usually catch yourself
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overgeneralizing when you hear words like always, never, everyone, no one. Everything. Nothing.
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These are the brain's all or nothing shortcuts. But thinking
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this way distorts reality. And this overgeneralization, when we do
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it too much, it fuels intense emotions. Research has found
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that you can predict who will develop depression by watching
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and observing who overgeneralizes. Overgeneralization is also linked to anxiety, anger, bipolar,
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borderline personality disorder, chronic pain, eating disorders, low self-esteem, and prejudice.
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If overgeneralization has so many negative outcomes, like why would
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our brain do this to us? I would say there
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are two pretty good reasons. So first, unfortunately, our brains
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aren't designed to make us happy. They're designed to keep
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us safe. So overgeneralization is often your brain trying to
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protect you So for example, if a guy from the
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green tribe attacks you, then it makes sense that your
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nervous system is going to assume that everyone from the
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green tribe is dangerous. If you really let yourself down
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one time, your nervous system might try to protect you
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from disappointment by saying, I always fail. And then that
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mistake becomes an identity. So if your brain can turn
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one bad experience into a rule, then it thinks it
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can keep you safe by kind of saying like, oh,
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don't get hurt like that again. All green people are dangerous.
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Everything that rattles is a snake. Don't try new things
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where you might fail. So your nervous system, this is
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the first reason why our brains do this a lot.
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Your nervous system is trying to keep you safe, but
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the cost is that you start living inside of a
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story that's like bigger and darker and more helpless than reality.
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It's also more likely that you'll do this if you
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grew up with a lot of criticism, unpredictability, bullying, trauma,
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chronic stress, or if you're just like generally more emotionally sensitive.
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your brain is going to generalize faster. So trauma is
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simply the nervous system learning like, oh, everything's unsafe, right?
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It's not a character flaw. It's just a nervous system
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that learned to scan for patterns really quickly. And the
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more scared your nervous system is, the more it overgeneralizes.
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And the more it overgeneralizes, the more you perceive a threat.
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And I know it's hard to problem solve when your
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brain is screaming like, this is forever! Why does everything
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feel this way? Because if you truly believe that everything
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will always be this way forever, and there are no exceptions,
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Like why bother problem solving? So your emotions get louder,
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your body gets more activated and your mind becomes more
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rigid and more hopeless and you feel more powerless. But
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what happens here is that your brain is building these
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stories on top of an inaccurate nervous system response. One
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person commented on one of my videos, it's subtle how
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the story feels like truth because the nervous system already
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reacted and the thought just arrives afterward to justify it.
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Having these random inaccurate thoughts once in a while is normal.
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But why would we keep doing it, right? If it
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makes us so depressed and if it makes us anxious
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and all these problems, why would we keep overgeneralizing? I
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think there's one other really important reason why you overgeneralize.
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We only repeat things that are rewarding in some way.
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Our brain repeats things that give it some kind of payout.
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So what's the payout from overgeneralizing? How could it be
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rewarding if it makes everything feel so awful? Let's explore
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this with some examples. Okay. If something bad happens and
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you say like, why does this always happen to me?
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Or if your kid melts down in public, do you
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think I'm a bad parent? Or if you miss a
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deadline at work, instead of thinking like, oh, I need
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a better plan. Your brain goes, I can't handle anything.
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Notice how this extreme thinking makes you feel like shutting
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down instead of trying harder. So this is the second
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big reason why we often get stuck in a pattern
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of overgeneralizing. If I'm sure that the world is hopeless,
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then I'm excused from helping. If I'm sure that I'll
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always fail, then I'm justified in not trying. Overgeneralizing is rewarding.
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It feels good. It's like secretly comforting because it seems
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to excuse you from vulnerability, from effort, from trying. But
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when you do this habitually, it changes your worldview and
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your sense of identity. And it's easy to get stuck
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in a rut of constantly feeling like helpless and hopeless
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and powerless and emotionally reactive. So thank you nervous system
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for this, but we can do better. And I would
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say the way out of overgeneralization, the way out of
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this rut is not positive thinking. The way out is
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more specific thinking. Okay, now real quick, before I give
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you a bunch of practical tools that you can actually use,
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if you wanna take a deeper dive and address your
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anxiety and trauma, depression, or just emotional reactivity, I hope
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you'll check out my membership. I walk you through practical
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exercises that can help you process and regulate your emotions. Okay, overgeneralization.
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It happens spontaneously. It's your nervous system reacting and then
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your brain making a story about it. It's not your
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fault that you have these thoughts, but they also aren't true, right?
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That stick is not a snake. That rattly seed pod
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is not a snake, right? These thoughts aren't your fault.
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but they're also not true, and there is something you
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can do about it. So I have four strategies that
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are gonna help you learn to notice this type of thinking,
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catch the lie, and replace it with something more specific
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and helpful, okay? Okay, so here's the first skill. Catch
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yourself when you say never. Everyone, no one, everything, nothing, okay?
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If you catch yourself using one of these terms, that's
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your cue to pause. then you're going to replace it with,
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I'm having the thought that... So instead of saying like,
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I'm a complete failure, you say, I'm having the thought
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that I'm a complete failure. Or you can label it,
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like say, oh, I'm overgeneralizing again. And what this does
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is it builds in a tiny bit of distance and
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it helps your brain switch from being inside the thought
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to observing the thought. Okay, number two, shrink it back
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down to size. This means be really specific and in
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the present moment. You got to ask like, what are
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the facts? What is the specific problem? Where does this
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start and where does it end? And then use like
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a reset phrase like, okay, this is a specific problem.
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This is temporary. This is fixable. Okay, so instead of
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saying something like, I always fail, there's that always word,
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we're gonna catch that word, and we're gonna replace it
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with something more specific. I failed this time. If you
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say everyone is so self-centered, make it more specific. Some
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people are self-centered. Even if you don't know how to
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fix the problem yet, what you're doing is you're creating
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space to choose, to decide if this story is really
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as helpful as it seems. And when you have space,
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you have freedom. Okay, overgeneralization also loves identity labels. So
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something like, I'm a terrible parent is overgeneralization. I'm always terrible.
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You've got to switch from identity, like this is who
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I am, to behavior. Switch from identity to behavior. Say,
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I didn't handle that situation well. Right? Identity statements create hopelessness.
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Behavior statements create options. Okay. Strategy number three, add in
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counter examples. So overgeneralization is basically bad science. It takes
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one piece of evidence and it calls it like the
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law of nature. So we fix it with better data.
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You can ask like, huh, when is this not true? Uh,
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what are two times where I handled something similar and
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I handled it well, who is one person who has
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shown me care? Or are there any exceptions to the story?
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Any times where your experience doesn't agree with this story
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you're telling? And then another way to think about this
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is like saying, well, is there anyone else who might
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see this differently? Like, is there someone out there who
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would look at this situation and have a different takeaway
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from it? Okay, here's another really cool way to challenge overgeneralization.
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You could check to see if the opposite is true.
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So for example, if you believe forgetting my child's lunch
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makes me an awful parent, you can ask yourself if
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remembering their lunch would make you a perfect parent. If
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you say like, oh, I always let people down and
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say like, no, that's untrue. I've helped and supported people
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in the past. Okay. You could think, oh, everyone's out
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to get me. All right. Let's be a little bit
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more nuanced. Some people are out to get me. And
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there's a lot of people who've helped me. You're not
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trying to prove that you're perfect. Healthy people replace all
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or nothing thinking with allowing two things to be true
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at the same time. I messed up and I can
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keep learning. That person betrayed me, but I bet there's
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a better partner out there for my future. All right,
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here's the last thing. Number four is look for helpful action.
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If overgeneralization helps excuse us from taking responsibility for our lives,
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but that leaves us feeling helpless. So we can counteract
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that by looking for more helpful beliefs. You can ask like,
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what do I really value? What kind of person do
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I want to be? And if the answer is like,
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I want to be courageous. I want to be trustworthy.
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I want to be resilient. Like, don't make yourself helpless. That's,
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that's really what overgeneralization does is it makes you feel helpless.
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So instead you ask like, what's in my locus of control?
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What can I act upon? What's one small action that
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lines up with the kind of person I want to be?
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this action to learn a new skill, to try again differently,
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to apologize? Taking action requires a lot of courage, but
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in the long run it can help you be more flexible,
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more resilient, more hopeful, more empowered in your life. Okay,
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so to summarize, if you over generalize a lot, this
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is a great opportunity to learn how to be more
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emotionally stable. You're not broken, There's a skill you can learn.
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So start by catching the words like always or never.
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Shrink the story back to a specific moment. Look for
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exceptions and look for helpful actions. And then just take
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the next one next right step. Because one hard moment
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is allowed to be one hard moment. It doesn't get
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to become your whole life. Okay, you really can improve
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your mental health and feel more empowered in your own
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life if you can learn how to catch yourself over
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generalizing and replace it with more helpful thinking. Okay. Thank
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you so much for being here. Really appreciate it. Please
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take care. If you've ever had a panic attack, you
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know how terrifying they can be. It might feel like
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you're dying or you can't catch your breath or your
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whole body's shaking and you can't figure out why. One
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of the interesting things about panic attacks is the harder
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you try to make them stop, it often makes things worse.
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And most people have never been taught the practical skills
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for how to manage panic attacks. So I made a
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free course on how to work through and prevent panic
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attacks and what to do if you are having one
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so that it doesn't make it worse or perpetuate that
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cycle of panic attacks in the future. This course is
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free and the link is in the description. So please
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check it out or share it with someone who you
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think might benefit from it. Thank you so much and
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please take care.
