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Welcome to the Micalope Gandhers, where we help you clean up the mess in your head.
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I'm your host, Sergeant Q, and with me today we have a special guest, Tom Lee, who is a sergeant in the sheriff's department.
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Now he has an incredible story about fighting for his life during a critical instant and how that affected his mind, body, and spirit.
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What happens in the aftermath of trauma?
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Tom has an incredible story, and he's gonna share with you his story of hope and heal.
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So welcome to the show, Tom Lee.
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Tom.
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The question I ask every single one of our guests is how do you clean up the mess in your head?
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Well, I mean, I do a lot of cooking myself.
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I love showing that to other people, but I think more than that, it comes with conversations with other people.
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You have to ump it up.
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And I'm preaching to myself when I say that just as much as anybody else, because it's a daily thing that you have to do with yourself.
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We like to keep things in and not let them out.
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That ends up destroying.
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Yeah, that's so true.
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I've learned that the more we close it up, the more damaging it becomes to us.
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And I use a boiling pot as an example.
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You put a lid on a boiling pot, it doesn't stop it, it boils over faster.
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And so what we've got to do is we've got to turn down the heat to get that pot to settle in.
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And so that's how I explain it to people, just like you did there.
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Well, Tom, you have a very unique story.
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And when I first heard it, I thought, man, I have never heard anything like that before.
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It is a wild story, but your story post-trauma is even more amazing.
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And so I'd love for you to share with our viewers here that story, if you would.
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So in 2019, uh, I was still working for the mental health unit, and I got called to assist a father with his son.
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His son threatened suicide the night before, and he thought that uh there's a cell phone tower just outside on the property, and he was thought that the cell phone tower was sending out electrical beams that was killing people.
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And it was owned by the cartel.
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And he asked his dad if he could borrow his cell phone to take and uh put in a special code that he had.
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And uh his dad told him no, he needed to go time to get away from him.
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He he lived on the same property as his father, and he lived in a conic street there.
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The dad went to sleep, woke up the next day, and the hay fells that were in the field were all on fire and smolder that his son had done.
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And he he asked me to come out and talk to him because of what's going on.
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So I went out there to talk to him about his mental health, and I mean just about everybody need to think that if you're thinking that electrical bolts are coming from the cell phone tower, that something is meant to be off.
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So I went out there to help him and see if I can get him some resources or get him to the hospital, whatever you mean.
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The dad was really rushing.
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So the dad went and knocked on his door, and I hear the guy on the other side of the door yelling at his dad, telling him to to go away, or he's gonna call the sheriff's office.
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About two or three times it was dad knocking on the door.
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Was like, let me try.
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He's already saying that he's gonna call us.
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So let me introduce myself as Tom come to the sheriff's office and see if he'd answer that.
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As soon as I knocked on the door and announced who I am, instead of de-escalating this situation, it explodes.
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He uh he started screaming and cussing it at me that I needed to leave or whatnot.
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I tried to just reassure him that man, I just wanted to talk to him, just wanted to check and make sure he was okay.
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And that's when he said those those infamous words was you want me to come out, you better be ready.
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And about that time, I was like, that that doesn't sound good.
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And then I hear a bunch of rustling inside, and then I hear him tick the door open.
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Now his his door swung out instead of in.
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Most doors swing in, but this one swung out.
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Police officers typically stand on the opposite side of the door, not right in front of them.
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So you're not standing in that fatal funnel.
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In the military, I'm sure you know that.
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I I'm familiar with the fatal final.
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So so I was standing on the on the side of the door, so when it swung out, I had to peek around the door to see what was going on.
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As I turned and peeked around the door, Daryl was faced with him aiming a crossbow at.
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So I took off running down the side of the V uh uh side of the conic trailer while I was pulling my my gun.
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And as I was turning to look back at him and see where he was, see what he was doing.
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I felt this just immense sun burn feeling on my right arm or my left arm and the left side of my face.
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Yeah, everything just slowed down in an instant.
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There's probably a thousand thoughts that were going through my mind.
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What just occurred?
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How did this happen?
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What's how bad am I yet?
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I mean, just so many questions just came flooding in.
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At the same time, I'm like, I still have to do something.
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My partner is there, she she's a qualified mental health professional, unarmed, there's nothing that she can do, and he's now shot me.
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I his family's there.
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I was like, I've got to do something.
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So at the same time, all this, and of course, all this is going through in like an instant.
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So from my hip, I fired a shot towards him, and that made him stop and he took off running.
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And I ran up to the door and looked out to where he was running.
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And the next thing I know, he's drawing a machete.
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And about that time, I'm like, okay, these things are gonna go bad.
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So him him drawing a machete, and and he was running towards there's a couple patches of trees.
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I was like, he's gonna go behind those trees, reload that crossbow, come out and fire at us.
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Drawing the machete just signifies that he's still in the fight.
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So I lined up and put one that ended the fight.
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He dropped like a sack of potato.
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And I had to deal with, of course, we were in a very rural area of the town, so our communications weren't working.
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My my radio wasn't getting out.
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I was sitting there trying to call dispatch teeing up on the radio.
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Hey, I was getting that tone sound that you get when when your radio is not working.
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It was just bah.
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I was able to say, shot's fired.
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Boy, dispatch didn't know what that meant, anything, and they were steadily saying, checking my status.
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Can't get out on the radio and tell them that I'm okay.
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And I just shot him, he needs help.
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The guy's mom came to me before she went to her son.
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Oh wow.
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She uh looked at me, she said, Hey, it looks like a Graze wound on your head.
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Apply this handkerchief.
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I'm uh a former paramedic.
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I was like, hey, you go check on your son, he needs more help.
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And I and of course I went over there too to make sure that the weapons he didn't have weapons, and she began his life-saving measures.
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I went back to my car and got on the car radiary, which is much stronger than uh the handhelds, and was able to contact the sheriff's office and let them know what had happened and that I've been shot, and I'd shot him.
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That was epsilon.
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Man, that's a harrowing event.
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I unfortunately I've been in a couple gunfights myself, not just overseas, but here in America, where I had a home invasion robbery happen and I had to fight for my life.
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So I know how intense that is and how the aftermath uh can cause us to struggle.
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Now, most of our audience has never had to be in a fight for their life.
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Some of them have, but most of them probably haven't.
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But every one of you guys listening, you've been in a position or had an experience where you were completely overwhelmed.
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All of your senses were completely overwhelmed.
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Your mind is reeling, trying to find answers, and you don't know what to do next.
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Every one of us has had a situation like that.
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Whether it was watching something of violence happen, being a victim of violence, a bad car accident, a near miss.
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There's all of us have had that experience where that adrenaline hits us and we don't know what to do next.
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So, Tom, what is it that you did next?
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Once the scene has been cleared and all of that stuff is happening, I'm sure they put you on some leave for a little bit.
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What was that like for you?
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So I I did what well, I had to go to a hospital.
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I got I got stitches.
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My attorney showed up to talk to me.
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So officer-involved shootings here in Texas were investigated by the Texas Rangers.
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Rangers had to come out and talk to me.
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We set up a date where I was gonna give them a written account.
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Well, my account of what happened.
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So I had to do that in writing and present that to them.
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But that first that first day after the stitches were done, I was sitting at home by myself, couldn't figure out what to do.
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I was bored.
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I didn't want to be there.
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I had a massive headache from from just getting shot in the head.
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Uh I was like, man, I don't want to be home alone.
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My remate at the time, he was still at work and wasn't going to get home for another two hours.
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Well, let's go to the bar.
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Worst thing that you can possibly do.
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But that's that's what happens.
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Man, I I'm laughing because Tom, I exact same thing happened to me.
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And you're right, it's the worst thing we can do.
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I ended up at the bar, had some drinks.
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Uh of course, my head's all bandaged up, so everybody's asking, what happened?
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And I'm like, I can't really talk about it.
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What you saw on the news this happened, that was me, which had everybody at the bar buying me drinks.
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So maybe that's a good thing, maybe that's a really bad thing.
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So but I couldn't talk about the event.
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You can't talk about that.
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I'm now being criminally investigated for yeah, aggravated assault on somebody.
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So I can't talk about to anyone.
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And you're left to to deal with it on your own without being able to talk with someone.
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Yeah, that's that is difficult.
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For me, it was a little bit different of a situation.
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You know, the police investigated me as well, interrogated me, you know, but uh a lot of it was the unknown.
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So there's the track event and then the unknown of what's gonna happen next.
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What are the findings gonna be?
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Is it gonna be justified?
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At least that's what it was for me.
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Worried about, you know, what does this look like now?
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I'm a I'm a disabled veteran with PTSD.
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And so how is this gonna play out in the media and with law enforcement?
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So I had all these questions, probably similar to you of, you know, what are they did I do everything right?
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Did I follow the textbook?
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Are they gonna nitpick the scene and say I should have done X, Y, and Z after the fact?
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Sure, there's a lot of that that comes in.
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Without a doubt.
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I mean, especially my biggest fear was hey, I shot the guy in the back.
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Or is the public gonna take him accept that?
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I mean, yeah.
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Are they gonna understand that that it doesn't take much for him to make it to those trees?
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And then my gun's really ineffective because it's gonna get blocked by the tree.
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So, what's called cover and or concealment?
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I know you know that, but for your audience's sake, they may not know those terms, but he was headed towards cover and concealment.
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I was like, if I don't stop this, then when my partners get here, all the cops show up.
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Is he gonna jump out from behind a tree and be able to slash them with the machete?
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Is he gonna get behind there, reload, and shoot their goss?
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What's gonna happen?
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And being able to explain that to an audience when they're watching whatever the news is gonna say it.
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And and they never get the story 100% correct.
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They try, but between the cops only giving you certain details, them trying to edit it out and get it succinctly sorry, it just never comes out to right.
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I've been in law enforcement 24 years now, and I don't think I've ever seen a news story that has gotten all the pieces it got through that.
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Yeah.
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So, Tom, moving forward, you know, I asked you, what did you do to clean up the mess in your head?
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What do you believe was the biggest factor when it came to your healing?
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Because you had to heal not just physically, but mentally and emotionally and spiritually after this event.
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Because there's two critical things that happened.
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One, you were injured and almost fatally injured.
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I mean, you got shot in the head with a crossbow.
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That's that is a fatality if the trajectory had been just a little bit different.
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And then you've had to engage and shoot another human.
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So those are two very traumatic events that happened simultaneously.
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So, what do you think was the number one thing that helped you recover mentally, emotionally, and spiritually from that event or those two events?
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So it took a while for it to happen.
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I mean, once I got even getting close to the highway where it happened on, man, I would relive it and things would start coming back.
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And I went to the post-critical incident seminar that they did some other things.
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What what really helped me was uh one of the guys that was in my group.
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I'm on a kind of a quasi-task force.
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He worked for another county, but he was in the mental health club.
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He's uh very godly, and I got with him and started doing Bible studies and things like that, and connecting back to God.
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I never lost my faith, but I hadn't been living greatly within that thing.
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Right.
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And reconnecting to that was probably the best thing I could ever.
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You know, Tom, after you know, my incident six months later ended up homeless and struggling with PTSD and almost ended my life.
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And it's the same thing.
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When I found God and I started reading the Bible, at the same time I'm reading these neuroscience studies about the brain, I said, these are the exact same thing.
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That's when I really started taking control of my mental health, was by reading scripture.
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And I started to understand it on a whole new level.
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And it was amazing.
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I didn't have faith before that.
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When I was a kid, I went to a couple of youth groups with some friends, but I was never part of a church.
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I never was part of any of that organized religion at all.
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I went to some summer camps, but I had never really read the Bible or understood it or had any desire to do so.
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Once I started doing that, it opened my mind to how to heal from Trump.
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And so, Tom, I know you wrote a book and you talk about this incident, and now you help a lot of other people overcome similar events.
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What's the number one piece of advice that you would say?
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If you're gonna say, like, I believe like this is the number one thing you need to do to recover from a traumatic event, what would that be?
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I would say that getting into God's word, trusting God, learning about salvation and how that comes about, which involves you taking and believing and then also turning from your sins.
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But but I mean, first of all, before you you believe or anything, you'd have to, I mean, why would you just believe that if you don't find out that we are all sinners and we're all imperfect?
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Every single one of us needs uh needs something to cover the stains that we have on a Tom, it's it's so true.
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It it seems simple, and it is simple, but it's not easy.
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A lot of times people feel like they have to get their life together before they can go to church, before they can go to God.
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And it's the exact opposite.
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As if we go there in our mess, and God wipes the slate clean.
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He brings us that healing that we need.
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And so, anybody that's listening right now, if you think you have to get it all together before you go to God, you have two sold-out Christians, Bible-believing Christ followers who have lived extraordinary lives, dealt with extraordinary sin and trauma.
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And we're telling you, you do not have to have it all together.
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In fact, you can't have it all together before you go to them.
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Because that would mean you're doing it on your own.
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And we need to rely on Jesus.
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Jesus gave us that salvation and gave us the ability to come before the Father to be able to even have that kind of conversation.
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And so to think that you have to have it all together, both of us will tell you the same thing.
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You don't.
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You come there in your mess and you ask for forgiveness, you lay it all down, and you let Jesus restore you.
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I think the hardest part of it is actually realizing that we can't do it for ourselves, and that somebody else, namely Jesus, had to do it for us.
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And us giving up our control of that to make that happen is probably the hardest thing.
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Just about every other religion you get to other side, whatever that other side is, by uh by doing good works.
00:17:28.480 --> 00:17:29.519
Yeah, by works.
00:17:30.400 --> 00:17:32.400
And that's that's things I did.
00:17:32.559 --> 00:17:34.880
I do good works to do this.
00:17:35.039 --> 00:17:38.319
That's totally wrong, and that's not how it's done.
00:17:38.880 --> 00:17:41.440
Jesus did it for us.
00:17:41.599 --> 00:17:44.000
There is absolutely nothing I can do.
00:17:44.160 --> 00:18:02.960
I I love it because you can't do good works to earn your place in heaven, but because Jesus paid it all, then there is a desire in us to bring that out and to do good works to help other people, not to earn salvation, not to earn righteousness, but because that Holy Spirit lives in us and works through us.
00:18:03.039 --> 00:18:05.519
And so then we want to do that for other people.
00:18:05.680 --> 00:18:08.880
We want to help other people, but it doesn't earn our salvation at all.
00:18:09.039 --> 00:18:29.599
And you're right, I've traveled all over the world, I've experienced every single religion that's out there with my travels, and they all have some sort of hierarchy of how you earn your way through different prayers, different rituals, different offerings, different things that you have to do to be able to be right with God and earn your way into the next life.
00:18:29.759 --> 00:18:31.759
And Christianity is the exact opposite.
00:18:31.920 --> 00:18:33.359
There's nothing we can do to earn it.
00:18:33.440 --> 00:18:34.319
Jesus paid it all.
00:18:34.480 --> 00:18:37.440
All we can do now is be good ambassadors of Christ.
00:18:37.599 --> 00:18:40.319
So, Tom, we like to do three things here on the podcast.
00:18:40.400 --> 00:18:42.960
We like to educate, empower, and encourage people.
00:18:43.119 --> 00:18:47.200
So tell me the book that you have, what are people gonna learn inside of that book?
00:18:47.279 --> 00:18:50.720
Like quickly, what are some things that people will learn inside of your book?
00:18:50.880 --> 00:18:52.640
So it's a memoir about my career.
00:18:52.720 --> 00:18:57.680
It takes you through about 50 different events that I've been in during my career.
00:18:57.920 --> 00:19:03.119
So you'll learn some aspects about law enforcement that you would never think.
00:19:03.200 --> 00:19:04.640
I've had a death in custom.
00:19:04.880 --> 00:19:09.839
I got fired from my first job because of some politics.
00:19:10.000 --> 00:19:18.960
So you'll just learn some aspects of policing and how I mean they really relate to other jobs just as well as my own.
00:19:19.599 --> 00:19:28.960
You see that we're all humans, we all deal with things, whether we're a cop or firefighter, we're a janitor, we're a trash man.
00:19:29.200 --> 00:19:30.160
It doesn't matter.
00:19:30.319 --> 00:19:33.680
We all are living life and on the same journey.
00:19:33.839 --> 00:19:34.480
That's awesome.
00:19:34.559 --> 00:19:36.240
So we we we educate people.
00:19:36.400 --> 00:19:41.119
What are some things that people are gonna learn that they can take into their own mental health journey in this book?
00:19:41.279 --> 00:19:42.480
What are we gonna empower them?
00:19:42.720 --> 00:19:45.359
So I try to help them one find God.
00:19:45.519 --> 00:19:55.759
I mean, it it it's not, it's I really don't talk much about God in there, but there is in the last part of it where I try to walk you into that.
00:19:56.079 --> 00:20:17.839
I don't want to turn people off thinking that they're buying a religious book, but I would be doing a disservice if I didn't mention so it tries to get you there, it tries to get you to figure out what least words why, what each one of us is going through, and then learning how to overcome that and come out on the other.
00:20:18.160 --> 00:20:22.160
We you also have a gift, you have some free chapters, is that right for our viewers?
00:20:22.400 --> 00:20:22.640
Yeah.
00:20:22.799 --> 00:20:36.960
If you go to my website, www.scars of the badge.com and you sign up for my email list, it will automatically email you the free chapter of the first part of the book.
00:20:37.039 --> 00:20:40.319
We'll start talking about my given shocking.
00:20:40.720 --> 00:20:41.359
I love that, Tom.
00:20:41.519 --> 00:20:42.559
Try before you buy.
00:20:42.640 --> 00:20:42.960
I love that.
00:20:43.200 --> 00:20:46.799
Free chapter, people can get in there, learn a little bit, and say, is this for me?
00:20:46.960 --> 00:20:57.680
And everybody that comes on the mental health janitors, we always give something for free because we just want to help people on their mental health journey and make sure that what Tom has is gonna be a good fit for you.
00:20:57.839 --> 00:21:01.039
So he's agreed to have that chapter available for you guys.
00:21:01.119 --> 00:21:02.000
You can check it out.
00:21:02.160 --> 00:21:04.319
We want to empower you on your mental health journey.
00:21:04.480 --> 00:21:09.680
I want to encourage you to check out the book, to read it and share it with a friend.
00:21:09.920 --> 00:21:13.440
Knowledge is totally wasted unless we share it.
00:21:13.599 --> 00:21:16.079
So you're gonna learn some things from Tom.
00:21:16.319 --> 00:21:22.000
You're gonna learn some things from the book, you're gonna start applying these, and then people are gonna notice and they're gonna want to know one.
00:21:22.079 --> 00:21:25.200
Do not rob them of the knowledge that you have.
00:21:25.359 --> 00:21:27.920
You need to share this with other people.
00:21:28.079 --> 00:21:32.559
And when you do that, you're actually gonna learn it on a whole new level.
00:21:32.720 --> 00:21:36.160
In the Marine Corps, we would watch one, do one, teach one.
00:21:36.240 --> 00:21:39.599
The majority of our learning would come from teaching somebody else.
00:21:39.680 --> 00:21:46.720
So, what you learn from Tom, what you learn here on the mental health janitors, you have to apply it and then try to share it with somebody else.
00:21:46.880 --> 00:21:49.759
That's where the real learning is gonna happen.
00:21:50.000 --> 00:21:55.119
All right, Tom, if you wanted to leave our viewers with a message of hope, what would that be?
00:21:55.279 --> 00:21:57.599
Biggest hope is found in Jesus Christ.
00:21:57.759 --> 00:21:58.640
It's not hard.
00:21:59.039 --> 00:22:07.440
You just have to be willing to see that there's nothing that we can do, no works we can do that gets us all for you.
00:22:07.599 --> 00:22:08.319
Absolutely, Tom.
00:22:08.400 --> 00:22:10.400
That is the best message of hope right there.
00:22:10.559 --> 00:22:12.960
And I'm so happy that somebody had shared it with me.
00:22:13.119 --> 00:22:16.720
And now I try and share it with as many people as I can.
00:22:16.880 --> 00:22:22.880
And everybody grows in their own season, but it doesn't mean that I don't keep planting seeds everywhere that I go.
00:22:23.119 --> 00:22:25.759
So thank you so much, Tom, for being with us today.
00:22:25.920 --> 00:22:28.960
All of those links will be in the show notes, they'll be in the comments.
00:22:29.119 --> 00:22:30.000
Reach out to Tom.
00:22:30.160 --> 00:22:31.200
You'll be able to book him.
00:22:31.279 --> 00:22:32.960
He does speaking engagements as well.
00:22:33.039 --> 00:22:40.640
So if you're hearing his story and you have an event that's coming up, you have a conference where you need a keynote speaker, connect with Tom.
00:22:40.720 --> 00:22:45.680
He's going to be able to deliver an incredible message that's going to inspire your audience.
00:22:45.920 --> 00:22:48.720
For the mental health janitors, I'm Sergeant Q and I'm out.