00:00:00
Speaker 1: What's better than two hours of Mark Simone?
00:00:03
Speaker 2: Three. More Mark.
00:00:05
Speaker 1: The Mark Simone Show. Now nine till noon weekdays.
00:00:11
Speaker 2: 710WOR.
00:00:13
Speaker 1: Well, Alan Zweibel, one of the great comedy writers in the world, a playwright, the author, but he should get his book, Laugh Lines, Story of His Career. Very good book. A lot of great stories in there. Laugh Lines. Follow Alan Zweibel on Twitter and Instagram. All that stuff. Alan Zweibel, how you doing?
00:00:31
Speaker 2: I'm great, Mark. How are you?
00:00:33
Speaker 1: I'm good. Hey, your buddy, former partner there, Billy Crystal, you wrote his last Broadway show with him, just opened on Broadway. New show, rave reviews. I assume you were there, right?
00:00:46
Speaker 2: Well, we were there opening night, and it was magical. It was, you know, what he's done. has taken a number of tragedies that have happened in his life in this past year. And he gave tribute to his home that he lost in the fires, to his manager who died after 47 years of being represented by him, and, of course, Rob and Michelle Reiner. And somehow... He magically made the evening really funny, really touching, and really life-affirming. And it was brilliant.
00:01:35
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's just open. It's called, it's Billy Crystal's show. It's called 860. Everybody go see it. You'll love it. But you wrote the last one with him. Explain to me how the hell you do this. I mean, the last one-man show that was big was Jackie Mason, but that was like basically his nightclub act. but a guy just talking for two hours, just talking casually. How the hell do you write something like that and make it gripping for an audience?
00:02:01
Speaker 3: Well, you know, look, 700 Sundays is one of the great honors of my life and career because here was a guy, Billy, who trusted me to put words into the mouths of his family, of his relatives, most of whom I never met.
00:02:23
Speaker 2: But that was easier because, look, he's a Jew from Long Island. I'm a Jew from Long Island. It's not like I was writing for people I never met before. So my contributions were me writing about my grandparents and my relatives and just gave it to him. They're the same people. With this one, it was so personal. so personal. He's the only one who could have written it. You know, nobody else could have done it except for him and him alone. He had to go deep into his heart and talk from a very, very hurtful yet positive place. That's the fine balance over there. You know, with 700 Sundays, look, He knew his life and this and that, and whatever my contributions were, augmented what he had.
00:03:27
Speaker 1: Yeah. But explain what the hell he does. I don't know how you do this to have enough delivery and timing to just talk. It's not a 92nd Street Y. It's a Broadway stage. Normally you've got singing and dancing and sets, and it's just a guy talking. How do you hold people's attention delivery-wise?
00:03:45
Speaker 2: Well, he's got a great set. you know, that was built for him and he had a, has a really good director. And, uh, as far as the just talking part is concerned. Yeah. If he stops talking, you're just looking at him and it's silent. Right. So what, what kind of fun is that? The, um, what it is is you get into the talk and it takes you for a ride.
00:04:11
Speaker 1: Yeah.
00:04:11
Speaker 2: It, the material, the memories, what do you want to say? Um, you coast with it. Now, that being said, in order to make you laugh, in order to make you, the audience I'm talking about, cry, he's got to go deep into his heart. All right? He's got to touch himself so he'll touch you with what he's saying. As physically exhausting as it is to do eight shows a week, it's just as emotionally exhausting to go to those places. It's like going to a shrink eight times a week, telling the shrink your story eight times a week for an hour and a half each time, and the shrink at the end all along laughs, cries, and stands and claps. So it's very, very cathartic that way. So on one hand, it's very, very remedial. And on the other hand, yeah, you are performing, and it's exhausting.
00:05:21
Speaker 1: So now explain this to me. Why the hell would anybody want to do this? It's an amazing performance. It's unbelievable. Why would you want to have to repeat that eight times a week, every week? Didn't your friend Larry David try that, and he wanted to get out of there after a month? Well, Larry was a riot.
00:05:37
Speaker 2: Larry's wasn't the one-man show, but Larry didn't want to have to say the same things every night, which... there's a problem if you're speaking to other actors because they should know when they're supposed to talk, you know? So Larry was confined to it and he would send me, he would send me notes saying, I'd go, how are you doing? And he'd write back saying, I feel like I'm on a death row and there's never going to be a call from the governor. Yeah. Some people who are, um, Very facile and very, very great performers and menologists like doing it. Others do not. Billy is a master at it. Look how many times he hosted the Oscars. Look how many times he started off doing comic relief. Go through his career. I'm not even talking about the TV and the movies now. Talking about things to live audience. Touring and all of that. He's a great monologist, and audiences love him.
00:06:48
Speaker 1: Alan Zweibel, the great writer, producer. Oh, you're working on a Broadway show I can't wait to see. Is it a musical about Rodney Dangerfield?
00:06:57
Speaker 2: Well, that's been tabled.
00:06:59
Speaker 1: What?
00:07:00
Speaker 2: What? It's been tabled. It doesn't mean it's not going to happen, but there are some issues internally. Not me, but... with others involved in it. So it's been, it's been put aside. I've got, I've got a movie that I wrote with Barry Levinson that Barry is going to direct. He's the Oscar winning director of Rain Man and The Natural and all those great movies. And Billy and I also wrote a movie, an animated movie that I don't know, has some promise that it's going to go forward too. So while I'm waiting for the Rodney thing to resolve itself, I'm still at my laptop every day.
00:07:46
Speaker 1: I was waiting for this Rodney, because we knew Rodney. He was the most complex guy.
00:07:51
Speaker 2: Oh, he used to walk down the street in his pajamas, you know, in the middle of the day. So, yeah, yeah. It's a lot of fun there, you know, to see what makes this guy tick. And, of course, all those jokes, which are just, incomparable, you know? So let's see what happens.
00:08:12
Speaker 1: Yeah. But he was amazing. His private life, total degenerate everything. But then he'd go to work and he was the most disciplined craftsman in the world. Well, he was amazing.
00:08:24
Speaker 2: Yes, absolutely. When I would write for him, this was before Saturday Night Live, I would go to his apartment. Let's say four o'clock in the afternoon. He was still in his pajamas with a bathrobe, and I would write a joke. Then we would spend an hour moving the words, the same words around, but in a different order. He was a master technician, and he knew his own voice better than anyone.
00:08:59
Speaker 1: Yeah, master of every detail, except for one thing. When you'd see him, he'd be in a bathrobe, and he could never tie the thing enough Oh.
00:09:08
Speaker 2: God, it was flopping around. Everything was like flailing.
00:09:13
Speaker 1: Yes, it was billowing. Absolutely. Anyway, Alan Zweibel, they don't make writers like you anymore. You know, we had these legendary great writers. It was Larry Gelbart. There was Herb Sargent. But there's no new versions of you guys with that kind of.
00:09:31
Speaker 2: Well, I don't know. You know, there may be. I just don't know. who they are, if they operate the same way. There's a lot of really good television on, so there are good writers. But when you talk about the Larry Gelbarts of the world, you look at the Sid Caesar's writers' room. Larry Gelbart, Carl Reiner, Mel Brooks, Neil Simon, Woody Allen came on later.
00:10:00
Speaker 1: These were the writers.
00:10:01
Speaker 2: God, these are writers. And, um, Mel Brooks, Larry Gelbart, who created, uh, you know, mash and wrote all those great movies and everything. I hope this is true. I'm not sure it is, but I pray that it's true. I heard, That honest tombstone, right? This wonderful writer, the honest tombstone, the epitaph is finally a plot.
00:10:29
Speaker 1: I don't know if that's true, but that sounds like it.
00:10:33
Speaker 2: I don't know if it's true either, but unless I visit his grave, I'm going to tell people that.
00:10:39
Speaker 1: Well, Alan Zweibel, we're out of time, but hey, everybody get his book. His autobiography is wonderful. You'll love it. It's called Laugh Lines. And are you appearing anywhere next?
00:10:49
Speaker 2: You know, something I'm going to, uh, I'm speaking with my, uh, speakers bureau and, I should get some cities, um, you know, pretty soon on my, on my calendar.
00:11:00
Speaker 1: Well, let us know in the meantime, get his book, laugh lines and get it to Amazon or wherever you get your books. And, uh, Alan's white bell. Thanks for being with us.
00:11:09
Speaker 2: Thanks for having me.
00:11:10
Speaker 1: Take care. Hey, don't forget coming up at noon, Buck Sexton, Clay Travis, great show. You got, uh, The most listened to radio show in America, Sean Hannity at three. The very funny Jimmy Fallon tonight at nine on 710WOR.
Speaker 1: What's better than two hours of Mark Simone?
00:00:03
Speaker 2: Three. More Mark.
00:00:05
Speaker 1: The Mark Simone Show. Now nine till noon weekdays.
00:00:11
Speaker 2: 710WOR.
00:00:13
Speaker 1: Well, Alan Zweibel, one of the great comedy writers in the world, a playwright, the author, but he should get his book, Laugh Lines, Story of His Career. Very good book. A lot of great stories in there. Laugh Lines. Follow Alan Zweibel on Twitter and Instagram. All that stuff. Alan Zweibel, how you doing?
00:00:31
Speaker 2: I'm great, Mark. How are you?
00:00:33
Speaker 1: I'm good. Hey, your buddy, former partner there, Billy Crystal, you wrote his last Broadway show with him, just opened on Broadway. New show, rave reviews. I assume you were there, right?
00:00:46
Speaker 2: Well, we were there opening night, and it was magical. It was, you know, what he's done. has taken a number of tragedies that have happened in his life in this past year. And he gave tribute to his home that he lost in the fires, to his manager who died after 47 years of being represented by him, and, of course, Rob and Michelle Reiner. And somehow... He magically made the evening really funny, really touching, and really life-affirming. And it was brilliant.
00:01:35
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's just open. It's called, it's Billy Crystal's show. It's called 860. Everybody go see it. You'll love it. But you wrote the last one with him. Explain to me how the hell you do this. I mean, the last one-man show that was big was Jackie Mason, but that was like basically his nightclub act. but a guy just talking for two hours, just talking casually. How the hell do you write something like that and make it gripping for an audience?
00:02:01
Speaker 3: Well, you know, look, 700 Sundays is one of the great honors of my life and career because here was a guy, Billy, who trusted me to put words into the mouths of his family, of his relatives, most of whom I never met.
00:02:23
Speaker 2: But that was easier because, look, he's a Jew from Long Island. I'm a Jew from Long Island. It's not like I was writing for people I never met before. So my contributions were me writing about my grandparents and my relatives and just gave it to him. They're the same people. With this one, it was so personal. so personal. He's the only one who could have written it. You know, nobody else could have done it except for him and him alone. He had to go deep into his heart and talk from a very, very hurtful yet positive place. That's the fine balance over there. You know, with 700 Sundays, look, He knew his life and this and that, and whatever my contributions were, augmented what he had.
00:03:27
Speaker 1: Yeah. But explain what the hell he does. I don't know how you do this to have enough delivery and timing to just talk. It's not a 92nd Street Y. It's a Broadway stage. Normally you've got singing and dancing and sets, and it's just a guy talking. How do you hold people's attention delivery-wise?
00:03:45
Speaker 2: Well, he's got a great set. you know, that was built for him and he had a, has a really good director. And, uh, as far as the just talking part is concerned. Yeah. If he stops talking, you're just looking at him and it's silent. Right. So what, what kind of fun is that? The, um, what it is is you get into the talk and it takes you for a ride.
00:04:11
Speaker 1: Yeah.
00:04:11
Speaker 2: It, the material, the memories, what do you want to say? Um, you coast with it. Now, that being said, in order to make you laugh, in order to make you, the audience I'm talking about, cry, he's got to go deep into his heart. All right? He's got to touch himself so he'll touch you with what he's saying. As physically exhausting as it is to do eight shows a week, it's just as emotionally exhausting to go to those places. It's like going to a shrink eight times a week, telling the shrink your story eight times a week for an hour and a half each time, and the shrink at the end all along laughs, cries, and stands and claps. So it's very, very cathartic that way. So on one hand, it's very, very remedial. And on the other hand, yeah, you are performing, and it's exhausting.
00:05:21
Speaker 1: So now explain this to me. Why the hell would anybody want to do this? It's an amazing performance. It's unbelievable. Why would you want to have to repeat that eight times a week, every week? Didn't your friend Larry David try that, and he wanted to get out of there after a month? Well, Larry was a riot.
00:05:37
Speaker 2: Larry's wasn't the one-man show, but Larry didn't want to have to say the same things every night, which... there's a problem if you're speaking to other actors because they should know when they're supposed to talk, you know? So Larry was confined to it and he would send me, he would send me notes saying, I'd go, how are you doing? And he'd write back saying, I feel like I'm on a death row and there's never going to be a call from the governor. Yeah. Some people who are, um, Very facile and very, very great performers and menologists like doing it. Others do not. Billy is a master at it. Look how many times he hosted the Oscars. Look how many times he started off doing comic relief. Go through his career. I'm not even talking about the TV and the movies now. Talking about things to live audience. Touring and all of that. He's a great monologist, and audiences love him.
00:06:48
Speaker 1: Alan Zweibel, the great writer, producer. Oh, you're working on a Broadway show I can't wait to see. Is it a musical about Rodney Dangerfield?
00:06:57
Speaker 2: Well, that's been tabled.
00:06:59
Speaker 1: What?
00:07:00
Speaker 2: What? It's been tabled. It doesn't mean it's not going to happen, but there are some issues internally. Not me, but... with others involved in it. So it's been, it's been put aside. I've got, I've got a movie that I wrote with Barry Levinson that Barry is going to direct. He's the Oscar winning director of Rain Man and The Natural and all those great movies. And Billy and I also wrote a movie, an animated movie that I don't know, has some promise that it's going to go forward too. So while I'm waiting for the Rodney thing to resolve itself, I'm still at my laptop every day.
00:07:46
Speaker 1: I was waiting for this Rodney, because we knew Rodney. He was the most complex guy.
00:07:51
Speaker 2: Oh, he used to walk down the street in his pajamas, you know, in the middle of the day. So, yeah, yeah. It's a lot of fun there, you know, to see what makes this guy tick. And, of course, all those jokes, which are just, incomparable, you know? So let's see what happens.
00:08:12
Speaker 1: Yeah. But he was amazing. His private life, total degenerate everything. But then he'd go to work and he was the most disciplined craftsman in the world. Well, he was amazing.
00:08:24
Speaker 2: Yes, absolutely. When I would write for him, this was before Saturday Night Live, I would go to his apartment. Let's say four o'clock in the afternoon. He was still in his pajamas with a bathrobe, and I would write a joke. Then we would spend an hour moving the words, the same words around, but in a different order. He was a master technician, and he knew his own voice better than anyone.
00:08:59
Speaker 1: Yeah, master of every detail, except for one thing. When you'd see him, he'd be in a bathrobe, and he could never tie the thing enough Oh.
00:09:08
Speaker 2: God, it was flopping around. Everything was like flailing.
00:09:13
Speaker 1: Yes, it was billowing. Absolutely. Anyway, Alan Zweibel, they don't make writers like you anymore. You know, we had these legendary great writers. It was Larry Gelbart. There was Herb Sargent. But there's no new versions of you guys with that kind of.
00:09:31
Speaker 2: Well, I don't know. You know, there may be. I just don't know. who they are, if they operate the same way. There's a lot of really good television on, so there are good writers. But when you talk about the Larry Gelbarts of the world, you look at the Sid Caesar's writers' room. Larry Gelbart, Carl Reiner, Mel Brooks, Neil Simon, Woody Allen came on later.
00:10:00
Speaker 1: These were the writers.
00:10:01
Speaker 2: God, these are writers. And, um, Mel Brooks, Larry Gelbart, who created, uh, you know, mash and wrote all those great movies and everything. I hope this is true. I'm not sure it is, but I pray that it's true. I heard, That honest tombstone, right? This wonderful writer, the honest tombstone, the epitaph is finally a plot.
00:10:29
Speaker 1: I don't know if that's true, but that sounds like it.
00:10:33
Speaker 2: I don't know if it's true either, but unless I visit his grave, I'm going to tell people that.
00:10:39
Speaker 1: Well, Alan Zweibel, we're out of time, but hey, everybody get his book. His autobiography is wonderful. You'll love it. It's called Laugh Lines. And are you appearing anywhere next?
00:10:49
Speaker 2: You know, something I'm going to, uh, I'm speaking with my, uh, speakers bureau and, I should get some cities, um, you know, pretty soon on my, on my calendar.
00:11:00
Speaker 1: Well, let us know in the meantime, get his book, laugh lines and get it to Amazon or wherever you get your books. And, uh, Alan's white bell. Thanks for being with us.
00:11:09
Speaker 2: Thanks for having me.
00:11:10
Speaker 1: Take care. Hey, don't forget coming up at noon, Buck Sexton, Clay Travis, great show. You got, uh, The most listened to radio show in America, Sean Hannity at three. The very funny Jimmy Fallon tonight at nine on 710WOR.
