This is day. 357 curiosity is cheap.
So I have an admission to make that is important for this discussion to make sense.
The problem is that conversations with people. Drain me.
classic introvert problem
When you get into a conversation, you leave feeling drained like someone took your energy.
As a result you tend to avoid interactions with people even when you know, they are important and necessary.
You simply cannot build a relationship with someone without having conversations with them and this created a constant dilemma. You absolutely must make time to talk to meet to engage interact with the person or the people that you're trying to build a relationship with.
I know this sounds obvious, but for someone like me, it is a mountain that I climb almost every day.
So why is this?
I've spent decades wrestling with this problem and I figured a few things out. First of all interacting with people absolutely is an energy transaction.
You resist or dread talking to other people because you are anticipating the energy cost of that experience.
If for example you had to have a difficult conversation with an employee, you would anticipate it being hard you would know ahead of time that the conversation would be difficult in most likely emotionally challenging.
That's how I view every conversation.
This is not to say that I do not like people I do. I enjoy relationships and truly want them. It is just the anticipated energy cost of the conversation that is hard.
So I tend to avoid it even though I know avoidance is bad.
I'm not alone in this chances are if you are still reading this or listening to this, then you have also experienced this or are dealing with somebody like this.
So what is a technique to overcome the hesitancy to meet with others due to The Angst over having another draining conversation?
When someone is already feeling down or discouraged or struggling in life that he gets even worse. They want to hide away because they avoid any potential drain on the mental energy while they are in preservation mode.
So this technique that whatever technique you come up with most also consider that challenge.
the perceived energy cost has to be significantly reduced so that a person will not avoid or dread depending conversation how
although I have many strategies. The one that has been the most helpful to me is the concept that curiosity is cheap.
These conversations drain me because of the energy I put into preparing thinking about and then replaying them in my mind.
I imagine the version of myself that I have historically brought into professional situations engaged articulate carrying the conversation making people comfortable generating ideas building enthusiasm that version of me is expensive in terms of mental energy.
Curiosity however, does not require that version of myself curiosity requires little preparation when you're socially depleted the expense of part isn't necessarily being with people.
It's the sense that you have to produce something for them.
This is the thinking that gets you into trouble.
I need to be interesting. I need to have something intelligent to say. I need to demonstrate value. I need to keep the conversation moving. I need them to like me.
That's expensive thinking your simultaneously generating ideas monitoring their reaction choosing your words carefully remembering content managing your presentation and thinking about what comes next.
Curiosity reverses the direction of the energy flow instead of producing you are receiving.
Asking questions is cheap because it reduces self-monitoring.
You move away from internal psychoanalysis to thinking about the other person.
And added benefit curiosity shows. The other person that you are intent is genuine interest which goes a long way to improving any relationship.
Curiosity gives you permission to arrive without bringing the show.
And that is good for both sides.
so remember if you are dreading the next conversation use this simple concept
performance is expensive.
Curiosity is cheap.
So I have an admission to make that is important for this discussion to make sense.
The problem is that conversations with people. Drain me.
classic introvert problem
When you get into a conversation, you leave feeling drained like someone took your energy.
As a result you tend to avoid interactions with people even when you know, they are important and necessary.
You simply cannot build a relationship with someone without having conversations with them and this created a constant dilemma. You absolutely must make time to talk to meet to engage interact with the person or the people that you're trying to build a relationship with.
I know this sounds obvious, but for someone like me, it is a mountain that I climb almost every day.
So why is this?
I've spent decades wrestling with this problem and I figured a few things out. First of all interacting with people absolutely is an energy transaction.
You resist or dread talking to other people because you are anticipating the energy cost of that experience.
If for example you had to have a difficult conversation with an employee, you would anticipate it being hard you would know ahead of time that the conversation would be difficult in most likely emotionally challenging.
That's how I view every conversation.
This is not to say that I do not like people I do. I enjoy relationships and truly want them. It is just the anticipated energy cost of the conversation that is hard.
So I tend to avoid it even though I know avoidance is bad.
I'm not alone in this chances are if you are still reading this or listening to this, then you have also experienced this or are dealing with somebody like this.
So what is a technique to overcome the hesitancy to meet with others due to The Angst over having another draining conversation?
When someone is already feeling down or discouraged or struggling in life that he gets even worse. They want to hide away because they avoid any potential drain on the mental energy while they are in preservation mode.
So this technique that whatever technique you come up with most also consider that challenge.
the perceived energy cost has to be significantly reduced so that a person will not avoid or dread depending conversation how
although I have many strategies. The one that has been the most helpful to me is the concept that curiosity is cheap.
These conversations drain me because of the energy I put into preparing thinking about and then replaying them in my mind.
I imagine the version of myself that I have historically brought into professional situations engaged articulate carrying the conversation making people comfortable generating ideas building enthusiasm that version of me is expensive in terms of mental energy.
Curiosity however, does not require that version of myself curiosity requires little preparation when you're socially depleted the expense of part isn't necessarily being with people.
It's the sense that you have to produce something for them.
This is the thinking that gets you into trouble.
I need to be interesting. I need to have something intelligent to say. I need to demonstrate value. I need to keep the conversation moving. I need them to like me.
That's expensive thinking your simultaneously generating ideas monitoring their reaction choosing your words carefully remembering content managing your presentation and thinking about what comes next.
Curiosity reverses the direction of the energy flow instead of producing you are receiving.
Asking questions is cheap because it reduces self-monitoring.
You move away from internal psychoanalysis to thinking about the other person.
And added benefit curiosity shows. The other person that you are intent is genuine interest which goes a long way to improving any relationship.
Curiosity gives you permission to arrive without bringing the show.
And that is good for both sides.
so remember if you are dreading the next conversation use this simple concept
performance is expensive.
Curiosity is cheap.
