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Hello and welcome to Stand Up World, episode 101. It's
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good to be back doing this. I haven't dropped an
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episode in a long time. I've been working on an
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interesting project that I'm sure I'll end up telling you
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guys all about. But today I'm just going to do
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something I haven't done in a long time, just talk
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about some comics I love. These are five comics that
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if you don't know, you should. Now a lot of
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you people, if you're hotshot, big time stand-up comedy fans,
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you know these people, but a lot of people don't.
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So don't give me a, oh man, are you kidding?
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Really?
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Like everyone doesn't know her. Everyone doesn't. And that's what
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I'm going to do.
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Okay.
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So I'm going to start with a guy that I just,
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I've gotten to know the last few years. And I
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really love this guy, not only because he's out of Detroit,
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but because he's funny as hell. His name is Dave Landau.
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And If you don't know Dave, you've got to dig
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into him. You know, he started in Detroit at Second City.
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He did three seasons on Last Comic Standing. He was
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already laying in Anthony Cumio's sidekick for a long time.
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The guy's made his own movie, The King of Detroit,
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which you should check out. And he's on Rogan now
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and Kill Tony and Gutfeld. And, you know, As anyone
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who knows anything about me knows, I started in Detroit
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on the Detroit comedy scene with, you know, Tim Allen
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and Dave Coulier. There was a guy named Bill Thomas
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we knew and Malone and Nucis. But it was a
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new scene and Mark Ridley opened the Comedy Castle and
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that became the comedy store of Detroit. And Dave would,
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I would say, three or four classes behind me, but
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he was a murderer. He could kill. on any stage.
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And he's got his own show on Glenn Beck's network.
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But the real thing is he just, he's great live.
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You know, he reminds me of Burr a little bit.
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He sits on the shelf with Burr. How do you know?
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I'm a fan of Burr's work. Not him as a person,
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but I'm a fan of his work. And he is
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undoubtedly a master. And Dave, Dave is in that world.
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So let's watch a little Dave. If I'm sending you.
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To college, I'm not sending my kid to college, by
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the way.
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It used to be like you learned stuff, and now
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they just come over and they're like, hey, you're privileged.
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And it's like, pay for your school, you're privileged.
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Shut the fuck up.
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You live in America, it's free.
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We're all a little bit privileged.
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Sorry.
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You want to know what not privileged is?
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The fucking eight-year-old that made your shoes.
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Shut up.
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Be a little grateful for what you.
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Have and stop bitching every two minutes about nothing.
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You're 20 and you drink on a campus.
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Tell me, what's hard? There's a dickball jerk.
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Yeah, people wanna drink and fuck you.
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I'm 41 and look like this.
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You wanna trade?
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I have a child.
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In my trunk and I love being a dad.
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It's the greatest.
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Being in the room for the delivery is amazing. Yeah,
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one woman thinks it's amazing. The aftermath will haunt your dreams.
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My wife's like, what does my look like?
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I'm like, it's nice. It's good. What does it look like?
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I'm like, ah, like somebody kicked a hole in a pumpkin,
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I guess. and then just threw a wig on it
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for no reason. We have Halloween coming up, that was
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a fun holiday for me as a kid.
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Because I was poor, I used to have to wear
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a garbage bag and go as a raisin.
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Guy backed over me, couldn't figure out why a bag
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of trash was wearing jeans.
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I'm here with my wife, which.
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We're celebrating 18 years, and that's her.
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Birthday, we're Muslim, and.
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I'm.
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Kidding, joke.
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Any Muslims?
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Just one?
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How you doing?
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Welcome to the show. You like jokes? And I'm not
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gonna get stabbed. We'll make fun of Christians, too, because
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we're gonna do a little bit of everybody. But you
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a little bit more. We had a good anniversary. We did.
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It was fun.
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My wife gives me the same thing every year.
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Coupon for a blowjob.
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It's expired.
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One day I'm going to use it though. One day.
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We're just going to cross off that date.
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I just got to get her.
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Drunk enough that she passes out with her mouth open.
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You can't rape your wife. It's in the Koran.
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You know what I'm saying?
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That's two jokes for two towers.
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All right, yeah, check out Dave Landau. Also, Christina Mariani.
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who is just exploding. You know, she debuted on Kill Tony,
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and she basically blew up instantly. And she's a resident
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at Rogan's Club, the mothership. She's open for Segura and
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Ron White and Ari Shaffir. She's toured with Theo Vaughn.
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But she's unique. And by the way, I think she
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might even be doing a role in my new movie.
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But she's unique. So unique. of her own. She kind
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of reminds me of if Stephen Wright were a demented chick.
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That's the best I can say. But she's getting millions
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of views on her clips and she's just selling out everywhere.
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So let's watch some of her best stuff. This is fun.
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She's out there. Trust me. Roll it.
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Are you guys dating? If you caught her watching lesbian
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porn with Would that bother you? You'd be like, oh, right?
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This is hot.
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And I mean, it is hot. I even watch lesbian porn.
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But I just like seeing women get along. But you're like, oh,
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she's getting nice and ready for me.
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Maybe she'll watch Lord of the Rings next.
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Since she likes watching pussies on an adventure. I decided
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to dress for the theme of Epstein's Island.
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So the guy who whistled, pedophile.
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I learned that racism is passed down generationally. So it's internalized,
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which makes sense. I was walking home. It was late
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at night and this black guy walks towards me and
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instinctively I grabbed my purse, even though logically I know
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he's not for sale.
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He did steal my wallet though.
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I got beat.
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My mom, uh, when I was younger, she would beat
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me with a hanger.
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Yeah.
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Metal one yeah wire hanger yeah but then she did
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switch to a belt once i was born.
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He committed me tomorrow.
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And there's gonna be a lot of like loose women and.
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What's great is you don't even have to roofie them probably.
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I'm forgetful.
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That's the problem.
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I forgot to blow a candle out before checking out
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of my Airbnb. You know, I tried to contact the
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host about it, but I probably should not go to
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LA for a while.
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Why are you wearing sunglasses? I'm blind. Oh. So really,
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you don't need them. That was so stupid.
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Sorry.
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I'm so sorry. We both didn't see that coming.
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Okay. Check out Christina Mariani. She is a star. My
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buddy Sam Tripoli comes up next. He's a good buddy
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of mine from New York. Went to Vegas to college
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and started stand-up on a dare. The guy has, you've
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seen him, I think he's been on eight or ten
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times on Rogan. And he's got maybe eight different podcasts.
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I don't know. But his big one is Tinfoil Hat,
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which has like a thousand episodes and people love. And
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he's a conspiracy guy. He knows how to deal with
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conspiracy and history of conspiracies. And he knows how to
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do it and be funny, which is a great thing
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to be able to do. And he's got a lot
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of podcasts, but I think most people know him for
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Tinfoil Hat. He's a buddy of mine. He's got a
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new special out. And just take a look at this clip.
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Roll it.
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I love black women.
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I was flying and I had the hottest black chick
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sitting next to me on the flight.
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Okay, let's not go crazy, all right? There's a lot of.
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Hot black chicks, and then I've been to Waffle House.
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They're not all hot, okay? Slow your roll, okay? They're
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not all hot, okay? Not saying I wouldn't them, but
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I'm saying they're not all hot. Whoa, whoa, slow your roll.
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You're telling me every black chick is hot? No, not
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everything is hot. Okay, okay, so now you're backing down.
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I won this case. You are a hot chick. Okay,
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I just said you're a hot chick.
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I know.
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I love getting heckled by hot women.
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Go on.
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They just love attention.
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Go on.
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You don't love attention? Let's see if you can be
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quiet the rest of the show.
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I know you think this is a movie and you
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should talk to me right now, but just hold on.
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All right, you get a fist bump. Okay, you get
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a fisting. Let's go.
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Everything's violence with you people, huh? Thank you, one guy
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over here, for enjoying that.
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What?
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You people, what does that mean?
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I meant black people. That's what I meant. Don't throw that. No,
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come on.
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This isn't just a fun place. We're just having a
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good time. This isn't a black cruise where you start
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throwing shit at people. Let's just all chill out right
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now and have some fun.
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I love you.
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We're having a weird sex thing right now. We're both
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obviously attracted to each other. Charlie Brown is cock blocking
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me right now.
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It's okay. We have sexual tension. It's alright. You express
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it in weirder ways. Stop showing me what you're gonna
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do with my dick. Please, stop. Yeah, I know you would.
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You'd go.
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You're upsetting the old people right now.
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How old are you?
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It's okay. You're fine. Women, older women are great. I
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love older women.
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I'm a baby compared to you.
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Okay, yeah.
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I'm old as shit. I fucking love it. I love
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being old. It's fucking fun. Your endurance is probably not. What? No,
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don't get mad. This is the best thing.
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What?
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What?
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What did you just say? I couldn't understand it.
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Endurance?
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Your endurance.
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Yeah.
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Couldn't be well. You have to, like, get an inhaler
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and stuff.
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No, I don't need an inhaler. Because I don't care
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if you come, to be honest with you. I'm just
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going to nut and go to bed. It's all good, ma'am.
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It's all good. Ma'am, ma'am, miss. It's all love. I
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love everybody.
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That's Sam Tripoli. Check out his podcast. Check out his
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new special. Again, not for the squeamish, Mr. Tripoli. He
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and Christina Mariani could walk a crowd on the wrong night.
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But they're both pretty amazing. Next up is a real
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cool pal of mine. Actually, one of my best friends.
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A younger guy named Vinny Fastline from Pittsburgh. And Vinny's
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just great, man. He's just great. He's charming. He's funny.
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He deals with a lot of reality in his comedy.
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He had a brain tumor and had to have surgery,
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and it became his way to get on stage and
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talk about it, and he does a lot of good
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comedy on it. You know, he's toured with everybody. Dane
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Cook took him all over the world, Joe Coy, Swartzen,
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you know, and he's also, by the way, has a great,
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great podcast, My Plus One, With him and Tony Sarandos.
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Which I've been on with my son Bert. He's great.
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And I will tell you. Vinny has a new special
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coming out. Which I directed. And he killed. We did
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two shows. At the Upstairs Comedy Club. Downtown LA. And
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he killed. He got two standing ovations on each show.
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That's two standing ovations. And um. Boy, was he great.
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And it's a great special. We've just locked it. I mean,
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I've directed a lot of specials. It's not something I
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love to do. But especially when they come out this good,
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I'm really proud of them. I'm not going to show
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you anything from the special yet. I will in the
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weeks to come, I'm sure. But here is some Vinny
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being funny. Roll it.
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I was on a flight and this old lady was
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sitting next to me and this old lady leans over
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to me, she goes, hey, where you from?
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I'm like, Los Angeles.
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She's like, my son's from Indiana, my daughter's from South Carolina.
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I was like, nice.
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She didn't tell me where she was from. I'm like,
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this bitch is playing hard to get.
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What's up, girl?
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Well, time goes by, she asked me the same question.
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She goes, hey, where you from?
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Los Angeles.
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She's like, my son's from Indiana, my daughter's from South Carolina.
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All right.
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And her husband leans over and he goes, I'm sorry,
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she repeats herself. She repeats herself because I think she
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has Alzheimer's. Which I appreciate, I respect. My grandmother, not
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only did she have the farts, but she also had Alzheimer's.
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You know, I was like, I know it's not healthy
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to correct her. I know it's coming.
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I'll play along, right? She leans over.
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She goes, hey, where you from? I'm like, Los Angeles.
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Thanks for asking for the very first time.
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Where are you from?
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Or better yet, where are your kids from?
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My son's from Indiana. My daughter's from South Carolina. I
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was like, I did not know that.
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Thank you for sharing.
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And her husband leans over and he's like, I'm sorry,
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she repeats herself. Okay, a couple of you guys are retarded.
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Hell yeah.
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I was sitting next to two people with Alzheimer's. This
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is a seven hour flight. This happened in the first
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15 minutes. It's like, don't ride Spirit Airlines, okay? First
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of all, I was like, it's not healthy to correct her, dude.
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I'm gonna have a little bit of fun. I was like,
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I bet you 20 bucks I know where your kids
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are from.
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And they're like.
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I made $ 1, 600 by the end of this play. It
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didn't stop there.
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She's like, where are you from?
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I'm like, Indiana. My son's from Indiana. I was like,
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I know, Mom.
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I'm your son. All right, guys.
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Thank you so much. Vinny Fastland.
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All right. Vinny Fastland. Like I say, he's got a
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new special coming out called Vulnerable, which I happen to
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have directed and I know a little bit about. It's fantastic.
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But I will tell you more about that to come.
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In the meantime, let's talk about Owen Smith. Owen Smith
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might be one of my top five favorite comics of
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all time. This guy is so good. I love watching him.
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And my barometer is, do I wish I wrote that?
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Do I wish that was my bit? And Owen, Owen is,
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he's got about 20 of them that I wish I wrote.
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I'm watching his set all the time going, damn, damn,
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why didn't I think of that? He's from Nassau in
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the Bahamas. And he grew up in Maryland. And, you know,
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this guy, he's a heavyweight. And he's also, by the way,
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a huge writer. You know, he wrote, produced Black-ish, The
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Nightly Show with Larry Wilmore, Whitney, He was a showrunner
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on The Last OG with Tracy Morgan. And, you know,
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you can see him. He's a paid regular at the
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Comedy Store. You've seen him on Conan and Colbert. But
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he's got two specials, Anonymous and Good Luck, Everybody. He's just,
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he's a delightful comedian to watch. He's just got it.
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Check it out. Roll this.
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I believe marriage gets better the longer you stay in it.
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It's like a stock. Just don't look at it for
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30 years. Just trust the market. Just trust the market.
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And 30 years later, y'all can go, hey, look what
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we did.
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Hey.
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See that chart? All them ups and downs. As long
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as it appreciates 7% a year, you're doing something right. Yeah,
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our chart got them ups and downs, boy. For me,
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all them downs are when she take the pussy away.
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I remember that dip. That's when I was too funny
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at that party. She never could laugh at herself in
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the beginning. I stand by that joke, though. It was
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a good joke. My son wants to play in the NFL. Yeah.
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Nine years old. He's played flag football.
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He's good.
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He's scored a few. Touchdowns, but it's against white kids
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from Santa Monica Calm down champ, you know, I mean
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doing a gritty on So I asked him son, do
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you want to be a good NFL player or a
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great NFL player?
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You know what?
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He gonna tell me I won't be the best the
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best that ever did it, Dad.
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That's great, son.
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It's my fault, you know what I mean? Put that
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wind in his back. So I had to tell him,
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all right, son, if you want to be the best,
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we'll get you some coaching and put you on a
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weight program. And if you really want to be the best,
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then I'm gonna have to leave the family.
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Hate to break it to you, son, but the best
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don't know they daddies. I fear I may have stayed
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too long.
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Hey, don't cry, man. It's your dream, not mine. Well,
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my Waymo's here. See you at the Espy's. No, no,
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I'm not going to leave. I'm going to stay. Raise
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this mediocre athlete. Division III schools, here we come, yeah. Wow,
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Amherst College, good job, son.
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Right.
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Dave Landau. Christina Mariani. Sam Tripoli. Vinny Fastline. And Owen Smith.
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I'm telling you, if you don't know these comics, check
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them out. They will make you laugh hard, and you
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need to laugh. We all need to laugh. So that's it.
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That's my first episode back in quite a while. I'm
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glad to be back. Stand Up World, next week, I'm
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back on again with a very special guest. Thank you
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so much. Check me out on Apple, on my YouTube channel,
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and on my Substack, standupworld.substack.com. Thanks a lot. And by
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the way, if you're in the L.A. area, October 4th,
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I'm at the Covina Laugh Factory with another great comic,
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Adam Hunter. So come on out and join us. Thanks
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a lot. Appreciate you.
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Hello and welcome to Stand Up World, episode 101. It's
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good to be back doing this. I haven't dropped an
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episode in a long time. I've been working on an
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interesting project that I'm sure I'll end up telling you
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guys all about. But today I'm just going to do
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something I haven't done in a long time, just talk
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about some comics I love. These are five comics that
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if you don't know, you should. Now a lot of
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you people, if you're hotshot, big time stand-up comedy fans,
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you know these people, but a lot of people don't.
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So don't give me a, oh man, are you kidding?
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Really?
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Like everyone doesn't know her. Everyone doesn't. And that's what
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I'm going to do.
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Okay.
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So I'm going to start with a guy that I just,
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I've gotten to know the last few years. And I
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really love this guy, not only because he's out of Detroit,
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but because he's funny as hell. His name is Dave Landau.
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And If you don't know Dave, you've got to dig
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into him. You know, he started in Detroit at Second City.
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He did three seasons on Last Comic Standing. He was
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already laying in Anthony Cumio's sidekick for a long time.
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The guy's made his own movie, The King of Detroit,
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which you should check out. And he's on Rogan now
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and Kill Tony and Gutfeld. And, you know, As anyone
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who knows anything about me knows, I started in Detroit
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on the Detroit comedy scene with, you know, Tim Allen
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and Dave Coulier. There was a guy named Bill Thomas
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we knew and Malone and Nucis. But it was a
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new scene and Mark Ridley opened the Comedy Castle and
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that became the comedy store of Detroit. And Dave would,
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I would say, three or four classes behind me, but
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he was a murderer. He could kill. on any stage.
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And he's got his own show on Glenn Beck's network.
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But the real thing is he just, he's great live.
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You know, he reminds me of Burr a little bit.
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He sits on the shelf with Burr. How do you know?
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I'm a fan of Burr's work. Not him as a person,
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but I'm a fan of his work. And he is
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undoubtedly a master. And Dave, Dave is in that world.
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So let's watch a little Dave. If I'm sending you.
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To college, I'm not sending my kid to college, by
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the way.
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It used to be like you learned stuff, and now
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they just come over and they're like, hey, you're privileged.
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And it's like, pay for your school, you're privileged.
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Shut the fuck up.
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You live in America, it's free.
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We're all a little bit privileged.
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Sorry.
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You want to know what not privileged is?
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The fucking eight-year-old that made your shoes.
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Shut up.
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Be a little grateful for what you.
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Have and stop bitching every two minutes about nothing.
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You're 20 and you drink on a campus.
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Tell me, what's hard? There's a dickball jerk.
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Yeah, people wanna drink and fuck you.
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I'm 41 and look like this.
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You wanna trade?
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I have a child.
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In my trunk and I love being a dad.
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It's the greatest.
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Being in the room for the delivery is amazing. Yeah,
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one woman thinks it's amazing. The aftermath will haunt your dreams.
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My wife's like, what does my look like?
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I'm like, it's nice. It's good. What does it look like?
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I'm like, ah, like somebody kicked a hole in a pumpkin,
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I guess. and then just threw a wig on it
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for no reason. We have Halloween coming up, that was
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a fun holiday for me as a kid.
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Because I was poor, I used to have to wear
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a garbage bag and go as a raisin.
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Guy backed over me, couldn't figure out why a bag
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of trash was wearing jeans.
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I'm here with my wife, which.
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We're celebrating 18 years, and that's her.
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Birthday, we're Muslim, and.
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I'm.
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Kidding, joke.
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Any Muslims?
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Just one?
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How you doing?
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Welcome to the show. You like jokes? And I'm not
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gonna get stabbed. We'll make fun of Christians, too, because
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we're gonna do a little bit of everybody. But you
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a little bit more. We had a good anniversary. We did.
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It was fun.
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My wife gives me the same thing every year.
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Coupon for a blowjob.
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It's expired.
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One day I'm going to use it though. One day.
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We're just going to cross off that date.
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I just got to get her.
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Drunk enough that she passes out with her mouth open.
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You can't rape your wife. It's in the Koran.
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You know what I'm saying?
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That's two jokes for two towers.
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All right, yeah, check out Dave Landau. Also, Christina Mariani.
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who is just exploding. You know, she debuted on Kill Tony,
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and she basically blew up instantly. And she's a resident
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at Rogan's Club, the mothership. She's open for Segura and
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Ron White and Ari Shaffir. She's toured with Theo Vaughn.
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But she's unique. And by the way, I think she
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might even be doing a role in my new movie.
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But she's unique. So unique. of her own. She kind
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of reminds me of if Stephen Wright were a demented chick.
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That's the best I can say. But she's getting millions
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of views on her clips and she's just selling out everywhere.
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So let's watch some of her best stuff. This is fun.
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She's out there. Trust me. Roll it.
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Are you guys dating? If you caught her watching lesbian
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porn with Would that bother you? You'd be like, oh, right?
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This is hot.
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And I mean, it is hot. I even watch lesbian porn.
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But I just like seeing women get along. But you're like, oh,
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she's getting nice and ready for me.
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Maybe she'll watch Lord of the Rings next.
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Since she likes watching pussies on an adventure. I decided
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to dress for the theme of Epstein's Island.
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So the guy who whistled, pedophile.
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I learned that racism is passed down generationally. So it's internalized,
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which makes sense. I was walking home. It was late
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at night and this black guy walks towards me and
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instinctively I grabbed my purse, even though logically I know
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he's not for sale.
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He did steal my wallet though.
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I got beat.
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My mom, uh, when I was younger, she would beat
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me with a hanger.
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Yeah.
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Metal one yeah wire hanger yeah but then she did
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switch to a belt once i was born.
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He committed me tomorrow.
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And there's gonna be a lot of like loose women and.
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What's great is you don't even have to roofie them probably.
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I'm forgetful.
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That's the problem.
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I forgot to blow a candle out before checking out
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of my Airbnb. You know, I tried to contact the
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host about it, but I probably should not go to
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LA for a while.
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Why are you wearing sunglasses? I'm blind. Oh. So really,
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you don't need them. That was so stupid.
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Sorry.
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I'm so sorry. We both didn't see that coming.
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Okay. Check out Christina Mariani. She is a star. My
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buddy Sam Tripoli comes up next. He's a good buddy
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of mine from New York. Went to Vegas to college
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and started stand-up on a dare. The guy has, you've
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seen him, I think he's been on eight or ten
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times on Rogan. And he's got maybe eight different podcasts.
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I don't know. But his big one is Tinfoil Hat,
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which has like a thousand episodes and people love. And
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he's a conspiracy guy. He knows how to deal with
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conspiracy and history of conspiracies. And he knows how to
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do it and be funny, which is a great thing
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to be able to do. And he's got a lot
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of podcasts, but I think most people know him for
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Tinfoil Hat. He's a buddy of mine. He's got a
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new special out. And just take a look at this clip.
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Roll it.
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I love black women.
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I was flying and I had the hottest black chick
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sitting next to me on the flight.
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Okay, let's not go crazy, all right? There's a lot of.
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Hot black chicks, and then I've been to Waffle House.
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They're not all hot, okay? Slow your roll, okay? They're
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not all hot, okay? Not saying I wouldn't them, but
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I'm saying they're not all hot. Whoa, whoa, slow your roll.
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You're telling me every black chick is hot? No, not
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everything is hot. Okay, okay, so now you're backing down.
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I won this case. You are a hot chick. Okay,
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I just said you're a hot chick.
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I know.
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I love getting heckled by hot women.
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Go on.
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They just love attention.
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Go on.
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You don't love attention? Let's see if you can be
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quiet the rest of the show.
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I know you think this is a movie and you
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should talk to me right now, but just hold on.
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All right, you get a fist bump. Okay, you get
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a fisting. Let's go.
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Everything's violence with you people, huh? Thank you, one guy
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over here, for enjoying that.
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What?
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You people, what does that mean?
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I meant black people. That's what I meant. Don't throw that. No,
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come on.
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This isn't just a fun place. We're just having a
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good time. This isn't a black cruise where you start
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throwing shit at people. Let's just all chill out right
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now and have some fun.
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I love you.
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We're having a weird sex thing right now. We're both
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obviously attracted to each other. Charlie Brown is cock blocking
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me right now.
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It's okay. We have sexual tension. It's alright. You express
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it in weirder ways. Stop showing me what you're gonna
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do with my dick. Please, stop. Yeah, I know you would.
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You'd go.
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You're upsetting the old people right now.
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How old are you?
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It's okay. You're fine. Women, older women are great. I
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love older women.
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I'm a baby compared to you.
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Okay, yeah.
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I'm old as shit. I fucking love it. I love
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being old. It's fucking fun. Your endurance is probably not. What? No,
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don't get mad. This is the best thing.
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What?
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What?
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What did you just say? I couldn't understand it.
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Endurance?
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Your endurance.
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Yeah.
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Couldn't be well. You have to, like, get an inhaler
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and stuff.
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No, I don't need an inhaler. Because I don't care
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if you come, to be honest with you. I'm just
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going to nut and go to bed. It's all good, ma'am.
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It's all good. Ma'am, ma'am, miss. It's all love. I
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love everybody.
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That's Sam Tripoli. Check out his podcast. Check out his
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new special. Again, not for the squeamish, Mr. Tripoli. He
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and Christina Mariani could walk a crowd on the wrong night.
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But they're both pretty amazing. Next up is a real
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cool pal of mine. Actually, one of my best friends.
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A younger guy named Vinny Fastline from Pittsburgh. And Vinny's
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just great, man. He's just great. He's charming. He's funny.
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He deals with a lot of reality in his comedy.
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He had a brain tumor and had to have surgery,
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and it became his way to get on stage and
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talk about it, and he does a lot of good
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comedy on it. You know, he's toured with everybody. Dane
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Cook took him all over the world, Joe Coy, Swartzen,
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you know, and he's also, by the way, has a great,
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great podcast, My Plus One, With him and Tony Sarandos.
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Which I've been on with my son Bert. He's great.
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And I will tell you. Vinny has a new special
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coming out. Which I directed. And he killed. We did
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two shows. At the Upstairs Comedy Club. Downtown LA. And
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he killed. He got two standing ovations on each show.
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That's two standing ovations. And um. Boy, was he great.
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And it's a great special. We've just locked it. I mean,
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I've directed a lot of specials. It's not something I
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love to do. But especially when they come out this good,
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I'm really proud of them. I'm not going to show
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you anything from the special yet. I will in the
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weeks to come, I'm sure. But here is some Vinny
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being funny. Roll it.
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I was on a flight and this old lady was
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sitting next to me and this old lady leans over
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to me, she goes, hey, where you from?
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I'm like, Los Angeles.
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She's like, my son's from Indiana, my daughter's from South Carolina.
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I was like, nice.
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She didn't tell me where she was from. I'm like,
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this bitch is playing hard to get.
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What's up, girl?
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Well, time goes by, she asked me the same question.
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She goes, hey, where you from?
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Los Angeles.
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She's like, my son's from Indiana, my daughter's from South Carolina.
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All right.
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And her husband leans over and he goes, I'm sorry,
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she repeats herself. She repeats herself because I think she
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has Alzheimer's. Which I appreciate, I respect. My grandmother, not
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only did she have the farts, but she also had Alzheimer's.
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You know, I was like, I know it's not healthy
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to correct her. I know it's coming.
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I'll play along, right? She leans over.
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She goes, hey, where you from? I'm like, Los Angeles.
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Thanks for asking for the very first time.
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Where are you from?
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Or better yet, where are your kids from?
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My son's from Indiana. My daughter's from South Carolina. I
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was like, I did not know that.
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Thank you for sharing.
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And her husband leans over and he's like, I'm sorry,
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she repeats herself. Okay, a couple of you guys are retarded.
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Hell yeah.
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I was sitting next to two people with Alzheimer's. This
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is a seven hour flight. This happened in the first
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15 minutes. It's like, don't ride Spirit Airlines, okay? First
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of all, I was like, it's not healthy to correct her, dude.
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I'm gonna have a little bit of fun. I was like,
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I bet you 20 bucks I know where your kids
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are from.
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And they're like.
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I made $ 1, 600 by the end of this play. It
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didn't stop there.
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She's like, where are you from?
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I'm like, Indiana. My son's from Indiana. I was like,
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I know, Mom.
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I'm your son. All right, guys.
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Thank you so much. Vinny Fastland.
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All right. Vinny Fastland. Like I say, he's got a
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new special coming out called Vulnerable, which I happen to
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have directed and I know a little bit about. It's fantastic.
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But I will tell you more about that to come.
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In the meantime, let's talk about Owen Smith. Owen Smith
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might be one of my top five favorite comics of
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all time. This guy is so good. I love watching him.
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And my barometer is, do I wish I wrote that?
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Do I wish that was my bit? And Owen, Owen is,
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he's got about 20 of them that I wish I wrote.
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I'm watching his set all the time going, damn, damn,
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why didn't I think of that? He's from Nassau in
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the Bahamas. And he grew up in Maryland. And, you know,
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this guy, he's a heavyweight. And he's also, by the way,
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a huge writer. You know, he wrote, produced Black-ish, The
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Nightly Show with Larry Wilmore, Whitney, He was a showrunner
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on The Last OG with Tracy Morgan. And, you know,
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you can see him. He's a paid regular at the
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Comedy Store. You've seen him on Conan and Colbert. But
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he's got two specials, Anonymous and Good Luck, Everybody. He's just,
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he's a delightful comedian to watch. He's just got it.
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Check it out. Roll this.
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I believe marriage gets better the longer you stay in it.
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It's like a stock. Just don't look at it for
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30 years. Just trust the market. Just trust the market.
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And 30 years later, y'all can go, hey, look what
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we did.
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Hey.
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See that chart? All them ups and downs. As long
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as it appreciates 7% a year, you're doing something right. Yeah,
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our chart got them ups and downs, boy. For me,
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all them downs are when she take the pussy away.
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I remember that dip. That's when I was too funny
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at that party. She never could laugh at herself in
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the beginning. I stand by that joke, though. It was
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00:20:00.359 --> 00:20:05.779
a good joke. My son wants to play in the NFL. Yeah.
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Nine years old. He's played flag football.
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He's good.
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He's scored a few. Touchdowns, but it's against white kids
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from Santa Monica Calm down champ, you know, I mean
341
00:20:23.279 --> 00:20:29.730
doing a gritty on So I asked him son, do
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you want to be a good NFL player or a
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great NFL player?
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You know what?
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He gonna tell me I won't be the best the
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best that ever did it, Dad.
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That's great, son.
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It's my fault, you know what I mean? Put that
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wind in his back. So I had to tell him,
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all right, son, if you want to be the best,
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we'll get you some coaching and put you on a
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weight program. And if you really want to be the best,
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then I'm gonna have to leave the family.
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Hate to break it to you, son, but the best
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don't know they daddies. I fear I may have stayed
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too long.
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Hey, don't cry, man. It's your dream, not mine. Well,
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my Waymo's here. See you at the Espy's. No, no,
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I'm not going to leave. I'm going to stay. Raise
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this mediocre athlete. Division III schools, here we come, yeah. Wow,
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Amherst College, good job, son.
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Right.
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Dave Landau. Christina Mariani. Sam Tripoli. Vinny Fastline. And Owen Smith.
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I'm telling you, if you don't know these comics, check
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them out. They will make you laugh hard, and you
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need to laugh. We all need to laugh. So that's it.
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That's my first episode back in quite a while. I'm
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glad to be back. Stand Up World, next week, I'm
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back on again with a very special guest. Thank you
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so much. Check me out on Apple, on my YouTube channel,
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and on my Substack, standupworld.substack.com. Thanks a lot. And by
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the way, if you're in the L.A. area, October 4th,
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I'm at the Covina Laugh Factory with another great comic,
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Adam Hunter. So come on out and join us. Thanks
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a lot. Appreciate you.
