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Hello friends and welcome back to another episode of Seriously Dead.
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Before we dive into today's episode, I would love to hear from you.
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Drop me some fan mail.
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It's a voice note or a text.
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You can find that in the show notes below.
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And tell me what you want me to talk about.
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I talk about a lot of things related to the afterlife here, but I want to hear from you on what questions do you have related to spirit, related to the afterlife, related to how we connect, our intuition, all of that.
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I'm getting ready to sit down and plan out the next few months of content for Seriously Dead, and I would be honored to hear from you and what you'd like me to talk about.
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So as we dive in today, I'm going to share some really raw and honest truths with you related to why you may keep booking reading after reading.
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Why does one reading never feel like enough?
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I started to see a pattern a few years ago.
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No sooner a client left a session with me, they'd request another one almost immediately.
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And at first I thought, did that session not give them what they want?
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But then over time, I started to piece together they had lost trust with themselves.
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The desire to connect with spirit, to get clarity, to feel like someone or something is confirming that you are on the right path.
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That's real and it's valid.
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But what if the reason one reading is never enough is not because the medium wasn't good enough or spirit wasn't clear enough or the guidance wasn't exactly what you needed?
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What if it's because you've been looking for answers in all the wrong places?
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I know this because I was you.
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For years, I was the one booking reading after reading with a psychic, astrologer, medium, anything that would tell me what to do next.
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And truth be told, I never fully trusted any of it.
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Today I'm going to share my own personal story and what is actually happening when you keep going back for more.
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So the reading lands, the guidance is clear, spirit shows up and delivers something specific and real.
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And then you walk out.
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And within days or weeks, the doubt creeps back in.
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Did that really mean what I thought it meant?
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Maybe I should get another opinion.
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Maybe I should book one more session just to be sure.
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And the cycle starts again.
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This is not a problem with your reading.
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This is a problem with trusting the guidance.
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And I say that with complete compassion because I've lived in this space.
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I spent years in medical sales, traveling three to four weeks out of the month, working 70 plus hour weeks.
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My body was exhausted, my nervous system was completely fried.
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And every time I hit a crossroads, I'd book another reading.
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Because I didn't trust what I already knew deep down inside.
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Should I leave this job?
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Should I take the risk?
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Should I trust feeling that this has been showing up over and over again?
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I kept handing those questions to someone else because somewhere along the way, I'd stop trusting myself to answer them.
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And here's the pattern I see in women who come to me for readings.
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You actually already know.
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You knew before you ever came to me, before you even pressed the button to book a reading.
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You knew when that first nudge came through.
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You knew when the sign showed up for the third time.
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You booked the reading not because you needed the answer, but because you needed someone else to confirm what you already felt.
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That is the real reason one reading is never enough.
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Not because spirit's not speaking, but because you haven't learned to trust what spirit's saying to you directly.
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There are three patterns I see over and over again in women who keep booking reading after reading.
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Now, I want to pause and say this.
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To book a reading once a year to connect with your loved ones in spirit and hear what they have to say and share messages with them, that's one thing.
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But someone who has a desperate desire to book reading after reading after reading, or hop from psychic to astrologer to medium to tarot card reader to palm reader, that's different.
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The first thing I've seen is being so focused on how that you can't actually receive the sign or the message.
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You get the same dream three nights in a row about leaving your corporate job.
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You wake up and tell yourself, it's just my brain processing the day, and you go on about making your coffee and rush into your day.
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A friend's name pops into your head out of nowhere while you're driving.
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You think about texting her and then you talk yourself out of it, probably because she's too busy or you're too busy and don't have time.
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You hear a song twice in one day.
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That's already felt significant enough, but you brush it off as a coincidence.
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You're in your car all the time.
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Of course, you're gonna hear that song.
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The sign is there.
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Spirit is repeating because you keep talking yourself out of it the first time.
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The sign is there.
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Spirit is repeating it because you keep talking yourself out of it the first time.
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But you can't receive it because you're waiting for the how to make sense first.
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How would I explain this to my husband?
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How would I make the money work?
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How would I know for sure it's just not wishful thinking?
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So the signs sit there and you go back to your daily life like nothing ever happened.
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The second pattern is judging your life by how it looks to everyone else instead of how it actually looks to you.
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You post the family photo, Matt, everyone matching, everyone smiling, the comments roll in, hashtag goals, you're so lucky.
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And you read them and you feel nothing.
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Because behind the photo, there's a life that looks right from the outside and feels completely wrong from the inside.
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And every time that feeling gets loud enough to sit with it, you think.
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You think about what it would mean to actually change something.
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What would people think?
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What would they say?
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So you stay quiet.
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You keep showing up, you keep posting the photos, and you book another reading, hoping that spirit will finally tell you it's okay to trust what you felt all along.
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Hoping that spirit will validate you can trust your gut feeling over what everyone else sees.
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The third pattern is logically explaining away every sign the moment it arrives.
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Your throat tightens when your mom asks you to host Thanksgiving again.
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The pit in your stomach shows up when your friends ask you to go into business together.
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Something shifts in your chest when you think about staying in a relationship any longer.
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And immediately your brain rushes with logical explanation.
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It makes sense on paper.
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It's the responsible thing to do.
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Everyone's counting on you.
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You are so good at explaining feelings away with logic that you've stopped trusting feelings altogether.
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All three of these patterns have the same root cause.
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You've lost trust in your intuition.
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And until that trust is rebuilt, no number of readings will ever fill that gap.
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Let me tell you about three women who were sitting in exactly the same place you are.
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The first is about a woman who came to me every six to nine months for almost three years, the same question every single time.
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How am I supposed to leave my job?
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She had a stable 20-plus year corporate career.
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She was the one everyone counted on to hold it together at work and at home.
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And year over year, Spirit would show up and deliver the same answer.
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It is time to take the leap.
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You are ready.
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And she would nod and leave and come back a few months later asking the same question.
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One day I realized she'd stopped booking.
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When I ran into her at a community event, she told me why.
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Her mom and spirit had been sending her the same number for months.
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She would see it everywhere, on receipts, on the clock, on license plates.
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A song would come on the radio, and every time it played, she felt her mom right there in the room.
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And there was a dream.
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Her childhood best friend showing up again and again, telling her she was strong, telling her she was safe, telling her she would be okay.
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She stopped needing someone else to confirm any of it.
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And she decided she was going to lean in and trust it.
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Today she runs her own company.
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She's done multiple TED talks.
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She has built a business helping single parents become the best version of themselves.
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And she has not needed a reading since because she learned to follow her own breadcrumbs from spirit.
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The second story is about a client who married into a prominent family, respected in the community for kids, the image of a perfect life from the outside.
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What nobody knew was that she had fallen out of love with her husband and with the life that they had built around his family name.
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Every time the thought got loud enough, she'd sit with it and she would think about leaving and what it would mean.
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The community that would talk, the kids that would have to live through it.
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So she decided to stay quiet.
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She kept showing up, she kept posting the photos, and then one night at dinner, her daughter asked her completely out of nowhere, Mom, are you happy?
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She immediately responded on an instinct of yes, but that night she didn't sleep well.
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The question from her daughter wasn't random.
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It was a nudge from spirit that she needed to finally be honest with herself.
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A few months later, she left the marriage.
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It wasn't easy.
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The community did talk.
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She lost some friends, but guess what?
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The ones that mattered the most stayed.
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And she slowly started rebuilding a life around what was actually hers and what felt good to her.
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Her kids have told her over and over now how happy they are to see their mom happy.
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The third is about a client who spent 30 years building yoga studios.
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She got into yoga because she said it felt spiritual to her.
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But somewhere along the way, it became a business that felt completely disconnected from why she even started it.
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And then she lost her sister.
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And in the middle of that grief, she said something to me that stuck with me forever.
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She said, I built an entire career around being spiritual.
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And I don't even know what it feels like to have my own connection to spirit or even guidance from intuition anymore.
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She had explained away so many signs, chasing what made logical business sense that when she needed her intuition most, she couldn't find it.
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Her sister's favorite song came on one day in the studio.
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She kept teaching, her heart pounding.
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And when she got home that night, she cried for the first time since her funeral.
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Today she's closed the yoga studios.
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She is now a student of yoga again.
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She's found a spiritualist church, and she feels part of something much bigger than what her logical mind was constantly judging her with.
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So what is actually the alternative to booking another reading?
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There are three shifts that change everything.
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And I'm going to walk you through those today, all three of them, because once you hear them, you're going to understand exactly what's been missing.
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The first is learning your intuition.
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Here's the deal: we were born with intuition.
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We were all born with intuition, but we're immediately taught as a young child logic.
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If you make this decision, this is the outcome.
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If you make this decision, that's the outcome.
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So we're immediately from a young age taught to override any feeling that we get by analyzing it.
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This is where you stop waiting for the how to make sense before you trust anything.
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And you start reading the signs from spirit because they're already giving them to you.
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The dream on repeat, the name that keeps popping in your head, the song that plays twice a day, the feeling in your body that arrives before any logical explanation does.
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These are not coincidences, these are your signs.
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And the work here is learning what those signs mean specifically to you, not what they mean in a general spiritual sense, but what they mean to you in the context of your actual life, your actual decisions, your actual path.
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When you know your own signs, you stop waiting for a logical plan and you start following one that spirit's already laid out for you, even when it doesn't make sense on paper yet.
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The second shift is building your spiritual symbols.
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Every single person gets signs from spirit, and your signs are unique to you.
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What a cardinal means to you is not what it means to the person sitting next to you.
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What a recurring number means in your life is completely specific to your relationship with spirit.
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Once you build your own language, your own symbols, your own dictionary of what spirit's communicating, when specific things show up, you do not need someone else to translate it anymore.
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You immediately understand what is being said.
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This is where you stop judging your life by what other people see and you start building a relationship with what you actually feel.
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Because your spirit symbols are yours.
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They're not built on anyone else's opinion, approval, or interpretation.
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They are the private language between you and spirit.
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The third shift is opening the channel.
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This is where you stop explaining away every sign the moment it shows up.
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The pit in your stomach, the tightness in your throat, the knowing that arrives before your brain has any ability to logically explain it.
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These are not overreactions.
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These are not wishful thinking.
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This is spirit trying to get your attention.
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And opening the channel means learning to recognize that feeling, trusting it, and moving with it instead of immediately running it through the filter of what makes logical sense.
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When you learn these three things, learning your intuition, building your spirit symbols, and opening the channel, you stop needing someone else to hand you the answer because you already have it and you just finally know how to receive it.
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Everything I just walked you through is exactly what awakening your path teaches.
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And this November, I'm teaching it live in a virtual setting, three parts, real time, me walking you through every single piece of it.
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This is the work I wish I had when I was still in medical cells, sitting in my car on these long drives, talking to myself, booking another reading after reading because I didn't trust what I already knew.
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Awakening your path works differently than most spiritual courses.
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Most hand you a meditation and leave you to guess whether what you felt actually meant something.
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Or they point you back to another reading, another appointment, another person to ask.
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Awakening your path does not do that.
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It teaches you your own specific signs so that you have language that is yours for the rest of your life, not just the length of this course.
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Remember my client who saw me as soon as she possibly could for the course of three years with the same question: how am I supposed to leave my job?
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Once she learned to trust those nudges and those signs that Spirit had been giving her all along, she didn't need to come for a reading to get validation.
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She took that leap and she runs her own company now.
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And she's built something that is completely, entirely hers.
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That knowing doesn't fade.
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It doesn't reset the next time life gets hard.
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You carry your own signs and every decision after that.
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I am so excited to share that enrollment for Awakening Your Path opens this weekend, September 26, 2026.
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The wait list will open, and members on this wait list will get an exclusive discount before anyone else.
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If you're in this space of really wanting to learn how to rebuild that trust with your intuition, I highly recommend getting on that wait list today because when it opens this weekend, it is going to be incredible.
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You can get on that wait list at jennyshanks.com/slash AYP.
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I'll also link it in the show notes below.
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If you walk away from this episode with one thing, let it be this.
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The reason one reading is never enough is not because spirit's not speaking.
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It is because you have not yet learned to trust what spirit's already saying directly to you.
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The signs are there, the nudges are real, the knowing that arrives before any logical explanation is your intuition working exactly the way that it's supposed to work.
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You don't need another reading to confirm what you already feel.
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You need to learn your own language with spirit.
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And once you do that, you'll never need to outsource an answer again.
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All right, my friends, let's not keep this one in the spirit vault.
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I would love for you to share it with someone who maybe has felt like they constantly need to be booking readings and wondering why one is never enough.
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As always, tag me on Instagram if you found this episode to be magical or leave me a review wherever you listen to podcasts.
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I would be honored.
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And like I mentioned in the beginning of the show, if you have an episode suggestion or a question or something you're genuinely curious about, drop me a text or a voice note in the fan mail linked below.
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The wait list for awakening your path opens this weekend, September 26th.
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And those wait list members get an exclusive discount.
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You can find that again at jennyshanks.com/slash AYP.
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I'll be back next week with another episode of Seriously Dead.
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Until then, stay open, stay curious.
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And remember the dead are not quiet.
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You, my friends, just have to learn to listen.
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Hello friends and welcome back to another episode of Seriously Dead.
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Before we dive into today's episode, I would love to hear from you.
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Drop me some fan mail.
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It's a voice note or a text.
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You can find that in the show notes below.
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And tell me what you want me to talk about.
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I talk about a lot of things related to the afterlife here, but I want to hear from you on what questions do you have related to spirit, related to the afterlife, related to how we connect, our intuition, all of that.
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I'm getting ready to sit down and plan out the next few months of content for Seriously Dead, and I would be honored to hear from you and what you'd like me to talk about.
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So as we dive in today, I'm going to share some really raw and honest truths with you related to why you may keep booking reading after reading.
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Why does one reading never feel like enough?
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I started to see a pattern a few years ago.
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No sooner a client left a session with me, they'd request another one almost immediately.
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And at first I thought, did that session not give them what they want?
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But then over time, I started to piece together they had lost trust with themselves.
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The desire to connect with spirit, to get clarity, to feel like someone or something is confirming that you are on the right path.
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That's real and it's valid.
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But what if the reason one reading is never enough is not because the medium wasn't good enough or spirit wasn't clear enough or the guidance wasn't exactly what you needed?
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What if it's because you've been looking for answers in all the wrong places?
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I know this because I was you.
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For years, I was the one booking reading after reading with a psychic, astrologer, medium, anything that would tell me what to do next.
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And truth be told, I never fully trusted any of it.
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Today I'm going to share my own personal story and what is actually happening when you keep going back for more.
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So the reading lands, the guidance is clear, spirit shows up and delivers something specific and real.
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And then you walk out.
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And within days or weeks, the doubt creeps back in.
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Did that really mean what I thought it meant?
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Maybe I should get another opinion.
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Maybe I should book one more session just to be sure.
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And the cycle starts again.
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This is not a problem with your reading.
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This is a problem with trusting the guidance.
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And I say that with complete compassion because I've lived in this space.
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I spent years in medical sales, traveling three to four weeks out of the month, working 70 plus hour weeks.
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My body was exhausted, my nervous system was completely fried.
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And every time I hit a crossroads, I'd book another reading.
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Because I didn't trust what I already knew deep down inside.
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Should I leave this job?
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Should I take the risk?
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Should I trust feeling that this has been showing up over and over again?
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I kept handing those questions to someone else because somewhere along the way, I'd stop trusting myself to answer them.
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And here's the pattern I see in women who come to me for readings.
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You actually already know.
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You knew before you ever came to me, before you even pressed the button to book a reading.
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You knew when that first nudge came through.
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You knew when the sign showed up for the third time.
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You booked the reading not because you needed the answer, but because you needed someone else to confirm what you already felt.
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That is the real reason one reading is never enough.
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Not because spirit's not speaking, but because you haven't learned to trust what spirit's saying to you directly.
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There are three patterns I see over and over again in women who keep booking reading after reading.
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Now, I want to pause and say this.
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To book a reading once a year to connect with your loved ones in spirit and hear what they have to say and share messages with them, that's one thing.
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But someone who has a desperate desire to book reading after reading after reading, or hop from psychic to astrologer to medium to tarot card reader to palm reader, that's different.
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The first thing I've seen is being so focused on how that you can't actually receive the sign or the message.
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You get the same dream three nights in a row about leaving your corporate job.
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You wake up and tell yourself, it's just my brain processing the day, and you go on about making your coffee and rush into your day.
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A friend's name pops into your head out of nowhere while you're driving.
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You think about texting her and then you talk yourself out of it, probably because she's too busy or you're too busy and don't have time.
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You hear a song twice in one day.
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That's already felt significant enough, but you brush it off as a coincidence.
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You're in your car all the time.
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Of course, you're gonna hear that song.
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The sign is there.
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Spirit is repeating because you keep talking yourself out of it the first time.
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The sign is there.
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Spirit is repeating it because you keep talking yourself out of it the first time.
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But you can't receive it because you're waiting for the how to make sense first.
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How would I explain this to my husband?
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How would I make the money work?
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How would I know for sure it's just not wishful thinking?
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So the signs sit there and you go back to your daily life like nothing ever happened.
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The second pattern is judging your life by how it looks to everyone else instead of how it actually looks to you.
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You post the family photo, Matt, everyone matching, everyone smiling, the comments roll in, hashtag goals, you're so lucky.
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And you read them and you feel nothing.
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Because behind the photo, there's a life that looks right from the outside and feels completely wrong from the inside.
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And every time that feeling gets loud enough to sit with it, you think.
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You think about what it would mean to actually change something.
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What would people think?
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What would they say?
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So you stay quiet.
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You keep showing up, you keep posting the photos, and you book another reading, hoping that spirit will finally tell you it's okay to trust what you felt all along.
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Hoping that spirit will validate you can trust your gut feeling over what everyone else sees.
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The third pattern is logically explaining away every sign the moment it arrives.
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Your throat tightens when your mom asks you to host Thanksgiving again.
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The pit in your stomach shows up when your friends ask you to go into business together.
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Something shifts in your chest when you think about staying in a relationship any longer.
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And immediately your brain rushes with logical explanation.
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It makes sense on paper.
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It's the responsible thing to do.
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Everyone's counting on you.
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You are so good at explaining feelings away with logic that you've stopped trusting feelings altogether.
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All three of these patterns have the same root cause.
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You've lost trust in your intuition.
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And until that trust is rebuilt, no number of readings will ever fill that gap.
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Let me tell you about three women who were sitting in exactly the same place you are.
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The first is about a woman who came to me every six to nine months for almost three years, the same question every single time.
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How am I supposed to leave my job?
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She had a stable 20-plus year corporate career.
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She was the one everyone counted on to hold it together at work and at home.
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And year over year, Spirit would show up and deliver the same answer.
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It is time to take the leap.
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You are ready.
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And she would nod and leave and come back a few months later asking the same question.
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One day I realized she'd stopped booking.
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When I ran into her at a community event, she told me why.
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Her mom and spirit had been sending her the same number for months.
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She would see it everywhere, on receipts, on the clock, on license plates.
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A song would come on the radio, and every time it played, she felt her mom right there in the room.
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And there was a dream.
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Her childhood best friend showing up again and again, telling her she was strong, telling her she was safe, telling her she would be okay.
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She stopped needing someone else to confirm any of it.
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And she decided she was going to lean in and trust it.
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Today she runs her own company.
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She's done multiple TED talks.
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She has built a business helping single parents become the best version of themselves.
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And she has not needed a reading since because she learned to follow her own breadcrumbs from spirit.
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The second story is about a client who married into a prominent family, respected in the community for kids, the image of a perfect life from the outside.
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What nobody knew was that she had fallen out of love with her husband and with the life that they had built around his family name.
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Every time the thought got loud enough, she'd sit with it and she would think about leaving and what it would mean.
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The community that would talk, the kids that would have to live through it.
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So she decided to stay quiet.
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She kept showing up, she kept posting the photos, and then one night at dinner, her daughter asked her completely out of nowhere, Mom, are you happy?
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She immediately responded on an instinct of yes, but that night she didn't sleep well.
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The question from her daughter wasn't random.
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It was a nudge from spirit that she needed to finally be honest with herself.
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A few months later, she left the marriage.
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It wasn't easy.
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The community did talk.
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She lost some friends, but guess what?
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The ones that mattered the most stayed.
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And she slowly started rebuilding a life around what was actually hers and what felt good to her.
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Her kids have told her over and over now how happy they are to see their mom happy.
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The third is about a client who spent 30 years building yoga studios.
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She got into yoga because she said it felt spiritual to her.
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But somewhere along the way, it became a business that felt completely disconnected from why she even started it.
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And then she lost her sister.
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And in the middle of that grief, she said something to me that stuck with me forever.
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She said, I built an entire career around being spiritual.
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And I don't even know what it feels like to have my own connection to spirit or even guidance from intuition anymore.
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She had explained away so many signs, chasing what made logical business sense that when she needed her intuition most, she couldn't find it.
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Her sister's favorite song came on one day in the studio.
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She kept teaching, her heart pounding.
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And when she got home that night, she cried for the first time since her funeral.
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Today she's closed the yoga studios.
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She is now a student of yoga again.
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She's found a spiritualist church, and she feels part of something much bigger than what her logical mind was constantly judging her with.
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So what is actually the alternative to booking another reading?
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There are three shifts that change everything.
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And I'm going to walk you through those today, all three of them, because once you hear them, you're going to understand exactly what's been missing.
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The first is learning your intuition.
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Here's the deal: we were born with intuition.
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We were all born with intuition, but we're immediately taught as a young child logic.
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If you make this decision, this is the outcome.
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If you make this decision, that's the outcome.
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So we're immediately from a young age taught to override any feeling that we get by analyzing it.
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This is where you stop waiting for the how to make sense before you trust anything.
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And you start reading the signs from spirit because they're already giving them to you.
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The dream on repeat, the name that keeps popping in your head, the song that plays twice a day, the feeling in your body that arrives before any logical explanation does.
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These are not coincidences, these are your signs.
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And the work here is learning what those signs mean specifically to you, not what they mean in a general spiritual sense, but what they mean to you in the context of your actual life, your actual decisions, your actual path.
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When you know your own signs, you stop waiting for a logical plan and you start following one that spirit's already laid out for you, even when it doesn't make sense on paper yet.
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The second shift is building your spiritual symbols.
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Every single person gets signs from spirit, and your signs are unique to you.
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What a cardinal means to you is not what it means to the person sitting next to you.
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What a recurring number means in your life is completely specific to your relationship with spirit.
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Once you build your own language, your own symbols, your own dictionary of what spirit's communicating, when specific things show up, you do not need someone else to translate it anymore.
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You immediately understand what is being said.
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This is where you stop judging your life by what other people see and you start building a relationship with what you actually feel.
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Because your spirit symbols are yours.
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They're not built on anyone else's opinion, approval, or interpretation.
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They are the private language between you and spirit.
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The third shift is opening the channel.
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This is where you stop explaining away every sign the moment it shows up.
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The pit in your stomach, the tightness in your throat, the knowing that arrives before your brain has any ability to logically explain it.
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These are not overreactions.
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These are not wishful thinking.
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This is spirit trying to get your attention.
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And opening the channel means learning to recognize that feeling, trusting it, and moving with it instead of immediately running it through the filter of what makes logical sense.
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When you learn these three things, learning your intuition, building your spirit symbols, and opening the channel, you stop needing someone else to hand you the answer because you already have it and you just finally know how to receive it.
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Everything I just walked you through is exactly what awakening your path teaches.
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And this November, I'm teaching it live in a virtual setting, three parts, real time, me walking you through every single piece of it.
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This is the work I wish I had when I was still in medical cells, sitting in my car on these long drives, talking to myself, booking another reading after reading because I didn't trust what I already knew.
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Awakening your path works differently than most spiritual courses.
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Most hand you a meditation and leave you to guess whether what you felt actually meant something.
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Or they point you back to another reading, another appointment, another person to ask.
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Awakening your path does not do that.
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It teaches you your own specific signs so that you have language that is yours for the rest of your life, not just the length of this course.
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Remember my client who saw me as soon as she possibly could for the course of three years with the same question: how am I supposed to leave my job?
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Once she learned to trust those nudges and those signs that Spirit had been giving her all along, she didn't need to come for a reading to get validation.
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She took that leap and she runs her own company now.
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And she's built something that is completely, entirely hers.
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That knowing doesn't fade.
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It doesn't reset the next time life gets hard.
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You carry your own signs and every decision after that.
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I am so excited to share that enrollment for Awakening Your Path opens this weekend, September 26, 2026.
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The wait list will open, and members on this wait list will get an exclusive discount before anyone else.
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If you're in this space of really wanting to learn how to rebuild that trust with your intuition, I highly recommend getting on that wait list today because when it opens this weekend, it is going to be incredible.
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You can get on that wait list at jennyshanks.com/slash AYP.
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I'll also link it in the show notes below.
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If you walk away from this episode with one thing, let it be this.
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The reason one reading is never enough is not because spirit's not speaking.
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It is because you have not yet learned to trust what spirit's already saying directly to you.
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The signs are there, the nudges are real, the knowing that arrives before any logical explanation is your intuition working exactly the way that it's supposed to work.
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You don't need another reading to confirm what you already feel.
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You need to learn your own language with spirit.
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And once you do that, you'll never need to outsource an answer again.
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All right, my friends, let's not keep this one in the spirit vault.
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I would love for you to share it with someone who maybe has felt like they constantly need to be booking readings and wondering why one is never enough.
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As always, tag me on Instagram if you found this episode to be magical or leave me a review wherever you listen to podcasts.
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I would be honored.
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And like I mentioned in the beginning of the show, if you have an episode suggestion or a question or something you're genuinely curious about, drop me a text or a voice note in the fan mail linked below.
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The wait list for awakening your path opens this weekend, September 26th.
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And those wait list members get an exclusive discount.
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You can find that again at jennyshanks.com/slash AYP.
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I'll be back next week with another episode of Seriously Dead.
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Until then, stay open, stay curious.
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And remember the dead are not quiet.
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You, my friends, just have to learn to listen.
