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Welcome, welcome everyone to Roundy's Grants Reads and Reviews.
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I'm Tony Roundy, your host.
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When our daughter was, one of our daughters was in the second, third grade.
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Suddenly we're getting a phone call from the school and saying, Hey, we're gonna move her from her math class into a reading class because her reading is below level.
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And we're like, okay, she reads all the time.
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We were confused, but like, all right, give her the one-on-one support that she needs.
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And she went in there, and of course, she did better.
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And we started working with her at home, and I was comprehension was fine.
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She was listening to books, reading books, we were asking questions, she could answer the questions.
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So we were confused as to why she was behind and below grade level.
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We read all the time at home.
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There's always, you know, the literature and analysis going on.
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So we were like, okay, do what you need to do.
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But then all of a sudden, math problems came home.
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And remember, she's getting pulled out of math class to help her with her reading.
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And so, what did they send her home with?
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Word problems.
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Yeah.
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Word problems.
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And there were only 10 of them.
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And my father, who's a math teacher, came over because we were getting frustrated and we were struggling.
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And here she is sitting at the table for over an hour in tears, trying to figure out how to do these math problems and struggling so much because she was missing that.
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And the reading.
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And this is when we decided, yeah, maybe there's some reading struggle going on more than just things.
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So we started watching her writing, and I was having her writing things out, and she was flipping letters, and she was putting them upside down and mixing up words and letters in the words.
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And I started going, hmm, I think I know what's going on.
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I think we're dyslexic.
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And of course, the school's like, well, no, she's too smart for that.
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She doesn't have dyslexia, she just needs more attention and reading class.
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And it's okay and it's normal.
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And we're like, this isn't.
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So we force the issue.
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And at the time there wasn't a lot of actual tests for dyslexia, other than they're flipping their letters and stuff at a certain point, still, still struggling.
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But of course, by then it's too late, right?
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Because they've already missed so much instruction.
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They're so far behind and they're already struggling so much.
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It's a sad thing.
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And so we were like, well, we still want to get her tested as what we ever we can.
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BYU had some kind of test.
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We took her up and got her tested.
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And they're like, well, she's her high IQ is really high.
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She's doing fine.
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She'd learned coping mechanisms.
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She'd learned how to manipulate and how to figure things out.
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And so, and of course, she's smart.
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Just because you have a learning disability of some kind does not mean that you're not high IQ.
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And so the school wasn't going to give her any supports or anything.
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We forced a 504 to happen so that she would get extended time, some aids with reading.
00:03:48.730 --> 00:03:53.689
I've talked to my special education friends, like, hey, what can we do to help?
00:03:53.849 --> 00:03:56.730
And so we got colored pages and we got audio books.
00:03:56.890 --> 00:04:06.490
And when she was in the ninth grade, I'm sitting and reading out loud to her the Odyssey over spring break so she could get it.
00:04:06.650 --> 00:04:10.090
Because she was in such tears and her eyes were so tired.
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And she was in an honors English class.
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Here's the thing, you guys.
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She would she was struggling so much, but with the right support, at the time she was in junior and high school, she was an honors class.
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She did speech and debate, she was in theater, and we helped her find ways to use her skills to help her succeed.
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Now, here's the thing: if she was getting C's, we were happy because we knew that she was working her butt off and she was doing the very best she could.
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She was taking AP classes and getting B's and sometimes high C's on assignments, but she was always working her hardest.
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And in the end, she was able to graduate from high school with a pretty decent GPA, enough to get her into college and into a nursing program.
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You don't have to get A's to be successful, and so much in our society is academically to be successful.
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You have to be getting A's, you have to be getting certain grade levels and certain classes.
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And the reality is that you just need the right classes and you need to be making progress.
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And we've taken so much, and but success is up here, whether it's academically, whether it's socially, whether it's in business, whether it's in jobs or life with families, etc., that this is success, that anyone who doesn't attain this, even if they're doing better and making strides forward, they just don't think that they are successful.
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And that is so disheartening.
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When you are working hard, when you are growing, when you are doing your best, so we all start at different levels.
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And this is one thing the educational system has really done is when it said, okay, at this grade level you need to be here.
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You're at this grade level, you need to be here.
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And the reality is even at certain grade levels, at their ages, we're very different.
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And some of us are ahead and some of us are behind.
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When you get into high school, other than English, you're taking math classes wherever your math is at.
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You might take the same history classes because that's where they have you.
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But in all reality, we should be taking the classes where we're at and choosing those things, not based on grade level, not based on age, but what we need.
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And that's what the old system had in education, right?
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You had a one-room schoolhouse.
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You a kid comes in from the farms, and having just moved there, maybe he's never had a day of education is like he's not starting off with the kids that are his age.
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He gets to sit and hang out with them because they're all in the same room.
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But when he needs letters and numbers, he's working on those at his age level and his ability instead of what everyone else is at.
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And that goes for everything at once.
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The American Constitution and American dream never said that we were all going to have a house, we were all going to have certain jobs, we were all going to have however many kids.
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It said pursuit of happiness, pursuit of goodness, and the ability to try.
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And then we all get the opportunity to work our best and work our hardest to make progress, to become better than we were the day before.
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And we're so worried about making enough money and making enough, you know, advancements, and we're always worried about the next thing that we forget to live in the now and be present and enjoy where we're at and what we're doing, and the beauty that's in what we're doing right now.
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And someone who may have started off somewhere different than everyone else, and they've made progress and they've achieved things that they never thought they could achieve, should be celebrated and given recognition, and they should feel that they are successful because they have made that growth in progress.
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And we have got as a society to look at how we redefine what success is.
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Is it making certain achievements?
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Is it making a certain amount of money?
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No, it's learning and growing each at our own pace and at our own abilities, and meeting each other where we are, and seeing each other where we are, and helping each other where we are, like a one-room schoolhouse that we're all living in on this planet.
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And if we're not ready yet, then there's other people who help us.
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There's people who have done it that can reach out and bring us up.
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There are people that we can help that are lower than we are, and we're all working together to bring each other up.
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In my speech and debate career, one of my role models that I've always lived up to, she was the president of our Utah Debate Coaches Association before I was.
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And she always taught that it didn't that we shared everything.
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We helped other teams become better because when we raise everyone's level, then we're all better for it.
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And we don't want to win an easy win against someone just because they don't have the ability to do it, and it's not worth anything, it doesn't mean anything.
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But when they are good at what they're doing, and we've helped them come up and we help able to have a good debate and a good thing, and we lose, we at least lost doing our best effort, trying growing, becoming a better debater, becoming a better speaker.
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And I've really tried to emulate that throughout my career in the speech and debate world, in my theater world, in my teaching, and as a well as a human being, I hope that if we help raise other people up, it's not a competition.
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If we raise other people up and we have a better world because of it, yeah, I may not get the what in the job that I'm looking for, but someone else did.
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But at least I know I was where I was supposed to be, and they were their best, and the best person got that job.
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And that we're working together to make a better world and a better society.
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And I was thinking about this the other day, then I had never thought about this as I've dealt with this issue over the years, was that this is also the way the gospel works, and this is the way we are spiritual, right?
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That it's not about success reaching some certain level or some certain calling or having the perfect whatever that people sometimes think is what's necessary, especially when you're in certain high-demand cultures and things like that.
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That's not what the gospel is.
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The gospel is that we are bringing our best and allowing others to help us become better, and then we help other people become better.
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It's not a competition to get to heaven, it's bringing everyone together and helping everyone become raised up.
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And with the savior's help, achieving that because we can't do it on our own.
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We can help each other all we want, but all of us need the savior, no matter where we're at.
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And he meets us where we are.
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So we should meet each other where we are at.
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And that success that we can help achieve is the success of loving one another, of being kind to one another, of bringing our best selves to every situation, and to see the humanity and see other people as the Lord sees that.
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God, our Father in heaven and our Savior Jesus Christ, see us as who we can be, who we are potential to be, if we allow them to work on us and to bring us and to help us be who we're supposed to be as well.
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But they don't do it by themselves either.
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They give us people, they give us our families, they give us our friends, and they're not always perfect, they're in their own journey as well.
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We're all in that journey to become better and to help each other.
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And sometimes there's bad situations.
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And yes, sometimes people are in the worst situation, and people do not make the right choices, and they can hurt us, and they can sometimes make it so that we feel like we are less than what we are in our father's eyes.
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But when we stop and realize that they too are a child of God, we don't have to agree with what they die.
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In fact, we should not, especially when it's something evil or completely against what is right in the Lord's eyes.
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But even then, the Lord loves us when we make a mistake and he allows us the chance to change and do and become better.
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And we don't have to associate with those people, we don't have to agree or tolerate what they're doing, but we can see them as a human being and we can see ourselves in that same light.
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One of the hardest things I have as a perfectionist is to see myself the way that the Lord sees me.
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I can see it in everyone else.
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The Lord loves you.
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You've got this, you could become better.
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But then when it comes to myself, I hold myself to unexplain unexplainable expectations of what success is supposed to be for me.
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Again, I need to redefine my own success.
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What does that look like?
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Is it just me getting better each day?
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Is it me giving myself up to the Lord and taking it one day at a time and enjoying the journey?
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Being present instead of looking forward to what's next and what is next and what I'm not doing.
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Can I just enjoy this journey in this moment right now?
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And that would be success.
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Because all made a change and made a difference.
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And if I can help other people do the same thing, even better.
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But I really just need to fix myself, right?
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This moment I think and allow people to help me with that as well.
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So as you go forward, I hope that you know that you can redefine what success is.
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It's not what the world says it is, and it's not some unattainable decree of what society has said or determined is right or wrong, or this level of what's next.
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If you're struggling academically, are you getting better?
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Are you learning something?
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Are you growing?
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Are you doing better than the day before?
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Then that's success.
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In your life, are you having a family?
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Are you trying your best to do what's right for those who are in your family, your circle, whatever that may look like?
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That's success.
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Are you enjoying the moments?
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Are you spending time?
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Are you looking for the good in the world and living in the present?
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That's success.
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And it can be success if you allow yourself to feel that love for yourself and for others, the father and savior seed in each place.
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Meet each other where we're at, everyone.
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Know your love.
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Have a great day.
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Welcome, welcome everyone to Roundy's Grants Reads and Reviews.
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I'm Tony Roundy, your host.
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When our daughter was, one of our daughters was in the second, third grade.
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Suddenly we're getting a phone call from the school and saying, Hey, we're gonna move her from her math class into a reading class because her reading is below level.
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And we're like, okay, she reads all the time.
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We were confused, but like, all right, give her the one-on-one support that she needs.
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And she went in there, and of course, she did better.
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And we started working with her at home, and I was comprehension was fine.
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She was listening to books, reading books, we were asking questions, she could answer the questions.
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So we were confused as to why she was behind and below grade level.
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We read all the time at home.
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There's always, you know, the literature and analysis going on.
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So we were like, okay, do what you need to do.
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But then all of a sudden, math problems came home.
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And remember, she's getting pulled out of math class to help her with her reading.
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And so, what did they send her home with?
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Word problems.
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Yeah.
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Word problems.
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And there were only 10 of them.
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And my father, who's a math teacher, came over because we were getting frustrated and we were struggling.
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And here she is sitting at the table for over an hour in tears, trying to figure out how to do these math problems and struggling so much because she was missing that.
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And the reading.
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And this is when we decided, yeah, maybe there's some reading struggle going on more than just things.
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So we started watching her writing, and I was having her writing things out, and she was flipping letters, and she was putting them upside down and mixing up words and letters in the words.
00:02:32.729 --> 00:02:37.129
And I started going, hmm, I think I know what's going on.
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I think we're dyslexic.
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And of course, the school's like, well, no, she's too smart for that.
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She doesn't have dyslexia, she just needs more attention and reading class.
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And it's okay and it's normal.
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And we're like, this isn't.
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So we force the issue.
00:02:52.890 --> 00:03:01.450
And at the time there wasn't a lot of actual tests for dyslexia, other than they're flipping their letters and stuff at a certain point, still, still struggling.
00:03:01.530 --> 00:03:03.610
But of course, by then it's too late, right?
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Because they've already missed so much instruction.
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They're so far behind and they're already struggling so much.
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It's a sad thing.
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And so we were like, well, we still want to get her tested as what we ever we can.
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BYU had some kind of test.
00:03:17.050 --> 00:03:18.969
We took her up and got her tested.
00:03:19.210 --> 00:03:22.490
And they're like, well, she's her high IQ is really high.
00:03:22.650 --> 00:03:24.250
She's doing fine.
00:03:24.490 --> 00:03:26.090
She'd learned coping mechanisms.
00:03:26.170 --> 00:03:28.890
She'd learned how to manipulate and how to figure things out.
00:03:28.969 --> 00:03:31.210
And so, and of course, she's smart.
00:03:31.370 --> 00:03:36.409
Just because you have a learning disability of some kind does not mean that you're not high IQ.
00:03:37.689 --> 00:03:42.250
And so the school wasn't going to give her any supports or anything.
00:03:42.330 --> 00:03:48.570
We forced a 504 to happen so that she would get extended time, some aids with reading.
00:03:48.730 --> 00:03:53.689
I've talked to my special education friends, like, hey, what can we do to help?
00:03:53.849 --> 00:03:56.730
And so we got colored pages and we got audio books.
00:03:56.890 --> 00:04:06.490
And when she was in the ninth grade, I'm sitting and reading out loud to her the Odyssey over spring break so she could get it.
00:04:06.650 --> 00:04:10.090
Because she was in such tears and her eyes were so tired.
00:04:10.170 --> 00:04:12.330
And she was in an honors English class.
00:04:12.490 --> 00:04:14.170
Here's the thing, you guys.
00:04:14.409 --> 00:04:22.569
She would she was struggling so much, but with the right support, at the time she was in junior and high school, she was an honors class.
00:04:23.209 --> 00:04:32.649
She did speech and debate, she was in theater, and we helped her find ways to use her skills to help her succeed.
00:04:32.889 --> 00:04:42.730
Now, here's the thing: if she was getting C's, we were happy because we knew that she was working her butt off and she was doing the very best she could.
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She was taking AP classes and getting B's and sometimes high C's on assignments, but she was always working her hardest.
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And in the end, she was able to graduate from high school with a pretty decent GPA, enough to get her into college and into a nursing program.
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You don't have to get A's to be successful, and so much in our society is academically to be successful.
00:05:10.889 --> 00:05:15.769
You have to be getting A's, you have to be getting certain grade levels and certain classes.
00:05:17.209 --> 00:05:22.329
And the reality is that you just need the right classes and you need to be making progress.
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And we've taken so much, and but success is up here, whether it's academically, whether it's socially, whether it's in business, whether it's in jobs or life with families, etc., that this is success, that anyone who doesn't attain this, even if they're doing better and making strides forward, they just don't think that they are successful.
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And that is so disheartening.
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When you are working hard, when you are growing, when you are doing your best, so we all start at different levels.
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And this is one thing the educational system has really done is when it said, okay, at this grade level you need to be here.
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You're at this grade level, you need to be here.
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And the reality is even at certain grade levels, at their ages, we're very different.
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And some of us are ahead and some of us are behind.
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When you get into high school, other than English, you're taking math classes wherever your math is at.
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You might take the same history classes because that's where they have you.
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But in all reality, we should be taking the classes where we're at and choosing those things, not based on grade level, not based on age, but what we need.
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And that's what the old system had in education, right?
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You had a one-room schoolhouse.
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You a kid comes in from the farms, and having just moved there, maybe he's never had a day of education is like he's not starting off with the kids that are his age.
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He gets to sit and hang out with them because they're all in the same room.
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But when he needs letters and numbers, he's working on those at his age level and his ability instead of what everyone else is at.
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And that goes for everything at once.
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The American Constitution and American dream never said that we were all going to have a house, we were all going to have certain jobs, we were all going to have however many kids.
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It said pursuit of happiness, pursuit of goodness, and the ability to try.
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And then we all get the opportunity to work our best and work our hardest to make progress, to become better than we were the day before.
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And we're so worried about making enough money and making enough, you know, advancements, and we're always worried about the next thing that we forget to live in the now and be present and enjoy where we're at and what we're doing, and the beauty that's in what we're doing right now.
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And someone who may have started off somewhere different than everyone else, and they've made progress and they've achieved things that they never thought they could achieve, should be celebrated and given recognition, and they should feel that they are successful because they have made that growth in progress.
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And we have got as a society to look at how we redefine what success is.
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Is it making certain achievements?
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Is it making a certain amount of money?
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No, it's learning and growing each at our own pace and at our own abilities, and meeting each other where we are, and seeing each other where we are, and helping each other where we are, like a one-room schoolhouse that we're all living in on this planet.
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And if we're not ready yet, then there's other people who help us.
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There's people who have done it that can reach out and bring us up.
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There are people that we can help that are lower than we are, and we're all working together to bring each other up.
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In my speech and debate career, one of my role models that I've always lived up to, she was the president of our Utah Debate Coaches Association before I was.
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And she always taught that it didn't that we shared everything.
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We helped other teams become better because when we raise everyone's level, then we're all better for it.
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And we don't want to win an easy win against someone just because they don't have the ability to do it, and it's not worth anything, it doesn't mean anything.
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But when they are good at what they're doing, and we've helped them come up and we help able to have a good debate and a good thing, and we lose, we at least lost doing our best effort, trying growing, becoming a better debater, becoming a better speaker.
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And I've really tried to emulate that throughout my career in the speech and debate world, in my theater world, in my teaching, and as a well as a human being, I hope that if we help raise other people up, it's not a competition.
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If we raise other people up and we have a better world because of it, yeah, I may not get the what in the job that I'm looking for, but someone else did.
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But at least I know I was where I was supposed to be, and they were their best, and the best person got that job.
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And that we're working together to make a better world and a better society.
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And I was thinking about this the other day, then I had never thought about this as I've dealt with this issue over the years, was that this is also the way the gospel works, and this is the way we are spiritual, right?
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That it's not about success reaching some certain level or some certain calling or having the perfect whatever that people sometimes think is what's necessary, especially when you're in certain high-demand cultures and things like that.
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That's not what the gospel is.
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The gospel is that we are bringing our best and allowing others to help us become better, and then we help other people become better.
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It's not a competition to get to heaven, it's bringing everyone together and helping everyone become raised up.
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And with the savior's help, achieving that because we can't do it on our own.
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We can help each other all we want, but all of us need the savior, no matter where we're at.
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And he meets us where we are.
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So we should meet each other where we are at.
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And that success that we can help achieve is the success of loving one another, of being kind to one another, of bringing our best selves to every situation, and to see the humanity and see other people as the Lord sees that.
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God, our Father in heaven and our Savior Jesus Christ, see us as who we can be, who we are potential to be, if we allow them to work on us and to bring us and to help us be who we're supposed to be as well.
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But they don't do it by themselves either.
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They give us people, they give us our families, they give us our friends, and they're not always perfect, they're in their own journey as well.
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We're all in that journey to become better and to help each other.
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And sometimes there's bad situations.
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And yes, sometimes people are in the worst situation, and people do not make the right choices, and they can hurt us, and they can sometimes make it so that we feel like we are less than what we are in our father's eyes.
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But when we stop and realize that they too are a child of God, we don't have to agree with what they die.
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In fact, we should not, especially when it's something evil or completely against what is right in the Lord's eyes.
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But even then, the Lord loves us when we make a mistake and he allows us the chance to change and do and become better.
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And we don't have to associate with those people, we don't have to agree or tolerate what they're doing, but we can see them as a human being and we can see ourselves in that same light.
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One of the hardest things I have as a perfectionist is to see myself the way that the Lord sees me.
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I can see it in everyone else.
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The Lord loves you.
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You've got this, you could become better.
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But then when it comes to myself, I hold myself to unexplain unexplainable expectations of what success is supposed to be for me.
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Again, I need to redefine my own success.
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What does that look like?
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Is it just me getting better each day?
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Is it me giving myself up to the Lord and taking it one day at a time and enjoying the journey?
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Being present instead of looking forward to what's next and what is next and what I'm not doing.
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Can I just enjoy this journey in this moment right now?
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And that would be success.
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Because all made a change and made a difference.
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And if I can help other people do the same thing, even better.
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But I really just need to fix myself, right?
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This moment I think and allow people to help me with that as well.
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So as you go forward, I hope that you know that you can redefine what success is.
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It's not what the world says it is, and it's not some unattainable decree of what society has said or determined is right or wrong, or this level of what's next.
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If you're struggling academically, are you getting better?
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Are you learning something?
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Are you growing?
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Are you doing better than the day before?
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Then that's success.
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In your life, are you having a family?
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Are you trying your best to do what's right for those who are in your family, your circle, whatever that may look like?
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That's success.
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Are you enjoying the moments?
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Are you spending time?
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Are you looking for the good in the world and living in the present?
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That's success.
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And it can be success if you allow yourself to feel that love for yourself and for others, the father and savior seed in each place.
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Meet each other where we're at, everyone.
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Know your love.
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Have a great day.
