WEBVTT
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Hello, I'm Rob Beckett.
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And I'm Josh Willicombe.
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Welcome to Parenting Hell, the show in which Josh and
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I discuss what it's really like to be a parent,
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which I would say can be a little tricky.
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So, to make ourselves, and hopefully you, feel better about
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the trials and tribulations of modern day parenting, each week
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we'll be chatting to a famous parent about how they're coping.
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Or hopefully how they're not coping.
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And we'll also be hearing from you, the listener, with
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your tips, advice and, of course, tales of parenting woe.
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Because, let's be honest, there are plenty of times when
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none of us know what we're doing. Hello, you're listening
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to Parenting Hell with.
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Can you say Rob? Becket. And can you say Josh?
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Widdicombe.
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Widdicombe.
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It's the child beatboxing.
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I don't know.
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It felt like they're using Anton Dubek's Wi-Fi.
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I should say about Anton Dubek's Wi-Fi last week.
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We try our best to keep the quality as good
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as we can, and it's quite difficult to talk about this.
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Did you get some complaints about Anton Dubek's Wi-Fi?
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No, a couple of people moaned.
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But what I would say is when you get anyone
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that's off the telly and over 50... you're very much
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dealing with an iPad and hope.
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Yeah, I mean, he can foxtrot, but he can't use
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a dongle, let's be honest.
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But that's not just Anton.
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That's fine. In general, when you're on the, people on
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the telly that are over 50, they don't, they're not
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sort of grassroots like we are with.
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Setting up our computers ourselves kind of things. Very much
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iPad 2. I think it would.
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Be off-brand for Anton Dubek to be across modern technology.
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Imagine if he had a gaming chair and a big, like,
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curved screen, like a Twitch streamer.
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But who was that, Josh, introducing us?
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Hi, Rob, Josh, and sexy voice Michael. This is Lyra.
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Say your names.
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Aged 14 months. Big fans of you guys. I listen
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weekly to your podcast. Purchased audio books of both your books.
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Bought the Parenting Hell signed book and the audio book.
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Oh, wow.
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Thank you very much.
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I'm pretty much keeping you guys in business. Although I
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am unwilling to download a second free app to listen
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to your podcast.
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Is that what she said?
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No, I'm joking, obviously.
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Oh, yeah.
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I forgot about this. Because we announced that we're moving
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to Spotify exclusively, which is still free to listen to.
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It's completely free. When we announced it, obviously, we were
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expecting people to be a little bit confused. But then
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we explained that you can still download the podcast for
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free and download Spotify for free and listen for free.
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There are adverts on Spotify.
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Have you outlined the free element of that?
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Well, I understood that people would be confused and we
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explained it to them and a lot of people were fine.
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But the ones I couldn't get my head around, the
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ones going, I just don't want another app on my phone.
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And I felt like on the list of things I
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give a fucking shit about, how many apps someone has
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on their phone really isn't one of them.
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No, well.
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Because you know what? Look, how many apps?
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I've got hundreds of fucking apps and I've never thought
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about it.
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I've got hundreds of fucking shit apps on my phone.
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I mean, what even is Stampy UK? That's an app
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I downloaded once to work out stamp duty. I'm just
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looking at my apps here.
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I've got Shopkins Run for the kids when their iPads
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run out of battery. Yeah.
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What three words? What the fuck is that?
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I've got Discord, downloaded it, never used it, but fair enough. Anyway,
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the next episode will be only available on Spotify.
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Anyway, let me talk about my day. So I've had
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a howler of a day.
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Go on.
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School run, walking to school. we are literally at the
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door where they're going. That's sort of the little entrance bit,
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massive Fox shit on the floor. I say, don't tread
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in that.
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A child could.
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Never have stepped in it more squarely or full on.
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And then she put her foot up.
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Absolutely covered in Fox shit.
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So then, but then I am thinking, Oh, I had
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to go to the, like the teacher at the gate.
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I was like, Oh, She's trotting fox poo. I don't
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really know what to do.
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Obviously, I knew what to do. It was like, you've
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got to wash it off. But I was like, I'm
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not at home.
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And I'm like, I can't just bowl into the school.
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You can't take her all the way home, though. Exactly.
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So they were like, OK, well, we'll sort it out.
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I was like, no, no, no.
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I'm not expecting you to clean the shoe. I was
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just basically, it was so British. Basically, I should have
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just gone, excuse me, can I use your toilet? Because
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she's got fox poo on her shoe.
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Yeah, yeah, yeah.
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And then gone in.
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Or just said, can I use the toilet? So I
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had to take the shoe off.
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I carried her in.
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And then I spent 10 minutes cleaning fox poo, and
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I'm going to send you the picture out of the shoot.
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It's fine, Rob.
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No, it was grooved in.
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Look at the picture.
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I'll put it on Instagram. That is a killer, right?
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Oh, game over. Right off the shoe. Right off the shoe.
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Well, no.
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Where's your daughter at this point? Stood in the toilet
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with you?
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She's waiting in reception with one shoe on, talking to
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the receptionist. Right, yeah.
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Okay.
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I'm in the toilet, and then I'm like, right, the
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only thing in there is toilet tissue, but it hasn't
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got a sharp enough.
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No, that's not going to do it.
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Exactly. It hasn't got a sharp enough edge, has it,
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to get in the groove?
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Exactly, unless you're willing to put your nails behind the
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toilet paper.
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Absolutely not.
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No, not me.
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That is not me.
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Not me, sir.
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Right.
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So what would you do in that situation?
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I just think one shoe's fine. What would I do
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in that situation?
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I'd at least spat my coffee on the table.
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I think I would... I think you'd have to go
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to the cafeteria and get a knife.
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No. Well, also, now I'm thinking, oh, God, I don't
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want my... daughter to be like getting embarrassed and straight
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you know it's a fur you know it's like she's
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his first year she don't want to be known as fox.
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Poof first day after half term as well.
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Fox poof and all stuff like that yeah so um.
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They've come up with something better than that i imagine.
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I went into my pop wallet yeah cut a card.
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No because i didn't want to because i don't want
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to do it on a bank card because i've got
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to touch that and use that i was looking through
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my car and i needed all them cards can i have.
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Another guess Fold a receipt twice so you've got a
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kind of point from the hardness of that receipt.
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Right, that's what I was after. No receipts. Do you
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know what I had in there?
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Not one of our condoms.
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I had my ticket to the UFC.
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Oh, no.
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And that was, I love keeping my tickets when I've
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gone to an event.
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Yeah.
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And then the other one.
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Never look at them ever again, but you do put
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them in a box and then think, one day I'll
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go through.
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And imagine, one day I'll remember all those things.
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One day my children will launch them in a skip
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when I'm dead. Anyway, I thought, I know, I don't want,
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I want to keep the UFC ticket. So I used
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what else.
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I had in there.
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And I'm a bit ashamed of this, Josh.
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No.
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It was a stamp.
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A stamp?
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Not with... Not with the face of our dead monarch.
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Yeah.
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Oh, Rob.
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I know. Oh, no.
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Oh, no.
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It's their face.
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Wait, but Rob.
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What?
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Was the stamp mounted on a piece of card, right?
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So the stamp was mounted on a piece of card.
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Couldn't you just take the stamp off and stick it
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to the UFC ticket?
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I should have done that.
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Oh, no, Rob.
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Rob, you could be hung for treason for this.
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I used a queen's head.
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Okay, well, let's not go too graphic.
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Let's not go too graphic because the Daily Mail will
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jump on this. Sky TV comic in Queen Fox shit shocker.
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No, it'll be Radio 2 host.
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Radio 2 host smears shit on dead monarch face.
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All publicity is good publicity is it though is it
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i had to do it so i had to that's
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all i had but what i should have done is
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peeled lizzie off yeah stuck it to something else and
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then used the mounted bit of card.
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Yeah you should have done that but instead you just
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you just folded the card in two to get a
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tight corner good.
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Edge good and then i and i sort of zoomed
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it around and got it out and then flushed the
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tissue paper and then put the shoe underneath the tap
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great work how about you josh.
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Yeah, well, I think it's time for our guest, Rob.
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I've got anecdotes, but I'm going to save.
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Them for Tuesday.
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Do you want me to redo them on my phone
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as a kind of little taster?
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Okay, cool. Yeah, go on then. Give me the headlines.
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Two rices, end of play.
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Date, packed lunch and top knot. So that's something to
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look forward to. Four anecdotes for Tuesday.
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Wow.
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Joe, I literally didn't care about any of them. But no,
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do you know what? Two Rices got me.
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Yeah, excited about Two Rices.
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Two Rices and Topknot. End of play date and packed lunch.
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I think there needs to be another thing in there.
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Okay. Surprise end to play date.
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I like it.
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Yeah.
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And worrying success of packed lunch. Oh, that's better.
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Yeah.
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Now I'm teased.
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Yeah.
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And I'm going to change the others to the Topknot debate.
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Like it.
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Yep.
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And Two Rice humiliation.
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Oh, isn't that better? We're learning to be broadcasters.
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Live.
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This is exciting, isn't it?
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Yeah, this is it, Rob.
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Well, it's something to look forward to on Tuesday.
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And people at home enjoying our creative process. I'm buzzing.
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Yeah, we're both so excited with that. We're really chuffed
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with ourselves. Basically, you said four things and I thought
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that sounded shit. And then now you've sexed it up. Right,
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our guest this week, Simon Gregson. He's got three children.
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Yeah.
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And he has been Steve McDonald for 20-odd years, hasn't he?
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Yeah, I mean, probably more.
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And also, his first ever thing he's done outside of
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Coronation Street is Queens for the Night, where he does drag,
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a show I'm a judge on. So we'll talk to
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him about that, because that's quite a departure, isn't it,
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to go from Corrie for 25 years, then drag?
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Yes, of course.
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Right, here's Simon Gregson. Please welcome to the podcast, Simon Gregson.
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That is the introduction. Is that all right, Simon?
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00:10:06.730 --> 00:10:07.500
That was perfect.
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00:10:07.960 --> 00:10:09.240
Because it was correct, wasn't it?
263
00:10:09.779 --> 00:10:10.899
It was very correct, yeah.
264
00:10:10.919 --> 00:10:14.059
I can't say nothing about it.
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You can't leave this with the ump after that. There'll
266
00:10:17.399 --> 00:10:18.399
be other reasons, but not that.
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00:10:18.419 --> 00:10:19.779
You set me up for the day. Yeah.
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00:10:20.990 --> 00:10:21.769
Where are you today?
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00:10:21.990 --> 00:10:22.269
Oh, yeah.
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Where are you at home?
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I'm at home, yeah.
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I've been up quite early helping my wife bake. She's
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just started doing a cafe up the road.
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00:10:33.690 --> 00:10:34.470
Doing a cafe?
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Running a cafe?
276
00:10:35.860 --> 00:10:36.679
Yeah, yeah.
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00:10:36.700 --> 00:10:39.940
She's taking over a cafe at Garden Centre. So I'm
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making scones this morning for the first time ever in
279
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my life.
280
00:10:43.159 --> 00:10:43.740
Oh, right.
281
00:10:43.759 --> 00:10:45.639
OK, well, good luck to the people eating those scones.
282
00:10:46.370 --> 00:10:50.529
Exactly, yeah. We'll be sued by Wednesday.
283
00:10:50.610 --> 00:10:55.750
Now, Simon, we've met before because you were on Queens
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00:10:55.870 --> 00:10:58.330
for the Night, which is on ITV this Saturday, in
285
00:10:59.090 --> 00:11:02.110
your first sort of performative role outside of.
286
00:11:02.090 --> 00:11:03.190
Steve Macdonald on Corrie.
287
00:11:04.080 --> 00:11:05.080
Absolutely right, yeah.
288
00:11:05.299 --> 00:11:07.159
And so how long have you been Steve McDonald for
289
00:11:07.279 --> 00:11:08.759
on Corrie?
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00:11:08.759 --> 00:11:09.139
33 years.
291
00:11:09.679 --> 00:11:10.379
Wow.
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33 years.
293
00:11:10.860 --> 00:11:13.629
And then you've done like a lot of the celebrity
294
00:11:13.669 --> 00:11:17.929
shows like Catchphrase and Family Fortunes and those sort of things. Yeah.
295
00:11:18.190 --> 00:11:21.250
But after 33 years, you've taken on the role as
296
00:11:21.289 --> 00:11:23.600
a drag queen. So before we get on to the kids,
297
00:11:24.059 --> 00:11:25.220
I just was so shocked.
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00:11:25.379 --> 00:11:27.840
Well, it's a natural transition.
299
00:11:27.860 --> 00:11:28.039
Yeah.
300
00:11:30.159 --> 00:11:32.519
How was that, the first thing you did outside of
301
00:11:32.539 --> 00:11:34.759
Steve McDonald?
302
00:11:35.340 --> 00:11:36.570
It was really fun, you know.
303
00:11:36.590 --> 00:11:40.750
I mean, my agent, you know, gave me, asked me
304
00:11:40.769 --> 00:11:41.809
whether I wanted to do it or not.
305
00:11:41.830 --> 00:11:43.299
And I was like, well, yeah, why wouldn't I?
306
00:11:43.629 --> 00:11:45.590
You've got to show you've got range, Rob. This is
307
00:11:45.629 --> 00:11:47.149
the opposite of what you've been doing.
308
00:11:47.169 --> 00:11:48.960
Now he's making scones. He's a changed man.
309
00:11:48.980 --> 00:11:52.519
This is it, yeah. I was in my pinny this morning.
310
00:11:52.580 --> 00:11:53.320
I've not stopped.
311
00:11:55.799 --> 00:11:57.580
So, Steve, anyway, you was brilliant on that. We can
312
00:11:57.620 --> 00:12:00.159
talk about that a bit more later on. It's on,
313
00:12:00.200 --> 00:12:03.600
I think, Saturday night on ITV. But point of the episode,
314
00:12:03.860 --> 00:12:05.519
let's talk about your kids. How many kids you got?
315
00:12:05.820 --> 00:12:06.720
What are their ages?
316
00:12:07.559 --> 00:12:11.220
I've got three boys. I've got Alfie's 15. I've got Harry,
317
00:12:11.279 --> 00:12:14.200
who is 13. And I've got Henry, who is six.
318
00:12:14.639 --> 00:12:18.039
They're the most amazing boys. We're so very, very lucky
319
00:12:18.059 --> 00:12:19.860
with them. Most of the time.
320
00:12:20.379 --> 00:12:21.159
Most of the time.
321
00:12:21.440 --> 00:12:23.500
They get on really well. There is a lot of
322
00:12:23.539 --> 00:12:27.200
testosterone there, so there is a lot of fighting. Not
323
00:12:27.240 --> 00:12:29.379
to the point where there's blood drawn or, you know,
324
00:12:29.399 --> 00:12:30.759
they get out swords or anything.
325
00:12:31.279 --> 00:12:34.600
But typical brothers just rolling around and winding each other up.
326
00:12:34.679 --> 00:12:38.950
But apart from that. They're great. They're really great. We
327
00:12:39.000 --> 00:12:40.450
are blessed with them. They're very good boys.
328
00:12:40.470 --> 00:12:42.870
And you said you're not very good at computers when
329
00:12:42.909 --> 00:12:45.169
we were setting up this Zoom. And I can see
330
00:12:45.389 --> 00:12:47.809
on your Zoom it says Alfie. So you were on
331
00:12:47.850 --> 00:12:49.029
your son's laptop.
332
00:12:49.830 --> 00:12:53.450
Yeah, well, it was originally my laptop, but now it's
333
00:12:53.509 --> 00:12:54.929
ended up as Alfie's, like.
334
00:12:54.850 --> 00:12:56.110
Most of the things in the house.
335
00:12:56.649 --> 00:12:59.299
He's got a very small bedroom with all of our
336
00:12:59.320 --> 00:12:59.750
stuff in it.
337
00:12:59.919 --> 00:13:01.240
And how old's Alfie?
338
00:13:01.240 --> 00:13:02.299
15? 15, yeah.
339
00:13:02.559 --> 00:13:05.259
And what's it like with teenagers? Have they hit that
340
00:13:05.279 --> 00:13:06.559
sort of teenage angst yet?
341
00:13:06.580 --> 00:13:06.980
Do they sort of?
342
00:13:07.460 --> 00:13:09.299
Hate you now, or is it a bit not as
343
00:13:09.350 --> 00:13:10.909
bad as the people make it out?
344
00:13:11.330 --> 00:13:11.970
You know what?
345
00:13:12.070 --> 00:13:14.889
It's not as bad as people make out with us.
346
00:13:15.450 --> 00:13:19.149
I think, because I have a friend who had a
347
00:13:19.169 --> 00:13:22.049
teenage daughter, who obviously she's not a teenager anymore, but
348
00:13:22.500 --> 00:13:23.019
when she.
349
00:13:22.919 --> 00:13:25.559
Was, she was not impressed with her dad at all.
350
00:13:25.820 --> 00:13:28.679
I think boys are a lot easier as teenagers. You
351
00:13:28.700 --> 00:13:31.620
still get that kind of, oh, oh, do I really,
352
00:13:31.659 --> 00:13:34.350
do I have to? And they do walk into things
353
00:13:34.379 --> 00:13:37.259
a lot. He's very gangly. He's forever stubbing his toe.
354
00:13:37.299 --> 00:13:40.419
Yeah. Because they're still not grown into their bodies yet.
355
00:13:40.779 --> 00:13:43.460
Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, he's got no... He.
356
00:13:43.320 --> 00:13:46.940
Doesn't realise that the toes have got bigger, the arms
357
00:13:46.980 --> 00:13:50.320
have got longer, and he's finding it hard to navigate,
358
00:13:50.440 --> 00:13:50.759
you know?
359
00:13:51.460 --> 00:13:52.440
So there's a lot of that.
360
00:13:52.919 --> 00:13:55.480
And you say that it's not that they're not impressed.
361
00:13:55.820 --> 00:13:58.460
Are they impressed by Steve McDonald?
362
00:13:59.480 --> 00:13:59.659
No.
363
00:14:00.480 --> 00:14:00.659
No.
364
00:14:00.960 --> 00:14:04.889
No, they're not interested in it at all. It annoys them, actually.
365
00:14:05.029 --> 00:14:07.090
When we go out, it annoys them. Me and Harry,
366
00:14:07.830 --> 00:14:12.389
my middle boy, we went out to supermarket the other day. And,
367
00:14:12.909 --> 00:14:15.299
of course, people stop and they stare. And, you know,
368
00:14:15.320 --> 00:14:19.100
the usual one is they kind of double take. And
369
00:14:19.159 --> 00:14:22.159
they're wondering whether it's you or not. And they're going,
370
00:14:22.200 --> 00:14:22.480
is it?
371
00:14:22.559 --> 00:14:22.879
Isn't it?
372
00:14:22.960 --> 00:14:23.179
Is it?
373
00:14:23.220 --> 00:14:25.600
Isn't it? They even say it out loud sometimes. No,
374
00:14:25.639 --> 00:14:28.039
it isn't. Yes, it is. No, it isn't. I can
375
00:14:28.059 --> 00:14:29.299
hear you. I'm not dead. I mean, you guys must
376
00:14:29.320 --> 00:14:30.039
get this all the time.
377
00:14:30.919 --> 00:14:33.750
But Harry finds it fascinating and starts to copy them
378
00:14:34.000 --> 00:14:36.750
and like walking around after them doing what they were doing.
379
00:14:36.990 --> 00:14:37.590
What, like them?
380
00:14:38.529 --> 00:14:40.509
Well, yeah, so they can see. He's like, why do
381
00:14:40.529 --> 00:14:43.840
they do this, Dad? And then walk around and look
382
00:14:43.879 --> 00:14:45.720
at you like this. Why do they do that?
383
00:14:45.740 --> 00:14:47.759
So they can hear and they're all terribly embarrassed and
384
00:14:47.799 --> 00:14:48.139
walk away.
385
00:14:48.240 --> 00:14:50.399
He's being defensive. He's being protective of you.
386
00:14:50.419 --> 00:14:51.980
They are very protective of it, yeah.
387
00:14:52.679 --> 00:14:55.379
Yeah, they kind of don't, it doesn't compute for them
388
00:14:55.419 --> 00:14:57.980
like it doesn't compute for me, even after all these years.
389
00:14:58.299 --> 00:15:00.080
I kind of get it, you know, on a kind
390
00:15:00.120 --> 00:15:05.519
of logical level. But I really don't understand it somehow.
391
00:15:05.539 --> 00:15:08.000
There is a level of fame that I think of
392
00:15:08.039 --> 00:15:10.179
being on a soap like Coronation Street for that long
393
00:15:10.600 --> 00:15:12.230
is that everybody knows who you are.
394
00:15:12.259 --> 00:15:12.879
It's sort of like.
395
00:15:13.519 --> 00:15:16.049
you know a few people will say hello to me
396
00:15:16.070 --> 00:15:18.990
and josh because if they watch odd programs and stuff
397
00:15:19.029 --> 00:15:22.490
but everyone knows who's on cory it's crazy it's almost
398
00:15:22.529 --> 00:15:24.129
a bit like being a prime minister like if you're
399
00:15:24.169 --> 00:15:26.190
in one of the prime minister or one of the
400
00:15:26.269 --> 00:15:28.620
like the cabinet offices everyone sort of knows you because
401
00:15:28.629 --> 00:15:30.399
they're always there on the telly every.
402
00:15:30.240 --> 00:15:32.460
Night kind of thing a mate of mine who joined
403
00:15:32.480 --> 00:15:34.460
the show we're doing a lot of films like really
404
00:15:34.539 --> 00:15:36.419
big films and he'd done a lot of drama you
405
00:15:36.440 --> 00:15:38.259
know he was a very well-known actor and he said
406
00:15:38.779 --> 00:15:41.529
god you're when you get recognized all the time in Manchester,
407
00:15:41.549 --> 00:15:43.450
you must do your editing. You must come to London.
408
00:15:43.529 --> 00:15:45.740
It's not as bad there. I don't get any either.
409
00:15:46.120 --> 00:15:48.440
So I said, London's just as bad. I said, listen,
410
00:15:48.480 --> 00:15:52.399
wait until your character's on TV. Sure enough, he was
411
00:15:52.419 --> 00:15:55.019
getting hassled everywhere. I said, that's so, you know, you're
412
00:15:55.080 --> 00:15:56.940
in people's front rooms all the time.
413
00:15:57.429 --> 00:15:59.450
And so your sons would never watch, would they ever
414
00:15:59.470 --> 00:16:02.320
watch Corrie? I mean, I suppose it'd be weird for you.
415
00:16:02.690 --> 00:16:04.279
You don't. Do you ever sit down and watch it?
416
00:16:04.289 --> 00:16:04.809
That'd be weird.
417
00:16:04.830 --> 00:16:05.990
You know what? I don't.
418
00:16:06.389 --> 00:16:09.370
I used to a long time ago because a friend
419
00:16:09.409 --> 00:16:12.809
of mine, or a couple of friends of mine in
420
00:16:13.149 --> 00:16:16.480
the sound department used to set challenges for me saying,
421
00:16:16.500 --> 00:16:19.200
I bet you can't do this. And I'd say, well,
422
00:16:19.220 --> 00:16:21.419
I bet I can. And then I'd see if it's
423
00:16:21.460 --> 00:16:22.539
past the edit and got out.
424
00:16:22.639 --> 00:16:25.470
And it always did. Like what?
425
00:16:25.750 --> 00:16:30.500
Well, for some reason, I started going, ah, before every sentence.
426
00:16:33.940 --> 00:16:35.879
Just for something to do, because after 30 or 30,
427
00:16:35.860 --> 00:16:37.519
you get really bored.
428
00:16:37.539 --> 00:16:41.450
So I was like, ah, I think I'll have a pornography.
429
00:16:41.929 --> 00:16:46.429
So we make coining, we make etch.
430
00:16:46.570 --> 00:16:47.509
God rest his soul.
431
00:16:48.360 --> 00:16:50.580
He said, I bet you can't do an err from
432
00:16:50.639 --> 00:16:52.460
the door all the way to the other side of
433
00:16:52.480 --> 00:16:53.259
the rovers bar.
434
00:16:53.460 --> 00:16:54.779
And I did.
435
00:16:54.799 --> 00:16:58.000
And it went out. Stuff like scratching my bum and
436
00:16:58.019 --> 00:17:00.039
sniffing my fingers, that's gone out as well.
437
00:17:00.120 --> 00:17:00.539
Really?
438
00:17:00.570 --> 00:17:01.090
Amazing.
439
00:17:01.110 --> 00:17:02.269
It just sneaks through the edit.
440
00:17:02.309 --> 00:17:02.710
Yeah, it's great.
441
00:17:02.730 --> 00:17:05.089
And so when you do the err from the door
442
00:17:05.130 --> 00:17:08.470
to the bar, did the director not go, what are
443
00:17:08.490 --> 00:17:08.869
you doing?
444
00:17:09.609 --> 00:17:12.930
Well, more than often, I'm going back quite a few years,
445
00:17:13.049 --> 00:17:14.670
more than often we've kind of been out with the
446
00:17:14.710 --> 00:17:17.700
director the night before, so we'd.
447
00:17:17.660 --> 00:17:21.119
All had such a good laugh, nobody really cared. It
448
00:17:21.140 --> 00:17:23.380
was like, yeah, we're going to do it. But people
449
00:17:23.400 --> 00:17:26.220
seem to like that anyway, so... Yeah, I know.
450
00:17:26.259 --> 00:17:28.299
I think your character sort of gets away with that
451
00:17:28.319 --> 00:17:29.940
a little bit, doesn't he, though? Because he's a bit more,
452
00:17:30.279 --> 00:17:32.299
you know, if he was just if he was to scare,
453
00:17:32.319 --> 00:17:33.960
you know, there's always like a scary one who's going
454
00:17:33.980 --> 00:17:36.529
to be like that, end up killing someone or attacking someone.
455
00:17:36.549 --> 00:17:40.470
If they start going into the bar, it would be.
456
00:17:40.690 --> 00:17:43.609
I seem to really get away, especially when Anchorman came
457
00:17:43.730 --> 00:17:46.150
out and I was like religiously watching The Simpsons.
458
00:17:46.250 --> 00:17:49.630
I was introducing those. I just got away with murder. Yeah.
459
00:17:50.240 --> 00:17:52.940
And it's just made life very, very easy for me
460
00:17:52.960 --> 00:17:54.400
at work.
461
00:17:54.420 --> 00:17:56.240
But I suppose your kids aren't going to watch it.
462
00:17:56.279 --> 00:17:58.859
Not many teenage boys sit down and watch Corrie every night,
463
00:17:58.880 --> 00:17:59.140
do they?
464
00:17:59.920 --> 00:18:01.779
How dare you, Rob? No, they're not into it.
465
00:18:01.789 --> 00:18:03.089
Did you when you were younger? I used to love
466
00:18:03.130 --> 00:18:04.250
EastEnders when I was a teenager.
467
00:18:04.309 --> 00:18:06.490
Rob, it was the biggest thing with teenagers at my
468
00:18:06.529 --> 00:18:07.230
school was Corrie.
469
00:18:07.650 --> 00:18:08.710
Are you joking? Really?
470
00:18:08.789 --> 00:18:09.509
Yeah, of course not.
471
00:18:09.569 --> 00:18:09.769
No.
472
00:18:09.829 --> 00:18:10.390
I'm joking.
473
00:18:12.589 --> 00:18:13.630
I was getting into that.
474
00:18:13.650 --> 00:18:14.430
That was really.
475
00:18:14.710 --> 00:18:16.970
He's like, I'm going to go down to Devon, do
476
00:18:16.990 --> 00:18:17.390
some PAs.
477
00:18:17.410 --> 00:18:19.430
What about Blurby Oasis, mate? It was about Corrie V.
478
00:18:19.470 --> 00:18:25.609
Emmerdale in my school. That was the big rivalry. So,
479
00:18:25.990 --> 00:18:28.119
your boys aren't into it, but we will obviously come
480
00:18:28.150 --> 00:18:30.859
to real-life parenting, but on the Corrie thing, what's it
481
00:18:30.880 --> 00:18:33.440
like acting with the young kids on Corrie?
482
00:18:34.099 --> 00:18:35.019
Well, you know what?
483
00:18:35.119 --> 00:18:38.799
When I was acting with Ellie, Ellie Mulvaney, who plays
484
00:18:38.859 --> 00:18:39.920
my daughter Amy.
485
00:18:40.220 --> 00:18:41.880
She was about eight when she started.
486
00:18:42.740 --> 00:18:47.720
And very, very sweet, very lovely girl, but would bully
487
00:18:47.759 --> 00:18:49.579
me kind of into playing.
488
00:18:49.279 --> 00:18:50.180
With her all the time.
489
00:18:50.759 --> 00:18:52.299
So it's like, right, we're going to do this with
490
00:18:52.339 --> 00:18:54.849
a doll or colouring in or whatever it was. And
491
00:18:54.890 --> 00:18:56.710
I'm like, well, I'm just.
492
00:18:56.589 --> 00:18:58.589
Going to, no, you're not. So we do this, do
493
00:18:58.630 --> 00:19:01.690
that anyway. But she made me want to have a daughter.
494
00:19:02.470 --> 00:19:03.049
Oh, really?
495
00:19:03.369 --> 00:19:05.450
Yeah, because obviously, so.
496
00:19:05.349 --> 00:19:08.130
When a little girl like that plays your daughter for
497
00:19:08.170 --> 00:19:10.119
so long and you watch them grow, you become very
498
00:19:10.160 --> 00:19:10.960
protected of them.
499
00:19:10.980 --> 00:19:13.230
You know, I've known her all my life. I'm like,
500
00:19:13.250 --> 00:19:14.869
you know, her older brother, I guess.
501
00:19:15.329 --> 00:19:17.170
But in the early, because I've always wanted a kid
502
00:19:17.210 --> 00:19:18.970
since I was about 18, really.
503
00:19:18.990 --> 00:19:20.250
I always wanted like a mini me.
504
00:19:21.250 --> 00:19:22.690
And now you've got three of them.
505
00:19:22.930 --> 00:19:25.089
Now I've got three of them. What have I created?
506
00:19:25.150 --> 00:19:30.769
I've created things that should not have been created. But yeah,
507
00:19:30.809 --> 00:19:32.450
she made me want to have a little girl because
508
00:19:32.470 --> 00:19:33.369
she's such a gorgeous.
509
00:19:33.660 --> 00:19:37.440
Cute little thing, you know. And I was like, I
510
00:19:37.460 --> 00:19:38.809
want one of those at home, you know.
511
00:19:39.109 --> 00:19:41.470
So, but you're not going again. Are you done? You're
512
00:19:41.509 --> 00:19:42.950
six-year-old's youngest.
513
00:19:43.049 --> 00:19:45.349
I got the doctors to get his scissors out. Yeah,
514
00:19:45.410 --> 00:19:46.869
three is enough. Did you?
515
00:19:46.890 --> 00:19:49.690
Oh, yeah. Talk us through that. Well, not too.
516
00:19:50.059 --> 00:19:50.420
Not two.
517
00:19:50.539 --> 00:19:51.440
Actually, go for it, yeah.
518
00:19:51.799 --> 00:19:53.299
It was absolutely painless.
519
00:19:53.640 --> 00:19:54.220
Was it?
520
00:19:54.319 --> 00:19:56.960
Apart from the big needle that goes in your plum,
521
00:19:57.019 --> 00:19:57.539
so to speak.
522
00:19:58.390 --> 00:19:59.710
That was a bit of a sting.
523
00:19:59.849 --> 00:20:02.069
They basically, a big needle in the balls.
524
00:20:02.509 --> 00:20:04.250
Big needle in the balls. In the sack or the
525
00:20:04.309 --> 00:20:04.589
actual ball?
526
00:20:04.609 --> 00:20:05.470
In the sack or the testicle.
527
00:20:05.509 --> 00:20:08.789
In the actual, I don't know. Because they won't let
528
00:20:08.809 --> 00:20:11.529
you look, you know? Oh, right. So I've got this.
529
00:20:11.549 --> 00:20:13.089
But you're awake for the whole thing.
530
00:20:13.329 --> 00:20:15.029
Yeah, you're awake for the whole thing, yeah.
531
00:20:15.470 --> 00:20:19.099
But, you know, whatever they put in there, it's so numb,
532
00:20:19.130 --> 00:20:21.900
you can't feel a thing. And then they actually make
533
00:20:21.920 --> 00:20:24.900
the incisions and they kind of cut the tube and
534
00:20:24.960 --> 00:20:28.630
then the, um, they cauterize it and tie them together
535
00:20:29.200 --> 00:20:29.700
and then they.
536
00:20:29.599 --> 00:20:31.700
Sew you all up. But at the head end, there's
537
00:20:31.759 --> 00:20:33.779
a nurse holding my hand.
538
00:20:34.000 --> 00:20:36.759
And she's like talking to me about the Lake District
539
00:20:36.779 --> 00:20:38.779
for some strange reason to try and keep my mind
540
00:20:38.839 --> 00:20:41.880
off things. But she kept looking down the business end
541
00:20:42.000 --> 00:20:45.009
and pulling this face is like disgusting.
542
00:20:45.170 --> 00:20:50.910
I'm going, you are not helping. Stop pulling that face. Well, yeah,
543
00:20:50.950 --> 00:20:52.690
I was fine. I was in a jockstrap for a
544
00:20:52.710 --> 00:20:54.269
week and then I was all right. It's fine.
545
00:20:54.569 --> 00:20:57.990
So is there a six-year, seven-year gap between your middle
546
00:20:58.029 --> 00:20:58.599
and youngest?
547
00:20:59.230 --> 00:20:59.640
The rich, yeah.
548
00:21:00.000 --> 00:21:01.079
Yeah, so how was that?
549
00:21:01.099 --> 00:21:03.279
Because you've basically got all the nappies out the way,
550
00:21:03.339 --> 00:21:05.819
all the baby stuff. You've got proper children that are
551
00:21:05.839 --> 00:21:08.559
at school, and then the little one comes along. Was
552
00:21:08.619 --> 00:21:10.119
it a bit of a shock to the system, or
553
00:21:10.140 --> 00:21:13.130
did you enjoy it more because you were experienced with
554
00:21:13.150 --> 00:21:13.470
the kids?
555
00:21:14.289 --> 00:21:16.490
Well, I think we enjoyed it more, much more. And,
556
00:21:16.509 --> 00:21:18.849
of course, we were a lot older, a bit more sensible, because,
557
00:21:18.890 --> 00:21:20.569
of course, when Alfie was born, it was a bit
558
00:21:20.589 --> 00:21:20.769
of an.
559
00:21:20.769 --> 00:21:22.349
Inconvenience to the social life.
560
00:21:23.109 --> 00:21:25.690
So we didn't really like him for a while.
561
00:21:26.430 --> 00:21:28.319
How old was you when he was born?
562
00:21:29.269 --> 00:21:32.690
Oh crikey what will I have been early 30s early
563
00:21:32.849 --> 00:21:35.210
30s yeah so we were like oh this.
564
00:21:35.150 --> 00:21:37.910
Is like we have to like take care of it
565
00:21:37.950 --> 00:21:42.210
and stuff this is annoying and then of course then
566
00:21:42.230 --> 00:21:43.769
you get used to it and you have you know
567
00:21:43.789 --> 00:21:46.670
you have another one because obviously we wanted him to
568
00:21:46.690 --> 00:21:50.289
have a you know a sibling and of course we
569
00:21:50.549 --> 00:21:52.710
adored him so much we were like we need more
570
00:21:52.750 --> 00:21:57.150
I mean my wife would have about 7,000 children it's
571
00:21:57.210 --> 00:22:01.680
like mother Manchester you know But we missed Alfie.
572
00:22:01.720 --> 00:22:04.450
Well, say we missed Alfie. We haven't thrown him out
573
00:22:04.470 --> 00:22:04.809
just yet.
574
00:22:05.250 --> 00:22:09.150
But because he was getting older, Emma was like, oh,
575
00:22:09.170 --> 00:22:10.430
my God, he's getting so old.
576
00:22:11.049 --> 00:22:15.690
My baby's going. I'm like, he's like nine. So we
577
00:22:15.730 --> 00:22:19.519
had another one. And she, you know, and he was
578
00:22:19.980 --> 00:22:23.670
what a joy. Absolute joy is, yeah. It's great.
579
00:22:23.809 --> 00:22:26.490
When you had Alfie, your eldest, how busy was the
580
00:22:26.529 --> 00:22:29.609
schedule with, like, your filming and stuff? And, like, how
581
00:22:29.650 --> 00:22:32.660
much were you involved? Or did you get paternity leave
582
00:22:32.720 --> 00:22:33.140
on Corrie?
583
00:22:33.160 --> 00:22:33.799
How does it work?
584
00:22:34.539 --> 00:22:37.099
You get a couple of weeks. But you had to
585
00:22:37.140 --> 00:22:39.220
choose that couple of weeks. And I'm like, well, I
586
00:22:39.240 --> 00:22:41.480
don't know when he's going to be born. Yeah. So
587
00:22:41.500 --> 00:22:43.349
I was like, well, and Alfie was two weeks late.
588
00:22:43.390 --> 00:22:44.589
So I think I got a week with him.
589
00:22:45.029 --> 00:22:47.349
Oh, so you just had a week off waiting?
590
00:22:48.029 --> 00:22:50.329
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. So.
591
00:22:51.309 --> 00:22:54.430
But I was working a lot then when Alfie was born.
592
00:22:54.450 --> 00:22:59.930
They were 11-, 12-hour days every day. And for months
593
00:22:59.970 --> 00:23:02.769
and months and years even, I guess. And then the
594
00:23:02.829 --> 00:23:05.579
same with Harry. But with Henry, work had kind of
595
00:23:05.599 --> 00:23:09.960
peaked down a bit. Well, I wasn't heavily storylined as much.
596
00:23:10.279 --> 00:23:12.259
I got to spend a lot more time with Henry.
597
00:23:12.339 --> 00:23:16.539
But also when Henry was born, Emma was quite ill. Afterwards,
598
00:23:17.039 --> 00:23:18.480
she lost a couple of pints of blood.
599
00:23:18.829 --> 00:23:19.160
Oh, no.
600
00:23:20.230 --> 00:23:23.710
So I had Henry from the offset and Henry kind of.
601
00:23:23.730 --> 00:23:25.779
We had one of those cots that attach to your bed.
602
00:23:26.200 --> 00:23:26.619
Yeah, yeah.
603
00:23:26.880 --> 00:23:29.200
So he was with us then and he's been in
604
00:23:29.259 --> 00:23:30.019
our bed ever since.
605
00:23:30.279 --> 00:23:32.039
So is he still in bed with you now?
606
00:23:32.059 --> 00:23:34.420
He always comes in. Always.
607
00:23:35.359 --> 00:23:37.589
Yeah, and he comes in and he goes... Can I
608
00:23:37.609 --> 00:23:39.690
get in here? And we're like, no, Henry. And if
609
00:23:39.779 --> 00:23:42.339
it's like very late, we're like, it's easier just to
610
00:23:42.380 --> 00:23:44.099
let him in. Plus we love having him in.
611
00:23:44.299 --> 00:23:44.720
Yeah.
612
00:23:45.000 --> 00:23:46.279
And is he the youngest, did you say?
613
00:23:46.660 --> 00:23:49.559
He's the youngest, yeah. But Alfie still gets in. And
614
00:23:49.619 --> 00:23:50.700
he's like my size now.
615
00:23:50.859 --> 00:23:51.740
He's just a bloke.
616
00:23:51.779 --> 00:23:54.420
Yeah, he just gets in and he gets in for
617
00:23:54.440 --> 00:23:56.099
a cuddle. And then all three of them, then the
618
00:23:56.119 --> 00:23:58.390
two dogs get in. We actually had to buy a
619
00:23:58.420 --> 00:24:00.269
bigger bed. We were like, we need a bigger bed.
620
00:24:00.809 --> 00:24:02.269
But like jaws of the bedroom.
621
00:24:02.289 --> 00:24:04.490
Because that's the thing is like, you have this thing
622
00:24:04.509 --> 00:24:06.349
where it's like, don't have your children in your bed
623
00:24:06.390 --> 00:24:09.890
because then... But the fact is, most parents, like, I
624
00:24:09.930 --> 00:24:11.349
quite like having them in the bed a bit.
625
00:24:11.589 --> 00:24:12.450
Do you know what I mean?
626
00:24:12.670 --> 00:24:13.789
Yeah, totally.
627
00:24:13.869 --> 00:24:17.309
And I did a bit of research on it. Somebody
628
00:24:17.329 --> 00:24:19.509
had mentioned it and I followed up on what they'd said.
629
00:24:19.549 --> 00:24:21.490
And apparently it's really good for them to be in
630
00:24:21.529 --> 00:24:24.859
the bed, some people say. You know, it has that bond, like,
631
00:24:24.880 --> 00:24:27.079
you know, when you go back to being in caves or,
632
00:24:27.099 --> 00:24:29.380
you know, when we were trees or whatever.
633
00:24:29.900 --> 00:24:32.720
You know, everyone's all huddled together. So it's kind of
634
00:24:32.779 --> 00:24:33.799
normal and natural.
635
00:24:33.819 --> 00:24:34.839
You tell yourself that.
636
00:24:35.509 --> 00:24:38.009
I tell myself that all the time when I'm looking
637
00:24:38.109 --> 00:24:38.670
at my wife going.
638
00:24:38.690 --> 00:24:40.230
Why is there a child in between us?
639
00:24:42.170 --> 00:24:42.910
It's been a week.
640
00:24:44.109 --> 00:24:46.089
Yeah, there was a bump between us. Now there's an
641
00:24:46.150 --> 00:24:47.069
actual thing here.
642
00:24:49.309 --> 00:24:51.750
And what are you like as a parent? You seem
643
00:24:51.829 --> 00:24:53.589
quite like, the way you talk about them, I can
644
00:24:53.630 --> 00:24:56.109
imagine you're quite kind of pally and not, I can't
645
00:24:56.130 --> 00:24:58.920
imagine you as a strong figure of authority, a distant
646
00:24:58.960 --> 00:25:00.200
figure of authority. Is that fair?
647
00:25:00.279 --> 00:25:01.559
I do lay down the law.
648
00:25:01.579 --> 00:25:04.059
You know, we are kind of best friends and everything,
649
00:25:04.119 --> 00:25:07.480
but there is a line that I won't allow to
650
00:25:07.519 --> 00:25:11.009
be crossed, you know, because they do test your boundaries
651
00:25:11.130 --> 00:25:12.829
and I have to pull them up and say, look,
652
00:25:12.890 --> 00:25:16.220
I'm your dad. I'm not your mate. You know, so
653
00:25:16.359 --> 00:25:18.200
don't talk to me like that and this, that and
654
00:25:18.220 --> 00:25:23.380
the other. You know, the afterdo is to talk. But
655
00:25:23.400 --> 00:25:26.880
for most times, we do just laugh a lot.
656
00:25:26.900 --> 00:25:28.920
And, you know, we're a very cuddly house. So we
657
00:25:28.940 --> 00:25:29.559
do cuddle a lot.
658
00:25:29.980 --> 00:25:31.539
What are their sort of hobbies? Because when they get
659
00:25:31.579 --> 00:25:34.460
to that teenage age, they sort of find their group,
660
00:25:34.480 --> 00:25:37.309
whether they're football or they're gaming or right off to rugby.
661
00:25:37.329 --> 00:25:39.269
Have they got things that they do and you have
662
00:25:39.289 --> 00:25:40.180
to become a fan of it?
663
00:25:40.730 --> 00:25:41.869
Yeah, the football mad.
664
00:25:42.190 --> 00:25:44.210
And I'm not a fan of football at all.
665
00:25:45.099 --> 00:25:49.349
Never have been. Oh, that's difficult. Yeah. So all three
666
00:25:49.380 --> 00:25:52.450
of them play. All right. And you live in the.
667
00:25:52.450 --> 00:25:54.529
Main city for football as well.
668
00:25:54.549 --> 00:25:55.450
Yeah, the football mad.
669
00:25:55.509 --> 00:26:00.509
I mean, we got a takeout from a local Italian
670
00:26:01.549 --> 00:26:04.579
last night and Alfie went mad about an hour later saying,
671
00:26:04.599 --> 00:26:06.690
you've got to take me back because Ronaldo had walked in.
672
00:26:07.630 --> 00:26:09.279
I said, well, what do you want me to do?
673
00:26:09.450 --> 00:26:10.799
He said, well, I want you to drop me off.
674
00:26:10.819 --> 00:26:12.700
I'm going to go in and get a picture. I went, no,
675
00:26:12.740 --> 00:26:14.569
you're not. The guy's having his dinner, A.
676
00:26:15.180 --> 00:26:17.980
And B, you'll probably find there's a load of retired
677
00:26:18.000 --> 00:26:20.220
SAS sat around.
678
00:26:20.279 --> 00:26:23.660
People like you, don't go over. I said, no, it's
679
00:26:23.680 --> 00:26:24.319
not happening.
680
00:26:24.519 --> 00:26:26.720
So have you had to get into football then?
681
00:26:27.059 --> 00:26:27.640
Yes.
682
00:26:27.680 --> 00:26:28.720
But you know what?
683
00:26:28.759 --> 00:26:32.160
Because your kids, you know, it's very easy to do.
684
00:26:32.769 --> 00:26:36.130
And they are very, very good. And yeah, I mean,
685
00:26:36.230 --> 00:26:38.289
when it's raining and it's cold, I kind of fake
686
00:26:38.329 --> 00:26:41.059
an injury. I've got a bone in my leg.
687
00:26:41.099 --> 00:26:41.599
I can't go.
688
00:26:41.619 --> 00:26:47.180
But most of the time I'm there. Mummy is very, very,
689
00:26:47.400 --> 00:26:50.059
very much a touchline parent.
690
00:26:50.119 --> 00:26:53.230
Does she shout out stuff?
691
00:26:53.750 --> 00:26:55.670
No, no. That's the one thing we've never done. We
692
00:26:55.690 --> 00:26:59.250
do witness all that. I'm like, well, that's not helping,
693
00:26:59.309 --> 00:27:03.589
is it? Yeah. You know, concentrating for one and two,
694
00:27:04.089 --> 00:27:04.730
just shut up.
695
00:27:05.390 --> 00:27:07.069
Have you ever had to say anything, you know, to
696
00:27:07.089 --> 00:27:08.950
another parent if they've had a go at your kid
697
00:27:08.990 --> 00:27:10.769
or their kid's been a bit aggressive to your kid?
698
00:27:10.789 --> 00:27:11.849
Have you ever had to step in?
699
00:27:11.849 --> 00:27:13.369
Because it must be weird now they're getting, like, to
700
00:27:13.369 --> 00:27:16.029
15 because the kids could beat you up, essentially.
701
00:27:16.690 --> 00:27:17.970
Well, they're massive now, aren't they?
702
00:27:18.410 --> 00:27:20.789
What is it? What is it with this generation of
703
00:27:20.869 --> 00:27:23.470
kids that they're all massive?
704
00:27:24.630 --> 00:27:28.690
It's like Land of the Giants now, isn't it? They're huge.
705
00:27:29.289 --> 00:27:30.630
I don't get it at all.
706
00:27:31.250 --> 00:27:32.890
And they're all working out as well.
707
00:27:33.170 --> 00:27:37.839
Yeah, Alfie's ripped. And it really does my head in.
708
00:27:40.029 --> 00:27:42.960
Even the six-year-old's ripped. He says he's got a two-pack.
709
00:27:42.980 --> 00:27:43.900
Like that.
710
00:27:44.200 --> 00:27:46.640
I've got a two-pack, Daddy. I'm like that, okay.
711
00:27:47.009 --> 00:27:48.529
It does fill me with hope. Like, you're like.
712
00:27:49.099 --> 00:27:50.640
oh, God, I might not have to deal with my
713
00:27:50.660 --> 00:27:53.099
daughter's drinking or something because they'll be too busy, you.
714
00:27:53.039 --> 00:27:54.480
Know, being written to Jim.
715
00:27:54.500 --> 00:27:55.019
Totally, yeah.
716
00:27:55.099 --> 00:27:57.569
Just don't calm down on the protein shakes, love. It's
717
00:27:57.589 --> 00:27:58.150
just too much.
718
00:27:58.170 --> 00:28:02.549
Just stay with two scoops only tonight. Only two scoops
719
00:28:02.589 --> 00:28:02.950
of fuel.
720
00:28:03.089 --> 00:28:04.130
How many apples have you had?
721
00:28:04.430 --> 00:28:05.069
Isn't that two?
722
00:28:05.490 --> 00:28:07.029
That's nearly cider now.
723
00:28:07.759 --> 00:28:09.839
That's eight boiled eggs. You won't shit for a week.
724
00:28:11.980 --> 00:28:15.400
But that's one of the benefits because smoking, drinking is
725
00:28:15.440 --> 00:28:17.220
the furthest thing from there.
726
00:28:17.420 --> 00:28:19.900
What about vaping? Vaping is quite popular teenagers.
727
00:28:19.920 --> 00:28:23.440
That's not massively against it. It's very, very much about
728
00:28:23.480 --> 00:28:27.710
fitness and football. You know, really lucky, really lucky.
729
00:28:27.750 --> 00:28:28.970
I want to try and be like a sort of,
730
00:28:29.190 --> 00:28:32.049
you know, a bit like your parents, Josh, quite relaxed, like, yeah,
731
00:28:32.089 --> 00:28:34.730
we'll find your own way. But if my kids came
732
00:28:34.750 --> 00:28:37.059
home with a vape, I'd launch it. I'd just pick it,
733
00:28:37.119 --> 00:28:39.500
I'd grab it off them and throw it and just
734
00:28:39.519 --> 00:28:40.180
go mental.
735
00:28:40.200 --> 00:28:41.940
But I think it's a bit of an archaic approach.
736
00:28:41.960 --> 00:28:44.299
Would you prefer a cigarette, Rob, to a vape?
737
00:28:45.059 --> 00:28:46.059
I think I'd respect that more.
738
00:28:46.079 --> 00:28:47.539
I mean, I used to smoke.
739
00:28:51.690 --> 00:28:52.390
I used to smoke.
740
00:28:52.410 --> 00:28:54.430
I haven't smoked for like four months and I haven't
741
00:28:54.470 --> 00:28:58.119
drank for longer. And I used to sit there, you know,
742
00:28:58.150 --> 00:28:59.859
with a glass of wine and a fag and be
743
00:28:59.920 --> 00:29:05.579
like that saying, don't ever drink and smoke. I'm going
744
00:29:05.619 --> 00:29:07.059
to have to lead by example here.
745
00:29:07.339 --> 00:29:07.960
Yeah, exactly.
746
00:29:07.980 --> 00:29:09.509
Especially if they're all ripped, they're going to start beating
747
00:29:09.529 --> 00:29:10.009
you up soon.
748
00:29:11.170 --> 00:29:11.910
Well, they already can.
749
00:29:11.930 --> 00:29:13.730
They jump out on me and scare me all the time.
750
00:29:13.750 --> 00:29:16.059
They hide in cupboards and, like, the washbasket and stuff.
751
00:29:16.079 --> 00:29:17.559
Yeah, we used to bully our dad a little bit.
752
00:29:17.579 --> 00:29:19.640
I think when there's three boys, we used to, like,
753
00:29:19.680 --> 00:29:21.400
jump out on him and jump on him and, like...
754
00:29:21.480 --> 00:29:23.160
Because after a while, you do get bigger on him
755
00:29:23.200 --> 00:29:23.839
and stronger on him.
756
00:29:24.380 --> 00:29:24.700
Oh, yeah.
757
00:29:25.140 --> 00:29:26.559
So that's what's happening to you.
758
00:29:26.799 --> 00:29:29.279
I'm just on the cusp at the moment of losing.
759
00:29:29.519 --> 00:29:31.049
So is it just constantly jumping out on you and
760
00:29:31.069 --> 00:29:31.630
things like that?
761
00:29:32.049 --> 00:29:33.109
Yeah, and they sneak in.
762
00:29:33.130 --> 00:29:34.910
They sneak in on their hands and knees into the
763
00:29:34.950 --> 00:29:37.430
bedroom and then they wait for a while and they.
764
00:29:37.369 --> 00:29:38.809
Just jump out from the side of the bed and
765
00:29:38.829 --> 00:29:39.049
you're like.
766
00:29:40.640 --> 00:29:41.119
Like, ah!
767
00:29:41.140 --> 00:29:43.660
Because my daughter does that, and she's tiny. She's three,
768
00:29:43.720 --> 00:29:46.890
but a 15-year-old bloke going, ah!
769
00:29:47.039 --> 00:29:47.339
It's awful.
770
00:29:47.359 --> 00:29:49.519
It's horrible. And if I come out of the bathroom,
771
00:29:49.539 --> 00:29:50.750
they're there like, ah!
772
00:29:50.799 --> 00:29:54.430
I have to go back to the bathroom.
773
00:29:54.450 --> 00:29:54.849
For God's sake!
774
00:29:56.589 --> 00:29:58.430
That's what I was going to ask. So, you know,
775
00:29:58.470 --> 00:30:00.109
your kids are teenage boys. They're not really watching you
776
00:30:00.130 --> 00:30:02.420
on Corrie. How do they feel about you going in
777
00:30:02.480 --> 00:30:05.019
full drag for the show, Queens for the Night?
778
00:30:05.779 --> 00:30:12.079
They've not thanked me for it. We're getting a load
779
00:30:12.119 --> 00:30:15.220
of grief because I'd come second. and I'm a celebrity,
780
00:30:15.259 --> 00:30:17.720
so I was the country's second best celebrity.
781
00:30:18.470 --> 00:30:20.450
All right, so they were getting hammered for that.
782
00:30:20.470 --> 00:30:22.569
They were getting hammered for that, and now I'm going
783
00:30:22.589 --> 00:30:24.349
to be dressed as a woman. Who won? It was
784
00:30:24.369 --> 00:30:24.910
Danny Miller.
785
00:30:25.309 --> 00:30:26.789
Danny Miller won, yeah.
786
00:30:27.029 --> 00:30:28.509
Also, as well, you don't want to lose to another
787
00:30:29.009 --> 00:30:30.490
soap person, do you, really?
788
00:30:30.630 --> 00:30:34.559
Exactly, yeah. So they were like, you don't shoot. LAUGHTER
789
00:30:36.890 --> 00:30:39.130
So what the hell's going to happen this time round?
790
00:30:39.170 --> 00:30:41.309
I've no idea. I've got a pair of boobs on
791
00:30:41.369 --> 00:30:42.529
and a short skirt, you know?
792
00:30:42.569 --> 00:30:43.970
Will you watch it together, do you reckon? Or will
793
00:30:43.990 --> 00:30:45.289
it just be you and your wife and then the
794
00:30:45.329 --> 00:30:46.009
kids will watch it?
795
00:30:46.430 --> 00:30:49.059
I'll be watching it. But with it, of course, it's
796
00:30:49.099 --> 00:30:52.000
Bonfire Night, isn't it? So they'll be out. I mean,
797
00:30:52.059 --> 00:30:53.279
I was going to go with them, but I broke
798
00:30:53.299 --> 00:30:53.900
my leg, you see.
799
00:30:54.059 --> 00:30:55.059
Oh, you broke your leg?
800
00:30:55.359 --> 00:30:59.299
Yeah, man, yeah. How? Literally, I just went over and
801
00:30:59.339 --> 00:31:01.579
it's rolled my ankle outside the back of the house.
802
00:31:02.029 --> 00:31:02.480
No.
803
00:31:02.809 --> 00:31:03.289
You in a cast?
804
00:31:03.309 --> 00:31:03.430
Yeah.
805
00:31:04.930 --> 00:31:07.059
I have, no, I was in a, it was done
806
00:31:07.099 --> 00:31:08.660
in six places, can you believe?
807
00:31:08.680 --> 00:31:09.839
Jesus Christ.
808
00:31:09.859 --> 00:31:09.940
Yeah.
809
00:31:13.339 --> 00:31:15.079
When you was on Corrie, was she doing most of
810
00:31:15.099 --> 00:31:17.039
the sort of childcare then, if your days are that long?
811
00:31:17.059 --> 00:31:19.460
Was it, did you feel a bit guilty at points sometimes?
812
00:31:20.079 --> 00:31:22.960
Yeah, well, Emma had her own company at first. She
813
00:31:23.019 --> 00:31:28.180
folded that when Alfie was born. And so she's only
814
00:31:28.220 --> 00:31:32.140
just started this cafe. Yeah, so 15 years, she's been housewife, you.
815
00:31:32.079 --> 00:31:32.329
Know, mum.
816
00:31:32.480 --> 00:31:32.759
Yeah.
817
00:31:34.000 --> 00:31:36.200
And yeah, I did feel a bit guilty because she's,
818
00:31:36.339 --> 00:31:38.200
you know, it's a long time to be at home
819
00:31:39.049 --> 00:31:40.640
and she was going a bit mad with it.
820
00:31:41.130 --> 00:31:43.789
So were you working literally like 11, 12 hour days,
821
00:31:43.849 --> 00:31:44.569
five days a week?
822
00:31:45.089 --> 00:31:47.609
I mean, it's, I was for a while.
823
00:31:48.529 --> 00:31:51.059
It depends on how many episodes you're in and how
824
00:31:51.079 --> 00:31:52.920
many scenes per episode you're in.
825
00:31:52.960 --> 00:31:55.059
So basically if you're in a big storyline, you're going
826
00:31:55.079 --> 00:31:55.519
to be busy.
827
00:31:55.539 --> 00:31:58.640
And it just so happened that around that time I
828
00:31:58.660 --> 00:32:02.920
was in big storylines. There was a Bichelle, With Kim
829
00:32:02.960 --> 00:32:05.349
Marsh was playing my wife at the time. And then
830
00:32:05.410 --> 00:32:09.150
Kate Kelly was playing my, my girlfriend, which she cheated
831
00:32:09.230 --> 00:32:11.569
on with. And, you know, all this kind of stuff.
832
00:32:11.589 --> 00:32:13.700
So there was a lot of big storylines going on
833
00:32:13.740 --> 00:32:17.220
around that time. But, And, you know, I've gone a
834
00:32:17.240 --> 00:32:22.019
lot older now and a bit plumper. I think they're
835
00:32:22.079 --> 00:32:26.289
focusing on the good-looking lads more than me.
836
00:32:26.490 --> 00:32:28.049
So things have beaten down a bit.
837
00:32:28.309 --> 00:32:30.210
But I think I was kind of destined to be
838
00:32:30.250 --> 00:32:33.069
an actor because everything I watched on TV, I'd be
839
00:32:33.109 --> 00:32:35.690
that person as soon as the programme had finished. So
840
00:32:35.750 --> 00:32:38.150
if Tarzan was on, I was running around in underpants
841
00:32:38.210 --> 00:32:39.849
and my dad's scout knife tucked in it.
842
00:32:39.920 --> 00:32:41.819
I wouldn't cut myself to pieces, I don't know.
843
00:32:42.440 --> 00:32:45.680
If the A-team was on, I'd leave batteries with strings
844
00:32:45.779 --> 00:32:47.539
on on the stairs, going like.
845
00:32:47.579 --> 00:32:50.130
Don't step on that stair, it's a bomb. So all
846
00:32:50.170 --> 00:32:50.829
this stuff.
847
00:32:51.230 --> 00:32:54.609
But I was always playing army. I was always outside me.
848
00:32:54.890 --> 00:32:59.200
I was completely camoed up. You know, in the camouflage gear,
849
00:32:59.279 --> 00:33:01.839
doing garden hopping with a wooden gun. Really?
850
00:33:01.980 --> 00:33:04.500
Yeah, that's what I did every night, yeah. I'm desperate
851
00:33:04.519 --> 00:33:05.299
to be a soldier.
852
00:33:05.319 --> 00:33:05.920
Oh, really?
853
00:33:05.960 --> 00:33:07.519
Yeah, that's what I wanted to be.
854
00:33:07.519 --> 00:33:09.200
Do you think you'd have been a good soldier?
855
00:33:09.220 --> 00:33:11.490
I think I'd have been, I had a lot of practice.
856
00:33:14.819 --> 00:33:16.900
On this show josh um yeah queens for a night
857
00:33:16.960 --> 00:33:20.700
each uh celebrity is given a category within drag so
858
00:33:20.720 --> 00:33:22.960
some are doing lip syncing some are singing some are
859
00:33:23.009 --> 00:33:25.569
doing magic you did a comedy set and it was
860
00:33:25.609 --> 00:33:26.930
really good i don't want to give away too much
861
00:33:26.970 --> 00:33:29.250
but it was really good and really accomplished for someone
862
00:33:29.630 --> 00:33:31.910
that was their first ever gig is there is there
863
00:33:31.930 --> 00:33:34.789
a comedy career in the pipeline as the second part
864
00:33:34.829 --> 00:33:38.460
of simon gregson's career in entertainment well we were.
865
00:33:38.279 --> 00:33:41.319
Thinking about it quite a while ago um i'm very
866
00:33:41.339 --> 00:33:43.099
good friends i've been for a while with a guy
867
00:33:43.140 --> 00:33:44.460
called john maloney.
868
00:33:44.500 --> 00:33:46.779
Yeah, I know John Maloney. Well, yeah, me and him.
869
00:33:46.920 --> 00:33:50.480
Were thinking of doing, well, writing some comedy for me
870
00:33:50.500 --> 00:33:54.130
and then me doing all the comedy clubs in the
871
00:33:54.269 --> 00:33:58.069
UK for charity. Yeah. So I was like, well, that's
872
00:33:58.130 --> 00:33:59.970
a nice thing to fall back on because I'm like,
873
00:33:59.990 --> 00:34:01.829
it's for charity, so people might laugh.
874
00:34:02.430 --> 00:34:05.049
Oh, no, don't do it for charity. Do it for you.
875
00:34:05.150 --> 00:34:08.329
Fuck them and then you'll find out. Do the charity
876
00:34:08.349 --> 00:34:09.809
gig once you've got your gear together.
877
00:34:10.230 --> 00:34:11.909
Yeah, but I've always.
878
00:34:11.670 --> 00:34:15.449
Been very interested in it because, I just love comedy,
879
00:34:15.550 --> 00:34:17.409
you know, and I'm a big fan of you guys
880
00:34:17.489 --> 00:34:21.119
and watch all your stuff and everybody else. And, you know,
881
00:34:21.159 --> 00:34:23.719
I just find it, I just think it's a brilliant,
882
00:34:24.199 --> 00:34:27.139
you know, skill, you know. I just think, but I
883
00:34:27.159 --> 00:34:29.349
can imagine it can be very hard.
884
00:34:29.650 --> 00:34:31.909
I was going to ask as well, what's holidays like
885
00:34:31.949 --> 00:34:33.510
now with teenage boys?
886
00:34:33.829 --> 00:34:34.530
Are they bored?
887
00:34:34.809 --> 00:34:35.989
They don't want to go away with you or are
888
00:34:36.010 --> 00:34:36.769
they still loving it?
889
00:34:37.409 --> 00:34:40.429
No, they love it. We have kind of two separate holidays.
890
00:34:40.489 --> 00:34:43.849
So Emma takes the boys on like, because they love like,
891
00:34:43.889 --> 00:34:45.730
you know, Benidorm and parts of Spain.
892
00:34:46.130 --> 00:34:47.780
Well, I can't go to because it would just be
893
00:34:47.800 --> 00:34:49.119
like a PA. Yeah.
894
00:34:49.139 --> 00:34:50.880
You just have a phone shoved in your face every
895
00:34:50.900 --> 00:34:54.340
two seconds, which has happened. So Emma takes the boys
896
00:34:54.420 --> 00:34:56.539
alone on like for a week on one of those.
897
00:34:56.579 --> 00:34:59.000
And then we go for like 10 days, two weeks
898
00:34:59.099 --> 00:35:00.449
to somewhere nice.
899
00:35:00.889 --> 00:35:01.170
You know?
900
00:35:01.369 --> 00:35:01.630
Yeah.
901
00:35:01.750 --> 00:35:02.949
A bit more quieter.
902
00:35:02.969 --> 00:35:03.050
Yeah.
903
00:35:03.409 --> 00:35:06.130
Well, yeah, money doesn't buy you friends, but it buys
904
00:35:06.150 --> 00:35:07.760
you a better class of enemy kind of thing.
905
00:35:11.619 --> 00:35:14.599
You couldn't survive in Benidorm or like a Brits abroad
906
00:35:14.619 --> 00:35:15.219
place like that.
907
00:35:15.659 --> 00:35:15.960
No.
908
00:35:16.159 --> 00:35:17.900
Yeah, we'll get a villa, basically.
909
00:35:18.159 --> 00:35:19.139
But then that is a bit boring.
910
00:35:19.300 --> 00:35:21.639
They like the hotels and the other kids and all
911
00:35:21.670 --> 00:35:23.409
that kind of stuff in the pool.
912
00:35:23.510 --> 00:35:24.309
As long as they've.
913
00:35:24.170 --> 00:35:26.150
Got a pool and as long as they've got a ball,
914
00:35:26.469 --> 00:35:28.610
they're fine. I mean, when Emma took them last time....
915
00:35:30.380 --> 00:35:31.199
A pool in a pool.
916
00:35:31.219 --> 00:35:35.840
Very much like Steele's, yeah. But yeah, when.
917
00:35:35.739 --> 00:35:40.559
Emma took them, they found like a local five-a-side pitch
918
00:35:40.719 --> 00:35:42.570
and she had to take them every day. In fact,
919
00:35:42.590 --> 00:35:44.360
she had to buy them football boots because that's the
920
00:35:44.429 --> 00:35:45.570
one thing you don't take on holiday.
921
00:35:45.590 --> 00:35:46.389
Oh, really?
922
00:35:46.650 --> 00:35:48.489
You should have just gone to Goals for a week,
923
00:35:48.789 --> 00:35:50.130
the five-a-side place.
924
00:35:50.690 --> 00:35:51.550
Yeah, they'd love it.
925
00:35:52.030 --> 00:35:54.590
So where have they got this from? It's You're not
926
00:35:54.650 --> 00:35:55.829
interested in football at all.
927
00:35:55.889 --> 00:35:59.599
I'm not interested in football. Emma used to play football
928
00:35:59.619 --> 00:36:02.780
when she was a kid. And Emma's dad's massive into football.
929
00:36:03.119 --> 00:36:03.840
Right.
930
00:36:03.900 --> 00:36:05.400
So they may have picked it up that way. And
931
00:36:05.420 --> 00:36:07.699
of course, all the mates at school play football. And
932
00:36:07.719 --> 00:36:10.369
I guess if you start, you become good at something.
933
00:36:10.409 --> 00:36:12.769
You become a bit more popular within your kind of.
934
00:36:13.170 --> 00:36:16.050
And it's your friendship groups all involved, isn't it, in
935
00:36:16.090 --> 00:36:16.769
catch-up with them?
936
00:36:16.789 --> 00:36:16.949
Yeah.
937
00:36:17.150 --> 00:36:19.900
So if they're all playing football on a Sunday, how
938
00:36:20.059 --> 00:36:21.559
are you getting them to all the games?
939
00:36:21.880 --> 00:36:22.599
Is it logistics?
940
00:36:22.639 --> 00:36:24.579
It depends where they go.
941
00:36:24.940 --> 00:36:27.539
We're very, very lucky with them as mum and dad
942
00:36:27.780 --> 00:36:31.070
and their grandparents. When they were a lot younger, they
943
00:36:31.130 --> 00:36:33.230
used to kind of fight over who would look after
944
00:36:33.269 --> 00:36:34.050
them at the weekend.
945
00:36:34.090 --> 00:36:36.829
So we did have our weekend. We're so blessed with
946
00:36:36.869 --> 00:36:37.070
it all.
947
00:36:37.210 --> 00:36:39.219
It's so important to be near people that will help.
948
00:36:39.409 --> 00:36:40.280
Oh, absolutely.
949
00:36:40.530 --> 00:36:43.980
There's no prizes for being so like, I can do
950
00:36:44.039 --> 00:36:46.739
it on my own. You do need help. And if
951
00:36:46.760 --> 00:36:47.800
you can be near people that can help.
952
00:36:47.820 --> 00:36:48.159
Oh, yeah.
953
00:36:48.199 --> 00:36:50.000
I mean, you need a night off, you know, and
954
00:36:50.119 --> 00:36:54.480
you need to recharge the batteries, you know, and sometimes
955
00:36:54.500 --> 00:36:56.820
not get up as early. But, yeah, Emma's dad will
956
00:36:56.840 --> 00:37:00.340
come and pick them up. I'm able to drive now anyway,
957
00:37:00.579 --> 00:37:02.699
so I'll drop them off. But walking across the wet
958
00:37:02.780 --> 00:37:05.960
fields– Is there no note for me? Because if I slip,
959
00:37:06.039 --> 00:37:07.300
I'm going back to square one.
960
00:37:07.940 --> 00:37:10.380
Oh, God. Did they have to write that into Coronation
961
00:37:10.420 --> 00:37:11.570
Street that you broke your leg?
962
00:37:11.590 --> 00:37:12.570
Yeah, they've written it in, yeah.
963
00:37:12.809 --> 00:37:14.090
And did you have to film a scene where you
964
00:37:14.110 --> 00:37:15.989
broke your leg when you've already got a broken leg?
965
00:37:16.070 --> 00:37:19.329
We just kind of spoke about it, you know. It's
966
00:37:19.369 --> 00:37:21.730
kind of like when Bobby Ewing woke up in the shower.
967
00:37:21.989 --> 00:37:24.360
No one cares after five minutes, do they? Yeah. Yeah.
968
00:37:24.960 --> 00:37:26.940
There'd just be one line going, oh, you heard Steve's
969
00:37:26.960 --> 00:37:29.260
broke his leg, blah, blah, blah.
970
00:37:29.300 --> 00:37:31.059
Anyway. And then you wheel in.
971
00:37:31.300 --> 00:37:35.539
Hi, guys. Yeah, it is busy.
972
00:37:35.920 --> 00:37:38.480
I think it's only Tuesday we've got where we're not
973
00:37:38.519 --> 00:37:39.440
taking them to training.
974
00:37:39.820 --> 00:37:40.800
Really? Bloody hell.
975
00:37:40.840 --> 00:37:43.139
Yeah, a lot of training, all separate days. Because they
976
00:37:43.159 --> 00:37:45.329
play for a Saturday and a Sunday team, the two
977
00:37:45.409 --> 00:37:45.789
older boys.
978
00:37:45.969 --> 00:37:46.869
Oh, my God.
979
00:37:47.250 --> 00:37:48.250
Yeah. God.
980
00:37:48.610 --> 00:37:50.590
So that is their life, basically.
981
00:37:51.050 --> 00:37:51.610
Yeah.
982
00:37:51.650 --> 00:37:52.389
Well, not only that.
983
00:37:52.469 --> 00:37:54.230
Yeah, what am I talking about? They play a Saturday
984
00:37:54.309 --> 00:37:56.070
team and a Sunday team. And they play for the
985
00:37:56.110 --> 00:37:57.050
school team, both of them.
986
00:37:58.110 --> 00:38:01.300
You know when Klopp moans about them having to play
987
00:38:02.059 --> 00:38:03.320
three games in two weeks?
988
00:38:03.360 --> 00:38:03.699
He's like.
989
00:38:04.159 --> 00:38:06.400
mate these kids are playing three times a week and
990
00:38:06.440 --> 00:38:07.840
going to school and having to do.
991
00:38:07.780 --> 00:38:10.519
Homework exactly yeah.
992
00:38:10.239 --> 00:38:12.440
And how about in the academic stuff are they sort
993
00:38:12.460 --> 00:38:14.460
of still focusing on that as well as the football.
994
00:38:14.280 --> 00:38:16.469
Yeah Alfie was kind of going a bit by the
995
00:38:16.510 --> 00:38:18.469
wayside because he got it in his head he will
996
00:38:18.510 --> 00:38:20.909
be a footballer one day maybe that was my fault
997
00:38:20.949 --> 00:38:23.389
saying if you if you think it and dream it
998
00:38:23.429 --> 00:38:29.590
big enough it will happen yeah but then I realized
999
00:38:29.610 --> 00:38:32.090
so I said to him look you know um The
1000
00:38:32.130 --> 00:38:34.510
better you are at school, the more they'll like that
1001
00:38:34.550 --> 00:38:37.139
as well because it shows you're dedicated, especially in something
1002
00:38:37.159 --> 00:38:38.099
you're not really bothered.
1003
00:38:38.139 --> 00:38:39.070
You can't be bothered to do it.
1004
00:38:39.119 --> 00:38:42.940
If you show dedication towards it, they'll like that. His
1005
00:38:43.000 --> 00:38:45.719
homework's improved massively since then. Oh, really?
1006
00:38:46.050 --> 00:38:46.659
Good technique.
1007
00:38:47.289 --> 00:38:50.690
And Harry's good in school anyway, so yes.
1008
00:38:51.130 --> 00:38:52.989
Josh, shall we do the final question for Simon?
1009
00:38:53.110 --> 00:38:56.500
It's a classic final question that we always do. So
1010
00:38:56.820 --> 00:38:57.460
it's very simple.
1011
00:38:58.099 --> 00:39:02.010
What one thing does your wife do parenting that annoys you?
1012
00:39:02.070 --> 00:39:05.170
But you haven't said it to her. But were she
1013
00:39:05.190 --> 00:39:07.489
to listen to this podcast? That's a way to communicate it.
1014
00:39:07.949 --> 00:39:10.550
And also as a kind of because we felt that
1015
00:39:10.570 --> 00:39:12.280
was too negative. We realised that two and a half
1016
00:39:12.300 --> 00:39:15.139
years into the podcast. What one thing does she do?
1017
00:39:15.940 --> 00:39:16.780
How would you phrase this.
1018
00:39:16.719 --> 00:39:17.099
Bit, Rob?
1019
00:39:17.360 --> 00:39:20.000
Well, one thing she does that's amazing and that you
1020
00:39:20.019 --> 00:39:22.340
absolutely love, but you don't always tell her how good
1021
00:39:22.360 --> 00:39:22.639
that is.
1022
00:39:23.349 --> 00:39:24.960
But we're really focusing on the first one.
1023
00:39:25.179 --> 00:39:26.000
Yeah.
1024
00:39:26.059 --> 00:39:33.019
LAUGHTER I think the first one.
1025
00:39:34.500 --> 00:39:39.570
Is if I get a bit too shouty with them,
1026
00:39:41.030 --> 00:39:45.070
lose my temper too much, I'm told, you know, just
1027
00:39:45.130 --> 00:39:45.750
calm down a bit.
1028
00:39:45.769 --> 00:39:48.860
And I'm like, but when you lose your temper... there
1029
00:39:48.900 --> 00:39:50.869
are people on the space station that can hear it.
1030
00:39:51.940 --> 00:39:52.300
Yeah.
1031
00:39:52.550 --> 00:39:56.210
It's like, hang on a minute. So there is that.
1032
00:39:56.809 --> 00:39:59.429
But the one thing she does, which is amazing is
1033
00:39:59.550 --> 00:40:02.750
that she never lets them sit still or be bored.
1034
00:40:03.070 --> 00:40:08.199
You know, she'll take them here, there and everywhere. You know, if,
1035
00:40:08.300 --> 00:40:10.360
if it's a school holidays, it's like, they have to
1036
00:40:10.400 --> 00:40:15.110
be doing something every day. And, you know, she, she
1037
00:40:15.349 --> 00:40:18.539
regardless of how tired she is or anything she'll always
1038
00:40:18.599 --> 00:40:19.420
make time and do.
1039
00:40:19.340 --> 00:40:22.340
Something with them you know oh that's nice yeah it's
1040
00:40:22.380 --> 00:40:24.260
good not with me she hates me.
1041
00:40:26.219 --> 00:40:28.329
She's got you making the scones that's the main thing.
1042
00:40:28.260 --> 00:40:29.969
This is it yeah i'm just the guy with the
1043
00:40:29.989 --> 00:40:30.829
flower do you.
1044
00:40:30.750 --> 00:40:31.949
Want to give the do you want to give the
1045
00:40:31.989 --> 00:40:33.949
cafe a shout out so the listeners can come and
1046
00:40:33.969 --> 00:40:34.889
buy a scone.
1047
00:40:34.949 --> 00:40:39.170
Oh yeah go on then morley tea rooms in winslow.
1048
00:40:38.869 --> 00:40:41.409
Morley Tea Rooms in Winslow.
1049
00:40:41.449 --> 00:40:45.190
Yes, very, very nice. Homemade cakes, but the scones are
1050
00:40:45.210 --> 00:40:45.650
the best.
1051
00:40:45.829 --> 00:40:46.329
Thank you.
1052
00:40:47.929 --> 00:40:48.840
Morley's Tea Rooms.
1053
00:40:49.219 --> 00:40:49.500
Brilliant.
1054
00:40:49.519 --> 00:40:49.760
Cheers.
1055
00:40:49.800 --> 00:40:50.239
Thanks, Simon.
1056
00:40:50.260 --> 00:40:50.659
That's amazing.
1057
00:40:50.679 --> 00:40:52.280
It's been an absolute pleasure to talk to you.
1058
00:40:52.559 --> 00:40:54.019
You too, Josh. You too, Rob.
1059
00:40:54.139 --> 00:40:55.820
I can't wait to see the show on Saturday.
1060
00:40:56.179 --> 00:41:01.309
Saturday night, ITV, we get to see Simon Gregson as, what's.
1061
00:41:01.199 --> 00:41:03.369
Your drag name? B.
1062
00:41:03.469 --> 00:41:04.690
Day Bardot.
1063
00:41:05.440 --> 00:41:11.119
B-day bardo obviously cheers that was amazing thanks mate.
1064
00:41:11.119 --> 00:41:12.559
Cheers guys.
1065
00:41:14.619 --> 00:41:17.139
Simon gregson do you know what a lovely bloke i
1066
00:41:17.199 --> 00:41:18.949
never obviously i knew who he was but i never
1067
00:41:19.010 --> 00:41:21.190
met him until that um drag show that we did
1068
00:41:21.289 --> 00:41:24.710
yeah he's such a nice guy he's so funny so
1069
00:41:24.769 --> 00:41:27.329
nice he's brilliant on the show as well and.
1070
00:41:27.289 --> 00:41:29.869
Um Yeah, just a really good person.
1071
00:41:30.150 --> 00:41:32.510
And for someone who's been on telly for 33 years
1072
00:41:32.730 --> 00:41:35.250
and so famous, he's so level-headed.
1073
00:41:35.730 --> 00:41:37.630
How would you feel if your daughters were playing football
1074
00:41:37.650 --> 00:41:40.039
six nights a week, Rob? Would you find it thrilling
1075
00:41:40.179 --> 00:41:41.800
or stressful or both?
1076
00:41:42.139 --> 00:41:44.719
As long as they're enjoying it and they're focused and
1077
00:41:44.739 --> 00:41:47.139
sort of engaged with it, then I don't mind because
1078
00:41:47.260 --> 00:41:49.460
you've got to do something with your time. I mean,
1079
00:41:49.579 --> 00:41:52.130
I was gigging that much when I was becoming a comedian.
1080
00:41:52.329 --> 00:41:54.510
So if you've got a passion for it, I'd much
1081
00:41:54.590 --> 00:41:56.530
rather my kids have a passion for something and we're
1082
00:41:56.550 --> 00:41:57.929
out every night of the week doing it than then
1083
00:41:57.969 --> 00:41:59.469
just sit at home going, I don't know what I
1084
00:41:59.469 --> 00:41:59.829
want to do.
1085
00:41:59.849 --> 00:42:00.869
Yeah. Yeah.
1086
00:42:01.510 --> 00:42:03.840
And also I love, it depends though. Like I love football.
1087
00:42:03.880 --> 00:42:05.280
If it was rugby, I think I'd be livid.
1088
00:42:05.960 --> 00:42:08.320
Oh my God. The thought of six nights of rugby
1089
00:42:08.340 --> 00:42:08.559
a week.
1090
00:42:09.280 --> 00:42:12.280
Luckily, my genes have made sure that that's not going
1091
00:42:12.300 --> 00:42:13.260
to happen with my children.
1092
00:42:13.280 --> 00:42:14.710
My dogs are quite good at swimming, so I'm a
1093
00:42:14.730 --> 00:42:15.590
bit worried about that.
1094
00:42:15.630 --> 00:42:17.530
Swimming's a boring one because you've got to sit in
1095
00:42:17.550 --> 00:42:19.159
a fucking boiling room for all.
1096
00:42:19.730 --> 00:42:20.170
Oh, God.
1097
00:42:20.190 --> 00:42:23.269
Because I don't mind the outside watching the football when
1098
00:42:23.309 --> 00:42:25.670
it's like bad weather because I get quite excited about
1099
00:42:25.690 --> 00:42:26.630
buying the right clothes for it.
1100
00:42:26.949 --> 00:42:27.789
Yeah, yeah, that's nice.
1101
00:42:27.969 --> 00:42:28.750
A nice bit of fresh air.
1102
00:42:28.760 --> 00:42:30.559
I'm always excited I see some park football if I'm
1103
00:42:30.760 --> 00:42:31.980
running past or something.
1104
00:42:32.199 --> 00:42:32.539
Oh, I love it.
1105
00:42:32.559 --> 00:42:34.679
I slow down when I'm driving. I do an extra
1106
00:42:34.719 --> 00:42:36.320
loop when I'm walking the dog if I see some
1107
00:42:36.340 --> 00:42:36.880
park football.
1108
00:42:36.900 --> 00:42:37.199
I love it.
1109
00:42:37.769 --> 00:42:40.349
I always dream of driving past a Sunday league game
1110
00:42:40.389 --> 00:42:41.190
and seeing a goal going.
1111
00:42:41.869 --> 00:42:42.369
Oh, yeah.
1112
00:42:42.630 --> 00:42:43.539
What a thrill that is.
1113
00:42:43.550 --> 00:42:44.260
Never happened.
1114
00:42:44.320 --> 00:42:44.920
Never happened.
1115
00:42:46.360 --> 00:42:50.280
But, yeah, rugby would do my fucking nutting.
1116
00:42:53.590 --> 00:42:56.039
Right, we'll see you on Tuesday. See you on Tuesday. Bye.
1117
00:42:56.130 --> 00:42:56.550
Bye.
1
00:00:03.089 --> 00:00:04.429
Hello, I'm Rob Beckett.
2
00:00:04.610 --> 00:00:05.450
And I'm Josh Willicombe.
3
00:00:05.589 --> 00:00:08.099
Welcome to Parenting Hell, the show in which Josh and
4
00:00:08.179 --> 00:00:10.720
I discuss what it's really like to be a parent,
5
00:00:11.019 --> 00:00:12.619
which I would say can be a little tricky.
6
00:00:21.730 --> 00:00:24.510
So, to make ourselves, and hopefully you, feel better about
7
00:00:24.530 --> 00:00:27.629
the trials and tribulations of modern day parenting, each week
8
00:00:27.750 --> 00:00:30.370
we'll be chatting to a famous parent about how they're coping.
9
00:00:30.670 --> 00:00:32.170
Or hopefully how they're not coping.
10
00:00:32.450 --> 00:00:34.090
And we'll also be hearing from you, the listener, with
11
00:00:34.109 --> 00:00:37.570
your tips, advice and, of course, tales of parenting woe.
12
00:00:37.950 --> 00:00:40.210
Because, let's be honest, there are plenty of times when
13
00:00:40.270 --> 00:00:47.030
none of us know what we're doing. Hello, you're listening
14
00:00:47.079 --> 00:00:48.310
to Parenting Hell with.
15
00:00:48.630 --> 00:00:55.460
Can you say Rob? Becket. And can you say Josh?
16
00:00:57.119 --> 00:00:57.840
Widdicombe.
17
00:00:59.539 --> 00:01:00.039
Widdicombe.
18
00:01:04.120 --> 00:01:05.379
It's the child beatboxing.
19
00:01:05.900 --> 00:01:06.379
I don't know.
20
00:01:06.439 --> 00:01:09.420
It felt like they're using Anton Dubek's Wi-Fi.
21
00:01:14.319 --> 00:01:16.480
I should say about Anton Dubek's Wi-Fi last week.
22
00:01:16.540 --> 00:01:18.939
We try our best to keep the quality as good
23
00:01:18.980 --> 00:01:21.530
as we can, and it's quite difficult to talk about this.
24
00:01:21.560 --> 00:01:23.549
Did you get some complaints about Anton Dubek's Wi-Fi?
25
00:01:23.829 --> 00:01:24.829
No, a couple of people moaned.
26
00:01:24.909 --> 00:01:27.489
But what I would say is when you get anyone
27
00:01:27.510 --> 00:01:30.930
that's off the telly and over 50... you're very much
28
00:01:30.989 --> 00:01:33.250
dealing with an iPad and hope.
29
00:01:33.290 --> 00:01:36.659
Yeah, I mean, he can foxtrot, but he can't use
30
00:01:36.719 --> 00:01:37.959
a dongle, let's be honest.
31
00:01:37.980 --> 00:01:39.079
But that's not just Anton.
32
00:01:39.099 --> 00:01:41.359
That's fine. In general, when you're on the, people on
33
00:01:41.379 --> 00:01:44.560
the telly that are over 50, they don't, they're not
34
00:01:44.599 --> 00:01:46.739
sort of grassroots like we are with.
35
00:01:47.340 --> 00:01:49.599
Setting up our computers ourselves kind of things. Very much
36
00:01:49.799 --> 00:01:50.819
iPad 2. I think it would.
37
00:01:50.700 --> 00:01:54.140
Be off-brand for Anton Dubek to be across modern technology.
38
00:01:54.260 --> 00:01:56.439
Imagine if he had a gaming chair and a big, like,
39
00:01:56.819 --> 00:01:59.140
curved screen, like a Twitch streamer.
40
00:02:02.060 --> 00:02:04.480
But who was that, Josh, introducing us?
41
00:02:05.000 --> 00:02:08.360
Hi, Rob, Josh, and sexy voice Michael. This is Lyra.
42
00:02:08.919 --> 00:02:09.520
Say your names.
43
00:02:09.719 --> 00:02:13.840
Aged 14 months. Big fans of you guys. I listen
44
00:02:13.879 --> 00:02:16.780
weekly to your podcast. Purchased audio books of both your books.
45
00:02:17.219 --> 00:02:19.500
Bought the Parenting Hell signed book and the audio book.
46
00:02:19.530 --> 00:02:20.610
Oh, wow.
47
00:02:20.650 --> 00:02:21.370
Thank you very much.
48
00:02:21.389 --> 00:02:25.469
I'm pretty much keeping you guys in business. Although I
49
00:02:25.930 --> 00:02:29.009
am unwilling to download a second free app to listen
50
00:02:29.050 --> 00:02:29.909
to your podcast.
51
00:02:30.050 --> 00:02:30.650
Is that what she said?
52
00:02:30.689 --> 00:02:32.409
No, I'm joking, obviously.
53
00:02:32.469 --> 00:02:33.009
Oh, yeah.
54
00:02:33.830 --> 00:02:36.060
I forgot about this. Because we announced that we're moving
55
00:02:36.080 --> 00:02:39.680
to Spotify exclusively, which is still free to listen to.
56
00:02:40.060 --> 00:02:42.860
It's completely free. When we announced it, obviously, we were
57
00:02:42.919 --> 00:02:44.900
expecting people to be a little bit confused. But then
58
00:02:44.939 --> 00:02:47.780
we explained that you can still download the podcast for
59
00:02:47.819 --> 00:02:50.219
free and download Spotify for free and listen for free.
60
00:02:51.280 --> 00:02:52.699
There are adverts on Spotify.
61
00:02:52.719 --> 00:02:54.819
Have you outlined the free element of that?
62
00:02:54.979 --> 00:02:58.780
Well, I understood that people would be confused and we
63
00:02:58.840 --> 00:03:00.180
explained it to them and a lot of people were fine.
64
00:03:00.439 --> 00:03:01.819
But the ones I couldn't get my head around, the
65
00:03:01.879 --> 00:03:04.409
ones going, I just don't want another app on my phone.
66
00:03:04.830 --> 00:03:06.569
And I felt like on the list of things I
67
00:03:06.590 --> 00:03:09.370
give a fucking shit about, how many apps someone has
68
00:03:09.430 --> 00:03:11.449
on their phone really isn't one of them.
69
00:03:12.030 --> 00:03:12.629
No, well.
70
00:03:15.060 --> 00:03:16.879
Because you know what? Look, how many apps?
71
00:03:16.960 --> 00:03:19.060
I've got hundreds of fucking apps and I've never thought
72
00:03:19.139 --> 00:03:19.500
about it.
73
00:03:19.520 --> 00:03:22.000
I've got hundreds of fucking shit apps on my phone.
74
00:03:22.240 --> 00:03:25.719
I mean, what even is Stampy UK? That's an app
75
00:03:25.819 --> 00:03:28.240
I downloaded once to work out stamp duty. I'm just
76
00:03:28.280 --> 00:03:29.240
looking at my apps here.
77
00:03:29.780 --> 00:03:32.120
I've got Shopkins Run for the kids when their iPads
78
00:03:32.159 --> 00:03:33.469
run out of battery. Yeah.
79
00:03:33.810 --> 00:03:35.770
What three words? What the fuck is that?
80
00:03:36.150 --> 00:03:40.370
I've got Discord, downloaded it, never used it, but fair enough. Anyway,
81
00:03:40.849 --> 00:03:45.069
the next episode will be only available on Spotify.
82
00:03:45.430 --> 00:03:47.439
Anyway, let me talk about my day. So I've had
83
00:03:47.479 --> 00:03:48.400
a howler of a day.
84
00:03:48.680 --> 00:03:49.020
Go on.
85
00:03:49.439 --> 00:03:53.500
School run, walking to school. we are literally at the
86
00:03:53.539 --> 00:03:56.039
door where they're going. That's sort of the little entrance bit,
87
00:03:56.659 --> 00:03:59.879
massive Fox shit on the floor. I say, don't tread
88
00:03:59.930 --> 00:04:00.250
in that.
89
00:04:00.689 --> 00:04:01.550
A child could.
90
00:04:01.430 --> 00:04:04.930
Never have stepped in it more squarely or full on.
91
00:04:05.590 --> 00:04:07.110
And then she put her foot up.
92
00:04:07.430 --> 00:04:10.770
Absolutely covered in Fox shit.
93
00:04:11.069 --> 00:04:13.250
So then, but then I am thinking, Oh, I had
94
00:04:13.270 --> 00:04:14.719
to go to the, like the teacher at the gate.
95
00:04:14.740 --> 00:04:17.459
I was like, Oh, She's trotting fox poo. I don't
96
00:04:17.480 --> 00:04:18.319
really know what to do.
97
00:04:19.139 --> 00:04:20.439
Obviously, I knew what to do. It was like, you've
98
00:04:20.459 --> 00:04:21.740
got to wash it off. But I was like, I'm
99
00:04:21.779 --> 00:04:22.310
not at home.
100
00:04:22.370 --> 00:04:24.870
And I'm like, I can't just bowl into the school.
101
00:04:25.139 --> 00:04:27.470
You can't take her all the way home, though. Exactly.
102
00:04:27.589 --> 00:04:29.860
So they were like, OK, well, we'll sort it out.
103
00:04:29.870 --> 00:04:30.480
I was like, no, no, no.
104
00:04:30.529 --> 00:04:32.990
I'm not expecting you to clean the shoe. I was
105
00:04:33.009 --> 00:04:35.290
just basically, it was so British. Basically, I should have
106
00:04:35.310 --> 00:04:37.050
just gone, excuse me, can I use your toilet? Because
107
00:04:37.069 --> 00:04:38.089
she's got fox poo on her shoe.
108
00:04:38.189 --> 00:04:38.610
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
109
00:04:38.990 --> 00:04:39.649
And then gone in.
110
00:04:39.910 --> 00:04:43.050
Or just said, can I use the toilet? So I
111
00:04:43.069 --> 00:04:43.889
had to take the shoe off.
112
00:04:43.949 --> 00:04:44.689
I carried her in.
113
00:04:45.680 --> 00:04:49.319
And then I spent 10 minutes cleaning fox poo, and
114
00:04:49.350 --> 00:04:51.589
I'm going to send you the picture out of the shoot.
115
00:04:51.949 --> 00:04:52.569
It's fine, Rob.
116
00:04:52.589 --> 00:04:53.439
No, it was grooved in.
117
00:04:57.850 --> 00:04:58.490
Look at the picture.
118
00:04:58.709 --> 00:05:00.560
I'll put it on Instagram. That is a killer, right?
119
00:05:01.160 --> 00:05:04.079
Oh, game over. Right off the shoe. Right off the shoe.
120
00:05:04.259 --> 00:05:04.680
Well, no.
121
00:05:04.699 --> 00:05:06.600
Where's your daughter at this point? Stood in the toilet
122
00:05:06.639 --> 00:05:06.879
with you?
123
00:05:07.000 --> 00:05:09.240
She's waiting in reception with one shoe on, talking to
124
00:05:09.259 --> 00:05:10.300
the receptionist. Right, yeah.
125
00:05:10.319 --> 00:05:10.519
Okay.
126
00:05:10.660 --> 00:05:12.930
I'm in the toilet, and then I'm like, right, the
127
00:05:12.970 --> 00:05:14.610
only thing in there is toilet tissue, but it hasn't
128
00:05:14.629 --> 00:05:15.029
got a sharp enough.
129
00:05:15.089 --> 00:05:16.079
No, that's not going to do it.
130
00:05:16.389 --> 00:05:18.389
Exactly. It hasn't got a sharp enough edge, has it,
131
00:05:18.410 --> 00:05:19.029
to get in the groove?
132
00:05:19.050 --> 00:05:21.389
Exactly, unless you're willing to put your nails behind the
133
00:05:21.430 --> 00:05:21.970
toilet paper.
134
00:05:21.990 --> 00:05:23.089
Absolutely not.
135
00:05:23.470 --> 00:05:24.620
No, not me.
136
00:05:24.879 --> 00:05:25.560
That is not me.
137
00:05:25.600 --> 00:05:26.300
Not me, sir.
138
00:05:26.339 --> 00:05:26.500
Right.
139
00:05:26.759 --> 00:05:28.279
So what would you do in that situation?
140
00:05:29.660 --> 00:05:32.500
I just think one shoe's fine. What would I do
141
00:05:32.540 --> 00:05:33.459
in that situation?
142
00:05:33.480 --> 00:05:34.879
I'd at least spat my coffee on the table.
143
00:05:34.980 --> 00:05:37.540
I think I would... I think you'd have to go
144
00:05:37.560 --> 00:05:39.560
to the cafeteria and get a knife.
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No. Well, also, now I'm thinking, oh, God, I don't
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want my... daughter to be like getting embarrassed and straight
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you know it's a fur you know it's like she's
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his first year she don't want to be known as fox.
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Poof first day after half term as well.
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00:05:52.850 --> 00:05:55.029
Fox poof and all stuff like that yeah so um.
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00:05:55.009 --> 00:05:57.029
They've come up with something better than that i imagine.
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I went into my pop wallet yeah cut a card.
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No because i didn't want to because i don't want
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to do it on a bank card because i've got
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to touch that and use that i was looking through
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my car and i needed all them cards can i have.
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Another guess Fold a receipt twice so you've got a
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kind of point from the hardness of that receipt.
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Right, that's what I was after. No receipts. Do you
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know what I had in there?
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Not one of our condoms.
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I had my ticket to the UFC.
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Oh, no.
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And that was, I love keeping my tickets when I've
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gone to an event.
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Yeah.
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And then the other one.
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Never look at them ever again, but you do put
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them in a box and then think, one day I'll
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go through.
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And imagine, one day I'll remember all those things.
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One day my children will launch them in a skip
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when I'm dead. Anyway, I thought, I know, I don't want,
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I want to keep the UFC ticket. So I used
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what else.
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I had in there.
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And I'm a bit ashamed of this, Josh.
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No.
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It was a stamp.
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A stamp?
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Not with... Not with the face of our dead monarch.
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Yeah.
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Oh, Rob.
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I know. Oh, no.
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Oh, no.
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It's their face.
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Wait, but Rob.
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What?
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Was the stamp mounted on a piece of card, right?
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So the stamp was mounted on a piece of card.
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Couldn't you just take the stamp off and stick it
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to the UFC ticket?
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I should have done that.
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Oh, no, Rob.
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Rob, you could be hung for treason for this.
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I used a queen's head.
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Okay, well, let's not go too graphic.
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Let's not go too graphic because the Daily Mail will
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jump on this. Sky TV comic in Queen Fox shit shocker.
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No, it'll be Radio 2 host.
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Radio 2 host smears shit on dead monarch face.
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All publicity is good publicity is it though is it
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i had to do it so i had to that's
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all i had but what i should have done is
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peeled lizzie off yeah stuck it to something else and
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then used the mounted bit of card.
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Yeah you should have done that but instead you just
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you just folded the card in two to get a
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tight corner good.
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Edge good and then i and i sort of zoomed
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it around and got it out and then flushed the
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tissue paper and then put the shoe underneath the tap
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great work how about you josh.
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Yeah, well, I think it's time for our guest, Rob.
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I've got anecdotes, but I'm going to save.
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Them for Tuesday.
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Do you want me to redo them on my phone
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as a kind of little taster?
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Okay, cool. Yeah, go on then. Give me the headlines.
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Two rices, end of play.
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Date, packed lunch and top knot. So that's something to
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look forward to. Four anecdotes for Tuesday.
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Wow.
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Joe, I literally didn't care about any of them. But no,
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do you know what? Two Rices got me.
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Yeah, excited about Two Rices.
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Two Rices and Topknot. End of play date and packed lunch.
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I think there needs to be another thing in there.
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Okay. Surprise end to play date.
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I like it.
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Yeah.
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And worrying success of packed lunch. Oh, that's better.
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Yeah.
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Now I'm teased.
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Yeah.
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And I'm going to change the others to the Topknot debate.
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Like it.
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Yep.
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And Two Rice humiliation.
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Oh, isn't that better? We're learning to be broadcasters.
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Live.
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This is exciting, isn't it?
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Yeah, this is it, Rob.
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Well, it's something to look forward to on Tuesday.
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And people at home enjoying our creative process. I'm buzzing.
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Yeah, we're both so excited with that. We're really chuffed
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with ourselves. Basically, you said four things and I thought
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that sounded shit. And then now you've sexed it up. Right,
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our guest this week, Simon Gregson. He's got three children.
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Yeah.
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And he has been Steve McDonald for 20-odd years, hasn't he?
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Yeah, I mean, probably more.
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And also, his first ever thing he's done outside of
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Coronation Street is Queens for the Night, where he does drag,
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a show I'm a judge on. So we'll talk to
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him about that, because that's quite a departure, isn't it,
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to go from Corrie for 25 years, then drag?
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Yes, of course.
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Right, here's Simon Gregson. Please welcome to the podcast, Simon Gregson.
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That is the introduction. Is that all right, Simon?
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That was perfect.
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Because it was correct, wasn't it?
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It was very correct, yeah.
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I can't say nothing about it.
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You can't leave this with the ump after that. There'll
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be other reasons, but not that.
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You set me up for the day. Yeah.
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Where are you today?
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Oh, yeah.
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Where are you at home?
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I'm at home, yeah.
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I've been up quite early helping my wife bake. She's
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just started doing a cafe up the road.
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Doing a cafe?
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Running a cafe?
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Yeah, yeah.
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She's taking over a cafe at Garden Centre. So I'm
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making scones this morning for the first time ever in
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my life.
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Oh, right.
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OK, well, good luck to the people eating those scones.
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Exactly, yeah. We'll be sued by Wednesday.
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Now, Simon, we've met before because you were on Queens
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for the Night, which is on ITV this Saturday, in
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your first sort of performative role outside of.
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Steve Macdonald on Corrie.
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Absolutely right, yeah.
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And so how long have you been Steve McDonald for
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on Corrie?
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33 years.
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Wow.
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33 years.
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And then you've done like a lot of the celebrity
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shows like Catchphrase and Family Fortunes and those sort of things. Yeah.
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00:11:18.190 --> 00:11:21.250
But after 33 years, you've taken on the role as
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a drag queen. So before we get on to the kids,
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I just was so shocked.
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Well, it's a natural transition.
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00:11:27.860 --> 00:11:28.039
Yeah.
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00:11:30.159 --> 00:11:32.519
How was that, the first thing you did outside of
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00:11:32.539 --> 00:11:34.759
Steve McDonald?
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00:11:35.340 --> 00:11:36.570
It was really fun, you know.
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00:11:36.590 --> 00:11:40.750
I mean, my agent, you know, gave me, asked me
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whether I wanted to do it or not.
305
00:11:41.830 --> 00:11:43.299
And I was like, well, yeah, why wouldn't I?
306
00:11:43.629 --> 00:11:45.590
You've got to show you've got range, Rob. This is
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00:11:45.629 --> 00:11:47.149
the opposite of what you've been doing.
308
00:11:47.169 --> 00:11:48.960
Now he's making scones. He's a changed man.
309
00:11:48.980 --> 00:11:52.519
This is it, yeah. I was in my pinny this morning.
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00:11:52.580 --> 00:11:53.320
I've not stopped.
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00:11:55.799 --> 00:11:57.580
So, Steve, anyway, you was brilliant on that. We can
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talk about that a bit more later on. It's on,
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00:12:00.200 --> 00:12:03.600
I think, Saturday night on ITV. But point of the episode,
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00:12:03.860 --> 00:12:05.519
let's talk about your kids. How many kids you got?
315
00:12:05.820 --> 00:12:06.720
What are their ages?
316
00:12:07.559 --> 00:12:11.220
I've got three boys. I've got Alfie's 15. I've got Harry,
317
00:12:11.279 --> 00:12:14.200
who is 13. And I've got Henry, who is six.
318
00:12:14.639 --> 00:12:18.039
They're the most amazing boys. We're so very, very lucky
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00:12:18.059 --> 00:12:19.860
with them. Most of the time.
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Most of the time.
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00:12:21.440 --> 00:12:23.500
They get on really well. There is a lot of
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00:12:23.539 --> 00:12:27.200
testosterone there, so there is a lot of fighting. Not
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00:12:27.240 --> 00:12:29.379
to the point where there's blood drawn or, you know,
324
00:12:29.399 --> 00:12:30.759
they get out swords or anything.
325
00:12:31.279 --> 00:12:34.600
But typical brothers just rolling around and winding each other up.
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00:12:34.679 --> 00:12:38.950
But apart from that. They're great. They're really great. We
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00:12:39.000 --> 00:12:40.450
are blessed with them. They're very good boys.
328
00:12:40.470 --> 00:12:42.870
And you said you're not very good at computers when
329
00:12:42.909 --> 00:12:45.169
we were setting up this Zoom. And I can see
330
00:12:45.389 --> 00:12:47.809
on your Zoom it says Alfie. So you were on
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00:12:47.850 --> 00:12:49.029
your son's laptop.
332
00:12:49.830 --> 00:12:53.450
Yeah, well, it was originally my laptop, but now it's
333
00:12:53.509 --> 00:12:54.929
ended up as Alfie's, like.
334
00:12:54.850 --> 00:12:56.110
Most of the things in the house.
335
00:12:56.649 --> 00:12:59.299
He's got a very small bedroom with all of our
336
00:12:59.320 --> 00:12:59.750
stuff in it.
337
00:12:59.919 --> 00:13:01.240
And how old's Alfie?
338
00:13:01.240 --> 00:13:02.299
15? 15, yeah.
339
00:13:02.559 --> 00:13:05.259
And what's it like with teenagers? Have they hit that
340
00:13:05.279 --> 00:13:06.559
sort of teenage angst yet?
341
00:13:06.580 --> 00:13:06.980
Do they sort of?
342
00:13:07.460 --> 00:13:09.299
Hate you now, or is it a bit not as
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00:13:09.350 --> 00:13:10.909
bad as the people make it out?
344
00:13:11.330 --> 00:13:11.970
You know what?
345
00:13:12.070 --> 00:13:14.889
It's not as bad as people make out with us.
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00:13:15.450 --> 00:13:19.149
I think, because I have a friend who had a
347
00:13:19.169 --> 00:13:22.049
teenage daughter, who obviously she's not a teenager anymore, but
348
00:13:22.500 --> 00:13:23.019
when she.
349
00:13:22.919 --> 00:13:25.559
Was, she was not impressed with her dad at all.
350
00:13:25.820 --> 00:13:28.679
I think boys are a lot easier as teenagers. You
351
00:13:28.700 --> 00:13:31.620
still get that kind of, oh, oh, do I really,
352
00:13:31.659 --> 00:13:34.350
do I have to? And they do walk into things
353
00:13:34.379 --> 00:13:37.259
a lot. He's very gangly. He's forever stubbing his toe.
354
00:13:37.299 --> 00:13:40.419
Yeah. Because they're still not grown into their bodies yet.
355
00:13:40.779 --> 00:13:43.460
Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, he's got no... He.
356
00:13:43.320 --> 00:13:46.940
Doesn't realise that the toes have got bigger, the arms
357
00:13:46.980 --> 00:13:50.320
have got longer, and he's finding it hard to navigate,
358
00:13:50.440 --> 00:13:50.759
you know?
359
00:13:51.460 --> 00:13:52.440
So there's a lot of that.
360
00:13:52.919 --> 00:13:55.480
And you say that it's not that they're not impressed.
361
00:13:55.820 --> 00:13:58.460
Are they impressed by Steve McDonald?
362
00:13:59.480 --> 00:13:59.659
No.
363
00:14:00.480 --> 00:14:00.659
No.
364
00:14:00.960 --> 00:14:04.889
No, they're not interested in it at all. It annoys them, actually.
365
00:14:05.029 --> 00:14:07.090
When we go out, it annoys them. Me and Harry,
366
00:14:07.830 --> 00:14:12.389
my middle boy, we went out to supermarket the other day. And,
367
00:14:12.909 --> 00:14:15.299
of course, people stop and they stare. And, you know,
368
00:14:15.320 --> 00:14:19.100
the usual one is they kind of double take. And
369
00:14:19.159 --> 00:14:22.159
they're wondering whether it's you or not. And they're going,
370
00:14:22.200 --> 00:14:22.480
is it?
371
00:14:22.559 --> 00:14:22.879
Isn't it?
372
00:14:22.960 --> 00:14:23.179
Is it?
373
00:14:23.220 --> 00:14:25.600
Isn't it? They even say it out loud sometimes. No,
374
00:14:25.639 --> 00:14:28.039
it isn't. Yes, it is. No, it isn't. I can
375
00:14:28.059 --> 00:14:29.299
hear you. I'm not dead. I mean, you guys must
376
00:14:29.320 --> 00:14:30.039
get this all the time.
377
00:14:30.919 --> 00:14:33.750
But Harry finds it fascinating and starts to copy them
378
00:14:34.000 --> 00:14:36.750
and like walking around after them doing what they were doing.
379
00:14:36.990 --> 00:14:37.590
What, like them?
380
00:14:38.529 --> 00:14:40.509
Well, yeah, so they can see. He's like, why do
381
00:14:40.529 --> 00:14:43.840
they do this, Dad? And then walk around and look
382
00:14:43.879 --> 00:14:45.720
at you like this. Why do they do that?
383
00:14:45.740 --> 00:14:47.759
So they can hear and they're all terribly embarrassed and
384
00:14:47.799 --> 00:14:48.139
walk away.
385
00:14:48.240 --> 00:14:50.399
He's being defensive. He's being protective of you.
386
00:14:50.419 --> 00:14:51.980
They are very protective of it, yeah.
387
00:14:52.679 --> 00:14:55.379
Yeah, they kind of don't, it doesn't compute for them
388
00:14:55.419 --> 00:14:57.980
like it doesn't compute for me, even after all these years.
389
00:14:58.299 --> 00:15:00.080
I kind of get it, you know, on a kind
390
00:15:00.120 --> 00:15:05.519
of logical level. But I really don't understand it somehow.
391
00:15:05.539 --> 00:15:08.000
There is a level of fame that I think of
392
00:15:08.039 --> 00:15:10.179
being on a soap like Coronation Street for that long
393
00:15:10.600 --> 00:15:12.230
is that everybody knows who you are.
394
00:15:12.259 --> 00:15:12.879
It's sort of like.
395
00:15:13.519 --> 00:15:16.049
you know a few people will say hello to me
396
00:15:16.070 --> 00:15:18.990
and josh because if they watch odd programs and stuff
397
00:15:19.029 --> 00:15:22.490
but everyone knows who's on cory it's crazy it's almost
398
00:15:22.529 --> 00:15:24.129
a bit like being a prime minister like if you're
399
00:15:24.169 --> 00:15:26.190
in one of the prime minister or one of the
400
00:15:26.269 --> 00:15:28.620
like the cabinet offices everyone sort of knows you because
401
00:15:28.629 --> 00:15:30.399
they're always there on the telly every.
402
00:15:30.240 --> 00:15:32.460
Night kind of thing a mate of mine who joined
403
00:15:32.480 --> 00:15:34.460
the show we're doing a lot of films like really
404
00:15:34.539 --> 00:15:36.419
big films and he'd done a lot of drama you
405
00:15:36.440 --> 00:15:38.259
know he was a very well-known actor and he said
406
00:15:38.779 --> 00:15:41.529
god you're when you get recognized all the time in Manchester,
407
00:15:41.549 --> 00:15:43.450
you must do your editing. You must come to London.
408
00:15:43.529 --> 00:15:45.740
It's not as bad there. I don't get any either.
409
00:15:46.120 --> 00:15:48.440
So I said, London's just as bad. I said, listen,
410
00:15:48.480 --> 00:15:52.399
wait until your character's on TV. Sure enough, he was
411
00:15:52.419 --> 00:15:55.019
getting hassled everywhere. I said, that's so, you know, you're
412
00:15:55.080 --> 00:15:56.940
in people's front rooms all the time.
413
00:15:57.429 --> 00:15:59.450
And so your sons would never watch, would they ever
414
00:15:59.470 --> 00:16:02.320
watch Corrie? I mean, I suppose it'd be weird for you.
415
00:16:02.690 --> 00:16:04.279
You don't. Do you ever sit down and watch it?
416
00:16:04.289 --> 00:16:04.809
That'd be weird.
417
00:16:04.830 --> 00:16:05.990
You know what? I don't.
418
00:16:06.389 --> 00:16:09.370
I used to a long time ago because a friend
419
00:16:09.409 --> 00:16:12.809
of mine, or a couple of friends of mine in
420
00:16:13.149 --> 00:16:16.480
the sound department used to set challenges for me saying,
421
00:16:16.500 --> 00:16:19.200
I bet you can't do this. And I'd say, well,
422
00:16:19.220 --> 00:16:21.419
I bet I can. And then I'd see if it's
423
00:16:21.460 --> 00:16:22.539
past the edit and got out.
424
00:16:22.639 --> 00:16:25.470
And it always did. Like what?
425
00:16:25.750 --> 00:16:30.500
Well, for some reason, I started going, ah, before every sentence.
426
00:16:33.940 --> 00:16:35.879
Just for something to do, because after 30 or 30,
427
00:16:35.860 --> 00:16:37.519
you get really bored.
428
00:16:37.539 --> 00:16:41.450
So I was like, ah, I think I'll have a pornography.
429
00:16:41.929 --> 00:16:46.429
So we make coining, we make etch.
430
00:16:46.570 --> 00:16:47.509
God rest his soul.
431
00:16:48.360 --> 00:16:50.580
He said, I bet you can't do an err from
432
00:16:50.639 --> 00:16:52.460
the door all the way to the other side of
433
00:16:52.480 --> 00:16:53.259
the rovers bar.
434
00:16:53.460 --> 00:16:54.779
And I did.
435
00:16:54.799 --> 00:16:58.000
And it went out. Stuff like scratching my bum and
436
00:16:58.019 --> 00:17:00.039
sniffing my fingers, that's gone out as well.
437
00:17:00.120 --> 00:17:00.539
Really?
438
00:17:00.570 --> 00:17:01.090
Amazing.
439
00:17:01.110 --> 00:17:02.269
It just sneaks through the edit.
440
00:17:02.309 --> 00:17:02.710
Yeah, it's great.
441
00:17:02.730 --> 00:17:05.089
And so when you do the err from the door
442
00:17:05.130 --> 00:17:08.470
to the bar, did the director not go, what are
443
00:17:08.490 --> 00:17:08.869
you doing?
444
00:17:09.609 --> 00:17:12.930
Well, more than often, I'm going back quite a few years,
445
00:17:13.049 --> 00:17:14.670
more than often we've kind of been out with the
446
00:17:14.710 --> 00:17:17.700
director the night before, so we'd.
447
00:17:17.660 --> 00:17:21.119
All had such a good laugh, nobody really cared. It
448
00:17:21.140 --> 00:17:23.380
was like, yeah, we're going to do it. But people
449
00:17:23.400 --> 00:17:26.220
seem to like that anyway, so... Yeah, I know.
450
00:17:26.259 --> 00:17:28.299
I think your character sort of gets away with that
451
00:17:28.319 --> 00:17:29.940
a little bit, doesn't he, though? Because he's a bit more,
452
00:17:30.279 --> 00:17:32.299
you know, if he was just if he was to scare,
453
00:17:32.319 --> 00:17:33.960
you know, there's always like a scary one who's going
454
00:17:33.980 --> 00:17:36.529
to be like that, end up killing someone or attacking someone.
455
00:17:36.549 --> 00:17:40.470
If they start going into the bar, it would be.
456
00:17:40.690 --> 00:17:43.609
I seem to really get away, especially when Anchorman came
457
00:17:43.730 --> 00:17:46.150
out and I was like religiously watching The Simpsons.
458
00:17:46.250 --> 00:17:49.630
I was introducing those. I just got away with murder. Yeah.
459
00:17:50.240 --> 00:17:52.940
And it's just made life very, very easy for me
460
00:17:52.960 --> 00:17:54.400
at work.
461
00:17:54.420 --> 00:17:56.240
But I suppose your kids aren't going to watch it.
462
00:17:56.279 --> 00:17:58.859
Not many teenage boys sit down and watch Corrie every night,
463
00:17:58.880 --> 00:17:59.140
do they?
464
00:17:59.920 --> 00:18:01.779
How dare you, Rob? No, they're not into it.
465
00:18:01.789 --> 00:18:03.089
Did you when you were younger? I used to love
466
00:18:03.130 --> 00:18:04.250
EastEnders when I was a teenager.
467
00:18:04.309 --> 00:18:06.490
Rob, it was the biggest thing with teenagers at my
468
00:18:06.529 --> 00:18:07.230
school was Corrie.
469
00:18:07.650 --> 00:18:08.710
Are you joking? Really?
470
00:18:08.789 --> 00:18:09.509
Yeah, of course not.
471
00:18:09.569 --> 00:18:09.769
No.
472
00:18:09.829 --> 00:18:10.390
I'm joking.
473
00:18:12.589 --> 00:18:13.630
I was getting into that.
474
00:18:13.650 --> 00:18:14.430
That was really.
475
00:18:14.710 --> 00:18:16.970
He's like, I'm going to go down to Devon, do
476
00:18:16.990 --> 00:18:17.390
some PAs.
477
00:18:17.410 --> 00:18:19.430
What about Blurby Oasis, mate? It was about Corrie V.
478
00:18:19.470 --> 00:18:25.609
Emmerdale in my school. That was the big rivalry. So,
479
00:18:25.990 --> 00:18:28.119
your boys aren't into it, but we will obviously come
480
00:18:28.150 --> 00:18:30.859
to real-life parenting, but on the Corrie thing, what's it
481
00:18:30.880 --> 00:18:33.440
like acting with the young kids on Corrie?
482
00:18:34.099 --> 00:18:35.019
Well, you know what?
483
00:18:35.119 --> 00:18:38.799
When I was acting with Ellie, Ellie Mulvaney, who plays
484
00:18:38.859 --> 00:18:39.920
my daughter Amy.
485
00:18:40.220 --> 00:18:41.880
She was about eight when she started.
486
00:18:42.740 --> 00:18:47.720
And very, very sweet, very lovely girl, but would bully
487
00:18:47.759 --> 00:18:49.579
me kind of into playing.
488
00:18:49.279 --> 00:18:50.180
With her all the time.
489
00:18:50.759 --> 00:18:52.299
So it's like, right, we're going to do this with
490
00:18:52.339 --> 00:18:54.849
a doll or colouring in or whatever it was. And
491
00:18:54.890 --> 00:18:56.710
I'm like, well, I'm just.
492
00:18:56.589 --> 00:18:58.589
Going to, no, you're not. So we do this, do
493
00:18:58.630 --> 00:19:01.690
that anyway. But she made me want to have a daughter.
494
00:19:02.470 --> 00:19:03.049
Oh, really?
495
00:19:03.369 --> 00:19:05.450
Yeah, because obviously, so.
496
00:19:05.349 --> 00:19:08.130
When a little girl like that plays your daughter for
497
00:19:08.170 --> 00:19:10.119
so long and you watch them grow, you become very
498
00:19:10.160 --> 00:19:10.960
protected of them.
499
00:19:10.980 --> 00:19:13.230
You know, I've known her all my life. I'm like,
500
00:19:13.250 --> 00:19:14.869
you know, her older brother, I guess.
501
00:19:15.329 --> 00:19:17.170
But in the early, because I've always wanted a kid
502
00:19:17.210 --> 00:19:18.970
since I was about 18, really.
503
00:19:18.990 --> 00:19:20.250
I always wanted like a mini me.
504
00:19:21.250 --> 00:19:22.690
And now you've got three of them.
505
00:19:22.930 --> 00:19:25.089
Now I've got three of them. What have I created?
506
00:19:25.150 --> 00:19:30.769
I've created things that should not have been created. But yeah,
507
00:19:30.809 --> 00:19:32.450
she made me want to have a little girl because
508
00:19:32.470 --> 00:19:33.369
she's such a gorgeous.
509
00:19:33.660 --> 00:19:37.440
Cute little thing, you know. And I was like, I
510
00:19:37.460 --> 00:19:38.809
want one of those at home, you know.
511
00:19:39.109 --> 00:19:41.470
So, but you're not going again. Are you done? You're
512
00:19:41.509 --> 00:19:42.950
six-year-old's youngest.
513
00:19:43.049 --> 00:19:45.349
I got the doctors to get his scissors out. Yeah,
514
00:19:45.410 --> 00:19:46.869
three is enough. Did you?
515
00:19:46.890 --> 00:19:49.690
Oh, yeah. Talk us through that. Well, not too.
516
00:19:50.059 --> 00:19:50.420
Not two.
517
00:19:50.539 --> 00:19:51.440
Actually, go for it, yeah.
518
00:19:51.799 --> 00:19:53.299
It was absolutely painless.
519
00:19:53.640 --> 00:19:54.220
Was it?
520
00:19:54.319 --> 00:19:56.960
Apart from the big needle that goes in your plum,
521
00:19:57.019 --> 00:19:57.539
so to speak.
522
00:19:58.390 --> 00:19:59.710
That was a bit of a sting.
523
00:19:59.849 --> 00:20:02.069
They basically, a big needle in the balls.
524
00:20:02.509 --> 00:20:04.250
Big needle in the balls. In the sack or the
525
00:20:04.309 --> 00:20:04.589
actual ball?
526
00:20:04.609 --> 00:20:05.470
In the sack or the testicle.
527
00:20:05.509 --> 00:20:08.789
In the actual, I don't know. Because they won't let
528
00:20:08.809 --> 00:20:11.529
you look, you know? Oh, right. So I've got this.
529
00:20:11.549 --> 00:20:13.089
But you're awake for the whole thing.
530
00:20:13.329 --> 00:20:15.029
Yeah, you're awake for the whole thing, yeah.
531
00:20:15.470 --> 00:20:19.099
But, you know, whatever they put in there, it's so numb,
532
00:20:19.130 --> 00:20:21.900
you can't feel a thing. And then they actually make
533
00:20:21.920 --> 00:20:24.900
the incisions and they kind of cut the tube and
534
00:20:24.960 --> 00:20:28.630
then the, um, they cauterize it and tie them together
535
00:20:29.200 --> 00:20:29.700
and then they.
536
00:20:29.599 --> 00:20:31.700
Sew you all up. But at the head end, there's
537
00:20:31.759 --> 00:20:33.779
a nurse holding my hand.
538
00:20:34.000 --> 00:20:36.759
And she's like talking to me about the Lake District
539
00:20:36.779 --> 00:20:38.779
for some strange reason to try and keep my mind
540
00:20:38.839 --> 00:20:41.880
off things. But she kept looking down the business end
541
00:20:42.000 --> 00:20:45.009
and pulling this face is like disgusting.
542
00:20:45.170 --> 00:20:50.910
I'm going, you are not helping. Stop pulling that face. Well, yeah,
543
00:20:50.950 --> 00:20:52.690
I was fine. I was in a jockstrap for a
544
00:20:52.710 --> 00:20:54.269
week and then I was all right. It's fine.
545
00:20:54.569 --> 00:20:57.990
So is there a six-year, seven-year gap between your middle
546
00:20:58.029 --> 00:20:58.599
and youngest?
547
00:20:59.230 --> 00:20:59.640
The rich, yeah.
548
00:21:00.000 --> 00:21:01.079
Yeah, so how was that?
549
00:21:01.099 --> 00:21:03.279
Because you've basically got all the nappies out the way,
550
00:21:03.339 --> 00:21:05.819
all the baby stuff. You've got proper children that are
551
00:21:05.839 --> 00:21:08.559
at school, and then the little one comes along. Was
552
00:21:08.619 --> 00:21:10.119
it a bit of a shock to the system, or
553
00:21:10.140 --> 00:21:13.130
did you enjoy it more because you were experienced with
554
00:21:13.150 --> 00:21:13.470
the kids?
555
00:21:14.289 --> 00:21:16.490
Well, I think we enjoyed it more, much more. And,
556
00:21:16.509 --> 00:21:18.849
of course, we were a lot older, a bit more sensible, because,
557
00:21:18.890 --> 00:21:20.569
of course, when Alfie was born, it was a bit
558
00:21:20.589 --> 00:21:20.769
of an.
559
00:21:20.769 --> 00:21:22.349
Inconvenience to the social life.
560
00:21:23.109 --> 00:21:25.690
So we didn't really like him for a while.
561
00:21:26.430 --> 00:21:28.319
How old was you when he was born?
562
00:21:29.269 --> 00:21:32.690
Oh crikey what will I have been early 30s early
563
00:21:32.849 --> 00:21:35.210
30s yeah so we were like oh this.
564
00:21:35.150 --> 00:21:37.910
Is like we have to like take care of it
565
00:21:37.950 --> 00:21:42.210
and stuff this is annoying and then of course then
566
00:21:42.230 --> 00:21:43.769
you get used to it and you have you know
567
00:21:43.789 --> 00:21:46.670
you have another one because obviously we wanted him to
568
00:21:46.690 --> 00:21:50.289
have a you know a sibling and of course we
569
00:21:50.549 --> 00:21:52.710
adored him so much we were like we need more
570
00:21:52.750 --> 00:21:57.150
I mean my wife would have about 7,000 children it's
571
00:21:57.210 --> 00:22:01.680
like mother Manchester you know But we missed Alfie.
572
00:22:01.720 --> 00:22:04.450
Well, say we missed Alfie. We haven't thrown him out
573
00:22:04.470 --> 00:22:04.809
just yet.
574
00:22:05.250 --> 00:22:09.150
But because he was getting older, Emma was like, oh,
575
00:22:09.170 --> 00:22:10.430
my God, he's getting so old.
576
00:22:11.049 --> 00:22:15.690
My baby's going. I'm like, he's like nine. So we
577
00:22:15.730 --> 00:22:19.519
had another one. And she, you know, and he was
578
00:22:19.980 --> 00:22:23.670
what a joy. Absolute joy is, yeah. It's great.
579
00:22:23.809 --> 00:22:26.490
When you had Alfie, your eldest, how busy was the
580
00:22:26.529 --> 00:22:29.609
schedule with, like, your filming and stuff? And, like, how
581
00:22:29.650 --> 00:22:32.660
much were you involved? Or did you get paternity leave
582
00:22:32.720 --> 00:22:33.140
on Corrie?
583
00:22:33.160 --> 00:22:33.799
How does it work?
584
00:22:34.539 --> 00:22:37.099
You get a couple of weeks. But you had to
585
00:22:37.140 --> 00:22:39.220
choose that couple of weeks. And I'm like, well, I
586
00:22:39.240 --> 00:22:41.480
don't know when he's going to be born. Yeah. So
587
00:22:41.500 --> 00:22:43.349
I was like, well, and Alfie was two weeks late.
588
00:22:43.390 --> 00:22:44.589
So I think I got a week with him.
589
00:22:45.029 --> 00:22:47.349
Oh, so you just had a week off waiting?
590
00:22:48.029 --> 00:22:50.329
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. So.
591
00:22:51.309 --> 00:22:54.430
But I was working a lot then when Alfie was born.
592
00:22:54.450 --> 00:22:59.930
They were 11-, 12-hour days every day. And for months
593
00:22:59.970 --> 00:23:02.769
and months and years even, I guess. And then the
594
00:23:02.829 --> 00:23:05.579
same with Harry. But with Henry, work had kind of
595
00:23:05.599 --> 00:23:09.960
peaked down a bit. Well, I wasn't heavily storylined as much.
596
00:23:10.279 --> 00:23:12.259
I got to spend a lot more time with Henry.
597
00:23:12.339 --> 00:23:16.539
But also when Henry was born, Emma was quite ill. Afterwards,
598
00:23:17.039 --> 00:23:18.480
she lost a couple of pints of blood.
599
00:23:18.829 --> 00:23:19.160
Oh, no.
600
00:23:20.230 --> 00:23:23.710
So I had Henry from the offset and Henry kind of.
601
00:23:23.730 --> 00:23:25.779
We had one of those cots that attach to your bed.
602
00:23:26.200 --> 00:23:26.619
Yeah, yeah.
603
00:23:26.880 --> 00:23:29.200
So he was with us then and he's been in
604
00:23:29.259 --> 00:23:30.019
our bed ever since.
605
00:23:30.279 --> 00:23:32.039
So is he still in bed with you now?
606
00:23:32.059 --> 00:23:34.420
He always comes in. Always.
607
00:23:35.359 --> 00:23:37.589
Yeah, and he comes in and he goes... Can I
608
00:23:37.609 --> 00:23:39.690
get in here? And we're like, no, Henry. And if
609
00:23:39.779 --> 00:23:42.339
it's like very late, we're like, it's easier just to
610
00:23:42.380 --> 00:23:44.099
let him in. Plus we love having him in.
611
00:23:44.299 --> 00:23:44.720
Yeah.
612
00:23:45.000 --> 00:23:46.279
And is he the youngest, did you say?
613
00:23:46.660 --> 00:23:49.559
He's the youngest, yeah. But Alfie still gets in. And
614
00:23:49.619 --> 00:23:50.700
he's like my size now.
615
00:23:50.859 --> 00:23:51.740
He's just a bloke.
616
00:23:51.779 --> 00:23:54.420
Yeah, he just gets in and he gets in for
617
00:23:54.440 --> 00:23:56.099
a cuddle. And then all three of them, then the
618
00:23:56.119 --> 00:23:58.390
two dogs get in. We actually had to buy a
619
00:23:58.420 --> 00:24:00.269
bigger bed. We were like, we need a bigger bed.
620
00:24:00.809 --> 00:24:02.269
But like jaws of the bedroom.
621
00:24:02.289 --> 00:24:04.490
Because that's the thing is like, you have this thing
622
00:24:04.509 --> 00:24:06.349
where it's like, don't have your children in your bed
623
00:24:06.390 --> 00:24:09.890
because then... But the fact is, most parents, like, I
624
00:24:09.930 --> 00:24:11.349
quite like having them in the bed a bit.
625
00:24:11.589 --> 00:24:12.450
Do you know what I mean?
626
00:24:12.670 --> 00:24:13.789
Yeah, totally.
627
00:24:13.869 --> 00:24:17.309
And I did a bit of research on it. Somebody
628
00:24:17.329 --> 00:24:19.509
had mentioned it and I followed up on what they'd said.
629
00:24:19.549 --> 00:24:21.490
And apparently it's really good for them to be in
630
00:24:21.529 --> 00:24:24.859
the bed, some people say. You know, it has that bond, like,
631
00:24:24.880 --> 00:24:27.079
you know, when you go back to being in caves or,
632
00:24:27.099 --> 00:24:29.380
you know, when we were trees or whatever.
633
00:24:29.900 --> 00:24:32.720
You know, everyone's all huddled together. So it's kind of
634
00:24:32.779 --> 00:24:33.799
normal and natural.
635
00:24:33.819 --> 00:24:34.839
You tell yourself that.
636
00:24:35.509 --> 00:24:38.009
I tell myself that all the time when I'm looking
637
00:24:38.109 --> 00:24:38.670
at my wife going.
638
00:24:38.690 --> 00:24:40.230
Why is there a child in between us?
639
00:24:42.170 --> 00:24:42.910
It's been a week.
640
00:24:44.109 --> 00:24:46.089
Yeah, there was a bump between us. Now there's an
641
00:24:46.150 --> 00:24:47.069
actual thing here.
642
00:24:49.309 --> 00:24:51.750
And what are you like as a parent? You seem
643
00:24:51.829 --> 00:24:53.589
quite like, the way you talk about them, I can
644
00:24:53.630 --> 00:24:56.109
imagine you're quite kind of pally and not, I can't
645
00:24:56.130 --> 00:24:58.920
imagine you as a strong figure of authority, a distant
646
00:24:58.960 --> 00:25:00.200
figure of authority. Is that fair?
647
00:25:00.279 --> 00:25:01.559
I do lay down the law.
648
00:25:01.579 --> 00:25:04.059
You know, we are kind of best friends and everything,
649
00:25:04.119 --> 00:25:07.480
but there is a line that I won't allow to
650
00:25:07.519 --> 00:25:11.009
be crossed, you know, because they do test your boundaries
651
00:25:11.130 --> 00:25:12.829
and I have to pull them up and say, look,
652
00:25:12.890 --> 00:25:16.220
I'm your dad. I'm not your mate. You know, so
653
00:25:16.359 --> 00:25:18.200
don't talk to me like that and this, that and
654
00:25:18.220 --> 00:25:23.380
the other. You know, the afterdo is to talk. But
655
00:25:23.400 --> 00:25:26.880
for most times, we do just laugh a lot.
656
00:25:26.900 --> 00:25:28.920
And, you know, we're a very cuddly house. So we
657
00:25:28.940 --> 00:25:29.559
do cuddle a lot.
658
00:25:29.980 --> 00:25:31.539
What are their sort of hobbies? Because when they get
659
00:25:31.579 --> 00:25:34.460
to that teenage age, they sort of find their group,
660
00:25:34.480 --> 00:25:37.309
whether they're football or they're gaming or right off to rugby.
661
00:25:37.329 --> 00:25:39.269
Have they got things that they do and you have
662
00:25:39.289 --> 00:25:40.180
to become a fan of it?
663
00:25:40.730 --> 00:25:41.869
Yeah, the football mad.
664
00:25:42.190 --> 00:25:44.210
And I'm not a fan of football at all.
665
00:25:45.099 --> 00:25:49.349
Never have been. Oh, that's difficult. Yeah. So all three
666
00:25:49.380 --> 00:25:52.450
of them play. All right. And you live in the.
667
00:25:52.450 --> 00:25:54.529
Main city for football as well.
668
00:25:54.549 --> 00:25:55.450
Yeah, the football mad.
669
00:25:55.509 --> 00:26:00.509
I mean, we got a takeout from a local Italian
670
00:26:01.549 --> 00:26:04.579
last night and Alfie went mad about an hour later saying,
671
00:26:04.599 --> 00:26:06.690
you've got to take me back because Ronaldo had walked in.
672
00:26:07.630 --> 00:26:09.279
I said, well, what do you want me to do?
673
00:26:09.450 --> 00:26:10.799
He said, well, I want you to drop me off.
674
00:26:10.819 --> 00:26:12.700
I'm going to go in and get a picture. I went, no,
675
00:26:12.740 --> 00:26:14.569
you're not. The guy's having his dinner, A.
676
00:26:15.180 --> 00:26:17.980
And B, you'll probably find there's a load of retired
677
00:26:18.000 --> 00:26:20.220
SAS sat around.
678
00:26:20.279 --> 00:26:23.660
People like you, don't go over. I said, no, it's
679
00:26:23.680 --> 00:26:24.319
not happening.
680
00:26:24.519 --> 00:26:26.720
So have you had to get into football then?
681
00:26:27.059 --> 00:26:27.640
Yes.
682
00:26:27.680 --> 00:26:28.720
But you know what?
683
00:26:28.759 --> 00:26:32.160
Because your kids, you know, it's very easy to do.
684
00:26:32.769 --> 00:26:36.130
And they are very, very good. And yeah, I mean,
685
00:26:36.230 --> 00:26:38.289
when it's raining and it's cold, I kind of fake
686
00:26:38.329 --> 00:26:41.059
an injury. I've got a bone in my leg.
687
00:26:41.099 --> 00:26:41.599
I can't go.
688
00:26:41.619 --> 00:26:47.180
But most of the time I'm there. Mummy is very, very,
689
00:26:47.400 --> 00:26:50.059
very much a touchline parent.
690
00:26:50.119 --> 00:26:53.230
Does she shout out stuff?
691
00:26:53.750 --> 00:26:55.670
No, no. That's the one thing we've never done. We
692
00:26:55.690 --> 00:26:59.250
do witness all that. I'm like, well, that's not helping,
693
00:26:59.309 --> 00:27:03.589
is it? Yeah. You know, concentrating for one and two,
694
00:27:04.089 --> 00:27:04.730
just shut up.
695
00:27:05.390 --> 00:27:07.069
Have you ever had to say anything, you know, to
696
00:27:07.089 --> 00:27:08.950
another parent if they've had a go at your kid
697
00:27:08.990 --> 00:27:10.769
or their kid's been a bit aggressive to your kid?
698
00:27:10.789 --> 00:27:11.849
Have you ever had to step in?
699
00:27:11.849 --> 00:27:13.369
Because it must be weird now they're getting, like, to
700
00:27:13.369 --> 00:27:16.029
15 because the kids could beat you up, essentially.
701
00:27:16.690 --> 00:27:17.970
Well, they're massive now, aren't they?
702
00:27:18.410 --> 00:27:20.789
What is it? What is it with this generation of
703
00:27:20.869 --> 00:27:23.470
kids that they're all massive?
704
00:27:24.630 --> 00:27:28.690
It's like Land of the Giants now, isn't it? They're huge.
705
00:27:29.289 --> 00:27:30.630
I don't get it at all.
706
00:27:31.250 --> 00:27:32.890
And they're all working out as well.
707
00:27:33.170 --> 00:27:37.839
Yeah, Alfie's ripped. And it really does my head in.
708
00:27:40.029 --> 00:27:42.960
Even the six-year-old's ripped. He says he's got a two-pack.
709
00:27:42.980 --> 00:27:43.900
Like that.
710
00:27:44.200 --> 00:27:46.640
I've got a two-pack, Daddy. I'm like that, okay.
711
00:27:47.009 --> 00:27:48.529
It does fill me with hope. Like, you're like.
712
00:27:49.099 --> 00:27:50.640
oh, God, I might not have to deal with my
713
00:27:50.660 --> 00:27:53.099
daughter's drinking or something because they'll be too busy, you.
714
00:27:53.039 --> 00:27:54.480
Know, being written to Jim.
715
00:27:54.500 --> 00:27:55.019
Totally, yeah.
716
00:27:55.099 --> 00:27:57.569
Just don't calm down on the protein shakes, love. It's
717
00:27:57.589 --> 00:27:58.150
just too much.
718
00:27:58.170 --> 00:28:02.549
Just stay with two scoops only tonight. Only two scoops
719
00:28:02.589 --> 00:28:02.950
of fuel.
720
00:28:03.089 --> 00:28:04.130
How many apples have you had?
721
00:28:04.430 --> 00:28:05.069
Isn't that two?
722
00:28:05.490 --> 00:28:07.029
That's nearly cider now.
723
00:28:07.759 --> 00:28:09.839
That's eight boiled eggs. You won't shit for a week.
724
00:28:11.980 --> 00:28:15.400
But that's one of the benefits because smoking, drinking is
725
00:28:15.440 --> 00:28:17.220
the furthest thing from there.
726
00:28:17.420 --> 00:28:19.900
What about vaping? Vaping is quite popular teenagers.
727
00:28:19.920 --> 00:28:23.440
That's not massively against it. It's very, very much about
728
00:28:23.480 --> 00:28:27.710
fitness and football. You know, really lucky, really lucky.
729
00:28:27.750 --> 00:28:28.970
I want to try and be like a sort of,
730
00:28:29.190 --> 00:28:32.049
you know, a bit like your parents, Josh, quite relaxed, like, yeah,
731
00:28:32.089 --> 00:28:34.730
we'll find your own way. But if my kids came
732
00:28:34.750 --> 00:28:37.059
home with a vape, I'd launch it. I'd just pick it,
733
00:28:37.119 --> 00:28:39.500
I'd grab it off them and throw it and just
734
00:28:39.519 --> 00:28:40.180
go mental.
735
00:28:40.200 --> 00:28:41.940
But I think it's a bit of an archaic approach.
736
00:28:41.960 --> 00:28:44.299
Would you prefer a cigarette, Rob, to a vape?
737
00:28:45.059 --> 00:28:46.059
I think I'd respect that more.
738
00:28:46.079 --> 00:28:47.539
I mean, I used to smoke.
739
00:28:51.690 --> 00:28:52.390
I used to smoke.
740
00:28:52.410 --> 00:28:54.430
I haven't smoked for like four months and I haven't
741
00:28:54.470 --> 00:28:58.119
drank for longer. And I used to sit there, you know,
742
00:28:58.150 --> 00:28:59.859
with a glass of wine and a fag and be
743
00:28:59.920 --> 00:29:05.579
like that saying, don't ever drink and smoke. I'm going
744
00:29:05.619 --> 00:29:07.059
to have to lead by example here.
745
00:29:07.339 --> 00:29:07.960
Yeah, exactly.
746
00:29:07.980 --> 00:29:09.509
Especially if they're all ripped, they're going to start beating
747
00:29:09.529 --> 00:29:10.009
you up soon.
748
00:29:11.170 --> 00:29:11.910
Well, they already can.
749
00:29:11.930 --> 00:29:13.730
They jump out on me and scare me all the time.
750
00:29:13.750 --> 00:29:16.059
They hide in cupboards and, like, the washbasket and stuff.
751
00:29:16.079 --> 00:29:17.559
Yeah, we used to bully our dad a little bit.
752
00:29:17.579 --> 00:29:19.640
I think when there's three boys, we used to, like,
753
00:29:19.680 --> 00:29:21.400
jump out on him and jump on him and, like...
754
00:29:21.480 --> 00:29:23.160
Because after a while, you do get bigger on him
755
00:29:23.200 --> 00:29:23.839
and stronger on him.
756
00:29:24.380 --> 00:29:24.700
Oh, yeah.
757
00:29:25.140 --> 00:29:26.559
So that's what's happening to you.
758
00:29:26.799 --> 00:29:29.279
I'm just on the cusp at the moment of losing.
759
00:29:29.519 --> 00:29:31.049
So is it just constantly jumping out on you and
760
00:29:31.069 --> 00:29:31.630
things like that?
761
00:29:32.049 --> 00:29:33.109
Yeah, and they sneak in.
762
00:29:33.130 --> 00:29:34.910
They sneak in on their hands and knees into the
763
00:29:34.950 --> 00:29:37.430
bedroom and then they wait for a while and they.
764
00:29:37.369 --> 00:29:38.809
Just jump out from the side of the bed and
765
00:29:38.829 --> 00:29:39.049
you're like.
766
00:29:40.640 --> 00:29:41.119
Like, ah!
767
00:29:41.140 --> 00:29:43.660
Because my daughter does that, and she's tiny. She's three,
768
00:29:43.720 --> 00:29:46.890
but a 15-year-old bloke going, ah!
769
00:29:47.039 --> 00:29:47.339
It's awful.
770
00:29:47.359 --> 00:29:49.519
It's horrible. And if I come out of the bathroom,
771
00:29:49.539 --> 00:29:50.750
they're there like, ah!
772
00:29:50.799 --> 00:29:54.430
I have to go back to the bathroom.
773
00:29:54.450 --> 00:29:54.849
For God's sake!
774
00:29:56.589 --> 00:29:58.430
That's what I was going to ask. So, you know,
775
00:29:58.470 --> 00:30:00.109
your kids are teenage boys. They're not really watching you
776
00:30:00.130 --> 00:30:02.420
on Corrie. How do they feel about you going in
777
00:30:02.480 --> 00:30:05.019
full drag for the show, Queens for the Night?
778
00:30:05.779 --> 00:30:12.079
They've not thanked me for it. We're getting a load
779
00:30:12.119 --> 00:30:15.220
of grief because I'd come second. and I'm a celebrity,
780
00:30:15.259 --> 00:30:17.720
so I was the country's second best celebrity.
781
00:30:18.470 --> 00:30:20.450
All right, so they were getting hammered for that.
782
00:30:20.470 --> 00:30:22.569
They were getting hammered for that, and now I'm going
783
00:30:22.589 --> 00:30:24.349
to be dressed as a woman. Who won? It was
784
00:30:24.369 --> 00:30:24.910
Danny Miller.
785
00:30:25.309 --> 00:30:26.789
Danny Miller won, yeah.
786
00:30:27.029 --> 00:30:28.509
Also, as well, you don't want to lose to another
787
00:30:29.009 --> 00:30:30.490
soap person, do you, really?
788
00:30:30.630 --> 00:30:34.559
Exactly, yeah. So they were like, you don't shoot. LAUGHTER
789
00:30:36.890 --> 00:30:39.130
So what the hell's going to happen this time round?
790
00:30:39.170 --> 00:30:41.309
I've no idea. I've got a pair of boobs on
791
00:30:41.369 --> 00:30:42.529
and a short skirt, you know?
792
00:30:42.569 --> 00:30:43.970
Will you watch it together, do you reckon? Or will
793
00:30:43.990 --> 00:30:45.289
it just be you and your wife and then the
794
00:30:45.329 --> 00:30:46.009
kids will watch it?
795
00:30:46.430 --> 00:30:49.059
I'll be watching it. But with it, of course, it's
796
00:30:49.099 --> 00:30:52.000
Bonfire Night, isn't it? So they'll be out. I mean,
797
00:30:52.059 --> 00:30:53.279
I was going to go with them, but I broke
798
00:30:53.299 --> 00:30:53.900
my leg, you see.
799
00:30:54.059 --> 00:30:55.059
Oh, you broke your leg?
800
00:30:55.359 --> 00:30:59.299
Yeah, man, yeah. How? Literally, I just went over and
801
00:30:59.339 --> 00:31:01.579
it's rolled my ankle outside the back of the house.
802
00:31:02.029 --> 00:31:02.480
No.
803
00:31:02.809 --> 00:31:03.289
You in a cast?
804
00:31:03.309 --> 00:31:03.430
Yeah.
805
00:31:04.930 --> 00:31:07.059
I have, no, I was in a, it was done
806
00:31:07.099 --> 00:31:08.660
in six places, can you believe?
807
00:31:08.680 --> 00:31:09.839
Jesus Christ.
808
00:31:09.859 --> 00:31:09.940
Yeah.
809
00:31:13.339 --> 00:31:15.079
When you was on Corrie, was she doing most of
810
00:31:15.099 --> 00:31:17.039
the sort of childcare then, if your days are that long?
811
00:31:17.059 --> 00:31:19.460
Was it, did you feel a bit guilty at points sometimes?
812
00:31:20.079 --> 00:31:22.960
Yeah, well, Emma had her own company at first. She
813
00:31:23.019 --> 00:31:28.180
folded that when Alfie was born. And so she's only
814
00:31:28.220 --> 00:31:32.140
just started this cafe. Yeah, so 15 years, she's been housewife, you.
815
00:31:32.079 --> 00:31:32.329
Know, mum.
816
00:31:32.480 --> 00:31:32.759
Yeah.
817
00:31:34.000 --> 00:31:36.200
And yeah, I did feel a bit guilty because she's,
818
00:31:36.339 --> 00:31:38.200
you know, it's a long time to be at home
819
00:31:39.049 --> 00:31:40.640
and she was going a bit mad with it.
820
00:31:41.130 --> 00:31:43.789
So were you working literally like 11, 12 hour days,
821
00:31:43.849 --> 00:31:44.569
five days a week?
822
00:31:45.089 --> 00:31:47.609
I mean, it's, I was for a while.
823
00:31:48.529 --> 00:31:51.059
It depends on how many episodes you're in and how
824
00:31:51.079 --> 00:31:52.920
many scenes per episode you're in.
825
00:31:52.960 --> 00:31:55.059
So basically if you're in a big storyline, you're going
826
00:31:55.079 --> 00:31:55.519
to be busy.
827
00:31:55.539 --> 00:31:58.640
And it just so happened that around that time I
828
00:31:58.660 --> 00:32:02.920
was in big storylines. There was a Bichelle, With Kim
829
00:32:02.960 --> 00:32:05.349
Marsh was playing my wife at the time. And then
830
00:32:05.410 --> 00:32:09.150
Kate Kelly was playing my, my girlfriend, which she cheated
831
00:32:09.230 --> 00:32:11.569
on with. And, you know, all this kind of stuff.
832
00:32:11.589 --> 00:32:13.700
So there was a lot of big storylines going on
833
00:32:13.740 --> 00:32:17.220
around that time. But, And, you know, I've gone a
834
00:32:17.240 --> 00:32:22.019
lot older now and a bit plumper. I think they're
835
00:32:22.079 --> 00:32:26.289
focusing on the good-looking lads more than me.
836
00:32:26.490 --> 00:32:28.049
So things have beaten down a bit.
837
00:32:28.309 --> 00:32:30.210
But I think I was kind of destined to be
838
00:32:30.250 --> 00:32:33.069
an actor because everything I watched on TV, I'd be
839
00:32:33.109 --> 00:32:35.690
that person as soon as the programme had finished. So
840
00:32:35.750 --> 00:32:38.150
if Tarzan was on, I was running around in underpants
841
00:32:38.210 --> 00:32:39.849
and my dad's scout knife tucked in it.
842
00:32:39.920 --> 00:32:41.819
I wouldn't cut myself to pieces, I don't know.
843
00:32:42.440 --> 00:32:45.680
If the A-team was on, I'd leave batteries with strings
844
00:32:45.779 --> 00:32:47.539
on on the stairs, going like.
845
00:32:47.579 --> 00:32:50.130
Don't step on that stair, it's a bomb. So all
846
00:32:50.170 --> 00:32:50.829
this stuff.
847
00:32:51.230 --> 00:32:54.609
But I was always playing army. I was always outside me.
848
00:32:54.890 --> 00:32:59.200
I was completely camoed up. You know, in the camouflage gear,
849
00:32:59.279 --> 00:33:01.839
doing garden hopping with a wooden gun. Really?
850
00:33:01.980 --> 00:33:04.500
Yeah, that's what I did every night, yeah. I'm desperate
851
00:33:04.519 --> 00:33:05.299
to be a soldier.
852
00:33:05.319 --> 00:33:05.920
Oh, really?
853
00:33:05.960 --> 00:33:07.519
Yeah, that's what I wanted to be.
854
00:33:07.519 --> 00:33:09.200
Do you think you'd have been a good soldier?
855
00:33:09.220 --> 00:33:11.490
I think I'd have been, I had a lot of practice.
856
00:33:14.819 --> 00:33:16.900
On this show josh um yeah queens for a night
857
00:33:16.960 --> 00:33:20.700
each uh celebrity is given a category within drag so
858
00:33:20.720 --> 00:33:22.960
some are doing lip syncing some are singing some are
859
00:33:23.009 --> 00:33:25.569
doing magic you did a comedy set and it was
860
00:33:25.609 --> 00:33:26.930
really good i don't want to give away too much
861
00:33:26.970 --> 00:33:29.250
but it was really good and really accomplished for someone
862
00:33:29.630 --> 00:33:31.910
that was their first ever gig is there is there
863
00:33:31.930 --> 00:33:34.789
a comedy career in the pipeline as the second part
864
00:33:34.829 --> 00:33:38.460
of simon gregson's career in entertainment well we were.
865
00:33:38.279 --> 00:33:41.319
Thinking about it quite a while ago um i'm very
866
00:33:41.339 --> 00:33:43.099
good friends i've been for a while with a guy
867
00:33:43.140 --> 00:33:44.460
called john maloney.
868
00:33:44.500 --> 00:33:46.779
Yeah, I know John Maloney. Well, yeah, me and him.
869
00:33:46.920 --> 00:33:50.480
Were thinking of doing, well, writing some comedy for me
870
00:33:50.500 --> 00:33:54.130
and then me doing all the comedy clubs in the
871
00:33:54.269 --> 00:33:58.069
UK for charity. Yeah. So I was like, well, that's
872
00:33:58.130 --> 00:33:59.970
a nice thing to fall back on because I'm like,
873
00:33:59.990 --> 00:34:01.829
it's for charity, so people might laugh.
874
00:34:02.430 --> 00:34:05.049
Oh, no, don't do it for charity. Do it for you.
875
00:34:05.150 --> 00:34:08.329
Fuck them and then you'll find out. Do the charity
876
00:34:08.349 --> 00:34:09.809
gig once you've got your gear together.
877
00:34:10.230 --> 00:34:11.909
Yeah, but I've always.
878
00:34:11.670 --> 00:34:15.449
Been very interested in it because, I just love comedy,
879
00:34:15.550 --> 00:34:17.409
you know, and I'm a big fan of you guys
880
00:34:17.489 --> 00:34:21.119
and watch all your stuff and everybody else. And, you know,
881
00:34:21.159 --> 00:34:23.719
I just find it, I just think it's a brilliant,
882
00:34:24.199 --> 00:34:27.139
you know, skill, you know. I just think, but I
883
00:34:27.159 --> 00:34:29.349
can imagine it can be very hard.
884
00:34:29.650 --> 00:34:31.909
I was going to ask as well, what's holidays like
885
00:34:31.949 --> 00:34:33.510
now with teenage boys?
886
00:34:33.829 --> 00:34:34.530
Are they bored?
887
00:34:34.809 --> 00:34:35.989
They don't want to go away with you or are
888
00:34:36.010 --> 00:34:36.769
they still loving it?
889
00:34:37.409 --> 00:34:40.429
No, they love it. We have kind of two separate holidays.
890
00:34:40.489 --> 00:34:43.849
So Emma takes the boys on like, because they love like,
891
00:34:43.889 --> 00:34:45.730
you know, Benidorm and parts of Spain.
892
00:34:46.130 --> 00:34:47.780
Well, I can't go to because it would just be
893
00:34:47.800 --> 00:34:49.119
like a PA. Yeah.
894
00:34:49.139 --> 00:34:50.880
You just have a phone shoved in your face every
895
00:34:50.900 --> 00:34:54.340
two seconds, which has happened. So Emma takes the boys
896
00:34:54.420 --> 00:34:56.539
alone on like for a week on one of those.
897
00:34:56.579 --> 00:34:59.000
And then we go for like 10 days, two weeks
898
00:34:59.099 --> 00:35:00.449
to somewhere nice.
899
00:35:00.889 --> 00:35:01.170
You know?
900
00:35:01.369 --> 00:35:01.630
Yeah.
901
00:35:01.750 --> 00:35:02.949
A bit more quieter.
902
00:35:02.969 --> 00:35:03.050
Yeah.
903
00:35:03.409 --> 00:35:06.130
Well, yeah, money doesn't buy you friends, but it buys
904
00:35:06.150 --> 00:35:07.760
you a better class of enemy kind of thing.
905
00:35:11.619 --> 00:35:14.599
You couldn't survive in Benidorm or like a Brits abroad
906
00:35:14.619 --> 00:35:15.219
place like that.
907
00:35:15.659 --> 00:35:15.960
No.
908
00:35:16.159 --> 00:35:17.900
Yeah, we'll get a villa, basically.
909
00:35:18.159 --> 00:35:19.139
But then that is a bit boring.
910
00:35:19.300 --> 00:35:21.639
They like the hotels and the other kids and all
911
00:35:21.670 --> 00:35:23.409
that kind of stuff in the pool.
912
00:35:23.510 --> 00:35:24.309
As long as they've.
913
00:35:24.170 --> 00:35:26.150
Got a pool and as long as they've got a ball,
914
00:35:26.469 --> 00:35:28.610
they're fine. I mean, when Emma took them last time....
915
00:35:30.380 --> 00:35:31.199
A pool in a pool.
916
00:35:31.219 --> 00:35:35.840
Very much like Steele's, yeah. But yeah, when.
917
00:35:35.739 --> 00:35:40.559
Emma took them, they found like a local five-a-side pitch
918
00:35:40.719 --> 00:35:42.570
and she had to take them every day. In fact,
919
00:35:42.590 --> 00:35:44.360
she had to buy them football boots because that's the
920
00:35:44.429 --> 00:35:45.570
one thing you don't take on holiday.
921
00:35:45.590 --> 00:35:46.389
Oh, really?
922
00:35:46.650 --> 00:35:48.489
You should have just gone to Goals for a week,
923
00:35:48.789 --> 00:35:50.130
the five-a-side place.
924
00:35:50.690 --> 00:35:51.550
Yeah, they'd love it.
925
00:35:52.030 --> 00:35:54.590
So where have they got this from? It's You're not
926
00:35:54.650 --> 00:35:55.829
interested in football at all.
927
00:35:55.889 --> 00:35:59.599
I'm not interested in football. Emma used to play football
928
00:35:59.619 --> 00:36:02.780
when she was a kid. And Emma's dad's massive into football.
929
00:36:03.119 --> 00:36:03.840
Right.
930
00:36:03.900 --> 00:36:05.400
So they may have picked it up that way. And
931
00:36:05.420 --> 00:36:07.699
of course, all the mates at school play football. And
932
00:36:07.719 --> 00:36:10.369
I guess if you start, you become good at something.
933
00:36:10.409 --> 00:36:12.769
You become a bit more popular within your kind of.
934
00:36:13.170 --> 00:36:16.050
And it's your friendship groups all involved, isn't it, in
935
00:36:16.090 --> 00:36:16.769
catch-up with them?
936
00:36:16.789 --> 00:36:16.949
Yeah.
937
00:36:17.150 --> 00:36:19.900
So if they're all playing football on a Sunday, how
938
00:36:20.059 --> 00:36:21.559
are you getting them to all the games?
939
00:36:21.880 --> 00:36:22.599
Is it logistics?
940
00:36:22.639 --> 00:36:24.579
It depends where they go.
941
00:36:24.940 --> 00:36:27.539
We're very, very lucky with them as mum and dad
942
00:36:27.780 --> 00:36:31.070
and their grandparents. When they were a lot younger, they
943
00:36:31.130 --> 00:36:33.230
used to kind of fight over who would look after
944
00:36:33.269 --> 00:36:34.050
them at the weekend.
945
00:36:34.090 --> 00:36:36.829
So we did have our weekend. We're so blessed with
946
00:36:36.869 --> 00:36:37.070
it all.
947
00:36:37.210 --> 00:36:39.219
It's so important to be near people that will help.
948
00:36:39.409 --> 00:36:40.280
Oh, absolutely.
949
00:36:40.530 --> 00:36:43.980
There's no prizes for being so like, I can do
950
00:36:44.039 --> 00:36:46.739
it on my own. You do need help. And if
951
00:36:46.760 --> 00:36:47.800
you can be near people that can help.
952
00:36:47.820 --> 00:36:48.159
Oh, yeah.
953
00:36:48.199 --> 00:36:50.000
I mean, you need a night off, you know, and
954
00:36:50.119 --> 00:36:54.480
you need to recharge the batteries, you know, and sometimes
955
00:36:54.500 --> 00:36:56.820
not get up as early. But, yeah, Emma's dad will
956
00:36:56.840 --> 00:37:00.340
come and pick them up. I'm able to drive now anyway,
957
00:37:00.579 --> 00:37:02.699
so I'll drop them off. But walking across the wet
958
00:37:02.780 --> 00:37:05.960
fields– Is there no note for me? Because if I slip,
959
00:37:06.039 --> 00:37:07.300
I'm going back to square one.
960
00:37:07.940 --> 00:37:10.380
Oh, God. Did they have to write that into Coronation
961
00:37:10.420 --> 00:37:11.570
Street that you broke your leg?
962
00:37:11.590 --> 00:37:12.570
Yeah, they've written it in, yeah.
963
00:37:12.809 --> 00:37:14.090
And did you have to film a scene where you
964
00:37:14.110 --> 00:37:15.989
broke your leg when you've already got a broken leg?
965
00:37:16.070 --> 00:37:19.329
We just kind of spoke about it, you know. It's
966
00:37:19.369 --> 00:37:21.730
kind of like when Bobby Ewing woke up in the shower.
967
00:37:21.989 --> 00:37:24.360
No one cares after five minutes, do they? Yeah. Yeah.
968
00:37:24.960 --> 00:37:26.940
There'd just be one line going, oh, you heard Steve's
969
00:37:26.960 --> 00:37:29.260
broke his leg, blah, blah, blah.
970
00:37:29.300 --> 00:37:31.059
Anyway. And then you wheel in.
971
00:37:31.300 --> 00:37:35.539
Hi, guys. Yeah, it is busy.
972
00:37:35.920 --> 00:37:38.480
I think it's only Tuesday we've got where we're not
973
00:37:38.519 --> 00:37:39.440
taking them to training.
974
00:37:39.820 --> 00:37:40.800
Really? Bloody hell.
975
00:37:40.840 --> 00:37:43.139
Yeah, a lot of training, all separate days. Because they
976
00:37:43.159 --> 00:37:45.329
play for a Saturday and a Sunday team, the two
977
00:37:45.409 --> 00:37:45.789
older boys.
978
00:37:45.969 --> 00:37:46.869
Oh, my God.
979
00:37:47.250 --> 00:37:48.250
Yeah. God.
980
00:37:48.610 --> 00:37:50.590
So that is their life, basically.
981
00:37:51.050 --> 00:37:51.610
Yeah.
982
00:37:51.650 --> 00:37:52.389
Well, not only that.
983
00:37:52.469 --> 00:37:54.230
Yeah, what am I talking about? They play a Saturday
984
00:37:54.309 --> 00:37:56.070
team and a Sunday team. And they play for the
985
00:37:56.110 --> 00:37:57.050
school team, both of them.
986
00:37:58.110 --> 00:38:01.300
You know when Klopp moans about them having to play
987
00:38:02.059 --> 00:38:03.320
three games in two weeks?
988
00:38:03.360 --> 00:38:03.699
He's like.
989
00:38:04.159 --> 00:38:06.400
mate these kids are playing three times a week and
990
00:38:06.440 --> 00:38:07.840
going to school and having to do.
991
00:38:07.780 --> 00:38:10.519
Homework exactly yeah.
992
00:38:10.239 --> 00:38:12.440
And how about in the academic stuff are they sort
993
00:38:12.460 --> 00:38:14.460
of still focusing on that as well as the football.
994
00:38:14.280 --> 00:38:16.469
Yeah Alfie was kind of going a bit by the
995
00:38:16.510 --> 00:38:18.469
wayside because he got it in his head he will
996
00:38:18.510 --> 00:38:20.909
be a footballer one day maybe that was my fault
997
00:38:20.949 --> 00:38:23.389
saying if you if you think it and dream it
998
00:38:23.429 --> 00:38:29.590
big enough it will happen yeah but then I realized
999
00:38:29.610 --> 00:38:32.090
so I said to him look you know um The
1000
00:38:32.130 --> 00:38:34.510
better you are at school, the more they'll like that
1001
00:38:34.550 --> 00:38:37.139
as well because it shows you're dedicated, especially in something
1002
00:38:37.159 --> 00:38:38.099
you're not really bothered.
1003
00:38:38.139 --> 00:38:39.070
You can't be bothered to do it.
1004
00:38:39.119 --> 00:38:42.940
If you show dedication towards it, they'll like that. His
1005
00:38:43.000 --> 00:38:45.719
homework's improved massively since then. Oh, really?
1006
00:38:46.050 --> 00:38:46.659
Good technique.
1007
00:38:47.289 --> 00:38:50.690
And Harry's good in school anyway, so yes.
1008
00:38:51.130 --> 00:38:52.989
Josh, shall we do the final question for Simon?
1009
00:38:53.110 --> 00:38:56.500
It's a classic final question that we always do. So
1010
00:38:56.820 --> 00:38:57.460
it's very simple.
1011
00:38:58.099 --> 00:39:02.010
What one thing does your wife do parenting that annoys you?
1012
00:39:02.070 --> 00:39:05.170
But you haven't said it to her. But were she
1013
00:39:05.190 --> 00:39:07.489
to listen to this podcast? That's a way to communicate it.
1014
00:39:07.949 --> 00:39:10.550
And also as a kind of because we felt that
1015
00:39:10.570 --> 00:39:12.280
was too negative. We realised that two and a half
1016
00:39:12.300 --> 00:39:15.139
years into the podcast. What one thing does she do?
1017
00:39:15.940 --> 00:39:16.780
How would you phrase this.
1018
00:39:16.719 --> 00:39:17.099
Bit, Rob?
1019
00:39:17.360 --> 00:39:20.000
Well, one thing she does that's amazing and that you
1020
00:39:20.019 --> 00:39:22.340
absolutely love, but you don't always tell her how good
1021
00:39:22.360 --> 00:39:22.639
that is.
1022
00:39:23.349 --> 00:39:24.960
But we're really focusing on the first one.
1023
00:39:25.179 --> 00:39:26.000
Yeah.
1024
00:39:26.059 --> 00:39:33.019
LAUGHTER I think the first one.
1025
00:39:34.500 --> 00:39:39.570
Is if I get a bit too shouty with them,
1026
00:39:41.030 --> 00:39:45.070
lose my temper too much, I'm told, you know, just
1027
00:39:45.130 --> 00:39:45.750
calm down a bit.
1028
00:39:45.769 --> 00:39:48.860
And I'm like, but when you lose your temper... there
1029
00:39:48.900 --> 00:39:50.869
are people on the space station that can hear it.
1030
00:39:51.940 --> 00:39:52.300
Yeah.
1031
00:39:52.550 --> 00:39:56.210
It's like, hang on a minute. So there is that.
1032
00:39:56.809 --> 00:39:59.429
But the one thing she does, which is amazing is
1033
00:39:59.550 --> 00:40:02.750
that she never lets them sit still or be bored.
1034
00:40:03.070 --> 00:40:08.199
You know, she'll take them here, there and everywhere. You know, if,
1035
00:40:08.300 --> 00:40:10.360
if it's a school holidays, it's like, they have to
1036
00:40:10.400 --> 00:40:15.110
be doing something every day. And, you know, she, she
1037
00:40:15.349 --> 00:40:18.539
regardless of how tired she is or anything she'll always
1038
00:40:18.599 --> 00:40:19.420
make time and do.
1039
00:40:19.340 --> 00:40:22.340
Something with them you know oh that's nice yeah it's
1040
00:40:22.380 --> 00:40:24.260
good not with me she hates me.
1041
00:40:26.219 --> 00:40:28.329
She's got you making the scones that's the main thing.
1042
00:40:28.260 --> 00:40:29.969
This is it yeah i'm just the guy with the
1043
00:40:29.989 --> 00:40:30.829
flower do you.
1044
00:40:30.750 --> 00:40:31.949
Want to give the do you want to give the
1045
00:40:31.989 --> 00:40:33.949
cafe a shout out so the listeners can come and
1046
00:40:33.969 --> 00:40:34.889
buy a scone.
1047
00:40:34.949 --> 00:40:39.170
Oh yeah go on then morley tea rooms in winslow.
1048
00:40:38.869 --> 00:40:41.409
Morley Tea Rooms in Winslow.
1049
00:40:41.449 --> 00:40:45.190
Yes, very, very nice. Homemade cakes, but the scones are
1050
00:40:45.210 --> 00:40:45.650
the best.
1051
00:40:45.829 --> 00:40:46.329
Thank you.
1052
00:40:47.929 --> 00:40:48.840
Morley's Tea Rooms.
1053
00:40:49.219 --> 00:40:49.500
Brilliant.
1054
00:40:49.519 --> 00:40:49.760
Cheers.
1055
00:40:49.800 --> 00:40:50.239
Thanks, Simon.
1056
00:40:50.260 --> 00:40:50.659
That's amazing.
1057
00:40:50.679 --> 00:40:52.280
It's been an absolute pleasure to talk to you.
1058
00:40:52.559 --> 00:40:54.019
You too, Josh. You too, Rob.
1059
00:40:54.139 --> 00:40:55.820
I can't wait to see the show on Saturday.
1060
00:40:56.179 --> 00:41:01.309
Saturday night, ITV, we get to see Simon Gregson as, what's.
1061
00:41:01.199 --> 00:41:03.369
Your drag name? B.
1062
00:41:03.469 --> 00:41:04.690
Day Bardot.
1063
00:41:05.440 --> 00:41:11.119
B-day bardo obviously cheers that was amazing thanks mate.
1064
00:41:11.119 --> 00:41:12.559
Cheers guys.
1065
00:41:14.619 --> 00:41:17.139
Simon gregson do you know what a lovely bloke i
1066
00:41:17.199 --> 00:41:18.949
never obviously i knew who he was but i never
1067
00:41:19.010 --> 00:41:21.190
met him until that um drag show that we did
1068
00:41:21.289 --> 00:41:24.710
yeah he's such a nice guy he's so funny so
1069
00:41:24.769 --> 00:41:27.329
nice he's brilliant on the show as well and.
1070
00:41:27.289 --> 00:41:29.869
Um Yeah, just a really good person.
1071
00:41:30.150 --> 00:41:32.510
And for someone who's been on telly for 33 years
1072
00:41:32.730 --> 00:41:35.250
and so famous, he's so level-headed.
1073
00:41:35.730 --> 00:41:37.630
How would you feel if your daughters were playing football
1074
00:41:37.650 --> 00:41:40.039
six nights a week, Rob? Would you find it thrilling
1075
00:41:40.179 --> 00:41:41.800
or stressful or both?
1076
00:41:42.139 --> 00:41:44.719
As long as they're enjoying it and they're focused and
1077
00:41:44.739 --> 00:41:47.139
sort of engaged with it, then I don't mind because
1078
00:41:47.260 --> 00:41:49.460
you've got to do something with your time. I mean,
1079
00:41:49.579 --> 00:41:52.130
I was gigging that much when I was becoming a comedian.
1080
00:41:52.329 --> 00:41:54.510
So if you've got a passion for it, I'd much
1081
00:41:54.590 --> 00:41:56.530
rather my kids have a passion for something and we're
1082
00:41:56.550 --> 00:41:57.929
out every night of the week doing it than then
1083
00:41:57.969 --> 00:41:59.469
just sit at home going, I don't know what I
1084
00:41:59.469 --> 00:41:59.829
want to do.
1085
00:41:59.849 --> 00:42:00.869
Yeah. Yeah.
1086
00:42:01.510 --> 00:42:03.840
And also I love, it depends though. Like I love football.
1087
00:42:03.880 --> 00:42:05.280
If it was rugby, I think I'd be livid.
1088
00:42:05.960 --> 00:42:08.320
Oh my God. The thought of six nights of rugby
1089
00:42:08.340 --> 00:42:08.559
a week.
1090
00:42:09.280 --> 00:42:12.280
Luckily, my genes have made sure that that's not going
1091
00:42:12.300 --> 00:42:13.260
to happen with my children.
1092
00:42:13.280 --> 00:42:14.710
My dogs are quite good at swimming, so I'm a
1093
00:42:14.730 --> 00:42:15.590
bit worried about that.
1094
00:42:15.630 --> 00:42:17.530
Swimming's a boring one because you've got to sit in
1095
00:42:17.550 --> 00:42:19.159
a fucking boiling room for all.
1096
00:42:19.730 --> 00:42:20.170
Oh, God.
1097
00:42:20.190 --> 00:42:23.269
Because I don't mind the outside watching the football when
1098
00:42:23.309 --> 00:42:25.670
it's like bad weather because I get quite excited about
1099
00:42:25.690 --> 00:42:26.630
buying the right clothes for it.
1100
00:42:26.949 --> 00:42:27.789
Yeah, yeah, that's nice.
1101
00:42:27.969 --> 00:42:28.750
A nice bit of fresh air.
1102
00:42:28.760 --> 00:42:30.559
I'm always excited I see some park football if I'm
1103
00:42:30.760 --> 00:42:31.980
running past or something.
1104
00:42:32.199 --> 00:42:32.539
Oh, I love it.
1105
00:42:32.559 --> 00:42:34.679
I slow down when I'm driving. I do an extra
1106
00:42:34.719 --> 00:42:36.320
loop when I'm walking the dog if I see some
1107
00:42:36.340 --> 00:42:36.880
park football.
1108
00:42:36.900 --> 00:42:37.199
I love it.
1109
00:42:37.769 --> 00:42:40.349
I always dream of driving past a Sunday league game
1110
00:42:40.389 --> 00:42:41.190
and seeing a goal going.
1111
00:42:41.869 --> 00:42:42.369
Oh, yeah.
1112
00:42:42.630 --> 00:42:43.539
What a thrill that is.
1113
00:42:43.550 --> 00:42:44.260
Never happened.
1114
00:42:44.320 --> 00:42:44.920
Never happened.
1115
00:42:46.360 --> 00:42:50.280
But, yeah, rugby would do my fucking nutting.
1116
00:42:53.590 --> 00:42:56.039
Right, we'll see you on Tuesday. See you on Tuesday. Bye.
1117
00:42:56.130 --> 00:42:56.550
Bye.
