Cynthia Damaskos on Flourishing, Intentionality & Holy Week

Elissa Bjeletich Davis: Orthodox Unscripted. I'm Alisa Bialytich Davis and I'm here today with Cynthia Damascus. Cynthia, how are you? I'm good. I'm good. You know, in preparation for the interview today, I re-listened to the one we did in 2021, so five years ago. Oh, wow. And yeah, I just, love talking to you and just talking to you is just like a warm. feeling of friendship and you're so kind and I'm looking forward to it again. Well, thank you. I feel friendship with you. We don't see each other much, whenever we interact, it's always so nice. And of course you're working with Molly Sabrin. I just, I love Molly. I also don't see her very often, but I think of Molly as a dear friend. I'll let her know in case. When she, she was like one of the first people blogging in the Orthodox world, right? And I used to read her blog. And when I went to start a blog, friend of mine was saying I should start it. And there were a lot of blogs of women who were talking about homemaking and child rearing. they just seemed to have everything together and they made you feel bad about yourself. And I was like, I don't want to blog unless I can blog like Molly, you know, because she was just so, she's so good at rearing. Because she sits there and she says, ⁓ this is really hard. It's worth it, but it's really hard and it's just so encouraging to be around her. So I'm to to talk to her all the time. ⁓ it's a blessing. One of the biggest in my life. I'm sure. So you two do Filled with Bless together. Tell me about Filled with Bless and exactly how it works. And I know I've joined before, so I have some insight, but tell our listeners. So Filled with Bless is a ministry to help women achieve a peaceful mind, a healthy body, and a productive life. Although we're thinking about changing that tagline from productive life to maybe a fruitful life. Yes. Yeah. It was a little nose to the grindstone. It is. Sometimes someone said in our membership a couple of days ago that it sounds, well, she wasn't talking about it as part of the field of less ministry, but she just said that sometimes when she thinks of a productive life, seems kind of cold and hard, but You know, we really just want to help people live their best life, the one that God intended for them without all the angst. Yeah, funny because I wouldn't have, I've never thought twice about that. But now that you mention it, you know, it's sort of like you have to be producing something. As a stay home mom, I was always interested in the fact that the only work that counted was work that brought in money, right? Like, people at home, we're not working, we're just there. But you know, that there's a sense that if you can't monetize it, it's not productive. of course that's not true. But fruit pull is better. Yeah, yeah. Because productive is also kind of stressful. Like you're being pushed to be, you know, to get things done, And fruit pulls more comes out of your gifts and your talents. Right. Nobody can rush fruit pull, right? Like fruits grow when they grow. They just come. We're lucky and we're grateful for it. That's think it was still a good ministry with the other phrase, but I think that's an interesting change. Thank you. It's going to take a while to flip that out and on everything we have out there. But we have the podcast on HF Faith Radio called The Film of Lust Show. And Molly and I record that podcast once a month. And this month we have a special bonus episode, which I think we're going to talk about in a little bit. But so there'll be two in April. ⁓ We have a filled with less planner. It's an intentional living planner. And it just helps people kind of drill down and get things done and feel less stress in their brain, less chaos in their lives and their brain. And it includes a lot of things from even finding glimmers of light every day and being able to just write that down, know, some glimmers of light and also an area where you surrender things to God. every day, so the corner of surrenders. it's a sort of a different kind of intentional living planner. ⁓ We have a membership where the ladies get together once a month as a group and we've been going through a study intentional living spiritual life series for the past several months and now we're going to go into a new series which I can't tell you about because it's a secret. to our members. They'll be upset if they find out I told you and I haven't told them. But then they also get together every Tuesday for Molly's chat and talk to Molly and each other on Tuesdays. And it's a lovely, lovely membership. And then we have a book club, which is open to everybody. And ⁓ we've been doing that for a few years now. And what else do we do? It seems like I'm leaving things out. We give retreats. And we love to visit churches and give retreats. We're usually busiest around Lent, but we'll do it any time of the year. And then we have courses. So we have six weeks of sanity, which we rerun every January. Is that the one you were in? weeks of sanity? don't think so, but I remember when that first came out. I remember when Molly was kind of just going through all of that in general of trying to simplify and really think about, I mean, even just the idea, you know, filled with less to feel full, but to have less on your plate, right? To be not having so much and going on and the simplicity. So tell me about what's the six weeks to simplicity. Six weeks to sanity. So it runs every January. That's a case about simplicity. And it leads up until the beginning of Lent and We talk about having a mindset, a peaceful mindset. Molly heads up that one. Then the second week I go into time management, goal setting, living by your values, ⁓ that kind of thing. ⁓ The third week is presbyteral Stacy Dorrance. She talks about decluttering. So that's where the decluttering and the simplifying your home comes in. Then the next week I go into health and wellness, creating a health plan and helping people get healthier that way, because that's less stressful. And then ⁓ Molly goes into relationships and boundaries in the fifth week and how to manage those. And then the sixth week is Pres Stacey again. She, ⁓ it's all about faith, living your faith. And of course the entire thing is through the lens of Orthodox faith. So it's. It just marries everything together. So we love that. We started it in 2020. And so we just had our sixth year and everyone has, ⁓ who's purchased it has lifetime access. So every year we get a bunch of people coming in from the past, along with the new people and they're meeting and making new friends. And it's really been. Yeah. Fulfilling women flourish. love that. Well, yeah. mean, it really, it is so important. think we're just so hectic in this world and we feel like there's so much going on. You feel like you're not completely in your control, right? You want to be living intentionally, but you feel like, Oh, I wish I was doing that. I wish I was, I wished, it, it, we spend enough time beating ourselves up or yearning to have that kind of control and intentional structure that we want. And it's just so nice to finally have a ministry that says, okay, sit down. We're going to work on this now. You know, because I think we'll spend much more time worrying about it than we spend actually fixing it. Right? Oh, exactly. Exactly. And people will come in to say, okay, this is my year to get healthy. I'm really going to focus on that week and that module with Cynthia. Next year they come in. This year's my decluttering year. So it's not like you have to keep up and keep switching every week with every, it's really whatever the season of your life is telling you that you need to focus on. Well, and isn't that how it is really, you know, there's different chapters, you have all sorts of different focuses. And I would imagine that, you know, you could go through it one year and everything gets better. And then the next year you can revisit and there's always room for improvement. Exactly. there's always backslide, you know, all of that. no, it's really, it's a beautiful ministry. It's really lovely because it really is focused on changing people's lives and making making people able to live, you know, in this very beautiful, peaceful way. And so they can focus more on God and all of these things we're supposed to be doing. It's so rare to have a ministry like that that's really just doing practical, helpful work. I love practical things. You know, there are a lot of, I don't know, Orthodox books, right? I like to be like, you know, I'm going to take a big concept. Let's make this easy and figure out how we can do it in our lives instead of, you know. I mean, all the other books are all very lovely, but I have a special place in my heart for Billy just helping people actually do it for once. Me too. Here's some steps. One, two, three. Yeah. And even when you're reading The Lives of the Saints, like I like to read The Lives of the Saints, but I really love it even more when it's like so practical that it's like, okay, here's how you can be more like St. Paisios. Well, that's the joy of the modern saints really is that they are giving, you know, they're confessors in the modern world and they're saying, okay, this is what you have to do when your husband says that or whatever. And it's just, ⁓ it's so helpful because it's true a lot of times, you know, like St. Basil the great, I love, he started a hospital, you know, he gave everything away. I don't know what, I don't know how to translate that always, but it's so helpful to have someone saying, let's think about. the values that we have and the principles that we have and how that applies to what we're really doing. And what a gift. It's beautiful. It is. All right. We have a new course coming out that's just opening up. It'll start May 11th. And actually, this this is the third time running through this next one, but it's called Back to Basics. That's the one I did before. That's the one you did? Yes. Okay. Very good. So where six weeks of sanity kind of is a life overhaul, if you will, back to basics is all about flourishing and doing interesting hobbies and being in community with other women and just supporting and encouraging each other and returning to joy. Beautiful. I love that it's so much community, right? Because in the end, really that's so much of what we're missing, especially in our world today. We're really missing being present with each other and sharing those experiences and values and being in communion. Exactly. There are so many women who join who ⁓ they're in a parish that is like an hour or two away. Yeah. So it's not like they can really be a part of the community all the time or it's ⁓ Maybe a mission where they just have a very small number of people to be in community with. And this really broadens the scope of feeling like you are part of something bigger, something Orthodox women from all over the world are coming together and you're making all kinds of- an international audience? Oh, no. How interesting to talk about these questions of how you live your daily life with maybe someone who lives in an Orthodox country. I don't know, do you see a lot of different influences from the cultures and different, do people struggle with the same thing everywhere? Do ⁓ you see any differences or is it mostly American expats who are positioned somewhere? ⁓ No, we have a couple of expats, but... Our ladies in Greece are Greek, ladies in Australia, Australian, England, the Netherlands. We had someone join our book club. I think she was from, I want to say Ethiopia or Cambodia. I can't remember now. That was fun. So yeah, we all have the similar struggles. which feels good to know we're all in this together, no matter where we live, we all have the similar struggles. But sometimes the communities are harder to come by in a lot of other areas of the world. I could see that. It's like this where, you know, orthodoxy isn't, or isn't normal, right? Where Christianity isn't normal. have, I work with a lot of people in Pakistan. Our biggest office is there. And that's the group I work with. And they're mostly Muslim and it's been really fun to have this kind of interaction. But there are also Christians on the team and it's more rare in Pakistan. Actually, I recently met a Pakistani Orthodox priest. They're starting missions. They're building up the church there. speaking to Christians who are struggling by in a world that really isn't Christian around them. I mean, we say our world, our nation is not really Christian anymore. It's not, but That's really not, know, when you're in a Muslim culture, you're in something else. It's really, it is hard to feel like you have company. It's hard to find people who are also struggling and also looking for Christ. it feels pretty impressive. I would assume. I yeah. Yeah. It's, think, I think it's okay, but I think it's easier here. Yeah. It's easier even, and we underestimate how much more. we do have Christians around and Orthodox people around and access to people. When you're like the only parish in the country, know, worse than being the only parish in the county, that's for sure. you know, community is so important and it's bringing joy, right? Like it's really hard to hold on to joy all alone. But I find that when we're a group, we can all look at each other and point out what we have to be thankful for and encourage each other and really find joy from the relationships themselves. Yep, agree. That's lovely. That's one of the good things about the internet, right? Like we can do things online. Yeah, it is a Zoom. Yeah. Thank goodness for the upsides of the internet and of Zoom. Right. Who knew? Who knew this is how... the world would turn out, but that's great. So ⁓ as we're down, we should recognize we're entering into Holy Week. We're recording this a few days ahead, but we'll be releasing it on Palm Sunday coming in. So today we're on Friday. We're in the last day of Lent, which is always amazing to me because it feels so long and then it's over and I kind of miss it. You know, it's already like, ⁓ my parochalysis every Friday. Yes. Yeah, we're coming into Holy Week. Do you ever consider in filled with less or in maybe retreats that you do and things, how it is that we're able, how do we take care of ourselves during times like that? I find in women's retreats when I go, are more and I give a retreat. There are often a lot of questions about this problem of as Orthodox, we talk about dying to yourself. We talk about emptying yourself out in service. We have all of this asceticism. You're supposed to be okay being exhausted, but then it's like, well, how do I take care of myself? Right. Am I allowed to take care of myself? Can I be indulgent and just sit down and, you know, rest my feet or do something for me instead of only things for others? I don't, do you ever encounter concerns like that? find it's very common. Well, as a health and wellness coach, you know, I do run into this. a lot with women thinking self-care is selfish ⁓ or being told, you know, they're just used to being told self-care is selfish. ⁓ And as Christians, it should be all about the other person and serving and not doing anything for ourselves. You know, there's kind of that mentality out there. But I just come at it from a completely different angle, honestly. To me, between the life that was given to us in the womb, meaning the soul and the body together, those are the biggest gifts we have been given, our soul and our body coming into life. So to treat our life and our body as though it's insignificant, instead of feeling like we should be a steward of it, a steward of this gift. I think it's a huge mistake because if you're not being a good steward, you're not going to have the energy to get off the couch and go to church. You're not going to have the energy to play with your kids who are also a huge blessing in your life, know, get on the floor and play Barbies or whatever, right? ⁓ You're not going to make that casserole for somebody who just got out of the hospital. So to serve others, we ourselves have to be filled. And in order to fill ourselves, we need to have silence every day. We need to eat well. We need to move because God created our bodies to thrive. And we have to, we have to just steward them the way He created them to be. And then we can be the best we can be for Him, for His glory. That's really the thing, right? Like if you're serving Him, you have to take care of His servant, right? Like how are you gonna, how are you gonna do all these important things? How are you gonna? feed him when he's hungry and give him drinks when he's thirsty, right? And visit him in prison. You have to be present with him. You have to be able to move around and take care of yourself. I think also, I always think about when Christ said, yourself as, love your neighbor as yourself. There's some self-love built in here. It's assumed. It's assumed that we'll be doing that. think especially thinking about that during Lent, So if you have children, I think in this culture, we're very focused on everything you do is for the children. then it's like, get that combined with this feeling like it's, know, asceticism calls to me and it's lent and it's okay to be miserable. and, don't know. I'm what's your take on that? We're, know, we're fasting and then we come to Holy week. And obviously it's harder than, but it's also beautiful. um, I don't know. What do you think about like, how do we, how do we. think about it when we come into times like this, are we just powering through, like trying to get through something hard? Is it just supposed to be hard and we'll just get through it? What kind of advice would you give to someone who's struggling with it? ⁓ wow. I'm not sure I'm the best person to ask for advice on this. I don't do my best. I apologize for my throat. I'm having some sinus issues lately for some reason, so it's affecting me. I don't know where you are in Texas right now. It is just sinus nightmares. of us like marching in the yard for us. I'm in Indiana and I see everything springing up and I'm like, okay, this is, need to the quercetin and the other things I do for. You're in Indiana, right? Because you're right near the studios. Cause you go in in person. Right. ⁓ neat. I love Indiana. It's so lovely. Chesterton's a neat town too. Yeah, it is. I think that going into Holy Week, hopefully throughout Lent, we've been able to establish a rhythm, right? At first it's hard. It's like, ⁓ you know, especially for churches, you Monday, Wednesday, Friday services, plus Sunday, special feast days. ⁓ At first it's like, ⁓ church again, church again. And then you start going like, ⁓ you know, I'm in this rhythm now. Right? We were talking earlier, I think, before we started recording that you're going to miss proclacies, I believe. Right. Yeah. So you start getting into this rhythm. So the rhythm, if you're in that already when Holy Week arrives, it's much easier. Yeah. Because that getting in my church clothes, getting in the car and doing the drive is just you're on automatic because you know that that's where you belong. And I think that in between trying to do all the things you would normally be doing during the day is a mistake. I often counsel people, you know, coming up to, well, first of all, at least a year prior, make sure that you know when Lent starts and when Pascha is and Holy Week, you know, when it's gonna be for the following year. Put that in your calendar. so that you're already not going to accept any appointments, any orthodontist, any anything during Holy Week. That is a great idea to have it just way in advance. Because a lot of those appointments we make six months out, a year out, and then you're in the middle of Holy Week and you've got, it's also weird too, right? I mean, especially later in Holy Week, you're so in the middle of it and then to step out into this weird secular moment. ⁓ I've got to get my hair done. My haircut, right? And so if you don't put it in on your schedule a year in advance or so, because I'm putting in 2027 now so that I don't have that conflict. Because I think one of the mistakes people get into is that they're trying to live their their regular everyday life during the same time. And how stressless that and going to, know, even like, I don't know. book clubs and PTA meetings or whatever people do in the evenings that may not put them in bed when they should be in order to get up the next morning and do the services. Like just get rid of all that. Clear your schedule. ⁓ that's, it's so true. And I know as a parent, I always at the beginning of Lent, I would always start by all the coaches, everybody else. I'm like, look, this week, this whole week, we're out like both weekends and the week in between. Sorry. And just tell them the beginning of the season or tell them, you know, at the beginning, right when you sign up for it with the kids. But I don't know that I'm as careful about my own commitments, but I, you know what I mean? Like I, as a mom, you're, but it's like, that was so many things, right? Like you're managing your children's nutrition and you're taking away screen, they get enough sleep. And then, you know, what are you doing? Exactly. Exactly. ⁓ This is definitely the time to get to bed on time. And for I think most people, that's like nine o'clock at night. I mean, it's not 1 a.m. And wake up the next morning refreshed and have a good breakfast if you don't have liturgy and a nice wholesome, clean breakfast that's gonna give you energy, not carb laden that's gonna sap it from you. And ⁓ yeah, take care of yourself and just try to be a good steward. And that's what's gonna carry you through this whole week. I love that. That's so true. And I think too, I think sometimes we just expect so much of ourselves, you know, like, well, just like you were saying, you know, we try to live our ordinary lives. We're still trying to keep everything going. I mean, this is supposed to disrupt, right? Like Holy Week, just as it would have when Christ was arrested, right? Like everything stopped. And so that's where we're supposed to be. We don't need to worry about these other things. But I think also we're just hard on ourselves, right? Like am I I don't know, do I have all the right lenten foods? Do I have that? By Holy Week, it's like, ⁓ you know, what I have, what I've been used to eating every day, I'll just keep going with, I can't, I don't know, it's hard to explain, but I always feel like I'm supposed to be doing it better. And that's a sign that I'm just really tired and I'm not taking care of myself, I don't know. I think that could be, because if you're tired and you're not taking care of yourself, you're not really gonna be present in the services either. So that's gonna create a stressful feeling in you that I'm not doing this right. ⁓ So yeah, you need that self care. And you know, something else I always recommend that people do and when this airs, it's gonna be a little bit late, but for next year, ⁓ and I know a lot of people do this already, but throughout Lent, as you're making all of these wonderful meals, double them, triple them, quadruple them. freeze them for Holy Week so that during Holy Week you're not even cooking. You're just heating things up. ⁓ that's such a good idea. I never do that. But it's true, right? I mean, I'll have, I'll make lentil soup and I have it all week. I also get tired of it that week. So why not put away a serving so that on Holy Tuesday, I'll be happy to see it. Exactly. That's actually, that's a very good idea. That's a very good idea. Yeah. There's too much just trying to get by. You know what I mean? There's too much pushing through. pushing through. Yeah, which there's, you know, there's a certain part of that that we're expected to do. I think that's the pushing through that makes us stronger and reinforces our faith and what we believe. and ⁓ it's good. It can be a good pushing during Holy Week. Yeah. Well, I always feel like, you know, we're kind of broken down through Lent and then Holy Week, we get just totally broken down. But Holy Friday, you want to be in that place, right? You want to be in that broken place with Christ at the cross and just sort of experiencing that just the overwhelming Just I want to say sadness, but I almost want to say the impossibility right of creation rising up and killing the creator of Of us having it in us to do such things and just you know, I love I love Holy Week and Holy Friday. I wasn't Orthodox growing up. I always, my parents always said, well, Christmas is nice, Easter is really the more important holiday because the resurrection is so central. They would say that, but then Christmas is like a really big deal, right? was family and Easter was like, we had lunch on Sunday. It was nice. My grandmother came, but it wasn't. As a kid, there was no comparison, right? And I just love in orthodoxy the way that we embrace it and really throw ourselves into it and re-experience it every year. And I will say, my kids, when anybody says, what's your favorite holiday? They always say pasta, unless they're going to Holy Thursday or Holy Wednesday. And I'm always just like, ⁓ thank you for being so lucky to grow up with such a possibility. Yes, yes. It's really special to me. It's really neat. When I was a kid, just all like, well, when do I get the most presents? That's the whole deal. Right, right. You know, it's funny, before Demetrius and I got married, of course, he's cradle orthodox, and I was an evangelical Protestant at the time, and our Easter's were different days, Pascha and Easter different days. And ⁓ so somehow I was able to get convinced him to come to my church on Western Easter to see what it was like, right? So he comes to the church and you know, it was just, was what evangelicals do. then we went to brunch with, you know, my Bible study friends and he was like, this is it. Like this is what you do. Like you basically just went to church and went to brunch. Like, did you do any church? It's or Sunday, but you wear a prettier dress, right? mean, exactly, a new dress. I would like more, but when you compare the two, it's just, it just doesn't compare. No, doesn't. No, doesn't. You need that preparation. You really, you really do. My first husband was cradle orthodox, but I am remarried now. And when we were married, he was still an evangelical. I knew he'd be coming, but he didn't know. I give him his time, right? And we did that at Easter a few times. And I went with his family to their church. And it was interesting because that was part of, think, how he converted was sort of looking at that contrast and seeing how different it was. we were, I don't know, they're handing out. like communions on the back table. was very casual, very casual and very, like their Holy Friday service was people standing up and talking about like really difficult experiences in their life and how God had helped them. And the thought was, you know, it is about the crucifixion metaphorically, right? About bearing our crosses. But it was just so different. And, you know, it was so interesting to say like, well, why know, Holy Friday can literally be about that Friday and what happens that day. And it just means so much to be able to go through and recreate all of it. And sometimes we take it for granted, but it's really beautiful. What's your favorite thing about Holy Week? golly. I think the anticipation of the resurrection, it just... You know, I used to go to All Saints in Chicago and the choir director for the last few years I was there was an opera singer and she was also, know, and she was into theater and everything too. And on Holy Saturday, you know, when we would have the Liturgy in the Morning, What's blanking on is it called the resurrection letter? What's it called? ⁓ it's maybe the protoanostasis, the first resurrection. Yeah, maybe. Yeah. Just the the building up the choir did such a good job. And, know, to the tomb being empty. Right. And the and the volume kept getting. You know, louder and louder. And then the you know, they're throwing the rose petals and everything. I would just be crying like every year just with joy. And ⁓ my goodness, I still look forward to Holy Saturday morning and then the resurrection of course that night. That's the best moment of Holy Week. If you don't go to Holy Saturday morning, start going. It's really remarkable that the arise, ⁓ God, and judge the earth and yeah, I'm after Holy Friday and Lamentations going late at night and then morning and it's just like light and glory and joy and that's my favorite. That's absolutely my favorite. Yeah, me too. And I hate to say it, but even more so than the Anastasia service. Right. I love that too. I love it. I love St. John Chrysostom's Paschal Homily. know, I do. of it's great, right? And Holy Friday, the first time I ever did Holy Friday, my son had died and we had buried him that year. And I had never been to, I was at a parish that the priest had a job and the community didn't do a lot during Holy Week. I think they did, but somehow I just didn't know about it. I didn't understand what was going on because I wasn't from a church tradition really. And so a friend of mine said, Oh, you've never been to Holy Friday. You have to come to Holy Friday. It's amazing. I thought, okay, I'll be there. think anything of it. And I walked in and it was, it's a funeral for Jesus. And you're standing with the perspective of his mother at her funeral. And I was just floored. was, you know, I was very close on having a funeral for my son. Um, but it was, it made it more powerful. It was really Like right before the one year anniversary, it's like two weeks before the anniversary. it's, it's a crazy time to have done something like that. But it really, it struck me in every year. I, just, it's so real to me and it's just so beautiful and so important and so wonderful to be able to enter into that with Mary and to, to think about what that means. And I just, I'm always blown away by what a profound and amazing service that is. Yeah, I think it's profound and amazing that for you, I'm thinking, I'm just thinking of how torn up. It was, I was a little shocked the first time and I was just sort of like part of me is thinking, I can't believe she recommended that I do this. But also I was just transfixed. It was beautiful. But yeah, it was, it was funny because she said she just never thought of it that way, you know, as being the same as a funeral, but it really It really is. But it's neat, I think, also to understand that we're really going through this crucifixion and burial and the morning and the part before the resurrection, that quiet and that reverent joy and Holy Friday is so beautiful. Yeah, I'm excited. I'm just thrilled that it's all starting up. Got baptisms tomorrow for Lazarus, Saturday, all kinds of great stuff coming. Good, good. Yeah. And more people. Pardon me, what did say? By the time we hear this, I guess it'll already be baptized. So welcome. ⁓ yeah. It is a beautiful time of year too. And lately, so the church is so fruitful. We have so many joining that that's beautiful. Are you seeing a lot of change in your parish in terms of growth or anything? How's Indiana for that? Yes. They're growing. They're not like, you know, the really large parishes that I know around the country that are really, you know, like bringing in 30 people at a time, but definitely growing and consistently new chrismations, new baptisms and converts. And yeah, it is. Yeah. I feel like, you know, this all happens in God's time, you know, and He's, once we got mature enough, to know how to welcome people and know how to help people through all of this. Because 30 years ago, sometimes you'd go to church and it would just be like, oh, are you Greek? You're not Greek. Why are you here? Exactly. That's better now at being like, oh, welcome to our beautiful church. Yeah. That's what I ran into even 24 years ago. I became Orthodox and I went to a couple of churches where was like, why is she here? You know, she's not Greek. Yeah. I was 28 years ago and it was definitely like that. And I was in a, I was in an area that was a little bit more, herishes were a little more ethnic and it was a lot of like, you're marrying a Serb. Okay. makes sense. You always kind of rub me wrong. Like maybe I'm here for Jesus. Like are you talking about? Yeah. My faith is more important to me than just like you know, because I got married. I'm not trying to please some guy like I'm here because this is precious. is amazing. yet, and yet so many women and men do that. Yep. And it's such a blessing because they did it, you know, to get married or whatever. Yep. And to please their, their spouse. But then they flourish from there into, yeah, understanding the real meaning of what they did. You know, themselves into. had no idea when I came in, it's just the biggest blessing in my entire life. I had no idea how just lucky and blessed I was walking in. congratulations and welcome to everyone who's walking in this weekend. Yes. My goodness. Cynthia, I just so appreciate you coming on and talking to us. And I just, I love how the filled with less ministry is growing so much. and you're adding new programs and they're just, I don't know, I'm gonna have to join so I can hang out with Molly on Tuesdays, you know. That's right, ⁓ I know, I know. We started this membership because at the end of the very first six weeks to Sanity, the ladies just didn't wanna like say goodbye, like what, this is it, I'm not gonna see these new friends again and I'm not gonna be able to talk to Cynthia and Molly whenever I want to. And so the membership came out of that. And it's just grown steadily. It's not huge. Like when we have our Zoom meetings with Molly and our monthly Zoom meetings, we don't get all the members at one time. We may get 12 at the most. And so it's still a nice, small community. I wish you would join. I think you would really love it. Yeah. I think I'm going to have to come back and check it out because it really, it's lovely. And I do find in my own life that I'll be doing pretty well and then things get busy or something. And I start feeling like, ⁓ I'm not present enough. I'm not maybe, maybe not praying right. Like not, I don't know. You know what I mean? Like you're not present with everyone. You're just busy in your head all the time and you're around people, but maybe not really with people. And I struggle with that sometimes. And so this would be a good way to, to ground myself and bring me back whenever I need to. I think so. That's great. Well, thank you so much for coming on the program and have a beautiful hospital. Thank you. You too, It's good to see you. Take care, Cynthia.