00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:02.560
One thing you need to ask yourself is if you're
00:00:02.560 --> 00:00:05.540
being the best version of yourself when you get
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no rest. And so that's something that this book
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pointed out, that daily fun was an important
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part of that formula. And Ashley, when we were
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talking off camera, you talked about how obviously
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with our faith, we believe that rest is a commanded
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component. We believe that that's true. And if
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we were created for rest, then this hustle culture
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needs to have a... I don't like to use the word
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balance because every entrepreneur is going to
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be like, you're right. But there has to be some
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sort of intentional grounding. Welcome to the
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Optimizing Beyond podcast. I'm Josh Negron, and
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this show is all about sharing lessons, ideas,
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and strategies that sharpen your thinking, strengthen
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your habits, and push you to grow beyond comfort
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zones. Let's dive in. Welcome back to the show.
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On this channel, we talk a lot about optimizing
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productivity and being disciplined. And it's
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not often that we necessarily talk about rest
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and fun. And I found it challenging when I read
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a book recently about leadership and productivity
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and ended up being challenged the most by a chapter
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that was dedicated to fun. Scheduled, timed fun.
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Which made me realize that I did not have structured
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fun in my life in certain ways in a long time.
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And I actually had started developing some rather
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unhealthy negative emotions around this, like
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superiority, and maybe some ego and pride were
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involved as well. So I brought along Ashley with
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me to discuss how high performers can sometimes
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not have the best structured relationship with
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fun and share with you how we've navigated this
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topic. So Ashley, welcome back to the show. Thank
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you for having me. Absolutely. So on this, I'll
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start out by sharing kind of my own. journey.
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I used to be a gamer and this was part of my
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life for ever since I was a kid. So playing on
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consoles in the early 90s, we had the original
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Nintendo and on two different consoles throughout
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the years. And even after we got married, we
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structured in gaming time in certain parts of
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the day where it made sense, where I didn't feel
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like it was as disruptive to our time together.
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But I would say it still had a significant part
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of my life for many years. I'd say 10 years in
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our marriage. Is that about accurate? Probably.
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In addition to that, I had another hobby of working
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on cars. I would do a lot of upgrades and repairs
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in my garage on my various vehicles over the
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years. Both of those things were what I considered
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fun or therapeutic. And I'm not saying that they
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weren't, but I remember feeling a lot of times
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more frustrated at the end of those activities
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than I was going in. And so it was interesting
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just starting to recognize that they weren't
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as maybe therapeutic as I thought they were.
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I would have a frustrating gaming session and
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I would lose a bunch of rounds and I would be
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annoyed and frustrated playing online, especially.
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And then we all know in the cart community, you
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go out and just do one small upgrade should only
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take 20, 30 minutes, seven bolts break, and you're
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almost done. And you drop the 10 millimeter socket
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into the engine bay. It doesn't fall through
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to the bottom. So, you know, it's stuck in there
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somewhere. You don't want to leave it. You got
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to find it. It's your only 10 millimeter because
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you've lost. all the other ones. And it is just
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an absolute nightmare. And a 20 minute thing
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turns into three hours. You're working into the
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night. You're frustrated. Your hands hurt. They're
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bleeding. It's a whole thing. So I just remember
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multiple things kind of starting to eat at me
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with both of those things. And as I was getting
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more into the entrepreneurial space, there was
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a lot of business leaders and gurus and people
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on. YouTube talking about how gaming was useless,
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right? And so it doesn't, what does it offer
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you in the real world? It doesn't give you anything.
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And so it really started, I don't know if convicting
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is the right word in this context, but it started
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making me feel like maybe that that wasn't the
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best use of my life, I would say. And I had to
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be honest with myself, was this something that
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I was willing to give up? This was very personal
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to me. And so I was careful, especially discussing
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that with my gamer friends, because people can
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get defensive real fast, like, you know, whatever.
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you want to apply to yourself. You're like, I'm
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not trying to push this on you or anything. And
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I realized that that I was going to make this
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decision to quit. This was over about two to
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three years that I that I made this decision
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to do that. And I liked the time that I got back.
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It felt freeing. I didn't have the frustration
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tied to the particular games that I was playing.
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And so I was like, this is a win, overall win,
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and I'll take it. And so I even took it a step
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further and deleted all the games off my phone.
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The only one I left was Sudoku and all these
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games that I had accumulated, you know, Clash
00:04:50.430 --> 00:04:52.930
of Clans and Boom Beach and all of these like
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games that made you get into them every day so
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that you could build something or do something.
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I was like, nope, I'm out. Let's just cut these
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out. I want my time back. And that was good.
00:05:03.670 --> 00:05:06.389
And I started noticing over the years that it
00:05:06.389 --> 00:05:09.490
kind of built. for lack of better words, a sort
00:05:09.490 --> 00:05:12.610
of like superiority complex of like looking at
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myself if I considered maybe playing a game where
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I would get really aggressive with myself and
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go, no, that's a huge waste of time. And I would
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have like a really no grace response to that
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thought. And then also towards others, just in
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my head, I wouldn't say anything mean or anything
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judgy with people who are, quote, wasting time
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playing games or. You know, social media is also
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a huge, huge time suck for everyone, for all
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of us. And so I noticed that was starting to
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kind of grow. And it kind of reminded me of when
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someone used to be super overweight. One of the
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tendencies that they can have, one of the temptations
00:05:48.300 --> 00:05:52.540
is when they can feel judgy. with people that
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are where they used to be years ago. I have a
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friend specifically who was was pretty judgy
00:05:59.199 --> 00:06:01.759
last year when when he had gotten healthy. So
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and so actually, I want to ask you, like, throughout
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this, basically, at this point, we would be at
00:06:06.620 --> 00:06:09.660
like, around a five to seven year arc here. What
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were what were the things that you noticed the
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shifts? And and what did it look like from the
00:06:14.199 --> 00:06:17.220
outside of watching this transition? I think,
00:06:17.220 --> 00:06:19.519
you know, for a large part of it, more interested
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in pursuing, you know, entrepreneurial things,
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starting side hustles, those kinds of things,
00:06:24.120 --> 00:06:26.399
starting to just realize like, what are the things
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that other top performers are doing and what
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do they more importantly not do? All right. What
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habits do they have and what habits do they not
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have? And so how can we emulate some of those
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for people that we look up to? And so for. For
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those couple of different reasons, that transition
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felt natural. But also knowing that you had to
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be the one to make that decision. I couldn't
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nag you into trying to do that or be frustrated
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when you did. Because the reality is that I had
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my own version of things that I enjoy that maybe...
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took up just as much time as those other two
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things as well. And so I think the other thing
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that I probably noticed too is like specifically
00:07:05.110 --> 00:07:08.089
when you, yeah, gave up the gaming and maybe
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not as much the car thing, but like how you weren't
00:07:11.149 --> 00:07:14.129
as easily prone to frustration. I think sometimes
00:07:14.129 --> 00:07:16.800
those video games can really... we can get frustrated
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so quickly because things happen in them and
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that just keep, that would keep building over
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an evening. And so I think there were times that,
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you know, I felt like I had to kind of like,
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you know, kid gloves kind of a thing. Cause if
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you'd had a bad gaming evening, like then you
00:07:29.519 --> 00:07:32.240
were frustrated the whole evening or, you know,
00:07:32.259 --> 00:07:34.259
whatever that that might look like. And so emotionally,
00:07:34.399 --> 00:07:38.199
like I, it definitely affected mood, your mood
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in that kind of a way. And so learning to go,
00:07:40.699 --> 00:07:42.279
okay, well, this isn't, this has nothing to do
00:07:42.279 --> 00:07:44.660
with me. This is about this other thing, whatever.
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but also like trying to learn how to not let
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it affect more than just whatever time frame
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that you were spending doing that. I think it's
00:07:52.759 --> 00:07:55.079
important to separate those things as well and
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to not let that frustration, maybe from the game
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or whatever, or the working on the car, whatever,
00:07:59.860 --> 00:08:03.060
seek into the rest of the day or the rest of
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the evening, being able to, in that instance,
00:08:05.319 --> 00:08:07.860
compartmentalize those emotions. Yeah, absolutely.
00:08:08.139 --> 00:08:11.519
Yeah, I remember those times well. And what's
00:08:11.519 --> 00:08:14.959
funny in transitioning into, you know, in the
00:08:14.959 --> 00:08:18.160
current time, in the current age, is that now
00:08:18.160 --> 00:08:21.259
I used to laugh. There was a guy at work who
00:08:21.259 --> 00:08:25.459
had always, at any given time, 150 plus unread
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text messages. And I was like, dude, that's crazy.
00:08:28.579 --> 00:08:31.560
I could not fathom having that many unreads.
00:08:31.560 --> 00:08:35.740
And I'm looking at my Mac right now. And I have
00:08:35.740 --> 00:08:39.600
64 unread text messages. Who's the crazy one
00:08:39.600 --> 00:08:42.360
now? So it's funny transitioning into a time
00:08:42.360 --> 00:08:45.620
where spare time is less available. I always
00:08:45.620 --> 00:08:49.379
feel like there's something else to do. And people
00:08:49.379 --> 00:08:51.360
who have a lot of things going on, you'll know
00:08:51.360 --> 00:08:54.399
what I'm talking about. And so there's this thing
00:08:54.399 --> 00:08:56.820
where, I mean, you really do have to prioritize
00:08:56.820 --> 00:08:58.779
and execute like we've talked about in previous
00:08:58.779 --> 00:09:01.159
episodes. And there are going to be some things
00:09:01.159 --> 00:09:03.370
on your list that... are likely not gonna get
00:09:03.370 --> 00:09:04.970
done because there's only so much time in the
00:09:04.970 --> 00:09:07.269
day and you can't get three hours of sleep because
00:09:07.269 --> 00:09:09.990
we're not Napoleon. And so you have to figure
00:09:09.990 --> 00:09:13.169
it out. And so if fun is on that list, it's likely
00:09:13.169 --> 00:09:15.149
gonna get knocked off. And that's what I started
00:09:15.149 --> 00:09:19.789
finding out over time that the fun things would
00:09:19.789 --> 00:09:22.769
just go to the bottom because this is the phrase,
00:09:22.830 --> 00:09:26.139
there's always something else to do. Right. There's
00:09:26.139 --> 00:09:28.559
always something else to do. Right. And so that's
00:09:28.559 --> 00:09:30.779
the that's the challenge that we've been talking
00:09:30.779 --> 00:09:32.879
about. And it's funny because you and I kind
00:09:32.879 --> 00:09:35.120
of do the same thing, but for like different
00:09:35.120 --> 00:09:36.639
reasons. I don't want to play around with that
00:09:36.639 --> 00:09:38.960
a little bit. So for me, I've been recognizing
00:09:38.960 --> 00:09:44.620
that I constantly am taking advantage of the
00:09:44.620 --> 00:09:49.240
atomic habit where I'll reward myself with something
00:09:49.240 --> 00:09:51.080
good. That's how I got myself to do devotional
00:09:51.080 --> 00:09:53.340
six years ago every single day that I can't touch
00:09:53.340 --> 00:09:55.870
my phone. or go into any other app until I do
00:09:55.870 --> 00:09:57.610
my devotional. Well, then that that motivates
00:09:57.610 --> 00:09:59.529
me because let's face it, I want to open my phone.
00:09:59.610 --> 00:10:02.169
So see who loved me this like the night before,
00:10:02.250 --> 00:10:04.309
right? So so I have to do my devotional and then
00:10:04.309 --> 00:10:06.669
I can get on my phone. So I want to use that
00:10:06.669 --> 00:10:08.710
reward mechanism, which is great. And so it's
00:10:08.710 --> 00:10:11.590
like, well, I'll do all these tasks. And then
00:10:11.590 --> 00:10:15.409
I can do insert fun task or call it a task, see
00:10:15.409 --> 00:10:18.269
the fun thing or whatever it is relaxation time.
00:10:18.759 --> 00:10:21.820
whatever. And what I have found literally over
00:10:21.820 --> 00:10:23.879
months and months of playing around with this
00:10:23.879 --> 00:10:27.240
is oftentimes I don't get to it because I run
00:10:27.240 --> 00:10:30.059
out of time. And even if I structure it to where
00:10:30.059 --> 00:10:32.720
like, no, mathematically, I will have time. A
00:10:32.720 --> 00:10:34.379
lot of times what you don't anticipate, especially
00:10:34.379 --> 00:10:36.679
in the middle of the day, are interruptions that
00:10:36.679 --> 00:10:39.179
keep shifting things and shifting the timeline
00:10:39.179 --> 00:10:41.960
to where you don't have time. And so for you,
00:10:41.960 --> 00:10:45.120
you shared that you want to do the tasks that
00:10:45.120 --> 00:10:47.039
you have written down, but you do it for a slightly
00:10:47.039 --> 00:10:48.899
different reason. Can you walk us through that?
00:10:49.100 --> 00:10:51.980
Yeah, I think for me, I have learned about myself
00:10:51.980 --> 00:10:54.580
probably specifically in the last couple of years
00:10:54.580 --> 00:10:57.919
when there is time to rest. So on a weekend or
00:10:57.919 --> 00:11:00.120
in an evening where we don't necessarily have
00:11:00.120 --> 00:11:02.820
a lot to do or we don't have prior engagements,
00:11:02.919 --> 00:11:06.100
I need to finish whatever tasks need to be done
00:11:06.100 --> 00:11:08.980
before I sit down in my chair or before we turn
00:11:08.980 --> 00:11:12.250
on the TV or before I open my... phone if i don't
00:11:12.250 --> 00:11:15.769
get those things done before i sit down the likelihood
00:11:15.769 --> 00:11:19.389
of me being motivated enough to get back up and
00:11:19.389 --> 00:11:23.610
do the task later are very slim to none and this
00:11:23.610 --> 00:11:26.129
is specifically probably more like on a weekend
00:11:26.129 --> 00:11:30.110
on a on a day of rest i would much rather get
00:11:30.110 --> 00:11:33.470
up get my stuff done and then be able to sit
00:11:33.470 --> 00:11:36.779
down and go cool i'm gonna watch this whatever
00:11:36.779 --> 00:11:39.559
on Netflix or I'm going to research for this
00:11:39.559 --> 00:11:41.980
trip while this is playing or I'm going to be
00:11:41.980 --> 00:11:43.700
looking and working on our grocery list for the
00:11:43.700 --> 00:11:47.000
next week or like trying to still multitask and
00:11:47.000 --> 00:11:49.919
accomplish things but not have to necessarily
00:11:49.919 --> 00:11:52.639
be like up and moving to do them. But yeah, I've
00:11:52.639 --> 00:11:55.179
really learned if I don't. if I don't do those
00:11:55.179 --> 00:11:57.659
things first, I'm not going to accomplish the
00:11:57.659 --> 00:11:59.360
things that I actually need to do and to still
00:11:59.360 --> 00:12:01.240
make our household function and to still keep
00:12:01.240 --> 00:12:04.039
things moving. I can go, what did I say? I can
00:12:04.039 --> 00:12:06.980
go from like 100 to zero really, really fast
00:12:06.980 --> 00:12:09.799
and then I stay at zero. Like I can hit that
00:12:09.799 --> 00:12:13.220
sloth mode really fast when I know there's rest
00:12:13.220 --> 00:12:16.460
days available because they don't happen often
00:12:16.460 --> 00:12:18.500
and because it's like there's a Saturday a month
00:12:18.500 --> 00:12:20.860
that's like, yes, we get to stay home and do
00:12:20.860 --> 00:12:23.360
nothing. But Also in the back of my brain, I'm
00:12:23.360 --> 00:12:25.159
like, oh, but I need to do this and this and
00:12:25.159 --> 00:12:26.860
this task is still outstanding. And I didn't
00:12:26.860 --> 00:12:28.220
get this done this week and I need to do that.
00:12:28.919 --> 00:12:32.259
Right. So it's deciding, OK, I'm going to allow
00:12:32.259 --> 00:12:35.440
myself or I'm going to, you know, take three
00:12:35.440 --> 00:12:37.299
hours and accomplish all these things around
00:12:37.299 --> 00:12:40.240
the house or work on whatever for our outside
00:12:40.240 --> 00:12:42.840
businesses. And then I'm going to sit down and
00:12:42.840 --> 00:12:45.279
enjoy. And so trying to figure out that balance
00:12:45.279 --> 00:12:46.899
has definitely been something that I'm working
00:12:46.899 --> 00:12:51.509
on. Yeah, absolutely. Like I said, you framed
00:12:51.509 --> 00:12:53.590
it perfectly. There is always something else
00:12:53.590 --> 00:12:57.210
to do. And in our case, that we also have business
00:12:57.210 --> 00:12:59.929
partners in the picture, there's a colleague
00:12:59.929 --> 00:13:02.529
I have at work that also loves working out. And
00:13:02.529 --> 00:13:04.710
he's mentioned recently, he's like, man, we've
00:13:04.710 --> 00:13:06.960
always made fun of him for like... maybe skipping
00:13:06.960 --> 00:13:08.980
leg day and those kinds of things. And he said
00:13:08.980 --> 00:13:10.539
to me recently, he's been putting in the work
00:13:10.539 --> 00:13:13.779
to doing in, in doing legs. And he's like, man,
00:13:13.879 --> 00:13:16.240
I'm pushing myself real hard because I imagine
00:13:16.240 --> 00:13:18.519
when I'm in the middle of a set and I'm thinking
00:13:18.519 --> 00:13:20.720
about not going up and Wade or maybe dropping
00:13:20.720 --> 00:13:22.679
away and like, well, Josh wouldn't do that. And
00:13:22.679 --> 00:13:25.059
so he's like, so the, the fake version of me
00:13:25.059 --> 00:13:28.120
in his head is pushing him to work harder. And
00:13:28.120 --> 00:13:29.779
it's kind of like that Michael Jordan effect,
00:13:29.960 --> 00:13:31.940
you know? And so, you know, where he was like
00:13:31.940 --> 00:13:34.059
playing tricks on himself, even when people didn't
00:13:34.059 --> 00:13:36.159
trash talk. So you'd play harder. And so for
00:13:36.159 --> 00:13:40.600
me, there's an aspect of a truthful guilt component
00:13:40.600 --> 00:13:42.940
in there where I know there's stuff that our
00:13:42.940 --> 00:13:44.940
business partners are doing and they're working
00:13:44.940 --> 00:13:48.820
really hard. And so I feel if I rest, then that's
00:13:48.820 --> 00:13:51.159
not fair to them. And so it's always pushing
00:13:51.159 --> 00:13:53.779
me to just do the next task, get the next task
00:13:53.779 --> 00:13:55.960
done. Don't wait till Monday. Don't wait till
00:13:55.960 --> 00:13:58.059
the next day. Just get it done. Right. And so.
00:13:58.320 --> 00:14:00.120
But one thing you need to ask yourself, guys,
00:14:00.220 --> 00:14:03.559
is if you're being the best version of yourself
00:14:03.559 --> 00:14:06.320
when you get no rest. And so that's something
00:14:06.320 --> 00:14:10.120
that this book pointed out, that fun was daily
00:14:10.120 --> 00:14:13.100
fun, was an important part of that formula. And
00:14:13.100 --> 00:14:15.879
Ashley, when we were talking off camera, you
00:14:15.879 --> 00:14:18.779
talked about how obviously with our faith, we
00:14:18.779 --> 00:14:22.639
believe that rest is a commanded component of
00:14:22.639 --> 00:14:25.240
how we're supposed to live our lives. And so...
00:14:25.519 --> 00:14:28.179
We believe that that's true. And if we were created
00:14:28.179 --> 00:14:32.340
for rest, then this hustle culture has an end
00:14:32.340 --> 00:14:35.399
to it. It needs to have a, I don't like to use
00:14:35.399 --> 00:14:37.860
the word balance because that's every entrepreneur
00:14:37.860 --> 00:14:40.419
is gonna be like, you're right. But there has
00:14:40.419 --> 00:14:44.299
to be some sort of intentional grounding. I like
00:14:44.299 --> 00:14:46.179
that better because balance just kind of like,
00:14:46.340 --> 00:14:48.259
oh, I think I found the point. You know, it's
00:14:48.259 --> 00:14:50.759
like balance is probably not a real thing. You
00:14:50.759 --> 00:14:53.779
have to be the one to choose to ground yourself
00:14:53.779 --> 00:14:56.620
in that. rest in that fun. And so Ashley, you
00:14:56.620 --> 00:15:00.440
talked about earlier how while you were describing
00:15:00.440 --> 00:15:03.059
watching me go through these different transitions,
00:15:03.159 --> 00:15:06.299
now that things are, I asked you just point blank
00:15:06.299 --> 00:15:10.620
how it was now that I'm constantly in like productivity
00:15:10.620 --> 00:15:12.820
mode. I don't, I don't know if I'd use the word
00:15:12.820 --> 00:15:14.840
uptight, but there's always something that I'm
00:15:14.840 --> 00:15:17.220
working on. I got my laptop and I'm working on
00:15:17.220 --> 00:15:20.039
tasks. And so maybe it is uptight. And I asked
00:15:20.039 --> 00:15:22.059
you, what's the, what's the biggest challenge
00:15:22.059 --> 00:15:25.440
now? with doing all those things. You want to
00:15:25.440 --> 00:15:28.419
share what you told me? Yeah, I think for me,
00:15:28.440 --> 00:15:31.379
it was the realization of that shift has allowed
00:15:31.379 --> 00:15:36.110
us. to not have as much spontaneity in like going
00:15:36.110 --> 00:15:38.029
to do little adventures. Like we used to be like,
00:15:38.110 --> 00:15:41.970
hey, let's go do, you know, let's go run, let's
00:15:41.970 --> 00:15:43.909
go run to Northwest Arkansas and let's go eat
00:15:43.909 --> 00:15:47.309
tacos and let's go for a drive or let's go, I
00:15:47.309 --> 00:15:49.289
don't even know, 25 different things that we
00:15:49.289 --> 00:15:51.590
could go do, right? And so I think now that it
00:15:51.590 --> 00:15:53.870
just feels like there's so much to do and there's
00:15:53.870 --> 00:15:56.289
always all of these tasks and, you know, our
00:15:56.289 --> 00:15:57.730
businesses keep growing and there's all these
00:15:57.730 --> 00:15:59.230
things and we have to keep all this stuff going
00:15:59.230 --> 00:16:02.009
that we don't have the flexibility. And the freedom
00:16:02.009 --> 00:16:05.470
to do that anymore. I do think a genuine small
00:16:05.470 --> 00:16:08.129
part of that is like our schedule at work has
00:16:08.129 --> 00:16:11.049
shifted. And so where we used to go do that in
00:16:11.049 --> 00:16:12.370
the middle of the week where there wasn't as
00:16:12.370 --> 00:16:14.169
many people around. It kind of felt like it was
00:16:14.169 --> 00:16:17.350
a little more like off season -y. Now our schedules
00:16:17.350 --> 00:16:19.370
are a lot more like everybody else. And we're
00:16:19.370 --> 00:16:21.610
both like, I don't know if I want to go be around
00:16:21.610 --> 00:16:24.490
and be out with all of them. all of the crowds
00:16:24.490 --> 00:16:26.490
and all of the people, right? So I think there
00:16:26.490 --> 00:16:29.009
is that tiny component of that as we've gotten
00:16:29.009 --> 00:16:31.690
older, a little bit more homebodies. But I also
00:16:31.690 --> 00:16:33.929
have noticed like, I don't feel as comfortable
00:16:33.929 --> 00:16:36.710
in being like, hey, we need to go do this. Like,
00:16:36.730 --> 00:16:38.350
let's go. What would you think if we went and
00:16:38.350 --> 00:16:40.090
did this? What would you think if we went and
00:16:40.090 --> 00:16:41.809
did like a little overnight thing here? And what
00:16:41.809 --> 00:16:43.049
would you think if we went and did this here?
00:16:43.250 --> 00:16:46.450
And so I think there's that lack of spontaneity
00:16:46.450 --> 00:16:49.649
and just silliness, maybe. Silliness maybe isn't
00:16:49.649 --> 00:16:51.830
the right phrase, but like that lack of spontaneity
00:16:51.830 --> 00:16:54.519
that's kind of been been missing and i don't
00:16:54.519 --> 00:16:56.559
think and so we started talking about that that
00:16:56.559 --> 00:16:59.419
i kind of realized the a little bit of a hole
00:16:59.419 --> 00:17:02.399
that that was leaving in in that that those are
00:17:02.399 --> 00:17:04.559
times that there was another level of connection
00:17:04.559 --> 00:17:07.099
and that was time even back to the things that
00:17:07.099 --> 00:17:08.680
we've talked about of like being intentional
00:17:08.680 --> 00:17:10.839
with your time together and being intentional
00:17:10.839 --> 00:17:13.779
with maybe even like little little date things
00:17:13.779 --> 00:17:18.640
i think that as a byproduct has kind of shifted
00:17:18.640 --> 00:17:21.519
to we're just we're spending our time at home
00:17:21.519 --> 00:17:24.220
more for a myriad of reasons, not all of them
00:17:24.220 --> 00:17:27.420
bad, but that has become a shift, if that makes
00:17:27.420 --> 00:17:30.339
sense. Yeah, for sure. We learned early on in
00:17:30.339 --> 00:17:33.019
our marriage through like even in premarital
00:17:33.019 --> 00:17:35.180
counseling and then afterwards that that there
00:17:35.180 --> 00:17:37.420
is a connection that's built when even when you're
00:17:37.420 --> 00:17:41.200
doing separate things in the same area. We remember
00:17:41.200 --> 00:17:43.259
learning about that. So sometimes we leverage
00:17:43.259 --> 00:17:47.799
that by I'm working on tasks in the living room,
00:17:47.839 --> 00:17:49.839
you're working on tasks in the living room, and
00:17:49.839 --> 00:17:52.720
we're together working on tasks at home or whatever.
00:17:52.960 --> 00:17:56.160
And so it's definitely been a transition and
00:17:56.160 --> 00:17:58.599
a shift to things like that and less of those
00:17:58.599 --> 00:18:00.579
spur of the moment. And you're right, some of
00:18:00.579 --> 00:18:03.119
it's seasonal with schedules and things like
00:18:03.119 --> 00:18:05.259
that. And there have been times where I've also
00:18:05.259 --> 00:18:08.839
reflected back to you where sometimes it's like
00:18:08.839 --> 00:18:12.369
if we had It felt like we were constantly running
00:18:12.369 --> 00:18:15.630
around, not getting a lot of like physical rest
00:18:15.630 --> 00:18:18.630
and, you know, always leaving the house. We all
00:18:18.630 --> 00:18:20.630
have those seasons where you're like there's
00:18:20.630 --> 00:18:23.089
you have zero nights at home until like two and
00:18:23.089 --> 00:18:24.529
a half weeks from now. You know, you're looking
00:18:24.529 --> 00:18:26.490
at the calendar like and you have some friends
00:18:26.490 --> 00:18:28.329
who want to play some, you know, play board games
00:18:28.329 --> 00:18:30.450
and you're like, well, I can get you in an October.
00:18:31.470 --> 00:18:34.690
And so in those seasons, I think I also recognized
00:18:34.690 --> 00:18:37.740
where. a few times you were like, hey, why don't
00:18:37.740 --> 00:18:39.880
we go and do and whatever? And I've been listening
00:18:39.880 --> 00:18:42.400
to some language in that season where it's like,
00:18:42.440 --> 00:18:44.099
I'm just really tired and we're going around
00:18:44.099 --> 00:18:46.319
and doing the stuff. And I tend to be more of
00:18:46.319 --> 00:18:48.200
the homebody and more of the breaks on those
00:18:48.200 --> 00:18:50.619
kinds of things anyway. I have to be aware of
00:18:50.619 --> 00:18:52.980
that for sure. And so sometimes I would ask the
00:18:52.980 --> 00:18:55.259
question like, hey, maybe we should consider
00:18:55.259 --> 00:18:59.039
planning some non -activity. And so those are
00:18:59.039 --> 00:19:01.400
just some of those things that we've been...
00:19:01.690 --> 00:19:03.230
like you said, we've been kind of meandering
00:19:03.230 --> 00:19:06.029
through in these changing shifts, right? In these
00:19:06.029 --> 00:19:08.650
seasons and in these transitions. But that's
00:19:08.650 --> 00:19:10.769
really what I love about this book and when we
00:19:10.769 --> 00:19:13.289
read it. And the book is The Elite Leadership
00:19:13.289 --> 00:19:15.569
Blueprint by Brandon Thorne Hill. He's a Navy
00:19:15.569 --> 00:19:18.450
SEAL. The part of this book that I said at the
00:19:18.450 --> 00:19:20.390
beginning, it totally took me by surprise. A
00:19:20.390 --> 00:19:22.470
lot of this other stuff, it was a very practical,
00:19:22.670 --> 00:19:25.789
dense book. We read it back to back because it
00:19:25.789 --> 00:19:29.750
was so rich and full of like practical application.
00:19:30.109 --> 00:19:32.720
But there was a... chapter in there about fun,
00:19:32.859 --> 00:19:36.299
structured, scheduled fun. We will have fun at
00:19:36.299 --> 00:19:39.390
5 p .m. today, you know. And the general idea
00:19:39.390 --> 00:19:43.630
was to plan 15 to 20 minutes of some kind of
00:19:43.630 --> 00:19:47.390
fun activity that is not on any planet productive
00:19:47.390 --> 00:19:50.930
whatsoever. It can be playing a game. It can
00:19:50.930 --> 00:19:53.470
be learning an instrument. Whatever you love
00:19:53.470 --> 00:19:56.690
to do, engaging in that on a daily basis, which
00:19:56.690 --> 00:19:59.250
is something I hadn't even considered before,
00:19:59.470 --> 00:20:02.170
which is crazy because I say all the time, daily
00:20:02.170 --> 00:20:05.190
anything changes everything, right? And so it
00:20:05.190 --> 00:20:07.460
was just, it blew my mind of like, hey. hang
00:20:07.460 --> 00:20:09.700
on just a minute. If that is something that you
00:20:09.700 --> 00:20:13.539
do daily, then, and it is like, I'll be vulnerable
00:20:13.539 --> 00:20:16.680
for a minute. I think when I look back and ask
00:20:16.680 --> 00:20:20.539
myself why I have those judgy feelings towards
00:20:20.539 --> 00:20:23.640
how I used to be, I think there's some of that
00:20:23.640 --> 00:20:26.240
where it's like, if it's not structured, you
00:20:26.240 --> 00:20:29.099
kind of worry about backsliding back. Right.
00:20:29.200 --> 00:20:32.039
So someone that used to be overweight and they
00:20:32.039 --> 00:20:34.859
got they got to a better weight by avoiding carbs.
00:20:34.960 --> 00:20:38.359
I talked to them a lot of times when they reintroduce
00:20:38.359 --> 00:20:40.079
carbs, they get a little nervous because I'm
00:20:40.079 --> 00:20:42.079
like, they're like, I'm afraid like it's going
00:20:42.079 --> 00:20:44.759
to magically explode me up. And it's like, hang
00:20:44.759 --> 00:20:47.160
on. You like you. You don't eat the same things
00:20:47.160 --> 00:20:49.599
you actually exercise. It's not going to have
00:20:49.599 --> 00:20:51.980
the same effect. Carbs aren't the most evil thing.
00:20:52.099 --> 00:20:55.500
But you get in these thoughts of like those ruts
00:20:55.500 --> 00:20:59.329
that contributed to. what we used to be and where
00:20:59.329 --> 00:21:01.950
we moved away from, there's natural concern where
00:21:01.950 --> 00:21:03.630
you're like, if there isn't structure around
00:21:03.630 --> 00:21:05.990
that, will it get out of control again? Will
00:21:05.990 --> 00:21:09.029
I game for over an hour a day like I used to
00:21:09.029 --> 00:21:12.309
when I was young? So if it's 15 to 20 minutes
00:21:12.309 --> 00:21:16.250
a day, that's a very small structured aspect
00:21:16.250 --> 00:21:20.990
that doesn't get out of control. So for me personally,
00:21:21.150 --> 00:21:25.289
who had that concern, games by their very definition,
00:21:26.039 --> 00:21:28.799
are gamified to keep you playing and so you know
00:21:28.799 --> 00:21:30.339
you can have your little cell phone game and
00:21:30.339 --> 00:21:32.740
you can get those little rewards and they want
00:21:32.740 --> 00:21:34.440
you to keep playing and before you know it it's
00:21:34.440 --> 00:21:35.759
been an hour and a half you're like holy smokes
00:21:35.759 --> 00:21:39.059
and so like you have to if you're gonna do this
00:21:39.059 --> 00:21:41.799
in a structured way you're gonna you have to
00:21:41.799 --> 00:21:44.539
set a timer or you have to engage in something
00:21:44.539 --> 00:21:46.980
that you know is a constrained time but even
00:21:46.980 --> 00:21:48.980
just that if you're looking if guys if you're
00:21:48.980 --> 00:21:51.400
looking for a practical application giving yourself
00:21:51.400 --> 00:21:54.660
permission to do something like this 15 to 20
00:21:54.660 --> 00:21:57.680
minutes a day has been very, very interesting
00:21:57.680 --> 00:22:00.420
to play with. I think we've been doing this around
00:22:00.420 --> 00:22:02.779
three to four months now after reading the book,
00:22:02.819 --> 00:22:05.400
and I'm still not doing it every single day.
00:22:05.539 --> 00:22:09.140
Weekdays are the hardest because we get home
00:22:09.140 --> 00:22:14.599
around 5 .30 to 6. You have dinner, that's 30
00:22:14.599 --> 00:22:17.180
to 45 minutes. We go to bed wicked early, not
00:22:17.180 --> 00:22:19.559
because we're old, but because we wake up early
00:22:19.559 --> 00:22:24.119
to go to work out and do our 4Gs and our devotional
00:22:24.119 --> 00:22:27.809
before. the gym and before work and so getting
00:22:27.809 --> 00:22:30.670
ready for the next day and the bedtime routines
00:22:30.670 --> 00:22:33.509
45 minutes at least sometimes even an hour and
00:22:33.509 --> 00:22:35.890
so you're left with like an hour of flex time
00:22:35.890 --> 00:22:38.190
like what can you do with that you know and so
00:22:38.190 --> 00:22:41.930
it seems it's tough to sometimes fit in 15 to
00:22:41.930 --> 00:22:44.630
20 minutes of whatever something you want to
00:22:44.630 --> 00:22:47.549
do when you only have that much of a sliver weekends
00:22:47.549 --> 00:22:49.900
is a little bit different. You're like, okay,
00:22:49.960 --> 00:22:52.279
where can I fit this 15, 20 minutes and those
00:22:52.279 --> 00:22:54.720
kinds of things. So, and for me, it's easier
00:22:54.720 --> 00:22:59.299
now to justify not keeping it until the end,
00:22:59.319 --> 00:23:02.140
the end that never comes, right? Because there's
00:23:02.140 --> 00:23:04.400
always something, uh, because now I know, well,
00:23:04.559 --> 00:23:07.259
let me do these four things. And then after that,
00:23:07.690 --> 00:23:09.869
I'll have my 20 minutes and then after that's
00:23:09.869 --> 00:23:11.950
done, then I'll keep working or keep doing whatever.
00:23:12.170 --> 00:23:14.210
And so I've been kind of playing around with
00:23:14.210 --> 00:23:16.329
the timing and it's been really, really, really
00:23:16.329 --> 00:23:19.150
rewarding, I think. I think fun, just like a
00:23:19.150 --> 00:23:21.109
lot of other things, it's so easy to make an
00:23:21.109 --> 00:23:24.829
excuse to not do it, right? It's the same concept
00:23:24.829 --> 00:23:27.769
of if you don't do the gym first thing in the
00:23:27.769 --> 00:23:30.220
day. There's every reason at the end of the day
00:23:30.220 --> 00:23:32.960
to not do it. You had a rough day at work. Your
00:23:32.960 --> 00:23:35.019
kid needs something. Something else is going
00:23:35.019 --> 00:23:36.660
to come up or I need to do this or I need to
00:23:36.660 --> 00:23:38.839
do that. And so that gets pushed to the wayside
00:23:38.839 --> 00:23:41.099
or even, you know, I mean, there's a million
00:23:41.099 --> 00:23:43.180
other things that could come up. Same things.
00:23:43.740 --> 00:23:46.380
Excuses can happen for anything. And fun can
00:23:46.380 --> 00:23:49.740
be just that same exact kind of way where the
00:23:49.740 --> 00:23:52.420
balance has to come. And it's hard to find that
00:23:52.420 --> 00:23:55.839
balance is between having no fun and then only
00:23:55.839 --> 00:23:59.559
doing slothy kind. of things on an evening and
00:23:59.559 --> 00:24:01.200
a weekend. I'm not saying that we don't need
00:24:01.200 --> 00:24:05.619
those things. I do think that we do need rest
00:24:05.619 --> 00:24:07.779
and we're still trying to figure out and play
00:24:07.779 --> 00:24:10.140
around with like, what does it look like to say
00:24:10.140 --> 00:24:13.619
we're going to schedule a weekend of just rest
00:24:13.619 --> 00:24:17.480
or we're going to schedule a day of, you know,
00:24:17.500 --> 00:24:20.259
no, nothing that we have to do. We're going to
00:24:20.259 --> 00:24:22.259
take a break from the tasks that we have to do,
00:24:22.339 --> 00:24:25.019
knowing that like it will still be there. I think
00:24:25.019 --> 00:24:27.480
that's, for me, like, this concept has really
00:24:27.480 --> 00:24:29.920
been floating around a lot in my brain and been
00:24:29.920 --> 00:24:32.559
really challenged by it, honestly, like, since
00:24:32.559 --> 00:24:36.019
Charlie Kirk died. And Sabbath and rest was one
00:24:36.019 --> 00:24:39.980
of his big core values and have really been challenged
00:24:39.980 --> 00:24:42.420
by the way in which he lived that out. I'm like,
00:24:42.500 --> 00:24:47.140
okay, if a man who ran a crazy big company, like...
00:24:47.369 --> 00:24:50.490
Turning Point USA can put his phone on silent
00:24:50.490 --> 00:24:53.069
on do not disturb for 24 hours and everybody
00:24:53.069 --> 00:24:56.930
knew it and life still went on. How is it that
00:24:56.930 --> 00:25:00.710
we can't do it for 12 hours, for 10 hours, for
00:25:00.710 --> 00:25:02.789
eight? Like even just, I think it comes out of
00:25:02.789 --> 00:25:05.250
communicating with people in our lives saying,
00:25:05.369 --> 00:25:08.210
hey, we're taking a break. We have some family
00:25:08.210 --> 00:25:10.269
members that do that, but I know on Fridays that
00:25:10.269 --> 00:25:13.250
that's their Sabbath day and their phones are
00:25:13.250 --> 00:25:14.910
off. I'm not going to hear from them. So if I
00:25:14.910 --> 00:25:16.769
text them on a Friday, I'm not going to hear.
00:25:17.130 --> 00:25:19.829
from them until Saturday, maybe Sunday. And that's
00:25:19.829 --> 00:25:22.750
okay, right? So I think it's giving ourselves
00:25:22.750 --> 00:25:26.609
permission to live in that rest, to disconnect
00:25:26.609 --> 00:25:31.470
from the utter chaos that can be our lives, but
00:25:31.470 --> 00:25:35.089
to do it in a way that brings purpose and that
00:25:35.089 --> 00:25:38.990
isn't just this unstructured day of nothing.
00:25:39.950 --> 00:25:41.650
It's okay, I'm going to put my phone on do not
00:25:41.650 --> 00:25:43.190
disturb and we're going to play a game today
00:25:43.190 --> 00:25:45.329
or we're going to watch a movie that we've been
00:25:45.329 --> 00:25:48.309
talking about or you know what? You know, we're
00:25:48.309 --> 00:25:51.089
Formula One fans. And so maybe it's that today
00:25:51.089 --> 00:25:53.829
for these two hours, we're going to put our phones
00:25:53.829 --> 00:25:55.849
away and we're going to just sit back and enjoy
00:25:55.849 --> 00:25:58.190
qualifying or the race or whatever that that
00:25:58.190 --> 00:26:00.849
looks like. And so you have to find what that
00:26:00.849 --> 00:26:03.170
rhythm and groove is for you and your family.
00:26:03.309 --> 00:26:06.650
And I think everybody's a level of comfortability
00:26:06.650 --> 00:26:10.509
and maybe even conviction around that can look
00:26:10.509 --> 00:26:12.529
completely different. And for you and I, like,
00:26:12.549 --> 00:26:15.789
we're still navigating what that looks like in
00:26:15.789 --> 00:26:18.859
our marriage. And in our, you know, in our businesses
00:26:18.859 --> 00:26:23.519
and how do we take care of ourselves in regular
00:26:23.519 --> 00:26:26.700
rest that doesn't just wait for the big vacation,
00:26:26.920 --> 00:26:30.039
right? That doesn't just wait for, oh, when we
00:26:30.039 --> 00:26:32.079
have a free weekend. If we don't plan a free
00:26:32.079 --> 00:26:35.329
weekend, it's not. happening. You just, rest
00:26:35.329 --> 00:26:37.569
becomes important when you make it a priority,
00:26:37.769 --> 00:26:40.170
just like any other habit in our lives. And so
00:26:40.170 --> 00:26:41.549
I think that's the biggest thing that we've been
00:26:41.549 --> 00:26:44.230
mulling over and trying to figure out in optimizing
00:26:44.230 --> 00:26:47.869
that and realizing like it is so important to
00:26:47.869 --> 00:26:51.509
our mental, physical, emotional, spiritual well
00:26:51.509 --> 00:26:56.190
-being to take that structured, fun, and rest
00:26:56.190 --> 00:26:59.230
individually, but also together. Yeah, you're
00:26:59.230 --> 00:27:00.730
absolutely right. And I love how you touched
00:27:00.730 --> 00:27:03.670
on that because we've identified things that
00:27:03.670 --> 00:27:07.869
we like to do individually and then those things
00:27:07.869 --> 00:27:10.529
that we can do and have fun together, right?
00:27:10.670 --> 00:27:14.089
And so because we're fortunate enough to carpool
00:27:14.089 --> 00:27:16.869
to work, one of the things we love to do is to
00:27:16.869 --> 00:27:20.759
listen to a fiction book. especially on the way
00:27:20.759 --> 00:27:23.240
to work. On the way home, we're usually debriefing
00:27:23.240 --> 00:27:26.539
from about work stuff. And so it's not always
00:27:26.539 --> 00:27:28.640
something we get to do on the way home. But on
00:27:28.640 --> 00:27:30.960
the way there, usually around 15 to 20 minutes,
00:27:31.160 --> 00:27:33.390
we get to listen to a fun book. And so that's
00:27:33.390 --> 00:27:36.009
been awesome, whether it's Harry Potter or Project
00:27:36.009 --> 00:27:38.710
Hail Mary were some of the most recent ones.
00:27:38.890 --> 00:27:41.329
That full cast edition of Harry Potter. Amazing,
00:27:41.410 --> 00:27:43.890
by the way. So much fun. So, yeah. And so those
00:27:43.890 --> 00:27:45.910
kinds of things, those are the things we do daily.
00:27:46.029 --> 00:27:48.829
And then F1 is a weekly thing when it's not,
00:27:48.849 --> 00:27:52.059
you know, canceled. And then you reflected that
00:27:52.059 --> 00:27:55.759
another thing we do together a lot is intentional
00:27:55.759 --> 00:27:58.559
time with friends. And so we have standing days
00:27:58.559 --> 00:28:01.380
of the week where we have people over or we go
00:28:01.380 --> 00:28:03.880
somewhere. And we've been doing that for over
00:28:03.880 --> 00:28:07.470
10 years. And it's been a huge. impactful thing
00:28:07.470 --> 00:28:10.309
where it's relationships. You know, you got off
00:28:10.309 --> 00:28:13.589
of Facebook during Lent and then it was so enriching
00:28:13.589 --> 00:28:16.490
for you. You realized like, I'm continuing this
00:28:16.490 --> 00:28:18.869
and just the increased connection you talked
00:28:18.869 --> 00:28:21.490
about because you're, you're connecting with
00:28:21.490 --> 00:28:24.309
people now and you're, you're learning to control
00:28:24.309 --> 00:28:25.970
the things that you can control and you're not
00:28:25.970 --> 00:28:27.890
assaulted with a bunch of things that you don't
00:28:27.890 --> 00:28:30.490
have control over. And so those are just, those
00:28:30.490 --> 00:28:32.549
are awesome things that we were running through
00:28:32.549 --> 00:28:34.490
of like, just recognizing the different ways
00:28:34.490 --> 00:28:37.470
that we have discussed. that we like to do this
00:28:37.470 --> 00:28:39.630
and how important it is to have your own thing
00:28:39.630 --> 00:28:42.509
and also the things that, like you said, draw
00:28:42.509 --> 00:28:45.109
you closer together and keep you connected. And
00:28:45.109 --> 00:28:49.630
while we talk a lot about discipline on this
00:28:49.630 --> 00:28:52.509
show and optimization and discipline go hand
00:28:52.509 --> 00:28:55.529
in hand in a lot of respects, that's why I talked
00:28:55.529 --> 00:28:58.140
about... in the most recent episode about how
00:28:58.140 --> 00:29:02.920
discipline can be a prison and when it's taken
00:29:02.920 --> 00:29:07.099
too far, it can actually limit you in certain
00:29:07.099 --> 00:29:09.420
respects. And so definitely give that episode
00:29:09.420 --> 00:29:11.980
a listen because that plays in right here and
00:29:11.980 --> 00:29:15.259
you have to have enough discipline to be disciplined
00:29:15.259 --> 00:29:19.119
about fun and space and rest. And like you said,
00:29:19.220 --> 00:29:21.839
for the right reasons and intentionality are
00:29:21.839 --> 00:29:25.460
important because We've all wasted time. That's
00:29:25.460 --> 00:29:28.500
not the same thing as rest and fun, right? Right.
00:29:28.599 --> 00:29:30.519
And so sometimes you look like, man, where did
00:29:30.519 --> 00:29:33.660
the last four hours go? And you don't feel any
00:29:33.660 --> 00:29:36.099
more rested. In fact, you might feel worse, right?
00:29:36.259 --> 00:29:38.799
And so that's where it becomes even, especially
00:29:38.799 --> 00:29:41.539
if your margins are thinner, I think that's when
00:29:41.539 --> 00:29:44.720
it becomes that much more important to be really
00:29:44.720 --> 00:29:47.259
intentional with the times that you do have.
00:29:47.420 --> 00:29:50.400
And one cool thing that you said today was that
00:29:50.400 --> 00:29:55.170
regardless of how busy, or stressed or any combination
00:29:55.170 --> 00:29:59.529
thereof, that joy is still a choice, right? I
00:29:59.529 --> 00:30:02.009
choose joy. That's the book that we do every
00:30:02.009 --> 00:30:04.630
day with the four Gs. And so it's an intentional
00:30:04.630 --> 00:30:09.089
choice daily to be joyful. And that is not circumstantial.
00:30:09.089 --> 00:30:12.369
And it's not based on how busy or not busy you
00:30:12.369 --> 00:30:15.150
are, or how much rest and fun you've had or not,
00:30:15.150 --> 00:30:18.180
or, you know. If things are not going well and
00:30:18.180 --> 00:30:21.240
not ideal, joy is really something that is a
00:30:21.240 --> 00:30:24.240
choice of that. And so I think that fun and rest
00:30:24.240 --> 00:30:27.160
can be a component of giving you something to
00:30:27.160 --> 00:30:29.720
be joyful about. But like you said, I do love
00:30:29.720 --> 00:30:32.339
how you made that point that. that joy is a choice.
00:30:32.440 --> 00:30:34.400
Yeah. And I think, you know, that got to play
00:30:34.400 --> 00:30:37.400
out actually really practically this week for
00:30:37.400 --> 00:30:39.819
me. There've been some crazy changes at work
00:30:39.819 --> 00:30:42.640
and as a by -product, I'm short some staff and
00:30:42.640 --> 00:30:46.400
had the realization on Thursday late afternoon
00:30:46.400 --> 00:30:49.279
that we didn't have anyone to work in the office
00:30:49.279 --> 00:30:52.720
on Saturday. And the only person that was available
00:30:52.720 --> 00:30:55.680
in any remote kind of way was me. And I had this
00:30:55.680 --> 00:30:58.160
whole vision in my head of like, just make it
00:30:58.160 --> 00:31:00.299
to Friday afternoon. Like all you have to do.
00:31:00.650 --> 00:31:03.950
is get yourself to Friday afternoon at 5 p .m.,
00:31:03.950 --> 00:31:06.710
and then we're going to be great. We can chill
00:31:06.710 --> 00:31:09.130
at home. We can do a movie night. Saturday morning,
00:31:09.329 --> 00:31:11.369
I can wake up. It's supposed to be rainy and
00:31:11.369 --> 00:31:14.730
kind of cool, make a cup of coffee, sit at home
00:31:14.730 --> 00:31:18.650
in my chair, and I'm going to just relax because
00:31:18.650 --> 00:31:23.450
it has been a very good but hard week. And Thursday,
00:31:23.470 --> 00:31:26.829
I was hit very hard with, I am going to need
00:31:26.829 --> 00:31:30.200
to work six days this week. Right. I taking off
00:31:30.200 --> 00:31:32.619
Friday was not not an option in any way, shape
00:31:32.619 --> 00:31:35.660
and form. And so that realization of like, OK,
00:31:35.799 --> 00:31:38.480
well, initially I was really frustrated and I
00:31:38.480 --> 00:31:40.920
was really emotional and I texted you. I think
00:31:40.920 --> 00:31:43.440
I'm going to cry right now. And then I went,
00:31:43.519 --> 00:31:45.819
you know what? This is a choice. Like you can
00:31:45.819 --> 00:31:48.339
go into Saturday and you can be really frustrated
00:31:48.339 --> 00:31:50.140
and you can be really grumpy and you can make
00:31:50.140 --> 00:31:53.240
everybody miserable around you or you can figure
00:31:53.240 --> 00:31:55.900
out how to go. okay, how do I make the best of
00:31:55.900 --> 00:31:59.259
this? How do I figure out how to maybe rest next
00:31:59.259 --> 00:32:01.180
week? And we figured that out. And we're going
00:32:01.180 --> 00:32:03.319
to be able to take a day next week unexpectedly
00:32:03.319 --> 00:32:06.099
and be able to spend some time together. And
00:32:06.099 --> 00:32:07.759
you know, I think we're probably going to go
00:32:07.759 --> 00:32:10.059
on an adventure. And so it's one of those things
00:32:10.059 --> 00:32:12.859
that like, I could have chosen to have been so
00:32:12.859 --> 00:32:16.799
frustrated and so mad and been out of shape and
00:32:16.799 --> 00:32:18.980
mad all day on Saturday. And instead I went,
00:32:19.039 --> 00:32:21.569
okay. well now this is going to be an opportunity
00:32:21.569 --> 00:32:24.529
to hang out and spend some time with some people
00:32:24.529 --> 00:32:26.170
at work that I don't always get to see because
00:32:26.170 --> 00:32:27.769
I'm in a different role and I'm in a different
00:32:27.769 --> 00:32:30.009
space and it gave me some time to get caught
00:32:30.009 --> 00:32:32.250
up on some things heading into this week and
00:32:32.250 --> 00:32:36.230
I'm just I chose in that moment to find joy and
00:32:36.230 --> 00:32:39.009
to find the positives in what might be possible
00:32:39.009 --> 00:32:42.170
in the day rather than being super frustrated
00:32:42.170 --> 00:32:45.329
and super angry about it and that practically
00:32:45.329 --> 00:32:47.930
for me was probably one of those moments lately
00:32:47.930 --> 00:32:51.250
that it was literally an I choose joy moment.
00:32:51.390 --> 00:32:53.950
I wanted to be so mad and so frustrated. I went,
00:32:54.009 --> 00:32:56.000
nope, it's going to be great. great. And you
00:32:56.000 --> 00:32:58.240
know, we, we figured it out and we made the,
00:32:58.240 --> 00:33:00.819
we made the best of the situation. And then today
00:33:00.819 --> 00:33:03.180
that meant today we were going to be intentional
00:33:03.180 --> 00:33:04.660
with the time that we had at home. You know,
00:33:04.680 --> 00:33:06.279
I'd already made some commitments at church.
00:33:06.319 --> 00:33:08.619
And so that meant that I was busier today than
00:33:08.619 --> 00:33:11.279
I would have planned on being, but finding rest
00:33:11.279 --> 00:33:14.160
and relaxation in those moments that we did have
00:33:14.160 --> 00:33:16.339
at home today. And even being able to reflect
00:33:16.339 --> 00:33:18.880
and talk about and plan for this podcast. Like
00:33:18.880 --> 00:33:20.940
it's, it's crazy just how all of those things
00:33:20.940 --> 00:33:25.430
lined up of we. yeah joy is a choice and the
00:33:25.430 --> 00:33:28.029
way that you look at circumstances is a choice
00:33:28.029 --> 00:33:31.549
and so rough week still chose joy and you were
00:33:31.549 --> 00:33:38.369
awarded by lewis hamilton winning today hey first
00:33:38.369 --> 00:33:41.509
win right like we're ferrari fans and so i was
00:33:41.509 --> 00:33:44.950
very excited for that to be a reality and yeah
00:33:44.950 --> 00:33:48.549
just yeah getting to to relax and cheer him on
00:33:48.549 --> 00:33:52.069
and like watch that and enjoy that and just that
00:33:52.069 --> 00:33:54.750
fun that yeah just that fun of watching that
00:33:54.750 --> 00:33:57.630
together yeah and that's it there's nothing productive
00:33:57.630 --> 00:34:00.970
that came out of that except i did nothing productive
00:34:00.970 --> 00:34:04.579
during the race nothing and I needed that. And
00:34:04.579 --> 00:34:07.259
that is totally okay. You know, I didn't even
00:34:07.259 --> 00:34:09.019
like, I wasn't even spending time on my phone
00:34:09.019 --> 00:34:10.960
during the race, which sometimes can happen.
00:34:11.039 --> 00:34:13.679
And I, you know, I was, I was engaged and locked
00:34:13.679 --> 00:34:16.400
in, but like, I'm ready to go into this week.
00:34:17.019 --> 00:34:18.699
rested. And that was because it was something
00:34:18.699 --> 00:34:20.840
that I enjoy doing and I enjoy filling my time
00:34:20.840 --> 00:34:24.340
with it. Like I genuinely feel rested and ready
00:34:24.340 --> 00:34:27.099
to go tomorrow morning. Yep. And I've taken 20
00:34:27.099 --> 00:34:29.659
minutes yesterday and 20 minutes today where,
00:34:29.739 --> 00:34:33.059
you know, I pulled up the, the, the, the track
00:34:33.059 --> 00:34:35.760
of the week and, uh, did it last week with Monaco
00:34:35.760 --> 00:34:37.880
this week with Barcelona. And I was like, I'm
00:34:37.880 --> 00:34:39.980
going to sim race a little bit and see what I
00:34:39.980 --> 00:34:42.599
can do. And it's, it's, there's something, there's
00:34:42.599 --> 00:34:44.840
a cool connection with, uh, with the race week
00:34:44.840 --> 00:34:46.940
when you do the track that. they're doing, you
00:34:46.940 --> 00:34:48.940
know, and then you're like, oh, yeah, that's
00:34:48.940 --> 00:34:51.099
that's where I that's a corner I was having trouble
00:34:51.099 --> 00:34:54.099
with, too. Sweet. So that's the thing, guys,
00:34:54.139 --> 00:34:55.980
like that's that's the three things I would challenge
00:34:55.980 --> 00:34:58.510
you with sleep. We talk about sleep a lot because
00:34:58.510 --> 00:35:01.369
it is something that we don't have perfected,
00:35:01.369 --> 00:35:04.789
but it is so, so critical in the foundation of
00:35:04.789 --> 00:35:07.929
rest. And so that's why it's so important. That's
00:35:07.929 --> 00:35:11.409
why our schedule is so, so routine around sleep
00:35:11.409 --> 00:35:15.050
because it is that foundation. It is the cornerstone
00:35:15.050 --> 00:35:17.650
of everything else. And after that, if you can
00:35:17.650 --> 00:35:19.929
just schedule, my challenge to you is scheduling
00:35:19.929 --> 00:35:23.610
15 to 20 minutes. You can probably, if I say,
00:35:23.630 --> 00:35:26.190
what do you want to do that you've not had time
00:35:26.190 --> 00:35:28.239
to do? do. There's plenty of things that pop
00:35:28.239 --> 00:35:30.599
in your head. And so whatever that is, do it
00:35:30.599 --> 00:35:32.960
for 15, 20 minutes every day is my challenge
00:35:32.960 --> 00:35:35.679
to you. I'm doing that alongside with you and
00:35:35.679 --> 00:35:39.179
trying to remember to do it on the weekdays because
00:35:39.179 --> 00:35:42.039
like we said, those are more compressed. And
00:35:42.039 --> 00:35:44.699
then also find that time to connect with the
00:35:44.699 --> 00:35:46.820
people that are most important to you. So whether
00:35:46.820 --> 00:35:49.159
that be your spouse, your kids, or all of you
00:35:49.159 --> 00:35:52.199
together, dinner time can be, and that's one
00:35:52.199 --> 00:35:54.059
thing, like try to find times that you're gonna
00:35:54.059 --> 00:35:57.760
do anyway. Like for us, it's driving to work
00:35:57.760 --> 00:36:01.000
or when we're carpooling. That is, we're gonna
00:36:01.000 --> 00:36:03.820
spend that time together anyway. So how can we
00:36:03.820 --> 00:36:06.179
do it intentionally to connect and have some
00:36:06.179 --> 00:36:08.539
fun? That has been really helpful, again, when
00:36:08.539 --> 00:36:11.329
your time is compressed. And so when you, have
00:36:11.329 --> 00:36:13.650
crazy schedules and you know, you're not always
00:36:13.650 --> 00:36:15.809
with your spouse or your kids, your family or
00:36:15.809 --> 00:36:17.789
whatever. What are some things that, you know,
00:36:17.889 --> 00:36:19.719
like, okay. Right here, we're all going to be
00:36:19.719 --> 00:36:21.780
together. How can we be intentional with it?
00:36:21.840 --> 00:36:23.880
And that can be a challenge when others are involved,
00:36:23.980 --> 00:36:25.440
like, dang it, we're going to have fun right
00:36:25.440 --> 00:36:29.019
now. But so bringing them around this idea might
00:36:29.019 --> 00:36:31.760
be helpful to communicate that. I challenge you
00:36:31.760 --> 00:36:34.219
to do those three things this next week and see
00:36:34.219 --> 00:36:37.760
how you can reintroduce rest and fun in a different
00:36:37.760 --> 00:36:40.800
way to try to optimize that. 15, 20 minutes isn't
00:36:40.800 --> 00:36:43.099
very much. And so that is something I think can
00:36:43.099 --> 00:36:45.460
be not very, it has not been very disruptive.
00:36:45.820 --> 00:36:48.309
It's been more just trying to remember. to do
00:36:48.309 --> 00:36:50.570
it, right? And so let us know how that went.
00:36:50.750 --> 00:36:52.750
We'd love to hear it. Thanks for listening to
00:36:52.750 --> 00:36:54.969
the Optimizing Beyond podcast. Remember, growth
00:36:54.969 --> 00:36:57.429
happens when you take action. So subscribe, share
00:36:57.429 --> 00:36:59.750
this with a friend, and most importantly, put
00:36:59.750 --> 00:37:01.829
what you learned into practice. Until next time,
00:37:01.849 --> 00:37:04.869
keep moving forward because daily anything changes
00:37:04.869 --> 00:37:05.630
everything.