When a Special Interest Becomes a Dream Fulfilled

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Welcome to the neuro fm podcast, the least digressing neurodivergent
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podcast in the world. So whether you're on the spectrum yourself,
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or maybe you love someone who is, possibly you're curious,
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or maybe your neuro questioning, this is definitely the place
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for you. With your autistic host Jeremy.
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Ruchford, welcome everyone to another episode of neuro FM. I
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am just gonna share a little bit of my heart today,
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So nothing to groundbreaking, but it will give you an
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insight into my life if if that happens to interest you.
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But very recently, as in a couple of days ago,
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got to experience a dream come true. So we'll talk
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about it and then we'll talk about why that matters.
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So I got to do comedy on stage with comedian
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Bob Smiley. Now this probably multiple questions for those of
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you who don't know who Bob Smiley is. Let's start there.
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So Bob Smiley is a Christian comedian and I have
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been aware of Bob's work since early two thousands. So
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back in the Jeremy college days, he loved music, which
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is why I did music for so long and still play.
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It's fun. It is what it is. But did Campus
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Ministry and also did Campus Street Team for two record labels.
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One of them was called in Pop, which was the
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Newsboys label at the time. Now there was called Flicker Records,
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which was Audio Adrenalines label at the time. And in
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Pop had this festival Condius that they were putting on
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and one of their artists was comedian Bob Smiley, and
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it was such a cool idea because he was the
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guy who would come on between sets and just entertain you.
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It was such a brilliant and kind of groundbreaking idea
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because if you think about it, like if you've ever
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been to a festival or even a concert with four
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or five bands, there's a lot of between lag time
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as the openings are moving and then the middle bands
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are moving, and just the idea of having a comedian
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is amazing. And so what makes Bob so prolific other
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than his just ability, is he was the first clean
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comedian that Charity and I could agree on. So before
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faith mattered in my life, I was very very raunchy, right,
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very much MTV when MTV had videos very much sort
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of like in Living Color, early Simpsons stuff like that.
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You know, to go from that to clean Christian comedian
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Bob Smiley. It was kind of groundbreaking in her life,
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and Bob Smiley was one of the first people that
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her and I actually agreed on for comedy. And so
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you know, there's there's like three people in Charity's life
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that made her think I was cool. One Tony Atwood.
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So y'all heard the podcast with Doctor Stephanie and I
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interviewing Tony Atwood, So that was cool for my wife.
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My wife thought I was cool in that moment. Another
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is Jarza Clay. My wife's a huge Jars a Clay fan,
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and in the same way I enjoy Bob Smiley. One
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of my favorite bands of all time is a Christian
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band called Small Town Poets. Absolutely love Small Town Poets
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and ended up working with their guitar player, so we
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ended up actually becoming friends. And so when they did
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a CD release party, they did it in Jars of
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Clay's studio when we lived in Nashville, and so I
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was invited. Charity was my plus one, and she just
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thought it was the coolest thing that we were hanging
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out in Jars of Clay studio listening to the Small
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Town Poets. That was the best of both Worlds. And
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then third on the list was Bob Smiley and so
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got to do a show with him literally a couple
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days ago, and it was absolutely a dream come true.
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And I've known, like I've personally known Bob for a
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while because and I don't know how much you guys
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know about this, but I actually do comedy. It's one
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of the things that's a special interest of mine. It is, like,
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I find it very cathartic, and I find it as
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a great replacement for sarcasm, because my comedy isn't rooted
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in sarcasm. It's rooted in just the observational mind of
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like the autistic right. So I'll sit there and I'll
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think about things that, when I say them out loud
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to some people are funny, Like some jokes that I've written.
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Are you know, at what point does the overweight psychic
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loose the right to call themselves a medium? Or you know,
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I wonder if Jesus' followers thought he was tripolar. You know,
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just things like that where you just you look at
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it and you're like, you know, if you work for
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Planters Distribution, it's literally your job to drive people nuts,
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and it's just those little observations that you corral them
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enough and it's like, oh, I've got a little bit
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of a set, and to give context, let's make this
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full story time. So again, this is not going to
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be a massively impactful podcast unless you enjoy storytelling and
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just wanting to learn more about my background and how
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we got to neurofam. So this all kind of started with,
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you know, the festival Condius being a fan of Bob.
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I myself never intended to be a comedian. What ended
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up happening, though, was when I wrote my first book,
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The Gospel of Coined at Shelby, which kind of documents
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the emotional and the spiritual struggle of losing two hundred pounds.
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I wrote it in a very comedic way. Growing up,
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I was forced to read a lot of books, as
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I'm sure many of you were right, and I don't
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want to I don't want to diss on any of
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the standardized readings, but like to Kill a Mockingbird where
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the red fern grows, like, these were not things that
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excited me, Like this was work, And it wasn't until
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I got out of college and was actually working in
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a bookstore. There were two books that genuinely changed my life.
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One was Velvet Elvis by Rob Bell, really good book
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about faith. And the book that really changed my life
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was a book called flash Bang, and the whole idea
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if you know what flash bangs are. Flash bangs are
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a detonation device that you throw into crowds that create
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the whole aesthetics imagery, all the shebang of a bomb
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going off or a grenade, but they don't actually leave
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an impact. And that was what the whole book was
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about with your faith, like are you actually living your
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life in a way where you're leaving an impact with
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those you meet? Or are you simply a flash bang
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where you put on all the charade of Christianity but
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at the end of the day you make no impact.
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And the way that book was written, it was like
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nothing I had ever read before, and I'm not gonna lie.
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It made me go, wait a minute, this is what
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books can be. So it was just a very humorous,
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honest telling of this guy's testimony, which led to the
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idea of what are you doing with this life? What
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are you doing with this testimony? And so seeing the
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book written that way, when I sat down to kind
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of write out my story with weight and the struggle
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and all of that. I wrote it and it turned
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out being very humorous, like people enjoyed that kind of storytelling,
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that kind of yin and yang, where I'm being very
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deeply emotionally vulnerable about my food addiction and about my
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body image issues and about all the things I did
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with my compuls compulsatory eating, but also having this sort
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of like tongue in cheek humorous effect of how that
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perspective helped get me through the darkest of times. And
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so what ended up happening was people read this book
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and they'd go, oh, my gosh, if you write this funny,
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you're gonna be very funny on stage. Which fun fact. No, no,
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that is not an ad to be correlation, because, as
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I learned, the way you write for a book is
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way different than the way you write for comedy. So
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comedy is all about brevity. Comedy is all about just
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value stacking and word economy. Writing on the other hand,
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and to an nth degree, public speaking as well, you're
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drawing visual pictures with your words. You're getting elaborate. It
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might take you a minute or two to get to
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the point because you've got to visually set that table
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through your words, and so I took that whole idea
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of writing into comedy, and a surprise, it was terrible.
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I was an awful comedian at first, but there was
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something about it that was very alluring. And this was
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all happening before we knew I was on the spectrum.
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But living in Nashville, got to be around like a
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lot of really cool comedians, whether it was you know,
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Nate Pragatzi, Johnny W Dusty Slay, doing some of these
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shows with these guys and just seeing how cool it was.
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And so there was a guy named Rick Roberts who
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actually put on a comedy class, and so took that
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there's the writing and the performing of comedy. Took both
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of those. Got some insider hookup with Johnny W. So
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to definitely appreciate him. He was a huge comedy angel
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in all of this, But in learning how to do
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comedy and in looking back at how I used humor
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for weight loss, I realized that there was a therapeutic
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link to comedy and that was kind of the basis
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of the Ted talk I did. So I ended up
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doing a Ted talk around the idea of is laughter
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the secret weapon to weight loss? For two reasons. One
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laughter actually does reduce cortisol, Like cortisol is the predominant
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stress causing hormone in your body, and laughter actually reduces cortisol.
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And what I find with eating and would go on
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to learn in this work that we do here at
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neurofam stress in general, right, a lot of people eat
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out of stress. And so what I found was instead
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of going to food for that stress relief, I started
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going to comedy. And the more I went to comedy,
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the more I started seeing the patterns of how comedy
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is written. And so I started making jokes about myself.
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Like one of the most, like the one of the
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earliest jokes I ever wrote was when I was looking
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in the mirror and I noticed I was going gray
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and just thinking, like, man, you know, if I had
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black hair, I would look so good with the just
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sexy salt and pepper vibe. But like when you're a ginger,
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you don't get salt and pepper, like you get cinnamon sugar,
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and like no one thinks that's attractive. And like I
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literally thought this, and the way I ended up writing
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some of my comedies. I'd write these things down that
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I thought were just very funny. And I would have
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a few friends and I would pitch them those jokes
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as though someone else had written them, because we were
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all into comedy. And I'd be like, hey, you know,
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I don't I saw this joke on YouTube the other
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day and I here here it is. Did it went?
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And then I'd say my joke And if they thought
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was funny, I would be like, Okay, I gotta figure
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out who that is and I'll send you the link.
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And I never told most of them that I was
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the actual writer. But that allowed me to beta test
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without any preconceived notion, because when when you tell your
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friends you're doing something, quite often your friends are very supportive,
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right like they're gonna be the ones who are saying, oh, no, Jeremy,
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you're hilarious. All the while they're thinking, dude, stop, just
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you're not funny. But that was the way I was
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able to beta test a lot of the early material
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and a lot of the stuff I was researching for
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the Ted Talk is bring these ideas, bringing these jokes
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to my friends and saying, hey, I heard this on
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YouTube or heard this on dry bar or something, and
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if they thought was funny, I knew a keeper and
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if they didn't think it was funny, then we never
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talked about it again. But it began this kind of
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appreciation for comedy and being in the church. I was
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around a lot of Christian comedians, the Christian Comedian Association
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at Nashville, so I would go there every year, and
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you just get to network and you get to refine
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the work that you do. Rick himself, Christian John w
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like all these great guys, good men of faith. So
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just seeing them starting to do comedy, and what I
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found during the weight loss era is it would be
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challenging to have speaking engagements sometimes to talk about a
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biblical approach to weight loss, because there's a lot of
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people who struggle with weight, but they don't want to
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look at through the lens of the gospel because that
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it's just an uncomfortable conversation. And so what I found
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what happened is I would offer to do clean comedy
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at a church. They'd book me to do clean comedy
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for either a youth event or like a men's retreat
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or something, and then in the comedy I'd share a
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little bit about my weight loss story and then they'd go, oh,
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my gosh, would you share this at our church or
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would you share this at our men's group or a
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women's retreat. And I almost started using comedy as a
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way to open the door to get into churches to
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then share the message that I was really concerned about.
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And so kind of did this dance in the twenty teens,
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if you will, between comedy and speaking and comedy and
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coaching and comedy and writing. And it made sense because
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I had spent the early two thousands as a touring musician,
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so it was like it was a very similar lifestyle.
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But comedy never quite went away. Like I would always
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write these and I still have like pages of jokes
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that I would write because it would really help me regulate.
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So once I got the diagnosis, the autism diagnosis, I
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can look back and go, Okay, I can see why
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my literal thinking would be humorous to other people. So
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like I'll still have these observations where if someone was
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a gardener and they got their soil delivered to them
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ups ground, it's the most literal thing you could do,
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Like that's hilarious to me, but it's also like it
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could be a joke. You know, take something like under armour,
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the apparel, you know, I'll look at someone as I have,
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like I'll see people wearing under armor hoodies or under
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armored jackets and it's like, I think you're doing that wrong,
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because ironically, it's it's telling you it's designed to be
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under something and you're wearing it as an over and
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so being able to see the misdirection in that is
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just that's humorous to me. And so I found that
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just the art of writing comedy and not even pursuing it,
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but just writing it was very regulating for me. And
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I didn't know why. I just it was very peaceful
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and I appreciated the challenge. And you know, fast forward
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do we get the autism diagnosis and it's like, oh
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my gosh, this makes sense. This is so much better
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than being sarcastic. This is a much healthier outlet for wordplay.
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This is very calming and soothing and cathartic. It allows
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me to be creative, but instead of being insulting like
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I used to be with the sarcasm, I can just
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be ironic, you know, I can. I can just do
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stuff like that. And then you know, once the kids
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got involved, ended up making some dad jokes, because who
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doesn't like dad jokes, and so you know, I would
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think about how can we take modern twists, like what
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would it what would what would a pirate joke need
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to be? Well, well, i'll tell you the joke and
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then i'll tell you I mean, I'll tell you the
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joke real quick. So how did the pirate fix the
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alphabet with his eye patch? Right? So like everyone is
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going down the path of R because that's what pirates do.
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And I'm like, yeah, but there's an eye patch. That's
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that's no one's thought of that yet, right, And you know,
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again try and trying to entertain the kids. You know, hey,
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why was the Toddler airplane so upset at the idea
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of being punished because he knew the trouble was terminal? Right,
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Like things like that where it's just like oh right,
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But again, they're dad jokes. They're supposed to be cringe.
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But the idea of being able to use comedy and
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dad jokes as a way to just connect with my
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kids again very cathartic and so kind of fast forward
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to present day where maybe I'll do a comedy show
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once a year, maybe twice a year. We're definitely more
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focused on the speaking aspect of the autism and the
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neurodiversity and the marriages and and just all of that
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stuff like that's definitely the focus of the coaching and
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the teaching and stuff like that. And so many people
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that I work with will say, like, this is unlike
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anything I've done before, And they'll say, like, you know,
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coaching with you is way better than therapy because I
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don't actually feel bad about myself when I'm done, Like
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I feel like I got solid direction and I don't
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feel crappy, So thank you. And then you know, whether
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it's just that's my style or subconsciously, I know that
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humor reduces cortisol, and quite often in these stressful conversations
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we're dealing with real issues. And like, I go back
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to my dad, who whenever he would get really upset,
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he would laugh, and like I just it was so weird.
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I'm like, why why is my dad laughing when I
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broke his mom's vase, Like that was a priceless heirloom.
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I don't understand why he's laughing at this, but okay,
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And then my sister would be like, you broke, Dad,
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you broke And now I know I didn't break Dad.
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I knew that my dad knew who My dad was
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a psychologist, like I now know that he knew that,
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so he didn't give me corporal punishment. He was going
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to laugh till he was calmed down and then he
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could punish me appropriately. And so just again using humor
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in the appropriate way. As well as understanding facial expressions,
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understanding social clues cues both understanding both social cues and
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social clues, just comedy has mattered a lot to me.
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And so to sort of tie all this together and
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to be able to open for Bob was absolutely amazing.
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And so will this go anywhere? I don't know. I'll
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probably still beyond I'll still probably be on target to
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do one comedy a show a year. There is some
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internal debate of should we do more comedy, to maybe
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use clean comedy to have conversations about mental health? Actually,
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I would love your opinion on that, Like, what do
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you all think? I have a really great mentor in
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my life who one of her concerns about me being
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upfront about the comedy is that it though it's on brand,
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and it seems to be a contradiction of the seriousness
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of what we do with our coaching and how much
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of a mental health initiative, it is, and I can
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totally understand her perspective, and so, you know, I don't
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want to come off as some flippant jokester who doesn't
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take this seriously, you know. But on the other hand,
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knowing the science of humor and knowing that having a
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lighter approach to some of these deeper conversations has actually
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saved some marriages and it has actually broke some of
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the tension that has allowed couples to actually have conversations.
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And it's also helped with a lot of my younger clients,
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who you know, in working with a lot of the
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youth to help them build self confidence. It helps me
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relate because I'm still doing things that put me in
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front of people. It's still uncomfortable. I mean, you never
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really get over the reality that you're going in front
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of thirty forty five hundred one thousand people with just
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you and your thoughts. But being able to be confident
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in who you are and have that adaptability and resilience
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is something that is as applicable on stage as it
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is in school or your relationship or anything. So I'm
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still like, like most autistics, I'm gonna overthink it, and
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I still intend to do a comedy show or two
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a year. Something that we've done and we're really working
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on is getting Jonathan involved, because Jonathan's done some comedy.
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Jonathan's a pretty funny dude. He writes jokes, and that's
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another way that he and I can bond. So I
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don't know if we'll keep doing it to a scalable degree.
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I don't know. The future is wide open. But I
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would actually like, because you're listening, if you've gotten this far.
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First off, thank you so much, But I would love
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your opinion, Like, what is your thoughts on Jeremy doing comedy,
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Like is that something you think I should pursue more
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or do you also feel like, nah, it's kind of
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confusing as a brand, Like you're writing material to save
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marriages and then you're also writing a joke book that
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doesn't make sense. Yeah, okay, maybe I don't know, but
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that's that right, Like again autistic, I'm gonna overthink it,
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and then I'm gonna have anxiety that I make the
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wrong choice. So yay letters, But I would love your thoughts, right,
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shoot an email Jeremy at neurofam dot com or NEUROFM
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dot com if you like. But I just wanted to
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share that with you, because no matter what happens, right,
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no matter what happens for the rest of my life,
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I have hit the mount rushmore of my wife's fandom.
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I have done something relevant to all the people she
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thinks are famous. And the only asterisk to that is
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like non muppet things like I don't think I'll ever
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do anything muppet wise, but to the extent that I
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could do within the Christian entertainment and neurodiverse entertainment realm,
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I have checked all three boxes of relevancy and coolness
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in her world. So, no matter what happens, last Weekend
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apps amazing. If you haven't, please check out Bob Smiley.
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He is super funny. If you think it might actually
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be a good idea to bring me to your church
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or any event to do clean comedy, shoot me a message.
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If you want to make it a family event, We'll
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bring Jonathan. We'll have a good time. But yeah, I'd
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love your thoughts, And if you don't have any thoughts,
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I appreciate you listening. This has been NEUROFM. Thank you
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for this editorial. I don't even know what this is.
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This is just me sharing my heart to those who listen,
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who care enough to tune in. But it was it
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was really important to me, and it was really exciting.
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And you guys are my friends. You guys are kind
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of my family as well, and so I would share
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this with my friends and family. So I'm sharing it
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with you. So dream accomplished. If I can help you
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accomplish your dreams in any way, regardless of what it
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looks like, if it's in the neurodiverse realm, I am
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here to help. Please give me a message Jeremy at
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neurofam dot com. This has been neurofm. Thank you so
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much for listening. We'll talk soon.
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Take care. Thank you for listening to the neurofm podcast.
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Please remember to like, subscribe, rate, and review. Your participation
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really does help. Also, please check out our presenting sponsor,
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00:23:19.039 --> 00:23:24.720
Neurofam at neurofam dot com. Thank you