Coaching a High-Performing Founder: A Live Mental Performance Session

Welcome to Mental Performance Unleashed with Emily Heird. Welcome back to Mental Performance Unleashed. I'm Emily Heird, Licensed Psychotherapist, and Mental Performance Mastery Coach, and I help high-performing attorneys and legal leaders build the mental skills required for sustainable elite performance. Today's episode is a little different. I'm joined by Dennis DM. Meador, founder and CEO of the Legal Podcast Network. Dennis works with thousands of attorneys across the country and understands firsthand the pressure high-performance operate under. In this episode, we're stepping into a live mental performance conversation. Looking at what sustained leadership pressure does to cognitive clarity, decision-making, and recovery, and how high-performing founders can train their minds the way elite athletes train their bodies. Dennis, welcome. I'm very excited to be on the show. Emily, ever since we first met, months back, and I found out what you're doing, your approach to it, I was super excited to have you on the network, and now we get to spend some time together, get to know each other a little bit, so I'm ready for you to pick my brain, bear all before the world, and let's dig in and see if we can't be a help to each other, and more importantly to those who are watching and listening. Sounds great. So, damn, as you think about leading and scaling your company right now, where do you experience the most sustained cognitive strain? Would you say it's decision volume, responsibility, speed, unpredictability, or something else? I would say it's unaligned responsibility. That has really been my drag lately. I just had a leadership meeting yesterday, and I said, listen, guys, I love all of you, but when I'm sitting in this meeting, and we're talking about onboarding processes, and we're talking about calendar issues and fixes and things, I was like, this is work to me. Now, when I'm in my strong suit, when I'm in my place, like where I am right now on camera, when I am working with my sales team, my setting team, when I'm working with marketing and initiatives and things like that, that's not work to me. That's just me thinking out loud. But when I get into these areas of my company where it's not really my area of expertise, it's not an area where I feel strong. Sure, I can use common sense, and I can use my own user experience to apply it. But ultimately, that is where I get dragged down as when it's misaligned with the actual things that I'm involved in. That makes sense. Yeah, so when that demand increases for you, when that friction shows up, what patterns show up for you first? Would you say it is increasing the speed at which you work, taking on more yourself, kind of that extra responsibility piece, do you tend to tighten standards, do you expand your availability for your staff or does something else show up? Well, I think that it's a couple different things, and it depends on the situation. Like in this area, in particular, I tend to shrink a little bit. I tend to just try to back away from things and shrink up and be like, oh, I'll decide that tomorrow. I'll handle that next week. And I tend to put things off because I don't feel confident in like I do in other areas where I expect, nope, do this, nope, do that. So I would say that that's probably the biggest negative thing that I find myself doing is I tend it withdrawal. And when that happens, I tend to not be, have that filter of pleasantness that I try to have with my team. And I feel it, like I feel myself constantly saying, I'm not mad at you. I'm just frustrated at the situation that we're in. I'm not mad at you. I'm just trying to get to this decision. So that's really been the thing that, you know, when I get into that situation, what I tend to do. And that's why I want to get out of the place. So I'm hearing there's a little, there's some, some, like you said, withdrawing. You want to hide some procrastination when you feel like this isn't your zone of genius or your zone of competence. And then that, that irritability, that internal tension comes up for you. Absolutely. So how does that pattern affect your ability to operate strategically versus staying in execution mode? You mentioned a little bit about, you know, procrastinating. And, and that bringing out that part of you. Is there any, any other way that that affects your ability to operate or execute? Well, what I try to do is when I find myself in those places, when I find myself getting irritated, I know something's not right. So I try to get to the root source. So, like, for example, with this situation, yes, I've, like, kind of dove in on a few things, but then it's like a re delegation of things where I'm like, okay, I'm handling these things. But, do I need to be handling these things? Or do I have a person that's supposed to take ownership and I'm a little frustrated that they haven't executed my vision, 100% the way that I want it. So I've kind of inserted myself into a place. So I try to figure out where have I inserted myself, versus where I, am I needed? And then once I decide, okay, I've inserted myself, let me back off and trust them. Then I start tackling the things where I'm needed. And what I try to then do is set up systems around where I'm needed. For example, we are interviewing a fractional director of operations to kind of come in and handle all this stuff that I've been handling the last few months. So, you know, it's one of two things. It's either just delegate off, you know, or, you know, pull myself out of things and trust the people who've been delegated, which is hard sometimes. And then the other one that I tend to do is, let's fix, because if you have a problem that keeps cropping up over and over, it's not a problem, it's a process issue. And so I'm trying to fix the issue of the process that then allows me to then step away from that and stay in my zone of genius. Mm-hmm. Yeah. So I'm hearing a strong mental skill of awareness. So you have awareness on your part of, you know, what is the root of this? Is it an issue A or issue B? And you have a system to solve for either one of those issues. Awareness is a very strong, it's very important mental skill. And I love that you reflect on what exactly is going on before you take action there. So when I look at cognitive strain and high-performing leaders, I tend to see it show up in a few areas. You know, one is around decision density. There are so many decisions that have to be made every single day. Constant context switching, which is very important, you know, the expensive energy wise, the emotional weight of the responsibility, and then rural diffusion. Does one of those feel most dominant for you right now with where your company is? Yeah, I feel like that's something that I feel a lot of strain with, a lot of stress with. It's just like, because I'm just like, I'm so focused on, okay, oh, we've got this in marketing. Oh, we're going to get this cadence and we're going to do this. And let's write this. And you know, I just, again, we're going to have to hit the brakes, stop, and not just stop and pivot real quickly, because like, I can pivot for marketing the sales real quickly, but when I have to pivot from marketing all the way over to CS and onboarding processes and things like that, it almost feels like I have to like, like, I've never done this, but I think we've all thought, like, what if I was going down the road at like 90 miles an hour and then I just threw it into park? That's what I feel like. I feel like I'm like throwing it into park or reverse and going like, and then stopping and then being able to do it. So, that's definitely the biggest drag is switching from one to the other. I don't really have like, I think one of them was not the word imposter syndrome, but just basically like feeling like you shouldn't be doing that, like that drag down from that. That's never really, never really something I struggle with. And I don't think most high performers, I mean, you know, we hear about imposter syndrome, but to me, I'm like, if I hear somebody talking about imposter syndrome, that's probably because they aren't that person, that is that high performer, that high mental acuity. It's very rare for me and people that I know, that I talk to in my sort of position for us to sit around and go, well, I really shouldn't be here. Like, we all feel like we should be here. We just want to be better at being here. Mm-hmm. Yeah. So, then that extreme switch from, you know, marketing to CS, CS is using completely different parts of your brain, whereas if you're going from marketing to sales, that's going to be somewhat similar areas of the brain. So that might be why you feel the need to, you know, pull the emergency brake there. So, do you, do you use any sort of strategies, knowing that that is, that is a real drain on your energy and your performance and the demand, do you use any strategies to minimize and conserve cognitive energy when you have all these various hats that you're wearing as the CEO? I try to do what I call stacking. So, like, Mondays are meetings and trainings and things like that, where it's very much in my team, stats, data, fixing problems. I know that's what it is. My mind's ready for it. So, Monday, I do that. Now, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, I try to be in front of the camera. I try to be, you know, meeting with pinch of clients, referral partners, whatever it is, I tend to be what I call, you know, customer facing, whether it's on scale, like in a podcast, or whether it's on, you know, whatever. And then Friday, I try to make it my wrap up, you know, so I know it's a little hodgepodge of everything. So, I found that by segmenting and stacking, like, you know, if I could do three, four podcasts in a row, those three, four podcasts are going to be a lot better than if in the middle of a day, I do a podcast here, and then I switch gears, and I do a podcast on Thursday. So, by stacking my, my tasks, according to what types of tasks they are, that tends to allow me to not get as frustrated in different types of tasks, by simply just structuring my days that way. Yes, that is very smart. Smart move to do task batching, and even sounds like you have some, somewhat like theme days. So, you're your entire days are dedicated to a certain area of your business, which definitely is strategic. And when making important decisions, when do you notice your judgment is strongest? And when does it begin to feel more reactive or fatigued? So, I've had to teach myself with decisions with my background, and, you know, really coming from an authoritarian type of situation growing up. I grew up in, like, very right-wing type churches where the pastor says it, and then I was the pastor for 20 years. I was a business owner. So, I kind of was used to that authoritarian, like, sort of, top down what I say goes to the point where they weren't even really asking others. And what I've been able to do here, and I start, I set out to do this from the beginning, is to surround myself with people who I move into, like, a director type of position. And then I empower them and enable them for their areas, but then once a week we come together, and I come in, and I'll be like, hey guys, I've got this idea. And sometimes they're like, this is great. And, you know, sometimes they're like, what were you thinking? And, you know, I have to, you know, because there's a part of me that's like, I don't have to listen to what they say. My name's on the certificate. I'm the guy, you know what I mean? But then it's like, wait a minute. Like, I need to value the life experience, the perspective, the intelligence, and the opinion of those people that I have specifically placed around me that I've told them over and over. I don't want to sick a fan. I don't want yes men. I want people who will say, are you sure that's right? Are you sure you're doing the right thing? So that when that time comes, I can't get frustrated that they're doing the exact thing that I have strongly encouraged them to do, which is, when I come in with an idea that maybe sounds great to me, not such a great idea across the board. And what I think of real quick is, I talked to some folks that had to do with TEDx, and they were like, listen, we can have you going out, but we want you to talk about this specific subject had nothing to do with our company. And so I would have been running around for a few months at a time, going to all these TEDx, talking about some personal things of my life, blah, blah, blah. And I was all excited about it. And I went to my team, and they were like, you know, we're glad for that. But I mean, shouldn't we be focused on what we're doing here? And like, if it's not going to move the company forward, should you really be looking at it? And I was just like, I knew they were going to say that, you know? But so you have to be willing to hold yourself accountable to the very things that you set up, or you're going to put yourself in a position where you're just like what I say is, don't create your own echo chamber of awesome, where everyone just goes, wow, that's great idea. You're right. We should all work with no hands. That's brilliant boss. We should just type with our noses. That's all we need to do from now on, right? So by putting those people around you who aren't afraid to say, we probably should use hands when we work. Instead of go, you're right boss. I think that's been integral to a lot of helping me stay on the path. So you've built this high performing team of experts that you trust their opinions, you trust their judgments, and then you've also built a culture where not only is it okay to push back against you, but you invite that and you want that as you are building your company. I know that it's not an easy thing because I'm a pretty strong personality. And I'm like one of those people, I'm like, hey, you can come to me and say you don't agree, but you better be ready to argue on why you don't agree. I never have from anybody take it just a yes-no. If you've got a no, give me a no, make it make sense, make it logical, but if I understand and I agree, I'll go, you're right, I'm going to follow you. So being willing to just kind of buy into that, but also have space to challenge and be yourself. And that's why it takes a special kind of strength of a person to work with me. What performance standard do you think that you hold yourself to that may actually be increasing the mental demand of your role? Kind of something that is brought on by the way that you operate. Well, I grew up learning a philosophy that says everything rises and falls on leadership. And that is not completely scalable as you grow a business. And so I try to, you know, it's kind of like expansion, contraction, like kind of get in, look around, see if I see anything, if I don't see anything, like all right, good job guys. And then back off. But what ends up happening is like, I'll, I'll expand into something. I'll see something that isn't quite the way that I thought it should be. Or like I pay attention to all of our content from our clients and look at it and, you know, does it look good? Am I happy the way it looks in the feed, blah, blah, blah, blah. Like that's not completely scalable. And so that's a lesson that I've had to learn. As a leader is, yes, everything rises and falls on your leadership. But at the end of the day, there has to be some areas where you can step away in 100% not worry about it. And I have a few departments like that. This division right here that works with you and the other ones who shoot shows with us. Carrie runs it and all of her team. And I literally worry this much about it every week. And it's wonderful. I have another division. Saw the same thing. He runs all of our fulfillment. I worry this much about it. But I still got six other divisions that I'm just like, so I can't wait to get to that point where I am able to step away mentally and emotionally and know that it's 100% taken care of. That, you know, I've got checks and balances in place. I've got my vision in place. I've got the procedures in place. And it's going to keep moving the way that it's supposed to. Awesome. Yeah. The importance of trusting your team. So last question for today. You know, a lot of the majority of the clients that I work with really struggle with the idea of integrating and integrating recovery into work as a strategy for sustainable elite performance. I'm curious is recovery an area where you see it as a strength of yours or an area of improvement? So this is a work in progress of about 12 years. Because you know, first started in business in my early teens, serious in my early 20s. I've been a hard charger. I had one or two businesses past her in a church full time, had three children kind of like, you know, I believe for decades every moment must be monetized. Then at 36 years old fell on my back for a year and a half thought I had MS turned out I just had a nervous breakdown. I could work about 10 hours a week. And because of my skill set, I was able to still provide what I needed to provide for my family. But the last 12 years of learning like, okay, you don't have to work 20 hours a day. You don't have to work six, seven days a week. You don't have to do all of these things and be successful. You can pace yourself. And that's why I talk a lot about pacing and life flow. So for example, I live on an island in Belize. So, you know, every, not every day, but three, four, five days a week. I walk about 20 feet that way and I look at one of the most beautiful sunsets that you can see anywhere. I've seen it in my life. I can walk about 100 yards that way and be right on the beach. You know, enjoying the Caribbean sea and boats and docks and all of that. I take my dog for a walk, you know, evenings, weekends. Like I turn my phone off a lot of times on the evenings and especially on the weekends completely turn it off. Because I know if I'm going to check my LinkedIn, how am I moving on LinkedIn? How's this going? You know, oh, look, Carrie asked me a question to think I need to answer it. So I've had to listen to it two o'clock. Like, so I've had to teach myself and I think put a lot of boundaries around myself. That it's like, sometimes I'm like, I am a grown man. Why do I have to turn my cell phone off, not to be on it? But the truth is, I do. Yeah. So I really think like I'm doing a much better job at it. I have a wife whose cognizant of it. So even when we travel, you know, we work a few days, but, you know, I'm sure I have time off. She makes sure that when we're spending time together, that I'm not just there, but I'm present. So I'm very fortunate in that, not just for myself, that determination. But I have people around me who have seen that importance of what happens when I just get wound up and keep going. And they notice the signs and they call me out on it. So, you know, I've thought about whether it's a report, a book, a video series. But like the concept of, it takes a village to raise an entrepreneur, like no accomplished long term. Now, I'm not talking about a 22 year old short term that just grinds. I'm talking about a long term accomplished entrepreneur is ever there solely by themselves. They have support staff. They have people that, you know, in their family partner, whatever, there are several people around them that support them. I have a business coach. I have a therapist. I have a marriage therapist that we do preemptive marriage counseling. I have a business or I have a psychiatrist. I have, you know, health people, like all these people, my wife who does this, like all of these people that are watching me, who I've said, listen, if I just go on my own in my natural state, I will wear myself to the bone. Watch out for these things. And if you see this, say this to me. And well, that's our magic word. You know, it's like our safe word, but for a different reason. So we have safe words that kind of just let me know, hey, I see you. And you don't see what you're seeing what I'm seeing. So calm down a little bit. So that's been integral in burnout and all of that is because not just the self determination and the self monitoring. But the people around me that love me and care about me enough to say, hey, you're not being yourself. You need to calm down a little bit. I love that. Yeah. And experiencing burnout, the body just shutting down like that forces us to to change. And it's one of those moments in life that, you know, I've had one of those that just kind of completely turns the world around. And it's great that you have support and systems and barriers to prevent you from getting back there. And then not only that, but as the CEO of the company, you know, your employees follow what you model. So if you are modeling, disconnecting, being off your phone, you know, it's okay to take, you know, more than 10 minutes to respond to an email that work life balance, then they feel the permission to do that themselves. Absolutely. Absolutely. I'm so proud of the fact that when I hop on on the weekend on to our like, it's not slack. It's called Rome. And it's like slack times 100. It's really awesome. But it's our inter office like sort of virtual company way that we connect. And I get on there on like a Saturday and I'm like, nobody's on here. Or I get on there like a 730 at night. No one's on here. I get here on a Sunday. No one's on here. I'm proud of that. So I don't look at it and go, why don't I have anybody in here getting some work done caught up. Matter of fact, just Friday night, somebody at 730 was on there. And I was like, hey, it's 730. Why are you inside of Rome? And they just disconnect. They even say anything. They just like got off. I got disconnected. There's like, oh, he caught me. So that's definitely a part of our culture because listen, I don't want to, I don't want to end up where I was. And I don't want anybody that works with me to end up in a place where. I have some sort of like anxiety to the point where it causes panic attacks, nervous breakdowns, things like that, you know, to me, work is what we do to pay for who we are. And, you know, so many people define themselves by what they do for a living, whereas I'm just like, that should be the last part of your definition. I'm this, this, this, this, and this. And oh, by the way, I do this to fund that. That's my philosophy. Yes, that identity piece is huge. Well, high performance is not about increasing effort indefinitely, as Dennis just was talking about. It's about building systems that protect clarity, decision quality, and long term sustainability. Elite athletes trained deliberately and leaders should to, if you want practical science back strategies to strengthen your mental fitness and operate more like an intellectual athlete. Visit my website at vantageviewcoaching.com. Thanks for joining us on mental performance unleashed. Be sure to like, subscribe, and leave a review. And I'll see you next time. Thanks for watching. Be sure to hit that like and subscribe button and leave us a review in the comments.