Everything Is Fine (It's Not) 💅- Licensed Yapper - EP. 021

Taliyah Goings: Hey y'all, it's Talia Janae and welcome back to the License Jeopard Podcast. What's good, my friends, my gappers, how have y'all been? I it's been a minute, okay? I didn't record last week only because I think I've only missed three weeks, three Mondays. I missed last Monday because y'all, I've been going through it. I've been really going through it and I've been trying to like get my thoughts together and I've just not been in the best of places. So like I'm gonna break all that down and basically tell y'all where I've been. And why I missed last week, and then we'll jump into some topics. But me missing was for a reason, a good reason. Okay. ⁓ So last I think it was so I was supposed to record on or I was supposed to have an episode come out the 27th, I'm pretty sure. On Monday. One episode didn't come out, obviously. And the reason for that is because I have been kind of stressed recently. I am currently job hunting and y'all know how stressful that is. And it's kind of stressful. You know, I'm 24 years old and I didn't expect to find especially since like with my situation that happened, I didn't expect to not have, you know, the job that I had before at this time. I would I wouldn't have ever thought I wouldn't have had it. So it's been a little stressful financially and like trying to get everything going and like, you know, I have a little part-time gig that I'm doing that's bringing in that's helping me and you know, but it's not like substantial amount and I guess I'm just feeling lost of like what my purpose is, of like how am I gonna well not what my purpose is, because I feel like I've figured out my purpose. It's mainly of just like where like I need a full time job. And I don't know if I've ever shared this news with like my podcast before. I think I s I think I kinda hit it just because like I think people are haters in the world and people as much as we think people, you know, have our backs and are optimistic about our lives, people will prey on your downfall. So I think I just kind of kept this to myself, but ⁓ I have pursued I'll keep it a little light, so I'm not gonna spill all of it, 'cause again, it's like only my family and my best friends know about it. And those are the only people I want to know about it, because those are only people that I know are praying for me. And are wishing the best on my life. Whereas I feel like lots of people, and I feel like I'm not saying everybody watching is gonna like hate on your downfall, but I'm always someone like I also grew up where my mom was like, keep that to yourself, don't be telling people all your business because like people do prey on your downfall. People are haters, even in college. My college boss used to tell me, like, Talia, people don't ever want to see you be great. Like, as much as you think people have your back, people don't want to see you be great. And I think that's so true as as the older I get. So I'm not gonna spill the big beans of like what happened to me a month ago and like this new journey that I'm going down that's super exciting, but I am now a I guess you would say a signed actor, which is super cool. And I would love to go in so many details about that and like what that means and like like all the details of all of all of it, but I'm gonna keep it quiet. You know, if you see me pop out on a TV show or commercial or a movie, you know it's going down. But I am a sign actor and that's been a blessing that was like an answered prayer that was answered. I've been saying that I've been saying, you know, I've been praying, you know, to be a sign actor, to be an actor since I was eight, seven years old, every single night I would say it in my prayers and it was answered and now I'm a sign actor and it's an amazing feeling. But that also takes time. Like I'm not rushing that. I'm not expecting me to get auditions off the bat or gigs off the bat. All that takes time and preparation. And I think I'm taking the necessary steps for that time and consideration. So I'm cool off that and I'm fine. And I'm fine with that. I'm letting that do its thing, let it summer, because I know God has a plan for me and I'm letting it summer do its thing. But until then, but until I start money, I still until I start making money from that, I you know, as an actor coming up, you need to have a full-time job. That's just like necessary. Like everybody who's in the industry will tell you that you need to still have a current full time job. Until you get that big thing that changes your life completely, you need to still be working. So of course I'm working and you know and you know, is a situation happened where I lost my job. So it's been kind of stressful of like finding a job in this job market in this economy. Sucks right now. It's so bad. It's like It's it's so bad, like it sucks, y'all. And it's been hard, but I'm trying and I'm every week I feel like I'm putting out like fifteen applications a week and it's just so stressful. But I'm trying and you know, calling and it's a lot. It's a lot, it's a lot. So that's been really stressful on me. And I just wasn't really inspired or interested to do a podcast. And also I want it to get away. I want it to get away so bad. Like I remember. And because I was so stressed out, I was just like, I need to get out of here. And I know if there's two people in my life that I know that will pick up and leave with me and go on a trip, it's my girls, ⁓ John and Bree. So I literally texted in the group chat on a Friday and I was like, Hey, does anybody like Disney or Universal? 'Cause I have an itch to like get on a roller coaster right now and I really need to be on one. So if y'all want to take a day trip, I'm so down. Immediately, John, yes, yes, yes, let's go. John's sending park tickets immediately. She's sending hotels. Boom. It's like set. Like, and that's just how they are. Like, we say we're going somewhere. It's a 95% chance we're going. That five percent is if like something happens, then we don't go. But there's 95% a chance, whatever plans we're making, it'll happen. So immediately one of the group chat like, Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. I was like, Okay, bet. So that Friday I put out I put the idea out. that Sunday and Friday I put the idea that Sunday we all went swimming at John's. We booked the trips. Booked the trip book the booked book the tickets booked the hotel and it became an entire weekend. And again I'm gonna have the girls come on the podcast and talk about it because we also just want them to come on because we have gotten close so fast and we have so many inside jokes and so many stories to tell. So the girls are coming on the podcast very, very soon. It was supposed to happen this past week. I think it's gonna come next week. We just have to figure out a situation of like where to film and everything, but keep that in mind. The girls will be coming on the podcast very, very soon. But literally so Friday I put out the idea that Sunday we sa we booked the tickets, we booked the hotel, we booked everything and we went to Disney that that Saturday. So it was the best weekend. Like, so we spent the whole weekend basically not at home. Friday, we were in ⁓ New Orleans over the weekend. Like we stayed the night because, you know, one of John's ⁓ friends had a fight, like a MMA fight type vibe. We saw that fight, we stayed in New Orleans, we flew out of New Orleans Saturday morning, went to Disney that entire day, spent a whole day, did three parks, parked top that entire day. And then stayed in Disneyland whole day. And then in the morning we flew out. We had a seven hour layover in Myrtle Beach. That's a story to tell. Flew to Myrtle Beach and then flew back home all in three days. And it was the best weekend ever. And it was just a quick little trip, but it was so much fun and we made it a blast. And like I'll have the best fun when I'm with them. So literally, I just needed to get away. Like I needed to escape my problems. And I wasn't even planning on spending money like that. I just needed to I just really needed to get out of my head and I really needed To escape, like applying for so many jobs and not getting a response and it it was really stressing me out and I was really annoyed and it was driving me crazy and I just needed to get out and just like escape reality for a second. And the best place to escape reality is Disney World. You can't tell me it's not. So I had a blast. We have so many memories and so many inside jokes came from that trip. And that's like the best trips when you're going on trips with your girls and like memories like that make it better. Memories like that is like what makes a friend jump stronger and just what makes you just feel like the weights lifted off your shoulders a little bit and I really needed that to escape it because I was really getting in my head about like not getting a job fast enough and like my friends had to tell me like yo Tullia it's not you like the job market sucks and you know, in my field it's so competitive, especially for like what I got a degree in and what I'm trying to go into. So it's just stressful and it's like I can't deal, you know, the perfect picture is like, you know, that's with me auditioning for all these things, hopefully I can get a gig that or I can get a job that'll change my life. And, you know, I put all my faith in God and He's been on this journey with since I was eight years old. He's been listening to my prayer since I was eight years old. And he knew when w when it the time was gonna happen and he knows when the time's gonna happen now. So of course and ⁓ perfect in like my dream in my mind, but I've already seen that my dreams have become a reality. I dreamt and prayed to be an actor when I was eight. It didn't happen. It didn't. It didn't happen until I was what, twenty four years old, where I'm now assigned actor. Now I'm auditioning for stuff. It took that that long, but I think God knew I wasn't ready and I was ready now. So I'm trusting his plan. I'm trusting his path. I know he knows what's best for me. So I'm on the ride with him and, you know, I think there will be that thing that, you know, lifts me off Hopefully, not hopefully, we're praying. And when that comes, but f until that comes, I gotta I gotta pay the bills, but so we're working towards that and putting applications in was just driving me crazy. So I needed to escape and that was the best escape, best weekend. I had so much fun with them and we just built up so many memories and it was one of the best trips I've ever had. It was fantastic. And I've been to Disney for days, like I've been to Disney like three days straight or four days straight. I went for a day and it was amazing. It was so much fun. So literally Like I it was something that was so needed. It was so so needed. But that's what I did. And then that Monday I didn't have time to film because I usually film on a Saturday. So I didn't c so I couldn't film. Okay, guys, I couldn't film. I needed a distressor. And then I and then literally, you know, when times like that happen, when like you try to de stress and you distress and you come back and then you're sitting in that stressful situation again, it's hard. And you know, I'm someone where it's hard for me sometimes to shake back. I have to tell myself I gotta shake back, but sometimes, you know It's hard, but I have been distracting myself. Like my friend Brie has been hanging out with me every single day. I see her every single day. And it's, you know, helping me get through it. And it's, you know, I'm still stressed about it and I still get in my moods where I'm a little like down on myself. But you know, you you gotta you gotta just give it to God at some time and just let it happen. Continue to work towards your goal, but give it to God and He knows where I'm gonna end up, but my future looks like so I'm just trusting him. You know, it's hard, it's crazy, but you know, my friends have been distracting me and that's like the best things. Like literally the other day, on a Tuesday, we were just like, hey, let's just on a Tuesday literally, we were like, let's go get a seafood boil. We got seafood boil right after we went to Chili's and got a mo a mutton lava cake. Then right after that we went to BJ's and got a bazooka, just cuz. And that's what you need when you're in those times of like I w I don't want to say and that's what you need when you're in those times where you're just like slumped, you don't really know what's gonna happen next. Those are ⁓ the times that you need to just like do stupid things for no reason. We went to three different restaurants and had two desserts for no reason, and it was the best. And sometimes you just need that to distress and like All that c all of that kind of just goes into the so one of the topics I wanted to talk today because on TikTok there's this thing of like being of like on recently on TikTok it's been popping on my for you page of like friendships or friends acting like you're their boyfriend. I was like, What are we talking about here? And it and it it's interesting and I'll get to that in a second, but it made me think like me and my friends, like it like we were talking about like do we have an unhealthy emotional attachment to each other. Like we just see each other all the time. We talk every single day. There's not a day that goes by that the group chat's not pinging. And I think and I don't think it's unhealthy. We always tell ourselves this, is this we always tell each other like, is this an unhealthy attachment? And then we're like, nah, I think it's great. And I think like I think it's just like you have times in your lives where you'll connect with certain people. I always say like you'll either meet people that are for a season of your life or you'll meet people that are there forever. And even you though you have those friends that will be there forever. There was a season where y'all were the closest and or y'all just hung out all the time. But y'all are still friends throughout the other times. But there was probably a year where y'all were just like inseparable. And then you know life happens, but y'all are still friends. But there's always that one time in life where you're just like inseparable. We all have that. And this season, I guess I'm in the season of being like super, you know, close with my two girls with with with my what two of my best friends right now. And I think I don't think it's like at a ⁓ I don't it's funny 'cause we say it's like a unhealthy attachment, but I think it's just because you just have times in your life where you're just close to certain people. And, you know, I hope that we're this close and this close of friends and this tight forever, but life happens. But at this moment in time, this is our the closest we'll ever be, probably, you know, because time moves on. All you know, our careers probably gonna take us in different ways. Our we might our relationships are going to take us in different ways. We might start a family. We might, whatever. So at this point in time, it's the closest we've ever been. And I want to enjoy it and I wanna You know, 'cause these are memories. These are memories at the end of the day. And then when we're in our thirties and we're not that close and we don't see each other all the time and we're not as tight as we used to be, these are the memories we can hold on to. These are the memories we're gonna talk about when we're thirty, when we're forty. So it's like let's build those now. And that's what I'm I feel like in my twenties has really been about my friends and I really, really love that. My early, early twenties I was in a relationship and I'm so happy I'm not in that and I'm honestly happy that I don't really have one right now. Like the time this is the time for my girls and for me to have fun and for me to just like experience things with them. And like is an unhealthy attachment? I don't think so. I don't think we don't like I think we all have I think it's healthy because Like we're super close obviously, but it's not like ⁓ we rely on each other or it's not like I feel like unhealthy attachment can lead to certain things. I think it's just like we're super close at this moment and it's fun and we're traveling together and we're having new experiences and we're laughing together and we just wanna experience more of that and that's just what we're doing. I don't think it's unhealthy. Like I just I think it's so refreshing to have a friendship where it's a silly goofy mood twenty-four seven. But That is so refreshing to escape from real life and to just laugh all the time with each other. That is so much fun. That is a blast. That is 100% the friendship that I like to be in. That is what I'm in right now. And I absolutely love it. It's been a distressor. It's helped me really not think so heavy on issues. I also feel like we've been through a lot together in the short amount of time that we've known each other, keep in mind. And it's fun, it's fun, it's fresh. And I think like You can have an ⁓ an unemotional attachment if you guys start like like crying because you're not together or like freaking out because you're not together or having like anxiety because you're not together. That's crazy. You're pushing it. That's a little dramatic. That's a bit too dramatic for me. Like, please be so for real. You're okay, babe. You know, that is when I think you can have done unhealthy. We're all surviving without each other. Perfectly fine. I think we just like when we think about like, yo, ⁓ I wanna like yo, I wanna travel somewhere. I know two people who are gonna get up and travel with me. That's just the friendship we have and it's fun. Like I've never and like the whole thing of like that's going on TikTok right now that's like friends treating me like I'm their I'm their boyfriend or we're in a relationship. I'm like, yo, I've never experienced that before in my life. To me, that whole topic feels weird because I feel like when I'm in a friendship, like you have to ask yourself, if you're finding yourselves in friendships where they're acting like y'all like you are their boyfriend or y'all are in relationship, you need to realize like I want a friend that will be there for me, not is all about me. Does that make sense? Like nobody like Nobody we all like to say as women like you know that man needs to be obsessed with me but in reality if we really sit back and break down that nobody wants to be around anybody who's that obsessed with them because it it's just a lot and for in my perspective and I think if you have a friend that is like obsessed with you that's a lot. I think it's a difference between like close friends and like obsession because I feel like that obsession can grow into jealousy, it can grow into hatred, it can grow into like them wanting wanting you to hang out with them and not other friends and that to me is a little immature. That's a little high school for me. I've never experienced that in my life. So like I'm seeing all these TikToks about this and I literally can't relate. And usually TikTok, I relate to everything that comes on. I'm I am a repost queen. I'm reposting all the time. But for that I can't. And I just feel like if you're finding yourselves in friendships where they're acting like you're their boyfriend of like ever like I don't even know. Then that is That I would ask yourself, what am I putting out that is making them think that? And to stop that real quick, because I do think like over obsessed or over attached friends that can lead to an obsession and that can lead to jealousy. I think especially with girls, like jealousy runs deep. And you have to realize, does this person just like to hang out with me or do they want to be me? Or do they or do they Do they envy me? I think that's a really good question. People will be friends with people they envy because they have things that that person that that you have things that they want. That's why I always say, not everybody wants you to be great, babe. You really have to keep your eye out on that and like make sure who you're befriending is on your side 24/7 or who you're befriending has your back, but it's not like all up on you because like it it can become a situation where it's like okay, now That has become into jealousy, and that is something I do not rock with. But I've never experienced a friendship like that before in my life. So I'm like, what stipulations are y'all putting in y'all's friendships? I've had friendships where we're close, but I've never had friendships where it's like, you owe me, or like, you are my man. Or like, what do we like? What do we mean? Like, like that's so weird. I also saw one influencer, she was like, ⁓ I hate friendships where they expect like the princess treatment in a friendship and she starts going down list of like always booking the reservations or always booking the trips or always booking the to me that's I don't know, that could be annoying to some. I think a lot of times there's just a lot of women that are just male centered. And I think because they're not experiencing a relationship, a romantic relationship at that moment. they're using you as a placeholder for that and those tendencies might flow over into that friendship. That could be an option. Or B, I think it could just be like I don't know. I don't see it as deep as that because I've just never experienced that. I know for me in my friendships, like I know like one of the creators I was watching, she was talking about how like I'm booking all the trips and I'm booking all the reservations and she's just sitting back doing nothing and sitting back and being in La Walland and looking like I'm supposed to do all these. And I'm like I don't know, I've never I think in my friendships it's like kinda like like like for example, we were just in Disney and I l was literally on my phone booking the lightning lanes, booking the telling us okay, we this place I was going to go that we got. I was literally booking all the lightning lanes. I had the a the itinerary all intact. I was like, We go here, then we go here and I didn't feel like my friends were using me at all or like using me as like a quote unquote boyfriend. I think I was I like to take charge and I think They know I like to like do stuff like that. We call that like the mom of the group in my friend in my friend group and my little trio. And I we like that. Like I think, you know, when it's we've been out too long and I think it's time to wrap it up. All right, guys, I think it's time I think we need to wrap it up. I think it's time for bed. Like I think that's just what I do and it and like that's just my role. Like, so it it just made sense for me to be the one to cure the lightning lanes because it's just makes sense. Like I didn't I don't feel like they're using me or I don't feel like they're treating me like they're men or I don't feel like they're using the princess treat me treatment on me. I just feel like that's just like the quote unquote role of the group. Like even we were on the plane and I they were like, where do we sit? And I was like, okay, we sit here. And I remember one of the ladies was like, there's always a mom in the friend group. And that's just me. I'm the mom of the friend group and I enjoy being the mom of the friend group. Like I think it's fine. And it's not like I'm bossing them around or anything, because that's so extreme. I think it's just the simple fact of I'm just keeping everything organized. And I've just it's just the flow of things. It's just not like I think we're push I don't know. Again, I don't want to say people are being dramatic 'cause I've just never experienced a friendship like that, but that's just how it is in mine. And like when it's time to book a trip and when it's time to look at flights and Airbnbs. Yeah. One of our friends, Jean in particularly, she is the one that is booking the flights because girly pop just travels with the time and she just knows da da da da da da da da da da da and she just knows the best place to stay, the best place to go. That's usually and that's not because we tell her to do it because she actually enjoys looking up that kind of stuff. She loves traveling so she does that. Like I just think it's so weird and strange. And then we got Brie on the side looking up TikToks. Like I think that's just how our friendship works and we don't use each other or we're not using each other for princess treatment. Like that's so strange. And I think I think as women especially we always find ourselves in friendships that don't serve us. And we need to start being in friendships that serve Not even like serve, but like we were finding ourselves in icky friendships. I don't know why because women, women are catty, so it's just easier for us to find ourselves in friendships like that. I think we really need to step back and be like, whoa, what am I doing? What am I doing that's saying that's okay for this person to treat me this way? Why are they why do they think they can treat me this way? Am I addressing it? Am I fixing it? And keep it pushing. Because like I think that's very important. You know what I mean? And like I've just never experienced that. And it's been flooding my for you page. And I'm like, who are y'all friends with? I've had bad friendships, but like that's crazy. I've literally never experienced that before. To me, that's a little crazy. I don't I can't really relate to that. So I don't really know what else to add to that. I've just never experienced that in my life, personally. Strange. If y'all have friends that are acting like you're their boyfriends, please exit that friendship immediately. Please. That's so strange and weird. I've never experienced that in my life. Like that's so weird. ⁓ And I hate that thought. Also, something else that I've been seeing on TikTok that I feel like I've talked about a lot on this podcast of like ⁓ me valuing like my success in myself and my success in my career more than like building a family and starting a household and all that generous. And I've always felt like I've always been so supportive of that, of just being like, yo, that's for you, that's for you. That's just not for my that's just not for me. But I also feel like there's a lot of judgment that comes with thinking like that. I feel like I like when you get around certain women and you talk about like my career is what's for me and that's what I'm focused on. And I'm not worried about finding my husband or building a household, being married, you know. having kids that's just not my focus as a woman at my in my life. I feel like we get judged for that a lot. We get judged for that a lot. And it's crazy to me because it's like, what's so wrong with a woman wanting to think beyond being a mom and not thinking being a mom is my only purpose. Sorry, but I don't think that I have so many things that I want to accomplish in my life. And at this moment at twenty four years old I do not want to have a baby. I don't want to have a baby. I don't want to build a family that is not something that's for me in this moment. And I think a lot of times as women we judge each other because of that. And I think we get in the the crosshairs of like, well, our purpose is supposed to how are you gonna tell me what my purpose is supposed to be? You know, it's it's crazy to me. And it's like at this time I have no inkling of want to be married or have children. Absolutely not. Children crazy enough, just Just I don't feel anything when I see kids. I'm not like, ⁓ we want one. I mean ⁓ in a in the moment you're like, ⁓ this would be so cute to have one, but do I really want one? No. And I think we judge each other a lot and I think women really need to give each other a break. Like I think we need to give each other a break. There's so many things that we could be pushing each other to go a certain way on, like being obsessed with a man. Yeah. And we need to tell each other, girly pop, go the other way. But on things like me wanting to pursue a career versus having children or having a family, I think we need to lay off a little bit. Like it's so lame. And I think women press e press each other on those issues all the time. And I always see like Jubilee videos of like career women versus like moms. And I think it's just a lot. And women really need to like not we're pushing each other on issues that aren't that important versus issues that are important versus issues that actually affect us. But instead we're pushing each other on things of like getting married. Why would you want me to get married right now if I don't want to? Why would you want me to have kids right now if I don't want to? I just feel like and also feel like what's for us is for us and what's for not is not. I think a lot of things should be for all of us. And a lot of things is just like what you prefer. And I just hope we get to a time where women just stop putting expectations on women and stop like putting what we're supposed to be on each other because it's exhausting and it's exhausting to hear. And I'm so tired of hearing women debate about simple or small things like that on TikTok. And again, I've talked about this in nauseum, but I just keep seeing it on my for you page and it's it's making me so upset. Like, why are we forcing each other on these things? Like, why don't all all of us just do what we want and do what we love and keep it pushing? Like, why is it such a you have to be this way, you have to be that way? And I think I thought of that because of Nara Smith. Like Nara just did a interview. ⁓ on the Call Our Daddy podcast and she was talking about of like people think I'm this trad wife and I just stay at home and I cook dinner and my man tells me what to do and that's what I just do. And it's so the opposite. Okay. We're back. Okay, sorry guys. If you're watching on if you're watching the podcast on YouTube, if the setup's a little different, if the angle's a little different, sorry. I just had a intermission there. My SD cart was too full. Sorry, that's on me. Amateur move. I'm sorry. I don't even remember what I was talking about. I legit don't even remember what I was talking about. So I'm gonna start where I think I was going, but I really don't remember because it was so stressful just now. I have to delete so many files. Anyways, okay. This is something I wanted to bring up too, because me and my friends said this, and I was like, ooh, I need to bring it to the podcast because it was so good. So I was watching Love Island UK because Love Island USA is over and no reality TV that I'm interested in is really on right now. So we're gonna take a pause from the reality recaps, but this moment I was like, this is just such a smart thing to say. So I was watching Love Island UK and there's this really big character on the show, her name's Julia, and Julia says what she thinks, speaks her opinion all the time, and people on the show don't really like it. Keep in mind she ended up winning the show. So like people actually liked it, but people inside the house didn't really love it. People don't really like it. Opinionated people, anyways. So But she said something, but her friend was on but her friend was on After Sun and was like talking and like defending her and being like In certain situations, there's two options you can do with a very confident, opinionated woman. A woman who knows who she is and is a woman that knows who she is and who's opinionated but also very confident. There's really two things we can do. Her friend said this so smart. She said, One, you can be intimidated by that woman and be intimidated by her confidence, be intimidated that she knows who she is, be intimidated by her opinions, and be intimidated by who she is as a woman, or you can be inspired by that woman, and you can see how confident she is and want to be confident like her, want to take some aspects of who she is and be like that. She's she's very opinionated. You might not want to be that opinionated, but you can be like, you what? I don't speak up for myself as much as she does. I'm gonna take that and be inspired by her. You can either be intimidated or inspired by her. And ⁓ when she said that, I got like a rush of energy. And I was just like, ⁓ my gosh, yes, like these two things, yes, yes, yes, she's speaking so many facts. I feel like a lot of times women especially guys, we we really do too much on each other. We need to pipe down just a little bit, but I feel like a lot of the times We judge each other so quickly, especially when there's a very confident and t confident woman around who's speaking her opinions and you know, she's not being rude, but she's just like saying it how how it is. I think a lot of the times, a lot of times women can want to do that, but because they don't want to seem like something to other people, they retract from that and then they think that that pr that woman has a problem because she's doing it. No, babe. No, you can either be intimidated or inspired. And I feel like you're not to toot my own horn, but toot toot. I feel like I've come across so many people, maybe recently, no shade, just no shade, no shade, maybe just a little bit of shade, but no shade that I feel like are intimidated by my friends that are confident, by me that are confident. I feel like I've witnessed it. I feel like I've been around that. And I think it's so true. I feel like a lot of times we judge each other so quickly. As women, we judge each other so fast. ⁓ she's doing too much. ⁓ she's ⁓ like ⁓ she ⁓ and it's like if she does speak her word we'll be like ⁓ she did a lot but she's speaking facts but she did a lot but we don't s but why don't we just stand on no actually she's speaking her mind and what she's saying is true and she deserves to to to be heard. Why is it like a ooh, that's a little bit much, but hey, she did say that. No, give her the full credit, give her the full kudos. Like for some reason we do that to each other, and she's a hundred percent right. You can either be intimidated or inspired, and a lot of times We choose the intimidate route. Why? Why? The confident girl? That's the girl I want to be friends with. I don't know about y'all, but I liked I'm attracted to f and for friendships, females that are confident, females that know who they are, females that are that like to stick out a little bit, females that are just different from normal people. Those are those are the people I want to be friends with. You know? Those are the people I want to be friends with. Even in relationships, I'm very I'm very attracted to confident men, men who kind of own the room. You know, sometimes it's like I hate when a man knows he looks good, but I also respect that. And I respect that he's confident. I respect that he walks into this place like he owns it. I'm very attracted to that in men. It kind of correlates to friendships. I want to be friends with people who not are like overly opinionated, but who speak their minds and know who they are, know their worth, and are not gonna let anybody treat them less than that. That is someone I want to be friends with. Because being friends with an insecure person is exhausting. Sorry. I know, I don't know how that sounds, but it's exhausting to be friends with someone who is insecure. And again, guys, I love to book my friends up. I wanna build the people around me up so much. But there's a point where it gets like, girl, there's always there's really so much I can say to you for you to get the confidence. I can't give you the confidence, you're gonna have to g fix it and figure it out yourself, babe. Sometimes it's exhausting to be around somebody who's a downer all the time. You're never having a good day, babe. You're never having a good day. You never think you look good. And when you do look good, you pick at everything about yourself. It's like, babe, stop. You look so good, but you're sitting here tearing yourself apart. Or the girl that walks around saying, I'm so fat. ⁓ my gosh, I need to lose weight and she's the size of my pinky. That's exhausting to be around because it's like I can't be around that. I can't be that is so exhausting. I remember I had a friend who did that, and her mom was like, Girl, your friends don't care about your friends, your friends don't care about how much you weigh. Please. Like it's exhausting. Like that is so annoying because it's just like, Are you being a pygmy? Do you are you itching for compliments or are you really insecure? And if you are insecure, I feel like I'm helping pour into you, but I feel like you're not taking it, and you just want to stay insecure. Like it gets to a point where it is exhausting. And I'm like, It's okay a breather to say that because I think a lot of times we don't want to come off insensitive and I never want to come off insensitive. I never want to come off like I don't care. But it gets to a point, especially in our big age, yo. Especially at our big old age that we need to grow out of that. You know, when we're teenagers and we're all kind of going through a self-crist like a crisis and we're all kind of insecure. Yeah, it makes sense. That I I you know, it's fine. It's that's that's what comes with puberty, that's what comes with being a teenager. But when we get into our twenties, especially hitting our mid-20s, we need to figure it out. We got to get it together. I can't sit around that all the time. Especially because like, you know, if I have a friend that's expressing these things, it's my job as a friend to build my girl up, to tell her she's hot, she's she's p she's body teeth, you know, it's my it's it's my responsibility to do that as a as a friend, I believe, to build my girl up, as I will do always. But if she's always gonna stick The side of being insecure, of judging herself, picking out every little thing about herself. There's only so much I can take. There's only so much I can take. I can't deal. I literally can't deal. The same it that also goes with male-centered girls. I can't be friends with girls that are male-centered because I've also been friends with that girl. That's like you can there's sometimes it's just fun to roast men with your girls. It's that's fun. It's fun being a man-hater a little bit with your girls and just like dogging them. with your girls. That's fun. Sorry, but it's sometimes just kinda fun to just talk about how men are trash and the horrible things they do. That's fun. And to be around that girl that's like, but not all men are like that. Yeah, but girls, but my man, shut up. Shut up, bro. Shut up. Literally. It's like it's so annoying. I don't know if y'all know what I mean, but it's like, girl, Yes, we know not all men are like that. We're just having a little key at the we're having a little kiki at the moment and you're bringing the mood down. Like please be so for real. I can't shhang girls like that. They will s do anything to defend a man. I can't do which are the two. I can't be friends with a man. With but I can't be friends with someone who will do anything in their life to defend a man. A man can do no wrong in their eyes. Or insecure women. It's just exhausting sometimes. And I hope it doesn't come off insensitive. Cause I'm not trying to be insensitive. Please, I'm not trying to be insensitive. But there's only there's only so much to import into you. And if you don't believe about yourselves, what am I doing? You're not taking my advice. You're not taking, you know, anything that I'm helping you. You just want to stay in that space. And that for me, I can't deal with. It drives me crazy. And I know it drives y'all crazy too. It has to. Because I feel like I've been like hearing more people nowadays say it. And I'm like, ⁓ my gosh, yes. Cause I can't take it. I literally can't take it. 'Cause it's like there's only so much you can do as a friend. I'm giving you the tools, I'm speaking life into you. And if you don't want to take it, that is not ⁓ what am I supposed to do? What am I supposed to do as a friend? Keep doing it and just keep hearing you talk down on yourself. I'm just supposed to be like 'cause ⁓ now you're becoming a Debbie Downer. Now you're not fun. And it's not fun. Sometimes I just want to laugh, but instead it's a counseling session. As much as I'm there for you, babe, I'm not your th like it's just a lot. And I think that's why I always say, like, yo, like, it's very important to know who you are and to be intimidated by those women. No, babe. You should be inspired by those women. That's what I did. When I was at my libist, I saw people who I thought were confident and I wanted to be like them, but in my own Tlia way. That's what you gotta do. You gotta take certain things from people. Not in a like a jealousy way, but just in a way of like Yo, I hate that I don't love myself. I see that this girl actually does love herself. I want to be like that. How can I be like that? And I did it in my own way. And look and now I'm in now I'm here. You know what I mean? Like I just people who just like to stay in a bad mood, they like to stay in a womp womp, self pity, woe is me kind of attitude, I can't deal. It drives me absolutely insane. Can't deal, babe. I can't deal. And like that is something I can get behind. The whole like friends treating me like their boyfriends, I don't know what that means, guys. I'm sorry. I can't relate to that. I literally can't relate to it. It's all on my for you page and I can't relate to that. But insecure friends, I can relate to you. Cause it's just, it's, it's a lot. It's a bit much. And I mean that with all love. Cause like I feel like sometimes it can that can come off as you being not like insensitive and it's not. It's just me just like that gets exhausting to be around sometimes. Especially when like you don't want to change. You know, when it's like that person's actively trying to work towards it. I can I got you babe. I'm with you. But when you'd like to be in a what is me place, I can't. I can't. Because babe, we're all going through stuff. And the conversation always ends up back to you about how you're doing. And I just can't. I'm drained. I'm drained. It's like watching Melanie on Love Island. Everybody's telling like we're telling you, babe, he's not for you. He's not for you. And you keep choosing him. There's only so much I can do. I'm tired of talking. You know what I mean? I don't know. I just ranted. And I feel like I needed it, honestly. You're it's been a rough month, you know what I mean? Yeah. That's literally all I have to talk about. That's all literally all I have to talk about. Again, guys, I found my topics from TikTok, from my life experiences, so that's just all this is. I'm just chatting with y'all. Okay. A little bit of girl chat. But yeah, y'all, that's about it. I don't have a reality recap this week, but I do want to ask for like prayers in the chat for me that hopefully I find my place and like everything works out perfectly fine. But I hope everything's working great with you guys, and I love you guys. so much and y'all mean a lot to me. You guys mean so much to me. Like come on now. Like you guys mean so much to me. And I am gonna be consistent. I'm gonna be consistent. I'm not gonna miss another week unless I'm on a trip. But I will not miss another week. I will keep going. I will keep going, trust me. I love doing these and it's like therapy like I said for me. And it's so great to chat with you guys always. And I hope you guys have an amazing week and to chat with me again on next Monday. Pieces and blessings. Bye all.