The Nature and Importance of Pattern

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Thanks. Hi. This is doctor Andrew Han and this is
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episode forty two of Guided Self Healing Fearless Living. And
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this episode is called the Nature and Importance of Patterns,
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which is in our book. It's chapter six, and I
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want to just give you an overview of why patterns
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are important and what patterns are. So what are patterns?
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Patterns are universal themes that play out over and over
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and over again. We hear them in myth, we hear
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them in our lives. But their themes and they're sort
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of like fractal in nature, which is that they have
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an underlying theme and then they build out in terms
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of the content of them. But the underlying theme upon
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which all that is based is the same, even though
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the surface may look different. So a pattern is anything
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that is thematic in nature and which you will see
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holds an awful lot of different symptoms in them for
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reasons that are clear, because the underlying nature of the
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pattern is the theme. And then all kinds of beliefs
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or feelings or boundary issues or physical problems can play
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out in these patterns if they're traumatized. So so that's
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essentially what they are and why they're important is often
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we'll have some kind of problem, and we think that
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the problem is really the problem, but it's not really
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the problem. It's a symptom of a deeper problem. And
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so if you work directly on the symptom, you'll get
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some relief, but you won't get as much relief as
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if you could find the underlying cause. And there are
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a couple of metaphors that I think are useful for this.
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The one I use because I'm in the Northeast and
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because it showed up one day for me, is like
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if you think about a stam. If you know about ice,
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some of us deal with it all winter, and you
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have a gutter on your on your roof and there's
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a problem with that, and you have water coming down
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in different streams in your wall. You might think that
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the water is the problem, and you can call the water.
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You know you're OCD and your ADHD and your chronic
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pain and whatever. But what you might not know, of course,
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is that there is an ice dam in a roof
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that you didn't even know existed. And sort of like
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when something happens and something triggers it, the water comes down.
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Being all these symptoms but in fact they're not the problem.
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You clean up the water and then it comes back.
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You say, well, why did it come back? I cleaned
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it up, And it's because you didn't know there was
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a roof. You didn't know there was a gutterer, you
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didn't know there were ice dams. So you don't have
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the name for the problem. You just see it. You
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have a name for the symptom of the problem. Right,
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So that's what it's like. Or a different metaphor would be.
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Let suppose you have a lot of houses you want
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to build, right, this one is more generic, and underneath
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all of those houses there's a foundation and there's a
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crack in the foundation. Well, of course you can try
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to work on the house, but if you haven't taken
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care of the crack and the foundation, the house will
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not it won't stay up, it willill be weak, and
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it won't have a good foundation. So you'd have to
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take care of the foundation, and sometimes then you have
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to work on the house. But sometimes the only problem
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is the foundation, and when you take care of the foundation,
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amazingly you know the houses are easy to work on
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because the only problem with the house was that there
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was a crack in the foundation. And sometimes you're just
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working on one house, and underneath it there's a foundation
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and it has a crack in it, So like that
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will give you a clue to what the problem with
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that house is. Using all these metaphors, so sometimes you
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have to work on a pattern first. Give you there
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are three possibilities. One possibility is the most important thing
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to work on is the patterns. So you have these symptoms,
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but you have this pattern. It's affecting all the things
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you're thinking is the problem, and it's affecting other things
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you haven't ben thought of at all as being related
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to the problem, because it never occurred to you that
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all these different things all were about one theme, and
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they all were they all were unfolded into that theme.
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So that's one possibility. The second possibility is you have
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to do something about the pattern first. It's like it's
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a predisposition. You could say. It's like, if you don't
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take care of the pattern before you take care of
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the house, then the house will be weak. So you
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have to do something and then you can work on
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the house. And sometimes if you take care of the pattern,
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it's an exact replica. I mean, it's sort of like
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the house and the foundation are all one thing, and
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it gives you a clue about what's going on that's
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keeping your house from being built. So you can use
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patterns all kinds of different ways. So that's why we
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have them, is because it will tell you a theme. Right,
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That's one reason you have them. It will tell you
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what you might need to do about something, because if
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the problem is betrayal, then you might have to make amends,
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or if the problem is you know, unfinished death, you
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might have to go through a death process. I mean.
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So some of these patterns built into them sort of
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intrinsically are the way you resolve them. And so you
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hear a theme, you'll know there's a pattern there, or
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tell you what to do, or sometimes it will help
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you go deeper into some problem because you may not
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have been aware of the theme. So you can use
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these patterns in all kinds of different ways. Now, in
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our work called life centered Therapy, we've identified three basic
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categories of patterns. One of them and we're going to
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go through each of them in subsequent podcasts because this
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is an overview. One of them we call single center patterns,
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and single center patterns are traumas that affect one of
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our three centers, our head, which is about beliefs, our heart,
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which is about our feelings, and our bellies, which is
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about our boundaries, and sometimes about our little bodies. So
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you know, when you have a trauma to one of
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those three things, you know then you you're kind of
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in a compulsion. So what we're of course looking for,
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which we'll talk about more later, is you know, you
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want your beliefs to be aligned with what you know.
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You want your feelings to be appropriate in the context,
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and you want to be able to experience them and
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be a choice about expression. And of course with boundaries,
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you want to have choice about what goes in and
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comes out. And if you're traumatized, none of those things
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are true, and we're going to, as I said, in
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our next podcast, we'll talk about that in more detail.
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Then there are what we call triple center patterns, and
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there their themes or universal themes that affect all three
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of these centers. So they'll have some kind of theme,
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and it will affect your beliefs, it will affect your feelings,
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it will affect your boundaries, and literally one one pattern
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and your particular variation of that pattern can create all
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kinds of different things that if you worked on them separately,
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would take forever and you wouldn't be that effective anyway,
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because you'd be working on the symptom and not on
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the problem. So that's the second category is these universal themes,
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you know, and some of them would say come in
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the material realms, which we'll talk about, and that just
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means you can experience them through your five senses. You know,
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even if you're in a mythic story or another lifetime
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and your head gets cut off, you can experience that
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through your five senses. You can see the guillotine coming down,
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then you know you can know what happened. But non
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material patterns are themes that are not in sort of
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normative Western reality. However, you want to make sense in them,
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because we just care if they're useful, not if they're
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or whichure not. That's up to you because you know,
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what you believe is your business. But there's stories of curses,
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or there's stories of dark energies that people can't see
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that take you over, or their stories of abductions from
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aliens or anything like that. They're they're not in what
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we said normative Western reality is. And you know, whatever
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you want to think of them if you heal them
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and they make your life better, and that's great. And
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then the third category are called we call them identity patterns.
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And really what we call them that, although it's true
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for all of these things, is when you have an
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identity pattern, what you're focusing on is not the trauma itself,
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but the way we protect ourselves from ever experiencing it again,
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which creates a very limited identity because we believe we
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are the protector. And the protector, you know, comes at
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some great costs because it keeps you from experience your
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authentic self, because you believe if you really were who
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you truly were, you'd get annihilated. So you say, that's
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a bad idea. So I'm going to protect myself in
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some kind of way that limits me, but at least
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make sure I never get end up in the situation
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that that be stuck in the first place. So let's
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see why pattern is important. And we have an example
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of this in the book which I will just repeat,
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but you can get a sense of it, and it's
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fun to read it, and it's fun to hear it
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this way, and it's you know, you can hear it
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in all kinds of different ways, and you can extrapolate.
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So let's take one symptom, which is a panic attack,
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and this is what we spell out for you. And
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so let's say you have a panic attack in my
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office because of motorcycle backfires. Now, if we're going to
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work directly on that, what I would of course say
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to you is when you're having a panic attack, I'd say, well,
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what's happening in the body is you're having panic attack?
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And you might say, oh, my heart bumping past. So
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of course then I would say, well, what you're going
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to do is you're going to bring all your attention
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to someone who's name is heart pounding fast, because it's
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the one who's having a panic attack, and we can
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work on it directly. And so you're going to choose
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to bring all your awareness, and so you become aware
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of you allow you bring all your attention to and
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you accept heart pounding fast, and you ask Who're going
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to ask heart pounding fast? What do you come to
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share about panic? And they might say, I'm a soldier
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in a war and bombs are going off near me
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and I can't handle this, you know, having a panic
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attack right now? And so of course, you get stuck
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in that moment, and then when the motorcycle backfire is
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twenty years later, you have no perspective and you're still
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living out the war. And as soon as, of course,
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you choose to become the body sensation, then you're no
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longer unconsciously identify with heart pounding fast, but you consciously
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identify with the one who is choosing to be heart
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pounding fast, and then bearing witness and holding it, sort
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of like an actor who's now saying, you know, hard
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pounding fast isn't who I am. It's just a role
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on playing and I'm going to be with whoever that is.
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And that would be no pattern there. That would just
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be a direct relationship between the sound and the memory.
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And you can go directly from the motorcycle backfiring to
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the bombs going off. And that's the problem, is the
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bombs going off and your reaction to it. So it's
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an exact parallel process. But let's take a different example
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with the same symptom motorcycle backfires. You have a panic attack,
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but this time that's not the problem. That's a symptom
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of a deeper problem, and we can determine that problem
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Let's say we determined it's a betrayal, and so I say,
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you know that your reaction to the sounds going off
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might get you to know what the real story is.
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But there's a quicker way, which is, we've determined that
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the problem is a betrayal, and let's suppose then I
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have to focus on betrayal and not just the sounds.
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The sounds are a symptom, so it's part of it.
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You can focus on that, but you're also going to
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focus on I betrayed to trust. And when you say
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I betrayed to trust, then you feel throat closing up
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and you feel this inexplicable pain in your foot. Okay,
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so we still have your heart pounding path fast perhaps,
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but we also have two other symptoms that you wouldn't
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have found necessarily, one being tightness and throat closing up
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that sensation, and the other being pain and foot. Now,
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let's suppose we're going to have you bring all your
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attention to the one who said I betrayed a trust
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whose the other name is tightness and throat and pain
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and foot. When you become there, you say, oh my goodness,
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have fun with this. Okay, we'll make it a different, different,
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same kind of scenario, but it's lightly different. Let's say
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you say, you know this is funny. I'm wearing this
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strange uniform. I think I'm in World War One and
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I'm leading a group of troops and I'm not paying
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you know, I'm distracted, and you know I should be
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paying more attention. And suddenly I, because I wasn't paying attention,
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I walked them into an ambush. And I am watching
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the bombs go off and my men are dying, and
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I'm feeling incredibly guilty about it, and I'm sort of
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wishing that I were the one who was dying and
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not them, because I feel like I didn't protect them
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the way I was supposed to as the leader, and
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cursing the fact that I'm a leader, and I don't
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want to be a leader anymore. So I watch what's
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happening to all of them, and I can't stand it,
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and I in a moment, in an impetuous moment, I
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shoot myself in the foot so that I'll be wounded,
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as a way of assuading my guilt and as a
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way of getting out of the battlefield so I don't
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have to be a leader anymore. Or whatever it is,
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and you know when they come and find me and
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they bring me to the hospital or something. Let's suppose
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that's the story. Now we're going to see, of course,
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that you're in a very different relationship with the motorcycle
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backfire now, because the problem isn't that you can handle
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the bombs going off because of your fear. The problem
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is you couldn't handle it because of your feeling so
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ashamed or something about the fact that you betrayed all
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these men and that you believe that you know, you
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should be catterthing. So if we could then say, okay,
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your real problem this time isn't just your trauma because
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of the bombs going off, and you have but you
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know that kind of trauma the war, but your trauma
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is very different. Look at what might be associated with that,
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which would never have thought they all have the same thing.
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Suppose not only and you didn't even mention these things
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because you know the motorcycle backfires, and you're aware of
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your panic attacks and you want to work in the
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panic attacks, but it never occurred to you. You also
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have obsessive compulsive disorder, and you have this strange fear
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that if you know you're not paying total attention and
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doing everything right and not missing any details. It's like
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something horrific will happen. And you also have attention deficit disorder,
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but not just attention deficit HYPE or activity disorder ADHD.
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But you also have some kind of guilt about the
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fact that you can't pay enough attention. And you also
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have this strange limp in your foot because you know,
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you had an accident and some something very heavy fell
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on your foot and they said, you know, you shouldn't
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still be in so much pain, but you're still in
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a lot of pain, and it doesn't make a lot
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of sense. And you also tell me that you hate
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being in roles of leadership, and you say, you know,
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every time I get near being in a role where
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I get to lead, I shoot myself in the foot
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metaphorically speaking. And you know, there can be all kinds
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of other things that are associated with it. So let's
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say you have strange feelings whenever you come into anything
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that reminds you of where this took place, and for
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reason that it made no sense to you. Right, So
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if it happened in the woods, you might have fear
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of woods, you know, I mean there could be in
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one of these situations. My colleague and I counted two
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hundred and sixty three different potential problems. It came out
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of one portrayal look good to the same thing here.
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It's really quite extraordinary because all of them getting folded
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into that one story, so they all can balance if
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you can take care of that, and that's the only
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reason there they are, which often is the case. So
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of course in this case, we're gonna find out that
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the reason this person still has their pain and their
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limb isn't because of the accident that happened in this lifetime.
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In fact, the accident that happened in this lifetime could
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just be an unconscious reliving of what happened in World
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War One. It wouldn't have been an accident at all.
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It would have been sort of like something that you
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chose unconsciously, subconsciously or unconsciously to bring into your life
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as a way to help you master this other story.
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But of course you wouldn't know that. You would just
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think you were making a fate as opposed to co
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creating a destiny at a sole level. And it's really quite
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extraordinary that and you wouldn't you'd say, well, you know,
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I shoot myself in the foot every time I want leadership.
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You'd think that you were speaking metaphorically, I shoot myself
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on the foot, but that would literally be, of course,
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an indication of what's going on here, because you betrayed
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a trust. You literally shot yourself in the foot, and
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you play that out over and over and over again. Now,
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the interesting thing, of course, is if those are the
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primary reason all those symptoms are there, and you find
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a way to make amends for your betrayal, which there
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are various kinds of practices of forgiveness you might be
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able to do, and you can let go of this
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sense that I've betrayed a trust, which you may have
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been playing out, you know, your fear of betraying trusts
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all over the place, or you may have people betray
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trust with you, and that could be I wanted to
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know what it was like to be those soldiers that
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I wasn't paying enough attention to when you could find that,
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you know, in this lifetime, you get yourself into situations
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and people betray you, and it would be just like
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I wanted to find out what the other side was.
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All of those things could be unfolded into this one
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enormous theme. So this is why pattern is important. And
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we all of course know about pattern because there's some
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very famous patterns. The most famous probably is what we
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called the ediple. The edicle is just a pattern. Freud
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said it was a universal pattern. I actually don't think
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it's the only universal pattern. I think it's a pattern,
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and I think it spoke something about major personality, which
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I think, you know, all the joys and beauties of
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somebody who you know, saw the world as being, you know,
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a place of a lot of doubt. Now he comes
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up with this universal pattern. What is it if you
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take the ediple, if you know the edicles, you know
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myth but also his understanding of it. While you can bear,
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you know, you can hierarchically bring it down to one theme,
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which is I have this wish, right, this unacceptable wish,
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which in this case in his story, would be if
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I'm a young boy, I want my mother and I
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literally want her, you know, erotically, you know, I want
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to possess my mother. But I have a problem, which
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is that I have a father and he's going to know,
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you know, he's going to be able to read my
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thoughts and you know he's going to punish me in
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i'm the most horrific of ways, which would be physical,
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you know, violence, so that I won't be his rival anymore.
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And so what I have to do is I have
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to deny my wish and I have to identify with
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him and be like him, and then find someone like
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my mother, but not have my mother. Now, of course,
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if that works out and there's no trauma around it, particularly,
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it will get resolved and you will a psychoanalytic way
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you'll resolve it and you will not be neurotic. But
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of course, if there's trauma around it. Let's suppose that
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your mother and father are having a bad relationship, and
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you know, your mother kind of eroticizes her relationship with you,
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and your father, you know gets clearly you and he
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have a lot of fights, and you know realize fallow
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why that's happening. But it's the playing out of a
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traumatic version of this, a compulsive version. You know, it
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can play out in all kinds of symptoms, right, problems
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with authority, problems in relationships, problems with a sexuality, you know,
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sabotaging any relationship that you are coming into. Literally, you
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might get sick whenever you think about, you know, going
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on a date where you think you might be having sex.
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I mean, there are all kinds of symptoms would come
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out of it, you know, but really what it would
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be would be an unresolved pattern. And if you could
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heal the pattern and heal the triangular dynamics, it's a
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triangular pattern, all of those things go away. So what
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can we say? I mean, it's like knowing about pattern
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is really powerful, and being able to determine if you're
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stuck in one of them, and that your symptoms are
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really symptoms of a deeper pattern as opposed to the
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actual problem you need to work on. Can really you know,
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I think you're feeling more effective and more efficient now.
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Of course, if you don't know about these things, you'll
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get there. It's just a question of how quickly and
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how well can you do it if you're aware of it.
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If you're aware of pattern, then the world's open up.
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Because how you've heard this science. I wonder if I'm
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in some kind of theme and we'll go through all
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of them, you know, while what these potential happens is
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and subsequently podcasts, but at least now you know there's
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something more so thank you very much for listening and
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again doing this our forty second podcast, you know this
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Nature and Importance of Pattern. It's on March thirty first,
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00:22:15.319 --> 00:22:18.200
twenty twenty two. Our book comes out on April fifth,
400
00:22:18.319 --> 00:22:20.200
probably by the time you listen to this it will
401
00:22:20.200 --> 00:22:25.640
have come out, and please buy it. It's called one
402
00:22:25.640 --> 00:22:28.599
hour Miracle, but really what the miracle is is when
403
00:22:28.599 --> 00:22:31.839
you become more aware and more free. And that's really
404
00:22:31.920 --> 00:22:34.759
miraculous because anything you do that makes you more free
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00:22:34.799 --> 00:22:38.119
from suffering and more choice in the world is truly
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00:22:38.160 --> 00:22:40.680
a mar And meanwhile, if you want to be in
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00:22:40.720 --> 00:22:42.920
touch with me, you can do that easily. It's a
408
00:22:43.200 --> 00:22:47.440
ahahn Ahon at Life center Therapy dot com. And if
409
00:22:47.440 --> 00:22:49.400
you want to know more about us and our online
410
00:22:49.480 --> 00:22:53.319
trainings and more our live trainings, or more about our
411
00:22:53.759 --> 00:22:56.160
book or anything, you can just go of course to
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00:22:56.240 --> 00:22:59.759
Life centered Therapy dot com. And I always love hearing
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from you. I love your comments, I love your reflections,
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I love your questions. I love you think if I'm
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you know, think what I'm saying is crazy because I
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love skeptics, you know, I love it all. Anyway, thank
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you so much for listening, and when you're doing your
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own healing work. Just to ask, am I in some
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kind of theme betrayal, reglect, I believe something that isn't true.
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I feel like I've been taken over. I'm protecting myself
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because if I was who I really am, it's too dangerous.
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Start asking worlds open, and I invite you to open
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to all of these worlds because everything is possible. So
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until our next time, I wish you happy healing and
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happy evolving and a wonderful day. M