#46 Nature's Transformers | Discombobulated with Bobby Jaycox

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Hey, hello everybody, and welcome back to another beautiful episode of Discombobulated.
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That's the fucking podcast you're listening to with Bobby Jaycox.
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You either decided to listen to this or I made it into your algorithm where, when it's done with one of the podcasts, made it into your algorithm where, when it's done with one of the podcasts, it takes you to a new one and you're like who in the fuck's voices are these?
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I didn't sign up for this podcast.
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That might be what's going on with you right now.
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So I hope you're doing well.
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I know I'm doing well right now.
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I am in.
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I'm in a beautiful what is just making sure it, just making sure, just making sure it's beautiful and that we're recording.
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Is that a bike in the river?
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Okay, we are in.
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Where are we?
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Spokane, washington, spokane or, as I called it, spokane.
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And then I was corrected at the airport.
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And then I was corrected at the airport by just one of the you ever just see a guy and you just go no.
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You say no for a lot of reasons.
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Like the first no is like no, I don't like you.
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The second no is like how high is your fucking blood pressure?
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He looked like the zit on my face that I was like, whenever you're like I have to pop that, you know why you have to pop it and it's so red.
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It's because there's an infection behind there.
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That's that whole guy's fucking head is an infection and you just need to pop them out because he goes, it's Spokane, it's like a man and I go's like a man and I go, or like a woman, but definitely not like it's not like.
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It's not Spokane, like cocaine.
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Y'all ever been to cocaine Spokane?
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Oh, cocaine, bobby will take you to Spokane cocaine.
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Yeah, we heard it.
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If you're just listening, let me check real quick.
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Let me see how the audio is.
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Check, check.
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I feel like it's probably a nice little hum that you probably got going on back there.
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You know, you probably got a nice little hum of the water going, because here's what I hear.
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I don't know what you hear, but my ears right now, as accurate as I hear, hold on.
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Nope, it's too rock.
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But you get it.
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But you guys, from what I just just heard, it doesn't sound that bad.
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Hey, bobby, get your fucking headphones a little off the ground.
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But oh, yeah, so I was corrected by this.
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I like met this couple in line and I did that thing where it's like you know, hey, I'll make some loose friends, these guys are right behind me, we start talking, and as soon as you do, you don't like it sometimes because when you talk to people, some people have ulterior motives, which is so weird when you are considering that you're just like gonna know each other for shorter than a fucking song.
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Mambo number five would be done before this friendship.
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No, the friendship will be done before.
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Ladies and gentlemen, I don't know the fucking your name.
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I got what was it?
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Steve and Steve Um.
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So yeah, I don't fucking, I really don't know the uh Um.
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So yeah, I don't fucking, I really don't know the uh.
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What were we talking?
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Oh, yeah, Cause they were like oh yeah, I'm going to Spokane, um, doing some comedy shows all weekend and that's.
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I should probably say that that's what I'm going to be here all weekend at the Spokane comedy club in Spokane, washington, with wisconsin wisconsin, with jay chander sekar jay chander sekar, um, and I grew up watching him, which is which, and I can get into this.
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Uh, I've I actors I don't know their names like I, uh, tig notaro used to have this sick ass show where she was like it was called under a rock and she would just interview people and be like I don't know who, who you are by the end.
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Try to find out why they were famous and who they were.
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And I feel like that because I've seen Super Troopers, super Troopers 2, club Dread Beer Fest Waiting for Pot Fest.
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Oh, my God, I got long hair.
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Let me play a young Willie Nelson getting high for the first time.
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Just a Willie Nelson.
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That's like hey, man, there's more to life than getting high.
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You want to go get some food?
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What are you looking at, man?
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Um, why are there so many songs about rainbows and what's on the other side?
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Other side of I don't even know what's on the other side of a rainbow.
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I fucking for sure don't know what's the rest of the home.
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Why are there so many songs about rainbows?
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What's on the other side?
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I am a dreamer.
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The dreamer, the creamers and me and me, oh, willie would be proud, cause he knows, he knows about getting fucking ripped.
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What if Willie Nelson wasn't hitting it this whole time?
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Dude, willie Nelson literally is like and they're like hey, that kind of looks like you, did you inhale that?
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And he's like yeah, he just puts it in his mouth and blow and they're like, hey, that kind of looks like you, did you inhale that?
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And he's like, yeah, he just puts it in his mouth and Willie Nelson's been faking it this whole time.
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That would actually Him and Snoop Dogg and they both know it.
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So like, if they're ever like at those things where it's like everyone's like we're all smoking weed with the weed smokers and they like they'll accidentally inhale and then they're like that was scary.
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Willie's like I know buddy, um, so yeah, I uh.
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But yeah, I didn't know, I did not know his name and that's uh, that's sad.
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I don't know if that is, but it's like you can.
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I feel like it's interesting to have so much like uh, admiration for someone that's like I mean dude.
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I still say my brother texted me.
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He's like, hey, have good shows, meow, I text people meow.
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I still say, instead of now, meow, which is from Super Troopers.
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They're just like that's like part of it, and there's something that's so beautiful and so fucking funny to me about that, that like you can have something that's like it's so iconic, and then I love, yeah.
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The second one is so fucking funny too.
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They go to Canada.
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Where do they make fun of them for saying Because they make fun, they're like oh fuck, I can't remember the name, um, it's been a couple years since I've seen it, but I thought that movie was fucking great.
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Um, so I'm excited to work with Jay, but that here's the thing that happened to me recently.
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I so I was doing a show, uh, I was opening for, uh, vincent Bryant at, uh, the Helium in St Louis.
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We do the show and the show was incredible.
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I've been on a real streak of like I feel like as a comic, you get better shows over time, but I've been really like just fucking having so much fun on stage.
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And I was on stage and I didn't know it at the time, but Vincent Bryant's mom was sitting up front and so I start talking to her or, no, sorry, I had to start talking to her because I, I had to start talking to her because I was like I used to be a firefighter and his mom starts dying, laughing, which I was like oh cool, usually I never get that big of a laugh like that.
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And I could not even get into the act because she could not stop laughing.
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She could not.
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She physically was like I can't.
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I was like I can't.
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I was like and I said this I was like I've never gotten so many laughs from my setup that I couldn't get to my punchlines that I don't have Uh and so uh, and then I go into.
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I was like, and I was like I was a substitute teacher and she died harder.
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I was like you don't can I.
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You're like the opposite of like.
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When my family growing up like, you're like the only thing you can be as a comedian.
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And so after the show I was saying hi to Vincent's mom and she was being so sweet and I met some more of his family.
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And then this fucking guy walks by and I was like.
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And then this fucking guy walks by and I was like and like you know, sometimes you'll be like I think that's someone that as soon as you see like you see a third of their face and you're like that's Tony.
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And then you see the rest of your face and you're like no.
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So I was at the club and I see this guy and I tried to ask.
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I was like do you know that is?
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And they were like what?
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And I didn't want to miss my opportunity Cause he was like walking away and I was like I don't try to be annoying, but I wanted to pay homage to, or whatever it's called.
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He's not, it's homage only if you're dead.
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But I was like I just I was like, hey man, I'm sorry I don't know your name, but I go, you are.
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And dude, this guy, this guy was the epitome of cool.
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This guy seemed like everything whenever you want to meet, like an actor or a musician or whatever.
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And he was with his wife, angela, and I mean they just I said it, but they had this like aura around them.
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And I know that people say you're like it's green or what I don't.
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I'm just saying that when I was around them it felt like and I've never done a float tank, but it felt like you got into a float tank around them.
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You're just like whoa, this is very peaceful and loving.
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And so, anyway, this comic or this actor, I walk up and I was like are you?
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I think you are.
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He goes, who do you think I am?
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And I go Malcolm in the middle.
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And he goes, yeah, and I go, oh, my God.
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And then I go, dude, I'm getting chills.
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And I go, oh, and I cause I didn't even think of it right away, cause I thought of Malcolm in the middle first and I go jeepers, creepers too, and he starts laughing.
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I go that's my favorite horror movie and I get it.
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And I think he would agree, cause I asked I go, what was your favorite project you've done?
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He goes that one and he's like I'm just fucking with you.
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He was like great set generation kill.
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That's the one I liked, and so I've been watching that show, which is fucking very it's like.
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You're like oh, I don't like.
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It's a good perspective as far as like an artistic thing, but you're like I don't feel very good learning.
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I'm, I'm seeing this stuff and it's not.
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It's not, it's just actors, but it's still fucking.
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You're like whoa um.
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But yeah, I was like are you?
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I think you are, and his name is eric nettinger and I have been watching that guy since forever and I'm such a fucking fan of seeing people that I've looked up to.
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Let me just make sure I'm recording.
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We are yeah, vr um.
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Yeah, vr, hayden Christensen, or whatever he said that.
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Yeah, vr in Silicon Valley, I don't know.
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Okay, the whole podcast is plagiarized.
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I thought that place said colonoscopy, it just says canopy.
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I'm fucked up.
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So I met Eric Nenninger.
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Could not have been nicer.
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We got to talk about like movies and stuff and his TV shows and I was just like, and he goes, dude, you had a great set.
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I was like that's insane that you saw me.
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I was just like this is crazy.
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I go, I'm like I don't want to bother you guys anymore.
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I this way, I actually need to go that way, I'll take the long way home, you take the long way home.
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So, um, yeah, so I'm just like and I feel like I'm lucking out on all that shit too, dude, because I uh, oh, and then last night I got to go I see, I think you should leave live, got to go see and do it.
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The whole fucking cast was there.
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It was fucking Tim Robinson, robinson, everybody else I'm not going to name everybody, but but, um, brooks Wheeling got me tickets to go see that show and they did like they did longer versions of sketches and then some unseen sketches and I mean I had tears in my eyes and like I I love when I'm laughing so hard that I like can't help it, like what the fuck?
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Like you say something out loud, cause I'm a comic.
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We're at shows all the time and we laugh and we enjoy it.
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But when you for like, when you're taken to another level and that whole show was so fucking fun.
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They only have a couple of shows left, uh, I believe on the West coast, but at San Diego all that stuff, if you can go, it's awesome.
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And so, yes, huge shout out to brooks wheelan for getting me, uh, tickets to go watch their show because it was so fucking fun.
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And then we went backstage and hung out and I was like I dude, I fucking dude.
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Sometimes, whenever it's like you see all these cool people, you're like I can't really say hi, like I got to like say like hi to a couple people real quick and like I've kind of ran into whitmer thomas couple times, but it's like I mean fucking.
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You know Patty Harrison walks in the room and you're like the queen of funny, like you know.
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You're like because also, you don't want to like say something stupid in a whole room, like like I was trying to just say a story and everyone started to pay attention to me and it scared me so much that I like I didn't.
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I can't remember what story I told and I definitely don't think everything about it was like fitting.
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I think I was just like uh-huh, and then I was like sick but I got to tell him I got to see little baby buff boys live, not this time.
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I saw it back in the day at SNL.
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Brooks wheelan wrote that sketch that they had like they were like did a version of it and we went to snl, we were at the rehearsal and we got to see it but it was like cut for time and they changed it.
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Now it's like it was like a different version, but they had fucking guys come out with like fucking big arms and like they had fake little prosthetic tiny legs that they were walking out on.
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It's funny.
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I fall back, imagine I fall back off this ledge and die.
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It's just like like someone comes up like dude, this is like I go.
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Oh, I fucking like fall to my death.
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And then eventually some guy walks by and he like comes into frame.
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He's like oh, he like sees me into frame.
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He's like oh, he like sees me and he's like and then it's like a whole grudge situation.
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He sits down.
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He's like hi, this is my podcast now.
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Oh my god, that's a fucking seagull.
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Do you fucking do birds know that?
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They're hot as fuck?
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Like?
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You know what I mean.
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Like like all animals have this like beautiful way about them.
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They have the exact amount of fucking fat you're supposed to.
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I'm not attracted to animals, by the way.
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I'm not saying that.
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I'm just saying that, like this bird just flew by and there and there's something about that fucking like energy that you're just like what.
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Like I watched a video of like a swan, land or whatever, and then like a goose, whatever, but it like fucking and it paddles its little feet but as soon as it lands, how it like folds everything back up into itself like a fucking.
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Like nature's transformers, you know, nature's trans formers, yeah, and nature is trans, like everything.
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Like I mean, it's very.
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They're like, literally frogs are like, if you need me to be a fucking woman, I will.
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I just I'll change right now.
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I just they go, they, they go.
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Instead of ribbiting out, they swallow their ribbit.
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They go um, what the fuck was I talking about?
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Oh, yeah, someone did.
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This becomes their podcast.
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So, yeah, I am all over the place.
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I am exhausted.
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I've been getting like these, like little naps everywhere.
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Here's this one.
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Okay, so I was in.
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There's so much to catch up on.
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I'm just going to do it.
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How I do it Like.
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The podcast is named Death.
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We're all over the fucking place.
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Oh, I got it.
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We'll fucking do this again.
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I got to get my fuck.
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I get a photo for the beginning, all right, um, oh, my god, I fucking legit just almost okay, that was weird because I leaned back, but it's not even, and I thought there'd be a little bit more even.
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Look at this.
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You can't see, but some jackass is coming by on one of those, like it's like a skateboard but it's got an engine on it and I'm gonna be honest, it's weird seeing a guy on one of those that doesn't look like he could regular skateboard and this guy is going way faster than any fucking bearing rating can get you.
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This guy's going.
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This guy's going on flat ground, like people go on fucking, uh, like in fucking San Francisco, down those steep ass hills.
00:17:34.392 --> 00:17:37.357
Um, oh yeah, I'm gonna tell you guys about this nap.
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I thought, okay, so here's what.
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So I've been.
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I like I had to sleep cause I drove out to Arizona, so there's a couple of times I slept in my car.
00:17:43.761 --> 00:17:46.356
Not bad, I don't mind sleeping in my car.
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I really don't, because so many people are like that sucks and you got to do it safe or whatever.
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That's the first thing.
00:17:50.704 --> 00:17:55.604
But also it's like I hate getting a fucking hotel for to take a nap.
00:17:55.604 --> 00:18:22.123
And then it's like and you got to be out by 11 and we have breakfast of eggs and it tastes like if we, if we fucking boiled the soles of shoes and then made them yellow, we fluffed up some fucking souls of shoes and you watch fucking families down there fucking scarfing it down, eating that sausage that when you bite into it you were like what the hell was that casing?
00:18:22.123 --> 00:18:29.171
The casing is somehow see-through same thickness and consistency of a $100 bill.
00:18:29.171 --> 00:18:32.823
A crisp, a $100 bill, a crisp, new $100 bill.
00:18:32.823 --> 00:18:36.544
That's the sausages you get at a free continental breakfast.
00:18:36.544 --> 00:18:38.107
And at which continent?
00:18:38.107 --> 00:18:39.882
The fucking cool one.
00:18:43.695 --> 00:18:59.503
So, oh, dude, we got people walking down, so we're going to find out how quickly and interestingly, people because it's kids, so if they come down I can't really get into anything cool and they'll also probably come over and try to fucking do like the fucking, like that dance in there.
00:18:59.503 --> 00:19:05.115
But honestly, by me having just a microphone and looking how I do, people pretend that they want to come over here.
00:19:05.115 --> 00:19:06.739
I'm at the coolest, like overlook.
00:19:06.739 --> 00:19:09.807
I definitely took up a good area, but hey, it's for everybody.
00:19:09.807 --> 00:19:15.037
And people come halfway down look at it and they're like that was far enough, I don't need to go by that guy who looks like he stinks.
00:19:15.037 --> 00:19:22.547
I don't actually might.
00:19:23.087 --> 00:19:33.760
So, yeah, I drove to Arizona and then that night I saw the show and then I hung out backstage for like a little bit and then they were like we're going to this bar and I go to go to it, and but it was closed and so they went.
00:19:33.760 --> 00:19:36.482
They were like I messaged one of the guys and they, like we went to another bar.
00:19:36.482 --> 00:19:43.422
Sick ass way to ditch somebody which they didn't I know for I know for all the facts and whatever.
00:19:43.422 --> 00:19:53.284
Um, yeah, I'm trying to think we used to do that in St Louis.
00:19:53.284 --> 00:19:57.185
I would tell people like there'd be these like bro-y dudes.
00:19:57.185 --> 00:19:59.221
I'd be like hey, where's the chicks?
00:19:59.221 --> 00:19:59.703
In St Louis?
00:19:59.703 --> 00:20:00.901
Like I don't remember where we were this time.
00:20:00.901 --> 00:20:03.724
These guys are like literally like hey, where do we get chicks around here?
00:20:03.724 --> 00:20:08.922
And I don't remember which gay bar we said, but we definitely told them a gay bar.
00:20:08.922 --> 00:20:15.903
And who knows, maybe some people found out their true colors that night.
00:20:15.903 --> 00:20:19.580
Maybe we got more people walking down.
00:20:19.580 --> 00:20:21.003
I'm going to see if they want to be on my podcast.
00:20:21.003 --> 00:20:24.742
They might, they fucking absolutely might want to be, but we will see.
00:20:25.525 --> 00:20:27.237
Oh my God, your dog is so cute.
00:20:27.237 --> 00:20:28.539
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:20:28.539 --> 00:20:30.785
Oh my God, your dog is so cute, yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:20:30.785 --> 00:20:32.048
Oh my God, is he going to get up on the rock?
00:20:32.048 --> 00:20:37.599
Oh my gosh, yeah Well, I almost fell off of it.
00:20:37.694 --> 00:20:38.939
So that's just how it goes.
00:20:38.939 --> 00:20:42.141
Yeah, we're all having a very close days.
00:20:42.141 --> 00:20:42.702
Yeah for sure.
00:20:42.702 --> 00:20:57.286
I just got a smile and pretend Luckily they can't hear me over this babbling Brooke, she's calling, she's on the phone, she's calling the police.
00:20:57.286 --> 00:20:59.575
Um, oh, yeah, so here's what happened.
00:20:59.976 --> 00:21:05.414
So I was, uh, so I, we do the show, and then I go to this bar and then it's like it's closed.
00:21:05.414 --> 00:21:11.808
And then I was like, yeah, dude, I was like, I was like I think I'm just gonna, I guess, go to the airport.
00:21:11.808 --> 00:21:24.586
But here's the thing my flight was at 545, no 515, loading on at 445, and they say you're supposed to get there two hours early, and I get there usually three because I'm so scared.
00:21:24.586 --> 00:21:29.186
I'm gonna get there and they're gonna be like, hey, idiot, you forgot your whatever I forgot.
00:21:29.186 --> 00:21:32.775
Like, hey, idiot, you forgot your whatever I forgot.
00:21:32.775 --> 00:21:42.666
But I get to the airport, I park my car, I pay and I'm like sitting there and I'm like, oh no, this is what happened to I.
00:21:42.788 --> 00:21:43.849
I went to McDonald's first.
00:21:43.849 --> 00:21:52.301
I did eat McDonald's and I've been eating gas station food and McDonald's pretty much exclusively.
00:21:52.301 --> 00:22:00.518
This week has been eating just really shitty gas station food and my shit smell like dog shit and I know that that's not.
00:22:00.518 --> 00:22:08.299
You know, when you step in shit and it gets on your shoe and you smear it and as soon as you do, that fresh stink that was that's my poop.
00:22:08.299 --> 00:22:16.729
I was literally at the airport and I was like, oh my God, I smell like my dog shit.
00:22:16.729 --> 00:22:19.491
I smell like a bag of dog shit.
00:22:19.491 --> 00:22:25.548
So, um, yeah.
00:22:25.607 --> 00:22:31.726
So then I was like I guess I'm going to get to the airport early and I even show up and I was like I start walking in and I'm like I can't, what am I going to do?
00:22:31.726 --> 00:22:32.859
I don't even know if it's open.
00:22:32.859 --> 00:22:35.740
That's how few times I've flown.
00:22:35.740 --> 00:22:40.801
I was like just do it, dude, and then go sleep in the fucking on the ground, like they show those Thanksgiving photos.
00:22:40.801 --> 00:22:41.585
Like look at these people.
00:22:41.585 --> 00:22:52.998
It's like it's everyone does it.
00:22:52.998 --> 00:22:54.119
It's the least gross thing people do at the airport.
00:22:54.119 --> 00:22:59.390
Um, dude, eventually there's just going to be showers at your fucking gate, just people fucking naked washing down the back.
00:22:59.390 --> 00:23:07.007
I'll be there in a second, which I did happen to me.
00:23:07.007 --> 00:23:11.805
Uh, cause I'm this, this these are multiple stories about being on the road and all this gross shit that's been asked.
00:23:12.855 --> 00:23:15.023
On the road, I had to stop in Arizona.
00:23:15.023 --> 00:23:17.743
I stopped at a YMCA to shower because I'm like I'm not getting a hotel room.
00:23:17.743 --> 00:23:23.222
I'm going to the fucking airport, like right after anyway, and so I go to the YMCA.
00:23:23.222 --> 00:23:29.981
I go up front and I'm like, hey, I need a day pass.
00:23:29.981 --> 00:23:35.424
And to get a day pass, just so you know, I have a joke in my act talking about how easy it is to become a substitute.
00:23:35.424 --> 00:23:42.409
There is more paperwork to get a day pass to a YMCA than to teach the youth of the nation we are.
00:23:42.409 --> 00:23:45.224
We are the youth of the nation we are.
00:23:45.224 --> 00:23:46.618
We are the youth of the nation.
00:23:46.618 --> 00:23:50.641
Back to you nation, um yeah, the youth of the nation.
00:23:50.641 --> 00:23:51.185
Back to you nation, um, yeah.
00:23:51.185 --> 00:23:52.736
So this guy, I go hey, man, can I get, like, a fucking day pass?
00:23:52.736 --> 00:23:55.402
It's 15 bucks, I'm not kidding you.
00:23:56.203 --> 00:23:58.857
This guy was very nice, but he starts like he's, you know.
00:23:58.857 --> 00:23:59.804
He just starts chatting with me.
00:23:59.804 --> 00:24:00.448
I'm like, oh, it's cool.
00:24:00.448 --> 00:24:01.816
And he goes what are you in town for?
00:24:01.816 --> 00:24:03.963
And I was like, oh, I'm just in time to see a show.
00:24:03.963 --> 00:24:04.566
I'm a comic.
00:24:04.566 --> 00:24:09.039
And he goes oh, really interesting, I know a comic.
00:24:09.060 --> 00:24:10.042
I went to high school with a comic.
00:24:10.042 --> 00:24:12.557
He's like you might not know him, I go, what's his name?
00:24:12.557 --> 00:24:13.059
You can try me.
00:24:13.059 --> 00:24:14.299
And he goes oh, todd Glass.
00:24:14.299 --> 00:24:15.144
I go, fuck.
00:24:15.144 --> 00:24:16.035
Yeah, I know Todd Glass.
00:24:16.035 --> 00:24:17.622
I don't know him personally, but I know of him.
00:24:17.622 --> 00:24:18.277
I'm a big fan.
00:24:18.277 --> 00:24:18.959
He's hilarious.
00:24:18.959 --> 00:24:20.884
He goes yeah, I went to high school with him.
00:24:20.884 --> 00:24:21.246
He was funny.
00:24:21.246 --> 00:24:22.115
I tell you what?
00:24:22.115 --> 00:24:27.830
Only in comedy are you allowed to do that.
00:24:27.830 --> 00:24:38.176
Like, no one watches mark mcguire take steroids and hit fucking home runs into fucking big mac land, and they're like you know what?
00:24:38.176 --> 00:24:42.271
When we were six, I fucking struck them out.
00:24:42.271 --> 00:24:45.559
It's like, yeah, that's how that's.
00:24:45.559 --> 00:24:47.565
Yeah, you didn't anyway.
00:24:47.565 --> 00:24:50.153
So he starts talking about that.
00:24:50.153 --> 00:24:50.886
And then I go.
00:24:50.906 --> 00:24:52.173
I was like, hey man, I'm gonna take a shower.
00:24:52.173 --> 00:24:56.432
I'm not kidding about any of this, I don't really kid about a lot of stuff.
00:24:56.432 --> 00:24:59.327
I go hey man.
00:24:59.327 --> 00:25:00.854
I was like do you guys have showers?
00:25:00.854 --> 00:25:02.770
And the guy goes yeah, we have showers.
00:25:02.770 --> 00:25:06.750
And I was like that's you know cool, sorry, I go, he, I, I know I, sorry, I go.
00:25:06.750 --> 00:25:08.272
You know a child goes, you guys have towels.
00:25:08.272 --> 00:25:08.472
He goes.
00:25:08.472 --> 00:25:11.035
No, he goes, well, if you want.
00:25:11.175 --> 00:25:11.955
And then he goes into the.
00:25:11.955 --> 00:25:20.547
I swear to fucking God, he goes into, like the bucket, where they like throw the old basketballs, and pulls out this like microfiber towel-ish thing and he goes.
00:25:20.547 --> 00:25:22.868
We use this to clean up, do you want this?
00:25:22.868 --> 00:25:25.612
And I go no, I have a towel, I'm just asking.
00:25:25.612 --> 00:25:26.792
I go.
00:25:26.792 --> 00:25:32.577
Do people say and I think this is when the guy started his lies that you're like you can't call someone out, but I think they were lying.
00:25:32.577 --> 00:25:35.400
I go, hey, man, do people say yes to that towel?
00:25:35.400 --> 00:25:37.561
And he goes oh, yeah, and I go, but isn't it dirty?
00:25:37.561 --> 00:25:42.232
And he goes yeah, a little bit.
00:25:42.232 --> 00:25:43.175
We like clean it a little bit.
00:25:43.175 --> 00:25:46.587
We like he goes, we'll clean, like spills up, and I go and people use it.
00:25:46.587 --> 00:25:55.102
And he goes yeah, but then I guess he got caught up in that lie so much that he started going for another lie and the other lie also.
00:25:55.102 --> 00:25:55.923
I just asked him.
00:25:56.305 --> 00:25:58.871
I wasn't trying to make fun of him, I just was like are you being serious?
00:25:58.871 --> 00:26:00.695
I go, I have a towel.
00:26:00.695 --> 00:26:02.190
He's like you know I'll use, I don't even.
00:26:02.190 --> 00:26:03.214
I don't even use a towel.
00:26:03.214 --> 00:26:06.728
He tried to be a cool guy, like so you know people be like I'm not cold.
00:26:06.728 --> 00:26:11.018
I think you you can fake that or have a different blood pressure or whatever.
00:26:11.144 --> 00:26:19.355
Wear shorts all through cross-country running, but there's no fucking way that you dry quicker than other human beings.
00:26:19.355 --> 00:26:33.028
There's no way that you have a river and he was jacked, but that old man jacked where it looks like he's jacked, but then put on a pair of like an oversized body, he has all these like rivers running down.
00:26:33.028 --> 00:26:34.695
He's like yeah, I just dry off and I go.
00:26:34.695 --> 00:26:35.638
You're joking.
00:26:35.638 --> 00:26:36.362
He goes.
00:26:36.362 --> 00:26:40.712
No, I don't even use, I don't even use a towel.
00:26:40.712 --> 00:26:48.032
Okay, he goes and some people use those blowers if you want, but if not, you can have this dirty towel, just sit and dry off.
00:26:48.032 --> 00:26:49.575
Oh, fuck, fuck.
00:26:49.575 --> 00:26:50.696
Hold on one second.
00:26:50.696 --> 00:26:52.038
My fuck, this thing died.
00:26:52.038 --> 00:26:58.352
Fuck, storage full, not now, do that later, do that later.
00:26:58.913 --> 00:27:07.432
We're gonna keep recording as I switch over to another video, because that's what we gotta do on Discombob you laid it.
00:27:07.432 --> 00:27:09.518
That's what we gotta do on Discombob.
00:27:09.518 --> 00:27:11.746
Gotta do on discombob.
00:27:11.746 --> 00:27:14.571
You laid it, that's what we gotta do on discombob, you laid it, that's what we gonna do.
00:27:14.571 --> 00:27:21.872
We fuck up, we try to delete stuff, we try to get stuff off our phone, but it seems like it's never ending and everything takes up so much fucking space.
00:27:21.872 --> 00:27:26.665
Everything, including me, I take up space.
00:27:26.665 --> 00:27:28.329
Can you fucking turn on a little faster?
00:27:28.329 --> 00:27:33.373
And I tell you what if I start recording with this one, I tell you what.
00:27:33.373 --> 00:27:43.000
I tell you what, my friends, if I start recording, nope, I need to do it in 30 frames.
00:27:43.000 --> 00:27:46.105
No, no, no, are we just gonna?
00:27:46.105 --> 00:27:47.792
No HD?
00:27:47.792 --> 00:27:55.785
Sorry folks, sorry folks, sorry folks, it's a psychobilly.
00:27:55.904 --> 00:27:56.910
Technical difficulties.
00:27:56.910 --> 00:27:59.973
How is that?
00:27:59.973 --> 00:28:02.171
Oh, good, not bad.
00:28:02.171 --> 00:28:07.251
So let's just make sure we're fucking recording on the other one.
00:28:07.251 --> 00:28:10.026
Hey, it's called discombobulated and it is alright.
00:28:10.026 --> 00:28:10.307
Triple, triple.
00:28:10.307 --> 00:28:11.549
Let's just make sure we're fucking recording on the other one.
00:28:11.549 --> 00:28:12.613
Hey, it's called discombobulated and it is All right.
00:28:12.613 --> 00:28:15.622
Triple, triple, check that we're recording.
00:28:15.622 --> 00:28:19.034
Good, some river sounds.
00:28:19.153 --> 00:28:19.796
Why would I do that?
00:28:19.796 --> 00:28:24.219
I dropped my mic, fucking.
00:28:24.219 --> 00:28:27.654
So yeah, who cares?
00:28:27.654 --> 00:28:30.912
Yeah, dirty towel, you can use a dirty towel.
00:28:30.912 --> 00:28:32.355
You just fucking just dry off.
00:28:32.355 --> 00:28:34.337
He's like, or you can just do what I do.
00:28:34.337 --> 00:28:35.500
I actually don't shower anymore.
00:28:35.500 --> 00:28:38.535
I was like waiting for that guy to be like I actually don't shower, I just shake.
00:28:38.535 --> 00:28:41.974
I shake really hard and the dirt just goes off.
00:28:41.974 --> 00:29:02.298
He like spins really fast, like he's getting ready, like Sabrina Sabrina, the teenage witch in the intro, she's like spinning.
00:29:02.298 --> 00:29:07.261
She's like got different outfits on, like she spins, she's a nun, she spins she's a fucking skateboarder.
00:29:07.261 --> 00:29:16.953
And then at the end she like does something like where she's got like a fucking French hat, she's like, oh, I'll take french fries with that.
00:29:16.973 --> 00:29:57.209
And then it's like goes to an episode of that show which on that show, caroline ray, a stand-up comedian, and one of the first times no, no, it wasn't the first time, it was, uh, one of the last times I was at I was in la, and it's like there's something that'll never get old, like I was saying earlier about seeing people that you like you grew up with, especially when you find out they do stand up to just be somewhere and be like I grew up watching you, you and your magical sisters fucking poking your finger in and out of stuff, poking people in problems, dating guys and kissing french fries.
00:29:57.209 --> 00:30:00.116
Sorry about that.
00:30:00.116 --> 00:30:02.318
What was I sorry about?
00:30:02.318 --> 00:30:04.412
I think I'm sorry that there was so much chaotic stuff.
00:30:04.412 --> 00:30:13.117
Okay, and then, dude, this is, this is a part of the airport I didn't know existed.
00:30:13.117 --> 00:30:17.273
There's like a conjugal visit room or something.
00:30:17.273 --> 00:30:19.833
So here's what happened.
00:30:21.546 --> 00:30:27.673
I get to the airport early, like I said, and I get there and it's like 1 am and I'm literally the only person that went through TSA.
00:30:27.673 --> 00:30:28.509
I've never, ever been that ever.
00:30:28.509 --> 00:30:29.960
But I also don't literally the only person that went through TSA.
00:30:29.960 --> 00:30:52.598
I've never, ever been that ever and I but I also don't think people always exaggerate like how hard it is, like dude, fucking TSA, whatever, but sometimes it does feel like that when they're like, take it off, take off your jacket, like that fucking tick, tock, so which is banned, actually I think, hey, let's get the band back together and get banned.
00:30:52.598 --> 00:30:56.252
But I get to the airport and I go to sit down.
00:30:56.252 --> 00:30:57.671
I'm the only person in the airport.
00:30:57.724 --> 00:31:00.034
I'm like Tom Hanks in that movie none of us ever watched.
00:31:00.034 --> 00:31:04.829
What's that fucking movie called the Terminal?
00:31:04.829 --> 00:31:17.715
Tom Hanks with an accent and he's just brushing his teeth at the airport and he's like making friends with people like I and people there's probably someone's like.
00:31:17.715 --> 00:31:18.806
That's not the point of the movie.
00:31:18.806 --> 00:31:24.327
Yeah, I haven't seen the fucking movie and the previews didn't show me enough or make me think I should see it.
00:31:25.471 --> 00:31:34.837
So I'm Tom Hanks and I'm sitting down and I'm that kind of tired where I'm like I know I can't lay down but I can't like figure out how to get myself comfortable.
00:31:34.837 --> 00:31:40.894
And then I like fall asleep, real hard dip in my head, and then I put my arms on my legs and go down.
00:31:40.894 --> 00:31:51.673
And then this woman comes up and she's like sir, sir, and I was like am I in trouble?
00:31:51.673 --> 00:31:55.673
Like it just had that feeling where I didn't know how to explain it.
00:31:55.673 --> 00:31:59.214
But I was like I feel like I know I did something wrong and she goes.
00:31:59.214 --> 00:32:03.056
No, she's like, sir, do you want to lay down?
00:32:03.056 --> 00:32:06.413
And I was like, yeah, where do I lay down?
00:32:06.413 --> 00:32:09.795
And I was like I was so confused and she worked there.
00:32:15.424 --> 00:32:16.469
She goes, goes they call me chocolate, swear to god.
00:32:16.469 --> 00:32:17.673
And she goes and she goes you want to lay down?
00:32:17.673 --> 00:32:18.498
She goes, yeah, she goes, follow me.
00:32:18.498 --> 00:32:19.079
And I go, okay, and I go.
00:32:19.079 --> 00:32:22.028
You're not gonna put me in like a one of those like diaper changing stations, are you?
00:32:22.028 --> 00:32:31.606
She goes, uh-uh, and we, she opens up like a this family room and opens it up and it looked like a room that like conjugal visits at a fucking jail happened.
00:32:31.606 --> 00:32:41.005
It just was like a fucking medical kind of a bed, a shitter way over here, and then like a baby chasing station, and she was like when's your flight?
00:32:41.005 --> 00:32:43.105
And I was like not, for like a couple hours.
00:32:43.105 --> 00:32:44.550
She's like, yeah, you can just stay in here.
00:32:45.287 --> 00:32:54.192
And I set some alarms and I kept waking up, I just just being like, did I miss my flight?
00:32:54.192 --> 00:32:56.237
Because that is like you can't go.
00:32:56.237 --> 00:32:59.373
It's so weird, like what is that in your what?
00:32:59.373 --> 00:33:11.909
That's how you know that like your subconscious or whatever, like you're, you're a powerful person that you can like tell yourself to be like don't fall asleep too hard.
00:33:11.909 --> 00:33:19.796
And you can be wrong sometimes, like I did it the other night where I was like supposed to change over my laundry and I go 15 minutes and then I even set an alarm.
00:33:19.796 --> 00:33:29.351
I was like okay, and I set it and then it went off and I just hit it and then I was like set it for five minutes and then I don't remember waking up.
00:33:29.351 --> 00:33:36.832
I must have just, but I kept killing these alarms and then finally made it out and then so, and then I made it all the way here.
00:33:36.832 --> 00:33:39.613
God bless, thank God.
00:33:39.613 --> 00:33:41.704
God bless Texas.
00:33:42.868 --> 00:33:45.769
So the yeah, it's.
00:33:45.769 --> 00:33:46.512
Uh, what do we?
00:33:46.512 --> 00:33:47.854
What do we talk about this episode?
00:33:47.854 --> 00:33:58.096
Let's, let's recap, let's see if I can remember opening for jay chander, sahar.
00:33:58.096 --> 00:34:04.087
Oh, I was, oh, that's you know what, and I'm probably gonna talk about it again because I had so much fun.
00:34:04.087 --> 00:34:12.016
I was just in lexington, kentucky, opening for randy felt face and that fucking club absolutely fucking crushes.
00:34:12.016 --> 00:34:13.731
I can't wait to go back.
00:34:13.731 --> 00:34:19.748
I really mean that, like, sometimes you go to places and like I'll be like that was a great club, this was a great club.
00:34:19.748 --> 00:34:26.592
And then some Like the staff did that thing where they make you feel like you're family all week and they like hang out and you get to like chill.
00:34:26.592 --> 00:34:36.931
They made sure, like I tried to tip one of them and they were like no, I'm like no, this, this is how it goes.
00:34:36.931 --> 00:34:39.786
Like this, this is all flowing, this is all flowing.
00:34:39.786 --> 00:34:45.858
I'm getting paid, you're getting, we're all sharing, sharing in the wealth and the shows.
00:34:45.858 --> 00:34:47.387
All five shows were killer too.
00:34:47.387 --> 00:34:49.552
All fucking five shows were great.
00:34:49.552 --> 00:34:52.539
And then the last show, on Saturday, was by far the best.
00:34:52.539 --> 00:35:07.268
I was one of those ones where I was like I wish I had a video and I recorded it with my phone, but it's one of those ones where I was like I just wish I had it because it was so extra, extra, fun, extra, extra.
00:35:07.268 --> 00:35:12.358
It really was, and so I hope I get to come back there.
00:35:12.358 --> 00:35:13.347
But yeah, I've been all over the place.
00:35:13.347 --> 00:35:17.311
Fucking Kentucky Went down to Austin.
00:35:17.706 --> 00:35:18.106
I was at.
00:35:18.106 --> 00:35:26.117
I didn't sign up because I was there too late, but they were signing up for Kill Tony and I.
00:35:26.117 --> 00:35:41.144
There's so many comics that are either brand new to sign up or there's guys that have been doing it for a long time and we're hanging out and I'm standing there hanging out and it's, it's just like comics, you know.
00:35:41.144 --> 00:35:48.016
We're sitting there hanging out and then there's like a new guy.
00:35:48.016 --> 00:35:51.273
You can tell that doesn't he like doesn't have a place where he fits in, and I know how that feels.
00:35:51.273 --> 00:35:51.914
I do it every week.
00:35:51.914 --> 00:35:57.152
You kind of like find your way through a club and like make sure that you're not just like the guy walking around.
00:35:57.152 --> 00:35:58.536
That's like they're like that's the act.
00:35:58.536 --> 00:35:59.666
He's not talking to anybody.
00:35:59.666 --> 00:36:19.713
Oh, I forgot my point and I was even recapping and I was talking about the comedy club, good-ass shows, oh, fudge.
00:36:19.713 --> 00:36:27.152
Oh, I was talking about Austin and, yeah, watching these guys just be comics.
00:36:29.585 --> 00:36:35.197
And then this fucking guy that walked up to me and our group and he was like he literally.
00:36:35.197 --> 00:36:36.358
Here's the thing.
00:36:36.358 --> 00:36:48.650
I'm wondering if, like, certain levels of bullying are I'm not going to say good or bad, I'm going to use the word helpful because I've heard other people say it's not.
00:36:48.650 --> 00:36:54.427
That premise is not my own of like people are like maybe we should bring it back bullying or make you know it's like good.
00:36:54.427 --> 00:36:58.684
I don't think so, but I witnessed something where this guy walked up to us.
00:36:58.684 --> 00:37:00.588
He goes are you guys comics?
00:37:00.588 --> 00:37:03.474
And we were like, yeah, I think everyone here is yeah.
00:37:03.474 --> 00:37:07.628
And he goes oh cool, I just want to hang out with some comics.
00:37:07.628 --> 00:37:09.429
And and I said with you and we're like oh yeah, man, sit down.
00:37:12.153 --> 00:37:16.541
And as soon as this fuck sat down, he literally goes what did my buddy have?
00:37:16.541 --> 00:37:20.405
He had a.
00:37:20.405 --> 00:37:21.010
It was something stupid.
00:37:21.010 --> 00:37:22.659
Like he made fun of his beer or something like that.
00:37:22.659 --> 00:37:25.106
He was like oh wow, you're drinking Lone Star.
00:37:25.106 --> 00:37:25.887
It was something stupid.
00:37:25.887 --> 00:37:27.469
And I go no, no, no, no.
00:37:27.469 --> 00:37:37.699
You just went from having no friends and standing by yourself to coming over here and then just making fun and I'm all down for the bit, but that can't be the first thing you do.
00:37:37.699 --> 00:37:48.461
You can't just jump rope in, you can't double dutch in and then try to take our jump ropes.
00:37:48.461 --> 00:37:52.483
You just can't do that.
00:37:52.483 --> 00:37:54.690
But he tried and I had to tell the guy.
00:37:54.690 --> 00:37:55.052
I really did.
00:37:55.052 --> 00:37:55.594
I had to tell the guy.
00:37:55.594 --> 00:37:56.137
I was like, hey, man, I don't.
00:37:56.137 --> 00:37:57.905
I was like I don't know what that was, but you kidding, he goes.
00:37:57.905 --> 00:37:58.688
No, you're right.
00:37:58.688 --> 00:38:00.934
And he just kept trying to hang and I'm like I've done it.
00:38:00.934 --> 00:38:02.387
I've, I still do it sometimes.
00:38:02.407 --> 00:38:10.596
There's times you're hanging out with the comic and you're like you don't care if they think you're cool, but you kind of do do and it's like just as a person.
00:38:10.596 --> 00:38:11.918
You're not trying to be like do you think I was funny?
00:38:11.918 --> 00:38:15.351
You're just like you, like me, and so maybe that's what this guy was doing.
00:38:15.351 --> 00:38:17.353
But he literally didn't even know how to talk with comics.
00:38:17.353 --> 00:38:21.215
I was like yeah, yeah, yeah, and then we'll go over and get some.
00:38:21.215 --> 00:38:25.166
You know, I almost said I was trying to just be like what was I saying?
00:38:25.166 --> 00:38:26.088
Trying to just be like what was I saying?
00:38:26.108 --> 00:38:28.835
And I made it up and I was like hey, let's go over there and get some mail.
00:38:28.835 --> 00:38:33.326
Hey, let's go over there and get some stamps, get some mail.
00:38:33.326 --> 00:38:33.786
What do you guys want?
00:38:33.786 --> 00:38:34.530
Let's go get some fucking mail.
00:38:34.530 --> 00:38:36.235
Let's go pick up our mail.
00:38:36.235 --> 00:38:37.498
Hey, boys, let's go pick up the mail.
00:38:37.498 --> 00:38:41.291
Mail night, mail's on mail night.
00:38:41.291 --> 00:38:47.271
I'm the mail mail man and you can't mail this package.
00:38:47.271 --> 00:38:52.380
Ooh, yeah, that was it.
00:38:52.380 --> 00:38:52.726
It was just.
00:38:52.806 --> 00:38:53.469
I thought it was funny.
00:38:53.784 --> 00:39:00.016
It was like we're all comics and then there's a new guy and it's happened before and I've been proven wrong and I don't like that.
00:39:00.016 --> 00:39:00.688
Just so you know.
00:39:00.688 --> 00:39:03.311
There's a reason that, like, I don't know what it feels like to be left out.
00:39:03.311 --> 00:39:13.072
We've all been in high school or fucking whatever, where it's like there's times where you're cool, not cool whatever different groups, no group in-between groups at an orgy.
00:39:13.072 --> 00:39:22.001
But there's these times where you're like in these in-betweens and I tried to help this guy out and I was like, ah, maybe you should learn a little bit more humility first.
00:39:22.001 --> 00:39:23.802
But we'll always fuck it up.
00:39:23.802 --> 00:39:29.045
I have, we have, we all have.
00:39:29.045 --> 00:39:32.224
But if you have humility, don't even towel off, just let that shit just slide right off you.
00:39:32.224 --> 00:39:35.030
You don't even need to do anything, just let it go.
00:39:35.030 --> 00:39:42.445
Let it go, let it go, can't hold me back anymore, let it go.
00:39:42.445 --> 00:39:50.378
Let it go, go away and slam the door here.
00:39:50.378 --> 00:39:52.965
I am in my stomach.
00:39:55.431 --> 00:39:56.635
Why do I know so much of that song?
00:39:56.635 --> 00:40:00.255
But I couldn't remember what was it Mambo no 5 and the other song.
00:40:00.255 --> 00:40:05.027
Why are there so many songs about rainbows?
00:40:05.027 --> 00:40:09.251
And just so you know, rainbows are circles.
00:40:09.251 --> 00:40:10.965
They're in the atmosphere.
00:40:10.965 --> 00:40:17.490
They look cool from space or whatever picture they take, but it's definitely not a rainbow.
00:40:17.490 --> 00:40:20.784
We're all fucking idiots.
00:40:20.784 --> 00:40:22.411
We know nothing.
00:40:23.489 --> 00:40:27.213
My dad, when we were kids, thought the sun was not a star.
00:40:27.213 --> 00:40:32.590
I was like dad, it is, and he goes, fucking prove it.
00:40:32.590 --> 00:40:36.351
And then I fucking did and he was like oh, we're right.
00:40:36.351 --> 00:40:41.454
And what's on the other side?
00:40:41.454 --> 00:40:46.931
Don't tickle me too much.
00:40:46.931 --> 00:40:53.014
Has anyone ever went to the hospital jail for tickling?
00:40:53.014 --> 00:40:55.449
Has anyone ever went to the hospital for getting?
00:40:55.449 --> 00:40:59.137
Because people, if you ever get tickled so hard, people are like I hate it, stop please.
00:40:59.137 --> 00:41:03.146
But has anyone got tickled so hard that they're on like a crash cart and they're like what happened to him?
00:41:03.146 --> 00:41:04.148
He got tickled too hard.
00:41:04.148 --> 00:41:06.630
Oh God, keep him, get the fuck out of the way.
00:41:06.630 --> 00:41:08.670
I need some O positive blood.
00:41:08.670 --> 00:41:10.293
I just need some positivity.
00:41:10.293 --> 00:41:13.715
No, I need O neg stat, I need him to have negativity.
00:41:13.715 --> 00:41:19.840
He got tickled too hard, laughed his ass off Too much tickling O negative Stat.
00:41:19.840 --> 00:41:21.382
Buddy, that's the podcast.
00:41:21.382 --> 00:41:30.018
Love ya, or do I?