Flula Borg Returns Again

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How was school today?
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Ah, you know, football training, lunch with the lads.
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Oh, and I have that art project to finish.
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We all know that school days are filled with learning,
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social development and fun. But one in five young people
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are missing a month or more of their school year.
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And when they miss school, they miss out. Which can
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impact exam results and well-being later on. Every school day
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is a new day. Visit gov.ie forward slash school attendance.
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An initiative of the Government of Ireland.
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Do I have to tell the truth?
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You can do whatever you like.
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Great. Hello, my name is Phil Collins. And I feel so,
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so studio about being Conan O'Brien's friend.
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Okay.
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Hey, welcome to Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend, joined by
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Sona and Matt, my chums, my amigos. I was in
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New York recently doing some taping for the pod. I
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was solo. I missed you guys. Oh, we missed you too.
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Not that much, but I missed you. I do miss you.
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Take it back. We weren't invited, just to be clear.
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It's expensive. There's not a lot of flights that go
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from L.A.
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To New York.
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We looked into it. Hourly. I think so, once a month,
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I think. But anyway, not a lot of airlines, not
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a lot of service between those two major hubs. My
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point is that at one point, and I don't remember
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what it was, because I don't remember things, but one
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of my happiest, I tend to make people laugh, but
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one of my happiest things ever is when I can
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make Adam Sachs, when I can catch him by surprise
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with something really insane, and I don't remember what it was,
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I did some bit and it may not be repeatable
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on the air. Is this on? It is not repeatable
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on the air. Yeah, yeah, okay. It's not repeatable on
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the air because I say insane things. But I'm thinking,
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now I'm tearing up. And I took, he started laughing
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and what's great about Adam Sachs is that he's not,
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he's someone who's always kind of in control and he's
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very good natured and he's sweet. But twice, that time
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and another time, I've made him laugh where he can't
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stop laughing. And he holds his hand in front of
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his mouth. And I took a series of photos.
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Oh, wow.
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It's him.
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I haven't seen these.
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You haven't seen these? No, but I have a very
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vivid memory of what you're talking about. It's this.
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Oh, yes.
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I know this look.
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And then he can't stop. And his hand always goes
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to his face. And he covers his mouth as if
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he was beaten as a child if he laughed. Oh, yeah.
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I was so out of control that in this moment
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that I was sitting in a chair and I leaned
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over and I slapped the floor really hard.
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And I don't even know why. I just could not
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control myself. You'll have to tell me after the pod
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what it was. And I'm sure it was something that
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cannot be repeated. It's really funny. I'm a terrible person,
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but I think you're such a good guy that sometimes
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if I come in with something It's completely insane and
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not tracking. I can get Adam. And that makes me
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super happy because when it does happen, it's rare. It's
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like spotting this, you know, there's this creature in the
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woods that's only been photographed once. If I can get him,
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it's really satisfying.
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I feel like there are certain people on staff you
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hone in on because they don't give it up to
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you that easily.
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One of your two children.
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Yes, one of my two children. Also, Samantha Curry, who
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works on our digital team, won't give it.
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Up to you too easily. Love Samantha. And Samantha will
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just stare at me and nod. Shake her head no slowly. Yeah.
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And I'll say, come on. She'll be like, no. And
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I see you.
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Working harder to just try to get something out of her.
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Yeah. And it's funny because it's this fine line between
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disappointment and joy. I love the, I'm like a fish
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on a hook. Like I've got to try and get Samantha.
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I'm not getting Samantha. If I really got her, it
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would terrify me.
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You're like a comedy masochist.
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Yeah, I am.
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I am.
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I'm drawn to the one who is, no. And she's
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really good. She's a very good straight. She's just like,
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And also, I'm sure she means it, but she's just like, nope, nope, uh-uh.
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I think I laugh a lot. I just, maybe I
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don't lose it. No, no, you laugh a lot, but
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you don't lose it. And to get you to lose
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it to the point where you're banging on the floor
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with your fist, and then it becomes, I mean, I
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think that was the day I interviewed Martin Short, and
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we had such a spectacular, and I love him, but
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I went away going, I walked away from that building
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across the street from Rockefeller Center that day thinking, I
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got him. I really got Adam today. Not thinking about
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Marty Short. A comedy icon who graced me with his presence.
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I'm like, yeah, yeah, I really got Adam. I got him. Hey, hey,
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you guys, I got Adam today.
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Who's Adam?
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And who are you? Stopping vendors on the street. I
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got Adam. I got Adam. Would you like some of
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this chicken? No, I don't want your chicken.
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All right.
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Well, we got to get into it. We got a
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lot to do. My guest today is a hilarious actor.
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He's a comedian, a magician, mind melder. He's lovely. He's
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a force. He's a force in the industry. And he's
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a good friend. I'm thrilled he's here. Flula Borg.
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Welcome. Welcome.
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You're Flula Borg. Please. Please. You're an international man of mystery.
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Oh, the bag is out of the cat.
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No, no, it's the cat is out of the bag. Oh.
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That's how you say it here? That's how we say
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it here. Oh, okay. Tell me, you and I have
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done many things together.
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We went to.
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Berlin together. We did. You toured with me. I'm going
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to say this up front. Say it. I love you.
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I love you as well. I delight in all things
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Flula Borg. He's a delightful fellow. We can't get enough Flula.
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You are such a funny fellow. I don't even think
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you're aware you're funny. You're just representing your upbringing, your country.
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Yes, just human beings, homo sapiens, Flula Borg.
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How are you guys? We're doing really well.
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Wonderful.
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It's wonderful to have you here. As always, you were
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dressed and I know we're a podcast, but you can
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go and check out the video. You dress unlike anyone
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I've ever met, always mitt the fanny pack. That's German
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for width.
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Yes.
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Today's is, you never double up on a fanny pack.
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I never see the same fanny pack twice. We've discussed
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this before, but this one looks like it's made of molybdenum,
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the most powerful metal in the world. Yes.
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It's part of the periodic table of elements. Of course.
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This also, if you have something in your tooth, you
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have a tooth in your mouth, a tooth in your thing,
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you can check it in my fanny pack.
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It That's very nice. It's like a mirror. Yes, on
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the wall.
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Who is the one with food in his mouth? Very nice.
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And so that's very useful. And of course, you always
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keep important items in your fanny pack.
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Absolutely, yes.
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What do you call it in, is it Austria? Where
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are you from?
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Well, I am, my originations.
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Yes.
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I'm German, yes.
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Yes.
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I know Austria is different. I think of it as
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all the same. Oh, yeah.
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It all looks the same to you.
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Well, it does.
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I'm sorry. You go to one and they go, do
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you want a strudel cake? And then you go to
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the other one, they're like, we'll have a strudel cake.
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Okay, that first one was Austria. The second one was Munich. Okay, well,
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I'm sorry.
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Okay.
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I'm sorry, but when I'm in Austria, I think I'm
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in Germany. And when I'm in Germany, I think I'm
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in Austria. And if that's offensive to people out there,
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I apologize. I'm American. We're an ignorant people.
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Yeah.
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And if you... Wish to disagree with me? You can
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swim across the Gulf of America. Find me and we'll
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straighten this shit out. Oh, wow.
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Shots fired at who?
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No one knows.
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No one knows. No one knows. It was a gun
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with blanks. Oh, okay. You are from Germany.
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That's correct.
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And what do you call the fanny pack in Germany?
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I call it a fanny pack.
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Oh, okay. I wish it had a fun name like
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a Gleibenhaube.
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Oh, the Gleibenhaube is actually how you repair flat tires.
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Ah.
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Yes. Very nice.
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But if you'd like to, you may call it a Bauchtasche. Bauchtasche.
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Which means a stomach pocket, which sounds like, yes, what's.
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A kangaroo have? Yes, yes. Say it again for me. Bauchtasche.
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Now say it backwards. Ich haus gut. Hey, nice! There's
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nothing he can't do.
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Well, you got very German when you said, oh, nice!
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Nice!
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Yeah.
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With the backwards.
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That was a very Stuttgart accent. Just saying.
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I'm just saying. I stole mine from Dana Carvey, who
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probably stole his from a comedian in Stuttgart. You're also wearing...
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You what? I want to talk about... I don't know
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what to call it.
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Would you call it a sweatsuit?
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What would you guys call it?
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A tracksuit?
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It's like a barbed wire hatched tracksuit. Yeah, it's very
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strange looking. I mean, wonderful looking.
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This looks like if I swallowed an Ikeichi.
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It's great.
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But it's of Usain Bolt. Very, very systematic and low levels.
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Yes, yes. Very systematic, low level. And it appears that
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you're in good health. You work out a lot, Flula.
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Is this true?
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It is true because I shook your hand in the hallway.
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We did do this.
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And you crushed my hand and the carbon in my
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body became a diamond, which I plan to sell.
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You should sell this.
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I'm going to sell my right hand.
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May I buy it?
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Would you say?
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May I buy your right hand? Not for inappropriate reasons, Kelman.
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I might need it back, if you know what I mean.
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I do as well. Yes, because of masturbation. Masturbation, yes, yes.
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How do you call that in your country?
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Masturbation?
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Yeah.
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Schnatzel.
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Schnatzel? You say I need a little time with the schnatzel?
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It's time for schnatzel side.
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Yeah, I'm going to lock the door and have some schnatzel.
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Why lock the door, Cameron?
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Well, in case someone walks in and goes, That's the
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only thing that works for me.
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Okay.
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What? Some guys like to be walked in on.
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Okay, thanks.
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Yeah, I'm just telling.
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No, I know, I know.
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Okay. What do you mean, I know, I know, I know?
250
00:10:27.919 --> 00:10:29.620
Why are you telling her? Well, I don't know.
251
00:10:29.710 --> 00:10:31.610
Yeah, maybe Matt wants to know that, too.
252
00:10:31.690 --> 00:10:34.029
Matt, do you like being walked in on? Are you kidding? Well,
253
00:10:34.049 --> 00:10:36.029
I don't know. With Kesha, you were pretty quick to
254
00:10:36.070 --> 00:10:38.769
walk in on her when she was in the bathroom
255
00:10:38.789 --> 00:10:41.750
on a recent podcast. She never walks in. We've had...
256
00:10:42.669 --> 00:10:44.929
You know, all these other people on Never Walks In. Kesha's,
257
00:10:45.049 --> 00:10:46.610
he had an axe he took to the door.
258
00:10:46.649 --> 00:10:47.029
That's true.
259
00:10:47.090 --> 00:10:50.129
Are you a walker or a walkie? Exactly. Do you
260
00:10:50.149 --> 00:10:51.600
like to be walked in on when you're doing it?
261
00:10:51.610 --> 00:10:54.590
What is it called? Steiby, steiby? Schnatzel. Okay, schnatzel. Steiby, steiby.
262
00:10:54.809 --> 00:10:56.269
To be clear, that is what I call it.
263
00:10:56.710 --> 00:10:58.929
I call steiby, steiby, I thought was when you do
264
00:10:58.980 --> 00:10:59.360
the nipples.
265
00:10:59.389 --> 00:11:03.049
When you rotate counterclockwise and clockwise around your own areolas.
266
00:11:03.220 --> 00:11:05.500
Yes, depending, unless you're an Australian, you go the other way.
267
00:11:05.519 --> 00:11:08.000
Then it's the other way around. Southern Hemisphere reversed.
268
00:11:08.059 --> 00:11:09.740
If you do it enough, you get Radio Free Europe.
269
00:11:09.940 --> 00:11:10.399
And blisters.
270
00:11:10.460 --> 00:11:14.000
Woo, woo. Listen, you and I have a certain something
271
00:11:14.039 --> 00:11:15.740
which should never be released into the public.
272
00:11:15.799 --> 00:11:16.120
Agreed.
273
00:11:16.259 --> 00:11:17.179
Are we recording this?
274
00:11:17.500 --> 00:11:19.379
No, I hope not. It will be destroyed. Matt is
275
00:11:19.399 --> 00:11:21.269
giving me the signal that none of this is being recorded.
276
00:11:21.289 --> 00:11:25.450
Not a bit. And Eduardo is erasing as we go. Right.
277
00:11:25.470 --> 00:11:26.789
He just keeps pushing delete.
278
00:11:26.809 --> 00:11:29.230
Delete, delete. Thank you, Eduardo. Thank you, Matthew.
279
00:11:29.309 --> 00:11:32.639
Yes. Matthias. Matthias. Matthias. Matthias.
280
00:11:32.700 --> 00:11:34.779
Yeah, yeah. The TH is just a T for us.
281
00:11:35.470 --> 00:11:37.610
Do you have a Germanic descent at all?
282
00:11:37.629 --> 00:11:39.350
No, but I took two years of German in high
283
00:11:39.389 --> 00:11:42.590
school and watched a lot of World War II movies.
284
00:11:42.669 --> 00:11:45.629
And I took a German out for two years. I'm
285
00:11:45.669 --> 00:11:48.129
trying to be clever. Is that a clever thing? No.
286
00:11:48.210 --> 00:11:49.909
I don't think so. I'm looking to the judges and no,
287
00:11:49.970 --> 00:11:50.269
it wasn't.
288
00:11:50.409 --> 00:11:52.929
Well, thank you again for taking me out for 772 days.
289
00:11:54.600 --> 00:11:56.919
You and I, we've traveled around. We have a good
290
00:11:56.980 --> 00:12:02.159
time together. You're a wonderful, funny performer. And I think...
291
00:12:03.070 --> 00:12:05.370
I think you bring a fresh perspective because we are
292
00:12:05.389 --> 00:12:07.909
in a time in this world where people are suspicious
293
00:12:08.070 --> 00:12:10.110
of people from other countries. Really?
294
00:12:10.129 --> 00:12:11.990
I thought everything's going great.
295
00:12:12.809 --> 00:12:15.830
Okay. Well, I have you on because I want to say, look,
296
00:12:16.549 --> 00:12:19.549
these people from other countries, they can be quite wonderful
297
00:12:19.590 --> 00:12:23.230
and delightful. Oh. And that is why, you know, I
298
00:12:23.269 --> 00:12:24.710
love to travel the world, but I also like to
299
00:12:24.750 --> 00:12:26.090
have world travelers come to me.
300
00:12:26.110 --> 00:12:26.450
Come to you.
301
00:12:26.490 --> 00:12:27.330
It's much cheaper.
302
00:12:27.409 --> 00:12:29.529
You do not have to worry about time zones.
303
00:12:29.470 --> 00:12:30.330
And also the food.
304
00:12:31.169 --> 00:12:33.129
I mean, I can't, the Wienerschnitzel, it's too much.
305
00:12:33.190 --> 00:12:34.230
You don't like it. You need your chip.
306
00:12:34.250 --> 00:12:36.649
No, no, I like Wienerschnitzel, but it's when they, every
307
00:12:36.730 --> 00:12:40.340
meal they say, would you like our special Wienerschnitzel? And
308
00:12:40.379 --> 00:12:42.340
they act like, yeah, we just had that nine days
309
00:12:42.399 --> 00:12:42.919
in a row.
310
00:12:43.299 --> 00:12:45.779
Well, listen, you must go 10 days every time. That's
311
00:12:45.799 --> 00:12:48.899
the rule. Double digit Wienerschnitzel, then move to the pommes.
312
00:12:52.370 --> 00:12:54.350
You're a delightful fellow.
313
00:12:54.629 --> 00:12:55.470
As are you, Conan.
314
00:12:55.669 --> 00:12:57.730
And I did seriously want to ask you about your
315
00:12:57.769 --> 00:13:00.490
workout regimen. In the past, you told me that you
316
00:13:00.529 --> 00:13:04.080
worked with this guy who just, I think, beat you
317
00:13:04.740 --> 00:13:08.659
with a leather cord or something. It sounded very masochistic,
318
00:13:08.679 --> 00:13:09.179
your workout.
319
00:13:09.259 --> 00:13:11.840
Yes, this is Paolo Maschitti. He's a shame-based trainer. He's
320
00:13:11.879 --> 00:13:15.480
from Italy. Yes, we share an Axis history, but neither
321
00:13:15.519 --> 00:13:16.419
one of us was involved.
322
00:13:16.450 --> 00:13:16.509
No.
323
00:13:20.289 --> 00:13:24.299
So, okay. Was that your posting, looking for a trainer
324
00:13:24.340 --> 00:13:24.820
from the axis?
325
00:13:24.840 --> 00:13:27.240
Yes, it must be either Italian or Japanese.
326
00:13:27.419 --> 00:13:30.399
Sorry. And not having been involved.
327
00:13:30.559 --> 00:13:31.139
That's correct.
328
00:13:31.360 --> 00:13:33.840
Well, if they were involved, they'd be like 110 years
329
00:13:33.919 --> 00:13:34.279
old now.
330
00:13:34.700 --> 00:13:38.340
Yeah, and very wonderful with the cardiovascular. Teach me your tips.
331
00:13:38.799 --> 00:13:40.950
Do one push-up, and then they fall over.
332
00:13:40.970 --> 00:13:41.159
Done.
333
00:13:43.250 --> 00:13:46.690
But your workout sounded intense with this gentleman.
334
00:13:46.809 --> 00:13:48.450
Well, it's very verbally abusive.
335
00:13:49.149 --> 00:13:51.889
And you like that because you're very self-hating.
336
00:13:52.009 --> 00:13:54.139
Yes, I need all of the negativity. I turn this
337
00:13:54.159 --> 00:13:56.179
into positivity. It's like when you put a battery inside
338
00:13:56.220 --> 00:13:56.820
of a flashlight.
339
00:13:57.740 --> 00:13:58.799
It turns it on.
340
00:13:58.820 --> 00:13:59.080
Yes.
341
00:13:59.340 --> 00:13:59.639
Yes.
342
00:13:59.860 --> 00:14:00.100
Yes.
343
00:14:00.220 --> 00:14:01.779
If the battery's outside, what does it do?
344
00:14:02.299 --> 00:14:03.240
It does nothing.
345
00:14:03.299 --> 00:14:05.710
It waits to be inserted into your mag.
346
00:14:05.899 --> 00:14:06.629
Okay, okay.
347
00:14:06.649 --> 00:14:06.710
Um.
348
00:14:08.940 --> 00:14:09.500
Do you know what I mean?
349
00:14:09.779 --> 00:14:12.690
No, I don't. I don't know what you mean. No.
350
00:14:12.769 --> 00:14:15.370
In this metaphor, Paolo is the battery and I am
351
00:14:15.470 --> 00:14:17.490
a large metal stiff flashlight.
352
00:14:20.080 --> 00:14:23.539
He energizes you. He fills you with light.
353
00:14:23.679 --> 00:14:24.460
Like that rabbit, yes.
354
00:14:24.500 --> 00:14:24.659
Yes.
355
00:14:24.679 --> 00:14:25.340
Okay.
356
00:14:25.620 --> 00:14:31.500
Good God. I don't know what to do. But you,
357
00:14:31.600 --> 00:14:34.899
as a result, I've seen you without your shirt on.
358
00:14:34.919 --> 00:14:36.399
We won't talk about that. Let's not talk about it.
359
00:14:36.399 --> 00:14:38.419
We actually have footage of it from our travel show
360
00:14:38.460 --> 00:14:39.080
to Germany.
361
00:14:39.360 --> 00:14:39.659
Oh, yes.
362
00:14:39.840 --> 00:14:41.519
And the ladies, their eyes fell out of their heads
363
00:14:41.570 --> 00:14:44.309
and some of the fellas. You look like you've been
364
00:14:44.549 --> 00:14:46.470
chiseled by Michelangelo.
365
00:14:46.629 --> 00:14:48.110
Oh, wow. Which turtle is that?
366
00:14:48.809 --> 00:14:51.149
No, no, no. Not the turtle. The great sculptor.
367
00:14:51.169 --> 00:14:52.009
Oh, with a stick.
368
00:14:52.250 --> 00:14:52.509
Yes.
369
00:14:52.809 --> 00:14:53.110
Yes.
370
00:14:53.149 --> 00:14:53.610
No, no.
371
00:14:53.889 --> 00:14:55.070
Oh, he had small knives.
372
00:14:55.330 --> 00:14:58.570
No, no, no, no. Michelangelo was with the pizza.
373
00:14:58.809 --> 00:15:00.269
Okay.
374
00:15:00.600 --> 00:15:03.179
Just let it drop. Okay. What I was trying to
375
00:15:03.240 --> 00:15:06.259
say is that very impressive. And this is an obsession
376
00:15:06.279 --> 00:15:09.179
of yours. Do you think that's very Germanic? To want
377
00:15:09.200 --> 00:15:10.320
to have a powerful body.
378
00:15:10.440 --> 00:15:11.519
A Teutonic trait.
379
00:15:11.720 --> 00:15:11.980
Yes.
380
00:15:12.360 --> 00:15:14.759
I need structure in my life, Conan. Life is chaos.
381
00:15:14.799 --> 00:15:15.320
What's happening?
382
00:15:15.360 --> 00:15:18.059
Nobody knows. You eat, you pee, you poo, you sleep.
383
00:15:18.179 --> 00:15:21.070
Sometimes I need an added activity. That activity is lifting
384
00:15:21.110 --> 00:15:23.129
things up and down. In rapid succession.
385
00:15:23.269 --> 00:15:23.929
Well, sometimes.
386
00:15:23.970 --> 00:15:26.470
Sometimes slow succession is also well. Other thing that's good
387
00:15:26.570 --> 00:15:27.870
is succession. The TV show.
388
00:15:28.090 --> 00:15:31.169
Okay. All right. Let's not... You're always here to plug
389
00:15:31.210 --> 00:15:33.960
a show that you weren't on that no longer exists.
390
00:15:34.000 --> 00:15:36.440
Last time you talked incessantly about I Dream of Jeannie.
391
00:15:36.899 --> 00:15:38.419
No one's watched that show for 50 years.
392
00:15:38.480 --> 00:15:38.700
Really?
393
00:15:40.080 --> 00:15:43.139
Okay, pretending to blink on a podcast is a waste
394
00:15:43.179 --> 00:15:46.080
of everyone's time. So no one could hear that. No
395
00:15:46.139 --> 00:15:46.679
one could hear it.
396
00:15:47.639 --> 00:15:49.120
Have you seen Little House on the Prairie?
397
00:15:49.419 --> 00:15:52.440
Okay, again, you're plugging something that no one watches anymore.
398
00:15:52.620 --> 00:15:52.820
Okay.
399
00:15:52.960 --> 00:15:55.700
You know, you do a wonderful service, Flula, if I
400
00:15:55.720 --> 00:15:56.320
may call you Flula.
401
00:15:56.419 --> 00:15:57.850
Flula, please do it. It's my name.
402
00:15:58.519 --> 00:16:00.710
Flula, you make what you call a Flalander.
403
00:16:00.929 --> 00:16:01.309
Yes, I do.
404
00:16:01.330 --> 00:16:03.590
It's a calendar, but it's a Flula calendar. And then
405
00:16:03.610 --> 00:16:05.129
you send it to all of us, and they're always
406
00:16:05.169 --> 00:16:06.509
delightfully fun.
407
00:16:06.970 --> 00:16:07.299
Oh, thank you.
408
00:16:07.309 --> 00:16:11.610
Because each month is you having a bit of a prank. Yeah.
409
00:16:11.649 --> 00:16:15.330
Some fun with the visual. And for 2025, your flounder
410
00:16:15.470 --> 00:16:19.960
was photos of you spoofing various movie covers and changing
411
00:16:19.980 --> 00:16:22.580
the title. Home Alone, you changed to.
412
00:16:22.600 --> 00:16:24.120
Go ahead.
413
00:16:24.639 --> 00:16:26.159
Unsupervised Juvenile.
414
00:16:26.299 --> 00:16:27.039
That's correct, yes.
415
00:16:27.600 --> 00:16:29.519
Speed changed to Rapid.
416
00:16:29.600 --> 00:16:30.139
Rapid, yes.
417
00:16:30.799 --> 00:16:33.299
Austin Powers changed to Munich Strengths.
418
00:16:33.320 --> 00:16:34.240
Munich Strengths, yes.
419
00:16:34.299 --> 00:16:35.600
And Scarface to Blemish.
420
00:16:35.799 --> 00:16:36.299
Yes, of course.
421
00:16:36.559 --> 00:16:39.240
And you make these calendars and they're very funny and
422
00:16:39.259 --> 00:16:40.679
the visuals are very funny and you send them to
423
00:16:40.700 --> 00:16:42.809
all your friends and they help get me through the
424
00:16:42.850 --> 00:16:44.870
year because I can be a depressive and sometimes I'm
425
00:16:44.889 --> 00:16:45.769
feeling a little down.
426
00:16:45.789 --> 00:16:46.309
Oh no.
427
00:16:46.330 --> 00:16:48.009
And then I go and I look at your calendar.
428
00:16:48.809 --> 00:16:51.190
And I'm still down. Yeah, I was going to say,
429
00:16:51.309 --> 00:16:53.379
does not change your mood. No, not at all.
430
00:16:53.460 --> 00:16:54.740
It tells you what day it is.
431
00:16:54.820 --> 00:16:56.519
Yes, I know what day I'm depressed.
432
00:16:56.559 --> 00:17:01.039
Which day is depression? This one. Thanks, May 2nd. My favorite,
433
00:17:01.059 --> 00:17:06.240
I will tell you, is Beetlejuice was termite gravy. So stupid.
434
00:17:07.539 --> 00:17:07.700
You.
435
00:17:09.109 --> 00:17:13.849
You've had some success recently in film. You have. Geologically speaking, yes.
436
00:17:14.029 --> 00:17:14.349
What's that?
437
00:17:14.509 --> 00:17:16.109
Geologically, it's been recent, yes.
438
00:17:16.269 --> 00:17:18.950
No, please. I want to say, and last summer, you
439
00:17:18.970 --> 00:17:21.049
were in the Amazon movie, My Spy, The Eternal City.
440
00:17:21.089 --> 00:17:24.430
Your co-star was David Bautista. You played a serious villain.
441
00:17:24.609 --> 00:17:24.890
Yes.
442
00:17:24.970 --> 00:17:25.950
You love a villain.
443
00:17:26.150 --> 00:17:27.190
Oh, I like to be a bad boy.
444
00:17:27.390 --> 00:17:27.730
Yeah.
445
00:17:27.910 --> 00:17:28.650
Yes.
446
00:17:28.730 --> 00:17:31.480
And it must be fun because I know that, that
447
00:17:31.500 --> 00:17:34.019
was me taking off my sunglasses. Oh. I know that
448
00:17:34.140 --> 00:17:39.579
you like, you're very locked in And so when you
449
00:17:39.599 --> 00:17:41.279
get to be naughty on the screen.
450
00:17:41.319 --> 00:17:41.390
Yes.
451
00:17:41.400 --> 00:17:42.640
Do you know what I mean? That must be a
452
00:17:42.640 --> 00:17:43.160
release for you.
453
00:17:43.319 --> 00:17:45.180
Well, when you are in line at the Chipotle waiting
454
00:17:45.220 --> 00:17:47.859
to order your bowl of burrito, you must be nice
455
00:17:47.900 --> 00:17:48.799
and friendly and courteous.
456
00:17:48.940 --> 00:17:49.599
Yes, yes.
457
00:17:49.660 --> 00:17:51.859
But when you are told, be rude to David Bautista,
458
00:17:51.920 --> 00:17:53.920
try to give him a woogee, then you do not
459
00:17:53.960 --> 00:17:55.059
have to be nice. And that's fine.
460
00:17:55.079 --> 00:17:57.480
Sorry, woogee is... Oh, you're trying to say wedgie.
461
00:17:57.900 --> 00:18:00.500
I don't know. It's when you grab the underwears or
462
00:18:00.579 --> 00:18:03.200
perhaps the bikini bottoms of a man or woman and go.
463
00:18:03.890 --> 00:18:06.349
Yes. And then, of course, the fabric goes up into
464
00:18:06.390 --> 00:18:08.849
the- Ideally, up into the anus. Into the fissure. Well,
465
00:18:08.869 --> 00:18:09.390
don't say anus.
466
00:18:09.470 --> 00:18:10.970
It's not cool. What did you call it? The fishery?
467
00:18:10.990 --> 00:18:12.049
The fissure. The crack.
468
00:18:12.329 --> 00:18:12.950
Yeah. The fissure.
469
00:18:13.009 --> 00:18:14.619
There's no reason to get to the anus. You can
470
00:18:14.630 --> 00:18:15.759
just say into the fissure.
471
00:18:15.880 --> 00:18:16.559
Into the fissure?
472
00:18:16.680 --> 00:18:16.859
Yeah.
473
00:18:16.920 --> 00:18:18.819
Like Fisher-Price. Like the toys. KB Toys.
474
00:18:18.880 --> 00:18:19.099
No.
475
00:18:19.359 --> 00:18:21.359
F-I-S-S-U-R-E. Fissure.
476
00:18:21.400 --> 00:18:22.480
Well, if you say so.
477
00:18:22.619 --> 00:18:22.880
Okay.
478
00:18:22.920 --> 00:18:24.920
I do say so. Oh, okay. You're an American now, buddy.
479
00:18:25.079 --> 00:18:25.559
Thank you very much.
480
00:18:25.579 --> 00:18:27.980
You follow our rules, and we know our wedgies better
481
00:18:28.000 --> 00:18:29.400
than anybody. That's true. Is this true?
482
00:18:29.690 --> 00:18:29.869
Yeah.
483
00:18:29.950 --> 00:18:32.849
We invented them. The wedgie was invented in America in 1915. Oh,
484
00:18:33.150 --> 00:18:34.289
Degrassi Junior High.
485
00:18:34.309 --> 00:18:36.150
That's Canadian.
486
00:18:36.490 --> 00:18:36.869
Oh, it is?
487
00:18:36.930 --> 00:18:37.170
Yeah.
488
00:18:37.289 --> 00:18:39.950
Oh, sorry, Canada. You're so screwed up. Are you speaking
489
00:18:39.990 --> 00:18:41.579
to them again? We don't know what's happening.
490
00:18:41.960 --> 00:18:42.880
We're working it all out.
491
00:18:42.900 --> 00:18:43.380
Okay. Yes.
492
00:18:43.519 --> 00:18:44.619
Our leader is taking care of it.
493
00:18:44.640 --> 00:18:44.920
Oh, great.
494
00:18:44.980 --> 00:18:48.200
And we trust him. You, um, you.
495
00:18:48.799 --> 00:18:49.019
Yes.
496
00:18:49.880 --> 00:18:50.769
Just say it, Conan.
497
00:18:51.470 --> 00:18:55.390
I don't think you have a purpose on this podcast.
498
00:18:55.490 --> 00:18:58.029
I think you are without rudder. I think you are drifting.
499
00:18:58.150 --> 00:19:00.619
And you say, what's your next question? Question? This is a,
500
00:19:01.069 --> 00:19:05.880
you are a tornado of foolishness, of absurdity. What do
501
00:19:05.900 --> 00:19:07.460
you mean? What's the next question?
502
00:19:07.500 --> 00:19:09.720
You could have stopped it at, you don't have a purpose.
503
00:19:09.839 --> 00:19:13.819
And I would have agreed with you heavily. Oh, what
504
00:19:14.000 --> 00:19:15.960
kind of juice? Oh, it looks like blood.
505
00:19:16.460 --> 00:19:18.119
This, I'm drinking right now.
506
00:19:18.480 --> 00:19:18.920
Erewhon.
507
00:19:19.619 --> 00:19:23.380
Um, yeah, I know from the color we were sent, uh, a, uh,
508
00:19:24.240 --> 00:19:25.460
I did an event recently.
509
00:19:25.480 --> 00:19:28.140
Um, the Oscars, you might've heard of it.
510
00:19:28.480 --> 00:19:30.740
No, I'm not bragging about that. I was this, uh,
511
00:19:30.759 --> 00:19:32.819
I did an event for the show, uh, severance, which
512
00:19:32.900 --> 00:19:35.480
is my favorite TV show right now. I love severance.
513
00:19:35.539 --> 00:19:38.119
And they asked me to host a panel and then, uh,
514
00:19:38.900 --> 00:19:41.099
That show is on Apple. And Apple sent a little
515
00:19:41.180 --> 00:19:44.970
basket of apples and some juices. Oh, how literal. And
516
00:19:44.990 --> 00:19:49.069
I went. Of course, I was ripping through the bag
517
00:19:49.109 --> 00:19:52.519
looking for a computer. or a watch or something. Apples
518
00:19:52.619 --> 00:19:55.019
and juices, but they're very good. Trust me, I do
519
00:19:55.059 --> 00:19:57.079
not need any free items.
520
00:19:57.970 --> 00:19:58.930
You have enough free items?
521
00:19:59.029 --> 00:20:01.230
No, I don't. What about us?
522
00:20:01.279 --> 00:20:03.440
They can give them to you and then you can
523
00:20:03.519 --> 00:20:03.880
give them.
524
00:20:03.799 --> 00:20:04.119
To other people.
525
00:20:04.160 --> 00:20:06.759
Eduardo has made it clear that he doesn't want anything
526
00:20:06.900 --> 00:20:08.349
for free and he doesn't want any of you to
527
00:20:08.369 --> 00:20:10.170
get anything for free. And I admire that about you, Eduardo.
528
00:20:10.190 --> 00:20:10.950
That's not true.
529
00:20:11.089 --> 00:20:13.130
You don't want an order of AirPods Pro?
530
00:20:13.509 --> 00:20:14.730
No, he said no, nothing.
531
00:20:14.750 --> 00:20:15.250
We all do.
532
00:20:16.349 --> 00:20:20.529
I was gifted recently a vintage 1958 Porsche, completely restored,
533
00:20:20.890 --> 00:20:23.799
and Eduardo made me give it back. He said, it's
534
00:20:23.839 --> 00:20:25.299
not a good look for the company. And I said, well,
535
00:20:25.339 --> 00:20:26.839
do you want it? And he said, not only do
536
00:20:26.960 --> 00:20:28.220
I not want it, no one should have it.
537
00:20:28.220 --> 00:20:31.779
Well, who gave it to you? The United Arab Emirates? Yes.
538
00:20:31.940 --> 00:20:34.220
The Emirates. Oh, okay. Yeah, I've done some favors for
539
00:20:34.240 --> 00:20:34.640
the Emirates.
540
00:20:34.779 --> 00:20:35.460
I have seen it.
541
00:20:35.559 --> 00:20:36.559
Yeah, I've done.
542
00:20:36.579 --> 00:20:37.619
Why are you still on MySpace?
543
00:20:39.900 --> 00:20:41.619
It worked out for me. I agree.
544
00:20:41.759 --> 00:20:44.500
Yes, yes. Put me in your top six just so
545
00:20:44.519 --> 00:20:45.599
you know for future reference.
546
00:20:45.779 --> 00:20:47.880
Let's get back to you because you're the one that
547
00:20:47.980 --> 00:20:51.950
people care about. Tell me about the child Flula. How
548
00:20:51.970 --> 00:20:58.349
did you become this improbable, ridiculous man? What were your interests?
549
00:20:58.690 --> 00:21:00.559
What did you love to do? Did you run through
550
00:21:00.579 --> 00:21:04.470
the fields? Did you have friends? Yes. Tell me about yourself.
551
00:21:04.529 --> 00:21:07.329
Yes and no. So I did enjoy the fields of running.
552
00:21:07.369 --> 00:21:09.849
I had very little friends and very little siblings. By that,
553
00:21:09.910 --> 00:21:11.549
I mean zero. I didn't kill or eat them. They
554
00:21:11.589 --> 00:21:13.450
simply didn't come out of my mother's hole.
555
00:21:16.130 --> 00:21:16.430
Fisher.
556
00:21:17.099 --> 00:21:17.819
Sorry.
557
00:21:17.950 --> 00:21:18.279
Fisher.
558
00:21:18.730 --> 00:21:19.559
Fisher. Thank you.
559
00:21:19.660 --> 00:21:20.559
Thank you, Matthias.
560
00:21:20.740 --> 00:21:21.160
Out of her Fisher.
561
00:21:21.180 --> 00:21:21.960
Thank you, Matthias.
562
00:21:22.279 --> 00:21:25.859
So there was only actually zero things came from her Fisher.
563
00:21:25.980 --> 00:21:28.380
Well, no, you came. Well, I was a Caesar salad.
564
00:21:28.400 --> 00:21:29.799
So I came out. You came out.
565
00:21:30.539 --> 00:21:31.640
I came out as a salad.
566
00:21:33.630 --> 00:21:35.930
So you were the entree. No, you were the appetizer.
567
00:21:35.990 --> 00:21:38.200
I was all three of those. I was like in
568
00:21:38.240 --> 00:21:39.599
and out. There's what you get to get a burger.
569
00:21:39.619 --> 00:21:40.279
Bye bye. You know.
570
00:21:40.480 --> 00:21:40.700
Okay.
571
00:21:41.700 --> 00:21:45.559
So this was your crazy, horrific way of saying no siblings.
572
00:21:45.980 --> 00:21:46.759
You were an only child.
573
00:21:47.109 --> 00:21:47.289
Yes.
574
00:21:47.589 --> 00:21:49.910
So you were born and they said there'll be no
575
00:21:49.950 --> 00:21:50.390
more of this.
576
00:21:50.529 --> 00:21:53.009
Well, something in German and I couldn't intelligible it because
577
00:21:53.049 --> 00:21:53.930
I was very young.
578
00:21:54.029 --> 00:21:57.869
You're very young. Yeah. Um, When you're a baby in Germany,
579
00:21:57.890 --> 00:22:00.990
do you cry angrily? Do you go, wah, wah? Yes, yes. Oh,
580
00:22:00.990 --> 00:22:01.309
my God.
581
00:22:01.369 --> 00:22:01.549
Yes.
582
00:22:01.710 --> 00:22:02.450
Well, I'm just curious.
583
00:22:02.509 --> 00:22:03.309
Wah, wah.
584
00:22:03.369 --> 00:22:04.250
Yeah, it starts that way.
585
00:22:04.329 --> 00:22:04.859
Wah.
586
00:22:05.019 --> 00:22:07.240
Yeah, we have to adjust. It's like a modulation. Sometimes
587
00:22:07.299 --> 00:22:08.700
it's screaming. You have to get to whispers.
588
00:22:09.099 --> 00:22:10.079
Gaga, goo, goo.
589
00:22:10.259 --> 00:22:12.380
Yeah, yeah. And it is in the other direction. You're correct.
590
00:22:12.400 --> 00:22:14.019
You guys, I believe, goo, goo, gaga.
591
00:22:14.160 --> 00:22:14.359
Yes.
592
00:22:14.480 --> 00:22:19.240
We gaga, goo, goo. Very good. And people say cultures
593
00:22:19.289 --> 00:22:21.549
can't come together and understand each other, but they can.
594
00:22:21.609 --> 00:22:22.390
They can, sexually.
595
00:22:22.410 --> 00:22:22.579
They can.
596
00:22:25.400 --> 00:22:27.619
Just cut that, Eduardo. No, no, no. We're not. Eduardo
597
00:22:27.880 --> 00:22:28.779
stopped listening a long time ago.
598
00:22:28.789 --> 00:22:30.369
Oh, he's left the room.
599
00:22:30.490 --> 00:22:32.670
What did you do for fun? What did young Flulo
600
00:22:32.690 --> 00:22:34.490
do for fun? We understand that you ran through the
601
00:22:34.509 --> 00:22:37.099
fields and that you were alone. We know why. But
602
00:22:37.319 --> 00:22:41.079
what were you doing for fun? Did you like music?
603
00:22:41.140 --> 00:22:44.809
What did you watch on television? What influenced you? Young Flula.
604
00:22:44.910 --> 00:22:47.450
Well, to say this implies there has been an evolution.
605
00:22:47.970 --> 00:22:50.089
Things have not changed since I was Young Flula. I
606
00:22:50.130 --> 00:22:52.910
listened to C & C Music Factory. Things that make
607
00:22:52.930 --> 00:22:55.390
you go, hmm? Do you know that song?
608
00:22:55.930 --> 00:22:56.390
Sure.
609
00:22:56.410 --> 00:22:58.329
I was at the club sitting by the fireplace drinking
610
00:22:58.369 --> 00:22:59.769
cocoa on the bearskin rug.
611
00:23:01.930 --> 00:23:03.220
That's C & C Music Factory?
612
00:23:03.240 --> 00:23:06.220
This would be, yes, Colin Civilis, C & C. Okay.
613
00:23:06.539 --> 00:23:06.740
Okay.
614
00:23:07.049 --> 00:23:09.029
It's going to make you sweat till you bleed. Yeah,
615
00:23:09.069 --> 00:23:11.109
is it dope enough? Indeed. I paid the price to
616
00:23:11.130 --> 00:23:13.630
control the dice. I'm more precise to the point I'm nice.
617
00:23:13.730 --> 00:23:13.950
Yes.
618
00:23:14.250 --> 00:23:14.750
Incredible.
619
00:23:14.869 --> 00:23:18.990
I mean, this is fantastic. And you, Matthias, I lived
620
00:23:19.079 --> 00:23:20.900
a life. I'm a grown man. I've lived a life.
621
00:23:20.940 --> 00:23:22.460
You have lived a life, a deep life. Did you
622
00:23:22.480 --> 00:23:23.960
grow up also in Erlangen, Germany?
623
00:23:24.140 --> 00:23:24.339
Yes.
624
00:23:24.519 --> 00:23:24.740
Ja.
625
00:23:26.180 --> 00:23:28.039
Ich heiße auf Stuttgart.
626
00:23:28.059 --> 00:23:29.519
Du kommst aus Stuttgart?
627
00:23:29.539 --> 00:23:29.700
Ja.
628
00:23:29.720 --> 00:23:30.519
Das ist doch schön.
629
00:23:30.940 --> 00:23:33.359
Das ist schönes Wetter heute, nicht wahr?
630
00:23:33.779 --> 00:23:37.740
I feel like I'm an inglorious bastard and I'm just
631
00:23:37.809 --> 00:23:39.549
trying to hope no one notices me.
632
00:23:40.349 --> 00:23:46.170
If you use.
633
00:23:44.430 --> 00:23:46.289
The thumb, that's what got him in trouble.
634
00:23:46.309 --> 00:23:47.730
That's how you do it, yes. And this is also,
635
00:23:47.890 --> 00:23:51.130
I have nailed a tray, Jason Tatum, your favorite player, yes?
636
00:23:51.390 --> 00:23:51.589
Yes.
637
00:23:51.609 --> 00:23:52.150
From Dublin.
638
00:23:52.390 --> 00:23:55.910
From the Celtics, yes. He is an Irishman, a good Irishman, Mr.
639
00:23:55.930 --> 00:23:56.170
Tatum.
640
00:23:56.809 --> 00:23:58.089
Originally Mr.
641
00:23:58.109 --> 00:23:58.349
Tater.
642
00:23:59.549 --> 00:24:01.210
Oh, I gotta go.
643
00:24:12.140 --> 00:24:15.900
Good nights are about the people, the laughs, the real
644
00:24:15.940 --> 00:24:19.119
moments you don't want to miss. So why step outside?
645
00:24:20.019 --> 00:24:24.059
Velo tobacco-free nicotine pouches fits seamlessly into your night. Convenient
646
00:24:24.259 --> 00:24:28.480
and full of flavor. No breaks, no interruptions. Velo anytime,
647
00:24:28.599 --> 00:24:32.480
anywhere nicotine pouches. 18 and over contains tobacco-free nicotine and
648
00:24:32.519 --> 00:24:34.720
addictive substance. If you're new to Velo, start with Mellow.
649
00:24:34.799 --> 00:24:36.319
You should not use this product if you do not
650
00:24:36.420 --> 00:24:37.220
already use nicotine.
651
00:24:40.700 --> 00:24:48.089
Wake up, wait. Kettle on, wait. Toast, wait. Train station, wait.
652
00:24:48.690 --> 00:24:54.109
Pay slip, wait. Promotion, wait. Retire, wait.
653
00:24:54.750 --> 00:24:58.119
We spend our whole lives waiting. And when it comes
654
00:24:58.170 --> 00:25:02.500
to banking, we've waited long enough. Monzo, a new era
655
00:25:02.599 --> 00:25:05.579
of banking. Monzo Bank Europe DAC, trading as Monzo, is
656
00:25:05.619 --> 00:25:08.000
regulated by the Central Bank of Ireland. T's and C's apply.
657
00:25:09.960 --> 00:25:10.779
How was school, Pat?
658
00:25:11.279 --> 00:25:14.140
We were learning all about France and Joan of Arc
659
00:25:14.440 --> 00:25:16.359
and the Eiffel Tower and how they speak.
660
00:25:16.660 --> 00:25:17.640
Bonjour, Mama!
661
00:25:18.420 --> 00:25:21.690
We all know how important school is for children's learning,
662
00:25:21.849 --> 00:25:25.950
friendships and overall development. But one in five children are
663
00:25:25.990 --> 00:25:28.349
missing a month or more of their school year. And
664
00:25:28.410 --> 00:25:31.569
when they miss school, they miss out. Every school day
665
00:25:31.750 --> 00:25:35.420
is a new day. Visit gov.ie forward slash school attendance.
666
00:25:35.880 --> 00:25:37.420
An initiative of the Government of Ireland.
667
00:25:44.500 --> 00:25:46.559
Listen, we're going to talk about you some more. So
668
00:25:46.599 --> 00:25:48.440
you would hang out in the clubs. You love CNC
669
00:25:48.480 --> 00:25:49.039
Music Factory.
670
00:25:49.059 --> 00:25:49.339
Yes, of course.
671
00:25:49.359 --> 00:25:50.829
And you still do to this day. Of course. Would
672
00:25:50.849 --> 00:25:52.049
you like the song, It's Raining Men?
673
00:25:52.069 --> 00:25:55.569
Hallelujah, it's raining men. I mean, it's an acceptable song.
674
00:25:55.650 --> 00:25:57.230
I always listened to that song and thought, men are
675
00:25:57.349 --> 00:25:58.269
falling to their deaths.
676
00:25:58.609 --> 00:25:59.269
Right.
677
00:25:59.289 --> 00:26:02.009
You know what I mean? They all die. They all
678
00:26:02.069 --> 00:26:04.859
die and they land on the happy women who are
679
00:26:04.890 --> 00:26:07.920
excited that men are falling. shattered vertebrae.
680
00:26:08.059 --> 00:26:10.759
It's all a very Thelma Louise song because at the end,
681
00:26:10.839 --> 00:26:13.359
they will be also crushed by the weight of these men,
682
00:26:13.440 --> 00:26:15.869
assuming these men are of normal height, weight, and mass.
683
00:26:15.930 --> 00:26:19.049
Yes, yes. And they've reached a critical speed.
684
00:26:19.069 --> 00:26:21.250
Terminal velocity, literally.
685
00:26:21.390 --> 00:26:25.309
Terminal velocity, yes, literally terminal. You know, it's funny. If
686
00:26:25.329 --> 00:26:28.750
you listen to this, not this, but if you listen slowly,
687
00:26:28.769 --> 00:26:31.670
you'll occasionally hear something intelligent. It's like every now and
688
00:26:31.690 --> 00:26:34.170
then it's this stew that's just got nothing, but every
689
00:26:34.210 --> 00:26:36.109
now and then there's just a little piece of beef.
690
00:26:36.210 --> 00:26:38.890
In the song, it's Raining Men, Hallelujah? No, no, in
691
00:26:38.930 --> 00:26:41.359
this conversation we're having. So I should listen to the
692
00:26:41.380 --> 00:26:42.359
song slowly?
693
00:26:42.380 --> 00:26:43.000
No, no, no.
694
00:26:44.250 --> 00:26:45.549
Using those big Bose headphones.
695
00:26:45.789 --> 00:26:48.529
No one's ever analyzed that song ever.
696
00:26:48.869 --> 00:26:52.170
Well, when it first came out, I said, this is terrible.
697
00:26:52.329 --> 00:26:54.549
And it scared me. It's raining men. And I pictured
698
00:26:54.650 --> 00:26:56.259
men falling from the sky.
699
00:26:56.279 --> 00:26:56.839
Oh, yes.
700
00:26:56.890 --> 00:26:58.920
And falling on top of those women and killing them.
701
00:26:58.960 --> 00:27:02.940
Because let's say the average man weighs, I don't know.
702
00:27:02.940 --> 00:27:04.480
185, 195 pounds. It's a lot of pounds.
703
00:27:04.680 --> 00:27:05.480
It's a lot of pounds.
704
00:27:05.619 --> 00:27:07.859
I once thought about the song, I'm your penis, I'm
705
00:27:07.880 --> 00:27:10.720
your fire, your desire. Oh, no, no, no.
706
00:27:10.799 --> 00:27:12.799
It's your Venus. It's your Venus. Yes.
707
00:27:13.220 --> 00:27:13.519
It's not.
708
00:27:13.680 --> 00:27:14.000
It's not penis.
709
00:27:14.019 --> 00:27:14.700
And German, it's penis.
710
00:27:15.480 --> 00:27:15.619
Oh.
711
00:27:16.400 --> 00:27:17.400
It's your penis here?
712
00:27:17.599 --> 00:27:18.039
Yeah.
713
00:27:18.839 --> 00:27:21.140
Why would a girl be singing I'm your penis?
714
00:27:21.180 --> 00:27:22.450
How do you know it's a girl? I didn't see
715
00:27:22.470 --> 00:27:22.930
the video.
716
00:27:23.450 --> 00:27:23.549
Oh.
717
00:27:23.589 --> 00:27:25.430
Can I tell you something that I was always... Could
718
00:27:25.450 --> 00:27:27.789
be Todd Thompson. This is a real misunderstanding I have.
719
00:27:27.809 --> 00:27:31.230
Oh, God. What's wrong, Conan?
720
00:27:31.549 --> 00:27:32.349
I'll be fine.
721
00:27:32.750 --> 00:27:33.759
Do you need an eccentric?
722
00:27:33.990 --> 00:27:37.119
You know that song, Hey there, amigo, days when the rain,
723
00:27:37.160 --> 00:27:37.440
you know.
724
00:27:38.119 --> 00:27:39.339
Oh, Brown Eyed Girl.
725
00:27:39.380 --> 00:27:40.059
Brown Eyed Girl.
726
00:27:40.079 --> 00:27:40.210
Oh, yes.
727
00:27:40.220 --> 00:27:40.920
By Van Morrison.
728
00:27:40.960 --> 00:27:45.319
By Van Morrison, yes. I honestly thought there's a line
729
00:27:45.380 --> 00:27:50.079
in it. There's a line where he says, going down
730
00:27:50.099 --> 00:27:53.559
in the old mine for a transistor radio, with a
731
00:27:53.579 --> 00:27:55.440
transistor radio, meaning he goes down into one of the
732
00:27:55.480 --> 00:28:00.460
mines and listens to a transistor radio. I swear to God.
733
00:28:01.059 --> 00:28:03.740
For years, I thought he was saying, going down on
734
00:28:03.779 --> 00:28:07.670
an old man for a transistor radio. And I thought,
735
00:28:07.930 --> 00:28:11.130
how bad do you want? That better be a great radio.
736
00:28:11.170 --> 00:28:14.009
Yes, that's a fair exchange, depending on the radio.
737
00:28:14.210 --> 00:28:16.569
Well, I mean, this has to be AM and FM,
738
00:28:16.609 --> 00:28:18.609
at least. At least have both. Yeah, and it has
739
00:28:18.650 --> 00:28:20.269
to have a good speaker system.
740
00:28:21.069 --> 00:28:24.460
Yes, and the man's ding-dong is hopefully small.
741
00:28:24.480 --> 00:28:24.549
Why?
742
00:28:25.160 --> 00:28:25.339
Why?
743
00:28:27.079 --> 00:28:30.240
What are we talking about?
744
00:28:32.740 --> 00:28:35.980
Once you're there, does it really matter? Does it really
745
00:28:36.039 --> 00:28:38.079
matter what size the ding dong is?
746
00:28:38.519 --> 00:28:40.619
Also, if you're down in a mine, you can't get
747
00:28:40.660 --> 00:28:42.329
reception on a transistor radio.
748
00:28:42.950 --> 00:28:45.029
Oh, that's a good point. This is a bum deal
749
00:28:45.049 --> 00:28:45.299
for this guy.
750
00:28:45.309 --> 00:28:47.450
The bigger point is, why did I think? That a
751
00:28:47.490 --> 00:28:49.690
guy was blowing an old man so he could borrow
752
00:28:49.730 --> 00:28:50.430
his transistor radio.
753
00:28:50.450 --> 00:28:51.930
That's the most surprising part of this. And he's receiving
754
00:28:51.950 --> 00:28:53.250
the fellatio in a mine?
755
00:28:53.490 --> 00:28:55.549
No, I think it's either man or mine, so it
756
00:28:55.589 --> 00:28:57.549
can't be both. He didn't go down into a mine
757
00:28:57.589 --> 00:29:00.049
to blow a guy. He blew a guy to get
758
00:29:00.069 --> 00:29:00.589
a radio.
759
00:29:00.609 --> 00:29:01.630
Oh.
760
00:29:01.650 --> 00:29:02.650
You know, can I say something?
761
00:29:02.670 --> 00:29:03.769
Location is independent.
762
00:29:03.789 --> 00:29:04.869
This can't air. This won't air.
763
00:29:04.890 --> 00:29:06.779
Maybe he went down on a mime.
764
00:29:06.990 --> 00:29:09.759
Oh, a mime. Oh. He went down on a mime
765
00:29:09.799 --> 00:29:12.420
and the mime's just making faces. And just pointing down. Oh,
766
00:29:12.460 --> 00:29:15.680
and the mime is walking against the wind. In place
767
00:29:15.720 --> 00:29:16.619
while he's being blown.
768
00:29:16.700 --> 00:29:17.039
Yes.
769
00:29:17.619 --> 00:29:17.880
Yes.
770
00:29:17.980 --> 00:29:20.099
And then he's in a box. But then he comes
771
00:29:20.160 --> 00:29:21.859
and he opens the box. He orgasms and he opens
772
00:29:21.900 --> 00:29:22.420
the top of the box.
773
00:29:22.440 --> 00:29:23.900
He's living in a cardboard box.
774
00:29:24.660 --> 00:29:28.940
I hate you. You still hitting delete over there? I'm
775
00:29:28.960 --> 00:29:29.869
not a fan of yours anymore.
776
00:29:29.890 --> 00:29:30.130
Agreed, Conan.
777
00:29:30.150 --> 00:29:31.069
I have never been a fan of yours.
778
00:29:31.089 --> 00:29:32.170
And I'll tell you why I'm not a fan.
779
00:29:32.230 --> 00:29:33.230
Please tell me the reasons.
780
00:29:33.710 --> 00:29:35.730
This was a great podcast. This was my chance to
781
00:29:35.769 --> 00:29:38.930
have someone from another nation come on from across the sea.
782
00:29:39.420 --> 00:29:42.359
and have a cultural exchange. And it's become, and I
783
00:29:42.380 --> 00:29:47.079
blame you, because on any ordinary day, this is a very, very,
784
00:29:48.299 --> 00:29:51.460
you know, I think, well... Regal. Regal podcast.
785
00:29:51.480 --> 00:29:51.680
Yes.
786
00:29:51.869 --> 00:29:54.890
Thank you. That was the word I was searching for. Regal. Yeah.
787
00:29:55.269 --> 00:29:55.490
You.
788
00:29:56.210 --> 00:29:58.049
I have a question for you. Oh, okay. One of
789
00:29:58.109 --> 00:30:00.410
your dreams, I know, is to be in a James
790
00:30:00.470 --> 00:30:02.410
Bond movie. As a villain, or do you think you
791
00:30:02.430 --> 00:30:06.900
could be James Bond? And this, Matthias, coincides with his.
792
00:30:06.940 --> 00:30:09.119
He loves James Bond movies. And I've been thinking about it.
793
00:30:09.119 --> 00:30:09.859
You're in great shape.
794
00:30:09.920 --> 00:30:10.150
Thank you.
795
00:30:10.160 --> 00:30:11.480
You're good looking. You're the correct age.
796
00:30:11.539 --> 00:30:11.839
What?
797
00:30:12.180 --> 00:30:15.400
Why can't James Bond be German?
798
00:30:16.000 --> 00:30:16.420
Can he be?
799
00:30:16.509 --> 00:30:17.200
Can he be German?
800
00:30:17.950 --> 00:30:20.210
Well, I mean, you're putting this on me?
801
00:30:20.289 --> 00:30:20.490
Yeah.
802
00:30:20.750 --> 00:30:20.970
Sure.
803
00:30:21.109 --> 00:30:21.309
Sure.
804
00:30:22.180 --> 00:30:22.380
Yeah.
805
00:30:22.420 --> 00:30:23.480
Do you want to be James Bond or do you
806
00:30:23.500 --> 00:30:25.420
want to be a villain? You'd be a good henchman, too.
807
00:30:25.460 --> 00:30:27.559
I like any of those. I like henches. I would
808
00:30:27.599 --> 00:30:28.380
do any of those things.
809
00:30:28.440 --> 00:30:29.759
I think you'd be an amazing henchman. I think it's
810
00:30:29.779 --> 00:30:31.980
going to be a problem to say His Majesty's Secret Service.
811
00:30:32.059 --> 00:30:34.140
His Majesty's Secret Service. Hello to you.
812
00:30:34.240 --> 00:30:34.859
But listen to you.
813
00:30:34.940 --> 00:30:36.019
It's me, 007.
814
00:30:36.019 --> 00:30:40.500
Watch out. You know what? This audition is going very well.
815
00:30:41.000 --> 00:30:43.099
Please come in, 007. We have an assignment for you.
816
00:30:43.220 --> 00:30:44.920
Thank you for inviting me in, Penny Money.
817
00:30:45.200 --> 00:30:50.339
Okay. We know. That you are, of course, a proud
818
00:30:50.460 --> 00:30:52.619
son of England and that you would do anything for
819
00:30:52.640 --> 00:30:53.019
the Queen.
820
00:30:53.240 --> 00:30:54.880
I will do all of the things for the Queen
821
00:30:54.920 --> 00:30:56.490
and also, to be clear, to the Queen.
822
00:30:56.690 --> 00:30:57.029
Okay.
823
00:30:57.309 --> 00:30:59.049
Oh. Okay. Listen.
824
00:30:59.529 --> 00:31:03.069
Bond, do come along. Absolutely.
825
00:31:03.940 --> 00:31:06.920
Now, I mean, it's a little bit of a problem
826
00:31:06.940 --> 00:31:07.720
that he's from Germany.
827
00:31:07.740 --> 00:31:08.819
Let's try him out as a villain.
828
00:31:08.940 --> 00:31:10.400
Okay. So you're Bond.
829
00:31:10.759 --> 00:31:12.960
You guys are having your big monologuing moment.
830
00:31:13.019 --> 00:31:15.839
Okay, so I have stumbled, you captured me. Yeah, you're captured.
831
00:31:15.900 --> 00:31:19.259
You're holding me captive in your, it's a volcano that
832
00:31:19.279 --> 00:31:21.720
you carved out. And you're showing me how you're gonna
833
00:31:21.759 --> 00:31:22.559
destroy the world.
834
00:31:23.759 --> 00:31:23.980
Hello.
835
00:31:24.609 --> 00:31:24.910
Dr.
836
00:31:24.970 --> 00:31:26.069
Flula.
837
00:31:26.390 --> 00:31:26.849
Yes.
838
00:31:26.930 --> 00:31:27.190
Dr.
839
00:31:27.269 --> 00:31:28.190
Flula, I presume.
840
00:31:28.430 --> 00:31:28.609
Yes.
841
00:31:28.670 --> 00:31:30.710
Hello to you, James, and welcome to my coffee. Is
842
00:31:30.750 --> 00:31:31.559
that your James Bond?
843
00:31:31.599 --> 00:31:31.930
I don't know.
844
00:31:31.970 --> 00:31:33.099
What is that?
845
00:31:33.180 --> 00:31:33.480
Listen.
846
00:31:33.660 --> 00:31:34.880
I was Connor. What was that?
847
00:31:34.960 --> 00:31:37.559
I was trying to do a sort of a, you know. Well,
848
00:31:37.599 --> 00:31:39.220
I'm trying to figure out what my Bond is. Hold
849
00:31:39.259 --> 00:31:39.660
on a second.
850
00:31:39.700 --> 00:31:39.960
Yeah, yeah.
851
00:31:39.980 --> 00:31:40.829
Let me get it. Let me get it.
852
00:31:41.119 --> 00:31:41.480
I think he's.
853
00:31:42.180 --> 00:31:42.559
Hold on.
854
00:31:42.720 --> 00:31:44.759
Is it a Roger Moore? He's like this.
855
00:31:44.799 --> 00:31:46.799
He talks like he's not very intimidating.
856
00:31:47.380 --> 00:31:51.490
Well, no. What is this? Your Bond is collecting butterflies.
857
00:31:51.549 --> 00:31:54.509
No, your Bond, just to match who you are.
858
00:31:54.589 --> 00:31:55.630
He's like this.
859
00:31:55.670 --> 00:31:56.410
He talks like this.
860
00:31:56.450 --> 00:31:57.910
No, that's not my Bond. Don't tell me who my
861
00:31:57.930 --> 00:32:00.480
Bond is. You're either this kind of Bond, like this. No,
862
00:32:00.519 --> 00:32:01.480
he's not that Bond.
863
00:32:01.519 --> 00:32:04.650
Or you're like, I'm Roger Moore.
864
00:32:05.049 --> 00:32:05.170
Oh!
865
00:32:05.190 --> 00:32:06.529
Well, that's Roger Moore towards the end.
866
00:32:06.549 --> 00:32:09.230
Hello, I'm James Bond.
867
00:32:09.250 --> 00:32:11.710
Hello, I'm James Bond. We'll try it this way.
868
00:32:11.809 --> 00:32:13.329
Okay. Dr.
869
00:32:13.450 --> 00:32:16.339
Flula, you seem to have captured me in your volcano.
870
00:32:16.359 --> 00:32:17.119
What is your plan?
871
00:32:17.279 --> 00:32:20.440
Yes, Timothy Dalton. Thank you for coming to my volcano
872
00:32:20.519 --> 00:32:22.660
that I have emptied out using a tiny shovel for
873
00:32:22.660 --> 00:32:23.400
200 years.
874
00:32:24.720 --> 00:32:28.220
I did notice there are no henchmen. Usually people have henchmen,
875
00:32:28.240 --> 00:32:28.900
but I suppose.
876
00:32:29.349 --> 00:32:30.009
You, uh.
877
00:32:30.109 --> 00:32:31.670
Sorry, but you're like a prospect.
878
00:32:32.130 --> 00:32:35.130
So bad. Hold on a second. Mine's better than yours.
879
00:32:35.150 --> 00:32:36.119
I'm just wondering.
880
00:32:36.130 --> 00:32:37.420
Yes, James.
881
00:32:38.660 --> 00:32:41.299
Is your gold in this here hill? That may be, James.
882
00:32:41.359 --> 00:32:42.140
No, let me ask you something.
883
00:32:42.660 --> 00:32:46.160
Just a little bit of a question for you, Mr... Dr.
884
00:32:46.269 --> 00:32:47.130
Flula, if you will.
885
00:32:47.809 --> 00:32:49.869
What are your intentions? How do you plan to take
886
00:32:49.930 --> 00:32:50.609
over the world?
887
00:32:50.910 --> 00:32:53.880
It's very simple, really, Timothy. I plan to just take
888
00:32:54.119 --> 00:32:56.559
all of the television shows, turn them into one big show,
889
00:32:56.660 --> 00:32:58.589
and then just blare it out into the sky.
890
00:33:01.750 --> 00:33:01.970
Yes.
891
00:33:02.069 --> 00:33:04.349
This will destroy the world as we know it.
892
00:33:04.400 --> 00:33:06.900
It's called Max, which is the same place Conan must
893
00:33:06.920 --> 00:33:08.640
go as Eric.
894
00:33:08.680 --> 00:33:11.960
Season two, streaming now. Nicely done.
895
00:33:12.329 --> 00:33:12.529
Yes.
896
00:33:13.349 --> 00:33:15.190
I think that audition went quite well. You're hired? You're
897
00:33:15.210 --> 00:33:18.130
both hired. Oh, great. Amazon called and they've got their
898
00:33:18.150 --> 00:33:20.089
new bond. You're not hired. Let me tell you something.
899
00:33:20.230 --> 00:33:22.180
My bond is fascinating because you never know what you're
900
00:33:22.200 --> 00:33:24.960
going to get next. You can't hone in on, is
901
00:33:25.000 --> 00:33:30.559
he Australian? Yosemite Sam. Is he Yosemite Sam? Is his
902
00:33:30.680 --> 00:33:31.579
jaw broken?
903
00:33:31.680 --> 00:33:31.940
Right.
904
00:33:32.119 --> 00:33:34.759
You don't know exactly what's going on with my Bond. Yes, yes.
905
00:33:34.799 --> 00:33:35.259
Shapeshifter.
906
00:33:35.480 --> 00:33:37.119
James Bond. James Bond.
907
00:33:37.240 --> 00:33:40.819
Yes. You're like, what's a rogue? Cypops? What's the one
908
00:33:40.880 --> 00:33:42.940
lady from X-Men who could be anything but when she
909
00:33:42.980 --> 00:33:44.829
was relaxed, looked like a seahorse?
910
00:33:44.849 --> 00:33:45.329
Oh, Mystique.
911
00:33:45.589 --> 00:33:46.480
Yes, you're like Mystique.
912
00:33:46.809 --> 00:33:46.930
Okay.
913
00:33:46.950 --> 00:33:47.769
All right.
914
00:33:47.789 --> 00:33:50.829
God, you know. You are so well-versed in your movies
915
00:33:50.869 --> 00:33:52.829
and your pop culture, and you love a video game,
916
00:33:52.849 --> 00:33:53.210
don't you?
917
00:33:53.710 --> 00:33:54.789
Oh, I do love a video game.
918
00:33:54.849 --> 00:33:56.210
You like Grand Theft Auto?
919
00:33:56.369 --> 00:33:59.490
I like GTA, a medium amount to large amount, depending
920
00:33:59.529 --> 00:34:03.759
on the amount. Do you call it Grand Theft Auto? Yes,
921
00:34:03.819 --> 00:34:06.420
I call it Grand Thievery Automobile. I think you should
922
00:34:06.460 --> 00:34:07.319
say things full names.
923
00:34:08.199 --> 00:34:10.059
Do they have a German edition of Grand Theft Auto
924
00:34:10.079 --> 00:34:11.320
where you're on the Autobahn?
925
00:34:11.480 --> 00:34:14.280
You're not because it's too fast. We have a GTA Düsseldorf,
926
00:34:14.679 --> 00:34:17.139
which involves not exceeding 35 kilometers per hour.
927
00:34:18.429 --> 00:34:20.519
And everything is kept very clean. Of course. And no
928
00:34:20.559 --> 00:34:21.179
one breaks any rules.
929
00:34:21.199 --> 00:34:22.099
You are immediately arrested.
930
00:34:23.159 --> 00:34:29.699
Game over. So you're saying GTA Dusseldorf, it doesn't go
931
00:34:29.760 --> 00:34:30.480
very far, right?
932
00:34:30.900 --> 00:34:31.099
Yes.
933
00:34:31.320 --> 00:34:32.469
You're questioned very quickly.
934
00:34:32.550 --> 00:34:34.670
That's correct. If you break the laws in GTA Dusseldorf,
935
00:34:34.769 --> 00:34:36.929
two weeks later, you will receive a fine in the
936
00:34:36.949 --> 00:34:40.300
mail directly from the PlayStation that you played on.
937
00:34:40.369 --> 00:34:41.389
Oh, wow. That's terrible.
938
00:34:41.750 --> 00:34:42.670
Sorry, but how was your drink?
939
00:34:43.210 --> 00:34:45.030
It's very good. Please, let's not make it about me.
940
00:34:45.070 --> 00:34:49.900
Let's make it about you. Okay. I am curious, what's
941
00:34:49.920 --> 00:34:51.340
your favorite of the video games?
942
00:34:51.820 --> 00:34:53.559
Of all the video games in the world?
943
00:34:53.920 --> 00:34:54.079
Yeah.
944
00:34:54.280 --> 00:34:55.699
I'm trying to play Zaxxon.
945
00:34:56.139 --> 00:34:56.619
Oh, Zaxxon.
946
00:34:56.639 --> 00:34:58.400
Which is a very old school game with two X's,
947
00:34:58.460 --> 00:35:00.860
involves a fake 3D and a spaceship that goes up
948
00:35:00.900 --> 00:35:01.239
and down.
949
00:35:01.920 --> 00:35:02.860
What happens on Zaxxon?
950
00:35:02.880 --> 00:35:03.940
I don't remember that one.
951
00:35:03.980 --> 00:35:05.900
You're kind of like Space Invaders style, right?
952
00:35:05.940 --> 00:35:06.179
Yes.
953
00:35:06.360 --> 00:35:08.860
So you're shooting up. This is 1980s technology.
954
00:35:09.079 --> 00:35:11.059
I've told you I have not evolved since I have
955
00:35:11.260 --> 00:35:13.860
been Y Flula, which is short for Young Flula.
956
00:35:13.880 --> 00:35:15.559
So in 1985, someone hit you with a brick?
957
00:35:15.579 --> 00:35:15.650
Yes.
958
00:35:16.059 --> 00:35:17.340
And you have not evolved since then.
959
00:35:17.969 --> 00:35:20.449
I do not know about the brick. Something definitely hit
960
00:35:20.469 --> 00:35:20.949
my cranium.
961
00:35:21.190 --> 00:35:21.510
Okay.
962
00:35:21.929 --> 00:35:24.130
Conan, what's your favorite video game? Tell me immediately.
963
00:35:24.429 --> 00:35:26.789
Okay, I will tell you my favorite video game. I
964
00:35:26.849 --> 00:35:30.590
have to say it's those World War II... you know,
965
00:35:30.840 --> 00:35:33.380
war games. Oh, Call of Duty. Call of Duty, I
966
00:35:33.420 --> 00:35:36.679
like those. I like anything where, or I like the
967
00:35:36.719 --> 00:35:39.179
World War I Call of Duty. That might be my
968
00:35:39.219 --> 00:35:41.639
favorite because there's a lot of biplanes and Zeppelins flying around.
969
00:35:41.659 --> 00:35:43.050
I just like something that has a little bit of
970
00:35:43.070 --> 00:35:44.329
a historic connotation.
971
00:35:44.510 --> 00:35:46.570
I'm shocked you answered that question.
972
00:35:46.670 --> 00:35:49.829
Also, I like Slenderman. I know that's a really old reference,
973
00:35:50.269 --> 00:35:52.469
but I think it was based on me. And I
974
00:35:52.510 --> 00:35:55.429
think I'm the original concept behind Slenderman.
975
00:35:55.449 --> 00:35:56.099
That's a video game?
976
00:35:56.659 --> 00:35:57.820
I thought it was a film.
977
00:35:58.300 --> 00:35:59.900
I thought it was just an urban legend that then
978
00:35:59.940 --> 00:36:00.599
became a film.
979
00:36:01.000 --> 00:36:02.800
I think it was a video game. Wasn't there a
980
00:36:02.800 --> 00:36:03.739
video game, Slenderman?
981
00:36:04.719 --> 00:36:05.989
And you're saying Slenderman?
982
00:36:06.010 --> 00:36:07.510
Why are you saying it's Slenderman?
983
00:36:07.530 --> 00:36:09.989
Of the Connecticut Slendermans?
984
00:36:10.090 --> 00:36:10.969
Yeah.
985
00:36:11.769 --> 00:36:13.630
He's the one that got me into the club, the Slendermans.
986
00:36:13.769 --> 00:36:17.389
It's a computer game, according to this. Oh, okay. Well,
987
00:36:17.429 --> 00:36:19.400
forget I said it. No, you got it. You're right.
988
00:36:19.420 --> 00:36:20.099
That was wonderful.
989
00:36:20.119 --> 00:36:22.960
It was a computer game. Yes. Okay, well, listen. Slenderman.
990
00:36:23.019 --> 00:36:26.519
I want to stay... Okay. You like to play Zaxxon.
991
00:36:26.539 --> 00:36:29.079
You listen to C & C Music Factory. You think
992
00:36:29.099 --> 00:36:31.199
that Reagan is just beginning his second term.
993
00:36:31.239 --> 00:36:32.460
It's just now started, yes.
994
00:36:32.539 --> 00:36:32.840
It's 1985.
995
00:36:32.820 --> 00:36:33.260
Right.
996
00:36:33.659 --> 00:36:36.139
There's some signs that maybe he's slipping a little bit,
997
00:36:36.159 --> 00:36:37.590
but everyone's going, what are you talking about?
998
00:36:37.670 --> 00:36:38.969
It's like, listen, tear down that wall.
999
00:36:39.150 --> 00:36:39.349
Yeah.
1000
00:36:39.750 --> 00:36:40.329
That's all he says.
1001
00:36:40.679 --> 00:36:42.989
Were you okay with that when he said... Well, I
1002
00:36:43.030 --> 00:36:45.090
would prefer to remove it gently brick by brick.
1003
00:36:45.389 --> 00:36:45.849
Yeah.
1004
00:36:45.889 --> 00:36:46.710
I think that's better.
1005
00:36:46.750 --> 00:36:47.510
Just for safety reasons.
1006
00:36:47.530 --> 00:36:48.210
Yeah, exactly.
1007
00:36:48.230 --> 00:36:49.289
The energy I supported.
1008
00:36:49.309 --> 00:36:53.090
To be clear. Did you not support this? Oh, no,
1009
00:36:53.179 --> 00:36:55.460
I did. I was very happy. I thought Germany should
1010
00:36:55.480 --> 00:36:58.980
be united, east and west. Like the Koreas.
1011
00:36:59.320 --> 00:36:59.480
Right.
1012
00:36:59.949 --> 00:37:01.940
Well, I would like it if they would resolve the
1013
00:37:01.980 --> 00:37:03.980
Korean issue as well.
1014
00:37:04.179 --> 00:37:05.119
Great enough global talk.
1015
00:37:05.320 --> 00:37:07.519
Yeah. I mean, it's getting a little serious here, but
1016
00:37:07.559 --> 00:37:08.980
if you're going to ask me questions that are serious,
1017
00:37:09.019 --> 00:37:12.730
I'll answer them. Yes, I do wish that the division
1018
00:37:12.750 --> 00:37:16.699
between North and South Korea ended. And it was one country.
1019
00:37:16.860 --> 00:37:17.920
What about the Carolinas?
1020
00:37:18.280 --> 00:37:19.320
I think, no, no.
1021
00:37:19.619 --> 00:37:20.420
That's impossible, correct?
1022
00:37:20.440 --> 00:37:23.460
That's impossible. The division between North and South Carolina. If anything,
1023
00:37:23.480 --> 00:37:24.619
there's going to be a third Carolina.
1024
00:37:24.659 --> 00:37:25.179
Yes.
1025
00:37:25.340 --> 00:37:27.119
The Dakotas. And someone else.
1026
00:37:27.179 --> 00:37:29.849
And don't get me started on the Virginias.
1027
00:37:30.150 --> 00:37:30.309
Yeah.
1028
00:37:30.329 --> 00:37:33.849
Virginias, yeah. West and proper. Hey, don't say that. West
1029
00:37:33.909 --> 00:37:35.570
is the only Virginia as far as I'm concerned.
1030
00:37:35.610 --> 00:37:36.329
I disagree, friend.
1031
00:37:36.570 --> 00:37:36.869
Really?
1032
00:37:36.889 --> 00:37:37.710
Snap what?
1033
00:37:38.900 --> 00:37:39.579
Shots fired.
1034
00:37:39.599 --> 00:37:41.380
He's got the power. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
1035
00:37:41.400 --> 00:37:41.820
He shows his side.
1036
00:37:41.840 --> 00:37:42.579
You don't know snap?
1037
00:37:42.860 --> 00:37:44.860
That's the sound of a fired shot, yes.
1038
00:37:45.099 --> 00:37:46.920
You are a fan of coin collecting. I'm going to
1039
00:37:46.940 --> 00:37:48.000
switch topics quickly.
1040
00:37:48.179 --> 00:37:48.380
Yes.
1041
00:37:48.400 --> 00:37:49.659
Because that's what you have to do with Flula to
1042
00:37:49.679 --> 00:37:50.440
keep it going. Yes.
1043
00:37:50.519 --> 00:37:51.420
Buffalo head nickels.
1044
00:37:52.199 --> 00:37:53.739
Now, when did this begin? Wheat pennies.
1045
00:37:54.139 --> 00:37:54.300
What?
1046
00:37:54.679 --> 00:37:56.769
Wheat pennies. Oh, pennies that have the little shafts of
1047
00:37:56.809 --> 00:37:57.309
wheat on them.
1048
00:37:57.409 --> 00:37:57.869
Shafts?
1049
00:37:58.230 --> 00:37:58.610
Huh?
1050
00:37:58.789 --> 00:37:59.610
Sprigs? Oh.
1051
00:38:00.130 --> 00:38:00.269
What?
1052
00:38:00.860 --> 00:38:01.079
Yes.
1053
00:38:01.440 --> 00:38:04.639
Why do you derail everything I say? There are pennies
1054
00:38:04.679 --> 00:38:06.710
that have little pieces of wheat on them. I just
1055
00:38:06.730 --> 00:38:09.550
said shafts of wheat and you derailed the whole thing. Sorry,
1056
00:38:09.570 --> 00:38:11.690
but a shaft to me is a very different item
1057
00:38:11.829 --> 00:38:15.409
than a piece of wheat. But yes, wheat pennies. Yeah. Okay,
1058
00:38:15.429 --> 00:38:17.190
I guess I'm the one in the wrong here.
1059
00:38:17.329 --> 00:38:19.630
I've never heard shaft of penny, but I think we
1060
00:38:19.670 --> 00:38:21.550
all think of dicks when you say shaft.
1061
00:38:21.610 --> 00:38:23.429
I was thinking of a penis. Yeah, it's a ding dong.
1062
00:38:23.449 --> 00:38:23.630
Sorry.
1063
00:38:23.710 --> 00:38:28.139
It's a ding dong. Sorry. You said shaft. So we
1064
00:38:28.159 --> 00:38:30.099
all didn't know you were talking about wheat. We thought
1065
00:38:30.119 --> 00:38:31.500
you were talking about a penis.
1066
00:38:31.519 --> 00:38:35.530
Someone says the elevator is not available today because we're
1067
00:38:35.550 --> 00:38:38.389
working on the shaft. You immediately think.
1068
00:38:38.409 --> 00:38:38.969
Penis.
1069
00:38:39.570 --> 00:38:40.170
That's what you mean.
1070
00:38:40.190 --> 00:38:43.369
You have to work on the penis to fix the elevator.
1071
00:38:43.429 --> 00:38:47.250
I'm going to try hard to make this better. You
1072
00:38:47.289 --> 00:38:50.130
collect these coins. Yes. What else do you, besides the
1073
00:38:50.170 --> 00:38:52.440
buffalo head and the wheat pennies, what else do you collect?
1074
00:38:52.829 --> 00:38:55.130
What's your most valuable coin that you have in your collection? Flula,
1075
00:38:55.150 --> 00:38:55.650
answer quickly.
1076
00:38:55.809 --> 00:38:57.670
I have none of value, but I did once have
1077
00:38:57.710 --> 00:39:01.239
a Bicentennial quarter, which was made in 1976 to celebrate
1078
00:39:01.340 --> 00:39:03.900
your Bicentennial, which is 200 years of being America.
1079
00:39:04.239 --> 00:39:06.699
Yes, yes. It was quite a long time ago now,
1080
00:39:06.739 --> 00:39:08.800
of course, but I would think that that would be
1081
00:39:08.820 --> 00:39:11.039
a very common... It wasn't that long ago.
1082
00:39:11.239 --> 00:39:18.289
No, it's also, it's worth 26 cents. Conan, are you
1083
00:39:18.329 --> 00:39:19.309
a collector of items?
1084
00:39:20.840 --> 00:39:23.400
I really am not. You could say I have a
1085
00:39:23.420 --> 00:39:24.480
guitar collection.
1086
00:39:24.619 --> 00:39:25.539
Oh, but I shouldn't.
1087
00:39:25.949 --> 00:39:28.030
Well, you'll be punished if you do.
1088
00:39:28.309 --> 00:39:28.429
Oh.
1089
00:39:28.969 --> 00:39:32.239
I have a lot of guitars. I didn't seek them out.
1090
00:39:32.320 --> 00:39:35.280
I sought a few of them out, but mostly over
1091
00:39:35.320 --> 00:39:38.820
the years of musical people coming on my show and
1092
00:39:38.980 --> 00:39:41.739
seeing at rehearsal that I played guitar or was trying
1093
00:39:41.760 --> 00:39:44.539
to get better at guitar, they would gift me a guitar.
1094
00:39:44.579 --> 00:39:47.239
And over the years, I've amassed a bunch. And at
1095
00:39:47.300 --> 00:39:50.460
some point, I want to Some of them are quite strange,
1096
00:39:51.119 --> 00:39:52.659
and I want to share them with the world at
1097
00:39:52.679 --> 00:39:56.460
some point and tell the story behind some of them.
1098
00:39:56.480 --> 00:39:59.699
Some of them are incredible, and then some of them
1099
00:39:59.739 --> 00:40:03.409
are quite absurd and ridiculous. A guitar I got, I believe,
1100
00:40:03.489 --> 00:40:07.949
maybe from Sweden, which is made with a bathroom scale,
1101
00:40:09.190 --> 00:40:11.090
is the base of the guitar. It has a neck
1102
00:40:11.250 --> 00:40:14.750
coming out of it, and it's a functioning bathroom scale.
1103
00:40:14.849 --> 00:40:18.150
Some of them look like my face. I don't see
1104
00:40:18.170 --> 00:40:21.630
the value of that. It's a delicious face. But also
1105
00:40:21.690 --> 00:40:23.909
some really good, great guitars.
1106
00:40:24.030 --> 00:40:25.530
I smell a new podcast, Conag.
1107
00:40:26.769 --> 00:40:29.050
Conan O'Brien needs a guitar. Yes. Oh, it's not a
1108
00:40:29.070 --> 00:40:32.909
guitar where I'm nagged and hectored by... No. Okay.
1109
00:40:33.030 --> 00:40:35.559
No, it'd be very supportive where every time you receive
1110
00:40:35.579 --> 00:40:36.480
a new diddly-doot.
1111
00:40:37.159 --> 00:40:37.840
A guitar.
1112
00:40:38.320 --> 00:40:38.559
Yes.
1113
00:40:38.639 --> 00:40:41.099
It's not called a diddly-doot. Well, it's shorter to say diddly-doot.
1114
00:40:41.199 --> 00:40:41.659
I don't think so.
1115
00:40:41.659 --> 00:40:42.360
I think guitar is faster.
1116
00:40:42.420 --> 00:40:44.659
Everyone knows what I'm saying when I say diddly-doot. It's
1117
00:40:44.679 --> 00:40:45.280
not a clarinet.
1118
00:40:45.539 --> 00:40:45.760
Okay.
1119
00:40:45.820 --> 00:40:47.539
It's not a tuba. Okay. It's a guitar.
1120
00:40:47.559 --> 00:40:48.420
What do you guys call a tuba?
1121
00:40:49.000 --> 00:40:49.360
A tuba.
1122
00:40:50.219 --> 00:40:50.559
A tuba?
1123
00:40:50.719 --> 00:40:51.320
No, a tuba.
1124
00:40:51.559 --> 00:40:52.570
Okay.
1125
00:40:52.760 --> 00:40:54.070
What do you call a tuba?
1126
00:40:54.429 --> 00:40:55.329
We call it a taiben.
1127
00:40:55.630 --> 00:40:56.170
A taiben?
1128
00:40:56.309 --> 00:41:02.929
Yeah. Oh. Listen, you are, I don't know. I can't
1129
00:41:02.969 --> 00:41:05.980
get a beat on you. It's like trying to push
1130
00:41:06.039 --> 00:41:08.219
down on a moist seed. It just squirts away. But
1131
00:41:08.239 --> 00:41:09.219
you're putting it all on him.
1132
00:41:09.230 --> 00:41:10.550
I think you're bringing a little of this in.
1133
00:41:10.610 --> 00:41:11.949
Who are you doing it? No, no, no. Excuse me.
1134
00:41:12.050 --> 00:41:12.530
I am not.
1135
00:41:12.809 --> 00:41:13.929
You said shaft of wheat.
1136
00:41:13.949 --> 00:41:14.289
You did say that.
1137
00:41:14.309 --> 00:41:15.309
You knew where that went.
1138
00:41:15.730 --> 00:41:18.929
Yeah. No, I didn't. You think everything I say, if
1139
00:41:18.989 --> 00:41:21.239
I said like, oh, look, there's a red balloon, you're like, oh,
1140
00:41:21.380 --> 00:41:23.860
here he goes with his dicks again. I mean, not
1141
00:41:23.940 --> 00:41:25.179
everything is a penis.
1142
00:41:25.199 --> 00:41:27.579
I thought that meant diaphragm, but yes, it's fine.
1143
00:41:29.440 --> 00:41:31.400
I'm going to ask you something. You keep a diary,
1144
00:41:31.719 --> 00:41:35.719
I'm told. How do you know about this? Because I
1145
00:41:36.539 --> 00:41:38.679
borrowed it last night while you were sleeping.
1146
00:41:39.340 --> 00:41:40.360
Oh, so that was your entry?
1147
00:41:40.579 --> 00:41:41.780
Yes, that was my entry.
1148
00:41:42.699 --> 00:41:44.300
What's your obsession with termites?
1149
00:41:46.889 --> 00:41:49.429
I came into your apartment, and no, you keep a diary.
1150
00:41:49.489 --> 00:41:51.690
You're a loyal keeper of a diary, but you don't
1151
00:41:51.809 --> 00:41:52.849
call it a diary.
1152
00:41:52.889 --> 00:41:56.050
You call it a Dankbarheitsjournal.
1153
00:41:56.349 --> 00:41:56.590
What's that?
1154
00:41:57.030 --> 00:41:59.630
A Dankbarheitsjournal. I thought it was a Tagebuch. Also, ein
1155
00:41:59.650 --> 00:42:01.610
Tagebuch is a daybook. Yes, you can call it a diary.
1156
00:42:01.630 --> 00:42:03.570
Well, why did you call it something else? I did
1157
00:42:04.030 --> 00:42:07.489
research here. I had people watching you for a while.
1158
00:42:07.570 --> 00:42:08.909
Thank you. I know.
1159
00:42:08.969 --> 00:42:10.750
I left my door unlocked.
1160
00:42:10.929 --> 00:42:13.889
You keep a diary, or as you call it, a Tagebuch.
1161
00:42:13.909 --> 00:42:15.309
Ein Tagebuch.
1162
00:42:15.949 --> 00:42:18.550
Why do you keep a diary? Are you journaling in
1163
00:42:18.590 --> 00:42:20.010
this diary? What are you writing in your diary?
1164
00:42:20.150 --> 00:42:21.869
Every day, there are three things that are wrong and
1165
00:42:21.889 --> 00:42:23.469
three things that are right, and I have to write
1166
00:42:23.530 --> 00:42:26.710
about those things, and then I do it. Then I
1167
00:42:26.750 --> 00:42:28.849
fix the things that are wrong or perhaps leave them
1168
00:42:28.889 --> 00:42:30.570
be and cry about them and move on.
1169
00:42:30.929 --> 00:42:31.210
Okay.
1170
00:42:31.309 --> 00:42:32.530
Do you not have a target book, Conan?
1171
00:42:32.789 --> 00:42:34.449
I don't write down the things that are right and
1172
00:42:34.469 --> 00:42:36.619
the things that are wrong. I don't understand that part.
1173
00:42:37.119 --> 00:42:40.039
I mean, I have to-do lists like, oh, I should
1174
00:42:40.079 --> 00:42:41.760
do this. I should do that. Sometimes I write down
1175
00:42:41.800 --> 00:42:42.579
my feelings.
1176
00:42:42.800 --> 00:42:43.039
Wrong.
1177
00:42:43.079 --> 00:42:48.179
Another podcast with, you know. Matt and Sona, boy, they
1178
00:42:48.199 --> 00:42:50.139
really get in the way and they stop me from
1179
00:42:50.179 --> 00:42:50.940
being my true self.
1180
00:42:50.960 --> 00:42:51.619
But that's correct.
1181
00:42:51.679 --> 00:42:52.059
Yes, yes.
1182
00:42:52.099 --> 00:42:53.079
They are holding you down.
1183
00:42:53.159 --> 00:42:53.500
Yeah.
1184
00:42:53.739 --> 00:42:55.590
Think of the heights I could scale if it weren't
1185
00:42:55.619 --> 00:42:57.389
for these monsters.
1186
00:42:57.469 --> 00:42:58.730
Some things in my tuckaboo.
1187
00:42:59.010 --> 00:43:00.070
Yeah, yeah.
1188
00:43:00.170 --> 00:43:03.789
Eduardo, what's he up to over there? Nobody knows. Fiddling
1189
00:43:03.829 --> 00:43:04.590
with his dials.
1190
00:43:05.469 --> 00:43:06.250
What are those for?
1191
00:43:06.329 --> 00:43:06.730
A shaft.
1192
00:43:06.969 --> 00:43:07.469
A shaft.
1193
00:43:07.530 --> 00:43:10.780
You know, Eduardo, you're better than that. Everyone looks up
1194
00:43:10.800 --> 00:43:12.320
to you on this podcast and now you've done it.
1195
00:43:14.260 --> 00:43:19.050
Your favorite superhero is Spider-Man. How did you know this?
1196
00:43:19.130 --> 00:43:22.789
Because I looked in your diary and it says Flula
1197
00:43:22.869 --> 00:43:27.800
loves Spider-Man. Yes. Or Flula Spider-Man or Mrs. Flula Spider-Man.
1198
00:43:28.739 --> 00:43:31.280
You just dream about Spider-Man all day long. Why do
1199
00:43:31.300 --> 00:43:33.019
you like Spider-Man the best of all the heroes?
1200
00:43:33.199 --> 00:43:35.289
I like that he has limitless webs because if he's
1201
00:43:35.309 --> 00:43:36.570
super hungry, he can also just go.
1202
00:43:38.139 --> 00:43:38.969
You can eat the webs?
1203
00:43:39.389 --> 00:43:40.590
If you're a spider, absolutely.
1204
00:43:41.050 --> 00:43:43.949
I guess it's fiber. I never thought of that. Maybe
1205
00:43:43.969 --> 00:43:46.630
the webs are like a hardened cheese. Of course. It's
1206
00:43:46.650 --> 00:43:46.989
like a berry.
1207
00:43:47.010 --> 00:43:47.550
It's a munster.
1208
00:43:47.889 --> 00:43:49.690
A munster. Is that the right way to say it?
1209
00:43:50.230 --> 00:43:51.750
I say munster, yes. What do you say?
1210
00:43:53.250 --> 00:43:55.269
Now I say munster. I say munster. If I see
1211
00:43:55.289 --> 00:43:55.949
the umlaut.
1212
00:43:56.329 --> 00:43:56.550
Yeah.
1213
00:43:56.809 --> 00:43:58.429
R-U-E is also like an umlaut.
1214
00:43:58.750 --> 00:44:01.409
You guys, you have a great language. You have an umlaut.
1215
00:44:01.789 --> 00:44:03.849
And I love the umlaut. And I wish we had
1216
00:44:03.869 --> 00:44:06.579
an umlaut in this country. I'd like to... I bet
1217
00:44:06.599 --> 00:44:08.590
you carry an umlaut with you wherever you go.
1218
00:44:08.639 --> 00:44:09.199
Two periods.
1219
00:44:09.409 --> 00:44:09.630
Yes.
1220
00:44:10.170 --> 00:44:10.289
And.
1221
00:44:12.349 --> 00:44:14.590
But it changes Munster to... Munster.
1222
00:44:14.610 --> 00:44:15.650
It's fantastic.
1223
00:44:15.670 --> 00:44:16.389
Do you like an umlaut?
1224
00:44:16.570 --> 00:44:17.210
Sure, yeah.
1225
00:44:17.389 --> 00:44:17.670
Okay.
1226
00:44:17.710 --> 00:44:18.289
I love an umlaut.
1227
00:44:18.610 --> 00:44:21.909
Yeah. My favorite's the Denver umlaut. You know what? Let
1228
00:44:21.929 --> 00:44:23.449
me tell you something. Oh, come on. I'll tell you
1229
00:44:23.489 --> 00:44:24.860
why I'm funny and then I'll tell you how I'm funny.
1230
00:44:25.219 --> 00:44:26.340
Adam doesn't even know what's happening.
1231
00:44:26.360 --> 00:44:27.599
We're bringing you down?
1232
00:44:27.619 --> 00:44:28.059
Adam.
1233
00:44:28.079 --> 00:44:29.440
You just said Denver umlaut.
1234
00:44:29.460 --> 00:44:31.059
You owe everybody an apology.
1235
00:44:31.079 --> 00:44:35.300
You know what's so funny? Adam... He's always usually very supportive.
1236
00:44:35.340 --> 00:44:38.320
He's supportive 98% of the time. Today, whenever I speak,
1237
00:44:38.400 --> 00:44:42.000
he looks like he's having gas pain under his sternum.
1238
00:44:42.260 --> 00:44:43.960
Oh, I assumed he's deathly ill.
1239
00:44:44.059 --> 00:44:47.340
Yeah. You're not the problem, apparently. Oh, no, I am
1240
00:44:47.380 --> 00:44:48.360
the problem. You think so?
1241
00:44:48.599 --> 00:44:48.889
Yes.
1242
00:44:49.110 --> 00:44:51.710
I think you allow my stupidity. It's your fault.
1243
00:44:51.769 --> 00:44:53.429
I welcome it and love it and hug it and
1244
00:44:53.489 --> 00:44:53.949
spoon it.
1245
00:44:55.909 --> 00:44:57.070
All right, then.
1246
00:44:57.170 --> 00:44:58.050
It's my favorite thing.
1247
00:44:58.070 --> 00:45:00.650
I don't want to get too personal, but how's your...
1248
00:45:01.269 --> 00:45:01.809
Love life.
1249
00:45:01.869 --> 00:45:05.170
Listen, I'm dating currently a techno whole note.
1250
00:45:06.030 --> 00:45:06.530
That's right.
1251
00:45:06.670 --> 00:45:07.530
Oh, what?
1252
00:45:07.550 --> 00:45:13.199
It's four beats of delicious techno at 102 BPM. Consistent, reliable.
1253
00:45:13.320 --> 00:45:16.920
I can pause it, mute it, turn it up. It's delicious.
1254
00:45:18.460 --> 00:45:20.059
So can I hear what it sounds like for a second?
1255
00:45:21.460 --> 00:45:22.500
That is what you're dating.
1256
00:45:23.019 --> 00:45:23.260
Yes.
1257
00:45:23.539 --> 00:45:28.139
Okay. Does it have a name? Okay.
1258
00:45:29.679 --> 00:45:30.369
You fool.
1259
00:45:32.969 --> 00:45:37.949
Yeah. I've always wanted you to be in a relationship.
1260
00:45:39.070 --> 00:45:43.699
I know you. You're a good-looking Germanic fellow. You're in
1261
00:45:43.719 --> 00:45:44.420
the clubs.
1262
00:45:44.800 --> 00:45:45.289
In the clubs, yes.
1263
00:45:45.280 --> 00:45:49.239
50 cent. You've got this incredible, you know.
1264
00:45:50.679 --> 00:45:50.820
Oh.
1265
00:45:50.900 --> 00:45:54.219
You're probably dating a different BPM every night. Oh, yes.
1266
00:45:54.320 --> 00:45:56.500
I will switch it up quickly. Thanks, Spotify.
1267
00:45:56.519 --> 00:45:57.269
But don't you.
1268
00:45:57.280 --> 00:45:58.420
Do you want to date him?
1269
00:45:58.460 --> 00:45:58.880
Very much.
1270
00:45:58.920 --> 00:45:59.400
Say it, Conan.
1271
00:45:59.420 --> 00:46:01.380
Okay, I figured. Because you're just going on and on
1272
00:46:01.420 --> 00:46:01.800
about him.
1273
00:46:01.820 --> 00:46:02.500
It just sounds like.
1274
00:46:02.659 --> 00:46:03.639
He's a dreamboat.
1275
00:46:03.949 --> 00:46:05.610
Are you in an open relationship, Conan?
1276
00:46:06.269 --> 00:46:07.469
My wife would like me to be.
1277
00:46:07.809 --> 00:46:08.869
Oh, she's insisting.
1278
00:46:08.909 --> 00:46:13.769
My wife has suggested several times, actually several times a week...
1279
00:46:14.159 --> 00:46:16.679
That maybe I'd like to explore other possibilities.
1280
00:46:16.719 --> 00:46:19.460
Conan, let's go visit a proverbial coffee bean and tea
1281
00:46:19.500 --> 00:46:20.079
leaf together.
1282
00:46:20.099 --> 00:46:21.679
Oh, I would do that. Anytime.
1283
00:46:21.760 --> 00:46:22.840
Oh, I mean proverbial though.
1284
00:46:23.239 --> 00:46:23.340
Oh.
1285
00:46:23.360 --> 00:46:24.750
So you're talking about something else.
1286
00:46:24.769 --> 00:46:25.110
Yes.
1287
00:46:25.550 --> 00:46:25.670
Oh.
1288
00:46:25.769 --> 00:46:28.050
You know. Your tea bean, my leaf.
1289
00:46:28.369 --> 00:46:34.130
I don't know what to do with you.
1290
00:46:34.429 --> 00:46:34.809
Same.
1291
00:46:35.369 --> 00:46:39.150
You know what's funny? They give me pages of what
1292
00:46:39.190 --> 00:46:41.010
they think I'm going to talk to Flula about.
1293
00:46:41.050 --> 00:46:41.289
Yes.
1294
00:46:41.349 --> 00:46:45.010
But none of it. What good is this? You can't
1295
00:46:45.050 --> 00:46:47.289
have notes when you talk to Flula Ball.
1296
00:46:47.349 --> 00:46:47.969
Don't do it.
1297
00:46:48.429 --> 00:46:49.519
No, don't do it.
1298
00:46:49.550 --> 00:46:50.300
Don't do it, Conan.
1299
00:46:50.320 --> 00:46:52.980
And drugs in the 70s and 80s, just don't do it.
1300
00:46:52.980 --> 00:46:55.659
Yes, put that frying pan away and also that egg
1301
00:46:55.679 --> 00:46:56.519
that you cracked on it.
1302
00:46:57.599 --> 00:46:58.679
That's your mind on drugs?
1303
00:46:58.929 --> 00:46:59.159
Mm-hmm.
1304
00:46:59.900 --> 00:47:00.800
No one knows what we're talking about.
1305
00:47:00.820 --> 00:47:01.429
They don't know it.
1306
00:47:01.639 --> 00:47:02.300
No, it's been too long.
1307
00:47:02.389 --> 00:47:03.269
It has been too long.
1308
00:47:03.710 --> 00:47:06.289
Do you like your life? Are you a happy fellow?
1309
00:47:06.469 --> 00:47:08.130
I'm a happy man. Are you a happy man, Kona?
1310
00:47:08.210 --> 00:47:08.849
I'm concerned.
1311
00:47:08.869 --> 00:47:10.650
God, he's so good at turning it back on me
1312
00:47:10.849 --> 00:47:13.369
all the time. Yes, I'm a very happy person. Oh,
1313
00:47:13.769 --> 00:47:17.389
you're reflecting back on me with your shiny... Gluten pouch.
1314
00:47:17.409 --> 00:47:19.369
My gluten pouch. Meine Bauchtasche, ja.
1315
00:47:20.489 --> 00:47:21.349
I am a happy man.
1316
00:47:21.510 --> 00:47:21.809
Okay.
1317
00:47:21.989 --> 00:47:22.670
I believe I am.
1318
00:47:22.869 --> 00:47:25.860
You've had some recent, very exciting news. I don't know
1319
00:47:25.880 --> 00:47:27.679
when this is airing. They were recent to me.
1320
00:47:28.000 --> 00:47:29.360
This won't air. You'll never hear this.
1321
00:47:29.400 --> 00:47:29.699
Oh, great.
1322
00:47:29.719 --> 00:47:31.699
I will bury this. This will be put into deep,
1323
00:47:32.260 --> 00:47:34.219
into a salt mine in Utah.
1324
00:47:34.400 --> 00:47:35.699
You recently, oh, where?
1325
00:47:35.719 --> 00:47:39.960
Provo? Don't you ever look at me and say Provo.
1326
00:47:40.000 --> 00:47:40.699
I'm so sorry.
1327
00:47:40.880 --> 00:47:41.280
I cannot.
1328
00:47:41.320 --> 00:47:43.179
The one thing I will not have is someone yelling
1329
00:47:43.260 --> 00:47:46.559
Provo at me in a German accent. It's your safe word. Yes,
1330
00:47:46.739 --> 00:47:48.340
I've had a good year. I've had a good run.
1331
00:47:48.960 --> 00:47:52.159
You won Marcus Twain. You won an award, mate.
1332
00:47:52.780 --> 00:47:56.019
Mark Twain. He's a famous American humorist.
1333
00:47:56.039 --> 00:47:56.360
Anarchist?
1334
00:47:56.659 --> 00:47:56.739
Oh.
1335
00:47:57.000 --> 00:48:00.199
No, he's not an anarchist. He was an American humorist,
1336
00:48:00.260 --> 00:48:02.280
and it's a very nice thing that happened. I was
1337
00:48:02.360 --> 00:48:05.469
honored by my fellow members of the comedian community.
1338
00:48:05.610 --> 00:48:06.090
Oh, wonderful.
1339
00:48:06.119 --> 00:48:08.809
The CC. So it's not a man that invented twine
1340
00:48:09.210 --> 00:48:11.550
like Alfred Nobel invented dynamite?
1341
00:48:11.909 --> 00:48:16.010
No, no. And using your logic, Alfred Nobel would have
1342
00:48:16.050 --> 00:48:20.079
invented Nobel. So you're an idiot. Oh, which is a
1343
00:48:20.340 --> 00:48:23.719
book that is much shorter. It's half of a novel. Okay.
1344
00:48:24.500 --> 00:48:26.539
Why speak to you, I guess, is the question. Or
1345
00:48:26.579 --> 00:48:29.699
why even continue? You, yes, you brought up, I've had
1346
00:48:29.739 --> 00:48:31.610
some good fortune lately, but no one wants to hear
1347
00:48:31.630 --> 00:48:33.960
about me. They want to hear it. They want to
1348
00:48:33.980 --> 00:48:37.269
hear about Flula Borg, a man who grew up in, where.
1349
00:48:37.150 --> 00:48:37.570
Is it called?
1350
00:48:37.710 --> 00:48:38.010
Erlangen.
1351
00:48:38.389 --> 00:48:40.230
Oh, no, I like your guess. What was your guess?
1352
00:48:40.289 --> 00:48:41.409
Greben. Grebenheiden.
1353
00:48:41.510 --> 00:48:42.429
Grebenheiden, yeah.
1354
00:48:42.510 --> 00:48:43.809
You grew up in a small village.
1355
00:48:43.989 --> 00:48:44.510
Grebenheiden.
1356
00:48:44.590 --> 00:48:46.610
Where not only are the shoes wooden, but all the
1357
00:48:46.650 --> 00:48:47.210
clothes are wooden.
1358
00:48:47.269 --> 00:48:49.409
And all the heidens are greben. Yeah.
1359
00:48:49.469 --> 00:48:53.289
Greben and schluden. And you decided one day you would
1360
00:48:53.309 --> 00:48:54.889
leave your father's cuckoo clock factory.
1361
00:48:55.269 --> 00:48:57.590
I said bye-bye to you, birds rotating in a circle.
1362
00:48:58.530 --> 00:49:00.469
And you said, I will come to America and find
1363
00:49:00.510 --> 00:49:01.010
my future.
1364
00:49:01.150 --> 00:49:02.159
Those are my exact words.
1365
00:49:02.260 --> 00:49:04.030
Yes. And then you said, I hope I have enough.
1366
00:49:04.139 --> 00:49:05.440
And you lurched into your pockets.
1367
00:49:05.579 --> 00:49:05.769
And I did.
1368
00:49:06.139 --> 00:49:09.059
And you had some rare coins, some wheat coins.
1369
00:49:09.079 --> 00:49:10.099
Some wheat kind of full of shafts.
1370
00:49:10.300 --> 00:49:13.309
Yes. Reach down into that deep pocket of yours.
1371
00:49:13.369 --> 00:49:14.050
Yes, it's so deep.
1372
00:49:14.230 --> 00:49:17.510
Shafts of wheat. And then you also, there was probably
1373
00:49:18.070 --> 00:49:20.409
a hazelnut in there, a little treat. You know it.
1374
00:49:21.179 --> 00:49:24.550
Of course. And then you took a boat, I believe,
1375
00:49:24.570 --> 00:49:25.329
to come to this country.
1376
00:49:25.389 --> 00:49:25.610
I did.
1377
00:49:25.630 --> 00:49:28.210
There were several planes available, but I selected a boat.
1378
00:49:28.869 --> 00:49:29.369
A boat.
1379
00:49:29.449 --> 00:49:30.449
A boat, yes. A boat.
1380
00:49:30.610 --> 00:49:32.909
And then I accidentally won a hype man contest. And
1381
00:49:32.929 --> 00:49:35.030
then that was my decision to come here and do
1382
00:49:35.150 --> 00:49:36.969
a professional thing called whatever this is.
1383
00:49:37.170 --> 00:49:39.510
Yeah. You, I would imagine, would be a great hype man.
1384
00:49:39.530 --> 00:49:40.400
Don't you think you'd be the best hype man?
1385
00:49:40.409 --> 00:49:41.070
I think so, yeah.
1386
00:49:41.190 --> 00:49:42.550
Can I hear some of your hype man that you
1387
00:49:42.570 --> 00:49:43.090
do in the clubs?
1388
00:49:43.199 --> 00:49:45.860
Hey, everyone, it's me, Flew Le Bourg. Welcome to your concert.
1389
00:49:46.550 --> 00:49:48.869
If you're excited, raise one or both of your hands
1390
00:49:49.210 --> 00:49:51.190
if you have two. If you only have one, then
1391
00:49:51.250 --> 00:49:55.269
raise one. If you have no hands, oops. You shouldn't
1392
00:49:55.289 --> 00:49:56.269
have worked in that factory.
1393
00:49:56.289 --> 00:49:59.190
Yes. You know, you were my hype man because I
1394
00:49:59.190 --> 00:50:02.130
did a tour a couple of years ago, a bunch
1395
00:50:02.150 --> 00:50:04.550
of very funny comedians. And me.
1396
00:50:05.190 --> 00:50:05.489
No, no.
1397
00:50:05.670 --> 00:50:09.369
You were hilarious, but you would also be a bit
1398
00:50:09.389 --> 00:50:10.670
of a hype man for me. Yes.
1399
00:50:10.769 --> 00:50:13.090
I was very supportive of your journey as a stand-up
1400
00:50:13.159 --> 00:50:14.489
comic comedian man.
1401
00:50:14.679 --> 00:50:14.800
Mm-hmm.
1402
00:50:15.420 --> 00:50:17.840
And also you would do the crowd work. You would
1403
00:50:17.860 --> 00:50:19.750
go into the crowd with a microphone so that people
1404
00:50:19.769 --> 00:50:20.590
could ask me questions.
1405
00:50:20.769 --> 00:50:21.829
I did. I did.
1406
00:50:22.070 --> 00:50:25.230
And my favorite thing is whenever you tripped or had
1407
00:50:25.349 --> 00:50:28.809
trouble making your way through the crowd, you'd go, Scheitzer, Scheitzer, Scheitzer,
1408
00:50:28.869 --> 00:50:31.010
which is a shit. But it just always cracked me up.
1409
00:50:31.409 --> 00:50:33.030
Accurate. It happened all the time.
1410
00:50:33.179 --> 00:50:33.380
Yes.
1411
00:50:33.409 --> 00:50:34.739
I'm very uncoordinated.
1412
00:50:34.960 --> 00:50:35.159
Yeah.
1413
00:50:35.699 --> 00:50:36.639
That means you have no accordion.
1414
00:50:36.800 --> 00:50:38.599
Yes, exactly. Accordion free since 83.
1415
00:50:38.579 --> 00:50:38.760
Okay.
1416
00:50:38.780 --> 00:50:39.179
I hate it.
1417
00:50:41.579 --> 00:50:43.530
I don't know. This is either a very good episode.
1418
00:50:43.550 --> 00:50:47.409
No, it's the worst episode. I now play trombone, Conan. Trombone.
1419
00:50:47.489 --> 00:50:49.670
I've released a children's album.
1420
00:50:50.050 --> 00:50:50.429
You have?
1421
00:50:50.469 --> 00:50:52.039
Yeah, it's called, you know.
1422
00:50:52.900 --> 00:50:55.440
No, I don't know. I don't know what it's called.
1423
00:50:55.599 --> 00:50:56.920
Oh, it's Slippery When Peeled.
1424
00:50:56.940 --> 00:50:57.400
Okay, you.
1425
00:50:59.760 --> 00:51:01.340
You should be detained by authorities.
1426
00:51:01.440 --> 00:51:02.159
I look forward to it.
1427
00:51:02.179 --> 00:51:04.239
When was the last time someone looked at your papers
1428
00:51:04.699 --> 00:51:06.699
and decided whether you should stay or not? Because that's,
1429
00:51:06.800 --> 00:51:08.789
you know, that's a thing that's real thing that's happening now.
1430
00:51:09.250 --> 00:51:11.349
And I think we should look at your papers.
1431
00:51:11.429 --> 00:51:13.349
Well, thank God I have just a passport, which is
1432
00:51:13.409 --> 00:51:16.289
just a book. So the papers I don't bring out
1433
00:51:16.369 --> 00:51:18.679
with me anymore. Also, I'm going to make a stand-up
1434
00:51:18.699 --> 00:51:19.300
comedy special.
1435
00:51:19.400 --> 00:51:20.980
Oh, when's that coming out?
1436
00:51:21.000 --> 00:51:21.599
I don't know.
1437
00:51:22.559 --> 00:51:25.210
You're very good at plugging things, aren't you? When's your
1438
00:51:25.230 --> 00:51:25.769
special coming out?
1439
00:51:26.429 --> 00:51:28.420
In the future, Conan. I will tell you all about it.
1440
00:51:28.690 --> 00:51:29.489
Okay, well, you'll be back.
1441
00:51:29.829 --> 00:51:33.349
Oh, okay, great. Does that red light we can stop mean?
1442
00:51:33.610 --> 00:51:37.059
No, that means we've reached the one-third point.
1443
00:51:37.199 --> 00:51:40.139
We still have two-thirds of that? So we have two
1444
00:51:40.199 --> 00:51:42.300
sections equal in size to the last section?
1445
00:51:42.500 --> 00:51:42.760
Yes.
1446
00:51:42.780 --> 00:51:44.099
It's like a hockey game.
1447
00:51:44.320 --> 00:51:47.639
Yes, exactly. Now we have to do, if that was...
1448
00:51:47.460 --> 00:51:51.639
40 minutes. We have to now do 80 minutes of
1449
00:51:52.179 --> 00:51:55.599
inventing German words like Aufengleider.
1450
00:51:55.739 --> 00:51:58.510
Yeah, so Aufengleider is a very interesting thing. It's what
1451
00:51:58.530 --> 00:52:01.030
you use to hang certain sized jeans.
1452
00:52:01.469 --> 00:52:01.969
Really?
1453
00:52:02.469 --> 00:52:05.090
You know, you told me that I take stabs at
1454
00:52:05.130 --> 00:52:07.409
German words and that occasionally it's a real word or
1455
00:52:07.510 --> 00:52:08.329
almost a real word.
1456
00:52:08.429 --> 00:52:11.190
Yeah, Augengleider is what kind of what you said, which
1457
00:52:11.230 --> 00:52:12.590
is like an eye smoothie.
1458
00:52:14.409 --> 00:52:15.489
Smoothie made of eyes?
1459
00:52:15.570 --> 00:52:16.449
I don't know. You said it.
1460
00:52:20.300 --> 00:52:22.860
Flula, what's next for you? What are you working on now?
1461
00:52:22.920 --> 00:52:25.010
Because I know you have a fan base. People want
1462
00:52:25.030 --> 00:52:27.469
to see what you're doing. What's coming up for Flula Borg?
1463
00:52:27.489 --> 00:52:30.409
Are you going to be in a movie, a television show?
1464
00:52:30.449 --> 00:52:33.030
Are you doing a show anywhere? How can I get
1465
00:52:33.070 --> 00:52:34.349
the word out about Flula Borg?
1466
00:52:34.550 --> 00:52:38.559
Thank you for this very long question, which included several guesses. Conan,
1467
00:52:38.619 --> 00:52:41.099
I will be in a movie called Champagne Problems on Netflix.
1468
00:52:41.159 --> 00:52:42.219
It is a Christmas rom-com.
1469
00:52:42.570 --> 00:52:45.230
Hey, that's great. Champagne Problems. Who are you in that with?
1470
00:52:45.730 --> 00:52:47.269
I'm also in it with Minka Kelly.
1471
00:52:47.630 --> 00:52:48.699
Oh, I love Minka Kelly.
1472
00:52:48.880 --> 00:52:49.760
Yes, and others.
1473
00:52:52.269 --> 00:52:54.949
You're going to get an angry message from and others.
1474
00:52:54.969 --> 00:52:55.409
From who?
1475
00:52:55.449 --> 00:52:56.489
We don't know. Yeah.
1476
00:52:57.809 --> 00:53:01.159
And looking forward to that. You enjoy the acting.
1477
00:53:01.599 --> 00:53:03.320
I enjoy to act very much, Conan. It's a nice
1478
00:53:03.340 --> 00:53:05.340
way to escape into something and say bye bye and
1479
00:53:05.360 --> 00:53:08.940
then come out and say hello. Have you seen Shawshank Redemption?
1480
00:53:08.980 --> 00:53:09.460
Yes, I have.
1481
00:53:09.679 --> 00:53:10.480
It's a wonderful film.
1482
00:53:11.159 --> 00:53:12.420
Now you're promoting Shawshank Redemption.
1483
00:53:12.460 --> 00:53:13.019
Have you seen it?
1484
00:53:13.480 --> 00:53:15.090
Yes, I have. Oh, many times.
1485
00:53:15.110 --> 00:53:16.769
Tijuana Nejo. Tijuana Nejo?
1486
00:53:17.170 --> 00:53:18.030
Tijuana Nejo, yes.
1487
00:53:18.070 --> 00:53:18.829
Tijuana Nejo.
1488
00:53:18.849 --> 00:53:20.250
Yes, yes, in Mexico.
1489
00:53:20.530 --> 00:53:22.730
I support Morgan Freeman as an actor. I think he's
1490
00:53:22.769 --> 00:53:23.489
very talented.
1491
00:53:24.170 --> 00:53:26.369
Well, you know, it's been debated whether he should be
1492
00:53:26.389 --> 00:53:29.690
allowed to act, and your support will be a key factor.
1493
00:53:31.269 --> 00:53:31.590
Vote.
1494
00:53:31.869 --> 00:53:32.150
Vote.
1495
00:53:32.530 --> 00:53:32.849
Vote.
1496
00:53:33.150 --> 00:53:35.099
Vote, yes. Vote, yes.
1497
00:53:35.320 --> 00:53:36.840
If I could stop you, Flula, I would.
1498
00:53:36.920 --> 00:53:37.409
Please do it.
1499
00:53:38.380 --> 00:53:41.239
But I think you're unstoppable. You're an unstoppable force of nature.
1500
00:53:41.380 --> 00:53:43.860
That's only because I outweigh you by 13 kilograms.
1501
00:53:46.750 --> 00:53:48.869
Flula, I thank you for being here.
1502
00:53:49.630 --> 00:53:52.170
I apologize for all the minutes we spent together. We
1503
00:53:52.190 --> 00:53:53.239
can never have those back.
1504
00:53:56.849 --> 00:53:58.949
I adore you. I'm going to say that in all seriousness.
1505
00:53:58.989 --> 00:54:00.610
I'm going to look you in the eye, Flula.
1506
00:54:00.789 --> 00:54:01.130
Thank you.
1507
00:54:01.210 --> 00:54:05.849
And say that whatever you're selling, I am buying because
1508
00:54:06.429 --> 00:54:09.630
you are hilarious, hilarious gentlemen, and I really enjoy you.
1509
00:54:09.929 --> 00:54:12.130
Likewise, Conan. Thank you for having me and letting me
1510
00:54:12.170 --> 00:54:14.969
join this table. Everyone now making eye contact as if
1511
00:54:15.010 --> 00:54:17.619
we are drinking beverages, which is very important when you cheers.
1512
00:54:17.960 --> 00:54:18.219
Yes.
1513
00:54:18.500 --> 00:54:21.659
Ruel, that's one thing to remember, listeners of CONAF. Available
1514
00:54:21.719 --> 00:54:23.300
wherever podcasts are located.
1515
00:54:24.139 --> 00:54:25.719
Okay, now I feel like I'm being mocked.
1516
00:54:25.940 --> 00:54:26.079
What?
1517
00:54:26.099 --> 00:54:26.599
This is over.
1518
00:54:26.780 --> 00:54:29.199
No, I'm promoting your show to ensure its longevity.
1519
00:54:29.320 --> 00:54:31.820
Do we have security? Can someone escort him out? Oh,
1520
00:54:31.860 --> 00:54:33.940
you're going to do it, Eduardo? Please do it. This
1521
00:54:33.980 --> 00:54:35.699
guy's going to toss you around like a rag doll.
1522
00:54:35.800 --> 00:54:36.159
Hot.
1523
00:54:37.030 --> 00:54:37.610
Get out!
1524
00:54:38.619 --> 00:54:39.150
Get out!
1525
00:54:39.230 --> 00:54:40.010
Okay, I'm leaving.
1526
00:54:40.489 --> 00:54:41.030
Bye!
1527
00:54:42.650 --> 00:54:46.389
Put in some footsteps. And now, Matthias, can you add
1528
00:54:46.429 --> 00:54:47.690
some going downstairs sounds?
1529
00:54:47.789 --> 00:54:47.969
Yeah.
1530
00:54:48.369 --> 00:54:49.590
Oh, I forgot my fanny pack.
1531
00:54:53.920 --> 00:54:59.590
Ooh, that's kind of sexy. Bye again. And then more, yeah.
1532
00:55:00.400 --> 00:55:01.480
He's done it for us.
1533
00:55:02.039 --> 00:55:02.400
Jesus.
1534
00:55:13.340 --> 00:55:14.909
Good nights are about the people.
1535
00:55:15.750 --> 00:55:16.210
The laughs.
1536
00:55:16.730 --> 00:55:19.489
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1537
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You should not use this product if you do not
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already use nicotine.
1544
00:55:41.900 --> 00:55:49.280
Wake up. Wait. Kettle on. Wait. Toast. Wait. Train station. Wait.
1545
00:55:49.880 --> 00:55:55.320
Pay slip. Wait. Promotion. Wait. Retire. Wait.
1546
00:55:55.960 --> 00:55:59.320
We spend our whole lives waiting. And when it comes
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00:55:59.380 --> 00:56:01.559
to banking, we've waited long enough.
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Monzo.
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A new era of banking. Monzo Bank Europe DAC, trading
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as Monzo, is regulated by the Central Bank of Ireland.
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T's and C's apply.
1552
00:56:11.070 --> 00:56:11.829
How was school today?
1553
00:56:12.840 --> 00:56:15.380
Ah, you know, football training, lunch with the lads.
1554
00:56:16.079 --> 00:56:17.760
Oh, and I have that art project to finish.
1555
00:56:18.380 --> 00:56:20.860
We all know that school days are filled with learning,
1556
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social development and fun. But one in five young people
1557
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are missing a month or more of their school year.
1558
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And when they miss school, they miss out. Which can
1559
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impact exam results and well-being later on. Every school day
1560
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is a new day. Visit gov.ie forward slash school attendance.
1561
00:56:37.429 --> 00:56:38.849
An initiative of the Government of Ireland.
1562
00:56:45.940 --> 00:56:48.010
It's tradition that we have Flula sit in for the
1563
00:56:48.050 --> 00:56:50.050
third act segment here on the podcast.
1564
00:56:50.230 --> 00:56:52.250
He is such a good guest. I enjoy him so much.
1565
00:56:52.269 --> 00:56:55.289
I always say, why would we have him leave.
1566
00:56:55.230 --> 00:56:58.429
When he has nothing else going on professionally? Well, I checked.
1567
00:56:58.449 --> 00:57:01.039
You have no automobile. I don't. And you have.
1568
00:57:01.360 --> 00:57:02.920
I'm a pedestrian through and through.
1569
00:57:02.980 --> 00:57:03.199
Yes.
1570
00:57:03.340 --> 00:57:04.719
And I don't think you have an apartment.
1571
00:57:04.800 --> 00:57:05.360
I refuse one.
1572
00:57:06.130 --> 00:57:08.329
So anyway, he's going to help us out today. And
1573
00:57:08.349 --> 00:57:08.809
what are we doing?
1574
00:57:08.909 --> 00:57:10.530
Well, we're going to do a Review the Reviewers where
1575
00:57:10.570 --> 00:57:13.030
we go to Apple Podcasts and we find a review
1576
00:57:13.150 --> 00:57:15.389
and we read it. And we kind of comment on
1577
00:57:15.409 --> 00:57:17.449
the review that's commenting on this show. So you can
1578
00:57:17.489 --> 00:57:19.510
join us for any opinions or any thoughts you have
1579
00:57:19.590 --> 00:57:19.849
on this.
1580
00:57:19.889 --> 00:57:21.369
I may offer feedback to the feedback.
1581
00:57:21.550 --> 00:57:21.889
Exactly.
1582
00:57:21.929 --> 00:57:22.389
So many.
1583
00:57:22.510 --> 00:57:24.989
Or you may have thoughts about how this podcast could
1584
00:57:25.030 --> 00:57:26.889
be improved. I'm just assuming you're a huge fan.
1585
00:57:27.369 --> 00:57:30.030
This is from listener KP in the Boston area.
1586
00:57:30.250 --> 00:57:32.030
Five stars. Christoph Sposingas.
1587
00:57:32.230 --> 00:57:32.599
You know him?
1588
00:57:32.610 --> 00:57:33.469
Yes.
1589
00:57:33.570 --> 00:57:34.300
Okay.
1590
00:57:34.530 --> 00:57:38.170
Yep. Title, best podcast to listen to during an MRI.
1591
00:57:38.449 --> 00:57:39.690
Oh, I didn't know he was injured.
1592
00:57:41.309 --> 00:57:43.110
I'm sorry you had to find out this way.
1593
00:57:43.269 --> 00:57:45.090
You need to check up on your friends a little more.
1594
00:57:45.289 --> 00:57:46.809
I feel very bad. Sorry about that, Kristaps.
1595
00:57:48.630 --> 00:57:50.849
I had an MRI recently, and the technician offered to
1596
00:57:50.889 --> 00:57:53.179
let me listen to music on the provided headphones during
1597
00:57:53.199 --> 00:57:56.159
the procedure. I immediately asked if the Conan O'Brien Needs
1598
00:57:56.199 --> 00:57:59.079
a Friend podcast was available, and it was. Really helped
1599
00:57:59.119 --> 00:58:01.099
keep my mind off the loud sounds of the MRI
1600
00:58:01.139 --> 00:58:04.380
machine and claustrophobia. As I left the appointment, the text said,
1601
00:58:04.400 --> 00:58:06.900
I did great. And after a pause, he added, no
1602
00:58:06.960 --> 00:58:10.369
one's ever requested Conan. Well, I say that more people should.
1603
00:58:10.630 --> 00:58:13.170
Awesome podcast. I love you guys, and I'm sending extra
1604
00:58:13.210 --> 00:58:14.849
love and support to Sona and her family.
1605
00:58:15.070 --> 00:58:15.449
Hugs.
1606
00:58:16.090 --> 00:58:17.309
Oh, that's very sweet.
1607
00:58:17.349 --> 00:58:20.070
That's very sweet. My first question would be, I would
1608
00:58:20.110 --> 00:58:24.329
love to watch the images of a brain that's listening
1609
00:58:24.389 --> 00:58:27.659
to this podcast. What happens to the human brain?
1610
00:58:27.739 --> 00:58:28.760
Just a flat line.
1611
00:58:30.719 --> 00:58:33.449
It might be. I don't know. They might start to
1612
00:58:33.510 --> 00:58:35.860
see areas of the brain light up that aren't supposed
1613
00:58:35.900 --> 00:58:36.380
to light up.
1614
00:58:36.519 --> 00:58:38.659
This is kind of insulting.
1615
00:58:39.019 --> 00:58:39.219
Why?
1616
00:58:39.320 --> 00:58:41.539
If I'm going to be honest, because you have to
1617
00:58:41.579 --> 00:58:45.579
be extremely still in an MRI, which means this person
1618
00:58:45.639 --> 00:58:47.659
wasn't even giggling a little bit.
1619
00:58:47.800 --> 00:58:47.980
Yes.
1620
00:58:48.139 --> 00:58:52.099
Well, we don't know that. Maybe, maybe, maybe this person
1621
00:58:52.119 --> 00:58:55.219
was laughing really hard. Their head was moving around and
1622
00:58:55.239 --> 00:58:56.969
they didn't get a really good scan.
1623
00:58:58.070 --> 00:59:00.860
Well, the technician said that the person did great.
1624
00:59:01.030 --> 00:59:04.139
Do you think that technician cares? You have a point.
1625
00:59:04.239 --> 00:59:06.019
No. You do have a point.
1626
00:59:06.800 --> 00:59:07.989
The technician said that.
1627
00:59:08.030 --> 00:59:09.750
This guy was lulled to sleep.
1628
00:59:10.699 --> 00:59:11.800
By this podcast.
1629
00:59:11.820 --> 00:59:14.079
Shit, I didn't think about that.
1630
00:59:14.139 --> 00:59:16.000
The calmest patient he's ever had.
1631
00:59:16.119 --> 00:59:17.599
He said, I've never seen someone.
1632
00:59:17.619 --> 00:59:20.360
I hear they've been playing this podcast during massages at
1633
00:59:20.440 --> 00:59:22.400
massage parlors and spas.
1634
00:59:23.119 --> 00:59:25.420
You know, I've heard that they play our podcast when
1635
00:59:25.440 --> 00:59:27.119
someone's having eye surgery.
1636
00:59:27.300 --> 00:59:27.380
Oh.
1637
00:59:28.250 --> 00:59:32.309
And if they move even a millimeter, they'll be blinded
1638
00:59:32.369 --> 00:59:36.530
for life. And they say people were just completely rigid, unmoving,
1639
00:59:36.820 --> 00:59:37.840
and almost frozen.
1640
00:59:37.860 --> 00:59:39.400
Did you hear in the new Mission Impossible, when he's
1641
00:59:39.420 --> 00:59:41.340
diffusing a bomb, he requests our podcast?
1642
00:59:41.420 --> 00:59:41.539
Yes.
1643
00:59:43.500 --> 00:59:44.159
Let's play season three.
1644
00:59:44.179 --> 00:59:47.059
Tom Cruise's hand is shaking just slightly and.
1645
00:59:46.860 --> 00:59:54.789
He goes, play something!
1646
00:59:56.010 --> 01:00:00.750
And disengaged. Wow. You defused the bomb at 35 seconds.
1647
01:00:01.170 --> 01:00:06.199
Not the required one second left for most action movies. Thanks, Conan.
1648
01:00:08.860 --> 01:00:12.349
You know what? That's terribly insulting. I... I took it
1649
01:00:12.369 --> 01:00:14.690
a different way. And then what I heard that you
1650
01:00:14.710 --> 01:00:16.730
didn't hear is no one ever asked for Conan.
1651
01:00:17.110 --> 01:00:18.139
Oh, that's true.
1652
01:00:18.380 --> 01:00:18.989
That's the part I heard.
1653
01:00:19.010 --> 01:00:21.179
I think they're used to getting music. So maybe you're
1654
01:00:21.199 --> 01:00:22.019
the first ever podcast.
1655
01:00:22.059 --> 01:00:23.699
I might be the first podcast. I might be the
1656
01:00:23.760 --> 01:00:26.460
first podcast that's been listened to during an MRI. You
1657
01:00:26.480 --> 01:00:27.340
know what that stands for?
1658
01:00:27.360 --> 01:00:28.800
Yes, Portland Trailblazers.
1659
01:00:28.940 --> 01:00:31.260
Okay. You need an MRI.
1660
01:00:31.639 --> 01:00:32.079
Definitely.
1661
01:00:32.199 --> 01:00:37.380
Yes. Have you had a checkup recently, Fula?
1662
01:00:37.519 --> 01:00:39.300
I'm having a dentist appointment tomorrow.
1663
01:00:39.510 --> 01:00:39.889
Okay.
1664
01:00:39.989 --> 01:00:41.530
Shall I request a Marie?
1665
01:00:41.809 --> 01:00:45.570
Yes, you should. I would be fascinated to find out
1666
01:00:45.590 --> 01:00:47.960
what would happen if they looked... if they could get
1667
01:00:48.039 --> 01:00:50.960
inside your mind and look at it, I bet it
1668
01:00:50.980 --> 01:00:52.860
would be just a lot of little gears made of
1669
01:00:52.940 --> 01:00:54.070
chocolate turning around.
1670
01:00:54.090 --> 01:00:56.210
Both of you guys, like that exchange you had during
1671
01:00:56.250 --> 01:00:58.250
the earlier interview, if you were both hooked up to
1672
01:00:58.409 --> 01:00:59.210
MRIs during that.
1673
01:00:59.269 --> 01:01:01.190
I think the MRIs would get up and leave. Yes.
1674
01:01:01.670 --> 01:01:03.849
They'd be like the two grumpy men in the Muppets.
1675
01:01:03.989 --> 01:01:04.949
Just leave.
1676
01:01:05.659 --> 01:01:07.179
Jack Lemmon and Walter Matthau.
1677
01:01:09.110 --> 01:01:10.070
Yes. Okay.
1678
01:01:10.150 --> 01:01:11.289
Grumpy old MRIs.
1679
01:01:11.309 --> 01:01:12.869
Yes.
1680
01:01:14.159 --> 01:01:18.000
So we think that this guy was very still and
1681
01:01:18.019 --> 01:01:19.519
didn't laugh at all during the MRI.
1682
01:01:19.539 --> 01:01:20.079
Correct. Yes.
1683
01:01:20.260 --> 01:01:21.659
They have to be very still.
1684
01:01:21.679 --> 01:01:24.139
Hey, maybe it was one of those really serious podcasts
1685
01:01:24.179 --> 01:01:24.960
they do.
1686
01:01:24.980 --> 01:01:26.869
Don't you do an ASMR episode once a week?
1687
01:01:27.769 --> 01:01:28.090
No.
1688
01:01:29.070 --> 01:01:31.050
That's me trying to be funny. Oh, that's what that is.
1689
01:01:31.150 --> 01:01:31.389
Yeah.
1690
01:01:31.409 --> 01:01:31.469
No.
1691
01:01:34.530 --> 01:01:37.239
Eduardo, cut.
1692
01:01:38.579 --> 01:01:38.900
No.
1693
01:01:40.119 --> 01:01:42.179
So you often listen to my podcast and think I'm
1694
01:01:42.219 --> 01:01:43.699
just trying to make noises.
1695
01:01:43.760 --> 01:01:45.840
When I have insomnia, it sounds like you're trying to
1696
01:01:45.940 --> 01:01:50.469
open a bag of Skittles. Then I'm out.
1697
01:01:50.570 --> 01:01:54.969
That's me talking to Jeff Garlin. Oh, that's what that was?
1698
01:01:55.030 --> 01:01:56.429
That is literally white noise.
1699
01:01:56.550 --> 01:02:01.690
It does work. A bag of Skittles. I love the
1700
01:02:01.730 --> 01:02:02.510
way you say things.
1701
01:02:03.050 --> 01:02:03.570
Oh, thank you.
1702
01:02:03.590 --> 01:02:05.849
Things. You enhance words.
1703
01:02:05.929 --> 01:02:06.630
Things, yes.
1704
01:02:06.650 --> 01:02:08.820
No, just in general. I love the way you speak.
1705
01:02:08.840 --> 01:02:09.840
You know what I'm talking about, Sona. I do.
1706
01:02:09.900 --> 01:02:10.420
It's cool.
1707
01:02:10.659 --> 01:02:10.960
I like it.
1708
01:02:10.960 --> 01:02:13.000
I heard you say it when I said boat. Boat.
1709
01:02:13.239 --> 01:02:14.159
When you say boat.
1710
01:02:14.360 --> 01:02:14.820
Boat, yes.
1711
01:02:14.860 --> 01:02:15.519
I just love it.
1712
01:02:15.960 --> 01:02:17.199
We're going to need a bigger boat.
1713
01:02:17.619 --> 01:02:18.400
Yes. Jaws.
1714
01:02:18.500 --> 01:02:19.820
Friends have filmed the mouth.
1715
01:02:20.119 --> 01:02:23.110
No, it's called Jaws. Not the mouth.
1716
01:02:24.010 --> 01:02:24.630
It's Jaws.
1717
01:02:24.929 --> 01:02:25.289
Okay.
1718
01:02:27.059 --> 01:02:32.360
What do you call E.T.? What? Weird guy. Okay, weird guy.
1719
01:02:34.099 --> 01:02:37.940
Weird guy. I think weird guy is just as good.
1720
01:02:37.960 --> 01:02:41.000
Weird guy is just as good as E.T.
1721
01:02:41.199 --> 01:02:42.280
Same syllable amount.
1722
01:02:42.659 --> 01:02:43.539
Well, okay, yes.
1723
01:02:43.579 --> 01:02:44.159
That's a good point.
1724
01:02:44.179 --> 01:02:46.280
Steven Spielberg's weird guy.
1725
01:02:46.860 --> 01:02:49.519
Steven Spielberg's weird guy. Seminal movie.
1726
01:02:49.599 --> 01:02:51.539
From the guy who brought you the mouth.
1727
01:02:51.619 --> 01:02:51.780
Yeah.
1728
01:02:53.960 --> 01:02:56.079
If you like the mouth, you'll love the weird guy.
1729
01:02:56.099 --> 01:02:57.679
What's Saving Private Ryan?
1730
01:02:57.699 --> 01:02:59.590
Watch out, here it comes.
1731
01:03:00.150 --> 01:03:00.809
It's just true.
1732
01:03:00.989 --> 01:03:01.969
It's just true. Close encounters.
1733
01:03:01.989 --> 01:03:03.150
Here they come, the Americans came.
1734
01:03:03.210 --> 01:03:03.389
Oh, yeah.
1735
01:03:03.409 --> 01:03:04.789
Close encounters of the third kind.
1736
01:03:04.909 --> 01:03:10.210
Oh, here they come again from outside. To the third degree.
1737
01:03:10.250 --> 01:03:11.210
To the third degree, yes.
1738
01:03:11.230 --> 01:03:12.070
Oh, my God.
1739
01:03:15.010 --> 01:03:18.389
Well, I think you would agree then. I mean, what
1740
01:03:18.440 --> 01:03:22.059
would your review of this podcast be? What would you say?
1741
01:03:22.079 --> 01:03:23.760
Would you give us five stars?
1742
01:03:24.340 --> 01:03:28.119
Yes. Dear Sona and Matt and Conan, I love very
1743
01:03:28.159 --> 01:03:31.139
much your cast of pods. It is what I listen
1744
01:03:31.179 --> 01:03:36.429
to during all of my surgeries, elective and otherwise. Please
1745
01:03:36.489 --> 01:03:39.389
keep up the silent, non-emotional work.
1746
01:03:39.710 --> 01:03:40.650
Thank you.
1747
01:03:41.469 --> 01:03:44.500
That's a wonderful review. Flula, thank you for joining us
1748
01:03:44.519 --> 01:03:45.340
for this segment.
1749
01:03:45.599 --> 01:03:47.460
Hey, thank you for having me for this segment as well.
1750
01:03:47.519 --> 01:03:49.300
Review the reviewers here on CONAF.
1751
01:03:49.320 --> 01:03:51.099
That's Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend.
1752
01:03:51.119 --> 01:03:51.559
Yes, of course.
1753
01:03:51.719 --> 01:03:52.099
Yes, yes.
1754
01:03:52.940 --> 01:03:55.090
Well, thank you once again, Flula. You're free to leave
1755
01:03:55.119 --> 01:03:57.090
and we'll add some sound effects of you leaving. Okay.
1756
01:03:57.409 --> 01:03:59.469
And this time in wooden clogs.
1757
01:03:59.670 --> 01:04:01.429
Yes, very German, sure.
1758
01:04:03.050 --> 01:04:03.530
Bye.
1759
01:04:03.550 --> 01:04:04.809
Oh, I thought we were doing it.
1760
01:04:04.809 --> 01:04:05.409
You did it. Nice.
1761
01:04:05.429 --> 01:04:06.170
But that was a horse.
1762
01:04:06.190 --> 01:04:06.550
No, it's good.
1763
01:04:06.570 --> 01:04:08.030
That means I don't have to do anything.
1764
01:04:08.070 --> 01:04:08.780
That was a horse.
1765
01:04:11.519 --> 01:04:15.280
Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend, with Conan O'Brien, Sonam Ovsessian,
1766
01:04:15.539 --> 01:04:19.650
and Matt Gourley. Produced by me, Matt Gourley. Executive produced
1767
01:04:19.710 --> 01:04:23.409
by Adam Sachs, Jeff Ross, and Nick Liao. Theme song
1768
01:04:23.449 --> 01:04:26.750
by The White Stripes. Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino.
1769
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Take it away, Jimmy.
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Our supervising producer is Aaron Blair. And our associate talent
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producer is Jennifer Samples. Engineering and mixing by Eduardo Perez
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and Brendan Burns. Additional production support by Mars Melnick. Talent
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booking by Paula Davis, Gina Batista, and Brit Kahn. You
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can rate and review this show on Apple Podcasts, and
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you might find your review read on a future episode.
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Got a question for Conan? Call the Team Coco hotline
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at 669-587-2847 and leave a message. It, too, could be
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featured on a future episode. You can also get three
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free months of SiriusXM when you sign up at SiriusXM.com
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slash Conan. And if you haven't already, please subscribe to
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Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend wherever fine podcasts are downloaded.
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Wake up, wait. Kettle on, wait. Toast, wait. Train station, wait.
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Pay slip? Wait. Promotion. Wait. Retire. Wait.
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We spend our whole lives waiting. And when it comes
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to banking, we've waited long enough.
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Monzo.
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A new era of banking. Monzo Bank Europe DAC, trading
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as Monzo, is regulated by the Central Bank of Ireland.
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T's and C's apply.
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How was school, Pat?
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We were learning all about France and Joan of Arc
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and the Eiffel Tower and how they speak.
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Bonjour, Mama!
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We all know how important school is for children's learning,
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friendships and overall development. But one in five children are
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missing a month or more of their school year. And
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when they miss school, they miss out. Every school day
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is a new day. Visit gov.ie forward slash school attendance.
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An initiative of the Government of Ireland.