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The following podcast is part of the Mind, Body, Spirit
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dot FM podcast network.
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Hello and welcome to Back in Control Radio with Doctor
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David Hanscombe.
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Hello everybody, welcome to another episode of Back in Control
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Radio with Doctor David Hanscombe. I'm your host, Tom Masters,
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and our guest today is Robert Paris. He's a master neuroplastician,
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founding fellow of the Institute for Applied and Organizational Neuroscience,
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author and leadership coach. He's the creator of the renew
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Process and author of the book You Versus Your Brain,
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Reclaiming Your Identity. For more than thirty years, Robert has
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helped leaders, teams, and individuals understand how the brain shapes
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their thoughts, emotion and behaviors, and how to create lasting
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change through neuroplasticity. His work focuses on helping people reclaim
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control of their minds, reduce suffering, and live more authentically. Welcome.
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Thank you, Tom. I'd like to introduce Robert Parris, who
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he and I have become good friends over many years.
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I first met him in Canada at my Scholis Research
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Society meetings. We met in a restaurant, talked for a while,
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and that's been a lot of years ago, Robert, and
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so it's been a lot of fun staying in touch
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and watching both of our processes evolved. But he's a
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master neuroplastician, founding fellow of the Institute for Applied and
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Organizational Neuroscience, author, leadership coach. He's a creator of renew
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process and author of You Versus Your Brain, Reclaiming Your Identity.
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For more than thirty years, Robert health leaders and teams
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understand the brain and what he's done is basically a
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lot of leadership work, and it's about authenticity and connection
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and a lot of people are coming around to this
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type of thinking, except Robert has been ahead of this
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for a very long time, so his processes are quite refined.
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He has lots of successes, and of course in the
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world right now, where there's so much chaos, leadership is
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really a key issue to look at. So Robert has
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a unique approach. We'll talk about today, and of course
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I always enjoy just catching up with them and Robert,
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welcome to the show.
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Thank you did David. As usual, it's great to talking
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to you and I really look forward to this.
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So anyway, it just gives a little background about what
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is a neuroplastician. How did you arrive to this point
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in life? And you know, neuroplasticity is a big deal,
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but let's start was just explaining what you described as
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a neuroplastician.
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Great neuralplasticition is basically what we do. We teach people
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how their brains work and then how to take control
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of their brains. But it's not theory. What we do
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is we take the theory and all the neuroscience behind it,
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and our job is to im practical terms, develop programs,
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coaching programs, leadership programs that people actually understand. So it's
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the practical application of the theory that we want to
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see people actually make changes in their behavior and how
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they act on a regular basis. So it's a relatively
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new discipline. I'm a master neuroplastician. There's fewer than one
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hundred in the world. But the results we're getting through
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our programs have been just fantastic.
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Yeah, I mean as well ahead of as time. I
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mean this is something where with our vision intelligence, especially
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the technology at the cellular and DNA level, and also
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with brain imaging, we're just getting a huge understanding the
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last ten years about how the brain works, but you're
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on this mode well before we do the technology that
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we know now, so the modern technology is really reinforcing.
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Would you already know? So you're so to become a
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nural plastician? What does that mean? I mean is it
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a course you take or a series of credentially or
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how do you become a nural plastician?
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Well, so what that happened was that there was a
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doctor JJ Kennedy who was kind of thinking about things
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that there's a ton of people talking about the brain.
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But as you and I both know, how many of
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them really know what they're talking about, and some of
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them it's even dangerous in terms of what they're saying.
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So doctor Kennedy basically said, we have to vet people,
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and that's what he did. So he founded the Institute
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for Applied and Organizational Neuroscience as a vetting mechanism. So
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he found me around three years ago on LinkedIn and
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he said, Wow, I'm fascinated by your work, and we
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went through a vetting process where A they kind of
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vetted that I know what I'm talking about about the brain.
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B what's really important is that I've actually or the
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individual has actually implemented programs that are brain based, which
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I have in terms of coaching, leadership development, team development,
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et cetera. But perhaps the most important part is number three,
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that you've actually gotten results, that you've changed people's lives
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with it. So went through a rather thorough vetting process,
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and there's three levels of a plasticition. There's kind of
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the associate, professional and Master, and much to my delight
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at the time was that they basically granted me the
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Master Neuralplastition title, and after I worked with them over
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the last couple of years, they granted me this fellowship
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to be a fellow part of the instaut to which
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I was actually quite thrilled about.
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It was a fellowship. Is that extra training or conversations
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or reading material? What when you become a master? What
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does that entail?
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Well, the Master is kind of again, as I said,
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proving that you've actually help people. But the fellowship is different,
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and that's a recognition that who's ever granted the title
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of fellow has actually taken a leadership role in the
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community right and again launched different programs, those kinds of things.
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So it's recognition of leadership within the community.
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Let's go back to the beginning before you started this
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whole process of the neuroscience of the brain, in creating
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leadership concepts through neuroscience. How did this start? I mean what,
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You've been at this for a while, but I'm curious,
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how did this all begin?
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Yeah, that's actually quite a story. I've been in the
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leadership business for probably fifteen years or so, and then
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one day I was reading an article about a field
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called neural leadership and it was about wow. I was
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teaching people how their brains work and how to use
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that to become better leaders, and I was fascinated. So
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I'm in the cold north. I'm in Montreal, and every
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winter we actually escape to the South and people liy
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on beaches in Florida and they're reading romance novels and
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mystery novels. I literally brought six books about the brain
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and there I was reading on I was taking the
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sun on the beach reading about the brain. People thought
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I was absolutely crazy, but David, I was hooked. I
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was absolutely hooked because I understood everything that we do,
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even when we sleep, is about the brain. So I
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became certified by the Neural Leadership Institute, which is the
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international certifying body for that in a tense eight month program,
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and I learned all of these technical concepts and took
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those again. My job was to create programs that the
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average person, the layman, can understand, and I started doing
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exactly that and getting just tremendous results.
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I get to tell a little story which my wife
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still makes fun of me. We've been together twenty six years,
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and we went down to Mexico within the first year relationship,
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to the beach and I you know those square briefcases
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that carry files. Yes, I would take an entire file
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holder down to the beach full of books. I mean,
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like eight books to the beach at the same time.
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And I still probably do more of that than I should,
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because I never really get them read. I might pick
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I mean, take it one would just be fine, But
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I'd take eight to ten books to the beach at
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a time, and I'm hauling in the baby suit hall
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in this huge briefcase. And it was ridiculous. But anyway,
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I understand where you're coming from. I actually my process
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started a fishing trip to Patagonia in twenty twenty, where
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I took a book down about the polyvagel theory, and
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it was down there at fishing by the side of
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the lakes where I understood the polyvagel theory. So don't
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you think that when you're in a relaxed state that
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your mind's more opened.
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Well, there's absolutely no question about it. And I actually
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love polyvagel theory. I know there's a lot of controversy,
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particularly within my community, saying is there really a science
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base fact to it? But I've used it with my
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clients for a long time and it really really to
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me helps it's an excellent model, if you will, or
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metaphor about the brain that basically talks about when you're
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in that calm state as opposed to the agitated state. Absolutely,
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you think more clearly. It's sort of linked to better
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mental and physical health, etc. So a lot of what
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we do is trying to calm down the nervous system
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and get people in that calm state to be their
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more natural self.
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Steve Port is a friend of mine and his wife'suit
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Card is also a close friend, and we started this
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study group inavertently in twenty twenty where during COVID we
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met every week, and then the last few years we
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meet twice a month. But my goodness, I don't think
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there's any two people on this planet that know nor
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know more about the body, physiology, brain, peptide, evolutionary biology
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than these two people. So I just had to let
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it go, sort of Steve where he gets attacked all
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the time. And you and I both know that the
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body is so complex, there's so much to know. To
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try to encapsulate it in a given theory makes no sense.
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So it's a great model for actually calming down and relaxing.
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And I know you already know this, but you know
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it's front of my dear class and point out that
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when you're anger and frustrated the blessed pod, your thinking
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brain drops down out. You simply cannot think clearly. We'll
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go into your leadership mode. The polybago theory is incredibly
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relevant because it's just physiology, not theoretical. This has now
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been proven on brain scans really clearly that when you're upset,
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the same thing with athletes and performers. You know, when
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they're upset, they don't do well. It's not because they
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don't want to and positive thinking doesn't work. But you've
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got to get your brain back online in order to
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function creatively. So creativity course is one of the basic
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goals of leadership. So let's take your process. Let's just
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talk about the neuroscience behind it, and then we talk
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about in the next podcast what you actually do with
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people with the programs are. But when you sit back
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and you're a neuroplastician, you're focused mostly on leadership. Correct, Yes,
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let me just start at the beginning. I come to you,
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I need some leadership skills, and what's the general flavor
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of what you're trying to accomplish with me?
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Great? Great, great question. So I've been, as I mentioned before,
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in leadership development for quite a while, and to me,
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there's always been a process about leadership kind of four stages.
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One is self leadership that you lead yourself. The second
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one is one on one leadership where you're coaching someone
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or mentoring someone and leading them. The third is team
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leadership where you're leading a team, and the fourth is
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organizational leadership, where you're leading the entire organization. And excuse me,
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there's a lot of leadership training that goes on to
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team leadership and organizational leadership that I say, if you
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can't lead yourself, then how can you lead other people?
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And when it comes to leading yourself, the reality is
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you have to understand your brain. You have to understand
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that you have a lot of subconsciously embedded stories or
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what I call deceptive messages, usually going back to childhood,
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that are driving your behavior and you're not aware of it. So,
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how can you become an effective leader when you have
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these messages and coping mechanisms that you used as a
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child but are still in your brain. How can you
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be that effective leader when you're letting these subconscious stories
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drive your behavior. So you're coming across as someone who's
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not authentic, you probably have a mask and armor on,
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and people see that they're not going to want to
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follow someone who has a fake identity. So a big
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part of my work through my new coaching process is
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to get them in touch with their real identity. And
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then once they do that, we kind of reprogram their
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brains in a way that they present their real, authentic
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self to the world. And we want to follow people
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who are authentic and real. And so that's become the
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cornerstone of my leadership development program.
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And what's the basic approach about how you do that?
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Because you know, I have this new book, you know,
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Calm your body, heal your mind, and it's a different
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take on what you already do. Whereas we get attached
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to our identity or labels, but we're not necessarily connected
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to who we are personally. And you made a concept
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that your thing is about your concept. Humans have a
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unique process called meta thinking where we actually can excuse me,
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we can actually think about thinking, and most other mammals, well,
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I don't think any other mammals can do that. Even
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though they have high level of intelligence, they can't really
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think about thinking. So you have this identity that's really
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a false identity, and there's actually who you are. What's
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your approach to get peop thinking about their thinking? What's
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that mean? Right?
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Well, it really is to get them to reflect on
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decisions they've made, not routine daily decisions, but big decisions
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they may have made professionally, maybe with their families and
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their communities, et cetera, and to think about it. So
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I'm going to give you an example. And again I'm
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a lot in the business world. So suppose I'm a
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mid manager and I'm doing a presentation to the executive
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team with PowerPoint and all that, and I make the
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presentation and let's say there's ten people on this executive team.
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Nine of them say Wow, what a great presentation, but
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one of them says, not so good. I go back
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to my office, right, and I ignore the nine positive
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and I start to reflect on and ruminate on the
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one negative one and it upsets me. Then it upsets
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me that evening the next day week after that as well.
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So I get them now a stop and think about that.
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You went back to your office. How did you come
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to the conclusion that you ignored your ninety percent of
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the feedback and focused in on the ten. So it's
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situations like that that we get people to reflect on.
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What's the story behind that number one and number two?
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Then what's the identity that's attached to your story that
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we can start beginning the process to build to get
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you in touch with your true authentic identity that we
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can eventually hardwire into your brain.
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Right. You know, we've talked about this before, but one
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of the benefits of being noted to your identity it
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doesn't get tossed around all the time. In other words,
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you get beyond being at the mercy of the people's opinions.
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And David Burns calls that, you know, minimizing the positive
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emphasize and the negative, which is a basic cognitive distortion.
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And so how do you do that? What's the technique?
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Do they go through a chorus? Do they do close
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on one on one? What kind of process would you
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take them through to separate that part of their identity
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or that reaction from what's real? I mean, what's real?
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It is nine percent of people like the process. So
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what is it in me that caused me to think
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that that? I can no nine percent of the positive
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focus on the one negative. And my wife is a
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tap dancer and the performance world, they would comment, which
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is really deadly, is that your performance is no better
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than your worst review. How negative is that? And of
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course there's a lot of mental anks amongst performers and
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their perfectionistic self critical And one of my wife's best friends,
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one of the best tap answers in the world, actually
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eventually died of chronic pain from that whole mindset because
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she was never good enough, perfectionistic and she had a
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normal spine. She went through every medical treatment you can imagine,
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inclining iOS, morphine, etc. Et cetera. She had a normal spine. Yeah,
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these thoughts of inadequacy just tortured her. So you're right.
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Unless you can lead yourself, you're going nowhere. So is
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this a course you put people through or is it
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you're one of on coaching that you have them think
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about what you're thinking? Or what would you do with me?
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Who might be more I might be less salvageable than most,
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but let's try me.
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I don't know about that. You're really on top of things.
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But it's really all of the above an answer to
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your question. So my core program is their new coaching process,
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which is a ten week program, and what we do
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there for the first three modules, if you were sessions,
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is that we educate people how their brains work. It
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amazes me, David, that the brain is the motor that
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drives us, but the average doesn't have a clue how
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their brain works. That will not in control of our brains,
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That our brains often work against our best interest, That
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our brains are highly emotional in nature, et cetera, et cetera.
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So we try to educate them because in sessions four, five, six,
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we get them to tell their authentic story with each
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other childhood, adolescent years, and adult years. And we have
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ways of getting helping people tell their story, but they
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need the education to understand why am I going through
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this process of storytelling, and through that process they get
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in touch with the source of their deceptive brain messages
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and the coping mechanisms that they use as a child,
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such as people pleasing, taking control, bullying, victimhood, etc. That
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become hardwired subconsciously in their brain but are driving their behavior.
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So by the seventh session, clients are starting to make
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links between what's buried in their brain and the self
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defeating behaviors that they're experiencing in life. And then over
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the last few sessions, we get them in touch with
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those coping mechanisms or what we call saboteurs. And then
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at the end, we get them to write a self
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affirming script which basically tells the truth about who they
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really are, their values, their principles, the great things they've
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done in all aspects of their life, and their dreams
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for the future, and we get them to repeat that
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twice a day every day. Starts at sixty days because
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then I found we start to develop a little bit
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of new brain wiring that can start to take over
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from the old brain wiring, so the individual can bring
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their authentic self to the situation and a course. From there,
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it becomes a life skill that you do that on
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a regular basis. So the core is this renewed process.
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But last year I thought that we as consultants are
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limited by the number of hours in a day, and
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I wanted to bring this to the world. So I'm
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in the process right now of developing this ten module
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program that people can come on through ten modules, learn
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about the brain again metacognition, think about their thinking, to
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help change their identity. We call it their renew Identity Lab.
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And I'm developing an AI coach so that they can
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go through the program. Many people at could be at
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three o'clock in the morning like to go through it,
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and if they want to talk to me, there's an
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AI coach that's there. So I've got my one on
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one coaching process. But now I'm going to be launching
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in the fall this online program. So you're a busy guy,
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Oh yeah, yeah, no question, But like you, David, love it,
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just love it.
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Yeah. I mean both of us have talked about this.
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Also is that first of all, well, neither one of
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us like unnecessary suffering and these stories in our head
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to create a tremendous amount of unnecessary suffering and it's
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hard to watch. And when and when we see people
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transform and literally completely transform, it's it's first of all rewarding.
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But we're both to the point realized that the body's
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healing itself is not some magic of Robert Paris or
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David Hanscomb. We're just as like saying, you connect to
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your authentic self, but it means you also connect to
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your body's capacity to heal, and it does. It's amazing.
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So I you know, I did not quit practice my
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surgical practice to manage chronic pain. I did not realize
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that the mental pain is actually the bigger problem. But
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I quit my practice because I was watching person after
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a person after person go from horrible symptoms, really messed
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up life, and on their own, with some coaching, of course,
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they their life not only got back to normal, it
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went way beyond what they had experienced before. I mean,
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it's remarkable. And then you actually come out of the hole,
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you actually cannot turn back because your brain has changed.
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And so what I like about the neuroplastician concept is
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that you create a new nervous system. If you're trying
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to fight the old nervous system, you're actually reinforcing it
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if you allow yourself to understand the thinking about thinking
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separate you from your own nervous system and allows you
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to move forward into the new one. So you're literally
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creating a new brain. Before we quit this part of
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the podcast, I just like to let people know that
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you did write a new book, which I think is wonderful.
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Could you talk about that, how to access that, also
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how to access your resources and the renewed process.
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Sure? Absolutely so. I wrote a book that was published
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last September. As we've said that you versus your brain,
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reclaiming your identity and what that bit basically is. Because
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my sweet spot is business, it's a business book, although
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it's applicable to anybody, and it's just a CEO of
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a company who has a dream team of executives and
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they're foundering and he can't figure it out because they're
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all brilliant. So what I basically do is get into
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the brains the heads of each of the eight executives
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on the team, and it's all based on real life
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stories about what's holding them back to a become better
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versions of themselves and better contributors. But be you know,
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they're hiding information from each other, so they're not great
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team players. So it's the story of that whole thing
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of what happens to this team and then what we
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do to what I do in my practice to help
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them take control of their brains. We get into the
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renew process and it's that entire story, and then there's
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exercises people can do at the end. What's different though,
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why it's called you Versus Your Brain. I decided how
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do I bring this subject up in a creative way,
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And because we've talked about that the brain misleads so
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many of us from you know, being our true selves.
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I decided that we the people are going to sue
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the brain. So that's what the book is all about.
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We're going to sue the brain, and then there's going
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to be a defense though that's going to defend the brain,
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saying yeah, everything in terms of us screwing up your
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life is true, but the brain actually has a very
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important survival and evolutionary part of the brain. So the
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whole book is the people against the defense and what
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happens at the end.
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Yeah, I Mary spill walls since I read it, but
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it's very well written, very easy to read, entertaining, especially
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a lout of the scenario that you just created. So no,
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it's a great book. Then how do we access your
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services if somebody wants to have treat access to your resources?
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Do you have a website or how how do people
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resource access you?
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Yeah? Yeah, and there's two ways. My website is www
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dot myelin leadership dot com. Everybody always asks about mile
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in what it is, how to spell it? But that's
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M Y E L I M leadership dot com with
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all the resources, and you can purchase the book through
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that ward it's developed. It's available on Amazon.
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Okay, great, Robert, thank you, and I'm looking forward to
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our next podcast where we go into more details. But
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you know, you do great work. As you know, we're
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really much, very much in sac with a little bit
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different languaging. But you know it's gonna take a village
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to sort of change all this around. So I really
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appreciate your input and your work. Plus it's just great get.
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And know you that. Thanks David. I appreciate it, and I,
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by the way, I'm starting to read your book. It's fantastic.
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I'm loving it and learning a lot from it.
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Thank you.
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I'd like to thank our guest Robert Paris for being
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on the show today and sharing how he discovered the
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power of neuroplasticity to help end of its live more authentically.
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I'm your host, Tom Masters, reminding you to be back
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next week for another episode of Back in Control Radio
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with Doctor David Hanscomb, and in the meantime, be sure
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to visit the website at www dot backincontrol dot com.
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Thanks for listening today and join us next week for
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Back in Control Radium
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The following podcast is part of the Mind, Body, Spirit
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dot FM podcast network.
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Hello and welcome to Back in Control Radio with Doctor
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David Hanscombe.
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Hello everybody, welcome to another episode of Back in Control
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Radio with Doctor David Hanscombe. I'm your host, Tom Masters,
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and our guest today is Robert Paris. He's a master neuroplastician,
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founding fellow of the Institute for Applied and Organizational Neuroscience,
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author and leadership coach. He's the creator of the renew
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Process and author of the book You Versus Your Brain,
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Reclaiming Your Identity. For more than thirty years, Robert has
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helped leaders, teams, and individuals understand how the brain shapes
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their thoughts, emotion and behaviors, and how to create lasting
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change through neuroplasticity. His work focuses on helping people reclaim
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control of their minds, reduce suffering, and live more authentically. Welcome.
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Thank you, Tom. I'd like to introduce Robert Parris, who
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he and I have become good friends over many years.
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I first met him in Canada at my Scholis Research
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Society meetings. We met in a restaurant, talked for a while,
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and that's been a lot of years ago, Robert, and
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so it's been a lot of fun staying in touch
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and watching both of our processes evolved. But he's a
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master neuroplastician, founding fellow of the Institute for Applied and
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Organizational Neuroscience, author, leadership coach. He's a creator of renew
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process and author of You Versus Your Brain, Reclaiming Your Identity.
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For more than thirty years, Robert health leaders and teams
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understand the brain and what he's done is basically a
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lot of leadership work, and it's about authenticity and connection
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and a lot of people are coming around to this
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type of thinking, except Robert has been ahead of this
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for a very long time, so his processes are quite refined.
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He has lots of successes, and of course in the
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world right now, where there's so much chaos, leadership is
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really a key issue to look at. So Robert has
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a unique approach. We'll talk about today, and of course
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I always enjoy just catching up with them and Robert,
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welcome to the show.
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Thank you did David. As usual, it's great to talking
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to you and I really look forward to this.
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So anyway, it just gives a little background about what
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is a neuroplastician. How did you arrive to this point
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in life? And you know, neuroplasticity is a big deal,
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but let's start was just explaining what you described as
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a neuroplastician.
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Great neuralplasticition is basically what we do. We teach people
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how their brains work and then how to take control
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of their brains. But it's not theory. What we do
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is we take the theory and all the neuroscience behind it,
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and our job is to im practical terms, develop programs,
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coaching programs, leadership programs that people actually understand. So it's
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the practical application of the theory that we want to
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see people actually make changes in their behavior and how
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they act on a regular basis. So it's a relatively
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new discipline. I'm a master neuroplastician. There's fewer than one
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hundred in the world. But the results we're getting through
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our programs have been just fantastic.
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Yeah, I mean as well ahead of as time. I
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mean this is something where with our vision intelligence, especially
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the technology at the cellular and DNA level, and also
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with brain imaging, we're just getting a huge understanding the
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last ten years about how the brain works, but you're
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on this mode well before we do the technology that
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we know now, so the modern technology is really reinforcing.
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Would you already know? So you're so to become a
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nural plastician? What does that mean? I mean is it
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a course you take or a series of credentially or
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how do you become a nural plastician?
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Well, so what that happened was that there was a
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doctor JJ Kennedy who was kind of thinking about things
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that there's a ton of people talking about the brain.
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But as you and I both know, how many of
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them really know what they're talking about, and some of
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them it's even dangerous in terms of what they're saying.
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So doctor Kennedy basically said, we have to vet people,
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and that's what he did. So he founded the Institute
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for Applied and Organizational Neuroscience as a vetting mechanism. So
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he found me around three years ago on LinkedIn and
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he said, Wow, I'm fascinated by your work, and we
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went through a vetting process where A they kind of
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vetted that I know what I'm talking about about the brain.
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B what's really important is that I've actually or the
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individual has actually implemented programs that are brain based, which
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I have in terms of coaching, leadership development, team development,
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et cetera. But perhaps the most important part is number three,
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that you've actually gotten results, that you've changed people's lives
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with it. So went through a rather thorough vetting process,
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and there's three levels of a plasticition. There's kind of
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the associate, professional and Master, and much to my delight
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at the time was that they basically granted me the
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Master Neuralplastition title, and after I worked with them over
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the last couple of years, they granted me this fellowship
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to be a fellow part of the instaut to which
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I was actually quite thrilled about.
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It was a fellowship. Is that extra training or conversations
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or reading material? What when you become a master? What
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does that entail?
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Well, the Master is kind of again, as I said,
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proving that you've actually help people. But the fellowship is different,
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and that's a recognition that who's ever granted the title
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of fellow has actually taken a leadership role in the
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community right and again launched different programs, those kinds of things.
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So it's recognition of leadership within the community.
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Let's go back to the beginning before you started this
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whole process of the neuroscience of the brain, in creating
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leadership concepts through neuroscience. How did this start? I mean what,
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You've been at this for a while, but I'm curious,
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how did this all begin?
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Yeah, that's actually quite a story. I've been in the
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leadership business for probably fifteen years or so, and then
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one day I was reading an article about a field
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called neural leadership and it was about wow. I was
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teaching people how their brains work and how to use
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that to become better leaders, and I was fascinated. So
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I'm in the cold north. I'm in Montreal, and every
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winter we actually escape to the South and people liy
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on beaches in Florida and they're reading romance novels and
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mystery novels. I literally brought six books about the brain
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and there I was reading on I was taking the
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sun on the beach reading about the brain. People thought
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I was absolutely crazy, but David, I was hooked. I
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was absolutely hooked because I understood everything that we do,
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even when we sleep, is about the brain. So I
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became certified by the Neural Leadership Institute, which is the
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international certifying body for that in a tense eight month program,
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and I learned all of these technical concepts and took
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those again. My job was to create programs that the
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average person, the layman, can understand, and I started doing
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exactly that and getting just tremendous results.
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I get to tell a little story which my wife
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still makes fun of me. We've been together twenty six years,
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and we went down to Mexico within the first year relationship,
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to the beach and I you know those square briefcases
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that carry files. Yes, I would take an entire file
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holder down to the beach full of books. I mean,
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like eight books to the beach at the same time.
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And I still probably do more of that than I should,
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because I never really get them read. I might pick
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I mean, take it one would just be fine, But
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I'd take eight to ten books to the beach at
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a time, and I'm hauling in the baby suit hall
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in this huge briefcase. And it was ridiculous. But anyway,
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I understand where you're coming from. I actually my process
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started a fishing trip to Patagonia in twenty twenty, where
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I took a book down about the polyvagel theory, and
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it was down there at fishing by the side of
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the lakes where I understood the polyvagel theory. So don't
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you think that when you're in a relaxed state that
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your mind's more opened.
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Well, there's absolutely no question about it. And I actually
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love polyvagel theory. I know there's a lot of controversy,
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particularly within my community, saying is there really a science
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base fact to it? But I've used it with my
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clients for a long time and it really really to
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me helps it's an excellent model, if you will, or
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metaphor about the brain that basically talks about when you're
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in that calm state as opposed to the agitated state. Absolutely,
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you think more clearly. It's sort of linked to better
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mental and physical health, etc. So a lot of what
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we do is trying to calm down the nervous system
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and get people in that calm state to be their
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more natural self.
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Steve Port is a friend of mine and his wife'suit
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Card is also a close friend, and we started this
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study group inavertently in twenty twenty where during COVID we
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met every week, and then the last few years we
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meet twice a month. But my goodness, I don't think
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there's any two people on this planet that know nor
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know more about the body, physiology, brain, peptide, evolutionary biology
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than these two people. So I just had to let
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it go, sort of Steve where he gets attacked all
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the time. And you and I both know that the
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body is so complex, there's so much to know. To
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try to encapsulate it in a given theory makes no sense.
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So it's a great model for actually calming down and relaxing.
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And I know you already know this, but you know
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it's front of my dear class and point out that
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when you're anger and frustrated the blessed pod, your thinking
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brain drops down out. You simply cannot think clearly. We'll
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go into your leadership mode. The polybago theory is incredibly
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relevant because it's just physiology, not theoretical. This has now
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been proven on brain scans really clearly that when you're upset,
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the same thing with athletes and performers. You know, when
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they're upset, they don't do well. It's not because they
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don't want to and positive thinking doesn't work. But you've
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got to get your brain back online in order to
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function creatively. So creativity course is one of the basic
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goals of leadership. So let's take your process. Let's just
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talk about the neuroscience behind it, and then we talk
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about in the next podcast what you actually do with
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people with the programs are. But when you sit back
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and you're a neuroplastician, you're focused mostly on leadership. Correct, Yes,
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let me just start at the beginning. I come to you,
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I need some leadership skills, and what's the general flavor
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of what you're trying to accomplish with me?
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Great? Great, great question. So I've been, as I mentioned before,
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in leadership development for quite a while, and to me,
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there's always been a process about leadership kind of four stages.
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One is self leadership that you lead yourself. The second
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one is one on one leadership where you're coaching someone
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or mentoring someone and leading them. The third is team
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leadership where you're leading a team, and the fourth is
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organizational leadership, where you're leading the entire organization. And excuse me,
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there's a lot of leadership training that goes on to
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team leadership and organizational leadership that I say, if you
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can't lead yourself, then how can you lead other people?
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And when it comes to leading yourself, the reality is
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you have to understand your brain. You have to understand
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that you have a lot of subconsciously embedded stories or
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what I call deceptive messages, usually going back to childhood,
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that are driving your behavior and you're not aware of it. So,
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how can you become an effective leader when you have
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these messages and coping mechanisms that you used as a
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child but are still in your brain. How can you
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be that effective leader when you're letting these subconscious stories
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drive your behavior. So you're coming across as someone who's
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not authentic, you probably have a mask and armor on,
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and people see that they're not going to want to
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follow someone who has a fake identity. So a big
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part of my work through my new coaching process is
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to get them in touch with their real identity. And
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then once they do that, we kind of reprogram their
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brains in a way that they present their real, authentic
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self to the world. And we want to follow people
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who are authentic and real. And so that's become the
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cornerstone of my leadership development program.
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And what's the basic approach about how you do that?
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Because you know, I have this new book, you know,
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Calm your body, heal your mind, and it's a different
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take on what you already do. Whereas we get attached
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to our identity or labels, but we're not necessarily connected
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to who we are personally. And you made a concept
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that your thing is about your concept. Humans have a
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unique process called meta thinking where we actually can excuse me,
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we can actually think about thinking, and most other mammals, well,
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I don't think any other mammals can do that. Even
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though they have high level of intelligence, they can't really
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think about thinking. So you have this identity that's really
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a false identity, and there's actually who you are. What's
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your approach to get peop thinking about their thinking? What's
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that mean? Right?
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Well, it really is to get them to reflect on
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decisions they've made, not routine daily decisions, but big decisions
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they may have made professionally, maybe with their families and
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their communities, et cetera, and to think about it. So
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I'm going to give you an example. And again I'm
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a lot in the business world. So suppose I'm a
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mid manager and I'm doing a presentation to the executive
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team with PowerPoint and all that, and I make the
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presentation and let's say there's ten people on this executive team.
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Nine of them say Wow, what a great presentation, but
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one of them says, not so good. I go back
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to my office, right, and I ignore the nine positive
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and I start to reflect on and ruminate on the
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one negative one and it upsets me. Then it upsets
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me that evening the next day week after that as well.
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So I get them now a stop and think about that.
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You went back to your office. How did you come
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to the conclusion that you ignored your ninety percent of
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the feedback and focused in on the ten. So it's
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situations like that that we get people to reflect on.
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What's the story behind that number one and number two?
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Then what's the identity that's attached to your story that
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we can start beginning the process to build to get
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you in touch with your true authentic identity that we
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can eventually hardwire into your brain.
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Right. You know, we've talked about this before, but one
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of the benefits of being noted to your identity it
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doesn't get tossed around all the time. In other words,
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you get beyond being at the mercy of the people's opinions.
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And David Burns calls that, you know, minimizing the positive
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emphasize and the negative, which is a basic cognitive distortion.
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And so how do you do that? What's the technique?
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Do they go through a chorus? Do they do close
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on one on one? What kind of process would you
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take them through to separate that part of their identity
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or that reaction from what's real? I mean, what's real?
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It is nine percent of people like the process. So
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what is it in me that caused me to think
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that that? I can no nine percent of the positive
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focus on the one negative. And my wife is a
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tap dancer and the performance world, they would comment, which
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is really deadly, is that your performance is no better
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than your worst review. How negative is that? And of
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course there's a lot of mental anks amongst performers and
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their perfectionistic self critical And one of my wife's best friends,
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one of the best tap answers in the world, actually
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eventually died of chronic pain from that whole mindset because
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she was never good enough, perfectionistic and she had a
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normal spine. She went through every medical treatment you can imagine,
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inclining iOS, morphine, etc. Et cetera. She had a normal spine. Yeah,
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these thoughts of inadequacy just tortured her. So you're right.
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Unless you can lead yourself, you're going nowhere. So is
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this a course you put people through or is it
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you're one of on coaching that you have them think
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about what you're thinking? Or what would you do with me?
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Who might be more I might be less salvageable than most,
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but let's try me.
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I don't know about that. You're really on top of things.
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But it's really all of the above an answer to
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your question. So my core program is their new coaching process,
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which is a ten week program, and what we do
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there for the first three modules, if you were sessions,
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is that we educate people how their brains work. It
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amazes me, David, that the brain is the motor that
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drives us, but the average doesn't have a clue how
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their brain works. That will not in control of our brains,
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That our brains often work against our best interest, That
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our brains are highly emotional in nature, et cetera, et cetera.
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So we try to educate them because in sessions four, five, six,
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we get them to tell their authentic story with each
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other childhood, adolescent years, and adult years. And we have
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ways of getting helping people tell their story, but they
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need the education to understand why am I going through
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this process of storytelling, and through that process they get
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in touch with the source of their deceptive brain messages
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and the coping mechanisms that they use as a child,
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such as people pleasing, taking control, bullying, victimhood, etc. That
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become hardwired subconsciously in their brain but are driving their behavior.
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So by the seventh session, clients are starting to make
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links between what's buried in their brain and the self
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defeating behaviors that they're experiencing in life. And then over
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the last few sessions, we get them in touch with
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those coping mechanisms or what we call saboteurs. And then
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at the end, we get them to write a self
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affirming script which basically tells the truth about who they
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really are, their values, their principles, the great things they've
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done in all aspects of their life, and their dreams
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for the future, and we get them to repeat that
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twice a day every day. Starts at sixty days because
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then I found we start to develop a little bit
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of new brain wiring that can start to take over
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from the old brain wiring, so the individual can bring
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their authentic self to the situation and a course. From there,
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it becomes a life skill that you do that on
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a regular basis. So the core is this renewed process.
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But last year I thought that we as consultants are
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limited by the number of hours in a day, and
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I wanted to bring this to the world. So I'm
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in the process right now of developing this ten module
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program that people can come on through ten modules, learn
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about the brain again metacognition, think about their thinking, to
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help change their identity. We call it their renew Identity Lab.
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And I'm developing an AI coach so that they can
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go through the program. Many people at could be at
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three o'clock in the morning like to go through it,
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and if they want to talk to me, there's an
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AI coach that's there. So I've got my one on
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one coaching process. But now I'm going to be launching
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in the fall this online program. So you're a busy guy,
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Oh yeah, yeah, no question, But like you, David, love it,
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just love it.
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Yeah. I mean both of us have talked about this.
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Also is that first of all, well, neither one of
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us like unnecessary suffering and these stories in our head
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to create a tremendous amount of unnecessary suffering and it's
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hard to watch. And when and when we see people
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transform and literally completely transform, it's it's first of all rewarding.
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But we're both to the point realized that the body's
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healing itself is not some magic of Robert Paris or
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David Hanscomb. We're just as like saying, you connect to
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your authentic self, but it means you also connect to
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your body's capacity to heal, and it does. It's amazing.
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So I you know, I did not quit practice my
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surgical practice to manage chronic pain. I did not realize
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that the mental pain is actually the bigger problem. But
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I quit my practice because I was watching person after
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a person after person go from horrible symptoms, really messed
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up life, and on their own, with some coaching, of course,
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they their life not only got back to normal, it
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went way beyond what they had experienced before. I mean,
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it's remarkable. And then you actually come out of the hole,
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you actually cannot turn back because your brain has changed.
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And so what I like about the neuroplastician concept is
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that you create a new nervous system. If you're trying
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to fight the old nervous system, you're actually reinforcing it
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if you allow yourself to understand the thinking about thinking
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separate you from your own nervous system and allows you
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to move forward into the new one. So you're literally
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creating a new brain. Before we quit this part of
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the podcast, I just like to let people know that
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you did write a new book, which I think is wonderful.
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Could you talk about that, how to access that, also
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how to access your resources and the renewed process.
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Sure? Absolutely so. I wrote a book that was published
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last September. As we've said that you versus your brain,
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reclaiming your identity and what that bit basically is. Because
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my sweet spot is business, it's a business book, although
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it's applicable to anybody, and it's just a CEO of
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a company who has a dream team of executives and
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they're foundering and he can't figure it out because they're
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all brilliant. So what I basically do is get into
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the brains the heads of each of the eight executives
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on the team, and it's all based on real life
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stories about what's holding them back to a become better
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versions of themselves and better contributors. But be you know,
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they're hiding information from each other, so they're not great
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team players. So it's the story of that whole thing
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of what happens to this team and then what we
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do to what I do in my practice to help
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them take control of their brains. We get into the
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renew process and it's that entire story, and then there's
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exercises people can do at the end. What's different though,
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why it's called you Versus Your Brain. I decided how
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do I bring this subject up in a creative way,
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And because we've talked about that the brain misleads so
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many of us from you know, being our true selves.
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I decided that we the people are going to sue
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the brain. So that's what the book is all about.
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We're going to sue the brain, and then there's going
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to be a defense though that's going to defend the brain,
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saying yeah, everything in terms of us screwing up your
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life is true, but the brain actually has a very
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important survival and evolutionary part of the brain. So the
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whole book is the people against the defense and what
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happens at the end.
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Yeah, I Mary spill walls since I read it, but
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it's very well written, very easy to read, entertaining, especially
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a lout of the scenario that you just created. So no,
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it's a great book. Then how do we access your
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services if somebody wants to have treat access to your resources?
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Do you have a website or how how do people
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resource access you?
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Yeah? Yeah, and there's two ways. My website is www
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dot myelin leadership dot com. Everybody always asks about mile
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in what it is, how to spell it? But that's
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M Y E L I M leadership dot com with
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all the resources, and you can purchase the book through
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that ward it's developed. It's available on Amazon.
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Okay, great, Robert, thank you, and I'm looking forward to
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our next podcast where we go into more details. But
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you know, you do great work. As you know, we're
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really much, very much in sac with a little bit
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different languaging. But you know it's gonna take a village
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to sort of change all this around. So I really
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appreciate your input and your work. Plus it's just great get.
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And know you that. Thanks David. I appreciate it, and I,
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by the way, I'm starting to read your book. It's fantastic.
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I'm loving it and learning a lot from it.
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Thank you.
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I'd like to thank our guest Robert Paris for being
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on the show today and sharing how he discovered the
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power of neuroplasticity to help end of its live more authentically.
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I'm your host, Tom Masters, reminding you to be back
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next week for another episode of Back in Control Radio
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with Doctor David Hanscomb, and in the meantime, be sure
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to visit the website at www dot backincontrol dot com.
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Thanks for listening today and join us next week for
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Back in Control Radium
