03/05 - Mental Holmes I - The Reservation

(03/05 - Mental Holmes I - The Reservation) Meet Aubrey Holmes. He's mad in the head. There’s been a murder. Attorney-at-law Tomathy Wilson fancies his talent to identify the perpetrator, when he sees Aubrey, clad in Tomathy's best suit that Aubrey stole from his washing line. Together they try to use half a brain each to catch the killer. Now, in Part III of 'Mental Holmes', they enter 'Ladies Underclothing' to meet proprietor Mr. Tash.
Tomathy: Just in time, 5 to 6. Ooh dear, smell of the chandler’s wax about this place Holmes.
Holmes: Yis have a sensitive snorkle there Mr Tomathy.
Tash: Yeees? We’re just about to shut up shop for the evening you know, can I help you gentlemen? Are you buying for yourself or a loved one today?
Holmes: Look at the slimey combed head on that lad.
Tomathy: Ah good evening to you Mr Tash. We’re in the hunt for a good old pair of ladies slippers!
Tash: For your good lady Sir?
Tomathay: Something like that… What’s in stock?
Holmes: Ladies-personal-underclothes, made-in-our-own-factory, their-lines-fit-well, wear-well-and-look-well. Hah? That’s quaren good now.
Tash: Well Sir, for the present summer season we have… slip-ons, close, open heel. Some new slipper boots, often favoured by the female this season, with furry fleece or soft lining with a soft rubber sole.
Tomathy: Well, come to think of it, we are looking for a special type, that right Holmes?
Holmes: Hah? Here, looka, the size of the gaping gusset on this flannel! Is there a woman big enough to fit into that yoke? Sure it looks like a balloon!
Tomathy: A purple velvet slipper set Holmes yes? That’s it isn’t it? Yes, yes, I think it is…
Tash What? Purple velvet slippers you say?
Tomathy: Yes, I believe I did.
Tash: For, for your female?
Tomathy: Eh yes…?
Tash: No. We’re sold out.
Tomathy: Excuse me?
Tash: All gone.
Holmes: Gone? Who’s gone?
Tash: There are no velvet slippers in this shop sir. You could try Betty’s at Number 45, terrible stock off the boat from the orient but she may have something, oh and Miss Desmond on Princes Street, then there’s always Central Boot Stores for something more ordinary.
Tomathy: Ah, that’s, that’s a real pity Mr. Tash, I was hoping awfully if you could assist us in this most pressing matter.
Holmes: You! Come here to me…
Tash: Me sir?
Holmes: Looka, we’re on a mission. Have to find the purple velvet slipperses. Y’understand?
Dead females, sexual thrills await... Hoohoo! What's not to like in this latest testamentary from Amplevoicepod? Listen on and delve deeper into the density of 'Mental Holmes I'...