WEBVTT
00:00:15.359 --> 00:00:23.519
Hi, this is Jill Badonsky with The Muse's Daydream, and this story is called Muffins.
00:00:23.519 --> 00:00:40.240
Most dangerous things begin as accidents, like nuclear fission and bangs.
00:00:40.240 --> 00:00:45.520
And that's how these muffins started.
00:00:45.520 --> 00:00:55.359
Hattie was the kind of woman who always looked like she just finished stacking chairs after a church basement meeting nobody really wanted to attend.
00:00:55.359 --> 00:01:06.000
She lived alone with a spider plant named Bill and cookbooks that promised simple joy but involved complicated grocery lists.
00:01:06.000 --> 00:01:15.280
She wanted to make a batch of blueberry muffins that was just aiming for something gee whiz worthy.
00:01:15.280 --> 00:01:19.920
But she was out of sugar, so she used maple syrup.
00:01:19.920 --> 00:01:22.719
Out of cinnamon, so she used cardamom.
00:01:22.719 --> 00:01:26.799
Out of blueberries, so she used dice peaches.
00:01:26.799 --> 00:01:31.920
And out of patience, so she used extra vanilla.
00:01:31.920 --> 00:01:36.000
They came out looking like regular peach muffins.
00:01:36.000 --> 00:01:43.280
And she carried a couple over to her neighbor Martin, whose last recorded smile was during the Obama administration.
00:01:43.280 --> 00:01:47.680
He took one bite and his shoulders dropped a full inch.
00:01:47.680 --> 00:01:53.359
This is uh nice, he said, like the word was rusty.
00:01:53.359 --> 00:02:05.280
By the third bite, he was confessing his divorce, his fear of flying, and the time he peed his pants during a fire drill in third grade.
00:02:05.280 --> 00:02:12.240
But it was fine, he said, because they blamed the sprinkler system, so no one knew.
00:02:13.840 --> 00:02:21.199
In our town, news is usually limited to they moved the cereal to aisle five.
00:02:21.199 --> 00:02:25.840
So the report that Hattie's muffin had mollified Martin spread fast.
00:02:25.840 --> 00:02:37.520
Soon people started showing up with what they called situations: breakups, midlife crisis, and children who talked like tiny hostage takers.
00:02:37.520 --> 00:02:40.000
Hattie listened and baked.
00:02:40.000 --> 00:02:42.879
Might still work out banana nut muffins.
00:02:42.879 --> 00:02:45.680
He wasn't that great anyway, cranberry orange.
00:02:45.680 --> 00:02:48.479
Get a hobby lemon poppy seed.
00:02:48.479 --> 00:02:52.479
And people ate and something in them relaxed.
00:02:52.479 --> 00:03:02.960
Elise the yoga teacher called Hattie a healing portal, which is the kind of phrase that makes regular people want to run into oncoming traffic.
00:03:05.120 --> 00:03:11.599
The town newsletter ran her picture with the caption, muffins that make you feel better.
00:03:11.599 --> 00:03:24.080
It's just butter and fruit that was made while singing off key, she insisted.
00:03:24.080 --> 00:03:26.719
Folks didn't hear just muffins.
00:03:26.719 --> 00:03:28.719
They heard she couldn't fix me.
00:03:28.719 --> 00:03:34.240
Strangers began knocking and holding empty containers and full expectations.
00:03:34.240 --> 00:03:47.680
And one Sunday, a woman named Gwen arrived and said, My husband left.
00:03:47.680 --> 00:03:50.240
My kids blame me.
00:03:50.240 --> 00:03:55.039
And my mama sends sunsets with Bible passages on them.
00:03:55.039 --> 00:03:57.599
I don't want to feel better.
00:03:57.599 --> 00:04:01.360
I want to feel something else.
00:04:01.360 --> 00:04:05.840
Howdy reached for the flower and then stopped.
00:04:05.840 --> 00:04:10.080
I can't, she said, I'm out of miracles.
00:04:10.080 --> 00:04:14.960
They sat and the sugar sounded quiet.
00:04:14.960 --> 00:04:23.040
What if I made you a muffin that doesn't promise anything?
00:04:23.040 --> 00:04:26.160
Just keeps you company while you feel awful.
00:04:26.160 --> 00:04:28.800
A witness muffin.
00:04:28.800 --> 00:04:31.519
Gwen frowned.
00:04:31.519 --> 00:04:33.600
That's terrible brandy.
00:04:33.600 --> 00:04:36.000
Yep, said Hattie.
00:04:36.240 --> 00:04:37.839
And she baked a plain one.
00:04:37.839 --> 00:04:40.800
No fruit, no frosting, no false cheer.
00:04:40.800 --> 00:04:45.759
And they ate them right there and right out of the oven.
00:04:45.759 --> 00:04:48.160
Do you feel something now?
00:04:48.160 --> 00:04:49.600
Hattie said.
00:04:49.600 --> 00:04:53.120
Well my tongue's burnt, Gwen said.
00:04:53.120 --> 00:04:55.279
But less alone.
00:04:55.279 --> 00:04:58.560
Well that's something, Hattie said.
00:04:58.560 --> 00:05:07.199
And the next day a sign appeared on her door.
00:05:07.199 --> 00:05:13.759
Muffins for sale, happiness not guaranteed, company likely.
00:05:13.759 --> 00:05:25.439
Hattie didn't want to fix no one no more, but she made darn sure nobody in that town had to fall apart alone or on an empty stomach.
00:05:25.439 --> 00:05:52.079
Don't need to fix nothing, but it might taste good.
00:05:52.079 --> 00:05:59.680
This has been a muse's daydream.
00:05:59.680 --> 00:06:05.839
Written, narrated, and imperfectly engineered by Jill Badonsky.
00:06:05.839 --> 00:06:09.920
Check the show notes, there's some interesting things there.
00:06:09.920 --> 00:06:12.000
And thank you for listening.
00:00:15.359 --> 00:00:23.519
Hi, this is Jill Badonsky with The Muse's Daydream, and this story is called Muffins.
00:00:23.519 --> 00:00:40.240
Most dangerous things begin as accidents, like nuclear fission and bangs.
00:00:40.240 --> 00:00:45.520
And that's how these muffins started.
00:00:45.520 --> 00:00:55.359
Hattie was the kind of woman who always looked like she just finished stacking chairs after a church basement meeting nobody really wanted to attend.
00:00:55.359 --> 00:01:06.000
She lived alone with a spider plant named Bill and cookbooks that promised simple joy but involved complicated grocery lists.
00:01:06.000 --> 00:01:15.280
She wanted to make a batch of blueberry muffins that was just aiming for something gee whiz worthy.
00:01:15.280 --> 00:01:19.920
But she was out of sugar, so she used maple syrup.
00:01:19.920 --> 00:01:22.719
Out of cinnamon, so she used cardamom.
00:01:22.719 --> 00:01:26.799
Out of blueberries, so she used dice peaches.
00:01:26.799 --> 00:01:31.920
And out of patience, so she used extra vanilla.
00:01:31.920 --> 00:01:36.000
They came out looking like regular peach muffins.
00:01:36.000 --> 00:01:43.280
And she carried a couple over to her neighbor Martin, whose last recorded smile was during the Obama administration.
00:01:43.280 --> 00:01:47.680
He took one bite and his shoulders dropped a full inch.
00:01:47.680 --> 00:01:53.359
This is uh nice, he said, like the word was rusty.
00:01:53.359 --> 00:02:05.280
By the third bite, he was confessing his divorce, his fear of flying, and the time he peed his pants during a fire drill in third grade.
00:02:05.280 --> 00:02:12.240
But it was fine, he said, because they blamed the sprinkler system, so no one knew.
00:02:13.840 --> 00:02:21.199
In our town, news is usually limited to they moved the cereal to aisle five.
00:02:21.199 --> 00:02:25.840
So the report that Hattie's muffin had mollified Martin spread fast.
00:02:25.840 --> 00:02:37.520
Soon people started showing up with what they called situations: breakups, midlife crisis, and children who talked like tiny hostage takers.
00:02:37.520 --> 00:02:40.000
Hattie listened and baked.
00:02:40.000 --> 00:02:42.879
Might still work out banana nut muffins.
00:02:42.879 --> 00:02:45.680
He wasn't that great anyway, cranberry orange.
00:02:45.680 --> 00:02:48.479
Get a hobby lemon poppy seed.
00:02:48.479 --> 00:02:52.479
And people ate and something in them relaxed.
00:02:52.479 --> 00:03:02.960
Elise the yoga teacher called Hattie a healing portal, which is the kind of phrase that makes regular people want to run into oncoming traffic.
00:03:05.120 --> 00:03:11.599
The town newsletter ran her picture with the caption, muffins that make you feel better.
00:03:11.599 --> 00:03:24.080
It's just butter and fruit that was made while singing off key, she insisted.
00:03:24.080 --> 00:03:26.719
Folks didn't hear just muffins.
00:03:26.719 --> 00:03:28.719
They heard she couldn't fix me.
00:03:28.719 --> 00:03:34.240
Strangers began knocking and holding empty containers and full expectations.
00:03:34.240 --> 00:03:47.680
And one Sunday, a woman named Gwen arrived and said, My husband left.
00:03:47.680 --> 00:03:50.240
My kids blame me.
00:03:50.240 --> 00:03:55.039
And my mama sends sunsets with Bible passages on them.
00:03:55.039 --> 00:03:57.599
I don't want to feel better.
00:03:57.599 --> 00:04:01.360
I want to feel something else.
00:04:01.360 --> 00:04:05.840
Howdy reached for the flower and then stopped.
00:04:05.840 --> 00:04:10.080
I can't, she said, I'm out of miracles.
00:04:10.080 --> 00:04:14.960
They sat and the sugar sounded quiet.
00:04:14.960 --> 00:04:23.040
What if I made you a muffin that doesn't promise anything?
00:04:23.040 --> 00:04:26.160
Just keeps you company while you feel awful.
00:04:26.160 --> 00:04:28.800
A witness muffin.
00:04:28.800 --> 00:04:31.519
Gwen frowned.
00:04:31.519 --> 00:04:33.600
That's terrible brandy.
00:04:33.600 --> 00:04:36.000
Yep, said Hattie.
00:04:36.240 --> 00:04:37.839
And she baked a plain one.
00:04:37.839 --> 00:04:40.800
No fruit, no frosting, no false cheer.
00:04:40.800 --> 00:04:45.759
And they ate them right there and right out of the oven.
00:04:45.759 --> 00:04:48.160
Do you feel something now?
00:04:48.160 --> 00:04:49.600
Hattie said.
00:04:49.600 --> 00:04:53.120
Well my tongue's burnt, Gwen said.
00:04:53.120 --> 00:04:55.279
But less alone.
00:04:55.279 --> 00:04:58.560
Well that's something, Hattie said.
00:04:58.560 --> 00:05:07.199
And the next day a sign appeared on her door.
00:05:07.199 --> 00:05:13.759
Muffins for sale, happiness not guaranteed, company likely.
00:05:13.759 --> 00:05:25.439
Hattie didn't want to fix no one no more, but she made darn sure nobody in that town had to fall apart alone or on an empty stomach.
00:05:25.439 --> 00:05:52.079
Don't need to fix nothing, but it might taste good.
00:05:52.079 --> 00:05:59.680
This has been a muse's daydream.
00:05:59.680 --> 00:06:05.839
Written, narrated, and imperfectly engineered by Jill Badonsky.
00:06:05.839 --> 00:06:09.920
Check the show notes, there's some interesting things there.
00:06:09.920 --> 00:06:12.000
And thank you for listening.
