WEBVTT
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He says it'll pass.
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That is like, ooh, even right now, I feel it.
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Ah.
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Do you think Priest and Flea Bag were soulmates?
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I do.
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I think that that's like the beauty of the love story there.
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Like they had an undeniable connection.
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Some stories don't just stay with you, they change you.
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Welcome to Story Obsessed, the podcast for anyone who has ever loved a story more than they can explain.
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I'm your host, Alyssa Much, and every episode I sit down with someone who is unapologetically obsessed with a specific story.
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Could be a TV show, a book, a movie, fan fiction, even a play.
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It's any narrative story that's kind of captured their heart.
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So we're going to talk about the story, we're going to talk about their obsession, and we will answer our ritual question: who needs this story right now?
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Today's guest is Steph D'Angelo.
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She's a lawyer, business owner, the absolute life of the party in every room.
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And today she's here to obsess over fleabag with me.
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So let's get into it.
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Oh my God.
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I loved it.
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Thanks for having me, Alyssa.
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Welcome.
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How's it going today?
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The life of the party.
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Thank you.
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Um, a lawyer being the life of the party, who could have thought thought it?
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Um, my day's going great.
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I got Starbucks multiple times.
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I didn't think you drank coffee.
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You're not a big coffee.
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What?
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What do you think I do?
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You drink coffee.
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What?
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No.
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Oh, yeah.
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Okay.
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Yeah.
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Interesting.
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What do you think I do?
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I thought you did tea.
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I thought you were a tea girl.
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Like me.
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I'm a tea girl.
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Oh, that's so Oh, you're tea girl?
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No, that's so cute.
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No, I I mean today I was tea girl.
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There you go.
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But like, so I need like straight espresso sometimes.
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Like straight up espresso.
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Yeah, no, sometimes it doesn't feel great later, but it does like do the do what you need it.
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Do the job in the moment.
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Like, wake up.
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Yeah.
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Wake up.
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Wake the fuck up.
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Hell yeah.
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Am I allowed to curse?
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Yeah.
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Okay.
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Yeah.
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This is this is an adult podcast.
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I'm so excited to chat with you about this.
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This, we had a conversation at one point about fleabag before the podcast was even an idea.
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And when I was starting to create, you know, write down my thoughts about what this podcast could look like, that conversation kept coming back to me.
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And when I texted you about it and I was like, would you want to do fleabag?
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You immediately responded, yes.
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But you said like the quote you said was, I think it's the most romantic story ever made.
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And I resisted the urge to ask more questions then because I wanted to save it for now.
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So I'm I'm super pumped to chat about this with you.
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Oh my gosh, look at that.
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Yeah, I did say that.
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Um, I do think do you think it's romantic?
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Yeah, definitely.
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Yeah, I I think that like as women, we are everything's a buildup, right?
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You know, everything is about the buildup.
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And I think that yeah, that slow burn.
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It has nothing to do with her, really, but the the the hot priest, I mean, um, and their connection and how it is built and how it is created not just from like a perspective of obviously there's like lust and and everything involved there, but um there's a connection, there's an emotional and spiritual connection.
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Um, and I think that's why like a priest would be in that position, right?
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Because he is sensing something more within, um, and of course, you know, you're tempted constantly physically, um, as men, I I assume at least as men, you know, uh, but um I think as for somebody who's like devoted their life to that kind of cause, right?
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To say that I'm gonna give up everything, the the real temptation is is that is that love connection, that that spiritual and like emotional connection that that clearly existed.
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And so yeah, like the the buildup is is what I thought was romantic.
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Yeah, no, I I totally agree.
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And I think some of our some of our listeners might not know the story.
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So I think it would be great.
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I'm gonna ask you if you're up for a fun little challenge, I'm gonna ask you to recap this story or summarize the story.
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I'll put a timer on for 90 seconds, I'll start the clock and Seth, give us the 90-second version.
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What is Fleabag about?
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Fleabag is two seasons.
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Um, and um, it is uh based around this particular character who is named Fleabag.
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That's the only name that we know this person for.
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It um she's a younger woman, I guess, in like her late 20s, early 30s, who is navigating grief in the first season, like specifically.
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And in her her grief is really based around the loss of her close friend Boo, um, who committed suicide, right?
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That's it was uh like she's struggling with that, and that was her closest friend.
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And she had also just three years prior lost her mother as well.
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So she's navigating that, and she has some guilt um around um the death of her friend Boo.
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And uh you you kind of see her dealing with these things that first season, and um, in the second season, it's more focused on how she is moving on a little bit um and a relationship with Hot Priest.
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And again, all we know is his name is Hot Priest, um and how it develops and she kind of learns to love again, you know.
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Oh, um, and that's it.
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Yeah.
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Perfect.
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Perfect.
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That's the best I can do.
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I think the most important thing that I left out of that summary is that she owns a guinea pig cafe that doesn't make any money.
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And that is such a privilege in London.
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In London.
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Um what what a privilege.
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Like, uh, I mean, I will open up a guinea pig cafe tomorrow if somebody funds me, please.
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Like, give me all the guinea pigs.
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Um, that's like a privilege in and of itself.
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She's like, you know, scattered, like anybody kind of in that like time of their life where they don't really know their direction, but add to that that her best friend just fucking died.
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And she feels a lot immense guilt about that.
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Um, and her mom died.
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Um and her dad is detached, he is totally detached.
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It might be his way of coping to some degree.
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Um, we don't know that because we don't know anything before that.
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Um, but um, he's overwhelmed by everybody's emotions.
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I think that's pretty obvious.
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You know, he kind of like distanced himself himself from Fleabag because the way that she's managing things is is just chaos.
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Like she's she's doing everything that she can to feel something other than her sadness.
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Exactly.
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Umas like her sister Claire is like doing everything she can to have control over her life.
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And um, you know, she has like one moment of chaos where she gets a really terrible haircut, which is like hilarious.
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Uh that's another thing that I missed from that summary is that this is a funny show.
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Despite all of that, there's a lot of hilarious shit that goes on.
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Um, because Phoebe Wallerbridge is a genius, and um, this is a masterpiece.
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It's just a masterpiece of a show.
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Like around the time that I watched it, I think was kind of a time where I was getting my shit together.
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You know what I mean?
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Like I was starting to be more of an adult.
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Like, I feel like I was starting to be able to pay my bills.
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I had a decent job, I had like health benefits, like all, and I feel like watching that show, I don't know.
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It just like it's it's something I don't I don't want to say everyone goes through that.
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I don't think everyone goes through the intense, you know, despair that fleabag is experiencing.
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I think a lot of people do, but not everyone.
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But I think I had come out of a time in my life that was probably the most challenging time in my life.
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And I don't know, something about just seeing it, like it felt cathartic in a way.
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It felt like I was like vicariously like moving on from my own intense period by watching her suffer through hers.
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You know, is there anything that you remember like being like, everyone's gotta watch this show now that I've seen this?
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I loved how they broke the fourth wall.
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You know, that's something I love about OG Sex in the City.
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Like the first couple seasons, the first season they broke the the first wall more and then it just like trickled off and stopped.
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And like, I feel like that's such a bad move to lose that because it brings you in um and it makes it so personalized.
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Like I know so many other people have watched flea bag and and felt like you know, uh so connected to it, but it does feel like I think you can say the same as well.
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Like it feels like it's yours, like it feels like it's mine, you know.
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Um, and it's not, I know that, but it it does feel like a personal connection because of that.
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Um you know, she um you she does some shit things, like what she does to Boo is fucked.
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And like she like hooks up with Boo's boyfriend.
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Um, and Boo um does it's unclear whether Boo knew it was Fleabag.
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In my opinion, like I think that's open for interpretation.
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I think that she didn't really actually know because she went to her.
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Um, I don't know, actually.
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I I really couldn't tell you.
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It it just I think it's I think it's a little vague.
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Yeah.
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I think I think you see the scene where she goes to fleabag and was like, he's like, I think I can't remember the exact word, but she like essentially says he's cheated on me or he slept with someone.
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And then at a later point, you there's kind of the big reveal that Boo killed herself or accidentally killed herself because you know accidentally.
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Yeah, she says her intention was just to like essentially put herself in the hospital, make everyone feel bad, right?
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But when it flashes forward to that scene, that like heartbreak, like she has the most devastated, broken look on her face in that in that flashback when she steps out into the street.
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That face makes me kind of feel like, did she find out it was Fleabag at some point?
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Because, like, I don't know, like obviously there's heartbreak of someone you love cheating on you, but I think the love she had for Fleabag when you see these flashbacks of their friendship.
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I think only that kind of heartbreak would would look like that.
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I don't know.
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Maybe I'm reading too much into the way her face looked, but I just saw that face and I was like, that is like total devastation of everyone I love is not who I thought they were.
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Yeah, that's a beautiful way to look at it.
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And I completely agree.
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Like that makes a lot of sense.
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She she was heartbroken to a different level of and and I, although men can break your heart like that, I think that only when they've created like a family type of thing in her, and clearly Boo and Levag were family, you know.
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Um they're friends, but they had a family bond.
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Uh like they were sisters, you know, in in some way, shape, or form.
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And to do that to your sister um or a friend in general, is is a it's a terrible thing to do.
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I mean, there's no there's nothing that you can say or do that would justify it in any way, shape, or form.
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There's a lot of things I wonder about the relationship with Boo.
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I've the biggest question that I kind of think about is if Boo had survived, how would this story be different?
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Because I think there would still be a ton of like the fleabag, if I had to summarize it, it's shame.
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Like she has intense self-loathing shame for for what she's done, for who she is, for how she lives her like she's walking around with such a heavy weight all the time.
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And typically you don't see the main character be the person that fucked their boy best friend's boyfriend, you know, and we don't get that reveal until I think the last episode of the first season.
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I I think maybe the second to last, but it's towards the end of the whole story.
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So you're witnessing this person suffer and struggle, and you start to root for them, you get to know her, and then you find out what she did.
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Right.
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I my heart was broken for Fleabag while I'm watching this.
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She's going through this intense grief.
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She's lost her mother, she's lost her best friend.
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These flashbacks showing her best friend is a very romantic friendship.
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She meant says a comment.
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Um, Fleabag says about her mom.
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I have so much love for her and I don't know where to put it.
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And Boo says, That sounds lovely.
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I'll take it.
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You know, I'll take that love from you.
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And like, that's incredibly romantic in the sweetest, most amazing kind of way.
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And I don't know, I'm just curious your thoughts.
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Like, would you have still loved this show or rooted for Fleabag if they had shown you what she did in episode one or two?
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Oh, that's such an interesting idea.
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I don't think so, but I also think they immediately showed how flawed she was in in other ways, right?
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Like she was so cruel to men.
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Like she was mean, you know, like it was her boyfriend.
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What was his name?
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Harry.
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Harry.
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It's Harry.
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Harry or Henry?
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Harry.
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Oh, but he's so fucking annoying.
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Like, honestly, like, I totally, honestly, the way she was to him, like, I was like, yeah, that makes sense.
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Like, I understand also running back to that.
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Like, who hasn't been?
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I mean, I've been in that situation where I've had somebody who was like obsessed and loved me so much and was but so fucking annoying that you just don't want to deal with them.
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But like, you know, you felt bad about yourself.
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So you kind of like this person who's obsessed with you kind of makes you feel better for a second.
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And then you're like, but why am I dealing with this?
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This is like, and he also like was so you brought up shame before.
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He was so constantly shaming her.
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And I thought that was very interesting too, because it was also like a little bit like religious, you know, in the sense of like, thou shalt not watch porn or masturbate, you know.
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In season two, there's this scene, um, which is so sexy when she's like calling him father, the hot priest.
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But there's a scene where she says, she's like breaking down, she's crying.
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It's honestly one of my favorite scenes of all time and one of my favorite monologues.
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But it's essentially, I just want someone to tell me what to do.
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I want someone to tell me what to wear, tell me what to think.
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I want someone to tell me who I am so that I don't have to be it anymore, is essentially what she says.
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And I think that summarizes almost all of her actions, like the whole show, not an excuse, but I think everything she's doing is she is passively letting everything happen and not stopping any of it, not standing up for herself or not deciding who she is at any moment.
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She's just, you know, oh, the anal sex guy wants to come over and have anal sex.
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Okay.
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Like, oh, my boyfriend wants to get back together.
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Cool.
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He wants to leave me.
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Cool.
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Like, she's indifferent because she's heartbroken is kind of how I view her, like the way she deals with things.
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It's so interesting, and I agree, but I also think it's constant need for approval and like begging to be like um not accepted, but more than that, like chosen, right?
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And I think that's a like an issue that we as women experience, like wanting to be chosen, that I don't think is discussed enough, you know, or like understood enough, and like the intricacies of like how um some people deal with it, right?
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And so she's constantly flea bag, is constantly dealing with like wanting to be the chosen one, even if it's just for a moment, like somebody's choosing you, like I'm gonna have sex with you, I can't deny you.
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And then she just wants to leave.
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Like she has no connection to these men whatsoever.
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I don't know about like her sex thing.
00:16:27.600 --> 00:16:33.200
I don't know if if it's I think it's just to feel something, like to get her mind off of everything else that she's dealing with.
00:16:33.360 --> 00:16:41.600
And I feel like she's just like creating her own like chaos magic to like have control by having chaos, being in control of the chaos.
00:16:41.759 --> 00:16:42.639
What do you think?
00:16:42.879 --> 00:16:48.879
Her it is chaotic and there's a ton of chaos, but her sleeping with Boo's boyfriend, she loved Boo.
00:16:48.960 --> 00:16:49.919
I I don't doubt that.
00:16:50.000 --> 00:16:51.919
There's no part of the show.
00:16:52.080 --> 00:17:03.759
I think so much of all the trauma she's dealing with is because of how much she loved Boo and the guilt she's dealing with it is not at the level, it's not an equal consequence to the action she took.
00:17:04.000 --> 00:17:07.599
And I think I think that's why it makes her forgivable in a way.
00:17:07.759 --> 00:17:10.240
Like I think what she did was really, really horrible.
00:17:10.319 --> 00:17:24.000
But I think, I think by the time you find out what she did to Boo, you are so ready to forgive her because you have seen the intense like shame and guilt and sadness that she's experienced because of it.
00:17:24.160 --> 00:17:25.039
Yeah, you're right.
00:17:25.200 --> 00:17:26.000
A hundred percent.
00:17:26.160 --> 00:17:27.599
I couldn't agree more.
00:17:30.799 --> 00:17:40.559
We've talked a lot about flea bag and boo, but we gotta get into Hot Priest because I mean, this is why the show, like, I'm the obsession is there because of Hot Priest.
00:17:40.799 --> 00:17:43.359
He's the only person that sees her, you know.
00:17:43.599 --> 00:17:56.720
Um, and I think that that's such an interesting part of all of this is the how he notices, and and everybody always focuses on like how he notices her breaking the fourth wall.
00:17:56.880 --> 00:18:07.920
Throughout the series, she randomly will turn to the camera and say, like, you know, her little comment or her in what what's supposed to be her her inside thought, right?
00:18:08.000 --> 00:18:16.640
Like, and he sees that she at first he doesn't see like or hear what she's saying, he just sees her disappear.
00:18:16.880 --> 00:18:17.119
Right.
00:18:17.279 --> 00:18:19.680
She she detaches, he she disappears, right?
00:18:19.759 --> 00:18:20.160
Yeah.
00:18:20.319 --> 00:18:23.039
And and nobody else has seen that.
00:18:23.279 --> 00:18:29.839
So it's like, it's even surprising as an audience member, like, whoa, like, wait, like, how does he see that?
00:18:30.079 --> 00:18:32.720
Going back to what we said earlier, like, oh, what moment in the show?
00:18:32.799 --> 00:18:37.200
I would argue that that was the moment where I was like, I'm gonna think about this show the rest of my life.
00:18:37.440 --> 00:18:41.599
The first moment he breaks the fourth wall, I swear to God, I leapt out of my seat.
00:18:41.839 --> 00:18:58.799
I was like, did he just, did he just it immediately made you a character in the show because suddenly the camera is not a device of storytelling, like the office, for example, of like the the breaking the fourth wall and doing the side interviews.
00:18:58.960 --> 00:19:02.000
It's not a storytelling device that you're used to.
00:19:02.160 --> 00:19:11.759
You're now suddenly realizing that she is actually in the story, the disassociating, disconnecting, and no one else has noticed except for you.
00:19:12.079 --> 00:19:12.799
You know what I mean?
00:19:12.880 --> 00:19:18.000
And so, and then he like it's almost like suddenly there's three people in the room.
00:19:18.079 --> 00:19:24.640
Even when it's just scenes with flea bag and hot priest, it's you, fleabag and hot priest, or suddenly in the room together.
00:19:24.880 --> 00:19:25.119
Right?
00:19:25.200 --> 00:19:26.160
Like, that's what I think.
00:19:26.240 --> 00:19:28.559
I think I I think that you're right.
00:19:28.640 --> 00:19:34.799
Like the second season is what makes this show like um I don't think it's what makes it unforgettable.
00:19:34.880 --> 00:19:37.200
I think it's what gives us the excitement to be able to talk about it.
00:19:37.279 --> 00:19:39.519
Because like otherwise it's pretty, it's pretty bleak.
00:19:39.759 --> 00:19:49.519
But the second season with Hot Priest is when like you have hope, you know, there is hope of change, hope that like, yeah, life can life you can move on.
00:19:49.680 --> 00:19:53.119
You know, things terrible things happen, you lose the people you love.
00:19:53.279 --> 00:19:57.119
That's the most human thing that we experience is like losing your loved ones.
00:19:57.200 --> 00:19:58.559
It's fucking horrible.
00:19:58.720 --> 00:20:01.680
And it happens to everybody at one point or another.
00:20:01.920 --> 00:20:11.440
But um, and the sun, like the hardest day is like after you lose somebody the next day that the sun rises again, and you're just kind of it's still life.
00:20:11.599 --> 00:20:22.400
And I think it goes back to also what you were asking me early that I never actually responded to, which is like what like was a moment that like you were like, Oh, this is the best fucking show ever, and you'll never like forget it.
00:20:22.640 --> 00:20:27.519
It's definitely when he was like, She was like, I love you, and he says, It'll pass.
00:20:28.240 --> 00:20:33.519
That is like even right now, I feel it.
00:20:34.799 --> 00:20:37.119
Do you think priests and flea by were soulmates?
00:20:38.240 --> 00:20:39.920
I do, yeah, absolutely.
00:20:40.240 --> 00:20:40.640
I do.
00:20:40.799 --> 00:20:43.759
I think that's that's like the the beauty of the love story there.
00:20:43.920 --> 00:21:00.720
Like they had an undeniable connection, but despite his like you know, what he had already like pledged his life to, like he he couldn't deny it for a little bit.
00:21:00.880 --> 00:21:06.799
And I think through that, that's why he's able to connect the flu bag, which is so weird because she's clearly an atheist.
00:21:06.960 --> 00:21:11.759
She's clearly not acting in a very like, you know, traditionally godly Christian way.
00:21:12.319 --> 00:21:22.559
But I think because he has done this like almost soul-searching internal self-reflection, this grappling with who he is and his faith and what matters to him.
00:21:22.720 --> 00:21:27.920
That's why he's able to get a read on Fleabag and connect with her like so well.
00:21:28.240 --> 00:21:28.960
Am I crazy?
00:21:29.039 --> 00:21:29.519
Like, I don't know.
00:21:29.599 --> 00:21:34.799
I think if he weren't, I think if he had never become a priest, he would never connect with Fleabag the way that he does.
00:21:35.039 --> 00:21:35.839
Yeah, I agree.
00:21:36.000 --> 00:21:43.359
I think that there's a sense of being saving people, right?
00:21:43.519 --> 00:21:44.720
Because that's what Jesus did.
00:21:44.799 --> 00:21:58.319
Like Jesus found lepers and hugged them still, like took care of them, love, gave them love, washed their feet still, even despite like how contagious and terrible that disease was, right?
00:21:58.559 --> 00:21:59.680
And it was a love.
00:22:00.240 --> 00:22:01.839
Thy neighbor idea.
00:22:02.160 --> 00:22:10.160
And I find that, or I've found that a lot of people who are trying to emulate Jesus are trying to find somebody who needs to be saved, right?
00:22:10.400 --> 00:22:11.200
Needs the help.
00:22:11.440 --> 00:22:20.559
So, like, in that sense, like I've heard people talk about him as predatory, and I understand that side of things because like she obviously is going through shit.
00:22:20.720 --> 00:22:26.319
I mean, the first thing that he knows about her is that um she had an abort uh or she had a miscarriage.
00:22:26.400 --> 00:22:30.000
Like that wasn't true, but like that's what he thinks at first, right?
00:22:30.160 --> 00:22:31.599
I don't I don't think he's predatory.
00:22:31.680 --> 00:22:32.400
I I have seen that.
00:22:32.480 --> 00:22:33.680
I've seen that on the Reddit threads.
00:22:33.759 --> 00:22:34.720
Like he's a predator.
00:22:34.960 --> 00:22:44.240
I think it's really easy to want to call him a predator, one, because he's a priest, and you know, there's a lot of plenty of stories that you can pull in to talk about that.
00:22:44.559 --> 00:22:50.480
But I think also you try to view him as like, well, if he's like a man of God, he should know better.
00:22:50.640 --> 00:22:54.559
And I think the whole kind of point of his character is he is struggling.
00:22:54.640 --> 00:22:56.559
Like he he I think he was an alcoholic.
00:22:56.720 --> 00:23:03.359
He clearly still feels lust and he's fighting those like temptations and urges and having an internal battle.
00:23:03.599 --> 00:23:04.480
Which is so human.
00:23:04.640 --> 00:23:06.160
He yeah, he's not a perfect person.
00:23:06.240 --> 00:23:12.720
Like, I don't I think him being imperfect and engaging in behaviors that aren't always great doesn't mean he's like being predatory.
00:23:12.799 --> 00:23:17.200
I think he genuinely feels the connection with Fleabag that she also feels with him.
00:23:17.440 --> 00:23:19.920
Should he have been responsible as a man of God?
00:23:20.079 --> 00:23:21.680
Maybe, but he's human.
00:23:22.000 --> 00:23:22.799
I agree with you 100%.
00:23:23.119 --> 00:23:28.160
I don't think he's a predator in the sense I I I find it interesting that people think that he's a predator.
00:23:28.319 --> 00:23:36.640
Um, and I do think it's because, you know, obviously if you have a certain title or a certain position, you know, uh people like kind of jump to that.
00:23:36.720 --> 00:23:38.960
But she is like that takes away fleabag's agency.
00:23:39.039 --> 00:23:40.079
She is an adult woman.
00:23:40.240 --> 00:23:44.240
And she does go to church to see him because she's like, I want to fuck the priest.
00:23:44.400 --> 00:23:47.279
She likes straight up says I want to fucking fuck the priest, like, which I love.
00:23:47.599 --> 00:23:47.759
Yeah.
00:23:48.000 --> 00:23:52.720
Like so, like, yeah, like I don't think like it's predatory in that sense.
00:23:52.880 --> 00:23:57.759
I think it's an interesting take on a soul connection.
00:23:58.000 --> 00:24:00.880
It's such a fascinating thing to think: is somebody a soul?
00:24:01.200 --> 00:24:02.160
Is there soulmates?
00:24:02.319 --> 00:24:03.920
Does soulmate exist?
00:24:04.240 --> 00:24:10.960
And like, is this kind of a look at like how your soul can just like connect with somebody?
00:24:11.119 --> 00:24:14.160
You know, you just have that immediate connection.
00:24:14.640 --> 00:24:16.880
Yeah, no, I I I agree with everything you said.
00:24:17.039 --> 00:24:24.000
And I I feel like um there's like the line when she's in her therapist's office and the therapist is like, Do you want to fuck the priest or do you want to fuck God?
00:24:24.400 --> 00:24:36.720
And I think that I think you could, you know, I I think you could dive deeper into that and definitely see, oh, maybe she does want to fuck God, and maybe there is like um, you know, a whole nother layer to this.
00:24:37.279 --> 00:24:39.839
But I also don't want to cheapen their relationship.
00:24:39.920 --> 00:24:43.519
Like, I don't think she wants, I I don't think it's just that.
00:24:43.599 --> 00:24:44.240
You know what I mean?
00:24:44.319 --> 00:24:53.440
I don't think there's some like unmet need, and the priest is just like a symbol of that, and therefore she wants to sleep with him to like check some internal box or validation.
00:24:53.599 --> 00:24:55.759
I I do think there's a soulmate connection.
00:24:55.839 --> 00:25:06.079
And I think him choosing his life as a man of God over that is the thing that finally allows Fleabag to grow.
00:25:06.240 --> 00:25:14.799
That moment of hope she had of like falling for the priest and getting to sleep with him, and then him still not choosing her.
00:25:15.119 --> 00:25:23.039
I think season one fleabag would have unraveled and continued down a pattern of chaos and bad decisions.
00:25:23.200 --> 00:25:36.960
But I think season two, fleabag, the love she felt for him was so hopeful and so like pure and such a good thing that it literally allowed her to deal with the heartbreak of not getting it, if that makes sense.
00:25:37.200 --> 00:25:42.960
Like it gave her hope that life can be better, even if I don't get hot priests, you know?
00:25:43.279 --> 00:25:43.680
Yeah.
00:25:43.839 --> 00:25:51.680
It's a it's it's a a heartbreak that is, I don't want to say acceptable, but that's where my mind is going.
00:25:51.759 --> 00:25:58.880
Like it's a heartbreak that she can understand and she doesn't she doesn't grieve it.
00:25:59.440 --> 00:26:03.920
She's not grieving it in in the same way that she had grieved her mother and Boo.
00:26:04.240 --> 00:26:07.200
She's she's obviously sad.
00:26:07.839 --> 00:26:09.680
You know, she doesn't want that to be the case.
00:26:09.759 --> 00:26:13.359
She wants and you want to know it's something that's really crazy, actually, to Alyssa.
00:26:13.759 --> 00:26:14.799
This is wild.
00:26:15.119 --> 00:26:27.200
Um, and I don't know that I've told a lot of people this, but my grandmother divorced my grandfather, and the next man that she married was a priest who left priesthood to be with her.
00:26:27.920 --> 00:26:30.000
What it isn't that wild.
00:26:30.400 --> 00:26:32.079
Wow, that is wild.
00:26:32.319 --> 00:26:35.200
Did you were you like and act did you like were you close with them?
00:26:35.279 --> 00:26:37.839
Like, you know, I'm not sure of how old are they alive?
00:26:38.000 --> 00:26:38.480
I don't know.
00:26:38.559 --> 00:26:40.720
Like my grandmother's alive.
00:26:41.039 --> 00:26:46.240
Uh her her husband who had left the priesthood, his name is Victor, he had passed away.
00:26:46.480 --> 00:26:48.480
Um, but they had divorced too.
00:26:48.559 --> 00:26:53.359
They also, which is I find fascinating to like also leave the priesthood priesthood, yeah.
00:26:53.680 --> 00:26:54.559
To then divorce.
00:26:54.640 --> 00:26:56.559
Like that's a that's a big yeah.
00:26:56.640 --> 00:27:03.359
I think it's like it's such a weird like it, you know, it it's a funny thing.
00:27:03.440 --> 00:27:13.119
I don't obviously like not many people have have done that or experienced that, or and I I you know, to make that decision is huge, you know.
00:27:13.200 --> 00:27:15.279
I I actually have never even talked about it with my grandmother.
00:27:15.359 --> 00:27:17.039
I should probably ask her about it a little bit more.
00:27:17.599 --> 00:27:18.960
You should make her watch Fleabag.
00:27:19.039 --> 00:27:20.400
You guys should sit down and watch it together.
00:27:20.559 --> 00:27:23.039
She'll be like, oh yeah, she was a hot priest.
00:27:23.119 --> 00:27:24.319
I remember those days.
00:27:25.680 --> 00:27:27.680
She's wild, my grandma.
00:27:27.839 --> 00:27:29.519
She's absolutely off her rocker.
00:27:29.839 --> 00:27:31.119
So perfect.
00:27:31.279 --> 00:27:33.759
She's she's wild, yeah.
00:27:39.839 --> 00:27:41.119
Obviously, repressive.
00:27:41.200 --> 00:27:43.119
I can talk a lot of shit about her father.
00:27:43.440 --> 00:27:46.720
One thing I will say, he says one of my favorite quotes on the show.
00:27:46.960 --> 00:27:52.559
He says, You experience love so much more deeply than everyone else.
00:27:52.720 --> 00:27:58.319
And then he says, and that's a that's probably a misquote, but then he says, that's why you find it also difficult.
00:27:58.480 --> 00:27:59.599
Like that's the line I love.
00:27:59.680 --> 00:28:01.519
That's why you find it all so difficult.
00:28:01.759 --> 00:28:04.960
And I feel like that almost redeems him a little bit.
00:28:05.039 --> 00:28:05.440
Cause I agree.
00:28:05.519 --> 00:28:11.920
I think a lot of her issues with men and needing validation probably come from the lack of emotional availability of her father.
00:28:12.480 --> 00:28:18.960
But I think in that moment, he is one of the few men that we see in Fleabag's life that actually sees her.
00:28:19.119 --> 00:28:27.279
Like I think he's one of the few people that sees all the chaos and all the bad decisions and all of her struggles and sums it up of like, yeah, I see you.
00:28:27.440 --> 00:28:29.039
Like, I I know why you're doing this.
00:28:29.119 --> 00:28:34.240
And it's because you're feeling you're you're feeling it so much more deeply than I've ever allowed myself to feel it.
00:28:34.319 --> 00:28:36.640
And you were indulging all those emotions.
00:28:36.799 --> 00:28:42.880
If you were more closed off, if you had more walls, if you didn't let people in so much, you wouldn't feel this way.
00:28:43.119 --> 00:28:44.640
Yeah, that's so fascinating.
00:28:44.880 --> 00:28:45.359
You're right.
00:28:45.440 --> 00:28:46.960
That's such an incredible quote.
00:28:47.200 --> 00:28:53.119
And such a moment where he like actually expresses something because otherwise he's like, uh, go home.
00:28:53.200 --> 00:28:54.720
Like, let me get you a taxi.
00:28:55.039 --> 00:29:00.799
Really like trying to keep her from entering too deeply into him.
00:29:01.200 --> 00:29:02.960
Like, please stay away, mate.
00:29:03.440 --> 00:29:13.680
Um meanwhile, like he has this like bitch ass like girlfriend wife thing who like just expresses herself in like the worst way possible.
00:29:13.839 --> 00:29:22.720
Like, I one of like a great quote that I love from Fleabag is like, to be fair, she's not um an evil stepmother, she's just a cunt.
00:29:22.880 --> 00:29:27.039
And I'm like, yeah, that's actually that's a really that's an accurate depiction.
00:29:27.119 --> 00:29:32.000
Like, she is just kind of a person who isn't good.
00:29:32.240 --> 00:29:37.200
Like, she's just we called her before when we were talking about this, we were like, she's Professor Umbridge.
00:29:37.359 --> 00:29:44.799
I don't know if people are Harry Potter listeners, but like she is very Professor Umbridge, like sickly sweet in what she says.
00:29:45.039 --> 00:29:48.400
Um, and the undertone is not nice, right?
00:29:48.559 --> 00:29:51.279
It's like there's always something that's like, how dare you?
00:29:51.440 --> 00:30:01.359
And Fleabag never says anything back to her, really, you know, like um not like she never like she never disturbs that.
00:30:01.599 --> 00:30:10.160
Um uh except she takes things, like, you know, but Well, you she did disturb it when remember she made her be a waitress at her like art gallery.
00:30:10.319 --> 00:30:11.920
And then she did she shatter a glass.
00:30:12.000 --> 00:30:16.160
I can't remember the exact scene, but I know that she kind of like was like, yeah, I'm done.
00:30:16.319 --> 00:30:18.319
Um, with Godmother.
00:30:18.640 --> 00:30:20.640
Her character, I think, fully took advantage.
00:30:20.799 --> 00:30:27.440
I don't know if you've heard like it's men marry the woman in front the woman in front of them when the timing is right.
00:30:27.519 --> 00:30:33.759
When they're finally ready to get married, they'll marry the first viable person in front of them, which I think that really simplifies men.
00:30:33.839 --> 00:30:36.480
And like, I don't think that's completely true.
00:30:37.039 --> 00:30:41.920
But I think for some men, it is, and I think she fully takes advantage of that.
00:30:42.160 --> 00:30:46.640
This man who lost his wife, uh, we assume he was in love with her.
00:30:46.799 --> 00:30:49.839
There seems to be some little hints of his own grief, right?
00:30:50.079 --> 00:30:56.559
She dies, and then godmother is just hovering around, taking care of the house, making things are okay for him.
00:30:56.799 --> 00:31:03.920
And I would argue out of convenience and his desire not to be alone, he's like, perfect.
00:31:04.000 --> 00:31:07.039
Okay, just place you right in this like empty spot in my household.
00:31:07.200 --> 00:31:13.759
And I think she did that in a calculated way of like, if I'm just proud 100%, like it'll be fine.
00:31:14.079 --> 00:31:16.400
She fucking went in for the kill.
00:31:16.480 --> 00:31:18.799
Like she knew it, and it's so gross.
00:31:18.960 --> 00:31:22.319
Like when you're the godmother, the best friend of the person who passed away.
00:31:22.480 --> 00:31:24.240
Like it was very obvious.
00:31:24.480 --> 00:31:27.839
But right, to take I it's not fair to take agency from him.
00:31:27.920 --> 00:31:30.000
Like he just like he was like, fine.
00:31:30.160 --> 00:31:31.519
I think women do it too, though.
00:31:31.680 --> 00:31:34.799
Like the number of people I've seen that I'm like, how did you end up with that dude?
00:31:34.880 --> 00:31:36.559
Like he was just the one who was there.
00:31:36.720 --> 00:31:38.880
Like, I don't think it's fair to just put that on men.
00:31:38.960 --> 00:31:41.279
I think that's just a self-esteem issue.
00:31:41.440 --> 00:31:45.359
Either internally, they're like, either they have a self-esteem issue or they're going through too much.
00:31:45.440 --> 00:31:51.680
And somebody just can consistently was physically or emotionally is just present.
00:31:52.079 --> 00:31:53.440
She shoved her way in.
00:31:54.160 --> 00:32:07.200
And um, and yeah, like I don't I he clearly is uh distraught over his wife passing um and doesn't know how to deal with it.
00:32:07.279 --> 00:32:16.559
And like having this other person manage everything for him is a lot easier than having to think about all those difficult things.
00:32:16.720 --> 00:32:19.119
Like flea bag is the exact opposite.
00:32:19.279 --> 00:32:23.039
Like, if she had somebody handling everything for her, which is what she says she wants, right?
00:32:23.119 --> 00:32:28.000
She literally says that to Priest, like, I just wish somebody was there to make every decision for me and do everything for me.
00:32:28.240 --> 00:32:30.400
Like, um, he he did that.
00:32:30.559 --> 00:32:34.079
Like he has somebody there making every decision for him, doing everything for him.
00:32:34.160 --> 00:32:35.119
And it's going fine.
00:32:35.200 --> 00:32:42.960
He's just with a miserable, mean, not nice lady who is not nice to his kids, which I find reprehensible.
00:32:43.039 --> 00:32:46.799
I've I feel like that's like the biggest ultimate betrayal of everything.
00:32:47.039 --> 00:32:50.480
We talked about like boo before, like what Martin did was terrible.
00:32:50.640 --> 00:32:52.480
I think that's an ultimate betrayal as well.
00:32:52.559 --> 00:33:07.359
But like to to like disregard your your daughters and allow this woman to treat them in a in a way that is anything but absolutely wonderful is unacceptable to me.
00:33:07.519 --> 00:33:09.440
Like, you treat my fucking dog wrong.
00:33:09.599 --> 00:33:11.359
I'll I'll smack you.
00:33:11.599 --> 00:33:12.000
Yeah.
00:33:12.480 --> 00:33:14.720
And I think that's I think that's really common too.
00:33:14.880 --> 00:33:27.519
Like, I think a lot of people have that experience of like they lose a parent and then their their remaining parent ends up with a partner that doesn't respect certain boundaries or treat them with with the same level of respect that that they should.
00:33:27.759 --> 00:33:35.440
But obviously Godmother's character is is an is another level of like vindictive and shitty to flee back and her sister.
00:33:35.759 --> 00:33:50.400
Do you remember like the the statue that she steals, like that little like hot little body, and then yeah, like it's a whole thing, and then it ends up being like Godmother says, like she made it like based off their mom.
00:33:51.279 --> 00:33:55.920
Oh my god, uh, uh it's so sick, horrible.
00:33:56.000 --> 00:33:58.000
It's so sick, it's so sick.
00:33:58.160 --> 00:34:00.319
So, like who's worse, godmother or Martin?
00:34:00.400 --> 00:34:03.039
Like, they're both just they're they're equivalent.
00:34:04.559 --> 00:34:05.519
Yeah, yeah.
00:34:05.680 --> 00:34:10.480
And I feel like that is like it's like sister is like dad.
00:34:10.960 --> 00:34:13.440
Picks a partner, Martin, like godmother.
00:34:13.679 --> 00:34:15.519
Ooh, I never thought about that.
00:34:16.239 --> 00:34:18.559
Pretty hard, like pretty wild.
00:34:18.639 --> 00:34:25.199
And and finally, maybe Claire is gonna find something better in in in male Claire, right?
00:34:25.519 --> 00:34:29.039
But like that's the hope, that's the hope of season two, right?
00:34:29.199 --> 00:34:30.880
Season two brings so much hope.
00:34:31.199 --> 00:34:33.280
Um, it's such a fucking good show.
00:34:33.440 --> 00:34:35.039
Holy shit, so good.
00:34:38.719 --> 00:34:50.079
All right, so as we go to close out our conversation on fleabag, um, part of our season one approach is we're asking a ritual question at the end of every episode.
00:34:50.320 --> 00:34:54.239
And this season we're asking the question, who needs this story right now?
00:34:54.480 --> 00:35:00.480
And so I'm curious your thoughts on who who maybe hasn't seen Fleabag, who needs it.
00:35:00.800 --> 00:35:09.199
I think if you are somebody who needs a hit of romantic, then watch Fleabag.
00:35:09.360 --> 00:35:16.320
Like, if you I feel like there's nothing out there that hits quite the same way um as fleabag does.
00:35:16.480 --> 00:35:18.719
I mean, I can't think of anything else.
00:35:18.800 --> 00:35:22.079
I mean, if you're gonna compare the notebook, like it's annoying, they fight too much.
00:35:22.159 --> 00:35:23.199
Like, I don't like it.
00:35:23.360 --> 00:35:26.480
Like, there is nothing that hits quite the same way.
00:35:26.559 --> 00:35:33.280
So if you want some romance, you want to read real romance and not like fairy porn, which I read, so no judgment.
00:35:33.440 --> 00:35:39.840
Um, or like I don't know what else is out there, a million different things that's not really real romance.
00:35:40.000 --> 00:35:46.239
Like again, Twilight, where there's two men fighting over the same chick, which is every single Christmas movie, too, if you look at them.
00:35:46.480 --> 00:35:49.679
Um, this is this is you need this.
00:35:49.840 --> 00:35:52.719
Take it, read it, watch it, enjoy it.
00:35:52.960 --> 00:35:53.360
Mm-hmm.
00:35:53.519 --> 00:35:54.639
No, I I completely agree.
00:35:54.719 --> 00:36:04.960
I feel like I also feel like anyone who is um maybe going through a breakup that maybe they're not breaking up due to lack of love, you know.
00:36:05.039 --> 00:36:11.519
Like I think something about like the priest and the way he made a choice and she has to accept it and move on.
00:36:11.679 --> 00:36:25.039
I think I think there's a really like beautiful message there of like you can love someone and it not be the person you're gonna spend your life with, and that's okay, and you can still like appreciate the love that you were given during it.
00:36:25.280 --> 00:36:27.199
That's so beautiful.
00:36:27.519 --> 00:36:30.559
That's hard to do, but that's beautiful.
00:36:33.760 --> 00:36:37.840
Thank you again to Steph for coming on and getting obsessed with flea bag with me.
00:36:38.000 --> 00:36:50.480
If this episode meant something to you or if it made you think a little bit differently about flea bag or even other stories you love, um, I hope you'll share it with someone, leave a review, or find us anywhere you like to spend time online.
00:36:50.800 --> 00:36:52.000
I'm Alyssa Much.
00:36:52.159 --> 00:36:56.480
This is Story Obsessed, and maybe there's a story you've been meaning to come back to.
00:36:56.639 --> 00:36:58.159
I'll see you next time.
00:37:01.280 --> 00:37:02.800
That was awesome, Alyssa.
00:37:04.159 --> 00:37:16.639
It was so funny.
00:00:03.040 --> 00:00:04.719
He says it'll pass.
00:00:05.120 --> 00:00:07.919
That is like, ooh, even right now, I feel it.
00:00:08.160 --> 00:00:08.480
Ah.
00:00:08.960 --> 00:00:11.279
Do you think Priest and Flea Bag were soulmates?
00:00:11.439 --> 00:00:11.759
I do.
00:00:11.919 --> 00:00:14.880
I think that that's like the beauty of the love story there.
00:00:14.960 --> 00:00:19.039
Like they had an undeniable connection.
00:00:28.399 --> 00:00:30.960
Some stories don't just stay with you, they change you.
00:00:31.199 --> 00:00:36.240
Welcome to Story Obsessed, the podcast for anyone who has ever loved a story more than they can explain.
00:00:36.399 --> 00:00:42.960
I'm your host, Alyssa Much, and every episode I sit down with someone who is unapologetically obsessed with a specific story.
00:00:43.200 --> 00:00:48.399
Could be a TV show, a book, a movie, fan fiction, even a play.
00:00:48.560 --> 00:00:51.439
It's any narrative story that's kind of captured their heart.
00:00:51.600 --> 00:00:58.159
So we're going to talk about the story, we're going to talk about their obsession, and we will answer our ritual question: who needs this story right now?
00:00:58.479 --> 00:01:00.479
Today's guest is Steph D'Angelo.
00:01:00.640 --> 00:01:04.799
She's a lawyer, business owner, the absolute life of the party in every room.
00:01:05.040 --> 00:01:08.480
And today she's here to obsess over fleabag with me.
00:01:08.640 --> 00:01:10.239
So let's get into it.
00:01:10.719 --> 00:01:11.680
Oh my God.
00:01:11.760 --> 00:01:12.400
I loved it.
00:01:12.560 --> 00:01:14.239
Thanks for having me, Alyssa.
00:01:14.480 --> 00:01:14.879
Welcome.
00:01:14.959 --> 00:01:15.840
How's it going today?
00:01:16.000 --> 00:01:17.200
The life of the party.
00:01:17.439 --> 00:01:18.319
Thank you.
00:01:18.560 --> 00:01:22.560
Um, a lawyer being the life of the party, who could have thought thought it?
00:01:22.640 --> 00:01:24.079
Um, my day's going great.
00:01:24.159 --> 00:01:25.760
I got Starbucks multiple times.
00:01:26.159 --> 00:01:28.079
I didn't think you drank coffee.
00:01:28.560 --> 00:01:29.439
You're not a big coffee.
00:01:29.680 --> 00:01:29.840
What?
00:01:29.920 --> 00:01:30.560
What do you think I do?
00:01:30.799 --> 00:01:31.599
You drink coffee.
00:01:31.840 --> 00:01:32.159
What?
00:01:32.319 --> 00:01:32.640
No.
00:01:32.959 --> 00:01:33.599
Oh, yeah.
00:01:33.760 --> 00:01:34.000
Okay.
00:01:34.239 --> 00:01:34.400
Yeah.
00:01:34.480 --> 00:01:34.719
Interesting.
00:01:34.959 --> 00:01:35.680
What do you think I do?
00:01:35.840 --> 00:01:36.719
I thought you did tea.
00:01:36.799 --> 00:01:37.840
I thought you were a tea girl.
00:01:38.079 --> 00:01:38.400
Like me.
00:01:38.480 --> 00:01:39.200
I'm a tea girl.
00:01:39.359 --> 00:01:41.760
Oh, that's so Oh, you're tea girl?
00:01:42.079 --> 00:01:42.879
No, that's so cute.
00:01:43.040 --> 00:01:44.959
No, I I mean today I was tea girl.
00:01:45.200 --> 00:01:45.760
There you go.
00:01:46.000 --> 00:01:49.359
But like, so I need like straight espresso sometimes.
00:01:49.599 --> 00:01:51.519
Like straight up espresso.
00:01:51.760 --> 00:01:56.400
Yeah, no, sometimes it doesn't feel great later, but it does like do the do what you need it.
00:01:56.640 --> 00:01:57.519
Do the job in the moment.
00:01:57.920 --> 00:01:58.640
Like, wake up.
00:01:58.719 --> 00:01:59.040
Yeah.
00:01:59.200 --> 00:01:59.760
Wake up.
00:01:59.920 --> 00:02:00.719
Wake the fuck up.
00:02:00.879 --> 00:02:01.439
Hell yeah.
00:02:01.680 --> 00:02:02.959
Am I allowed to curse?
00:02:03.120 --> 00:02:03.439
Yeah.
00:02:03.680 --> 00:02:03.840
Okay.
00:02:04.079 --> 00:02:04.239
Yeah.
00:02:04.319 --> 00:02:07.040
This is this is an adult podcast.
00:02:10.240 --> 00:02:12.240
I'm so excited to chat with you about this.
00:02:12.560 --> 00:02:18.319
This, we had a conversation at one point about fleabag before the podcast was even an idea.
00:02:18.560 --> 00:02:25.919
And when I was starting to create, you know, write down my thoughts about what this podcast could look like, that conversation kept coming back to me.
00:02:26.080 --> 00:02:29.599
And when I texted you about it and I was like, would you want to do fleabag?
00:02:29.680 --> 00:02:30.879
You immediately responded, yes.
00:02:31.120 --> 00:02:37.840
But you said like the quote you said was, I think it's the most romantic story ever made.
00:02:38.080 --> 00:02:43.280
And I resisted the urge to ask more questions then because I wanted to save it for now.
00:02:43.439 --> 00:02:45.759
So I'm I'm super pumped to chat about this with you.
00:02:46.000 --> 00:02:47.919
Oh my gosh, look at that.
00:02:48.080 --> 00:02:49.680
Yeah, I did say that.
00:02:49.919 --> 00:02:52.719
Um, I do think do you think it's romantic?
00:02:52.960 --> 00:02:54.000
Yeah, definitely.
00:02:54.240 --> 00:03:00.000
Yeah, I I think that like as women, we are everything's a buildup, right?
00:03:00.159 --> 00:03:02.400
You know, everything is about the buildup.
00:03:02.719 --> 00:03:06.639
And I think that yeah, that slow burn.
00:03:06.800 --> 00:03:34.319
It has nothing to do with her, really, but the the the hot priest, I mean, um, and their connection and how it is built and how it is created not just from like a perspective of obviously there's like lust and and everything involved there, but um there's a connection, there's an emotional and spiritual connection.
00:03:34.560 --> 00:03:41.439
Um, and I think that's why like a priest would be in that position, right?
00:03:41.599 --> 00:04:01.840
Because he is sensing something more within, um, and of course, you know, you're tempted constantly physically, um, as men, I I assume at least as men, you know, uh, but um I think as for somebody who's like devoted their life to that kind of cause, right?
00:04:01.919 --> 00:04:13.039
To say that I'm gonna give up everything, the the real temptation is is that is that love connection, that that spiritual and like emotional connection that that clearly existed.
00:04:13.199 --> 00:04:16.959
And so yeah, like the the buildup is is what I thought was romantic.
00:04:17.279 --> 00:04:18.879
Yeah, no, I I totally agree.
00:04:18.959 --> 00:04:22.399
And I think some of our some of our listeners might not know the story.
00:04:22.480 --> 00:04:23.680
So I think it would be great.
00:04:23.839 --> 00:04:31.120
I'm gonna ask you if you're up for a fun little challenge, I'm gonna ask you to recap this story or summarize the story.
00:04:31.199 --> 00:04:36.879
I'll put a timer on for 90 seconds, I'll start the clock and Seth, give us the 90-second version.
00:04:37.040 --> 00:04:38.720
What is Fleabag about?
00:04:39.120 --> 00:04:41.279
Fleabag is two seasons.
00:04:41.519 --> 00:04:48.480
Um, and um, it is uh based around this particular character who is named Fleabag.
00:04:48.560 --> 00:04:50.720
That's the only name that we know this person for.
00:04:50.800 --> 00:05:00.800
It um she's a younger woman, I guess, in like her late 20s, early 30s, who is navigating grief in the first season, like specifically.
00:05:01.199 --> 00:05:11.120
And in her her grief is really based around the loss of her close friend Boo, um, who committed suicide, right?
00:05:11.199 --> 00:05:15.040
That's it was uh like she's struggling with that, and that was her closest friend.
00:05:15.199 --> 00:05:19.279
And she had also just three years prior lost her mother as well.
00:05:19.439 --> 00:05:26.480
So she's navigating that, and she has some guilt um around um the death of her friend Boo.
00:05:26.959 --> 00:05:44.399
And uh you you kind of see her dealing with these things that first season, and um, in the second season, it's more focused on how she is moving on a little bit um and a relationship with Hot Priest.
00:05:44.639 --> 00:05:55.839
And again, all we know is his name is Hot Priest, um and how it develops and she kind of learns to love again, you know.
00:05:57.040 --> 00:06:00.079
Oh, um, and that's it.
00:06:00.240 --> 00:06:00.560
Yeah.
00:06:00.879 --> 00:06:01.519
Perfect.
00:06:02.319 --> 00:06:02.800
Perfect.
00:06:02.959 --> 00:06:03.759
That's the best I can do.
00:06:04.000 --> 00:06:12.399
I think the most important thing that I left out of that summary is that she owns a guinea pig cafe that doesn't make any money.
00:06:13.360 --> 00:06:15.680
And that is such a privilege in London.
00:06:15.920 --> 00:06:16.720
In London.
00:06:16.879 --> 00:06:18.720
Um what what a privilege.
00:06:18.879 --> 00:06:24.319
Like, uh, I mean, I will open up a guinea pig cafe tomorrow if somebody funds me, please.
00:06:24.399 --> 00:06:26.240
Like, give me all the guinea pigs.
00:06:26.399 --> 00:06:28.800
Um, that's like a privilege in and of itself.
00:06:29.120 --> 00:06:41.360
She's like, you know, scattered, like anybody kind of in that like time of their life where they don't really know their direction, but add to that that her best friend just fucking died.
00:06:41.920 --> 00:06:44.720
And she feels a lot immense guilt about that.
00:06:44.879 --> 00:06:46.560
Um, and her mom died.
00:06:46.800 --> 00:06:52.079
Um and her dad is detached, he is totally detached.
00:06:52.240 --> 00:06:54.879
It might be his way of coping to some degree.
00:06:55.040 --> 00:06:58.240
Um, we don't know that because we don't know anything before that.
00:06:58.399 --> 00:07:03.120
Um, but um, he's overwhelmed by everybody's emotions.
00:07:03.279 --> 00:07:04.480
I think that's pretty obvious.
00:07:04.720 --> 00:07:12.480
You know, he kind of like distanced himself himself from Fleabag because the way that she's managing things is is just chaos.
00:07:12.639 --> 00:07:19.360
Like she's she's doing everything that she can to feel something other than her sadness.
00:07:19.680 --> 00:07:20.160
Exactly.
00:07:20.319 --> 00:07:28.959
Umas like her sister Claire is like doing everything she can to have control over her life.
00:07:29.360 --> 00:07:35.120
And um, you know, she has like one moment of chaos where she gets a really terrible haircut, which is like hilarious.
00:07:35.759 --> 00:07:39.040
Uh that's another thing that I missed from that summary is that this is a funny show.
00:07:39.199 --> 00:07:42.959
Despite all of that, there's a lot of hilarious shit that goes on.
00:07:43.120 --> 00:07:48.399
Um, because Phoebe Wallerbridge is a genius, and um, this is a masterpiece.
00:07:48.480 --> 00:07:50.560
It's just a masterpiece of a show.
00:07:50.800 --> 00:07:57.279
Like around the time that I watched it, I think was kind of a time where I was getting my shit together.
00:07:57.519 --> 00:07:58.240
You know what I mean?
00:07:58.319 --> 00:07:59.759
Like I was starting to be more of an adult.
00:07:59.839 --> 00:08:01.680
Like, I feel like I was starting to be able to pay my bills.
00:08:01.839 --> 00:08:08.399
I had a decent job, I had like health benefits, like all, and I feel like watching that show, I don't know.
00:08:08.560 --> 00:08:12.720
It just like it's it's something I don't I don't want to say everyone goes through that.
00:08:13.120 --> 00:08:18.000
I don't think everyone goes through the intense, you know, despair that fleabag is experiencing.
00:08:18.160 --> 00:08:20.240
I think a lot of people do, but not everyone.
00:08:20.480 --> 00:08:26.480
But I think I had come out of a time in my life that was probably the most challenging time in my life.
00:08:26.800 --> 00:08:31.839
And I don't know, something about just seeing it, like it felt cathartic in a way.
00:08:31.920 --> 00:08:40.159
It felt like I was like vicariously like moving on from my own intense period by watching her suffer through hers.
00:08:40.559 --> 00:08:45.519
You know, is there anything that you remember like being like, everyone's gotta watch this show now that I've seen this?
00:08:45.840 --> 00:08:48.240
I loved how they broke the fourth wall.
00:08:48.320 --> 00:08:52.639
You know, that's something I love about OG Sex in the City.
00:08:52.799 --> 00:08:59.679
Like the first couple seasons, the first season they broke the the first wall more and then it just like trickled off and stopped.
00:08:59.759 --> 00:09:08.480
And like, I feel like that's such a bad move to lose that because it brings you in um and it makes it so personalized.
00:09:08.639 --> 00:09:21.279
Like I know so many other people have watched flea bag and and felt like you know, uh so connected to it, but it does feel like I think you can say the same as well.
00:09:21.360 --> 00:09:24.000
Like it feels like it's yours, like it feels like it's mine, you know.
00:09:24.159 --> 00:09:30.000
Um, and it's not, I know that, but it it does feel like a personal connection because of that.
00:09:30.240 --> 00:09:37.840
Um you know, she um you she does some shit things, like what she does to Boo is fucked.
00:09:37.919 --> 00:09:42.240
And like she like hooks up with Boo's boyfriend.
00:09:42.399 --> 00:09:49.120
Um, and Boo um does it's unclear whether Boo knew it was Fleabag.
00:09:49.200 --> 00:09:52.320
In my opinion, like I think that's open for interpretation.
00:09:52.559 --> 00:09:56.480
I think that she didn't really actually know because she went to her.
00:09:56.879 --> 00:09:59.039
Um, I don't know, actually.
00:09:59.120 --> 00:10:00.159
I I really couldn't tell you.
00:10:00.240 --> 00:10:02.559
It it just I think it's I think it's a little vague.
00:10:02.639 --> 00:10:02.799
Yeah.
00:10:02.879 --> 00:10:11.120
I think I think you see the scene where she goes to fleabag and was like, he's like, I think I can't remember the exact word, but she like essentially says he's cheated on me or he slept with someone.
00:10:11.360 --> 00:10:20.799
And then at a later point, you there's kind of the big reveal that Boo killed herself or accidentally killed herself because you know accidentally.
00:10:21.039 --> 00:10:25.840
Yeah, she says her intention was just to like essentially put herself in the hospital, make everyone feel bad, right?
00:10:26.240 --> 00:10:38.080
But when it flashes forward to that scene, that like heartbreak, like she has the most devastated, broken look on her face in that in that flashback when she steps out into the street.
00:10:38.480 --> 00:10:43.840
That face makes me kind of feel like, did she find out it was Fleabag at some point?
00:10:44.000 --> 00:10:53.759
Because, like, I don't know, like obviously there's heartbreak of someone you love cheating on you, but I think the love she had for Fleabag when you see these flashbacks of their friendship.
00:10:54.000 --> 00:10:57.840
I think only that kind of heartbreak would would look like that.
00:10:58.000 --> 00:10:58.399
I don't know.
00:10:58.559 --> 00:11:07.519
Maybe I'm reading too much into the way her face looked, but I just saw that face and I was like, that is like total devastation of everyone I love is not who I thought they were.
00:11:07.840 --> 00:11:10.879
Yeah, that's a beautiful way to look at it.
00:11:10.960 --> 00:11:12.159
And I completely agree.
00:11:12.320 --> 00:11:13.600
Like that makes a lot of sense.
00:11:13.759 --> 00:11:27.759
She she was heartbroken to a different level of and and I, although men can break your heart like that, I think that only when they've created like a family type of thing in her, and clearly Boo and Levag were family, you know.
00:11:28.000 --> 00:11:31.679
Um they're friends, but they had a family bond.
00:11:31.840 --> 00:11:36.559
Uh like they were sisters, you know, in in some way, shape, or form.
00:11:36.879 --> 00:11:49.440
And to do that to your sister um or a friend in general, is is a it's a terrible thing to do.
00:11:49.600 --> 00:11:57.120
I mean, there's no there's nothing that you can say or do that would justify it in any way, shape, or form.
00:11:57.440 --> 00:12:00.000
There's a lot of things I wonder about the relationship with Boo.
00:12:00.080 --> 00:12:07.279
I've the biggest question that I kind of think about is if Boo had survived, how would this story be different?
00:12:07.519 --> 00:12:12.000
Because I think there would still be a ton of like the fleabag, if I had to summarize it, it's shame.
00:12:12.080 --> 00:12:23.039
Like she has intense self-loathing shame for for what she's done, for who she is, for how she lives her like she's walking around with such a heavy weight all the time.
00:12:23.279 --> 00:12:36.720
And typically you don't see the main character be the person that fucked their boy best friend's boyfriend, you know, and we don't get that reveal until I think the last episode of the first season.
00:12:36.799 --> 00:12:40.879
I I think maybe the second to last, but it's towards the end of the whole story.
00:12:41.039 --> 00:12:50.720
So you're witnessing this person suffer and struggle, and you start to root for them, you get to know her, and then you find out what she did.
00:12:51.759 --> 00:12:52.399
Right.
00:12:52.799 --> 00:12:55.759
I my heart was broken for Fleabag while I'm watching this.
00:12:55.840 --> 00:12:57.440
She's going through this intense grief.
00:12:57.519 --> 00:13:00.320
She's lost her mother, she's lost her best friend.
00:13:00.559 --> 00:13:05.840
These flashbacks showing her best friend is a very romantic friendship.
00:13:06.000 --> 00:13:07.360
She meant says a comment.
00:13:07.440 --> 00:13:09.840
Um, Fleabag says about her mom.
00:13:10.080 --> 00:13:12.240
I have so much love for her and I don't know where to put it.
00:13:12.399 --> 00:13:14.240
And Boo says, That sounds lovely.
00:13:14.399 --> 00:13:15.279
I'll take it.
00:13:15.440 --> 00:13:17.120
You know, I'll take that love from you.
00:13:17.279 --> 00:13:22.559
And like, that's incredibly romantic in the sweetest, most amazing kind of way.
00:13:22.720 --> 00:13:24.639
And I don't know, I'm just curious your thoughts.
00:13:24.720 --> 00:13:31.279
Like, would you have still loved this show or rooted for Fleabag if they had shown you what she did in episode one or two?
00:13:31.519 --> 00:13:34.799
Oh, that's such an interesting idea.
00:13:35.200 --> 00:13:42.080
I don't think so, but I also think they immediately showed how flawed she was in in other ways, right?
00:13:42.159 --> 00:13:44.240
Like she was so cruel to men.
00:13:44.399 --> 00:13:47.600
Like she was mean, you know, like it was her boyfriend.
00:13:47.679 --> 00:13:48.159
What was his name?
00:13:48.559 --> 00:13:48.879
Harry.
00:13:49.039 --> 00:13:49.279
Harry.
00:13:49.360 --> 00:13:49.840
It's Harry.
00:13:50.000 --> 00:13:50.720
Harry or Henry?
00:13:50.879 --> 00:13:51.279
Harry.
00:13:51.440 --> 00:13:53.039
Oh, but he's so fucking annoying.
00:13:53.200 --> 00:13:58.480
Like, honestly, like, I totally, honestly, the way she was to him, like, I was like, yeah, that makes sense.
00:13:58.639 --> 00:14:00.399
Like, I understand also running back to that.
00:14:00.559 --> 00:14:01.759
Like, who hasn't been?
00:14:01.919 --> 00:14:11.519
I mean, I've been in that situation where I've had somebody who was like obsessed and loved me so much and was but so fucking annoying that you just don't want to deal with them.
00:14:11.679 --> 00:14:13.600
But like, you know, you felt bad about yourself.
00:14:13.679 --> 00:14:18.240
So you kind of like this person who's obsessed with you kind of makes you feel better for a second.
00:14:18.320 --> 00:14:20.080
And then you're like, but why am I dealing with this?
00:14:20.240 --> 00:14:24.559
This is like, and he also like was so you brought up shame before.
00:14:24.639 --> 00:14:26.559
He was so constantly shaming her.
00:14:26.639 --> 00:14:36.960
And I thought that was very interesting too, because it was also like a little bit like religious, you know, in the sense of like, thou shalt not watch porn or masturbate, you know.
00:14:40.639 --> 00:14:47.039
In season two, there's this scene, um, which is so sexy when she's like calling him father, the hot priest.
00:14:47.120 --> 00:14:50.000
But there's a scene where she says, she's like breaking down, she's crying.
00:14:50.080 --> 00:14:54.000
It's honestly one of my favorite scenes of all time and one of my favorite monologues.
00:14:54.240 --> 00:14:56.559
But it's essentially, I just want someone to tell me what to do.
00:14:56.639 --> 00:14:58.960
I want someone to tell me what to wear, tell me what to think.
00:14:59.039 --> 00:15:04.879
I want someone to tell me who I am so that I don't have to be it anymore, is essentially what she says.
00:15:05.120 --> 00:15:21.120
And I think that summarizes almost all of her actions, like the whole show, not an excuse, but I think everything she's doing is she is passively letting everything happen and not stopping any of it, not standing up for herself or not deciding who she is at any moment.
00:15:21.519 --> 00:15:26.080
She's just, you know, oh, the anal sex guy wants to come over and have anal sex.
00:15:26.240 --> 00:15:26.480
Okay.
00:15:26.639 --> 00:15:28.639
Like, oh, my boyfriend wants to get back together.
00:15:28.799 --> 00:15:28.960
Cool.
00:15:29.120 --> 00:15:29.919
He wants to leave me.
00:15:30.000 --> 00:15:30.240
Cool.
00:15:30.320 --> 00:15:38.159
Like, she's indifferent because she's heartbroken is kind of how I view her, like the way she deals with things.
00:15:39.120 --> 00:15:51.440
It's so interesting, and I agree, but I also think it's constant need for approval and like begging to be like um not accepted, but more than that, like chosen, right?
00:15:51.600 --> 00:16:07.039
And I think that's a like an issue that we as women experience, like wanting to be chosen, that I don't think is discussed enough, you know, or like understood enough, and like the intricacies of like how um some people deal with it, right?
00:16:07.200 --> 00:16:20.559
And so she's constantly flea bag, is constantly dealing with like wanting to be the chosen one, even if it's just for a moment, like somebody's choosing you, like I'm gonna have sex with you, I can't deny you.
00:16:20.720 --> 00:16:21.919
And then she just wants to leave.
00:16:22.000 --> 00:16:24.559
Like she has no connection to these men whatsoever.
00:16:24.720 --> 00:16:27.440
I don't know about like her sex thing.
00:16:27.600 --> 00:16:33.200
I don't know if if it's I think it's just to feel something, like to get her mind off of everything else that she's dealing with.
00:16:33.360 --> 00:16:41.600
And I feel like she's just like creating her own like chaos magic to like have control by having chaos, being in control of the chaos.
00:16:41.759 --> 00:16:42.639
What do you think?
00:16:42.879 --> 00:16:48.879
Her it is chaotic and there's a ton of chaos, but her sleeping with Boo's boyfriend, she loved Boo.
00:16:48.960 --> 00:16:49.919
I I don't doubt that.
00:16:50.000 --> 00:16:51.919
There's no part of the show.
00:16:52.080 --> 00:17:03.759
I think so much of all the trauma she's dealing with is because of how much she loved Boo and the guilt she's dealing with it is not at the level, it's not an equal consequence to the action she took.
00:17:04.000 --> 00:17:07.599
And I think I think that's why it makes her forgivable in a way.
00:17:07.759 --> 00:17:10.240
Like I think what she did was really, really horrible.
00:17:10.319 --> 00:17:24.000
But I think, I think by the time you find out what she did to Boo, you are so ready to forgive her because you have seen the intense like shame and guilt and sadness that she's experienced because of it.
00:17:24.160 --> 00:17:25.039
Yeah, you're right.
00:17:25.200 --> 00:17:26.000
A hundred percent.
00:17:26.160 --> 00:17:27.599
I couldn't agree more.
00:17:30.799 --> 00:17:40.559
We've talked a lot about flea bag and boo, but we gotta get into Hot Priest because I mean, this is why the show, like, I'm the obsession is there because of Hot Priest.
00:17:40.799 --> 00:17:43.359
He's the only person that sees her, you know.
00:17:43.599 --> 00:17:56.720
Um, and I think that that's such an interesting part of all of this is the how he notices, and and everybody always focuses on like how he notices her breaking the fourth wall.
00:17:56.880 --> 00:18:07.920
Throughout the series, she randomly will turn to the camera and say, like, you know, her little comment or her in what what's supposed to be her her inside thought, right?
00:18:08.000 --> 00:18:16.640
Like, and he sees that she at first he doesn't see like or hear what she's saying, he just sees her disappear.
00:18:16.880 --> 00:18:17.119
Right.
00:18:17.279 --> 00:18:19.680
She she detaches, he she disappears, right?
00:18:19.759 --> 00:18:20.160
Yeah.
00:18:20.319 --> 00:18:23.039
And and nobody else has seen that.
00:18:23.279 --> 00:18:29.839
So it's like, it's even surprising as an audience member, like, whoa, like, wait, like, how does he see that?
00:18:30.079 --> 00:18:32.720
Going back to what we said earlier, like, oh, what moment in the show?
00:18:32.799 --> 00:18:37.200
I would argue that that was the moment where I was like, I'm gonna think about this show the rest of my life.
00:18:37.440 --> 00:18:41.599
The first moment he breaks the fourth wall, I swear to God, I leapt out of my seat.
00:18:41.839 --> 00:18:58.799
I was like, did he just, did he just it immediately made you a character in the show because suddenly the camera is not a device of storytelling, like the office, for example, of like the the breaking the fourth wall and doing the side interviews.
00:18:58.960 --> 00:19:02.000
It's not a storytelling device that you're used to.
00:19:02.160 --> 00:19:11.759
You're now suddenly realizing that she is actually in the story, the disassociating, disconnecting, and no one else has noticed except for you.
00:19:12.079 --> 00:19:12.799
You know what I mean?
00:19:12.880 --> 00:19:18.000
And so, and then he like it's almost like suddenly there's three people in the room.
00:19:18.079 --> 00:19:24.640
Even when it's just scenes with flea bag and hot priest, it's you, fleabag and hot priest, or suddenly in the room together.
00:19:24.880 --> 00:19:25.119
Right?
00:19:25.200 --> 00:19:26.160
Like, that's what I think.
00:19:26.240 --> 00:19:28.559
I think I I think that you're right.
00:19:28.640 --> 00:19:34.799
Like the second season is what makes this show like um I don't think it's what makes it unforgettable.
00:19:34.880 --> 00:19:37.200
I think it's what gives us the excitement to be able to talk about it.
00:19:37.279 --> 00:19:39.519
Because like otherwise it's pretty, it's pretty bleak.
00:19:39.759 --> 00:19:49.519
But the second season with Hot Priest is when like you have hope, you know, there is hope of change, hope that like, yeah, life can life you can move on.
00:19:49.680 --> 00:19:53.119
You know, things terrible things happen, you lose the people you love.
00:19:53.279 --> 00:19:57.119
That's the most human thing that we experience is like losing your loved ones.
00:19:57.200 --> 00:19:58.559
It's fucking horrible.
00:19:58.720 --> 00:20:01.680
And it happens to everybody at one point or another.
00:20:01.920 --> 00:20:11.440
But um, and the sun, like the hardest day is like after you lose somebody the next day that the sun rises again, and you're just kind of it's still life.
00:20:11.599 --> 00:20:22.400
And I think it goes back to also what you were asking me early that I never actually responded to, which is like what like was a moment that like you were like, Oh, this is the best fucking show ever, and you'll never like forget it.
00:20:22.640 --> 00:20:27.519
It's definitely when he was like, She was like, I love you, and he says, It'll pass.
00:20:28.240 --> 00:20:33.519
That is like even right now, I feel it.
00:20:34.799 --> 00:20:37.119
Do you think priests and flea by were soulmates?
00:20:38.240 --> 00:20:39.920
I do, yeah, absolutely.
00:20:40.240 --> 00:20:40.640
I do.
00:20:40.799 --> 00:20:43.759
I think that's that's like the the beauty of the love story there.
00:20:43.920 --> 00:21:00.720
Like they had an undeniable connection, but despite his like you know, what he had already like pledged his life to, like he he couldn't deny it for a little bit.
00:21:00.880 --> 00:21:06.799
And I think through that, that's why he's able to connect the flu bag, which is so weird because she's clearly an atheist.
00:21:06.960 --> 00:21:11.759
She's clearly not acting in a very like, you know, traditionally godly Christian way.
00:21:12.319 --> 00:21:22.559
But I think because he has done this like almost soul-searching internal self-reflection, this grappling with who he is and his faith and what matters to him.
00:21:22.720 --> 00:21:27.920
That's why he's able to get a read on Fleabag and connect with her like so well.
00:21:28.240 --> 00:21:28.960
Am I crazy?
00:21:29.039 --> 00:21:29.519
Like, I don't know.
00:21:29.599 --> 00:21:34.799
I think if he weren't, I think if he had never become a priest, he would never connect with Fleabag the way that he does.
00:21:35.039 --> 00:21:35.839
Yeah, I agree.
00:21:36.000 --> 00:21:43.359
I think that there's a sense of being saving people, right?
00:21:43.519 --> 00:21:44.720
Because that's what Jesus did.
00:21:44.799 --> 00:21:58.319
Like Jesus found lepers and hugged them still, like took care of them, love, gave them love, washed their feet still, even despite like how contagious and terrible that disease was, right?
00:21:58.559 --> 00:21:59.680
And it was a love.
00:22:00.240 --> 00:22:01.839
Thy neighbor idea.
00:22:02.160 --> 00:22:10.160
And I find that, or I've found that a lot of people who are trying to emulate Jesus are trying to find somebody who needs to be saved, right?
00:22:10.400 --> 00:22:11.200
Needs the help.
00:22:11.440 --> 00:22:20.559
So, like, in that sense, like I've heard people talk about him as predatory, and I understand that side of things because like she obviously is going through shit.
00:22:20.720 --> 00:22:26.319
I mean, the first thing that he knows about her is that um she had an abort uh or she had a miscarriage.
00:22:26.400 --> 00:22:30.000
Like that wasn't true, but like that's what he thinks at first, right?
00:22:30.160 --> 00:22:31.599
I don't I don't think he's predatory.
00:22:31.680 --> 00:22:32.400
I I have seen that.
00:22:32.480 --> 00:22:33.680
I've seen that on the Reddit threads.
00:22:33.759 --> 00:22:34.720
Like he's a predator.
00:22:34.960 --> 00:22:44.240
I think it's really easy to want to call him a predator, one, because he's a priest, and you know, there's a lot of plenty of stories that you can pull in to talk about that.
00:22:44.559 --> 00:22:50.480
But I think also you try to view him as like, well, if he's like a man of God, he should know better.
00:22:50.640 --> 00:22:54.559
And I think the whole kind of point of his character is he is struggling.
00:22:54.640 --> 00:22:56.559
Like he he I think he was an alcoholic.
00:22:56.720 --> 00:23:03.359
He clearly still feels lust and he's fighting those like temptations and urges and having an internal battle.
00:23:03.599 --> 00:23:04.480
Which is so human.
00:23:04.640 --> 00:23:06.160
He yeah, he's not a perfect person.
00:23:06.240 --> 00:23:12.720
Like, I don't I think him being imperfect and engaging in behaviors that aren't always great doesn't mean he's like being predatory.
00:23:12.799 --> 00:23:17.200
I think he genuinely feels the connection with Fleabag that she also feels with him.
00:23:17.440 --> 00:23:19.920
Should he have been responsible as a man of God?
00:23:20.079 --> 00:23:21.680
Maybe, but he's human.
00:23:22.000 --> 00:23:22.799
I agree with you 100%.
00:23:23.119 --> 00:23:28.160
I don't think he's a predator in the sense I I I find it interesting that people think that he's a predator.
00:23:28.319 --> 00:23:36.640
Um, and I do think it's because, you know, obviously if you have a certain title or a certain position, you know, uh people like kind of jump to that.
00:23:36.720 --> 00:23:38.960
But she is like that takes away fleabag's agency.
00:23:39.039 --> 00:23:40.079
She is an adult woman.
00:23:40.240 --> 00:23:44.240
And she does go to church to see him because she's like, I want to fuck the priest.
00:23:44.400 --> 00:23:47.279
She likes straight up says I want to fucking fuck the priest, like, which I love.
00:23:47.599 --> 00:23:47.759
Yeah.
00:23:48.000 --> 00:23:52.720
Like so, like, yeah, like I don't think like it's predatory in that sense.
00:23:52.880 --> 00:23:57.759
I think it's an interesting take on a soul connection.
00:23:58.000 --> 00:24:00.880
It's such a fascinating thing to think: is somebody a soul?
00:24:01.200 --> 00:24:02.160
Is there soulmates?
00:24:02.319 --> 00:24:03.920
Does soulmate exist?
00:24:04.240 --> 00:24:10.960
And like, is this kind of a look at like how your soul can just like connect with somebody?
00:24:11.119 --> 00:24:14.160
You know, you just have that immediate connection.
00:24:14.640 --> 00:24:16.880
Yeah, no, I I I agree with everything you said.
00:24:17.039 --> 00:24:24.000
And I I feel like um there's like the line when she's in her therapist's office and the therapist is like, Do you want to fuck the priest or do you want to fuck God?
00:24:24.400 --> 00:24:36.720
And I think that I think you could, you know, I I think you could dive deeper into that and definitely see, oh, maybe she does want to fuck God, and maybe there is like um, you know, a whole nother layer to this.
00:24:37.279 --> 00:24:39.839
But I also don't want to cheapen their relationship.
00:24:39.920 --> 00:24:43.519
Like, I don't think she wants, I I don't think it's just that.
00:24:43.599 --> 00:24:44.240
You know what I mean?
00:24:44.319 --> 00:24:53.440
I don't think there's some like unmet need, and the priest is just like a symbol of that, and therefore she wants to sleep with him to like check some internal box or validation.
00:24:53.599 --> 00:24:55.759
I I do think there's a soulmate connection.
00:24:55.839 --> 00:25:06.079
And I think him choosing his life as a man of God over that is the thing that finally allows Fleabag to grow.
00:25:06.240 --> 00:25:14.799
That moment of hope she had of like falling for the priest and getting to sleep with him, and then him still not choosing her.
00:25:15.119 --> 00:25:23.039
I think season one fleabag would have unraveled and continued down a pattern of chaos and bad decisions.
00:25:23.200 --> 00:25:36.960
But I think season two, fleabag, the love she felt for him was so hopeful and so like pure and such a good thing that it literally allowed her to deal with the heartbreak of not getting it, if that makes sense.
00:25:37.200 --> 00:25:42.960
Like it gave her hope that life can be better, even if I don't get hot priests, you know?
00:25:43.279 --> 00:25:43.680
Yeah.
00:25:43.839 --> 00:25:51.680
It's a it's it's a a heartbreak that is, I don't want to say acceptable, but that's where my mind is going.
00:25:51.759 --> 00:25:58.880
Like it's a heartbreak that she can understand and she doesn't she doesn't grieve it.
00:25:59.440 --> 00:26:03.920
She's not grieving it in in the same way that she had grieved her mother and Boo.
00:26:04.240 --> 00:26:07.200
She's she's obviously sad.
00:26:07.839 --> 00:26:09.680
You know, she doesn't want that to be the case.
00:26:09.759 --> 00:26:13.359
She wants and you want to know it's something that's really crazy, actually, to Alyssa.
00:26:13.759 --> 00:26:14.799
This is wild.
00:26:15.119 --> 00:26:27.200
Um, and I don't know that I've told a lot of people this, but my grandmother divorced my grandfather, and the next man that she married was a priest who left priesthood to be with her.
00:26:27.920 --> 00:26:30.000
What it isn't that wild.
00:26:30.400 --> 00:26:32.079
Wow, that is wild.
00:26:32.319 --> 00:26:35.200
Did you were you like and act did you like were you close with them?
00:26:35.279 --> 00:26:37.839
Like, you know, I'm not sure of how old are they alive?
00:26:38.000 --> 00:26:38.480
I don't know.
00:26:38.559 --> 00:26:40.720
Like my grandmother's alive.
00:26:41.039 --> 00:26:46.240
Uh her her husband who had left the priesthood, his name is Victor, he had passed away.
00:26:46.480 --> 00:26:48.480
Um, but they had divorced too.
00:26:48.559 --> 00:26:53.359
They also, which is I find fascinating to like also leave the priesthood priesthood, yeah.
00:26:53.680 --> 00:26:54.559
To then divorce.
00:26:54.640 --> 00:26:56.559
Like that's a that's a big yeah.
00:26:56.640 --> 00:27:03.359
I think it's like it's such a weird like it, you know, it it's a funny thing.
00:27:03.440 --> 00:27:13.119
I don't obviously like not many people have have done that or experienced that, or and I I you know, to make that decision is huge, you know.
00:27:13.200 --> 00:27:15.279
I I actually have never even talked about it with my grandmother.
00:27:15.359 --> 00:27:17.039
I should probably ask her about it a little bit more.
00:27:17.599 --> 00:27:18.960
You should make her watch Fleabag.
00:27:19.039 --> 00:27:20.400
You guys should sit down and watch it together.
00:27:20.559 --> 00:27:23.039
She'll be like, oh yeah, she was a hot priest.
00:27:23.119 --> 00:27:24.319
I remember those days.
00:27:25.680 --> 00:27:27.680
She's wild, my grandma.
00:27:27.839 --> 00:27:29.519
She's absolutely off her rocker.
00:27:29.839 --> 00:27:31.119
So perfect.
00:27:31.279 --> 00:27:33.759
She's she's wild, yeah.
00:27:39.839 --> 00:27:41.119
Obviously, repressive.
00:27:41.200 --> 00:27:43.119
I can talk a lot of shit about her father.
00:27:43.440 --> 00:27:46.720
One thing I will say, he says one of my favorite quotes on the show.
00:27:46.960 --> 00:27:52.559
He says, You experience love so much more deeply than everyone else.
00:27:52.720 --> 00:27:58.319
And then he says, and that's a that's probably a misquote, but then he says, that's why you find it also difficult.
00:27:58.480 --> 00:27:59.599
Like that's the line I love.
00:27:59.680 --> 00:28:01.519
That's why you find it all so difficult.
00:28:01.759 --> 00:28:04.960
And I feel like that almost redeems him a little bit.
00:28:05.039 --> 00:28:05.440
Cause I agree.
00:28:05.519 --> 00:28:11.920
I think a lot of her issues with men and needing validation probably come from the lack of emotional availability of her father.
00:28:12.480 --> 00:28:18.960
But I think in that moment, he is one of the few men that we see in Fleabag's life that actually sees her.
00:28:19.119 --> 00:28:27.279
Like I think he's one of the few people that sees all the chaos and all the bad decisions and all of her struggles and sums it up of like, yeah, I see you.
00:28:27.440 --> 00:28:29.039
Like, I I know why you're doing this.
00:28:29.119 --> 00:28:34.240
And it's because you're feeling you're you're feeling it so much more deeply than I've ever allowed myself to feel it.
00:28:34.319 --> 00:28:36.640
And you were indulging all those emotions.
00:28:36.799 --> 00:28:42.880
If you were more closed off, if you had more walls, if you didn't let people in so much, you wouldn't feel this way.
00:28:43.119 --> 00:28:44.640
Yeah, that's so fascinating.
00:28:44.880 --> 00:28:45.359
You're right.
00:28:45.440 --> 00:28:46.960
That's such an incredible quote.
00:28:47.200 --> 00:28:53.119
And such a moment where he like actually expresses something because otherwise he's like, uh, go home.
00:28:53.200 --> 00:28:54.720
Like, let me get you a taxi.
00:28:55.039 --> 00:29:00.799
Really like trying to keep her from entering too deeply into him.
00:29:01.200 --> 00:29:02.960
Like, please stay away, mate.
00:29:03.440 --> 00:29:13.680
Um meanwhile, like he has this like bitch ass like girlfriend wife thing who like just expresses herself in like the worst way possible.
00:29:13.839 --> 00:29:22.720
Like, I one of like a great quote that I love from Fleabag is like, to be fair, she's not um an evil stepmother, she's just a cunt.
00:29:22.880 --> 00:29:27.039
And I'm like, yeah, that's actually that's a really that's an accurate depiction.
00:29:27.119 --> 00:29:32.000
Like, she is just kind of a person who isn't good.
00:29:32.240 --> 00:29:37.200
Like, she's just we called her before when we were talking about this, we were like, she's Professor Umbridge.
00:29:37.359 --> 00:29:44.799
I don't know if people are Harry Potter listeners, but like she is very Professor Umbridge, like sickly sweet in what she says.
00:29:45.039 --> 00:29:48.400
Um, and the undertone is not nice, right?
00:29:48.559 --> 00:29:51.279
It's like there's always something that's like, how dare you?
00:29:51.440 --> 00:30:01.359
And Fleabag never says anything back to her, really, you know, like um not like she never like she never disturbs that.
00:30:01.599 --> 00:30:10.160
Um uh except she takes things, like, you know, but Well, you she did disturb it when remember she made her be a waitress at her like art gallery.
00:30:10.319 --> 00:30:11.920
And then she did she shatter a glass.
00:30:12.000 --> 00:30:16.160
I can't remember the exact scene, but I know that she kind of like was like, yeah, I'm done.
00:30:16.319 --> 00:30:18.319
Um, with Godmother.
00:30:18.640 --> 00:30:20.640
Her character, I think, fully took advantage.
00:30:20.799 --> 00:30:27.440
I don't know if you've heard like it's men marry the woman in front the woman in front of them when the timing is right.
00:30:27.519 --> 00:30:33.759
When they're finally ready to get married, they'll marry the first viable person in front of them, which I think that really simplifies men.
00:30:33.839 --> 00:30:36.480
And like, I don't think that's completely true.
00:30:37.039 --> 00:30:41.920
But I think for some men, it is, and I think she fully takes advantage of that.
00:30:42.160 --> 00:30:46.640
This man who lost his wife, uh, we assume he was in love with her.
00:30:46.799 --> 00:30:49.839
There seems to be some little hints of his own grief, right?
00:30:50.079 --> 00:30:56.559
She dies, and then godmother is just hovering around, taking care of the house, making things are okay for him.
00:30:56.799 --> 00:31:03.920
And I would argue out of convenience and his desire not to be alone, he's like, perfect.
00:31:04.000 --> 00:31:07.039
Okay, just place you right in this like empty spot in my household.
00:31:07.200 --> 00:31:13.759
And I think she did that in a calculated way of like, if I'm just proud 100%, like it'll be fine.
00:31:14.079 --> 00:31:16.400
She fucking went in for the kill.
00:31:16.480 --> 00:31:18.799
Like she knew it, and it's so gross.
00:31:18.960 --> 00:31:22.319
Like when you're the godmother, the best friend of the person who passed away.
00:31:22.480 --> 00:31:24.240
Like it was very obvious.
00:31:24.480 --> 00:31:27.839
But right, to take I it's not fair to take agency from him.
00:31:27.920 --> 00:31:30.000
Like he just like he was like, fine.
00:31:30.160 --> 00:31:31.519
I think women do it too, though.
00:31:31.680 --> 00:31:34.799
Like the number of people I've seen that I'm like, how did you end up with that dude?
00:31:34.880 --> 00:31:36.559
Like he was just the one who was there.
00:31:36.720 --> 00:31:38.880
Like, I don't think it's fair to just put that on men.
00:31:38.960 --> 00:31:41.279
I think that's just a self-esteem issue.
00:31:41.440 --> 00:31:45.359
Either internally, they're like, either they have a self-esteem issue or they're going through too much.
00:31:45.440 --> 00:31:51.680
And somebody just can consistently was physically or emotionally is just present.
00:31:52.079 --> 00:31:53.440
She shoved her way in.
00:31:54.160 --> 00:32:07.200
And um, and yeah, like I don't I he clearly is uh distraught over his wife passing um and doesn't know how to deal with it.
00:32:07.279 --> 00:32:16.559
And like having this other person manage everything for him is a lot easier than having to think about all those difficult things.
00:32:16.720 --> 00:32:19.119
Like flea bag is the exact opposite.
00:32:19.279 --> 00:32:23.039
Like, if she had somebody handling everything for her, which is what she says she wants, right?
00:32:23.119 --> 00:32:28.000
She literally says that to Priest, like, I just wish somebody was there to make every decision for me and do everything for me.
00:32:28.240 --> 00:32:30.400
Like, um, he he did that.
00:32:30.559 --> 00:32:34.079
Like he has somebody there making every decision for him, doing everything for him.
00:32:34.160 --> 00:32:35.119
And it's going fine.
00:32:35.200 --> 00:32:42.960
He's just with a miserable, mean, not nice lady who is not nice to his kids, which I find reprehensible.
00:32:43.039 --> 00:32:46.799
I've I feel like that's like the biggest ultimate betrayal of everything.
00:32:47.039 --> 00:32:50.480
We talked about like boo before, like what Martin did was terrible.
00:32:50.640 --> 00:32:52.480
I think that's an ultimate betrayal as well.
00:32:52.559 --> 00:33:07.359
But like to to like disregard your your daughters and allow this woman to treat them in a in a way that is anything but absolutely wonderful is unacceptable to me.
00:33:07.519 --> 00:33:09.440
Like, you treat my fucking dog wrong.
00:33:09.599 --> 00:33:11.359
I'll I'll smack you.
00:33:11.599 --> 00:33:12.000
Yeah.
00:33:12.480 --> 00:33:14.720
And I think that's I think that's really common too.
00:33:14.880 --> 00:33:27.519
Like, I think a lot of people have that experience of like they lose a parent and then their their remaining parent ends up with a partner that doesn't respect certain boundaries or treat them with with the same level of respect that that they should.
00:33:27.759 --> 00:33:35.440
But obviously Godmother's character is is an is another level of like vindictive and shitty to flee back and her sister.
00:33:35.759 --> 00:33:50.400
Do you remember like the the statue that she steals, like that little like hot little body, and then yeah, like it's a whole thing, and then it ends up being like Godmother says, like she made it like based off their mom.
00:33:51.279 --> 00:33:55.920
Oh my god, uh, uh it's so sick, horrible.
00:33:56.000 --> 00:33:58.000
It's so sick, it's so sick.
00:33:58.160 --> 00:34:00.319
So, like who's worse, godmother or Martin?
00:34:00.400 --> 00:34:03.039
Like, they're both just they're they're equivalent.
00:34:04.559 --> 00:34:05.519
Yeah, yeah.
00:34:05.680 --> 00:34:10.480
And I feel like that is like it's like sister is like dad.
00:34:10.960 --> 00:34:13.440
Picks a partner, Martin, like godmother.
00:34:13.679 --> 00:34:15.519
Ooh, I never thought about that.
00:34:16.239 --> 00:34:18.559
Pretty hard, like pretty wild.
00:34:18.639 --> 00:34:25.199
And and finally, maybe Claire is gonna find something better in in in male Claire, right?
00:34:25.519 --> 00:34:29.039
But like that's the hope, that's the hope of season two, right?
00:34:29.199 --> 00:34:30.880
Season two brings so much hope.
00:34:31.199 --> 00:34:33.280
Um, it's such a fucking good show.
00:34:33.440 --> 00:34:35.039
Holy shit, so good.
00:34:38.719 --> 00:34:50.079
All right, so as we go to close out our conversation on fleabag, um, part of our season one approach is we're asking a ritual question at the end of every episode.
00:34:50.320 --> 00:34:54.239
And this season we're asking the question, who needs this story right now?
00:34:54.480 --> 00:35:00.480
And so I'm curious your thoughts on who who maybe hasn't seen Fleabag, who needs it.
00:35:00.800 --> 00:35:09.199
I think if you are somebody who needs a hit of romantic, then watch Fleabag.
00:35:09.360 --> 00:35:16.320
Like, if you I feel like there's nothing out there that hits quite the same way um as fleabag does.
00:35:16.480 --> 00:35:18.719
I mean, I can't think of anything else.
00:35:18.800 --> 00:35:22.079
I mean, if you're gonna compare the notebook, like it's annoying, they fight too much.
00:35:22.159 --> 00:35:23.199
Like, I don't like it.
00:35:23.360 --> 00:35:26.480
Like, there is nothing that hits quite the same way.
00:35:26.559 --> 00:35:33.280
So if you want some romance, you want to read real romance and not like fairy porn, which I read, so no judgment.
00:35:33.440 --> 00:35:39.840
Um, or like I don't know what else is out there, a million different things that's not really real romance.
00:35:40.000 --> 00:35:46.239
Like again, Twilight, where there's two men fighting over the same chick, which is every single Christmas movie, too, if you look at them.
00:35:46.480 --> 00:35:49.679
Um, this is this is you need this.
00:35:49.840 --> 00:35:52.719
Take it, read it, watch it, enjoy it.
00:35:52.960 --> 00:35:53.360
Mm-hmm.
00:35:53.519 --> 00:35:54.639
No, I I completely agree.
00:35:54.719 --> 00:36:04.960
I feel like I also feel like anyone who is um maybe going through a breakup that maybe they're not breaking up due to lack of love, you know.
00:36:05.039 --> 00:36:11.519
Like I think something about like the priest and the way he made a choice and she has to accept it and move on.
00:36:11.679 --> 00:36:25.039
I think I think there's a really like beautiful message there of like you can love someone and it not be the person you're gonna spend your life with, and that's okay, and you can still like appreciate the love that you were given during it.
00:36:25.280 --> 00:36:27.199
That's so beautiful.
00:36:27.519 --> 00:36:30.559
That's hard to do, but that's beautiful.
00:36:33.760 --> 00:36:37.840
Thank you again to Steph for coming on and getting obsessed with flea bag with me.
00:36:38.000 --> 00:36:50.480
If this episode meant something to you or if it made you think a little bit differently about flea bag or even other stories you love, um, I hope you'll share it with someone, leave a review, or find us anywhere you like to spend time online.
00:36:50.800 --> 00:36:52.000
I'm Alyssa Much.
00:36:52.159 --> 00:36:56.480
This is Story Obsessed, and maybe there's a story you've been meaning to come back to.
00:36:56.639 --> 00:36:58.159
I'll see you next time.
00:37:01.280 --> 00:37:02.800
That was awesome, Alyssa.
00:37:04.159 --> 00:37:16.639
It was so funny.
