Quiet, Please - "Is This Murder?" (Old Time Radio, 1949)

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An inventor of artificial limbs summons a lawyer to his
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darkened home, seeking legal advice over what may constitute murder.
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That is the opening situation in Quiet, Please! Is This Murder?,
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episode 83, first heard on ABC on January 16, 1949.
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Willis Cooper wrote and directed the program, with Ernest Chappell
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as Ernest, Dan O'Herlihy as Dan, and Joyce Gordon as Joyce.
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The inventor's account involves Dan, Joyce, and a mechanical man
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assembled from advanced prosthetic parts. Mary Shelley's Frankenstein enters the
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conversation as the question of placing a living human brain
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in a synthetic body arises. And now, we return to
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the original broadcast.
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Quiet, please. Quiet, please.
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The American Broadcasting Company presents Quiet, Please, which is written
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and directed by Willis Cooper and which features Ernest Chappell.
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Quiet, Please for today is called Is This Murder?
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Thank you very much for coming to see me. I
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would have come to your office, but... I'm sorry, infirmities
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prevent my going out.
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That's why I have to have it so dark in here, too.
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I hope you won't mind. Thank you to sit down.
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Just put your coat on the chair there. Anywhere. Would
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you care for a drink?
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There's some excellent sherry there on the sideboard. At least
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I've been told it's excellent.
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Amontillado, I think. I don't indulge myself, but you help yourself.
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Please do. Amontillado.
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Like the stuff that the good Montresor was drowned in
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and posed a delightful story, the cask of Amontillado. You
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remember the story, of course.
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Yes. Well, help yourself. I asked you to come here
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because I think I need some legal advice. About murder,
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I'm afraid. Yes, quite.
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Yes. I'm afraid I'm a little hazy about things legal, so.
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Do you mind? Like the sherry? I've been told it's excellent.
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Help yourself, do. Wait. I hardly know where to start, but....
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That door?
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That's my workshop. I haven't been in there in quite
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some time. Artificial limbs... Rather unusual ones, if I do
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say so myself. I've invented a few devices, you see,
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and they've been quite successful. Oh, yes. A great many
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persons wear.
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Hands, arms, legs, and so on that I invented.
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You didn't know my assistant, of course. Well, I don't know.
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I don't know where he is. As a matter of fact,
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it's Dan I wanted to talk to you about.
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Dan and Joyce. Joyce was his sweetheart. No. No, I
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didn't murder them. It's rather an awkward story to tell.
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Are you sure you're comfortable? Good. Have you ever read
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the works of Mally Wollstonecraft Shelley? Never heard of her? Well,
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she was the wife of the poet Percy Bysshe Shelley.
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She was a novelist.
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She died in 1890, 30, 60 years ago.
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But I'm afraid one of her novels is more or less....
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Responsible for what I'm going to ask you about. You don't...
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I mean, you aren't familiar with her works. Why, the
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best-known novel she wrote was Frankenstein.
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Frankenstein. Oh, it's nothing at all like the Frankenstein you've
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seen in pictures.
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No Boris Karloff, no Bela Lugosi with a flageolet, no
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weird castles.
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But it's a powerful book with a very important message.
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You haven't read it? Well, perhaps you ought to.
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I was talking with Dan about it one day in.
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The workshop there. We could just about make us a
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monster with all this equipment, Dan. Not a monster, Dan,
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old boy.
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I did better than Mr.
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Frankenstein did. At least mine would be good looking. Wouldn't
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need any spare parts of dead people, either.
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No, indeed.
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How'd you get it to work, though? That's the problem.
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His new arm almost has its own brain. Not much
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like the one that Lionel Atwell, was that his name? Yes,
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Lionel Atwell. Wore in the picture.
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Well, he had to manipulate with his other hand.
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That's good looking, too. Thanks. No good without a brain
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and some live muscles to put it to work, though,
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is it? Nothing is. That's an intriguing thought. Isn't it? What? The...
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The synthetic man. Wouldn't have to feed him, wouldn't have
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to pay him wages. Great idea. And he'd be good
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and strong. Duralumin arms and legs. Chrome steel fingers and
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plastic muscles. Chromium plated head with wide angle lenses for eyes.
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Microphones for ears. And what for a brain? You know
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what Frankenstein used. A brain. The wrong kind of brain.
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That was in the picture. He got a criminal brain
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by mistake, remember?
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I wonder what would have happened if he'd got a
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good brain. You've got the book and the pictures. Mixed up, boy.
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All right.
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But what would happen if you could make a synthetic
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man and put a real good human brain in it, huh?
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Wouldn't it be something? Wouldn't it be.
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Just think of muscles that never tire.
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A man, a thinking man, that couldn't be harmed by disease.
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That would be capable of superhuman things and that would
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live forever.
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Nice. Nice.
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But impracticable boy.
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I wonder. Well, now, look, Dan, don't you go messing
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up my nice, clean workshop with mechanical men. Ordinary ones
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are trouble enough. That's what Joyce thinks, too. Get to work, boy.
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And be careful with that elbow, will you? It bends
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the other way. Here, try some more sherry. I'm told
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it's acceptable. Oh, yes. Murder they were talking about. Let
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me see.
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Let me collect my thoughts.
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Oh, yes, yes.
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This first conversation that I've repeated to you took place
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about six months ago.
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I beg your pardon? Where is Dan? I'm sure I
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haven't the faintest idea. If you don't mind, I like
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to be orderly. Methodical. I think the next.
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Occurrence was Joyce's visit to me. Or rather, I met
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her in the cocktail lounge downtown.
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Yeah, they haven't been there in a long time. I
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dropped in one afternoon. It was three or four weeks later.
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And I was drinking a lemonade out of number. My,
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how long it's been since I've had a lemonade. Oh, no, no,
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no thanks, no, Sherry. But you help yourself. Can you
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find a bottle, all right?
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It's so dark in here, but I'm afraid I have
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to have it that way. Forgive me, do.
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Well, I was sitting quietly, drinking my lemonade, and she
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suddenly appeared alongside me, sat down at the table before
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I saw her almost.
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Why, Joyce, I said. Why, Joyce. Hello, Ernest.
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What are you drinking?
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Lemonade.
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Of course.
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Would you have one? No, thanks. I've got to run.
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But do have one.
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No, I had a drink. I'm just leaving. Matter of fact,
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I had two drinks. Three, if you must know. I
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don't want any more. Why, what's the matter? Dan stood
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me up again. Dan? Stood you up? Third time in
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a week now. Why, how come, Joyce? I thought you were...
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You tell me. What? What? I'm sure I don't know.
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You mean you aren't making him work nights.
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At the workshop? I certainly am not. Well, that's where
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he is, all right. At the workshop. That's what he says. Joyce,
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my dear, the workshop's right in my own home. If
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Dan has been in there.
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Oh.
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Oh, my goodness. Now, what do I say? If he
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isn't at the shop, where is he? Oh, I don't know.
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Look at him. I happen to love that guy. I'd
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stake my life, choice he isn't out with somebody else.
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Another girl, I mean.
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For his sake, I hope he's not on there. Well, I...
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Because if I catch him cheating on me, do you
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know what I'll do? I'll murder.
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Him.
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I beg your pardon?
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No, she didn't murder him. I'm sorry to keep you
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in suspense, but I'm afraid I'll have to tell you
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the story in my own way, if you please.
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Well, Joyce went away.
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And I thought to myself, my goodness, that Dan is
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a very foolish fellow.
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That's a very attractive girl, I said to myself.
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Dan oughtn't to play fast and loose with her. And
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she loves him too, I said to myself. But I
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shuddered a little when I said it.
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I didn't like the way she said, I'll murder him. No, sir.
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I didn't like it.
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But she was a very attractive girl.
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But, yes, I know I said was a very attractive girl.
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Slip of the tongue, sir, as far as I know
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she still is. Well, anyway, I taxed Stan with it
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the next morning.
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Dan, I said.
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Dan, you look tired.
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I am tired, Ernest. Sleeping all right? All right. Here
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you've been working nights. Who told you that?
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Joyce.
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Oh. Said you were working here at the shop. She did.
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I know you haven't been working here at the shop.
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Because I'd have known it. Of course you would. Have
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you been working? If I hadn't been on my own time, Ernest.
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Joyce seems to think it's her time, too. It does, huh?
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What are you up to, Dan?
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Listen, Ernest, do I ever pry into your affairs?
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Now you don't need to take that tone with me, Dan. I....
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Dan, that girl loves you.
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So what? Well, not really, Dan. I'm sorry, Ernest, but
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I've got so many things to think about, and.
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I.
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I'm sorry. Can I help you, Dan? You think I've
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gone crazy? You've never shown any signs of it, old boy. Well...
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All right. Let's get to work.
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But I really do think you ought to give more
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consideration to Joyce, old boy.
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Listen, Ernest. Yeah? You know that talk we had a
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few weeks ago? Talk? Frankenstein. Frankenstein? Oh. That's right. Have
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you been letting that play on your mind, then? I've
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done more than that. Come here. Why, what? Come here.
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Come here.
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Well, I'll be... I told you I've done more than
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just think.
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Do you know what he'd done?
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I looked. A gleaming chromium plate at the head.
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Duralumin arms and legs.
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And the fingers are high-test chrome steel, Ernest. I used
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your industrial-type hands, you see.
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I haven't installed the lenses for the eyes, but there's
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the selenium cells for light to react on.
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I've got two small microphones for the ears.
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And look, the hands and arms and the legs are
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controlled by this solenoid.
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Why, you're a fool, Dan. Sure. But isn't he a beauty, Ernest?
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You're a fool.
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If he only had a brain. Who's that? You idiot.
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Think so, huh?
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I'll go.
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Lock that thing up. It's locked up. Who is it? Why,
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good morning, Joyce.
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Is Dan here?
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Oh, there he is. Well, hello, Dan. Hello. I wonder
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if you remember we had a date last night. I'm sorry,
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I was busy. Busy? Where, here? Yeah, here. Was he here, Ernest? Yes.
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He was here. Oh. Alone? Yeah. Well, he was. Well?
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He was alone, Joyce. I don't believe it. Now, look here, Joyce.
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Tell her, Dan. Listen.
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Tell me what?
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Tell me what, Dan? Look, this is all foolishness. Joyce, he...
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Cut it out, Ernest. Go ahead, Ernest. I tell you, Dan.
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Hold it, Dan. Look here, Joyce.
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Dan's been working on a project of his own.
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What's her name? It isn't her, Joyce.
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No?
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Sure, Dan. Now look here. Stop being a fool. Sure, Dan.
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Unlock the cabinet there. Don't you see you're being a fool, Dan?
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Open the cabinet. I don't want to. Well.
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What in the world is that?
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It's a mechanical.
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It's a monster.
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Oh, who do you think you are, Dan Frankenstein? I
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told you. Let's see it. Does it work? It certainly
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does work. Can it walk? It's made out of some
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of the artificial limbs I invented. And a lot of
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other things, too. Can it talk?
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Bring it out, Dan.
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It can't talk yet. Why, how marvelous. Make it move, Dan.
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Look out, I'll make it raise its arms. Press this
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button here. See? The other arm, Dan. Why, how wonderful.
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Dan!
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Dan! Yes. That was the first mishap.
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That mechanical arm, that arm of sturdy Duralumin, with the
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fingers of chrome steel, smashed.
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Down in the back of Dan's neck like a sledgehammer. Oh, no,
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he wasn't killed. That's not the murder I'm going to
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ask you about.
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He was paralyzed. That is, his legs were paralyzed. He
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was in the hospital three and a half months. The
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doctors did everything they could for him, but there wasn't
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anything that.
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Really could be done. He was helpless. Do you have
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another glass of the sherry? It's excellent, I'm told.
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Dan used to drink it. Dan Joyce. Joyce loved it. What?
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Yes, yes, I know. I didn't mean to use the
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past tense. I suppose she still loved it. No. No. No, sir, I...
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I assure you, I'm telling you. What do they say
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in court? The truth, the whole truth, and nothing but
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the truth. Yes, indeed.
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Oh, why, we brought him back here, of course. No relatives,
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so far as I know. And we were very close,
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Dan and I. Oh, yes, Joyce was here frequently. Yeah,
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that girl really loved.
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Loves that boy. I suppose it was really pretty frightful
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having to lie in bed all the time, unable to move.
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Joyce used to stay here all day and sit with him.
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Then at night, I'd come in his room and the
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three of us would sit around and talk. Mostly about robots,
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mechanical men, monsters. And I brought the man, the machine,
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into his room so we could tinker with it.
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While we talked. Then we talked a great deal about it.
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How do you know it won't work if we put
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a brain in it, Ernest? It isn't possible, Dan. Frankenstein's worked. Dan,
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that's a story.
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Maybe.
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Maybe it's true. How would you get a brain, Dan?
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Frankenstein got a brain.
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And look what happened.
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That was a criminal brain. Look, Dan. Even if you could,
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by some miracle, attach a brain to this.
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Thing, it'd work.
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But it wouldn't work right.
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Why, Ernest?
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Because man has no business playing around with such things.
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You think any brain would turn out to be evil.
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Just to punish a man for trying to create a
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superhuman thing like this?
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That's exactly what I think. Where would you get a brain, Dan?
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I don't know. Stop talking this nonsense. The thing is, Ernest,
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I don't think it's nothing. Well, it is. Where would
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you get a brain? If I knew a doctor. Well,
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you don't. How would you know the brain wouldn't be evil?
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I'd make sure of that. How? I'd select it very carefully.
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Will you stop talking about this? Scare you, Ernest. You
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don't have to be so gruesome. I'd pick a woman's brain,
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I think. Women are smarter than men. Dick. Want to
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lend me a brain, Joyce? Well, I should say not.
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You'd have a fine time, Joyce. You'd live forever. I
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don't want to live forever. Nothing could hurt you. You
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could do anything you wanted. And have to live in
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that metal skeleton?
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No, thanks.
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You'd never be hungry. I like being hungry. It's too
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much fun to eat and drink. Never be tired. Yeah,
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I like to be tired. tired, boy. Good night's sleep.
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I wish I could put my own brain into it.
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Then I could get up and walk around. Do things.
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Go places. Oh, stop this morbid talk. This is a
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play toy, Dan. You talk as if it's coming to
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life any minute. All it needs is a good brain, Ernest.
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Well, I'll tell you what I'll do, Dan. You tell
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me where to get a brain and I'll get.
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It for you. And we'll make a million dollars. How's that? Well,
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good night. I'm going home.
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Gee, I'd certainly hate to have Frankenstein here put his
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arms around me.
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Here's this murder. I mean, suppose a man does take
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a human brain and put it into the frame of
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a mechanical rubbant, charge it with colloids that simulate blood
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in the very brain structure itself.
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Suppose he does it successfully. Is this murder? No. Wait
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before you answer. Suppose that the brain goes right on living.
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Suppose that the operation, if you want to call it
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an operation, suppose it works. The brain will never die.
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Life goes on. The only thing that's missing is the
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body it once inhabited. Is this murder?
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The only effect is that somehow or other, while it's
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in the body, the brain is capable of fine, noble
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feelings of love, affection, friendship, Of all the virtues.
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In.
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Addition to all the vices... Yes, that's true, but... But
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when it's transplanted... Well, look at the Frankenstein story... When
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it's transplanted, the virtues are missing....
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Only the vices remain.
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Intelligence... Yes... Awareness... Sentience... But good is gone... When the
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evil remains. But that's not the question, sir. If the
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body only is killed and the mind survives forever, is
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this murder? You don't have to answer yet. Oh, you
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think you know what I'm driving at.
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Well, we'll see.
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Now that Dr. Sherry do, I've almost finished. Then you
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can judge.
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Because I have another question for you. This final thing
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happened the night before last. I went into Dan's room.
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He was soldering a wire onto the round, chromium-plated head
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of this thing, this monster. Joyce was sitting alongside him,
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watching closely. She didn't see Dan wink at me as
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I closed the door. Hello, Ernest. How do you feel, Dan? Me?
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I feel fine. How are you, Joyce? I've got a
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little headache, Ernest. I'm sorry. Have an aspirin. I took one.
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Too bad, dear. Well, how's it going, Dan? I'm more
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convinced than ever, Ernest. If you only had a brain.
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If I only had a brain. Joyce, I wish you
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could do something to snap this fellow out of this.
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Why?
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Why? Because, uh, are you starting to believe this nonsense, Joyce? Well,
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I don't think it's nonsense, Ernest. You see, she's got
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a brain, Ernest. Well, certainly she... Oh, Dan. I'm going
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to take that thing away from you. Take away my
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pretty Frankenstein? Oh, well, I should say you're not. Now, Dan, listen.
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I don't want to say this, but I'm afraid... I mean, Joyce,
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don't you... I mean, won't you help me? Help you what?
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Get Dan's mind off this thing, I mean. No, she won't. Joyce, I...
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Dan could only get a brain. Joyce. Ernest. Won't you
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help me? I will not. Please, Ernest. It's all ready now.
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All it needs.
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Stop that.
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Don't, Ernest. Come on, Ernest. Help me. I won't. Ernest.
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Joyce.
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Do you know what he's going to do?
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What?
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He's going to... Ernest. I know what you're going to do.
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I know what's in your mind and I won't help you. I...
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What's he going to do, Ernest? What's... What's in his mind?
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Come here, Joyce. Lean over here. Dan, darling. Closer. Joyce.
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No, stop.
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Stop, Dan. Stop!
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And when I came to, all there was in my
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mind was a confused memory.
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Of a pain in my throat and bright lights. Unconfused
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voices in Joyce's laughter.
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I tried hard to think.
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I was dazed. I found I was lying on the floor.
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I got up.
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Slowly.
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I saw Dan still lying on the bed. He was
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smiling at me.
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He said something. Yeah, well, I couldn't make it out.
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And then I heard his voice. How do you see it? Ernest.
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And I tried to answer. And it was a long
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time before my voice came. And finally I said, I said,
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where's Joyce?
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Why, here I am. Frankenstein.
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And I stretched out my hand to steady myself. And
400
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I looked at my hand. Arms and legs of Duralumin.
401
00:25:46.650 --> 00:25:48.569
Fingers of chromium steel.
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And I looked in the mirror.
403
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And I saw a round chromium-plated head with lenses for eyes.
404
00:25:59.930 --> 00:26:03.690
You can turn on the light now. If you want to.
405
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I ask you the question again. Is this murder? It is.
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And if a steel and derailment robot takes a life,
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or more than one life, is this murder?
408
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Because I have been murdered, you say. I do not live.
409
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I cannot commit murder.
410
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Very well.
411
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I told you how the force of evil has taken
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hold of my brain. No, I didn't kill Dan.
413
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Nor Joyce.
414
00:26:46.849 --> 00:26:47.329
Not yet.
415
00:26:49.789 --> 00:26:53.230
I told you I didn't know where they are.
416
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I do.
417
00:26:57.730 --> 00:26:58.990
You're in the workshop back there.
418
00:26:59.049 --> 00:27:03.150
I locked her in the closet where my.
419
00:27:03.130 --> 00:27:10.779
Body used to be. why he's paralyzed remember.
420
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His hands are strong but against chrome steel it won't
421
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be murder will it.
422
00:27:27.390 --> 00:27:32.430
It won't be murder either when I kill you first
423
00:27:34.849 --> 00:27:42.359
thank you sir No, there isn't any more, Sherry. Just these.
424
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The title of today's Quiet.
425
00:28:10.309 --> 00:28:12.329
Please story is.
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Is This Murder?
427
00:28:14.990 --> 00:28:17.279
It was written and directed by Willis Cooper.
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The man who.
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00:28:18.170 --> 00:28:20.339
Spoke to you was Ernest Chappell.
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And the others were Joyce... Gordon... And Dan.
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00:28:27.000 --> 00:28:31.039
O'Hurley. As usual, the music for Quiet Please is played
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00:28:31.079 --> 00:28:34.619
by Albert Berman. Now, for the word about next week,
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here is our writer-director... Willis Cooper. Thank you for listening
434
00:28:39.470 --> 00:28:40.930
to Quietly.
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00:28:41.190 --> 00:28:43.440
For next week, I have a story for you called
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00:28:43.660 --> 00:28:44.920
Summer Goodbye.
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00:28:54.019 --> 00:28:55.900
And so until next week at the same time, I
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am quietly yours, Ernest Chappell. And now a listening reminder.
439
00:29:11.170 --> 00:29:14.829
For predictions that have a 77% chance of coming true,
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00:29:15.250 --> 00:29:19.180
and even more, listen to Drew Pearson on ABC tonight.
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00:29:19.940 --> 00:29:24.240
That's ABC, Drew Pearson, tonight. This is ABC, the American
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00:29:24.259 --> 00:29:25.309
Broadcasting Company.
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We leave Quiet, Please with episode 83, Is This Murder?
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Follow Quiet, Please for more classic mystery and supernatural radio.