Shandel Sutherland 00:05
Welcome to lead for clarity, where we help you, your team and your organization get to their next level with clarity and focusing on what matters. My name is Shandel Sutherland, and I'm here with Melanie Montgomery. Melanie, we are in the last two weeks of 2023. We are headed smack dab in 2024. What are you excited about?
Melanie Montgomery 00:27
Oh, man, I'm excited for traveling.
Shandel Sutherland 00:30
Yeah, yeah, man. Where are you going?
Melanie Montgomery 00:32
Cambodia?
Shandel Sutherland 00:33
Oh, that's awesome. I love it. I love it. I love it. Well, I love this week before Christmas after Christmas, where it is so chaotic. But the day that all those presents are open, and everyone has gone home, and you've had enough Christmas cookies. This is the life coach heaven. Because what we want to do this week is we want you listening and being prepared for setting your goals for 2024. This is for you, listeners. We love you listeners. And we want to share with you some do's and don'ts of goal setting. I think sometimes people get a strategic plan in mind. And yes, you need that. And once you get the plan in place, you got to be focused the thought that's what we're we're aiming for, but flexible. So do you have anything to add to that? Melanie?
Melanie Montgomery 01:25
Yeah, I just want to say right off the bat that a lot of times when I talk about goal setting, I get a lot of eye rolls, and it feels simple. But really, this topic has so much depth, and we're gonna frame it in a way that really helps you move forward, and that you don't work on something for a few weeks and the new year and then end up reverting back. So we're really going to help you build that foundation have the tools to really achieve what it is that you want to achieve.
Shandel Sutherland 01:54
And it really fits in with what we've been talking about this whole season, which is about the process of sustainable growth. And that has everything to do with setting your intentions. I love the word intention. So we want to give the listeners an example of a symptom versus the cause for the new year. And why because it needs to be based on your values. We are very, very adamant about this Shandel Group that you don't just set goals, because you got a problem in your life. You want your goals to be very connected to your values and what matters most to you. So instead of saying, Oh, my goodness, I need to lose 10 pounds. Well, why? Okay, because I value my health, I value my family, I want to go on adventures, everything has to be tied back to right there in that center of that process wheel, which is our values.
Melanie Montgomery 02:51
And as we're working at the very beginning of the goal setting process, we really have to start digging into what is the symptom, and what is a cause. So often we start focusing on this goal, this thing that we really want, but when I start digging into it, there's something more fundamental that's deeper, that if we focus on that, instead, it will have a lot of exponential effect in all aspects of our lives. Because we only have a finite amount of time and energy, we want our goal to be really intentional and have the most impact.
Shandel Sutherland 03:24
So we want to give the listeners an example of a symptom versus the cause.
Melanie Montgomery 03:29
So a lot of times when we're looking at an issue, we start thinking, you know, customer service, that's something that we need to fix the problem within our organization, we need to give our team members more customer service training. But customer service is probably a symptom of a deeper cause. Maybe our morale is not great, and our team members are not happy. And they don't really want to provide great customer service because they're frustrated within their roles. Or maybe they need some type of a tool. Maybe we need to help them with communication, maybe we need to help them understand what we're selling. And so we have to dig into why are we seeing our customer service struggle? And what do we need to focus on in order to create a healthier team that then will create more happy customers?
Shandel Sutherland 04:18
That's so good, Melanie, I'm right with ya. So Melanie, I know you have a passion for going through and helping people set SMART goals. And we do it a little different here at Shandel Group. And we always say if they want to email you Melanie@ShandelGroup.com, you will send them this form. But let's go over it and give people some hints. So maybe if they're driving, they can start thinking about what does 2024 really look like for me?
Melanie Montgomery 04:44
If you happen to be watching on YouTube, I'm going to share my screen so we can walk through this worksheet together. So as Shandel said, we do smart goals a little bit differently here at Shandel Group. We added a few extra components to make sure that we're really thinking In through our goals and how they are going to come about. So smart goals are specific. They're measurable, they're achievable. We anticipate barriers, they're relevant and time bound. And we make sure to celebrate our milestones. So I'm going to dig into each of these components and really help us understand how to work through these pieces. So the first one is that we need to get really specific, what is it that we want to achieve? And this is where we need to dive into what is the symptom? versus what is the cause? What is it that I want to achieve that will have that exponential effect on my life? I am thinking that I want to lose weight. Do I want to eat healthier? Do I want to, you know, look different? What is it exactly that I want to achieve? And really digging into what does that look like for me?
Shandel Sutherland 05:54
You really are looking at the why why is this important? What do you want? But it's got to be connected to that why? Yeah, exactly.
Melanie Montgomery 06:01
Yes, yes. Then we want to make it measurable. We want to quantify what success looks like and what metrics we will use to measure our goal. Now going back to that weight loss example, am I going to look at well, if I lose 10 pounds, that's what it's going to be? Am I going to go down and adjust size? What is it that I'm actually going to achieve? And what is it that I want the outcome to be? What are those metrics, and sometimes the metrics are things that we just have to do maybe a daily check in or weekly check in for some of those things that are harder to quantify. But we want to say, you know, we are going to do a self check. I know I set a goal recently that was being better about using my planner, instead of just writing things on a sticky note. I had a process where every day every week, I would check in with myself to say how well was I doing? And that was that metric that I was looking at. So when we're looking at the measurable component, we're really looking at what does success look like?
Shandel Sutherland 07:03
That's a reason it's so important that we know we're successful is because I think we're always in this mode of achieving or not achieving. And I always really think this is important and as measurable part, because sometimes the goal changes along the way. And that's a good thing. But we have to know and the measurement is going to help us know, and this is that focus but flexible piece, we're going after this, but the metric needs to change so that we stay on task, or we abandon it. But at least we know we're making progress.
Melanie Montgomery 07:36
And if we don't have a measurable goal, and we don't have quantifiable metrics, a month down the road, we're like, Am I making progress? I don't know. You know, where should I?
Shandel Sutherland 07:47
Yeah, because a month in is the hardest part. Well, the hardest part after doing it for a week, so like, there's these different parts that are hard. Alright, let's go on to the A.
Melanie Montgomery 07:57
So the next one is make sure that it's achievable. So here we want to say is our goal realistic? If you're like me, you like to take on the entire world and accomplish everything overnight. And so we have to really say, Is this actually something that I can achieve in this amount of time? And really dig into how will I get there? And what are the essential steps? So if my goal is to lose 10 pounds, am I going to change the way that I eat? Am I going to go to the gym? How am I actually going to accomplish that and really figure out what are those steps to make sure that I will be able to get there.
Shandel Sutherland 08:33
And I still like this one really makes you be more creative. You know, like, okay, for one month, I'm going to track workouts for the next month, I'm going to count calories. Sometimes we need other people even to speak into the steps that we can take. We want to do something new and creative. So I think this is a really important thing to also get other people involved. But in the end, you gotta want to do it.
Melanie Montgomery 08:57
Yeah, and this is where self awareness is so important. Because we know ourselves, Well, we know what we might need. And we can create as much or as little structure as we need to be able to be successful. And I know for some things I really need like that accountability partner. And for other things, I'm just more intrinsically motivated can do it. So we really have to figure out what does that look like.
Melanie Montgomery 09:19
So our next one is anticipate barriers here, we really want to look at what might stand in the way and how will we overcome these obstacles. This is one that we added into our smart goals. We want to start thinking ahead that we're going to have a mindset of growth of opportunity of challenge because things are going to come up, things are going to happen and we want to be ready to overcome those obstacles and not just say, Oh, I'm stuck. I can't get over this. Something came up and really looking at when something happens. What are we going to do? So going back to this weight loss example, if I get sick and I'm not able to go to the gym for a week how Am I going to overcome that? Am I going to go extra on another day? Am I going to eat different? What happens if I get super busy at work? And I don't have time to go before work? Then am I going to change my eating habits? Am I going to choose another time? So really thinking through what might happen? What does my life look like? And what are the challenges that I typically face? And what am I going to do in the face of that?
Shandel Sutherland 10:24
I think that this is another reason why having community around you to help you set your goals is key. Because I know like, I'm really good at coming up with ideas. Now, I don't really like to follow them all the way through, right. So that's where I need the second a, well, the barrier is I'm gonna get bored and want to do something else. And so I feel like that is a time that especially using your coach, or your husband or anyone to help you is key here. We don't want to be doing these alone.
Melanie Montgomery 10:55
Yeah, absolutely. So the next one is that we want to set relevant goals. Here, we want to dig even further into why do you want to achieve this goal? And what impact will success have? So if my goal is to lose weight? Do I want to do this because I really just want to be healthier? I want to feel better. And if I get to that point, I think that will have a bigger impact on my energy level on my relationships on my ability to focus when we're looking at this. So that's when we're digging into is my goal going to have that exponential effect? Is it going to make a big difference in my life in the way that I really want it to?
Shandel Sutherland 11:32
I love the book called The One Thing and really ask yourself, what is the one thing that I can do that I can achieve? It'll help make all of these other issues really go away? And I think that's the opportunity right there in that relevant? Is this going to help me? Is that the one thing I need to do? And man, when you can get clear on that? Then you kind of get this shot of energy? Yes, this will unlock everything else for me of love that?
Melanie Montgomery 12:01
Yes, definitely. And then we look at make it time bound? When will we measure and reevaluate your goal? And what checkpoints do you need? Part of this is when do we need to reevaluate? So we're saying that this is not stagnant, we can change if we need to. So say maybe I decided to lose 15 pounds in three months. And I'm gonna evaluate once a week, but really, I'm gonna sit down once a month and check in on where I'm at. Well, after that one month, if I've only lost two pounds, maybe I need to say maybe this isn't the right metric. Maybe I'm gaining muscle and losing fat. And so I'm looking the way I want. But it's not actually I'm not measuring up the way that I want to, we have to give ourselves the freedom to have pivots in this stage, to say, am I in the right direction? Do I need to make changes? Maybe I need to change my diet more than I thought I would. Maybe I don't have as much time to dedicate to the gym. And so we really want to say when am I checking in? And how do I know when I'm going to pivot and what those checkpoints are?
Shandel Sutherland 13:05
That's so good. Yeah, I call all goal setting, like I said before, focused and flexible. And this allows that flexibility, without going off the rails. And being able to do this, we have to have milestones, we also need to celebrate them as we go along. Right, Melanie?
Melanie Montgomery 13:21
Yep. And that's the next piece is, don't forget to celebrate yourself and your milestones. So here we really need to dig in, what are my milestones? What are those milestones that I am looking forward to hitting that come before the big goal? So maybe that's I'm gonna lose five pounds, maybe that's, I'm going to fit into this pair of jeans that I haven't worn in a year. What is it that I'm going to celebrate? This might actually be the hardest part of this goal setting is how are you going to celebrate them? How are you going to celebrate yourself? I know for me and a lot of people that I work with, we don't like celebrating ourselves, we don't like to bring attention to what we're doing. Asking that question. What do you do to celebrate? What will you do to celebrate is a big one and really finding an answer to that because a lot of time it's like I don't know, like pat on the back. Cool. But do something, give yourself some type of a reward. If you lost five pounds, maybe you get to go buy a new outfit? What does that look like where you can really celebrate your accomplishments and lean in in those moments?
Shandel Sutherland 14:26
I love that. And I think another thing is if you don't do well and celebrating are kind of thinking through that. I've done this before it was so helpful and goal setting. I love reading people's Christmas letters. So if you have one, send it to me. I read them all I love them because you just get this whole year. What happened and the smaller the print, the better. I have these readers who will help me out. But my point is in that sometimes a really helpful tool is if you write your 2024 letter now before it is even 2024 Are you go well this year, and it's a creative way to kind of write what did you do about this goal. And sometimes when we just get into a different part of our brain, which that's much a right brain activity, you can believe the solutions that our brain will give to us.
Melanie Montgomery 15:18
I love that
Shandel Sutherland 15:18
It's really fun. So what are some other things that we can help our listeners with to achieve their goals and their goal setting? And what can we do Melanie what other hints can we give them?
Melanie Montgomery 15:29
I think being able to talk about your goals with someone can be really, really helpful. I know that when I set something for myself, I don't always follow through with it, because I'm only accountable to myself, which I shouldn't be more accountable to myself than I am to others. But when I have that check in, and that person is asking me, how are you doing? I then push myself harder to make sure that I'm doing it having that person can be really, really helpful to just keep us on track and, and keep us accountable.
Shandel Sutherland 16:00
So good. I'm going to be writing in our newsletter. So folks, if you do not get our newsletter, be sure and go to just Shawn dell.com. And you can get it or just email us, I'm going to be talking about how you reflect on your year. And how do you use that to set goals. We're gonna get you both in the written form and here on the podcast and give you different tools. So that no matter how you're wired or what your need is, we're going to help you reach these goals. Right, Melanie? Absolutely. Yes. So Melanie, what does it look like when one of your clients is successful? What have you seen in coaching people to get to their next level using this tool?
Melanie Montgomery 16:41
That's such a great question. Within our coaching program, I have weekly check ins where they let me know how they're doing on each of their goals, and also just how they're doing as a person. What I've seen as most successful is just a lot of reflection week to week, and being compassionate with themselves and saying, Here's what I learned, here's what I grew, but really pushing through it. One example that comes to mind is Scott, he and I worked really hard on five. Yes, yes, yes, Scott. Yes,
Shandel Sutherland 17:10
you did wonderful in your coaching, okay, I can't wait to hear this.
Melanie Montgomery 17:13
Yes, he and I worked really diligently to figure out what the best goal would be for him. He wanted to do a better job within the role that he was holding. We pushed into that to say, Well, what's holding you back. And we really dug into that. And over a few weeks we came up with, sometimes he leaned into a fear of failure. And he really needed to embrace, putting himself out there challenging himself and not being afraid to fail. From day one, or from the day one of the goal setting, he really put himself in as many situations as possible to challenge himself, I was so impressed and proud every week of him telling me multiple examples of him putting himself out there, whether it be having a hard conversation with a friend or saying something difficult at work, really looking at how was he pushing himself as we went along, he started saying, I feel so comfortable doing this, I'm not afraid to fail anymore. I did this. And it was easy. Not easy, but it didn't feel scary. And so by the end, even before the end, he was like I don't even know if I really need this as a goal to focus on. Because I feel like it's part of who I am now. And that was so powerful and amazing. He really embraced that and continues to challenge themselves daily, and really do difficult things and put himself out there.
Shandel Sutherland 18:34
He really does do that. And that is not a part of his story anymore. So good job, Melanie. And I think that's as good of a landing of a plane as we can get with that daily check in that is not an issue. Isn't that so cool?
Melanie Montgomery 18:47
It is it really is. That's the best part of being a coach and as a trainer is seeing people hit their milestones seeing people succeed and live fulfilled lives because I really saw him be more fulfilled, and being able to put himself in those situations and really go after what he wanted and just happier, more confident and set in really what he wants and who he is. And I love that for him.
Shandel Sutherland 19:10
Yeah, and I love it too, because he's living his dream job now and that wouldn't have happened without your coaching. So, Melanie, I think that is a great way for us to end this year. So we will see you all in 2024 We encourage you to follow us on social media and more than ever we want to thank you for listening for subscribing. It's been a great year, hasn't it Melanie?
Melanie Montgomery 19:37
It really has
Shandel Sutherland 19:38
so we're gonna say goodbye to 2023 and we will see you in 2024 And until then, be the best you can be.
Welcome to lead for clarity, where we help you, your team and your organization get to their next level with clarity and focusing on what matters. My name is Shandel Sutherland, and I'm here with Melanie Montgomery. Melanie, we are in the last two weeks of 2023. We are headed smack dab in 2024. What are you excited about?
Melanie Montgomery 00:27
Oh, man, I'm excited for traveling.
Shandel Sutherland 00:30
Yeah, yeah, man. Where are you going?
Melanie Montgomery 00:32
Cambodia?
Shandel Sutherland 00:33
Oh, that's awesome. I love it. I love it. I love it. Well, I love this week before Christmas after Christmas, where it is so chaotic. But the day that all those presents are open, and everyone has gone home, and you've had enough Christmas cookies. This is the life coach heaven. Because what we want to do this week is we want you listening and being prepared for setting your goals for 2024. This is for you, listeners. We love you listeners. And we want to share with you some do's and don'ts of goal setting. I think sometimes people get a strategic plan in mind. And yes, you need that. And once you get the plan in place, you got to be focused the thought that's what we're we're aiming for, but flexible. So do you have anything to add to that? Melanie?
Melanie Montgomery 01:25
Yeah, I just want to say right off the bat that a lot of times when I talk about goal setting, I get a lot of eye rolls, and it feels simple. But really, this topic has so much depth, and we're gonna frame it in a way that really helps you move forward, and that you don't work on something for a few weeks and the new year and then end up reverting back. So we're really going to help you build that foundation have the tools to really achieve what it is that you want to achieve.
Shandel Sutherland 01:54
And it really fits in with what we've been talking about this whole season, which is about the process of sustainable growth. And that has everything to do with setting your intentions. I love the word intention. So we want to give the listeners an example of a symptom versus the cause for the new year. And why because it needs to be based on your values. We are very, very adamant about this Shandel Group that you don't just set goals, because you got a problem in your life. You want your goals to be very connected to your values and what matters most to you. So instead of saying, Oh, my goodness, I need to lose 10 pounds. Well, why? Okay, because I value my health, I value my family, I want to go on adventures, everything has to be tied back to right there in that center of that process wheel, which is our values.
Melanie Montgomery 02:51
And as we're working at the very beginning of the goal setting process, we really have to start digging into what is the symptom, and what is a cause. So often we start focusing on this goal, this thing that we really want, but when I start digging into it, there's something more fundamental that's deeper, that if we focus on that, instead, it will have a lot of exponential effect in all aspects of our lives. Because we only have a finite amount of time and energy, we want our goal to be really intentional and have the most impact.
Shandel Sutherland 03:24
So we want to give the listeners an example of a symptom versus the cause.
Melanie Montgomery 03:29
So a lot of times when we're looking at an issue, we start thinking, you know, customer service, that's something that we need to fix the problem within our organization, we need to give our team members more customer service training. But customer service is probably a symptom of a deeper cause. Maybe our morale is not great, and our team members are not happy. And they don't really want to provide great customer service because they're frustrated within their roles. Or maybe they need some type of a tool. Maybe we need to help them with communication, maybe we need to help them understand what we're selling. And so we have to dig into why are we seeing our customer service struggle? And what do we need to focus on in order to create a healthier team that then will create more happy customers?
Shandel Sutherland 04:18
That's so good, Melanie, I'm right with ya. So Melanie, I know you have a passion for going through and helping people set SMART goals. And we do it a little different here at Shandel Group. And we always say if they want to email you Melanie@ShandelGroup.com, you will send them this form. But let's go over it and give people some hints. So maybe if they're driving, they can start thinking about what does 2024 really look like for me?
Melanie Montgomery 04:44
If you happen to be watching on YouTube, I'm going to share my screen so we can walk through this worksheet together. So as Shandel said, we do smart goals a little bit differently here at Shandel Group. We added a few extra components to make sure that we're really thinking In through our goals and how they are going to come about. So smart goals are specific. They're measurable, they're achievable. We anticipate barriers, they're relevant and time bound. And we make sure to celebrate our milestones. So I'm going to dig into each of these components and really help us understand how to work through these pieces. So the first one is that we need to get really specific, what is it that we want to achieve? And this is where we need to dive into what is the symptom? versus what is the cause? What is it that I want to achieve that will have that exponential effect on my life? I am thinking that I want to lose weight. Do I want to eat healthier? Do I want to, you know, look different? What is it exactly that I want to achieve? And really digging into what does that look like for me?
Shandel Sutherland 05:54
You really are looking at the why why is this important? What do you want? But it's got to be connected to that why? Yeah, exactly.
Melanie Montgomery 06:01
Yes, yes. Then we want to make it measurable. We want to quantify what success looks like and what metrics we will use to measure our goal. Now going back to that weight loss example, am I going to look at well, if I lose 10 pounds, that's what it's going to be? Am I going to go down and adjust size? What is it that I'm actually going to achieve? And what is it that I want the outcome to be? What are those metrics, and sometimes the metrics are things that we just have to do maybe a daily check in or weekly check in for some of those things that are harder to quantify. But we want to say, you know, we are going to do a self check. I know I set a goal recently that was being better about using my planner, instead of just writing things on a sticky note. I had a process where every day every week, I would check in with myself to say how well was I doing? And that was that metric that I was looking at. So when we're looking at the measurable component, we're really looking at what does success look like?
Shandel Sutherland 07:03
That's a reason it's so important that we know we're successful is because I think we're always in this mode of achieving or not achieving. And I always really think this is important and as measurable part, because sometimes the goal changes along the way. And that's a good thing. But we have to know and the measurement is going to help us know, and this is that focus but flexible piece, we're going after this, but the metric needs to change so that we stay on task, or we abandon it. But at least we know we're making progress.
Melanie Montgomery 07:36
And if we don't have a measurable goal, and we don't have quantifiable metrics, a month down the road, we're like, Am I making progress? I don't know. You know, where should I?
Shandel Sutherland 07:47
Yeah, because a month in is the hardest part. Well, the hardest part after doing it for a week, so like, there's these different parts that are hard. Alright, let's go on to the A.
Melanie Montgomery 07:57
So the next one is make sure that it's achievable. So here we want to say is our goal realistic? If you're like me, you like to take on the entire world and accomplish everything overnight. And so we have to really say, Is this actually something that I can achieve in this amount of time? And really dig into how will I get there? And what are the essential steps? So if my goal is to lose 10 pounds, am I going to change the way that I eat? Am I going to go to the gym? How am I actually going to accomplish that and really figure out what are those steps to make sure that I will be able to get there.
Shandel Sutherland 08:33
And I still like this one really makes you be more creative. You know, like, okay, for one month, I'm going to track workouts for the next month, I'm going to count calories. Sometimes we need other people even to speak into the steps that we can take. We want to do something new and creative. So I think this is a really important thing to also get other people involved. But in the end, you gotta want to do it.
Melanie Montgomery 08:57
Yeah, and this is where self awareness is so important. Because we know ourselves, Well, we know what we might need. And we can create as much or as little structure as we need to be able to be successful. And I know for some things I really need like that accountability partner. And for other things, I'm just more intrinsically motivated can do it. So we really have to figure out what does that look like.
Melanie Montgomery 09:19
So our next one is anticipate barriers here, we really want to look at what might stand in the way and how will we overcome these obstacles. This is one that we added into our smart goals. We want to start thinking ahead that we're going to have a mindset of growth of opportunity of challenge because things are going to come up, things are going to happen and we want to be ready to overcome those obstacles and not just say, Oh, I'm stuck. I can't get over this. Something came up and really looking at when something happens. What are we going to do? So going back to this weight loss example, if I get sick and I'm not able to go to the gym for a week how Am I going to overcome that? Am I going to go extra on another day? Am I going to eat different? What happens if I get super busy at work? And I don't have time to go before work? Then am I going to change my eating habits? Am I going to choose another time? So really thinking through what might happen? What does my life look like? And what are the challenges that I typically face? And what am I going to do in the face of that?
Shandel Sutherland 10:24
I think that this is another reason why having community around you to help you set your goals is key. Because I know like, I'm really good at coming up with ideas. Now, I don't really like to follow them all the way through, right. So that's where I need the second a, well, the barrier is I'm gonna get bored and want to do something else. And so I feel like that is a time that especially using your coach, or your husband or anyone to help you is key here. We don't want to be doing these alone.
Melanie Montgomery 10:55
Yeah, absolutely. So the next one is that we want to set relevant goals. Here, we want to dig even further into why do you want to achieve this goal? And what impact will success have? So if my goal is to lose weight? Do I want to do this because I really just want to be healthier? I want to feel better. And if I get to that point, I think that will have a bigger impact on my energy level on my relationships on my ability to focus when we're looking at this. So that's when we're digging into is my goal going to have that exponential effect? Is it going to make a big difference in my life in the way that I really want it to?
Shandel Sutherland 11:32
I love the book called The One Thing and really ask yourself, what is the one thing that I can do that I can achieve? It'll help make all of these other issues really go away? And I think that's the opportunity right there in that relevant? Is this going to help me? Is that the one thing I need to do? And man, when you can get clear on that? Then you kind of get this shot of energy? Yes, this will unlock everything else for me of love that?
Melanie Montgomery 12:01
Yes, definitely. And then we look at make it time bound? When will we measure and reevaluate your goal? And what checkpoints do you need? Part of this is when do we need to reevaluate? So we're saying that this is not stagnant, we can change if we need to. So say maybe I decided to lose 15 pounds in three months. And I'm gonna evaluate once a week, but really, I'm gonna sit down once a month and check in on where I'm at. Well, after that one month, if I've only lost two pounds, maybe I need to say maybe this isn't the right metric. Maybe I'm gaining muscle and losing fat. And so I'm looking the way I want. But it's not actually I'm not measuring up the way that I want to, we have to give ourselves the freedom to have pivots in this stage, to say, am I in the right direction? Do I need to make changes? Maybe I need to change my diet more than I thought I would. Maybe I don't have as much time to dedicate to the gym. And so we really want to say when am I checking in? And how do I know when I'm going to pivot and what those checkpoints are?
Shandel Sutherland 13:05
That's so good. Yeah, I call all goal setting, like I said before, focused and flexible. And this allows that flexibility, without going off the rails. And being able to do this, we have to have milestones, we also need to celebrate them as we go along. Right, Melanie?
Melanie Montgomery 13:21
Yep. And that's the next piece is, don't forget to celebrate yourself and your milestones. So here we really need to dig in, what are my milestones? What are those milestones that I am looking forward to hitting that come before the big goal? So maybe that's I'm gonna lose five pounds, maybe that's, I'm going to fit into this pair of jeans that I haven't worn in a year. What is it that I'm going to celebrate? This might actually be the hardest part of this goal setting is how are you going to celebrate them? How are you going to celebrate yourself? I know for me and a lot of people that I work with, we don't like celebrating ourselves, we don't like to bring attention to what we're doing. Asking that question. What do you do to celebrate? What will you do to celebrate is a big one and really finding an answer to that because a lot of time it's like I don't know, like pat on the back. Cool. But do something, give yourself some type of a reward. If you lost five pounds, maybe you get to go buy a new outfit? What does that look like where you can really celebrate your accomplishments and lean in in those moments?
Shandel Sutherland 14:26
I love that. And I think another thing is if you don't do well and celebrating are kind of thinking through that. I've done this before it was so helpful and goal setting. I love reading people's Christmas letters. So if you have one, send it to me. I read them all I love them because you just get this whole year. What happened and the smaller the print, the better. I have these readers who will help me out. But my point is in that sometimes a really helpful tool is if you write your 2024 letter now before it is even 2024 Are you go well this year, and it's a creative way to kind of write what did you do about this goal. And sometimes when we just get into a different part of our brain, which that's much a right brain activity, you can believe the solutions that our brain will give to us.
Melanie Montgomery 15:18
I love that
Shandel Sutherland 15:18
It's really fun. So what are some other things that we can help our listeners with to achieve their goals and their goal setting? And what can we do Melanie what other hints can we give them?
Melanie Montgomery 15:29
I think being able to talk about your goals with someone can be really, really helpful. I know that when I set something for myself, I don't always follow through with it, because I'm only accountable to myself, which I shouldn't be more accountable to myself than I am to others. But when I have that check in, and that person is asking me, how are you doing? I then push myself harder to make sure that I'm doing it having that person can be really, really helpful to just keep us on track and, and keep us accountable.
Shandel Sutherland 16:00
So good. I'm going to be writing in our newsletter. So folks, if you do not get our newsletter, be sure and go to just Shawn dell.com. And you can get it or just email us, I'm going to be talking about how you reflect on your year. And how do you use that to set goals. We're gonna get you both in the written form and here on the podcast and give you different tools. So that no matter how you're wired or what your need is, we're going to help you reach these goals. Right, Melanie? Absolutely. Yes. So Melanie, what does it look like when one of your clients is successful? What have you seen in coaching people to get to their next level using this tool?
Melanie Montgomery 16:41
That's such a great question. Within our coaching program, I have weekly check ins where they let me know how they're doing on each of their goals, and also just how they're doing as a person. What I've seen as most successful is just a lot of reflection week to week, and being compassionate with themselves and saying, Here's what I learned, here's what I grew, but really pushing through it. One example that comes to mind is Scott, he and I worked really hard on five. Yes, yes, yes, Scott. Yes,
Shandel Sutherland 17:10
you did wonderful in your coaching, okay, I can't wait to hear this.
Melanie Montgomery 17:13
Yes, he and I worked really diligently to figure out what the best goal would be for him. He wanted to do a better job within the role that he was holding. We pushed into that to say, Well, what's holding you back. And we really dug into that. And over a few weeks we came up with, sometimes he leaned into a fear of failure. And he really needed to embrace, putting himself out there challenging himself and not being afraid to fail. From day one, or from the day one of the goal setting, he really put himself in as many situations as possible to challenge himself, I was so impressed and proud every week of him telling me multiple examples of him putting himself out there, whether it be having a hard conversation with a friend or saying something difficult at work, really looking at how was he pushing himself as we went along, he started saying, I feel so comfortable doing this, I'm not afraid to fail anymore. I did this. And it was easy. Not easy, but it didn't feel scary. And so by the end, even before the end, he was like I don't even know if I really need this as a goal to focus on. Because I feel like it's part of who I am now. And that was so powerful and amazing. He really embraced that and continues to challenge themselves daily, and really do difficult things and put himself out there.
Shandel Sutherland 18:34
He really does do that. And that is not a part of his story anymore. So good job, Melanie. And I think that's as good of a landing of a plane as we can get with that daily check in that is not an issue. Isn't that so cool?
Melanie Montgomery 18:47
It is it really is. That's the best part of being a coach and as a trainer is seeing people hit their milestones seeing people succeed and live fulfilled lives because I really saw him be more fulfilled, and being able to put himself in those situations and really go after what he wanted and just happier, more confident and set in really what he wants and who he is. And I love that for him.
Shandel Sutherland 19:10
Yeah, and I love it too, because he's living his dream job now and that wouldn't have happened without your coaching. So, Melanie, I think that is a great way for us to end this year. So we will see you all in 2024 We encourage you to follow us on social media and more than ever we want to thank you for listening for subscribing. It's been a great year, hasn't it Melanie?
Melanie Montgomery 19:37
It really has
Shandel Sutherland 19:38
so we're gonna say goodbye to 2023 and we will see you in 2024 And until then, be the best you can be.
