এই এপিসোড সম্বন্ধে
Walk into labor like a story unfolding, not like a crisis to survive. In this episode, Sarah Marie Bilger guides you through a gentle, practical narrative that turns racing thoughts into a clear plan: breathe with intention, rehearse your coping tools, shape your sanctuary, and build a support team that steadies you when the intensity rises. You'll hear how small rehearsals and honest conversations have the ability to transform fear into focused action.
Through vivid examples and actionable tips like breath patterns and movement to the moment of transition, Sarah helps you reframe pain as purposeful progress and prepares you to respond, not react. By the end, you'll be invited to step into labor with curiosity, flexibility, and the quiet confidence that whatever happens, you can handle it.
Find the Full Show Notes Here: https://www.enteringmotherhood.com/episodes
Relevant Links:
Register for the O.W.N Your Birth Childbirth Education Course
5 ways to prepare for an Unmedicated Birth
Download the FREE Comprehensive Birth Planning Preference Guide
Hypnobabies is a great tool to use hypnosis when preparing for childbirth. Use the code MOTHERHOOD20 to receive 20% off today!
Truly fuel your body with FOND Bone Broth a verified regenerative by land to market company dedicated to serving you rich and handcrafted items. Use code ENTERINGMOTHERHOOD for 10% off.
Looking to become a doula yourself and get into birthwork? Check out the Online Doula Training Program to get started on your path today.
Become certified through Postpartum University and help clients learn more about how to nourish their bodies in the postpartum period.
Want a baby carrier you can snuggle your baby tight in? Check out LoveHeld for their handwoven ring sling carrier you'll be sure to love.
In need of nursing tops and postpartum items? Kindred Bravely is the place to shop for all of your attire needs and more.
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নোটগুলি দেখান 🔗
প্রতিলিপি 🔗
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Hey, mamas, and welcome to the Entering Motherhood podcast. I'm your host,
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Sarah Marie Bilger, a birth and postpartum doula who is passionate about helping
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women enter motherhood feeling informed, supported, and empowered.
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Join us every episode to learn from professionals, special guests,
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and moms just like you, ensuring that you know what you need to know and discover
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things that you didn't know before.
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I believe in you, let's doula this, and let's navigate the transition of entering motherhood together.
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Hello, hello, and welcome back to another episode of Entering Motherhood.
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I'm so excited you're here, and I'm really excited to get into this conversation
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today because we are talking about how we can be preparing for birth fearlessly.
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And this is something that has really been
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coming up lately and something that I have had
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conversations with clients and friends and
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family and just this idea of all
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these thoughts and scenarios and fears
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that surround birth and what outside
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influences are kind of generating and creating to cause us to have fears and
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then just our own personal anxieties and beliefs and situations that are also
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bringing up a lot of fear surrounding birth.
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And not only birth, but then into motherhood and just, you know, am I doing it right?
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What am I doing wrong? Like all of these different things that come up.
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And so specifically, I really wanted to dedicate this episode to discuss preparing
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for birth in a fearless way.
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And this is true for any birth, but specifically, especially if you are hoping to go unmedicated.
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I think that this is something that's really important to consider and prepare for.
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And I also just want to start by saying too, and stating this very clearly,
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that if you're choosing to go unmedicated, that does not make you any stronger than anybody else.
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Choosing to get pain medication does not make you weaker.
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I feel like all birth is equal in that respect.
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I have had an epidural, I had a cesarean, I had unmedicated births,
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I've had home birth, and so I've had a range of different experiences, and I can say that.
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All of them are unique and special in their own way, and however you are preparing.
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Whatever kind of birth you are envisioning is valid and perfect and exactly what's right for you.
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So this episode isn't about proving anything.
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It's really truly just about preparation, confidence, and understanding what
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it actually takes to walk into labor feeling steady and grounded.
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Because the truth is fear
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doesn't just disappear on its own but it can
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be replaced with preparation so let's
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talk about how we can do that and I
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want to start off by saying what does fearless actually mean
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and so when I say fearless I don't
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mean you feel zero fear that
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the fear is completely gone that we have
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eliminated and completely wiped the
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fear away and you know even in my
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third pregnancy I still felt nerves I still felt
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worried about different things and
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what could happen because honestly like birth is big birth is really intense
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there's a lot of unknown factors even after attending as many births as I have
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as having my own personal birth experiences as well And just hearing so many birth stories,
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there's still a lot of different things that uniquely happens for each individual
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and each different birth.
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And so fearless doesn't mean no fear.
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Really just means that fear isn't the one that's in charge.
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It means you understand what's happening to your body, you've prepared mentally
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and physically, you trust yourself, and it means that you know your options.
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And the biggest reason that birth feels scary is because it feels unpredictable. We can't control it.
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We can't predict exactly what's going to happen.
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But birth is physiological, and birth follows a design.
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So your body releases oxytocin to create your contractions. It has endorphins
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that help you cope and navigate labor.
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Your body builds this intensity gradually. It's not all at once.
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It doesn't just come at you.
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And so your body's designed to give birth and it's doing all of the things naturally.
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And when you understand that labor has this rhythm and it has this purpose, it's
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it becomes a lot less chaotic and a lot more intentional.
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And so education about all of this process really helps reduce fear dramatically.
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Once we understand what's happening and what to expect, even if the unexpected might happen,
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it allows us to be more aware of the possibilities and really reduce that fear.
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And then specifically, if you're planning on going on Medicaid it,
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I really feel like preparation is not optional. You need to be doing something to prepare for this.
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And, you know, you've probably heard the comparison of you wouldn't run a marathon without any training.
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Labor is physical. It's hormonal. It's very deeply mental.
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It has all of these different factors that we need to be preparing for.
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And the families that I attend who go unmedicated confidently have usually done these three things.
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One, they understand the stages of labor.
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Two, they've practiced different coping mechanisms and techniques.
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And three, they have strong support. So not only am I there,
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but they have a partner or somebody else. They have a provider who they know and they trust.
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And they are well aware of who is there in the room and supporting them.
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And truly, unmedicated birth isn't necessarily about pain tolerance.
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It's more so about coping skills
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and your environment and so if you
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walk into labor thinking i'll just see how it goes that's usually when fear
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is going to take over so instead we need to be asking ourselves how will i breathe
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when the contractions build up what positions will feel good or are available to me?
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What words can really help me stay grounded and aligned with the birth that I want?
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And then how is your partner going to support you? If you have a doula,
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how are they going to support you?
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What is your provider doing in all of this?
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So confidence really comes from rehearsal and speaking things out into existence
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and really kind of playing this game of, well, what if this happens?
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You know, what if that does happen? What if I need a cesarean? What does that mean?
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How am I going to work through that? What if baby's not in ideal position?
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How are we going to move forward?
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What if I have to be induced? What does that look like? And let me just backtrack
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a little bit there and not necessarily have to get induced. What if I choose to get induced?
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What if I choose to move forward and have a cesarean?
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What if I decide that I actually do want the epidural and I no longer want to go on Medicaid it?
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What if? What does that look like?
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What's your best case scenario? What's your worst case scenario?
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Just keep talking through all of these different situations.
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And I really feel like when we speak it into
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existence when we say it out loud it helps
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diminish that fear and it helps reduce a
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lot of these thoughts that are circulating in our head because we
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say it out loud and we're like actually that wouldn't be that
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big of a deal or actually I think I know exactly how I would work through that
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and so there's a lot of this mental shift that's required this really isn't
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talked enough about there's there's definitely conversations about the mental
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side of birth and needing to prepare mentally,
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but I don't think a lot of people preparing for birth go as deep into it as
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they probably should before the time comes.
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And so we need to really look at things in perspective, even something as viewing
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contractions as something to escape.
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We need to flip that around and we need to view them as something to work with.
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Something to work through, something to navigate and lean into.
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And this shift in perspective really has the ability to change everything.
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So instead of saying something like, how long will this last?
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That thought process now becomes, this contraction is bringing me closer to meeting my baby.
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Instead of thinking, this hurts, I can't do this anymore.
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We can flip that and say, this is really intense, but I can handle the intensity.
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And so language really matters. And that's why also choosing the people that
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you surround yourself with really matters.
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Because when you say, I can't do this, or this hurts, or this is too much,
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what are those people around you saying to you?
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What are they pouring back into you? I've watched women
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completely transform their labor just
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by changing how they're talking to themselves and that can
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happen when me as a doula or
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your doula or your partner is speaking positively to you yes you can do this
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you're already doing this look at you look at how far you've come oh my goodness
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you're bringing your baby closer
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and closer to you I had a lot of these self-talks with my third birth.
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I had to sit with myself and say, let's go.
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Let's bring on every single contraction and give it all you got because it's go time.
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Baby's coming. I see it time and time again.
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We have the ability to flip that switch and we have the ability to zone in and just embrace it.
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Reduce those fears and push through it. Because your nervous system responds to your thoughts.
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Your brain feels panic. It has the ability to feel that fear.
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It causes your body to tighten up. And when your body tightens up,
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labor often feels harder.
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It can be longer. and we really need to bring that calming presence we really
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need to get to our safe space.
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And so I really wanted to bring up five different techniques and practical ways
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that we can work on preparing fearlessly.
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I want to make this really tangible. I want to make this really practical.
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And I want this to be something that you can feel ready to walk away with and
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ready to implement into your birth plan.
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And the first one is practice breathing now.
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We don't want to wait until labor to figure
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out how to breathe we obviously yes you
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know how to breathe in and out things like that but we
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want to practice these awkward breathing the horse lips the controlled slow
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breaths the long exhales and we want to get into that pattern of understanding
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how that works and training our
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nervous system and our body for what that might look like during labor.
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And so slow controlled breathing during pregnancy really helps prepare you for
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when you're actually in labor.
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So that might look something like inhaling for four counts and exhaling for six counts.
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That long exhale is really signifying to your body that it's safe.
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And this can be really beneficial when we want to clear out that fear.
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Just taking a breath sometimes can reset things and allow you to see things
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differently. Number two would be to move your body.
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I'm talking walking, squats, hip circles, maybe do a little prenatal yoga.
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Any sort of strength and mobility exercises really matter.
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There's different labor positions that you can look up and exercise.
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Hear about and practice and having that endurance to hold some of those labor
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positions and having the flexibility to get into some of those positions is
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going to make all the difference.
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Number three is creating a calm environment and this could look different for everybody.
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Most of the time a calming environment has to do with dim lightings,
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very minimal interruptions, some music that helps ground you, relax you, calm you.
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And then, of course, the people who are supporting you, maybe some different
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smells, some different sensations, comfort items, like a specific blanket or pillow.
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But our birth hormones really thrive in a sense of privacy and safety.
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And so when we're able to create that environment and we have a plan on how
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we're going to create that, no matter what our setting is,
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that's going to be super helpful in letting us feel safe and lowering the fears that might come up.
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Number four, I'm going to say is understand the why behind the pain.
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I say this is pain with purpose.
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Pain during labor is very different than an injury pain or sickness pain or
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anything along those lines.
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It's purposeful. It rises, it peaks, it falls. It's not continuous.
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And knowing that, knowing that contractions end and every single time it's working
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for you and doing what it needs to do,
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it's a really powerful experience that we can allow our bodies to navigate through.
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And so understanding that and knowing why it's happening and knowing that it's
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helping dilate us, It's helping you face us. It's helping bringing your baby down.
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And all of these different sensations and all of the different things that are
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going on while we might associate.
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Those sensations with what we know as pain,
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we can redirect that and push through it and relax when we're not having that
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sensation so that we can jump back in and be ready for the next time it comes.
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And then number five is preparing for that mental dip, that drop,
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that moment that most moms that are going on Medicaid are going to say, I can't do this.
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That is usually when transition is happening. That's usually when you are so, so, so close to the end.
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And we really want to prepare for how we're going to handle this and what that's
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going to look like when it's actually in that moment.
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Because it doesn't mean failure when you say you can't do this.
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And most the time it just means that you're really really
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close and knowing that ahead of time helps
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prevent any kind of panic or worry
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or fear that might be coming up in that moment and so again just going back
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to that education aspect of it and knowing all of our options and knowing what
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birth looks like what birth sounds like what experiences and sensations and
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different things going on might look like,
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it can really help lower that fear because you're like, you're saying like,
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oh, I've heard about this.
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I know what this is triggering. I know what this is. And we're not.
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As fearful of it, we're allowing it to happen.
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We're stepping into it, and we're welcoming it and embracing it.
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And that's really what's giving us that fearless aspect moving forward.
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And so again, just going into what fearlessly does not mean,
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and when we say fearless, we're not saying that we're refusing help.
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We're not ignoring any sort of exhaustion. we're not
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forcing an outcome feeling shame
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if if plans change but instead
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when we're saying fearless it might
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mean saying i need support i need help i want pain relief this is what feels
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right you know understanding and listening to your body and saying what it needs
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in the moment can really help create that fearless mentality.
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And confidence is truly flexibility,
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and an empowered birth is one where you feel informed and supported,
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and not one that's fitting any sort of labels or restrictions,
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or is not aligned with how you envision it to be.
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And this, again, is where the role of our support really comes in.
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I can almost always tell which families are more prepared and have done their homework, if you will,
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and have really put in the work beforehand and thought about all these scenarios
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than those who maybe have not really fully stepped into it.
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And this is their partner actually knows what to do too.
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Their partner is calm. Their partner is involved.
00:19:22.337 --> 00:19:27.017
And their partner is not panicking when things intensify and when things get real.
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So support people also help set the tone. If your partner is anxious and unsure,
00:19:34.882 --> 00:19:37.522
that energy is going to transfer to you.
00:19:37.722 --> 00:19:42.002
Obviously, you have the ability to control what's coming in and what's coming out,
00:19:42.022 --> 00:19:46.862
but when you're feeling this uneasiness, when you're feeling the anxiousness,
00:19:46.862 --> 00:19:52.862
when you're not feeling like things are safe because of your partner or your
00:19:52.862 --> 00:19:55.662
support team or the people around you,
00:19:55.662 --> 00:20:01.982
you're in a very vulnerable state when you're in labor and all of the outside
00:20:01.982 --> 00:20:08.322
influences and all of that energy has the ability to transfer to you and cause
00:20:08.322 --> 00:20:10.742
you to also feel those things.
00:20:11.062 --> 00:20:16.562
So it really is a team effort. It really is understanding who's in the room
00:20:16.562 --> 00:20:25.222
and how all those different emotions and feelings are making you adjust and navigate birth.
00:20:25.482 --> 00:20:31.482
So it's important to have conversations like, what should my partner say if I ask for the epidural?
00:20:31.722 --> 00:20:39.142
What helps me feel safe? How will my support team advocate for me during different times?
00:20:39.975 --> 00:20:45.435
And this is really where our confidence can build because we've had those hard
00:20:45.435 --> 00:20:47.535
conversations. We've had those deep discussions.
00:20:47.875 --> 00:20:54.335
We know the what-if scenarios. And so if it comes to it, we're prepared, we're set.
00:20:54.335 --> 00:20:58.955
And so a lot of those things that we're fearing and a lot of the things that
00:20:58.955 --> 00:21:05.195
we're nervous about have the ability to really just get stripped away because
00:21:05.195 --> 00:21:10.655
we know a little bit more of what to expect.
00:21:10.655 --> 00:21:15.115
Even if it's an unpredictable scenario we
00:21:15.115 --> 00:21:19.135
can navigate knowing that
00:21:19.135 --> 00:21:26.455
there is roughly a plan and that the people around us have the ability to advocate
00:21:26.455 --> 00:21:33.135
for us so again if you're planning to go for an unmedicated birth this is super
00:21:33.135 --> 00:21:38.795
super super important and vital but also just any kind of birth,
00:21:39.015 --> 00:21:47.035
any kind of scenario to leave feeling like it was a great experience and knowing
00:21:47.035 --> 00:21:55.115
that you did all that you wanted to and you really had a more fearless birth.
00:21:55.115 --> 00:21:57.115
This is also super important.
00:21:57.907 --> 00:22:03.167
And it's important to understand that your body is capable, your mind is super
00:22:03.167 --> 00:22:06.307
powerful, and that birth is intense.
00:22:06.547 --> 00:22:11.267
But that intensity does not translate to danger.
00:22:11.647 --> 00:22:16.667
We can prepare for it. We can practice. You can educate yourself.
00:22:16.867 --> 00:22:19.887
You can surround yourself with the support that you need.
00:22:20.047 --> 00:22:24.907
And then we can have these plans that we can create, but then hold on to them
00:22:24.907 --> 00:22:34.187
loosely. You know, have them in open hands and really just let it be what it is and what it will be.
00:22:34.307 --> 00:22:38.487
Because a fearless birth isn't about controlling the outcome.
00:22:38.927 --> 00:22:43.747
It's about walking into labor and saying, I trust myself to handle whatever
00:22:43.747 --> 00:22:46.347
comes and I trust the process.
00:22:46.347 --> 00:22:52.227
And that's truly the kind of confidence that has the ability to carry into your
00:22:52.227 --> 00:22:56.447
motherhood experience as well when we're building this foundation when we're
00:22:56.447 --> 00:23:02.787
creating trust in ourselves when we are letting go of the outcome and just,
00:23:03.408 --> 00:23:06.568
staying in what we can control.
00:23:07.188 --> 00:23:11.028
That's what we can bring into motherhood and that's what we can utilize.
00:23:11.108 --> 00:23:19.848
And that same preparation that we use for birth has the ability to trickle into how we parent.
00:23:20.188 --> 00:23:27.408
How we navigate tough moments, and how we move forward into motherhood.
00:23:27.548 --> 00:23:30.488
So that's what I really wanted to touch on and
00:23:30.488 --> 00:23:33.888
really wanted to talk about in this episode if
00:23:33.888 --> 00:23:36.788
it resonated with you and you want to go deeper if you
00:23:36.788 --> 00:23:39.568
want more structured preparation if you want to
00:23:39.568 --> 00:23:43.148
be walking through the stages of labor different coping techniques
00:23:43.148 --> 00:23:46.648
partner support advocacy mindset this
00:23:46.648 --> 00:23:49.668
is all exactly what we cover inside of the
00:23:49.668 --> 00:23:52.648
own your birth childbirth education course it is
00:23:52.648 --> 00:23:56.068
there and readily available for you me
00:23:56.068 --> 00:23:58.828
and this other doula caitlin who was actually
00:23:58.828 --> 00:24:01.548
one of my past clients created this because we
00:24:01.548 --> 00:24:04.468
saw so many women walking into birth
00:24:04.468 --> 00:24:07.288
feeling unprepared and overwhelmed and there's only
00:24:07.288 --> 00:24:10.028
so much that you can do as a doula working with your
00:24:10.028 --> 00:24:12.928
clients and having that one-on-one time but having
00:24:12.928 --> 00:24:15.888
a self-led course that they can
00:24:15.888 --> 00:24:19.468
really work through navigate through share with their partner it's something
00:24:19.468 --> 00:24:22.548
that creates calm and balanced
00:24:22.548 --> 00:24:25.628
and empowered knowledge that they
00:24:25.628 --> 00:24:29.048
can take with them and go into
00:24:29.048 --> 00:24:32.008
the birth experience and go into motherhood with and
00:24:32.008 --> 00:24:38.308
so it'll be linked in the show notes as always thank you so much for being here
00:24:38.308 --> 00:24:42.588
thank you for caring about your birthing experience and thank you for choosing
00:24:42.588 --> 00:24:49.228
preparation over fear and really stepping into this with all that you can.
00:24:49.448 --> 00:24:52.928
And so with that, I'll see you next time.
00:24:53.704 --> 00:25:00.404
Thank you, mamas, so much for listening. Remember, you are a rock star. I believe in you.
00:25:00.664 --> 00:25:05.744
Let's doula this. Let's crank it up a notch and let's kick it into high gear together.
00:25:06.084 --> 00:25:09.104
Hit that subscribe button. Share this episode with a friend.
00:25:09.564 --> 00:25:13.524
Message me, email me, call me, beat me. You know how to reach me.
00:25:13.664 --> 00:25:18.584
We're doing this, mamas. I am so excited to catch you here next week.
00:25:18.584 --> 00:25:24.264
This is your one-stop, go-to place for helping you find the resources you need
00:25:24.264 --> 00:25:28.524
to make the best choices for you and your family during pregnancy,
00:25:28.804 --> 00:25:31.564
birth, and most importantly, postpartum.
00:25:31.824 --> 00:25:33.404
See you later, mamas!