Lizzy Caplan

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Not every day you meet an Irish legend.
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I know what you mean, Coo Collum.
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Leaping vast distances, holding off armies.
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Eating tons of fresh grass.
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What?
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Not you, we're cows. That's one of the reasons Irish
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milk is so good. It's famous all.
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Over the world. Legend.
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Dairy?
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Ireland's grass and our farmers' commitment to more sustainable actions
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help make Irish dairy a true Irish legend.
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at ndc.ie.
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Hello, my name is Lizzie Kaplan. And I feel confused
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about being Conan O'Brien's friend.
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Fall is here, hear the yell. Hey there, welcome to
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Conan O'Brien.
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Needs a Friend, the podcast that gives and gives and
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gives and never takes.
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I said that without thinking about.
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It, and I immediately regret it.
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What would we take? I don't know. I just, sometimes
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we get going and I don't give it any thought.
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We take an hour from their lives.
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They can't get back. You're right. Nice to see you both.
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Matt Gourley, Sona Movsesian.
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Yes.
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Yes.
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Yes.
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Yes.
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Correct.
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That is my name. I am not an alien in
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Sona's skin.
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This is not a border crossing. Yes. Yes. Yes.
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Subcommittee hearing.
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Yes. Yes.
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That is correct. That's my name.
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Distinguished gentlewoman from Altadena.
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I'd like to mention something that's on my mind, which
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is that recently we started this Team Coco channel on
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Sirius Radio. As you guys know, I was not a
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regular listener to our podcast. I'm not someone who seeks
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out my work and wants to enjoy it, watch it.
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That's just not something that I do. But what's interesting
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is that this Sirius channel started and they play podcasts that,
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you know, the podcasts we've done, they play a lot
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of different content from over the years. And I don't
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know what the psychological difference is, but because it's on
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the radio and it's just playing when I get in
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my car now, I'll turn it on. And so I
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drove to work today. I was listening. I was in
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my car, listening to myself and you guys. Um, and
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I was laughing. And I realized this is the most
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masturbatory thing I've done since I last masturbated.
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Were you masturbating at the time?
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Well, I want to try that because that would be,
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I'm sure, an incredible high.
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Weren't you worried about someone driving up and then seeing
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Conan O'Brien listening to Conan O'Brien?
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Oh, you know what I do when I... If I
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pull up to a light and someone pulls up next
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to me and they're in a convertible, I lower my
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window and I laugh hysterically. And I say, it's me.
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I'm on the radio and I'm killing it.
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I'm as funny as I think I am.
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Confirmed. No, I just thought, I'm sure that this is,
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I don't intend to do this a lot, but it
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is funny. First of all, I've forgotten a lot of things.
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And so we've done so much over a number of years.
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It hasn't been that long, but we've done a lot
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of stuff. So I'm listening to it with fresh ears.
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What were you listening to? Which episode?
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I was listening to Us with J.B.
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Smoove.
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Do you like it? Do you like this podcast?
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Yeah.
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Oh, cool.
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I do.
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I think there are improvements that could be made.
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Oh, what improvements?
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Well, Sona, what do you think you bring to the table?
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You know what?
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I mean.
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No, I really do.
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I don't even know.
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No, no, I enjoy it. And it was just funny
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because I thought, this is a new low for me.
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Why do you think it's a low?
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It's okay to listen to something.
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Because I shouldn't be listening to myself.
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No, there's nothing wrong with just being like, hey, you
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know what? Good job, Cones. Like saying that to yourself.
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That's not what I do. I don't say, oh, good job, Cones.
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I say, you're killing it!
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At least you admit it.
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You're destroying it!
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At least you admit it. I think there are some
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people that wouldn't admit that they listen to themselves.
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I high-fived myself.
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That's when you're masturbating?
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Which, that means both hands... No.
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Okay.
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Well, first of all, I use one of those trucker devices.
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What?
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What?
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Yeah, they plug into the... Yeah, you can buy them.
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Oh, you mean like a fleshlight?
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Let's just say that you.
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I was a trucker for a while.
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Whoa.
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Oh my God. In between gigs.
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Of all the jobs that you could pretend you've ever done,
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trucker is the most far-fetched.
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Guess what?
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You know that it is.
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I did go to trucking school and I took a
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class and I drove a big rig and you can
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watch it. It was a late night remote.
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Okay, you did it for jokes and yucks and stuff.
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No, but I actually did have to learn how to
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drive what we call in the business, the big rig.
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I think there's so many truckers that just are so
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angry right now.
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Listen, the course was just a couple of hours and
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I took it maybe 25 years ago, but I think
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I'm every bit as good a trucker as any trucker
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out there right now.
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No way, man.
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And I'll tell you this.
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But anyway, I've heard tell that there's a device that
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can plug in. It's like if one wants to pleasure
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oneself while driving. It's no hands.
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So it is a flashlight, right?
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Yeah.
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Does it plug into the cigarette lighter?
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Why do you need to plug it in?
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Well, I prefer, there's one now that's solar powered.
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Oh.
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You just attach a little thing to the roof of
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your car, the sunroof.
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Uh-huh.
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Because I'd like to go eco and be green.
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Sure.
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But what's it, is it doing a vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom?
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Excuse me? What?
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Do that again.
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Why are you plugging.
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Is it.
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Come see the human fleshlight live on stage.
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I mean, first of all... What does it do?
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Why are you plugging it in? I mean, can't you just... Also,
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why do you even... Also, it's not just truckers I'm
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thinking that do this.
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Matt, you must understand what I'm talking about here.
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I think I do.
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You're on a long trip and you're driving your truck.
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Oh, am I hauling cab over Pete in a Kenworth
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18-wheeler with 18 gears?
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There you go.
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God, you too.
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There you go, right? And then you're far away, you're lonely,
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and then you got to take care of business, but
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you don't want to take your hands off the wheel.
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I'm 10-10 on the side. I'm hiding pickles in the shade.
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I got a bear in the air.
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Oh, yeah.
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I said, let's let Tucker roll 10-4 because we got a.
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Great big convo going through the night.
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No.
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You're climaxing as you're driving?
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Isn't that dangerous?
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You can't help but when you're hauling.
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Yep.
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Tell them.
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Just a bed full of logs.
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Or you got a reefer, which is refrigerated cargo.
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What? Yeah.
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And you're going over- When you're hauling reefer, and you're stacked,
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and you're Peterbilt, and you're heading down- Oh, man, I'm
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getting excited. Just think about it. And you're heading down
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the old concrete highway.
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Yeah.
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You need sometimes to blow off some steam, and that's
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when the old whomp, whomp, whomp comes in.
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You got the bandit running blocker for you, eastbound and down,
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long way to go, short time to get there.
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Time to get there.
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Run, old bandit, run. You got contraband Coors.
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Yeah.
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Got to get it over the Arkansas state line.
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Yeah.
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You got to help.
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Texarkana.
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You got to help Sally Fields.
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Oh yeah.
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Okay. We went too far.
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You guys did a long time ago.
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I don't know.
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I still.
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You got to stop at a Choke and Puke and
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get a Diablo sandwich.
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Okay. Oh my God.
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Now I'm going to look at. Have you memorized? That's
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one of my favorite movies. Have you memorized the movie?
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This is a movie you're doing? This is a movie.
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What are you doing? What is it? This is Smokey
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and the Bandit. One of the great movies of all time. Oh,
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that's what this is? Burt Reynolds.
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Yes.
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Jerry Reed. Oh my God.
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Jerry Reed.
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The finest musician ever lived.
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You know what? I'll agree with you. Shout out to
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the late Jerry Reed, one of the great pickers of
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all time, who wrote wonderful songs for Elvis Presley, among some,
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and was a great recording artist in his own right,
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and then went on to be the sidekick in the
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Bandit movies.
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And he's a really good actor.
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Terrific.
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I never got to meet him. I wish I had
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met him.
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I'm jealous.
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But anyway, I'm worried that we got off topic.
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How so?
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Which is a device that pleasures your penis when you
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plug it in, or there is a solar option. Okay.
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Wow.
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So let's get the word out on that.
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Is there one that you could plug into a potato,
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like those old little kids' clocks, and you could get
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powered that way?
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I don't think so.
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I'll work on it. In my childhood, everything was powered
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by a potato. Yours specifically, yeah.
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And so I.
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There was just way too many potatoes in my childhood.
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So no, that's a boner killer right there. Anyway, this
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took a turn for the worse. But a shout out
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to the late Jerry Reed and to truckers everywhere. We
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respect what you do. And to anyone who needs to
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use a device that plugs into a cigarette lighter to
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relieve themselves on the road. I mean, these are all
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things that I just want to make sure that we
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wrap up and salute them in that order.
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Yes.
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Okay.
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Let's get started.
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All right.
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My guest today, if she's still here.
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I'm sorry.
262
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I can't believe. This was an intro?
263
00:09:37.409 --> 00:09:37.610
Yeah.
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My guest today, if she's still here. I like to say,
265
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if she's still here. We have many guests now leave
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during the intro.
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00:09:44.389 --> 00:09:44.830
That's right.
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Very talented actress. You know from such films and TV
269
00:09:48.029 --> 00:09:51.909
shows as Mean Girls, Cloverfield, and Masters of Sex. Now
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00:09:51.950 --> 00:09:55.610
you can see her in the new FX miniseries, Fleischman
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00:09:55.789 --> 00:09:59.330
in Trouble. I really do adore this person and have
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for a long time. Very excited she's with us today.
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00:10:06.840 --> 00:10:07.940
Lizzie Kaplan, welcome.
274
00:10:12.929 --> 00:10:15.309
I was under the impression that we already were kind
275
00:10:15.350 --> 00:10:16.029
of friends, so.
276
00:10:20.039 --> 00:10:20.159
Oh.
277
00:10:20.200 --> 00:10:21.779
We never got to friend status.
278
00:10:22.000 --> 00:10:22.379
You're right.
279
00:10:22.960 --> 00:10:25.519
I saw that I just forged, like, a cat paw
280
00:10:25.559 --> 00:10:28.779
print instead of my name in the paperwork.
281
00:10:29.360 --> 00:10:33.720
Well, yes, we should disclose that we have been friendly
282
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for a number of years.
283
00:10:35.740 --> 00:10:36.860
Friendly.
284
00:10:36.879 --> 00:10:37.559
Yeah.
285
00:10:38.419 --> 00:10:43.240
Very friendly, I think. And I have dined in recently
286
00:10:43.559 --> 00:10:47.159
with you and your just incredible husband.
287
00:10:47.470 --> 00:10:47.750
Yeah. Who.
288
00:10:48.700 --> 00:10:50.539
Enrages me with his talent and good looks.
289
00:10:51.399 --> 00:10:52.100
Both those things.
290
00:10:52.159 --> 00:10:55.639
Yes. And he can tell, too. It feels pity for me.
291
00:10:55.899 --> 00:10:56.200
Yeah, yeah.
292
00:10:56.240 --> 00:10:56.500
Oh, yeah.
293
00:10:58.519 --> 00:11:00.659
But we also had a really good time. We hung
294
00:11:00.799 --> 00:11:05.759
out in England. I was there to interview Ricky Gervais,
295
00:11:05.879 --> 00:11:08.200
and you were living there at the time with Tom.
296
00:11:08.779 --> 00:11:11.460
And you guys joined up with me, and we ended
297
00:11:11.539 --> 00:11:16.360
up having Guinness in a real pub there. in the
298
00:11:16.399 --> 00:11:18.179
northern part of London, I think.
299
00:11:18.440 --> 00:11:18.679
Yeah.
300
00:11:18.840 --> 00:11:21.610
And you ordered a scotch egg. Yes, I did. I'll
301
00:11:21.620 --> 00:11:24.750
never forget that. Yes. And I thought, what's a scotch egg?
302
00:11:24.789 --> 00:11:28.129
Because you, I romanticize when people live in a foreign country,
303
00:11:28.149 --> 00:11:30.429
that's always something I dream about. So you come into
304
00:11:30.450 --> 00:11:32.169
the pub, you're nice enough to meet up with me,
305
00:11:32.210 --> 00:11:34.710
you guys. You and Tom come in and you sit
306
00:11:34.750 --> 00:11:38.509
down and then you just seem to be so comfortable,
307
00:11:38.769 --> 00:11:42.269
like you had become British. And you ordered a scotch egg,
308
00:11:42.330 --> 00:11:43.669
which I didn't even know what a scotch egg... Do
309
00:11:43.690 --> 00:11:44.230
you know what it is?
310
00:11:44.350 --> 00:11:46.909
Yeah, it's a... Isn't an egg racked in sausage and
311
00:11:46.960 --> 00:11:47.500
then fried?
312
00:11:47.509 --> 00:11:48.240
That's correct.
313
00:11:48.539 --> 00:11:49.440
Oh, yeah.
314
00:11:49.480 --> 00:11:51.639
I've had a scotch quail's egg before.
315
00:11:51.679 --> 00:11:52.299
Oh, dainty.
316
00:11:54.460 --> 00:11:56.769
I knew to turn to Gorley for this, because if
317
00:11:56.789 --> 00:11:57.230
there's something.
318
00:11:58.909 --> 00:12:00.629
Anything slightly anglican.
319
00:12:00.669 --> 00:12:02.289
Give me English and make it dainty.
320
00:12:02.549 --> 00:12:06.830
Yeah.
321
00:12:07.090 --> 00:12:10.220
I can tell that you romanticized it because you just
322
00:12:10.279 --> 00:12:12.419
called it like a real pub.
323
00:12:13.120 --> 00:12:15.080
More of a real pub.
324
00:12:15.820 --> 00:12:16.080
I know.
325
00:12:16.120 --> 00:12:16.820
It was a pub.
326
00:12:16.940 --> 00:12:18.100
I know. I know.
327
00:12:18.179 --> 00:12:21.820
But I get very nerdy in a lot of ways.
328
00:12:21.879 --> 00:12:24.690
But one of my things when I'm walking around in London,
329
00:12:24.710 --> 00:12:27.580
I just keep thinking, I'm in London. Now I'm in
330
00:12:27.600 --> 00:12:28.539
a pub in London.
331
00:12:28.720 --> 00:12:28.960
Same.
332
00:12:29.080 --> 00:12:32.179
I'll have a Guinness. I'm drinking the Guinness in London.
333
00:12:33.049 --> 00:12:36.409
I'm wearing a tweed cap. I mean, I don't know.
334
00:12:36.470 --> 00:12:37.570
I'm so self-conscious.
335
00:12:37.809 --> 00:12:40.190
I feel like that all the time about everything. And
336
00:12:40.389 --> 00:12:43.190
only recently do I feel like I'm shedding that thing.
337
00:12:43.370 --> 00:12:46.440
Like that I'm not doing commentary about the normal things
338
00:12:46.480 --> 00:12:48.820
that people just seem to be doing around me without,
339
00:12:49.139 --> 00:12:50.600
you know, thinking too hard about it.
340
00:12:50.740 --> 00:12:51.299
Right, right.
341
00:12:51.539 --> 00:12:53.720
But we did drink a lot of Guinness that day.
342
00:12:54.120 --> 00:12:54.919
In the middle of the day.
343
00:12:55.220 --> 00:12:55.899
I may have had more.
344
00:12:56.399 --> 00:12:57.000
Than you guys.
345
00:12:57.220 --> 00:12:57.659
Yeah, maybe.
346
00:12:58.620 --> 00:12:59.039
Maybe.
347
00:12:59.500 --> 00:13:02.240
Tom was just saying, he's like, you guys, you drink
348
00:13:02.299 --> 00:13:05.240
when you're together. Like you and I. Yeah. And I
349
00:13:05.279 --> 00:13:08.110
don't feel like I drink that much. But when I'm
350
00:13:08.120 --> 00:13:10.389
with you, my best friendly.
351
00:13:13.289 --> 00:13:15.269
I also think, and I could be wrong, but there's
352
00:13:15.289 --> 00:13:17.629
something about Guinness that feels like it doesn't count. Like
353
00:13:17.929 --> 00:13:20.649
if I had, if someone was putting down scotch or
354
00:13:20.669 --> 00:13:23.970
anything like that, I'm not big into spirits. But if
355
00:13:24.309 --> 00:13:27.700
it's Guinness. I don't know what it is. I don't
356
00:13:27.759 --> 00:13:28.559
feel like it counts.
357
00:13:28.580 --> 00:13:29.179
It's like a meal.
358
00:13:29.460 --> 00:13:29.919
Yeah, it is.
359
00:13:29.940 --> 00:13:33.299
If someone put, took a loaf of pumpernickel bread and
360
00:13:33.559 --> 00:13:36.259
put it into a paper shredder and then let it
361
00:13:36.340 --> 00:13:37.299
sit for a couple of months.
362
00:13:37.460 --> 00:13:37.720
Yeah.
363
00:13:37.899 --> 00:13:38.600
It's bread soup.
364
00:13:38.779 --> 00:13:40.059
It's bread soup. And then you drink it.
365
00:13:40.190 --> 00:13:40.429
Yeah.
366
00:13:40.690 --> 00:13:43.470
But we had, we had a very good time and
367
00:13:43.490 --> 00:13:47.350
I have wanted you to be on the podcast for
368
00:13:47.370 --> 00:13:49.909
a long time because, and I say this with, uh,
369
00:13:50.250 --> 00:13:51.850
Just write out, you're one of my favorite people. You
370
00:13:51.889 --> 00:13:52.269
really are.
371
00:13:52.289 --> 00:13:55.139
Do you say that to everybody that walks in? You know,
372
00:13:55.159 --> 00:13:56.950
I've said it.
373
00:13:56.960 --> 00:13:59.100
I would say 25% of the people, but I do
374
00:13:59.220 --> 00:14:01.580
feel there's sincerity in your voice this time. So I'd
375
00:14:01.600 --> 00:14:02.860
put that in the top 5%.
376
00:14:02.860 --> 00:14:03.460
Come on.
377
00:14:03.539 --> 00:14:03.980
I'm serious.
378
00:14:04.120 --> 00:14:04.559
Yeah. Yeah.
379
00:14:05.100 --> 00:14:05.779
Well, I think.
380
00:14:05.799 --> 00:14:09.649
Yeah, you're not so sure.
381
00:14:09.690 --> 00:14:12.549
No, I'm kidding. No, he really sincerely means it.
382
00:14:12.590 --> 00:14:16.629
Yeah, and I'm always, and the other person, my wife
383
00:14:16.690 --> 00:14:19.070
knows it. My wife knows that I have Lizzie Kaplan fever,
384
00:14:19.149 --> 00:14:21.409
and she's like, yeah, I get it. I totally get it.
385
00:14:21.409 --> 00:14:23.250
Just the fact that you two drink together, he won't
386
00:14:23.269 --> 00:14:23.809
drink with us.
387
00:14:24.049 --> 00:14:24.820
Oh, God, no.
388
00:14:25.009 --> 00:14:26.080
No. No, no.
389
00:14:26.480 --> 00:14:28.399
I take a lot of pills when I'm around you.
390
00:14:28.419 --> 00:14:33.210
That's just for your hip. You can take a pill
391
00:14:33.250 --> 00:14:38.909
for your head.
392
00:14:38.950 --> 00:14:39.169
Go on.
393
00:14:39.169 --> 00:14:42.860
No, I adore you. You're such a terrific comedic actress
394
00:14:43.059 --> 00:14:44.919
who can also do drama. You're so good at what
395
00:14:44.940 --> 00:14:48.820
you do. But also, and we won't get into specifics,
396
00:14:48.879 --> 00:14:51.480
but you are so smart about people. And you and
397
00:14:51.500 --> 00:14:54.259
I have had conversations where different people will come up
398
00:14:54.279 --> 00:14:56.490
or in the industry or whatever, and you are so incisive.
399
00:14:56.909 --> 00:15:01.350
Not mean, just so incisive about people. human beings, what
400
00:15:01.389 --> 00:15:04.210
makes them tick, what you've noticed. And I always walk
401
00:15:04.269 --> 00:15:06.570
away and think like, this is an incredible person.
402
00:15:06.870 --> 00:15:08.769
That's so nice.
403
00:15:08.789 --> 00:15:09.250
No, it's true.
404
00:15:09.769 --> 00:15:10.210
I mean this 130%.
405
00:15:10.210 --> 00:15:14.360
I believe you. And that's like, I don't think anybody's
406
00:15:14.409 --> 00:15:16.500
ever said that to me. And I think it's the
407
00:15:16.519 --> 00:15:18.740
greatest compliment I've ever received. And I'm not even being
408
00:15:19.129 --> 00:15:21.370
like flippant about it. That's a great thing to.
409
00:15:21.490 --> 00:15:22.200
Have somebody think about you.
410
00:15:22.210 --> 00:15:22.470
But it's true.
411
00:15:22.490 --> 00:15:25.610
I'm thinking specifically of different times people have come up
412
00:15:25.669 --> 00:15:28.889
and you'll say something and it's just, I feel like
413
00:15:28.909 --> 00:15:31.879
you have a bit of a superpower, not a bit
414
00:15:31.919 --> 00:15:33.639
of a, it is a superpower to be able to
415
00:15:33.679 --> 00:15:36.679
just see people for who they are in this business.
416
00:15:37.179 --> 00:15:38.639
It's tricky. Thanks, Conan.
417
00:15:38.700 --> 00:15:43.000
Part of this journey of this podcast started with me
418
00:15:43.039 --> 00:15:47.179
just wanting to be very honest, if I could, about
419
00:15:47.659 --> 00:15:51.389
talking to people who anyone else would envy saying, yes,
420
00:15:51.669 --> 00:15:54.250
it is great. I am not complaining, but also it
421
00:15:55.009 --> 00:15:58.570
is very complicated. And there's a lot of strange people
422
00:15:58.590 --> 00:16:02.840
in this business. And there's a lot of our buttons
423
00:16:02.879 --> 00:16:05.700
get pushed. And I feel like that is something that
424
00:16:05.740 --> 00:16:09.259
you are aware of and you've handled it really well.
425
00:16:09.519 --> 00:16:12.960
I do feel like I've been sort of positioned in
426
00:16:12.980 --> 00:16:17.980
a just geographically positioned well, meaning I'm from L.A. I
427
00:16:18.000 --> 00:16:21.440
have these friends that I grew up with, probably like
428
00:16:21.440 --> 00:16:23.320
10 to 15 of us who have been friends since
429
00:16:23.360 --> 00:16:25.830
we were little kids, like five years old. And none
430
00:16:25.850 --> 00:16:28.350
of them do this. And I don't have to get
431
00:16:28.409 --> 00:16:30.889
on a plane to go see this group of friends.
432
00:16:30.909 --> 00:16:33.350
They're here in the city that I live in most
433
00:16:33.370 --> 00:16:36.490
of the time. And so I think that's been helpful.
434
00:16:36.590 --> 00:16:39.940
Like they don't care. And they genuinely don't care, but
435
00:16:39.980 --> 00:16:43.399
like in a loving way. Whereas some people say that
436
00:16:43.419 --> 00:16:45.460
they don't care. Like, okay, so going back to what
437
00:16:45.480 --> 00:16:46.860
you're saying, because of Thanksgiving, right?
438
00:16:47.200 --> 00:16:47.720
Just happened.
439
00:16:47.919 --> 00:16:49.750
I was talking to Tom. It's like, it's almost like
440
00:16:49.779 --> 00:16:52.049
if you do this for a living, what we do,
441
00:16:52.570 --> 00:16:55.490
it's like a family disease. Tell me if you agree
442
00:16:55.509 --> 00:16:55.769
with this.
443
00:16:55.850 --> 00:16:56.070
Okay.
444
00:16:56.330 --> 00:16:58.450
So I'm with my family who are amazing and wonderful.
445
00:16:58.879 --> 00:17:01.120
But a lot of family, friends, different people kind of
446
00:17:01.179 --> 00:17:03.159
come in and you get a lot of like, I
447
00:17:03.200 --> 00:17:05.000
don't know if it comes from like, I'm going to
448
00:17:05.039 --> 00:17:07.509
prove to you that I'm not impressed that you're an actress.
449
00:17:07.869 --> 00:17:09.289
I don't care that you're an actress. So I'm going
450
00:17:09.309 --> 00:17:12.890
to say mean shit to you all the time. And
451
00:17:13.170 --> 00:17:14.690
you kind of just take it and it's fine. But like,
452
00:17:14.730 --> 00:17:16.890
it's always family, friends or like some distant aunt that's like,
453
00:17:17.029 --> 00:17:21.200
I saw that show. It wasn't for me. I liked
454
00:17:21.259 --> 00:17:23.119
the other thing you did. You're like, cool. I just
455
00:17:23.140 --> 00:17:24.980
spent eight months of my life. I don't go to
456
00:17:25.029 --> 00:17:27.369
like your accountancy office and say like, you know what,
457
00:17:27.390 --> 00:17:30.849
you're doing just fine. And you sort of have to
458
00:17:30.930 --> 00:17:33.910
take these blows like all the time. And they're not
459
00:17:34.250 --> 00:17:36.750
a big deal. But also nobody wants to hear you
460
00:17:36.910 --> 00:17:37.819
complain about it.
461
00:17:38.390 --> 00:17:42.859
It's a tricky balancing act. We were talking on the
462
00:17:42.900 --> 00:17:45.460
podcast once to David Sedaris, and he was talking about
463
00:17:45.480 --> 00:17:48.319
this exact same phenomenon. And I said to him, I
464
00:17:48.680 --> 00:17:50.720
get the sense that there are people that need to
465
00:17:50.799 --> 00:17:55.900
tax you, meaning they apply a bit of a tax
466
00:17:55.960 --> 00:17:58.960
to you because they think in some way you need
467
00:17:58.980 --> 00:18:02.579
to pay them a little bit. for your whatever success
468
00:18:02.640 --> 00:18:05.279
or perceived better life, you know, I don't know. And
469
00:18:05.400 --> 00:18:09.210
it's very complicated. And so the idea that no, but
470
00:18:09.450 --> 00:18:10.809
I'm sure other people kiss your ass.
471
00:18:10.829 --> 00:18:11.940
So I'm going to, That's it.
472
00:18:12.000 --> 00:18:14.119
I'm going to cross a crowded room and tell you,
473
00:18:14.200 --> 00:18:16.819
by the way, I never quite got it. You're like, wow.
474
00:18:16.839 --> 00:18:17.500
Okay.
475
00:18:17.519 --> 00:18:18.680
Totally. That's impressive.
476
00:18:18.779 --> 00:18:20.559
And it's, I mean, you have it on a much
477
00:18:20.869 --> 00:18:24.130
different scale than I do. And I see also that
478
00:18:24.150 --> 00:18:27.250
it would be really annoying for, let's say, your family
479
00:18:27.329 --> 00:18:30.809
to have, you know, your sibling. Somebody's always trying to
480
00:18:30.869 --> 00:18:32.329
talk to your sibling about you.
481
00:18:32.349 --> 00:18:32.430
Yeah.
482
00:18:32.769 --> 00:18:36.450
That would suck. Like, I wouldn't handle that well at all.
483
00:18:36.710 --> 00:18:42.480
But I also don't personally feel comfortable. successful or famous
484
00:18:42.579 --> 00:18:44.730
or any of those things ever like I don't think
485
00:18:44.750 --> 00:18:47.769
that's the reality of my situation and so when people
486
00:18:47.809 --> 00:18:50.619
occasionally like to kind of stick it to me I'm
487
00:18:50.740 --> 00:18:52.809
like I was just I was just sitting here.
488
00:18:52.829 --> 00:18:55.230
Okay.
489
00:18:55.480 --> 00:18:55.839
It is true.
490
00:18:55.859 --> 00:18:57.259
You do just sit around a lot.
491
00:18:57.299 --> 00:18:57.799
A lot.
492
00:18:57.819 --> 00:18:58.819
Most of the time.
493
00:18:58.859 --> 00:19:02.200
You were here when we got here. Every time I've
494
00:19:02.299 --> 00:19:03.839
bumped into Lizzie anywhere, she's just sitting.
495
00:19:03.859 --> 00:19:04.579
Yeah.
496
00:19:04.759 --> 00:19:05.039
I enjoy it.
497
00:19:05.039 --> 00:19:06.180
Just sitting like on a rock.
498
00:19:05.900 --> 00:19:06.779
Or sitting on a bench.
499
00:19:06.799 --> 00:19:07.119
Yeah.
500
00:19:07.140 --> 00:19:08.650
And I'm like, what are you doing? She's just sitting here.
501
00:19:08.769 --> 00:19:12.369
When you find a nice rock. You pass up that opportunity.
502
00:19:12.430 --> 00:19:12.849
But yes.
503
00:19:12.869 --> 00:19:15.109
And then like the dirty little secret is like nobody
504
00:19:15.130 --> 00:19:16.009
wants to hear you complain.
505
00:19:16.049 --> 00:19:17.009
And you know.
506
00:19:17.910 --> 00:19:21.089
You shouldn't actually complain to many people about this. It's
507
00:19:21.150 --> 00:19:24.250
not a universal experience, but it is a weird thing
508
00:19:24.309 --> 00:19:26.890
where it becomes, and I see it with a lot
509
00:19:26.940 --> 00:19:29.960
of friends, or any little bits of success I've had,
510
00:19:31.460 --> 00:19:35.759
you're up to a level of isolation. And because nobody
511
00:19:35.799 --> 00:19:37.799
wants to hear you, let's say you, let's make it
512
00:19:37.839 --> 00:19:38.220
about you.
513
00:19:38.559 --> 00:19:38.880
Okay.
514
00:19:39.019 --> 00:19:41.299
Nobody wants to hear you complain because you are very
515
00:19:41.339 --> 00:19:43.400
successful and you have a lot of money and whatever.
516
00:19:43.420 --> 00:19:44.539
Oh, I lost a lot of it.
517
00:19:44.869 --> 00:19:46.490
Oh, you used to have a lot of money.
518
00:19:46.509 --> 00:19:48.829
I bought up an entire corporation.
519
00:19:50.519 --> 00:19:53.220
Of, put all my money into Victorian pornography.
520
00:19:53.319 --> 00:19:53.859
Ooh.
521
00:19:54.240 --> 00:19:55.759
Yeah, which is not racy at all.
522
00:19:55.779 --> 00:19:57.319
No, it's a lot of clothes.
523
00:19:57.380 --> 00:19:57.579
Yeah.
524
00:19:57.599 --> 00:19:58.160
A lot of ankles.
525
00:19:58.180 --> 00:19:59.819
It's just a bare ankle here and there.
526
00:19:59.940 --> 00:20:01.039
And I'm your only customer.
527
00:20:01.259 --> 00:20:01.460
Yeah.
528
00:20:03.309 --> 00:20:05.779
And after you had bought like $ 8, 000 worth, you were
529
00:20:06.430 --> 00:20:11.000
cleaned out. But no, I, no, but it is, it's true.
530
00:20:11.079 --> 00:20:15.420
And I chose my life. I've, you know, had some
531
00:20:15.460 --> 00:20:18.079
ups and downs, but I'm one of, I'm the dictionary
532
00:20:18.119 --> 00:20:23.000
definition of very lucky. So I have absolutely nothing to
533
00:20:23.039 --> 00:20:25.799
complain about. And I would like that on my tombstone,
534
00:20:25.819 --> 00:20:28.200
which would be ironic because I'd be dead, which is
535
00:20:28.240 --> 00:20:29.640
a legitimate thing to complain about.
536
00:20:29.660 --> 00:20:29.740
Yeah.
537
00:20:30.900 --> 00:20:32.859
How about up until this point, I had nothing to
538
00:20:32.900 --> 00:20:33.849
complain about. Yeah, dot, dot, dot.
539
00:20:33.869 --> 00:20:34.440
Governor LeBron, 1963, 2025.
540
00:20:34.410 --> 00:20:35.690
Now that gives me a little time. I know, but
541
00:20:35.750 --> 00:20:36.730
I have to fix up my resume.
542
00:20:47.650 --> 00:20:49.750
I got to start looking for other work.
543
00:20:49.829 --> 00:20:50.309
Come on.
544
00:20:50.349 --> 00:20:51.009
I know you guys are.
545
00:20:51.250 --> 00:20:52.309
Do you want to start a podcast?
546
00:20:52.470 --> 00:20:53.569
I would love to.
547
00:20:53.589 --> 00:20:53.690
Okay.
548
00:20:53.710 --> 00:20:54.809
I really like it here.
549
00:20:54.829 --> 00:20:55.329
We're free.
550
00:20:55.369 --> 00:20:55.690
Yeah.
551
00:20:55.710 --> 00:20:56.869
We could just keep the same space.
552
00:20:56.910 --> 00:20:57.029
Yeah.
553
00:20:57.089 --> 00:20:57.789
Okay, cool.
554
00:20:57.910 --> 00:20:59.599
We could just move from there to there.
555
00:20:59.619 --> 00:21:02.559
Trust me. You would, everyone would be very happy with
556
00:21:02.599 --> 00:21:03.599
that outcome.
557
00:21:04.259 --> 00:21:05.799
This is your first podcast. Is that right?
558
00:21:05.819 --> 00:21:07.940
It's my first podcast and it's already feeling like I've
559
00:21:07.960 --> 00:21:08.460
done it wrong.
560
00:21:08.779 --> 00:21:09.119
No.
561
00:21:09.160 --> 00:21:09.940
What are you talking about?
562
00:21:09.960 --> 00:21:11.720
Oh, but you know what I can tell?
563
00:21:11.799 --> 00:21:12.420
This is you.
564
00:21:12.440 --> 00:21:12.519
Yeah.
565
00:21:12.779 --> 00:21:12.980
Yeah.
566
00:21:13.410 --> 00:21:16.069
This is you, which is, uh, my guess is you
567
00:21:16.089 --> 00:21:17.950
don't like to watch yourself do your work.
568
00:21:18.390 --> 00:21:21.099
No, it's very rare that I like that. I like
569
00:21:21.119 --> 00:21:23.190
it on this on, on Fleischman is in trouble.
570
00:21:23.380 --> 00:21:23.900
I like that.
571
00:21:24.079 --> 00:21:24.660
I like watching that.
572
00:21:24.680 --> 00:21:29.160
Which by the way, I told you this before we started, um, uh,
573
00:21:29.279 --> 00:21:32.200
Fleischman is in trouble with it's with you and Claire
574
00:21:32.240 --> 00:21:37.079
Danes and Jesse Eisenberg. And, uh, I was binge watching
575
00:21:37.160 --> 00:21:40.559
it and I am loving it and it's such a
576
00:21:40.579 --> 00:21:43.349
good story and it's so compelling. that it got to
577
00:21:43.369 --> 00:21:44.670
the end of the third episode and they said, yeah,
578
00:21:44.690 --> 00:21:46.730
now you have to wait for more. And I became
579
00:21:46.769 --> 00:21:50.210
enraged and pulled my flat screen off the wall. Wow,
580
00:21:50.529 --> 00:21:53.119
so strong. Yeah, oh, I didn't mean for that to
581
00:21:53.160 --> 00:21:56.000
come out, but with a slight tug of my massive
582
00:21:56.140 --> 00:22:01.490
arms and a bit of a torque of my perfect
583
00:22:01.549 --> 00:22:05.170
six pack. And I'm just describing what happened. It easily
584
00:22:05.210 --> 00:22:06.029
came out of the wall.
585
00:22:06.589 --> 00:22:07.309
Slid right off.
586
00:22:07.430 --> 00:22:09.210
I threw it up into the sky.
587
00:22:09.230 --> 00:22:10.609
Must have been poorly installed.
588
00:22:10.630 --> 00:22:10.829
Yeah.
589
00:22:11.609 --> 00:22:13.470
I like torque of my six pack.
590
00:22:13.509 --> 00:22:16.670
I've never heard that before. It was a slight torque.
591
00:22:16.799 --> 00:22:19.019
And just then, some photographers were there and they took
592
00:22:19.039 --> 00:22:20.319
beautiful black and white photographs.
593
00:22:20.339 --> 00:22:21.440
Were you oiled at the time?
594
00:22:21.480 --> 00:22:22.619
I was oiled and bare chested.
595
00:22:22.640 --> 00:22:23.220
Oh, that's nice.
596
00:22:23.359 --> 00:22:24.960
And then I threw the flat screen up into the
597
00:22:25.000 --> 00:22:26.339
sky and it went into the sun.
598
00:22:26.599 --> 00:22:26.940
Whoa.
599
00:22:26.960 --> 00:22:27.480
Something, yeah.
600
00:22:28.039 --> 00:22:29.759
And just disappeared. But anyway.
601
00:22:31.200 --> 00:22:31.880
I love it.
602
00:22:32.160 --> 00:22:34.230
Not every day you meet an Irish legend.
603
00:22:34.430 --> 00:22:35.750
I know what you mean, Coo Column.
604
00:22:35.970 --> 00:22:39.049
Leaping vast distances, holding off armies.
605
00:22:39.210 --> 00:22:41.309
Eating tons of fresh grass.
606
00:22:41.470 --> 00:22:41.750
What?
607
00:22:41.890 --> 00:22:44.990
Not you, we're cows. That's one of the reasons Irish
608
00:22:45.029 --> 00:22:48.710
milk is so good. It's famous all over the world.
609
00:22:48.990 --> 00:22:49.490
Legend.
610
00:22:51.059 --> 00:22:54.140
Ireland's grass and our farmers' commitment to more sustainable actions
611
00:22:54.420 --> 00:22:57.960
help make Irish dairy a true Irish legend. Always look
612
00:22:57.980 --> 00:23:02.039
for the National Dairy Council guarantee. Learn more at ndc.ie.
613
00:23:03.799 --> 00:23:06.400
Due to the leaves falling in autumn and the challenges
614
00:23:06.460 --> 00:23:09.680
this brings, Eireann Road Eireann wishes to advise customers that
615
00:23:09.720 --> 00:23:12.740
a revised timetable will take effect on Dart and Dublin
616
00:23:12.779 --> 00:23:17.730
commuter routes from Monday, September 21st until December 12th. Morning
617
00:23:17.750 --> 00:23:20.750
and evening peak services will be affected with some earlier
618
00:23:20.789 --> 00:23:23.829
departure times. Please check travel times on the Eireann Road
619
00:23:23.930 --> 00:23:28.019
Eireann app or irishrail.ie. Eireann Road Eireann is part of
620
00:23:28.059 --> 00:23:29.460
the Transport for Ireland network.
621
00:23:32.319 --> 00:23:34.140
Did you always want to become a teacher?
622
00:23:34.359 --> 00:23:35.500
For as long as I can remember.
623
00:23:35.809 --> 00:23:40.390
Danny! Shut up!
624
00:23:40.430 --> 00:23:41.809
You pushed a girl down the stairs.
625
00:23:41.829 --> 00:23:44.690
I'm going to tell everyone. You attacked me. Let me go!
626
00:23:45.069 --> 00:23:46.710
I hate you!
627
00:23:46.769 --> 00:23:50.079
Investigations continue into the disappearance of Danny Carter.
628
00:23:50.099 --> 00:23:51.640
You're never letting me go, are you? Is anyone feeling
629
00:23:51.660 --> 00:24:02.279
sad or anxious now? All right.
630
00:24:07.440 --> 00:24:10.519
I'm also a fan of your co-stars. Claire Danes is
631
00:24:10.640 --> 00:24:15.849
a lovely person, obviously very talented. Jesse Eisenberg, he first
632
00:24:15.869 --> 00:24:17.670
came on my show many years ago when he was
633
00:24:17.710 --> 00:24:19.569
just starting out, I think for Squid and the Whale.
634
00:24:20.190 --> 00:24:23.569
And a couple of days later, a handwritten note showed
635
00:24:23.609 --> 00:24:24.390
up on my desk.
636
00:24:24.609 --> 00:24:25.210
That's adorable.
637
00:24:25.410 --> 00:24:30.400
And from... This very nice boy wrote me a beautiful
638
00:24:30.619 --> 00:24:33.049
letter thanking me for having him on the show.
639
00:24:33.069 --> 00:24:33.730
That's so nice.
640
00:24:33.809 --> 00:24:36.329
And he had me. He was like, that guy had me.
641
00:24:36.529 --> 00:24:38.670
And then a couple of other times I've received a
642
00:24:38.890 --> 00:24:42.349
nice Jesse Eisenberg. So, Jesse, if you're out there, I
643
00:24:42.930 --> 00:24:43.970
need another letter soon.
644
00:24:44.619 --> 00:24:46.579
He is a sweet boy.
645
00:24:46.660 --> 00:24:47.599
He's a really sweet guy.
646
00:24:47.640 --> 00:24:50.019
Now he's a sweet man, 40 years old.
647
00:24:50.579 --> 00:24:51.730
Well, according to Wikipedia, he's 67.
648
00:24:51.720 --> 00:24:52.019
Oh, damn.
649
00:24:53.369 --> 00:24:55.869
He is the best guy.
650
00:24:56.150 --> 00:24:57.190
I love him.
651
00:24:57.210 --> 00:24:57.789
Just take it easy.
652
00:24:57.849 --> 00:25:02.599
No, he is the best. The funniest. Just like a
653
00:25:02.660 --> 00:25:03.720
guy in the public eye.
654
00:25:04.619 --> 00:25:06.640
Have you seen him rip a TV off a wall?
655
00:25:07.240 --> 00:25:09.839
Bare chested and oiled? Yeah, I'd like to see Jesse
656
00:25:09.859 --> 00:25:12.559
do that. I guess if the walls were made of oatmeal,
657
00:25:13.539 --> 00:25:15.049
it would come right on.
658
00:25:15.109 --> 00:25:15.789
What a weird insult.
659
00:25:15.849 --> 00:25:16.450
Hey, Jesse.
660
00:25:16.829 --> 00:25:19.549
Jesse, if you're listening, if you had to rip a
661
00:25:19.609 --> 00:25:21.170
flat screen off a wall, the wall would have to
662
00:25:21.190 --> 00:25:21.750
be made of oatmeal.
663
00:25:21.769 --> 00:25:22.009
Jesus.
664
00:25:23.509 --> 00:25:24.630
Going to write you a letter about that.
665
00:25:24.690 --> 00:25:27.059
We'll be right back with more insults no one's ever
666
00:25:27.099 --> 00:25:31.460
said in the history of mankind. I'm curious because I
667
00:25:31.480 --> 00:25:33.380
have not talked to you about this, but to me,
668
00:25:33.440 --> 00:25:36.170
you are a very natural talent and it makes me
669
00:25:36.210 --> 00:25:38.490
feel like you must have known you wanted to do
670
00:25:38.509 --> 00:25:41.009
this at an early age. But that was not the case.
671
00:25:41.109 --> 00:25:42.970
You had other dreams, other schemes.
672
00:25:43.170 --> 00:25:46.549
I mean, now looking back, yes, I was very young
673
00:25:46.710 --> 00:25:48.869
when I decided this. But at the time, it didn't.
674
00:25:48.930 --> 00:25:51.329
Because again, grew up in LA, did not have these
675
00:25:51.630 --> 00:25:55.529
dreams of actress work. I'm not even going to say stardom.
676
00:25:55.910 --> 00:26:00.710
So being a working actress, didn't think about it. And then, yeah,
677
00:26:00.769 --> 00:26:03.019
I went to a performing arts high school and I
678
00:26:03.390 --> 00:26:07.579
played the piano. And I used to be pretty good
679
00:26:07.599 --> 00:26:09.099
at the piano, but I was never going to be
680
00:26:09.140 --> 00:26:13.589
like a, Right?
681
00:26:13.609 --> 00:26:14.650
Let's just watch the language.
682
00:26:14.690 --> 00:26:17.880
Okay, sorry. And then I needed, so I quit the
683
00:26:17.920 --> 00:26:20.700
piano and then I needed an elective to stay in
684
00:26:21.039 --> 00:26:23.680
the academy. And so I just said, I'll do acting
685
00:26:23.720 --> 00:26:26.319
because I don't know how to sing or dance or
686
00:26:26.500 --> 00:26:29.569
play the saxophone. So I did that. And then now
687
00:26:29.589 --> 00:26:31.150
I do this for a living.
688
00:26:31.210 --> 00:26:33.230
Did you feel like Freaks and Geeks was the first
689
00:26:33.309 --> 00:26:36.309
moment where you felt like, oh, this gelling or were
690
00:26:36.329 --> 00:26:38.130
there experiences before Freaks and Geeks?
691
00:26:38.549 --> 00:26:40.579
That was my first experience. That was the first thing.
692
00:26:40.599 --> 00:26:41.730
You hadn't done like a commercial?
693
00:26:41.819 --> 00:26:42.210
Nothing.
694
00:26:42.460 --> 00:26:42.660
Okay.
695
00:26:42.680 --> 00:26:46.119
My first thing was one line on Freaks and Geeks
696
00:26:46.380 --> 00:26:49.880
opposite Ben Foster, who was amazing in the show. Like
697
00:26:49.920 --> 00:26:51.099
everybody in that show was amazing.
698
00:26:51.160 --> 00:26:52.200
Yeah.
699
00:26:52.220 --> 00:26:54.359
And I just found, I had to go through, like
700
00:26:54.420 --> 00:26:56.259
periodically I have to go through this big box of
701
00:26:56.299 --> 00:27:00.059
old photos, usually like for set decoration for whatever I'm
702
00:27:00.079 --> 00:27:01.859
working on. They always want to, you know, like put
703
00:27:01.920 --> 00:27:04.140
your own family photos and photos of you when you're
704
00:27:04.160 --> 00:27:06.269
a little kid up. So I go through this box
705
00:27:06.289 --> 00:27:08.130
and I found this photo that I hadn't seen forever.
706
00:27:08.170 --> 00:27:12.309
And it was the day that I had done this job,
707
00:27:12.349 --> 00:27:14.890
this Freaks and Geeks one day of work, first day ever.
708
00:27:15.250 --> 00:27:17.619
And I remember this moment. I remember sitting there like
709
00:27:17.670 --> 00:27:20.779
talking to my dad and his girlfriend and being like,
710
00:27:20.880 --> 00:27:23.839
it was so crazy. There was somebody. So I'd never
711
00:27:23.880 --> 00:27:26.299
even been on a set. And it's like, you stand
712
00:27:26.359 --> 00:27:28.339
on this thing. It's like a piece of paper or
713
00:27:28.380 --> 00:27:30.450
a tape and they call it a mark. And I
714
00:27:30.470 --> 00:27:32.730
was eating a banana. And then it was time for
715
00:27:32.769 --> 00:27:35.430
us to shoot the thing. And somebody came and just
716
00:27:35.670 --> 00:27:38.880
held my banana for me and then like gave it
717
00:27:38.930 --> 00:27:40.960
back to me. And then somebody else did that with
718
00:27:41.000 --> 00:27:43.559
my jacket. And it was like it blew every part
719
00:27:43.599 --> 00:27:45.859
of it completely blew my mind. And now I'm just
720
00:27:46.059 --> 00:27:46.799
jaded as hell.
721
00:27:46.960 --> 00:27:47.240
Yeah.
722
00:27:47.259 --> 00:27:49.279
I'm like, why am I holding my own fucking banana?
723
00:27:49.339 --> 00:27:55.920
Where's our banana holder?
724
00:27:56.019 --> 00:27:58.210
Lizzie's locked herself in her trailer. She won't come out.
725
00:27:58.789 --> 00:28:03.869
Where's my fucking banana holder? Fucking ringling circles, you're running here.
726
00:28:05.329 --> 00:28:08.930
I remember, it's sweet that you say that because I...
727
00:28:09.710 --> 00:28:11.950
I am still very in touch with when I first
728
00:28:11.990 --> 00:28:15.269
got started. And again, this is, you know, you were
729
00:28:15.309 --> 00:28:19.250
a baby when this happened, but my, uh, my writing partner,
730
00:28:19.289 --> 00:28:21.859
Greg Daniels, and I came out to LA and we
731
00:28:21.880 --> 00:28:24.079
had our first job right out of college working on
732
00:28:24.119 --> 00:28:27.380
a show on HBO called not necessarily the news. And
733
00:28:27.720 --> 00:28:29.900
they showed us where our desks were going to be like,
734
00:28:30.339 --> 00:28:32.579
here's where you work. You'll have desks that we had
735
00:28:32.619 --> 00:28:36.539
desks that faced each other like bankers. And you're going
736
00:28:36.559 --> 00:28:38.349
to sit in this room and pump out you know,
737
00:28:38.390 --> 00:28:40.029
just write gags on these typewriters.
738
00:28:40.930 --> 00:28:45.109
I'm sorry, what year was this?
739
00:28:45.109 --> 00:28:45.289
1985.
740
00:28:45.289 --> 00:28:49.769
This is September 1985. And yeah, it's typewriters. That's crazy.
741
00:28:50.049 --> 00:28:52.789
And so, but I remember the first thing they showed
742
00:28:52.829 --> 00:28:54.109
us our office and they said, oh, and by the way,
743
00:28:54.150 --> 00:28:57.210
this here is the snack room. So, and it was
744
00:28:57.250 --> 00:29:01.410
a room that was just, you know, had like, you know, popcorn,
745
00:29:02.150 --> 00:29:05.880
potato chips, sodas, cookies, you know, junk food.
746
00:29:05.900 --> 00:29:06.220
Snacks?
747
00:29:06.609 --> 00:29:07.049
Snacks.
748
00:29:07.609 --> 00:29:16.430
Could you actually list a few more snacks I'm not?
749
00:29:16.569 --> 00:29:19.630
A Cracker Jack, say, which would be a popcorn with caramel.
750
00:29:19.690 --> 00:29:21.369
I get it.
751
00:29:21.390 --> 00:29:24.789
A Snickers bar. Anyway, Greg Daniels, who went on to
752
00:29:24.809 --> 00:29:29.750
do the American Office and Parks and Rec and I'm
753
00:29:29.950 --> 00:29:32.089
gonna list all of his shows now and more snacks.
754
00:29:32.230 --> 00:29:32.990
Yeah.
755
00:29:34.319 --> 00:29:37.079
No, Greg came, he went there and he came back
756
00:29:37.119 --> 00:29:39.210
and he had a paper plate and it had some
757
00:29:39.390 --> 00:29:41.140
potato chips and cookies and stuff on it. And he
758
00:29:41.160 --> 00:29:44.220
was like, this, we get to have this. Now, keep
759
00:29:44.259 --> 00:29:47.259
in mind, he's 22, I'm 22. And he's like, we
760
00:29:47.299 --> 00:29:49.000
get to have this. I don't think we have to pay.
761
00:29:49.019 --> 00:29:52.240
And he'd like eat them. And then they go, I'll
762
00:29:52.259 --> 00:29:56.049
be right back. And it was the pure joy, which,
763
00:29:56.119 --> 00:29:59.609
you know, and now here we are a million years later,
764
00:30:00.130 --> 00:30:03.750
but I still remember the joy of, I'm sorry, you know,
765
00:30:04.250 --> 00:30:07.750
when I was at Saturday Night Live, at the craft
766
00:30:07.769 --> 00:30:10.269
service table. So we can have this? And do we
767
00:30:10.289 --> 00:30:11.230
have to sign for it?
768
00:30:11.369 --> 00:30:11.990
No, no, no.
769
00:30:12.069 --> 00:30:13.190
That's a craft service table.
770
00:30:13.309 --> 00:30:15.650
Anybody that comes to visit, that's the thing that blows
771
00:30:15.690 --> 00:30:17.539
their mind the most. It takes you back to those moments.
772
00:30:17.579 --> 00:30:20.779
But I feel that way about like an office supply closet.
773
00:30:21.500 --> 00:30:22.380
With like pens.
774
00:30:22.460 --> 00:30:22.819
Yes.
775
00:30:23.259 --> 00:30:26.539
And like post-its. You just take as many as you want.
776
00:30:26.559 --> 00:30:27.559
Yeah, yeah.
777
00:30:27.619 --> 00:30:28.160
That's crazy.
778
00:30:28.200 --> 00:30:31.490
And you sometimes think, and to this day, if I
779
00:30:31.509 --> 00:30:34.490
grab a couple, I mean, this is my... you know,
780
00:30:34.509 --> 00:30:36.730
a podcast company building.
781
00:30:36.769 --> 00:30:36.990
Yeah.
782
00:30:37.430 --> 00:30:41.640
But if, if I grabbed a couple of my favorite pens,
783
00:30:42.259 --> 00:30:46.339
we all know what they are. Um, The pilot precise grip.
784
00:30:46.380 --> 00:30:47.119
What are they?
785
00:30:47.940 --> 00:30:49.880
And anyway, but you know what I mean? There's a
786
00:30:49.920 --> 00:30:51.680
part of me that thinks I might get stopped on
787
00:30:51.700 --> 00:30:52.460
the way out the door.
788
00:30:52.500 --> 00:30:55.359
Yeah, and you make us pay for snacks.
789
00:30:55.940 --> 00:30:59.710
I went and I bought one of those 1940s, those
790
00:30:59.750 --> 00:31:01.309
machines that dispense sandwiches.
791
00:31:01.329 --> 00:31:02.009
Autobat?
792
00:31:02.250 --> 00:31:04.069
Yeah, and so I installed an Autobat.
793
00:31:04.089 --> 00:31:06.029
Of course you know what it's called.
794
00:31:06.190 --> 00:31:07.130
What the fuck?
795
00:31:07.690 --> 00:31:10.630
And if people want toilet paper, they have to put
796
00:31:10.690 --> 00:31:13.150
in and you have to find you have to find
797
00:31:13.230 --> 00:31:14.650
nickels and dimes from the 1950s.
798
00:31:17.619 --> 00:31:18.630
Such a fun office.
799
00:31:18.819 --> 00:31:19.859
Oh, it's terrific.
800
00:31:19.890 --> 00:31:22.000
We're really great.
801
00:31:22.539 --> 00:31:24.839
So you did that. And then I know that you
802
00:31:25.099 --> 00:31:27.279
did all these different projects and you weren't.
803
00:31:27.440 --> 00:31:27.559
But.
804
00:31:28.019 --> 00:31:30.359
Then Mean Girls comes along. Yes.
805
00:31:30.460 --> 00:31:31.640
And there was a lot of, well.
806
00:31:31.819 --> 00:31:33.680
Because there was a lot that happened before Mean Girls.
807
00:31:33.700 --> 00:31:34.160
You were known.
808
00:31:34.259 --> 00:31:37.839
Ish, ish, ish, ish. Definitely like Freaks and Geeks Wild.
809
00:31:37.920 --> 00:31:40.480
It was like a mind-blowing experience just because it was
810
00:31:40.519 --> 00:31:43.789
all so new. It was not, I didn't like feel
811
00:31:43.960 --> 00:31:46.569
connected to anything. It was just all overwhelming.
812
00:31:46.690 --> 00:31:46.869
Right.
813
00:31:46.930 --> 00:31:50.069
It wasn't fun. It was just like, I can't believe
814
00:31:50.089 --> 00:31:50.970
I'm doing this.
815
00:31:51.049 --> 00:31:51.250
Yeah.
816
00:31:51.490 --> 00:31:53.430
And I did a few episodes of it. And every
817
00:31:53.470 --> 00:31:55.990
episode felt like that. And then sometimes I think like
818
00:31:56.250 --> 00:31:59.410
that some actors only have that experience. Like they only have, oh,
819
00:31:59.549 --> 00:32:01.569
people were sort of nice and it was fine, but
820
00:32:01.589 --> 00:32:03.910
I didn't like bond with anybody and I didn't become
821
00:32:03.950 --> 00:32:07.170
like homies with the makeup. Like they don't have the
822
00:32:07.230 --> 00:32:10.059
full experience. Well, what I consider to be the full experience.
823
00:32:10.099 --> 00:32:12.700
And I think it would be a really bad job
824
00:32:12.960 --> 00:32:16.160
if you only got that version of it. Because so
825
00:32:16.220 --> 00:32:19.019
much of it is like you build these really intense
826
00:32:19.059 --> 00:32:22.869
relationships with so many people throughout. you know, every job,
827
00:32:22.950 --> 00:32:24.829
maybe you keep like one or two friends as you
828
00:32:24.869 --> 00:32:28.009
move on. But like, it is, I couldn't, the main, like, oh,
829
00:32:28.029 --> 00:32:29.890
I couldn't work in an office thing is I couldn't
830
00:32:29.990 --> 00:32:33.589
imagine not having that full on. We are related to
831
00:32:33.630 --> 00:32:35.569
each other. We are in love with each other. And
832
00:32:35.630 --> 00:32:36.670
now I'll never see you again.
833
00:32:36.690 --> 00:32:37.569
I need that weird.
834
00:32:37.730 --> 00:32:37.990
Right.
835
00:32:38.089 --> 00:32:40.230
It's like, it's like being in, I mean, I shouldn't
836
00:32:40.269 --> 00:32:43.990
say this, but it's akin in some way to being
837
00:32:44.039 --> 00:32:46.200
in the trenches with some people. Like it feels, it
838
00:32:46.259 --> 00:32:48.000
feels like we're in this, we got to make this
839
00:32:48.079 --> 00:32:51.150
work together. And then these bonds form.
840
00:32:51.349 --> 00:32:53.869
It bonds you. And then like the saying, the abrupt goodbye,
841
00:32:53.890 --> 00:32:56.730
it took me, I guess that's the one difference. It's
842
00:32:56.769 --> 00:32:58.839
like you do these, you did the same show forever.
843
00:32:58.880 --> 00:33:00.920
You stuck around with these people. But for me, it
844
00:33:00.960 --> 00:33:03.640
was like you have these experiences and then you really
845
00:33:03.720 --> 00:33:07.460
do like depart this family. And I don't know a
846
00:33:07.559 --> 00:33:11.099
single actor, certainly not any that I'm friends with that
847
00:33:11.140 --> 00:33:14.349
don't have like severe abandonment issues. And like we just
848
00:33:14.390 --> 00:33:16.690
go and do this to ourselves all the time. Like,
849
00:33:17.529 --> 00:33:17.990
it's wild.
850
00:33:18.029 --> 00:33:21.019
You know what's funny? We always choose the thing that
851
00:33:21.059 --> 00:33:24.339
we fear most as a kid, and it's documented because
852
00:33:24.440 --> 00:33:27.480
I would talk about it, and I actually wrote the
853
00:33:27.500 --> 00:33:30.859
writer E.B. White a letter telling him I wanted to
854
00:33:30.920 --> 00:33:34.329
do something and maybe be a writer, but that I
855
00:33:34.900 --> 00:33:37.089
was very afraid of criticism, and he wrote me back.
856
00:33:37.890 --> 00:33:39.450
And this is in 1980, so what am I, like
857
00:33:39.450 --> 00:33:40.029
16 years old?
858
00:33:40.230 --> 00:33:40.609
And I know.
859
00:33:45.700 --> 00:33:49.109
That my nightmare was, what's the thing I care about
860
00:33:49.150 --> 00:33:53.789
the most? Being funny. What would terrify me the most?
861
00:33:54.450 --> 00:33:56.130
To be up in front of people trying to be
862
00:33:56.190 --> 00:33:59.319
funny and have it not work. I would rather be
863
00:33:59.400 --> 00:34:02.119
burned with acid than have that happen. What did I
864
00:34:02.160 --> 00:34:02.720
choose to do?
865
00:34:02.740 --> 00:34:03.079
Yeah.
866
00:34:04.339 --> 00:34:06.900
Yeah, but isn't that impressive that you did that with
867
00:34:06.940 --> 00:34:10.179
your life? Like you faced the thing that scared you.
868
00:34:10.460 --> 00:34:12.440
And yeah, you always have to like put it in context. Like, no,
869
00:34:12.480 --> 00:34:14.340
it's not as impressive as like X, Y, and Z.
870
00:34:14.360 --> 00:34:15.280
We're just entertainers.
871
00:34:15.300 --> 00:34:16.059
We're pieces of shit.
872
00:34:16.079 --> 00:34:16.559
Don't worry.
873
00:34:16.599 --> 00:34:16.940
Don't worry.
874
00:34:16.980 --> 00:34:20.219
We hate ourselves. But it is like, you know, we're
875
00:34:20.260 --> 00:34:22.460
like facing the thing that's scary.
876
00:34:22.599 --> 00:34:25.099
So you said, and do you think this is something
877
00:34:25.400 --> 00:34:28.800
that is true of you and other actors is abandonment issues?
878
00:34:29.239 --> 00:34:29.710
Yeah.
879
00:34:29.730 --> 00:34:32.389
I mean, that's been my experience for sure.
880
00:34:32.510 --> 00:34:32.750
Right.
881
00:34:32.889 --> 00:34:33.190
And then.
882
00:34:33.690 --> 00:34:35.690
Is it something you had your whole life?
883
00:34:35.889 --> 00:34:36.010
Yes.
884
00:34:36.190 --> 00:34:38.989
I mean, yes. I mean, I know my mom died
885
00:34:39.030 --> 00:34:40.170
and that's when it happened.
886
00:34:40.230 --> 00:34:41.550
And you were quite young, I think.
887
00:34:41.610 --> 00:34:42.530
Thirteen, yeah.
888
00:34:42.650 --> 00:34:42.969
Yeah, damn.
889
00:34:43.150 --> 00:34:45.710
But then, like, you see all these. And I think
890
00:34:45.750 --> 00:34:47.710
it was especially painful at the beginning because when you're
891
00:34:47.730 --> 00:34:51.059
doing especially, like, young people, high school things, for example,
892
00:34:51.119 --> 00:34:53.079
when I did a bunch of those, there's this whole
893
00:34:53.280 --> 00:34:55.960
social element to it. I'm very happy to have graduated
894
00:34:56.019 --> 00:34:56.760
from this, to be honest.
895
00:34:56.780 --> 00:34:57.659
I aged out of.
896
00:34:57.699 --> 00:35:00.119
It because it used to be like, okay, we're in college.
897
00:35:00.630 --> 00:35:03.329
Canada for two months and we're gonna work together but
898
00:35:03.349 --> 00:35:05.219
we're also gonna be best friends and we have to
899
00:35:05.260 --> 00:35:07.519
go out every single night together and if you don't
900
00:35:07.559 --> 00:35:09.320
go out then you're left out and it's like this
901
00:35:09.380 --> 00:35:13.199
whole social element to it which is exhausting and then
902
00:35:13.519 --> 00:35:16.429
you're convinced you're gonna be best friends forever and you
903
00:35:16.489 --> 00:35:19.329
never are like you put those relationships you like put
904
00:35:19.349 --> 00:35:21.469
them in the real world and they fizzle and die
905
00:35:21.530 --> 00:35:24.780
except for like maybe one or two and The same
906
00:35:24.800 --> 00:35:29.070
thing with romantic relationships. This is true love. You have
907
00:35:29.090 --> 00:35:32.909
to learn that a few times. I think that's a
908
00:35:32.929 --> 00:35:36.329
pretty universal thing. Then as soon as you're not living
909
00:35:36.369 --> 00:35:41.130
in a hotel room with nothing, no responsibilities whatsoever.
910
00:35:41.150 --> 00:35:43.250
No distractions. Nothing.
911
00:35:43.849 --> 00:35:46.949
But the people I know who still hold on to that,
912
00:35:47.190 --> 00:35:49.150
and there are very few now that we're grown-ups and
913
00:35:49.170 --> 00:35:53.070
people have families and stuff, but you don't expect to
914
00:35:53.630 --> 00:35:55.429
It's never going to be the same. You accept that
915
00:35:55.469 --> 00:35:57.349
it's never going to be the same. It was interesting
916
00:35:57.710 --> 00:36:02.190
with Fleischman because Taffy, who wrote the book and the show,
917
00:36:02.210 --> 00:36:06.210
it was her first experience doing a television show. And
918
00:36:06.349 --> 00:36:09.030
she's experiencing all of that for the first time, like
919
00:36:09.769 --> 00:36:12.159
on the last day of work, like how emotional that was,
920
00:36:12.179 --> 00:36:15.099
last day of shooting. But then what happens? And how
921
00:36:15.139 --> 00:36:16.380
do we stay close?
922
00:36:16.400 --> 00:36:17.539
How do we keep this going?
923
00:36:17.579 --> 00:36:19.460
Yeah, but you do get used to it. It's like
924
00:36:19.500 --> 00:36:23.719
a callous forms. And so... For Taffy, seeing it with
925
00:36:23.780 --> 00:36:24.960
her for the first time, and I just had to
926
00:36:25.000 --> 00:36:26.469
be like, it's not going to continue.
927
00:36:26.889 --> 00:36:27.289
This is it.
928
00:36:27.829 --> 00:36:30.150
As bad as it feels now, it's not going to
929
00:36:30.230 --> 00:36:33.920
feel better. You're just going to maybe have another fun experience, hopefully,
930
00:36:33.940 --> 00:36:36.019
in the future. But, like, this is dead.
931
00:36:36.539 --> 00:36:37.989
Oh, my God.
932
00:36:38.010 --> 00:36:40.170
There's nothing that I can say to you other than
933
00:36:40.190 --> 00:36:43.190
the truth, which is, like, it feels bad. But most
934
00:36:43.230 --> 00:36:44.769
of us have been doing this for so long, we're
935
00:36:44.849 --> 00:36:45.670
used to the feeling.
936
00:36:45.690 --> 00:36:47.969
Couldn't you lie to her just a little bit?
937
00:36:49.329 --> 00:36:53.050
Like, this is it. You've peaked. Sorry.
938
00:36:53.130 --> 00:36:54.250
Peaked.
939
00:36:54.429 --> 00:36:54.809
Yeah.
940
00:36:54.969 --> 00:36:55.550
Yeah.
941
00:36:56.610 --> 00:36:57.230
It's horrible.
942
00:36:57.289 --> 00:36:58.869
How is Taffy now? Is she okay?
943
00:36:59.130 --> 00:37:00.920
Yeah, but there's still, I mean, we're still in it,
944
00:37:00.949 --> 00:37:03.309
you know, like especially with this rollout, like the old
945
00:37:03.389 --> 00:37:07.110
school week by week episodes coming out. It's still happening,
946
00:37:07.820 --> 00:37:09.980
but not for much longer. You know, for a few
947
00:37:10.000 --> 00:37:11.480
more weeks then I'll call her and be like, now
948
00:37:11.519 --> 00:37:12.780
it's really over.
949
00:37:14.760 --> 00:37:15.320
It sucks.
950
00:37:15.360 --> 00:37:17.639
Like I do feel for her and the premiere was
951
00:37:17.679 --> 00:37:20.480
in New York and for many reasons it was such
952
00:37:20.519 --> 00:37:25.059
a celebration. Like it felt the first time like post,
953
00:37:25.179 --> 00:37:29.519
like truly post pandemic. Like it was in Carnegie Hall
954
00:37:29.579 --> 00:37:31.480
and at Tavern on the Green. And I hadn't been
955
00:37:31.519 --> 00:37:34.119
to a big premiere in so long. And she kept
956
00:37:34.159 --> 00:37:37.800
saying like, it's like my bat mitzvah. And it really
957
00:37:37.840 --> 00:37:41.829
was the happiest night of her life. And it was
958
00:37:41.889 --> 00:37:43.849
so fun. It was genuinely fun. And those premiere parties
959
00:37:43.889 --> 00:37:45.949
are never fun. Like they're always just kind of work.
960
00:37:46.190 --> 00:37:48.110
And I'm always in her ear like, They're never fun
961
00:37:48.150 --> 00:37:50.329
like this, you know. It's probably never going to be
962
00:37:50.369 --> 00:37:52.300
fun like this again. The whole time on set.
963
00:37:52.309 --> 00:37:53.469
It's good to have you around.
964
00:37:53.949 --> 00:37:55.329
I like it.
965
00:37:55.349 --> 00:37:56.349
What do you like on the holidays?
966
00:37:57.699 --> 00:38:01.280
This is probably our last Christmas as a family.
967
00:38:02.019 --> 00:38:03.400
The tree was a pagan symbol.
968
00:38:04.880 --> 00:38:07.840
But it is. Fleischman was one of those lucky things where, like,
969
00:38:07.880 --> 00:38:12.880
everybody in the cast was nice. Everybody came together. Like
970
00:38:12.940 --> 00:38:16.300
very prepared. All these things that don't happen every time.
971
00:38:16.340 --> 00:38:20.179
Everybody bonded. It really felt like a family. And everybody
972
00:38:20.219 --> 00:38:23.400
says that. And it rarely actually feels like a family family.
973
00:38:23.420 --> 00:38:26.219
But this did to the point where Taffy gave a
974
00:38:26.320 --> 00:38:30.789
speech at the premiere and she thanked her. sons and
975
00:38:30.849 --> 00:38:34.630
her her husband Claude at the end and everybody I
976
00:38:34.630 --> 00:38:38.070
mean the thunderous applause for Claude because everybody in that
977
00:38:38.130 --> 00:38:41.789
room knew like we took your wife away and you
978
00:38:41.809 --> 00:38:43.590
had to hold it down and like the first time
979
00:38:43.610 --> 00:38:46.340
you do a show I can't imagine anything crazier And
980
00:38:46.360 --> 00:38:49.699
everybody knew Claude and everybody knew how he stepped up
981
00:38:49.739 --> 00:38:53.099
in the greatest way. And it felt like genuinely like
982
00:38:53.360 --> 00:38:55.539
the warmth in the room for this show. I have
983
00:38:55.599 --> 00:38:58.280
never experienced anything like that. And I think it is
984
00:38:58.320 --> 00:39:01.039
because of Taffy coming in all green and bright eyed
985
00:39:01.059 --> 00:39:02.860
and like, this is amazing. And it's nice to have
986
00:39:02.880 --> 00:39:04.940
somebody remind you like, oh, actually, this is amazing.
987
00:39:05.059 --> 00:39:10.409
Yeah, it is my experience. I saw it at SNL
988
00:39:10.909 --> 00:39:13.570
when I'd been there for a while and was really
989
00:39:13.630 --> 00:39:16.039
still blown away by it. but I'll never forget when
990
00:39:16.099 --> 00:39:18.860
Adam Sandler showed up for the first time as a kid,
991
00:39:19.340 --> 00:39:21.110
all he kept doing was coming by and going like, oh,
992
00:39:21.150 --> 00:39:25.190
this is the best. This is the best. Oh my God.
993
00:39:25.210 --> 00:39:26.929
Did you, you know, and again, that same kind of thing,
994
00:39:26.949 --> 00:39:30.829
like these snacks are free. And, um, you know, and
995
00:39:30.849 --> 00:39:35.670
I thought I've always been drawn to that energy. I
996
00:39:35.889 --> 00:39:41.159
love that energy because I think the biggest challenge, and
997
00:39:41.199 --> 00:39:42.739
I'm not just talking about show business. I mean, in
998
00:39:42.880 --> 00:39:46.039
any career, the biggest challenge is how do I stay young?
999
00:39:46.059 --> 00:39:49.239
And I don't mean, How do I look young? But
1000
00:39:49.300 --> 00:39:51.610
how do I just keep that sense of, wow, this
1001
00:39:51.670 --> 00:39:52.070
is fun?
1002
00:39:52.250 --> 00:39:52.429
Yeah.
1003
00:39:52.730 --> 00:39:55.940
Which is, you know, you have to work at it.
1004
00:39:56.300 --> 00:39:58.159
It's like stomach crunches or something. You just have to
1005
00:39:58.280 --> 00:39:58.610
do it.
1006
00:39:58.760 --> 00:40:00.050
You really keep bringing up them abs.
1007
00:40:00.340 --> 00:40:00.719
Yeah.
1008
00:40:00.909 --> 00:40:03.010
I don't think you've... We get it.
1009
00:40:03.269 --> 00:40:03.730
Let's see them.
1010
00:40:03.750 --> 00:40:04.630
They're wonderful abs.
1011
00:40:04.769 --> 00:40:11.869
There we go. Slurp, slurp. Slurp, blurp, blarp. The sound
1012
00:40:11.929 --> 00:40:14.210
blarp isn't heard much, but when I take my shirt off,
1013
00:40:14.610 --> 00:40:19.300
you'll hear three blarps as different chunks of abdominal fat
1014
00:40:19.400 --> 00:40:22.039
settle down by my ass.
1015
00:40:22.059 --> 00:40:22.199
No!
1016
00:40:23.619 --> 00:40:24.519
Oh, come on.
1017
00:40:24.639 --> 00:40:26.320
Ladies out there, you getting hot?
1018
00:40:26.440 --> 00:40:28.900
How does your abdominal fat get to your ass?
1019
00:40:29.000 --> 00:40:29.360
Yeah.
1020
00:40:29.579 --> 00:40:30.079
It falls.
1021
00:40:30.280 --> 00:40:30.599
Yeah.
1022
00:40:30.800 --> 00:40:32.019
So it's back abdominal?
1023
00:40:32.039 --> 00:40:34.159
It's like pendulum swings back.
1024
00:40:34.179 --> 00:40:35.000
Thank you.
1025
00:40:35.019 --> 00:40:36.920
Betwixt the legs. Thank you.
1026
00:40:37.019 --> 00:40:37.119
Oh.
1027
00:40:37.400 --> 00:40:37.940
Yeah.
1028
00:40:38.059 --> 00:40:41.219
Thank you. Lizzie saw me come out of the ocean
1029
00:40:41.239 --> 00:40:42.119
and she saw it happen.
1030
00:40:42.139 --> 00:40:45.199
So it's like you're like swing dancing with your body fat.
1031
00:40:45.219 --> 00:40:47.159
That's a beautiful way to think about it.
1032
00:40:47.300 --> 00:40:49.659
I think we're good. It's like that German, that Berlin
1033
00:40:49.699 --> 00:40:54.360
film Swing Dance, which is all about people... German, what
1034
00:40:54.420 --> 00:40:57.480
an improbable film. I think it takes place like during
1035
00:40:57.500 --> 00:41:00.239
World War II when there were Nazis, but kids are,
1036
00:41:00.539 --> 00:41:01.679
Germans are swing dancing.
1037
00:41:01.699 --> 00:41:02.719
You're like, No.
1038
00:41:03.099 --> 00:41:03.340
No.
1039
00:41:03.900 --> 00:41:07.659
You're impressive swing dancers, but maybe oppose this regime.
1040
00:41:08.909 --> 00:41:09.590
Swing kids.
1041
00:41:09.949 --> 00:41:10.530
Swing kids.
1042
00:41:10.630 --> 00:41:12.210
Yeah, I remember that movie.
1043
00:41:12.329 --> 00:41:13.010
Oh, I remember that.
1044
00:41:13.050 --> 00:41:14.070
You actually made a reference.
1045
00:41:14.190 --> 00:41:14.809
I got it.
1046
00:41:14.829 --> 00:41:17.969
Yeah, and then in the end, Hitler's driving by in
1047
00:41:18.050 --> 00:41:22.050
a Mercedes-Benz, and he hears the swing music, and he
1048
00:41:22.090 --> 00:41:23.829
goes in, and he sees them all, and he decides
1049
00:41:23.869 --> 00:41:24.710
to be a better person.
1050
00:41:24.949 --> 00:41:26.170
Oh, that's nice.
1051
00:41:26.289 --> 00:41:26.550
Yeah.
1052
00:41:26.570 --> 00:41:27.289
Good dance.
1053
00:41:27.489 --> 00:41:28.690
God bless dance.
1054
00:41:28.769 --> 00:41:29.170
Yeah.
1055
00:41:30.590 --> 00:41:31.409
It'll save us all.
1056
00:41:31.690 --> 00:41:32.070
It will.
1057
00:41:33.050 --> 00:41:33.710
It will.
1058
00:41:34.289 --> 00:41:36.420
You know, I was going to ask you, because I
1059
00:41:36.440 --> 00:41:39.300
brought up Mean Girls, and this was something that is,
1060
00:41:39.340 --> 00:41:42.559
I think, kind of important to your story, which is
1061
00:41:43.219 --> 00:41:48.510
you played this character who's now iconic, Janice Ian, and
1062
00:41:49.119 --> 00:41:51.769
there was a while where you felt like you needed
1063
00:41:51.829 --> 00:41:55.269
to now change the trajectory after that. Is that true?
1064
00:41:55.409 --> 00:41:58.489
Yes. But that was, honestly, it was such a different time.
1065
00:41:58.789 --> 00:41:58.949
Yeah.
1066
00:41:59.409 --> 00:42:01.789
It also feels it's so strange. It almost feels like
1067
00:42:01.849 --> 00:42:06.269
Mean Girls just came out like recently for whatever reason.
1068
00:42:06.489 --> 00:42:10.809
It's I've been talking to so many kids about Mean
1069
00:42:10.849 --> 00:42:13.750
Girls like it came out so long ago now. And
1070
00:42:13.829 --> 00:42:15.409
it's like it never really goes away, but it just
1071
00:42:15.429 --> 00:42:16.929
feels like there's a weird resurgence.
1072
00:42:17.329 --> 00:42:19.349
I think Mean Girls is one of those films. It's
1073
00:42:19.389 --> 00:42:22.949
a bit there's a bunch, not a bunch. They're they're
1074
00:42:23.210 --> 00:42:25.969
they're few and far between, but it's like an L
1075
00:42:26.030 --> 00:42:28.610
for something that's just going to keep getting rediscovered.
1076
00:42:28.989 --> 00:42:32.190
I think that's probably true based on what's happening. And
1077
00:42:32.449 --> 00:42:34.409
it's it's cool. I mean, I think I used to
1078
00:42:34.449 --> 00:42:37.659
be like, I've done other things, you know, like right
1079
00:42:37.840 --> 00:42:40.480
after the years following. But now I'm like, I'm very
1080
00:42:40.539 --> 00:42:43.429
proud to have been. And I just asked the kids, like,
1081
00:42:43.449 --> 00:42:46.030
but how is this, like this high school in Mean
1082
00:42:46.050 --> 00:42:48.849
Girls doesn't look anything like your current high school. There's
1083
00:42:48.889 --> 00:42:51.489
not like a social media element to any of this.
1084
00:42:51.510 --> 00:42:54.349
Like how, what are you identifying with? You know, kids
1085
00:42:54.389 --> 00:42:58.349
are mean to other kids. It's a beautiful universal truth.
1086
00:42:58.429 --> 00:43:01.730
It's emotionally resonant. But I also think the reason I
1087
00:43:01.750 --> 00:43:05.869
bring it up is I thought when you went to
1088
00:43:05.909 --> 00:43:09.300
Masters of Sex, you had really carved out this very
1089
00:43:09.409 --> 00:43:14.190
enviable niche in comedy. And then you take this big turn,
1090
00:43:14.250 --> 00:43:16.550
which was worked amazingly well.
1091
00:43:16.650 --> 00:43:17.989
Yeah, I don't know how that happened.
1092
00:43:18.030 --> 00:43:20.900
That took a lot of, I would think, that's, talk
1093
00:43:20.920 --> 00:43:22.059
about a brave thing to do. I think that's a
1094
00:43:22.099 --> 00:43:22.880
brave thing to do.
1095
00:43:23.000 --> 00:43:26.000
Oh, I was like, I think it was braver for them, honestly,
1096
00:43:26.039 --> 00:43:29.400
to hire me because I hadn't done anything dramatic. But
1097
00:43:29.780 --> 00:43:32.980
like the, yes, your previous question, the Mean Girls thing,
1098
00:43:33.019 --> 00:43:35.599
I did feel like pigeonholed and typecast, but it's not
1099
00:43:35.659 --> 00:43:39.210
like that for girls playing like, the weird best friend anymore.
1100
00:43:39.250 --> 00:43:41.530
Like the weird best friend gets to be the central
1101
00:43:41.590 --> 00:43:42.289
character now.
1102
00:43:42.349 --> 00:43:42.530
Right.
1103
00:43:42.610 --> 00:43:44.369
Now that now that's the star of the show.
1104
00:43:44.630 --> 00:43:44.849
Yeah.
1105
00:43:44.969 --> 00:43:47.230
And it certainly was not that way. So, yes, I
1106
00:43:47.269 --> 00:43:49.329
tried to do everything to like go against that. And
1107
00:43:49.409 --> 00:43:51.710
I like, you know, got a spray tan and dyed
1108
00:43:51.750 --> 00:43:55.630
my hair blonde and got on this WB show. I
1109
00:43:55.789 --> 00:43:58.840
have a friend, actress Lindsay Sloan, and we met. We've
1110
00:43:58.860 --> 00:44:00.960
been friends many, many years now, but we met in
1111
00:44:01.119 --> 00:44:04.179
audition rooms for these WB shows. And we both are
1112
00:44:04.199 --> 00:44:07.050
like brunette, like Jewish girls. And we wanted to get
1113
00:44:07.110 --> 00:44:12.550
T-shirts made that said, I am WB Pretty. Because you'd
1114
00:44:12.590 --> 00:44:15.550
always get these dudes like, they're going in another direction.
1115
00:44:15.750 --> 00:44:21.889
It's like blonde. We're like, uh-huh. Uh-huh.
1116
00:44:21.909 --> 00:44:21.980
Hmm.
1117
00:44:22.110 --> 00:44:23.000
I could buy a wig.
1118
00:44:23.059 --> 00:44:23.619
Yeah.
1119
00:44:23.780 --> 00:44:25.940
And like, I definitely did. I was like, I'm going
1120
00:44:25.960 --> 00:44:28.559
to fool you into thinking I guess I'm not Jewish
1121
00:44:28.639 --> 00:44:30.780
or whatever. Whatever was required.
1122
00:44:30.820 --> 00:44:32.199
I'm Dutch and I'm from Malibu.
1123
00:44:32.519 --> 00:44:32.800
Oh.
1124
00:44:32.820 --> 00:44:33.380
Yeah.
1125
00:44:33.460 --> 00:44:34.400
I'm new here.
1126
00:44:34.420 --> 00:44:34.699
Yeah.
1127
00:44:34.760 --> 00:44:38.800
It didn't, it didn't. Anyway, but then Masters of Sex,
1128
00:44:38.840 --> 00:44:42.039
like that whole process was crazy. I think I only
1129
00:44:42.440 --> 00:44:46.760
got that job because they weren't shockingly familiar with smash
1130
00:44:46.800 --> 00:44:50.510
hit party down that like nobody in the world saw.
1131
00:44:50.570 --> 00:44:53.489
So they just weren't aware. Like the producers were not
1132
00:44:53.550 --> 00:44:56.510
aware of me. And I just remember going out to
1133
00:44:57.090 --> 00:44:59.309
drinks with them and just talking about how obsessed I
1134
00:44:59.349 --> 00:45:01.449
was with this character. And then it was like the
1135
00:45:01.510 --> 00:45:05.389
perfect time for me. I just really identified with her
1136
00:45:05.409 --> 00:45:07.829
and what she was sort of doing and going through,
1137
00:45:07.849 --> 00:45:13.130
this Virginia Johnson. And I had to do an audition,
1138
00:45:13.190 --> 00:45:16.460
but the audition just in itself was amazing because they
1139
00:45:16.500 --> 00:45:19.460
did like full hair and makeup. It was John Madden,
1140
00:45:19.480 --> 00:45:22.760
the director, who's like an incredible director, like such a talent.
1141
00:45:23.139 --> 00:45:26.070
And I did all the scenes. It was just the
1142
00:45:26.110 --> 00:45:28.250
two of us in this room. We videotaped it. And
1143
00:45:28.980 --> 00:45:29.780
Not all the scenes.
1144
00:45:32.400 --> 00:45:34.800
Wait a minute. Yeah, this older white man.
1145
00:45:35.969 --> 00:45:42.989
Where's the camera? Trust me, there's a camera. Well, I'm sorry.
1146
00:45:43.070 --> 00:45:46.869
I realize now that that's what it sounded like. And
1147
00:45:46.889 --> 00:45:49.590
then it was over, and I remember leaving and feeling like,
1148
00:45:49.650 --> 00:45:52.070
even if I don't get this... role this that was
1149
00:45:52.150 --> 00:45:55.570
so incredible like I don't get to do auditions like
1150
00:45:55.610 --> 00:45:57.949
this for these dramatic roles and I had I didn't
1151
00:45:57.989 --> 00:46:00.510
think I could do any of this I didn't think
1152
00:46:00.570 --> 00:46:02.690
I could like pull this off in any way and
1153
00:46:02.710 --> 00:46:06.170
then they called me and said that they wanted me
1154
00:46:06.250 --> 00:46:07.809
to do it and I was like can I go
1155
00:46:07.869 --> 00:46:11.090
celebrate I haven't wanted to celebrate in a while anything
1156
00:46:11.110 --> 00:46:16.119
and anything. And they were like, just hold off a minute.
1157
00:46:16.179 --> 00:46:18.139
And then that minute took like months and months and
1158
00:46:18.159 --> 00:46:20.139
months for me to actually get the part. And my
1159
00:46:20.260 --> 00:46:22.159
agents were like, you need to take this other job.
1160
00:46:22.219 --> 00:46:24.099
You need to do this other thing. And for whatever reason,
1161
00:46:24.119 --> 00:46:26.960
I was like, no, I have to just, the possibility
1162
00:46:27.039 --> 00:46:30.960
of getting to do this is better than anything else.
1163
00:46:31.019 --> 00:46:33.070
It's more of a, you know, real job.
1164
00:46:33.340 --> 00:46:33.570
Right.
1165
00:46:33.889 --> 00:46:36.070
Which I don't know if I'd have the balls to
1166
00:46:36.130 --> 00:46:40.400
do that now, but I knew that if I got
1167
00:46:40.619 --> 00:46:42.699
to do that, it would really change things for me.
1168
00:46:42.900 --> 00:46:45.880
And it did. I now can do both of those things.
1169
00:46:45.920 --> 00:46:49.250
And I have so many comedic actress friends who are
1170
00:46:49.650 --> 00:46:54.309
more than capable of doing amazing, heavy-hitting, dramatic roles. They
1171
00:46:54.349 --> 00:46:55.849
just don't get the shot at it.
1172
00:46:56.090 --> 00:46:56.329
Right.
1173
00:46:56.710 --> 00:46:59.750
So that's just luck. I don't know how that happened.
1174
00:46:59.969 --> 00:47:01.269
Well, now I want to find out why they were
1175
00:47:01.409 --> 00:47:02.900
waiting so long. Yeah. Yeah.
1176
00:47:03.039 --> 00:47:03.679
I mean, I did.
1177
00:47:03.780 --> 00:47:04.070
I know why.
1178
00:47:04.719 --> 00:47:05.030
I know why.
1179
00:47:06.570 --> 00:47:07.949
But you probably have to cut it out.
1180
00:47:08.030 --> 00:47:08.840
Well, up to you.
1181
00:47:09.050 --> 00:47:11.239
Maybe you could, you know, disguise it in some way.
1182
00:47:11.300 --> 00:47:12.519
Was there someone else in the mix?
1183
00:47:12.559 --> 00:47:17.559
There was a co-star who was not thrilled with the
1184
00:47:17.639 --> 00:47:19.280
idea of me doing it.
1185
00:47:19.400 --> 00:47:20.179
Oh, come on.
1186
00:47:20.320 --> 00:47:20.579
Yes.
1187
00:47:21.079 --> 00:47:23.940
Who was not Michael Sheen. It wasn't who ended up
1188
00:47:24.039 --> 00:47:24.639
being the guy.
1189
00:47:24.659 --> 00:47:25.119
Yeah.
1190
00:47:25.179 --> 00:47:26.980
And I don't know any of the details of that
1191
00:47:27.179 --> 00:47:28.960
at all. I just know that there was a lot
1192
00:47:29.000 --> 00:47:29.539
of pushback.
1193
00:47:29.679 --> 00:47:30.159
Oh, God.
1194
00:47:30.219 --> 00:47:31.159
Do you want me to cut that out?
1195
00:47:31.320 --> 00:47:32.739
Well, I don't know if anybody knows.
1196
00:47:33.579 --> 00:47:34.000
No. No.
1197
00:47:34.039 --> 00:47:36.860
And I say we keep it in. And also, when
1198
00:47:36.889 --> 00:47:38.949
I told you before the podcast that we would take
1199
00:47:39.010 --> 00:47:39.530
stuff out.
1200
00:47:39.590 --> 00:47:40.429
Yeah, you were lying.
1201
00:47:40.670 --> 00:47:41.110
I was lying.
1202
00:47:41.130 --> 00:47:41.329
Cool.
1203
00:47:41.449 --> 00:47:41.849
Yeah.
1204
00:47:41.869 --> 00:47:43.030
Sometimes we add stuff in.
1205
00:47:43.210 --> 00:47:43.329
Yeah.
1206
00:47:43.349 --> 00:47:46.849
Just be careful.
1207
00:47:46.929 --> 00:47:48.530
There's going to be a voice that doesn't sound anything
1208
00:47:48.550 --> 00:47:49.190
like yours.
1209
00:47:49.269 --> 00:47:53.639
It says, it was Michael Sheen. Hey, we're blowing up
1210
00:47:53.739 --> 00:47:56.239
on the internet. Yeah, but it's not true. It wasn't
1211
00:47:56.260 --> 00:47:56.780
Michael Sheen.
1212
00:47:56.920 --> 00:47:57.199
I know.
1213
00:47:57.579 --> 00:47:59.059
But fuck it, we're blowing up.
1214
00:47:59.099 --> 00:48:02.079
Yeah, I don't think the Michael Sheen and Lizzie Kaplan
1215
00:48:02.099 --> 00:48:04.579
gossip is going to blow up the internet.
1216
00:48:04.639 --> 00:48:10.429
No, you don't understand. I mean, yeah.
1217
00:48:10.469 --> 00:48:12.849
It was a weird thing and a weird story, but
1218
00:48:12.909 --> 00:48:14.769
it ended up working out. And it ended up working
1219
00:48:14.829 --> 00:48:16.809
out wonderfully because it was Michael Sheen.
1220
00:48:16.829 --> 00:48:17.590
Yeah, yeah.
1221
00:48:18.110 --> 00:48:21.590
I think that such a big part, I think, of
1222
00:48:21.690 --> 00:48:24.510
a career... And it's something that people don't think about
1223
00:48:24.550 --> 00:48:27.750
that much, but it's the arc of a career. I remember,
1224
00:48:27.809 --> 00:48:30.769
I don't know why when I was unemployed and in
1225
00:48:30.809 --> 00:48:33.530
my early twenties, we, my, my writing partner and I
1226
00:48:33.570 --> 00:48:36.159
got a job right away and then it went away
1227
00:48:36.239 --> 00:48:39.019
after like a year or two and we didn't have work.
1228
00:48:39.059 --> 00:48:41.860
And I was sitting in a DuPars coffee shop at
1229
00:48:41.900 --> 00:48:45.630
like 1130 in the morning. And trying to make my
1230
00:48:45.690 --> 00:48:47.590
breakfast last as long as possible because I had nowhere
1231
00:48:47.630 --> 00:48:47.989
to go.
1232
00:48:48.010 --> 00:48:48.079
Yep.
1233
00:48:48.989 --> 00:48:52.869
And I'm petrified because cars are just whizzing by and
1234
00:48:52.889 --> 00:48:53.730
all I'm thinking about is.
1235
00:48:54.090 --> 00:48:55.360
That is a very familiar feeling.
1236
00:48:55.530 --> 00:48:57.960
Everybody else has a place to be and I don't.
1237
00:48:58.239 --> 00:49:00.860
And did this not work? And what if this doesn't work?
1238
00:49:01.320 --> 00:49:03.480
The thing that occurred to me, I don't care what
1239
00:49:03.519 --> 00:49:05.280
happens to me. I just want it to be interesting.
1240
00:49:05.750 --> 00:49:07.829
And I practically said it out loud to the point
1241
00:49:07.869 --> 00:49:08.989
where the waitress was like.
1242
00:49:09.230 --> 00:49:09.590
What do you want?
1243
00:49:09.780 --> 00:49:10.719
Did you want hash browns?
1244
00:49:10.800 --> 00:49:11.000
No.
1245
00:49:11.400 --> 00:49:12.920
I said, whatever happens to me, I want it to
1246
00:49:12.960 --> 00:49:13.579
be interesting.
1247
00:49:13.760 --> 00:49:15.639
You want some interesting hash browns?
1248
00:49:15.679 --> 00:49:18.349
You're not listening to me. Wait a minute. Tell me
1249
00:49:18.389 --> 00:49:23.320
more of these interesting hash browns. But you came on
1250
00:49:23.380 --> 00:49:27.820
my late night shows like five times or six times.
1251
00:49:27.860 --> 00:49:30.460
You were on a number of times. And I always
1252
00:49:30.739 --> 00:49:33.420
loved talking to you. But we never could have done
1253
00:49:33.440 --> 00:49:34.920
this in that world.
1254
00:49:35.340 --> 00:49:35.619
Never.
1255
00:49:35.719 --> 00:49:38.260
And this is more meaningful to me.
1256
00:49:38.420 --> 00:49:39.469
Oh, totally. It's it.
1257
00:49:39.929 --> 00:49:44.360
Impossible to, I mean, those like the nightly talk shows
1258
00:49:44.420 --> 00:49:47.489
are terrifying because you do, I mean, terrifying for me.
1259
00:49:47.570 --> 00:49:53.769
I really go through quite gastrointestinal Olympics beforehand.
1260
00:49:54.329 --> 00:49:55.730
Let's talk more about that.
1261
00:49:55.769 --> 00:49:57.889
Yeah, so what happens is.
1262
00:49:58.710 --> 00:50:00.409
The small intestine meets.
1263
00:50:00.880 --> 00:50:01.019
Well.
1264
00:50:01.050 --> 00:50:01.449
You'll see.
1265
00:50:01.570 --> 00:50:02.639
Do you want me to edit that out?
1266
00:50:02.860 --> 00:50:03.199
No, no, no.
1267
00:50:03.239 --> 00:50:09.559
I want you to do that add-on. In the demon voice? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah,
1268
00:50:09.599 --> 00:50:13.300
this is way... In many ways, I am minutes away
1269
00:50:13.380 --> 00:50:16.440
from being on a porch with a shotgun like get
1270
00:50:16.550 --> 00:50:18.809
off my like i am a get off my lawn
1271
00:50:18.929 --> 00:50:22.429
old person i'm like six months away from that and
1272
00:50:22.469 --> 00:50:25.789
i think most of the internet stuff is horrible and
1273
00:50:25.829 --> 00:50:27.570
i hate it and i keep waiting for everybody to
1274
00:50:27.590 --> 00:50:29.630
realize it was a bad idea we should go back
1275
00:50:29.650 --> 00:50:32.820
to how things were before yeah but podcasts are like
1276
00:50:33.079 --> 00:50:36.039
one of the only exceptions right because this is better
1277
00:50:36.059 --> 00:50:39.079
like why wouldn't you want to actually talk to a human.
1278
00:50:39.340 --> 00:50:42.940
Yeah and um do it in a way getting to
1279
00:50:43.099 --> 00:50:46.570
the time that My wife and I and you and Tom,
1280
00:50:46.590 --> 00:50:48.590
we got to hang out together and have dinner recently
1281
00:50:48.750 --> 00:50:50.610
with our good friend, Amy Lipman.
1282
00:50:50.909 --> 00:50:51.639
Robin Flender.
1283
00:50:52.239 --> 00:50:53.440
Shout out to them.
1284
00:50:53.460 --> 00:50:54.679
The best.
1285
00:50:54.760 --> 00:50:57.699
Because if my friend Amy Lipman finds out that I
1286
00:50:57.719 --> 00:51:02.510
had a podcast with you. I know. And you and
1287
00:51:02.590 --> 00:51:04.469
her name did not come up. Amy Lipman.
1288
00:51:04.809 --> 00:51:05.190
Amy Lipman.
1289
00:51:05.679 --> 00:51:07.300
I feel like we should talk about Amy Lipman.
1290
00:51:07.400 --> 00:51:08.659
She's great. She's a genius.
1291
00:51:08.940 --> 00:51:14.460
And she was one of the main creative forces behind
1292
00:51:14.480 --> 00:51:15.179
Masters of Sex.
1293
00:51:15.199 --> 00:51:19.369
Yes, that's where I met her. She wrote the episode
1294
00:51:19.409 --> 00:51:22.110
that I'm the most proud of, Masters of Sex. It's
1295
00:51:22.269 --> 00:51:23.769
an episode called The Fight.
1296
00:51:24.250 --> 00:51:25.110
Oh, I know this one.
1297
00:51:25.170 --> 00:51:27.809
Yes, she's next level, Amy Lipman.
1298
00:51:27.909 --> 00:51:31.670
Yeah, I've known her since my.
1299
00:51:33.409 --> 00:51:35.090
Sophomore year of college.
1300
00:51:35.110 --> 00:51:35.610
That's crazy.
1301
00:51:35.909 --> 00:51:39.530
And she'll maybe get mad at me for telling this story,
1302
00:51:39.590 --> 00:51:42.750
but I ran the Lampoon when I was there, the
1303
00:51:42.789 --> 00:51:45.230
comedy magazine, and we were in this building and we
1304
00:51:45.269 --> 00:51:48.769
would have these crazy parties every couple of weeks. And
1305
00:51:49.989 --> 00:51:52.639
I did not drink at all the whole time I
1306
00:51:52.679 --> 00:51:56.280
was in college. And I was the only, and it
1307
00:51:56.300 --> 00:52:01.360
was an organization pretty much of borderline alcoholics So why
1308
00:52:01.400 --> 00:52:01.840
didn't you?
1309
00:52:01.900 --> 00:52:03.920
Because you were focused on.
1310
00:52:04.059 --> 00:52:05.940
Yeah, I was really. Well, also, I come from a
1311
00:52:05.980 --> 00:52:11.750
family that that just my there was a ingrained terror
1312
00:52:12.489 --> 00:52:13.190
of alcoholism.
1313
00:52:13.369 --> 00:52:14.070
Right.
1314
00:52:14.150 --> 00:52:18.110
Which is earned in my family and any probably Irish
1315
00:52:18.449 --> 00:52:22.300
Catholic family. And so the way that my people handled
1316
00:52:22.340 --> 00:52:25.559
it going back several generations was no alcohol. Absolutely none.
1317
00:52:25.619 --> 00:52:27.719
So I grew up in a completely dry house, never
1318
00:52:27.760 --> 00:52:30.300
touched anything. And it never even occurred to me in college. Like, well, no,
1319
00:52:30.320 --> 00:52:33.420
I'm not going to do that. So, um, I mean,
1320
00:52:33.500 --> 00:52:35.940
I would, I would be in charge of this place
1321
00:52:36.219 --> 00:52:41.829
where people are drinking massive amounts of beer, wine, anything
1322
00:52:41.869 --> 00:52:46.130
you can imagine spirits. And then, uh, there's a nitrous
1323
00:52:46.150 --> 00:52:48.710
tank somewhere and I'm supposed to be in charge.
1324
00:52:49.590 --> 00:52:51.230
But I'm... Nitrous.
1325
00:52:51.409 --> 00:52:52.110
Yeah, I know.
1326
00:52:52.130 --> 00:52:52.829
It was ridiculous.
1327
00:52:53.550 --> 00:52:55.050
Oh, those were the days.
1328
00:52:55.210 --> 00:52:57.340
I was like, is someone going to do some welding?
1329
00:52:58.300 --> 00:52:59.139
No, you idiot.
1330
00:52:59.679 --> 00:53:01.960
We're going to suck on this until we almost die.
1331
00:53:02.860 --> 00:53:03.320
Oh, no.
1332
00:53:03.360 --> 00:53:04.820
But anyway, we'd have these parties.
1333
00:53:05.400 --> 00:53:08.400
It was hilarious because right across the street in Adam's
1334
00:53:08.440 --> 00:53:11.469
house on the first floor in a window was a
1335
00:53:11.510 --> 00:53:13.909
friend of mine who was there who would always call
1336
00:53:14.230 --> 00:53:16.530
the cops because it was too loud because she was
1337
00:53:16.610 --> 00:53:17.630
working on her writing.
1338
00:53:17.650 --> 00:53:17.710
Oh.
1339
00:53:18.409 --> 00:53:20.010
And so it was Amy.
1340
00:53:20.050 --> 00:53:20.690
No, Amy?
1341
00:53:20.909 --> 00:53:24.730
Yes, it was Amy. She would call the cops. No, no, listen,
1342
00:53:24.849 --> 00:53:27.139
to be fair, it wasn't the Cambridge cops. It was
1343
00:53:27.159 --> 00:53:29.119
the Harvard police, which is, you know, and so they
1344
00:53:29.139 --> 00:53:31.579
would just come by and they knew me. So like
1345
00:53:31.619 --> 00:53:34.300
ding dong and people would be like, you know, whatever it,
1346
00:53:34.780 --> 00:53:45.070
Soft Cell would be playing upstairs, you know. And I
1347
00:53:45.090 --> 00:53:48.349
would go downstairs and open the door. And they'd be like, hey, Cone.
1348
00:53:48.389 --> 00:53:50.349
I'd be like, hey guys, too loud, huh? And he went, yeah,
1349
00:53:50.389 --> 00:53:52.829
we got a call. All right, well, fellas, I'm really sorry.
1350
00:53:52.849 --> 00:53:54.900
I'll make sure we turn it down. And then I
1351
00:53:54.909 --> 00:53:57.539
would cross the street and Amy would be there at
1352
00:53:57.579 --> 00:53:59.420
her window. And it was so nice because it was
1353
00:53:59.579 --> 00:54:02.250
nothing antagonistic about it at all. She'd be at her
1354
00:54:02.269 --> 00:54:05.880
typewriter working away, brilliant writer, even then. And I would
1355
00:54:05.920 --> 00:54:09.159
walk up and because her window was practically at face level,
1356
00:54:09.179 --> 00:54:11.190
I would just walk up to the window and go like, hey, Amy.
1357
00:54:11.650 --> 00:54:13.150
And she'd be like, hey, Conan. And I'd be like,
1358
00:54:13.469 --> 00:54:15.349
too loud, huh? And she went, yeah, yeah, had to call.
1359
00:54:15.590 --> 00:54:17.789
That's all right. Hey, what you working on? We would
1360
00:54:17.809 --> 00:54:19.190
just sit there and chat.
1361
00:54:19.829 --> 00:54:21.230
Why didn't she call you?
1362
00:54:21.369 --> 00:54:24.269
Why didn't she just come over and say, Conan? Because
1363
00:54:24.289 --> 00:54:25.179
she's not going to.
1364
00:54:25.340 --> 00:54:26.050
She's working.
1365
00:54:26.679 --> 00:54:28.639
First of all, I'm actually on her side on this one.
1366
00:54:28.719 --> 00:54:32.559
I know you clearly are. I am not on the
1367
00:54:32.599 --> 00:54:36.440
nerd side at all. Yeah, give her a wedgie.
1368
00:54:36.719 --> 00:54:37.639
No.
1369
00:54:37.760 --> 00:54:38.820
She is.
1370
00:54:39.719 --> 00:54:41.769
There's no cell phones back then. And there's no, like,
1371
00:54:41.889 --> 00:54:44.889
calling the castle. That would be like, you know, calling
1372
00:54:44.929 --> 00:54:47.280
the Playboy Mansion during an orgy, you know? No one's
1373
00:54:47.300 --> 00:54:51.989
going to pick up the phone. Hey, Telly Savalas, put
1374
00:54:52.010 --> 00:54:53.409
your pants on and go get the phone.
1375
00:54:53.750 --> 00:54:54.809
You got it, baby.
1376
00:54:54.829 --> 00:54:55.760
You got it, baby.
1377
00:54:55.929 --> 00:54:59.239
Hey, Adrienne Barbeau, put on a bra and go get
1378
00:54:59.280 --> 00:54:59.880
that phone.
1379
00:55:00.460 --> 00:55:01.260
Not one big enough.
1380
00:55:03.639 --> 00:55:06.550
I've tried 30 bras and they're all too small. I'm
1381
00:55:06.590 --> 00:55:08.829
not getting that phone. So, yeah, I'm on her side
1382
00:55:08.869 --> 00:55:10.349
with this one. But anyway, we just.
1383
00:55:11.150 --> 00:55:12.369
That's crazy.
1384
00:55:12.570 --> 00:55:14.269
It's a really funny story, but it was a little
1385
00:55:14.309 --> 00:55:17.239
bit like there's that old cartoon... that old Warner Brothers
1386
00:55:17.280 --> 00:55:19.630
cartoon of the sheepdog and the coyote who are- Oh yeah,
1387
00:55:19.690 --> 00:55:21.949
Ralph and Sam. Ralph and Sam and their arch enemies,
1388
00:55:21.989 --> 00:55:24.190
but then the whistle blows. They're each trying to kill
1389
00:55:24.230 --> 00:55:26.840
each other and then there's a whistle blows and they're like,
1390
00:55:27.190 --> 00:55:28.989
That's it for the day. And they both check out.
1391
00:55:29.030 --> 00:55:31.920
And that was Amy and I in college.
1392
00:55:32.079 --> 00:55:34.639
I mean, the other people who were having fun at
1393
00:55:34.980 --> 00:55:35.639
the party.
1394
00:55:35.719 --> 00:55:37.840
No, we were going to get shut down anyway. Someone
1395
00:55:37.880 --> 00:55:39.880
was going to call. It just always happened to be Amy.
1396
00:55:42.449 --> 00:55:43.070
Wow.
1397
00:55:43.170 --> 00:55:45.550
This never ends with a lifelong friendship.
1398
00:55:45.590 --> 00:55:47.630
Get away and I've got to.
1399
00:55:49.260 --> 00:55:51.500
That was probably the volume level, too. She's like, turn
1400
00:55:51.579 --> 00:55:53.019
it down. I can almost hear it.
1401
00:55:53.039 --> 00:55:55.300
Did a part of you want the party to end, too?
1402
00:55:55.320 --> 00:55:58.679
It kind of feels like you were hoping someone would
1403
00:55:58.699 --> 00:55:59.099
call so.
1404
00:55:59.079 --> 00:56:00.940
That you can get back to work.
1405
00:56:01.099 --> 00:56:01.380
You know what?
1406
00:56:01.400 --> 00:56:02.280
There's a good chance.
1407
00:56:02.300 --> 00:56:04.769
There's a good chance it'll later come out that I
1408
00:56:04.809 --> 00:56:07.110
called Amy. The call was coming from inside.
1409
00:56:07.130 --> 00:56:09.050
Can you please call the Harvard cops?
1410
00:56:09.909 --> 00:56:12.710
Can you please call the Harvard cops? If I hear
1411
00:56:12.730 --> 00:56:15.829
soft sell one more time, I'm going to kill myself.
1412
00:56:15.849 --> 00:56:16.820
I'm trying to work.
1413
00:56:17.110 --> 00:56:18.849
It doesn't bother me i can't hear.
1414
00:56:18.679 --> 00:56:20.599
It you can dance if you want to you can
1415
00:56:20.619 --> 00:56:24.059
leave your friends behind because your friends can't dance and
1416
00:56:24.099 --> 00:56:28.940
if i swear to god god that music it's really
1417
00:56:28.980 --> 00:56:31.760
hard to be romantic about that music now if there's
1418
00:56:31.780 --> 00:56:34.880
ever the conan o'brien story and they show a scene
1419
00:56:34.920 --> 00:56:37.480
of it oh my god i'll be played by eddie
1420
00:56:37.539 --> 00:56:43.630
redmayne And it's like me, 1983, the castle, the Harvard
1421
00:56:43.650 --> 00:56:47.530
Lampoon Castle in Cambridge. Bum, bum, get away, and I've
1422
00:56:47.590 --> 00:56:48.190
got to.
1423
00:56:48.210 --> 00:56:49.750
I'd watch it.
1424
00:56:49.829 --> 00:56:50.349
I'd watch it.
1425
00:56:50.550 --> 00:56:51.349
I would, too.
1426
00:56:51.550 --> 00:56:53.570
The lowest grossing movie of all time.
1427
00:56:53.860 --> 00:56:54.280
I don't know.
1428
00:56:54.320 --> 00:56:55.360
You're selling yourself short.
1429
00:56:55.400 --> 00:56:59.260
You did cast Eddie Redmayne as an 18-year-old boy. That
1430
00:56:59.300 --> 00:57:00.579
was your first problem.
1431
00:57:00.599 --> 00:57:01.699
That guy could do it all.
1432
00:57:01.760 --> 00:57:02.619
He could do it.
1433
00:57:02.800 --> 00:57:03.340
He could do it.
1434
00:57:03.380 --> 00:57:08.429
If anybody can do it. Red mane. Also, usually the
1435
00:57:09.139 --> 00:57:13.889
person who doesn't experiment at all in high school, you,
1436
00:57:13.969 --> 00:57:16.489
in this story, goes crazy in college.
1437
00:57:17.429 --> 00:57:17.909
I did not.
1438
00:57:18.110 --> 00:57:18.969
You kept it tight.
1439
00:57:19.090 --> 00:57:21.550
Some would say I waited until I met you.
1440
00:57:21.590 --> 00:57:21.789
Yes.
1441
00:57:23.380 --> 00:57:25.199
And the minute I met you, I was like, okay,
1442
00:57:25.219 --> 00:57:28.809
I'm going to have nine Guinness in this real pub.
1443
00:57:30.110 --> 00:57:31.989
Ye olde. It was ye olde.
1444
00:57:32.010 --> 00:57:33.230
Do you remember the name of the pub?
1445
00:57:33.250 --> 00:57:34.550
The something and the something.
1446
00:57:34.570 --> 00:57:34.769
You know.
1447
00:57:34.909 --> 00:57:36.250
It's always the Cribble and the Jabble.
1448
00:57:36.269 --> 00:57:40.929
Yeah, the Sly's and a t-shirt. I did have a
1449
00:57:41.250 --> 00:57:45.630
best friend when I was 19 and all my friends
1450
00:57:46.179 --> 00:57:48.739
left for college and I was in LA by myself.
1451
00:57:49.010 --> 00:57:51.650
And it was a horrible, horrible dark time. But I
1452
00:57:51.690 --> 00:57:54.309
did this pilot that didn't get picked up. And one
1453
00:57:54.329 --> 00:57:57.699
of the writers, showrunners of the pilot, my friend Mark,
1454
00:57:57.949 --> 00:58:00.619
he was 30 and I was 19. And we became
1455
00:58:00.900 --> 00:58:04.340
best friends. And all my 19-year-old friends were like, what?
1456
00:58:04.980 --> 00:58:07.920
Why do you have a 30-year-old guy friend? And his
1457
00:58:07.960 --> 00:58:09.400
friends were like, why are you hanging out with a
1458
00:58:09.739 --> 00:58:12.369
young girl? But it wasn't, there was nothing. We were
1459
00:58:12.389 --> 00:58:15.789
just buddies. We were really close buddies. But I made
1460
00:58:15.829 --> 00:58:19.219
him take his first shot of alcohol. Smoked his first cigarette.
1461
00:58:19.300 --> 00:58:21.570
Every one of his firsts, I did with him.
1462
00:58:21.909 --> 00:58:22.280
Oh, wow.
1463
00:58:22.300 --> 00:58:23.389
So it's sort of the same with you.
1464
00:58:23.949 --> 00:58:24.280
Oh, wow.
1465
00:58:24.300 --> 00:58:25.030
That is insane.
1466
00:58:25.070 --> 00:58:26.690
I like to bring out the wild man in my
1467
00:58:27.070 --> 00:58:28.829
elderly male friends.
1468
00:58:30.090 --> 00:58:30.710
Not elderly.
1469
00:58:30.789 --> 00:58:32.010
Didn't mean elderly.
1470
00:58:32.070 --> 00:58:33.590
You're elderly.
1471
00:58:33.789 --> 00:58:37.949
I'm referring to a 30-year-old as elderly.
1472
00:58:37.949 --> 00:58:41.090
2025, here it comes.
1473
00:58:42.690 --> 00:58:45.159
This was one of my favorites. talks on a long
1474
00:58:45.219 --> 00:58:48.519
time and now i'm just in a pit of despair well.
1475
00:58:48.360 --> 00:58:50.510
It's about time for your nap i didn't mean it.
1476
00:58:52.590 --> 00:58:53.889
I just fell asleep.
1477
00:58:56.090 --> 00:58:58.590
Um this uh this has been a real treat for
1478
00:58:58.630 --> 00:59:03.610
me lizzie uh seriously uh i adore you and i'm
1479
00:59:04.250 --> 00:59:06.150
so happy that you could come in and talk to
1480
00:59:06.190 --> 00:59:10.059
us and i just want to make sure that people
1481
00:59:10.079 --> 00:59:13.800
also check out Fleischman because it's really good.
1482
00:59:14.119 --> 00:59:17.980
Thank you. And I never say, like, something is really good,
1483
00:59:18.480 --> 00:59:20.519
and I think it's really good. It will make you cry.
1484
00:59:20.820 --> 00:59:23.739
Lizzie, you broke our— you destroyed what was, I think, a
1485
00:59:23.780 --> 00:59:24.530
good podcast.
1486
00:59:25.340 --> 00:59:25.769
Sorry.
1487
00:59:25.869 --> 00:59:26.530
With that image.
1488
00:59:26.550 --> 00:59:27.090
Sorry.
1489
00:59:28.980 --> 00:59:32.590
Thank you so much for being here, and I hope
1490
00:59:32.610 --> 00:59:33.469
we get to do this again.
1491
00:59:33.489 --> 00:59:35.250
I hope so, too, because I don't think I actually
1492
00:59:35.329 --> 00:59:37.050
answered a single one of your questions.
1493
00:59:37.070 --> 00:59:38.469
I don't think we... I think this was it.
1494
00:59:38.690 --> 00:59:39.610
I don't think you asked any.
1495
00:59:39.769 --> 00:59:41.570
I don't... Yeah, I don't... Oh, is this a conversation?
1496
00:59:41.840 --> 00:59:42.079
Yeah.
1497
00:59:42.300 --> 00:59:43.179
This is a nice talk.
1498
00:59:43.199 --> 00:59:43.969
I don't think it's on you.
1499
00:59:43.980 --> 00:59:46.019
I mean, I have a whole bunch of questions here,
1500
00:59:46.079 --> 00:59:47.880
but it's all about your finances.
1501
00:59:47.900 --> 00:59:48.260
Oh, yeah.
1502
00:59:48.670 --> 00:59:50.130
Yeah, I'd love to talk about my finances.
1503
00:59:50.269 --> 00:59:52.570
Okay, because I see a real discrepancy in your income
1504
00:59:52.590 --> 00:59:54.650
tax return from two years ago. I know.
1505
00:59:54.670 --> 00:59:57.239
You do a full background vetting before any guests can
1506
00:59:57.260 --> 00:59:59.659
come in. You're solvent, but we're worried.
1507
00:59:59.860 --> 01:00:01.780
That's a whole other podcast they do want to do
1508
01:00:02.159 --> 01:00:03.460
with certain kinds of celebrities.
1509
01:00:03.500 --> 01:00:05.199
We are not sure how they pay the rent. And
1510
01:00:06.239 --> 01:00:08.500
I want to break, I want to say like, no, no, seriously,
1511
01:00:08.539 --> 01:00:10.679
tell me. So wait a minute, because you haven't made
1512
01:00:10.699 --> 01:00:13.619
a movie in like seven years. But wait a minute,
1513
01:00:13.679 --> 01:00:15.639
so how? And then they'll be telling me, no, no, no,
1514
01:00:15.699 --> 01:00:17.780
I get this much from Cameo. And then I do this,
1515
01:00:17.840 --> 01:00:20.289
and then I... And I'll say, yeah, but OK, but
1516
01:00:20.309 --> 01:00:22.429
you just pulled up in this car. I know, but
1517
01:00:22.469 --> 01:00:24.989
it's a lease and I'm not going to really pay it.
1518
01:00:25.300 --> 01:00:27.099
It's a good idea. And also they just have to
1519
01:00:27.139 --> 01:00:29.659
go on that celebrity net worth thing that says everybody's
1520
01:00:29.699 --> 01:00:31.400
worth like a hundred million dollars.
1521
01:00:31.599 --> 01:00:32.199
That's crazy.
1522
01:00:32.440 --> 01:00:32.599
Yeah.
1523
01:00:32.619 --> 01:00:32.760
Yeah.
1524
01:00:32.900 --> 01:00:34.980
No, it's it's anyone who's worked for more than three
1525
01:00:35.000 --> 01:00:35.719
years in a row.
1526
01:00:35.900 --> 01:00:36.480
Hundred million.
1527
01:00:36.539 --> 01:00:37.099
Hundred million.
1528
01:00:37.280 --> 01:00:37.500
Yeah.
1529
01:00:37.739 --> 01:00:37.989
Yeah.
1530
01:00:38.139 --> 01:00:40.349
And then other people just cite it like, you know.
1531
01:00:40.369 --> 01:00:40.489
Yeah.
1532
01:00:41.690 --> 01:00:43.670
But I think that's probably the answer to your question
1533
01:00:43.710 --> 01:00:45.289
of how these people who haven't worked, who haven't made
1534
01:00:45.329 --> 01:00:46.730
a movie in seven years, they just say, look at
1535
01:00:46.769 --> 01:00:49.210
celebrity net worth. I have $ 100 million.
1536
01:00:51.409 --> 01:00:53.809
Celebrity net worth is never wrong. And what if the
1537
01:00:53.909 --> 01:00:57.030
IRS could use that? That'd be really funny. Well, according
1538
01:00:57.050 --> 01:01:00.860
to celebrity net worth, you owe us $ 25 million.
1539
01:01:00.880 --> 01:01:03.059
I'm sure it's used in like divorce proceedings.
1540
01:01:03.400 --> 01:01:03.820
Oh, yeah.
1541
01:01:04.019 --> 01:01:04.440
You would think.
1542
01:01:04.500 --> 01:01:05.719
You should be able to use it to get a loan.
1543
01:01:06.010 --> 01:01:06.349
For sure.
1544
01:01:06.409 --> 01:01:06.639
Yeah. Oh.
1545
01:01:06.650 --> 01:01:07.730
For collateral.
1546
01:01:07.809 --> 01:01:08.130
Yes.
1547
01:01:08.530 --> 01:01:09.909
I'm going to do that today.
1548
01:01:09.929 --> 01:01:10.849
A lot of good ideas.
1549
01:01:11.329 --> 01:01:11.610
See?
1550
01:01:11.670 --> 01:01:12.250
Coming out of this.
1551
01:01:12.489 --> 01:01:12.690
See?
1552
01:01:12.710 --> 01:01:13.309
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
1553
01:01:13.530 --> 01:01:15.750
And you thought this was going to be awful.
1554
01:01:15.789 --> 01:01:17.309
I thought it was going to be the worst day
1555
01:01:17.349 --> 01:01:20.829
of my life. Turns out.
1556
01:01:21.010 --> 01:01:22.389
Lizzie Kaplan, I salute you.
1557
01:01:22.670 --> 01:01:23.110
Thanks, pal.
1558
01:01:23.130 --> 01:01:23.449
Go forth.
1559
01:01:23.510 --> 01:01:26.949
Continue to do well. And let's grab a Guinness soon.
1560
01:01:26.969 --> 01:01:28.690
And when I say a Guinness, you know I mean.
1561
01:01:29.130 --> 01:01:29.409
Six.
1562
01:01:29.449 --> 01:01:29.849
Good night.
1563
01:01:35.230 --> 01:01:37.309
Not every day you meet an Irish legend.
1564
01:01:37.489 --> 01:01:38.829
I know what you mean, Cú Chulainn.
1565
01:01:39.030 --> 01:01:42.130
Leaping vast distances, holding off armies.
1566
01:01:42.269 --> 01:01:44.389
Eating tonnes of fresh grass.
1567
01:01:44.550 --> 01:01:44.889
What?
1568
01:01:44.989 --> 01:01:46.269
Not you or cows.
1569
01:01:46.550 --> 01:01:49.409
That's one of the reasons Irish milk is so good.
1570
01:01:49.650 --> 01:01:51.769
It's famous all over the world.
1571
01:01:52.050 --> 01:01:53.710
Legendary.
1572
01:01:54.130 --> 01:01:57.210
Ireland's grass and our farmers' commitment to more sustainable actions
1573
01:01:57.489 --> 01:02:00.280
help make Irish dairy a true Irish legend.
1574
01:02:00.550 --> 01:02:02.889
Always look for the National Dairy Council guarantee.
1575
01:02:03.059 --> 01:02:04.400
Learn more at ndc.ie.
1576
01:02:06.909 --> 01:02:09.469
Due to the leaves falling in autumn and the challenges
1577
01:02:09.530 --> 01:02:12.769
this brings, Eireann Road Airan wishes to advise customers that
1578
01:02:12.809 --> 01:02:15.809
a revised timetable will take effect on Dart and Dublin
1579
01:02:15.849 --> 01:02:20.789
commuter routes from Monday, September 21st until December 12th. Morning
1580
01:02:20.849 --> 01:02:23.829
and evening peak services will be affected with some earlier
1581
01:02:23.869 --> 01:02:26.909
departure times. Please check travel times on the Eireann Road
1582
01:02:27.010 --> 01:02:31.090
Airan app or irishrail.ie. Eireann Road Airan is part of
1583
01:02:31.130 --> 01:02:32.530
the Transport for Ireland network.
1584
01:02:35.420 --> 01:02:37.219
Did you always want to become a teacher?
1585
01:02:37.460 --> 01:02:38.579
For as long as I can remember.
1586
01:02:38.599 --> 01:02:43.460
Danny! Shut up!
1587
01:02:43.500 --> 01:02:44.900
You pushed a girl down the stairs.
1588
01:02:44.920 --> 01:02:47.760
I'm going to tell everyone you attacked me. Let me go!
1589
01:02:48.139 --> 01:02:49.809
I hate you!
1590
01:02:49.849 --> 01:02:53.110
Investigations continue into the disappearance of Danny Carter.
1591
01:02:53.150 --> 01:02:54.230
You're never letting me go, are you?
1592
01:02:54.250 --> 01:02:54.989
Is anyone feeling sad.
1593
01:02:54.889 --> 01:02:55.219
Or anxious now?
1594
01:02:55.230 --> 01:02:55.289
No.
1595
01:03:01.809 --> 01:03:02.670
All right.
1596
01:03:02.730 --> 01:03:04.349
I don't like to do this. I don't like to
1597
01:03:04.389 --> 01:03:06.329
out somebody on the team for poor performance.
1598
01:03:06.449 --> 01:03:07.449
It's not my style.
1599
01:03:07.530 --> 01:03:08.869
I don't put down.
1600
01:03:08.989 --> 01:03:09.909
I build up.
1601
01:03:21.949 --> 01:03:22.969
All you do is put down.
1602
01:03:22.989 --> 01:03:23.429
Absolute lie.
1603
01:03:23.570 --> 01:03:24.949
It's my entire time.
1604
01:03:24.789 --> 01:03:26.210
Working for you has been that.
1605
01:03:26.250 --> 01:03:26.570
You know what?
1606
01:03:26.610 --> 01:03:27.710
I was thinking of the Obamas.
1607
01:03:28.510 --> 01:03:29.809
You thought you were the Obamas?
1608
01:03:29.829 --> 01:03:32.099
Yeah, and then I remembered, no, I'm talking about me.
1609
01:03:32.360 --> 01:03:35.079
Your slogan is, when they go high, you go low.
1610
01:03:35.320 --> 01:03:35.519
Yeah.
1611
01:03:35.599 --> 01:03:38.719
No, my slogan is, I don't care where they go,
1612
01:03:38.739 --> 01:03:42.030
I go low. And if they go very low, I
1613
01:03:42.269 --> 01:03:43.110
go even lower.
1614
01:03:43.170 --> 01:03:43.590
Yeah.
1615
01:03:43.789 --> 01:03:45.090
I'm low all the time.
1616
01:03:45.159 --> 01:03:47.480
Wherever they go, I hunt them down and kill them.
1617
01:03:47.639 --> 01:03:47.860
Yeah.
1618
01:03:48.519 --> 01:03:51.420
And I attack from underneath because I'm so far below them.
1619
01:03:52.639 --> 01:03:56.559
I'm disappointed because we owe a lot of credit to
1620
01:03:56.579 --> 01:04:01.260
this gentleman, Eduardo, who's done a wonderful job designing this studio.
1621
01:04:01.920 --> 01:04:04.699
He's our engineer. You can hear him on the podcast sometimes,
1622
01:04:04.739 --> 01:04:07.659
and he's always on it. And we were just ready
1623
01:04:07.719 --> 01:04:10.500
to start recording when it was revealed to me, he's
1624
01:04:10.539 --> 01:04:13.699
got several monitors, and I thought he was checking sound levels,
1625
01:04:15.260 --> 01:04:17.309
making sure that the recording is happening perfectly.
1626
01:04:17.349 --> 01:04:20.590
For all we know, he's monitoring the NORAD missile defense system,
1627
01:04:20.670 --> 01:04:21.409
keeping us safe.
1628
01:04:21.429 --> 01:04:26.050
He's got three different screens, if you include his cell phone,
1629
01:04:26.070 --> 01:04:28.239
which is also propped up. We just took a peek.
1630
01:04:29.019 --> 01:04:35.500
He's watching soccer. Two games. He's watching two games simultaneously. Eduardo.
1631
01:04:35.739 --> 01:04:37.699
Did someone just score? You got really excited.
1632
01:04:37.760 --> 01:04:39.679
I didn't listen to a word Conan just said.
1633
01:04:40.090 --> 01:04:43.469
This is the guy monitoring the audio.
1634
01:04:44.570 --> 01:04:47.289
I just know it works because I heard something. But yeah,
1635
01:04:47.329 --> 01:04:48.769
Mexico's playing right now.
1636
01:04:49.130 --> 01:04:49.829
This is your team.
1637
01:04:49.869 --> 01:04:53.090
This is one of my two teams. Go USA, go Mexico.
1638
01:04:53.750 --> 01:04:56.949
And if they score another goal, they advance to the
1639
01:04:56.989 --> 01:04:59.849
next round, which they have done since 1962, I think.
1640
01:05:00.050 --> 01:05:02.829
Okay, so what is the score right now?
1641
01:05:02.929 --> 01:05:03.670
It's 2-0.
1642
01:05:03.690 --> 01:05:05.170
2-0, and who are they playing?
1643
01:05:05.210 --> 01:05:07.139
Mexico's playing against Saudi Arabia right now.
1644
01:05:07.150 --> 01:05:09.889
But their game is also contingent on Argentina and Poland, right?
1645
01:05:09.909 --> 01:05:10.630
Potentially, yes.
1646
01:05:10.789 --> 01:05:14.550
So if Argentina can beat Poland by three goals, then
1647
01:05:14.590 --> 01:05:16.989
Mexico also gets in that way. And that score is
1648
01:05:17.030 --> 01:05:18.579
currently 2-0 Argentina.
1649
01:05:18.719 --> 01:05:19.500
Oh, jeez.
1650
01:05:19.539 --> 01:05:20.599
Goal in either game.
1651
01:05:21.360 --> 01:05:23.170
I want to watch... That's right.
1652
01:05:23.409 --> 01:05:25.409
I don't want to record.
1653
01:05:25.530 --> 01:05:29.750
Shout out to Blay for ratting me out while I
1654
01:05:29.769 --> 01:05:30.929
was watching these games.
1655
01:05:30.969 --> 01:05:35.380
He didn't rat you out. Blay is, you know, part
1656
01:05:35.420 --> 01:05:38.639
of the crew that has to keep this plane aloft.
1657
01:05:39.199 --> 01:05:43.110
And he saw someone behaving terribly in the cockpit.
1658
01:05:43.250 --> 01:05:44.329
Is this plane aloft?
1659
01:05:44.869 --> 01:05:46.269
I'm sorry.
1660
01:05:46.429 --> 01:05:48.269
It's a mess. Everyone's kind of a mess.
1661
01:05:48.309 --> 01:05:50.409
Can I just say that during the U.S.
1662
01:05:50.429 --> 01:05:53.659
Game yesterday, which was also equally as important, we decided
1663
01:05:53.699 --> 01:05:57.320
to push back recording of any podcast or anything like that.
1664
01:05:57.340 --> 01:06:00.320
But during Mexico's game, we were like, nope, we could
1665
01:06:00.340 --> 01:06:00.860
keep going.
1666
01:06:00.940 --> 01:06:01.679
But wait a minute.
1667
01:06:01.719 --> 01:06:04.639
Wait a minute. In fairness. Is this right? In fairness,
1668
01:06:04.800 --> 01:06:09.079
I want to be fair here. Had I known, Eduardo.
1669
01:06:09.099 --> 01:06:09.760
That's true.
1670
01:06:09.920 --> 01:06:12.139
Had I known that this game was happening and this
1671
01:06:12.159 --> 01:06:14.579
was important to you, I'm not as avid a soccer
1672
01:06:14.679 --> 01:06:20.059
fan as most people believe. But Eduardo, if I had known,
1673
01:06:20.820 --> 01:06:24.949
I would have said, your job's your job and fuck soccer.
1674
01:06:25.409 --> 01:06:25.949
I'm sorry.
1675
01:06:27.610 --> 01:06:28.110
I see.
1676
01:06:28.190 --> 01:06:29.730
But I just didn't know, so I didn't get to.
1677
01:06:29.829 --> 01:06:30.309
Fair enough.
1678
01:06:30.650 --> 01:06:33.449
No, I feel badly. You are allowed to keep watching
1679
01:06:33.469 --> 01:06:34.989
the game, and will you update us if anything happens?
1680
01:06:35.010 --> 01:06:37.170
I will update you. There's like three minutes left, so.
1681
01:06:37.369 --> 01:06:38.210
Eduardo, I have.
1682
01:06:38.110 --> 01:06:38.750
To hand it to you.
1683
01:06:39.050 --> 01:06:42.190
My hat's off to you, though you are as corrupt
1684
01:06:42.250 --> 01:06:45.690
as FIFA in what you're doing. But this is the
1685
01:06:45.820 --> 01:06:49.050
only sporting event I watch in my entire life, once
1686
01:06:49.139 --> 01:06:50.519
every four years, so I'm with you.
1687
01:06:50.860 --> 01:06:51.239
Thank you.
1688
01:06:51.440 --> 01:06:53.460
Oh, you follow soccer as well? I do. I used
1689
01:06:53.500 --> 01:06:55.079
to play as a kid. Or as we like to
1690
01:06:55.099 --> 01:06:55.780
call it, football.
1691
01:06:56.280 --> 01:06:56.619
We do.
1692
01:06:56.900 --> 01:06:57.909
Yeah.
1693
01:06:57.929 --> 01:06:58.320
Football.
1694
01:06:58.340 --> 01:06:58.510
Football.
1695
01:06:58.530 --> 01:06:58.989
Is that right?
1696
01:06:59.010 --> 01:06:59.630
That is correct.
1697
01:06:59.670 --> 01:07:00.070
Football.
1698
01:07:00.130 --> 01:07:00.349
Yes.
1699
01:07:00.570 --> 01:07:04.250
Would you have been able to tell if Eduardo, like
1700
01:07:04.309 --> 01:07:06.150
if you didn't know that he had the game, you
1701
01:07:06.170 --> 01:07:06.869
wouldn't have been.
1702
01:07:06.769 --> 01:07:08.030
Able to tell that he wasn't.
1703
01:07:08.139 --> 01:07:12.360
I could tell because Eduardo regularly, when he's not paying
1704
01:07:12.380 --> 01:07:15.019
attention to soccer, he has a couple of dials he
1705
01:07:15.139 --> 01:07:18.269
uses that gives me more of a manly voice. That's right.
1706
01:07:19.920 --> 01:07:26.199
And they're the testosterone knobs. And he, so I actually
1707
01:07:26.260 --> 01:07:30.869
sound like someone who could still have children. Instead of,
1708
01:07:31.340 --> 01:07:33.480
you know, I've pretty much turned into Georgia O'Keeffe now.
1709
01:07:34.840 --> 01:07:35.340
Very old.
1710
01:07:35.360 --> 01:07:38.809
How cool is that?
1711
01:07:38.969 --> 01:07:41.869
Wow, yeah. But anyway.
1712
01:07:42.219 --> 01:07:42.699
Was that it?
1713
01:07:43.019 --> 01:07:43.429
That was it.
1714
01:07:43.480 --> 01:07:44.280
That was the voice.
1715
01:07:44.340 --> 01:07:46.679
That was the fact I forgot to put on.
1716
01:07:46.699 --> 01:07:50.570
That's not more manly. That's me just as effeminate, but
1717
01:07:50.610 --> 01:07:51.630
trapped in a well.
1718
01:07:51.650 --> 01:07:52.550
Oh, I hear you.
1719
01:07:52.630 --> 01:07:52.969
Yeah.
1720
01:07:53.530 --> 01:07:55.170
Help me. Help me.
1721
01:07:55.929 --> 01:08:00.889
Can someone please lower down the soccer scores? I don't
1722
01:08:00.949 --> 01:08:02.460
get reception down here.
1723
01:08:02.480 --> 01:08:06.000
Please, Eduardo.
1724
01:08:07.329 --> 01:08:10.219
Well, I do think that you are within your rights. Listen,
1725
01:08:10.280 --> 01:08:13.420
we don't have... I believe people should stand up for themselves.
1726
01:08:13.780 --> 01:08:16.279
If you had come to me, Eduardo, seriously and said,
1727
01:08:16.300 --> 01:08:18.180
I really want to watch this game, we would have
1728
01:08:18.220 --> 01:08:20.479
made an adjustment. What else do I have to do?
1729
01:08:20.520 --> 01:08:22.779
I don't have young kids like Sona and Matt.
1730
01:08:22.859 --> 01:08:27.939
It doesn't matter. Saudi Arabia scored. Mexico screwed.
1731
01:08:28.090 --> 01:08:28.310
It's over.
1732
01:08:28.350 --> 01:08:29.670
Wait, no. Did it just happen?
1733
01:08:29.689 --> 01:08:31.119
It just happened right now.
1734
01:08:31.130 --> 01:08:32.390
Why are you laughing?
1735
01:08:32.909 --> 01:08:33.329
Because.
1736
01:08:34.060 --> 01:08:35.979
If you can't laugh at your misery, I don't know
1737
01:08:36.020 --> 01:08:36.680
what else to do.
1738
01:08:37.199 --> 01:08:37.739
Oh, man.
1739
01:08:37.819 --> 01:08:38.539
He is tearing up.
1740
01:08:39.199 --> 01:08:39.850
I'm sorry.
1741
01:08:39.899 --> 01:08:40.560
Wait.
1742
01:08:40.890 --> 01:08:41.819
This sucks.
1743
01:08:42.510 --> 01:08:43.550
What was the final score?
1744
01:08:43.609 --> 01:08:45.850
It's about to be 2-1. There's a minute left. But
1745
01:08:45.930 --> 01:08:47.890
either way, Mexico now has to score two goals.
1746
01:08:48.210 --> 01:08:48.489
Oh, shit.
1747
01:08:48.569 --> 01:08:49.750
And that's not going to happen.
1748
01:08:50.029 --> 01:08:50.489
Game over.
1749
01:08:50.550 --> 01:08:52.050
I'm sorry about that.
1750
01:08:52.090 --> 01:08:53.350
Back to our continued party.
1751
01:08:53.369 --> 01:08:53.850
You know what?
1752
01:08:54.069 --> 01:08:54.670
Oh, man.
1753
01:08:54.770 --> 01:08:55.770
I don't want to do this.
1754
01:08:55.949 --> 01:08:56.329
Well, no.
1755
01:08:56.430 --> 01:08:59.189
As miserable as you are right now, just think of
1756
01:08:59.289 --> 01:09:01.699
if I had forbid you to watch it, you'd have
1757
01:09:01.739 --> 01:09:05.300
a few more moments of happiness. But now in real time,
1758
01:09:05.340 --> 01:09:06.159
we hear your misery.
1759
01:09:06.359 --> 01:09:09.060
I believe that was karma. If I wouldn't have been watching,
1760
01:09:09.079 --> 01:09:11.470
I would have never had the heartbreak.
1761
01:09:11.489 --> 01:09:11.970
You did this.
1762
01:09:12.029 --> 01:09:12.369
You know what?
1763
01:09:12.430 --> 01:09:15.390
I have to say, I do this too. If I'm watching,
1764
01:09:16.090 --> 01:09:19.779
if my football team is down, and they've just been
1765
01:09:20.060 --> 01:09:23.010
playing terribly, I will leave the room and I say,
1766
01:09:23.090 --> 01:09:25.310
I'm going to give them time to sort this out
1767
01:09:25.430 --> 01:09:27.529
away from me. I'm serious.
1768
01:09:28.050 --> 01:09:29.449
And I'll go and take a walk or something and
1769
01:09:29.470 --> 01:09:29.970
then come back.
1770
01:09:30.069 --> 01:09:33.699
And often the fortunes have been reversed in my absence.
1771
01:09:33.920 --> 01:09:35.819
I just have a quick question. I want to travel
1772
01:09:35.859 --> 01:09:38.250
back on something here. You were going to give Eduardo
1773
01:09:38.350 --> 01:09:40.029
off if he simply would have asked for it. So
1774
01:09:40.069 --> 01:09:42.310
if Sona and I have something that deeply matters to.
1775
01:09:42.409 --> 01:09:44.510
Us, Describe deeply matters.
1776
01:09:44.550 --> 01:09:44.850
Be honest.
1777
01:09:44.970 --> 01:09:47.060
As a new star Wars TV show.
1778
01:09:47.119 --> 01:09:49.579
Oh, I'm thinking of kid related.
1779
01:09:49.619 --> 01:09:52.020
There's always a new star Wars TV show.
1780
01:09:52.060 --> 01:09:52.300
Great.
1781
01:09:52.319 --> 01:09:53.119
So this applies.
1782
01:09:53.180 --> 01:09:56.279
We can just, no, I mean, listen, within reason, I
1783
01:09:56.300 --> 01:09:58.640
don't like to think of myself as the boss. I
1784
01:09:58.800 --> 01:10:00.659
I'm uncomfortable in that position. I like to think of
1785
01:10:00.720 --> 01:10:08.229
myself as the absolute dictator. And so, uh, Oh, yeah.
1786
01:10:08.510 --> 01:10:09.050
I don't know.
1787
01:10:09.210 --> 01:10:09.689
Of course.
1788
01:10:09.850 --> 01:10:11.840
Of course. I want you guys to be happy. You're
1789
01:10:11.899 --> 01:10:14.819
integral to the whole process. So on the air, I'm
1790
01:10:14.840 --> 01:10:17.279
going to say yes. If you ever need to move
1791
01:10:17.319 --> 01:10:20.260
the schedule, please move it now.
1792
01:10:20.319 --> 01:10:20.939
It's on record.
1793
01:10:21.079 --> 01:10:21.819
It's on record.
1794
01:10:21.859 --> 01:10:23.760
No, but you don't know the tones of his voice.
1795
01:10:23.819 --> 01:10:26.210
Well, I'm just going to edit whatever comes after this.
1796
01:10:26.369 --> 01:10:29.270
Oh, no, but that tone and the way he said that.
1797
01:10:29.569 --> 01:10:33.489
But I'm very good at pretending. I have other people
1798
01:10:33.510 --> 01:10:36.340
do my dirty work. So I'll have Adam Sachs drop
1799
01:10:36.359 --> 01:10:39.000
the hammer at Jeff Ross, and then I'll, oh, I
1800
01:10:39.060 --> 01:10:40.100
had no idea.
1801
01:10:40.119 --> 01:10:40.640
Oh, boy.
1802
01:10:40.699 --> 01:10:41.880
I had no idea.
1803
01:10:41.899 --> 01:10:42.319
Yeah.
1804
01:10:42.880 --> 01:10:47.000
Oh, I thought I was fine with you doing whatever
1805
01:10:47.680 --> 01:10:51.060
you wanted to see. Was it Star Trek? No.
1806
01:10:51.079 --> 01:10:51.159
Next?
1807
01:10:51.239 --> 01:10:51.800
Star Wars.
1808
01:10:52.119 --> 01:10:52.399
Okay.
1809
01:10:52.779 --> 01:10:55.659
Isn't there a Star Wars where they visit Star Trek?
1810
01:10:55.779 --> 01:10:56.100
No.
1811
01:10:56.439 --> 01:10:57.020
There should be.
1812
01:10:57.220 --> 01:10:57.939
What are you doing?
1813
01:10:58.140 --> 01:11:01.359
I'm just saying. Luke Skywalker's there, and then Spock is like,
1814
01:11:01.399 --> 01:11:02.399
live long and prosper.
1815
01:11:02.590 --> 01:11:02.670
Oh.
1816
01:11:03.189 --> 01:11:06.100
That makes everybody happy. That's a money-making machine.
1817
01:11:06.119 --> 01:11:07.439
No, it makes everyone upset.
1818
01:11:07.600 --> 01:11:07.779
Okay.
1819
01:11:07.800 --> 01:11:08.739
All right.
1820
01:11:09.399 --> 01:11:11.920
Listen, now I know your plan, and I know if
1821
01:11:12.020 --> 01:11:13.920
Adam comes and puts the hammer down, that I'll know
1822
01:11:13.979 --> 01:11:14.350
it's you.
1823
01:11:14.359 --> 01:11:15.329
Yeah, but do you?
1824
01:11:16.310 --> 01:11:16.609
Yes.
1825
01:11:17.050 --> 01:11:19.270
I'm pretty good at sometimes pretending to be a good guy.
1826
01:11:19.289 --> 01:11:20.430
It's all pretend.
1827
01:11:20.649 --> 01:11:21.250
It's all pretend.
1828
01:11:22.850 --> 01:11:26.779
Well, listen, Eduardo, I do. I'm sorry for your loss.
1829
01:11:26.819 --> 01:11:29.380
I know that's disappointing, but all you have to do
1830
01:11:29.460 --> 01:11:33.520
is wait four years and maybe you'll have a little
1831
01:11:33.659 --> 01:11:34.140
bit of goodness.
1832
01:11:34.180 --> 01:11:35.689
Still have USA. Go USA.
1833
01:11:35.750 --> 01:11:37.109
It's only three and a half years because we'll be
1834
01:11:37.149 --> 01:11:38.189
back in summer next time.
1835
01:11:38.210 --> 01:11:38.470
That's right.
1836
01:11:38.489 --> 01:11:41.430
Do people get angry if the Mexico team goes back
1837
01:11:41.489 --> 01:11:43.430
home and they've been kicked out already?
1838
01:11:43.449 --> 01:11:45.189
People throw like eggs at them?
1839
01:11:45.350 --> 01:11:48.310
No, weirdly, it's expected that we'll lose in the next round.
1840
01:11:49.550 --> 01:11:50.189
Oh. Yeah.
1841
01:11:50.229 --> 01:11:52.970
But to lose in this round is a disappointment.
1842
01:11:53.270 --> 01:11:53.510
Yeah.
1843
01:11:53.529 --> 01:11:54.590
Sorry about that.
1844
01:11:54.649 --> 01:11:57.649
Also, I think throwing, having eggs thrown at you is
1845
01:11:57.949 --> 01:12:01.270
not the worst outcome for some of these teams. Oh, yeah.
1846
01:12:01.760 --> 01:12:05.560
Returning to their countries after they've lost. Having an egg
1847
01:12:05.600 --> 01:12:07.979
thrown at them would be quite a delight for some
1848
01:12:08.020 --> 01:12:10.770
of these countries. So that got serious really fast.
1849
01:12:10.779 --> 01:12:11.770
You brought it down a lot, Conan.
1850
01:12:11.810 --> 01:12:12.050
Sorry.
1851
01:12:12.130 --> 01:12:14.270
I don't know why you did that. Eggs was like
1852
01:12:14.310 --> 01:12:17.189
a fun, lighthearted thing. And then you just got really serious.
1853
01:12:17.550 --> 01:12:18.010
I don't know.
1854
01:12:18.130 --> 01:12:18.350
Yeah.
1855
01:12:18.750 --> 01:12:19.770
I don't like it anymore.
1856
01:12:19.970 --> 01:12:22.010
You know, I don't think anyone in Iran right now
1857
01:12:22.090 --> 01:12:25.090
is saying, well, we lost to the United States. We're
1858
01:12:25.109 --> 01:12:26.729
on the flight home. I hope no one throws an
1859
01:12:26.979 --> 01:12:27.529
egg at me.
1860
01:12:27.560 --> 01:12:27.640
Okay.
1861
01:12:27.909 --> 01:12:29.409
Well, I'm sorry. This got really dark.
1862
01:12:29.449 --> 01:12:32.189
I'm very uncomfortable. I don't even want to, like, giggle
1863
01:12:32.210 --> 01:12:33.170
at the things that you're saying.
1864
01:12:33.189 --> 01:12:33.630
No, you shouldn't.
1865
01:12:33.649 --> 01:12:34.130
You shouldn't.
1866
01:12:34.149 --> 01:12:34.539
Because it's not.
1867
01:12:34.590 --> 01:12:36.430
The fact that you even thought about giggling makes you
1868
01:12:36.449 --> 01:12:37.170
a sociopath.
1869
01:12:37.189 --> 01:12:39.310
Well, you said it. You said it, though.
1870
01:12:39.329 --> 01:12:39.529
I know.
1871
01:12:39.550 --> 01:12:40.729
You're the one who brought it up.
1872
01:12:40.789 --> 01:12:41.720
I was very serious.
1873
01:12:41.840 --> 01:12:43.340
And then you decided to make light of it.
1874
01:12:43.479 --> 01:12:43.880
I don't.
1875
01:12:44.140 --> 01:12:48.199
I value human life. You disgust me, Sona.
1876
01:12:48.220 --> 01:12:50.779
I'm just going to drink my water. Every time I
1877
01:12:50.800 --> 01:12:52.720
get uncomfortable, I'm just going to take a sip.
1878
01:12:52.960 --> 01:12:53.399
Okay.
1879
01:12:53.439 --> 01:12:56.760
That's a lot of water. Peace out, Tupac.
1880
01:12:58.250 --> 01:13:02.149
Conan O'Brien needs a friend. With Conan O'Brien, Sona Movsesian,
1881
01:13:02.409 --> 01:13:06.000
and Matt Gourley. Produced by me, Matt Gourley. Executive produced
1882
01:13:06.039 --> 01:13:09.699
by Adam Sachs, Joanna Solitaroff, and Jeff Ross at Team Coco,
1883
01:13:09.899 --> 01:13:13.060
and Colin Anderson and Cody Fisher at Earwolf. Theme song
1884
01:13:13.100 --> 01:13:16.239
by The White Stripes. Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino.
1885
01:13:16.579 --> 01:13:17.279
Take it away, Jimmy.
1886
01:13:20.359 --> 01:13:23.390
Our supervising producer is Aaron Blair, and our associate talent
1887
01:13:23.409 --> 01:13:27.890
producer is Jennifer Samples. Engineering by Eduardo Perez. Additional production
1888
01:13:27.909 --> 01:13:31.979
support by Mars Melnick. Talent booking by Paula Davis, Gina Batista,
1889
01:13:32.260 --> 01:13:34.810
and Britt Kahn. You can rate and review this show
1890
01:13:34.890 --> 01:13:37.529
on Apple Podcasts and you might find your review read
1891
01:13:37.630 --> 01:13:38.609
on a future episode.
1892
01:13:38.949 --> 01:13:39.989
Got a question for Conan?
1893
01:13:40.300 --> 01:13:45.239
Call the Team Coco hotline at 323-451-2821 and leave a message.
1894
01:13:45.539 --> 01:13:47.819
It too could be featured on a future episode. And
1895
01:13:47.859 --> 01:13:50.659
if you haven't already, please subscribe to Conan O'Brien Needs
1896
01:13:50.680 --> 01:13:54.760
a Friend on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or wherever fine podcasts
1897
01:13:54.899 --> 01:14:04.819
are downloaded. This has been a Team Coco production in
1898
01:14:04.859 --> 01:14:06.479
association with Earwolf.
1899
01:14:14.010 --> 01:14:16.600
Due to the leaves falling in autumn and the challenges
1900
01:14:16.649 --> 01:14:19.880
this brings, Eireann Road Eireann wishes to advise customers that
1901
01:14:19.909 --> 01:14:22.920
a revised timetable will take effect on Dart and Dublin
1902
01:14:22.979 --> 01:14:27.920
commuter routes from Monday, September 21st until December 12th. Morning
1903
01:14:27.960 --> 01:14:30.960
and evening peak services will be affected with some earlier
1904
01:14:30.979 --> 01:14:34.020
departure times. Please check travel times on the Eireann Road
1905
01:14:34.140 --> 01:14:38.199
Eireann app or irishrail.ie. Eireann Road Eireann is part of
1906
01:14:38.239 --> 01:14:39.659
the Transport for Ireland network.
1907
01:14:42.520 --> 01:14:44.340
Did you always want to become a teacher?
1908
01:14:44.560 --> 01:14:45.699
For as long as I can remember.
1909
01:14:45.800 --> 01:14:47.699
Bad Apples, starring Saoirse Ronan.
1910
01:14:47.779 --> 01:14:48.220
Danny!
1911
01:14:48.479 --> 01:14:49.279
Shut up!
1912
01:14:49.380 --> 01:14:50.579
Four stars, Empire.
1913
01:14:50.619 --> 01:14:52.520
You pushed a girl down the stairs. I'm going to
1914
01:14:52.539 --> 01:14:54.899
tell everyone you attacked me. Let me go!
1915
01:14:55.010 --> 01:14:55.600
I hate you!
1916
01:14:55.619 --> 01:14:57.350
A relentless dark comedy, IndieWire.
1917
01:14:57.359 --> 01:14:59.970
Investigations continue into the disappearance of Danny Carter.
1918
01:15:00.010 --> 01:15:02.189
Deliciously twisted BBC talking movies.
1919
01:15:02.210 --> 01:15:03.289
You're never letting me go, are you?
1920
01:15:03.310 --> 01:15:05.149
Top of its class, The Hollywood Reporter.
1921
01:15:05.229 --> 01:15:07.310
Is anyone feeling sad or anxious?
1922
01:15:07.869 --> 01:15:09.090
No? All right.
1923
01:15:09.550 --> 01:15:11.430
Bad Apples, in cinemas September 18th.