Talking about feeling intuition & embracing change.

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Hello and welcome to Casually Profound.

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I'm Lauren McLean, your host, and here bringing you conversations with friends about how we

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apply spiritual concepts into our everyday lives.

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Even though we have all come through these conversations and these stories through our

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own personal experience, and many of us work as coaches in these areas, none of us are

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claiming to be experts in this.

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We are all here as peers talking about what we have been through and what we've learned

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from it and where we're going next.

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And today we're talking about why people choose to grow.

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And why this question has just been tickling my brain for a while.

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Because you notice some people who have decided to go on the spiritual journey and do all

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their healing and do whatever and they're still not there.

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And yet there's other people who are totally unconscious or are totally not on any kind

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of journey, but yet they have a lifestyle or have different things that we think we

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should have when we're pursuing growth.

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So this paradox has totally been tickling my brain.

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And I want to put some people on who have had exposure to this and have been on a journey

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themselves and have witnessed other people's journeys to talk about why this happens and

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what's going on and what is the meaning of life.

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Because all friends talk about this, right, all the time.

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This is like a regular Tuesday conversation.

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So hello and welcome, my friends.

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We have Quinlan, Lainey, and Anastasia joining us today from all over the North America.

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And hello, welcome.

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Thank you for joining us today.

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Thanks for having us.

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Hi.

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Hi.

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So one of the beautiful things about bringing on a group of peers like this is that you

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as the listener are also one of our peers.

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If anything in this conversation excites you, turns you on, gets you talking back to the

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computer screen, feel free to send us a message and you can join these conversations as well.

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Send us a message on Instagram at Casually Profound and we can absolutely build a conversation

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right from there.

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So ladies, what has been a time when you knew in yourself that you were ready to grow and

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step into the higher version of yourself or a better version of yourself?

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What really called you into that resonance or that space?

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What was that?

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What was the like aha moment?

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And like, oh shit, we're growing up here.

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Anastasia, you look ready to dive in.

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Yeah, I'll go.

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So for me, when it first happened, I mean, I've had so many of these moments and you're

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like, all right, that's where we're going.

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We're really growing again.

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But kind of that initial moment for me, and it wasn't a specific like single moment in

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time, but it was a certain time in my life that I was in.

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It was around my dark night of the soul when I was literally at the depth of like all of

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the stuff that was going wrong in my life.

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And at that time, I was living with major depressive disorder, the height of my chronic

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pain where like I couldn't get out of bed most days, whether it was from depression

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or pain.

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I really lost my life while living.

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And it was a devastating time in my life and it was very lonely.

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And I just kind of came to this point where I knew that it was either change or die.

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I couldn't continue living the way that I was.

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Something had to give.

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So I chose change and I kept fighting and working towards bettering myself and whether

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that was fighting for care because the military didn't want to cover any of my care after

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my injury for quite a while or starting to read books.

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I really followed that path and it ended up just leading me into the growth itself.

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And then I became almost like addicted to the growth in a good way where I just wanted

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to learn more and learn more and learn more and do more and do more.

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And I just kept on going.

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Cool.

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What was your first step in realizing it was time to change or die?

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Yeah.

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So it was actually at that time, I had been a beach body coach because I had kind of,

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so this was this time was right around my surgery.

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So before my surgery, I was like, I don't know that I want to be in the military anymore

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forever considering like I was harassed every day after my injury.

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And it was, I was getting to the point where I was like, I was just done.

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So I was looking for something else.

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And in that time I had also found each body coaching and I had bootlegged a program because

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I was like, I need to learn about fitness so I can start rehabbing myself because I

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can't get care.

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And so I started doing this beach body program and eventually became a coach there.

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And as a result of that, I was kind of in the sphere.

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And right after my surgery, there was another coach that was running a program for the month

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of May.

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So it was one of the challenge groups that they do and it was called May You Love Yourself

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Spiritually.

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And I was like, Ooh, this looks interesting.

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And I just had this spark of like, you need to reach out and see if you can be a part

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of this.

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And she was teaching about like, or parts and angels and intuition and self love and

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all of these things that every so often came into my life, but I never actually explored

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them.

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But I was like, no, okay, I got to take this step.

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So I reached out to her and said, Hey, you know what, can I be a part of this?

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I know that I'm not part of your team, whatever.

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And she's like, yeah, no problem.

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So I joined this group and it awakened everything in me.

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I started coming into like learning about my intuition because I had no idea what that

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was learning about self love.

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Because again, I had no idea how to love myself.

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I spent so many years in that energy of not enough and hatred of myself and judgment of

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myself.

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So this was that first step that really opened me up.

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And it's because I followed what I now know is my intuition.

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But at the time I was like, I think I just got to do this.

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Yeah, that makes a lot of sense.

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I'm super curious to know how, how would you define intuition?

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That's a really great question.

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I have thought and this is not like I think I have an answer.

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I have thought the same thing.

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I have very similar conversations and, and I love hearing other people's perspectives,

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especially people who are in a, in a really spiritual space versus people who are in a

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really medical or scientific space.

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Right.

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And I love how any of that overlaps.

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So I would love to know.

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Yeah.

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Like what are your, yeah.

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What are your thoughts?

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So intuition for me is that I mean, so looking at it from the soul, from the soul and spiritual

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perspective, it's your soul speaking to you.

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Looking at it from a less spiritual perspective, it's that inner voice inside of you that is

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saying like, you know, you need to do this or something needs to change or, you know,

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giving these little like pings of you want to be called over here, like walk this path

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or, or maybe check out this book or whatever it is.

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So for me, yeah, your intuition is, is that little voice inside of yourself.

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It's your soul really speaking through you and giving you the nudges and the directions

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that you're meant to go in this lifetime that are going to make you feel better, feel stronger,

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more confident, more aligned in yourself, more purposeful, that are going to bring you

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deeper connection and love from that, you know, more field and like higher place rather

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than staying in victimhood or struggle or pain.

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So it's really that, that voice just pulling you forward.

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And one of the things that I feel when you're discerning if something is right for you and

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using your intuition or trying to listen to that inner voice is when fear comes up, fear

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is almost always going to be present.

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And we're not trying to erase fear because we can't, it's really part of ourselves as

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a human.

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And when we are trying to discern if something is for us, what I do is I look beyond the

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fear.

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You know, if I'm feeling into something, so if I maybe I'm taking a, I want to invest

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in a coaching program or I want to take a trip or do something that feels a little bit

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big and scary for me, I feel into it and underneath that fear, is it pulling me forward?

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Does it make me feel lighter?

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Does it feel like it's going to really bring me along the path that I'm meant to go on?

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Or does it feel heavy and contracted and making me want to really shrink down and hide away?

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So is it expansive or is that about heavy and contracted and not underneath the fear

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is how I can discern what my intuition is actually telling me.

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I love that.

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That's beautiful.

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Thank you.

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Lainey or Quimlin, do you guys have thoughts on what your intuition looks, sounds, feels

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like to you guys?

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I was, when I learned my human design and like started learning all about that and how

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to use that instead of into like it's, I won't go into it right now because I'm probably

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not the person to explain it the best, but that is to lead by my emotions.

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And so I started replacing that with intuition and that's been a game changer for me.

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And I think that other people with different types of human design, they have like different

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centers activated that they're supposed to use for making decisions.

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And everyone that I've talked to that has different centers activated that like are

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supposed to be their decision maker, they really strongly resonate with that too.

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So I don't know.

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That changed my view on it when I learned all about that.

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May I ask what your type and authority is?

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I am a projector emotional authority.

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Ah, okay.

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So I'm a generator with an emotional authority and you're a generator with a screening authority,

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right?

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Sacral.

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Sacral.

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Okay.

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Quimlin, do you, do you fuck with human design?

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I am so, I'm an astrology whore.

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So I know all of that stuff, but I have an app, so go ahead and I'll tell you what I'm

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going to do in a minute.

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Okay.

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So human design is astrology, but instead of plugging their planet into a 360 degree

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wheel, human astrology does, and then you calculate your angles and everything based

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on the 360 degree and like the trigonometry of it.

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And human design, it takes the planet, duplicates it for funsies, and then plugs the two sets

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of planets into a 64 door circle, which is the 64 doors are each of the things of the

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I Ching.

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And so the planets still have degrees, still have aspects, still have everything, but instead

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like the way astrology does, except instead of it being on a 360 degree circle, it's on

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a 64 portal circle.

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And each of the 64 things work very similarly in astrology in human design.

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So in human design, let's say gate two is activated by your son.

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That I don't know what gate two is specifically, but it would have worked very similarly.

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Well, like if you were looking at an astrological chart, if your son was sitting in like the

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first deacon of we'll say the first house, it would, that would have a very particular

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meaning, right?

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And so that it like, it translates to human design in that way.

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However, human design does go a layer deeper on like the analyticalness of it, where there's

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the four transformations of human design.

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And so with astrology, the energy like kind of bounces around the birth chart based on

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aspects and based on whatever.

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And so different planets and houses and things play off each other.

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But in human design, energy comes in through a planet and into a gate and then into your

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like the equivalent, human design equivalent of chakras.

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And so then it activates a chakra and it activates a way of being and then allows, then when

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that energy comes in, activates a way of being, then it gives you a chance to express that

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energy in a way that is allegedly aligned with your soul or unaligned with your soul

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allegedly.

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And that all happens in the body.

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So it kind of mixes the planetary energies of astrology with a more applied body centric

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focus, although the method of like integrating and living human design from a embodied and

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deconditioned experience is like, in my opinion, like 10 years longer of a journey than astrology

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is.

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I always find astrology is much easier to comprehend, but like human design.

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So for example, when I listen to lots of human design readers on the internet, lots of them

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repeat this and parrot the same information over and over and over again, because there's

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so much information to know about human design that like it's very hard to come to a first

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person embodied understanding of it.

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And so you end up with the same people parroting the same shit all the time.

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Whereas astrology, there's kind of less like data points that you have to know.

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And so it's kind of easier to come to a more embodied experience of it.

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So you can get a lot more variety of people teaching and doing things, if that makes sense.

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Anyways, so the types of energy, the energy types in human design would be very akin to

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like a sun sign.

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And then your authority is very akin to be an authority in astrology.

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Like a house?

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No, it's more of a.

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So your authority in human design tells you how you would make decisions.

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I feel like shatter and a shatter in place that would give you that information possibly.

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I feel like the decisions would be some kind of mix between your Mars and you're probably

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rising.

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I would buy that completely.

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But it's basically.

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So what Lainey was saying is how your emotions.

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So like everybody will have it.

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So I'm emotions and Lainey's emotions.

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And so the when you the idea is in human design, when you follow that authority, then as opposed

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to following your mind, then you are able to make decisions more clearly, more easily

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and more effortlessly.

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Which is known as alliance.

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Yes, with following your intuition.

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So that was the best explanation of you.

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I've had so many people try and explain human design to me.

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I'm like, but what is it?

235
00:15:38,400 --> 00:15:41,720
And they're like, I'm like, that was so vague.

236
00:15:41,720 --> 00:15:43,080
I'll download the app.

237
00:15:43,080 --> 00:15:46,400
It's just astrology put through a different interface.

238
00:15:46,400 --> 00:15:47,400
I'm a generator.

239
00:15:47,400 --> 00:15:51,240
You just bodied that one.

240
00:15:51,240 --> 00:15:54,480
I cannot see that in the slightest.

241
00:15:54,480 --> 00:15:57,960
I'm a generator generator with a state role authority.

242
00:15:57,960 --> 00:16:00,960
It's like the same as anesthesia.

243
00:16:00,960 --> 00:16:09,920
I'm 100% generated and super excited about generating.

244
00:16:09,920 --> 00:16:10,920
We also know our sign.

245
00:16:10,920 --> 00:16:13,400
Do we all know our big three?

246
00:16:13,400 --> 00:16:17,240
Can I hear those two?

247
00:16:17,240 --> 00:16:18,240
Yeah.

248
00:16:18,240 --> 00:16:32,600
So we have the cat Aquarius Sun, Virgo rising and Leo moon.

249
00:16:32,600 --> 00:16:43,160
So in tropical astrology, I am Sagittarius Sun, Sagittarius rising and Scorpio moon.

250
00:16:43,160 --> 00:16:56,160
But in sidereal astrology, I am Scorpio Sun, Theicus rising and Libra moon.

251
00:16:56,160 --> 00:16:59,160
We are one of the same.

252
00:16:59,160 --> 00:17:01,120
That's interesting.

253
00:17:01,120 --> 00:17:05,320
That checks out.

254
00:17:05,320 --> 00:17:08,960
So Quinlan, what's your big three?

255
00:17:08,960 --> 00:17:16,440
So I am a Scorpio Sun, Scorpio rising, Leo moon, but I also have my Venus and Mars are

256
00:17:16,440 --> 00:17:19,640
both in Sag in my first house.

257
00:17:19,640 --> 00:17:21,960
That comes out really interesting.

258
00:17:21,960 --> 00:17:22,960
Very cool.

259
00:17:22,960 --> 00:17:30,240
So it's really like Scorpio Sag Leo.

260
00:17:30,240 --> 00:17:34,200
I don't know the two different types you were talking about, Anastasia, but I'm a Virgo

261
00:17:34,200 --> 00:17:41,600
Sun, Gemini rising and Aquarius moon.

262
00:17:41,600 --> 00:17:43,200
Oh my God.

263
00:17:43,200 --> 00:17:45,560
I love that for you.

264
00:17:45,560 --> 00:17:49,240
I feel like Kate.

265
00:17:49,240 --> 00:17:50,240
Yeah.

266
00:17:50,240 --> 00:17:55,760
I feel like knowing what your social media feed looks like now that you've given yourself

267
00:17:55,760 --> 00:17:58,680
the freedom to use it to accept.

268
00:17:58,680 --> 00:18:05,080
I feel like that's a total, totally makes sense, like a Virgo Gemini Aquarius.

269
00:18:05,080 --> 00:18:06,080
Yeah.

270
00:18:06,080 --> 00:18:07,080
I don't know.

271
00:18:07,080 --> 00:18:12,440
I feel like everyone probably feels like theirs is so cool because it's like them, right?

272
00:18:12,440 --> 00:18:17,920
And like hopefully, but I'm like, those are such weird combos in my opinion, but it feels

273
00:18:17,920 --> 00:18:18,920
very me.

274
00:18:18,920 --> 00:18:21,920
Like it definitely feels very me.

275
00:18:21,920 --> 00:18:22,920
So.

276
00:18:22,920 --> 00:18:27,320
Who was your first one again?

277
00:18:27,320 --> 00:18:28,920
Virgo.

278
00:18:28,920 --> 00:18:29,920
Yeah.

279
00:18:29,920 --> 00:18:30,920
Virgo.

280
00:18:30,920 --> 00:18:36,240
Well, see like the Virgo is grounding though, because Gemini and Aquarius, that's a shit

281
00:18:36,240 --> 00:18:40,200
disturb are waiting to happen.

282
00:18:40,200 --> 00:18:45,480
But the Virgo Sun is very grounding in that, very practical.

283
00:18:45,480 --> 00:18:46,480
And so.

284
00:18:46,480 --> 00:18:47,480
Yes, she is.

285
00:18:47,480 --> 00:18:48,480
Yes, she is.

286
00:18:48,480 --> 00:18:55,720
See, my only Aquarius placements, I have Australian in the sixth house, which is the Virgo house

287
00:18:55,720 --> 00:18:59,640
ruled by whatever planet rules Virgo, I can never remember.

288
00:18:59,640 --> 00:19:02,160
And so my Aquarius is in the sixth house.

289
00:19:02,160 --> 00:19:07,000
So that Aquarius and Virgo connection is like so strong.

290
00:19:07,000 --> 00:19:11,640
And so like things like explaining crazy concepts, I can just be like, oh yeah, it's like this

291
00:19:11,640 --> 00:19:12,640
and like this.

292
00:19:12,640 --> 00:19:17,320
And I have to say, they're on board or they're totally lost.

293
00:19:17,320 --> 00:19:20,520
It doesn't make perfect sense.

294
00:19:20,520 --> 00:19:22,080
That lines up.

295
00:19:22,080 --> 00:19:25,080
That makes perfect sense.

296
00:19:25,080 --> 00:19:33,600
Anyways, the intuition.

297
00:19:33,600 --> 00:19:43,720
I'm curious how intuition has played a role in your like our, all our ability to grow

298
00:19:43,720 --> 00:19:45,680
and change throughout life.

299
00:19:45,680 --> 00:19:51,840
Because I feel like one of the biggest things like they overlap to me in the sense that

300
00:19:51,840 --> 00:19:59,400
me growing and evolving as a person has really happened because I'm peeling back different

301
00:19:59,400 --> 00:20:04,840
layers that have kind of obviously stated my intuition.

302
00:20:04,840 --> 00:20:08,960
So thinking from a human design perspective, that's really, really just a deep conditioning

303
00:20:08,960 --> 00:20:10,320
journey.

304
00:20:10,320 --> 00:20:14,560
And in my human design, I have a split channel and an open head.

305
00:20:14,560 --> 00:20:21,760
And so the open head center means that I take on other people's ideas very, very, very easily.

306
00:20:21,760 --> 00:20:25,520
And I can let go of other people's ideas very, very easily.

307
00:20:25,520 --> 00:20:30,760
I have no defined sense within myself of my own ideas.

308
00:20:30,760 --> 00:20:37,080
I only have a body sense of where my, like what I'm doing with my life.

309
00:20:37,080 --> 00:20:39,400
And so it's very easy to get overwhelmed with that.

310
00:20:39,400 --> 00:20:46,080
And so one of the early stages of me growing and evolving and changing as a person is letting

311
00:20:46,080 --> 00:20:52,880
go of the authority that ideas have in my decision making process.

312
00:20:52,880 --> 00:20:58,640
And the like mental pro and con list and that kind of thing was kind of one stage of things.

313
00:20:58,640 --> 00:21:04,840
And so coming into that intuition, I think Laney, you described it right, as following

314
00:21:04,840 --> 00:21:08,320
your emotions and kind of coming into that side of things.

315
00:21:08,320 --> 00:21:17,600
And for me, it's been less about what I experience as emotions and more about just giving my

316
00:21:17,600 --> 00:21:24,720
body the space to do the calculations on an abacus, like the emotional abacus, instead

317
00:21:24,720 --> 00:21:30,200
of trying to like hold the mental spreadsheet of like what everything is doing.

318
00:21:30,200 --> 00:21:37,400
And so I want to throw this back to y'all to see what that connection between intuition

319
00:21:37,400 --> 00:21:41,040
and growth has been like for you guys.

320
00:21:41,040 --> 00:21:55,920
Yeah, I mean, I would say I really resonate with intuition as a sensation of less so words

321
00:21:55,920 --> 00:21:57,200
or a voice.

322
00:21:57,200 --> 00:22:05,600
And I can think of three really pivotal points in my life where change was not an option.

323
00:22:05,600 --> 00:22:08,040
Like you were, it was just you had to do it.

324
00:22:08,040 --> 00:22:11,600
Like I was being pushed and it was like, here we go.

325
00:22:11,600 --> 00:22:16,880
And they're the best from the best point in my life eventually.

326
00:22:16,880 --> 00:22:23,240
But it was more of like a sensation and trying to separate what I was scared of or what I

327
00:22:23,240 --> 00:22:26,960
thought was going to happen or who I thought I was and what I was going to have to let

328
00:22:26,960 --> 00:22:28,400
go of.

329
00:22:28,400 --> 00:22:30,040
That was all those were all words.

330
00:22:30,040 --> 00:22:31,040
That was all a voice.

331
00:22:31,040 --> 00:22:33,600
And my body was saying, I don't care.

332
00:22:33,600 --> 00:22:35,680
Like you're going to just have to do these things.

333
00:22:35,680 --> 00:22:40,720
One of them was moving when I was a teenager of 18, 19, when I left Philly and I moved

334
00:22:40,720 --> 00:22:45,040
to Portland by myself, I didn't know anyone, talked up my shit, literally had two suit

335
00:22:45,040 --> 00:22:48,560
cases, flew to Portland and like felt a life, which was amazing.

336
00:22:48,560 --> 00:22:53,480
I had five years to become an adult and like build this life for myself and really figure

337
00:22:53,480 --> 00:22:54,480
out who I was.

338
00:22:54,480 --> 00:23:02,080
While I was there, the second point was when my mom died, which was four years ago.

339
00:23:02,080 --> 00:23:04,160
And that was a whole lot.

340
00:23:04,160 --> 00:23:10,120
A lot of my childhood stuff stemmed back to my relationship with my mom.

341
00:23:10,120 --> 00:23:17,400
So that forced me into a whole new world, got me into therapy, which then brought the

342
00:23:17,400 --> 00:23:19,040
next version of myself.

343
00:23:19,040 --> 00:23:26,840
And I would say the last like six months, six, eight months, that was point number three

344
00:23:26,840 --> 00:23:29,120
where I had finished school.

345
00:23:29,120 --> 00:23:36,400
I've been through a really, really rough relationship, really rough relationship that broke me.

346
00:23:36,400 --> 00:23:38,440
Well, maybe not broke it.

347
00:23:38,440 --> 00:23:42,280
I lost myself without a doubt and I had to rebuild again.

348
00:23:42,280 --> 00:23:46,900
So they were all points in time where I just, I couldn't fight the change.

349
00:23:46,900 --> 00:23:50,320
And my body was telling me something's got to give.

350
00:23:50,320 --> 00:23:53,360
And the words were saying, oh my God, this is fucking terrifying.

351
00:23:53,360 --> 00:23:54,920
Who, who do you think you are?

352
00:23:54,920 --> 00:23:56,560
And my body was like, we don't care.

353
00:23:56,560 --> 00:23:58,520
We're just going to figure it out.

354
00:23:58,520 --> 00:24:03,200
And it always, always played out more beautifully than the last.

355
00:24:03,200 --> 00:24:04,760
Like it's terrifying, right?

356
00:24:04,760 --> 00:24:07,520
When you're in the middle of something like that, I'm sure we've all been there.

357
00:24:07,520 --> 00:24:10,200
And you're like, oh my God, what am I going to do?

358
00:24:10,200 --> 00:24:14,800
And then you look up one day and you're like, holy shit, I did that.

359
00:24:14,800 --> 00:24:16,240
But it's that intuition for me.

360
00:24:16,240 --> 00:24:22,560
It's like that, just that feeling of this skin that we're trying to stay in is not,

361
00:24:22,560 --> 00:24:23,560
it's not in life.

362
00:24:23,560 --> 00:24:26,560
Like we're busting, busting at the seams kind of a thing.

363
00:24:26,560 --> 00:24:37,160
I think lots of those moments, like what you're describing, where it's terrifying in the moment,

364
00:24:37,160 --> 00:24:44,880
my, I always wanted to want still to current active pattern to over intellectualize things

365
00:24:44,880 --> 00:24:52,600
and you know, think about my feelings instead of feeling what's actually going on.

366
00:24:52,600 --> 00:24:58,320
And so one of the questions that I've often asked myself is like, is this the fear, the

367
00:24:58,320 --> 00:25:05,200
exciting fear that you jump into or is this actually like, there is actual danger here

368
00:25:05,200 --> 00:25:08,960
and is this an actual problem?

369
00:25:08,960 --> 00:25:15,100
And I love getting stuck in that loop for so long and just staying stuck in that little

370
00:25:15,100 --> 00:25:18,080
loop of not knowing.

371
00:25:18,080 --> 00:25:22,760
And the answer, not times I've 10, it's titillating fear and jump away.

372
00:25:22,760 --> 00:25:23,760
Right.

373
00:25:23,760 --> 00:25:33,040
And I'm not paralysis by analysis, but you can just get bogged down by continue analyzing

374
00:25:33,040 --> 00:25:35,800
the same thing for the next seven years.

375
00:25:35,800 --> 00:25:42,600
And I probably won't know or feel more comfortable in making this just like, just kind of fuck

376
00:25:42,600 --> 00:25:47,920
around and find out that's been, that's been my life lesson from most of those, the little

377
00:25:47,920 --> 00:25:48,920
times.

378
00:25:48,920 --> 00:25:49,920
Yeah.

379
00:25:49,920 --> 00:25:57,040
It's funny, like the way that you just described that Quinlan and something that I've been

380
00:25:57,040 --> 00:26:03,000
really like, kind of not, not stuck on, but like working on with clients a lot recently,

381
00:26:03,000 --> 00:26:04,000
like working on with myself.

382
00:26:04,000 --> 00:26:10,920
And I think because my process was a lot different, is this like idea of like micro changes, like

383
00:26:10,920 --> 00:26:17,240
you kind of did this like trust fall, like I'm busting out, like you said, and like my

384
00:26:17,240 --> 00:26:24,200
experiences have always been like very slow and like probably like agonizingly slow, right?

385
00:26:24,200 --> 00:26:29,080
Like, which is probably, I don't know, I should probably have leaned into like more of your

386
00:26:29,080 --> 00:26:35,400
vibe at times in my life, but like just that like really slow, like making micro changes

387
00:26:35,400 --> 00:26:38,080
along the way.

388
00:26:38,080 --> 00:26:43,660
But I think like something that I've noticed and like, I don't, I keep going back to human

389
00:26:43,660 --> 00:26:49,080
design today is like when I get in that state of like bitterness, complete burnout, like

390
00:26:49,080 --> 00:26:50,960
feeling totally bitter.

391
00:26:50,960 --> 00:26:56,020
And so like in the same way, it's kind of like, maybe not a complete rock bottom or

392
00:26:56,020 --> 00:27:02,040
anything like that, but just like, just like major anxiety, depression, complete burnout,

393
00:27:02,040 --> 00:27:05,140
just like no energy.

394
00:27:05,140 --> 00:27:10,680
And then having to like just kind of slowly crawl out of that, making like really small

395
00:27:10,680 --> 00:27:13,260
changes along the way.

396
00:27:13,260 --> 00:27:21,480
And I have a lot of clients I've been talking about that idea lately too, right?

397
00:27:21,480 --> 00:27:26,200
Like, and I think I just did a post about it too, like it's easier on our nervous system

398
00:27:26,200 --> 00:27:31,040
to do like these small micro changes, but it sounds like in your case, Quinlan, like

399
00:27:31,040 --> 00:27:33,600
you didn't really even have that option.

400
00:27:33,600 --> 00:27:38,500
Like you were just like kind of pushed out of the out of the nest of whatever situations

401
00:27:38,500 --> 00:27:41,200
you were in.

402
00:27:41,200 --> 00:27:44,360
And I'm sure if I could think back to some time that happened, I mean, like moving to

403
00:27:44,360 --> 00:27:47,480
New York city, it's like, obviously I didn't take my time with that.

404
00:27:47,480 --> 00:27:54,680
It was like, you just had to get up and go, but yeah, I don't know.

405
00:27:54,680 --> 00:27:57,120
I'll connect that back to your astrology too.

406
00:27:57,120 --> 00:28:04,720
That's very, that's very like, let's like, what's the word?

407
00:28:04,720 --> 00:28:06,760
You're assessing for risk, right?

408
00:28:06,760 --> 00:28:07,760
Yeah.

409
00:28:07,760 --> 00:28:16,200
Like the planning and really incremental strategic moves and total that makes perfect sense.

410
00:28:16,200 --> 00:28:20,800
And with my Scorpio and dad, just like death, rebirth action.

411
00:28:20,800 --> 00:28:23,040
Oh my God.

412
00:28:23,040 --> 00:28:24,040
Yeah.

413
00:28:24,040 --> 00:28:29,280
I'm like only jumping off the nine meter diving board, like never jumping off the pool level

414
00:28:29,280 --> 00:28:30,280
diving board.

415
00:28:30,280 --> 00:28:31,280
So funny.

416
00:28:31,280 --> 00:28:36,240
I mean, and that's like, there's obviously no right or wrong way, right?

417
00:28:36,240 --> 00:28:40,440
Like it's just what feels like the right way to go about it.

418
00:28:40,440 --> 00:28:45,920
I'm probably connecting with like a lot of clients that have like a similar approach,

419
00:28:45,920 --> 00:28:53,920
like to really slowly like kind of meticulously, but that's hard for change though.

420
00:28:53,920 --> 00:29:02,000
I wonder if your micro changes are strategic for you.

421
00:29:02,000 --> 00:29:07,960
You can control those micro changes and then the big pushes just happen for you.

422
00:29:07,960 --> 00:29:17,120
I think for me, I like pushed into, or like I leaned into the bigger changes and then

423
00:29:17,120 --> 00:29:22,640
I have to choose my micro changes a little less naturally.

424
00:29:22,640 --> 00:29:24,440
It does happen.

425
00:29:24,440 --> 00:29:25,440
Yeah.

426
00:29:25,440 --> 00:29:26,440
Okay.

427
00:29:26,440 --> 00:29:29,680
I was going to say like the approaches you're kind of like with the micro changes, you're

428
00:29:29,680 --> 00:29:33,560
kind of front end loading your attitude adjustment.

429
00:29:33,560 --> 00:29:37,920
Whereas when you take the deep jumps, because like I'm more of a jumper as I'm a lot of

430
00:29:37,920 --> 00:29:44,680
a jumper and the consequence and like not that it's good or bad is that the consequences

431
00:29:44,680 --> 00:29:53,040
you take five minutes to make a decision and you spend three years adjusting to it and

432
00:29:53,040 --> 00:29:56,240
becoming the person, instead of three years, maybe it's whatever the timeframe is, but

433
00:29:56,240 --> 00:30:02,600
you spend your longer time after making the jump integrating the person you become.

434
00:30:02,600 --> 00:30:06,080
This is so funny Lauren, because now like when you said that I was like, oh my God,

435
00:30:06,080 --> 00:30:07,840
I'm flipped.

436
00:30:07,840 --> 00:30:12,000
I take three years planning it and then five minutes to do it once I'm like fucking ready

437
00:30:12,000 --> 00:30:13,000
for it.

438
00:30:13,000 --> 00:30:14,000
Exactly.

439
00:30:14,000 --> 00:30:15,000
Exactly.

440
00:30:15,000 --> 00:30:16,000
We have the jumpers and the planners.

441
00:30:16,000 --> 00:30:17,000
Yeah.

442
00:30:17,000 --> 00:30:18,000
That's a great way of explaining it.

443
00:30:18,000 --> 00:30:19,000
Yeah.

444
00:30:19,000 --> 00:30:20,000
Yeah.

445
00:30:20,000 --> 00:30:21,000
That's for sure.

446
00:30:21,000 --> 00:30:26,320
You know, I think there's also another component there with when it comes to change that we

447
00:30:26,320 --> 00:30:28,280
put so much pressure on time.

448
00:30:28,280 --> 00:30:31,680
You know, how much time is this going to take for me to change?

449
00:30:31,680 --> 00:30:34,960
When am I going to get to the outcome that I'm seeking?

450
00:30:34,960 --> 00:30:40,080
And we're so focused on the end goal that we forget the importance of the journey, whether

451
00:30:40,080 --> 00:30:46,480
we're like a planner or a jumper and either way things are going to work out in divine

452
00:30:46,480 --> 00:30:49,080
timing as they're supposed to.

453
00:30:49,080 --> 00:30:53,320
And we can in some ways accelerate that and then we can also slow it down based on where

454
00:30:53,320 --> 00:30:58,320
we are in our growth and in our readiness and in the lessons that we're learning.

455
00:30:58,320 --> 00:31:03,520
But ultimately we're still on the path and anything that is continuously moving us forward,

456
00:31:03,520 --> 00:31:08,320
whether that's in those big jumps or in those small ways is forward movement.

457
00:31:08,320 --> 00:31:14,280
And there's so much beauty and power in that, that we can't forget about that part.

458
00:31:14,280 --> 00:31:15,280
Yeah.

459
00:31:15,280 --> 00:31:16,280
I completely agree.

460
00:31:16,280 --> 00:31:23,200
I was taking some of your advice, Anastasia, about listening to Abraham Hicks.

461
00:31:23,200 --> 00:31:24,200
Oh yeah.

462
00:31:24,200 --> 00:31:25,200
Big change.

463
00:31:25,200 --> 00:31:30,800
I've had some Abraham Hicks playing as I'm going to bed lately and there was one the

464
00:31:30,800 --> 00:31:35,040
other day where, oh fuck, I'm going to totally forget what she said.

465
00:31:35,040 --> 00:31:40,760
But the fuck, come on, come back to me.

466
00:31:40,760 --> 00:31:44,560
Oh, it was so juicy.

467
00:31:44,560 --> 00:31:46,560
No, it's gone.

468
00:31:46,560 --> 00:31:47,560
Okay, well.

469
00:31:47,560 --> 00:31:48,560
Something with Abraham.

470
00:31:48,560 --> 00:31:49,560
Oh, I got it.

471
00:31:49,560 --> 00:31:50,560
It's back.

472
00:31:50,560 --> 00:31:51,560
It's back.

473
00:31:51,560 --> 00:32:00,080
So the idea that like, we have this idea that like desires are only valuable once you have

474
00:32:00,080 --> 00:32:02,440
them, once they're completed.

475
00:32:02,440 --> 00:32:09,320
And that like part of being human is actually the choice, is actually not having your desires

476
00:32:09,320 --> 00:32:15,520
and not having your desires is equally as important as having your desires because it

477
00:32:15,520 --> 00:32:21,280
means you're alive and you're doing the things and you're experiencing and it's all like

478
00:32:21,280 --> 00:32:23,600
this beautiful unfolding, right?

479
00:32:23,600 --> 00:32:30,960
And so the, something just hit me today as I was walking is that like my insecurities

480
00:32:30,960 --> 00:32:33,880
and those voices in my head that are like, you'll never get this done and you'll never

481
00:32:33,880 --> 00:32:39,320
do it are literally the signpost saying you haven't got your desire yet.

482
00:32:39,320 --> 00:32:42,240
And how beautiful is that?

483
00:32:42,240 --> 00:32:45,680
Because it means that I'm in the pursuit of something I love and it means that I'm in

484
00:32:45,680 --> 00:32:54,280
that lane of, of actively bringing more love and joy and happiness into my life.

485
00:32:54,280 --> 00:32:59,840
And I say love and joy and happiness as in like, I, as a generator, I am the most happy

486
00:32:59,840 --> 00:33:02,760
when I am doing the things that bring me joy.

487
00:33:02,760 --> 00:33:08,040
And so like when I'm writing, when I'm recording a podcast, when I'm like doing the things

488
00:33:08,040 --> 00:33:13,480
that inspire those feelings, I'm in the pursuit of my desires.

489
00:33:13,480 --> 00:33:20,880
I'm in that state of happiness and that is like, that's the, that's the fucking magic.

490
00:33:20,880 --> 00:33:22,880
That's the point of it, right?

491
00:33:22,880 --> 00:33:23,880
Yeah.

492
00:33:23,880 --> 00:33:27,440
It was a fucking moment.

493
00:33:27,440 --> 00:33:28,440
I love that.

494
00:33:28,440 --> 00:33:29,440
I love that.

495
00:33:29,440 --> 00:33:30,440
Yeah.

496
00:33:30,440 --> 00:33:41,200
And the, I think when most people hear desires, they think of things like they need a job

497
00:33:41,200 --> 00:33:49,400
or a partner or a, you know, tangible object, whatever, like if I need that thing or when

498
00:33:49,400 --> 00:33:55,640
I love that you brought that back to it's the joy and the love and the like book is

499
00:33:55,640 --> 00:33:57,280
that the Y right?

500
00:33:57,280 --> 00:33:59,640
That's, that's what you're really chasing.

501
00:33:59,640 --> 00:34:03,360
The other thing is the strategy to get you there.

502
00:34:03,360 --> 00:34:09,040
And I think when people lose that or can't find that thought process, if you don't look

503
00:34:09,040 --> 00:34:16,520
into it a little bit deeper, you'll just continue chasing and chasing like without real purpose.

504
00:34:16,520 --> 00:34:20,680
So the fact that you know that purpose, if you know what that's bringing you, I think

505
00:34:20,680 --> 00:34:23,560
that's like the golden ticket.

506
00:34:23,560 --> 00:34:26,920
That's beautiful.

507
00:34:26,920 --> 00:34:32,920
And this is on topic, but off topic, but you know, surrounding things like manifestation,

508
00:34:32,920 --> 00:34:38,880
since we're kind of chatting about this, you know, something that I had a potent realization

509
00:34:38,880 --> 00:34:45,560
around just only a couple of months ago was that, you know, I was chasing the wrong things

510
00:34:45,560 --> 00:34:46,940
for me.

511
00:34:46,940 --> 00:34:51,680
So oftentimes, you know, you talk about all these, like the desires that we have and it's

512
00:34:51,680 --> 00:34:58,320
like that it's often the things that we want or like the partner, the cars are like the

513
00:34:58,320 --> 00:35:04,200
certain amounts of money or all of these things when really, especially for us as women, what

514
00:35:04,200 --> 00:35:09,800
we really want is the change in feeling, you know, you know, when we're manifesting things

515
00:35:09,800 --> 00:35:14,920
and when we're, when we're growing in life and in business and all of these different

516
00:35:14,920 --> 00:35:22,800
areas, you know, we, we try to put these material manifestations at the, as part of the end

517
00:35:22,800 --> 00:35:26,780
goal, like, Oh, when I have this, that means I did good.

518
00:35:26,780 --> 00:35:29,660
Or when I, when I reached this point, that means I did good.

519
00:35:29,660 --> 00:35:33,240
But when we're, when we bring that joy back in, like you were saying, Lauren, but then

520
00:35:33,240 --> 00:35:38,980
also look at will my life actually be very much different outwardly?

521
00:35:38,980 --> 00:35:39,980
Is that what I want?

522
00:35:39,980 --> 00:35:41,400
And if it is, that's great.

523
00:35:41,400 --> 00:35:45,960
But I know for myself, I was chasing like more of the material things for a while because

524
00:35:45,960 --> 00:35:51,480
I felt like success had to equal a different material look on my life.

525
00:35:51,480 --> 00:35:55,840
But really my life in everything that I'm working towards, it's not going to look very

526
00:35:55,840 --> 00:35:58,340
different, but it'll feel different.

527
00:35:58,340 --> 00:36:02,640
So what really I'm looking for those feelings within myself, like that feeling of freedom,

528
00:36:02,640 --> 00:36:09,400
that feeling of more expansiveness and joy and, and deeper service towards others and,

529
00:36:09,400 --> 00:36:15,720
you know, bringing joy into even more like organic vegetables that I get to buy or like

530
00:36:15,720 --> 00:36:19,760
anything that I get to support myself, but outwardly my life's not going to look different.

531
00:36:19,760 --> 00:36:24,840
And it doesn't have to, like, I'm still going to go thrifting, like super duper successful

532
00:36:24,840 --> 00:36:26,120
because I love it.

533
00:36:26,120 --> 00:36:33,720
So where can we expand that love and joy even in what we're wanting as well as the journey?

534
00:36:33,720 --> 00:36:45,760
Yeah, it's so easy to, to like, right, like you said, like, feel like you're only going

535
00:36:45,760 --> 00:36:49,040
to experience that when you reach it.

536
00:36:49,040 --> 00:36:55,280
And I'm like having these thoughts about like, what, at least in my experience was like pushing

537
00:36:55,280 --> 00:37:04,280
me out of where I was into where I am now was the opposite feelings, right?

538
00:37:04,280 --> 00:37:06,960
Like the opposite feelings of what I was trying to achieve.

539
00:37:06,960 --> 00:37:12,360
And so it's like, if you're, if you're able to identify like what you do want to feel

540
00:37:12,360 --> 00:37:15,320
or what, if you know what you don't want, right?

541
00:37:15,320 --> 00:37:17,720
That can help you figure out what you do want.

542
00:37:17,720 --> 00:37:22,040
Like it sounds so simple, but a lot of times people don't even know it's like, well, what

543
00:37:22,040 --> 00:37:23,920
do you, you know, what do you want?

544
00:37:23,920 --> 00:37:27,360
It's like, they only know what they don't want.

545
00:37:27,360 --> 00:37:31,320
And they're not able to identify what, what they do want.

546
00:37:31,320 --> 00:37:35,680
And it's, yeah, I don't know.

547
00:37:35,680 --> 00:37:40,080
I've noticed that a lot, a lot with people.

548
00:37:40,080 --> 00:37:46,240
I think when we get too caught up in everything that we don't want and the struggle and like

549
00:37:46,240 --> 00:37:52,200
the, the harder times of life, we stop dreaming a lot of the time.

550
00:37:52,200 --> 00:37:58,040
And when we stop dreaming and really feeling into what gives us joy, what, like, what do

551
00:37:58,040 --> 00:38:04,320
we love to play in what like sparks our creativity and all, and all of these feelings, that's

552
00:38:04,320 --> 00:38:06,200
when we become really disconnected.

553
00:38:06,200 --> 00:38:11,240
And we're so focused on that, what we don't want that we can't even tune into anymore.

554
00:38:11,240 --> 00:38:17,400
What we do want, because that dream feels so far away and so unattainable that like,

555
00:38:17,400 --> 00:38:19,400
how can we even put ourselves into that?

556
00:38:19,400 --> 00:38:23,920
Or how can we even imagine what it feels like to be healthy again, or what it feels like

557
00:38:23,920 --> 00:38:30,200
to be truly happy again, or loved again, or whatever it is that we're craving?

558
00:38:30,200 --> 00:38:33,000
So yeah.

559
00:38:33,000 --> 00:38:35,640
Like really identifying with the struggle.

560
00:38:35,640 --> 00:38:41,520
Yeah, I would argue that when you're in that survival mode, it's not that you stop dreaming.

561
00:38:41,520 --> 00:38:45,960
It's that the dream almost becomes like you're watching a TV show.

562
00:38:45,960 --> 00:38:48,480
And like, it's not like when you're watching a TV show in real life, it's not like you're

563
00:38:48,480 --> 00:38:51,400
going to jump into the TV and like take part with the characters.

564
00:38:51,400 --> 00:38:53,200
It's very out there.

565
00:38:53,200 --> 00:38:58,360
And so in those moments where you're in those periods, when you're in that total survival

566
00:38:58,360 --> 00:39:02,320
mode, to me, it feels like your dream is on the TV.

567
00:39:02,320 --> 00:39:03,320
It's not active.

568
00:39:03,320 --> 00:39:07,800
It's not whatever, because there is a belief that it's not possible to believe that you're

569
00:39:07,800 --> 00:39:09,880
not a part of it, right.

570
00:39:09,880 --> 00:39:17,960
And so when the when that dream really becomes like a cloud, or like you're in it, if you're

571
00:39:17,960 --> 00:39:22,720
on set, you're doing the things, that's when it really, I think, gives you the permission

572
00:39:22,720 --> 00:39:25,520
to know what you're moving towards.

573
00:39:25,520 --> 00:39:26,520
Because there's that distance.

574
00:39:26,520 --> 00:39:32,320
And to me, it's like square thinking versus circular thinking.

575
00:39:32,320 --> 00:39:36,720
I noticed when I spent too much time in my analytical brain, or too much time on the

576
00:39:36,720 --> 00:39:41,360
literal computer and stuff like that, like my thinking starts to become so square.

577
00:39:41,360 --> 00:39:43,480
That's not like a weird way to describe it.

578
00:39:43,480 --> 00:39:49,400
But like, it becomes so linear, whereas when I go outside, or when I go for a walk, or

579
00:39:49,400 --> 00:39:54,520
you're like looking after you're doing something creative, your thinking starts to web out

580
00:39:54,520 --> 00:40:01,040
and it starts to become more spirallic and more open and creative and that kind of thing,

581
00:40:01,040 --> 00:40:02,040
right.

582
00:40:02,040 --> 00:40:05,520
And so it becomes more engaging, it brings things towards you as opposed to seeing things

583
00:40:05,520 --> 00:40:06,520
separate.

584
00:40:06,520 --> 00:40:10,920
So I don't think the dreaming stops, I think that you're distant from the dream and that

585
00:40:10,920 --> 00:40:13,840
kind of sense of hopefulness changes.

586
00:40:13,840 --> 00:40:17,160
And I think, you know, we're going to bring that back to human design.

587
00:40:17,160 --> 00:40:18,880
It's how much do you feel it in your body?

588
00:40:18,880 --> 00:40:19,880
Yeah.

589
00:40:19,880 --> 00:40:20,880
Right.

590
00:40:20,880 --> 00:40:23,480
Yeah, yeah, I agree with that.

591
00:40:23,480 --> 00:40:32,720
Even so much on a very literal neurological level, when you're so used to defaulting to

592
00:40:32,720 --> 00:40:37,800
what is what I don't like, right, like you're avoiding those feelings that you don't like,

593
00:40:37,800 --> 00:40:41,800
like those neural pathways are strong, it's like, nope, we don't want that, we don't want

594
00:40:41,800 --> 00:40:42,800
that, we don't want that.

595
00:40:42,800 --> 00:40:44,640
It's like a safety mechanism.

596
00:40:44,640 --> 00:40:49,680
And I love that you bring up when you get outside, when you change your environment,

597
00:40:49,680 --> 00:40:54,840
like you're literally disrupting those patterns and it gives your brain the freedom to break

598
00:40:54,840 --> 00:40:59,200
away from what you're so used to, like it's default roads.

599
00:40:59,200 --> 00:41:04,280
Like I love the comparison between like a dirt road, a really, really weak neural pathway

600
00:41:04,280 --> 00:41:05,280
versus a highway.

601
00:41:05,280 --> 00:41:09,520
We know exactly how to find what we're afraid of and sometimes we don't really know how

602
00:41:09,520 --> 00:41:12,280
to get to that thing that we want.

603
00:41:12,280 --> 00:41:18,160
And that takes work, like that takes very intentional, very intentional shift to get

604
00:41:18,160 --> 00:41:20,160
your brain into that state.

605
00:41:20,160 --> 00:41:25,920
And I think that's just how a lot of us are programmed, unfortunately.

606
00:41:25,920 --> 00:41:26,920
Yeah.

607
00:41:26,920 --> 00:41:33,360
There's this, there's so many different cycles, right?

608
00:41:33,360 --> 00:41:39,960
Like cycles of abuse, cycles of, you know, all sorts of other things that we get stuck

609
00:41:39,960 --> 00:41:48,360
looping in because it's like scarier to take that dirt path as you're saying, Quimley.

610
00:41:48,360 --> 00:41:54,360
Well, and how many of us were raised, and maybe all of you, but like how many of us

611
00:41:54,360 --> 00:42:00,360
were raised to seek out joy just for the sake of joy or just to do things that we like,

612
00:42:00,360 --> 00:42:01,360
right?

613
00:42:01,360 --> 00:42:02,360
It was don't, don't.

614
00:42:02,360 --> 00:42:03,360
That's bad.

615
00:42:03,360 --> 00:42:04,360
That'll hurt you.

616
00:42:04,360 --> 00:42:05,360
That's not good.

617
00:42:05,360 --> 00:42:07,360
That's, you know, we had to figure that out for ourselves.

618
00:42:07,360 --> 00:42:08,840
Like, oh shit, I don't like that.

619
00:42:08,840 --> 00:42:10,840
There's no one here to protect me.

620
00:42:10,840 --> 00:42:15,400
Like it's, makes sense.

621
00:42:15,400 --> 00:42:21,640
One of the stories I grew up with was, there was a lot of judgment in my home growing up.

622
00:42:21,640 --> 00:42:26,920
And the, one of the major judgments that I witnessed and was able to take on myself for

623
00:42:26,920 --> 00:42:31,560
a while was if I can't do it matching backwards and high heels, you should not be doing it

624
00:42:31,560 --> 00:42:32,560
at all.

625
00:42:32,560 --> 00:42:34,000
And so watch it.

626
00:42:34,000 --> 00:42:38,960
So then really there's no space to be a beginner.

627
00:42:38,960 --> 00:42:41,600
There's no space to try anything out.

628
00:42:41,600 --> 00:42:47,320
There's no space to honor following your gut path because everything has to be planned

629
00:42:47,320 --> 00:42:51,400
and perfect and polished from day one.

630
00:42:51,400 --> 00:42:58,320
And so that was definitely a big aha moments to realize, oh no, I can just like play in

631
00:42:58,320 --> 00:42:59,320
the mud.

632
00:42:59,320 --> 00:43:03,280
Like I can just do shit and figure things out.

633
00:43:03,280 --> 00:43:07,640
And this is right for me and break into that.

634
00:43:07,640 --> 00:43:13,800
And I know with the away and towards motivated in NLP, they consider that to be one of your

635
00:43:13,800 --> 00:43:15,280
like default settings.

636
00:43:15,280 --> 00:43:18,880
There's a group of things that in NLP they called meta programs.

637
00:43:18,880 --> 00:43:21,140
And it's kind of just like the way you see the world.

638
00:43:21,140 --> 00:43:25,720
Another example of one of the meta programs is how many times does it take for you to

639
00:43:25,720 --> 00:43:31,560
see like change behavior in someone in order for you to believe that it has actually changed

640
00:43:31,560 --> 00:43:39,080
or essentially how many chances would you give somebody before you cut them off, right?

641
00:43:39,080 --> 00:43:40,280
That's another like meta program.

642
00:43:40,280 --> 00:43:43,400
Some people are like one and done, we're done forever.

643
00:43:43,400 --> 00:43:46,240
Some people will give you a thousand chances before they cut you off.

644
00:43:46,240 --> 00:43:50,280
And that like away and towards motivated is considered that same category where you're

645
00:43:50,280 --> 00:43:53,960
either just away motivated or you're just towards motivated.

646
00:43:53,960 --> 00:44:01,040
And in order to switch that paradigm, there's a lot of like conscious exercises and conscious

647
00:44:01,040 --> 00:44:05,600
rewiring that has to happen as you were saying, Quimlin.

648
00:44:05,600 --> 00:44:10,720
I think too, looping back to Abraham Hicks and the neural pathways, something that I

649
00:44:10,720 --> 00:44:17,280
used at the very beginning of my journey was Abraham Hicks because I was very much in a

650
00:44:17,280 --> 00:44:24,080
lack mindset, scarcity, like fear, victimhood and like every, all of my thoughts when I

651
00:44:24,080 --> 00:44:31,680
looked at them, they were very negative, very like heavy disheartening, like disempowering

652
00:44:31,680 --> 00:44:36,760
and using something like Abraham Hicks, I would listen to it for hours on repeat.

653
00:44:36,760 --> 00:44:41,440
Anytime I was driving anywhere, I would throw on those audios and what it allowed me to

654
00:44:41,440 --> 00:44:47,640
do was interrupt those stronger neural pathways of those like victimhood and the heavy thoughts

655
00:44:47,640 --> 00:44:52,640
and beliefs and the mindset that I carried and form a new one because literally I could

656
00:44:52,640 --> 00:44:56,560
not have a negative thought when I was listening to this.

657
00:44:56,560 --> 00:45:02,240
And I listened to it as much as possible until this new neural pathway over here got stronger

658
00:45:02,240 --> 00:45:05,720
and stronger and then became my primary pathway.

659
00:45:05,720 --> 00:45:09,960
And this one is like a tiny little dirt road, it's really overgrown now.

660
00:45:09,960 --> 00:45:13,760
Once in a while I try to venture down it, but it's so much easier for me to come back

661
00:45:13,760 --> 00:45:16,240
to this new one that's very positive.

662
00:45:16,240 --> 00:45:20,400
And when you use tools like that, it is so helpful whether it's listening to something,

663
00:45:20,400 --> 00:45:25,440
whether it is throwing on music, whether it's changing your physical environment, whether

664
00:45:25,440 --> 00:45:29,880
it's using a script you write out for yourself every time you catch like a pain or a thought

665
00:45:29,880 --> 00:45:33,840
pattern or something coming up, those are really, really potent tools.

666
00:45:33,840 --> 00:45:41,600
Oh my gosh, I want to run that back like louder for the people in the back.

667
00:45:41,600 --> 00:45:45,240
We don't think about that so much, the things that we're consuming, the choices that we're

668
00:45:45,240 --> 00:45:49,000
making, our environment, the people we spend time with, what we're scrolling through.

669
00:45:49,000 --> 00:45:55,600
I mean, it's just, it's contributing everything that you just said and to realize that you

670
00:45:55,600 --> 00:45:58,840
have the power to shift all of that.

671
00:45:58,840 --> 00:46:02,600
You have the power to shift not just your mindset, but your physiology.

672
00:46:02,600 --> 00:46:06,240
This is a very legitimate thing.

673
00:46:06,240 --> 00:46:12,480
That's half the reason why I take a cold bath or a nice bath every day.

674
00:46:12,480 --> 00:46:19,320
It's that idea of just, we're going to make decisions that help us feel good on a really

675
00:46:19,320 --> 00:46:20,320
simple basis.

676
00:46:20,320 --> 00:46:22,520
And so we're going to listen to things that make us feel good.

677
00:46:22,520 --> 00:46:24,560
We're going to set goals that make us feel good.

678
00:46:24,560 --> 00:46:30,120
We're going to, it's all of those choices that when you realize you have the autonomy

679
00:46:30,120 --> 00:46:34,640
to improve this day to day life, it's game over.

680
00:46:34,640 --> 00:46:37,000
You'll be your whole new person after that.

681
00:46:37,000 --> 00:46:39,280
Or I should say game started.

682
00:46:39,280 --> 00:46:40,280
I don't know.

683
00:46:40,280 --> 00:46:41,280
Game on.

684
00:46:41,280 --> 00:46:42,280
Yeah.

685
00:46:42,280 --> 00:46:43,280
Game on.

686
00:46:43,280 --> 00:46:46,800
I think it feels so hard at first, right?

687
00:46:46,800 --> 00:46:51,120
But then using the cold bath, you start doing it.

688
00:46:51,120 --> 00:46:55,680
It was probably so much harder the first week than it is now.

689
00:46:55,680 --> 00:46:57,360
And that's the same for anything.

690
00:46:57,360 --> 00:47:03,760
You can just continue spinning that web and they all start connecting together.

691
00:47:03,760 --> 00:47:10,040
And so it's like you can add on one thing and then in your mind, subconsciously or consciously

692
00:47:10,040 --> 00:47:13,160
or both, you know, like, oh, I can do hard things.

693
00:47:13,160 --> 00:47:14,160
I'm resilient.

694
00:47:14,160 --> 00:47:17,000
I have that plasticity in my brain to continue.

695
00:47:17,000 --> 00:47:20,120
Oh, I did the cold plunge thing.

696
00:47:20,120 --> 00:47:24,200
I can do this in my job or this with my partner or whatever.

697
00:47:24,200 --> 00:47:27,000
It just grows from there.

698
00:47:27,000 --> 00:47:30,560
There's no limit to how many pathways we can have.

699
00:47:30,560 --> 00:47:36,840
So we can just keep getting them stronger and wider.

700
00:47:36,840 --> 00:47:41,360
And so not only do you know that you can do hard things because you just showed yourself

701
00:47:41,360 --> 00:47:51,880
that you can, but you set yourself up with so much like your internal dialogue improves.

702
00:47:51,880 --> 00:47:54,560
And not to mention you have dopamine now kicking you in the ass.

703
00:47:54,560 --> 00:47:57,760
It's like, oh, we didn't like that, but now I really like that.

704
00:47:57,760 --> 00:48:05,320
And then it motivates you in a much more constructive way for to strive for that delayed gratification.

705
00:48:05,320 --> 00:48:08,320
Like it's not it's not going to eat really.

706
00:48:08,320 --> 00:48:12,240
I mean, eat a pint of Ben and Jerry's and it'll feel really good now, but I'll feel like

707
00:48:12,240 --> 00:48:13,240
shit later.

708
00:48:13,240 --> 00:48:16,240
Even though we all do that on occasion.

709
00:48:16,240 --> 00:48:20,280
But, you know, I'm going to be uncomfortable now and feel really good later.

710
00:48:20,280 --> 00:48:25,400
So like setting that up, you get not only your internal dialogue that improves, but

711
00:48:25,400 --> 00:48:27,520
your body says, oh yeah, no, we do.

712
00:48:27,520 --> 00:48:28,720
We're going to work for this.

713
00:48:28,720 --> 00:48:32,800
We know how to do this now in a healthier way.

714
00:48:32,800 --> 00:48:36,680
And to like, I'm feeling like to pull the body into it too.

715
00:48:36,680 --> 00:48:40,640
Like we're talking a lot about like the brain and like thoughts and language, but like,

716
00:48:40,640 --> 00:48:46,720
I mean, I keep going to the cold plunge, but like that is bringing the body into that change

717
00:48:46,720 --> 00:48:52,040
too, like we need both the mind and the body to like be on board for those things.

718
00:48:52,040 --> 00:48:57,880
And I don't know, maybe whatever you guys think about this, like, I don't know which

719
00:48:57,880 --> 00:49:00,520
comes first if they both go together.

720
00:49:00,520 --> 00:49:04,040
I don't know if it matters, right?

721
00:49:04,040 --> 00:49:09,560
But like, I think maybe some people, they probably lead with their mind and the body

722
00:49:09,560 --> 00:49:10,560
follows.

723
00:49:10,560 --> 00:49:14,880
Well, it's just, you know, it's like top down approaches to therapy or like bottom up approaches

724
00:49:14,880 --> 00:49:15,880
to therapy.

725
00:49:15,880 --> 00:49:18,920
Like both are valid.

726
00:49:18,920 --> 00:49:23,840
I lean more towards like a bottom up approach, which is like body first, like somatic, like

727
00:49:23,840 --> 00:49:31,720
not, if you've seen my page, you see like my whole shtick is like talk therapy is like,

728
00:49:31,720 --> 00:49:34,720
not really, but like, you know, I like, that's kind of the shtick, right?

729
00:49:34,720 --> 00:49:37,340
Like sometimes talk therapy doesn't work for people.

730
00:49:37,340 --> 00:49:41,440
We have to have both on board.

731
00:49:41,440 --> 00:49:44,960
And so I prefer like the body first, right?

732
00:49:44,960 --> 00:49:52,560
Like we can think our way through things and, but making sure that we're bringing the somatic

733
00:49:52,560 --> 00:49:58,080
experiencing of it into the picture.

734
00:49:58,080 --> 00:50:02,600
Because if we want to make a change, we can think about making the change and then take

735
00:50:02,600 --> 00:50:03,600
those steps.

736
00:50:03,600 --> 00:50:07,600
But if our body's like, oh, fuck no, we're gonna, it's stronger, right?

737
00:50:07,600 --> 00:50:12,600
Like I have a couple of therapy friends that say this all the time and I like it.

738
00:50:12,600 --> 00:50:17,080
It's like the mind is a monkey, the body's a baby.

739
00:50:17,080 --> 00:50:18,400
And it's like, right?

740
00:50:18,400 --> 00:50:20,960
Like the, I see your face.

741
00:50:20,960 --> 00:50:22,680
Like, yeah, it's like, right?

742
00:50:22,680 --> 00:50:28,040
If our, if our mind tries to take the steps, but the body's like, I'm out of here, then

743
00:50:28,040 --> 00:50:29,920
we're going to go that way.

744
00:50:29,920 --> 00:50:30,920
Um, yeah.

745
00:50:30,920 --> 00:50:40,440
I think too, definitely for myself, the, as I say for myself, I know that the building

746
00:50:40,440 --> 00:50:44,200
trust has been the thing that has got my body on board.

747
00:50:44,200 --> 00:50:49,480
And any instance, I, any instance where I have followed my intuition, which I believe

748
00:50:49,480 --> 00:50:54,480
comes from the body, um, that trust is cumulative.

749
00:50:54,480 --> 00:50:58,240
And so anytime, and sometimes it's really dumb shit.

750
00:50:58,240 --> 00:51:02,080
Like when I'm driving home, end of the day, I'm going to turn left at this spot that feels

751
00:51:02,080 --> 00:51:05,240
like I should turn left at when I would normally go straight.

752
00:51:05,240 --> 00:51:08,840
Like even those little tiny moments where you're following that, like, Ooh, this is

753
00:51:08,840 --> 00:51:10,600
fun of the intuition.

754
00:51:10,600 --> 00:51:12,760
Um, it builds that trust.

755
00:51:12,760 --> 00:51:19,600
And so then once that builds slowly over time, I think for myself, lots of those like pattern

756
00:51:19,600 --> 00:51:26,560
changes, thinking of the cold plunges as like a broader template for habit changes in general.

757
00:51:26,560 --> 00:51:31,720
Um, cause I think habits are something that gets stored in the body and as a really good

758
00:51:31,720 --> 00:51:36,360
like kind of marker for whether your brain and your body are on the same page.

759
00:51:36,360 --> 00:51:41,760
And so when you're able to implement a new habit and maintain it over a period of time,

760
00:51:41,760 --> 00:51:45,640
that would be a marker to me that like your brain and your body are on a similar page

761
00:51:45,640 --> 00:51:48,560
because you're able to make changes and maintain those changes.

762
00:51:48,560 --> 00:51:51,800
Whereas like when you have to have it and you're like, yeah, we're going, we're going,

763
00:51:51,800 --> 00:51:52,800
we're going.

764
00:51:52,800 --> 00:51:54,160
And then your body's just like, Nope.

765
00:51:54,160 --> 00:51:58,040
And then you get that kind of snap back of like the habits gone or you can't like, don't

766
00:51:58,040 --> 00:51:59,760
want to have no motivation to carry on with it.

767
00:51:59,760 --> 00:52:00,760
And that kind of thing.

768
00:52:00,760 --> 00:52:06,320
Um, you know, you bring anybody in on the same page and those little moments where you

769
00:52:06,320 --> 00:52:09,000
have moments are all cumulative in my opinion.

770
00:52:09,000 --> 00:52:13,120
And then, you know, show you in those small ways that you can trust yourself, your body

771
00:52:13,120 --> 00:52:18,160
can trust where your brain is leading you and you can trust, um, that you're going to

772
00:52:18,160 --> 00:52:20,120
move together on things.

773
00:52:20,120 --> 00:52:25,240
And so then, you know, implementing the pattern like doing a cold plunge every day for me,

774
00:52:25,240 --> 00:52:32,840
it's writing every day, um, that those become more rewarding and, and the, there's a thing

775
00:52:32,840 --> 00:52:38,400
in dopamine nation is a book that talks about, uh, getting like doing these things that are

776
00:52:38,400 --> 00:52:43,600
scary or hard or whatever first, um, attacks on your body first in order to put yourself

777
00:52:43,600 --> 00:52:44,600
in a dopamine deficit.

778
00:52:44,600 --> 00:52:49,080
But your body naturally wants to come back into that afterwards with increased dopamine

779
00:52:49,080 --> 00:52:50,080
afterwards.

780
00:52:50,080 --> 00:52:56,560
Um, and so then you really are using your mind to, to muscle through so that your body

781
00:52:56,560 --> 00:53:03,000
reaps the rewards and then, and that kind of symbiotic back and forth, a reciprocal

782
00:53:03,000 --> 00:53:06,360
nature of the body and the mind working together.

783
00:53:06,360 --> 00:53:12,680
I think to another really important part of, you know, making like doing habit changes

784
00:53:12,680 --> 00:53:18,720
and everything is our motivation and our, um, our expectations of self.

785
00:53:18,720 --> 00:53:22,400
You know, when we are, when we're learning to build that trust in the body and make these

786
00:53:22,400 --> 00:53:28,040
small changes and, and put these habits into place, so many people, and it's not the, not

787
00:53:28,040 --> 00:53:32,320
for everyone obviously, but so many people make the mistake of expecting too much from

788
00:53:32,320 --> 00:53:36,200
themselves where they're like, okay, well I want to run a marathon.

789
00:53:36,200 --> 00:53:40,720
So I'm going to start doing a run every single day this week and they'll keep it up for a

790
00:53:40,720 --> 00:53:44,600
one week, two weeks, maybe three, and then they get taken out.

791
00:53:44,600 --> 00:53:49,880
And then they've now kind of like cemented a failure into their body saying like, okay

792
00:53:49,880 --> 00:53:53,160
body, you were right in the first place, I can't do this.

793
00:53:53,160 --> 00:53:56,160
And then you try again and you keep hitting those same walls.

794
00:53:56,160 --> 00:54:02,360
Whereas if we adjust our expectations to something that is so stupidly easily attainable.

795
00:54:02,360 --> 00:54:05,080
So like, do you want to start running a marathon?

796
00:54:05,080 --> 00:54:08,640
Like start by going for like one 30 minute walk a week.

797
00:54:08,640 --> 00:54:14,360
If you've never gone for like walks every day, like start, start so simple that you're

798
00:54:14,360 --> 00:54:18,760
cementing those wins into your body, that trust into your body.

799
00:54:18,760 --> 00:54:23,880
And then once that feels so easily like easy and attainable, add something in, we'll pay,

800
00:54:23,880 --> 00:54:30,240
well now I've done one walk, so now I'm going to do one walk and one like five minute run.

801
00:54:30,240 --> 00:54:32,320
And if I need to walk during that run, that's fine.

802
00:54:32,320 --> 00:54:35,280
And then you just make it easily attainable.

803
00:54:35,280 --> 00:54:41,360
And this, this way of pacing yourself really lets your body build that deeper trust.

804
00:54:41,360 --> 00:54:46,160
And then the other part of this is bringing in like, what is actually motivating you?

805
00:54:46,160 --> 00:54:52,400
Because we often want to change because something's not working, but then are we continuing to

806
00:54:52,400 --> 00:54:55,720
carry that energy through the reason why we're not changing?

807
00:54:55,720 --> 00:55:00,760
So like using our body and like fitness and stuff as an example, like are you exercising

808
00:55:00,760 --> 00:55:02,280
because you want to lose weight?

809
00:55:02,280 --> 00:55:03,640
Okay, well that's, that's great.

810
00:55:03,640 --> 00:55:06,700
There's nothing wrong with that, but what's the motivation behind it?

811
00:55:06,700 --> 00:55:10,440
Is it because you feel like you're not enough and you're not happy in your body and you

812
00:55:10,440 --> 00:55:12,700
feel weak and all of these things?

813
00:55:12,700 --> 00:55:17,680
So are you going to carry that energy through or are you going to switch it to instead of

814
00:55:17,680 --> 00:55:22,480
like judging myself and beating down on myself because I haven't done enough yet and I'm

815
00:55:22,480 --> 00:55:25,280
not reaching my goal yet and like, I'm not enough.

816
00:55:25,280 --> 00:55:26,800
My body's not enough.

817
00:55:26,800 --> 00:55:29,120
How can I bring that love back in to it?

818
00:55:29,120 --> 00:55:31,040
So can I love my body through this?

819
00:55:31,040 --> 00:55:36,160
Can I exercise because I love my body, because I want to be stronger, because I want more

820
00:55:36,160 --> 00:55:39,340
energy like switching it part way through.

821
00:55:39,340 --> 00:55:44,360
So it's okay to have that kind of more negative motivator at the beginning, but it's not sustainable

822
00:55:44,360 --> 00:55:47,360
in the long term because at some point you're going to fall off.

823
00:55:47,360 --> 00:55:52,840
So you need to be able to switch it over to that positive motivator once you get going

824
00:55:52,840 --> 00:55:56,760
and even better if you can do it before you get going, but at least once you get going

825
00:55:56,760 --> 00:56:02,560
so that it is sustainable over the long term because all of these habits that we're building

826
00:56:02,560 --> 00:56:03,980
are not for short term.

827
00:56:03,980 --> 00:56:08,000
They are for long term because otherwise why are we building them?

828
00:56:08,000 --> 00:56:11,680
So much, yes.

829
00:56:11,680 --> 00:56:12,680
So much, yes.

830
00:56:12,680 --> 00:56:19,200
And I've seen that so frequently in clients trying to shame their way out of these behaviors

831
00:56:19,200 --> 00:56:24,280
that just don't align with them or shame their way out of a mindset, shame their way out

832
00:56:24,280 --> 00:56:26,680
of decision, just shame.

833
00:56:26,680 --> 00:56:30,280
That's such a driving factor.

834
00:56:30,280 --> 00:56:37,600
And like you just said, you carry that through until you realize that it's only going to

835
00:56:37,600 --> 00:56:38,600
drag you down.

836
00:56:38,600 --> 00:56:42,080
Even if you build all of these really healthy habits and you're doing it all out of some

837
00:56:42,080 --> 00:56:45,360
form of self-hatred, it just perpetuates.

838
00:56:45,360 --> 00:56:52,120
I was just going to say, and then you never get the satisfaction at the end if you continue

839
00:56:52,120 --> 00:56:55,080
bringing that chain through.

840
00:56:55,080 --> 00:56:59,600
It's like if you make a million dollars doing something that you hate, then you're just

841
00:56:59,600 --> 00:57:04,760
sad with a million dollars versus you make 20 bucks doing something that you love.

842
00:57:04,760 --> 00:57:07,360
You're like, oh, that's so good.

843
00:57:07,360 --> 00:57:09,560
That's not a satisfaction.

844
00:57:09,560 --> 00:57:10,560
Yeah.

845
00:57:10,560 --> 00:57:11,560
I know.

846
00:57:11,560 --> 00:57:18,600
I think for me, a lot of those voices of the self-hate and the shame really became invisible

847
00:57:18,600 --> 00:57:22,480
in a lot of ways because they were so they permeated so much.

848
00:57:22,480 --> 00:57:28,080
And so I didn't have the self-track in my head being like, oh, you've got to do this

849
00:57:28,080 --> 00:57:31,400
because you suck or you got to do this because you're fat or those kind of things.

850
00:57:31,400 --> 00:57:39,240
It was just so much more this push, push, push, push, push to keep going or to keep whatever

851
00:57:39,240 --> 00:57:43,520
that I would plow myself through a brick wall to get what I thought I wanted.

852
00:57:43,520 --> 00:57:51,640
And it wasn't until I really slowed down that I really fucking slowed down, really went

853
00:57:51,640 --> 00:57:57,840
slower than I ever wanted to or cared to or felt good to go that it let me actually kind

854
00:57:57,840 --> 00:58:02,680
of reorient to that towards motivation and to figure out what I like.

855
00:58:02,680 --> 00:58:08,080
And it's been fucking super captivating because my desires and what I want to do and try and

856
00:58:08,080 --> 00:58:13,640
get out of life and experiment with in life have been going through a major shuffle lately.

857
00:58:13,640 --> 00:58:19,520
And it's been really fun because it really has helped me to see those toward motivated

858
00:58:19,520 --> 00:58:23,120
spot.

859
00:58:23,120 --> 00:58:28,960
And because of that notice where the shame and notice where that kind of self-deprecating

860
00:58:28,960 --> 00:58:39,360
sense was shadowing spots that I didn't realize were in the shade, sort of fascinating experience.

861
00:58:39,360 --> 00:58:41,560
And your body knows too.

862
00:58:41,560 --> 00:58:50,640
I mean, a little bit of my background, I flew through a biochemistry degree, applied to

863
00:58:50,640 --> 00:58:55,680
med school or blew through the MCAT, applied to med school, did all of these things, got

864
00:58:55,680 --> 00:58:56,680
really good grades.

865
00:58:56,680 --> 00:58:57,680
I was so disciplined.

866
00:58:57,680 --> 00:58:58,680
I was so in it.

867
00:58:58,680 --> 00:58:59,680
I was so focused.

868
00:58:59,680 --> 00:59:04,480
And my body was living.

869
00:59:04,480 --> 00:59:10,200
My eating disorder had come back after years of being pretty tempered.

870
00:59:10,200 --> 00:59:11,640
And I was so stressed.

871
00:59:11,640 --> 00:59:18,240
I looked sad and pale and everything in me was just screaming.

872
00:59:18,240 --> 00:59:21,800
But I felt like I had to get this thing.

873
00:59:21,800 --> 00:59:28,240
The drive was to prove my potential to myself, not even necessarily anyone else.

874
00:59:28,240 --> 00:59:34,200
And I just, again, hit that wall of what the hell, the change is here.

875
00:59:34,200 --> 00:59:35,520
You can't do this anymore.

876
00:59:35,520 --> 00:59:37,480
You're going to ruin yourself.

877
00:59:37,480 --> 00:59:40,280
My nervous system had had enough.

878
00:59:40,280 --> 00:59:48,920
And switching from that place of criticism and shame into a much softer learning, I learned

879
00:59:48,920 --> 00:59:54,440
my feminine energy in that period of my life, that's for sure.

880
00:59:54,440 --> 00:59:55,440
But it was exactly that.

881
00:59:55,440 --> 00:59:57,800
I had to switch the motivator.

882
00:59:57,800 --> 01:00:03,000
And then you realize, oh my God, I can do anything that I want, especially those things

883
01:00:03,000 --> 01:00:04,000
that align with me.

884
01:00:04,000 --> 01:00:05,000
That's when it's easy.

885
01:00:05,000 --> 01:00:06,000
That's when it flows.

886
01:00:06,000 --> 01:00:07,000
Yeah.

887
01:00:07,000 --> 01:00:12,720
That's where my mind was starting to go with this conversation too.

888
01:00:12,720 --> 01:00:18,160
We're talking about reaching these goals or bringing these habits into our lives and how

889
01:00:18,160 --> 01:00:20,600
to get from where we are to doing that.

890
01:00:20,600 --> 01:00:26,800
And something that I find super important too is, okay, so you can get to here.

891
01:00:26,800 --> 01:00:30,680
And then if you don't like that, it doesn't mean it was a failure.

892
01:00:30,680 --> 01:00:33,320
It doesn't mean that you chose wrong.

893
01:00:33,320 --> 01:00:36,960
I couldn't quit my job and worked for myself and fucking hated it.

894
01:00:36,960 --> 01:00:38,560
But that's okay.

895
01:00:38,560 --> 01:00:40,660
I learned about myself in the process.

896
01:00:40,660 --> 01:00:43,160
And then I could go apply for jobs another day.

897
01:00:43,160 --> 01:00:44,440
You know what I mean?

898
01:00:44,440 --> 01:00:50,320
It's not a failure to try something and find out you didn't like it after all, or it wasn't

899
01:00:50,320 --> 01:00:53,320
the right thing.

900
01:00:53,320 --> 01:00:57,880
There's so many examples I could give right now, but you guys know what I mean.

901
01:00:57,880 --> 01:00:58,880
Yeah.

902
01:00:58,880 --> 01:01:05,040
And the amount of times now that something that I had done in the past that I hated,

903
01:01:05,040 --> 01:01:09,680
that I quit, that I went in too hard and left just as hard, the amount of times those things

904
01:01:09,680 --> 01:01:15,640
come back and are actually useful in the future, somebody asks a question and I just like,

905
01:01:15,640 --> 01:01:19,880
no shit, because I've been through it, even though it's so far in the dust.

906
01:01:19,880 --> 01:01:24,160
But it never fails to amaze me.

907
01:01:24,160 --> 01:01:30,640
It never fails to amaze me how that stuff always circles back around to help.

908
01:01:30,640 --> 01:01:35,520
You just become like a more depthful, like vivacious person, right?

909
01:01:35,520 --> 01:01:36,520
Yes.

910
01:01:36,520 --> 01:01:37,520
Yes.

911
01:01:37,520 --> 01:01:38,520
Yes.

912
01:01:38,520 --> 01:01:46,280
And the idea that if you feel guilt or shame around having made a decision that was wrong,

913
01:01:46,280 --> 01:01:49,440
we'll just carry with like, you had to learn that lesson.

914
01:01:49,440 --> 01:01:54,280
That kind of situation had to happen so that you could wholeheartedly realize that you

915
01:01:54,280 --> 01:01:56,880
are now where you're supposed to be, like that kind of thing.

916
01:01:56,880 --> 01:01:59,360
Instead of looking back and being like, oh, why did I do that?

917
01:01:59,360 --> 01:02:00,360
I wasted so much time.

918
01:02:00,360 --> 01:02:01,360
You didn't waste any time.

919
01:02:01,360 --> 01:02:06,280
You got to where you are now and here's the beautiful reality that you wouldn't know about

920
01:02:06,280 --> 01:02:07,280
it.

921
01:02:07,280 --> 01:02:08,280
Yeah.

922
01:02:08,280 --> 01:02:12,960
You can always pick up and do it again.

923
01:02:12,960 --> 01:02:16,960
You can always change from your changes.

924
01:02:16,960 --> 01:02:17,960
Yes.

925
01:02:17,960 --> 01:02:19,960
Okay.

926
01:02:19,960 --> 01:02:23,160
So one last question for all you fabulous ladies.

927
01:02:23,160 --> 01:02:29,680
What is one thing that you are towards motivated that you're embracing in your life, whether

928
01:02:29,680 --> 01:02:32,680
you're jumping or planning for it?

929
01:02:32,680 --> 01:02:34,680
What is one thing you're going towards right now?

930
01:02:34,680 --> 01:02:35,960
I'm happy to say this off.

931
01:02:35,960 --> 01:02:47,320
I know for myself, I'm towards motivated with play, with letting myself be in the mud and

932
01:02:47,320 --> 01:02:48,320
just having fun.

933
01:02:48,320 --> 01:02:50,880
And so that has inspired a lot of creativity.

934
01:02:50,880 --> 01:02:56,600
My strategy for that is creativity and writing and creative directing, different projects

935
01:02:56,600 --> 01:03:00,240
and calling and collaborations and all that kind of thing.

936
01:03:00,240 --> 01:03:07,560
So that is my towards motivated right now is to play.

937
01:03:07,560 --> 01:03:13,320
I mean, I have so many things that I'm beautifully towards motivated right now.

938
01:03:13,320 --> 01:03:21,520
And a lot of it's with business, with running our festival in Manitoba this fall, which

939
01:03:21,520 --> 01:03:30,560
is such a big and beautiful undertaking and just expanding business in the way that I

940
01:03:30,560 --> 01:03:37,480
serve people and really help them and teach them to heal themselves and all of that, but

941
01:03:37,480 --> 01:03:41,720
also not working as much at the same time.

942
01:03:41,720 --> 01:03:47,400
So really having that beautiful cobalance energy so that I have more play in my life

943
01:03:47,400 --> 01:03:54,880
and I have more space, but I'm still in deep, effective service.

944
01:03:54,880 --> 01:04:00,320
And then the other thing that I'm really towards motivated is we're in the energy of wanting

945
01:04:00,320 --> 01:04:06,560
to start our family and bringing all of that together.

946
01:04:06,560 --> 01:04:11,700
So making sure my business is on point, making sure my health is really, really beautiful

947
01:04:11,700 --> 01:04:17,880
making sure that I have that cobalance of play and living so that when this little soul

948
01:04:17,880 --> 01:04:27,120
decides to come down, I am as openhearted as possible in every area to go through that

949
01:04:27,120 --> 01:04:28,120
journey.

950
01:04:28,120 --> 01:04:29,120
Beautiful.

951
01:04:29,120 --> 01:04:30,120
That's so wonderful.

952
01:04:30,120 --> 01:04:31,120
I feel butterflies for you.

953
01:04:31,120 --> 01:04:32,120
I'm so excited you're claiming that for yourself.

954
01:04:32,120 --> 01:04:58,000
I think having moved six weeks ago, I've only been in Montana for about a month and a half

955
01:04:58,000 --> 01:05:02,720
and moved here not knowing anyone again.

956
01:05:02,720 --> 01:05:10,320
I have been so towards motivated, honestly around everything new, like saying yes, saying

957
01:05:10,320 --> 01:05:18,840
yes to meeting people, which terrifies my little Scorpio, saying yes to trying new things

958
01:05:18,840 --> 01:05:25,400
and going put like, I'll go snowboarding by myself, go rock climbing with new friends,

959
01:05:25,400 --> 01:05:30,680
like go out on a night when all that I really want to do is just like hide with my dog.

960
01:05:30,680 --> 01:05:39,400
Again, just fun, new things that give me a different perspective.

961
01:05:39,400 --> 01:05:40,400
I'm loving that.

962
01:05:40,400 --> 01:05:44,880
I'm very, I'm like, let me meet all the people and experience all of the things.

963
01:05:44,880 --> 01:05:47,560
I always, always, always end up grateful for it.

964
01:05:47,560 --> 01:05:51,160
I'm always in the extreme.

965
01:05:51,160 --> 01:06:01,880
I'm also in the energy of growing my business.

966
01:06:01,880 --> 01:06:06,360
It's a little baby business that we started in January.

967
01:06:06,360 --> 01:06:14,120
I mean, I was seeing clients for a long time on the side, but working for myself full time

968
01:06:14,120 --> 01:06:17,280
and that's going really, really well.

969
01:06:17,280 --> 01:06:20,280
And so I'm just trying to lean into that.

970
01:06:20,280 --> 01:06:30,880
I think more so just, like I'm noticing kind of the ways that people are finding the work

971
01:06:30,880 --> 01:06:37,800
that we do helpful, the reasons that people come to me to be their therapist in the first

972
01:06:37,800 --> 01:06:39,080
place.

973
01:06:39,080 --> 01:06:45,000
And I've been really, you know, kind of like amazed by like the different reasons for that

974
01:06:45,000 --> 01:06:55,120
and what brings them to the work of therapy and just really kind of further developing

975
01:06:55,120 --> 01:06:59,200
those aspects, those parts of myself.

976
01:06:59,200 --> 01:07:04,760
And then from there, like figuring out how to serve the community that I'm building outside

977
01:07:04,760 --> 01:07:08,720
of just like the one-to-one stuff.

978
01:07:08,720 --> 01:07:18,040
I'm pretty niched, but like what are the pain points that the community that I'm kind of

979
01:07:18,040 --> 01:07:25,720
growing and cultivating are needing help with that I can provide service for?

980
01:07:25,720 --> 01:07:27,820
And what can I learn from them too?

981
01:07:27,820 --> 01:07:35,280
So like just kind of this almost symbiotic relationship that I think I am really putting

982
01:07:35,280 --> 01:07:41,960
energy towards and trying to clarify and like find clarity in a little bit.

983
01:07:41,960 --> 01:07:42,960
Beautiful.

984
01:07:42,960 --> 01:07:43,960
Beautiful.

985
01:07:43,960 --> 01:07:46,400
Well, thank you, ladies.

986
01:07:46,400 --> 01:07:56,920
Thank you so much, ladies, for joining us today and for sharing your life and your light

987
01:07:56,920 --> 01:08:00,840
and your energy and ideas and excitement and everything with us today.

988
01:08:00,840 --> 01:08:03,360
I appreciate it immensely.

989
01:08:03,360 --> 01:08:06,480
Thank you to all the listeners for sitting through with us until here.

990
01:08:06,480 --> 01:08:12,000
If it's going to enjoy having you along in this conversation with us, please join us

991
01:08:12,000 --> 01:08:14,360
next week on Thursday.

992
01:08:14,360 --> 01:08:20,680
We will have myself and Shana will be talking about living neurodivergence and what that

993
01:08:20,680 --> 01:08:23,760
has all felt like for us so far.

994
01:08:23,760 --> 01:08:29,600
And there will also be a couple of solo episodes coming out between in the next few weeks.

995
01:08:29,600 --> 01:08:35,240
There will be additional episodes with just me, myself and I talking.

996
01:08:35,240 --> 01:09:02,600
So I hope that you enjoy those and join us for them again next time.