Rob McConnell Interviews - BEATRICE HAIR - Triumphing Over Bullies

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The X Zone radio and TV show is largely an
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opinion talk show. All opinions, comments, or statements of fact
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expressed by Rob McConnell's guests are strictly their own and
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are not to be construed as those of the X
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Zone radio and TV show or in any manner endorsed
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by Rob McConnell, Relmar McConnell Media Company, Talk Star Radio Network,
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its affiliated stations, or employees.
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Welcome to the X-Zone, a place where fact is fiction
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and fiction is reality. Now, here's your host, Rob McConnelly.
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All the girls and boys Making all that.
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Noise Cause they.
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Found new toys.
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Well, we can't salute ya Can't find a flag.
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If that don't suit ya That's.
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A drag Screws out for.
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Some And welcome back to the X-Zone, everyone. My name
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is Rob McConnell, and for the next four hours, I'm
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your host and your guide as together we cross the
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time-space continuum to this place that I call the X-Zone.
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It's a place where people dare to believe and dare
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to be heard. It's a place where fact is fiction
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and fiction is reality. And the X-Zone comes to you
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Monday through Friday from 10 p.m. Eastern until 2 a.m.
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and Europe. Worldwide toll-free 1-800-610-7035. Email exon at exonradiotv.com. On
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MSN Messenger, exonradiotv at hotmail.com. And our website, www.exonradiotv.com. You know,
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school has just started again this year, and one of
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the most talked about topics when you're talking to people
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with children going to school is bullying. It's a reality.
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In fact, we have some statistics here. Let me see.
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While there's no safe place from bullying, there are areas
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where bullying is worst. School bullying statistics and cyberbullying statistics
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rate the five top worst states to live in to
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avoid bullies. In kindergarten to grade 12 were California, New York, Illinois, Pennsylvania,
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and Washington. School bullying statistics and cyberbullying statistics show that
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77% of students are bullied mentally, verbally, and physically. Listen
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to this, XO Nation. Every day, 100,000 students carry a
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gun to school. 100,000 students. What is this telling us? Well,
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our guest this hour is Beatrice Hare, and she believes
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that tutoring can reduce bullying. Most parents think of tutoring
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as a solution for a child with bad grades, but
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Beatrice knows that It's about so much more than just
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the grays. And Beatrice, welcome to the X-Zone.
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Thank you. I'm very excited to be here.
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100,000 kids going to school every day in the United
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States carrying a gun.
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Well, that speaks for itself. And guess what those children
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grow up to be in the corporate scene?
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Bank robbers?
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And bullies, right?
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Yeah.
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It doesn't stop.
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So tell me, Why is the problem getting worse instead
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of getting better?
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I think there's probably always been a streak of humanity,
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the meanness, whatever you would call that, the streak of
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human meanness. Why is it exacerbated? I think there's just
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less checks and balances and more of an inability to
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monitor it. Cyberbullying is just so extensive because who's there
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to police it?
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Well, you know, the educational system has certainly changed from
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when I was going to school. We all had to
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wear school uniforms. We had to call a teacher by
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his surname. We didn't call our teacher Chuck or Rita
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or Susan like kids do today.
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Yep.
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We were all put on an equal playing field. And,
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you know.
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And the error there starts, you know, my construct is
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the three-legged table. The error there is when parents want
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to make children little adults.
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Ah.
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Not little adults. When they're little, you have to guide
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and tell them how it is. They have to grow
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into that. They don't get equal say from early on.
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No, they shouldn't. No, they shouldn't. And we have to
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look at the entire system to try and understand where
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it failed. I think there's more than one cause, and
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I hope over the next hour you might be able
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to shed some light onto it, as well as what
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we can do to turn it around. Beatrice Hare is
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our special guest at XO Nation. We're going to be
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talking to her about tutoring. Can tutoring reduce bullying? And
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if you'd like some more information on Beatrice, her website is,
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do you have a pencil and paper handy gang? You
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sure do. www.staltd.com. And we'll be back on the other
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side of this commercial break in two minutes as we
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continue right here from our studios in Hamilton, Ontario, Canada.
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Take it away, Alice Cooper.
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Thank you.
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Welcome back, everyone. Beatrice Harris, our special guest this hour.
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The question is, can tutoring reduce bullying? Well, Beatrice reveals
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how confident students can triumph over bullies. Tell me, how
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can tutoring help reduce bullying?
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Okay, so the type of tutoring that I do is
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very specific. It has to be one teacher with one student,
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so it's not a group situation, so it's one-on-one. I
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actually built an entire business concept 15 years ago, I
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was a classroom teacher. I witnessed all the things I
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witnessed in the classroom, including the bullying. And then I
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went ahead and left the classroom, kind of did the
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entrepreneurial thing and opened up a business with one-on-one tutoring,
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hired a big staff and trained them and kind of
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designed around a premise. And the premise is that every
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single student should exist within a three-legged table. So there's
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the teacher, there's the parent, and there's the student. And
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then Each of the facets of this, there's a contract
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for each part to understand fully what their role is
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and what they need to do to help provide the solutions.
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Children that are particularly vulnerable to bullying are children that
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struggle in an area. If you have all your confidence,
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then there may be a comment said in the playground
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or a nasty blog started about you, and it won't
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bother you because you're sure of yourself. You know where
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you're going. You're headed for your goals. You understand the
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nature of who started the bullying, and you know that
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they're not about a whole big game, and you move on.
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But it doesn't feel that way to a child who
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feels bad about him or herself. It doesn't feel... It
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feels like the end of the world if you get
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picked on when you already don't feel really good about yourself.
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So the three-legged table that I built is individually, one-on-one,
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sit down, here's a contract you signed, this is your part,
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and this is our part, and this is the student part,
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and then that kind of creates a platform. And what
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happens after the platform is formed is absolutely fantastic, and
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this is The exciting part of the work that I'm
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doing is that then the light bulbs for the child
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are not random. When I was a classroom teacher, which
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I enjoyed that, I did that for eight years, I
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would have, you know, Johnny over here would get a
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light bulb, and then an hour later Mary might get
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another one. And in the tutoring, we are specifically zeroing
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in on what that child doesn't understand, and we can
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zero in on building on strengths and just eliminating these weaknesses.
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And so... then the child goes in from a place
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of strength and a place of, a platform of, I
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know what I'm doing. I'm doing a good job. I
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understand new problems. I can do the math, that kind
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of thing. So, and what the children were telling us
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and have been telling us in the journal and write
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and share is how they were dying before because they
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were drowning in that, everybody's out to get me and
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the kids are picking on me. And they would go
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to bed at night and try to study for a
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test the next day, but they were scared of the bullies.
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And so it's kind of a vicious cycle. Once they
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got sucked down into it, then they couldn't really even
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help themselves out anymore. You can't grow if you feel threatened,
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and you can't really learn if you're afraid.
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All right, but I have to ask you at this point,
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what happened? When I was going to school, I think
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there were three bullies my entire time in elementary school,
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and they were kids who had learning problems, and they
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were kept behind. They were bigger than the rest of us.
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And you know what? We turned out okay. We didn't
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have to have one-on-one tutoring. We weren't subjected to to
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bullying that we see today. Is it because the parents
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at home baby the kids too much before they let
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them out into the real world?
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That's a possibility. That's a very, very viable theory. So
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basically a question is, you know, you had the bullies,
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but you got through okay, and you learned and you're
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gainfully employed and have, you know, obviously a happy family
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and all those things for yourself. And so what's the
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difference now?
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Exactly.
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Why is it different? I would say that there's something about,
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I think what I'm really about is a back to basics, down,
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let's roll up our sleeves when it comes to the
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child individually. There's a lot of passing around, I think.
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Even when you were raised, do you ever remember there
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being an educational issue or some time that you weren't
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doing well by any chance?
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Nope.
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So you just kind of sailed through school.
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Yeah. It was a great time in my life.
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That's excellent. That's excellent to hear. So who really needed
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the tutoring were the three bullies.
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And you know what? Even today, they are very well-to-do people.
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They were able to pull the rack together, and they learned,
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and they're very successful businessmen today. But when you look
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at the kids today, for example, that TV show Glee,
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you look at that and say, my God, is that
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what our school system is really like? No wonder kids
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are having problems, for God's sake.
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Well, there's a combination of problems. And like you said,
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the statistics are staggering. 30% of kids that get accepted
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into college need remedial reading. 60% of kids that go
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to community college need remedial reading. Why are these kids
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not learning to read? I have a good friend of
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mine who actually implemented the three-legged table contract in his
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entire high school. His name's Bob Christina, and he just
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got this going this year. He feels like a pioneer.
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And I said, no, no, no, I've been doing this
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15 years. You have to absolutely educate everybody into it
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so that it will happen. And he says, what's the deal?
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These kids are in school, but they can't read. They're
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in class. How can that be?
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Well, let's see.
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I'll bet you something has to do with the Xbox,
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the computer, the texting, the cell phones, the lack of
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supervision at home, the lousy meals that these kids are getting.
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lack of supervision, just to name a few.
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Yeah, I have my sweet 16 is my list of
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things for parents. One of them is, you know, don't
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make them little adults. The other is limit their electronic
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on the other. Feed them well. The other is get
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them to bed on time. You know, there's some very, very,
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very strong basics that are just simply not occurring. And
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then the parents are not giving the children the consistent continuity.
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You know, they'll set up something you know, for three weeks. Well,
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that child needs that exact guidance for three years. And
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so then the kid misbehaves or doesn't go to bed
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on time or doesn't get to sleep. And instead of
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losing a sticker on the contract, then they get yelled
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at and there's the scenes and the round and round.
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And so I have a very strong stance of parents
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do not raise your voice. You stay calm at all times.
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and it goes immediately into the contract where here you
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get three breaks, and after the three breaks you get
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consequences and you've lost your incentive, and so you didn't
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go to bed on time, and this is exactly what
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will happen. So the contract, the idea that everything's on
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paper and everybody's signed and agreed, and the three-legged table
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comes in because there's accountability. Like a parent and a student,
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a parent and a child, they can go round and
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round and be like two bulls, charging each other at
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the top of the mountain until one of them breaks their,
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their other one's skull, right? Like a lot of children
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and parents get in these terrible power struggles. And I say,
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no power struggle. You are not equals. You get out
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of the power struggle. You get, you sit down with
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a third person, which could be the tutor or the teacher.
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You put the problems on the table and then you
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modify the child's behavior and you do it consistently and
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you do it over time. And, uh, and it's always
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the same. And then you would negotiate. In other words,
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Maybe the kids could even, I'm against a lot of electronics,
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but they could earn a little bit of Xbox time
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if that's what they really want, only if they have
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completed their eight-week incentive for getting to bed on time
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or doing their homework or doing their chores around the
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house or whatever it might be. And, of course, at
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school it's things like do your homework and have studied
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and know your flashcards, and it's very specifically school-oriented type
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of behavior that we're looking for.
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So basically we're looking at a collective agreement for a
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child to learn.
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Well, and for there to be expectations and regular, consistent,
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reliable accountability.
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But why should we.
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Have to do that? We have a lot of parents
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who are like children raising children. They are not disciplined
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themselves in how they are executing what they're asking the
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child to do. And so that leads to confusion because
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the children think, oh, for three weeks in a row
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I had to do this, but now I didn't do
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it and I got away with it, so next week
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do I have to do it or not do it?
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And then it puts them back in, okay, I'll get
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my way, and then we're back to square one, the
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power struggle between just the parent and the child, which
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is disastrous. There's nothing beneficial about it, and you have
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to absolutely get outside the box with that and provide
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a solution. If at the nitty-gritty things are not right
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there between the parent and the child, well, guess where
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that spills out? It spills out into the classroom. So
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a teacher has 27 kids on her hand or his hand, whichever,
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and all of a sudden those problems become overwhelming, and
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the teachers spend a lot more of their time trying
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to handle the behavior, and that's what happened to me
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in the classroom. I ended up just feeling like I
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was managing the crowd. Versus being able to really, really
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enthuse the kids with the process and the excitement of
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learning great new things. And I'm not bragging, but I
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was an awarded teacher, but I got exhausted just from
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having to handle all the things that were really the
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parent job or really the student responsibility. And there was
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nobody there to say, okay, this is your part. This
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is your part here, teacher. You just do your part.
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And I wanted my part as a teacher to be
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just to get the kids interested and turned on to
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learning and And finding their little niches and the things
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they were excited about and developing that and growing them.
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But what it seems like is that mom and dad
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are not pulling their weight at home. They're not being
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responsible parents and letting the child do whatever the heck
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the child wants to do. And you as a teacher
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have to be a teacher as well as a parent.
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Right. And then you know what? It breaks down what
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I call the three-legged table. I honestly believe that my
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three-legged table is already infusing in the collective unconscious. Like,
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there was a time where we would sell a black person,
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and that was okay in our culture. And then there
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was a day where that was just not okay anymore,
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and it was in the collective unconscious, and it just
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had to stop, right? There was a time when women
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couldn't vote, and then all of a sudden there was
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a time where we couldn't even understand why women weren't voting.
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I mean, it just didn't make sense. I think this
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three-legged table is like that. We're going to think, how
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in God's green earth were we doing it? Were we
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trying to teach, you know, the public at large? And
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this is universal. I've had... My three-legged table work published
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in Africa. I mean, it's like there's no place that
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doesn't just completely understand that. If there's a breakdown in
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any of the three legs of the table, in any
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part that's not doing it, the whole thing falls down.
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There's not the– well, the three-legged table, when it's correctly
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put in place and the contract is there and everybody's
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doing their part, what happens from there is so amazing
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that you almost can't even imagine it. And so along
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with the amazing things that happen– are that the child's
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grades go up, and their education is great, and they
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get great scholarships to wonderful schools, and all those things happen.
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But what also happened was the immunity to bullying and
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the immunity to negative peer pressure and that kind of thing.
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So once you build up the platform, what can happen
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from there is so phenomenal, and that's what needs to
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happen across the board and everywhere, and it just needs
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to become in the collective unconscious that everybody just thinks,
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you know what? there's a three-legged table here. It's very
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clear the teacher is a good teacher. It's very clear
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that this parent is completely doing their part. What's very
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clear is that this child is not carrying their own weight.
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They're not doing what they're supposed to do. And then
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the other two.
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Beatrice, I'm going to have to stop you right there
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because I've got to take my news break at the
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bottom of the hour.
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Sure, okay.
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XO Nation, Beatrice Harris, our special guest. We're talking about
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can tutoring reduce bullying?
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I don't know.
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I'm having a bit of a problem with kids getting
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involved in contracts to do... to be kids. And, you know.
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I don't know, you know, you sign a contract as
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a kid to learn? Whatever happened to good old swift
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whack on the butt when you did something wrong, or
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the strap when you did something wrong at school? Discipline.
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That's what the school system needs. I'll be back on
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the other side of this break. Don't go away.
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Hi, this is Ken Elliott.
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When I'm floating around the universe, I always try to
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tune in to Rob McCall.
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Hey, ho there.
351
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Trinity Frog on Sesame Street. When I want to find
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out what's going on with UFOs or ghosts, I listen
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to The X-Zone.
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With Rob McConnell. This is Les Corrigan from Target Internet Development.
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You're listening to Rob McConnell on The X-Zone Radio Show.
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This is John Hogue, Prophecy Scholar, and you're listening to
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Rob McConnell in The X-Zone.
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Welcome to The X-Zone, a place where fact is fiction
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and fiction is reality. Now, here's your host, Rob McConnell.
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Your story's sad to tell A teenage ne'er-do-well Most mixed-up,
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non-delinquent On the block Your future's so unclear now What's
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left of your career now Can't even get a trade-in
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on your smile. Beauty School Drive-By No graduation day for you.
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Beauty School Drive-By.
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XO Nation, Beatrice Harris, our special guest of this hour.
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We're talking about can tutoring reduce bullying? Her website is www.staltd.com. Beatrice,
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great having you with us. You know what? I guess
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I'm from the real old school because you know what?
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When we went to school, you had a school uniform.
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You had a dress code. You called the teacher by
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his name. You stood up and sang the national anthem.
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You did the Lord's Prayer. And, you know, you celebrated Christmas.
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You had Halloween parties. You respected the teacher and each other.
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What happened?
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The breakdown of the respect, clearly.
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And where did that breakdown occur?
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Well, you and I talked a little bit about the
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actual breakdown there that happens in that moment when the
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parent and the child are screaming at each other, right?
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And then the breakdown has also happened when the parents
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come to the school, you know, entitled and beating their
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chest and wondering why the teacher isn't producing higher scores.
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And then, you know, and across the board, you know,
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when the respect breaks down, then you have to have
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other things in place. And obviously you mentioned, I think,
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in a joking way, you know, what happened to the strap.
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No, I wasn't joking. I was serious. You know, if
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a kid does something wrong, I believe in the kid
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getting a strap across the hand. There's no harm in that.
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God.
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Yes. And so that's one way to look at it.
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I kind of challenge that because I feel like that
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it can be, that it works to a point like that.
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Some children, and I've worked with thousands and thousands of
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children at this point, with eight years in the classroom
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and 15 years in the business of tutoring children. So
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I've seen a lot of things that work and seen
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things that don't. And so coming from a very strong
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grassroots of really being in the trenches. I'm not a talker.
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I'm a real doer. I'm in the front line of
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the educational process with parenting and raising children and teaching
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children and training teachers. And what I have found is
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that it's much more effective to use the simple tool.
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And my tool is published in a book, the H3LT,
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the Hair Three-Legged Table Contract. So people think it's a
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complicated thing to set it up. It's not. It's very simple.
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It's a simple book. It's a simple procedure. It's a
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simple little contract.
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There's Yeah, but you said before that kids shouldn't be
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treated like adults. Kids don't sign contracts. Adults sign contracts.
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Yes, but kids understand what behavior is expected from them
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and what happens if they don't. In other words, your
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background as a police would come in handy because you
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know that if I go speeding down the road, then
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if I get pulled over, I'll get a ticket. And
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a ticket is not... a beating with a bat over
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my head, a ticket is a fine. So the punishment
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should fit the crime.
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I agree. I agree.
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People think that the strap across the hands is the
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quick fix, but it doesn't always really teach the child
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the process. You know what? This is my responsibility for
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what I did, and this is how I'll do better
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next time. Sometimes the message that gets taught is it's
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okay to be violent, and now I've been hit by
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my dad, so I'm going to go hit my younger brother.
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And so it teaches the lesson that we don't want
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to teach, which is to propel violence. So it's very
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important to send the correct message of this is what
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I expect. When you do it, this is what I'm
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going to do for you. But when you don't do it,
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here are your consequences. And I'm not going to tell
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you that with the thousands of children that I've never
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had corporal punishment built in because we have. There's been
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some cases where all other incentives and consequence systems failed.
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And then I said, okay, this is the last resort
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and it needs to be used. And so I'm good
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with corporal punishment as a last resort, but if you
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can have something that's better.
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Oh, I agree with you. I wasn't saying, you know,
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start off with a strap. No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
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The strap is.
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Last resort.
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Last resort.
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Yes. And then I think it should be there. I
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really do. I think if you've used, you know, every
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other possible means and you still can't break through to
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whatever has made it a bad home... You know, it's
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like I say, listen, you're a good kid, but something
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very bad made a home in you. And that's got
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to go, you know. So there's that sense that then
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it comes down to the wire. And then I think that,
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you know, you have to use, then if you use
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the corporal punishment, then so be it. So I'm not
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dead against it, but it should fit in a context of,
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you know, a bigger picture of other avenues.
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I agree with you 100% on that. What I think
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is wrong is suspending a child out of school or
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expelling them because that is defeating the entire cause.
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Because they get what they want.
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Exactly.
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They get to go home and play the Xbox.
463
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Exactly.
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Exactly.
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And, you know, having kids go through metal detectors in
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a school, having police officers patrol the halls, you know,
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come on. What message are we giving our kids? We
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should be spending more time with the parents and seeing
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where the problem is in homes That's what I say.
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That's what I say, that if we get this three-legged
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table contract done, like people have in entire high schools,
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they just come and say to the parent, this is
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what you have to do. This is not our job
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to do it. Your kid needs to know to act
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this way and be this way and basic common sense.
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But the accountability being there will help the teachers. My
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solution is honestly a win-win-win. It's a win for everything.
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A child who is learning and doing what he's supposed
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to do and a teacher doesn't have to spend a
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whole lot of time making sure the kids are doing
481
00:26:46.549 --> 00:26:49.490
what they're, you know, behaving well. That's just a complete
482
00:26:49.509 --> 00:26:53.009
waste of teacher resources. Teachers need to be helping kids
483
00:26:53.049 --> 00:26:54.230
get ready for the job.
484
00:26:54.309 --> 00:26:55.049
Exactly.
485
00:26:55.609 --> 00:26:58.460
Yeah. And, I mean, there's a global economy right now,
486
00:26:58.500 --> 00:27:01.519
and I feel a little bit worried for us over
487
00:27:01.559 --> 00:27:03.640
here in North America, if you don't mind me sharing.
488
00:27:03.920 --> 00:27:04.430
No, not at all.
489
00:27:04.460 --> 00:27:08.500
You know, I think there's, they say there's 200,000 American
490
00:27:08.740 --> 00:27:13.500
children that are learning Chinese. There's 300 million Chinese learning
491
00:27:13.779 --> 00:27:16.420
how to speak English. Now, let you and I just
492
00:27:16.539 --> 00:27:19.759
fast-forward the clock a little bit. And you know, you
493
00:27:19.799 --> 00:27:22.220
said you have friends that are successful in business. Now,
494
00:27:22.289 --> 00:27:24.750
there's a business meeting, and we're getting ready to close
495
00:27:24.789 --> 00:27:28.309
with the Chinese. And we're outside the loop on the language,
496
00:27:28.390 --> 00:27:30.390
on the subtlety. How are we going to close that
497
00:27:30.450 --> 00:27:33.250
deal and win that moment? Right?
498
00:27:33.349 --> 00:27:36.269
The way I see it, the educational field has not
499
00:27:36.309 --> 00:27:37.390
kept up with the times.
500
00:27:38.710 --> 00:27:41.200
Correct. That's correct. So what do we have to do?
501
00:27:41.279 --> 00:27:44.859
What's the solution? Well, the first solution is that we
502
00:27:44.900 --> 00:27:48.359
have got to get the basics down pat, how everybody behaves.
503
00:27:48.460 --> 00:27:51.180
That's what my contract is about, the three-legged table, because
504
00:27:51.220 --> 00:27:53.230
you can have a lot of wonderful theory and you
505
00:27:53.269 --> 00:27:58.170
can have great philosophical ideas, but you cannot implement them
506
00:27:58.210 --> 00:27:59.549
if you don't have the basics.
507
00:27:59.710 --> 00:28:02.829
You know, there's an old law saying that a contract
508
00:28:02.890 --> 00:28:04.869
is only as good as the paper it's written on.
509
00:28:05.680 --> 00:28:06.740
Or the people who sign it, right?
510
00:28:06.779 --> 00:28:10.940
Yeah, exactly. So let's just use this hypothetical situation that
511
00:28:10.980 --> 00:28:15.380
you're in an area of town where mom and dad
512
00:28:15.460 --> 00:28:20.240
really don't give a hoot. I have a solution.
513
00:28:20.279 --> 00:28:22.019
What is it? And I actually made it work, so
514
00:28:22.059 --> 00:28:26.119
I know that this is here. Let's just be honest
515
00:28:26.180 --> 00:28:28.769
and say that there are... quite a few parents that
516
00:28:28.809 --> 00:28:32.210
are simply not resourceful. They're not resourceful for themselves. It's
517
00:28:32.309 --> 00:28:36.569
generational that they've been living on public assistance. Okay. So
518
00:28:36.930 --> 00:28:39.069
then you have this child and you know what? That
519
00:28:39.130 --> 00:28:41.910
child does get a fresh clean slate. So you build
520
00:28:41.970 --> 00:28:44.930
a three-legged contract, but you know what? You don't use
521
00:28:44.970 --> 00:28:47.930
those parents on the parent. Like you find a grandparent
522
00:28:48.250 --> 00:28:52.430
or even better, the other parents in the classroom of that,
523
00:28:52.670 --> 00:28:56.589
where you're that child has a classroom with twenty seven
524
00:28:56.710 --> 00:29:00.339
other moms and twenty seven other dad and i'm really
525
00:29:00.440 --> 00:29:03.000
now from my experience in the trenches that when i
526
00:29:03.059 --> 00:29:07.140
went to another mother another mother who already knew about
527
00:29:07.180 --> 00:29:09.309
the three-legged table would never need to find a contract
528
00:29:09.349 --> 00:29:10.769
but if they have to they would do it and
529
00:29:10.809 --> 00:29:12.990
they were ready well on their way you know there
530
00:29:13.009 --> 00:29:15.569
are many many many many people that are well on
531
00:29:15.589 --> 00:29:19.049
their way that understand completely that their child doing their
532
00:29:19.089 --> 00:29:20.950
part and after their part and then they do expect
533
00:29:20.970 --> 00:29:22.930
to teach it to their part So if a teacher
534
00:29:22.970 --> 00:29:24.930
goes to, and the teacher is the one who knows
535
00:29:24.970 --> 00:29:27.720
who those other parents are that are resourceful, that are
536
00:29:27.799 --> 00:29:30.400
powerful parent legs of the table. So they go to
537
00:29:30.420 --> 00:29:32.680
that other parent and say, listen, I've got Johnny over here.
538
00:29:32.779 --> 00:29:34.890
His parents are not resourceful. I have no help. Will
539
00:29:34.930 --> 00:29:36.589
you be the one to sign on the contract and
540
00:29:36.609 --> 00:29:39.089
deliver on the incentive and help me with this? And
541
00:29:39.289 --> 00:29:39.769
guess what happens?
542
00:29:40.460 --> 00:29:40.700
There?
543
00:29:41.279 --> 00:29:44.720
That brings out the goodwill that humanity has as well
544
00:29:45.480 --> 00:29:47.460
and that we do want to help our neighbor and
545
00:29:47.509 --> 00:29:49.130
that we want to help in a concrete way. And
546
00:29:49.289 --> 00:29:51.750
what more important way is there to help than the
547
00:29:51.789 --> 00:29:54.509
child that's sitting right beside your own child in the classroom?
548
00:29:55.089 --> 00:29:58.549
So the resource that's available is the other parents who
549
00:29:58.910 --> 00:30:00.380
are the third leg of the table.
550
00:30:01.579 --> 00:30:03.980
How does this affect the child at home with other
551
00:30:04.019 --> 00:30:08.480
people being his surrogate parents for this project? Is there
552
00:30:08.529 --> 00:30:09.309
any animosity?
553
00:30:09.329 --> 00:30:11.250
It gives them a chance. It gives them an opportunity.
554
00:30:11.569 --> 00:30:15.130
You know that poverty is a trap. And it's not
555
00:30:15.190 --> 00:30:20.289
always poverty money-wise. I mean, it's poverty resources-wise, poverty intellectually,
556
00:30:20.329 --> 00:30:24.289
poverty emotionally. You know, a family that's abusing heroin at
557
00:30:24.329 --> 00:30:29.559
the home is emotionally not available. But you know that children,
558
00:30:29.579 --> 00:30:32.779
it's a known fact over the years that I could
559
00:30:32.819 --> 00:30:35.359
have a child that was gifted in one area and
560
00:30:35.579 --> 00:30:37.640
one hour a day got to go to the gifted
561
00:30:37.700 --> 00:30:40.940
class and were challenged and intrigued, and the rest of
562
00:30:40.960 --> 00:30:43.250
the day they were bored out of their head and
563
00:30:43.269 --> 00:30:46.130
they would go home to an extremely unstimulating environment, but
564
00:30:46.150 --> 00:30:49.349
that one hour a day carried them through to have
565
00:30:49.390 --> 00:30:51.970
them go on to be successful people because they had
566
00:30:52.009 --> 00:30:54.170
it modeled and they had that experience of it. And
567
00:30:54.210 --> 00:30:56.140
when children get out on their own and they grow up,
568
00:30:56.509 --> 00:30:58.670
They can build the world they want, and if they've
569
00:30:58.750 --> 00:31:02.630
had something that imprinted that worked for them, it's the
570
00:31:02.730 --> 00:31:06.900
pattern of success that's been imprinted. So a child, there
571
00:31:06.940 --> 00:31:09.900
are many, many, many imperfect homes, but if a child
572
00:31:09.940 --> 00:31:12.220
can walk into an environment where there is structure and
573
00:31:12.240 --> 00:31:15.950
consistency and continuity, and they do understand that contract and
574
00:31:15.990 --> 00:31:19.779
they're part of the contract, They can even for themselves determine, hey, listen,
575
00:31:19.839 --> 00:31:22.799
it's so clear my parents aren't a part of the solution.
576
00:31:23.140 --> 00:31:25.920
Kids figure things out. Kids are brilliant. They have beautiful
577
00:31:25.940 --> 00:31:29.609
little souls and amazing insights. And if you just listen
578
00:31:29.640 --> 00:31:32.180
to them, they'll tell you how it is. So, yes,
579
00:31:32.269 --> 00:31:34.710
there are many children that survive a bad home environment
580
00:31:34.730 --> 00:31:36.569
that go on to make great things happen with their lives.
581
00:31:36.890 --> 00:31:39.569
But a little bit of seeing it happening and experiencing
582
00:31:39.650 --> 00:31:42.490
it goes a long way. A little goes a long way.
583
00:31:43.680 --> 00:31:45.900
A little love goes a long way. A little consistency
584
00:31:45.920 --> 00:31:46.529
goes a long way.
585
00:31:46.640 --> 00:31:49.390
So basically what I'm getting from this conversation is that
586
00:31:49.430 --> 00:31:51.809
the problem isn't with the kids. The problem isn't with
587
00:31:51.849 --> 00:31:53.690
the parents. The problem is with the school.
588
00:31:55.230 --> 00:31:58.329
Well, I would say that there's a three-way problem. There's
589
00:31:58.349 --> 00:32:00.230
the problems with the kids, the problems with the parents,
590
00:32:00.250 --> 00:32:03.849
the problems with the teachers. And what the overall complete
591
00:32:03.910 --> 00:32:07.339
problem is, there's no agreement in the educational community on
592
00:32:07.359 --> 00:32:10.180
the solutions. So that's where I come in.
593
00:32:10.200 --> 00:32:14.059
Well, you know, you said the children get bored because
594
00:32:14.079 --> 00:32:17.569
they're not being challenged. That means, in my book, that
595
00:32:17.609 --> 00:32:19.710
the school board or the school or the teacher isn't
596
00:32:19.750 --> 00:32:20.869
doing their job.
597
00:32:21.329 --> 00:32:21.569
Correct.
598
00:32:21.609 --> 00:32:22.589
And challenging the child.
599
00:32:22.609 --> 00:32:24.730
And why? Why is that teacher not doing their job?
600
00:32:24.950 --> 00:32:26.990
Could it possibly be because they're having to play mommy
601
00:32:27.009 --> 00:32:29.430
to 15 of the kids in the room, and they're exhausted?
602
00:32:29.529 --> 00:32:31.289
Or could it be the teacher isn't a good teacher?
603
00:32:32.170 --> 00:32:33.779
Sometimes, but I've got to tell you, there's an awful
604
00:32:33.819 --> 00:32:36.210
lot of good teachers around. And are there sorry teachers
605
00:32:36.250 --> 00:32:39.410
out there that shouldn't be teaching? Absolutely. You and I
606
00:32:39.470 --> 00:32:40.299
both know that's the truth.
607
00:32:40.539 --> 00:32:41.019
I agree.
608
00:32:41.039 --> 00:32:43.660
But, you know, the idea that we have to only
609
00:32:43.720 --> 00:32:46.240
hire top-of-the-line people and only the best of the best
610
00:32:46.279 --> 00:32:48.759
can be teachers, that's not realistic. Just look at the
611
00:32:48.819 --> 00:32:50.920
numbers of teachers that have to be hired. That's like
612
00:32:51.000 --> 00:32:54.380
saying every teacher has to be an NFL football player
613
00:32:54.519 --> 00:32:57.819
level and every person, you know, maybe you just have
614
00:32:57.839 --> 00:32:59.680
to work. What I'm saying is give a lot of
615
00:32:59.740 --> 00:33:01.380
good teachers a great tool.
616
00:33:01.579 --> 00:33:04.470
All right, now hold on here. We also said earlier
617
00:33:04.529 --> 00:33:07.390
that kids are being shot through the system. Kids are
618
00:33:07.410 --> 00:33:08.829
going to college that can't read.
619
00:33:09.569 --> 00:33:09.789
Correct.
620
00:33:10.170 --> 00:33:13.210
That's the school fault. That's the teacher's fault. It's not
621
00:33:13.250 --> 00:33:16.380
the parent's fault. So let's put the blame where it
622
00:33:16.619 --> 00:33:19.279
rightfully belongs. If the school system just wants to put
623
00:33:19.339 --> 00:33:23.640
people through for their statistics and their grants and their scores,
624
00:33:24.319 --> 00:33:25.759
why should the kids suffer for that?
625
00:33:26.400 --> 00:33:28.359
Why should the parents suffer? And that's obviously what you
626
00:33:28.400 --> 00:33:30.079
and I are both talking about is what has happened.
627
00:33:30.119 --> 00:33:33.619
The system has gotten bogged down. It's completely quagmired. You
628
00:33:33.660 --> 00:33:36.089
and I are both here to say the system is broken.
629
00:33:36.630 --> 00:33:38.410
There's no doubt about it. And so what do you
630
00:33:38.450 --> 00:33:39.549
do with a broken system?
631
00:33:39.589 --> 00:33:39.910
Fix it.
632
00:33:39.950 --> 00:33:42.799
You implement a solution that simply works. You go in
633
00:33:42.839 --> 00:33:46.039
with a three-legged table. And you demand it from every
634
00:33:46.099 --> 00:33:49.259
person involved. And then what can happen from there, from
635
00:33:49.319 --> 00:33:52.420
my personal experience of 15 years of working with hundreds
636
00:33:52.440 --> 00:33:54.920
of teachers and thousands of kids and thousands of parents
637
00:33:54.940 --> 00:33:57.579
is you put in something that works. And what happens
638
00:33:57.660 --> 00:34:03.099
from there is transformational. It's amazing. It's breathtaking. You cannot
639
00:34:03.180 --> 00:34:05.660
imagine what it's like to have a kid that walks in,
640
00:34:05.700 --> 00:34:08.440
he's in the reading disability group, and four months later,
641
00:34:08.840 --> 00:34:11.360
he's in that gifted program and he's gained four years
642
00:34:11.420 --> 00:34:13.840
in his reading level. You know, that's something that happened
643
00:34:13.920 --> 00:34:17.400
because a three-legged table was built. So right now what's
644
00:34:17.420 --> 00:34:19.639
happening is the system is moving all these kids through
645
00:34:19.659 --> 00:34:23.510
that are coming out that can't even read, that many
646
00:34:23.570 --> 00:34:26.070
of them do not have work ethic or a skill
647
00:34:26.110 --> 00:34:29.170
set that any employer would want. I mean, it's absolutely,
648
00:34:29.190 --> 00:34:32.639
the system is absolutely broken. So what I'm proposing is
649
00:34:32.880 --> 00:34:36.900
everybody get on board with the three-legged table, create a
650
00:34:36.920 --> 00:34:39.639
three-legged table in your educational environment. If you're a teacher,
651
00:34:39.679 --> 00:34:41.550
you push it, you win. If you're a parent, you
652
00:34:41.570 --> 00:34:43.369
push it, you win. If you're a principal, make it
653
00:34:43.409 --> 00:34:46.710
happen for everyone. Like I said, principals are trying this entire,
654
00:34:46.989 --> 00:34:51.510
for huge schools, you know, and it's going over, it's
655
00:34:51.690 --> 00:34:54.969
working because people see this is the light at the
656
00:34:55.050 --> 00:34:55.610
end of the tunnel.
657
00:34:55.739 --> 00:34:59.320
All right, if this system is so good, And has
658
00:34:59.400 --> 00:35:03.760
the results that you're telling us it has, why are,
659
00:35:04.539 --> 00:35:07.219
how come it's not being implemented statewide?
660
00:35:07.900 --> 00:35:10.050
It's not in the collective unconscious yet. People have to
661
00:35:10.110 --> 00:35:13.730
be ready. Like statewide, we stopped slavery when it just
662
00:35:13.789 --> 00:35:16.280
became the collective unconscious that we could no longer have it.
663
00:35:16.309 --> 00:35:19.489
Then the laws changed. My approach to how I'm doing
664
00:35:19.510 --> 00:35:21.329
this with my book and the work that I have
665
00:35:21.949 --> 00:35:24.309
is that let's get it in the collective unconscious and
666
00:35:24.329 --> 00:35:28.570
then it'll be demanded from the legislatures. It'll happen by law.
667
00:35:28.690 --> 00:35:29.389
You hope.
668
00:35:30.590 --> 00:35:34.000
It'll be everywhere. Like the three-legged table is the universal
669
00:35:34.039 --> 00:35:37.079
solution for us to step up our educational system.
670
00:35:37.420 --> 00:35:39.699
You know, I'm getting mixed signals here because if it
671
00:35:39.880 --> 00:35:41.579
is as good as you say it is, I can't
672
00:35:41.639 --> 00:35:43.960
see why the government doesn't get on board right away.
673
00:35:44.139 --> 00:35:45.380
Something doesn't make sense to me here.
674
00:35:45.460 --> 00:35:48.590
Oh, because the government is read by politicians and politicians
675
00:35:48.650 --> 00:35:50.010
go with votes.
676
00:35:50.090 --> 00:35:53.110
Hey, I'm going to tell you something. If I am
677
00:35:53.150 --> 00:35:55.309
a local politician and said we've got a system here
678
00:35:55.329 --> 00:35:59.900
that will help kids learn how to read, be better students. Man,
679
00:36:00.159 --> 00:36:02.360
I'd be voting for him tomorrow, the day after, the
680
00:36:02.380 --> 00:36:03.360
day after, the day after.
681
00:36:03.380 --> 00:36:06.960
So what you're telling me is stop trying to educate
682
00:36:06.980 --> 00:36:09.360
the public and go start educating the politicians. Exactly. So
683
00:36:09.389 --> 00:36:11.170
I have to say that I went to Congress. I
684
00:36:11.210 --> 00:36:13.349
was in Michelle Bachman's office in March.
685
00:36:13.369 --> 00:36:15.510
All right, stand by, stand by, stand by. We've got
686
00:36:15.530 --> 00:36:17.250
to take our final break, or we'll be back on
687
00:36:17.269 --> 00:36:24.860
the other side of this commercial break with Beatrice Hare. www.staltd.com.
688
00:36:24.900 --> 00:36:25.300
Don't go away.
689
00:36:28.130 --> 00:36:33.809
Beauty school drama. No graduation day for you.
690
00:36:54.170 --> 00:36:58.469
There's a ship lies rigged and ready in the harbor.
691
00:36:59.750 --> 00:37:06.760
Tomorrow for old England, she says, far away from your land.
692
00:37:07.179 --> 00:37:09.980
XO Nation, my guest this hour is Beatrice Hare. She's
693
00:37:10.000 --> 00:37:15.079
the author of H3LT, The Hare Three-Legged Table Solution for Education.
694
00:37:16.039 --> 00:37:19.019
And just go to her website. It's full of information.
695
00:37:19.119 --> 00:37:20.500
It's a great little book. I had the pleasure of
696
00:37:20.579 --> 00:37:30.719
reading it. Her website is www.staltd.com. Okay, why don't we
697
00:37:30.760 --> 00:37:34.190
just pound the brains, bring the books to Washington, make
698
00:37:34.230 --> 00:37:37.909
sure everybody gets one. Hell, you met with President Obama.
699
00:37:38.210 --> 00:37:38.889
Did you give him a book?
700
00:37:38.909 --> 00:37:38.980
Yes.
701
00:37:39.849 --> 00:37:40.349
No.
702
00:37:40.409 --> 00:37:41.150
Why not?
703
00:37:42.150 --> 00:37:44.659
Because at that point, I was being congratulated for being
704
00:37:44.739 --> 00:37:46.769
the North Carolina Small Business Person of the.
705
00:37:46.739 --> 00:37:48.699
Year for the Self-Creative.
706
00:37:48.340 --> 00:37:50.440
Tutoring Academy, which is the business that implements.
707
00:37:50.960 --> 00:37:52.519
I still would have slipped on my book.
708
00:37:55.679 --> 00:37:58.260
But, you know, and I think it is about that.
709
00:37:58.340 --> 00:38:00.320
I think it is about the person putting the book
710
00:38:00.380 --> 00:38:02.260
in the hands of the right person, and then it'll
711
00:38:02.300 --> 00:38:03.519
be everywhere. You know, the.
712
00:38:04.619 --> 00:38:06.460
There was a big story on the news the other
713
00:38:06.480 --> 00:38:10.780
day where some school boards are going 100% green. They've
714
00:38:10.800 --> 00:38:14.030
got solar panels on the roof. They're selling power back
715
00:38:14.090 --> 00:38:18.250
to the grid. All the students are getting iPads because
716
00:38:18.329 --> 00:38:21.510
the school system believes that this will help the children learn,
717
00:38:21.590 --> 00:38:24.590
make learning fun. Why can't we get one of your
718
00:38:24.650 --> 00:38:29.869
books into these iPads so that the teacher reads it,
719
00:38:30.119 --> 00:38:32.599
the student reads it, and the student brings it home
720
00:38:32.619 --> 00:38:33.840
from mom and dad to read it?
721
00:38:34.510 --> 00:38:37.150
Yep, and it's available on Kindle, on Amazon, and all
722
00:38:37.170 --> 00:38:40.010
kinds of other places, so you can download it and
723
00:38:40.050 --> 00:38:42.750
have it in your iPod, absolutely. I recommend that.
724
00:38:43.110 --> 00:38:45.110
Okay, what is the message you'd like to leave with
725
00:38:45.130 --> 00:38:46.170
the XO Nation tonight?
726
00:38:46.929 --> 00:38:48.630
I would just keep up the great work of thinking
727
00:38:48.690 --> 00:38:53.949
outside the box and allowing people to share. I just
728
00:38:54.010 --> 00:38:56.190
love the whole thing about your show, and I really
729
00:38:56.250 --> 00:39:00.260
appreciate the opportunity to have been involved. to present my
730
00:39:00.539 --> 00:39:02.739
thoughts and my ideas and my solutions for education.
731
00:39:02.840 --> 00:39:07.070
You know, there's some other scary statistics here. 87% of
732
00:39:07.170 --> 00:39:10.170
bullies said shootings are motivated by a desire to get
733
00:39:10.230 --> 00:39:13.650
back at those who have hurt them. Yep. 86% of
734
00:39:13.670 --> 00:39:15.590
the kids picking on them, making fun of them, or
735
00:39:15.650 --> 00:39:19.800
bullying them causes teenagers to turn lethal violence in the schools.
736
00:39:19.800 --> 00:39:24.059
61% said that students shoot others because they have been
737
00:39:24.159 --> 00:39:26.260
victims of physical abuse at home.
738
00:39:26.820 --> 00:39:28.460
Yes, so you see, that's why I was saying the...
739
00:39:28.699 --> 00:39:30.489
corporal punishment is last resort because you don't want to
740
00:39:30.530 --> 00:39:34.349
teach violence. You know, it's like I'm on the anti-violence.
741
00:39:34.409 --> 00:39:36.690
I'm like, let's do everything but violence. Let's be calm.
742
00:39:36.710 --> 00:39:39.030
Let's be quiet. Let's be patient. Let's be consistent. Let's
743
00:39:39.070 --> 00:39:42.170
give kids continuity and consistency in what they need. And
744
00:39:42.190 --> 00:39:44.809
let's leave all the screaming and the violence behind. And
745
00:39:44.829 --> 00:39:47.900
let's show them another way. So it's a solution outside
746
00:39:47.920 --> 00:39:51.119
of the bullying. You become confident. Don't bully back. Just
747
00:39:51.179 --> 00:39:54.110
move forward your dreams and become immune to what the
748
00:39:54.139 --> 00:39:56.289
mean people are saying and doing to you.
749
00:39:56.309 --> 00:39:58.789
Okay, quickly, give your book another plug.
750
00:40:00.409 --> 00:40:04.679
The H3LT stands for, my last name is Hare, Beatrice Hare.
751
00:40:04.739 --> 00:40:08.329
So it's the Hare Three-Legged Table Solution for Education. It's
752
00:40:08.489 --> 00:40:11.989
an easy read, 60-page book that has these contracts, samples
753
00:40:12.030 --> 00:40:14.610
of the contracts in them. It's clearly outlined on the
754
00:40:14.630 --> 00:40:17.570
three-legged table with tons of ideas for the incentives and consequences,
755
00:40:17.949 --> 00:40:22.789
and it's written for parents, teachers, and students. So enjoy.
756
00:40:23.090 --> 00:40:25.469
Everybody should buy the book and implement it where it's needed.
757
00:40:25.630 --> 00:40:28.730
Buy three books, gang. Give one to your teacher, one
758
00:40:28.829 --> 00:40:31.369
to the person that runs the school board, and then
759
00:40:31.429 --> 00:40:34.329
another one to the congressman. Mind you, you can always
760
00:40:34.550 --> 00:40:37.719
mail one to President Obama from Beatrice. All right, Beatrice,
761
00:40:37.739 --> 00:40:39.239
we've got to say so long for now. Thanks very
762
00:40:39.280 --> 00:40:40.940
much for joining us. We look forward to the next
763
00:40:41.000 --> 00:40:43.679
time we meet here in the Exxon. Congratulations. I see
764
00:40:43.699 --> 00:40:47.550
what you're trying to do. I share your vision. And
765
00:40:48.090 --> 00:40:50.530
you know what? Together we can make anything happen.
766
00:40:51.309 --> 00:40:51.650
That's right.
767
00:40:52.010 --> 00:40:52.630
Take care of yourself.
768
00:40:53.170 --> 00:40:53.590
Bye-bye now.
769
00:40:53.610 --> 00:40:54.670
Thank you. Bye-bye.
770
00:40:55.070 --> 00:40:57.469
Beatrice Hare has been my guest this hour, Exxon Nation.
771
00:40:57.489 --> 00:41:03.280
We're talking about her book, H3LT, The Hare Story. three-legged
772
00:41:03.320 --> 00:41:10.059
table solution for education, www.staltd.com. I'll be back on the
773
00:41:10.079 --> 00:41:12.619
other side of this commercial break in six and a
774
00:41:13.139 --> 00:41:15.179
half minutes past the hour as the X Zone continues
775
00:41:15.260 --> 00:41:19.480
with yours truly, Rob McConnell, from our studios in Hamilton, Ontario, Canada.
776
00:41:19.519 --> 00:41:21.469
Whatever you do, don't go away. We'll be back after
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00:41:21.510 --> 00:41:21.820
the news.