WEBVTT
1
00:00:00.131 --> 00:00:09.660
A lot of women, especially in long-term relationships, when those new relationship energy chemicals are gone, are waiting for their mind to kick on to say, I want this.
2
00:00:09.880 --> 00:00:12.603
But that doesn't happen typically because arousal comes first.
3
00:00:12.623 --> 00:00:17.348
So what this means for the woman, like, okay, not really in the mood, gonna do it anyways.
4
00:00:17.748 --> 00:00:21.952
And, you know, start really feeling into the sensations of the body and like,
5
00:00:22.032 --> 00:00:26.056
okay, letting go of the stress of the day and 15 to 20 minutes into it.
6
00:00:26.116 --> 00:00:29.399
So now my body's been aroused 15 to 20 minutes into it.
7
00:00:29.499 --> 00:00:33.182
Then there's a thought in the brain that says, huh, this actually feels kind of good.
8
00:00:33.362 --> 00:00:38.247
And then this is where the lady at the end of making love will might say to her partner something like, that was really great.
9
00:00:38.267 --> 00:00:39.348
Why don't we do that more often?
10
00:00:40.290 --> 00:00:49.799
This is Vibe Science, a top 100 wellness podcast presented by the Radcast Network, breaking wellness barriers and making health truly personal.
11
00:00:50.279 --> 00:00:51.841
Here's your host, Ryan Alford.
12
00:00:55.792 --> 00:00:58.553
Hello and welcome to Vibe Science.
13
00:00:58.993 --> 00:01:00.734
We're always taking you to your highest vibe.
14
00:01:00.754 --> 00:01:05.096
It's about mind, body, energy, and yes, sex.
15
00:01:05.596 --> 00:01:06.516
That's important too.
16
00:01:07.017 --> 00:01:07.897
Everything's important.
17
00:01:07.997 --> 00:01:10.458
It's a full loop and we don't know it all.
18
00:01:10.738 --> 00:01:12.259
Chris and I are just here to be your guides.
19
00:01:13.259 --> 00:01:19.362
And that's why we have smart people coming on every episode because we're here to be that wellness guide.
20
00:01:20.335 --> 00:01:35.658
place where you learn what how you get to your best level look we don't all have all figured out we need help we need experts what we need is the libido doctor it is dr diane mueller doctor welcome to the show
21
00:01:36.098 --> 00:01:37.179
Oh, thanks, Ryan.
22
00:01:37.239 --> 00:01:38.100
Thanks, Chris.
23
00:01:38.200 --> 00:01:39.561
And you're so right, right?
24
00:01:39.601 --> 00:01:49.608
In the space where we're talking about high vibe, science, longevity, I feel like one of the missing things in the conversation lately is libido and sex.
25
00:01:49.928 --> 00:02:02.457
And in some of the research I've done, as well as what I hope we get your guests and your audience to understand today really is that pleasure is not just about desire, but it's actually something we truly require.
26
00:02:02.797 --> 00:02:03.758
So happy to be here.
27
00:02:04.200 --> 00:02:05.401
Hey, I love that.
28
00:02:05.561 --> 00:02:06.901
I don't feel so guilty, you know?
29
00:02:08.342 --> 00:02:08.642
Yeah.
30
00:02:08.742 --> 00:02:09.943
It's required, damn it.
31
00:02:10.003 --> 00:02:10.583
That's right.
32
00:02:10.683 --> 00:02:11.824
The libido doctor says.
33
00:02:13.124 --> 00:02:13.945
Doctor's orders.
34
00:02:14.325 --> 00:02:15.686
Yeah, Chris, it's required.
35
00:02:15.786 --> 00:02:16.106
Yes.
36
00:02:16.966 --> 00:02:17.506
Celebrate.
37
00:02:18.527 --> 00:02:19.527
I got no problem with that.
38
00:02:20.008 --> 00:02:21.328
Permission for great sex.
39
00:02:22.109 --> 00:02:22.529
I know.
40
00:02:22.769 --> 00:02:24.630
Well, we really appreciate you coming on.
41
00:02:25.510 --> 00:02:26.951
Chris Hansen's down in Miami.
42
00:02:27.571 --> 00:02:29.072
Chris, I love this topic, brother.
43
00:02:29.092 --> 00:02:30.633
I'm so glad we got Dr. Bueller on.
44
00:02:31.237 --> 00:02:31.837
Yeah, I'm pumped.
45
00:02:32.217 --> 00:02:35.119
It should be a very enlightening and interesting episode.
46
00:02:35.139 --> 00:02:39.201
I think that everyone can, everyone's probably dealt with this before.
47
00:02:39.861 --> 00:02:46.004
Yeah, we're trying to break down the walls of these topics that people think about, but don't probably talk about enough.
48
00:02:46.844 --> 00:02:48.645
And I think this is one of them.
49
00:02:48.825 --> 00:02:53.667
I mean, I've been married for 10 years, very happily married, but it's not perfect.
50
00:02:54.227 --> 00:02:54.748
I mean, I'm...
51
00:02:55.708 --> 00:02:57.890
I'm the most flawed person on the planet, you know?
52
00:02:57.910 --> 00:03:09.740
So like, there's always stuff that goes down, but you know, as someone that's happily married and in a single, not multi relationship, which we're going to talk about.
53
00:03:09.780 --> 00:03:21.850
I know doc, I think that's always, even if you're not someone that's considered it and I'm not, it's just not my consideration or belief pattern, but I, but it's in everyone's I think thoughts cause it's just so,
54
00:03:23.198 --> 00:03:23.638
I don't know.
55
00:03:24.299 --> 00:03:30.923
Hush, hush, kind of talked about not, you know, the pineapple shirts, everything else.
56
00:03:31.004 --> 00:03:32.685
That's like, OK, the signals.
57
00:03:32.725 --> 00:03:39.349
I mean, Nicole and my wife and I go to enough resorts where it's like we kind of get that look like we feel like we're being checked out.
58
00:03:39.690 --> 00:03:41.851
But it's it's funny.
59
00:03:41.911 --> 00:03:44.033
I'm sure you you've seen and heard it all.
60
00:03:44.093 --> 00:03:44.293
Right.
61
00:03:44.794 --> 00:03:45.014
Oh, yeah.
62
00:03:45.034 --> 00:03:46.676
I mean, I've heard a lot of it, at least.
63
00:03:46.756 --> 00:03:50.179
It's interesting in what you're saying, like the topic that we all want to talk about, right?
64
00:03:50.199 --> 00:03:57.927
Because one survey, for example, showed that 72 percent of people wanted to talk to their doctors about sex, but don't.
65
00:03:58.407 --> 00:04:03.172
Like that's a lot of people with sex on their mind that are like dying to actually talk to somebody.
66
00:04:03.252 --> 00:04:06.215
But I think in this world we were talking about offline.
67
00:04:07.033 --> 00:04:14.838
you know, being like shadow ban, meaning it's hard for me to get the information about sex out on social media and these types of platforms.
68
00:04:15.658 --> 00:04:28.046
So it's like there's still this like hush, hush around it when a lot of what I mean, my work is primarily in helping long term couples have more passion, have longer relationships, stay together, fall in love deeper.
69
00:04:28.086 --> 00:04:28.246
Right.
70
00:04:28.306 --> 00:04:29.067
All these things.
71
00:04:29.867 --> 00:04:36.488
that I think people are actually dying to talk about, but it's very difficult to have, you know, that platform where we can even do this.
72
00:04:36.588 --> 00:04:38.429
So it is hush hush, sadly.
73
00:04:38.809 --> 00:04:48.431
And I think there's a lot we can say about bringing us to the surface and making this more comfortable and just like, you know, sex lives out of balance, if libido is out of balance.
74
00:04:48.451 --> 00:04:52.492
There's so much like, I think, embarrassment that comes with this topic.
75
00:04:53.072 --> 00:04:57.054
And I think the more we can just make this like normal and just be like, well, this is out of balance.
76
00:04:57.074 --> 00:05:03.297
This is just like a sign, just like chronic fatigue or fibromyalgia or any of these other kind of, you know, symptoms.
77
00:05:03.377 --> 00:05:03.617
Right.
78
00:05:03.998 --> 00:05:09.380
This is just a symptom that something in the body, something in the personal life or the relationships out of balance.
79
00:05:09.921 --> 00:05:14.523
And that all that is is a sign that we just need to put time, effort and energy into bringing it back.
80
00:05:24.422 --> 00:05:28.085
I think that you just nailed it right there, Doc.
81
00:05:28.125 --> 00:05:33.228
And I do want you to set up, you know, kind of your background and the types of people that you help.
82
00:05:33.268 --> 00:05:35.289
I mean, it's going to be pretty obvious as we move along.
83
00:05:35.710 --> 00:05:46.257
But I think you just nailed it as, I don't know, when you come up as an adult and, you know, in your 20s, you know, you don't.
84
00:05:46.812 --> 00:05:48.052
I'm not saying you don't have to work on it.
85
00:05:48.172 --> 00:05:50.093
There's a lot of immaturity and other things that go on.
86
00:05:50.293 --> 00:05:59.956
But some things that just kind of happen naturally because you don't have the rigors of life, children, multiple jobs, careers, everything that kind of comes with time.
87
00:06:00.836 --> 00:06:03.897
And balancing that, you have to work on these things.
88
00:06:04.317 --> 00:06:06.258
It's like going to the gym or anything else.
89
00:06:06.618 --> 00:06:20.004
It doesn't just happen naturally, perfectly, like the perfect balance of sex and, you know, having equal amounts of any one thing in your relationship that keeps things in line.
90
00:06:20.584 --> 00:06:25.686
You have to want to work on it and to go to specialists like yourself and talk about these things.
91
00:06:26.087 --> 00:06:26.447
And I think.
92
00:06:26.967 --> 00:06:27.227
I don't know.
93
00:06:27.247 --> 00:06:33.214
I think we take some things for granted or just assume we can't get better in all aspects of what we do.
94
00:06:33.274 --> 00:06:35.737
But I think that's what you do.
95
00:06:36.478 --> 00:06:39.482
And with that, I'll let you kind of tee up that very point.
96
00:06:39.883 --> 00:06:44.145
So I'm going to explain this by giving people an actionable step.
97
00:06:44.165 --> 00:06:50.569
And this is a step that I use with a lot of couples that come into my work, which is just kind of a point of awareness.
98
00:06:50.589 --> 00:06:53.610
Because what you're saying around, oh, we have to make time for this, right?
99
00:06:53.650 --> 00:06:56.372
Just like the gym, anything else is so right on.
100
00:06:57.325 --> 00:07:07.688
So one of the kind of aha moments that helps my clients is in starting with an exercise where you make a value list of all the things that you value the most in life.
101
00:07:07.948 --> 00:07:09.849
And really you can do like the top five.
102
00:07:10.449 --> 00:07:14.170
And hopefully your partner, your intimate partner is like right there at the top, right?
103
00:07:14.190 --> 00:07:14.710
Right.
104
00:07:15.110 --> 00:07:22.975
And then the second part of this exercise is to draw a pie chart, make 24 pieces of the pie representing every hour of the day.
105
00:07:23.516 --> 00:07:27.178
You're going to color some of them in for sleep, hopefully seven to nine hours.
106
00:07:27.518 --> 00:07:30.360
And then you're going to write in what's going on the rest of the day.
107
00:07:30.380 --> 00:07:40.207
And it is amazing to me how many people, when they do this exercise, find a huge discrepancy from the top two or three things they value the most.
108
00:07:41.047 --> 00:07:41.828
And their pie chart.
109
00:07:42.349 --> 00:07:48.658
So this is a, I do this exercise, you know, just because it's like any other data tracking device we have, right?
110
00:07:48.678 --> 00:07:57.149
Sometimes when we do our step counts or we track our sleep or any of these other types of metrics we do, it's kind of provides this.
111
00:07:57.650 --> 00:08:00.752
this insight that is, we can't dispute it, right?
112
00:08:00.792 --> 00:08:05.495
It's like that, it's in our face to say, wow, this is really what's happening here.
113
00:08:06.055 --> 00:08:12.039
Now I can't argue it, now I can't have my subconscious or my conscious brain come on and say, hey, it's not really that big of a deal.
114
00:08:12.719 --> 00:08:18.923
And for many people, it's like this aha where all of a sudden we realize, wow, what we value the most,
115
00:08:19.683 --> 00:08:23.866
we don't have even space in our day-to-day or week-to-week life.
116
00:08:24.386 --> 00:08:34.713
So that's really the first thing is just like that point of awareness to say, okay, is there time in our life for our partner from an emotional standpoint, but also from a physical intimacy standpoint?
117
00:08:35.314 --> 00:08:43.760
And once we realize if there is or if there's not, then just like the gym, we start to say, okay, well, where can we fit this in?
118
00:08:44.480 --> 00:08:57.907
And so many times when people fall out of this, you know, this like regular sex, this regular intimacy time of life, one of the tricks is actually to start scheduling it, which initially people are like schedule sex.
119
00:08:57.927 --> 00:08:58.848
This sounds awful.
120
00:08:58.888 --> 00:09:00.209
I just want it to be spontaneous.
121
00:09:01.030 --> 00:09:02.871
But here's the next o'clock, baby.
122
00:09:02.891 --> 00:09:03.771
That's right.
123
00:09:04.291 --> 00:09:04.911
And here's the thing.
124
00:09:04.951 --> 00:09:09.993
Like scheduling it does not mean that you don't also have spontaneous sex.
125
00:09:10.033 --> 00:09:11.794
It's not saying it's always scheduled.
126
00:09:12.274 --> 00:09:19.376
It's just saying, hey, we are putting this in our calendar because we're in a place where if we don't do this, this is not happening.
127
00:09:20.157 --> 00:09:21.057
But here's the catch.
128
00:09:22.183 --> 00:09:32.767
So in the beginning of a relationship, right, when we're just meeting somebody and we're in that dating phase, we're actually always scheduling sex.
129
00:09:32.807 --> 00:09:36.149
And we don't even realize we're doing it because we don't think of it in that way.
130
00:09:36.209 --> 00:09:39.690
But we're starting to say, OK, well, you know, it's a second date.
131
00:09:39.730 --> 00:09:40.630
Are we going to kiss?
132
00:09:40.690 --> 00:09:41.651
Are we going to do this?
133
00:09:41.671 --> 00:09:42.411
Are we going to do that?
134
00:09:42.431 --> 00:09:44.072
And then it's like, are they going to call me?
135
00:09:44.512 --> 00:09:46.933
Okay, we have our third date, what's gonna happen?
136
00:09:46.993 --> 00:09:50.595
Maybe we're gonna get a little more sexy time, maybe we're gonna get a lot of sexy time.
137
00:09:51.156 --> 00:09:59.400
But we start to realize and we start to put into place that hey, most of these dates are going to have some sort of intimacy likely included.
138
00:09:59.840 --> 00:10:02.302
So in many ways we're actually scheduling intimacy.
139
00:10:02.822 --> 00:10:17.673
And it's only when we start to combine our lives, when we start to move in together, when we start to share keys to each other's houses, that we start to say, well, I'm just going to see this person so we don't have to schedule the date night because we're just going to see each other automatically.
140
00:10:18.133 --> 00:10:22.656
So when it's like hot for most people in the beginning, we actually are scheduling it.
141
00:10:22.696 --> 00:10:24.778
So I like people to think about that as well.
142
00:10:25.578 --> 00:10:32.188
Just from that standpoint of, you know, kind of that getting over maybe any problems people have with scheduling it.
143
00:10:32.208 --> 00:10:35.713
And again, like this is not to say we don't have spontaneous intimacy, too.
144
00:10:36.194 --> 00:10:41.402
By putting in the calendar, it's saying this is a priority just like the gym or anything else.
145
00:10:52.127 --> 00:10:56.289
I heard that concept, I want to say 10 years ago, maybe for the first time.
146
00:10:56.949 --> 00:11:06.593
I think there was a guy that was well ahead of the biohacking and or mental space, the quantum.
147
00:11:06.933 --> 00:11:09.194
He was a little ethereal for me.
148
00:11:09.874 --> 00:11:10.954
I've come around a little bit.
149
00:11:10.974 --> 00:11:11.915
Chris can attest to that.
150
00:11:12.015 --> 00:11:17.077
But he used that concept that it always made sense to me.
151
00:11:17.257 --> 00:11:19.658
And you kind of talked about that with mapping out all the time.
152
00:11:20.350 --> 00:11:23.934
I mean, you have to make space for things.
153
00:11:24.414 --> 00:11:25.796
It doesn't just happen.
154
00:11:26.296 --> 00:11:39.590
You know, whether that's what we're talking about here, going to the gym, health, exercise, spending time with your kids, like whatever it is, like you have to carve out space and measure what's available.
155
00:11:39.670 --> 00:11:41.692
I mean, we only have so many hours in the day.
156
00:11:42.631 --> 00:11:45.572
And so you have to be intentional with making that space.
157
00:11:46.453 --> 00:11:50.335
And I don't think we talk about that quite enough.
158
00:11:51.115 --> 00:11:52.156
I don't think we do either.
159
00:11:52.396 --> 00:11:53.336
I don't think we do either.
160
00:11:53.356 --> 00:11:59.179
I think once we, like I said, once we move in together, I think there's just elements of thinking, hey, this is going to happen.
161
00:11:59.939 --> 00:12:05.162
But here's another interesting thing that happens, especially from a standpoint of heterosexual couples,
162
00:12:06.067 --> 00:12:10.209
Where often in long-term relationship, they experience this level of desire mismatch.
163
00:12:10.249 --> 00:12:11.810
And it can go either way.
164
00:12:11.850 --> 00:12:17.333
But most commonly, it's like the masculine desire is greater than the feminine desire.
165
00:12:18.319 --> 00:12:27.988
And one of the reasons for this is because we are not taught this, but we actually see this in science and research that for men, desire comes before arousal.
166
00:12:28.569 --> 00:12:30.991
And for women, arousal comes before desire.
167
00:12:31.191 --> 00:12:32.612
So what do I mean by that?
168
00:12:33.333 --> 00:12:36.436
Desires of the mind, arousal is of the body.
169
00:12:36.956 --> 00:12:39.719
So I'll give this to you in an example so you understand this.
170
00:12:39.799 --> 00:12:43.342
And I'm going to relate this back to why scheduling can be beneficial.
171
00:12:44.346 --> 00:12:51.332
So how how being turned on typically works for a man desire before arousal is something like this.
172
00:12:51.812 --> 00:12:55.535
Man sees his lovely wife, his lovely girlfriend walk through the kitchen.
173
00:12:55.555 --> 00:12:57.057
Her her ass.
174
00:12:57.077 --> 00:12:58.137
I don't know if I can say that.
175
00:12:58.157 --> 00:12:59.479
Her butt is.
176
00:12:59.699 --> 00:13:00.599
Oh, yeah.
177
00:13:00.980 --> 00:13:01.700
OK, good.
178
00:13:01.760 --> 00:13:03.322
It's like jiggling as she walks.
179
00:13:03.342 --> 00:13:04.623
Her breasts are bouncing.
180
00:13:04.703 --> 00:13:06.845
It's like, you know, this beautiful sight.
181
00:13:07.605 --> 00:13:12.488
And man thinks he sees this side and all of a sudden he's like, wow, that's like really yummy looking.
182
00:13:12.908 --> 00:13:13.189
Right.
183
00:13:13.549 --> 00:13:18.112
And then all of a sudden the arousal, the blood flow to the genitals change.
184
00:13:18.572 --> 00:13:19.633
And so that's arousal.
185
00:13:19.733 --> 00:13:23.815
First, there's that that desire, that that insight into that looks yummy.
186
00:13:24.276 --> 00:13:26.097
Then the arousal, the body responds.
187
00:13:27.152 --> 00:13:29.594
for women, it is opposite.
188
00:13:29.614 --> 00:13:41.586
And this is the problem with desire mismatch is a lot of women, especially in long-term relationships, when those new relationship energy chemicals are gone, are waiting for their mind to kick on to say, I want this.
189
00:13:42.247 --> 00:13:45.350
But that doesn't happen typically because arousal comes first.
190
00:13:45.390 --> 00:13:50.194
So what this means for the woman is, and here's another example of what ladies will tell me.
191
00:13:51.067 --> 00:13:56.748
I've also seen this in my own personal experience of like, okay, not really in the mood, gonna do it anyways.
192
00:13:57.448 --> 00:14:06.050
And, you know, start really feeling into the sensations of the body and like, okay, letting go the stress of the day and 15 to 20 minutes into it.
193
00:14:06.110 --> 00:14:09.391
So now my body's been aroused 15 to 20 minutes into it.
194
00:14:09.491 --> 00:14:13.712
Then there's a thought in the brain that says, huh, this actually feels kind of good.
195
00:14:14.412 --> 00:14:19.773
And then this is where the lady at the end of making love will might say to her partner something like, that was really great.
196
00:14:19.793 --> 00:14:20.893
Why don't we do that more often?
197
00:14:22.134 --> 00:14:22.434
Right.
198
00:14:22.934 --> 00:14:27.437
And that's because for women, we are expecting the desire to come first.
199
00:14:27.517 --> 00:14:34.342
But that moment where she's aroused and she has that thought of, hmm, this feels good.
200
00:14:35.123 --> 00:14:36.824
That's when it kicks into the desire.
201
00:14:36.904 --> 00:14:39.346
That's when it kicks into the brain that says, I want this.
202
00:14:40.066 --> 00:14:42.388
So how does this relate to the concept of scheduling?
203
00:14:43.166 --> 00:14:46.227
Well, if we only have so much time, right?
204
00:14:46.247 --> 00:14:49.349
Sometimes the spontaneous sex, it's like there's only so much time.
205
00:14:49.389 --> 00:14:51.950
We're sneaking it in between the kids and all these things.
206
00:14:52.490 --> 00:14:58.793
And there might not be the same level of time to actually have a woman really be able to drop into her arousal system.
207
00:14:59.588 --> 00:15:10.859
When we have a plan for this, there can be a sense of like, okay, honey, you go upstairs, you draw yourself a bath, you get into your sensual body, you drop the day, start to get yourself aroused.
208
00:15:11.419 --> 00:15:15.023
I got the dishes, I got the kids, you go just start taking care of yourself.
209
00:15:15.743 --> 00:15:17.904
Or, hey, I'll be up there in a few minutes.
210
00:15:18.124 --> 00:15:19.705
I'm going to give you a sensual massage.
211
00:15:19.745 --> 00:15:23.627
Let's just get you back in your body and let's start there because we've created the space for it.
212
00:15:24.107 --> 00:15:30.331
And that is allowing that woman to actually start to get into her body and feel the sensations that allows that arousal.
213
00:15:30.351 --> 00:15:32.712
And then that desire will come second.
214
00:15:33.632 --> 00:15:34.673
That makes a lot of sense.
215
00:15:36.054 --> 00:15:36.234
Yeah.
216
00:15:36.314 --> 00:15:37.494
And I wish that makes sense.
217
00:15:37.634 --> 00:15:38.195
I don't know.
218
00:15:38.215 --> 00:15:40.356
That kind of light bulb went off for me there.
219
00:15:40.376 --> 00:15:42.177
I don't think I've ever heard it that way.
220
00:15:42.817 --> 00:15:44.478
I mean, I'm not married and have no kids, but I,
221
00:15:45.270 --> 00:16:12.961
You know, I mean, I know that's just from what I'm aware of now is women, at the very least need to feel safe in their bodies and jumping their bones isn't always the best way to make that happen, especially like you said, if you're carrying the stressors of the day and you're thinking about this and that, nowadays we're all so over simulated right with social media and news or whatever that, but I can see like,
222
00:16:13.981 --> 00:16:22.423
hey, you go do this and self-regulate a little bit, get into your zone and be more open to receive, right?
223
00:16:22.483 --> 00:16:23.964
Am I hearing this kind of correctly?
224
00:16:24.384 --> 00:16:24.944
Correct.
225
00:16:24.964 --> 00:16:32.346
Because the other thing is looking at men are from Mars, women are from Venus, the female brain versus the masculine brain.
226
00:16:33.066 --> 00:16:40.268
And one of the greatest insights I got from this came from the woman Alison Armstrong, who has a great book called The Queen's Code.
227
00:16:40.708 --> 00:16:50.551
But she talks about, hey, when testosterone impacts the masculine brain, one of the things it does is it allows the masculine brain to focus, right?
228
00:16:50.611 --> 00:16:57.953
So this is, you know, the classic stereotypical man watching a sports game, woman like, hey, honey, and he's like, so focused on the game.
229
00:16:58.753 --> 00:17:02.734
And that's the masculine, that's the masculine superpower being able to focus.
230
00:17:02.894 --> 00:17:08.056
Well, estrogen, the way the blood flows to different regions of the brain and the estrogen brain.
231
00:17:09.233 --> 00:17:11.715
allows for much more of a diffuse level of awareness.
232
00:17:11.775 --> 00:17:24.906
So this is why a woman walks into the room, and in two seconds, she can see the pillows out of place, the water's boiling on the stove, she has a phone call she's answering, she hears the kid crying, and she's attuning to all of these things simultaneously.
233
00:17:25.446 --> 00:17:27.208
That's the superpower of the female brain.
234
00:17:27.768 --> 00:17:42.577
So when it comes to sex and intimacy, because of the masculine power of compartmentalization, of super focus, of all of that, men tend to have a much easier time being like, wow, this is amazing, I am focused on just this thing now.
235
00:17:43.337 --> 00:17:49.724
And women, because of that diffused level of awareness, like when there's, you know, this is always like a sad thing sometimes for men to hear.
236
00:17:50.185 --> 00:17:59.635
But sometimes in those like intimate moments where it's like kissing starts and like there's all that hotness and he's becoming super focused on her, she still might be doing her grocery list in her head.
237
00:18:00.000 --> 00:18:10.626
I want to get to a topic that we talked about before the episode that I know you're well-versed on the, the mini versus one partner, uh, both married, non-married.
238
00:18:11.366 --> 00:18:12.347
Uh, I want to come to that.
239
00:18:12.467 --> 00:18:18.950
That's a juicy part, but the mismatch of, I would think this is pretty common.
240
00:18:19.290 --> 00:18:26.394
You know, we've, we've kind of gone down the path of the differences of men, men and women, the arousal versus emotion versus all those things.
241
00:18:27.615 --> 00:18:27.975
Now, you,
242
00:18:29.170 --> 00:18:31.791
Let's just say there's a mismatch.
243
00:18:31.951 --> 00:18:34.673
And that's probably one of the most common things you deal with.
244
00:18:35.193 --> 00:18:41.736
So no matter what the differences are, how does a couple get through the mismatch?
245
00:18:42.216 --> 00:18:47.739
If it's truly just a mismatch, you know, just one person's wired one way, one's wired a different.
246
00:18:48.119 --> 00:18:53.102
And maybe there's circumstances that make it that way, but you have the mismatch.
247
00:18:53.342 --> 00:18:55.403
How does one survive that?
248
00:18:55.643 --> 00:18:59.886
Yeah, I have a course that is a six-week course on this topic.
249
00:18:59.946 --> 00:19:04.488
So point being, we can only get to so much in our time phase, sadly.
250
00:19:04.889 --> 00:19:10.672
But I do always want to make sure I give immediate value and immediate action steps for people.
251
00:19:11.212 --> 00:19:14.454
So one of the first things is that awareness, right?
252
00:19:15.135 --> 00:19:21.358
One of the second things is actually to talk about what's besides sex is interesting to people.
253
00:19:21.418 --> 00:19:23.660
Because sometimes we find situations where –
254
00:19:24.280 --> 00:19:36.970
For one partner, oftentimes it's the woman that is like, wow, I just can't bring myself to have penetrative sex at the, you know, every day or, you know, four times a week frequency that maybe a partner might want.
255
00:19:37.711 --> 00:19:49.140
But when we talk about other ways to be intimate, sometimes we find that, oh, wow, I would actually be available for massage with happy endings or I would actually be available for like co-self-pleasure activities.
256
00:19:49.760 --> 00:20:05.795
So there's ways sometimes when we broaden what sex actually is that sometimes we can find that we can be closer to coming together in those intimate sexual expressions than we want or than we think we could by just broadening the definition of sex.
257
00:20:06.435 --> 00:20:07.796
So that's a huge thing.
258
00:20:08.717 --> 00:20:18.061
We also have to look at the reasons for low libido from a physical standpoint, because sometimes there is this arousal desire issue like we talked about earlier.
259
00:20:18.741 --> 00:20:20.422
Sometimes there's physical reasons, right?
260
00:20:20.762 --> 00:20:26.765
It's like there's pelvic pain, there's circulation issues, there's stress, there's hormonal issues.
261
00:20:27.385 --> 00:20:30.207
So I have another freebie for your audience.
262
00:20:30.247 --> 00:20:35.489
If people go to libidoquiz.com, so we did libidocode.com, now we're doing libidoquiz.com.
263
00:20:35.850 --> 00:20:49.597
You can take a free quiz that will tell you, based upon your quiz answers, the top physical root causes that are probably leading to your low libido and will give you lab tests to ask your doctors about because I find that most conventional docs –
264
00:20:50.177 --> 00:20:52.399
are not running the thorough tests, right?
265
00:20:52.439 --> 00:21:04.127
So it'll give you that list of like, here's your list, take this list to your doctor, be an advocate for yourself and make sure you get all of these things tested to figure out if this is truly part of that desire issue.
266
00:21:04.427 --> 00:21:09.050
Because sometimes it is, it's just a physical imbalance that is like lowering that libido as well.
267
00:21:18.943 --> 00:21:19.964
So how do you tackle that?
268
00:21:21.425 --> 00:21:27.029
Last point, because I know we'll get people to go through your tests and those things like that, because it could be a lot of different variables.
269
00:21:27.089 --> 00:21:28.570
But I think that's a good one.
270
00:21:29.271 --> 00:21:34.975
Let's say it's a chemical, a physical time in life.
271
00:21:35.516 --> 00:21:38.058
Whatever it is, it's causing it.
272
00:21:38.458 --> 00:21:39.139
It's no one's fault.
273
00:21:39.159 --> 00:21:40.059
It's natural.
274
00:21:40.079 --> 00:21:40.600
It's natural.
275
00:21:42.410 --> 00:21:44.492
but it's still an imbalance of libido.
276
00:21:45.233 --> 00:21:48.376
And one person's dealing with one thing, one's dealing with another.
277
00:21:48.397 --> 00:21:57.927
How do you come to the middle when it's no one's fault, but it's a physical thing, and it maybe can't be repaired within a month or six months?
278
00:21:58.588 --> 00:22:00.390
How do you fix that?
279
00:22:00.910 --> 00:22:07.795
I mean, if it's truly a physical reason, right, then I do believe that we can find the root cause, right?
280
00:22:07.835 --> 00:22:14.520
I mean, sometimes it is much more dramatic things, mold illness, stealth hidden infections, right?
281
00:22:14.540 --> 00:22:19.684
There's a lot of hidden longer term things beyond some of the basics.
282
00:22:20.164 --> 00:22:23.427
But I do believe that we can figure it out because that's what I've seen.
283
00:22:24.207 --> 00:22:25.628
in my 15 years of practice.
284
00:22:26.448 --> 00:22:28.529
That being said, you raise a good point, right?
285
00:22:28.569 --> 00:22:38.233
So if there is a longer term time to solve this because of whatever comes up from a root cause perspective is something that's not going to be a quick fix, right?
286
00:22:38.353 --> 00:22:39.314
What do we do then?
287
00:22:39.934 --> 00:22:46.937
That is exactly why we brought in our definition of sex because like I said, like oftentimes it can be like, okay, well,
288
00:22:47.357 --> 00:22:50.999
You know, the one person might want penetrative sex the other day and, you know, every day.
289
00:22:51.019 --> 00:22:54.201
But the other person's like, well, I can be available for that weekly.
290
00:22:54.641 --> 00:22:58.764
But here's the other ways that I can actually be available to physically connect with you.
291
00:22:59.544 --> 00:23:03.667
And that's and I've seen like a lot of couples do really well with things like.
292
00:23:04.465 --> 00:23:10.788
you know, co-masturbation or doing massages with happy endings to kind of fill in some of those gaps.
293
00:23:11.229 --> 00:23:17.832
So the idea here is to be as creative as possible about what intimacy can look like, right?
294
00:23:17.872 --> 00:23:25.837
And the more that we're as creative as possible, the more we can start to have conversations around what would feel like a win for both of us and how this could be.
295
00:23:26.637 --> 00:23:28.278
And it's a lot of conversation.
296
00:23:28.498 --> 00:23:29.178
It really is.
297
00:23:29.238 --> 00:23:37.163
And it might not mean that, okay, well, if one partner wants penetrative sex the other every day, it might not mean that that's like what happens in the end.
298
00:23:37.663 --> 00:23:46.008
But we might find a place where it's like that person that wants that actually is realizing like, hey, like, okay, that would be my total target ideal.
299
00:23:46.468 --> 00:23:52.831
However, now we're doing that some and now we're doing all these other things that are actually bringing a lot of novelty and fun.
300
00:23:52.911 --> 00:23:57.954
So while that might be ideal, this is like right up there with like, you know, being like,
301
00:23:58.274 --> 00:24:10.098
almost as exciting as that because now we're being creative to find other ways of being sexually intimate that is, you know, it's something is our places that we can both actually, you know, receive benefit from.
302
00:24:10.118 --> 00:24:16.320
Like, you know, there's a this amazing there's a couple of these on the market, these amazing vibrators that heat up.
303
00:24:17.160 --> 00:24:26.191
And I can't tell you what these vibrators that heat up do to alleviate anything from menstrual cramps for women when they're used to pelvic pain and menopause.
304
00:24:26.752 --> 00:24:28.534
And so it's like, oh, we use that.
305
00:24:28.574 --> 00:24:30.297
And it's like, you know, you're helping your woman.
306
00:24:30.317 --> 00:24:30.497
Yeah.
307
00:24:31.260 --> 00:24:35.423
have her pain go away while you're playing and while you're bringing it to me.
308
00:24:35.443 --> 00:24:40.486
Now she's interested because it's like, wow, like you're bringing me pleasure, but my pain's also going away.
309
00:24:40.847 --> 00:24:41.227
Okay.
310
00:24:41.487 --> 00:24:43.829
Now I'm interested in showing up and playing in this way.
311
00:24:43.969 --> 00:24:46.951
So it really is a lot of more of those creative kind of conversations.
312
00:24:47.650 --> 00:24:48.250
Good insights.
313
00:24:48.651 --> 00:25:01.577
I think that's, uh, you know, uh, uh, uh, uh, any final thoughts here, Chris, as we let, uh, doctor get on her way, we're going to have all the links to all her stuff and all her quizzes and tests and libido challenges.
314
00:25:03.058 --> 00:25:04.359
I just, I'm appreciative.
315
00:25:04.379 --> 00:25:05.860
You can make the time to come on doc.
316
00:25:05.920 --> 00:25:09.802
And I think it's like, we all said, it's something that should be discussed more.
317
00:25:09.822 --> 00:25:12.483
It's such a big part of our lives that we so hush hush.
318
00:25:12.683 --> 00:25:15.705
So I really appreciate the conversation today and, um,
319
00:25:16.790 --> 00:25:18.051
Go take the quizzes, everyone.
320
00:25:18.091 --> 00:25:18.992
I'm definitely going to do it.
321
00:25:20.714 --> 00:25:21.094
Thank you.
322
00:25:21.114 --> 00:25:22.175
Thank you for having me, everybody.
323
00:25:22.215 --> 00:25:22.776
Appreciate it.
324
00:25:23.176 --> 00:25:24.858
I have a new book coming out soon, too.
325
00:25:24.898 --> 00:25:25.899
It's up for preorder.
326
00:25:25.959 --> 00:25:28.481
So you'll find that on my information as well.
327
00:25:29.002 --> 00:25:29.262
Beautiful.
328
00:25:29.382 --> 00:25:29.702
Perfect.
329
00:25:29.722 --> 00:25:31.304
Want to want it.
330
00:25:31.404 --> 00:25:32.265
Want to want it?
331
00:25:32.525 --> 00:25:33.286
Want to want it.
332
00:25:33.406 --> 00:25:33.546
Yeah.
333
00:25:33.586 --> 00:25:35.328
And you can find it at wanttowantit.com.
334
00:25:35.982 --> 00:25:36.582
I like that.
335
00:25:36.863 --> 00:25:37.323
Yeah.
336
00:25:37.743 --> 00:25:38.704
Thank you, Dr. Mueller.
337
00:25:38.724 --> 00:25:41.505
Hey, guys, you know where to find us, vibescience.com.
338
00:25:41.545 --> 00:25:43.166
You'll find all the back episodes.
339
00:25:43.186 --> 00:25:44.547
You can listen and watch the show.
340
00:25:44.587 --> 00:25:46.188
Don't forget to check us out on YouTube.
341
00:25:46.308 --> 00:25:50.470
You can see the lovely Dr. Mueller in person.
342
00:25:50.810 --> 00:25:55.012
And we'll have all the links to her information, her quizzes, her new books.
343
00:25:55.573 --> 00:25:56.873
Want to want it.
344
00:25:56.974 --> 00:25:58.614
You do have to want to want it.
345
00:25:58.674 --> 00:26:01.656
And what we want is for you to go to your highest five.
346
00:26:01.976 --> 00:26:04.237
We appreciate everyone for listening and watching.
347
00:26:04.478 --> 00:26:05.138
We'll see you next time.
348
00:26:05.618 --> 00:26:06.199
on Vibe Science.
349
00:26:06.639 --> 00:26:09.361
Content discussed on this show is provided for reference and educational purposes.
350
00:26:09.661 --> 00:26:12.863
The content is not an attempt to practice medicine or provide specific medical advice.
351
00:26:13.243 --> 00:26:16.465
Always consult your personal physician for medical advice and proper diagnosis.
352
00:26:17.565 --> 00:26:18.306
Thanks for listening.
353
00:26:18.806 --> 00:26:19.747
This is Vibe Science.
354
00:26:20.427 --> 00:26:25.010
To learn more or watch full episodes, visit vibesciencepodcast.com.
355
00:26:25.831 --> 00:26:28.032
Here's to discovering your highest vibe.
1
00:00:00.131 --> 00:00:09.660
A lot of women, especially in long-term relationships, when those new relationship energy chemicals are gone, are waiting for their mind to kick on to say, I want this.
2
00:00:09.880 --> 00:00:12.603
But that doesn't happen typically because arousal comes first.
3
00:00:12.623 --> 00:00:17.348
So what this means for the woman, like, okay, not really in the mood, gonna do it anyways.
4
00:00:17.748 --> 00:00:21.952
And, you know, start really feeling into the sensations of the body and like,
5
00:00:22.032 --> 00:00:26.056
okay, letting go of the stress of the day and 15 to 20 minutes into it.
6
00:00:26.116 --> 00:00:29.399
So now my body's been aroused 15 to 20 minutes into it.
7
00:00:29.499 --> 00:00:33.182
Then there's a thought in the brain that says, huh, this actually feels kind of good.
8
00:00:33.362 --> 00:00:38.247
And then this is where the lady at the end of making love will might say to her partner something like, that was really great.
9
00:00:38.267 --> 00:00:39.348
Why don't we do that more often?
10
00:00:40.290 --> 00:00:49.799
This is Vibe Science, a top 100 wellness podcast presented by the Radcast Network, breaking wellness barriers and making health truly personal.
11
00:00:50.279 --> 00:00:51.841
Here's your host, Ryan Alford.
12
00:00:55.792 --> 00:00:58.553
Hello and welcome to Vibe Science.
13
00:00:58.993 --> 00:01:00.734
We're always taking you to your highest vibe.
14
00:01:00.754 --> 00:01:05.096
It's about mind, body, energy, and yes, sex.
15
00:01:05.596 --> 00:01:06.516
That's important too.
16
00:01:07.017 --> 00:01:07.897
Everything's important.
17
00:01:07.997 --> 00:01:10.458
It's a full loop and we don't know it all.
18
00:01:10.738 --> 00:01:12.259
Chris and I are just here to be your guides.
19
00:01:13.259 --> 00:01:19.362
And that's why we have smart people coming on every episode because we're here to be that wellness guide.
20
00:01:20.335 --> 00:01:35.658
place where you learn what how you get to your best level look we don't all have all figured out we need help we need experts what we need is the libido doctor it is dr diane mueller doctor welcome to the show
21
00:01:36.098 --> 00:01:37.179
Oh, thanks, Ryan.
22
00:01:37.239 --> 00:01:38.100
Thanks, Chris.
23
00:01:38.200 --> 00:01:39.561
And you're so right, right?
24
00:01:39.601 --> 00:01:49.608
In the space where we're talking about high vibe, science, longevity, I feel like one of the missing things in the conversation lately is libido and sex.
25
00:01:49.928 --> 00:02:02.457
And in some of the research I've done, as well as what I hope we get your guests and your audience to understand today really is that pleasure is not just about desire, but it's actually something we truly require.
26
00:02:02.797 --> 00:02:03.758
So happy to be here.
27
00:02:04.200 --> 00:02:05.401
Hey, I love that.
28
00:02:05.561 --> 00:02:06.901
I don't feel so guilty, you know?
29
00:02:08.342 --> 00:02:08.642
Yeah.
30
00:02:08.742 --> 00:02:09.943
It's required, damn it.
31
00:02:10.003 --> 00:02:10.583
That's right.
32
00:02:10.683 --> 00:02:11.824
The libido doctor says.
33
00:02:13.124 --> 00:02:13.945
Doctor's orders.
34
00:02:14.325 --> 00:02:15.686
Yeah, Chris, it's required.
35
00:02:15.786 --> 00:02:16.106
Yes.
36
00:02:16.966 --> 00:02:17.506
Celebrate.
37
00:02:18.527 --> 00:02:19.527
I got no problem with that.
38
00:02:20.008 --> 00:02:21.328
Permission for great sex.
39
00:02:22.109 --> 00:02:22.529
I know.
40
00:02:22.769 --> 00:02:24.630
Well, we really appreciate you coming on.
41
00:02:25.510 --> 00:02:26.951
Chris Hansen's down in Miami.
42
00:02:27.571 --> 00:02:29.072
Chris, I love this topic, brother.
43
00:02:29.092 --> 00:02:30.633
I'm so glad we got Dr. Bueller on.
44
00:02:31.237 --> 00:02:31.837
Yeah, I'm pumped.
45
00:02:32.217 --> 00:02:35.119
It should be a very enlightening and interesting episode.
46
00:02:35.139 --> 00:02:39.201
I think that everyone can, everyone's probably dealt with this before.
47
00:02:39.861 --> 00:02:46.004
Yeah, we're trying to break down the walls of these topics that people think about, but don't probably talk about enough.
48
00:02:46.844 --> 00:02:48.645
And I think this is one of them.
49
00:02:48.825 --> 00:02:53.667
I mean, I've been married for 10 years, very happily married, but it's not perfect.
50
00:02:54.227 --> 00:02:54.748
I mean, I'm...
51
00:02:55.708 --> 00:02:57.890
I'm the most flawed person on the planet, you know?
52
00:02:57.910 --> 00:03:09.740
So like, there's always stuff that goes down, but you know, as someone that's happily married and in a single, not multi relationship, which we're going to talk about.
53
00:03:09.780 --> 00:03:21.850
I know doc, I think that's always, even if you're not someone that's considered it and I'm not, it's just not my consideration or belief pattern, but I, but it's in everyone's I think thoughts cause it's just so,
54
00:03:23.198 --> 00:03:23.638
I don't know.
55
00:03:24.299 --> 00:03:30.923
Hush, hush, kind of talked about not, you know, the pineapple shirts, everything else.
56
00:03:31.004 --> 00:03:32.685
That's like, OK, the signals.
57
00:03:32.725 --> 00:03:39.349
I mean, Nicole and my wife and I go to enough resorts where it's like we kind of get that look like we feel like we're being checked out.
58
00:03:39.690 --> 00:03:41.851
But it's it's funny.
59
00:03:41.911 --> 00:03:44.033
I'm sure you you've seen and heard it all.
60
00:03:44.093 --> 00:03:44.293
Right.
61
00:03:44.794 --> 00:03:45.014
Oh, yeah.
62
00:03:45.034 --> 00:03:46.676
I mean, I've heard a lot of it, at least.
63
00:03:46.756 --> 00:03:50.179
It's interesting in what you're saying, like the topic that we all want to talk about, right?
64
00:03:50.199 --> 00:03:57.927
Because one survey, for example, showed that 72 percent of people wanted to talk to their doctors about sex, but don't.
65
00:03:58.407 --> 00:04:03.172
Like that's a lot of people with sex on their mind that are like dying to actually talk to somebody.
66
00:04:03.252 --> 00:04:06.215
But I think in this world we were talking about offline.
67
00:04:07.033 --> 00:04:14.838
you know, being like shadow ban, meaning it's hard for me to get the information about sex out on social media and these types of platforms.
68
00:04:15.658 --> 00:04:28.046
So it's like there's still this like hush, hush around it when a lot of what I mean, my work is primarily in helping long term couples have more passion, have longer relationships, stay together, fall in love deeper.
69
00:04:28.086 --> 00:04:28.246
Right.
70
00:04:28.306 --> 00:04:29.067
All these things.
71
00:04:29.867 --> 00:04:36.488
that I think people are actually dying to talk about, but it's very difficult to have, you know, that platform where we can even do this.
72
00:04:36.588 --> 00:04:38.429
So it is hush hush, sadly.
73
00:04:38.809 --> 00:04:48.431
And I think there's a lot we can say about bringing us to the surface and making this more comfortable and just like, you know, sex lives out of balance, if libido is out of balance.
74
00:04:48.451 --> 00:04:52.492
There's so much like, I think, embarrassment that comes with this topic.
75
00:04:53.072 --> 00:04:57.054
And I think the more we can just make this like normal and just be like, well, this is out of balance.
76
00:04:57.074 --> 00:05:03.297
This is just like a sign, just like chronic fatigue or fibromyalgia or any of these other kind of, you know, symptoms.
77
00:05:03.377 --> 00:05:03.617
Right.
78
00:05:03.998 --> 00:05:09.380
This is just a symptom that something in the body, something in the personal life or the relationships out of balance.
79
00:05:09.921 --> 00:05:14.523
And that all that is is a sign that we just need to put time, effort and energy into bringing it back.
80
00:05:24.422 --> 00:05:28.085
I think that you just nailed it right there, Doc.
81
00:05:28.125 --> 00:05:33.228
And I do want you to set up, you know, kind of your background and the types of people that you help.
82
00:05:33.268 --> 00:05:35.289
I mean, it's going to be pretty obvious as we move along.
83
00:05:35.710 --> 00:05:46.257
But I think you just nailed it as, I don't know, when you come up as an adult and, you know, in your 20s, you know, you don't.
84
00:05:46.812 --> 00:05:48.052
I'm not saying you don't have to work on it.
85
00:05:48.172 --> 00:05:50.093
There's a lot of immaturity and other things that go on.
86
00:05:50.293 --> 00:05:59.956
But some things that just kind of happen naturally because you don't have the rigors of life, children, multiple jobs, careers, everything that kind of comes with time.
87
00:06:00.836 --> 00:06:03.897
And balancing that, you have to work on these things.
88
00:06:04.317 --> 00:06:06.258
It's like going to the gym or anything else.
89
00:06:06.618 --> 00:06:20.004
It doesn't just happen naturally, perfectly, like the perfect balance of sex and, you know, having equal amounts of any one thing in your relationship that keeps things in line.
90
00:06:20.584 --> 00:06:25.686
You have to want to work on it and to go to specialists like yourself and talk about these things.
91
00:06:26.087 --> 00:06:26.447
And I think.
92
00:06:26.967 --> 00:06:27.227
I don't know.
93
00:06:27.247 --> 00:06:33.214
I think we take some things for granted or just assume we can't get better in all aspects of what we do.
94
00:06:33.274 --> 00:06:35.737
But I think that's what you do.
95
00:06:36.478 --> 00:06:39.482
And with that, I'll let you kind of tee up that very point.
96
00:06:39.883 --> 00:06:44.145
So I'm going to explain this by giving people an actionable step.
97
00:06:44.165 --> 00:06:50.569
And this is a step that I use with a lot of couples that come into my work, which is just kind of a point of awareness.
98
00:06:50.589 --> 00:06:53.610
Because what you're saying around, oh, we have to make time for this, right?
99
00:06:53.650 --> 00:06:56.372
Just like the gym, anything else is so right on.
100
00:06:57.325 --> 00:07:07.688
So one of the kind of aha moments that helps my clients is in starting with an exercise where you make a value list of all the things that you value the most in life.
101
00:07:07.948 --> 00:07:09.849
And really you can do like the top five.
102
00:07:10.449 --> 00:07:14.170
And hopefully your partner, your intimate partner is like right there at the top, right?
103
00:07:14.190 --> 00:07:14.710
Right.
104
00:07:15.110 --> 00:07:22.975
And then the second part of this exercise is to draw a pie chart, make 24 pieces of the pie representing every hour of the day.
105
00:07:23.516 --> 00:07:27.178
You're going to color some of them in for sleep, hopefully seven to nine hours.
106
00:07:27.518 --> 00:07:30.360
And then you're going to write in what's going on the rest of the day.
107
00:07:30.380 --> 00:07:40.207
And it is amazing to me how many people, when they do this exercise, find a huge discrepancy from the top two or three things they value the most.
108
00:07:41.047 --> 00:07:41.828
And their pie chart.
109
00:07:42.349 --> 00:07:48.658
So this is a, I do this exercise, you know, just because it's like any other data tracking device we have, right?
110
00:07:48.678 --> 00:07:57.149
Sometimes when we do our step counts or we track our sleep or any of these other types of metrics we do, it's kind of provides this.
111
00:07:57.650 --> 00:08:00.752
this insight that is, we can't dispute it, right?
112
00:08:00.792 --> 00:08:05.495
It's like that, it's in our face to say, wow, this is really what's happening here.
113
00:08:06.055 --> 00:08:12.039
Now I can't argue it, now I can't have my subconscious or my conscious brain come on and say, hey, it's not really that big of a deal.
114
00:08:12.719 --> 00:08:18.923
And for many people, it's like this aha where all of a sudden we realize, wow, what we value the most,
115
00:08:19.683 --> 00:08:23.866
we don't have even space in our day-to-day or week-to-week life.
116
00:08:24.386 --> 00:08:34.713
So that's really the first thing is just like that point of awareness to say, okay, is there time in our life for our partner from an emotional standpoint, but also from a physical intimacy standpoint?
117
00:08:35.314 --> 00:08:43.760
And once we realize if there is or if there's not, then just like the gym, we start to say, okay, well, where can we fit this in?
118
00:08:44.480 --> 00:08:57.907
And so many times when people fall out of this, you know, this like regular sex, this regular intimacy time of life, one of the tricks is actually to start scheduling it, which initially people are like schedule sex.
119
00:08:57.927 --> 00:08:58.848
This sounds awful.
120
00:08:58.888 --> 00:09:00.209
I just want it to be spontaneous.
121
00:09:01.030 --> 00:09:02.871
But here's the next o'clock, baby.
122
00:09:02.891 --> 00:09:03.771
That's right.
123
00:09:04.291 --> 00:09:04.911
And here's the thing.
124
00:09:04.951 --> 00:09:09.993
Like scheduling it does not mean that you don't also have spontaneous sex.
125
00:09:10.033 --> 00:09:11.794
It's not saying it's always scheduled.
126
00:09:12.274 --> 00:09:19.376
It's just saying, hey, we are putting this in our calendar because we're in a place where if we don't do this, this is not happening.
127
00:09:20.157 --> 00:09:21.057
But here's the catch.
128
00:09:22.183 --> 00:09:32.767
So in the beginning of a relationship, right, when we're just meeting somebody and we're in that dating phase, we're actually always scheduling sex.
129
00:09:32.807 --> 00:09:36.149
And we don't even realize we're doing it because we don't think of it in that way.
130
00:09:36.209 --> 00:09:39.690
But we're starting to say, OK, well, you know, it's a second date.
131
00:09:39.730 --> 00:09:40.630
Are we going to kiss?
132
00:09:40.690 --> 00:09:41.651
Are we going to do this?
133
00:09:41.671 --> 00:09:42.411
Are we going to do that?
134
00:09:42.431 --> 00:09:44.072
And then it's like, are they going to call me?
135
00:09:44.512 --> 00:09:46.933
Okay, we have our third date, what's gonna happen?
136
00:09:46.993 --> 00:09:50.595
Maybe we're gonna get a little more sexy time, maybe we're gonna get a lot of sexy time.
137
00:09:51.156 --> 00:09:59.400
But we start to realize and we start to put into place that hey, most of these dates are going to have some sort of intimacy likely included.
138
00:09:59.840 --> 00:10:02.302
So in many ways we're actually scheduling intimacy.
139
00:10:02.822 --> 00:10:17.673
And it's only when we start to combine our lives, when we start to move in together, when we start to share keys to each other's houses, that we start to say, well, I'm just going to see this person so we don't have to schedule the date night because we're just going to see each other automatically.
140
00:10:18.133 --> 00:10:22.656
So when it's like hot for most people in the beginning, we actually are scheduling it.
141
00:10:22.696 --> 00:10:24.778
So I like people to think about that as well.
142
00:10:25.578 --> 00:10:32.188
Just from that standpoint of, you know, kind of that getting over maybe any problems people have with scheduling it.
143
00:10:32.208 --> 00:10:35.713
And again, like this is not to say we don't have spontaneous intimacy, too.
144
00:10:36.194 --> 00:10:41.402
By putting in the calendar, it's saying this is a priority just like the gym or anything else.
145
00:10:52.127 --> 00:10:56.289
I heard that concept, I want to say 10 years ago, maybe for the first time.
146
00:10:56.949 --> 00:11:06.593
I think there was a guy that was well ahead of the biohacking and or mental space, the quantum.
147
00:11:06.933 --> 00:11:09.194
He was a little ethereal for me.
148
00:11:09.874 --> 00:11:10.954
I've come around a little bit.
149
00:11:10.974 --> 00:11:11.915
Chris can attest to that.
150
00:11:12.015 --> 00:11:17.077
But he used that concept that it always made sense to me.
151
00:11:17.257 --> 00:11:19.658
And you kind of talked about that with mapping out all the time.
152
00:11:20.350 --> 00:11:23.934
I mean, you have to make space for things.
153
00:11:24.414 --> 00:11:25.796
It doesn't just happen.
154
00:11:26.296 --> 00:11:39.590
You know, whether that's what we're talking about here, going to the gym, health, exercise, spending time with your kids, like whatever it is, like you have to carve out space and measure what's available.
155
00:11:39.670 --> 00:11:41.692
I mean, we only have so many hours in the day.
156
00:11:42.631 --> 00:11:45.572
And so you have to be intentional with making that space.
157
00:11:46.453 --> 00:11:50.335
And I don't think we talk about that quite enough.
158
00:11:51.115 --> 00:11:52.156
I don't think we do either.
159
00:11:52.396 --> 00:11:53.336
I don't think we do either.
160
00:11:53.356 --> 00:11:59.179
I think once we, like I said, once we move in together, I think there's just elements of thinking, hey, this is going to happen.
161
00:11:59.939 --> 00:12:05.162
But here's another interesting thing that happens, especially from a standpoint of heterosexual couples,
162
00:12:06.067 --> 00:12:10.209
Where often in long-term relationship, they experience this level of desire mismatch.
163
00:12:10.249 --> 00:12:11.810
And it can go either way.
164
00:12:11.850 --> 00:12:17.333
But most commonly, it's like the masculine desire is greater than the feminine desire.
165
00:12:18.319 --> 00:12:27.988
And one of the reasons for this is because we are not taught this, but we actually see this in science and research that for men, desire comes before arousal.
166
00:12:28.569 --> 00:12:30.991
And for women, arousal comes before desire.
167
00:12:31.191 --> 00:12:32.612
So what do I mean by that?
168
00:12:33.333 --> 00:12:36.436
Desires of the mind, arousal is of the body.
169
00:12:36.956 --> 00:12:39.719
So I'll give this to you in an example so you understand this.
170
00:12:39.799 --> 00:12:43.342
And I'm going to relate this back to why scheduling can be beneficial.
171
00:12:44.346 --> 00:12:51.332
So how how being turned on typically works for a man desire before arousal is something like this.
172
00:12:51.812 --> 00:12:55.535
Man sees his lovely wife, his lovely girlfriend walk through the kitchen.
173
00:12:55.555 --> 00:12:57.057
Her her ass.
174
00:12:57.077 --> 00:12:58.137
I don't know if I can say that.
175
00:12:58.157 --> 00:12:59.479
Her butt is.
176
00:12:59.699 --> 00:13:00.599
Oh, yeah.
177
00:13:00.980 --> 00:13:01.700
OK, good.
178
00:13:01.760 --> 00:13:03.322
It's like jiggling as she walks.
179
00:13:03.342 --> 00:13:04.623
Her breasts are bouncing.
180
00:13:04.703 --> 00:13:06.845
It's like, you know, this beautiful sight.
181
00:13:07.605 --> 00:13:12.488
And man thinks he sees this side and all of a sudden he's like, wow, that's like really yummy looking.
182
00:13:12.908 --> 00:13:13.189
Right.
183
00:13:13.549 --> 00:13:18.112
And then all of a sudden the arousal, the blood flow to the genitals change.
184
00:13:18.572 --> 00:13:19.633
And so that's arousal.
185
00:13:19.733 --> 00:13:23.815
First, there's that that desire, that that insight into that looks yummy.
186
00:13:24.276 --> 00:13:26.097
Then the arousal, the body responds.
187
00:13:27.152 --> 00:13:29.594
for women, it is opposite.
188
00:13:29.614 --> 00:13:41.586
And this is the problem with desire mismatch is a lot of women, especially in long-term relationships, when those new relationship energy chemicals are gone, are waiting for their mind to kick on to say, I want this.
189
00:13:42.247 --> 00:13:45.350
But that doesn't happen typically because arousal comes first.
190
00:13:45.390 --> 00:13:50.194
So what this means for the woman is, and here's another example of what ladies will tell me.
191
00:13:51.067 --> 00:13:56.748
I've also seen this in my own personal experience of like, okay, not really in the mood, gonna do it anyways.
192
00:13:57.448 --> 00:14:06.050
And, you know, start really feeling into the sensations of the body and like, okay, letting go the stress of the day and 15 to 20 minutes into it.
193
00:14:06.110 --> 00:14:09.391
So now my body's been aroused 15 to 20 minutes into it.
194
00:14:09.491 --> 00:14:13.712
Then there's a thought in the brain that says, huh, this actually feels kind of good.
195
00:14:14.412 --> 00:14:19.773
And then this is where the lady at the end of making love will might say to her partner something like, that was really great.
196
00:14:19.793 --> 00:14:20.893
Why don't we do that more often?
197
00:14:22.134 --> 00:14:22.434
Right.
198
00:14:22.934 --> 00:14:27.437
And that's because for women, we are expecting the desire to come first.
199
00:14:27.517 --> 00:14:34.342
But that moment where she's aroused and she has that thought of, hmm, this feels good.
200
00:14:35.123 --> 00:14:36.824
That's when it kicks into the desire.
201
00:14:36.904 --> 00:14:39.346
That's when it kicks into the brain that says, I want this.
202
00:14:40.066 --> 00:14:42.388
So how does this relate to the concept of scheduling?
203
00:14:43.166 --> 00:14:46.227
Well, if we only have so much time, right?
204
00:14:46.247 --> 00:14:49.349
Sometimes the spontaneous sex, it's like there's only so much time.
205
00:14:49.389 --> 00:14:51.950
We're sneaking it in between the kids and all these things.
206
00:14:52.490 --> 00:14:58.793
And there might not be the same level of time to actually have a woman really be able to drop into her arousal system.
207
00:14:59.588 --> 00:15:10.859
When we have a plan for this, there can be a sense of like, okay, honey, you go upstairs, you draw yourself a bath, you get into your sensual body, you drop the day, start to get yourself aroused.
208
00:15:11.419 --> 00:15:15.023
I got the dishes, I got the kids, you go just start taking care of yourself.
209
00:15:15.743 --> 00:15:17.904
Or, hey, I'll be up there in a few minutes.
210
00:15:18.124 --> 00:15:19.705
I'm going to give you a sensual massage.
211
00:15:19.745 --> 00:15:23.627
Let's just get you back in your body and let's start there because we've created the space for it.
212
00:15:24.107 --> 00:15:30.331
And that is allowing that woman to actually start to get into her body and feel the sensations that allows that arousal.
213
00:15:30.351 --> 00:15:32.712
And then that desire will come second.
214
00:15:33.632 --> 00:15:34.673
That makes a lot of sense.
215
00:15:36.054 --> 00:15:36.234
Yeah.
216
00:15:36.314 --> 00:15:37.494
And I wish that makes sense.
217
00:15:37.634 --> 00:15:38.195
I don't know.
218
00:15:38.215 --> 00:15:40.356
That kind of light bulb went off for me there.
219
00:15:40.376 --> 00:15:42.177
I don't think I've ever heard it that way.
220
00:15:42.817 --> 00:15:44.478
I mean, I'm not married and have no kids, but I,
221
00:15:45.270 --> 00:16:12.961
You know, I mean, I know that's just from what I'm aware of now is women, at the very least need to feel safe in their bodies and jumping their bones isn't always the best way to make that happen, especially like you said, if you're carrying the stressors of the day and you're thinking about this and that, nowadays we're all so over simulated right with social media and news or whatever that, but I can see like,
222
00:16:13.981 --> 00:16:22.423
hey, you go do this and self-regulate a little bit, get into your zone and be more open to receive, right?
223
00:16:22.483 --> 00:16:23.964
Am I hearing this kind of correctly?
224
00:16:24.384 --> 00:16:24.944
Correct.
225
00:16:24.964 --> 00:16:32.346
Because the other thing is looking at men are from Mars, women are from Venus, the female brain versus the masculine brain.
226
00:16:33.066 --> 00:16:40.268
And one of the greatest insights I got from this came from the woman Alison Armstrong, who has a great book called The Queen's Code.
227
00:16:40.708 --> 00:16:50.551
But she talks about, hey, when testosterone impacts the masculine brain, one of the things it does is it allows the masculine brain to focus, right?
228
00:16:50.611 --> 00:16:57.953
So this is, you know, the classic stereotypical man watching a sports game, woman like, hey, honey, and he's like, so focused on the game.
229
00:16:58.753 --> 00:17:02.734
And that's the masculine, that's the masculine superpower being able to focus.
230
00:17:02.894 --> 00:17:08.056
Well, estrogen, the way the blood flows to different regions of the brain and the estrogen brain.
231
00:17:09.233 --> 00:17:11.715
allows for much more of a diffuse level of awareness.
232
00:17:11.775 --> 00:17:24.906
So this is why a woman walks into the room, and in two seconds, she can see the pillows out of place, the water's boiling on the stove, she has a phone call she's answering, she hears the kid crying, and she's attuning to all of these things simultaneously.
233
00:17:25.446 --> 00:17:27.208
That's the superpower of the female brain.
234
00:17:27.768 --> 00:17:42.577
So when it comes to sex and intimacy, because of the masculine power of compartmentalization, of super focus, of all of that, men tend to have a much easier time being like, wow, this is amazing, I am focused on just this thing now.
235
00:17:43.337 --> 00:17:49.724
And women, because of that diffused level of awareness, like when there's, you know, this is always like a sad thing sometimes for men to hear.
236
00:17:50.185 --> 00:17:59.635
But sometimes in those like intimate moments where it's like kissing starts and like there's all that hotness and he's becoming super focused on her, she still might be doing her grocery list in her head.
237
00:18:00.000 --> 00:18:10.626
I want to get to a topic that we talked about before the episode that I know you're well-versed on the, the mini versus one partner, uh, both married, non-married.
238
00:18:11.366 --> 00:18:12.347
Uh, I want to come to that.
239
00:18:12.467 --> 00:18:18.950
That's a juicy part, but the mismatch of, I would think this is pretty common.
240
00:18:19.290 --> 00:18:26.394
You know, we've, we've kind of gone down the path of the differences of men, men and women, the arousal versus emotion versus all those things.
241
00:18:27.615 --> 00:18:27.975
Now, you,
242
00:18:29.170 --> 00:18:31.791
Let's just say there's a mismatch.
243
00:18:31.951 --> 00:18:34.673
And that's probably one of the most common things you deal with.
244
00:18:35.193 --> 00:18:41.736
So no matter what the differences are, how does a couple get through the mismatch?
245
00:18:42.216 --> 00:18:47.739
If it's truly just a mismatch, you know, just one person's wired one way, one's wired a different.
246
00:18:48.119 --> 00:18:53.102
And maybe there's circumstances that make it that way, but you have the mismatch.
247
00:18:53.342 --> 00:18:55.403
How does one survive that?
248
00:18:55.643 --> 00:18:59.886
Yeah, I have a course that is a six-week course on this topic.
249
00:18:59.946 --> 00:19:04.488
So point being, we can only get to so much in our time phase, sadly.
250
00:19:04.889 --> 00:19:10.672
But I do always want to make sure I give immediate value and immediate action steps for people.
251
00:19:11.212 --> 00:19:14.454
So one of the first things is that awareness, right?
252
00:19:15.135 --> 00:19:21.358
One of the second things is actually to talk about what's besides sex is interesting to people.
253
00:19:21.418 --> 00:19:23.660
Because sometimes we find situations where –
254
00:19:24.280 --> 00:19:36.970
For one partner, oftentimes it's the woman that is like, wow, I just can't bring myself to have penetrative sex at the, you know, every day or, you know, four times a week frequency that maybe a partner might want.
255
00:19:37.711 --> 00:19:49.140
But when we talk about other ways to be intimate, sometimes we find that, oh, wow, I would actually be available for massage with happy endings or I would actually be available for like co-self-pleasure activities.
256
00:19:49.760 --> 00:20:05.795
So there's ways sometimes when we broaden what sex actually is that sometimes we can find that we can be closer to coming together in those intimate sexual expressions than we want or than we think we could by just broadening the definition of sex.
257
00:20:06.435 --> 00:20:07.796
So that's a huge thing.
258
00:20:08.717 --> 00:20:18.061
We also have to look at the reasons for low libido from a physical standpoint, because sometimes there is this arousal desire issue like we talked about earlier.
259
00:20:18.741 --> 00:20:20.422
Sometimes there's physical reasons, right?
260
00:20:20.762 --> 00:20:26.765
It's like there's pelvic pain, there's circulation issues, there's stress, there's hormonal issues.
261
00:20:27.385 --> 00:20:30.207
So I have another freebie for your audience.
262
00:20:30.247 --> 00:20:35.489
If people go to libidoquiz.com, so we did libidocode.com, now we're doing libidoquiz.com.
263
00:20:35.850 --> 00:20:49.597
You can take a free quiz that will tell you, based upon your quiz answers, the top physical root causes that are probably leading to your low libido and will give you lab tests to ask your doctors about because I find that most conventional docs –
264
00:20:50.177 --> 00:20:52.399
are not running the thorough tests, right?
265
00:20:52.439 --> 00:21:04.127
So it'll give you that list of like, here's your list, take this list to your doctor, be an advocate for yourself and make sure you get all of these things tested to figure out if this is truly part of that desire issue.
266
00:21:04.427 --> 00:21:09.050
Because sometimes it is, it's just a physical imbalance that is like lowering that libido as well.
267
00:21:18.943 --> 00:21:19.964
So how do you tackle that?
268
00:21:21.425 --> 00:21:27.029
Last point, because I know we'll get people to go through your tests and those things like that, because it could be a lot of different variables.
269
00:21:27.089 --> 00:21:28.570
But I think that's a good one.
270
00:21:29.271 --> 00:21:34.975
Let's say it's a chemical, a physical time in life.
271
00:21:35.516 --> 00:21:38.058
Whatever it is, it's causing it.
272
00:21:38.458 --> 00:21:39.139
It's no one's fault.
273
00:21:39.159 --> 00:21:40.059
It's natural.
274
00:21:40.079 --> 00:21:40.600
It's natural.
275
00:21:42.410 --> 00:21:44.492
but it's still an imbalance of libido.
276
00:21:45.233 --> 00:21:48.376
And one person's dealing with one thing, one's dealing with another.
277
00:21:48.397 --> 00:21:57.927
How do you come to the middle when it's no one's fault, but it's a physical thing, and it maybe can't be repaired within a month or six months?
278
00:21:58.588 --> 00:22:00.390
How do you fix that?
279
00:22:00.910 --> 00:22:07.795
I mean, if it's truly a physical reason, right, then I do believe that we can find the root cause, right?
280
00:22:07.835 --> 00:22:14.520
I mean, sometimes it is much more dramatic things, mold illness, stealth hidden infections, right?
281
00:22:14.540 --> 00:22:19.684
There's a lot of hidden longer term things beyond some of the basics.
282
00:22:20.164 --> 00:22:23.427
But I do believe that we can figure it out because that's what I've seen.
283
00:22:24.207 --> 00:22:25.628
in my 15 years of practice.
284
00:22:26.448 --> 00:22:28.529
That being said, you raise a good point, right?
285
00:22:28.569 --> 00:22:38.233
So if there is a longer term time to solve this because of whatever comes up from a root cause perspective is something that's not going to be a quick fix, right?
286
00:22:38.353 --> 00:22:39.314
What do we do then?
287
00:22:39.934 --> 00:22:46.937
That is exactly why we brought in our definition of sex because like I said, like oftentimes it can be like, okay, well,
288
00:22:47.357 --> 00:22:50.999
You know, the one person might want penetrative sex the other day and, you know, every day.
289
00:22:51.019 --> 00:22:54.201
But the other person's like, well, I can be available for that weekly.
290
00:22:54.641 --> 00:22:58.764
But here's the other ways that I can actually be available to physically connect with you.
291
00:22:59.544 --> 00:23:03.667
And that's and I've seen like a lot of couples do really well with things like.
292
00:23:04.465 --> 00:23:10.788
you know, co-masturbation or doing massages with happy endings to kind of fill in some of those gaps.
293
00:23:11.229 --> 00:23:17.832
So the idea here is to be as creative as possible about what intimacy can look like, right?
294
00:23:17.872 --> 00:23:25.837
And the more that we're as creative as possible, the more we can start to have conversations around what would feel like a win for both of us and how this could be.
295
00:23:26.637 --> 00:23:28.278
And it's a lot of conversation.
296
00:23:28.498 --> 00:23:29.178
It really is.
297
00:23:29.238 --> 00:23:37.163
And it might not mean that, okay, well, if one partner wants penetrative sex the other every day, it might not mean that that's like what happens in the end.
298
00:23:37.663 --> 00:23:46.008
But we might find a place where it's like that person that wants that actually is realizing like, hey, like, okay, that would be my total target ideal.
299
00:23:46.468 --> 00:23:52.831
However, now we're doing that some and now we're doing all these other things that are actually bringing a lot of novelty and fun.
300
00:23:52.911 --> 00:23:57.954
So while that might be ideal, this is like right up there with like, you know, being like,
301
00:23:58.274 --> 00:24:10.098
almost as exciting as that because now we're being creative to find other ways of being sexually intimate that is, you know, it's something is our places that we can both actually, you know, receive benefit from.
302
00:24:10.118 --> 00:24:16.320
Like, you know, there's a this amazing there's a couple of these on the market, these amazing vibrators that heat up.
303
00:24:17.160 --> 00:24:26.191
And I can't tell you what these vibrators that heat up do to alleviate anything from menstrual cramps for women when they're used to pelvic pain and menopause.
304
00:24:26.752 --> 00:24:28.534
And so it's like, oh, we use that.
305
00:24:28.574 --> 00:24:30.297
And it's like, you know, you're helping your woman.
306
00:24:30.317 --> 00:24:30.497
Yeah.
307
00:24:31.260 --> 00:24:35.423
have her pain go away while you're playing and while you're bringing it to me.
308
00:24:35.443 --> 00:24:40.486
Now she's interested because it's like, wow, like you're bringing me pleasure, but my pain's also going away.
309
00:24:40.847 --> 00:24:41.227
Okay.
310
00:24:41.487 --> 00:24:43.829
Now I'm interested in showing up and playing in this way.
311
00:24:43.969 --> 00:24:46.951
So it really is a lot of more of those creative kind of conversations.
312
00:24:47.650 --> 00:24:48.250
Good insights.
313
00:24:48.651 --> 00:25:01.577
I think that's, uh, you know, uh, uh, uh, uh, any final thoughts here, Chris, as we let, uh, doctor get on her way, we're going to have all the links to all her stuff and all her quizzes and tests and libido challenges.
314
00:25:03.058 --> 00:25:04.359
I just, I'm appreciative.
315
00:25:04.379 --> 00:25:05.860
You can make the time to come on doc.
316
00:25:05.920 --> 00:25:09.802
And I think it's like, we all said, it's something that should be discussed more.
317
00:25:09.822 --> 00:25:12.483
It's such a big part of our lives that we so hush hush.
318
00:25:12.683 --> 00:25:15.705
So I really appreciate the conversation today and, um,
319
00:25:16.790 --> 00:25:18.051
Go take the quizzes, everyone.
320
00:25:18.091 --> 00:25:18.992
I'm definitely going to do it.
321
00:25:20.714 --> 00:25:21.094
Thank you.
322
00:25:21.114 --> 00:25:22.175
Thank you for having me, everybody.
323
00:25:22.215 --> 00:25:22.776
Appreciate it.
324
00:25:23.176 --> 00:25:24.858
I have a new book coming out soon, too.
325
00:25:24.898 --> 00:25:25.899
It's up for preorder.
326
00:25:25.959 --> 00:25:28.481
So you'll find that on my information as well.
327
00:25:29.002 --> 00:25:29.262
Beautiful.
328
00:25:29.382 --> 00:25:29.702
Perfect.
329
00:25:29.722 --> 00:25:31.304
Want to want it.
330
00:25:31.404 --> 00:25:32.265
Want to want it?
331
00:25:32.525 --> 00:25:33.286
Want to want it.
332
00:25:33.406 --> 00:25:33.546
Yeah.
333
00:25:33.586 --> 00:25:35.328
And you can find it at wanttowantit.com.
334
00:25:35.982 --> 00:25:36.582
I like that.
335
00:25:36.863 --> 00:25:37.323
Yeah.
336
00:25:37.743 --> 00:25:38.704
Thank you, Dr. Mueller.
337
00:25:38.724 --> 00:25:41.505
Hey, guys, you know where to find us, vibescience.com.
338
00:25:41.545 --> 00:25:43.166
You'll find all the back episodes.
339
00:25:43.186 --> 00:25:44.547
You can listen and watch the show.
340
00:25:44.587 --> 00:25:46.188
Don't forget to check us out on YouTube.
341
00:25:46.308 --> 00:25:50.470
You can see the lovely Dr. Mueller in person.
342
00:25:50.810 --> 00:25:55.012
And we'll have all the links to her information, her quizzes, her new books.
343
00:25:55.573 --> 00:25:56.873
Want to want it.
344
00:25:56.974 --> 00:25:58.614
You do have to want to want it.
345
00:25:58.674 --> 00:26:01.656
And what we want is for you to go to your highest five.
346
00:26:01.976 --> 00:26:04.237
We appreciate everyone for listening and watching.
347
00:26:04.478 --> 00:26:05.138
We'll see you next time.
348
00:26:05.618 --> 00:26:06.199
on Vibe Science.
349
00:26:06.639 --> 00:26:09.361
Content discussed on this show is provided for reference and educational purposes.
350
00:26:09.661 --> 00:26:12.863
The content is not an attempt to practice medicine or provide specific medical advice.
351
00:26:13.243 --> 00:26:16.465
Always consult your personal physician for medical advice and proper diagnosis.
352
00:26:17.565 --> 00:26:18.306
Thanks for listening.
353
00:26:18.806 --> 00:26:19.747
This is Vibe Science.
354
00:26:20.427 --> 00:26:25.010
To learn more or watch full episodes, visit vibesciencepodcast.com.
355
00:26:25.831 --> 00:26:28.032
Here's to discovering your highest vibe.
