WEBVTT
1
00:00:00.160 --> 00:00:06.000
Support for the following podcast is provided
by the user experience specialists at Johnson Taylor.
2
00:00:06.360 --> 00:00:12.599
More information follows this episode. What
if you spend your entire career taking
3
00:00:12.599 --> 00:00:16.120
care of others, but you're not
sure who's going to take care of you.
4
00:00:17.480 --> 00:00:25.920
I'm Joe Taylor Junior. This is
Search and Replace. David Nordell didn't
5
00:00:25.920 --> 00:00:30.480
necessarily take the career he expected,
but he says it gave him lots of
6
00:00:30.679 --> 00:00:35.000
job stability and plenty of action.
I think my career starts on a dry
7
00:00:35.039 --> 00:00:39.719
farm in California and having experience there, because life on a farm teaches you
8
00:00:39.799 --> 00:00:42.479
a lot of things. I left
him when I was nineteen and I ended
9
00:00:42.560 --> 00:00:45.320
up doing thirty ars, six months
and twenty four days in the Air Force.
10
00:00:45.520 --> 00:00:48.000
Wanted to be a plumber. They
may be a medic Shove me into
11
00:00:48.079 --> 00:00:52.640
medicine, and in there is the
MT work, a lot of emergency or
12
00:00:52.640 --> 00:00:58.119
at work training to be a mid
level provider that did remote medicine, So
13
00:00:58.119 --> 00:01:00.920
I don't know what We're just being
the only medical person around, which is
14
00:01:00.280 --> 00:01:04.079
which is fairly extensive. Putting myself
to nursing school, doing shock trauma,
15
00:01:04.359 --> 00:01:08.239
even my life in the civilian world, so you got this whole thing and
16
00:01:08.319 --> 00:01:11.799
throw in four combat tours and doing
combat, you know, combat, trolla
17
00:01:11.879 --> 00:01:15.719
medicine. It's an amazing journey.
So I thought I was doing great.
18
00:01:17.159 --> 00:01:22.359
Like many veterans, David experienced a
little turbulence as he acclimated to life outside
19
00:01:22.400 --> 00:01:26.280
the military, but he wasn't prepared
for what happened next. After I retired,
20
00:01:26.400 --> 00:01:29.719
I thought, you know, I'm
working through these things. And you
21
00:01:29.719 --> 00:01:33.640
know, I knew I had some
issues, struggling trying to reintegrate. That's
22
00:01:33.680 --> 00:01:37.159
a hole the piece reintegrate from the
military back in the civilian world. And
23
00:01:37.280 --> 00:01:40.200
I was learning killing. But I
thought I was doing pretty well. And
24
00:01:40.680 --> 00:01:44.959
on June third of twenty eighteen,
I took my son to the airport to
25
00:01:45.079 --> 00:01:48.120
go off to DC to his big
first job out of college. Gave him
26
00:01:48.120 --> 00:01:51.640
some fatherly advice, came home,
set in the exact jew that I'm setting
27
00:01:51.680 --> 00:01:56.159
in, did some work and stood
up and throw a blood cloud in the
28
00:01:56.200 --> 00:01:59.959
both lungs. And I was killing. And I was sitting in the emergency,
29
00:02:00.519 --> 00:02:01.760
a place that I was very familiar
with because it's what I do,
30
00:02:01.959 --> 00:02:05.480
and I knew the people that were
working on me, and I said,
31
00:02:05.840 --> 00:02:07.879
boy, you haven't been doing any
of this right. So last day I
32
00:02:07.919 --> 00:02:10.319
took a drink. I'n't had a
drink in five and a half years.
33
00:02:10.479 --> 00:02:14.879
The second thing was was, I
said, how did I get here?
34
00:02:15.080 --> 00:02:17.360
Why besides my wife? Why wasn't
there somebody that picked me up? And
35
00:02:17.400 --> 00:02:22.840
I looked at my inner circle and
I said, all of these people were
36
00:02:22.879 --> 00:02:28.680
comfortable with who I was because they
also drank. They also suppressed their thoughts.
37
00:02:28.759 --> 00:02:30.680
They also played the latcho thing.
They also played the tough guy.
38
00:02:30.879 --> 00:02:36.280
So they validated all of my victim
mentality that I put forth with all of
39
00:02:36.280 --> 00:02:38.960
this stuff. They perpetuated it.
They were enablers at that level. And
40
00:02:39.000 --> 00:02:44.120
so I started cutting those ties.
And you want not, David said.
41
00:02:44.159 --> 00:02:49.280
He noticed so many similarities among those
people that he now had to cut ties
42
00:02:49.360 --> 00:02:53.919
with, especially when it came to
one trait that helped David and his peers
43
00:02:53.039 --> 00:02:58.240
navigate their lives in the Air Force
but didn't work very well back at home.
44
00:02:58.479 --> 00:03:01.639
I think the natural human tendency is
to especially men, it is to
45
00:03:01.879 --> 00:03:07.039
default to be a tough Far too
often first responders and military books carry that
46
00:03:07.080 --> 00:03:12.319
into their day to day lives.
Right, and so when non job time
47
00:03:12.639 --> 00:03:15.439
is out in the world. You
don't have a lot of people around you
48
00:03:15.759 --> 00:03:20.879
that one can relate or two that
you think are worthy of sharing this experience,
49
00:03:21.039 --> 00:03:23.560
that they have anything to add to
your ability to deal with it.
50
00:03:23.840 --> 00:03:28.599
So you internalize it, run uphills
and beat your body up physically to try
51
00:03:28.639 --> 00:03:30.479
and dig all this stuff. And
when all that doesn't work, you have
52
00:03:30.560 --> 00:03:36.479
the three main counselors that most first
responders use, Jim, Johnny and Jack
53
00:03:36.800 --> 00:03:40.080
right. And so when you've run
that gamut and one day you go,
54
00:03:40.439 --> 00:03:45.319
I'm in a worse place than I
was, and you realize you finally have
55
00:03:45.360 --> 00:03:49.080
that epiphany that you go, there's
actually people out there that may not be
56
00:03:49.240 --> 00:03:52.159
me and may not have my experiences, but they know how to help.
57
00:03:52.319 --> 00:03:59.000
Surrendering that toughness and opening himself to
vulnerability led David to a profound realization that's
58
00:03:59.039 --> 00:04:02.400
your first step off your ego to
actually let somebody into your life to start
59
00:04:02.439 --> 00:04:06.080
to pull all this stuff apart and
teach you about boundaries, and teach you
60
00:04:06.120 --> 00:04:10.240
about how to build little safe spaces
to put all of these things in.
61
00:04:10.520 --> 00:04:13.599
And then when they do get out
of your little box and to start to
62
00:04:13.599 --> 00:04:15.480
hold them, they don't get out
and they start to wear their ugly head.
63
00:04:15.600 --> 00:04:19.399
It takes having a life team that
is really, really solid. You
64
00:04:19.480 --> 00:04:24.639
know, we are the CEOs of
ourselves. CEOs are the only people that
65
00:04:24.680 --> 00:04:27.639
can write the checks, higher fire, set, strategic vision, all those
66
00:04:27.680 --> 00:04:30.240
things, and the only ones that
with one sentence can change the whole course
67
00:04:30.279 --> 00:04:33.800
of action. So we own that
we own all of our stuff, and
68
00:04:33.839 --> 00:04:36.639
the thing that we own is our
life team. And so sometimes you have
69
00:04:36.680 --> 00:04:40.839
to fire people. Sometimes you have
to say, you know, I really
70
00:04:40.879 --> 00:04:45.120
appreciate you for who you are,
but you're not contributing to me where I
71
00:04:45.160 --> 00:04:47.759
need to be mentally, physically,
and emotionally. You should be picking those
72
00:04:47.800 --> 00:04:51.079
people very specifically, and they should
fill the rules, and they should be
73
00:04:51.160 --> 00:04:54.759
reliable, and you should be contributing
to them too. If you have the
74
00:04:54.839 --> 00:04:58.720
right life team, when you hit
those tipping points, there's somebody there and
75
00:04:58.759 --> 00:05:01.120
they're easily accessible with actually understand the
role when you reach it out to.
76
00:05:01.439 --> 00:05:06.639
David says he now knows what holds
most people back from making positive transformations in
77
00:05:06.680 --> 00:05:11.759
their lives. You already know what
you need to do and what you need
78
00:05:11.839 --> 00:05:14.560
to do to make it happen.
You already know that the only reason that
79
00:05:14.600 --> 00:05:16.639
you're not doing it is two reasons, and this is everything in life.
80
00:05:16.639 --> 00:05:19.639
But then this is there's two things, fear and pain. And in your
81
00:05:19.759 --> 00:05:24.439
mind, we always come up with
the things that scar us and the things
82
00:05:24.439 --> 00:05:28.319
that are painful, and we use
as excuses to stay exactly where we're at.
83
00:05:28.399 --> 00:05:30.639
And then there's the unknown space,
and then you need to go there.
84
00:05:30.759 --> 00:05:33.040
It's scary because that's the space you
have to go into that requires work,
85
00:05:33.120 --> 00:05:38.079
requires effort, It requires you to
sometimes bland your teammates with you.
86
00:05:38.519 --> 00:05:43.480
But that's where we grow. And
it looks painful because one you worry about
87
00:05:43.480 --> 00:05:46.279
what people are gonna think, and
you've got to stop that. That's why
88
00:05:46.319 --> 00:05:48.240
you get people in your life that
genuinely care about you, because they're not
89
00:05:48.319 --> 00:05:51.600
judging you. They're trying to help
you be better, regardless of what side
90
00:05:51.600 --> 00:05:55.759
of the journey are on. Knowledge
is power only one's share, and that
91
00:05:55.920 --> 00:05:59.160
is a really hard concept for a
lot of people because where we get experience,
92
00:05:59.240 --> 00:06:01.480
we go look at that as kind
of treasure shows and we allly dull
93
00:06:01.639 --> 00:06:06.240
that out in small doses. Sometimes
we should be tossing that stuff out like
94
00:06:06.360 --> 00:06:11.759
candy at a fourth of July parade. We should be throwing that stuff everywhere.
95
00:06:12.000 --> 00:06:14.279
So if you've got the knowledge,
I need to share it. That's
96
00:06:14.360 --> 00:06:18.560
David Nordell, an Air Force veteran
who now helps other people transition from military
97
00:06:18.639 --> 00:06:23.560
to civilian life. We've got more
from David in our show notes and on
98
00:06:23.600 --> 00:06:27.639
our website at Search and Replace dot
Show. Also in our show notes,
99
00:06:27.800 --> 00:06:30.959
as David mentioned, opening yourself up
to a group of trusted people can help
100
00:06:31.000 --> 00:06:36.600
you navigate many mental health conditions.
Writer Candice Kelly documents four of the archetypes
101
00:06:36.639 --> 00:06:42.040
for the people you might want on
your personal advisory board. Thinking of those
102
00:06:42.120 --> 00:06:46.399
folks as coaches, critics, cheerleaders, and classmates can help them better help
103
00:06:46.480 --> 00:06:50.639
you, even as you prepare to
play one of those roles for someone else.
104
00:06:51.639 --> 00:06:56.600
We've got those resources and more in
our show notes and on our website
105
00:06:56.839 --> 00:07:00.439
at Search and Replace dot Show.
Today's episode I was produced by Nicole Hubbard
106
00:07:00.480 --> 00:07:04.560
with help from the entire podcast Taxi
team. I'm Joe Taylor Jr. This
107
00:07:04.639 --> 00:07:11.600
has been a podcast Taxi Radio production
support for Search and Replace is provided by
108
00:07:11.680 --> 00:07:17.600
Johnson Taylor User Experience Specialists serving media
and technology companies that want their websites to
109
00:07:17.680 --> 00:07:25.240
work learn more about how top performing
businesses eliminate barriers between customers and their goals
110
00:07:25.439 --> 00:07:30.800
at www. Dot Make the website
work for me dot com
1
00:00:00.160 --> 00:00:06.000
Support for the following podcast is provided
by the user experience specialists at Johnson Taylor.
2
00:00:06.360 --> 00:00:12.599
More information follows this episode. What
if you spend your entire career taking
3
00:00:12.599 --> 00:00:16.120
care of others, but you're not
sure who's going to take care of you.
4
00:00:17.480 --> 00:00:25.920
I'm Joe Taylor Junior. This is
Search and Replace. David Nordell didn't
5
00:00:25.920 --> 00:00:30.480
necessarily take the career he expected,
but he says it gave him lots of
6
00:00:30.679 --> 00:00:35.000
job stability and plenty of action.
I think my career starts on a dry
7
00:00:35.039 --> 00:00:39.719
farm in California and having experience there, because life on a farm teaches you
8
00:00:39.799 --> 00:00:42.479
a lot of things. I left
him when I was nineteen and I ended
9
00:00:42.560 --> 00:00:45.320
up doing thirty ars, six months
and twenty four days in the Air Force.
10
00:00:45.520 --> 00:00:48.000
Wanted to be a plumber. They
may be a medic Shove me into
11
00:00:48.079 --> 00:00:52.640
medicine, and in there is the
MT work, a lot of emergency or
12
00:00:52.640 --> 00:00:58.119
at work training to be a mid
level provider that did remote medicine, So
13
00:00:58.119 --> 00:01:00.920
I don't know what We're just being
the only medical person around, which is
14
00:01:00.280 --> 00:01:04.079
which is fairly extensive. Putting myself
to nursing school, doing shock trauma,
15
00:01:04.359 --> 00:01:08.239
even my life in the civilian world, so you got this whole thing and
16
00:01:08.319 --> 00:01:11.799
throw in four combat tours and doing
combat, you know, combat, trolla
17
00:01:11.879 --> 00:01:15.719
medicine. It's an amazing journey.
So I thought I was doing great.
18
00:01:17.159 --> 00:01:22.359
Like many veterans, David experienced a
little turbulence as he acclimated to life outside
19
00:01:22.400 --> 00:01:26.280
the military, but he wasn't prepared
for what happened next. After I retired,
20
00:01:26.400 --> 00:01:29.719
I thought, you know, I'm
working through these things. And you
21
00:01:29.719 --> 00:01:33.640
know, I knew I had some
issues, struggling trying to reintegrate. That's
22
00:01:33.680 --> 00:01:37.159
a hole the piece reintegrate from the
military back in the civilian world. And
23
00:01:37.280 --> 00:01:40.200
I was learning killing. But I
thought I was doing pretty well. And
24
00:01:40.680 --> 00:01:44.959
on June third of twenty eighteen,
I took my son to the airport to
25
00:01:45.079 --> 00:01:48.120
go off to DC to his big
first job out of college. Gave him
26
00:01:48.120 --> 00:01:51.640
some fatherly advice, came home,
set in the exact jew that I'm setting
27
00:01:51.680 --> 00:01:56.159
in, did some work and stood
up and throw a blood cloud in the
28
00:01:56.200 --> 00:01:59.959
both lungs. And I was killing. And I was sitting in the emergency,
29
00:02:00.519 --> 00:02:01.760
a place that I was very familiar
with because it's what I do,
30
00:02:01.959 --> 00:02:05.480
and I knew the people that were
working on me, and I said,
31
00:02:05.840 --> 00:02:07.879
boy, you haven't been doing any
of this right. So last day I
32
00:02:07.919 --> 00:02:10.319
took a drink. I'n't had a
drink in five and a half years.
33
00:02:10.479 --> 00:02:14.879
The second thing was was, I
said, how did I get here?
34
00:02:15.080 --> 00:02:17.360
Why besides my wife? Why wasn't
there somebody that picked me up? And
35
00:02:17.400 --> 00:02:22.840
I looked at my inner circle and
I said, all of these people were
36
00:02:22.879 --> 00:02:28.680
comfortable with who I was because they
also drank. They also suppressed their thoughts.
37
00:02:28.759 --> 00:02:30.680
They also played the latcho thing.
They also played the tough guy.
38
00:02:30.879 --> 00:02:36.280
So they validated all of my victim
mentality that I put forth with all of
39
00:02:36.280 --> 00:02:38.960
this stuff. They perpetuated it.
They were enablers at that level. And
40
00:02:39.000 --> 00:02:44.120
so I started cutting those ties.
And you want not, David said.
41
00:02:44.159 --> 00:02:49.280
He noticed so many similarities among those
people that he now had to cut ties
42
00:02:49.360 --> 00:02:53.919
with, especially when it came to
one trait that helped David and his peers
43
00:02:53.039 --> 00:02:58.240
navigate their lives in the Air Force
but didn't work very well back at home.
44
00:02:58.479 --> 00:03:01.639
I think the natural human tendency is
to especially men, it is to
45
00:03:01.879 --> 00:03:07.039
default to be a tough Far too
often first responders and military books carry that
46
00:03:07.080 --> 00:03:12.319
into their day to day lives.
Right, and so when non job time
47
00:03:12.639 --> 00:03:15.439
is out in the world. You
don't have a lot of people around you
48
00:03:15.759 --> 00:03:20.879
that one can relate or two that
you think are worthy of sharing this experience,
49
00:03:21.039 --> 00:03:23.560
that they have anything to add to
your ability to deal with it.
50
00:03:23.840 --> 00:03:28.599
So you internalize it, run uphills
and beat your body up physically to try
51
00:03:28.639 --> 00:03:30.479
and dig all this stuff. And
when all that doesn't work, you have
52
00:03:30.560 --> 00:03:36.479
the three main counselors that most first
responders use, Jim, Johnny and Jack
53
00:03:36.800 --> 00:03:40.080
right. And so when you've run
that gamut and one day you go,
54
00:03:40.439 --> 00:03:45.319
I'm in a worse place than I
was, and you realize you finally have
55
00:03:45.360 --> 00:03:49.080
that epiphany that you go, there's
actually people out there that may not be
56
00:03:49.240 --> 00:03:52.159
me and may not have my experiences, but they know how to help.
57
00:03:52.319 --> 00:03:59.000
Surrendering that toughness and opening himself to
vulnerability led David to a profound realization that's
58
00:03:59.039 --> 00:04:02.400
your first step off your ego to
actually let somebody into your life to start
59
00:04:02.439 --> 00:04:06.080
to pull all this stuff apart and
teach you about boundaries, and teach you
60
00:04:06.120 --> 00:04:10.240
about how to build little safe spaces
to put all of these things in.
61
00:04:10.520 --> 00:04:13.599
And then when they do get out
of your little box and to start to
62
00:04:13.599 --> 00:04:15.480
hold them, they don't get out
and they start to wear their ugly head.
63
00:04:15.600 --> 00:04:19.399
It takes having a life team that
is really, really solid. You
64
00:04:19.480 --> 00:04:24.639
know, we are the CEOs of
ourselves. CEOs are the only people that
65
00:04:24.680 --> 00:04:27.639
can write the checks, higher fire, set, strategic vision, all those
66
00:04:27.680 --> 00:04:30.240
things, and the only ones that
with one sentence can change the whole course
67
00:04:30.279 --> 00:04:33.800
of action. So we own that
we own all of our stuff, and
68
00:04:33.839 --> 00:04:36.639
the thing that we own is our
life team. And so sometimes you have
69
00:04:36.680 --> 00:04:40.839
to fire people. Sometimes you have
to say, you know, I really
70
00:04:40.879 --> 00:04:45.120
appreciate you for who you are,
but you're not contributing to me where I
71
00:04:45.160 --> 00:04:47.759
need to be mentally, physically,
and emotionally. You should be picking those
72
00:04:47.800 --> 00:04:51.079
people very specifically, and they should
fill the rules, and they should be
73
00:04:51.160 --> 00:04:54.759
reliable, and you should be contributing
to them too. If you have the
74
00:04:54.839 --> 00:04:58.720
right life team, when you hit
those tipping points, there's somebody there and
75
00:04:58.759 --> 00:05:01.120
they're easily accessible with actually understand the
role when you reach it out to.
76
00:05:01.439 --> 00:05:06.639
David says he now knows what holds
most people back from making positive transformations in
77
00:05:06.680 --> 00:05:11.759
their lives. You already know what
you need to do and what you need
78
00:05:11.839 --> 00:05:14.560
to do to make it happen.
You already know that the only reason that
79
00:05:14.600 --> 00:05:16.639
you're not doing it is two reasons, and this is everything in life.
80
00:05:16.639 --> 00:05:19.639
But then this is there's two things, fear and pain. And in your
81
00:05:19.759 --> 00:05:24.439
mind, we always come up with
the things that scar us and the things
82
00:05:24.439 --> 00:05:28.319
that are painful, and we use
as excuses to stay exactly where we're at.
83
00:05:28.399 --> 00:05:30.639
And then there's the unknown space,
and then you need to go there.
84
00:05:30.759 --> 00:05:33.040
It's scary because that's the space you
have to go into that requires work,
85
00:05:33.120 --> 00:05:38.079
requires effort, It requires you to
sometimes bland your teammates with you.
86
00:05:38.519 --> 00:05:43.480
But that's where we grow. And
it looks painful because one you worry about
87
00:05:43.480 --> 00:05:46.279
what people are gonna think, and
you've got to stop that. That's why
88
00:05:46.319 --> 00:05:48.240
you get people in your life that
genuinely care about you, because they're not
89
00:05:48.319 --> 00:05:51.600
judging you. They're trying to help
you be better, regardless of what side
90
00:05:51.600 --> 00:05:55.759
of the journey are on. Knowledge
is power only one's share, and that
91
00:05:55.920 --> 00:05:59.160
is a really hard concept for a
lot of people because where we get experience,
92
00:05:59.240 --> 00:06:01.480
we go look at that as kind
of treasure shows and we allly dull
93
00:06:01.639 --> 00:06:06.240
that out in small doses. Sometimes
we should be tossing that stuff out like
94
00:06:06.360 --> 00:06:11.759
candy at a fourth of July parade. We should be throwing that stuff everywhere.
95
00:06:12.000 --> 00:06:14.279
So if you've got the knowledge,
I need to share it. That's
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David Nordell, an Air Force veteran
who now helps other people transition from military
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to civilian life. We've got more
from David in our show notes and on
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our website at Search and Replace dot
Show. Also in our show notes,
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as David mentioned, opening yourself up
to a group of trusted people can help
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you navigate many mental health conditions.
Writer Candice Kelly documents four of the archetypes
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for the people you might want on
your personal advisory board. Thinking of those
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folks as coaches, critics, cheerleaders, and classmates can help them better help
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you, even as you prepare to
play one of those roles for someone else.
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We've got those resources and more in
our show notes and on our website
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at Search and Replace dot Show.
Today's episode I was produced by Nicole Hubbard
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with help from the entire podcast Taxi
team. I'm Joe Taylor Jr. This
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has been a podcast Taxi Radio production
support for Search and Replace is provided by
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Johnson Taylor User Experience Specialists serving media
and technology companies that want their websites to
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work learn more about how top performing
businesses eliminate barriers between customers and their goals
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at www. Dot Make the website
work for me dot com
