Your First Stop in Divorce Isn’t a Lawyer | Olivia Howell

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All right, welcome to pulling threads. I
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want to open by just thinking about
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today we have a special guest. We
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celebrate things all the time with gifts
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and showers and big parties
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and
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our communities show up for us, right?
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Like our people show up and they support
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us in whatever way that they can and
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they get us feel loved. But many of us
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have gone through moments where
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we really needed everyone to show up on
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many different levels and it's more
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awkward.
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And we're of course talking about
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divorce
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>> and my guest today Olivia How has and
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her sister have come up with a really
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unique amazing way to support people
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through divorce that is creative,
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brilliant.
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Not only are they s supporting the
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people who are going through divorce,
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but they also support the people who
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support people going through divorce
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like myself in a really wonderful way.
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And so I'm going to let you do a little
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bit of the intro yourself, Olivia,
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because you do so many things and wear
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so many hats like I do. And so I want
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you to,
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>> you know, give the viewers an idea of of
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what you're doing and what you're up to.
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And then I want to dive into the
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registry and just how it supports people
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and all of the ways that you support
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people because since I've known you,
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I've learned more and more, especially
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talking to the clients who you send my
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way and then they share with me how
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you've shown up for them. So, welcome to
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Welling Threads. It's wonderful to see
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you. You're my Pisces sister.
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>> I love your podcast. I'm thrilled to be
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here. Thanks, Lesie.
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>> Yeah. So, tell the audience a little bit
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about yourself before we really dig in
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and and what you're up to.
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>> Sure. Thank you. Like I said, I love
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your show. I'm a big fan of you, so I'm
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really happy to be here. And my name is
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Olivia Howell. I am the co-founder and
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the CEO of Fresh Starts Registry. And
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for those of you that don't know, Fresh
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Starts was founded in 2021 by myself and
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my sister Jenny. And we founded the
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world's first divorce registry. What
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does that mean? That means it's what you
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think it is. It is a registry of items
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that you will put in a list for
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rebuilding your life again. There was
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nothing else that existed out there like
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this and we just kind of came in at the
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right time and place and we built fresh
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starts. And then also my background is
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in marketing and PR which I've been
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doing for a million years. And so for
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those people that are wondering how do
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they make money because registries don't
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make money. Registries don't make money.
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We decided to build basically a media
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platform and a membership for divorce
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professionals. So, we are the premier
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divorce network of professionals. We
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have about 180 now, which is wild. And
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we provide them obviously with
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referrals, which is amazing, but also
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with so many other things because, and
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you know this better than anyone,
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Leslie, but the marketing and public
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relations for divorce and the divorce
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industry is so backwards from what
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people think. It is not the same as any
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other marketing.
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>> And so we really aim to get divorce
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professionals names out there by our
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podcast. We have a magazine, Divorce
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Guide magazine. We have a book coming
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out in 2027 and just are tons of stuff
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on our platform. We do workshops and
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webinars and all that stuff. We also do
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business coaching. So, there's a lot for
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experts as well as for people going
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through divorce. And we truly are the
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epitome of building the plane as we fly
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it every single day, every single
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second, iterating all the time. But it
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is a joy and I love what I do and I can
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definitely get more into everything
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nitty-gritty wise. But that's what I
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spend most of my day doing is putting
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this hat on as well as a single mom of
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two crazy teen boys.
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>> Don't leave that part out because that
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is the biggest that is the biggest the
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part of
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>> everything we're doing and
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>> why we're doing it and all the things.
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Yeah. So, thank you for that intro and
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I'm I'm excited to get to talking about
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how you support professionals, too. But
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I do want to really get into how you're
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supporting people going through divorce
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first and why. I think many of us
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who are in this industry, we got here
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because
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when we were in our process, we were
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like, "What the f?" like, uh, who is
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going to help me? Who's going to support
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me? And
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>> you quickly realize that the people that
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you think have got your back don't
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always they don't understand.
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And so many people come to you. I know,
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like, oh my god, what do I do? What do I
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do? Who do I
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>> They don't know who they need. They
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don't know what they need. They're
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living in fear. And you and I have been
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there.
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Um, so talk about a little bit like what
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inspired you to start not just the
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registry but like this whole thing and
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was it one thing and then oh my gosh we
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can also do this or did you have a
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vision? When did that start during your
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divorce?
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>> I love this question. So I came from we
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come from a family of divorce. So our
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parents are divorced. All of our
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grandparents are divorced. So, I like to
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say we grew up in divorce was the water
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we swam in. It was just literally like
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we didn't know any different. We went to
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four Hanukkah, four Christmases, four
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Thanksgiving. We just did everything.
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And I thought then when my divorce
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happened that I would be like, "Okay,
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I've been through this so many times."
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And it was not like that at all. And I
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had all the family support. I had
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financial support. I had a home. I had
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everything I needed. And I was still
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depressed and isolated and lonely and
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scared as and it was a really hard
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time. And I thought to myself, if I have
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everything I need and I'm gonna be okay,
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how is anybody else getting through
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this? And this was in 2019. And I would
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Google and I would look and people still
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weren't talking about this. I had two
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friends who were just a little bit older
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than me who were amazing women who had
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gone through a divorce and that was who
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I talked to. That was it. I was the
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first one of my friends to go through
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this. when even my parents divorce was
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in the 90s. It's obviously not going to
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be the same type of thing, right? And so
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I really had this aha moment where I was
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like, there's no place for people to go
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on the internet that is safe. That was
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the number one word for me, safe, for
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them to get the support they need from
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safe experts and from an emotional
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support system that maybe is not the
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same as the law legal system that you're
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going through. And so I really was very
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adamant about being I I am the oldest
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child. I'm a Pisces as you said. I am
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very deeply empathetic. I wanted to be
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the big sister for anybody going through
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this. And at the same time, so my
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marriage ended in 2019. My sister ended
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her engagement in 2021, right? Like
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2020, 2021. And so she had the opposite
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experience that I did where I stayed in
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the marital residence and had to rebuild
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from there which was its own journey.
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She left her apartment with nothing and
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had to rebuild completely from scratch.
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And so we were really looking at this
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from two different angles. And
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>> something that was really important to
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us was again putting the real human
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perspective on this. And so many
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startups are and you you know this
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you're very much in the founder world
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like so many startups are built to make
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money and we were definitely not to
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built to make money.
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>> In fact we had a whole business plan
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laid out and then thought oh crap we're
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not making money.
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>> How are we going to pay for this? Yeah.
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>> And we are literally we are two two
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sisters who just want to be there for
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other people. And I think that's very
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hard for a lot of founders to understand
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or a lot of people. I get a lot of women
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who will still say, "What's the catch?
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What's the upsell?" And I'm like, "No,
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we really just want to be here for you."
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>> And kindness is really scary for some
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people because they're used to getting
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manipulated.
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>> So, we really just laid out this idea
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that we wanted to be there to help
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people. And at the time, we were both
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work I was running a marketing agency.
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My sister came to work for me during the
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pandemic. She had been doing on-site big
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tech events like for Blizzcon and Subaru
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and pharmaceutical companies. Then the
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pandemic happened. I begged her to come
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work with me. My business actually
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exploded during the pandemic because of
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digital marketing. And so we did and
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that was the first time we had always
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kind of worked in creative endeavors
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together. We had a blog together, but
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this was the first real test to see can
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we really work together. And nothing is
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as similar to being married to your
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sibling as working on a a company
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together with your sibling. But we do we
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we have very different skill sets. We
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work incredibly differently. She is the
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mastermind behind everything. She's
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built the website from the ground up.
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Literally everything. She runs
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everything. And then what I noticed was
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as I started sharing my story and
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putting myself out there in the divorce
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world, women started coming left and
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right and saying, "How do I do this?
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What do I do? I'm stuck. I'm trapped.
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And I thought I really like helping
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people, but I'm not a lawyer. I'm not a
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CDFA. I'm not a mortgage expert.
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>> And it's so complex.
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>> Oh my gosh, it's so complex. And so I
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did get my life coaching certification.
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I'm a clinical hypnotherapist. Also, I
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did an amazing program where I got six
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certifications at once. It was a very
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long Yeah, it was a very long program.
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And it was intense. It was and I did it
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intentionally with Julie Costa's
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anchored program because it was about
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subconscious reprogramming and I didn't
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need a program that was like here's how
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to market yourself like I know how to
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market myself.
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>> So I graduated that in 2023
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I think and started doing a little bit
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of life coaching. I'm not like I don't
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like doing one-on-one coaching. I'm
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always very honest about that. I like
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being in community with people and
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supporting women in community. And then
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I became a certified divorce coach.
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Again, I've never I'd never divorce
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coach. That is not my
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>> It's good to understand it because of
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what you're doing.
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>> Yep. And so then in I think it was
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December of 2024, I said to my sister,
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we had launched the company. We were
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doing well, but we are a startup. We we
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self-funded. So I actually were
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bootstrapped. I sold my house in 2022
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and moved back in with my parents and
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I'm living off savings to fund the
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company. We're in year five and we're
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just being able now to pay ourselves.
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So,
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everything we've done, we put back into
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the heart of this company. And we really
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wanted people to know that we walk the
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walk.
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>> Sorry, my allergies are so bad. Long
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Island is killing me. We walk the walk.
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We really are there for people when we
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say we are. And a lot of founders, a lot
00:11:23.360 --> 00:11:25.190
of divorce professionals, even a lot of
00:11:25.200 --> 00:11:27.750
professionals will show up and say, "I'm
00:11:27.760 --> 00:11:28.949
going to create some products. I'm going
00:11:28.959 --> 00:11:30.790
to do some digital stuff." And then walk
00:11:30.800 --> 00:11:34.150
away. We are there with people 247. And
00:11:34.160 --> 00:11:36.550
I really mean 247. My sister lives in
00:11:36.560 --> 00:11:38.630
Scotland. She ended up finding the love
00:11:38.640 --> 00:11:41.269
of her life and moving over there, which
00:11:41.279 --> 00:11:42.630
is a beautiful story, but there's
00:11:42.640 --> 00:11:44.630
literally always somebody awake at Fresh
00:11:44.640 --> 00:11:47.990
Starts who is there for you. Um, but so
00:11:48.000 --> 00:11:50.630
in 2024, I said to my sister, I think
00:11:50.640 --> 00:11:52.949
that I need to meet with people going
00:11:52.959 --> 00:11:54.630
through a divorce more. People were
00:11:54.640 --> 00:11:56.310
coming to me, but I said, I really want
00:11:56.320 --> 00:11:58.790
to know what's happening inside people's
00:11:58.800 --> 00:12:02.470
homes. And so I on a whim said, "Let me
00:12:02.480 --> 00:12:05.030
just open up free 15-minute Zoom calls
00:12:05.040 --> 00:12:07.430
with me for anybody in any part of the
00:12:07.440 --> 00:12:08.949
process and I'll directly connect them
00:12:08.959 --> 00:12:10.550
to our experts." And thank God we have
00:12:10.560 --> 00:12:12.870
them. I booked up within minutes. Like
00:12:12.880 --> 00:12:15.030
literally within minutes and started,
00:12:15.040 --> 00:12:17.509
yeah, people were emailing me. And so
00:12:17.519 --> 00:12:20.310
now most of my day consists of meeting
00:12:20.320 --> 00:12:23.190
with women and men going through any
00:12:23.200 --> 00:12:25.190
aspect. So I talked some people I talk
00:12:25.200 --> 00:12:26.949
to and I'm the first person that they
00:12:26.959 --> 00:12:28.949
tell that they're ever thinking. Some
00:12:28.959 --> 00:12:30.389
people I talk to when they're 20 years
00:12:30.399 --> 00:12:32.310
out from divorce but they have to look
00:12:32.320 --> 00:12:36.629
at finances again or whatever and from
00:12:36.639 --> 00:12:38.710
a business perspective and you'll
00:12:38.720 --> 00:12:40.870
understand this Leslie. So I actually
00:12:40.880 --> 00:12:42.870
worked with a baby registry company and
00:12:42.880 --> 00:12:44.710
I was the head of marketing for a long
00:12:44.720 --> 00:12:47.829
time and it was the first concierge baby
00:12:47.839 --> 00:12:49.590
registry company. So we worked with
00:12:49.600 --> 00:12:51.910
celebrities. We were really the woman
00:12:51.920 --> 00:12:53.670
Monica Banks who founded it was on the
00:12:53.680 --> 00:12:55.829
ground floor of figuring out this
00:12:55.839 --> 00:12:58.790
personalized registry concept. So, I
00:12:58.800 --> 00:13:01.670
knew that you would have a baby registry
00:13:01.680 --> 00:13:03.350
how many times in your life? Three,
00:13:03.360 --> 00:13:05.750
four, maybe, right? At most. You'd have
00:13:05.760 --> 00:13:08.310
a wedding registry twice, but maybe. But
00:13:08.320 --> 00:13:10.629
I wanted a place that people could come
00:13:10.639 --> 00:13:12.550
back time and again for every fresh
00:13:12.560 --> 00:13:13.590
start.
00:13:13.600 --> 00:13:15.269
>> So, it was very intentional that we
00:13:15.279 --> 00:13:17.030
didn't call this the divorce registry
00:13:17.040 --> 00:13:18.710
because it's not just for divorce. It's
00:13:18.720 --> 00:13:21.430
for at every fresh start. And we have
00:13:21.440 --> 00:13:23.190
now that I've talked to hundreds of
00:13:23.200 --> 00:13:25.670
women over the last 5 years, they come
00:13:25.680 --> 00:13:27.829
back over and over. And so they'll come
00:13:27.839 --> 00:13:29.990
back and say, "Now I need a a resume
00:13:30.000 --> 00:13:31.910
coach. Now I need a career coach. Now I
00:13:31.920 --> 00:13:33.269
need a financial adviser."
00:13:33.279 --> 00:13:33.829
>> I love that.
00:13:33.839 --> 00:13:35.430
>> And they're using Yeah. They're using
00:13:35.440 --> 00:13:37.350
our platform for everything they need to
00:13:37.360 --> 00:13:39.590
really rebuild again. So it's been a
00:13:39.600 --> 00:13:42.550
pleasure. And people don't We're very
00:13:42.560 --> 00:13:44.389
adamant about building this the way we
00:13:44.399 --> 00:13:46.230
want to build it. And so we look at
00:13:46.240 --> 00:13:48.230
success in a lot of different ways. I
00:13:48.240 --> 00:13:49.990
was talking to somebody the other day,
00:13:50.000 --> 00:13:52.470
one of our experts, and I said, "Right
00:13:52.480 --> 00:13:54.629
now in my life, my definition of success
00:13:54.639 --> 00:13:56.470
is I get to drop my kids off at school
00:13:56.480 --> 00:13:58.870
and pick my kids up every day." And that
00:13:58.880 --> 00:14:01.590
to me is my definition of success. I
00:14:01.600 --> 00:14:03.189
don't have a ton of extra money. I live
00:14:03.199 --> 00:14:04.870
at home with my parents. I don't really
00:14:04.880 --> 00:14:06.790
have a life outside of work, but I get
00:14:06.800 --> 00:14:08.870
to spend that time with my kids. And
00:14:08.880 --> 00:14:10.230
someday I'm going to look back on that
00:14:10.240 --> 00:14:11.829
and be really grateful that I did that.
00:14:11.839 --> 00:14:15.269
>> Absolutely. Um, and so we're just really
00:14:15.279 --> 00:14:18.949
building this platform, this empire for
00:14:18.959 --> 00:14:21.670
everything divorced, divorce education,
00:14:21.680 --> 00:14:23.509
where obviously is very forward
00:14:23.519 --> 00:14:25.750
thinking. This is not about hating your
00:14:25.760 --> 00:14:27.829
ex or being angry at them. This is about
00:14:27.839 --> 00:14:30.550
you and how we can help you move on to
00:14:30.560 --> 00:14:32.470
the next chapter of your life and that
00:14:32.480 --> 00:14:34.790
true fresh start. And so, we're super
00:14:34.800 --> 00:14:37.030
excited. We truly, we love what we do.
00:14:37.040 --> 00:14:38.870
We're so grateful every day for the
00:14:38.880 --> 00:14:41.670
people we work with and the support we
00:14:41.680 --> 00:14:44.150
can provide people. And now it's gotten
00:14:44.160 --> 00:14:45.829
to the point where I'm just tagged in
00:14:45.839 --> 00:14:47.910
things all the time. Very busy talking
00:14:47.920 --> 00:14:50.310
to people providing support. But we're
00:14:50.320 --> 00:14:51.829
here and we really mean that we're here
00:14:51.839 --> 00:14:52.710
for people.
00:14:52.720 --> 00:14:55.590
>> Love that. And I think if you don't
00:14:55.600 --> 00:14:59.910
mind, I want to talk about what people
00:14:59.920 --> 00:15:01.910
who are either considering or they're in
00:15:01.920 --> 00:15:05.590
a divorce or or another fresh start,
00:15:05.600 --> 00:15:08.150
what they're facing
00:15:08.160 --> 00:15:10.790
when they go out into the world to look
00:15:10.800 --> 00:15:14.069
for resources both in social media
00:15:14.079 --> 00:15:16.470
because
00:15:16.480 --> 00:15:19.509
there's a, as you said, it's a weird
00:15:19.519 --> 00:15:22.550
industry. It's a very weird industry
00:15:22.560 --> 00:15:25.750
>> and I know for myself when I was going
00:15:25.760 --> 00:15:29.829
through it there were a couple podcasts
00:15:29.839 --> 00:15:32.790
I think I looked for a divorce coach. I
00:15:32.800 --> 00:15:34.790
had a incredible therapist who was
00:15:34.800 --> 00:15:38.310
helping me get out of my situation and
00:15:38.320 --> 00:15:40.069
supporting me in that way. Had an
00:15:40.079 --> 00:15:42.150
amazing lawyer
00:15:42.160 --> 00:15:44.230
like you. I knew I was going to be okay
00:15:44.240 --> 00:15:48.949
financially, at least for the period of
00:15:48.959 --> 00:15:51.670
I got what I call my runway, right, to
00:15:51.680 --> 00:15:53.749
rebuild my life and get my career back
00:15:53.759 --> 00:15:54.949
going.
00:15:54.959 --> 00:15:58.230
>> But I didn't have a coach and I didn't
00:15:58.240 --> 00:16:02.870
have the finances to afford to use my
00:16:02.880 --> 00:16:05.350
attorney as a coach. Even my therapist
00:16:05.360 --> 00:16:06.949
was very expensive because she had a
00:16:06.959 --> 00:16:10.470
specialty that I was using her for. So,
00:16:10.480 --> 00:16:14.310
I went out looking and I immediately I
00:16:14.320 --> 00:16:15.829
got the ick.
00:16:15.839 --> 00:16:16.069
>> Yeah,
00:16:16.079 --> 00:16:18.710
>> I got the ick and I once you get the ick
00:16:18.720 --> 00:16:21.670
with one divorce coach, you're like, I
00:16:21.680 --> 00:16:25.030
don't know who to trust. So, I leaned in
00:16:25.040 --> 00:16:29.189
on podcasts heavily and
00:16:29.199 --> 00:16:31.189
wished a lot of times they would have
00:16:31.199 --> 00:16:32.790
experts on and I was like, "Oh, I wish I
00:16:32.800 --> 00:16:34.949
could talk to that person, but I
00:16:34.959 --> 00:16:36.790
couldn't." At the time, it felt like
00:16:36.800 --> 00:16:38.710
those people weren't available. Now that
00:16:38.720 --> 00:16:41.829
I'm on the other side of it, I realize
00:16:41.839 --> 00:16:43.829
most of those people on those podcasts
00:16:43.839 --> 00:16:46.389
would have happily take done a few
00:16:46.399 --> 00:16:47.749
sessions with me.
00:16:47.759 --> 00:16:49.590
>> But it's different now, too. It has
00:16:49.600 --> 00:16:50.710
changed.
00:16:50.720 --> 00:16:52.389
>> But and I think you
00:16:52.399 --> 00:16:54.790
>> you sent out these great emails to us
00:16:54.800 --> 00:16:57.910
and one of them talked about be really
00:16:57.920 --> 00:17:00.790
open about how much you cost, like what
00:17:00.800 --> 00:17:03.749
you charge. Because for me,
00:17:03.759 --> 00:17:06.549
>> one of the biggest barriers was I had no
00:17:06.559 --> 00:17:07.990
idea how much these people were going to
00:17:08.000 --> 00:17:10.230
cost. And if I couldn't see it,
00:17:10.240 --> 00:17:12.150
>> I wasn't clicking. I wasn't going to
00:17:12.160 --> 00:17:13.829
send an inquiry. I didn't want to get
00:17:13.839 --> 00:17:17.429
pressured in. So, I'd kind of like to
00:17:17.439 --> 00:17:20.789
just talk about the barriers
00:17:20.799 --> 00:17:24.309
to support that people have when they're
00:17:24.319 --> 00:17:26.069
going through this. And I'm going to
00:17:26.079 --> 00:17:27.990
name a few and we can either talk about
00:17:28.000 --> 00:17:31.190
them or you can add to the list.
00:17:31.200 --> 00:17:34.549
for people who aren't sure yet. A huge
00:17:34.559 --> 00:17:39.190
barrier that I've realized is just
00:17:39.200 --> 00:17:41.110
they don't know how to communicate with
00:17:41.120 --> 00:17:43.830
you without it being found. So
00:17:43.840 --> 00:17:44.950
>> yeah,
00:17:44.960 --> 00:17:46.710
>> somebody's looking at their email,
00:17:46.720 --> 00:17:49.110
somebody's looking at their phone,
00:17:49.120 --> 00:17:50.710
somebody's paying attention to the bank
00:17:50.720 --> 00:17:53.669
account. So there's no way for them
00:17:53.679 --> 00:17:55.270
>> I'm writing a list down, Leslie, as
00:17:55.280 --> 00:17:56.390
you're talking because I want to address
00:17:56.400 --> 00:17:57.909
all of these topics. Yes.
00:17:57.919 --> 00:17:59.830
>> Okay. So these are the barriers I know
00:17:59.840 --> 00:18:02.630
exist, but I as a professional helping
00:18:02.640 --> 00:18:04.470
still haven't always figured this out
00:18:04.480 --> 00:18:05.669
like how to
00:18:05.679 --> 00:18:07.669
>> overcome these things. So that's one
00:18:07.679 --> 00:18:09.669
thing I think if someone's listening,
00:18:09.679 --> 00:18:11.190
they might be like, "Yeah, I can listen
00:18:11.200 --> 00:18:13.029
to Leslie's podcast." Because it's in
00:18:13.039 --> 00:18:15.110
the name is neutral, right? No one's
00:18:15.120 --> 00:18:17.590
going to look at their history and say,
00:18:17.600 --> 00:18:19.590
"She's listening to a divorce podcast."
00:18:19.600 --> 00:18:21.430
And that's intentional. It's also
00:18:21.440 --> 00:18:23.110
intentional that I cover lots of other
00:18:23.120 --> 00:18:26.310
things. But that's one thing. Another
00:18:26.320 --> 00:18:28.630
thing is the financial barrier and not
00:18:28.640 --> 00:18:31.029
knowing and people not always being
00:18:31.039 --> 00:18:34.390
clear. The other is
00:18:34.400 --> 00:18:37.750
this is maybe the biggest one.
00:18:37.760 --> 00:18:40.070
People don't know what they need. This
00:18:40.080 --> 00:18:41.909
is the thing I see the most when people
00:18:41.919 --> 00:18:43.190
call me.
00:18:43.200 --> 00:18:45.270
>> What they want they can't have. What
00:18:45.280 --> 00:18:47.510
they want from me they can't have. They
00:18:47.520 --> 00:18:49.990
want to know for sure that they're going
00:18:50.000 --> 00:18:52.390
to be okay financially. And a lot of
00:18:52.400 --> 00:18:54.950
them want someone to tell them they're
00:18:54.960 --> 00:18:57.510
not going to lose their kids 50%. And I
00:18:57.520 --> 00:18:59.669
can't tell them either of those things.
00:18:59.679 --> 00:19:01.350
And something I had to learn in my
00:19:01.360 --> 00:19:03.669
divorce was you are not going to know
00:19:03.679 --> 00:19:04.950
what your finances are going to look
00:19:04.960 --> 00:19:06.470
like until the day you sign that last
00:19:06.480 --> 00:19:09.350
paper. And finances are going to be one
00:19:09.360 --> 00:19:10.950
of the last things you do first. You
00:19:10.960 --> 00:19:14.310
work out the kids typically in the US.
00:19:14.320 --> 00:19:16.070
But most people want they want to know
00:19:16.080 --> 00:19:18.630
how much is my alimony going to be. No
00:19:18.640 --> 00:19:20.950
way to tell you that. But what they need
00:19:20.960 --> 00:19:24.549
more than anything, my belief, is
00:19:24.559 --> 00:19:27.909
emotional support and emotional
00:19:27.919 --> 00:19:30.549
preparation, nervous system preparation,
00:19:30.559 --> 00:19:34.150
but no one knows they need that. So, as
00:19:34.160 --> 00:19:36.150
a divorce professional, we'll get to
00:19:36.160 --> 00:19:38.470
that side of it. I find that there's a
00:19:38.480 --> 00:19:41.510
huge barrier for me getting to people
00:19:41.520 --> 00:19:43.750
because they look at me and say, "She's
00:19:43.760 --> 00:19:46.789
a divorce coach. She's also a therapist.
00:19:46.799 --> 00:19:49.430
She was a lawyer." but what she says
00:19:49.440 --> 00:19:51.029
she's offering me isn't what I really
00:19:51.039 --> 00:19:53.430
want. And I'm like, but it's what you
00:19:53.440 --> 00:19:54.950
need. So,
00:19:54.960 --> 00:19:55.830
>> yeah,
00:19:55.840 --> 00:19:59.110
>> those are all things I see as barriers
00:19:59.120 --> 00:20:01.590
in our industry for people who are going
00:20:01.600 --> 00:20:03.190
through it.
00:20:03.200 --> 00:20:05.430
>> I know hindsight what I wish I had. I
00:20:05.440 --> 00:20:06.950
wish someone had told me how to prepare
00:20:06.960 --> 00:20:08.470
for the meetings, how to prepare my
00:20:08.480 --> 00:20:10.789
nervous system for the meetings so I
00:20:10.799 --> 00:20:12.789
wouldn't freeze and not remember
00:20:12.799 --> 00:20:15.510
anything because I was in survival mode.
00:20:15.520 --> 00:20:17.350
I wish someone would have told me all of
00:20:17.360 --> 00:20:19.029
the ways I was going to grieve that I
00:20:19.039 --> 00:20:23.029
didn't expect. All of the moments
00:20:23.039 --> 00:20:25.669
I wish I had known ahead of time so I
00:20:25.679 --> 00:20:28.070
could have better prepared myself. But
00:20:28.080 --> 00:20:30.470
you don't know what you don't know.
00:20:30.480 --> 00:20:32.470
>> No, especially about divorce. Yeah,
00:20:32.480 --> 00:20:34.230
these are great. These are great topics.
00:20:34.240 --> 00:20:36.549
So with the I made my list. So with the
00:20:36.559 --> 00:20:39.270
first one again I think because we come
00:20:39.280 --> 00:20:42.390
at this not as divorce professionals in
00:20:42.400 --> 00:20:43.990
the same sense that most divorce
00:20:44.000 --> 00:20:46.950
professionals are. We see this from the
00:20:46.960 --> 00:20:49.750
perspective of the of who I was. I built
00:20:49.760 --> 00:20:51.750
fresh starts for me. That was really who
00:20:51.760 --> 00:20:52.789
I built it for.
00:20:52.799 --> 00:20:53.270
>> Me too.
00:20:53.280 --> 00:20:56.470
>> Yep. And so I always look at with the
00:20:56.480 --> 00:20:58.470
reaching out like you said and you hit
00:20:58.480 --> 00:21:00.149
the nail on the head. People are afraid
00:21:00.159 --> 00:21:02.149
to reach out because their phones are
00:21:02.159 --> 00:21:04.789
not safe. All of those things. And so
00:21:04.799 --> 00:21:06.230
this is one of the things that we work
00:21:06.240 --> 00:21:08.630
with our experts on is how can you make
00:21:08.640 --> 00:21:12.310
your systems as easy as possible to get
00:21:12.320 --> 00:21:14.630
people to come to you. I had to learn
00:21:14.640 --> 00:21:16.310
this myself, right? When I first started
00:21:16.320 --> 00:21:18.390
this, I had a calendar for divorce
00:21:18.400 --> 00:21:20.549
consults. And then I was like, "Oh,
00:21:20.559 --> 00:21:22.390
that's not going to work cuz what if you
00:21:22.400 --> 00:21:23.669
sign up for that and it gets on your
00:21:23.679 --> 00:21:25.590
skylight calendar or whatever, right?"
00:21:25.600 --> 00:21:27.190
And so I just call them free chats,
00:21:27.200 --> 00:21:28.630
right? And then anybody can say, "Oh,
00:21:28.640 --> 00:21:30.230
it's a free chat with the school or it's
00:21:30.240 --> 00:21:33.270
a free chat with whatever." Um, and then
00:21:33.280 --> 00:21:34.630
really thinking through the ways of
00:21:34.640 --> 00:21:36.310
communication, right? A lot of women
00:21:36.320 --> 00:21:37.669
especially, they're not going to want to
00:21:37.679 --> 00:21:39.110
text you because then you'll be in their
00:21:39.120 --> 00:21:40.950
phone, right? They don't have money that
00:21:40.960 --> 00:21:42.310
they can pay out of a certain bank
00:21:42.320 --> 00:21:43.590
account. They don't want things to show
00:21:43.600 --> 00:21:45.510
up on their credit card. So, yes, you're
00:21:45.520 --> 00:21:47.110
right. That is a barrier because they
00:21:47.120 --> 00:21:49.110
get so worried. And I say this all the
00:21:49.120 --> 00:21:50.870
time, and I'm going to say it again. I
00:21:50.880 --> 00:21:52.310
wouldn't have been brave enough to reach
00:21:52.320 --> 00:21:52.870
out to me.
00:21:52.880 --> 00:21:54.149
>> Yeah.
00:21:54.159 --> 00:21:55.830
>> I really wouldn't have been because I
00:21:55.840 --> 00:21:57.990
wouldn't have trusted. And I every woman
00:21:58.000 --> 00:22:00.149
that I talk to I hold in such high
00:22:00.159 --> 00:22:02.710
regard that they trusted me to come to
00:22:02.720 --> 00:22:04.789
me and say that they needed help. And
00:22:04.799 --> 00:22:06.630
that's why our experts which I'll get
00:22:06.640 --> 00:22:09.510
into is was so important for us and why
00:22:09.520 --> 00:22:11.510
we don't have a million experts for a
00:22:11.520 --> 00:22:13.669
reason. That's intentional right and
00:22:13.679 --> 00:22:15.110
we've turned people away and we've
00:22:15.120 --> 00:22:16.549
kicked people out and that's very
00:22:16.559 --> 00:22:17.510
intentional.
00:22:17.520 --> 00:22:19.750
>> The financial part again is huge. And
00:22:19.760 --> 00:22:22.070
this is also where and I say this with
00:22:22.080 --> 00:22:23.669
love, but there's a lot of business
00:22:23.679 --> 00:22:25.270
coaches out there who are coaching
00:22:25.280 --> 00:22:27.110
divorce professionals who have no idea
00:22:27.120 --> 00:22:28.230
what they're talking about when it comes
00:22:28.240 --> 00:22:29.990
to the divorce industry.
00:22:30.000 --> 00:22:32.149
>> And so we get professionals who will
00:22:32.159 --> 00:22:33.750
join us and say, "I don't understand.
00:22:33.760 --> 00:22:35.110
Nobody's signing up." And I said, "What
00:22:35.120 --> 00:22:36.950
are your offers? My offer is six months
00:22:36.960 --> 00:22:39.990
for $6,000. Who who could afford that
00:22:40.000 --> 00:22:41.909
first of all? And who and how can you
00:22:41.919 --> 00:22:44.070
there was an there was somebody that I
00:22:44.080 --> 00:22:46.230
not an expert that was part of our
00:22:46.240 --> 00:22:47.750
community but somebody I saw because I
00:22:47.760 --> 00:22:49.350
do a lot of I do a lot of research and
00:22:49.360 --> 00:22:51.990
digging and this was a coach that was
00:22:52.000 --> 00:22:54.149
helping women decide if they wanted to
00:22:54.159 --> 00:22:56.310
leave their marriage and she was
00:22:56.320 --> 00:22:58.310
charging
00:22:58.320 --> 00:23:00.310
$7,000 or something like that and I
00:23:00.320 --> 00:23:02.230
thought to myself this is not even for
00:23:02.240 --> 00:23:04.789
women. This is women who are considering
00:23:04.799 --> 00:23:06.070
where are they going to get that money
00:23:06.080 --> 00:23:08.149
from? Where what bank account does that
00:23:08.159 --> 00:23:09.270
come out of? How are you explaining
00:23:09.280 --> 00:23:11.029
that? How are you justifying that? And
00:23:11.039 --> 00:23:12.630
that's where I think a lot of divorce
00:23:12.640 --> 00:23:14.149
professionals, they'll often start with
00:23:14.159 --> 00:23:16.390
us. And I do offer business coaching
00:23:16.400 --> 00:23:18.230
one-on-one very cheap for our
00:23:18.240 --> 00:23:20.630
professionals. And I'll say, "This is
00:23:20.640 --> 00:23:22.070
how you need to structure your offers
00:23:22.080 --> 00:23:23.669
for people who are actually coming to
00:23:23.679 --> 00:23:25.669
you." And they're like, "Oh my god, I
00:23:25.679 --> 00:23:27.190
never thought about that." Right?
00:23:27.200 --> 00:23:29.190
>> And so that's I think that we have a
00:23:29.200 --> 00:23:30.870
unique perspective because we're meeting
00:23:30.880 --> 00:23:32.630
with real people going through this and
00:23:32.640 --> 00:23:34.310
we're really helping professionals. They
00:23:34.320 --> 00:23:36.310
get the professionals get the best of
00:23:36.320 --> 00:23:37.990
the marketing advice because they're
00:23:38.000 --> 00:23:39.590
getting it from real people.
00:23:39.600 --> 00:23:41.430
>> And the financial part is
00:23:41.440 --> 00:23:44.710
>> so hard, Leslie. And I will say, I talk
00:23:44.720 --> 00:23:47.029
to women every day who are stay-at-home
00:23:47.039 --> 00:23:48.789
parents who do not have a way out. I
00:23:48.799 --> 00:23:51.110
keep a note on my desk. Somebody
00:23:51.120 --> 00:23:52.710
recently said, "I don't know how to get
00:23:52.720 --> 00:23:53.190
out."
00:23:53.200 --> 00:23:53.590
>> Yeah.
00:23:53.600 --> 00:23:55.110
>> And that's just what I keep hearing over
00:23:55.120 --> 00:23:55.590
and over
00:23:55.600 --> 00:23:58.230
>> and over. And so we actually do have a
00:23:58.240 --> 00:23:59.909
free ebook that I wrote a couple years
00:23:59.919 --> 00:24:01.430
ago called How to Get Divorced as a
00:24:01.440 --> 00:24:02.789
Stay-at-home parent, which there was no
00:24:02.799 --> 00:24:05.029
other resources out there like this and
00:24:05.039 --> 00:24:06.710
it is compassionate and it is
00:24:06.720 --> 00:24:10.230
educational and I'm very transparent
00:24:10.240 --> 00:24:11.909
with the women I talk to and I'll say,
00:24:11.919 --> 00:24:13.590
"You need to start making money." And I
00:24:13.600 --> 00:24:15.430
don't mean get a job. That's not what I
00:24:15.440 --> 00:24:17.430
mean. Can you babysit someone's kids,
00:24:17.440 --> 00:24:19.110
right? Can you go work at the school?
00:24:19.120 --> 00:24:21.269
Can you do laundry? Right? Can you make
00:24:21.279 --> 00:24:23.029
20 bucks here and there and just start
00:24:23.039 --> 00:24:25.350
putting that away? A lot of people don't
00:24:25.360 --> 00:24:26.710
like to hear that, right? Because it's
00:24:26.720 --> 00:24:29.029
demeaning for them. But that is how you
00:24:29.039 --> 00:24:30.549
start to build that nest egg, right?
00:24:30.559 --> 00:24:32.310
It's not by joining a coaching thing.
00:24:32.320 --> 00:24:34.230
It's not by getting a certificate in
00:24:34.240 --> 00:24:36.230
this or that or joining an MLM. You got
00:24:36.240 --> 00:24:38.630
to just start making cold hard cash.
00:24:38.640 --> 00:24:40.470
>> And so that's that. But it is it's a
00:24:40.480 --> 00:24:42.230
huge barrier and that's why we're really
00:24:42.240 --> 00:24:43.909
intentional. We don't gate keep any of
00:24:43.919 --> 00:24:46.470
our divorce education. Most I would say
00:24:46.480 --> 00:24:49.110
99.9% of our experts have free at least
00:24:49.120 --> 00:24:51.590
a 10-minute free chat and it's just it's
00:24:51.600 --> 00:24:53.029
and then we have tons of obviously all
00:24:53.039 --> 00:24:55.430
of our workshops are free. We have now
00:24:55.440 --> 00:24:57.029
hundreds of workshops that are led by
00:24:57.039 --> 00:24:59.669
our experts on our website. And recently
00:24:59.679 --> 00:25:01.110
somebody said to us, "Oh, I love your
00:25:01.120 --> 00:25:02.470
classes." And I was like, "What what are
00:25:02.480 --> 00:25:03.590
they talking about classes?" And I'm
00:25:03.600 --> 00:25:05.590
like, "Oh, our workshops. Oh my gosh,
00:25:05.600 --> 00:25:07.590
that's so cool." And so that yes, the
00:25:07.600 --> 00:25:09.350
financial and then also Yes. And here's
00:25:09.360 --> 00:25:10.870
what I would say to the last piece of
00:25:10.880 --> 00:25:12.630
you don't know what you need. I have
00:25:12.640 --> 00:25:15.510
seen hundreds of women tell me, and I'm
00:25:15.520 --> 00:25:17.750
sure this is true for you, "Oh, I put
00:25:17.760 --> 00:25:20.230
down a retainer. I put down a retainer
00:25:20.240 --> 00:25:22.870
for a lawyer for $6,000 and I blew
00:25:22.880 --> 00:25:24.470
through it within a month because we
00:25:24.480 --> 00:25:25.830
were emailing back and forth
00:25:25.840 --> 00:25:27.750
constantly." And I'll say, "Because you
00:25:27.760 --> 00:25:28.950
didn't have a strategy, right? You
00:25:28.960 --> 00:25:31.110
didn't have a divorce coach." And this
00:25:31.120 --> 00:25:33.430
is why a lot of people don't understand.
00:25:33.440 --> 00:25:35.510
And I think I hate the word coach in
00:25:35.520 --> 00:25:36.950
this capacity because it's not really a
00:25:36.960 --> 00:25:37.750
coach. It's really
00:25:37.760 --> 00:25:39.190
>> a support person.
00:25:39.200 --> 00:25:41.269
>> Yeah. Yeah, it's interesting. It's
00:25:41.279 --> 00:25:43.029
>> and a therapist. We love therapists
00:25:43.039 --> 00:25:44.390
obviously, but they're not doing the
00:25:44.400 --> 00:25:45.909
same thing that a divorce coach is
00:25:45.919 --> 00:25:46.789
doing. And so,
00:25:46.799 --> 00:25:48.070
>> we can't, you know, you need to have
00:25:48.080 --> 00:25:49.029
that. No,
00:25:49.039 --> 00:25:50.870
>> I have to wear two different hats. And I
00:25:50.880 --> 00:25:53.269
will tell people like do two things. If
00:25:53.279 --> 00:25:56.149
you live in Florida, you can do either
00:25:56.159 --> 00:25:57.750
one, but we got to choose upfront
00:25:57.760 --> 00:26:00.230
because Florida the law says
00:26:00.240 --> 00:26:02.149
>> I can't have a dual relationship with
00:26:02.159 --> 00:26:05.669
you. No, there is a lot of crossover on
00:26:05.679 --> 00:26:08.710
each side, but it's tricky. But there's
00:26:08.720 --> 00:26:11.029
a strategy. There has to be I always
00:26:11.039 --> 00:26:12.710
tell this story to women who I'm talking
00:26:12.720 --> 00:26:14.950
to and I and my first stop is always a
00:26:14.960 --> 00:26:16.390
divorce coach. I say the first stop on
00:26:16.400 --> 00:26:18.710
the divorce train is not a lawyer. You
00:26:18.720 --> 00:26:20.230
don't go for the shark lawyer. You don't
00:26:20.240 --> 00:26:22.149
put a retainer down. You go divorce
00:26:22.159 --> 00:26:23.830
coach, financial analyst. You start
00:26:23.840 --> 00:26:27.350
making some educated decisions there.
00:26:27.360 --> 00:26:29.190
And I always say when I went to meet
00:26:29.200 --> 00:26:31.510
with my lawyer, she said to me, "What do
00:26:31.520 --> 00:26:33.190
you want, Olivia?" And I said, "A
00:26:33.200 --> 00:26:35.669
divorce." Hello. And she's like, "No,
00:26:35.679 --> 00:26:36.950
but what do you want from it?" I was
00:26:36.960 --> 00:26:40.149
like, I didn't even know I was could ask
00:26:40.159 --> 00:26:41.750
that question. And there's so many
00:26:41.760 --> 00:26:43.510
components and that is one of the things
00:26:43.520 --> 00:26:45.190
and you alluded to this before a little
00:26:45.200 --> 00:26:45.990
bit
00:26:46.000 --> 00:26:48.630
>> that when you are vetting for a coach or
00:26:48.640 --> 00:26:50.470
somebody to support you,
00:26:50.480 --> 00:26:52.070
>> don't go based on their social media
00:26:52.080 --> 00:26:53.990
platform. Don't go based on the digital
00:26:54.000 --> 00:26:55.510
products they have. Because what I've
00:26:55.520 --> 00:26:57.990
seen t happen time and again is that
00:26:58.000 --> 00:26:59.590
there's big creators, there's big
00:26:59.600 --> 00:27:01.190
influencers who have these digital
00:27:01.200 --> 00:27:03.190
products, parenting plans and blah blah
00:27:03.200 --> 00:27:06.630
blah blah, and they're not made for you.
00:27:06.640 --> 00:27:09.029
And so they end up you spend $2,000 on a
00:27:09.039 --> 00:27:10.310
parenting plan, it's going to get ripped
00:27:10.320 --> 00:27:13.110
up. And so I would say your number one
00:27:13.120 --> 00:27:15.590
step if you're considering divorce is
00:27:15.600 --> 00:27:17.110
talk to me and I will connect you to
00:27:17.120 --> 00:27:19.669
some great coaches and strategists
00:27:19.679 --> 00:27:21.830
>> and talk to those strategists. And I
00:27:21.840 --> 00:27:24.549
always say have a few phone calls for
00:27:24.559 --> 00:27:27.110
those free consults and see who do you
00:27:27.120 --> 00:27:29.430
feel safest with, who do you vibe with?
00:27:29.440 --> 00:27:32.310
And then you can say, "Okay, now can we
00:27:32.320 --> 00:27:34.310
do a paid strategy session?" Yeah.
00:27:34.320 --> 00:27:36.070
>> And then if you still want to continue
00:27:36.080 --> 00:27:38.070
working with them, do it. But you have
00:27:38.080 --> 00:27:39.590
to ease your way into that.
00:27:39.600 --> 00:27:39.909
>> Right.
00:27:39.919 --> 00:27:41.669
>> And that is I think the problem that a
00:27:41.679 --> 00:27:43.350
lot of on the coaching side, they don't
00:27:43.360 --> 00:27:44.870
understand. Why did this person sign
00:27:44.880 --> 00:27:46.470
with me? Why didn't they they don't know
00:27:46.480 --> 00:27:46.950
you, right?
00:27:46.960 --> 00:27:47.830
>> They have no idea.
00:27:47.840 --> 00:27:49.669
>> They have they have no no idea who you
00:27:49.679 --> 00:27:53.350
are. And so it is a tricky, but it's so
00:27:53.360 --> 00:27:55.669
important. And I as divorce coaches save
00:27:55.679 --> 00:27:57.830
you so much money down the line. They
00:27:57.840 --> 00:27:59.909
save you so much headache and hassle.
00:27:59.919 --> 00:28:03.430
and they are a huge part of having a
00:28:03.440 --> 00:28:05.110
successful divorce that's not going to
00:28:05.120 --> 00:28:07.830
burn you out and really transform you in
00:28:07.840 --> 00:28:08.870
a way that you didn't want to be
00:28:08.880 --> 00:28:10.389
transformed, we'll say.
00:28:10.399 --> 00:28:12.470
>> Yeah. Can take away if they're the right
00:28:12.480 --> 00:28:14.470
divorce coach, they can take away so
00:28:14.480 --> 00:28:16.389
much of the scary parts.
00:28:16.399 --> 00:28:17.830
>> Yeah. some of the things you just
00:28:17.840 --> 00:28:19.190
mentioned like
00:28:19.200 --> 00:28:21.110
>> preparing them for the lawyers meetings,
00:28:21.120 --> 00:28:23.110
helping them choose the right lawyers,
00:28:23.120 --> 00:28:24.710
knowing which questions I have always
00:28:24.720 --> 00:28:27.029
have I give people a list of questions
00:28:27.039 --> 00:28:29.990
and a list of ways to save money on your
00:28:30.000 --> 00:28:31.110
attorneys
00:28:31.120 --> 00:28:33.269
>> because like you said, a lot of my
00:28:33.279 --> 00:28:36.950
clients don't come to me until later and
00:28:36.960 --> 00:28:39.990
they're like, "Oh my god, I had 20
00:28:40.000 --> 00:28:41.590
grand.
00:28:41.600 --> 00:28:43.669
I've already spent it because they're in
00:28:43.679 --> 00:28:46.070
a high conflict situation.
00:28:46.080 --> 00:28:48.149
there. Every email I'm like, okay, we're
00:28:48.159 --> 00:28:48.950
going to talk about how you're
00:28:48.960 --> 00:28:50.630
structuring these emails and how you're
00:28:50.640 --> 00:28:53.029
making your list. We're not sending one
00:28:53.039 --> 00:28:55.750
every time. You think you need to like
00:28:55.760 --> 00:28:58.630
talk to me first and we'll create.
00:28:58.640 --> 00:29:00.710
>> So, yeah, it's so much strategy. I love
00:29:00.720 --> 00:29:04.789
that word instead of coach because yes,
00:29:04.799 --> 00:29:08.070
there is some coaching, but even I help
00:29:08.080 --> 00:29:10.630
some people just respond to text
00:29:10.640 --> 00:29:12.870
messages because they are in such a I
00:29:12.880 --> 00:29:14.149
conflict situation
00:29:14.159 --> 00:29:15.990
>> that they're screenshotting and send it
00:29:16.000 --> 00:29:18.230
to me and say
00:29:18.240 --> 00:29:20.789
>> cuz I have a a few not very many because
00:29:20.799 --> 00:29:22.470
I can't be available for but I have a
00:29:22.480 --> 00:29:24.070
few people who are kind of on like a
00:29:24.080 --> 00:29:25.990
retainer situation
00:29:26.000 --> 00:29:28.470
>> where they have access to me. Yeah.
00:29:28.480 --> 00:29:31.430
because they need that level of support.
00:29:31.440 --> 00:29:32.950
I would have loved to
00:29:32.960 --> 00:29:34.230
>> I would have loved it.
00:29:34.240 --> 00:29:35.110
>> But
00:29:35.120 --> 00:29:37.269
>> again, I can't do it for a lot of people
00:29:37.279 --> 00:29:39.590
because then I wouldn't have time,
00:29:39.600 --> 00:29:41.669
>> but I love doing it and I can look at
00:29:41.679 --> 00:29:43.750
their thing and say, "Okay,
00:29:43.760 --> 00:29:46.470
>> number one, it just makes them pause and
00:29:46.480 --> 00:29:48.630
so they're not reactive, right?" like
00:29:48.640 --> 00:29:51.590
some of these high conflict situations,
00:29:51.600 --> 00:29:54.789
people do have a very real and very
00:29:54.799 --> 00:29:58.789
valid fear of losing their children
00:29:58.799 --> 00:30:00.710
>> and
00:30:00.720 --> 00:30:03.590
I've seen it happen unfortunately. So
00:30:03.600 --> 00:30:06.310
just having someone help, okay, how do
00:30:06.320 --> 00:30:08.230
we respond? Do we respond? Don't
00:30:08.240 --> 00:30:10.149
respond. Like that kind of thing.
00:30:10.159 --> 00:30:13.669
Because I think what we don't realize
00:30:13.679 --> 00:30:16.789
when we're in it is how much of the time
00:30:16.799 --> 00:30:18.549
we're in survival mode just from the
00:30:18.559 --> 00:30:19.590
process.
00:30:19.600 --> 00:30:22.870
>> So our nervous system isn't allowing us
00:30:22.880 --> 00:30:25.269
to think rationally.
00:30:25.279 --> 00:30:28.230
>> And so having someone to if it's once a
00:30:28.240 --> 00:30:31.029
week or even a daily check-in
00:30:31.039 --> 00:30:33.909
>> to say how are you like are you
00:30:33.919 --> 00:30:35.029
grounded?
00:30:35.039 --> 00:30:37.110
>> Like where's your head today? Like how
00:30:37.120 --> 00:30:39.830
does your body feel? Have you meditated?
00:30:39.840 --> 00:30:40.630
And
00:30:40.640 --> 00:30:41.029
>> yeah,
00:30:41.039 --> 00:30:43.110
>> they were like, "Oh,
00:30:43.120 --> 00:30:44.230
>> no.
00:30:44.240 --> 00:30:45.269
>> No,
00:30:45.279 --> 00:30:46.310
>> definitely not." Yeah.
00:30:46.320 --> 00:30:48.549
>> So, yeah, I think and I think you're
00:30:48.559 --> 00:30:50.870
right, like looking in social media for
00:30:50.880 --> 00:30:54.710
someone is hard. So, your platform
00:30:54.720 --> 00:30:58.789
takes away some of that um unease of
00:30:58.799 --> 00:31:02.149
like how do I choose? I actually you
00:31:02.159 --> 00:31:04.549
sent me someone a few just a couple
00:31:04.559 --> 00:31:06.630
weeks ago and I loved it because we had
00:31:06.640 --> 00:31:09.029
a great call and then she said okay I'm
00:31:09.039 --> 00:31:10.950
taking the month of September to do all
00:31:10.960 --> 00:31:14.230
the free resources on the website
00:31:14.240 --> 00:31:15.029
>> starts
00:31:15.039 --> 00:31:17.669
>> and I said cool and she was like I'm
00:31:17.679 --> 00:31:20.149
going to make a decision in October so I
00:31:20.159 --> 00:31:22.870
loved this conversation you know I'll
00:31:22.880 --> 00:31:25.029
I'll reach out in October and I was like
00:31:25.039 --> 00:31:28.470
perfect this is perfect this is exactly
00:31:28.480 --> 00:31:31.430
>> so I want to talk about the wonderful
00:31:31.440 --> 00:31:33.990
way you did something that I wish I wish
00:31:34.000 --> 00:31:36.310
I thought of it to be on it. You created
00:31:36.320 --> 00:31:40.230
a way for these resources to be free for
00:31:40.240 --> 00:31:42.630
people by charging the professionals
00:31:42.640 --> 00:31:43.430
which
00:31:43.440 --> 00:31:45.190
>> is wonderful because it's not a high
00:31:45.200 --> 00:31:47.350
charge right for each professional. No,
00:31:47.360 --> 00:31:50.070
>> you pay to be part of the registry
00:31:50.080 --> 00:31:53.909
>> and you in receive a ton of like you
00:31:53.919 --> 00:31:55.830
said training and meeting and
00:31:55.840 --> 00:31:59.110
networking. So the benefits are huge for
00:31:59.120 --> 00:32:03.990
that, but it allows you to offer free re
00:32:04.000 --> 00:32:07.190
truly free resources
00:32:07.200 --> 00:32:10.870
>> to people who need it more than ever. I
00:32:10.880 --> 00:32:11.509
love
00:32:11.519 --> 00:32:13.990
>> Yeah. Yeah. Thank you. It was definitely
00:32:14.000 --> 00:32:16.070
like I said before, we set up with this
00:32:16.080 --> 00:32:17.830
business plan and we had no idea how we
00:32:17.840 --> 00:32:20.710
were going to make money and then a
00:32:20.720 --> 00:32:21.990
friend of ours said, "Why don't you do
00:32:22.000 --> 00:32:23.269
what you've always done, which is
00:32:23.279 --> 00:32:25.909
marketing and PR?" And so we said,
00:32:25.919 --> 00:32:27.430
"Okay, let's build a membership out."
00:32:27.440 --> 00:32:29.110
And again, this was a year into the we
00:32:29.120 --> 00:32:31.110
were like figuring this out as we went
00:32:31.120 --> 00:32:32.789
along. But I knew we had to get this
00:32:32.799 --> 00:32:34.710
into the world. And so we have a
00:32:34.720 --> 00:32:36.549
membership for and there's this is not
00:32:36.559 --> 00:32:38.149
an unusual thing. There's memberships
00:32:38.159 --> 00:32:40.630
for divorce professionals. What we offer
00:32:40.640 --> 00:32:43.269
and the way we run is completely unique
00:32:43.279 --> 00:32:45.509
because it's us who made it up and from
00:32:45.519 --> 00:32:47.830
our imagination. And so we have there's
00:32:47.840 --> 00:32:49.990
two different levels. It's $25 a month.
00:32:50.000 --> 00:32:51.830
You still get referrals. You can
00:32:51.840 --> 00:32:53.509
contribute to the magazine. You can come
00:32:53.519 --> 00:32:55.590
to networking. You can do a lot of
00:32:55.600 --> 00:32:57.830
stuff, run workshops with us. 25 bucks a
00:32:57.840 --> 00:32:59.269
month, which is nothing.
00:32:59.279 --> 00:33:01.430
>> And then for $55 a month, you get all of
00:33:01.440 --> 00:33:03.029
that and you can be a guest on our
00:33:03.039 --> 00:33:05.110
podcasts. And so we have multiple top
00:33:05.120 --> 00:33:09.350
podcasts. And also for $55 a month, you
00:33:09.360 --> 00:33:11.430
get business coaching, two hours a week.
00:33:11.440 --> 00:33:13.590
There's open office business coaching
00:33:13.600 --> 00:33:15.269
and there's co-working. There's
00:33:15.279 --> 00:33:17.029
accountability groups. And then of
00:33:17.039 --> 00:33:18.789
course, our professionals get discounts.
00:33:18.799 --> 00:33:20.389
discounts on business coaching
00:33:20.399 --> 00:33:22.310
one-on-one which I love doing because I
00:33:22.320 --> 00:33:24.310
I know our experts by that point and so
00:33:24.320 --> 00:33:26.710
it's really easy and fun. You get tons
00:33:26.720 --> 00:33:28.870
of like you said Leslie emails about
00:33:28.880 --> 00:33:31.110
marketing and business building and all
00:33:31.120 --> 00:33:33.590
of that. We have expert networking and I
00:33:33.600 --> 00:33:36.070
think what makes it very unique too is
00:33:36.080 --> 00:33:37.350
because you said there's a lot of ick
00:33:37.360 --> 00:33:38.950
out there. The divorce industry is a lot
00:33:38.960 --> 00:33:41.110
and we've had a lot of ick come through
00:33:41.120 --> 00:33:43.509
and leave. It doesn't stay and that's
00:33:43.519 --> 00:33:45.350
because we do make all of our experts
00:33:45.360 --> 00:33:46.950
sign an ethos that says that they are
00:33:46.960 --> 00:33:48.870
shamefree. They're non-judgmental and
00:33:48.880 --> 00:33:51.190
they're inclusive. We wanted this to be
00:33:51.200 --> 00:33:53.190
a safe place. I'm really proud to say we
00:33:53.200 --> 00:33:55.269
have people from all walks of life. We
00:33:55.279 --> 00:33:57.509
have I've had multiple deaf women come
00:33:57.519 --> 00:33:59.190
to us who needed divorce support. I
00:33:59.200 --> 00:34:00.230
actually have one I'm going to send to
00:34:00.240 --> 00:34:01.909
you right now because she needed the
00:34:01.919 --> 00:34:03.190
support. I was like, I think Leslie will
00:34:03.200 --> 00:34:05.509
be able to help her. Lots of different
00:34:05.519 --> 00:34:08.470
family types and very LGBTQ plus
00:34:08.480 --> 00:34:10.230
friendly. Tons of different experts for
00:34:10.240 --> 00:34:12.710
everything. Neurode divergently friendly
00:34:12.720 --> 00:34:14.710
because I have ADHD and that's really
00:34:14.720 --> 00:34:16.149
hard. And that's something else I'm
00:34:16.159 --> 00:34:17.510
building out for next year is more
00:34:17.520 --> 00:34:18.869
content around that.
00:34:18.879 --> 00:34:21.750
>> We are also I think it helps that I have
00:34:21.760 --> 00:34:23.909
no shame. So I'll talk about anything on
00:34:23.919 --> 00:34:24.790
the internet.
00:34:24.800 --> 00:34:28.149
>> So we we really we dive into topics like
00:34:28.159 --> 00:34:31.030
sex and relationships and emotional
00:34:31.040 --> 00:34:32.869
abuse and all of these things
00:34:32.879 --> 00:34:35.669
>> and have the conversations. And what's
00:34:35.679 --> 00:34:37.190
happening is that then the women who
00:34:37.200 --> 00:34:39.510
need the support are really coming
00:34:39.520 --> 00:34:42.389
>> to us and saying, I there's so many
00:34:42.399 --> 00:34:43.669
women that come and say, "I found you
00:34:43.679 --> 00:34:44.950
because of a thread of yours or because
00:34:44.960 --> 00:34:46.869
of an Instagram post. I didn't know I
00:34:46.879 --> 00:34:48.069
was in an emotionally abusive
00:34:48.079 --> 00:34:49.349
relationship and now I'm ready to get
00:34:49.359 --> 00:34:51.750
out." I mean, we had someone email us
00:34:51.760 --> 00:34:52.790
the other day and this was like the
00:34:52.800 --> 00:34:54.470
epitome of this was the again the
00:34:54.480 --> 00:34:56.869
definition of success. The email went
00:34:56.879 --> 00:34:58.310
something like, "I found you on
00:34:58.320 --> 00:35:00.630
Instagram because of your emotional
00:35:00.640 --> 00:35:04.790
abuse content." And then I decided that
00:35:04.800 --> 00:35:06.550
I needed to get out of my marriage. So,
00:35:06.560 --> 00:35:08.630
I reached out to your professionals and
00:35:08.640 --> 00:35:10.950
I got a divorce. And then I made a
00:35:10.960 --> 00:35:13.510
registry and somebody from the registry
00:35:13.520 --> 00:35:15.430
fairies, which I'll get into, sent me
00:35:15.440 --> 00:35:17.030
sheets and towels. And it happened to be
00:35:17.040 --> 00:35:18.790
my birthday. And so, I got them. And I
00:35:18.800 --> 00:35:20.310
was like, could this have been any more
00:35:20.320 --> 00:35:24.390
perfect? Um, and we just we wanted to
00:35:24.400 --> 00:35:27.190
make it divorce education should be free
00:35:27.200 --> 00:35:28.950
because we spend our whole life thinking
00:35:28.960 --> 00:35:30.710
about our wedding and so why should we
00:35:30.720 --> 00:35:33.030
not educate on divorce and I've had a
00:35:33.040 --> 00:35:34.790
lot of women come to me and go I've
00:35:34.800 --> 00:35:36.390
looked for parenting plans and
00:35:36.400 --> 00:35:38.069
everything is gatekept behind a payw
00:35:38.079 --> 00:35:40.069
wall
00:35:40.079 --> 00:35:42.069
>> it's expensive and like we have that and
00:35:42.079 --> 00:35:44.150
so we are I would say viciously
00:35:44.160 --> 00:35:46.790
aggressive about providing free content
00:35:46.800 --> 00:35:49.349
for people and free support and again it
00:35:49.359 --> 00:35:51.829
blows people's minds and We've had a lot
00:35:51.839 --> 00:35:54.390
of other industry professionals and
00:35:54.400 --> 00:35:55.829
founders say, "You guys really you
00:35:55.839 --> 00:35:56.710
should charge more." And we're like,
00:35:56.720 --> 00:35:58.710
"No, we want to make this accessible
00:35:58.720 --> 00:36:00.230
because we also have a lot of divorce
00:36:00.240 --> 00:36:02.310
professionals that are starting out and
00:36:02.320 --> 00:36:04.390
we want to be there for them." And we
00:36:04.400 --> 00:36:05.990
are the place that now when people
00:36:06.000 --> 00:36:07.829
graduate a coaching program, they'll
00:36:07.839 --> 00:36:09.750
they come and then they learn and then
00:36:09.760 --> 00:36:12.069
they get referrals. And so it's just
00:36:12.079 --> 00:36:14.069
this been this really beautiful
00:36:14.079 --> 00:36:16.630
ecosystem that we did not this was not
00:36:16.640 --> 00:36:18.069
the intention when we set out to build
00:36:18.079 --> 00:36:20.550
it. The intention was to have a one-stop
00:36:20.560 --> 00:36:22.390
shop for everything you need to begin
00:36:22.400 --> 00:36:24.230
again and to have it safe and vetted and
00:36:24.240 --> 00:36:26.310
all of these things, but to really see
00:36:26.320 --> 00:36:29.430
this whole, you know, empire being built
00:36:29.440 --> 00:36:32.150
in front of us and how it is directly
00:36:32.160 --> 00:36:34.230
positively affecting everybody and then
00:36:34.240 --> 00:36:36.310
therefore the world has been truly
00:36:36.320 --> 00:36:37.030
mind-blowing.
00:36:37.040 --> 00:36:41.030
>> Yeah. No, I love it. I love it. I love
00:36:41.040 --> 00:36:45.190
the way you provide the things to people
00:36:45.200 --> 00:36:47.750
who need them. I think for me
00:36:47.760 --> 00:36:51.109
personally, like I've always wanted I
00:36:51.119 --> 00:36:53.510
used to always say I would love it if a
00:36:53.520 --> 00:36:54.790
billionaire would just give me a bunch
00:36:54.800 --> 00:36:56.390
of money and I could just go do good
00:36:56.400 --> 00:36:58.310
things for people. Like I don't have to
00:36:58.320 --> 00:37:00.470
charge them. And I think that's true for
00:37:00.480 --> 00:37:03.510
a lot of the people in the therapy space
00:37:03.520 --> 00:37:05.270
and the divorce space.
00:37:05.280 --> 00:37:07.349
>> We don't really want to charge you, but
00:37:07.359 --> 00:37:09.270
like we actually have to make a living,
00:37:09.280 --> 00:37:10.230
too.
00:37:10.240 --> 00:37:13.670
>> Yeah. And so what you've done is you've
00:37:13.680 --> 00:37:16.230
found a way to do both
00:37:16.240 --> 00:37:18.950
>> to support the business and grow it
00:37:18.960 --> 00:37:20.069
because
00:37:20.079 --> 00:37:21.829
>> a lot of my own personal work right now
00:37:21.839 --> 00:37:25.030
is around my my abundance wounds, right?
00:37:25.040 --> 00:37:27.270
And my lack and all of the things
00:37:27.280 --> 00:37:29.990
because the women that I want to serve
00:37:30.000 --> 00:37:32.710
are not just the whi not just me, right?
00:37:32.720 --> 00:37:34.950
They're not just the people like me.
00:37:34.960 --> 00:37:37.349
They're mostly
00:37:37.359 --> 00:37:39.910
the women who are like my mother
00:37:39.920 --> 00:37:42.390
>> who got nothing, who had nothing, who
00:37:42.400 --> 00:37:44.870
was forced to work in a factory 12hour
00:37:44.880 --> 00:37:49.270
days, 7 days a week in a rubber factory
00:37:49.280 --> 00:37:53.270
to support us when my dad left. He just
00:37:53.280 --> 00:37:57.349
left and um never paid anything. And so
00:37:57.359 --> 00:37:59.829
she suffered and we watched her suffer
00:37:59.839 --> 00:38:01.589
and Renaisser came to the door to get
00:38:01.599 --> 00:38:04.470
our furniture. like that little girl,
00:38:04.480 --> 00:38:06.150
that's the little girl that I want to
00:38:06.160 --> 00:38:08.790
serve and her mother, right?
00:38:08.800 --> 00:38:12.150
>> So, it's really hard to take money for
00:38:12.160 --> 00:38:15.109
it. And so, you and your sister have
00:38:15.119 --> 00:38:17.109
figured out a way that you don't have to
00:38:17.119 --> 00:38:20.950
like you can work around it and the
00:38:20.960 --> 00:38:23.589
registry provides so many of the things
00:38:23.599 --> 00:38:25.510
that people need.
00:38:25.520 --> 00:38:25.829
>> Yeah.
00:38:25.839 --> 00:38:27.750
>> In such a beautiful creative way. So, I
00:38:27.760 --> 00:38:29.109
love it.
00:38:29.119 --> 00:38:32.069
I think I want to switch gears to
00:38:32.079 --> 00:38:34.390
professionals a little bit even though
00:38:34.400 --> 00:38:36.710
we're kind of already talking about it.
00:38:36.720 --> 00:38:39.910
We we live in this really weird weird
00:38:39.920 --> 00:38:43.430
online world, right? So, every time you
00:38:43.440 --> 00:38:45.270
like someone or you follow them, you
00:38:45.280 --> 00:38:47.910
immediately get a mini chat
00:38:47.920 --> 00:38:49.670
with whatever they're trying to sell.
00:38:49.680 --> 00:38:50.630
>> Y
00:38:50.640 --> 00:38:52.790
>> I think I'm pretty sure my VA might have
00:38:52.800 --> 00:38:55.670
that set up on mine, too, because I
00:38:55.680 --> 00:38:57.670
don't even know anymore. And then they
00:38:57.680 --> 00:38:59.109
try to sell people try to give you
00:38:59.119 --> 00:39:00.950
something free
00:39:00.960 --> 00:39:03.349
and then you know that the free thing is
00:39:03.359 --> 00:39:05.430
just an opportunity for them to sell
00:39:05.440 --> 00:39:07.829
upsell you something.
00:39:07.839 --> 00:39:09.510
So
00:39:09.520 --> 00:39:12.150
I think a message before we move really
00:39:12.160 --> 00:39:15.030
into the professional side of that
00:39:15.040 --> 00:39:16.950
message for people who are listening who
00:39:16.960 --> 00:39:18.470
are thinking about getting a divorce or
00:39:18.480 --> 00:39:20.069
getting a divorce and they need support
00:39:20.079 --> 00:39:23.190
is that you're not going to upsell them.
00:39:23.200 --> 00:39:27.190
Like the 15minute call with Olivia is to
00:39:27.200 --> 00:39:30.310
figure out which direction to point you.
00:39:30.320 --> 00:39:32.630
>> Yep. And you always get resources. So
00:39:32.640 --> 00:39:34.630
after we chat you, we have a Facebook
00:39:34.640 --> 00:39:36.790
group, we have a Substack group, we have
00:39:36.800 --> 00:39:39.349
three free ebooks, we have tons and tons
00:39:39.359 --> 00:39:41.750
of podcasts and workshops and webinars.
00:39:41.760 --> 00:39:44.310
You always get free resources and you
00:39:44.320 --> 00:39:45.910
typically will get a free call or
00:39:45.920 --> 00:39:47.510
consultation with multiple divorce
00:39:47.520 --> 00:39:49.510
professionals. And again, these are not
00:39:49.520 --> 00:39:50.790
people who they're going to tell you
00:39:50.800 --> 00:39:52.310
what their services are, but they're not
00:39:52.320 --> 00:39:55.430
like making you buy anything. I'm very
00:39:55.440 --> 00:39:57.109
clear when I have my calls. I have my
00:39:57.119 --> 00:39:58.870
little spiel I do, and I always say,
00:39:58.880 --> 00:40:00.630
"Please take advantage of all the free
00:40:00.640 --> 00:40:02.150
stuff, right? That's what it's there
00:40:02.160 --> 00:40:04.950
for." And our job is not to lock anybody
00:40:04.960 --> 00:40:06.630
into a six-month coaching program.
00:40:06.640 --> 00:40:08.950
That's not what we're doing, right? But
00:40:08.960 --> 00:40:11.190
you do need certain things. And so part
00:40:11.200 --> 00:40:13.750
of what I do is I'll say to somebody, it
00:40:13.760 --> 00:40:16.230
sounds like a worthy investment might be
00:40:16.240 --> 00:40:18.790
a 195 strategy call, dollar strategy
00:40:18.800 --> 00:40:20.870
call with a CDFA or with a divorce
00:40:20.880 --> 00:40:22.390
coach, right? Because that is going to
00:40:22.400 --> 00:40:24.310
ultimately save you money down the line.
00:40:24.320 --> 00:40:26.470
Another reason I love divorce coaches
00:40:26.480 --> 00:40:29.430
and I've again was not what I thought
00:40:29.440 --> 00:40:31.190
coming into this, but it's been really
00:40:31.200 --> 00:40:33.270
interesting is that especially for
00:40:33.280 --> 00:40:35.750
primary parents or stay-at-home moms,
00:40:35.760 --> 00:40:37.589
they don't know how to explain that to
00:40:37.599 --> 00:40:38.710
the lawyer. Right.
00:40:38.720 --> 00:40:40.870
>> Right. And so having a divorce coach
00:40:40.880 --> 00:40:42.870
translate what you do in your day-to-day
00:40:42.880 --> 00:40:45.349
life to the lawyer so they believe you
00:40:45.359 --> 00:40:47.750
is a huge part of this process.
00:40:47.760 --> 00:40:50.069
>> And yes, there's literally no upsell. I
00:40:50.079 --> 00:40:51.510
say there's no obligation. I don't care
00:40:51.520 --> 00:40:53.109
if you never talk to me again. That's
00:40:53.119 --> 00:40:55.190
fine. Everybody always does. But we just
00:40:55.200 --> 00:40:57.829
want
00:40:57.839 --> 00:41:00.710
>> Excuse me. We want people to know that
00:41:00.720 --> 00:41:03.829
they can truly come to us and not feel
00:41:03.839 --> 00:41:07.270
obligated to do anything whatsoever. And
00:41:07.280 --> 00:41:08.630
there's a lot of people that just sign
00:41:08.640 --> 00:41:10.790
up for our workshops. And now that we're
00:41:10.800 --> 00:41:12.630
five years in, I can tell you there's
00:41:12.640 --> 00:41:15.430
people that I've met with years ago that
00:41:15.440 --> 00:41:17.030
are just coming back now saying, "I'm
00:41:17.040 --> 00:41:19.030
finally ready to go through this."
00:41:19.040 --> 00:41:19.349
>> Yeah.
00:41:19.359 --> 00:41:21.030
>> Yeah. It takes a long time. I know. I
00:41:21.040 --> 00:41:24.069
thought about it for a long time. And
00:41:24.079 --> 00:41:28.150
that's okay. And yeah, and the I do when
00:41:28.160 --> 00:41:30.790
you send me someone, we set up a free
00:41:30.800 --> 00:41:33.030
call and in that 30 minute call
00:41:33.040 --> 00:41:35.190
sometimes we accomplish a lot. like it
00:41:35.200 --> 00:41:37.910
can be whatever the person wants to do
00:41:37.920 --> 00:41:40.630
in that 30 minutes. And you even I think
00:41:40.640 --> 00:41:43.270
recommended to me. I now have a a 90
00:41:43.280 --> 00:41:46.309
minutes for $90 intro call like for
00:41:46.319 --> 00:41:49.589
anyone who's signing up. That was
00:41:49.599 --> 00:41:51.349
something for me that was like okay this
00:41:51.359 --> 00:41:53.670
is a more affordable than my regular
00:41:53.680 --> 00:41:56.470
coaching calls and most coaching calls.
00:41:56.480 --> 00:41:59.589
And yet in 90 minutes it's a power
00:41:59.599 --> 00:42:02.069
session right? If you want to power
00:42:02.079 --> 00:42:04.790
through everything we need to do in 90
00:42:04.800 --> 00:42:06.550
minutes like come with a list and we
00:42:06.560 --> 00:42:08.950
will check everything off. I like being
00:42:08.960 --> 00:42:11.750
able to offer that. It's more affordable
00:42:11.760 --> 00:42:15.270
than what most, you know, full sessions
00:42:15.280 --> 00:42:18.630
are. And I like it. I feel like I'm kind
00:42:18.640 --> 00:42:20.150
of giving back a little bit with the
00:42:20.160 --> 00:42:22.790
free consult and the 90-minute call. So,
00:42:22.800 --> 00:42:24.069
>> and then they know you and they trust
00:42:24.079 --> 00:42:25.750
you and they can come back to you. And
00:42:25.760 --> 00:42:27.349
what we've seen that's really cool too
00:42:27.359 --> 00:42:29.190
is because we offer this all this free
00:42:29.200 --> 00:42:31.190
these free resources, the friends and
00:42:31.200 --> 00:42:32.870
family of these people are like, "Oh,
00:42:32.880 --> 00:42:34.630
this is great. I'll send them this. I'll
00:42:34.640 --> 00:42:35.910
provide them this. I'll send them to
00:42:35.920 --> 00:42:38.309
you." And it gives them something really
00:42:38.319 --> 00:42:39.430
active to do as well.
00:42:39.440 --> 00:42:43.190
>> Right. Right. Yes. So for let's switch
00:42:43.200 --> 00:42:45.349
gears hats a little bit. I know we are
00:42:45.359 --> 00:42:47.829
almost out of time so we'll do keep this
00:42:47.839 --> 00:42:51.750
part short. For people who are in the
00:42:51.760 --> 00:42:57.430
divorce space, what do you think
00:42:57.440 --> 00:42:59.589
people working with people getting
00:42:59.599 --> 00:43:00.790
divorced, so it could be a divorce
00:43:00.800 --> 00:43:03.430
coach, it could be a financial, could be
00:43:03.440 --> 00:43:06.950
a therapist. What do you think that we
00:43:06.960 --> 00:43:08.790
need to know that we don't quite
00:43:08.800 --> 00:43:10.870
understand? What could we be doing
00:43:10.880 --> 00:43:12.710
better?
00:43:12.720 --> 00:43:14.069
I love that question. Nobody's ever
00:43:14.079 --> 00:43:15.670
asked me that. I think it's really
00:43:15.680 --> 00:43:17.430
important to understand what their
00:43:17.440 --> 00:43:20.630
household looks like. One question I ask
00:43:20.640 --> 00:43:22.470
on every single phone call is, "Is the
00:43:22.480 --> 00:43:24.630
email address I have for you safe?"
00:43:24.640 --> 00:43:27.829
Because often it's not. And I think we
00:43:27.839 --> 00:43:30.790
need to really, so many times we get in
00:43:30.800 --> 00:43:32.069
this business perspective and it's like,
00:43:32.079 --> 00:43:33.510
"Here's my offers and here's what I'm
00:43:33.520 --> 00:43:35.109
going to do." You need to step back and
00:43:35.119 --> 00:43:36.470
think, what does the day-to-day look
00:43:36.480 --> 00:43:38.309
like in their household? Are they able
00:43:38.319 --> 00:43:39.990
to book a call or do they have kids with
00:43:40.000 --> 00:43:42.230
them all the time? Um, one of the most
00:43:42.240 --> 00:43:46.710
heartbreaking calls I had recently was
00:43:46.720 --> 00:43:49.190
it was not somebody actually that was
00:43:49.200 --> 00:43:50.550
the heartbreaking part wasn't the
00:43:50.560 --> 00:43:53.190
divorce part. It was a mother who was
00:43:53.200 --> 00:43:54.870
and by the way, every single woman I
00:43:54.880 --> 00:43:56.309
talked to the most beautiful human,
00:43:56.319 --> 00:43:57.510
right? That just truly the most
00:43:57.520 --> 00:44:00.550
beautiful people inside and out. and she
00:44:00.560 --> 00:44:02.230
was calling me the car, which a lot of
00:44:02.240 --> 00:44:04.790
people do on Zoom, and she had a very
00:44:04.800 --> 00:44:06.710
highly special needs child in the car
00:44:06.720 --> 00:44:09.190
with her. And she
00:44:09.200 --> 00:44:11.990
couldn't get a word out without also
00:44:12.000 --> 00:44:14.390
addressing the child's needs. And boy,
00:44:14.400 --> 00:44:16.710
my heart just broke because she was
00:44:16.720 --> 00:44:18.710
trying so hard to get the support she
00:44:18.720 --> 00:44:20.309
needed to get out of a not great
00:44:20.319 --> 00:44:23.349
marriage. And she was just committing
00:44:23.359 --> 00:44:24.630
all of her time to her child. And I
00:44:24.640 --> 00:44:25.990
looked at her and I said, "Do you have a
00:44:26.000 --> 00:44:28.150
second of the day for yourself?" And she
00:44:28.160 --> 00:44:29.829
just was crying. and she said, "No, I
00:44:29.839 --> 00:44:33.510
don't." And I think we overlook the
00:44:33.520 --> 00:44:35.430
inside of households a lot. And that's
00:44:35.440 --> 00:44:36.790
why I write about it a lot and talk
00:44:36.800 --> 00:44:39.109
about it a lot because it's what's
00:44:39.119 --> 00:44:41.349
really happening in the interiors of
00:44:41.359 --> 00:44:42.950
these houses that are going to affect
00:44:42.960 --> 00:44:45.190
who they hire, why they hire, when they
00:44:45.200 --> 00:44:47.910
hire. Right. I've had so many divorce
00:44:47.920 --> 00:44:49.270
professionals will sign up for fresh
00:44:49.280 --> 00:44:50.870
starts and then two months in they'll be
00:44:50.880 --> 00:44:52.470
like, "I didn't get nobody signed up."
00:44:52.480 --> 00:44:54.309
Yeah. Because what? It's been eight
00:44:54.319 --> 00:44:56.390
weeks, right? You think women are like
00:44:56.400 --> 00:44:58.309
jumping to do this? It takes them
00:44:58.319 --> 00:45:00.150
forever to even find a time to book a
00:45:00.160 --> 00:45:01.430
call with you when they have kids,
00:45:01.440 --> 00:45:03.270
right? It's it you got to look at things
00:45:03.280 --> 00:45:04.790
from their perspective. And I think
00:45:04.800 --> 00:45:05.670
that's something that's really
00:45:05.680 --> 00:45:06.790
important. You do that beautifully,
00:45:06.800 --> 00:45:08.309
Leslie, like always. And you set up all
00:45:08.319 --> 00:45:09.910
your systems like that.
00:45:09.920 --> 00:45:12.470
>> For some people, even as a professional,
00:45:12.480 --> 00:45:15.270
it's hard. I created a school community
00:45:15.280 --> 00:45:16.870
and
00:45:16.880 --> 00:45:19.750
I quickly realized it's growing, but
00:45:19.760 --> 00:45:22.069
there's nobody wants to say anything,
00:45:22.079 --> 00:45:23.430
right? Like it's not really a community.
00:45:23.440 --> 00:45:26.630
It's actually a resource bank and I
00:45:26.640 --> 00:45:28.550
share things and I can see people watch
00:45:28.560 --> 00:45:30.150
but they don't want to comment. They
00:45:30.160 --> 00:45:31.829
don't want their name out there. They
00:45:31.839 --> 00:45:33.270
don't want people to know. A lot of
00:45:33.280 --> 00:45:34.230
people
00:45:34.240 --> 00:45:35.670
>> even going through divorce don't want
00:45:35.680 --> 00:45:36.790
people to know they're what they're
00:45:36.800 --> 00:45:39.670
going through. And
00:45:39.680 --> 00:45:44.309
I'll be honest, I was really naive
00:45:44.319 --> 00:45:48.150
how much physical domestic violence
00:45:48.160 --> 00:45:49.910
>> exists in this world and who it's
00:45:49.920 --> 00:45:52.150
happening to. I was so naive, right?
00:45:52.160 --> 00:45:52.710
like
00:45:52.720 --> 00:45:55.030
>> that wasn't my story.
00:45:55.040 --> 00:45:56.550
>> And
00:45:56.560 --> 00:45:58.950
when I started both the therapy practice
00:45:58.960 --> 00:46:01.030
because my therapy practice really is
00:46:01.040 --> 00:46:03.750
very divorce and breakup central. I
00:46:03.760 --> 00:46:06.870
have, it's so funny. Chad GPT is sending
00:46:06.880 --> 00:46:08.870
me all of the
00:46:08.880 --> 00:46:11.030
really young girls going through
00:46:11.040 --> 00:46:14.230
breakup, which is fun and different, and
00:46:14.240 --> 00:46:16.870
I love that I can help them cuz the
00:46:16.880 --> 00:46:19.910
trauma bond situation is is even in a
00:46:19.920 --> 00:46:22.470
situationship. Anyway,
00:46:22.480 --> 00:46:24.069
>> I
00:46:24.079 --> 00:46:25.829
had no idea.
00:46:25.839 --> 00:46:26.390
>> Y
00:46:26.400 --> 00:46:28.710
>> I just lived in my little bubble where
00:46:28.720 --> 00:46:30.150
that wasn't happening to me.
00:46:30.160 --> 00:46:31.589
>> Well, I don't think that it's on you
00:46:31.599 --> 00:46:33.190
though, Leslie. And I talk about this a
00:46:33.200 --> 00:46:33.589
lot.
00:46:33.599 --> 00:46:35.430
>> I think
00:46:35.440 --> 00:46:37.589
>> we don't but that's part of what's
00:46:37.599 --> 00:46:38.790
happening inside the house. That's what
00:46:38.800 --> 00:46:40.150
you're talking about. Like
00:46:40.160 --> 00:46:40.790
>> Yeah.
00:46:40.800 --> 00:46:42.470
>> People have to talk to you in the car
00:46:42.480 --> 00:46:44.790
because they are not safe. They're
00:46:44.800 --> 00:46:46.230
worried they're being monitored. The
00:46:46.240 --> 00:46:49.109
recording the monitoring.
00:46:49.119 --> 00:46:49.510
>> Yep.
00:46:49.520 --> 00:46:52.710
>> It's I had a woman a man come home once
00:46:52.720 --> 00:46:54.309
and we had to switch gears and I
00:46:54.319 --> 00:46:56.470
literally had to pretend I was somebody
00:46:56.480 --> 00:46:57.270
else.
00:46:57.280 --> 00:46:59.589
>> Right. And there's an epidemic of abuse
00:46:59.599 --> 00:47:01.750
in all ways going on. And but they
00:47:01.760 --> 00:47:03.430
they're I would say out of the women I
00:47:03.440 --> 00:47:05.510
talk to every week 90% of them are in
00:47:05.520 --> 00:47:07.670
some sort of abusive relationship.
00:47:07.680 --> 00:47:09.589
>> And we have overlooked this. We've
00:47:09.599 --> 00:47:11.109
called it marriage. We've called it
00:47:11.119 --> 00:47:12.710
grumpiness. We've called it all these
00:47:12.720 --> 00:47:14.950
things, right? But there's also a lot of
00:47:14.960 --> 00:47:16.630
physical abuse towards the children,
00:47:16.640 --> 00:47:18.550
towards the animals, towards them.
00:47:18.560 --> 00:47:21.430
>> Um and it is so prevalent that I think
00:47:21.440 --> 00:47:24.470
if we ever really realized it, it would
00:47:24.480 --> 00:47:25.670
blow people's minds.
00:47:25.680 --> 00:47:29.030
>> It's a whole another episode. And
00:47:29.040 --> 00:47:33.670
it's m it's mindblowing.
00:47:33.680 --> 00:47:36.309
And so I know you and I both you
00:47:36.319 --> 00:47:37.990
probably experience a lot of the push
00:47:38.000 --> 00:47:40.870
back when you make a post about a woman.
00:47:40.880 --> 00:47:42.870
Immediately your comments fill up with
00:47:42.880 --> 00:47:45.910
men. It goes both ways. D.
00:47:45.920 --> 00:47:46.470
>> Yeah.
00:47:46.480 --> 00:47:48.870
>> Okay. Well, I serve women primarily. I
00:47:48.880 --> 00:47:50.950
will I do have a few male clients, but
00:47:50.960 --> 00:47:53.990
primarily I serve women. And so my
00:47:54.000 --> 00:47:56.390
social media's job is to make them feel
00:47:56.400 --> 00:47:57.670
seen, right?
00:47:57.680 --> 00:47:58.150
>> Yep.
00:47:58.160 --> 00:48:00.950
>> To help them and give them resources if
00:48:00.960 --> 00:48:04.069
they're ready for that. So, but the push
00:48:04.079 --> 00:48:07.349
back and I'm like, you have no idea what
00:48:07.359 --> 00:48:09.190
it's like to be a woman. You have no
00:48:09.200 --> 00:48:14.309
idea. Like, none. And you have no idea
00:48:14.319 --> 00:48:15.589
what's happening inside these
00:48:15.599 --> 00:48:18.470
households. It goes beyond anything
00:48:18.480 --> 00:48:20.390
anyone can imagine. And so,
00:48:20.400 --> 00:48:20.870
>> yeah,
00:48:20.880 --> 00:48:23.030
>> as a divorce professional, back to us,
00:48:23.040 --> 00:48:25.190
like
00:48:25.200 --> 00:48:27.990
>> we have a responsibility to protect the
00:48:28.000 --> 00:48:31.670
people that we're serving. And it's
00:48:31.680 --> 00:48:33.109
hard.
00:48:33.119 --> 00:48:36.710
>> It's hard to navigate this. I You
00:48:36.720 --> 00:48:39.030
mentioned earlier all of these business
00:48:39.040 --> 00:48:42.390
coaches are teaching people something. I
00:48:42.400 --> 00:48:46.710
spent an insane amount of money on a
00:48:46.720 --> 00:48:48.950
coaching program that was for therapists
00:48:48.960 --> 00:48:51.510
going into coaching.
00:48:51.520 --> 00:48:55.430
It is sickening how much I spent on it
00:48:55.440 --> 00:48:58.309
and almost none of it applied to me.
00:48:58.319 --> 00:48:58.870
>> Right.
00:48:58.880 --> 00:48:59.430
>> None.
00:48:59.440 --> 00:49:01.829
>> Right. And when I did a one-on-one call
00:49:01.839 --> 00:49:03.829
with the person who runs that program
00:49:03.839 --> 00:49:05.829
and she was so excited because I'm a JD,
00:49:05.839 --> 00:49:07.670
you know, I have a law degree and a
00:49:07.680 --> 00:49:09.910
>> a clinical social work degree and I'm
00:49:09.920 --> 00:49:12.069
going to do and she was like, "You could
00:49:12.079 --> 00:49:13.829
charge
00:49:13.839 --> 00:49:16.069
exactly the Facebook group and make sure
00:49:16.079 --> 00:49:17.990
you put divorce in the name of the
00:49:18.000 --> 00:49:19.109
Facebook group."
00:49:19.119 --> 00:49:22.950
>> And I promptly learned
00:49:22.960 --> 00:49:24.630
>> none of that was true. Like,
00:49:24.640 --> 00:49:25.349
>> nope.
00:49:25.359 --> 00:49:27.910
>> None. And I'm a single mom trying to
00:49:27.920 --> 00:49:29.829
figure out on the other side of this.
00:49:29.839 --> 00:49:32.390
Like I am a single mother trying to
00:49:32.400 --> 00:49:34.870
figure out how to support myself and my
00:49:34.880 --> 00:49:36.950
children
00:49:36.960 --> 00:49:39.670
>> when my support goes away, which it's
00:49:39.680 --> 00:49:42.870
going away. Like, so I just spent all
00:49:42.880 --> 00:49:45.670
this money on a coach who
00:49:45.680 --> 00:49:47.750
>> has no idea what the hell she's talking
00:49:47.760 --> 00:49:48.870
about.
00:49:48.880 --> 00:49:50.790
The divorce industry is very predatory
00:49:50.800 --> 00:49:52.710
and it's still a big industry and
00:49:52.720 --> 00:49:55.109
they're praying on the professionals are
00:49:55.119 --> 00:49:56.470
praying on the people going through it.
00:49:56.480 --> 00:49:58.950
And that's why we are just super
00:49:58.960 --> 00:50:00.549
transparent about everything we do,
00:50:00.559 --> 00:50:02.390
where our money goes, who we work with,
00:50:02.400 --> 00:50:04.230
all of that because we just truly want
00:50:04.240 --> 00:50:05.910
people to feel safe when they come to
00:50:05.920 --> 00:50:08.390
us. And we've definitely let
00:50:08.400 --> 00:50:09.750
professionals go from the platform
00:50:09.760 --> 00:50:10.950
because of things that they've said on
00:50:10.960 --> 00:50:13.589
social media or ways or meth business
00:50:13.599 --> 00:50:15.750
methods that we didn't agree with. And
00:50:15.760 --> 00:50:17.670
so I know when I meet with somebody that
00:50:17.680 --> 00:50:18.950
I'm sending them to the best of the
00:50:18.960 --> 00:50:21.109
best. And that nothing makes me happier.
00:50:21.119 --> 00:50:23.750
And our experts are amazing. And I have
00:50:23.760 --> 00:50:25.270
so many women that will come and say,
00:50:25.280 --> 00:50:26.390
"I've been trying to reach out to
00:50:26.400 --> 00:50:27.750
lawyers for weeks and nobody is
00:50:27.760 --> 00:50:29.030
responding." And I'll say, "Just give me
00:50:29.040 --> 00:50:30.309
a minute." And I'll reach out to one of
00:50:30.319 --> 00:50:32.069
our lawyers and within an hour they'll
00:50:32.079 --> 00:50:34.390
respond. And so we love our
00:50:34.400 --> 00:50:36.230
professionals and that's why it's a joy
00:50:36.240 --> 00:50:38.069
for us to get them their name into the
00:50:38.079 --> 00:50:39.829
world because we're so proud of them.
00:50:39.839 --> 00:50:43.109
Can you list all of the different
00:50:43.119 --> 00:50:46.549
professionals that you have in the
00:50:46.559 --> 00:50:48.870
registry because I think it would be
00:50:48.880 --> 00:50:50.549
helpful for both sides, people going
00:50:50.559 --> 00:50:52.230
through it and professionals who maybe
00:50:52.240 --> 00:50:54.069
don't have when I first started before I
00:50:54.079 --> 00:50:55.990
met you, I didn't feel like I had any
00:50:56.000 --> 00:50:57.349
support.
00:50:57.359 --> 00:50:58.870
>> Yeah, I'm literally having to go to the
00:50:58.880 --> 00:51:00.790
website because I can't even name all of
00:51:00.800 --> 00:51:02.710
them. I feel like you're this is a test.
00:51:02.720 --> 00:51:04.790
Did my sister send you? No, I'm like
00:51:04.800 --> 00:51:06.870
Jenny runs all this stuff and so I she
00:51:06.880 --> 00:51:09.030
sets everything up. Did she send you?
00:51:09.040 --> 00:51:10.470
So, if you go to the website, you
00:51:10.480 --> 00:51:11.990
literally, you can click find a divorce
00:51:12.000 --> 00:51:14.470
professional. It's set up. Again, we
00:51:14.480 --> 00:51:16.150
really strive, and this is something my
00:51:16.160 --> 00:51:17.990
sister spends all day doing, is to make
00:51:18.000 --> 00:51:20.230
the website as easy and effortless as
00:51:20.240 --> 00:51:22.710
possible. We even have a hole she built
00:51:22.720 --> 00:51:24.069
that says, "Not sure where to start."
00:51:24.079 --> 00:51:25.430
And there's all these choose your own
00:51:25.440 --> 00:51:27.430
adventure there. So, you can go through
00:51:27.440 --> 00:51:30.870
and figure that out. So,
00:51:30.880 --> 00:51:33.510
we have a little bit of everything. Just
00:51:33.520 --> 00:51:35.510
to give you an idea, we have obviously
00:51:35.520 --> 00:51:37.589
lawyers, divorce lawyers, mediators,
00:51:37.599 --> 00:51:39.990
accountants, a lot of co-parenting
00:51:40.000 --> 00:51:41.750
specialists and coaches. We have
00:51:41.760 --> 00:51:44.150
decision and discernment coaches,
00:51:44.160 --> 00:51:46.150
obviously divorce coaches, children's
00:51:46.160 --> 00:51:48.069
therapists, regular therapists,
00:51:48.079 --> 00:51:50.630
hypnotherapists, psychologists,
00:51:50.640 --> 00:51:52.630
all types of coaches, burnout coaches,
00:51:52.640 --> 00:51:54.630
career coaches, life transition coaches,
00:51:54.640 --> 00:51:57.109
neurode divergent coaches. Um, and then
00:51:57.119 --> 00:51:58.549
we kind of get into the wellness and
00:51:58.559 --> 00:52:00.870
spiritual side with astrologers, faith
00:52:00.880 --> 00:52:02.470
co coaches. We get a lot of women who
00:52:02.480 --> 00:52:04.069
are deconstructing and leaving different
00:52:04.079 --> 00:52:06.630
faiths and we have people for them uh
00:52:06.640 --> 00:52:09.190
health and wellness healing, parenting
00:52:09.200 --> 00:52:11.990
coaches, professional organizers and
00:52:12.000 --> 00:52:13.829
then we just have people really who are
00:52:13.839 --> 00:52:17.109
there to help whether it's even your own
00:52:17.119 --> 00:52:18.309
story. How are you going to write your
00:52:18.319 --> 00:52:20.549
own story? How are you going to we have
00:52:20.559 --> 00:52:22.150
a travel experts, right? How are you
00:52:22.160 --> 00:52:23.430
going to learn to travel by yourself
00:52:23.440 --> 00:52:25.270
again and travel with your kids, right?
00:52:25.280 --> 00:52:27.270
All of these things. So, we really
00:52:27.280 --> 00:52:28.630
wanted it to be obviously we have
00:52:28.640 --> 00:52:31.109
mortgage professionals. I would say when
00:52:31.119 --> 00:52:33.510
you come to me, the the hype team that
00:52:33.520 --> 00:52:35.589
we like to call that we build for you is
00:52:35.599 --> 00:52:38.950
divorce coach, financial adviser, CDFA.
00:52:38.960 --> 00:52:40.870
If you own a house, I always have you
00:52:40.880 --> 00:52:42.549
talk to one of our real estate adviserss
00:52:42.559 --> 00:52:44.950
and a mortgage specialist. Again, all
00:52:44.960 --> 00:52:46.870
free calls and your spouse does not need
00:52:46.880 --> 00:52:48.230
to know that you're going through these.
00:52:48.240 --> 00:52:50.150
You're just educating yourself.
00:52:50.160 --> 00:52:51.829
>> And then obviously things I always check
00:52:51.839 --> 00:52:53.270
to make sure you have a therapist. Do
00:52:53.280 --> 00:52:54.710
you have a healer? We have sematic
00:52:54.720 --> 00:52:56.630
healers. We have all sorts of things
00:52:56.640 --> 00:52:58.630
like that. Parenting coaches are
00:52:58.640 --> 00:53:00.309
amazing. Right? a little bit of
00:53:00.319 --> 00:53:02.069
everything for every part of the process
00:53:02.079 --> 00:53:03.510
that you need. So you truly don't have
00:53:03.520 --> 00:53:05.270
to go through it alone.
00:53:05.280 --> 00:53:07.589
>> So good. It's so good. And people need
00:53:07.599 --> 00:53:09.430
all of it. All of it. All of it.
00:53:09.440 --> 00:53:11.910
>> Yeah. And at different times. So
00:53:11.920 --> 00:53:13.670
>> Yes. Exactly. Yeah. Thanks.
00:53:13.680 --> 00:53:15.030
>> Thank you for coming on and thank you
00:53:15.040 --> 00:53:16.710
for sharing all of this. I know we could
00:53:16.720 --> 00:53:18.630
probably talk all day, but either of us
00:53:18.640 --> 00:53:20.390
>> I'll come back. I'll come back. Yeah.
00:53:20.400 --> 00:53:22.069
No, I appreciate you so much and you
00:53:22.079 --> 00:53:24.630
inspire me and I love everything that
00:53:24.640 --> 00:53:26.630
you're doing and we're so glad that
00:53:26.640 --> 00:53:27.750
you're part of our community.
00:53:27.760 --> 00:53:29.510
>> Thank you. Thank you so much. I'm going
00:53:29.520 --> 00:53:32.470
to link all of your information, the
00:53:32.480 --> 00:53:34.470
website, everything in the show notes.
00:53:34.480 --> 00:53:37.030
If anyone can't find something and they
00:53:37.040 --> 00:53:39.430
want, they can DM me, ask me, I can send
00:53:39.440 --> 00:53:42.470
you Olivia's way. I send lots and lots
00:53:42.480 --> 00:53:45.270
of the people, my people to other people
00:53:45.280 --> 00:53:47.109
within your network, which is really
00:53:47.119 --> 00:53:48.150
helpful.
00:53:48.160 --> 00:53:50.069
>> So, I have access to some of those
00:53:50.079 --> 00:53:52.390
people as well. And yeah,
00:53:52.400 --> 00:53:54.950
>> and I will say too, my my DM my DMs are
00:53:54.960 --> 00:53:56.230
always open. So, my name is Olivia
00:53:56.240 --> 00:53:58.150
Howell everywhere and I am the only
00:53:58.160 --> 00:53:59.829
person that checks. I don't have a VA. I
00:53:59.839 --> 00:54:01.910
don't have anybody. So, you can send me
00:54:01.920 --> 00:54:04.150
a DM or an email. Nobody else will see
00:54:04.160 --> 00:54:06.150
that and I just always want your content
00:54:06.160 --> 00:54:08.230
is really, really good. I love I even
00:54:08.240 --> 00:54:11.430
love your threads. So, thank you. That
00:54:11.440 --> 00:54:12.950
will all be in the show notes as well.
00:54:12.960 --> 00:54:15.349
Thank you, Olivia. Appreciate it.
00:54:15.359 --> 00:54:18.069
>> Anybody has any questions, we're here.
00:54:18.079 --> 00:54:23.960
Message us and thanks for listening in.