WEBVTT
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Hello, dear soul.
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If this journal entry finds you feeling stuck in a life that you know you can't continue living, but you don't know yet which way to go and how you want to live life moving forward, then this one is for you.
00:00:18.079 --> 00:00:29.760
So perhaps you find yourself having built a life that is perfectly functional, one that's not horrible, but hasn't been deeply fulfilling.
00:00:30.079 --> 00:00:38.320
And if you're here on this video, it's likely that meaning and alignment is important to you.
00:00:38.960 --> 00:00:49.200
But a lifetime of making small choices that, you know, go along to get along, or that perhaps a part of us knows isn't right.
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Our intuition says, that's not the right path for me.
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You know, but we make them anyway because we do it in the name of peacekeeping or approval or survival.
00:01:02.640 --> 00:01:05.519
And that can lead us to waking up one day.
00:01:06.319 --> 00:01:18.400
I've heard it said in the comments that in a dark wood, or I think that's a reference to a poem, but or drifting in a fog is what we've been talking about here on the channel.
00:01:18.799 --> 00:01:25.920
And Sean put it, he said, it's a result of a series of small betrayals to myself over many years.
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And so sitting in that fog can be really uncomfortable.
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You know, sitting in the boat without a compass, without, you know, without a direction, and just in the silence of that fog.
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But I think recognizing that we're in a fog is a huge is a huge step in the right direction in finding ourselves, in finding the direction that we do want to go, and acknowledging the reality of where we're at in life, where we what we have built.
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And I feel like there are many of you who have you've recognized that.
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I think it's it's I think everyone of us who's who's here, in some way, shape, or form, we've gotten to this place where it's it's slightly confusing.
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And maybe you're past that already.
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And um, but maybe it happens multiple times in life.
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I don't know.
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But I know this is a place that my husband has found himself of late.
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And so you know, I think that we start reflecting on the question of how did I get here?
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How did I like what are the circumstances and the people and the choices that led my life to here, to this moment, to this point?
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And I think honoring the emotions that arise is important, you know, just just being with them and being present with the anger that can come up, the anger at others, perhaps the anger at ourselves for having made decisions that we look back on with regret.
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Maybe there's feelings of regret.
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It's like I shouldn't have made that decision, that decision led here.
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And you know, we can't always know where things are gonna lead.
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And just be gentle on yourself.
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I know that's something that my husband feels like he has a lot of regrets and feels like he's made wrong choices.
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And I keep trying to remind him that he didn't know that where those choices were gonna lead.
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So, and we always make the best decision we can at the moment with the resources that we have and our current emotional state.
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And so, yeah.
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Perhaps it's like, yeah, the wishing that things had gone differently, that we'd made different choices, sadness at how things have turned out, and maybe even like hopelessness at thinking that the future could be any different, you know.
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It's it's it's a hopeless future.
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And this this feeling of stuckness starts to come about in in the in that fog.
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And uh my husband described it as a loss of trust and a loss of confidence in himself.
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You know, he he said he, you know, I got myself into this mess, and how like how am I supposed to get myself out of it?
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You know, like it's so this this loss of confidence and and realizing that, you know, as with all things, there's there's the bitterness and the sweetness of life.
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I know we've talked about this in a live uh recently, but you know, that that while while there's this place of feeling stuck and maybe lots of bitter things that have happened, there may have also been good things that have happened along the way.
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And so there's time to hold space for those things as well, and the paradox of holding, holding the light and the dark at the same time.
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And lastly, just acknowledging that some things are beyond our control.
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We, you know, like for us, we didn't have control over AI arising and like gutting our business by 80-90 percent, right?
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It's like we didn't have control over that.
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So now we're having to deal with that, or perhaps it's cultural shifts or job loss or natural disasters, perhaps um things that are beyond our control to change.
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So not beating ourselves up for those either.
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So once the past has been assessed, and perhaps that's an ongoing thing.
00:06:07.920 --> 00:06:26.319
Like for us, that's it's been an ongoing reflection of of how we made decisions and why we made those decisions, and was that decision a um like had we diagnosed the the problem correctly and made made the right decision.
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And in some cases we found that we didn't diagnose that correctly and so made a wrong decision.
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And now looking back, we can kind of see that there's a different diagnosis to be had.
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So but when we've we've assessed the past and we can um we we know we can't continue living life the way that we have been.
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There's no kind of going back or you know, or wanting to make a change because of something in us, inside of us, is perhaps yelling at us, like or or or we can't.
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Out of circumstances, it's like things change, like a divorce or a job loss, and it's kind of like now what?
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The question, now what?
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What do I do?
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Where do I want to go?
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Maybe who am I?
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All these questions start to arise.
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And I think I think we have we can have we have probably have many ideas, you know.
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We we have very creative minds as as intuitives, as and so we we probably have many ideas about what we could do next.
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A different job, a new location, leaving a relationship, all those things.
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And but, you know, because we have the blessing, or perhaps it's a curse, I don't know, of life experience, we can think up and envision all the ways that these changes won't work.
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Um, because that's kind of what we maybe have been focusing on, all the things that we did wrong and have led us here.
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And it feels like a bit of a rock in a hard place, is what my husband talks about.
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And it could be, I don't know if it's particularly harder for if if life hasn't been like a success, quote unquote, in your own eyes, if your life hasn't been like thus far, if there's maybe thoughts of failing at whatever you do in the future.
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And you know, if we're down in the depths of despair, it can and and grief could be that we feel we don't have the emotional capacity to to fail.
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Um to the yeah, to to face failure.
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Or perhaps if you've you're older, maybe it it feels like there's not time to to fail at something.
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So all of those, all of those things are are thoughts that that arise in this moment and this this that then start to make it feel go from drifting to now feeling stuck, stuck in this place, and not knowing what the future will be, and not knowing where to go, and not knowing what what it is that yeah, where to go next.
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And that can be a really hard place to be in, because that's where my husband is now, is just feeling this stuckness of not knowing where to go.
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So um, if the Light Bears Library has become a meaningful place to you, whether you're drifting or whether you're stuck, or maybe you're through that, and you'd like to help me keep creating these journal entries, then please consider donating.
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Any amount, no matter how small, would be so meaningful to my husband and I.
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So thank you.
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So when we can't see the grand vision, I know perhaps if you're an INFJ, like my husband, he's always had these grand visions of with with meaning and and where he was going and what he was gonna do and what he was accomplishing.
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And um, you know, and for me, I've had uh as an INFP like many, many, many, many, many visions about what I could do with my life.
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But um it's it's hard to kind of um yeah, see like what it is to do next.
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So I think I think it's like shrinking that that that that yeah, at least my for my husband, uh, you know, I've been trying to say that it's maybe just smaller, smaller to get out of the stuckness is yeah, a bit smaller than that.
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So I was thinking that maybe to start start noticing the things that you hate doing.
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And if hate is too strong a word, then it's like where is their emotional resistance to things that happen in your life, in your in your daily life.
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So this is about bringing more and more awareness to our each day and each moment, and starting to just notice uh even in our body, what like when our body starts tensing up and tightening, you know, and you might not notice it before something happens, but afterwards you might realize like that was really uncomfortable in my body, or I I felt felt bad afterwards.
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And start start writing those down or or just making making notes of those, of where do you maybe need to start saying no to things that you hate doing, you know, and start with small things, um, things that are within your current available availability to to say no to.
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Like, you know, we might want to say no to a job.
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Um, and but that might take that might be a bigger, a bigger shift.
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And I think sometimes we can think that big changes will will shift us out of this place of stuckness, but sometimes that can cause more problems than then it it can't.
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I think I think that's been maybe our experience.
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You know, we moved provinces and I think that it caused a lot more problems than it did.
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But maybe a big shift is what you need.
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So, but we're starting with with just the little things, and you know, maybe it's starting to say no to people who drain you, you know, stop hanging out with people or stop, you know, I feel like that's a big one for us feelers that are just so tuned into our own our own or can be, you know, that we have as highly sensitive people, we're drained easily by by the energy and emotions of others.
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So just starting to to kind of cut cut that off.
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And so that's the one side, the the the the kind of big feelings of no where those things are and no.
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And on the other, other side is to start noticing the maybe the this is the tiniest sparks of vitality in in your daily life.
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Perhaps the music that makes you feel lighter.
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My husband has been listening to Vivaldi's autumn album, right?
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Because 'tis the season here in North America.
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So um, you know, that's that's giving him good good feelings.
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But it maybe it's going for a walk and doing more of those things that that lighten, lighten, lighten your energy or or give you energy that feed you.
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And it could even be that you start thinking about what are the things that used to bring you joy and see if those work.
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Bring them into your life again.
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I know one of the men in the men's groups was talking about um, you know, he loved photography, he used to do photography.
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And so it's it's like maybe bringing that into to life and just seeing where that leads.
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And these things aren't always going to bring us joy in now, but it could be worth seeing if um they lead you more towards your authentic self in in the now, like connecting ourselves to that true true self, authentic self, whatever it is.
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You know what I'm talking about, right?
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That that that our our inner our inner self um and then we just take it one day at a time and that that these things are breadcrumbs towards so we're using them as breadcrumbs.
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And I think that's what can get us out of this this stuckness because making big big decisions it just it feels like we come up against against that failure, that fear, or different fears that we might be facing, fears of what other people will think, or all the things.
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You know, if I quit my job, then I won't have any income.
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If I do this, it's like so it could be that maybe we're not feeling brave enough to do those things, or it's not really, it's not really feasible with your life the way it is.
00:16:01.679 --> 00:16:05.600
And so yeah, we take it one day at a time and know that you're not alone.
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There are, you know, so many men here on this channel that are in a similar kind of kind of space.
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And um yeah, and if you're curious to know what it would be like to sit with um other men and explore this kind of topic, topics to do with the soul, with creativity, with um the bittersweetness of life, and you that yeah, that understand this way of thinking and feeling and living, then you can join the Next Men's Sanctuary that starts in November on November 3rd.
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I would love to have you join us.
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If that's now up on my Ko-Fi.
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So the link will be, or Ko-fi, whatever you say that.
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So my the link will be down below.
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But I just I would love to hear from you.
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Your stories help my husband in helping him to feel not so alone.
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They help him to go, yeah, that I I I feel that, or so you know, and I know that the stories help one another to, yeah, mostly to just feel not so alone and knowing that, or knowing that others have gone through the same and have gotten to the other side, have gotten unstuck.
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So sharing those stories as well.
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So wherever you are in this moment, I would love to hear your experience of what it feels like to be stuck to to, you know, what emotions are you currently facing in terms of looking back at your life?
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Maybe you're in that in that phase of of how you got to where you where you're at, or just like are you are you able to to see a vision or how how is that?
00:17:53.680 --> 00:17:58.880
So any any thoughts you've had during this journal entry, I would love to hear.
00:17:59.200 --> 00:18:07.839
And um, yeah, and please join us tonight, tonight on Friday night for the Light Bears Library Live.
00:18:08.160 --> 00:18:20.160
And we go live and have a have a lovely time just discussing these kinds of topics and whatever else you might want to bring to to the conversation.
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And sometimes it's we have we have lots of laughs and just are there for one another.
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So I would love to see you there and um say hello.
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Well, I'm wishing you so many blessings.
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Signing off for today, XOXO Kate.
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Hello, dear soul.
00:00:01.840 --> 00:00:17.120
If this journal entry finds you feeling stuck in a life that you know you can't continue living, but you don't know yet which way to go and how you want to live life moving forward, then this one is for you.
00:00:18.079 --> 00:00:29.760
So perhaps you find yourself having built a life that is perfectly functional, one that's not horrible, but hasn't been deeply fulfilling.
00:00:30.079 --> 00:00:38.320
And if you're here on this video, it's likely that meaning and alignment is important to you.
00:00:38.960 --> 00:00:49.200
But a lifetime of making small choices that, you know, go along to get along, or that perhaps a part of us knows isn't right.
00:00:49.359 --> 00:00:53.039
Our intuition says, that's not the right path for me.
00:00:53.600 --> 00:01:02.320
You know, but we make them anyway because we do it in the name of peacekeeping or approval or survival.
00:01:02.640 --> 00:01:05.519
And that can lead us to waking up one day.
00:01:06.319 --> 00:01:18.400
I've heard it said in the comments that in a dark wood, or I think that's a reference to a poem, but or drifting in a fog is what we've been talking about here on the channel.
00:01:18.799 --> 00:01:25.920
And Sean put it, he said, it's a result of a series of small betrayals to myself over many years.
00:01:27.359 --> 00:01:32.560
And so sitting in that fog can be really uncomfortable.
00:01:32.799 --> 00:01:42.079
You know, sitting in the boat without a compass, without, you know, without a direction, and just in the silence of that fog.
00:01:43.920 --> 00:02:02.719
But I think recognizing that we're in a fog is a huge is a huge step in the right direction in finding ourselves, in finding the direction that we do want to go, and acknowledging the reality of where we're at in life, where we what we have built.
00:02:03.040 --> 00:02:09.360
And I feel like there are many of you who have you've recognized that.
00:02:09.520 --> 00:02:20.479
I think it's it's I think everyone of us who's who's here, in some way, shape, or form, we've gotten to this place where it's it's slightly confusing.
00:02:20.639 --> 00:02:22.560
And maybe you're past that already.
00:02:22.719 --> 00:02:26.960
And um, but maybe it happens multiple times in life.
00:02:27.039 --> 00:02:27.680
I don't know.
00:02:28.400 --> 00:02:32.719
But I know this is a place that my husband has found himself of late.
00:02:33.360 --> 00:02:41.280
And so you know, I think that we start reflecting on the question of how did I get here?
00:02:41.520 --> 00:02:52.400
How did I like what are the circumstances and the people and the choices that led my life to here, to this moment, to this point?
00:02:52.800 --> 00:03:14.639
And I think honoring the emotions that arise is important, you know, just just being with them and being present with the anger that can come up, the anger at others, perhaps the anger at ourselves for having made decisions that we look back on with regret.
00:03:14.800 --> 00:03:16.719
Maybe there's feelings of regret.
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It's like I shouldn't have made that decision, that decision led here.
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And you know, we can't always know where things are gonna lead.
00:03:24.560 --> 00:03:26.560
And just be gentle on yourself.
00:03:26.719 --> 00:03:34.240
I know that's something that my husband feels like he has a lot of regrets and feels like he's made wrong choices.
00:03:34.400 --> 00:03:40.159
And I keep trying to remind him that he didn't know that where those choices were gonna lead.
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So, and we always make the best decision we can at the moment with the resources that we have and our current emotional state.
00:03:48.960 --> 00:03:51.280
And so, yeah.
00:03:52.400 --> 00:04:09.520
Perhaps it's like, yeah, the wishing that things had gone differently, that we'd made different choices, sadness at how things have turned out, and maybe even like hopelessness at thinking that the future could be any different, you know.
00:04:09.680 --> 00:04:12.080
It's it's it's a hopeless future.
00:04:13.680 --> 00:04:22.079
And this this feeling of stuckness starts to come about in in the in that fog.
00:04:23.439 --> 00:04:30.879
And uh my husband described it as a loss of trust and a loss of confidence in himself.
00:04:31.199 --> 00:04:38.800
You know, he he said he, you know, I got myself into this mess, and how like how am I supposed to get myself out of it?
00:04:38.879 --> 00:04:50.480
You know, like it's so this this loss of confidence and and realizing that, you know, as with all things, there's there's the bitterness and the sweetness of life.
00:04:50.639 --> 00:05:07.279
I know we've talked about this in a live uh recently, but you know, that that while while there's this place of feeling stuck and maybe lots of bitter things that have happened, there may have also been good things that have happened along the way.
00:05:07.439 --> 00:05:18.879
And so there's time to hold space for those things as well, and the paradox of holding, holding the light and the dark at the same time.
00:05:20.160 --> 00:05:26.079
And lastly, just acknowledging that some things are beyond our control.
00:05:26.959 --> 00:05:37.360
We, you know, like for us, we didn't have control over AI arising and like gutting our business by 80-90 percent, right?
00:05:37.439 --> 00:05:39.279
It's like we didn't have control over that.
00:05:39.439 --> 00:05:54.079
So now we're having to deal with that, or perhaps it's cultural shifts or job loss or natural disasters, perhaps um things that are beyond our control to change.
00:05:54.319 --> 00:05:58.560
So not beating ourselves up for those either.
00:06:00.240 --> 00:06:07.839
So once the past has been assessed, and perhaps that's an ongoing thing.
00:06:07.920 --> 00:06:26.319
Like for us, that's it's been an ongoing reflection of of how we made decisions and why we made those decisions, and was that decision a um like had we diagnosed the the problem correctly and made made the right decision.
00:06:26.399 --> 00:06:31.680
And in some cases we found that we didn't diagnose that correctly and so made a wrong decision.
00:06:31.920 --> 00:06:37.439
And now looking back, we can kind of see that there's a different diagnosis to be had.
00:06:38.639 --> 00:06:50.399
So but when we've we've assessed the past and we can um we we know we can't continue living life the way that we have been.
00:06:50.639 --> 00:07:03.439
There's no kind of going back or you know, or wanting to make a change because of something in us, inside of us, is perhaps yelling at us, like or or or we can't.
00:07:04.000 --> 00:07:13.519
Out of circumstances, it's like things change, like a divorce or a job loss, and it's kind of like now what?
00:07:14.240 --> 00:07:16.160
The question, now what?
00:07:16.800 --> 00:07:18.000
What do I do?
00:07:18.160 --> 00:07:19.680
Where do I want to go?
00:07:19.920 --> 00:07:21.120
Maybe who am I?
00:07:21.279 --> 00:07:23.680
All these questions start to arise.
00:07:24.639 --> 00:07:30.959
And I think I think we have we can have we have probably have many ideas, you know.
00:07:31.040 --> 00:07:40.399
We we have very creative minds as as intuitives, as and so we we probably have many ideas about what we could do next.
00:07:40.560 --> 00:07:47.519
A different job, a new location, leaving a relationship, all those things.
00:07:47.759 --> 00:08:03.199
And but, you know, because we have the blessing, or perhaps it's a curse, I don't know, of life experience, we can think up and envision all the ways that these changes won't work.
00:08:04.560 --> 00:08:10.560
Um, because that's kind of what we maybe have been focusing on, all the things that we did wrong and have led us here.
00:08:10.639 --> 00:08:16.240
And it feels like a bit of a rock in a hard place, is what my husband talks about.
00:08:18.319 --> 00:08:36.720
And it could be, I don't know if it's particularly harder for if if life hasn't been like a success, quote unquote, in your own eyes, if your life hasn't been like thus far, if there's maybe thoughts of failing at whatever you do in the future.
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And you know, if we're down in the depths of despair, it can and and grief could be that we feel we don't have the emotional capacity to to fail.
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Um to the yeah, to to face failure.
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Or perhaps if you've you're older, maybe it it feels like there's not time to to fail at something.
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So all of those, all of those things are are thoughts that that arise in this moment and this this that then start to make it feel go from drifting to now feeling stuck, stuck in this place, and not knowing what the future will be, and not knowing where to go, and not knowing what what it is that yeah, where to go next.
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And that can be a really hard place to be in, because that's where my husband is now, is just feeling this stuckness of not knowing where to go.
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So um, if the Light Bears Library has become a meaningful place to you, whether you're drifting or whether you're stuck, or maybe you're through that, and you'd like to help me keep creating these journal entries, then please consider donating.
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Any amount, no matter how small, would be so meaningful to my husband and I.
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So thank you.
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So when we can't see the grand vision, I know perhaps if you're an INFJ, like my husband, he's always had these grand visions of with with meaning and and where he was going and what he was gonna do and what he was accomplishing.
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And um, you know, and for me, I've had uh as an INFP like many, many, many, many, many visions about what I could do with my life.
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But um it's it's hard to kind of um yeah, see like what it is to do next.
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So I think I think it's like shrinking that that that that yeah, at least my for my husband, uh, you know, I've been trying to say that it's maybe just smaller, smaller to get out of the stuckness is yeah, a bit smaller than that.
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So I was thinking that maybe to start start noticing the things that you hate doing.
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And if hate is too strong a word, then it's like where is their emotional resistance to things that happen in your life, in your in your daily life.
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So this is about bringing more and more awareness to our each day and each moment, and starting to just notice uh even in our body, what like when our body starts tensing up and tightening, you know, and you might not notice it before something happens, but afterwards you might realize like that was really uncomfortable in my body, or I I felt felt bad afterwards.
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And start start writing those down or or just making making notes of those, of where do you maybe need to start saying no to things that you hate doing, you know, and start with small things, um, things that are within your current available availability to to say no to.
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Like, you know, we might want to say no to a job.
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Um, and but that might take that might be a bigger, a bigger shift.
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And I think sometimes we can think that big changes will will shift us out of this place of stuckness, but sometimes that can cause more problems than then it it can't.
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I think I think that's been maybe our experience.
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You know, we moved provinces and I think that it caused a lot more problems than it did.
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But maybe a big shift is what you need.
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So, but we're starting with with just the little things, and you know, maybe it's starting to say no to people who drain you, you know, stop hanging out with people or stop, you know, I feel like that's a big one for us feelers that are just so tuned into our own our own or can be, you know, that we have as highly sensitive people, we're drained easily by by the energy and emotions of others.
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So just starting to to kind of cut cut that off.
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And so that's the one side, the the the the kind of big feelings of no where those things are and no.
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And on the other, other side is to start noticing the maybe the this is the tiniest sparks of vitality in in your daily life.
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Perhaps the music that makes you feel lighter.
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My husband has been listening to Vivaldi's autumn album, right?
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Because 'tis the season here in North America.
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So um, you know, that's that's giving him good good feelings.
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But it maybe it's going for a walk and doing more of those things that that lighten, lighten, lighten your energy or or give you energy that feed you.
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And it could even be that you start thinking about what are the things that used to bring you joy and see if those work.
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Bring them into your life again.
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I know one of the men in the men's groups was talking about um, you know, he loved photography, he used to do photography.
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And so it's it's like maybe bringing that into to life and just seeing where that leads.
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And these things aren't always going to bring us joy in now, but it could be worth seeing if um they lead you more towards your authentic self in in the now, like connecting ourselves to that true true self, authentic self, whatever it is.
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You know what I'm talking about, right?
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That that that our our inner our inner self um and then we just take it one day at a time and that that these things are breadcrumbs towards so we're using them as breadcrumbs.
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And I think that's what can get us out of this this stuckness because making big big decisions it just it feels like we come up against against that failure, that fear, or different fears that we might be facing, fears of what other people will think, or all the things.
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You know, if I quit my job, then I won't have any income.
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If I do this, it's like so it could be that maybe we're not feeling brave enough to do those things, or it's not really, it's not really feasible with your life the way it is.
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And so yeah, we take it one day at a time and know that you're not alone.
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There are, you know, so many men here on this channel that are in a similar kind of kind of space.
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And um yeah, and if you're curious to know what it would be like to sit with um other men and explore this kind of topic, topics to do with the soul, with creativity, with um the bittersweetness of life, and you that yeah, that understand this way of thinking and feeling and living, then you can join the Next Men's Sanctuary that starts in November on November 3rd.
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I would love to have you join us.
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If that's now up on my Ko-Fi.
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So the link will be, or Ko-fi, whatever you say that.
00:16:50.960 --> 00:16:53.279
So my the link will be down below.
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But I just I would love to hear from you.
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Your stories help my husband in helping him to feel not so alone.
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They help him to go, yeah, that I I I feel that, or so you know, and I know that the stories help one another to, yeah, mostly to just feel not so alone and knowing that, or knowing that others have gone through the same and have gotten to the other side, have gotten unstuck.
00:17:24.799 --> 00:17:27.039
So sharing those stories as well.
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So wherever you are in this moment, I would love to hear your experience of what it feels like to be stuck to to, you know, what emotions are you currently facing in terms of looking back at your life?
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Maybe you're in that in that phase of of how you got to where you where you're at, or just like are you are you able to to see a vision or how how is that?
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So any any thoughts you've had during this journal entry, I would love to hear.
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And um, yeah, and please join us tonight, tonight on Friday night for the Light Bears Library Live.
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And we go live and have a have a lovely time just discussing these kinds of topics and whatever else you might want to bring to to the conversation.
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And sometimes it's we have we have lots of laughs and just are there for one another.
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So I would love to see you there and um say hello.
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Well, I'm wishing you so many blessings.
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Signing off for today, XOXO Kate.
