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The following podcast is part of the Mind, Body, Spirit
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FM podcast network. Good morning listeners, I am sending you
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so much love today. Today is a unique episode in
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that there is not a guest today, but I'm going
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to be sharing some things with you from a recent
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interview where I was interviewed and thought, this is really
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important information. This is really important that I get to
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share this with all of you. And so before we start,
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the thing that I always want to invite us to
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do is to take that moment of pause. So, wherever
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you are in the world, if you can just take
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that deep breath in this moment, imagine that you're breathing
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it down into your heart and even more deeply down belly,
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into the seed of your soul. Just taking that nice,
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deep breath, and as you slowly release, allow yourself to
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release anything that doesn't serve you in this moment. And
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if you are not driving and you can put a
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hand on your heart, take that moment of pause to
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just put your hand right there, breathing into your heart
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center and feeling your connection to your heart, feeling your
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connection to your breath. And as we are there, we
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are absolutely connected with ourselves, with the divine and with
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one another. What if the spark within you is exactly
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what the world needs right now. I'm Stephanie James, international speaker, author, psychotherapist,
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and transformation coach. I believe there is a spark within
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every iconic leader, a deeper knowing, a higher calling, and
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a heartfelt desire to make a difference. Together, we move
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beyond titles to uncover the wisdom, courage, and intention shaping
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our world, sharing insights to support you on your highest path.
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This is igniting the Spark, guiding today's iconic leaders through
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inspired conversations. So today I want to talk with you
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about awakening the potential, purpose and power that's already within you.
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And so, as you all know, igniting the Spark is
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the name of this podcast. And what's so interesting is
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when I get interviewed, I'm oftentimes asked, of course, what
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is the spark? Because my first book was The Spark,
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Igniting Your Best Life, my first film was When Sparks Ignite,
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and of course, as it's continued throughout my career, the
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spark is such an essential piece of everything I do.
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So when I'm asked that question, what is the spark,
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the spark is that part of us, that is never extinguished.
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It's our essence, or some people would say, you know,
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it's our god seed. It is the divine that is
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within us, that is us. And so what can happen
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sometimes is that situations or circumstances feel like they are
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covering that spark. The truth is it's always right there,
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always inside of us. And so the goal becomes, I
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think part of our work becomes then how do we
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continue to excavate that spark, that is the essential work?
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How do we access that divine that's already within us.
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It's not outside of us. There is nothing to earn,
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there is nothing to do, there's nothing we need to
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be to access it. Actually, on the contrary, it's very
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much like how the show started. If we can pause,
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if we can get out of our own way and
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out of distractability, we can return to this place within us,
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this place where we are literally communing with our highest self.
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That's the divine spark within us. And so I became
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very aware, probably about twenty years ago when I started
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my private practice, that my mission was to bring as
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much love and healing to the world as possible through
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all the mediums that I could. And that's ended up
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being my films, my books, the events that I do,
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and also this podcast, which has been such a beautiful
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conduit for that. And so I'm hoping today that that
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you can be reminded of your spark. Now, we know
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what sometimes takes us away from accessing this and acknowledging
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this divine spark within us is distraction. So we're all distracted.
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We've got so many exterior programs for happiness, which say, Okay,
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if I just do this, if I just have the
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right job, if I just look good enough, if I
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take this vacation, if I drive this right car, then
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I'm going to be happy, or then I'm going to
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feel peace. And it really is an inside job. So
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the social media, our phones, TV, whatever it is that
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can pull us outside of ourselves. It's not that that
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stuff is inherently bad in and of itself. In excess, though,
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it distracts us from being just still being just within
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ourselves and accessing that divine within us. And so part
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of the way that we do that is by learning
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how to truly befriend ourselves. And oftentimes I talk about this,
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you know, I say, it's not that easy to just say, oh,
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you know, just love yourself, be your best friend. We
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hear that as this cliche often, and yet it's not
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about a decision to do that, it's about a practice.
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And so when we learn how to start showing up
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for ourselves, this is what starts to make that shift internally.
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And we do that by following through on these commitments
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to ourselves. And it can really look like a commitment
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where you're showing up for yourselves five to ten minutes
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in the morning and maybe five to ten minutes before
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you go to sleep. And we know from neuroscience that
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our brain goes into theta brain wave state first thing
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in the morning, last thing at night. I call those
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our bookends to our day, and so during those bookends,
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that's when our brain is most susceptible to input. So
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if you're focusing on befriending yourself and taking care of
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you and touching in and acts that divine spark, these
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are like the important parts of the day to do that,
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to utilize that time so that you can more easily
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access this, and you can think about the number of
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times we've actually betrayed ourselves, we haven't shown up for ourselves.
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We make ourselves promises like I'm going to wake up
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and exercise, or I'm really going to honor boundaries. Right now,
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I'm going to honor that I give myself the time
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that I need, or maybe I work on saying no
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when someone asked me to do something and I really
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need to have just time for myself. I'm learning how
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to have boundaries. And then if we don't do that
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and we say yes when we really mean no, it's
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like we're dishonoring ourselves, We're betraying ourselves, and so we
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lose that sense of friendship with ourselves and that sense
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of deep care where we're actually making ourselves the priority
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in our lives. And now I often tell people this
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is really important to know and to distinguish. This does
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not mean at the at the neglect of other people
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and other things that our priorities. It's just saying putting
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on your oxygen mask first. As we've heard so often
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that cliche, put on your own oxygen masks first, and
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then you can better take care of others. It is
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absolutely true as we take these pauses and befriend ourselves
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and check in and see what it is that we
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need to be performing and being embodied within ourselves in
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the best way possible. We are resourced to give others more.
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We're resourced to be more in that place where we're
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connected to our divine spark, that joy, that love that
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is us, and better able to share that than with
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the world. And so there's a lot of ways that
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you can do this when you think about making yourself
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a priority. One of the things you can do is
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when you wake up in the morning. I've said this
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on so many interviews. I've shared the three c's, and
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this is a very simplistic journaling exercise you can use
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in the morning. And the first see is care and
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you're journaling to yourself, how do I best take care
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of myself today? Because you're going to show up differently
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each day. Today's needs aren't going to be the same
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as they were yesterday or what they're going to be tomorrow.
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So it's checking yourself in the present moment, checking in
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with yourself and saying, Okay, how do I best take
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care of myself today? Now it might be something like, Wow,
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today I need to wake up and make sure that
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I'm spending a little time in nature, that I've got
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some sky time, or I want to move into gratitude.
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I know, that's something that really serves me. That's a
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way of taking care of myself. Or this could even
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be you know, exercise, it could be kundalini, breath work,
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kundalini yoga, it could be journaling. It could be so
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many different things. I mean and literally, it might be like,
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I want to make sure I eat nutritious food today.
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That's one of the ways I'm going to take care
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of myself because I didn't do that very well yesterday.
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So it's taking that inner inventory. And once you do that,
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the second see is how can I connect today? And
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you can think of this in two different ways. How
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do I connect within? And how do I connect without?
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Which is outside of myself? And how do I connect within?
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It may be, you know, and to those higher parts
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of ourselves. Part of the way we connect to ourselves
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and to our divine spark is by taking five minutes
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to drop in and to meditate. And one of the
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ways you can do that is to just either do
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what we did at the beginning of the show, where
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you're breathing into your heart. You've got your hand on
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your heart, and I love just doing a very simplistic
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drop in where I'm breathing in. I'm doing a specific
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kind of oujie breath work, which we've heard about so
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often in a yoga class, and that's that kind of
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constricted breathing. You can think of it as you're exhaling,
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like you're trying to fog up a mirror, and you're
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doing all this breathing through your nose, so it's this
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constricted breath in and out. And as you do that,
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starting with focusing your energy and attention right there on
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your third eye, and you're imagining that you're sending your
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breath right to that place in between your eyebrows. And
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one of the things I love about this, I'll start
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doing that breath and then I imagine myself connecting up
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up up through the top of my head, connecting to
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divine source which is always around us and always accessible
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to us, and I'm just breathing it into my body.
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It's already there, but it's unaware and intentional time where
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I am absolutely feeling it in a very real and present,
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tense way. So that's one of the ways I would
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invite you to drop into kind of a meditation state
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from there. Again, you could do some of that breath
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work into your heart. You could do that constricted breathing
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where you're breathing into your heart center and just noticing
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what's there. If a thought comes in, you just notice it.
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You might just say, okay, there's a thought, and then
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you're returning your attention back to your breath, back to
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the sensation of the heart. So very simplistic. There's lots
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of ways that we can connect with ourselves. Another way
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that we can connect with ourselves is maybe we need
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to do a little mirror work this morning. Maybe we
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need to look at ourselves in the mirror and give
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ourselves the message is that we most need to hear
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this morning. And oftentimes those are just so simplistic. It's
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looking into our own eyes and saying I love you,
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you're worth it, you matter, and I've got you, and
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just those things can help us really feel seen and
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heard by ourselves. That's us taking care of ourselves and
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connecting with ourselves in a really beautiful way. And now
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on the exterior, the other way is as important to
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think of what is a level of connection I need today.
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We're all somewhere on the spectrum of extrovert or introvert,
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and so it's thinking about how much energy have I
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been outputting and what kind of energy do I want
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to output today? As far as connecting with others, sometimes
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if I've had a really big event and I was
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really busy the night before, I like to be a
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little more quiet, you know. I might really want to
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make sure that the next morning, I'm connecting with myself.
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And maybe the way I connect with others is through text,
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and I don't want to maybe spend a lot of
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time meeting with people and going outside my house and
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having these big meetings because I also want to take
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care of myself. I'm resourcing that energy. And if it's
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important for you to connect with others today, you can
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look at the levels of connection that are needed, so
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that can look like, Okay, it makes me feel good
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if I connect to my friends, I'm sending a text.
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A step up from that might be I'm going to
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email someone. I'm going to email this letter to someone
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I'm thinking about. The next step up is a phone call.
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The next from there would be setting up a time
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that maybe you zoom with somebody so you're looking eye
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to eye. And it's really amazing how much that actually
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it changes things You know we're connecting in when we
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can look into somebody's eyes, even if they're on screen,
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it's a deeper level of connection. And then that final
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level if I need to make time to connect with
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someone where I can see them, where I'm going out
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to lunch or coffee, or just reaching out to a
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friend because I'm needing a little extra connection today, I
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think that's really important. So that's what you're doing with
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this see. You're taking that inner inventory and asking yourself,
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what is the most important thing for me today on
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the level of connection? Okay, And the third see is
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creativity creative? How can I be creative today? And this
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is really fun because it can be really playful. I
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often share, like, one of the ways that I love
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to be creative is I love to make song lists
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on Spotify and they are specifically for certain moods. They
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might be for certain people. One of my favorite songs
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lists is Songs to Sing out Loud, which I love
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to make a song list of songs I love to
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sing when I'm driving in my car or I'm cooking dinner.
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You know, it's songs that really lift my spirit. And
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there might also be songs that I want to you know,
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this is for when I'm feeling maybe more romantic, or
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maybe I'm feeling a little bit more mellow. So there's
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lots of ways to be creative. It doesn't mean that
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you have to go create a painting or that you
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have to write music or do some great work of art. Literally,
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some of the ways that we can be creative it
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can be as simplistic as Okay, I'm going to be
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intentional and brush my teeth with my opposite hand, I'm
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going to take a different way to work. I'm going
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to do something that I don't usually do. Because when
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we do that, it creates new neural circuitry in our minds,
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and our minds while they do crave predictability, they also
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crave novelty. And so this is a great way to
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tap in for ourselves where we're creating something that's a
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little bit out of the ordinary. There's a little sense
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of novelty to us. And the thing about the brain
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when we're doing things differently and we're doing things creatively,
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we're releasing endorphins and we're releasing these connecting hormones. And
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how lovely that what you're doing is you're actually connecting
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to yourself in this way, when we have novel experiences
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with others, our brain actually connects that heightened sense of
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pleasure and adventure with the person that we're with. So
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you can think of that you're doing that for yourself.
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So that's a great way to come into your morning.
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So justin idea of one of the ways that you
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can move beyond distraction, you can befriend yourself and really
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show up for you. Now, at the end of the day,
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a great thing I love to do is write down
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in journal what is the best thing that happened today?
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And so two things our minds, which really think about
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positive things in the brain being you know, positive things
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in the brain are like two fried eggs in a
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teflon pan. They slide right off. There's no reason for
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our brain to store these things. Our brain is hardwired
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to scan the environment, and we talk about this natural
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negativity bias. It's always scanning the environment for a threat
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and something that can file away is like okay, I
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know that's dangerous. I know I need to watch out
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for this. So it's wonderful when we're recollecting, when we're
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recalling what was the best thing that happened today? And
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we write that down. What we're doing is we're telling
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our brain this matters, pay attention. And so what's cool
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about this is we continue this process and you continue
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writing to this night after night, what's the best thing
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that happened today? Our brains are much more likely to
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look for those positive things than day. It's that whole
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principle in physics that what we focus on expand. So
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that's really one way to think about this, I think
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such an essential piece for us is also what was
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I grateful for today? And what was I grateful for? Exteriorly?
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So what was I grateful for the people, places, things
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that showed up in my life? And then what was
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I grateful for about myself today? How did I show
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up today in a way that really felt good to me?
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So it's having that same sense of gratitude for yourself.
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And the last question I like to ask myself to
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end of the day is if there's one thing I
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could have done differently, what would that have been? And
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now this is not permission to be critical of yourself
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and beat up yourself, it's really what is one thing
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that maybe one of the things I could have done
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for myself today? Those of you that know me know
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that I am an habitual napper and a nap advocate
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for people, and that we need twenty to twenty five
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minutes a day to perform at our highest level. And
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so maybe you know what I would have done differently
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today is today I only gave myself, you know, ten minutes.
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I was really in a rush, and I want to
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make sure that I'm taking care of myself and befriending
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myself in that way tomorrow. So okay, so these are
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great little check ins for just these beautiful bookends to
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our day. And now I think one of the important
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things we can talk about too, And this is going
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to be a short episode, and so we can talk
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about doing maybe a part two at some time at
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some point. But I think one of the important things is,
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you know, we all have habitual brains, and so we
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all get into these patterns of thinking, habitual ways of behaving,
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and so what can be really helpful is pattern interrupts
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when we're just on that hamster wheel, or we notice
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that we're really ratcheted up or anxious or worrying about
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the future, sure or ruminating about the past. It's like,
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how do I bring myself back into the present moment.
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How can I continue to bring myself back into my
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body so I can be embodied once more. And I
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really love the term like breathing ourselves back into our
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bodies and then taking up residence behind our own eyes.
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And so we can do these pattern interrupts to come
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back into alignment with our spark, with our essential self.
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It can be as simplistic as breathwork, and you can
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also bring yourself back into your body. Yes, I think
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breathing using physical sensations though as that portal. So as
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you breathe in, it's not just the breath in, it's
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actually that you are sensing your breath on the tips
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of your nostrils. As you breathe in, you're noticing your
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breath as it comes in through your nasal passages and
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it touches the back of your mouth or throat. And
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then you're noticing your breath as it moves into your lungs,
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and how your chest rises and falls with your breath,
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as your lungs expand and contract, and then maybe even
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a lower experience of your breath, just noticing how your
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diaphragm moves, how your abdomen expands and contracts with your breath.
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So those can be very simplistic ways that we can
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breathe ourselves and become present into this moment, become more
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embodied in this moment. And also if let's say that
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you're driving and you feel like, okay, I can't close
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my eyes, I can't drop in in this moment in
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that way, a great pattern in a rep. First of all,
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we just need to notice that we're in the loop, right.
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It's like it feels like it's a trance. Oftentimes I'm like,
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oh my god, I'm in the trance of my day.
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And so when we catch that, bringing yourself back sometimes
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to something as simplistic as you can feel into your hands,
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if even if you're driving, feel them on the steering wheel,
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Feel into the palms of your hands, through each finger
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to every fingertip, Feel into the soles of your feet,
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and feel into your feet from the inside. Notice the tingling,
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the aliveness. That's a great way to just do a pattern,
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interrupt you become very present in this moment. And of course,
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one of the things you can do, if you're able to,
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is get up from what you're doing. If you're at
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your desk, if you have the ability get up movement
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is such a great pattern. Interrupt go outside nature just
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feeds our soul. And even if you just have two
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to three minutes of sky time, just looking up, breathing,
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seeing what's going on, there's always something new and novel
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going on with the sky. So that's one of the
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things I would invite you to do. And so I
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guess that you know as I'm wrapping this up, but
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as I'm thinking about this, just giving you hopefully a
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few of these little golden nuggets. When we think about
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our potential, when we think about our success, it's not
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just about this ikta external success. This is really about
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internal alignment. And to me, that's like the greatest success
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we can have in our day, in the present moment,
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that we just keep coming back to ourselves and to
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know that nobody does this perfectly. Oftentimes I'm saying to
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my clients, this is a practice, not perfection. And so
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you can practice these things too. You can practice bringing
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yourself back into alignment, back into that inner awareness and
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connection with that divine spark that is alive and well
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within you, and then breathing in that divine energy. I
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love the expression of breathing that light into you and
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through you, and as you do that, you become more resourced,
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you become more productive, and you have a greater sense
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of peace. And that is my greatest desire for you listener,
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that you experience more love, more joy, more peace in
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your life. And then when the other experiences that inevitably happen,
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where we have sorrow or loss, or anger or pain,
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we're able to navigate through those rough waters so much
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more easily because we really do have that north star
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that's always guiding us, and it's as close as your breath,
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because it's actually right there inside of you. You are it.
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And so with much love, I say just farewell for now.
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I look forward to you joining me on the next
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episode when I bring you just really the most incredible
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I always say it's the most brilliant minds and serving
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hearts on the planet to help you truly live your
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best life. So subscribe make sure you don't miss an
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inspiring episode. So much love, take care and talk soon.
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You have been listening to Igniting the Spark with Stephanie James.
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Thank you so much for listening, and especial thanks to
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my amazing and magical producer Tony Faccini. You can find
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Igniting the Spark on all podcast platforms, so make sure
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you subscribe so you get every inspirational episode. For more
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information about this show, my books, my films, and my
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upcoming events, go to Stephanie James dot world and ignite
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your best life
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The following podcast is part of the Mind, Body, Spirit
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FM podcast network. Good morning listeners, I am sending you
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so much love today. Today is a unique episode in
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that there is not a guest today, but I'm going
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to be sharing some things with you from a recent
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interview where I was interviewed and thought, this is really
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important information. This is really important that I get to
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share this with all of you. And so before we start,
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the thing that I always want to invite us to
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do is to take that moment of pause. So, wherever
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you are in the world, if you can just take
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that deep breath in this moment, imagine that you're breathing
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it down into your heart and even more deeply down belly,
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into the seed of your soul. Just taking that nice,
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deep breath, and as you slowly release, allow yourself to
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release anything that doesn't serve you in this moment. And
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if you are not driving and you can put a
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hand on your heart, take that moment of pause to
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just put your hand right there, breathing into your heart
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center and feeling your connection to your heart, feeling your
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connection to your breath. And as we are there, we
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are absolutely connected with ourselves, with the divine and with
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one another. What if the spark within you is exactly
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what the world needs right now. I'm Stephanie James, international speaker, author, psychotherapist,
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and transformation coach. I believe there is a spark within
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every iconic leader, a deeper knowing, a higher calling, and
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a heartfelt desire to make a difference. Together, we move
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beyond titles to uncover the wisdom, courage, and intention shaping
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our world, sharing insights to support you on your highest path.
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This is igniting the Spark, guiding today's iconic leaders through
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inspired conversations. So today I want to talk with you
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about awakening the potential, purpose and power that's already within you.
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And so, as you all know, igniting the Spark is
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the name of this podcast. And what's so interesting is
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when I get interviewed, I'm oftentimes asked, of course, what
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is the spark? Because my first book was The Spark,
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Igniting Your Best Life, my first film was When Sparks Ignite,
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and of course, as it's continued throughout my career, the
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spark is such an essential piece of everything I do.
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So when I'm asked that question, what is the spark,
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the spark is that part of us, that is never extinguished.
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It's our essence, or some people would say, you know,
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it's our god seed. It is the divine that is
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within us, that is us. And so what can happen
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sometimes is that situations or circumstances feel like they are
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covering that spark. The truth is it's always right there,
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always inside of us. And so the goal becomes, I
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think part of our work becomes then how do we
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continue to excavate that spark, that is the essential work?
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How do we access that divine that's already within us.
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It's not outside of us. There is nothing to earn,
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there is nothing to do, there's nothing we need to
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be to access it. Actually, on the contrary, it's very
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much like how the show started. If we can pause,
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if we can get out of our own way and
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out of distractability, we can return to this place within us,
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this place where we are literally communing with our highest self.
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That's the divine spark within us. And so I became
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very aware, probably about twenty years ago when I started
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my private practice, that my mission was to bring as
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much love and healing to the world as possible through
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all the mediums that I could. And that's ended up
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being my films, my books, the events that I do,
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and also this podcast, which has been such a beautiful
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conduit for that. And so I'm hoping today that that
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you can be reminded of your spark. Now, we know
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what sometimes takes us away from accessing this and acknowledging
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this divine spark within us is distraction. So we're all distracted.
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We've got so many exterior programs for happiness, which say, Okay,
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if I just do this, if I just have the
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right job, if I just look good enough, if I
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take this vacation, if I drive this right car, then
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I'm going to be happy, or then I'm going to
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feel peace. And it really is an inside job. So
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the social media, our phones, TV, whatever it is that
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can pull us outside of ourselves. It's not that that
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stuff is inherently bad in and of itself. In excess, though,
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it distracts us from being just still being just within
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ourselves and accessing that divine within us. And so part
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of the way that we do that is by learning
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how to truly befriend ourselves. And oftentimes I talk about this,
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you know, I say, it's not that easy to just say, oh,
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you know, just love yourself, be your best friend. We
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hear that as this cliche often, and yet it's not
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about a decision to do that, it's about a practice.
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And so when we learn how to start showing up
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for ourselves, this is what starts to make that shift internally.
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And we do that by following through on these commitments
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to ourselves. And it can really look like a commitment
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where you're showing up for yourselves five to ten minutes
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in the morning and maybe five to ten minutes before
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you go to sleep. And we know from neuroscience that
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our brain goes into theta brain wave state first thing
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in the morning, last thing at night. I call those
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our bookends to our day, and so during those bookends,
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that's when our brain is most susceptible to input. So
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if you're focusing on befriending yourself and taking care of
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you and touching in and acts that divine spark, these
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are like the important parts of the day to do that,
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to utilize that time so that you can more easily
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access this, and you can think about the number of
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times we've actually betrayed ourselves, we haven't shown up for ourselves.
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We make ourselves promises like I'm going to wake up
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and exercise, or I'm really going to honor boundaries. Right now,
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I'm going to honor that I give myself the time
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that I need, or maybe I work on saying no
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when someone asked me to do something and I really
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need to have just time for myself. I'm learning how
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to have boundaries. And then if we don't do that
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and we say yes when we really mean no, it's
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like we're dishonoring ourselves, We're betraying ourselves, and so we
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lose that sense of friendship with ourselves and that sense
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of deep care where we're actually making ourselves the priority
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in our lives. And now I often tell people this
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is really important to know and to distinguish. This does
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not mean at the at the neglect of other people
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and other things that our priorities. It's just saying putting
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on your oxygen mask first. As we've heard so often
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that cliche, put on your own oxygen masks first, and
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then you can better take care of others. It is
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absolutely true as we take these pauses and befriend ourselves
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and check in and see what it is that we
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need to be performing and being embodied within ourselves in
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the best way possible. We are resourced to give others more.
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We're resourced to be more in that place where we're
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connected to our divine spark, that joy, that love that
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is us, and better able to share that than with
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the world. And so there's a lot of ways that
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you can do this when you think about making yourself
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a priority. One of the things you can do is
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when you wake up in the morning. I've said this
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on so many interviews. I've shared the three c's, and
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this is a very simplistic journaling exercise you can use
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in the morning. And the first see is care and
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you're journaling to yourself, how do I best take care
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of myself today? Because you're going to show up differently
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each day. Today's needs aren't going to be the same
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as they were yesterday or what they're going to be tomorrow.
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So it's checking yourself in the present moment, checking in
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with yourself and saying, Okay, how do I best take
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care of myself today? Now it might be something like, Wow,
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today I need to wake up and make sure that
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I'm spending a little time in nature, that I've got
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some sky time, or I want to move into gratitude.
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I know, that's something that really serves me. That's a
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way of taking care of myself. Or this could even
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be you know, exercise, it could be kundalini, breath work,
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kundalini yoga, it could be journaling. It could be so
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many different things. I mean and literally, it might be like,
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I want to make sure I eat nutritious food today.
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That's one of the ways I'm going to take care
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of myself because I didn't do that very well yesterday.
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So it's taking that inner inventory. And once you do that,
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the second see is how can I connect today? And
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you can think of this in two different ways. How
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do I connect within? And how do I connect without?
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Which is outside of myself? And how do I connect within?
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It may be, you know, and to those higher parts
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of ourselves. Part of the way we connect to ourselves
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and to our divine spark is by taking five minutes
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to drop in and to meditate. And one of the
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ways you can do that is to just either do
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what we did at the beginning of the show, where
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you're breathing into your heart. You've got your hand on
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your heart, and I love just doing a very simplistic
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drop in where I'm breathing in. I'm doing a specific
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kind of oujie breath work, which we've heard about so
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often in a yoga class, and that's that kind of
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constricted breathing. You can think of it as you're exhaling,
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like you're trying to fog up a mirror, and you're
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doing all this breathing through your nose, so it's this
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constricted breath in and out. And as you do that,
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starting with focusing your energy and attention right there on
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your third eye, and you're imagining that you're sending your
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breath right to that place in between your eyebrows. And
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one of the things I love about this, I'll start
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doing that breath and then I imagine myself connecting up
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up up through the top of my head, connecting to
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divine source which is always around us and always accessible
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to us, and I'm just breathing it into my body.
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It's already there, but it's unaware and intentional time where
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I am absolutely feeling it in a very real and present,
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tense way. So that's one of the ways I would
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invite you to drop into kind of a meditation state
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from there. Again, you could do some of that breath
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work into your heart. You could do that constricted breathing
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where you're breathing into your heart center and just noticing
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what's there. If a thought comes in, you just notice it.
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You might just say, okay, there's a thought, and then
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you're returning your attention back to your breath, back to
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the sensation of the heart. So very simplistic. There's lots
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of ways that we can connect with ourselves. Another way
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that we can connect with ourselves is maybe we need
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to do a little mirror work this morning. Maybe we
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need to look at ourselves in the mirror and give
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ourselves the message is that we most need to hear
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this morning. And oftentimes those are just so simplistic. It's
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looking into our own eyes and saying I love you,
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you're worth it, you matter, and I've got you, and
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just those things can help us really feel seen and
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heard by ourselves. That's us taking care of ourselves and
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connecting with ourselves in a really beautiful way. And now
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on the exterior, the other way is as important to
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think of what is a level of connection I need today.
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We're all somewhere on the spectrum of extrovert or introvert,
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and so it's thinking about how much energy have I
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been outputting and what kind of energy do I want
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to output today? As far as connecting with others, sometimes
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if I've had a really big event and I was
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really busy the night before, I like to be a
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little more quiet, you know. I might really want to
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make sure that the next morning, I'm connecting with myself.
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And maybe the way I connect with others is through text,
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and I don't want to maybe spend a lot of
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time meeting with people and going outside my house and
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having these big meetings because I also want to take
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care of myself. I'm resourcing that energy. And if it's
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important for you to connect with others today, you can
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look at the levels of connection that are needed, so
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that can look like, Okay, it makes me feel good
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if I connect to my friends, I'm sending a text.
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A step up from that might be I'm going to
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email someone. I'm going to email this letter to someone
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I'm thinking about. The next step up is a phone call.
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The next from there would be setting up a time
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that maybe you zoom with somebody so you're looking eye
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to eye. And it's really amazing how much that actually
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it changes things You know we're connecting in when we
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can look into somebody's eyes, even if they're on screen,
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it's a deeper level of connection. And then that final
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level if I need to make time to connect with
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someone where I can see them, where I'm going out
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to lunch or coffee, or just reaching out to a
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friend because I'm needing a little extra connection today, I
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think that's really important. So that's what you're doing with
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this see. You're taking that inner inventory and asking yourself,
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what is the most important thing for me today on
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the level of connection? Okay, And the third see is
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creativity creative? How can I be creative today? And this
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is really fun because it can be really playful. I
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often share, like, one of the ways that I love
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to be creative is I love to make song lists
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on Spotify and they are specifically for certain moods. They
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might be for certain people. One of my favorite songs
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lists is Songs to Sing out Loud, which I love
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to make a song list of songs I love to
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sing when I'm driving in my car or I'm cooking dinner.
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You know, it's songs that really lift my spirit. And
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there might also be songs that I want to you know,
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this is for when I'm feeling maybe more romantic, or
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maybe I'm feeling a little bit more mellow. So there's
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lots of ways to be creative. It doesn't mean that
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you have to go create a painting or that you
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have to write music or do some great work of art. Literally,
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some of the ways that we can be creative it
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can be as simplistic as Okay, I'm going to be
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intentional and brush my teeth with my opposite hand, I'm
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going to take a different way to work. I'm going
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to do something that I don't usually do. Because when
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we do that, it creates new neural circuitry in our minds,
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and our minds while they do crave predictability, they also
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crave novelty. And so this is a great way to
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tap in for ourselves where we're creating something that's a
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little bit out of the ordinary. There's a little sense
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of novelty to us. And the thing about the brain
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when we're doing things differently and we're doing things creatively,
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we're releasing endorphins and we're releasing these connecting hormones. And
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how lovely that what you're doing is you're actually connecting
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to yourself in this way, when we have novel experiences
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with others, our brain actually connects that heightened sense of
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pleasure and adventure with the person that we're with. So
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you can think of that you're doing that for yourself.
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So that's a great way to come into your morning.
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So justin idea of one of the ways that you
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can move beyond distraction, you can befriend yourself and really
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show up for you. Now, at the end of the day,
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a great thing I love to do is write down
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in journal what is the best thing that happened today?
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And so two things our minds, which really think about
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positive things in the brain being you know, positive things
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in the brain are like two fried eggs in a
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teflon pan. They slide right off. There's no reason for
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our brain to store these things. Our brain is hardwired
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to scan the environment, and we talk about this natural
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negativity bias. It's always scanning the environment for a threat
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and something that can file away is like okay, I
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know that's dangerous. I know I need to watch out
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for this. So it's wonderful when we're recollecting, when we're
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recalling what was the best thing that happened today? And
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we write that down. What we're doing is we're telling
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our brain this matters, pay attention. And so what's cool
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about this is we continue this process and you continue
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writing to this night after night, what's the best thing
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that happened today? Our brains are much more likely to
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look for those positive things than day. It's that whole
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principle in physics that what we focus on expand. So
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that's really one way to think about this, I think
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such an essential piece for us is also what was
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I grateful for today? And what was I grateful for? Exteriorly?
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So what was I grateful for the people, places, things
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that showed up in my life? And then what was
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I grateful for about myself today? How did I show
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up today in a way that really felt good to me?
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So it's having that same sense of gratitude for yourself.
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And the last question I like to ask myself to
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end of the day is if there's one thing I
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could have done differently, what would that have been? And
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now this is not permission to be critical of yourself
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and beat up yourself, it's really what is one thing
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that maybe one of the things I could have done
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for myself today? Those of you that know me know
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that I am an habitual napper and a nap advocate
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for people, and that we need twenty to twenty five
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minutes a day to perform at our highest level. And
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so maybe you know what I would have done differently
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today is today I only gave myself, you know, ten minutes.
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I was really in a rush, and I want to
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make sure that I'm taking care of myself and befriending
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myself in that way tomorrow. So okay, so these are
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great little check ins for just these beautiful bookends to
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our day. And now I think one of the important
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things we can talk about too, And this is going
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to be a short episode, and so we can talk
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about doing maybe a part two at some time at
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some point. But I think one of the important things is,
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you know, we all have habitual brains, and so we
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all get into these patterns of thinking, habitual ways of behaving,
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and so what can be really helpful is pattern interrupts
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when we're just on that hamster wheel, or we notice
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that we're really ratcheted up or anxious or worrying about
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the future, sure or ruminating about the past. It's like,
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how do I bring myself back into the present moment.
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How can I continue to bring myself back into my
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body so I can be embodied once more. And I
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really love the term like breathing ourselves back into our
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bodies and then taking up residence behind our own eyes.
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And so we can do these pattern interrupts to come
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back into alignment with our spark, with our essential self.
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It can be as simplistic as breathwork, and you can
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also bring yourself back into your body. Yes, I think
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breathing using physical sensations though as that portal. So as
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you breathe in, it's not just the breath in, it's
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actually that you are sensing your breath on the tips
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of your nostrils. As you breathe in, you're noticing your
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breath as it comes in through your nasal passages and
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it touches the back of your mouth or throat. And
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then you're noticing your breath as it moves into your lungs,
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and how your chest rises and falls with your breath,
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as your lungs expand and contract, and then maybe even
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a lower experience of your breath, just noticing how your
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diaphragm moves, how your abdomen expands and contracts with your breath.
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So those can be very simplistic ways that we can
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breathe ourselves and become present into this moment, become more
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embodied in this moment. And also if let's say that
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you're driving and you feel like, okay, I can't close
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my eyes, I can't drop in in this moment in
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that way, a great pattern in a rep. First of all,
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we just need to notice that we're in the loop, right.
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It's like it feels like it's a trance. Oftentimes I'm like,
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oh my god, I'm in the trance of my day.
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And so when we catch that, bringing yourself back sometimes
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to something as simplistic as you can feel into your hands,
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if even if you're driving, feel them on the steering wheel,
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Feel into the palms of your hands, through each finger
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to every fingertip, Feel into the soles of your feet,
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and feel into your feet from the inside. Notice the tingling,
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the aliveness. That's a great way to just do a pattern,
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interrupt you become very present in this moment. And of course,
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one of the things you can do, if you're able to,
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is get up from what you're doing. If you're at
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your desk, if you have the ability get up movement
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is such a great pattern. Interrupt go outside nature just
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feeds our soul. And even if you just have two
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to three minutes of sky time, just looking up, breathing,
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seeing what's going on, there's always something new and novel
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going on with the sky. So that's one of the
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things I would invite you to do. And so I
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guess that you know as I'm wrapping this up, but
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as I'm thinking about this, just giving you hopefully a
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few of these little golden nuggets. When we think about
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our potential, when we think about our success, it's not
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just about this ikta external success. This is really about
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internal alignment. And to me, that's like the greatest success
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we can have in our day, in the present moment,
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that we just keep coming back to ourselves and to
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know that nobody does this perfectly. Oftentimes I'm saying to
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my clients, this is a practice, not perfection. And so
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you can practice these things too. You can practice bringing
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yourself back into alignment, back into that inner awareness and
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connection with that divine spark that is alive and well
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within you, and then breathing in that divine energy. I
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love the expression of breathing that light into you and
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through you, and as you do that, you become more resourced,
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you become more productive, and you have a greater sense
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of peace. And that is my greatest desire for you listener,
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that you experience more love, more joy, more peace in
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your life. And then when the other experiences that inevitably happen,
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where we have sorrow or loss, or anger or pain,
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we're able to navigate through those rough waters so much
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more easily because we really do have that north star
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that's always guiding us, and it's as close as your breath,
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because it's actually right there inside of you. You are it.
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And so with much love, I say just farewell for now.
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I look forward to you joining me on the next
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episode when I bring you just really the most incredible
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I always say it's the most brilliant minds and serving
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hearts on the planet to help you truly live your
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best life. So subscribe make sure you don't miss an
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inspiring episode. So much love, take care and talk soon.
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You have been listening to Igniting the Spark with Stephanie James.
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Thank you so much for listening, and especial thanks to
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my amazing and magical producer Tony Faccini. You can find
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Igniting the Spark on all podcast platforms, so make sure
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you subscribe so you get every inspirational episode. For more
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information about this show, my books, my films, and my
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upcoming events, go to Stephanie James dot world and ignite
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your best life
