Ghosted & Roasted Ep#7 Featuring Jesse Pimpinella with Host Blair Bishop

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[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I love this.
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[SPEAKER_00]: This is so much fun.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I told you I get I get really into this like I get Yeah, I just got you hyped up on caffeine over here.
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[SPEAKER_00]: No, so I can tell you grew up Five o'clock to six o'clock every day on ABC family watching Gilmore girls
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[SPEAKER_00]: I know this because that was a sacred time in my house where my mom and sister put it on, everybody had to shut up because that was, that was Gilmore girl's time, okay?
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[SPEAKER_00]: And so yeah, I got that from you.
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[SPEAKER_00]: You used to be Spanish, you were an athlete, you are a dog lover, you have a projector screen, so tell me you have a good taste in movies so you like to watch movies as they should be watched on a bigger screen and not something cut down ratio wise.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Okay.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Yes.
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[SPEAKER_01]: What else do you see anything?
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[SPEAKER_01]: Also wait.
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[SPEAKER_01]: What kind of athlete?
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[SPEAKER_00]: You were a runner.
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[SPEAKER_01]: And high school yes.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Okay.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I actually, I did run the dog mom one, but the fifth line I walked.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Okay.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I just saw 5k.
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[SPEAKER_00]: That's why.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I wanted to share.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I just, any time I think of 5k, I'm like, oh, running.
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[SPEAKER_01]: But there's also a mystery over here because I don't have anything representing this I played soccer too.
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[SPEAKER_00]: You played soccer.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I didn't catch anything of soccer back here.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Oh yeah, I mean, yeah, all you see is basically running in baseball and I guess football autographs over there.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, ha, well, that would, you know, I would not have gotten that.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Based on the baseball memory really up there, but yeah.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I love hearing like your observations of this.
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[SPEAKER_00]: It's cool.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I've always been like that.
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[SPEAKER_00]: You could tell a lot from a person just by the observation.
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[SPEAKER_00]: You're looking at getting to know somebody better, you know, it's paying attention.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
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[SPEAKER_01]: It is.
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[SPEAKER_01]: It's simply that.
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[SPEAKER_01]: And that's what I don't understand why that's so hard for men in dating.
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[SPEAKER_00]: because we I think we live in a more self-involved society where we grew up with this okay uh you guys make sure you're getting this at all times and if you're not getting this you got bail and no one is at this point going like okay well maybe it's not about giving 50 50 it's good giving 100 you know I got to give my whole self to somebody in order to get that back
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[SPEAKER_00]: But no, and I think there's a certain trust issue where people are too afraid to give that whole hundred because think about like this, everybody has that one person that broke their heart and then they swear off ever giving that hundred percent ever again.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And then they stayed to carry that baggage into every relationship after that because they're like, I like this person.
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[SPEAKER_00]: This is great, but I'm not going to give up the whole hundred percent because I did it last time and this person did this and this person and because we all have a type.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So that type.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Well, remind you of that original person I did that no matter what subconsciously Hmm, so then you're protective you just want protect yourself.
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[SPEAKER_00]: That's all that is so it's I think a lot of times It's it's an immaturity thing that guys don't learn to grow up and just go okay No, this is a different person.
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[SPEAKER_00]: This is not the same person.
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[SPEAKER_00]: They look alike, but they aren't the same person
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[SPEAKER_01]: I feel like there was a lot just said there and we could so dissect that but really we'll get back to that But I feel like we should actually get started.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, yeah
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[SPEAKER_01]: Well, welcome to go sit and roasted.
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[SPEAKER_01]: The podcast about all things dating with a comedic twist.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I'm your host Blair Bishop and this is Jesse Pemponello.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Hello everyone.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Hi.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Hey.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Okay, so Jesse, we just had a whole intro of everything but let's start with a little bit about you.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Where you from?
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[SPEAKER_00]: I'm originally from Youngstown, Ohio, came here to Columbus.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I mean, my wife now live here, and yeah, we're digging it, loving it, and everything.
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[SPEAKER_01]: So tell me about your career a little bit, what do you love about any favorite parts?
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[SPEAKER_00]: uh... right now i i love touring like traveling like uh... going out to different places different cities yeah yeah yeah so we're meeting different people and learning you know because like it's so funny like how much the one joke can unite everybody and you're like oh we're a lot of the same little have the same quirks idioms and it is in crecies that make us very like is there one type of thing one concept of a joke or one premise that you feel like lately has really united the room
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[SPEAKER_00]: Uh, for me, my act has always been about making fun of myself, so like everybody's like, if I'm not getting made fun of it, and you are the sacrificial lamb, we'll go with that.
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[SPEAKER_00]: We'll go with that, because uh, I like, because I don't want to ever go into a room and everybody's like, all those in the front row, the comedians going to fuck with you and make you feel awful about yourself.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I don't do that.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I like making fun of myself, you know, I'll kid with you a little bit, but
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[SPEAKER_00]: Everybody's like I will make you look good like if you're with a date I'm not gonna make you look like in the in front of your day.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I'm gonna make you look better than me.
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[SPEAKER_00]: All right, and I would because I'm a good wingman And I'm like I'm you know because I had growing up.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I was a very I like seeing other people succeed So whether you know was a friend that was a girl or a guy or anything in between or whatever
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[SPEAKER_00]: you know, I want to see you happy.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I don't care who you are, what you are, where you are, what gender you are, whatever.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I just want to see you happy, and because I grew up on and I see a lot of the Disney stuff up there.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Oh yeah, so I don't think it's in the screen, but those are VHS tapes from my childhood of Disney movies.
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[SPEAKER_01]: So yeah, I'm not old, okay.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Yes.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And these are the good.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Well, these are the crack open.
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[SPEAKER_00]: All right.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So if you had the VHS that crack open, ice your knees right now, okay?
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[SPEAKER_00]: Because they hurt.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Okay?
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[SPEAKER_00]: They are pretty right now.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Because those those are cracking just as much.
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[SPEAKER_01]: You know what?
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[SPEAKER_01]: I'm going to grab one.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Just bring it down.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, just so we can like.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, I don't want a tip.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Don't fall over.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I love it.
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[SPEAKER_00]: This is like the most interactive episode of a reclining shit every night.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I feel like, you know, we're going to do some Cinderella up here.
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[SPEAKER_00]: This is Cinderella.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, I got.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, here we go.
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[SPEAKER_00]: This had three movies.
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[SPEAKER_00]: All right.
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[SPEAKER_00]: There was the second one had had the on ugly step sister fine love, which that was the net one of my favorites.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Did you just say the on ugly stuff?
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[SPEAKER_00]: She is, all right, she was a gem and everybody gave her shit.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I'm like, oh my god, she just has a bad personality.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Oh my god.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And then they did the twist and time.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I know a lot about these.
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[SPEAKER_00]: This is so embarrassing.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Wait, okay, pause.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Crack it open.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I want to hear this noise.
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[SPEAKER_01]: All right, so those of you younger than us, you freaking gen Z's and beyond.
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[SPEAKER_01]: This is what a VHS tape is like.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Look at that.
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[SPEAKER_01]: And these bad boys, yeah, you had to rewind them.
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[SPEAKER_01]: And if you were lucky, you had one of those machines that did it for you.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Yes, yes.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Oh my gosh, this is so good.
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[SPEAKER_00]: One more time.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Ah, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,
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[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, I want to unbox some other things.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Some of you, that's a good idea.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I love how I'm just like holding this, like it's the shopping network, still like, but anyways, I grew up on all these movies.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So I loved romance.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I love that.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I love the ending.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I love it.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I'm taking Archie's hair's obvious.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Yep.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Archie, you're a mess.
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[SPEAKER_01]: So you love romance, continue.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I love the happy endings of all these movies where the character gets the girl and someone got her the girl gets a guy, whatever it might be, just because like, we all deserve love.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, we do.
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[SPEAKER_01]: And I think that I'm ruined for dating because of watching this kind of thing growing up like this, the little mermaid, living beauty, et cetera, et cetera.
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[SPEAKER_01]: And it's just like, I want to freaking be Cinderella.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I want to have that beautiful dress and likes to stick
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[SPEAKER_00]: It's like a meat corny like that, so yeah, and here's the thing, I think every person can find someone like this.
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[SPEAKER_00]: It takes time, it takes like, it's difficult nowadays, because I think about like this.
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[SPEAKER_00]: When you're going into the dating world for me, and this is from me talking to my friends.
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[SPEAKER_00]: This is my past dating.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I am married now.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I've been out of the dating game for over 10 going on 11 years, married for five.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Wow.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Yes, yes.
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[SPEAKER_01]: So you dated for five, six years and then got been married for five.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Yes, cool.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Yes, and I still go on dates with her.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I went on a date with her last night.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, what'd you do?
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[SPEAKER_00]: Well, we went to a restaurant.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I was coming home from work and I said, hey, I'm coming home early.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Throw this on because I know she was doing, she's been, she had a dress that she's been dying to wear.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So I'm like, throw this on, let's go here and have a good time.
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[SPEAKER_00]: We went to, there's a place, I feel like I'm just doing infomercials now, Disney.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And there's a place in on Bethlehem Road that has a conveyor belt of sushi.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, I haven't tried it.
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[SPEAKER_01]: That's new, right?
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[SPEAKER_00]: It's so cool.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Yes.
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[SPEAKER_01]: What's it called?
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[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, God.
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[SPEAKER_00]: If I say the word out loud, it's going to sound so racist.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I don't want to say it.
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[SPEAKER_01]: How many spell it?
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[SPEAKER_00]: No.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I can't even spell it either.
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[SPEAKER_00]: It is Haba.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Oh God, you're okay.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I'm gonna go off airplane mode.
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[SPEAKER_00]: We're gonna get this, don't worry, cause this is a good date spot.
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[SPEAKER_00]: All right, get your guy to take you to this place, all right?
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[SPEAKER_00]: It's really good.
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[SPEAKER_01]: It's really good.
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[SPEAKER_01]: And while he's looking it up, I just have to say, how cute is it that he's like, he knows that his wife wanted to wear a dress.
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[SPEAKER_01]: He said, throw this on, let's go and go try this new restaurant.
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[SPEAKER_01]: How that's just cute, I love that.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, and it's just because, again, it's the, it's the, it's the romance of it all.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I mean, it's, it's, you know, it's called Hokkaido revolving sushi.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So H-O-K-K-A-I-D-O.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, it's on Bethlehem Road, which has a lot of good place.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Good luck with that.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, so many things.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Wow, okay.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I will try it one of these days.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Thank you for the recommendation.
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[SPEAKER_00]: It's very good.
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[SPEAKER_00]: It's very good.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Have you been to Arkahana?
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[SPEAKER_00]: No, I haven't.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Because that's my go-to.
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[SPEAKER_01]: So that's a good date, nice box.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Good date, that's why.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Let's go to for sushi.
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[SPEAKER_01]: It's just really good.
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[SPEAKER_01]: It's one of the, if not the best sushi in central Ohio.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Have you been to on date at that place?
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[SPEAKER_01]: Yes, actually.
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[SPEAKER_00]: How to go.
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[SPEAKER_01]: both times it went well um yeah okay so the the one time was like a year ago the other time was more recent and um wow I'm on the spot now oh I'm so sorry I love it so the more recent got what what we're gonna ask I was gonna say it kind of gives you this home field advantage you're in a place that's comfortable it's nice yeah and makes the data a little bit easier
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[SPEAKER_01]: I guess so which I'm yeah because I've gone there from my birthday instead of before too.
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[SPEAKER_01]: So it's not like I associate it just with those dates or anything But I definitely know what I like there and you can learn a lot about a date based on the swishy order Oh, yes, yeah, and based on how judge do you feel by the other person on what you pick?
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[SPEAKER_01]: Because I don't like raw sushi very much like I get sketched out by it because I did not grow up eating fish at home.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, so I'm like
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[SPEAKER_01]: and I'll try bites but I get scared and I felt like the last guy went out with definitely judged me for my order really like how like just because I'm like a shrimp tempura girly give me that yield sauce to go with it and
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[SPEAKER_01]: And I felt kind of sketched out about some of the stuff that he was picking.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And so I was like, wait, wait, what was, what was bringing you sketch feelings?
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[SPEAKER_01]: Like, it was just a rough-ish, the rough-ish.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Okay.
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[SPEAKER_01]: And so I still ate some.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Don't get me wrong.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I still try to ate it whatever.
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[SPEAKER_01]: But because I'm willing to try new things and whatever.
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[SPEAKER_01]: But I just felt like I was being super judged.
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[SPEAKER_01]: And that's honestly like,
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[SPEAKER_01]: That's not the only time he made me feel super judged for what I picked which is it's obviously like red flags Like oh, that's really sucky.
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[SPEAKER_00]: No, that's a red flag.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, now let me ask you this because I'm curious because I've never Has seen sushi be a red flag like listen.
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[SPEAKER_00]: She grabs the California roll.
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[SPEAKER_00]: You're good to go.
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[SPEAKER_00]: You see the Philadelphia get the fuck out, right?
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[SPEAKER_00]: So I'm actually interested in how are you feeling like what were you what was he projecting like was he projecting like okay She grabbed the California roll.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I can't trust her
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[SPEAKER_01]: Well, okay, it was more just when I ordered, but you know how when you pick something and then like there's like a subtle change in the expression on that other person's face.
12:51.465 --> 12:52.186
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, yeah, okay.
12:52.206 --> 13:03.220
[SPEAKER_01]: Like that's kind of what it is and it's it's not like I'm a psychologist like super observant of everything, but like you know how you feel and then you like me as a natural people, please are it kind of like pains me when.
13:03.200 --> 13:25.107
[SPEAKER_00]: yeah other people kind of have some sour look or something towards me for something even though it's just me choosing the food that I like yeah when the same thing happened with drinks food food's very uh personal it's it's it's there's a certain intimacy of it because we feel good i mean and so when someone looks at you feeling good and they're like
13:25.087 --> 13:31.538
[SPEAKER_00]: It's a really hurt thing to be like that, and that's what I'm going back about the same before.
13:31.638 --> 13:35.504
[SPEAKER_00]: I think we look so much inward in how we feel about another person.
13:35.865 --> 13:39.912
[SPEAKER_00]: We don't look at like how we can make the other person feel instead.
13:39.952 --> 13:40.974
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
13:40.994 --> 13:44.019
[SPEAKER_00]: I mean, like instead of going, oh, go, why?
13:44.259 --> 13:45.441
[SPEAKER_00]: Why is that your favorite?
13:45.421 --> 13:48.508
[SPEAKER_01]: Maybe, yeah, I mean, I think first to understand.
13:48.669 --> 13:52.598
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, the first to understand it's so many people fail at doing that.
13:52.919 --> 13:53.260
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
13:53.280 --> 13:55.566
[SPEAKER_01]: And it's such a good life lesson.
13:55.906 --> 14:01.961
[SPEAKER_00]: It's, it's so simple and like just asking questions, you could learn so much about a person.
14:02.122 --> 14:02.903
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
14:02.964 --> 14:03.565
[SPEAKER_00]: And I think,
14:04.456 --> 14:07.060
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, communication nowadays is so bad.
14:07.100 --> 14:09.985
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I mean, like, we're too- This is a library on why.
14:10.246 --> 14:15.214
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, because I think some of us don't have eye contact anymore and talk with each other.
14:15.254 --> 14:18.500
[SPEAKER_00]: We, cause, okay, so let me give you an example, all right?
14:18.520 --> 14:27.595
[SPEAKER_00]: When you text somebody, have you ever text at somebody and then you're like, delete delete delete, we write it, we write it, we write it, we write it, that's how human speech works.
14:27.575 --> 14:28.877
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I'd say something.
14:28.997 --> 14:29.718
[SPEAKER_00]: It's out in the open.
14:29.778 --> 14:30.219
[SPEAKER_00]: It's gone.
14:30.339 --> 14:53.295
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't really have a lot of time to think about But texting you sit there and you're almost writing a very, like, mac-evalient I mean, I need to make this person feel this way Delete, delete, they can't let them know I cared too much But to care a little bit, no, no, no, no, no You know, it just feels so strategized and I think You're feeling like someone's working you like a mark
14:53.275 --> 14:55.359
[SPEAKER_00]: And it kind of sucks.
14:55.379 --> 14:56.261
[SPEAKER_01]: That tracks.
14:56.281 --> 14:59.067
[SPEAKER_01]: And that, you know, I am so bad at this.
14:59.328 --> 15:08.567
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm so bad at doing that because I end up talk texting a lot, which I, you've obviously experienced with my books that I sometimes texted you before preparing for this.
15:08.587 --> 15:10.812
[SPEAKER_00]: And that's how I know you're a decent honest person.
15:12.884 --> 15:15.428
[SPEAKER_00]: because you're like, whatever, let it fly.
15:15.468 --> 15:18.052
[SPEAKER_00]: Hey, Jesse, anyways, just park anywhere.
15:18.072 --> 15:18.873
[SPEAKER_00]: You see a number?
15:19.374 --> 15:21.156
[SPEAKER_00]: Number, you park there anyways.
15:21.216 --> 15:22.638
[SPEAKER_00]: No, no, she's the sweetest person ever.
15:22.698 --> 15:28.547
[SPEAKER_00]: No, but what I mean is like, you weren't trying to put on a presentation on how to talk to me.
15:28.567 --> 15:31.552
[SPEAKER_00]: You were just like, hey, look, this is me, and if you like it, great, I'm not going to.
15:31.612 --> 15:31.872
[SPEAKER_00]: So, okay.
15:31.852 --> 15:41.689
[SPEAKER_00]: And that's the energy people need to carry with and I think people vibe with that a lot better than, you know You've seen relationships where I call them the Russian doll.
15:42.070 --> 15:52.408
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I mean, we're there's another one inside Two months later they could become this and then there another one right there and then by the time we get to the month five you're like These two don't match
15:52.675 --> 15:58.645
[SPEAKER_01]: That's the first time I've heard of anyone ever comparing it to a Russian all but that's a very good metaphor.
15:58.865 --> 16:09.061
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, you can only keep a lie or a facade up for so long and you're not a medieval time actor.
16:09.142 --> 16:11.445
[SPEAKER_00]: You're not going to be able to keep this up the whole entire time.
16:12.146 --> 16:15.612
[SPEAKER_00]: In five months, you're going to break the real version of you will come out and
16:15.592 --> 16:37.937
[SPEAKER_00]: If that person did not get to know the real person that's where you see relationships starting to crumble and that's a communication issue You didn't communicate who you were you didn't communicate your views you didn't communicate the type of relationship you want the type of honesty one dare I say didn't even have the honesty to be who you were And therefore that's when you see these relationships that start falling apart so
16:38.103 --> 16:40.408
[SPEAKER_01]: men, women, et cetera.
16:40.448 --> 16:43.293
[SPEAKER_01]: Take that because that's so true.
16:43.313 --> 16:45.317
[SPEAKER_01]: Be your authentic self, for real.
16:45.538 --> 16:45.938
[SPEAKER_00]: Be it.
16:46.600 --> 16:52.852
[SPEAKER_01]: Like, seriously, it's so disheartening when you go on a date and the person's too afraid to be who they are.
16:53.213 --> 16:55.437
[SPEAKER_01]: Like, I have a...
16:55.417 --> 16:56.700
[SPEAKER_01]: Maybe it's not, oh, it's up there.
16:56.720 --> 17:03.213
[SPEAKER_01]: There's a doctor's who's quote up there that says, be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.
17:03.754 --> 17:06.700
[SPEAKER_01]: That's been my quote that I've lived by since high school.
17:06.801 --> 17:07.422
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
17:07.442 --> 17:09.667
[SPEAKER_01]: And I know doctor's who's in high school, whatever.
17:09.787 --> 17:10.989
[SPEAKER_01]: We had to pick a senior quote.
17:11.069 --> 17:12.312
[SPEAKER_01]: So that's what I did.
17:12.292 --> 17:27.398
[SPEAKER_01]: and yeah like if you check out my yearbook which we could after you'll it'll be in there but yeah be yourself essentially and I've been on so many dates she was being herself at the end and she got the prince
17:27.513 --> 17:29.476
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, yeah, I just wanted to throw that out there.
17:29.496 --> 17:33.141
[SPEAKER_00]: No, quick, no Disney plug before it goes back.
17:33.181 --> 17:36.847
[SPEAKER_00]: And remember those commercials that were like, by this before it goes back into the Disney vault?
17:36.867 --> 17:37.388
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, yeah.
17:37.408 --> 17:39.491
[SPEAKER_00]: Remember though, I was such a 90s commercial.
17:39.511 --> 17:42.795
[SPEAKER_01]: Do you think that I wonder where allowed to say, like, quote Disney?
17:42.856 --> 17:44.338
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't think that's a problem on here.
17:44.418 --> 17:45.119
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't think it is.
17:45.379 --> 17:45.640
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't know.
17:45.660 --> 17:46.241
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't know.
17:46.321 --> 17:46.661
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
17:46.681 --> 17:48.103
[SPEAKER_01]: I think it's not copy, right?
17:48.123 --> 17:48.324
[SPEAKER_00]: It's not.
17:48.364 --> 17:51.689
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, Cinderella, I mean, he's still, I mean, Cinderella's not originally a Disney thing.
17:51.709 --> 17:52.710
[SPEAKER_00]: It's a grim tale.
17:53.264 --> 17:55.646
[SPEAKER_01]: True, somehow it became a Disney movie.
17:55.706 --> 17:56.788
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, they just co-opted it.
17:57.228 --> 17:57.989
[SPEAKER_00]: They knew what they were doing.
17:58.469 --> 18:01.653
[SPEAKER_01]: So, okay, we've talked about a lot.
18:02.073 --> 18:05.156
[SPEAKER_01]: Are there any follow-up questions or things before I ask something?
18:05.917 --> 18:07.579
[SPEAKER_00]: Hmm, well yeah, okay, let me ask you this.
18:08.660 --> 18:10.141
[SPEAKER_00]: Now, if there's somebody who's dating right now.
18:10.422 --> 18:10.762
[SPEAKER_02]: Okay.
18:10.782 --> 18:18.550
[SPEAKER_00]: Whether some of the, what are some red flag communication issues that you might see early on in somebody that you're dating.
18:18.570 --> 18:20.672
[SPEAKER_00]: Or maybe you saw that your friend had gone through.
18:20.821 --> 18:28.844
[SPEAKER_01]: Um, okay, something that happened to me this past like week or two, um, was talking to this guy.
18:29.285 --> 18:31.371
[SPEAKER_01]: We had very, very, thank you, Camer.
18:32.667 --> 18:33.408
[SPEAKER_00]: It's not food.
18:33.429 --> 18:34.070
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm sorry here.
18:34.090 --> 18:34.370
[SPEAKER_00]: Come here.
18:34.611 --> 18:35.473
[SPEAKER_00]: I'll give you the pets.
18:35.493 --> 18:35.813
[SPEAKER_00]: Come here.
18:37.256 --> 18:37.557
[SPEAKER_00]: Come here.
18:37.637 --> 18:39.781
[SPEAKER_00]: This is a show about love and that's all he wants.
18:39.821 --> 18:40.763
[SPEAKER_00]: He just wants your love.
18:41.064 --> 18:41.565
[SPEAKER_01]: He does.
18:41.605 --> 18:46.796
[SPEAKER_01]: Anyway, he's being nosy into my crafting corner over there.
18:47.417 --> 18:53.950
[SPEAKER_01]: I was we had a very consistent texting communication with this guy that I met on hinge.
18:53.930 --> 18:54.771
[SPEAKER_01]: and things were good.
18:54.911 --> 18:58.456
[SPEAKER_01]: And we found out on our first date that we had a lot of stuff in common.
18:58.476 --> 19:01.961
[SPEAKER_01]: It was really like honestly bizarre how much stuff we had in common.
19:01.981 --> 19:02.462
[SPEAKER_01]: It was cool.
19:03.122 --> 19:10.873
[SPEAKER_01]: And then this past Monday, he completely ghosted me out of nowhere.
19:10.973 --> 19:11.934
[SPEAKER_01]: And I was like, what the hell?
19:12.135 --> 19:14.678
[SPEAKER_01]: So it was just inconsistent communication.
19:15.059 --> 19:16.140
[SPEAKER_01]: So then
19:16.120 --> 19:24.936
[SPEAKER_01]: And my mind, I'm like, okay, he told me he wanted to go on another date, and we still had good communication after our first date.
19:25.457 --> 19:34.193
[SPEAKER_01]: But then Monday hit, and then Tuesday, I basically texted him, and I'm like, hey, just checking in, essentially, I forget what I specifically said.
19:34.974 --> 19:39.883
[SPEAKER_01]: And he's like, sorry, you work's been crazy, which I'm like, okay.
19:39.863 --> 19:47.057
[SPEAKER_01]: That's not a big deal, but maybe like you could say, hey, FYI, I have a really busy work week, blah, blah, blah.
19:47.377 --> 19:50.163
[SPEAKER_01]: So then Tuesday, we texted a few times.
19:50.704 --> 19:52.708
[SPEAKER_01]: Then Wednesday rolls around nothing.
19:53.589 --> 19:57.457
[SPEAKER_01]: Thursday, we were supposed to see each other Friday, which is yesterday.
19:57.938 --> 20:00.623
[SPEAKER_01]: And so Thursday rolls around, I'm like, hey,
20:00.603 --> 20:05.027
[SPEAKER_01]: Um, based on your lack of communication, I'm assuming that we're not getting together tomorrow.
20:05.868 --> 20:11.072
[SPEAKER_01]: And he basically wrote this thing and he was like, yeah, work has just been crazy.
20:11.112 --> 20:14.756
[SPEAKER_01]: And I'm essentially going to be really busy until X time this summer, blah, blah, blah.
20:15.436 --> 20:30.610
[SPEAKER_01]: And I'm like, on our first date, we specifically both said we feel like we prioritize our jobs over our social, our personal dating lives, um, which is why we're both single in our 30s, in our opinions.
20:30.590 --> 20:52.834
[SPEAKER_01]: Like, so I've said, okay, so it sounds like you're actually still prioritizing your job over your personal dating life unlike what we talked about during the date, and so basically it was nice meeting you, but like I called him out on that, because I'm like, you literally said on the date that you wanted to
20:52.814 --> 20:56.299
[SPEAKER_01]: change that in this period of your life.
20:57.000 --> 21:02.248
[SPEAKER_01]: And how are you going to be able to have a wife, future children, et cetera?
21:02.288 --> 21:08.877
[SPEAKER_01]: If you can't balance in some way, shape of form, even if it's just like, hey, I'm going to be really busy today.
21:09.258 --> 21:11.601
[SPEAKER_01]: Let's touch base when I'm off work or whatever.
21:11.701 --> 21:13.624
[SPEAKER_01]: Like you have like,
21:13.604 --> 21:17.890
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't expect to be texting constantly with someone I'm dating at the beginning.
21:17.970 --> 21:20.513
[SPEAKER_01]: It's fun because it's like, oh, I want to get to know this person.
21:20.573 --> 21:26.501
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, but like in that and since I was just like, man, something's off here.
21:26.561 --> 21:27.383
[SPEAKER_01]: Like, this is weird.
21:27.423 --> 21:31.428
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I mean, I mean, that should be the most exciting time when you get a text.
21:31.448 --> 21:33.811
[SPEAKER_00]: You'd run do it and you're like, it's almost a high.
21:33.831 --> 21:34.672
[SPEAKER_00]: It's a dopamine.
21:34.793 --> 21:38.818
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, it's a, it is, it is a closest I've ever gotten to a drug bump.
21:38.798 --> 21:39.799
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, you know what I mean?
21:40.180 --> 21:48.490
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, the thing, I mean, like, I just go crazy, like, you know, turning over furniture to get to my phone, flipping it open because I tell longer I dated.
21:48.991 --> 21:52.435
[SPEAKER_02]: Ah, I don't think that's so good.
21:53.136 --> 21:55.559
[SPEAKER_00]: But the point is it's like, it's a don't I?
21:55.579 --> 21:56.981
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't know, you could do, you could do no.
21:57.281 --> 21:59.244
[SPEAKER_00]: We'll talk about no, but now we'll give you any ear scratches.
21:59.404 --> 22:02.848
[SPEAKER_01]: Anyway, those of you only listening to audio, that's to my dog not me.
22:03.049 --> 22:03.850
[SPEAKER_00]: No, yes, sorry.
22:04.310 --> 22:08.215
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh my god, I forgot there's a video, there's only a video version, sometimes.
22:08.195 --> 22:13.120
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, there's video on YouTube and then audio and Spotify and Apple Podcasts.
22:13.361 --> 22:26.135
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, there is a beautiful, beautiful dog here and he demands the ear scratches and I am just delivering because I'm a guest in this house and I'm, I've been given coffee, I've been trained nicely, the least I can do is ear scratches.
22:27.276 --> 22:28.357
[SPEAKER_01]: He says thank you.
22:28.377 --> 22:31.621
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes, so anyway, also they might hear from the mic.
22:31.641 --> 22:33.443
[SPEAKER_00]: He's up there and he gets close to it.
22:33.423 --> 22:35.212
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, true, that you might hear him panting.
22:35.312 --> 22:36.699
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, that's not me, guys.
22:36.719 --> 22:37.684
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm not panting.
22:37.764 --> 22:39.010
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm not just some creeps.
22:39.030 --> 22:40.598
[SPEAKER_00]: I think I'm Blair's couchboy.
22:41.152 --> 23:02.554
[SPEAKER_00]: That's so funny, okay, so I was just all I was going to say was, you know, I'm glad that you got out of that situation because, yeah, if he's not ready to make the commitment to wanting to change his life like that, there's something you could do to make that change.
23:03.154 --> 23:08.560
[SPEAKER_00]: And if you need to find somebody who's on that same path that wants to do what you're trying to do right now.
23:08.540 --> 23:13.652
[SPEAKER_00]: because I'll admit my wife and I when I we were dating, I was a workaholic.
23:13.772 --> 23:23.815
[SPEAKER_00]: I was a wrote a lot and well, and I needed to and in order to make the relationship work, I had to take a step back and go, well, look.
23:23.795 --> 23:33.347
[SPEAKER_00]: I can be on the road as much as I want, and then neglect somebody or I can find a balance and go for a very happy ending of a life, and I chose the happy ending life, and it's work.
23:33.387 --> 23:33.927
[SPEAKER_00]: It's hard work.
23:33.988 --> 23:35.830
[SPEAKER_00]: It's not easy.
23:35.890 --> 23:43.299
[SPEAKER_00]: But it doesn't feel like work because when you find someone that's worth it, you'll do about anything.
23:43.319 --> 23:45.702
[SPEAKER_00]: You'll move hell on earth for that person.
23:45.682 --> 23:52.590
[SPEAKER_00]: And also I wanted to say one other thing, you know, you mentioned like you were saying the struggle of dating in the 30s, you know what I mean?
23:52.610 --> 23:53.071
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
23:53.091 --> 23:56.555
[SPEAKER_00]: And I don't know what that's like, but love is a marathon in a race.
23:57.557 --> 23:57.717
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
23:57.737 --> 23:59.159
[SPEAKER_00]: You're fine, love, you're fine, love.
23:59.179 --> 24:01.021
[SPEAKER_00]: That's when that's when the time is right.
24:01.521 --> 24:07.929
[SPEAKER_00]: When I, when I, when I first, Okay, so before I got back together in my wife, okay, so here's what happened.
24:07.969 --> 24:08.750
[SPEAKER_01]: Back together.
24:09.251 --> 24:10.052
[SPEAKER_00]: It's a long story.
24:10.072 --> 24:13.656
[SPEAKER_00]: I'll tell you a quick little, long story of that.
24:14.137 --> 24:14.237
[UNKNOWN]: Okay.
24:14.504 --> 24:16.426
[SPEAKER_00]: met my wife in high school, right?
24:18.428 --> 24:21.690
[SPEAKER_00]: Up in Yonge Sound, didn't date her because I was so afraid.
24:21.710 --> 24:23.993
[SPEAKER_00]: I was a damaged, damaged kid.
24:24.593 --> 24:30.138
[SPEAKER_00]: I was very, my parents were divorced and there was a lot bad things going on.
24:30.158 --> 24:32.460
[SPEAKER_00]: So love was very disgusting for me.
24:32.500 --> 24:35.022
[SPEAKER_00]: I hated love, it became a lie.
24:35.123 --> 24:36.304
[SPEAKER_00]: You know what I mean?
24:36.324 --> 24:40.547
[SPEAKER_00]: Because you were raised by two parents that love each other and then that was a constant.
24:40.628 --> 24:44.511
[SPEAKER_00]: When that's broken, then you're thinking like, oh God, okay, if that's broken,
24:44.491 --> 24:44.872
[SPEAKER_00]: broken.
24:45.813 --> 24:52.182
[SPEAKER_00]: So then I didn't date her in high school and then I got into, we went to different colleges.
24:52.403 --> 24:56.268
[SPEAKER_00]: I got into a bad relationship that was just toxic.
24:58.331 --> 25:05.722
[SPEAKER_00]: This girl that I was dating at the time, she cheated on me in ways that it's an art form now.
25:06.743 --> 25:09.427
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh my gosh.
25:09.828 --> 25:13.333
[SPEAKER_00]: One of the things
25:13.752 --> 25:15.814
[SPEAKER_00]: that if she came to a show.
25:16.621 --> 25:25.513
[SPEAKER_00]: she would go out back with somebody in someone in a car and she knew the, she, she synchronized her watch to my jokes, okay?
25:25.553 --> 25:31.721
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, all right, when the audience started clapping, her cheeks were done clapping, that's how it worked, okay?
25:31.741 --> 25:33.664
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh my, Lance, yes.
25:34.024 --> 25:41.514
[SPEAKER_00]: And her cousin who hated her told me about this, I would have never found that it was brilliant art of cheating, okay?
25:41.995 --> 25:45.700
[SPEAKER_00]: This is like, oh, she's 11, you get Danny Oceans,
25:45.680 --> 25:48.344
[SPEAKER_00]: He's on stage talking about how do we cheat?
25:49.045 --> 25:50.687
[SPEAKER_01]: I mean, that's horrifying.
25:50.827 --> 25:51.308
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh my god.
25:51.748 --> 25:52.970
[SPEAKER_00]: So I get out of that relationship.
25:53.010 --> 25:54.492
[SPEAKER_00]: I swear off love.
25:55.073 --> 25:55.714
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm done.
25:56.074 --> 25:57.216
[SPEAKER_00]: I will never find anybody.
25:57.316 --> 25:57.876
[SPEAKER_00]: I have a plan.
25:57.917 --> 25:58.918
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm going to New York City.
25:58.958 --> 26:00.099
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm going to do comedy.
26:00.800 --> 26:02.663
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't want to see another person ever again.
26:04.445 --> 26:05.567
[SPEAKER_00]: She comes back in my life.
26:05.667 --> 26:06.188
[SPEAKER_00]: So happens.
26:06.909 --> 26:07.810
[SPEAKER_00]: And I ban you.
26:07.830 --> 26:08.451
[SPEAKER_00]: You're now wife.
26:08.511 --> 26:09.392
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes.
26:09.541 --> 26:15.869
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes, and I regretted never-day during high school because I was so afraid to date someone so nice and wonderful and caring.
26:16.770 --> 26:20.295
[SPEAKER_00]: And because I just didn't want to screw that up.
26:21.036 --> 26:21.416
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay.
26:21.436 --> 26:25.181
[SPEAKER_00]: Because I knew I was damaged goods and I didn't want to poison something I thought was great.
26:25.201 --> 26:27.724
[SPEAKER_00]: So I was like, don't ever, don't screw those up.
26:27.904 --> 26:29.146
[SPEAKER_00]: She deserves happiness, whatever.
26:29.486 --> 26:30.047
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
26:30.027 --> 26:45.049
[SPEAKER_00]: uh... that we started dating and i abandoned every single plan every single principle every moral and to make that life work with her and i've had uh... it's been up hill battles where some people said you know you change your plan you did this you did that and i don't regret a moment
26:45.637 --> 26:46.118
[SPEAKER_01]: Good.
26:46.498 --> 26:52.024
[SPEAKER_00]: My point is, is that when I say it's a marathon, it happens when it happens.
26:52.364 --> 26:52.825
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
26:52.845 --> 26:54.647
[SPEAKER_00]: Not a moment to soon, not a moment to late.
26:55.027 --> 27:10.243
[SPEAKER_00]: And sometimes it will happen when you don't expect it, and it will happen in the times where it's the most inconvenient that you have to blow up the current world you're in in order to create or dare I say restore the world you should have been originally.
27:10.561 --> 27:13.509
[SPEAKER_01]: Ooh, wow, that's all poetic and stuff.
27:14.853 --> 27:21.432
[SPEAKER_00]: I love my wife, I'm very, very lucky, very fortunate to be with her.
27:21.715 --> 27:22.997
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, that's awesome.
27:23.017 --> 27:23.638
[SPEAKER_01]: And you know what?
27:24.240 --> 27:30.250
[SPEAKER_01]: I have had the pleasure of meeting a handful of men that speak like that about their wives.
27:30.851 --> 27:41.030
[SPEAKER_01]: That, to me, the things that you say, the kinds things you say about your significant other when they're not in the room, that's the kind of person that I wanna be with one day.
27:41.130 --> 27:42.011
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
27:42.472 --> 27:45.037
[SPEAKER_01]: It's so heartwarming to get to witness that.
27:45.417 --> 27:46.339
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, that's my teammate.
27:46.319 --> 27:47.000
[SPEAKER_00]: That's my partner.
27:47.380 --> 27:49.503
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm not going to shit on my partner when I'm not when she's not around.
27:49.543 --> 27:50.124
[SPEAKER_00]: That's my partner.
27:50.404 --> 27:50.805
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
27:50.825 --> 27:54.970
[SPEAKER_00]: And I think a lot of times people forget that again, we grew up in the 1980s, like, take my wife, please.
27:55.291 --> 27:56.432
[SPEAKER_00]: I miss my wife with a gun.
27:56.452 --> 27:56.592
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
27:56.612 --> 27:59.055
[SPEAKER_00]: I mean, like, we grew up with that age.
27:59.716 --> 28:06.265
[SPEAKER_00]: And again, those, that's comedy for some people, and they, like, and there is humor to it for me, I'm like, that's my wife.
28:06.565 --> 28:09.048
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't want to say anything ill of her.
28:09.068 --> 28:14.976
[SPEAKER_00]: I mean, that's, so, and that's, and that's, and that's, and you don't
28:15.226 --> 28:18.591
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, because this thing right here, this thing right here.
28:18.632 --> 28:19.914
[SPEAKER_01]: The ring, his wedding ring.
28:20.054 --> 28:22.177
[SPEAKER_00]: It don't make me a better, it doesn't make me anything.
28:22.959 --> 28:25.503
[SPEAKER_00]: I think this off, you could still be a good partner.
28:25.843 --> 28:26.064
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
28:26.204 --> 28:27.346
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm still a good partner.
28:27.827 --> 28:31.152
[SPEAKER_00]: Most times, I hate when it's like people like, oh, you're gonna get married things change.
28:31.412 --> 28:33.155
[SPEAKER_00]: No, don't ever ever say that.
28:34.297 --> 28:36.501
[SPEAKER_00]: It should, when you get married, nothing should change.
28:37.202 --> 28:38.824
[SPEAKER_00]: The only thing it should change is taxes.
28:39.465 --> 28:40.407
[SPEAKER_00]: That's it.
28:41.332 --> 28:41.853
[SPEAKER_00]: That's all.
28:42.354 --> 28:50.312
[SPEAKER_00]: If it's like, it's not like I can be a shitty who being, I'm like, oh, I love her, I gotta be nice to her.
28:50.332 --> 28:54.902
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, I should go all the time, find her back, it'd be like, I mean, like,
28:55.878 --> 29:03.348
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't, and I don't know why, it's like that, it means I'm aging, it's, you know what I'm talking about, you've seen what I'm talking about.
29:03.368 --> 29:16.806
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm just laughing because of you're, oh, yeah, I mean, that's it, but you know, it's like, okay, you go, you're like the classic bathroom part, you're really going to go out where they have the most debotuous in the world, last temptations, why?
29:16.786 --> 29:21.154
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, honestly, I agree like if you why are you still with her?
29:21.514 --> 29:34.457
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, like you like why I I so agree that cuz I'm like I'm sorry you guys promised to be together forever like unless you're doing some packed and you want to both have to get more That's fine
29:34.437 --> 29:35.839
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, but it's just like man.
29:35.960 --> 29:40.468
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't want that like if I'm if I'm getting married to someone We're not cheating on each other.
29:40.828 --> 29:49.864
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, and if we if we have issues, we're working them out And so something that's important to figure out is like how you deal with conflict
29:49.912 --> 30:08.190
[SPEAKER_00]: you have to meet it head on a lot times it's the uncomfortable conversations it's the door is locked we're going to have this fight because we have to have this fight we need this fight because you're going to say things you're not going to like to say I'm going to say things I don't like but they need to be said because if you have two people there just
30:08.170 --> 30:15.738
[SPEAKER_00]: Painfully nice to each other, stepping on eggshells, what happens is someone blows up and does something they regret.
30:16.299 --> 30:16.819
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
30:16.839 --> 30:26.049
[SPEAKER_00]: And what I mean by the blow-up, I mean, cheat on somebody, say something so inconsiderately awful that you can't take that back.
30:26.550 --> 30:32.937
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, and because you're resenting the person, you're resenting them because they represent what keeps you unhappy.
30:34.498 --> 30:36.000
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, my crap.
30:37.229 --> 30:48.623
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm yeah, I'm like how old are you you have so many wisdom nuggets 30 I'm 33 you're also you're only two years older than me Yeah, when do you birthday February 28th
30:48.721 --> 30:51.446
[SPEAKER_01]: So you've just turned 33, so you're like a year and a half older than me.
30:51.486 --> 30:51.726
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes.
30:52.167 --> 30:53.169
[SPEAKER_01]: Dang!
30:54.431 --> 31:02.465
[SPEAKER_01]: This is what the difference of, like, well, this is what different outcomes could be since we're on a marathon, not a sprint or whatever.
31:02.645 --> 31:03.707
[SPEAKER_01]: It's very long ago.
31:03.727 --> 31:03.827
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
31:04.268 --> 31:05.911
[SPEAKER_01]: Like, holy moly, dude.
31:06.251 --> 31:09.156
[SPEAKER_00]: It's a marathon, like, and also therapy.
31:09.176 --> 31:09.918
[SPEAKER_00]: Therapy helps.
31:10.338 --> 31:12.382
[SPEAKER_01]: There is a great, great tool.
31:12.582 --> 31:14.205
[SPEAKER_00]: My wife broke up with me at one point.
31:15.012 --> 31:15.593
[SPEAKER_01]: why?
31:15.894 --> 31:18.921
[SPEAKER_00]: Because I was very mentally unhealthy.
31:19.402 --> 31:22.008
[SPEAKER_01]: And did you start going to therapy after you broke up?
31:22.028 --> 31:23.371
[SPEAKER_00]: I was going to therapy on off.
31:23.411 --> 31:31.890
[SPEAKER_00]: I wasn't taking a serious and I was I was I was in a dark place and I wasn't taking care of myself and it's not her responsibility to be my therapist.
31:31.955 --> 31:55.077
[SPEAKER_00]: that's so true that's not her job her job is not she isn't the person that comes in guys all right we got to fix this shit uh we gotta take out the back wall you know that's not what her job is her job is for me to give about a hundred percent myself if she gives a hundred percent back and I wasn't given my hundred percent so I went that therapy I got better and I was so petrified of dating her again because I was like oh god I fucked it up I fucked it up yeah my only fucking
31:55.057 --> 32:01.202
[SPEAKER_00]: And then, you know, it moved a little object meets unstopable force eventually, we've got back together and all this up.
32:01.563 --> 32:12.732
[SPEAKER_00]: But I tell people like, you know, it wasn't like we had this perfect happiness Cinderella thing, which, again, this is great, but it's also a little bit bullshit.
32:12.912 --> 32:14.514
[SPEAKER_00]: It's great, but it's a little bit bullshit.
32:14.554 --> 32:17.817
[SPEAKER_00]: Because, as you said, there will be struggles.
32:17.837 --> 32:19.598
[SPEAKER_00]: There'll be stuff that you have to meet head on.
32:19.638 --> 32:21.120
[SPEAKER_00]: There's stuff that you're gonna go through.
32:21.160 --> 32:25.063
[SPEAKER_00]: You have to go through in order to get the sack.
32:25.043 --> 32:28.039
[SPEAKER_00]: On eggshells we start and been nice to each other all entire time.
32:28.219 --> 32:29.044
[SPEAKER_00]: We are married to last?
32:29.466 --> 32:29.687
[SPEAKER_00]: No.
32:30.049 --> 32:31.999
[SPEAKER_00]: We were going to go on the hell.
32:32.165 --> 32:41.659
[SPEAKER_01]: So wait, I want to back up for one second because you said something that I thought was really important, and I just want to make sure this hits people on the head, or hits the nail on the head or whatever the hell.
32:43.321 --> 32:48.128
[SPEAKER_01]: You said that you went to therapy, but you did not take it seriously.
32:48.509 --> 32:53.156
[SPEAKER_01]: Like taking it seriously and actually trying to prove yourself as such a important thing to do.
32:53.817 --> 32:56.380
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes, because your brain is a muscle.
32:56.981 --> 32:59.505
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay, so if I grab a dumbbell and I go,
33:01.291 --> 33:02.193
[SPEAKER_00]: It's not going to work up my arm.
33:02.835 --> 33:06.142
[SPEAKER_00]: If I go to therapy and I just go, it's not going to work up my mind.
33:06.784 --> 33:10.072
[SPEAKER_00]: Actually, to do some work, I had to restructure the way I think things.
33:10.092 --> 33:16.988
[SPEAKER_00]: I had to meditate if something triggers me and I have a moment where something is triggering and the fact of me, I got to go, okay, wait slow down, slow down.
33:18.267 --> 33:21.011
[SPEAKER_00]: She's saying something, not your ex.
33:21.051 --> 33:21.993
[SPEAKER_00]: Your ex isn't saying that.
33:22.073 --> 33:23.054
[SPEAKER_00]: She is saying that.
33:23.315 --> 33:28.222
[SPEAKER_00]: Therefore, and she's her own person, just because she says it doesn't mean she's gonna act exactly like this person.
33:28.622 --> 33:28.943
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
33:29.083 --> 33:30.866
[SPEAKER_00]: So there's no connection here.
33:31.447 --> 33:34.551
[SPEAKER_00]: Cut it and treat her like the individual that she is.
33:34.972 --> 33:35.753
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
33:36.121 --> 33:38.083
[SPEAKER_00]: And, and it, and that takes time.
33:38.103 --> 33:38.883
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, I element.
33:38.924 --> 33:39.944
[SPEAKER_00]: I was an immature guy.
33:39.964 --> 33:43.428
[SPEAKER_00]: And I'm somewhat still am I, but watch a cartoon still.
33:44.489 --> 33:55.198
[SPEAKER_00]: But you, but I mean, is like, I was immature and, and sometimes it just, it takes time to get a little older, little wiser to realize, you know, you know, there are good people in the world.
33:55.238 --> 33:56.139
[SPEAKER_00]: You will find them.
33:56.179 --> 33:57.160
[SPEAKER_00]: It takes time.
33:57.881 --> 33:59.262
[SPEAKER_00]: But have fun until then.
33:59.342 --> 33:59.802
[SPEAKER_00]: Have fun.
33:59.962 --> 34:00.603
[SPEAKER_00]: Live life.
34:00.663 --> 34:03.986
[SPEAKER_00]: Don't just sit in a bomb shelter and waiting for it to be safe.
34:04.026 --> 34:06.128
[SPEAKER_00]: Get out
34:06.108 --> 34:10.413
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, but I feel like also I've been going on so many tangents.
34:10.513 --> 34:14.438
[SPEAKER_00]: I feel like you have a plan and I've been just like oh I'm fine with going on this.
34:14.898 --> 34:15.779
[SPEAKER_00]: I just want to make sure.
34:15.959 --> 34:16.340
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, no.
34:16.480 --> 34:24.089
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm fine with going on tangents I'm just making I'm reading through because we've actually hit a lot of these things and I'm just seeing like, you know Where we can go from here.
34:24.670 --> 34:27.293
[SPEAKER_01]: So I feel like this is fitting right now.
34:27.493 --> 34:31.137
[SPEAKER_01]: What are your core values with dating slash marriage?
34:31.117 --> 34:45.466
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay, yeah, because I learned at therapy recently that there are some core values that are the same regardless of who you are like every single person has these core values and then there are some that are specific to individuals.
34:45.747 --> 34:46.108
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, yeah.
34:46.609 --> 34:47.110
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, yeah, yeah.
34:47.871 --> 34:50.256
[SPEAKER_00]: Um, honesty.
34:50.236 --> 34:54.923
[SPEAKER_00]: painfully unadulterated honesty is so important.
34:55.664 --> 35:08.223
[SPEAKER_00]: Because honesty, it's not enough that you're just telling someone the truth, but you're respecting them enough to not try to coddle them and try to work their reaction.
35:08.844 --> 35:12.109
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, not try to like minimize what how they're going to react to something.
35:12.629 --> 35:14.973
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I mean, you just like, hey, look, here's what it is.
35:15.013 --> 35:16.256
[SPEAKER_00]: This is the case, Nara.
35:16.556 --> 35:22.346
[SPEAKER_00]: Cause here's the thing, bad news only gets worse as time goes on if you don't tell somebody it.
35:22.507 --> 35:23.448
[SPEAKER_01]: That's true.
35:23.469 --> 35:25.192
[SPEAKER_00]: It gets worse and worse and worse.
35:25.472 --> 35:26.334
[SPEAKER_00]: Just come out and tell them.
35:26.454 --> 35:35.430
[SPEAKER_00]: If the fact that you can't be honest with them is saying something about you but also about them, saying that you don't trust them enough to work with you.
35:35.596 --> 35:35.957
[SPEAKER_00]: with it.
35:36.337 --> 35:38.601
[SPEAKER_00]: And it's also saying like, oh, I got it.
35:39.102 --> 35:40.264
[SPEAKER_00]: I got to consolidate you.
35:40.725 --> 35:42.087
[SPEAKER_00]: I get to consolidate your brain.
35:42.888 --> 35:43.189
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
35:43.509 --> 35:44.992
[SPEAKER_00]: No, don't consolidate the person.
35:45.252 --> 35:50.000
[SPEAKER_00]: If the person loves you, the person cares about you, they want to jump headfirst into whatever it is with you.
35:50.441 --> 35:52.525
[SPEAKER_00]: But you have to earn that with honesty.
35:52.745 --> 35:57.132
[SPEAKER_01]: And so I want to add something here that I've learned with dating people over time.
35:57.874 --> 35:58.735
[SPEAKER_01]: Like,
35:58.900 --> 36:05.010
[SPEAKER_01]: They're first of all, there are different ways to still be honest, but not be hurtful.
36:05.590 --> 36:06.772
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes, yes, yes.
36:07.273 --> 36:14.204
[SPEAKER_01]: And, and there are sometimes the other person maybe exhausted.
36:14.224 --> 36:15.887
[SPEAKER_01]: They had a long day at work or something.
36:16.407 --> 36:24.520
[SPEAKER_01]: And they're just mentally not ready to deal with whatever the issue you guys have, maybe it's okay sometimes to like,
36:24.500 --> 36:29.428
[SPEAKER_01]: like have an issue and then like go to sleep and then deal with it.
36:29.448 --> 36:32.013
[SPEAKER_01]: Have you had time to process and whatever.
36:32.153 --> 36:33.175
[SPEAKER_00]: Find yes.
36:33.475 --> 36:37.202
[SPEAKER_00]: I listen to my various times where I've gone to bed mad.
36:37.242 --> 36:38.304
[SPEAKER_00]: My wife is going to bed mad.
36:38.324 --> 36:42.711
[SPEAKER_00]: We just woke up in the morning and you know, we just something we look at a chair and we're like, I was dumb.
36:43.383 --> 36:44.785
[SPEAKER_00]: We just like, that was dumb.
36:45.126 --> 36:45.727
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
36:46.107 --> 36:52.318
[SPEAKER_00]: Sometimes you need to get away from the moment that was heated to just go, you know, that's the same worth it, you know.
36:52.798 --> 37:01.112
[SPEAKER_00]: And most of the time when you, you guys care about each other, you just kind of go, you realize there are bigger things in life, bigger than your pride.
37:01.733 --> 37:03.135
[SPEAKER_00]: And that's the biggest thing.
37:03.756 --> 37:04.577
[SPEAKER_00]: Let go of pride.
37:04.638 --> 37:09.846
[SPEAKER_00]: I tell people pride doesn't mean pride hasn't gotten me anything in life.
37:09.910 --> 37:15.102
[SPEAKER_00]: Pride hasn't, I've cashed pride in at Casino's banks everywhere.
37:15.423 --> 37:17.648
[SPEAKER_00]: It has not returned a single dollar in my pocket.
37:18.069 --> 37:22.058
[SPEAKER_00]: It hasn't really seen, it hasn't turned in a single moment of joy in my life.
37:22.900 --> 37:23.241
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
37:23.541 --> 37:25.145
[SPEAKER_01]: I love, I love this.
37:25.165 --> 37:27.530
[SPEAKER_01]: This doesn't go to nuggets over here.
37:27.591 --> 37:29.134
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, it doesn't, it goes.
37:29.114 --> 37:44.722
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay, you can, okay, you can be private and hold a grudge and you can say that's strength or you could say I forgive you and I and I want and I believe that you can be a better person, but I don't you don't need to accept my apology or you don't have to accept my forgiveness.
37:44.942 --> 37:53.738
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm going to forgive you because I don't want to hold the grudge because there's a thing holding a grudge is like taking poison and expecting it to harm the other person.
37:54.140 --> 37:55.562
[SPEAKER_02]: Oh, right.
37:55.922 --> 37:57.844
[SPEAKER_00]: So sometimes you forgive somebody.
37:57.864 --> 37:59.846
[SPEAKER_00]: Don't matter if they said sorry, you just forgive them.
37:59.866 --> 38:01.268
[SPEAKER_00]: Just look, you know, we're good.
38:01.468 --> 38:08.656
[SPEAKER_01]: Well, also I feel like it just ends up like the taking points in part ends up hurting you more than it hurts them most.
38:08.676 --> 38:10.978
[SPEAKER_00]: Like hurt you more, always in the long run.
38:10.998 --> 38:11.879
[SPEAKER_00]: It makes you better.
38:11.939 --> 38:14.362
[SPEAKER_00]: It makes you angrier, it makes you frustrated.
38:14.382 --> 38:16.724
[SPEAKER_00]: And it takes you away from the person that you truly are.
38:17.005 --> 38:17.405
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
38:17.425 --> 38:18.446
[SPEAKER_00]: And that's not who you are.
38:18.626 --> 38:20.368
[SPEAKER_00]: You have to, you're not that type of person.
38:20.488 --> 38:21.109
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
38:21.089 --> 38:28.144
[SPEAKER_00]: It's one of those things, so now let me ask you a question, I hope I'm not just switching gears, what's a core value for you?
38:28.925 --> 38:36.862
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, okay, let me think about this because I've been doing some deep diving, but I'm a little squirrely, so I have to get back there.
38:38.004 --> 38:39.908
[SPEAKER_01]: Let's see.
38:41.592 --> 38:42.874
[SPEAKER_01]: Resoprosity.
38:43.534 --> 38:44.376
[SPEAKER_01]: So, meaning.
38:44.476 --> 38:45.397
[SPEAKER_00]: Is there a dictionary out there?
38:46.318 --> 38:47.239
[SPEAKER_00]: There's a dictionary out there.
38:47.259 --> 38:52.126
[SPEAKER_01]: Dang it, I just, there's a Spanish English one, but I did just donate the dictionary to it.
38:52.146 --> 38:52.726
[SPEAKER_00]: Where is it?
38:52.826 --> 38:53.327
[SPEAKER_00]: Where is it?
38:53.427 --> 38:53.808
[SPEAKER_00]: Where is it?
38:53.828 --> 38:54.549
[SPEAKER_00]: Resoprosity.
38:54.569 --> 38:55.510
[SPEAKER_00]: Resoprosity.
38:55.590 --> 38:56.431
[SPEAKER_01]: Resoprosity.
38:56.531 --> 38:57.392
[SPEAKER_00]: Resoprosity.
38:57.412 --> 38:58.233
[SPEAKER_00]: So, so basically.
38:58.253 --> 39:01.978
[SPEAKER_00]: We put, I want you to, when this episode comes out, I want the definition right here.
39:02.219 --> 39:03.901
[SPEAKER_01]: Why won't I just tell you what I mean by it?
39:04.221 --> 39:04.822
[SPEAKER_00]: Please.
39:05.323 --> 39:06.925
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't know, I don't even know what that word is.
39:06.985 --> 39:09.608
[SPEAKER_00]: My wife, if she, if she wants you watch this, she's gonna be like,
39:09.858 --> 39:11.440
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, like, the word reciprocate?
39:12.461 --> 39:13.182
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, okay.
39:13.683 --> 39:16.587
[SPEAKER_00]: Look at, we're breaking root Latin words down our album.
39:16.687 --> 39:17.688
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, I laughed at, okay.
39:18.049 --> 39:26.320
[SPEAKER_01]: So, but what I mean by that is, you know, I am happy to put an effort, but I want someone who also puts an effort.
39:26.480 --> 39:28.262
[SPEAKER_01]: And like, it's not just me doing everything.
39:28.603 --> 39:29.023
[SPEAKER_01]: Something?
39:29.604 --> 39:30.445
[SPEAKER_01]: I have a dog here, my mouth.
39:30.806 --> 39:31.967
[SPEAKER_01]: Grossing.
39:32.842 --> 39:48.235
[SPEAKER_01]: something that I cannot stand is like when I'm helping my family prepare for a family holiday and my brothers don't do anything and they sit on the couch and watch whatever.
39:48.215 --> 39:53.021
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm sorry, we're all participating in this holiday, you need to help too.
39:53.101 --> 39:54.343
[SPEAKER_01]: It's not just a me thing.
39:54.363 --> 39:57.387
[SPEAKER_01]: It's a we-thing, but in dating, same thing.
39:57.447 --> 40:01.052
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't want to have to plan every single thing and do everything.
40:01.332 --> 40:06.058
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't mind planning some stuff and doing some things, but I want the effort to be matched.
40:06.319 --> 40:08.442
[SPEAKER_01]: It doesn't have to be matched 100% of the time.
40:08.482 --> 40:14.830
[SPEAKER_01]: But you know, let's both put some
40:14.810 --> 40:21.061
[SPEAKER_01]: Doing things for each other and it's not just one person does everything in the other person sits on their butt and does nothing.
40:21.402 --> 40:22.444
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, I can't stand that.
40:22.744 --> 40:26.551
[SPEAKER_00]: No, it's it's it's it's selfish.
40:26.872 --> 40:27.353
[SPEAKER_01]: It is.
40:27.573 --> 40:31.941
[SPEAKER_00]: You're letting one person burn out while you it's like it's like
40:31.921 --> 40:41.211
[SPEAKER_00]: putting your star athlete on the field, not laying them come off when you can also play some plays, but then you guys get to wear the same simple roll ring, but they're burnt out and you just like, yeah, whatever, it's cool.
40:41.751 --> 40:43.253
[SPEAKER_00]: And it burns people out.
40:43.333 --> 40:44.614
[SPEAKER_01]: Literally, it's, yeah.
40:44.634 --> 40:45.956
[SPEAKER_00]: I was gonna say reciprocity.
40:46.216 --> 40:48.919
[SPEAKER_00]: So, going back to this movie.
40:49.479 --> 40:54.985
[SPEAKER_00]: She snuck out and not did her chores, and she had magic to help her and everything.
40:55.025 --> 40:58.789
[SPEAKER_00]: She rusted all who knows of it, the codder doing that, what would have happened?
40:58.769 --> 41:00.070
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, they did, they locked her away.
41:00.110 --> 41:00.551
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
41:00.591 --> 41:03.174
[SPEAKER_00]: So she whisked her freedom, and then what did he do?
41:03.234 --> 41:07.679
[SPEAKER_00]: Reciprocity, he went across the whole nation to find her with the shoe.
41:08.179 --> 41:10.862
[SPEAKER_00]: So they gave 100 to 100, 100 to 100.
41:11.122 --> 41:15.447
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, what my goodness, I love that you keep going back to this movie.
41:15.527 --> 41:16.208
[SPEAKER_01]: This is great.
41:16.428 --> 41:18.430
[SPEAKER_00]: I'll go, no, I love movies.
41:18.470 --> 41:20.813
[SPEAKER_00]: You want me to go deep cut in the funniest way possible?
41:21.393 --> 41:22.014
[SPEAKER_01]: Sure, what?
41:22.114 --> 41:25.318
[SPEAKER_00]: You like, do you, okay, if you were seeing the movie, it came out a long time ago.
41:25.378 --> 41:26.599
[SPEAKER_00]: He's not that into you.
41:26.579 --> 41:29.323
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, there's a dress in there, right?
41:29.343 --> 41:30.004
[SPEAKER_01]: He's just not that.
41:30.064 --> 41:37.214
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, there's a scene and this guy ties back what we said about like different train of boyfriends and husband and the idea of like putting in the effort.
41:37.234 --> 41:40.699
[SPEAKER_00]: There's a scene where and again People were gonna like, did you even watch a football game growing up?
41:40.799 --> 41:41.260
[SPEAKER_00]: No, I did.
41:42.041 --> 41:46.567
[SPEAKER_00]: I watched a lot of checkflicks and I loved it I don't wonder we get along so I wouldn't take it back.
41:46.647 --> 41:49.431
[SPEAKER_00]: I wouldn't take it back one day, anyways
41:49.411 --> 42:01.771
[SPEAKER_00]: There's a scene where Jennifer Aniston's father is sick, and they're all a house taken care of, and the wives are doing everything, but all the husbands are doing nothing, and they're picking at the dad's stuff, and he's going to die, right?
42:02.231 --> 42:02.652
[SPEAKER_00]: Pretty much.
42:03.213 --> 42:09.563
[SPEAKER_00]: And the wives are just content like our husband's suck, and Jennifer Aniston's like, my life is terrible.
42:09.543 --> 42:17.419
[SPEAKER_00]: She got she didn't want she broke up with her boyfriend because the boyfriend didn't want to commit But who was it was a bad affect it was bad affect.
42:17.459 --> 42:30.184
[SPEAKER_01]: I feel like I thought he's just not into was that one with That dude from I'm gonna you're thinking to break up I'm gonna where they can't where they can't get rid of the condo so they divide down the center
42:30.502 --> 42:32.546
[SPEAKER_00]: God, I'm telling you, I am like a dude.
42:32.566 --> 42:34.090
[SPEAKER_01]: You are correct on which movie it is.
42:34.731 --> 42:39.341
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, I'm just remembering one of the, one of the couples I forgot Jennifer Anison was in there.
42:39.361 --> 42:40.523
[SPEAKER_01]: I got to relax it apparently.
42:40.604 --> 42:42.267
[SPEAKER_00]: So my point is,
42:42.348 --> 42:43.951
[SPEAKER_00]: Ben, I have like who is just the boyfriend.
42:44.011 --> 42:50.061
[SPEAKER_00]: He shows up and does everything that a husband was supposed to do because he doesn't need a ring to prove his Yes, that's right.
42:50.442 --> 42:55.431
[SPEAKER_00]: He is willing to give the 100% and she realized that that's what relationship is all about.
42:55.451 --> 42:56.452
[SPEAKER_00]: Recipesity.
42:56.593 --> 42:57.013
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes.
42:57.053 --> 42:59.077
[SPEAKER_00]: Not the ring, not the thing.
42:59.097 --> 43:03.364
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, and I was remembering this chick and this guy, I forget the name.
43:03.384 --> 43:05.588
[SPEAKER_00]: Jennifer Goodwin and Justin Long.
43:05.618 --> 43:08.343
[SPEAKER_01]: So, if you want someone on your trivia team, it's him, not me.
43:08.504 --> 43:15.277
[SPEAKER_00]: Also, I, this is, this is how, like, deep cut again, I told you.
43:15.438 --> 43:21.590
[SPEAKER_01]: It's good, but anyway, yeah, so that's a great movie and thank you for that.
43:21.670 --> 43:22.632
[SPEAKER_01]: I appreciate that.
43:22.612 --> 43:23.754
[SPEAKER_00]: Man, I ask you a question.
43:24.094 --> 43:24.415
[SPEAKER_01]: Always.
43:25.056 --> 43:25.997
[SPEAKER_00]: What is asking?
43:26.057 --> 43:27.399
[SPEAKER_00]: OK, I'm sorry.
43:27.439 --> 43:30.604
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm like, I'm like, let me be very successful.
43:30.624 --> 43:32.506
[SPEAKER_00]: I mean, we're not doing it in carpet.
43:32.566 --> 43:33.328
[SPEAKER_00]: Walk around the table.
43:33.348 --> 43:35.491
[SPEAKER_00]: Then ask you a question.
43:35.511 --> 43:38.255
[SPEAKER_00]: What is a great moment of reciprocity for you?
43:38.395 --> 43:40.538
[SPEAKER_00]: I love how I'm saying that we're like, I knew it the word we're like.
43:40.558 --> 43:44.063
[SPEAKER_01]: I think this is him just trying to act like a therapist.
43:44.043 --> 43:46.468
[SPEAKER_01]: Maybe it is.
43:46.488 --> 43:47.290
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay, let me take it.
43:47.310 --> 43:50.336
[SPEAKER_00]: Don't hit the camera, don't hit the camera, don't hit the camera, don't hit the camera.
43:50.837 --> 43:52.641
[SPEAKER_00]: I grabbed it and it turned into tug-a-war.
43:52.701 --> 43:54.645
[SPEAKER_01]: Tell me are you flustered.
43:54.665 --> 43:55.046
[SPEAKER_01]: Anyway.
43:55.086 --> 43:55.868
[SPEAKER_01]: All right.
43:56.048 --> 43:57.291
[SPEAKER_01]: I like to call him a mother.
43:57.311 --> 43:57.952
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, really quickly.
43:58.133 --> 43:58.373
[SPEAKER_00]: What?
43:58.514 --> 44:00.017
[SPEAKER_00]: I was playing because of the audio.
44:00.698 --> 44:02.963
[SPEAKER_00]: I was playing tug-a-war with a dog by accident.
44:02.943 --> 44:03.865
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, that's okay.
44:03.905 --> 44:05.908
[SPEAKER_00]: No one thinks that I was tug of war in your arm.
44:06.048 --> 44:08.212
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, why is he pulling on a player's arm?
44:08.232 --> 44:08.933
[SPEAKER_00]: Is this guy a secret?
44:08.953 --> 44:10.976
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, yeah, Archie is a mother fluffer.
44:11.057 --> 44:11.718
[SPEAKER_01]: That's for sure.
44:12.659 --> 44:15.003
[SPEAKER_00]: So, anyway, anyway, you're a thing.
44:17.067 --> 44:18.409
[SPEAKER_01]: Uh, like an example of reciprocity.
44:18.449 --> 44:24.239
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, something that someone, something that someone did for you or the effort they put in for you that stuck with you.
44:24.259 --> 44:29.187
[SPEAKER_00]: And you, and you, when now you're like, that is an example I want.
44:29.167 --> 44:29.848
[SPEAKER_00]: Done.
44:29.888 --> 44:30.989
[SPEAKER_00]: That's, that's what it should be.
44:31.289 --> 44:31.650
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay.
44:31.890 --> 44:48.768
[SPEAKER_01]: So I don't, I'm trying to think of a specific example, but like the guy that I dated that was the best boyfriend I've ever had just based on how well he treated me and whatnot, which mind you, it wasn't like he wasn't spending a billion dollars on me.
44:48.788 --> 44:57.537
[SPEAKER_01]: We were in high school, which is depressing to me to think that it's been since high school since
44:58.782 --> 45:02.728
[SPEAKER_01]: I would randomly like pick up a thing I worked at the craft store Michaels.
45:02.949 --> 45:06.534
[SPEAKER_01]: I would pick up a thing for him there or do whatever they're he would show up.
45:06.554 --> 45:07.255
[SPEAKER_01]: He worked at Krugger.
45:07.316 --> 45:11.302
[SPEAKER_01]: He would show up with these muffins and he would be like, oh, these looked good in the bakery.
45:11.342 --> 45:12.644
[SPEAKER_01]: I thought you might want to try some.
45:13.185 --> 45:13.966
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, that's awesome.
45:13.986 --> 45:16.470
[SPEAKER_01]: How just nice and thoughtful.
45:16.535 --> 45:18.639
[SPEAKER_00]: It's little things like that.
45:18.799 --> 45:21.864
[SPEAKER_00]: It's not giant gestures, it's not gestures.
45:22.165 --> 45:26.693
[SPEAKER_00]: It's not buying a car, it's not a vacation in Maui.
45:27.294 --> 45:32.042
[SPEAKER_00]: It's simple things, it's when you were at the getting gas.
45:32.083 --> 45:36.751
[SPEAKER_00]: You notice when you were paying the gas to her favorite candy is right there.
45:36.791 --> 45:39.015
[SPEAKER_00]: And she's been having a shit day at work.
45:39.035 --> 45:40.838
[SPEAKER_00]: And you could just simply grab it and give it to her.
45:41.071 --> 45:48.598
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm not saying that everything has to be as low as that, but I'm just saying little things, doing little things like that, it's not a full thing.
45:48.718 --> 45:50.000
[SPEAKER_00]: It's not a full thing.
45:50.941 --> 45:51.821
[SPEAKER_00]: You try to do that.
45:52.502 --> 45:57.987
[SPEAKER_00]: For example, I remember my wife, she loves Stephen King book.
45:58.007 --> 45:59.949
[SPEAKER_00]: She likes one of the first editions.
46:00.270 --> 46:08.497
[SPEAKER_00]: And there's a whole entire thing with learning the first edition book and then the readers' club book, which kind of comes out during the first edition, but it's not true first edition.
46:09.438 --> 46:10.099
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay.
46:10.079 --> 46:10.840
[SPEAKER_00]: book reader.
46:11.400 --> 46:14.463
[SPEAKER_00]: I did a lot of tapes.
46:15.204 --> 46:21.029
[SPEAKER_00]: Um, but I learned how to read the publication notes and everything to find those researched it.
46:21.510 --> 46:27.315
[SPEAKER_00]: It took me time to be a master of this, but I can now find those books faster for her and I get them as gifts whenever I can.
46:27.475 --> 46:32.940
[SPEAKER_00]: When I'm around the road, I see a dime bookstore where I'm not, I'll go in there and ask if they find those books for her.
46:32.960 --> 46:33.821
[SPEAKER_01]: That's so nice.
46:33.841 --> 46:36.964
[SPEAKER_00]: It takes an extra second and I come home to the road and have a book for her to read.
46:37.113 --> 46:39.796
[SPEAKER_01]: Can I tell you a story that popped into my head?
46:39.836 --> 46:40.717
[SPEAKER_01]: Please.
46:40.737 --> 46:41.197
[SPEAKER_01]: OK.
46:41.217 --> 46:43.279
[SPEAKER_01]: So this guy I dated in high school.
46:44.560 --> 46:48.124
[SPEAKER_01]: There was, there was this like Sadie Hawkins answer.
46:48.144 --> 46:50.667
[SPEAKER_01]: Some kind of winter formal that the girls were supposed to ask the guys.
46:51.247 --> 46:56.092
[SPEAKER_01]: And so I did, I asked him, he has my high school boyfriend, whatever, so he's who I wanted to go with.
46:56.853 --> 47:04.200
[SPEAKER_01]: And so I was like, yeah, but I have to get dinner because like he was pretty silver-riss
47:04.180 --> 47:11.669
[SPEAKER_01]: So he's like, okay, but only if we go to Taco Bell, and I'm like, okay, fine, whatever.
47:13.131 --> 47:15.434
[SPEAKER_01]: Like, I worked my minimum wage job at my ankles.
47:15.494 --> 47:18.137
[SPEAKER_01]: I could have done better than Taco Bell.
47:18.157 --> 47:22.342
[SPEAKER_01]: Maybe not by much, maybe not by much, but so we went to Taco Bell.
47:22.362 --> 47:25.446
[SPEAKER_01]: So while I was paying for our food and grabbing the tray,
47:25.612 --> 47:31.260
[SPEAKER_01]: I went to look for him after I walked away, and I found him at the table.
47:31.601 --> 47:39.813
[SPEAKER_01]: He had put on a tablecloth, candlesticks, flowers, he made Taco Bell a romantic dinner.
47:41.335 --> 47:46.342
[SPEAKER_01]: How freaking adorable and inexpensive is that he borrowed all that stuff, probably from his mom.
47:46.482 --> 47:47.183
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
47:47.624 --> 47:47.704
[UNKNOWN]: Like
47:47.684 --> 48:03.786
[SPEAKER_01]: literally it was just a thoughtful gesture and like I'm like oh my gosh that was said like I'm sort of teary right now thinking about that because it was so nice like that's genuinely what a good man will do in my opinion.
48:03.833 --> 48:07.739
[SPEAKER_00]: you take the ordinary and you just put a little extra work into it and it's extraordinary.
48:07.759 --> 48:09.862
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, and it doesn't take a lot of effort usually.
48:09.902 --> 48:16.372
[SPEAKER_01]: It takes a few brain cells and then it maybe text your mom or some woman in your life that has those things.
48:16.392 --> 48:17.293
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, that's it.
48:17.433 --> 48:18.154
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
48:18.835 --> 48:22.541
[SPEAKER_00]: I'll give you a good example I did, all right.
48:22.661 --> 48:26.347
[SPEAKER_00]: So there's a back patio where I'm living, right?
48:26.727 --> 48:27.148
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay.
48:27.168 --> 48:32.676
[SPEAKER_00]: And I snuck out there and I set it up for her birthday and everything.
48:32.656 --> 48:37.825
[SPEAKER_00]: So she doesn't know I'm home yet, because I was coming home from work for being super quiet because I have two dogs in the neighborhood.
48:38.185 --> 48:39.808
[SPEAKER_00]: I set the whole thing up all the way up.
48:39.828 --> 48:46.360
[SPEAKER_00]: And then I go, I go, I go into the house and everything and she has no idea about the fact back patio.
48:46.600 --> 48:49.805
[SPEAKER_00]: And then I just fainted and then drew, like, can you just take the dogs out real quickly for me, please?
48:50.226 --> 48:51.208
[SPEAKER_00]: And she had been the door and it was that.
48:51.288 --> 48:52.470
[SPEAKER_00]: And it was a Thursday.
48:52.450 --> 48:54.254
[SPEAKER_00]: It wasn't something special was anything crazy.
48:54.274 --> 49:08.282
[SPEAKER_00]: I mean, it was a birthday, but it was we were going to do something on Saturday for it But I wanted to let her know like hey, I'm not just banking Saturday for the date night for your birthday Let's do something a little small tonight to celebrate your actual birthday And then we'll do something big on the week and how to react
49:08.262 --> 49:09.966
[SPEAKER_00]: She was flabbergast.
49:09.986 --> 49:10.467
[SPEAKER_00]: She was shocked.
49:10.487 --> 49:11.950
[SPEAKER_00]: She was like, how the heck did you go here?
49:11.970 --> 49:13.353
[SPEAKER_00]: How did you speak past?
49:13.413 --> 49:14.937
[SPEAKER_00]: How did the dogs not see you and all the stuff?
49:14.957 --> 49:15.879
[SPEAKER_00]: And I was like, I'm very quiet.
49:17.763 --> 49:26.963
[SPEAKER_00]: She was then noticing that my shoes weren't muddy and my socks were soaking wet because I was walking through stopping things just so that I wouldn't make any squishy noises.
49:26.943 --> 49:28.445
[SPEAKER_02]: Oh, my.
49:28.465 --> 49:35.716
[SPEAKER_00]: So I, and I wasn't thinking it through, maybe I could have just took my socks off and then I have softening socks, but it was, it was in the moment I was thinking quickly and fast.
49:35.736 --> 49:37.138
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm not the brightest person in the world.
49:37.459 --> 49:45.912
[SPEAKER_00]: But I basically snuck behind the pat, where our patio was, said a whole thing, I'll kind background, came home from work, and then yeah, that's cute.
49:46.473 --> 49:50.038
[SPEAKER_00]: But in, and she's done a lot of stuff for me like that, you know, too.
49:50.158 --> 49:53.423
[SPEAKER_00]: She, you know, what she'll do is, um,
49:54.095 --> 49:55.799
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm glad you mentioned this because I want to know.
49:55.819 --> 50:09.014
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh yeah, like what like sometimes what you'll do is should I say something in the dryer can you grab it and chop something away from you in the dryer and be like an object or something or something just simple as that or hey, I spoiled you get the package and open it up.
50:09.054 --> 50:09.555
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I mean.
50:09.535 --> 50:15.022
[SPEAKER_01]: So ladies and gents, clearly it's not that hard to be kind to your significant other.
50:15.322 --> 50:15.823
[SPEAKER_00]: It's not.
50:15.843 --> 50:17.025
[SPEAKER_01]: And put some effort in.
50:17.045 --> 50:17.906
[SPEAKER_00]: It's not.
50:17.966 --> 50:19.247
[SPEAKER_00]: And like I said, it's not yet.
50:19.327 --> 50:21.731
[SPEAKER_00]: It's not something it's spent billions of millions of dollars on.
50:21.771 --> 50:24.414
[SPEAKER_00]: Something you can just be like five dollars here, ten dollars here.
50:25.015 --> 50:26.316
[SPEAKER_00]: Just let the person know.
50:26.777 --> 50:28.019
[SPEAKER_00]: Let the person know do something.
50:28.039 --> 50:31.543
[SPEAKER_00]: You can then break him in flowers, which is pretty expensive and expensive.
50:31.523 --> 50:32.985
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, go to Trader Joe's.
50:33.005 --> 50:33.986
[SPEAKER_01]: I think they're really cheap there.
50:34.086 --> 50:40.234
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, it's it's little thoughts like that because like that's what it's it's all the little moment.
50:40.294 --> 50:42.277
[SPEAKER_00]: It's like it's like a bunch of drops of water.
50:42.778 --> 50:45.321
[SPEAKER_00]: You know a bunch of those fill a bucket eventually.
50:46.002 --> 50:48.705
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, that's what that's what love is.
50:48.846 --> 50:52.030
[SPEAKER_00]: It's a bucket of water.
50:52.050 --> 50:53.852
[SPEAKER_01]: Let's get that made out of shirt for you.
50:53.912 --> 50:55.735
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, love is a bucket of water.
50:55.795 --> 50:56.856
[SPEAKER_00]: They're like, what?
50:58.135 --> 51:00.058
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I don't got nothing for Cinderella.
51:00.078 --> 51:01.340
[SPEAKER_00]: I was looking at me like, don't use us.
51:02.682 --> 51:03.544
[SPEAKER_01]: That's so funny.
51:03.644 --> 51:03.924
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay.
51:04.185 --> 51:07.911
[SPEAKER_01]: So side note, I feel like I don't know exactly how long we've been recording.
51:07.971 --> 51:13.119
[SPEAKER_01]: But I feel like we got to wrap up in like 10 minutes, fish, you maybe we're happy to be one.
51:13.340 --> 51:13.540
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
51:13.560 --> 51:19.029
[SPEAKER_01]: So, but so what are things that you definitely want to make sure we talk about today?
51:19.049 --> 51:21.713
[SPEAKER_01]: Because we obviously are amazing at going off on tangent.
51:21.693 --> 51:23.736
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, we are amazing at it.
51:23.937 --> 51:31.910
[SPEAKER_00]: And I guess what we could talk about is like, so we could talk about dating maybe like, is what I like to do?
51:32.050 --> 51:32.851
[SPEAKER_00]: And this is what I do.
51:33.192 --> 51:33.492
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay.
51:33.572 --> 51:37.118
[SPEAKER_00]: A lot of my strong friends will come to me and ask me for like dating advice.
51:37.138 --> 51:39.702
[SPEAKER_00]: Dating advice, but like also going on double dates.
51:39.802 --> 51:40.203
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay.
51:40.223 --> 51:42.587
[SPEAKER_00]: Cause like, okay, so like, here's what happened.
51:42.567 --> 51:50.229
[SPEAKER_00]: My wife had a friend, and what she would do is she would date a guy, and then she's like, all right, I need you to see if she's cool.
51:50.550 --> 51:53.679
[SPEAKER_00]: And we were going to double date, and I would step it out, see if he's a douche-man.
51:53.699 --> 51:55.043
[SPEAKER_01]: And stuff like that.
51:55.063 --> 51:57.049
[SPEAKER_01]: And has she since gotten married enough?
51:57.637 --> 51:59.600
[SPEAKER_00]: Uh, my wife's not friends with this person anymore.
52:00.582 --> 52:00.883
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, yeah.
52:01.404 --> 52:03.047
[SPEAKER_00]: This person is making bad decisions.
52:03.768 --> 52:05.952
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay, so just with dating or other things.
52:06.553 --> 52:07.014
[SPEAKER_00]: Other things.
52:07.094 --> 52:07.815
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay.
52:07.895 --> 52:10.901
[SPEAKER_00]: I remember she had one time we were on this date double date.
52:11.081 --> 52:12.584
[SPEAKER_00]: And like, I get done with those guys.
52:12.604 --> 52:13.485
[SPEAKER_00]: I was like a piece of shit.
52:13.505 --> 52:15.208
[SPEAKER_00]: Like I would pay for my wife.
52:15.228 --> 52:16.490
[SPEAKER_00]: And he wouldn't pay for her.
52:17.492 --> 52:19.015
[SPEAKER_00]: So what I did was I paid for her.
52:19.175 --> 52:20.758
[SPEAKER_00]: And I pissed him off.
52:21.869 --> 52:24.272
[SPEAKER_02]: Ooh, that's so funny.
52:24.292 --> 52:27.116
[SPEAKER_00]: And my wife was like, way, way of hugs me and she whiskers my ears.
52:27.557 --> 52:28.979
[SPEAKER_02]: You're a son of a bitch.
52:28.999 --> 52:33.245
[SPEAKER_01]: And I'm like, I know.
52:33.265 --> 52:49.767
[SPEAKER_01]: Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
52:49.747 --> 52:51.174
[SPEAKER_01]: That's kind of a dick move.
52:51.194 --> 52:54.028
[SPEAKER_00]: He touched her in the middle of a double date.
52:54.048 --> 52:54.571
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, all right.
52:55.134 --> 52:56.601
[SPEAKER_00]: So you got the soda.
52:58.538 --> 53:00.601
[SPEAKER_00]: I got the soda.
53:00.621 --> 53:05.468
[SPEAKER_00]: I got the chicken, I'm like, oh my god.
53:05.608 --> 53:07.911
[SPEAKER_01]: That guy would be embarrassing to be on a double date.
53:07.931 --> 53:08.552
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, it would be.
53:08.792 --> 53:15.161
[SPEAKER_00]: But I guess what I'm asking is like, let's talk about like, we can talk about some red flags.
53:15.181 --> 53:16.163
[SPEAKER_00]: We can talk about stuff.
53:16.183 --> 53:17.284
[SPEAKER_00]: People should be on the lookout for.
53:17.364 --> 53:22.151
[SPEAKER_00]: We can talk about that or stuff that you've seen before, stuff like, oh, something for that.
53:22.251 --> 53:25.596
[SPEAKER_01]: What are red flags that you've seen on these double dates besides that guy?
53:26.056 --> 53:26.737
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, red, okay.
53:26.757 --> 53:28.039
[SPEAKER_01]: For that specific thing.
53:28.188 --> 53:30.392
[SPEAKER_00]: Simply just can't open the door for somebody.
53:31.093 --> 53:32.636
[SPEAKER_00]: It's simple shit like that.
53:32.656 --> 53:45.639
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah The phone and I I One biggest rules and this is I'm reinstated with my wife because I had a bad habit of doing this I would always have we would talk and have to take fun right here now the phone goes over here.
53:46.280 --> 53:46.821
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay
53:46.801 --> 53:50.846
[SPEAKER_00]: I, I, I full connection conversation.
53:51.147 --> 53:51.567
[SPEAKER_01]: Yes.
53:51.587 --> 53:57.896
[SPEAKER_00]: Because anytime that phone vibrates and I'm looking down at it, imagine if, yeah, imagine on a date, let's say you and I were on date, right?
53:58.336 --> 53:59.097
[SPEAKER_00]: We're talking, right?
53:59.197 --> 53:59.438
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
54:00.359 --> 54:02.822
[SPEAKER_00]: Mm, I'm disconnected from you.
54:03.102 --> 54:04.484
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, that's true.
54:04.584 --> 54:12.054
[SPEAKER_00]: Let's say you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you got all dolled up ready to go make up and everything you look on fire, great, right?
54:12.735 --> 54:14.277
[SPEAKER_00]: And then all of a sudden, ah,
54:15.488 --> 54:17.152
[SPEAKER_00]: it takes the wind out of anybody.
54:17.312 --> 54:30.363
[SPEAKER_00]: It does because what what you're if you if I can't hold your attention and a little vibration of a phone because someone tweeted something and you need to read it right now and look at it and scroll while we're talking.
54:30.423 --> 54:30.985
[SPEAKER_00]: You know what I mean?
54:31.085 --> 54:31.185
[UNKNOWN]: Like.
54:31.317 --> 54:34.443
[SPEAKER_01]: So dating advice 101, at least have it on do not disturb.
54:34.483 --> 54:35.445
[SPEAKER_01]: Do not disturb.
54:35.725 --> 54:43.259
[SPEAKER_01]: And you know, it's okay if it's on the table or something, but like, have it flipped down, so you don't see the screen notifications popping up.
54:43.479 --> 54:47.487
[SPEAKER_01]: Now, if you have something going on, we're like, okay, look, my mom's been in the hospital.
54:47.747 --> 54:51.053
[SPEAKER_01]: That's definitely whatever, but most normal people would be fine with that.
54:51.534 --> 54:53.798
[SPEAKER_00]: Mom, call Alex, she'll drive you.
54:53.838 --> 54:55.401
[SPEAKER_00]: Anyways, how are you doing tonight?
54:58.030 --> 55:03.959
[SPEAKER_00]: That's the power move, let them know that my mother is not important, ah.
55:03.979 --> 55:05.261
[SPEAKER_01]: Right, right.
55:05.281 --> 55:05.741
[SPEAKER_00]: Right, right.
55:05.801 --> 55:06.222
[SPEAKER_00]: Right, right.
55:06.743 --> 55:07.003
[SPEAKER_01]: Right, right.
55:07.023 --> 55:08.145
[SPEAKER_01]: Right, right.
55:08.605 --> 55:09.747
[SPEAKER_01]: Right, right.
55:10.088 --> 55:11.409
[SPEAKER_01]: Right, right.
55:11.510 --> 55:12.371
[SPEAKER_01]: Right, right.
55:12.391 --> 55:14.834
[SPEAKER_01]: Right, right.
55:14.854 --> 55:15.395
[SPEAKER_01]: Right, right.
55:15.515 --> 55:16.517
[SPEAKER_01]: Right, right.
55:16.537 --> 55:17.138
[SPEAKER_01]: Right, right.
55:17.158 --> 55:18.660
[SPEAKER_01]: Right, right.
55:18.740 --> 55:19.421
[SPEAKER_01]: Right, right.
55:19.481 --> 55:20.262
[SPEAKER_01]: Right, right.
55:20.322 --> 55:21.224
[SPEAKER_01]: Right, right.
55:21.244 --> 55:22.045
[SPEAKER_01]: Right, right.
55:22.065 --> 55:22.866
[SPEAKER_01]: Right, right.
55:22.886 --> 55:23.267
[SPEAKER_01]: Right, right.
55:23.427 --> 55:24.348
[SPEAKER_01]: Right, right.
55:24.569 --> 55:25.089
[SPEAKER_01]: Right, right.
55:25.109 --> 55:25.590
[SPEAKER_01]: Right, right.
55:26.060 --> 55:28.023
[SPEAKER_00]: They would treat her like that how they're going to treat you.
55:28.364 --> 55:34.994
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, and what's the next shiny thing or whatever that you're going to prioritize over me in the future because that's a thing.
55:35.255 --> 55:37.779
[SPEAKER_01]: That's a red flag for me if they don't if I'm not prioritized.
55:38.380 --> 55:41.284
[SPEAKER_01]: But I don't want to be in a relationship if I don't feel like a priority.
55:41.685 --> 55:43.107
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, it's fair.
55:43.087 --> 56:02.800
[SPEAKER_01]: The last several months relationship I was in, that guy told me, because I'd let him know like at the beginning, I need to be a priority if we're going to date, and he clearly showed me with his actions, even though he said at the beginning he'd make me a priority, he showed me with his actions later that I was not one.
56:02.960 --> 56:05.023
[SPEAKER_00]: Let me ask you this, what is a priority for you?
56:05.164 --> 56:07.828
[SPEAKER_00]: Like what is making you a priority?
56:08.112 --> 56:24.265
[SPEAKER_01]: I mean, considering me in some version of plan making, we don't have to hang out every day, but considering me and what's going on with me in general if we're gonna be doing something.
56:24.245 --> 56:30.553
[SPEAKER_01]: making sure that, you know, we do have some level of consistency of whatever dating looks like.
56:30.813 --> 56:31.334
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, yeah.
56:31.454 --> 56:47.674
[SPEAKER_01]: It could be, you know, we hang out, we go get an ice cream cone, or we walk my dog, or we do something, but like, I need some level of consistent in-ish communication and consistent quality time, like quality time is such a big thing.
56:47.694 --> 56:48.635
[SPEAKER_00]: No, it is, it is.
56:49.376 --> 56:52.159
[SPEAKER_00]: You're sharing a part of
56:52.274 --> 56:53.075
[SPEAKER_00]: And you beat that.
56:53.396 --> 56:54.558
[SPEAKER_00]: And yeah, no.
56:55.881 --> 57:04.998
[SPEAKER_00]: Because like I know there are people like they'll like ghost their significant other for a day or two and then drop back on the radar like nothing happened.
57:05.018 --> 57:08.284
[SPEAKER_00]: I've seen that and I'm like, no, they worry about you.
57:09.245 --> 57:10.428
[SPEAKER_00]: Like 48 hours.
57:10.468 --> 57:12.291
[SPEAKER_00]: That's a missing person.
57:12.271 --> 57:14.117
[SPEAKER_00]: That's true.
57:14.177 --> 57:16.887
[SPEAKER_00]: That's a missing person by police standard.
57:16.907 --> 57:24.492
[SPEAKER_00]: So it's like, I think sometimes, and I call that shelving somebody.
57:24.877 --> 57:26.940
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, yeah, I'm gonna put him over here.
57:27.621 --> 57:31.648
[SPEAKER_00]: All right, now I'm gonna go live my life and I expect them to be right here when I get back.
57:31.668 --> 57:47.593
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, I was watching this dude, I forget his name, but he's some millionaire or something that just went to China and he could teach dating things and on Instagram and he calls people out on their BS and he's like,
57:47.894 --> 57:59.068
[SPEAKER_01]: Some girl I think asked him like what do I do if this guy like doesn't have time for me He's like basically You have time for a second boyfriend
57:59.150 --> 58:12.304
[SPEAKER_01]: And I'm like, honestly true, and I bet you whoever that guy is that's not making you somewhat of a priority, he would be pretty pissed if he knew that you were dating some other guy.
58:12.364 --> 58:24.297
[SPEAKER_01]: And he's probably creating a double standard or becoming a hypocrite or something because who knows he might be dating someone else in his spare time, which is why he's not making time for you.
58:24.277 --> 58:28.587
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, and also, here's the thing, no one has time anymore.
58:28.808 --> 58:30.412
[SPEAKER_00]: Let's just throw that out there real quickly.
58:30.873 --> 58:34.442
[SPEAKER_00]: Nobody has time anymore for anything.
58:35.163 --> 58:36.126
[UNKNOWN]: You have to make it.
58:36.567 --> 58:37.088
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
58:37.253 --> 58:39.575
[SPEAKER_00]: It's not, it is a finite thing.
58:39.635 --> 58:43.820
[SPEAKER_00]: It's sometimes something you have to create out of thin air.
58:44.741 --> 58:44.821
[SPEAKER_00]: Yep.
58:44.841 --> 58:48.104
[SPEAKER_00]: But that is the prioritizing someone.
58:48.124 --> 58:49.265
[SPEAKER_00]: That's the consideration.
58:49.366 --> 58:51.468
[SPEAKER_00]: That's the, the making the effort.
58:51.628 --> 58:53.430
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I'm going to figure out how to do this.
58:53.790 --> 58:56.113
[SPEAKER_00]: You, your, your boyfriend was working at Crogoury.
58:56.133 --> 58:57.314
[SPEAKER_00]: You were working at Michael's.
58:57.354 --> 58:58.275
[SPEAKER_00]: You were working at the same time.
58:58.555 --> 59:00.938
[SPEAKER_00]: But he looked at those muffins and thoughts, you know what, those look good.
59:01.018 --> 59:02.299
[SPEAKER_00]: I bet Blair would like some.
59:02.279 --> 59:05.045
[SPEAKER_00]: That's that's the making of the time right there.
59:05.346 --> 59:10.759
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, because he could just want to like I have my work She'll work him and and we're good on top of this.
59:11.120 --> 59:16.452
[SPEAKER_01]: This is going a little bit beyond dating to just friendships Prioritize spending time with your friends.
59:16.793 --> 59:17.655
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, yeah, to me
59:17.635 --> 59:19.478
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm willing to make you a priority.
59:19.558 --> 59:25.007
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm willing to put you in my calendar I'm not unless I'm ill in the hospital or something.
59:25.087 --> 59:28.873
[SPEAKER_01]: I just I literally can't do it I'm going to make sure that that's happening.
59:28.933 --> 59:34.902
[SPEAKER_01]: That's a priority in my day because I get pissed when people bail on me last minute because
59:34.882 --> 59:36.625
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't feel like it today.
59:36.866 --> 59:54.898
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, I hate, I can't stand that because people don't understand like sometimes you have been building your whole day to function around to get to this point because you care about that person and then they just throw it out like like trash and they don't realize how they think like, oh, they're probably relieved and it's like, no, they were probably excited to see you.
59:55.047 --> 59:55.728
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
59:55.808 --> 59:59.414
[SPEAKER_00]: And they put a lot of effort, they move things around to make this happen.
59:59.554 --> 01:00:00.896
[SPEAKER_00]: Yep.
01:00:01.016 --> 01:00:05.343
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, and again, that's a whole thinking and more rather thinking of how you're making somebody else feel.
01:00:05.363 --> 01:00:11.372
[SPEAKER_00]: Because if it's like when you hurt somebody, it's not about whether you think you hurt them.
01:00:11.693 --> 01:00:13.756
[SPEAKER_00]: It's, are they hurt or not?
01:00:14.457 --> 01:00:17.562
[SPEAKER_00]: And if they are, then you have to look into that.
01:00:17.842 --> 01:00:18.523
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
01:00:18.503 --> 01:00:28.719
[SPEAKER_00]: And, and I think sometimes people like to ignore that because they they think, well, if I admit to being wrong, then that that's a weakness or whatever, that there's something wrong with no, just a big thing wrong.
01:00:28.799 --> 01:00:29.239
[SPEAKER_00]: It's okay.
01:00:29.259 --> 01:00:29.680
[SPEAKER_00]: You're human.
01:00:30.041 --> 01:00:30.541
[SPEAKER_00]: We're all wrong.
01:00:30.641 --> 01:00:31.443
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm wrong all the time.
01:00:31.783 --> 01:00:32.104
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay.
01:00:32.324 --> 01:00:32.705
[SPEAKER_00]: All time.
01:00:32.825 --> 01:00:33.606
[SPEAKER_01]: Opinion question.
01:00:33.766 --> 01:00:34.267
[SPEAKER_00]: Let's go for it.
01:00:35.849 --> 01:00:40.296
[SPEAKER_01]: How do you feel like, like, let's say you have a single friend.
01:00:40.456 --> 01:00:41.218
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay.
01:00:41.238 --> 01:00:46.165
[SPEAKER_01]: And, or maybe your wife does he or she, um, they're like,
01:00:47.208 --> 01:01:04.077
[SPEAKER_01]: I, I won't make plans with you because I might end up having a date that day, and but you're like I need I want to spend quality time with my friend like why can't my friend like pick me in that situation why can't we make a plan why can't they just pick another time to have that date.
01:01:04.918 --> 01:01:07.022
[SPEAKER_01]: Hmm, like like what are your thoughts on that.
01:01:07.002 --> 01:01:08.684
[SPEAKER_00]: So let me make sure I got that.
01:01:08.724 --> 01:01:15.313
[SPEAKER_00]: So she's your time at someone who might be prioritizing the person they're dating over their own friends.
01:01:15.473 --> 01:01:17.275
[SPEAKER_01]: And sometimes someone they've never been out with.
01:01:17.936 --> 01:01:18.276
[SPEAKER_00]: Got it.
01:01:18.637 --> 01:01:21.300
[SPEAKER_00]: In that case, look, you have to have a healthy balance.
01:01:21.420 --> 01:01:27.508
[SPEAKER_00]: You, because at the end of the day, nobody wants to date somebody who's like, I'm all about you.
01:01:27.792 --> 01:01:41.346
[SPEAKER_00]: And I got blinders on and it's like, no, you want someone who has a life who has a life that they can share with you They're not asking you to sacrifice your life so you can just go tunnel vision on a person That's not nobody wants that.
01:01:42.247 --> 01:01:42.507
[SPEAKER_00]: Mm-hmm.
01:01:42.527 --> 01:01:53.158
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, like I said at there's times where yeah If you can you can reschedule a date on somebody I'm not saying to blow them like here's the thing There's there was between blowing someone off last second and then maybe it's a day or two on the cake
01:01:53.425 --> 01:01:57.274
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, my plan's got a little bit old wonky, I really want to make this happen.
01:01:57.294 --> 01:02:01.143
[SPEAKER_00]: He's got a sweet text, maybe a flower, and then let's do Saturday.
01:02:01.764 --> 01:02:04.209
[SPEAKER_00]: And then it's like, oh, okay, yeah, something like that.
01:02:04.270 --> 01:02:05.031
[SPEAKER_00]: Be creative.
01:02:05.132 --> 01:02:10.624
[SPEAKER_00]: I mean, sometimes having to reschedule is an opportunity to show how sweet you are.
01:02:10.688 --> 01:02:14.034
[SPEAKER_00]: Sometimes, sometimes a struggle can help you.
01:02:14.595 --> 01:02:21.547
[SPEAKER_00]: And hang out with your friends, be with your friends, because it's healthier, you're more relaxed, it's relationships.
01:02:21.587 --> 01:02:25.494
[SPEAKER_00]: We're a relationship-based creature.
01:02:25.715 --> 01:02:29.862
[SPEAKER_00]: Here, my point is, in prison, the worst thing they can do to you,
01:02:29.842 --> 01:02:31.746
[SPEAKER_00]: put you in solitary confinement.
01:02:31.806 --> 01:02:36.655
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes, that is the punishment that they can give you.
01:02:37.356 --> 01:02:43.527
[SPEAKER_00]: So don't isolate yourself, you know, and also your friends have good insight, because sometimes let's face it.
01:02:43.748 --> 01:02:48.376
[SPEAKER_00]: Me sometimes we run red flags or red like red lights.
01:02:48.396 --> 01:02:49.318
[SPEAKER_00]: We just go,
01:02:50.260 --> 01:03:10.463
[SPEAKER_00]: sometimes they need it there like hey buddy he keeps asking for money from you all the time man or or hey he still hangs out with his ex too much doesn't he or you know like like there's these things but you know because we want that person to be perfect and we want to project the goodness in them sometimes we overlook it because
01:03:10.443 --> 01:03:11.605
[SPEAKER_00]: I look at it like this.
01:03:11.785 --> 01:03:16.371
[SPEAKER_00]: It's like when you play video games here in the lobby, I'm a nerd.
01:03:16.391 --> 01:03:19.335
[SPEAKER_00]: So the lobby is like before you go into the live, okay?
01:03:19.356 --> 01:03:19.496
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay.
01:03:19.636 --> 01:03:20.657
[SPEAKER_00]: Everybody else.
01:03:21.278 --> 01:03:26.706
[SPEAKER_00]: Not everybody is playing with the same honor and stuff that you are.
01:03:26.966 --> 01:03:30.191
[SPEAKER_00]: There are people in the dating world that are looking to find there for ever person.
01:03:31.052 --> 01:03:33.495
[SPEAKER_00]: There are people who are looking for someone for right now.
01:03:34.096 --> 01:03:34.997
[SPEAKER_00]: There are people there.
01:03:35.078 --> 01:03:36.500
[SPEAKER_00]: Just don't want to get married.
01:03:36.520 --> 01:03:40.365
[SPEAKER_00]: They just want to have fun.
01:03:40.345 --> 01:04:08.732
[SPEAKER_00]: we all go into this the same dating interaction with different intentions and we're not always honest about those intentions of what we want and sometimes we're lying to each other so sometimes it's a game of trying to figure out okay do you want the same thing I want and that's what makes this thing so hard as my communication honesty and being reciprocated about everything that's so important and that's why you look for those red flags because those red flags are going to tell you like
01:04:08.712 --> 01:04:18.786
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, is this somebody who actually cares about me or is this just a line he says that he can get me to feel a certain way and that he can get the thing he wants because he knows how to work somebody's emotions.
01:04:19.267 --> 01:04:21.029
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, and usually it's just sex that he wants.
01:04:21.350 --> 01:04:21.790
[SPEAKER_01]: Exactly.
01:04:21.830 --> 01:04:22.431
[SPEAKER_01]: It's very annoying.
01:04:22.672 --> 01:04:24.134
[SPEAKER_00]: And it's terrible.
01:04:24.354 --> 01:04:29.141
[SPEAKER_00]: And then that sort of damage that that damage we carry it into our next relationship.
01:04:29.461 --> 01:04:33.066
[SPEAKER_00]: And then, and like I said, we're humans.
01:04:33.046 --> 01:04:38.335
[SPEAKER_00]: We respond to a certain bad thing or a trauma like any animal in the jungle.
01:04:38.716 --> 01:04:45.928
[SPEAKER_00]: If we know that in the tall grass, there's lions that can kill us and love is located in the tall grasses.
01:04:46.790 --> 01:04:48.392
[SPEAKER_00]: We're going to be very nervous.
01:04:48.412 --> 01:04:49.715
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm going towards that again.
01:04:49.775 --> 01:04:50.255
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
01:04:50.276 --> 01:04:52.980
[SPEAKER_00]: I want to go in there because I love his there, but there's also lions and they can kill us.
01:04:53.521 --> 01:04:58.750
[SPEAKER_00]: And that's why when people get really nervous, they want to open up to people and that's what causes that communication breakdown among people.
01:04:58.882 --> 01:04:59.283
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
01:05:00.345 --> 01:05:00.845
[SPEAKER_01]: You're right.
01:05:01.907 --> 01:05:04.352
[SPEAKER_01]: There's so much good stuff coming out of this.
01:05:04.372 --> 01:05:06.355
[SPEAKER_01]: So I know we have to wrap up pretty soon.
01:05:06.375 --> 01:05:07.177
[SPEAKER_01]: Yes, yes, yes.
01:05:07.317 --> 01:05:07.638
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay.
01:05:08.579 --> 01:05:10.843
[SPEAKER_01]: Wait, did you say did I ask you if you've been ghosted before?
01:05:10.863 --> 01:05:14.089
[SPEAKER_00]: Um, no, you did, but I can answer that question.
01:05:14.069 --> 01:05:14.569
[SPEAKER_01]: Do you have you?
01:05:14.810 --> 01:05:15.230
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, yes.
01:05:15.811 --> 01:05:16.471
[SPEAKER_00]: What I never said.
01:05:16.892 --> 01:05:20.615
[SPEAKER_00]: I found the person before the word ghosted existed.
01:05:20.635 --> 01:05:21.956
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh my gosh.
01:05:21.976 --> 01:05:26.620
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh my god, I, I, like, yeah, yeah.
01:05:26.640 --> 01:05:28.162
[SPEAKER_00]: I was ghosted on a flip phone.
01:05:28.762 --> 01:05:31.024
[SPEAKER_00]: I was ghosted while playing snake on a phone.
01:05:31.244 --> 01:05:31.965
[SPEAKER_00]: You remember snake?
01:05:32.726 --> 01:05:33.086
[SPEAKER_00]: No.
01:05:33.386 --> 01:05:39.772
[SPEAKER_00]: I was a little bit a little dot game like, like, you had to collect the little dots and make the longest snake possible without hitting the walls.
01:05:40.132 --> 01:05:40.553
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay, yeah.
01:05:40.653 --> 01:05:43.215
[SPEAKER_00]: Go, oh, I was ghosted on my space.
01:05:43.853 --> 01:05:48.560
[SPEAKER_01]: All right, I forgot about my, I haven't thought about that in a while.
01:05:48.681 --> 01:05:54.450
[SPEAKER_00]: I got ghosted so bad my space one day, I had like a happy song and then I changed it to a sad song.
01:05:55.471 --> 01:06:00.900
[SPEAKER_02]: Oh, yeah, you're doing it.
01:06:00.880 --> 01:06:25.234
[SPEAKER_01]: I was like oh yeah for those youngsters that have no idea what we're talking about you're my space profile You picked a song and that like was a song that played with your profile It's like a Facebook page except it was my space and different and so you had your main theme song Yeah, and like yeah, no, and instead of saying single and ready to mingle It was single and ready to die
01:06:25.214 --> 01:06:43.138
[SPEAKER_00]: No, but yeah, no, getting ghosted is a horrible thing because like because it's done for two reasons number one the person some people just aren't good with conflict and they just want to break it off Yeah, I mean, and then there's other people who didn't even care to think what you thought
01:06:43.118 --> 01:06:44.601
[SPEAKER_00]: That's the weird thing about ghosting.
01:06:45.203 --> 01:06:52.960
[SPEAKER_00]: Is that the person either cared how you felt and ghosted you, but didn't want to deal with it, so they just want maybe I'm better off just despairing or they're like, effort dispersing.
01:06:53.181 --> 01:06:53.602
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
01:06:53.622 --> 01:06:56.228
[SPEAKER_00]: And that's how horrible ghosting is sometimes.
01:06:56.348 --> 01:06:57.651
[SPEAKER_01]: Have you done it somewhere?
01:06:57.985 --> 01:07:01.854
[SPEAKER_00]: Um, trying to think, I imagine I might have.
01:07:01.874 --> 01:07:04.820
[SPEAKER_00]: I imagine I'm trying to think, because like, I'm a human being.
01:07:04.940 --> 01:07:08.388
[SPEAKER_00]: I did so many dipshit things when I was in my high school years.
01:07:09.029 --> 01:07:11.014
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm pretty sure I goes to somebody hell.
01:07:11.174 --> 01:07:13.800
[SPEAKER_00]: I friends on it, my wife and high school.
01:07:13.780 --> 01:07:16.384
[SPEAKER_00]: So, and which she brings that up to me all the time.
01:07:16.424 --> 01:07:20.331
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, she's like, oh, it's like sometimes a little bit joking.
01:07:20.351 --> 01:07:23.676
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm like, yeah, if we're ever feeling intimate and a little bit tired.
01:07:23.736 --> 01:07:25.860
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, it's because I'm sorry for Mark.
01:07:25.880 --> 01:07:28.945
[SPEAKER_00]: She's like, oh, I know this friend's own feeling and she'll turn over.
01:07:28.965 --> 01:07:29.646
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm like, no!
01:07:32.309 --> 01:07:34.613
[SPEAKER_00]: She knows that we don't have it.
01:07:34.934 --> 01:07:35.816
[SPEAKER_00]: We've been together for so long.
01:07:35.836 --> 01:07:38.160
[SPEAKER_00]: We don't have to like Get each other.
01:07:38.440 --> 01:07:39.262
[SPEAKER_00]: No, I love you.
01:07:39.522 --> 01:07:40.144
[SPEAKER_00]: I love it.
01:07:40.164 --> 01:07:40.284
[SPEAKER_00]: Sorry.
01:07:40.805 --> 01:07:41.166
[SPEAKER_00]: My arms.
01:07:41.226 --> 01:07:41.526
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay.
01:07:41.767 --> 01:07:42.809
[SPEAKER_00]: It's not clicking anymore.
01:07:42.909 --> 01:07:43.730
[SPEAKER_00]: It's not doing this.
01:07:44.432 --> 01:07:45.233
[SPEAKER_00]: It's not doing that.
01:07:46.195 --> 01:07:46.616
[SPEAKER_00]: It's good.
01:07:46.636 --> 01:07:48.900
[SPEAKER_00]: I love you, baby
01:07:48.880 --> 01:07:53.132
[SPEAKER_00]: But yeah, so I look everything that has happened to me.
01:07:53.292 --> 01:07:59.289
[SPEAKER_00]: I imagine it has been done to me at one point and I think that's why dating is so messy.
01:07:59.309 --> 01:08:01.354
[SPEAKER_00]: It's kind of like a league of a sat.
01:08:01.435 --> 01:08:04.122
[SPEAKER_01]: It's like assassins like assassins creator
01:08:04.102 --> 01:08:27.477
[SPEAKER_00]: No, just assassins, like you can't condemn the person next to you, like yeah, you killed people too, like yeah, fair Like we've all screwed each other somehow in some way possible whether it was ghosting not being a good communicator You know, and and and again there's outside factors that include, but at the end of the day just being the best version You can be just enjoy life
01:08:27.457 --> 01:08:31.827
[SPEAKER_00]: Try not it just consider other people's emotions is what I try to always go by.
01:08:31.847 --> 01:08:32.409
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
01:08:32.429 --> 01:08:36.117
[SPEAKER_00]: I mean, and when you do that, that's that's the best policy.
01:08:36.618 --> 01:08:37.099
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
01:08:37.119 --> 01:08:40.167
[SPEAKER_01]: So that sounds like you're like final piece of dating advice.
01:08:40.267 --> 01:08:40.808
[SPEAKER_01]: Is it?
01:08:40.872 --> 01:08:42.775
[SPEAKER_00]: Yep, just get sooner or other people's emotions.
01:08:42.835 --> 01:08:48.084
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, everybody bitches about like, how like, oh, there's no good person out there.
01:08:48.805 --> 01:08:51.930
[SPEAKER_00]: You have to be, you have to start being the good person.
01:08:52.331 --> 01:08:52.791
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
01:08:52.812 --> 01:08:55.376
[SPEAKER_00]: And in times where maybe you don't want to be the good person, you have to be the bigger person.
01:08:56.097 --> 01:08:57.820
[SPEAKER_00]: And sometimes you have to be the small person.
01:08:57.860 --> 01:08:59.843
[SPEAKER_00]: Trust me, I've been that thousands of times.
01:08:59.823 --> 01:09:02.746
[SPEAKER_00]: But you have to consider someone else's emotions.
01:09:03.107 --> 01:09:04.769
[SPEAKER_00]: And you don't know, you might unlock something.
01:09:04.849 --> 01:09:06.430
[SPEAKER_00]: You might prove them wrong.
01:09:06.490 --> 01:09:11.656
[SPEAKER_00]: They might be going into a day in situation where they think or she thinks, this is disgusting, this is bad.
01:09:11.937 --> 01:09:14.580
[SPEAKER_00]: But then they're like, oh wait, this person looks like being now.
01:09:15.781 --> 01:09:20.867
[SPEAKER_00]: And then that vulnerable moment that honesty opens up for a reciprocation now.
01:09:21.147 --> 01:09:23.890
[SPEAKER_00]: Now, now a relationship is budding.
01:09:24.258 --> 01:09:26.583
[SPEAKER_01]: So, all right, I have two more questions.
01:09:26.603 --> 01:09:27.024
[SPEAKER_00]: Go forward.
01:09:27.124 --> 01:09:31.755
[SPEAKER_01]: One is, is there something you wish that you knew when you were single?
01:09:32.436 --> 01:09:36.445
[SPEAKER_01]: And the second one is, is there anyone that you want to roast on here?
01:09:39.445 --> 01:09:40.847
[SPEAKER_00]: Um, okay.
01:09:40.947 --> 01:09:45.532
[SPEAKER_00]: First, the first question was, what was the stuff you wish you knew when you were single?
01:09:45.552 --> 01:09:49.457
[SPEAKER_00]: I would say enjoy life, just enjoy life and, you know, go on dates.
01:09:49.857 --> 01:09:55.264
[SPEAKER_00]: This isn't the person you're dating isn't going to be your wife or maybe they will be, but don't make it a do or die moment.
01:09:56.145 --> 01:09:56.946
[SPEAKER_00]: It's just a date.
01:09:57.006 --> 01:09:59.609
[SPEAKER_00]: You say no somebody, someone will say yes to you later on.
01:09:59.749 --> 01:10:06.617
[SPEAKER_00]: It's, basically, you remember, yeah, I'm not sure you ever play that game in high school where what it did like for senior days where it's
01:10:06.597 --> 01:10:11.735
[SPEAKER_00]: They would give some people locks, some people keys, and you had to find the person who's keen as you lock.
01:10:11.815 --> 01:10:12.477
[SPEAKER_01]: That's cool.
01:10:12.537 --> 01:10:12.758
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
01:10:12.778 --> 01:10:15.287
[SPEAKER_00]: It was kind of like a scene a team building thing.
01:10:15.327 --> 01:10:16.611
[SPEAKER_00]: So you had to go around everybody.
01:10:16.631 --> 01:10:17.755
[SPEAKER_00]: It's mine for yours.
01:10:17.836 --> 01:10:18.677
[SPEAKER_00]: That's what dating is.
01:10:19.759 --> 01:10:20.680
[SPEAKER_00]: That's what dating is.
01:10:20.860 --> 01:10:26.127
[SPEAKER_00]: That's what you're going to... You're not going to... Not every lock is going to work and not every key's going to work until eventually.
01:10:26.328 --> 01:10:29.492
[SPEAKER_00]: It clicks and you're like, there it is.
01:10:29.512 --> 01:10:32.717
[SPEAKER_00]: But you won't find that person without getting your hands dirty and trying.
01:10:32.877 --> 01:10:35.801
[SPEAKER_00]: So in other words, don't... Don't...
01:10:35.821 --> 01:10:36.722
[SPEAKER_00]: It...
01:10:37.310 --> 01:10:47.462
[SPEAKER_00]: All the struggles and stresses that come with dating, you know, you'll feel of now, you won't feel them again in a year from now, or if you do, they do hurt and you will have heartbreak.
01:10:47.482 --> 01:10:48.443
[SPEAKER_00]: There will be heartbreak.
01:10:50.065 --> 01:10:52.047
[SPEAKER_00]: And it sounds really cheesy, be lucky, you got to feel it.
01:10:53.309 --> 01:10:53.509
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
01:10:53.529 --> 01:10:58.535
[SPEAKER_00]: Because you make sure you human, and you're gonna learn lessons from that, it's gonna give way more empathetic human being.
01:10:58.635 --> 01:11:05.443
[SPEAKER_00]: If you choose it to do that, if you choose it, you can be a cruel bastard or you could go, there are people that can be cruel bastards.
01:11:05.542 --> 01:11:13.329
[SPEAKER_00]: then or you could say like no I'm going to take this and be a better person and I'm not going to push this damage upon another person because it was pushed on me.
01:11:13.570 --> 01:11:14.010
[SPEAKER_01]: That's fair.
01:11:14.030 --> 01:11:16.592
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm not going to treat people like shit because that person treated me like shit.
01:11:16.633 --> 01:11:19.816
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, so anyone anyone you want to roast before we go?
01:11:20.156 --> 01:11:25.761
[SPEAKER_01]: Like when you mean by roast, like like you know the podcast is called ghosted and roasted.
01:11:25.781 --> 01:11:26.402
[SPEAKER_00]: Ghosted and roasted.
01:11:26.422 --> 01:11:31.887
[SPEAKER_01]: Is there like a joke you'd want to crack at someone you've dated before?
01:11:31.867 --> 01:11:34.493
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay, all right, we don't have one.
01:11:34.574 --> 01:11:35.235
[SPEAKER_00]: No, no, I do.
01:11:35.376 --> 01:11:49.470
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm so both my so you have to know my first comedy special is about It's hot mess, which is about my upbringing and then my second special is about spooky, which is my nickname Which is all about her but the first special was me dealing with all my demons
01:11:49.450 --> 01:11:52.474
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay, so uh, yeah, I had a lot of X's.
01:11:53.355 --> 01:11:54.677
[SPEAKER_01]: So what's a quick joke.
01:11:54.897 --> 01:11:55.798
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh quick joke.
01:11:55.818 --> 01:12:02.967
[SPEAKER_00]: Uh, I got cheated on so badly by a lot of X's and this one X like I said the one that told you about the clapping one But the one that.
01:12:03.427 --> 01:12:04.248
[SPEAKER_02]: Yes, dude.
01:12:04.268 --> 01:12:13.039
[SPEAKER_00]: She really got to roast the food cheating on me with numerous guys like and I like every you ever have like when you get cheated on Everything you see reminds you of cheating.
01:12:13.099 --> 01:12:14.421
[SPEAKER_00]: It's hard to get out of your head.
01:12:14.441 --> 01:12:16.844
[SPEAKER_00]: You can go down the road to see restaurants see long jumps.
01:12:16.884 --> 01:12:17.525
[SPEAKER_00]: So where's your thing?
01:12:17.545 --> 01:12:19.187
[SPEAKER_00]: It was a junk because he's long
01:12:19.167 --> 01:12:26.014
[SPEAKER_00]: and they're using, you're like, it's Joe's crab-shack, so I'm thinking, I got crabs now from Joe, but nothing, nothing hurt me more.
01:12:26.815 --> 01:12:31.180
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, five guys, not, but yeah.
01:12:33.462 --> 01:12:33.662
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh my god.
01:12:33.682 --> 01:12:35.524
[SPEAKER_01]: That's the gang bang if I ever heard one.
01:12:35.544 --> 01:12:37.947
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, yes, yes.
01:12:37.967 --> 01:12:48.718
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, yeah, oh, yeah, she watched Thomas the chant, she was, she was a big fan of Thomas the tank engine apparently when she was a little girl, and now she grew up and now she runs trains that way.
01:12:49.542 --> 01:12:51.384
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, my legs.
01:12:51.404 --> 01:12:52.266
[UNKNOWN]: Ha ha ha.
01:12:52.286 --> 01:12:54.388
[SPEAKER_01]: All right, well, we got to wrap this thing up.
01:12:54.408 --> 01:12:58.253
[SPEAKER_00]: You grow up, I grew up watching this and I grew up to be romantic.
01:12:58.433 --> 01:13:00.015
[SPEAKER_00]: So she grew up then, she ran trains.
01:13:00.036 --> 01:13:00.496
[SPEAKER_00]: That's what me.
01:13:00.516 --> 01:13:01.918
[SPEAKER_00]: That's it.
01:13:01.958 --> 01:13:03.180
[SPEAKER_00]: Facts, just facts, just facts.
01:13:03.640 --> 01:13:08.827
[SPEAKER_01]: Well, this has been really fun to everyone out there.
01:13:08.887 --> 01:13:10.829
[SPEAKER_01]: May your date speak great in your red flags.
01:13:10.890 --> 01:13:11.490
[SPEAKER_01]: Be obvious.
01:13:11.971 --> 01:13:12.692
[SPEAKER_01]: Talk to you next time.
01:13:12.872 --> 01:13:19.060
[SPEAKER_00]: See ya.