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What if the things you're best at aren't necessarily the things you were made for?
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It's a big question, isn't it?
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And you know, in the last episode of Execution Insights, we talked about the gift of choosing again.
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Now, that was an episode about realizing where you are and the trajectory you're on.
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And if it's not what you truly want, having the courage and the conviction to make a different decision.
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The realization is no matter how much of your life you've invested in one direction, you can always choose again.
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Well, that episode had an amazing response.
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In fact, over a thousand people downloaded that particular podcast in the first week in which it was available, still going strong as I record this today.
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But what I've realized and I've learned from reading your comments, which by the way, I really love.
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I hope you'll keep extending the two.
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That I answered one question and I actually left you with an even bigger question.
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How do you know what to choose?
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So, in this episode, I'm going to share a deeply personal experience that quite literally changed the direction of my life.
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And I'm going to have it accompanied by a very simple exercise.
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An exercise that I've now used with over a thousand coaching clients to help uncover the clues our lives have really been leaving us all along.
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That's why this episode is titled, This Is What You Were Made For.
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I'm really glad you're here.
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In the last episode of Execution Insights, I told you about a moment in my life when I finally became willing to admit something.
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You remember I shouted out to the walls of an empty hotel room, this is not the life I want.
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And that particular episode was called The Gift of Choosing Again.
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And almost as soon as I finished it, I realized there was another question waiting behind the one I had built the whole episode around.
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And even more importantly, I thought that second question is probably the bigger question.
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It's simply this.
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If I want to choose again, how do I know what to choose?
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Now think about that for a minute.
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It's a really difficult question at its deepest level, isn't it?
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How do you distinguish between something you can do, hey, maybe even something you're extraordinarily good at, and the very thing you were actually made for.
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As that question settles in, I want to point out an even harder truth.
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Competency can actually be a prison.
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In my life, I've coached a brilliant finance leader who longed to make an impact on the culture of the company, but every time she tried, she was encouraged to just stay with what she knows best, which was finance and accounting.
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Long ago, I coached a senior executive who, while being an exceptional leader, really dreamed of simply coaching and mentoring others through their own growth and development.
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But in the role he currently holds, he has no capacity beyond meeting all of the performance objectives he's already been given.
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In fact, truthfully, I see this in my coaching every single day.
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And that's why I created this follow-on episode to, in a very real sense, finish the message I began in the previous one.
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So to complete the message of the gift of choosing again, I want to offer you a path to what comes next.
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And well, strangely enough, I don't think we find it by looking forward.
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I think we find that path by looking back.
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So the question behind the question comes with this story.
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There was a period of time during my years as a CEO when I reached one of the lowest points of my professional life.
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And I've talked about pieces of this story for years.
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I've shared lessons that I've learned.
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And as I said, even in the previous episode, I referenced it quite a bit.
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And I want to be careful not to rewrite those years as something they really weren't.
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I mean, the truth is, I had many wonderful years as a CEO.
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And during that time, we accomplished great things together that, well, still to this day, I remain enormously proud of.
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I also got to work alongside people that I really loved.
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And together, we created memories and relationships that, well, I will treasure for a lifetime.
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In other words, being a CEO wasn't a mistake.
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But I remember, as I've shared with you, sitting alone in my office one night and finally admitting, even though this is a great job, it's not my job.
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I'm not happy in this job.
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It was a very hard thing to be willing to admit.
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And almost immediately, you know, a question came up for me.
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If you're not happy now, when have you been happy?
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Now, it's really important to say, you know, I don't know where this question came from, you know, whether it was an audible voice that I heard or just something that came from my spirit or from my creator.
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I don't, I don't know.
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But I know it was the right question because it's not enough to say I'm not happy now.
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We don't really understand the whole picture until we've done enough investigation to say, well, when have I ever been happy?
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And when I say happy, I want to make sure this word is clear in the way that I mean it.
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I don't mean superficially happy.
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I don't even mean comfortable or successful.
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The real question was, when had I felt deeply fulfilled by what I was doing?
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You know what I'm talking about?
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That that magical time when you happen to be doing the right thing in the right way with the right people, and every single morning you wake up, if not anxious, certainly ready and happy to be able to do it again today.
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So I started to ask myself this question when had I felt most alive, right?
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When had I felt really fulfilled by what I was doing?
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And maybe most important of all, when had I felt that in that moment my life and my work was truly on purpose?
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Well, it wasn't a quick answer.
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In fact, it was quite a journey to find the answer to this question.
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But eventually, all of those questions came down to one question.
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And it's the question I offer you today and the one I've built this entire episode around.
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What was I made for?
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Now, remember, not what am I good at, not what can I be successful at, not what can I make money at or or be held in high regard for.
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It's a deeper question.
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What was I made for?
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And the only honest way to offer you this episode is to say, in that moment, I didn't know.
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I really didn't know.
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So I stopped trying to imagine the answer.
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And I went looking for evidence.
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And I don't mean casually looking.
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It really became the primary focus of my energy and my time in every moment I could spare to look for evidence that would let me really, perhaps once and for all, answer this question.
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And I eventually found it.
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I began going back through my professional life, searching for moments that had really mattered.
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Now, I wasn't looking for my greatest accomplishments, and I wasn't even looking for my best seasons, you know, like the fall of '93 or something like that.
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I was looking for specific moments that if I could, I would want to fill the next chapter of my life with hundreds of them.
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It's such an important distinction to me.
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The difference between looking for moments of greatest success, well, all that would have led me to was simply sort of recreating my resume.
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And that's not what I needed.
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What I needed was an inventory of the moments that had meant the most.
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The times when something inside me had simply said, yes.
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Do you know, you know what I'm talking about?
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Where everything we're doing sort of comes together in alignment, and every aspect of our life could sort of be overarched by this label of yes or this.
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This is it.
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Well, over time, I uh found those moments.
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And I also in the process developed a simple test that would let me sift my thousands of memories and find only those that were the most important.
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I I call this method the five rights.
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Like one, two, three, four, five, the five rights.
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And and the five rights are simply this.
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When had I been the right person doing the right thing in the right way with the right people for the right reason?
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Right?
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Does that make sense?
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When was I the right person doing the right thing in the right way with the right people for the right reason?
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Any moment I could really remember that past four or five of those tests became a real candidate for one of the pieces I would build the next chapter of my life around.
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Now, I'm going to be really transparent here.
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You know, not every memory had to meet all five perfectly.
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But the closer I could come, the more likely I knew it belonged on the list of building blocks for the next chapter.
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So honestly, I took weeks to complete this.
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I mean, in the very beginning, I thought of several right away, probably the highlight reel of my happiest memories, you know.
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But then I waited and gave it time.
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And sure enough, the more I asked the question in the morning, in the evening, and in quiet moments, the more my mind and my heart began to bring back to me things that I had really lost.
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I mean, things that I enjoyed and loved but had forgotten about.
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So I looked back across 30 years of my professional life.
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And I want to emphasize that I think one of the things that I did unconsciously, but was so important, was that I limited this to my professional life.
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I didn't try to somehow regulate the birth of my children or marrying the love of my life or having wonderful health or whatever else it might have been.
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I was strictly looking at the raw material I wanted to use to build my next chapter in my career or in the work that I do in the world.
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So when I finished that exercise, which took weeks, I realized I had 17 moments.
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17.
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Yeah.
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The number surprised me too.
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I mean, honestly, I had lived what a lot of people would probably describe as a really fortunate professional life.
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And there I was staring at a piece of paper that illustrated across 30 years, I could only identify 17 moments that rose to this level of meaning and fulfillment.
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Now, you don't have to do the math.
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It's less than one per year.
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But then I realized the number of moments doesn't really matter.
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What really matters is seeing what those 17 moments actually were.
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Because if you're looking for clues to build the next chapter on, 17 is a great number.
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So the moment I realized that, I knew that 17 was enough.
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And that's well, that's when everything changed.
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Here's what was inside those moments.
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12 of the 17 moments were when I was writing or speaking about something I really cared about or deeply believed.
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Twelve of the 17.
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The other five moments, well, every single one of those, in one way or another, involved me helping another human being one-on-one.
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Now, whether I was, you know, mentoring someone or whether I was coaching someone or whether I was just having a casual conversation with a friend, trying to help them see something in themselves that they hadn't been able to see before.
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It didn't matter.
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But remember those two numbers.
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Out of 30 years, I had 12 and five.
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Every one of the 17 moments showed me something I wasn't expecting.
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And by now it might be obvious to you.
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Not a single moment was about being a CEO.
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Now, I don't know if you can feel how hard I'm trying, but I really want to be careful with how I say this.
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There's nothing in what I'm offering you that diminishes the extraordinary experiences I had as a CEO or how much I loved the people that I worked with or the purpose for which we were all working.
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This moment in my life, it was about something really different.
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You see, when I stopped asking, when have I been successful?
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And I started asking, when have I felt most deeply alive?
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I found a completely different answer.
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You know, there's an old expression, was used a lot in my day for moments like this, and I've always liked it.
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Have you ever heard the expression I was having a BFO?
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Some of you know exactly what this stands for.
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A blinding flash of the obvious.
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And there's really no better description for what was going on with me in this moment.
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Because when I finally looked backward, the way forward was incredibly clear.
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It was like seeing the landing lights of an airport runway at night.
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Have you ever had that experience?
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It's darkness all around, but those landing lights are clear, and with it, every pilot can navigate us all to a safe landing.
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Well, for me, these 17 moments were the landing lights in my life.
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There they were.
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And all I really had to do, like a good pilot, was to follow the light.
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I think we've all heard this phrase popularized by some really wonderful speakers in the world.
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Success leaves clues.
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I really think that's true.
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And I really think in this moment I was having the experience of the realization of how valuable those clues could actually be to me.
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But I also believe something even bigger now.
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Every life leaves clues.
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Because if you and I look only at success, well, all we're going to find are more reasons to keep doing what we've always done.
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But if we look for the places where life felt most like your life, not someone else's life, not some other definition, well, that's when the heavens open and a deeper answer becomes available.
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So I started asking myself deeper questions.
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When did I have real meaning in what I was doing?
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Where was I finding joy in those times?
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Or even what enabled me to kind of lose myself in something that mattered?
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I have no sense of time or effort or fatigue, you know, but just totally captured by what I was doing.
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In a very real sense, I was searching for the moments that kind of whispered to me, hey Jim, this is it.
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This is one of those moments when you were really alive.
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I also want you to know that the 17 moments weren't instructions.
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As I said a moment ago, to me, they were evidence.
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And when I looked at them all, well, they revealed something that I had not expected to see.
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What I discovered out of the 17 moments wasn't a job.
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It wasn't a new job description or even a new professional direction.
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In fact, you know, honestly, when someone asks what we do, don't we usually answer with a role?
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You know, I have this title or I work in this field or I have this credential, you know, that goes along with it.
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But there but the reality is that all of that changes with every chapter of our life, right?
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Our roles change, our titles disappear.
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Sometimes our careers, as we've built them so far, they actually come to an end.
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But what you were made for lives forever underneath all of that.
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That's what I've learned.
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Even my 17 moments didn't tell me I was made to be an author or a speaker or even an executive coach.
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In fact, I had no thought at all in that moment that this is where my life is headed.
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But the 17 moments showed me when I came alive.
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They reminded me of how powerfully engaged I was when I was communicating something I deeply believed in, or when I was face to face with another person where I could really be helpful and offer them a thought or some guidance.
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You see, all of these were moments when I had the opportunity to truly impact the life of another person and to offer them something that would potentially be truly useful.
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Now, for me, writing and speaking, those were just the forms it took.
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Teaching and now coaching for me are just forms.
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And the forms can change.
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The forms I'm utilizing today may be different in a year or two from now.
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But the calling never left me.
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So in this story, only a few days later, I made a decision.
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And the truth is I was pretty scared.
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Because I didn't know exactly what the next chapter was going to look like.
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And I certainly didn't have a beautifully constructed plan for every step along the way.
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In fact, I had almost none of that.
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But I knew this.
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I was fiercely determined to build the next chapter of my life around what those 17 moments had revealed.
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With everything inside me, I knew I was going to find a way to write.
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I was going to find a way to speak.
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I was going to find a way to teach.
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And don't forget, I was still holding a position as a CEO with a lot of responsibility for a lot of people.
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But I knew in that moment that the next chapter of my life was going to be spent helping other people discover what was possible for them.
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Now, one thing that's really important to me for you to hear.
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All the years that came before weren't wasted.
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I know I've said something about this already in this recording, but I really want to emphasize it again.
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Those years were not wasted.
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In fact, the CEO years were not a wrong term.
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They were formative.
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They gave me experiences and relationships and even failures and victories and real scars and stories that I would carry into everything that came next.
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And with all my heart, I want to say, you know, the same thing is true for you.
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Maybe some chapters weren't what you were made for.
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Okay.
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Maybe some chapters were part of what you were made through.
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So one of the greatest things I learned, I want to emphasize it a lot.
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Don't discard your history.
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Study it.
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Because for me, that's when something began to happen.
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Now, some of you know this story, but for those of you who don't, within a month of making that decision, my phone rang with an unbelievable opportunity.
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I was invited to join what I think of still to this day as the most respected leadership organization in the world.
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And the wonderful person on the other end of that call, who is still one of the most important people in my life, said, Hey Jim, we heard you might be looking to do something different.
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Would you like to travel the world teaching leadership and execution to leaders who are hungry for that knowledge?
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I know.
00:20:01.599 --> 00:20:06.079
I mean, that's almost a word-for-word repeating of the question asked to me.
00:20:06.240 --> 00:20:10.799
And my friends, I want to tell you, I stood there staring into my phone.
00:20:10.960 --> 00:20:12.880
I literally didn't know what to say.
00:20:13.119 --> 00:20:14.640
Not because I didn't know the answer.
00:20:14.799 --> 00:20:21.119
Oh boy, did I know the answer, but because what had happened was something I'd only dreamed of.
00:20:21.440 --> 00:20:29.680
Now, I don't know what you believe about moments like this, and I'm certainly not going to push any system of belief on anybody.
00:20:29.920 --> 00:20:34.240
But I will tell you this, I know what I believe about this moment.
00:20:34.400 --> 00:20:43.279
I believe that phone call was destined to come to me at that moment, and it became one of the most profound pivots of my life.
00:20:43.599 --> 00:20:48.480
But don't forget that the phone call didn't tell me what I was made for.
00:20:48.720 --> 00:20:57.119
You see, in this story, my life had already shown me that because I'd been searching for the evidence.
00:20:57.359 --> 00:21:02.400
The phone call was just the invitation that now was a time to get started.
00:21:02.960 --> 00:21:06.079
So as I close this message, I want to leave you with this question.
00:21:06.400 --> 00:21:12.319
And I hope you'll carry it with you in the days and weeks to come and give it real thought.
00:21:12.960 --> 00:21:16.480
What has your life been telling you?
00:21:17.039 --> 00:21:20.240
What are the clues that are being offered to you?
00:21:21.119 --> 00:21:26.240
Maybe you're in a season of transition, or maybe everything is going incredibly well.
00:21:26.480 --> 00:21:33.920
But somewhere underneath the life you've built is this question you still can't seem to silence.
00:21:34.480 --> 00:21:38.400
You know, the one that says, Is there something more?
00:21:39.680 --> 00:21:47.599
But before you start looking outward for the answer, I hope this message encourages you to look backward.
00:21:48.400 --> 00:21:55.440
In other words, go back through all the years of your professional life and begin collecting the moments that have meant the most to you.
00:21:55.680 --> 00:21:59.599
Remember the five rights, put them to the test, narrow them down to the best.
00:22:00.400 --> 00:22:05.839
Possible list, which by the way won't be the biggest moments or even the most impressive moments.
00:22:06.240 --> 00:22:19.599
It'll be the moments when you felt deeply alive, when you knew that your talent and your skill and your effort were useful, that they were leaving you with the feeling of being fulfilled and on purpose.
00:22:19.839 --> 00:22:26.960
And then use those five rights to rigorously test them, so that all that's left are the best.
00:22:27.119 --> 00:22:28.240
Remember the rights.
00:22:28.400 --> 00:22:34.079
When was I the right person doing the right thing in the right way with the right people for the right reason?
00:22:34.319 --> 00:22:41.680
Test your memories against that so that the list that you have at the end are the best of the best of the best.
00:22:42.000 --> 00:22:43.920
Don't force the pattern.
00:22:44.240 --> 00:22:46.160
Just collect the evidence.
00:22:46.480 --> 00:22:51.920
And when you have enough of it, take a full step back and look for the clues.
00:22:52.160 --> 00:22:54.079
Because I promise you they're there.
00:22:54.480 --> 00:22:56.319
What is it that keeps appearing?
00:22:56.559 --> 00:23:00.000
Who are you in those moments when you felt this way?
00:23:00.240 --> 00:23:05.279
What was it that you had to give in your talent and your ability and your skills?
00:23:05.519 --> 00:23:09.359
What part of you keeps trying to show up in every circumstance?
00:23:09.519 --> 00:23:16.400
These kinds of questions will lead you ultimately to the answer for the biggest question of all.
00:23:16.880 --> 00:23:20.720
What has my life been trying to tell me all along?
00:23:21.920 --> 00:23:27.599
See, in my own story, I didn't actually know where those 17 moments were going to lead me.
00:23:27.759 --> 00:23:29.119
I didn't really have a clue.
00:23:29.279 --> 00:23:33.200
It may seem clear now, all these years later, but but it wasn't then.
00:23:33.440 --> 00:23:35.519
I couldn't see the next 20 years.
00:23:35.759 --> 00:23:50.079
I couldn't have imagined the people I would meet and the places I would go and the books I would write and the messages I would offer and the extraordinary privilege of coaching leaders one-to-one all over the world.
00:23:50.319 --> 00:23:57.039
If you go all the way back to my point of origin to this chapter, all I had in my hands were 17 moments.
00:23:57.359 --> 00:24:09.039
But I want you to know those 17 moments were enough because they showed me something that for whatever reason I'd been unable to see all the time I was looking forward.
00:24:09.599 --> 00:24:13.759
Just like you, my life had been leaving clues.
00:24:14.400 --> 00:24:15.599
And so has yours.
00:24:15.839 --> 00:24:18.319
And you don't have to invent your purpose.
00:24:18.640 --> 00:24:20.799
You don't have to have the next chapter figured out.
00:24:21.200 --> 00:24:28.559
Maybe you just need to become quiet long enough to notice what has been speaking to you all along.
00:24:28.960 --> 00:24:41.680
You see, in a very real sense, what you were made for has already been written across the moments when you felt most fully alive and on purpose.
00:24:42.319 --> 00:24:52.000
And those are the moments that you and I can not only build our next chapter around, but can architect the remainder of our lives.
00:24:54.720 --> 00:24:56.880
Thanks for spending this time with me.
00:24:57.119 --> 00:25:05.680
I hope something from today's message stays with you and even more helps you lead and live with greater insight and with greater passion.
00:25:05.920 --> 00:25:12.799
If you'd like to continue this conversation, well, I'd love to have you join me for the Execution Insights newsletter.
00:25:12.960 --> 00:25:19.920
You'll find a link to the newsletter in the description below, as well as information if you want to book a coaching session with me.
00:25:20.160 --> 00:25:22.720
Until then, thanks again for being here.
00:25:22.799 --> 00:25:25.759
And remember, lead with vision.
00:00:00.239 --> 00:00:05.519
What if the things you're best at aren't necessarily the things you were made for?
00:00:05.679 --> 00:00:07.200
It's a big question, isn't it?
00:00:07.519 --> 00:00:14.160
And you know, in the last episode of Execution Insights, we talked about the gift of choosing again.
00:00:14.320 --> 00:00:18.559
Now, that was an episode about realizing where you are and the trajectory you're on.
00:00:18.640 --> 00:00:24.079
And if it's not what you truly want, having the courage and the conviction to make a different decision.
00:00:24.239 --> 00:00:31.839
The realization is no matter how much of your life you've invested in one direction, you can always choose again.
00:00:32.079 --> 00:00:35.119
Well, that episode had an amazing response.
00:00:35.200 --> 00:00:43.679
In fact, over a thousand people downloaded that particular podcast in the first week in which it was available, still going strong as I record this today.
00:00:43.920 --> 00:00:49.119
But what I've realized and I've learned from reading your comments, which by the way, I really love.
00:00:49.200 --> 00:00:50.799
I hope you'll keep extending the two.
00:00:51.679 --> 00:00:56.240
That I answered one question and I actually left you with an even bigger question.
00:00:56.479 --> 00:00:58.960
How do you know what to choose?
00:00:59.520 --> 00:01:07.200
So, in this episode, I'm going to share a deeply personal experience that quite literally changed the direction of my life.
00:01:07.359 --> 00:01:11.519
And I'm going to have it accompanied by a very simple exercise.
00:01:11.840 --> 00:01:21.040
An exercise that I've now used with over a thousand coaching clients to help uncover the clues our lives have really been leaving us all along.
00:01:21.280 --> 00:01:26.640
That's why this episode is titled, This Is What You Were Made For.
00:01:26.879 --> 00:01:28.719
I'm really glad you're here.
00:01:34.560 --> 00:01:42.239
In the last episode of Execution Insights, I told you about a moment in my life when I finally became willing to admit something.
00:01:42.480 --> 00:01:49.760
You remember I shouted out to the walls of an empty hotel room, this is not the life I want.
00:01:50.159 --> 00:01:54.480
And that particular episode was called The Gift of Choosing Again.
00:01:54.799 --> 00:02:03.680
And almost as soon as I finished it, I realized there was another question waiting behind the one I had built the whole episode around.
00:02:03.840 --> 00:02:09.840
And even more importantly, I thought that second question is probably the bigger question.
00:02:10.080 --> 00:02:11.360
It's simply this.
00:02:11.680 --> 00:02:16.960
If I want to choose again, how do I know what to choose?
00:02:17.280 --> 00:02:18.960
Now think about that for a minute.
00:02:19.199 --> 00:02:22.719
It's a really difficult question at its deepest level, isn't it?
00:02:22.960 --> 00:02:33.360
How do you distinguish between something you can do, hey, maybe even something you're extraordinarily good at, and the very thing you were actually made for.
00:02:33.680 --> 00:02:38.479
As that question settles in, I want to point out an even harder truth.
00:02:38.800 --> 00:02:42.319
Competency can actually be a prison.
00:02:42.960 --> 00:02:56.319
In my life, I've coached a brilliant finance leader who longed to make an impact on the culture of the company, but every time she tried, she was encouraged to just stay with what she knows best, which was finance and accounting.
00:02:56.719 --> 00:03:08.800
Long ago, I coached a senior executive who, while being an exceptional leader, really dreamed of simply coaching and mentoring others through their own growth and development.
00:03:08.960 --> 00:03:16.159
But in the role he currently holds, he has no capacity beyond meeting all of the performance objectives he's already been given.
00:03:16.400 --> 00:03:20.479
In fact, truthfully, I see this in my coaching every single day.
00:03:20.719 --> 00:03:29.520
And that's why I created this follow-on episode to, in a very real sense, finish the message I began in the previous one.
00:03:29.759 --> 00:03:36.800
So to complete the message of the gift of choosing again, I want to offer you a path to what comes next.
00:03:36.960 --> 00:03:42.000
And well, strangely enough, I don't think we find it by looking forward.
00:03:42.319 --> 00:03:46.159
I think we find that path by looking back.
00:03:46.960 --> 00:03:52.000
So the question behind the question comes with this story.
00:03:52.240 --> 00:03:58.800
There was a period of time during my years as a CEO when I reached one of the lowest points of my professional life.
00:03:58.960 --> 00:04:01.840
And I've talked about pieces of this story for years.
00:04:02.000 --> 00:04:03.680
I've shared lessons that I've learned.
00:04:03.759 --> 00:04:07.199
And as I said, even in the previous episode, I referenced it quite a bit.
00:04:07.360 --> 00:04:12.639
And I want to be careful not to rewrite those years as something they really weren't.
00:04:12.879 --> 00:04:17.600
I mean, the truth is, I had many wonderful years as a CEO.
00:04:17.759 --> 00:04:24.319
And during that time, we accomplished great things together that, well, still to this day, I remain enormously proud of.
00:04:24.480 --> 00:04:27.360
I also got to work alongside people that I really loved.
00:04:27.519 --> 00:04:33.360
And together, we created memories and relationships that, well, I will treasure for a lifetime.
00:04:33.600 --> 00:04:37.120
In other words, being a CEO wasn't a mistake.
00:04:37.360 --> 00:04:47.680
But I remember, as I've shared with you, sitting alone in my office one night and finally admitting, even though this is a great job, it's not my job.
00:04:47.920 --> 00:04:50.879
I'm not happy in this job.
00:04:51.040 --> 00:04:54.160
It was a very hard thing to be willing to admit.
00:04:54.319 --> 00:04:58.639
And almost immediately, you know, a question came up for me.
00:04:59.120 --> 00:05:03.439
If you're not happy now, when have you been happy?
00:05:03.680 --> 00:05:13.360
Now, it's really important to say, you know, I don't know where this question came from, you know, whether it was an audible voice that I heard or just something that came from my spirit or from my creator.
00:05:13.439 --> 00:05:14.319
I don't, I don't know.
00:05:14.560 --> 00:05:19.120
But I know it was the right question because it's not enough to say I'm not happy now.
00:05:19.360 --> 00:05:26.319
We don't really understand the whole picture until we've done enough investigation to say, well, when have I ever been happy?
00:05:26.560 --> 00:05:31.839
And when I say happy, I want to make sure this word is clear in the way that I mean it.
00:05:32.000 --> 00:05:34.480
I don't mean superficially happy.
00:05:34.639 --> 00:05:38.000
I don't even mean comfortable or successful.
00:05:38.319 --> 00:05:44.879
The real question was, when had I felt deeply fulfilled by what I was doing?
00:05:45.040 --> 00:05:46.319
You know what I'm talking about?
00:05:46.480 --> 00:06:00.079
That that magical time when you happen to be doing the right thing in the right way with the right people, and every single morning you wake up, if not anxious, certainly ready and happy to be able to do it again today.
00:06:00.319 --> 00:06:05.600
So I started to ask myself this question when had I felt most alive, right?
00:06:05.759 --> 00:06:09.279
When had I felt really fulfilled by what I was doing?
00:06:09.439 --> 00:06:18.959
And maybe most important of all, when had I felt that in that moment my life and my work was truly on purpose?
00:06:19.360 --> 00:06:21.920
Well, it wasn't a quick answer.
00:06:22.160 --> 00:06:25.360
In fact, it was quite a journey to find the answer to this question.
00:06:25.519 --> 00:06:29.759
But eventually, all of those questions came down to one question.
00:06:29.920 --> 00:06:35.360
And it's the question I offer you today and the one I've built this entire episode around.
00:06:35.680 --> 00:06:37.680
What was I made for?
00:06:38.240 --> 00:06:48.160
Now, remember, not what am I good at, not what can I be successful at, not what can I make money at or or be held in high regard for.
00:06:49.120 --> 00:06:50.879
It's a deeper question.
00:06:51.199 --> 00:06:53.199
What was I made for?
00:06:53.600 --> 00:07:01.120
And the only honest way to offer you this episode is to say, in that moment, I didn't know.
00:07:01.600 --> 00:07:03.519
I really didn't know.
00:07:04.399 --> 00:07:08.000
So I stopped trying to imagine the answer.
00:07:08.160 --> 00:07:11.040
And I went looking for evidence.
00:07:11.279 --> 00:07:13.120
And I don't mean casually looking.
00:07:13.360 --> 00:07:25.759
It really became the primary focus of my energy and my time in every moment I could spare to look for evidence that would let me really, perhaps once and for all, answer this question.
00:07:25.920 --> 00:07:27.519
And I eventually found it.
00:07:27.759 --> 00:07:32.879
I began going back through my professional life, searching for moments that had really mattered.
00:07:33.120 --> 00:07:43.680
Now, I wasn't looking for my greatest accomplishments, and I wasn't even looking for my best seasons, you know, like the fall of '93 or something like that.
00:07:43.920 --> 00:07:53.120
I was looking for specific moments that if I could, I would want to fill the next chapter of my life with hundreds of them.
00:07:53.439 --> 00:07:55.439
It's such an important distinction to me.
00:07:55.600 --> 00:08:04.160
The difference between looking for moments of greatest success, well, all that would have led me to was simply sort of recreating my resume.
00:08:04.319 --> 00:08:05.519
And that's not what I needed.
00:08:05.759 --> 00:08:11.360
What I needed was an inventory of the moments that had meant the most.
00:08:11.680 --> 00:08:16.959
The times when something inside me had simply said, yes.
00:08:17.360 --> 00:08:19.040
Do you know, you know what I'm talking about?
00:08:19.199 --> 00:08:30.560
Where everything we're doing sort of comes together in alignment, and every aspect of our life could sort of be overarched by this label of yes or this.
00:08:31.279 --> 00:08:32.240
This is it.
00:08:32.559 --> 00:08:35.360
Well, over time, I uh found those moments.
00:08:35.519 --> 00:08:47.200
And I also in the process developed a simple test that would let me sift my thousands of memories and find only those that were the most important.
00:08:47.360 --> 00:08:51.200
I I call this method the five rights.
00:08:51.679 --> 00:08:54.320
Like one, two, three, four, five, the five rights.
00:08:54.639 --> 00:08:56.879
And and the five rights are simply this.
00:08:57.120 --> 00:09:05.679
When had I been the right person doing the right thing in the right way with the right people for the right reason?
00:09:05.840 --> 00:09:06.159
Right?
00:09:06.240 --> 00:09:07.120
Does that make sense?
00:09:07.360 --> 00:09:12.080
When was I the right person doing the right thing in the right way with the right people for the right reason?
00:09:12.399 --> 00:09:24.320
Any moment I could really remember that past four or five of those tests became a real candidate for one of the pieces I would build the next chapter of my life around.
00:09:24.639 --> 00:09:27.200
Now, I'm going to be really transparent here.
00:09:27.360 --> 00:09:31.360
You know, not every memory had to meet all five perfectly.
00:09:31.519 --> 00:09:39.039
But the closer I could come, the more likely I knew it belonged on the list of building blocks for the next chapter.
00:09:39.360 --> 00:09:42.080
So honestly, I took weeks to complete this.
00:09:42.240 --> 00:09:48.399
I mean, in the very beginning, I thought of several right away, probably the highlight reel of my happiest memories, you know.
00:09:48.559 --> 00:09:50.559
But then I waited and gave it time.
00:09:50.639 --> 00:10:02.000
And sure enough, the more I asked the question in the morning, in the evening, and in quiet moments, the more my mind and my heart began to bring back to me things that I had really lost.
00:10:02.159 --> 00:10:05.519
I mean, things that I enjoyed and loved but had forgotten about.
00:10:05.759 --> 00:10:10.480
So I looked back across 30 years of my professional life.
00:10:10.559 --> 00:10:19.039
And I want to emphasize that I think one of the things that I did unconsciously, but was so important, was that I limited this to my professional life.
00:10:19.200 --> 00:10:27.200
I didn't try to somehow regulate the birth of my children or marrying the love of my life or having wonderful health or whatever else it might have been.
00:10:27.279 --> 00:10:35.360
I was strictly looking at the raw material I wanted to use to build my next chapter in my career or in the work that I do in the world.
00:10:35.519 --> 00:10:43.200
So when I finished that exercise, which took weeks, I realized I had 17 moments.
00:10:43.679 --> 00:10:44.559
17.
00:10:45.120 --> 00:10:45.679
Yeah.
00:10:46.240 --> 00:10:48.240
The number surprised me too.
00:10:48.559 --> 00:10:55.440
I mean, honestly, I had lived what a lot of people would probably describe as a really fortunate professional life.
00:10:55.679 --> 00:11:09.279
And there I was staring at a piece of paper that illustrated across 30 years, I could only identify 17 moments that rose to this level of meaning and fulfillment.
00:11:09.519 --> 00:11:11.360
Now, you don't have to do the math.
00:11:11.600 --> 00:11:14.399
It's less than one per year.
00:11:15.039 --> 00:11:19.919
But then I realized the number of moments doesn't really matter.
00:11:21.039 --> 00:11:26.240
What really matters is seeing what those 17 moments actually were.
00:11:26.639 --> 00:11:31.759
Because if you're looking for clues to build the next chapter on, 17 is a great number.
00:11:32.000 --> 00:11:36.399
So the moment I realized that, I knew that 17 was enough.
00:11:36.720 --> 00:11:40.159
And that's well, that's when everything changed.
00:11:40.799 --> 00:11:43.039
Here's what was inside those moments.
00:11:43.440 --> 00:11:53.279
12 of the 17 moments were when I was writing or speaking about something I really cared about or deeply believed.
00:11:53.519 --> 00:11:55.600
Twelve of the 17.
00:11:55.840 --> 00:12:05.360
The other five moments, well, every single one of those, in one way or another, involved me helping another human being one-on-one.
00:12:05.919 --> 00:12:18.320
Now, whether I was, you know, mentoring someone or whether I was coaching someone or whether I was just having a casual conversation with a friend, trying to help them see something in themselves that they hadn't been able to see before.
00:12:18.480 --> 00:12:19.519
It didn't matter.
00:12:19.840 --> 00:12:21.679
But remember those two numbers.
00:12:21.919 --> 00:12:26.399
Out of 30 years, I had 12 and five.
00:12:27.120 --> 00:12:32.879
Every one of the 17 moments showed me something I wasn't expecting.
00:12:33.120 --> 00:12:35.360
And by now it might be obvious to you.
00:12:35.600 --> 00:12:38.639
Not a single moment was about being a CEO.
00:12:39.039 --> 00:12:44.720
Now, I don't know if you can feel how hard I'm trying, but I really want to be careful with how I say this.
00:12:44.879 --> 00:12:56.320
There's nothing in what I'm offering you that diminishes the extraordinary experiences I had as a CEO or how much I loved the people that I worked with or the purpose for which we were all working.
00:12:56.559 --> 00:13:00.159
This moment in my life, it was about something really different.
00:13:00.399 --> 00:13:04.879
You see, when I stopped asking, when have I been successful?
00:13:05.200 --> 00:13:10.399
And I started asking, when have I felt most deeply alive?
00:13:11.200 --> 00:13:13.360
I found a completely different answer.
00:13:13.679 --> 00:13:19.679
You know, there's an old expression, was used a lot in my day for moments like this, and I've always liked it.
00:13:20.080 --> 00:13:22.799
Have you ever heard the expression I was having a BFO?
00:13:23.279 --> 00:13:25.600
Some of you know exactly what this stands for.
00:13:26.000 --> 00:13:29.600
A blinding flash of the obvious.
00:13:29.840 --> 00:13:34.159
And there's really no better description for what was going on with me in this moment.
00:13:34.399 --> 00:13:41.279
Because when I finally looked backward, the way forward was incredibly clear.
00:13:41.519 --> 00:13:44.879
It was like seeing the landing lights of an airport runway at night.
00:13:45.039 --> 00:13:46.480
Have you ever had that experience?
00:13:46.799 --> 00:13:54.159
It's darkness all around, but those landing lights are clear, and with it, every pilot can navigate us all to a safe landing.
00:13:54.320 --> 00:13:58.639
Well, for me, these 17 moments were the landing lights in my life.
00:13:58.799 --> 00:13:59.919
There they were.
00:14:00.159 --> 00:14:05.120
And all I really had to do, like a good pilot, was to follow the light.
00:14:05.360 --> 00:14:10.399
I think we've all heard this phrase popularized by some really wonderful speakers in the world.
00:14:10.639 --> 00:14:12.240
Success leaves clues.
00:14:12.480 --> 00:14:14.080
I really think that's true.
00:14:14.240 --> 00:14:21.919
And I really think in this moment I was having the experience of the realization of how valuable those clues could actually be to me.
00:14:22.159 --> 00:14:25.360
But I also believe something even bigger now.
00:14:26.000 --> 00:14:29.440
Every life leaves clues.
00:14:29.759 --> 00:14:38.639
Because if you and I look only at success, well, all we're going to find are more reasons to keep doing what we've always done.
00:14:38.879 --> 00:14:51.519
But if we look for the places where life felt most like your life, not someone else's life, not some other definition, well, that's when the heavens open and a deeper answer becomes available.
00:14:51.759 --> 00:14:54.720
So I started asking myself deeper questions.
00:14:54.960 --> 00:14:58.240
When did I have real meaning in what I was doing?
00:14:58.559 --> 00:15:01.360
Where was I finding joy in those times?
00:15:01.919 --> 00:15:06.879
Or even what enabled me to kind of lose myself in something that mattered?
00:15:07.039 --> 00:15:14.240
I have no sense of time or effort or fatigue, you know, but just totally captured by what I was doing.
00:15:14.399 --> 00:15:23.120
In a very real sense, I was searching for the moments that kind of whispered to me, hey Jim, this is it.
00:15:23.360 --> 00:15:26.559
This is one of those moments when you were really alive.
00:15:27.039 --> 00:15:31.840
I also want you to know that the 17 moments weren't instructions.
00:15:32.080 --> 00:15:36.000
As I said a moment ago, to me, they were evidence.
00:15:36.240 --> 00:15:42.000
And when I looked at them all, well, they revealed something that I had not expected to see.
00:15:42.240 --> 00:15:45.120
What I discovered out of the 17 moments wasn't a job.
00:15:45.200 --> 00:15:49.679
It wasn't a new job description or even a new professional direction.
00:15:50.000 --> 00:15:55.759
In fact, you know, honestly, when someone asks what we do, don't we usually answer with a role?
00:15:55.919 --> 00:16:01.279
You know, I have this title or I work in this field or I have this credential, you know, that goes along with it.
00:16:01.440 --> 00:16:06.159
But there but the reality is that all of that changes with every chapter of our life, right?
00:16:06.240 --> 00:16:08.879
Our roles change, our titles disappear.
00:16:09.039 --> 00:16:13.039
Sometimes our careers, as we've built them so far, they actually come to an end.
00:16:13.600 --> 00:16:20.720
But what you were made for lives forever underneath all of that.
00:16:21.120 --> 00:16:22.720
That's what I've learned.
00:16:23.039 --> 00:16:29.440
Even my 17 moments didn't tell me I was made to be an author or a speaker or even an executive coach.
00:16:29.840 --> 00:16:34.720
In fact, I had no thought at all in that moment that this is where my life is headed.
00:16:35.120 --> 00:16:39.919
But the 17 moments showed me when I came alive.
00:16:40.639 --> 00:16:54.960
They reminded me of how powerfully engaged I was when I was communicating something I deeply believed in, or when I was face to face with another person where I could really be helpful and offer them a thought or some guidance.
00:16:55.200 --> 00:17:06.880
You see, all of these were moments when I had the opportunity to truly impact the life of another person and to offer them something that would potentially be truly useful.
00:17:07.359 --> 00:17:12.480
Now, for me, writing and speaking, those were just the forms it took.
00:17:12.799 --> 00:17:15.759
Teaching and now coaching for me are just forms.
00:17:15.839 --> 00:17:17.440
And the forms can change.
00:17:17.680 --> 00:17:22.240
The forms I'm utilizing today may be different in a year or two from now.
00:17:22.720 --> 00:17:25.759
But the calling never left me.
00:17:26.319 --> 00:17:30.559
So in this story, only a few days later, I made a decision.
00:17:30.720 --> 00:17:33.920
And the truth is I was pretty scared.
00:17:34.400 --> 00:17:37.599
Because I didn't know exactly what the next chapter was going to look like.
00:17:37.759 --> 00:17:43.200
And I certainly didn't have a beautifully constructed plan for every step along the way.
00:17:43.359 --> 00:17:45.519
In fact, I had almost none of that.
00:17:45.759 --> 00:17:47.119
But I knew this.
00:17:47.920 --> 00:17:56.720
I was fiercely determined to build the next chapter of my life around what those 17 moments had revealed.
00:17:57.119 --> 00:18:02.160
With everything inside me, I knew I was going to find a way to write.
00:18:02.319 --> 00:18:03.759
I was going to find a way to speak.
00:18:03.839 --> 00:18:06.160
I was going to find a way to teach.
00:18:06.640 --> 00:18:12.799
And don't forget, I was still holding a position as a CEO with a lot of responsibility for a lot of people.
00:18:12.960 --> 00:18:22.799
But I knew in that moment that the next chapter of my life was going to be spent helping other people discover what was possible for them.
00:18:23.440 --> 00:18:26.880
Now, one thing that's really important to me for you to hear.
00:18:27.039 --> 00:18:29.119
All the years that came before weren't wasted.
00:18:29.200 --> 00:18:33.359
I know I've said something about this already in this recording, but I really want to emphasize it again.
00:18:33.519 --> 00:18:34.880
Those years were not wasted.
00:18:35.039 --> 00:18:38.799
In fact, the CEO years were not a wrong term.
00:18:39.519 --> 00:18:40.960
They were formative.
00:18:41.759 --> 00:18:54.880
They gave me experiences and relationships and even failures and victories and real scars and stories that I would carry into everything that came next.
00:18:55.200 --> 00:19:00.079
And with all my heart, I want to say, you know, the same thing is true for you.
00:19:00.720 --> 00:19:03.440
Maybe some chapters weren't what you were made for.
00:19:03.680 --> 00:19:04.000
Okay.
00:19:04.559 --> 00:19:08.400
Maybe some chapters were part of what you were made through.
00:19:08.640 --> 00:19:12.559
So one of the greatest things I learned, I want to emphasize it a lot.
00:19:13.200 --> 00:19:15.920
Don't discard your history.
00:19:17.200 --> 00:19:18.480
Study it.
00:19:19.039 --> 00:19:22.880
Because for me, that's when something began to happen.
00:19:23.119 --> 00:19:32.720
Now, some of you know this story, but for those of you who don't, within a month of making that decision, my phone rang with an unbelievable opportunity.
00:19:33.039 --> 00:19:40.160
I was invited to join what I think of still to this day as the most respected leadership organization in the world.
00:19:40.400 --> 00:19:53.039
And the wonderful person on the other end of that call, who is still one of the most important people in my life, said, Hey Jim, we heard you might be looking to do something different.
00:19:53.279 --> 00:20:00.480
Would you like to travel the world teaching leadership and execution to leaders who are hungry for that knowledge?
00:20:00.799 --> 00:20:01.440
I know.
00:20:01.599 --> 00:20:06.079
I mean, that's almost a word-for-word repeating of the question asked to me.
00:20:06.240 --> 00:20:10.799
And my friends, I want to tell you, I stood there staring into my phone.
00:20:10.960 --> 00:20:12.880
I literally didn't know what to say.
00:20:13.119 --> 00:20:14.640
Not because I didn't know the answer.
00:20:14.799 --> 00:20:21.119
Oh boy, did I know the answer, but because what had happened was something I'd only dreamed of.
00:20:21.440 --> 00:20:29.680
Now, I don't know what you believe about moments like this, and I'm certainly not going to push any system of belief on anybody.
00:20:29.920 --> 00:20:34.240
But I will tell you this, I know what I believe about this moment.
00:20:34.400 --> 00:20:43.279
I believe that phone call was destined to come to me at that moment, and it became one of the most profound pivots of my life.
00:20:43.599 --> 00:20:48.480
But don't forget that the phone call didn't tell me what I was made for.
00:20:48.720 --> 00:20:57.119
You see, in this story, my life had already shown me that because I'd been searching for the evidence.
00:20:57.359 --> 00:21:02.400
The phone call was just the invitation that now was a time to get started.
00:21:02.960 --> 00:21:06.079
So as I close this message, I want to leave you with this question.
00:21:06.400 --> 00:21:12.319
And I hope you'll carry it with you in the days and weeks to come and give it real thought.
00:21:12.960 --> 00:21:16.480
What has your life been telling you?
00:21:17.039 --> 00:21:20.240
What are the clues that are being offered to you?
00:21:21.119 --> 00:21:26.240
Maybe you're in a season of transition, or maybe everything is going incredibly well.
00:21:26.480 --> 00:21:33.920
But somewhere underneath the life you've built is this question you still can't seem to silence.
00:21:34.480 --> 00:21:38.400
You know, the one that says, Is there something more?
00:21:39.680 --> 00:21:47.599
But before you start looking outward for the answer, I hope this message encourages you to look backward.
00:21:48.400 --> 00:21:55.440
In other words, go back through all the years of your professional life and begin collecting the moments that have meant the most to you.
00:21:55.680 --> 00:21:59.599
Remember the five rights, put them to the test, narrow them down to the best.
00:22:00.400 --> 00:22:05.839
Possible list, which by the way won't be the biggest moments or even the most impressive moments.
00:22:06.240 --> 00:22:19.599
It'll be the moments when you felt deeply alive, when you knew that your talent and your skill and your effort were useful, that they were leaving you with the feeling of being fulfilled and on purpose.
00:22:19.839 --> 00:22:26.960
And then use those five rights to rigorously test them, so that all that's left are the best.
00:22:27.119 --> 00:22:28.240
Remember the rights.
00:22:28.400 --> 00:22:34.079
When was I the right person doing the right thing in the right way with the right people for the right reason?
00:22:34.319 --> 00:22:41.680
Test your memories against that so that the list that you have at the end are the best of the best of the best.
00:22:42.000 --> 00:22:43.920
Don't force the pattern.
00:22:44.240 --> 00:22:46.160
Just collect the evidence.
00:22:46.480 --> 00:22:51.920
And when you have enough of it, take a full step back and look for the clues.
00:22:52.160 --> 00:22:54.079
Because I promise you they're there.
00:22:54.480 --> 00:22:56.319
What is it that keeps appearing?
00:22:56.559 --> 00:23:00.000
Who are you in those moments when you felt this way?
00:23:00.240 --> 00:23:05.279
What was it that you had to give in your talent and your ability and your skills?
00:23:05.519 --> 00:23:09.359
What part of you keeps trying to show up in every circumstance?
00:23:09.519 --> 00:23:16.400
These kinds of questions will lead you ultimately to the answer for the biggest question of all.
00:23:16.880 --> 00:23:20.720
What has my life been trying to tell me all along?
00:23:21.920 --> 00:23:27.599
See, in my own story, I didn't actually know where those 17 moments were going to lead me.
00:23:27.759 --> 00:23:29.119
I didn't really have a clue.
00:23:29.279 --> 00:23:33.200
It may seem clear now, all these years later, but but it wasn't then.
00:23:33.440 --> 00:23:35.519
I couldn't see the next 20 years.
00:23:35.759 --> 00:23:50.079
I couldn't have imagined the people I would meet and the places I would go and the books I would write and the messages I would offer and the extraordinary privilege of coaching leaders one-to-one all over the world.
00:23:50.319 --> 00:23:57.039
If you go all the way back to my point of origin to this chapter, all I had in my hands were 17 moments.
00:23:57.359 --> 00:24:09.039
But I want you to know those 17 moments were enough because they showed me something that for whatever reason I'd been unable to see all the time I was looking forward.
00:24:09.599 --> 00:24:13.759
Just like you, my life had been leaving clues.
00:24:14.400 --> 00:24:15.599
And so has yours.
00:24:15.839 --> 00:24:18.319
And you don't have to invent your purpose.
00:24:18.640 --> 00:24:20.799
You don't have to have the next chapter figured out.
00:24:21.200 --> 00:24:28.559
Maybe you just need to become quiet long enough to notice what has been speaking to you all along.
00:24:28.960 --> 00:24:41.680
You see, in a very real sense, what you were made for has already been written across the moments when you felt most fully alive and on purpose.
00:24:42.319 --> 00:24:52.000
And those are the moments that you and I can not only build our next chapter around, but can architect the remainder of our lives.
00:24:54.720 --> 00:24:56.880
Thanks for spending this time with me.
00:24:57.119 --> 00:25:05.680
I hope something from today's message stays with you and even more helps you lead and live with greater insight and with greater passion.
00:25:05.920 --> 00:25:12.799
If you'd like to continue this conversation, well, I'd love to have you join me for the Execution Insights newsletter.
00:25:12.960 --> 00:25:19.920
You'll find a link to the newsletter in the description below, as well as information if you want to book a coaching session with me.
00:25:20.160 --> 00:25:22.720
Until then, thanks again for being here.
00:25:22.799 --> 00:25:25.759
And remember, lead with vision.
