Lisa: Hello, everyone. Welcome to Midlife, the search for meaning in the middle. I am your host, Lisa Steadman. And today, today, we are joined by entertainment industry showrunner, executive producer and bestselling author, Erica Bryant. Welcome to Midlife, Erica.
ERIKA BRYANT: the Sozada sisters, are funny, ⁓ AF, unfiltered, ⁓ and just kind of come different spectrum of ages and stuff. So different lived experiences, like two of them were super single, one's recently divorced, another one's married with a new baby. And so they have these really interesting ⁓ layered perspectives and they're hot girls. Hey Lisa, how are you mama?
Lisa: ⁓ my God. I'm so good. I'm excited for our conversation today. You and I have lots of juicy conversations. And so now we're just like making it official. ⁓ But we haven't always like, I don't think I've ever talked to you about like your origin story. So I want to start there because it's really cool the trajectory of your career. ⁓
ERIKA BRYANT: Mm-hmm. So they also have this lived experience that's not like the average chick. it's like, wait, you were in the Maldives? They are. And I'm like, wait, you were in the Maldives on Monday and it's Thursday? Like, what? Okay, girl. So, you know, but it's really, really fun. We talk about everything about being a woman. So whether it's relationships and sex and marriage and motherhood, like all the things that it takes to be, you know, that we deal with being women ⁓ and just our experiences in dating. And that's always fun because
Lisa: Right. Yeah. And when you say hot, they're hot. So you got your start in Atlanta in the music industry, then Tyler Perry Studios, and then you got a two month gig that turned into like a full relocation to LA working on America's Next Top Model. Was there a moment where you realized that your career wasn't gonna necessarily be a straight line and did that excite or terrify you? Yeah.
ERIKA BRYANT: Again, they have these different cool stories that they share. So it's a really, really awesome, awesome podcast and vodcast. We'd love for you guys to tune in. It's at Suspective. That's S-I-S-P-E-C-T-I-V-E, like perspective, but suspected because they're sisters. Yeah. Yes. Well, I'll answer the second part first, it absolutely terrified me. I had been in the music business since I was 19 years old, working at LaFace Records, Patchwork Studios, Hickoh Music Publishing. These are all really major companies in the music hub in Atlanta, which was popping during this time in the 90s. so leaving that was definitely terrifying. And then taking on the two month gig, did not know how it was gonna go at all. My plan was to
Lisa: I love it. ⁓ my God. I can't wait to listen in. Okay. So you describe yourself as a content architect, which feels very midlife in the best way, like someone who's really taking everything you've done up until now and turning it into something bigger, bolder, more fully you. So can you break down what that means in practice? Yes!
ERIKA BRYANT: you just come to LA and figure it out from there. And I was like, okay, I hadn't worked in about eight months at that point. I had previously left Tyler Perry Company and I was also kind of just doing some PA gigs here and there. My first job was on Sierra, my goodies video. Shoot, I worked for 27 hours straight. I made $175, $175, but I got home that next morning and said I could do this the rest of my life because being on set, Yeah, I mean, I think it just really is being more ⁓ intentional and thoughtful around the projects that I do take on, the partnerships that I engage in, ⁓ again, protecting that piece that we talked about earlier in the conversation. And so it's architecting, you know, also because I build IP. I ideate like from an idea, I create a show from that, whether it's a format or, ⁓ you know, a competition series, whatever it might be. ⁓
Lisa: ⁓ my god Yes.
ERIKA BRYANT: invigorated me and it gave me this spark that I had never experienced before even in working in music. And so when I got the call from the casting director of America's Next Top Model, I was at Sephora with my girlfriend, just trying on makeup, because that's what girls do, just hanging out at the mall. And she's like, hey, can you be to LA in a week? And I had zero money. had, I think I had two houses at the time. My first house was about to go into like foreclosure. The second house, was like barely making my mortgage. I'm creating, architecting the whole world. And as a storyteller and as a showrunner, that's what I do by nature. I've been doing it and just never coined it that. And so you're architecting the world in which you want the world to see. So whether it's a story or a movie or a TV show or an ensemble cast, you're literally crafting this really beautiful world that you want people to kind of get a peer.
Lisa: Yes! Yeah.
ERIKA BRYANT: All I had was my mortgage money. took my mortgage money, bought a flight on Delta to get to LA. And that was 2006, January 1st. I have been here ever since, never went back. And that's all she wrote. So for me, I followed the magic. I just literally was flying by the seat of my pants. you can make plans, but I feel like life just kind of guides you when you kind of just lean in and the rest kind of falls into place. And that's how it all started. into and get a chance to kind of experience for a moment. So yeah, that's the architect in peace. Yeah.
Lisa: love that. And I, and I feel like, you know, we've talked about the state of the industry, like, I keep having this vision of like, we are our own little studios, you know, we are creating that kind of opportunity and economy for ourselves. So I make, I explore that every day. I'm like, what does it look like today? What, what do I need to pivot on? What do I need to lean into? What do I need to be creating? ⁓ my god. Yes. I you talk about being on set and it is such a magical place to be. I so get that. Like nothing like it, just collaborating with talented people and that energy and that buzz and that high and all of it. ⁓ I love that. So now you've been in this industry for 20 plus years. You've seen like so much, like, and here's the truth. And I find it exciting. find it daunting as hell, but I'm like, I'm up for this challenge. And I think it's just all the tools and timing are right for that. So that excites me.
ERIKA BRYANT: It's chef's kiss. It's so good. ⁓ And I think that's the cool thing about being creative is right. Like there is no rhyme or reason. There's no right or wrong. And yes, we all are our own brands and our own little mini studios. And especially like for me coming from Unscripted, you know, I did everything from being a PA to a segment producer to an associate producer. Like there's 15 levels between being a PA and being a showrunner. And I've done every wrong. So talk about letting go nonstop. Like, you know, but it took a lot of years to get there. Yeah.
Lisa: I love a good hustle. You and I have hustle mentality, hustle energy for days. But as we enter midlife and as we stroll through midlife, hustle needs to take on some changes for our nervous systems, but also just for our sanity. So I'm curious what your relationship with ambition looks like now compared to your 20s. night. That's amazing.
ERIKA BRYANT: but I know all of the jobs. And so when I'm sitting down, when I'm talking about being an architect, I know what it takes to do all of it. And so I'm like, okay, this is a cool idea, but is it a show? Can it really be a TV show? And sometimes you can have a great idea and everything is not a TV show. And so I get people reaching out like, hey, I have this idea, I wanna do this. And I'm like, that's not a show. That's a segment in a show. That's an episode of a show. That's not an actual show. And so.
Lisa: Yes.
ERIKA BRYANT: ⁓ I think it feels like alignment to me, right? Like the hustle, the hustle doesn't have the same, deliciousness that it did in my twenties. Right. And so I believe in working smarter, not harder. ⁓ you don't work 20 years doing something and not get to be a pro at it if you're, if you are paying attention and if you're invested. And so for me, I think the hustle kind of comes more into branding myself.
Lisa: Yeah, exactly. Yes.
ERIKA BRYANT: because of my lived experience and my career experience, I can actually go in and go, ⁓ yeah, no, that's not it. And so there's something to knowing all of the, all of the ins and outs and yes, kind of being that full studio piece. And for me also knowing that I can't do it all myself, nor do I want to at this point. I think there, we talked about like, ⁓ I want to hustle. Like there was a point where I was like, I'm going to do everything myself. I don't need to do that. I know the importance of
Lisa: Yeah.
ERIKA BRYANT: really kind of turning a lot of that tension inward, building my own ecosystem, becoming the brand that I am, whether it be around doing it scared my books or building that IP out, creating shows. It's kind of owning more of my talent versus farming it out as much. And of course I still have clients and things like that, but I think I'm hustling for me and for my happiness and my piece is what is like.
Lisa: Yes. No. Yeah.
ERIKA BRYANT: You know, being a good leader means that you to be a good leader, I think you have to be a great follower. And I've been a great follower. And so now I think I'm in a great leadership role where I can farm out and I can hire certain people and know where their strengths are and tap into that. Good leaders know that they don't have to do it all. They can find a good team and build them up and let their talents shine through as well. So that's that's where my mindset is at this point.
Lisa: Yes. Yes.
ERIKA BRYANT: non-negotiable at this point in life. And so, you know, it's priceless and, you know, I'm not going to just siphon that off easily. So I think for me that the hustle is like I've turned the volume down on that and turning up the, okay, what is balance? What is peace? What is alignment? Because that's when I'm really shining and that's when I show up my best and that's when I give my best, the best of myself to others, as well as my talents, you know, my gifts kind of seeing in that space.
Lisa: Right. I'm so with you there. I love that. All right. So I didn't know this initially, but are you Emmy nominated?
ERIKA BRYANT: Yeah, years and years ago for Extreme Makeover Home Edition, I was a producer on a couple of episodes that got nominated. We were up against, I think at the time, our top model and of course, RuPaul's Drag Race. RuPaul won, of course, as they always do. So yeah, but that was many, many years ago. So yeah, I've nominated for that forever ago. ⁓ Looking forward to a win at some point. I just directed my first documentary ⁓ late last year for Lady London. So yeah, always Lady London.
Lisa: I love that you said that because I think that I've talked about this on Substack, like the Stedman work ethic. My sister and I have such pride in work hard, work hard, work hard, make our dad proud because he's got that work ethic too. And it took me till my 50s to go, you know what? You could do less and you'd still do laps around most people. finding, to your point, Yes, you did. So good.
ERIKA BRYANT: Hmm, mm-hmm. Thank you, thank you, thank you. It was a three-part doc and it's one of those things too, Lisa, where I did not, when they came to me and said, well, you sure run this project around this really cool artist. I'm like, okay, sounds cool, yeah. And then I read into her and kind of did some research and I'm like, well, I would rather this be a documentary. And so I went to the network and I said, hey, I have an idea. I think this is great. But for the budget that you guys have, which was truncated.
Lisa: peace, finding groundedness, protecting the peace and allowing yourself to be enough and know your value from like, like, I don't got to prove anything anymore. So now I get to do what I love from a place that's more grounded and centered. And you said my favorite word brands. You really understand that building your own brand is the key because we can make so many other people look so great. Mm-hmm.
ERIKA BRYANT: I was like, how about we do a three-part doc versus a six-part half-hour series that she doesn't want to be a reality star anyway. And they're like, well, that's interesting. What is your vision? I was like, I'm glad you asked. right. And I went in and said, I want to direct it in Sherwin. And they were like, we love your vision, go for it. And so it was also that thing of just betting on myself, asking the question. wasn't, and they,
Lisa: Right. And there's nothing wrong with that. And being an independent producer, you are a brand. Yeah. I've got it.
ERIKA BRYANT: Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, absolutely, absolutely. No, it's a really interesting thing. You talk about the work ethic. I get mine from my father as well. And I understand now what I didn't understand before is that God is the best storyteller, right? Like the sense of humor is unmatched, right? They say the internet is unbeaten. Nobody can beat the way that God writes life and the way that people come in and out and situations unfold and the aha moments or the, my God, you can't believe what happened.
Lisa: Love this.
ERIKA BRYANT: They had no choice but to say no, I think, because I also was just like, here's the vision, here's what you want. And I did the work before they even could tell me no, and then they said yes. So, you know, shout out to, you know, championing yourself. And I had a friend that said that to me, like, you should just ask to direct it since you have a vision. And I was like, you know what, that's not a bad idea. And I did. And here we are today. So, yeah.
Lisa: Yes. OOF
ERIKA BRYANT: Like life is literally the best storybook ever and everyone's story is different and they're all interwoven. And so what I've learned in saying that is that, you know, we could make the best laid plans and work as hard as we want and like be on the hamster wheel, but the universe is always colluding for our best. And so I think what I have found is that when I'm actually spending more time and not working so hard and, and, know, grinding it out.
Lisa: I love that. And ooh, betting on yourself. Big thing I feel like throughout our lives, but midlife is the perfect time to bet on ourselves because we have cultivated a sense of trust with ourselves. We have done the work. We have lived experience. We have less Fs left to give. Like it's all the things, but then when? Thanks.
ERIKA BRYANT: And if not now, then when? Like, there's so much time left.
Lisa: I that's always been the case, but now more than ever. So I just love this. Okay. So how do you stay grounded and keep producing? Like, so I'm just going to say it, like the industry, there's a lot of gatekeeping and more so as things are shrinking and being in midlife, you know, I've encountered some, a lot of closed doors. ⁓
ERIKA BRYANT: Like I'm literally trying to embrace my soft girl era, my soft woman, my softness, my being the flow more, then things just kind of flow in that I didn't expect from random, random places, random people, random opportunities that, you know, it's literally the universe colluding on our behalf. And so I think when we're so busy doing all the work, we don't leave room for God to do his magic and the beautifulness of life to kind of blossom in us. And so I've.
Lisa: OOF! The industry doesn't necessarily reward black women quickly or fairly. ⁓ We've seen plenty of instances of that. So what keeps you going and how do you confront that?
ERIKA BRYANT: I try to like find balance in that it's hard, but I'm like, okay, just be easy. Take a day to veg and watch Netflix. Be easy, baby, be easy about it. It's all gonna work out. It all works out, you know? So yeah.
Lisa: Be easy, yes!
ERIKA BRYANT: I think there's something really magical and intrinsic and just innate about black women that we have a resilience, a resiliency that we're born with. And I think it's the superpower that God gave us, honestly, because he knew that we would need it in this world, especially in the entertainment world in general. And so what keeps me going is, you know, staying in tune with that, with my groundedness, with my prayer.
Lisa: So you have said so much that really resonates for me in this moment. I left my corporate job in August and it has been a lesson and a season for me to learn how to slow down because I'm like, ⁓ I'm going to do, all the things. And it's like, and I recognize, and the message that keeps coming through. you're affirming it for me and confirming it is do less girl. Like you're actually going to receive more when you do less. Yeah.
ERIKA BRYANT: you know, with meditation, with reading, with doing the self work, you know, and building myself up because we don't get the, we don't get the benefit or the privilege often of being built up from the outside, like others might. And so it really is this thing of just tapping into what I know is me. Mm-hmm.
Lisa: ⁓ and so like you and I worked on a project, ⁓ that yes, I could have turned around that script by the end of the year. And I was like, that's actually not going to serve the project or myself. So took, took some time in January to do it. And I'm so grateful because I love how it turned out. It would not have been that project in December.
ERIKA BRYANT: Mm-hmm.
Lisa: Right.
ERIKA BRYANT: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yeah, because you needed that time to let it ruminate and marinate and for it to kind of bake fully and then you kind of deliver it in a way that's like, this feels more full. Absolutely. Yeah. and what feels good to me and also knowing that there's a connective again, that connective tissue, whether it be me being a woman, a black woman, a human, you know, a short person, whatever, you know what I mean? Like just knowing that there's some kind of connectivity there and trusting that, you know, it's it's determination, it's resilience, it's trusting and that the knowing that I am have been many, many times and still
Lisa: Yes. Yeah. ⁓ so you wrote a book and you're writing the second book ⁓ called Doing It Scared. Such a relatable topic, especially for women in midlife who are contemplating reinvention of any kind or looking at what they've done or accomplished or who they've been so far and thinking, maybe I want it to be different moving forward. And that can be really exciting. It can also be really terrifying. So
ERIKA BRYANT: You know, I still am sometimes the only black voice in the room. ⁓ understanding the responsibility of that and not shying away from that, you know, and not, acquiescing in the areas that matter, like integrity matters and authenticity matters and, cultural relevance and, know, all these things like the, it's just, it all counts. so I think it's important to be a good person.
Lisa: Hmm.
ERIKA BRYANT: Mm-hmm.
Lisa: What was the fear you had to push through to write the book itself?
ERIKA BRYANT: ⁓ my gosh, so many fears actually. ⁓ knew in my twenties I wanted to write a book, but I didn't have enough lived experience. like, what am I going to write about? And so ⁓ during the pandemic, when the world stopped, it was like, ⁓ okay. I don't have FOMO. I have nowhere to be. No one's hanging out and I'm not missing hot brunches and cool hangout moments. So I can just sit down and do this thing. And, you know, I took 10 minutes per day and spent time with it. And sometimes that 10 minutes turned into two hours. In eight weeks, I had a book.
Lisa: Yeah. Do you ever feel like, I'm curious, do you ever feel like, I wish I didn't have that fucking load to carry?
ERIKA BRYANT: Yeah, but I also wouldn't have it any other way, Lisa. I wouldn't, because I think that...
Lisa: Okay, yeah.
ERIKA BRYANT: Doing it scared though, writing the book itself was fearful for me because I am used to being behind the camera. I am a producer. I'm used to telling other people's stories, not really incorporating my story. I'm one of those producers that I very much am a human. So I meet people where they're at and I tell them, hey, I've been through this too. So I'm very vulnerable in that way. And I think, putting it on paper and putting it out to the world for the world to see. The hardest road is the most rewarding road. And I'm not saying, I'm not saying working hard per se, but my character bar none babe, bar fucking none at this age. You know what I mean? I have had some lumps, some bumps, some heartbreaks, some betrayals, all the things in the business, outside the business, you name it. And bar none, like the growth that I have gotten from that and growing through it.
Lisa: Yeah. Right. Mm. Mm-hmm. Yes. Mm-hmm.
ERIKA BRYANT: was something that I was vehemently afraid of. ⁓ And then, you know, once I finished the book, I was coming up with the cover and I was like, ⁓ okay, I'm gonna do this. I spent months, like the book was done and it took me longer to figure out the cover than it took me to write the book. ⁓ Well, thanks, but I'll say this. ⁓ yes, I do, I do.
Lisa: Yes. Yeah.
ERIKA BRYANT: I don't want to be a soft ass pansy kind of, I can't take it. That's just not, so yeah, that's not my thing. And although I love the softness and the vulnerability and the beauty of being a receptor, because I feel like women were flowers, men are the bees, and we're supposed to be just be, we're supposed to be, and men are the doers. There's a beauty in that, but.
Lisa: Yeah. No, the fragility. Yeah, no. mean the cover is amazing. Oh wait, don't you have a copy? Wait, hold it up. Yeah, I mean, look at that cover!
ERIKA BRYANT: But when I tell you, I fought with me being on the cover. So my initial, it took so long to do the cover because I was like, it should be a figure walking through the woods and ominous woods and trees and something very deep, hot, choker or something that's not me, but something that I really aspire to. love those kinds of books that kind of, so I like, I wanted to be ominous and I wanted to be like moody. And my homeboy was like, he's the first one that said to me, John Good, who's an amazing author. He said, why don't you just
Lisa: Yeah.
ERIKA BRYANT: Yeah, I don't want to just give up the fight that I've had to, that's given me moxie. I have balls, I have courage. That's why I can do a book like, know, doing it scared where it's like, ⁓ I'm afraid as hell all the time. But that fear is actually the wind behind my back. It's like, okay.
Lisa: Right. Yes! Yeah! It's supporting you. Yep.
ERIKA BRYANT: afraid of this it's like push that means there's something better keep going keep effing going keep going so yeah that's where i'm at with it be on the cover, he's like, you're a beautiful girl, you have a great smile. He's like, and this is your brand, you are building your brand. I'm like, his first person that said this to me, was about seven years ago. And I'm like, what, really? So I'm like, okay, fine. So I'm like, I go through, I design it myself. My homeboy Spinks helps me put it all together. I self-published it and it was all like, like my own little baby that we don't have kids. And so for me, this was like another piece of that, right? Is like my story, putting it out to the world, sharing, you know, some of my childhood trauma.
Lisa: ⁓ thank you for sharing that. I really appreciate that. ⁓ Okay. Switching gears, you got married in midlife, which I honestly think is the time when most people should, because we know ourselves and we know who is a good partner for us. And we're grown and our spidey senses are, I think, more in tune. ⁓ But also, I have met a lot of midlife women who are like, I'm not settling, I'm not, there's a lot.
ERIKA BRYANT: Yeah. Yes. I did. Mm-hmm. Yeah. ⁓
Lisa: Yeah.
ERIKA BRYANT: sharing my ups and downs in my career. It was a lot that went into it. So the fears were stacking up. There were a substack in themselves. You know what mean? It was like multiple fears. But what I also knew that the underlying thread of the book was and always will be in my methodology and my brain is if I'm afraid of it, that means I have to do it. If there's fear attached to it, that means there's a blessing on the other side of it.
Lisa: of I'm not. And I'm not saying that every woman should be in partnership or get married. I think the single life, there's such a beauty in that. However, I have also seen how sometimes the I'm not is a wall for like not being vulnerable, not letting someone in. So I'm just curious, was there anything you felt you needed to unlearn?
ERIKA BRYANT: I'm sorry.
Lisa: Yes!
ERIKA BRYANT: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Lisa: Yes.
ERIKA BRYANT: And it's the fear that's trying to keep me from that. It's my best version of myself, my best lived version that's on the other side. And so until I do that thing, I won't live that life that I say that I want. And so that was what was propelling me. So I'm like, okay. And the thing is, is we're all gonna be scared. not saying get rid of the fear. I'm saying lean in, lean in, lean into the fear. Lean in, yeah. Yeah.
Lisa: to allow a great man into your life in midlife.
ERIKA BRYANT: Yeah, I had to, and I'm writing about this in the second book, which is doing is scared and love and relationships. So very much on topic with this question. ⁓ What I had to learn, and we've been together for many years, ⁓ it'll be 12 years and two weeks actually. So we got married 11 years in, engaged nine years in. So yeah, so very long relationship. But I think that what I had to unlearn was the strength.
Lisa: Yes. Yeah. Okay. No, it's always going to be there. Yeah. Get to know it. ⁓ So, God, you're giving me so much food for thought. So first of all, yes, love that you walked that journey for yourself because there was a you on the other side of that that wanted to meet you. And you could only meet that version by doing it. And it wasn't just for you because all the people who read the book then
ERIKA BRYANT: Right? This resiliency that I just talked about and how, you know, women in general in this day and age and especially black women too, we have this fierce independence, this fierce self-sufficiency, this fierce, ⁓ I can do it. I don't need a man. I don't need a man. And, and so that was definitely my mentality when we met. ⁓ and so I came into the relationship.
Lisa: No
ERIKA BRYANT: Mm-hmm. Yes.
Lisa: It's such a gift to them. I was writing a sub stack the other day about like, you you went to my film premiere and like hearing an audience respond to your film is like a different level of experience. And so what I compared it to was the times when people have come up with my books and showed me the pieces they've highlighted. You know, it's not just I'm signing their book. It's someone who's read the book and is like, I highlighted this because it was so meaningful. So like, Right? Yeah.
ERIKA BRYANT: very combative, very masculine, right? Very, very like, you're here because I want you here, you're not here because I need you here. Like the neck moving and all the things, right? And what I understand now that I did not understand then, which I talk about in this new book is men want to feel needed. Women,
Lisa: Yes, I've been there,
ERIKA BRYANT: Peace. It's done.
Lisa: Thanks! You write it, I believe we all write books for ourselves. And then that book finds an audience in a life of its own. And then the gift of that is that it transforms other people and it changes other people. that it's such a special experience. are my thing. like, I love that you stepped out from behind. ⁓
ERIKA BRYANT: Mmm. Listen. need to feel wanted. And so I was inadvertently taking away the basic need of a man. Like, I don't need you. And so hence the men are like, well, I'ma go somewhere where somebody needs me, even if it's, hey. And so I didn't realize how much I was pushing him away and how just me not being able to be soft. And that wasn't because I didn't want to be, I just never felt safe to be. I didn't know how to, and I'm still today. It is.
Lisa: Yes. to be in front as well, because it's not either or, it can be both. And you're on that journey and I love it for you. Yeah!
ERIKA BRYANT: Thank you. And that's something that I still, you know, I'm still scared about it. I still struggle with it, even doing the second book. And because what I'm trying to do and you've written multiple books for me, it's like, you know, I don't know that I want to put as much of my stuff at the forefront. But as you said, it is our experience. It's our testimony. And I have a little differing idea where I feel like these books are writing me. I'm not writing them. I'm channeling the books. Right. And so.
Lisa: Yeah. Yeah, didn't have a blueprint. Yeah.
ERIKA BRYANT: Yeah, and so I'm still learning that as I'm writing this book, I'm literally doing it scared and facing those things because it's still something that comes up because that's the way I was raised. I've been fending for myself since I was 17, 18 years old. You know what I mean? And so it's been like a really tough thing to do. So how do you put that down when that's all you've ever known? And am I safe with you? And so there's this responsibility that the partner has to have.
Lisa: Yes. ⁓ yes. So I call that you're getting, you're not making it up. You're getting it down. Yeah.
ERIKA BRYANT: Yeah, yeah. And so ⁓ I'm getting it down and I'm channeling it and it's coming out and I'm like, ⁓ this is tough. And, know, when you get to moments and right like right now I'm in chapter three of the new book and I was constipated creatively for about two weeks after some family stuff happened. And I'm just like, I couldn't write and I had to process. So once it processed and it was like, OK, download again. And I'm like, OK, here we go. Here we go. Here we go. So it's really interesting. It is a very cathartic.
Lisa: Yeah.
ERIKA BRYANT: the capability, the ability to provide a safe space for you to show up in that softness and that femininity. And then for us to have the courage to say, I'm gonna take off my cape and I'm gonna be in my feminine and let you, so there's a dance that happens there. And so, but you're right, I think there is a wall that women build up and it's, I do think it's rooted in fear. I do think it's rooted in previous disappointments. It's rooted in trauma.
Lisa: Yeah. Yeah.
ERIKA BRYANT: ⁓ experience to write a book and to channel a book. ⁓ And then when you're sharing with others, as you said, for them holding up the mirror and going, ⁓ I see myself in this, you know, and that's the beautiful part. And so it's the gift that keeps on giving, you know.
Lisa: Yes.
ERIKA BRYANT: past traumas, whether it be childhood or relationship trauma, whatever that might be. And I think there is, ⁓ there's just, we just have to be more, I think allowing of each other and love to be human. know, none of us are perfect. We're all working through our stuff and unpacking our stuff. And two things he said to me early on and how I was like, okay, then this might be a keeper. ⁓ But he challenged me. He was like, listen, there's only, this is gonna be kind of crass. So forgive me audience.
Lisa: Right. Yes! It really is. And I don't remember who said this, but whoever said it is so right. This specific is universal. So we can think we're the only person who's ever gone through X, Y, Z, but that specificity when people feel it is so beautiful. ⁓ I love, I just, I'm buzzing because this feels so right for you. And it is, you've done artists way. So Mmm.
ERIKA BRYANT: Yeah. But he's like, there's only room for one clock and balls in this relationship and I promise you mine are bigger. And I was like, well, I promise you they're bigger too, one. And two, copy that, know, as we say at TV business. so, and then the other thing that he said was is that, listen, we both have our stuff. You have your baggage, I have my baggage. It's a matter of do I wanna unpack my baggage with you? And do you wanna unpack your baggage with me? That's what true relationship is. Mm-hmm.
Lisa: I remember before I did Artist's Way in my 20s, it's Julia Cameron's book and program. if anyone hasn't done it and has questions, please feel free to reach out. It is life-changing. I've done it several times. I remember feeling like I had a story to tell, but the challenge I was having was the story required me to go into a deep, dark cave and I didn't know what was in there and I was scared to go in. That was the vision I had. Yeah.
ERIKA BRYANT: Yes.
Lisa: Yeah.
ERIKA BRYANT: best. You know, and so, and I was like, yeah, I want to unpack my suitcase with you and I want to, and I want to see what you have in your suitcase and I want to, shake it out and all of it. And so, and it's, it's not always been pretty. It's not always been sexy and all the things, but when you meet your partner and you find that partner, I think it's a matter of what, what works, what, you know I mean? Is there more good than bad? Is there, you know what I mean? I don't know. And so to each his own, I think that the women that
Lisa: Yes Yes. Be there for all of it. I was like, but I know it's gold. I just don't want to go in because it's scary. And ArtistWay gave me the flashlight and the tools and the pathway and the permission and all of the things so that I'm no longer afraid. When a new idea sparks, I get afraid of like, will I know everything I need to know to complete it, bring it to completion? That's the fear now is like,
ERIKA BRYANT: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. And the permission, and the permission. Yeah.
Lisa: Yeah. Yeah.
ERIKA BRYANT: say that they don't want the partnership. That's amazing. You know what I mean? think, there are.
Lisa: Yeah. There's so many other things. There's so many. mean, and I've said, if like anything ever happens to my husband, like I'm not leaving him so like he'll have to die. But if anything happens, I don't think I want to do this again, because I want to see what else is out there for me. You know, like me solo me.
ERIKA BRYANT: Okay.
Lisa: I know the idea and I trust and I'm going to follow, but will I know enough to get to the end? And you always do. But I just love that journey. Oh my God. Okay. I next want to talk about Iron Orchid Media because the name alone, this is the new, I think it's the new name of your company. It's pretty new. Yes. So the name alone feels very intentional to me.
ERIKA BRYANT: You Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, no, it's a beautiful thing. And I think the beautiful thing about this life is that there is no right or wrong. There is no blueprint. We can all write our own story the way that we want to. And as creators, you and I know that the best. can create a story out of nothing. So, yeah, I think to each his own, whatever floats your boat. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Lisa: Yeah.
ERIKA BRYANT: Yeah, it's a brand new ⁓
Lisa: Yes. ⁓ I love that. I love that. Okay. Two more questions. ⁓ I could talk to you all day. You know that. I want to know what it represents to you at this era. It feels very much like you're building something with a lot of meaning and intention behind it. So I'd love for you to share about.
ERIKA BRYANT: Yes, yes, I could talk to you all day girl, listen.
Lisa: Okay, what is something you know now? We've touched on a few things, but really standing firmly in this chapter of your life, what do you know now that you wish you could have whispered to a younger version of yourself?
ERIKA BRYANT: Yeah, I think what I'm building is it's the casing for little Erica, right? Little version of me, right? I'm building the house for her, right? The safety net for her. And Iron Orchid, the meaning behind it, initially I was trying to figure out what I would name the company. I wanted something strong. I'm a Virgo, I'm an earth sign. But I also wanted something that would represent the softness of me because ⁓ even though God placed you in this tiny package, because I'm a little thing, I'm five feet tall, like ⁓ 115 pounds.
Lisa: Yes! always say that to you, I'm like, give me tall person energy, I forget you're short like I am.
ERIKA BRYANT: Yeah, yeah, but it's be not small, be not small. You know, don't shrink yourself. Even though you're in this little package, your light shines so bright and don't be afraid to let it shine. Don't make yourself small. Don't, you know what I mean? Just you're bigger. You're bigger than all of it. Yeah, it's it's small, small things to a giant. You know what I mean? Small things to a giant. It's funny, my friends are like, ⁓ you're so soft, you're so girly. And I don't feel that way on the inside. You know what mean? I don't feel very feminine, but people see me that way. And so there's this interesting thing about.
Lisa: We are so similar. I feel like I missed girl day. It's taken me a long time to figure out how to be a girl.
ERIKA BRYANT: Right. so, right. And so my husband always talks about, you know, there's an interesting concept around how people see themselves and how the world sees them and where they intersect. And iron orchid media, I think is where I intersect, right? It's the soft, it's the hard, the iron and the softness of an orchid. The thing around an orchid, what I did not know before I took a deep dive and like went down the rabbit hole was that orchids, I had bought
Lisa: Yeah. He grand. Yeah. Hmm.
ERIKA BRYANT: Yeah. Yeah. Thank you.
Lisa: I love that. And yes, I affirm that for you. That's so true. I see your light. I see it shine and it's so beautiful. And you're just getting started. So. Yes!
ERIKA BRYANT: Thank you, sis. I know, right? This late in life, I'm like, listen, Lord, I'm like, you have to give me another 65 years. Sheesh. maybe two dozen in the past 10 years and I buy them from the grocery store they're like 30 bucks and I'm like ⁓ this so great and then I would kill them within like two months. I'm like I'm putting the ice cube in what am I doing wrong I don't know all the all the buds fall off and I'm like okay toss it. I threw away about two dozen orchids not knowing that none of them were dead right and so orchids don't die they just go dormant.
Lisa: Right on time. Right on time. So final question, what's bringing you joy right now?
ERIKA BRYANT: ⁓ man, ⁓ honestly, you I have not fully been in a full time show running position in about a year, probably a little bit longer. And that's bringing me a joy in the sense that I am privileged enough to have a husband who's able to, you know, provide and hold us steady financially and enjoying married life, enjoying newlywed life, which is the same, let's be clear. Like it's not that different.
Lisa: OOF
ERIKA BRYANT: And if you continue to light them and water them and soil them in the proper environment, they re bloom. So I had been throwing myself away all these different times, right? And doubting myself and making myself small and shrinking myself to fit in rooms and other people's rooms when I can build my own room, you know, and businesses or whatever it might be. And so the orchid is something that you can.
Lisa: Yeah. ⁓
ERIKA BRYANT: We've been together so long, guess. People are like, ⁓ my God, it's so different. I'm like, well, you should probably get to know your partner more because it shouldn't be that different. ⁓ But enjoying being in my skin and recrafting what it means to be a soft, feminine woman on my own terms in this time. And so I'm working on the second book and building this company from scratch. it's interesting what you can do.
Lisa: Yeah. Hahaha!
ERIKA BRYANT: It can grow on a mountain top or in a cave or near water. It is so resilient and it always reblooms. And when it reblooms, it's more beautiful than it was the first time. So it was very representative of me. You know what I mean? I've given up on myself. I've doubted myself in the past. You know what I mean? And it was just a constant reminder of you'll bloom again and you'll bloom better each time you bloom better, baby. It's okay. And the iron is just...
Lisa: Mmm.
ERIKA BRYANT: what I'm able to do because everyone's giftings are different, right? And so to be able to erect a company, launch a podcast and a website and all these things in a matter of like two to three months, when it couldn't do that with a group of people, it's just like, because I'm very, as I said, very decided. I know when I want something, I'm just bang, bang, bang. I'm an executor.
Lisa: All the things, yeah. Yeah.
ERIKA BRYANT: the earth, it is God, it is the ground that you stand on. And so it's just the both and they're intertwined. So iron orchid media.
Lisa: ⁓ my God. I love that so much. And even in this conversation, I'm like, this is why we're each other's people. Because I can so relate to the throwing ourselves away. That just really hit me really deep. Ooh, how many times as women have we done that? And I feel like being midlife is the ultimate permission slip to stop throwing yourself away, number one, because we're looking back at all the times we've done it. Mm-hmm.
ERIKA BRYANT: you can always want to, you know, involve, be involved with the, you know, a collective sometimes, but it's not always beneficial. You know, everyone doesn't work that way. And so, I don't know. I think that I forgot the question, child. I'm just talking. I forgot the question. Joy, I think just sitting in it, sitting in this life, you know, putting my, putting my feet in the sand, taking walks, cooking, you know, at home.
Lisa: Right. Right. was bringing you joy. Yeah, I feel that. But number two, that shift in hormones, which I believe is directly related to the zero fucks that start to enter in, ⁓ that really makes things so non-negotiable. I got a list of a couple of people in my head right now that I have been ⁓ in relationship with and allowing and settling in the relationship and almost going back to the well. And
ERIKA BRYANT: writing this second book is bringing me a joy because I'm also healing through a lot of stuff. ⁓ And yeah, and then also I think there's something there's a different level of and I think something that women do to each other, which saddens me is that we pressure each other when it's like, ⁓ you met a new guy, when you guys gonna move in, when you gonna get engaged, when you gonna get married, when you gonna have kids. There's this constant pressure that women put upon ourselves and on each other that men don't do.
Lisa: Yes, this is the time for you.
ERIKA BRYANT: Mm-hmm.
Lisa: And I know it's not serving me. And in this moment, I'm like, ⁓ yeah, I've been throwing myself away on that. All right, noted. Thank you for that note.
ERIKA BRYANT: Like at all, they don't talk about it. It's just, ⁓ I've been with her this many years. I'm going to get married. They're like, ⁓ good job. Like, it's just so easy. we have, right. We're like, ⁓ my God, we got to get there. And that's unfortunate. You know, it's sad that we do that to each other because then we don't give ourselves the room to kind of stretch and feel it out for ourselves and feel what works. We're rushing to the altar or we're rushing to the ring or rushing to the whatever. And then you.
Lisa: No.
ERIKA BRYANT: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yeah, and be more unapologetic. And the last thing I'll say about the orchid too is that it's also soft and it elevates anywhere that it goes. And it's beautiful. And not because it's not like, ⁓ it's not a common flower. It's not like roses. Like everyone's roses. Don't, orchid is very understated. It's very demure, but it's very elegant, right? And it's so soft and it's so almost like ethereal. then it just has this really beautiful.
Lisa: Yeah. So what's the next step? Yeah. Yeah. Mmhmm. Yes! Right. Rushing to the next step.
ERIKA BRYANT: And then you get lost in the sauce and truly lost. Like we lose ourselves oftentimes in those circumstances, in those situations. so finding your way back to who you are, you're like, I gotta get a divorce and I gotta find me again. And it's like, the point is just to do it at your own pace and don't get lost. And if he ain't it, then let him move on and let the right one flow in kind of a thing. yeah, so it's... I mean, as you see behind me, just there. They're just there. Yes. And so I don't know. just I felt like it really embodied all of the elements of me. And when I told my husband, he was like, I was like, I'm debating between, you know, I literally I or he's like, I don't work. He's like, that was the only flower at our wedding. He's like, what do you what's the argument? I was like, oh, no, I didn't think about that. You're right. You know, so it's it's fitting. It's fitting. And it feels it feels good. It feels good. Yeah.
Lisa: Gorgeous! Mm-hmm. Yeah.
ERIKA BRYANT: This life is wild, girl, but joy in everything, joy in this breath, joy in the blinking of this eye, joy in the beating of this heart, joy in this skin, joy even in the sad times and the bad times. I counted all joy as the Bible talks about. God does not put us through more than what we can handle. And I have the back of a hippopotamus because I've been through a lot, but here I am.
Lisa: It's so fitting. Yes.
ERIKA BRYANT: Yeah, thank you.
Lisa: That's amazing. I love that meaningfulness. I recently renamed my company. have been, since 2008, have been Woohoo Inc. Now, there was a time when Woohoo was perfect for me, but I have outgrown Woohoo for many years and I only kept it open because my tax guy was like, keep it open girl. And I was like, okay. So went to see him this year and he was like, why did you change? Now, what I changed it to is Steady Creative, which is Yes. Here you are.
ERIKA BRYANT: Yet I stand, here I stand, yeah. Yeah. Aww.
Lisa: I mean, mic drop moment right there. Thank you for joining us at Midlife today, Erica. who I am and what I'm all about. And it was, and I love it. And I don't give a fuck who doesn't like it, but what's funny is like my tax guy and his assistant are like, ⁓ we miss Woohoo Lisa. And I was like, I don't.
ERIKA BRYANT: Thank you for having me. It's been a pleasure. I feel like I got to know you even better. mean, now I'm like, I'm I'm like gonna call you after this like, girl, let's continue talking. Cause this has been great.
Lisa: Yeah. I know, right? I'm like, ⁓ know things. I know. I know. It's been amazing. So thank you, everyone who's watching or listening, however you consume our podcast or vodcast. We are appreciative. Let us know what resonates. Let us know what's ⁓ speaking to you about midlife. And we will let you know when Erica's new book comes out. So stay tuned for that. Thanks, everybody.
ERIKA BRYANT: Hahaha! Well because in your 20s you're woohoo! That's what... and it's like...
Lisa: Yeah. It made sense, but it almost felt like it came with a lot of baggage and a lot of anticipation that I was like, no, I'm like in my twenties and thirties, I thought the woohoo energy made me special. And what I've come to realize is being steady is what makes, is what gives me my power.
ERIKA BRYANT: Yes. Yes, and the old one's still on Amazon. Bye.
Lisa: That's right, doing it scared.
ERIKA BRYANT: Mmm. Absolutely. And it's also something to letting go of the old, right? Like I really, have this analogy in my head where, you know, everyone's like spinning from our business because things are slowing down, et cetera, half slowed down and, you know, they're holding on to whatever. And I always feel like, you know, when you're holding on to a ladder, you can't get higher unless you let go. So you got to let go of a rung to climb higher. And so I'm like, so let who go, let my, for my company, let it go. Like it's,
Lisa: Yeah. Yes. Let it go.
ERIKA BRYANT: You can hold on to it, hoping that and thinking that what you initially went into it, you know, that same fire, that same passion, the same mission even still still may matter, but it's just it's moved that the tide has changed and you have to roll. You have to roll with it. And so when things change, just let go and grab a hold of something new, you know.
Lisa: Yeah. Yes. Let go and easier said than done, honor what you're letting go of and get excited about the new. ⁓ Yes. ⁓ yes. Yes. You need to grieve. Absolutely. So you have produced some of the biggest unscripted shows, Real Housewives of Atlanta, Married to Medicine, I Unlove Fixed My Life.
ERIKA BRYANT: ⁓ And grieve it, right? Because there's a grieving process when letting go happens too. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Lisa: shows that really center around black women's lives and stories. I'd love to hear from your perspective. And again, I've worked with you on a project now, so I love the way you produce. I love the way your mind works. ⁓ What's it been like to be behind the camera shaping these narratives?
ERIKA BRYANT: I think it's been imperative. You know what I mean? I think that a lot of our stories, especially, you know, from a woman of color and being a black woman specifically, a lot of our stories are told from the outside in, from outside of the house. And it's from a POV that is not our own. And so for me to be a black woman and telling our stories from the inside of the house out and projecting it out makes all the difference in the world. I think they call it ethnographic storytelling. And
Lisa: Okay, yes.
ERIKA BRYANT: It's really this thing of like, you know, really having a groundedness, a knowing of the experience of what that is. And even if I didn't experience it myself, either my mother did or my cousin did or my aunt did or my best friend did. Like there's so much that that is ⁓ nuanced in any culture, in any culture. Right. And so it's important, I think, to tell those with an authentic
Lisa: Mm-hmm.
ERIKA BRYANT: lens and authentic passion ⁓ and from just a place of caring, know, and wanting to really get it across, you know, and so ⁓ it's meant everything to me. It's meant everything to me. never, I never planned to be a TV producer. This, you know, as Malcolm X said, didn't land on Plymouth Rock, Plymouth Rock landed on me. Like I did not, I did not.
Lisa: Yes.
ERIKA BRYANT: have this plan. just knew that television was my nanny growing up. I was a latchkey kid. I sat in front of TV and watched all the TV shows. And that's where I learned a lot about. Yes, exactly. Because it was actually decent programming, right? You had these different families on TV from Good Times to Family Ties to Silver Spoons to, you know, all these different, Jefferson's literally like all these different shows and.
Lisa: Same! Best babysitter ever. Jefferson's.
ERIKA BRYANT: It was a spectrum and it was all of these different people from different walks of life and their different experiences and different POVs and their conflicts and how they resolve those conflicts. And that was kind of where that was, that's what shaped my little mind at that age. And so I had no plans again, I was in the music business. And so this world kind of found me and me being in, I came to LA thinking that yeah, I was going to be on top model and being a casting producer or what have you. But in my mind, I always have been a scripted.
Lisa: Yeah. Yes.
ERIKA BRYANT: individual. am a scripted writer. That's probably why I have books. And so whenever that comes, I'm excited for that chapter to start, know, whenever, you know, the universe says yes. But in the meantime, I've been in this unscripted world learning real people stories, telling their stories from a perspective that is really raw and unfiltered and uncensored and helping them craft those so that, you know, hopefully they come out into the world and people can kind of see a full spectrum of who we are because
Lisa: Yes, you are.
ERIKA BRYANT: as Black women, we're not a monolith. We are literally, so many degrees, so many dimensions to us. yes, and we're still learning as we grow and that morphs, right? ⁓ I'm not the version of what a middle-aged woman looks like compared to what my mom's version of what it looked like back then. It's like we're constantly morphing and changing. And so it's important that these stories are told through a lens that is true.
Lisa: Right. So many different experiences. Yeah. Yes, true and takes care. You're like, this is literally like therapy, I swear. So I'm thinking about this because I've done a lot of corporate storytelling and I've never really thought about the connection between that and my scripted projects. I know they're both storytelling and I know I'm excellent at both, but what you've given me is a lens through which
ERIKA BRYANT: Yeah.
Lisa: I take the same care I do interviewing a real human as I do getting down voices in my head. And the real humans that I interact with inform the voices that come through.
ERIKA BRYANT: Yes ma'am. Yes ma'am. Exactly. ⁓
Lisa: You just unlocked something. that and I really want to acknowledge ⁓ the project that we're working on together and the backstories you created for those characters that informed how I wrote the story. Like you gave them such lived experience. ⁓ And I'm already thinking about the sequel because I care so much about these characters now.
ERIKA BRYANT: ⁓ thank you. And I think it's because the human experience, mean, I know people, I'm a black woman, so, you of course I know color and people are like, ⁓ I don't know color, which you can't be colorblind either. But I think we bleed the same blood in the sense that the human experience is lived from different POVs and from different angles, right? But there's a thread that pain is pain and death is death and mourning is mourning and grief and all these different love is love and
Lisa: Yeah.
ERIKA BRYANT: you know, in all the spectrums. And so I think that's where that connectivity happens when you're like, interview people and then that informs the stories that are how I craft my characters. Yeah, same thing, same thing. yeah. And it's been a pleasure working with you on this project. I mean, you have been able to really, ⁓ really take the information and kind of like spell it out in a really beautiful way. It's a tapestry. Can't wait to see it on screen, you know, God willing, you know? Yeah, yeah.
Lisa: It's a beautiful story. I love that. Thank you. So you just launched a vodcast, Suspective, through your company, Iron Orchid Media. So I want to hear about that.
ERIKA BRYANT: Yes. ⁓ yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. is a vodcast and podcast. ⁓ It's about, it incorporates four women and their unapologetic, unfiltered, wild voices. ⁓ They're four They were actually part of a television show that I show ran for Hulu ⁓ about three ago called Secrets in Sisterhood. ⁓ And it's Afghan sisters ⁓ whose mother was from war-torn Afghanistan who came to America ⁓ with three or four of her daughters in tow at the time, came to California with her husband eventually, and then they had a total of 10 daughters. And so that was the TV show. We didn't get the pickup for season two. We never got canceled, but they never came back and said, hey, we're gonna start season two. So we were, you know, repitching, trying to figure out what that was gonna look like. And that was from a company called Half Yard. They were trying to figure out where our next home would be, whether it would be Hulu or somewhere else. and nothing ever came. And so the girls came to me, the sisters, and we're like, hey, Erica, like, we really want to do a podcast. I'm like, great, go for it. And like, well, we need your help, you know? And I'm like, okay, well, I'm happy to come on and kind of do a whole format for it and let's shoot it and I can create the whole vision for it. So we locked arms. I am, you know, it's under my production company, Iron Orchid. And we went into this, to the lab and, know, I took a lot of like hours on my end.
Lisa: Yeah.
ERIKA BRYANT: probably all in at this point, over 250 hours of just time of writing all the outlines and then producing the actual episodes and then watching all the raw and then editing all the raw with an edit.
Lisa: Wow.
ERIKA BRYANT: the Sozada sisters, are funny, ⁓ AF, unfiltered, ⁓ and just kind of come different spectrum of ages and stuff. So different lived experiences, like two of them were super single, one's recently divorced, another one's married with a new baby. And so they have these really interesting ⁓ layered perspectives and they're hot girls. Hey Lisa, how are you mama?
Lisa: ⁓ my God. I'm so good. I'm excited for our conversation today. You and I have lots of juicy conversations. And so now we're just like making it official. ⁓ But we haven't always like, I don't think I've ever talked to you about like your origin story. So I want to start there because it's really cool the trajectory of your career. ⁓
ERIKA BRYANT: Mm-hmm. So they also have this lived experience that's not like the average chick. it's like, wait, you were in the Maldives? They are. And I'm like, wait, you were in the Maldives on Monday and it's Thursday? Like, what? Okay, girl. So, you know, but it's really, really fun. We talk about everything about being a woman. So whether it's relationships and sex and marriage and motherhood, like all the things that it takes to be, you know, that we deal with being women ⁓ and just our experiences in dating. And that's always fun because
Lisa: Right. Yeah. And when you say hot, they're hot. So you got your start in Atlanta in the music industry, then Tyler Perry Studios, and then you got a two month gig that turned into like a full relocation to LA working on America's Next Top Model. Was there a moment where you realized that your career wasn't gonna necessarily be a straight line and did that excite or terrify you? Yeah.
ERIKA BRYANT: Again, they have these different cool stories that they share. So it's a really, really awesome, awesome podcast and vodcast. We'd love for you guys to tune in. It's at Suspective. That's S-I-S-P-E-C-T-I-V-E, like perspective, but suspected because they're sisters. Yeah. Yes. Well, I'll answer the second part first, it absolutely terrified me. I had been in the music business since I was 19 years old, working at LaFace Records, Patchwork Studios, Hickoh Music Publishing. These are all really major companies in the music hub in Atlanta, which was popping during this time in the 90s. so leaving that was definitely terrifying. And then taking on the two month gig, did not know how it was gonna go at all. My plan was to
Lisa: I love it. ⁓ my God. I can't wait to listen in. Okay. So you describe yourself as a content architect, which feels very midlife in the best way, like someone who's really taking everything you've done up until now and turning it into something bigger, bolder, more fully you. So can you break down what that means in practice? Yes!
ERIKA BRYANT: you just come to LA and figure it out from there. And I was like, okay, I hadn't worked in about eight months at that point. I had previously left Tyler Perry Company and I was also kind of just doing some PA gigs here and there. My first job was on Sierra, my goodies video. Shoot, I worked for 27 hours straight. I made $175, $175, but I got home that next morning and said I could do this the rest of my life because being on set, Yeah, I mean, I think it just really is being more ⁓ intentional and thoughtful around the projects that I do take on, the partnerships that I engage in, ⁓ again, protecting that piece that we talked about earlier in the conversation. And so it's architecting, you know, also because I build IP. I ideate like from an idea, I create a show from that, whether it's a format or, ⁓ you know, a competition series, whatever it might be. ⁓
Lisa: ⁓ my god Yes.
ERIKA BRYANT: invigorated me and it gave me this spark that I had never experienced before even in working in music. And so when I got the call from the casting director of America's Next Top Model, I was at Sephora with my girlfriend, just trying on makeup, because that's what girls do, just hanging out at the mall. And she's like, hey, can you be to LA in a week? And I had zero money. had, I think I had two houses at the time. My first house was about to go into like foreclosure. The second house, was like barely making my mortgage. I'm creating, architecting the whole world. And as a storyteller and as a showrunner, that's what I do by nature. I've been doing it and just never coined it that. And so you're architecting the world in which you want the world to see. So whether it's a story or a movie or a TV show or an ensemble cast, you're literally crafting this really beautiful world that you want people to kind of get a peer.
Lisa: Yes! Yeah.
ERIKA BRYANT: All I had was my mortgage money. took my mortgage money, bought a flight on Delta to get to LA. And that was 2006, January 1st. I have been here ever since, never went back. And that's all she wrote. So for me, I followed the magic. I just literally was flying by the seat of my pants. you can make plans, but I feel like life just kind of guides you when you kind of just lean in and the rest kind of falls into place. And that's how it all started. into and get a chance to kind of experience for a moment. So yeah, that's the architect in peace. Yeah.
Lisa: love that. And I, and I feel like, you know, we've talked about the state of the industry, like, I keep having this vision of like, we are our own little studios, you know, we are creating that kind of opportunity and economy for ourselves. So I make, I explore that every day. I'm like, what does it look like today? What, what do I need to pivot on? What do I need to lean into? What do I need to be creating? ⁓ my god. Yes. I you talk about being on set and it is such a magical place to be. I so get that. Like nothing like it, just collaborating with talented people and that energy and that buzz and that high and all of it. ⁓ I love that. So now you've been in this industry for 20 plus years. You've seen like so much, like, and here's the truth. And I find it exciting. find it daunting as hell, but I'm like, I'm up for this challenge. And I think it's just all the tools and timing are right for that. So that excites me.
ERIKA BRYANT: It's chef's kiss. It's so good. ⁓ And I think that's the cool thing about being creative is right. Like there is no rhyme or reason. There's no right or wrong. And yes, we all are our own brands and our own little mini studios. And especially like for me coming from Unscripted, you know, I did everything from being a PA to a segment producer to an associate producer. Like there's 15 levels between being a PA and being a showrunner. And I've done every wrong. So talk about letting go nonstop. Like, you know, but it took a lot of years to get there. Yeah.
Lisa: I love a good hustle. You and I have hustle mentality, hustle energy for days. But as we enter midlife and as we stroll through midlife, hustle needs to take on some changes for our nervous systems, but also just for our sanity. So I'm curious what your relationship with ambition looks like now compared to your 20s. night. That's amazing.
ERIKA BRYANT: but I know all of the jobs. And so when I'm sitting down, when I'm talking about being an architect, I know what it takes to do all of it. And so I'm like, okay, this is a cool idea, but is it a show? Can it really be a TV show? And sometimes you can have a great idea and everything is not a TV show. And so I get people reaching out like, hey, I have this idea, I wanna do this. And I'm like, that's not a show. That's a segment in a show. That's an episode of a show. That's not an actual show. And so.
Lisa: Yes.
ERIKA BRYANT: ⁓ I think it feels like alignment to me, right? Like the hustle, the hustle doesn't have the same, deliciousness that it did in my twenties. Right. And so I believe in working smarter, not harder. ⁓ you don't work 20 years doing something and not get to be a pro at it if you're, if you are paying attention and if you're invested. And so for me, I think the hustle kind of comes more into branding myself.
Lisa: Yeah, exactly. Yes.
ERIKA BRYANT: because of my lived experience and my career experience, I can actually go in and go, ⁓ yeah, no, that's not it. And so there's something to knowing all of the, all of the ins and outs and yes, kind of being that full studio piece. And for me also knowing that I can't do it all myself, nor do I want to at this point. I think there, we talked about like, ⁓ I want to hustle. Like there was a point where I was like, I'm going to do everything myself. I don't need to do that. I know the importance of
Lisa: Yeah.
ERIKA BRYANT: really kind of turning a lot of that tension inward, building my own ecosystem, becoming the brand that I am, whether it be around doing it scared my books or building that IP out, creating shows. It's kind of owning more of my talent versus farming it out as much. And of course I still have clients and things like that, but I think I'm hustling for me and for my happiness and my piece is what is like.
Lisa: Yes. No. Yeah.
ERIKA BRYANT: You know, being a good leader means that you to be a good leader, I think you have to be a great follower. And I've been a great follower. And so now I think I'm in a great leadership role where I can farm out and I can hire certain people and know where their strengths are and tap into that. Good leaders know that they don't have to do it all. They can find a good team and build them up and let their talents shine through as well. So that's that's where my mindset is at this point.
Lisa: Yes. Yes.
ERIKA BRYANT: non-negotiable at this point in life. And so, you know, it's priceless and, you know, I'm not going to just siphon that off easily. So I think for me that the hustle is like I've turned the volume down on that and turning up the, okay, what is balance? What is peace? What is alignment? Because that's when I'm really shining and that's when I show up my best and that's when I give my best, the best of myself to others, as well as my talents, you know, my gifts kind of seeing in that space.
Lisa: Right. I'm so with you there. I love that. All right. So I didn't know this initially, but are you Emmy nominated?
ERIKA BRYANT: Yeah, years and years ago for Extreme Makeover Home Edition, I was a producer on a couple of episodes that got nominated. We were up against, I think at the time, our top model and of course, RuPaul's Drag Race. RuPaul won, of course, as they always do. So yeah, but that was many, many years ago. So yeah, I've nominated for that forever ago. ⁓ Looking forward to a win at some point. I just directed my first documentary ⁓ late last year for Lady London. So yeah, always Lady London.
Lisa: I love that you said that because I think that I've talked about this on Substack, like the Stedman work ethic. My sister and I have such pride in work hard, work hard, work hard, make our dad proud because he's got that work ethic too. And it took me till my 50s to go, you know what? You could do less and you'd still do laps around most people. finding, to your point, Yes, you did. So good.
ERIKA BRYANT: Hmm, mm-hmm. Thank you, thank you, thank you. It was a three-part doc and it's one of those things too, Lisa, where I did not, when they came to me and said, well, you sure run this project around this really cool artist. I'm like, okay, sounds cool, yeah. And then I read into her and kind of did some research and I'm like, well, I would rather this be a documentary. And so I went to the network and I said, hey, I have an idea. I think this is great. But for the budget that you guys have, which was truncated.
Lisa: peace, finding groundedness, protecting the peace and allowing yourself to be enough and know your value from like, like, I don't got to prove anything anymore. So now I get to do what I love from a place that's more grounded and centered. And you said my favorite word brands. You really understand that building your own brand is the key because we can make so many other people look so great. Mm-hmm.
ERIKA BRYANT: I was like, how about we do a three-part doc versus a six-part half-hour series that she doesn't want to be a reality star anyway. And they're like, well, that's interesting. What is your vision? I was like, I'm glad you asked. right. And I went in and said, I want to direct it in Sherwin. And they were like, we love your vision, go for it. And so it was also that thing of just betting on myself, asking the question. wasn't, and they,
Lisa: Right. And there's nothing wrong with that. And being an independent producer, you are a brand. Yeah. I've got it.
ERIKA BRYANT: Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, absolutely, absolutely. No, it's a really interesting thing. You talk about the work ethic. I get mine from my father as well. And I understand now what I didn't understand before is that God is the best storyteller, right? Like the sense of humor is unmatched, right? They say the internet is unbeaten. Nobody can beat the way that God writes life and the way that people come in and out and situations unfold and the aha moments or the, my God, you can't believe what happened.
Lisa: Love this.
ERIKA BRYANT: They had no choice but to say no, I think, because I also was just like, here's the vision, here's what you want. And I did the work before they even could tell me no, and then they said yes. So, you know, shout out to, you know, championing yourself. And I had a friend that said that to me, like, you should just ask to direct it since you have a vision. And I was like, you know what, that's not a bad idea. And I did. And here we are today. So, yeah.
Lisa: Yes. OOF
ERIKA BRYANT: Like life is literally the best storybook ever and everyone's story is different and they're all interwoven. And so what I've learned in saying that is that, you know, we could make the best laid plans and work as hard as we want and like be on the hamster wheel, but the universe is always colluding for our best. And so I think what I have found is that when I'm actually spending more time and not working so hard and, and, know, grinding it out.
Lisa: I love that. And ooh, betting on yourself. Big thing I feel like throughout our lives, but midlife is the perfect time to bet on ourselves because we have cultivated a sense of trust with ourselves. We have done the work. We have lived experience. We have less Fs left to give. Like it's all the things, but then when? Thanks.
ERIKA BRYANT: And if not now, then when? Like, there's so much time left.
Lisa: I that's always been the case, but now more than ever. So I just love this. Okay. So how do you stay grounded and keep producing? Like, so I'm just going to say it, like the industry, there's a lot of gatekeeping and more so as things are shrinking and being in midlife, you know, I've encountered some, a lot of closed doors. ⁓
ERIKA BRYANT: Like I'm literally trying to embrace my soft girl era, my soft woman, my softness, my being the flow more, then things just kind of flow in that I didn't expect from random, random places, random people, random opportunities that, you know, it's literally the universe colluding on our behalf. And so I think when we're so busy doing all the work, we don't leave room for God to do his magic and the beautifulness of life to kind of blossom in us. And so I've.
Lisa: OOF! The industry doesn't necessarily reward black women quickly or fairly. ⁓ We've seen plenty of instances of that. So what keeps you going and how do you confront that?
ERIKA BRYANT: I try to like find balance in that it's hard, but I'm like, okay, just be easy. Take a day to veg and watch Netflix. Be easy, baby, be easy about it. It's all gonna work out. It all works out, you know? So yeah.
Lisa: Be easy, yes!
ERIKA BRYANT: I think there's something really magical and intrinsic and just innate about black women that we have a resilience, a resiliency that we're born with. And I think it's the superpower that God gave us, honestly, because he knew that we would need it in this world, especially in the entertainment world in general. And so what keeps me going is, you know, staying in tune with that, with my groundedness, with my prayer.
Lisa: So you have said so much that really resonates for me in this moment. I left my corporate job in August and it has been a lesson and a season for me to learn how to slow down because I'm like, ⁓ I'm going to do, all the things. And it's like, and I recognize, and the message that keeps coming through. you're affirming it for me and confirming it is do less girl. Like you're actually going to receive more when you do less. Yeah.
ERIKA BRYANT: you know, with meditation, with reading, with doing the self work, you know, and building myself up because we don't get the, we don't get the benefit or the privilege often of being built up from the outside, like others might. And so it really is this thing of just tapping into what I know is me. Mm-hmm.
Lisa: ⁓ and so like you and I worked on a project, ⁓ that yes, I could have turned around that script by the end of the year. And I was like, that's actually not going to serve the project or myself. So took, took some time in January to do it. And I'm so grateful because I love how it turned out. It would not have been that project in December.
ERIKA BRYANT: Mm-hmm.
Lisa: Right.
ERIKA BRYANT: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yeah, because you needed that time to let it ruminate and marinate and for it to kind of bake fully and then you kind of deliver it in a way that's like, this feels more full. Absolutely. Yeah. and what feels good to me and also knowing that there's a connective again, that connective tissue, whether it be me being a woman, a black woman, a human, you know, a short person, whatever, you know what I mean? Like just knowing that there's some kind of connectivity there and trusting that, you know, it's it's determination, it's resilience, it's trusting and that the knowing that I am have been many, many times and still
Lisa: Yes. Yeah. ⁓ so you wrote a book and you're writing the second book ⁓ called Doing It Scared. Such a relatable topic, especially for women in midlife who are contemplating reinvention of any kind or looking at what they've done or accomplished or who they've been so far and thinking, maybe I want it to be different moving forward. And that can be really exciting. It can also be really terrifying. So
ERIKA BRYANT: You know, I still am sometimes the only black voice in the room. ⁓ understanding the responsibility of that and not shying away from that, you know, and not, acquiescing in the areas that matter, like integrity matters and authenticity matters and, cultural relevance and, know, all these things like the, it's just, it all counts. so I think it's important to be a good person.
Lisa: Hmm.
ERIKA BRYANT: Mm-hmm.
Lisa: What was the fear you had to push through to write the book itself?
ERIKA BRYANT: ⁓ my gosh, so many fears actually. ⁓ knew in my twenties I wanted to write a book, but I didn't have enough lived experience. like, what am I going to write about? And so ⁓ during the pandemic, when the world stopped, it was like, ⁓ okay. I don't have FOMO. I have nowhere to be. No one's hanging out and I'm not missing hot brunches and cool hangout moments. So I can just sit down and do this thing. And, you know, I took 10 minutes per day and spent time with it. And sometimes that 10 minutes turned into two hours. In eight weeks, I had a book.
Lisa: Yeah. Do you ever feel like, I'm curious, do you ever feel like, I wish I didn't have that fucking load to carry?
ERIKA BRYANT: Yeah, but I also wouldn't have it any other way, Lisa. I wouldn't, because I think that...
Lisa: Okay, yeah.
ERIKA BRYANT: Doing it scared though, writing the book itself was fearful for me because I am used to being behind the camera. I am a producer. I'm used to telling other people's stories, not really incorporating my story. I'm one of those producers that I very much am a human. So I meet people where they're at and I tell them, hey, I've been through this too. So I'm very vulnerable in that way. And I think, putting it on paper and putting it out to the world for the world to see. The hardest road is the most rewarding road. And I'm not saying, I'm not saying working hard per se, but my character bar none babe, bar fucking none at this age. You know what I mean? I have had some lumps, some bumps, some heartbreaks, some betrayals, all the things in the business, outside the business, you name it. And bar none, like the growth that I have gotten from that and growing through it.
Lisa: Yeah. Right. Mm. Mm-hmm. Yes. Mm-hmm.
ERIKA BRYANT: was something that I was vehemently afraid of. ⁓ And then, you know, once I finished the book, I was coming up with the cover and I was like, ⁓ okay, I'm gonna do this. I spent months, like the book was done and it took me longer to figure out the cover than it took me to write the book. ⁓ Well, thanks, but I'll say this. ⁓ yes, I do, I do.
Lisa: Yes. Yeah.
ERIKA BRYANT: I don't want to be a soft ass pansy kind of, I can't take it. That's just not, so yeah, that's not my thing. And although I love the softness and the vulnerability and the beauty of being a receptor, because I feel like women were flowers, men are the bees, and we're supposed to be just be, we're supposed to be, and men are the doers. There's a beauty in that, but.
Lisa: Yeah. No, the fragility. Yeah, no. mean the cover is amazing. Oh wait, don't you have a copy? Wait, hold it up. Yeah, I mean, look at that cover!
ERIKA BRYANT: But when I tell you, I fought with me being on the cover. So my initial, it took so long to do the cover because I was like, it should be a figure walking through the woods and ominous woods and trees and something very deep, hot, choker or something that's not me, but something that I really aspire to. love those kinds of books that kind of, so I like, I wanted to be ominous and I wanted to be like moody. And my homeboy was like, he's the first one that said to me, John Good, who's an amazing author. He said, why don't you just
Lisa: Yeah.
ERIKA BRYANT: Yeah, I don't want to just give up the fight that I've had to, that's given me moxie. I have balls, I have courage. That's why I can do a book like, know, doing it scared where it's like, ⁓ I'm afraid as hell all the time. But that fear is actually the wind behind my back. It's like, okay.
Lisa: Right. Yes! Yeah! It's supporting you. Yep.
ERIKA BRYANT: afraid of this it's like push that means there's something better keep going keep effing going keep going so yeah that's where i'm at with it be on the cover, he's like, you're a beautiful girl, you have a great smile. He's like, and this is your brand, you are building your brand. I'm like, his first person that said this to me, was about seven years ago. And I'm like, what, really? So I'm like, okay, fine. So I'm like, I go through, I design it myself. My homeboy Spinks helps me put it all together. I self-published it and it was all like, like my own little baby that we don't have kids. And so for me, this was like another piece of that, right? Is like my story, putting it out to the world, sharing, you know, some of my childhood trauma.
Lisa: ⁓ thank you for sharing that. I really appreciate that. ⁓ Okay. Switching gears, you got married in midlife, which I honestly think is the time when most people should, because we know ourselves and we know who is a good partner for us. And we're grown and our spidey senses are, I think, more in tune. ⁓ But also, I have met a lot of midlife women who are like, I'm not settling, I'm not, there's a lot.
ERIKA BRYANT: Yeah. Yes. I did. Mm-hmm. Yeah. ⁓
Lisa: Yeah.
ERIKA BRYANT: sharing my ups and downs in my career. It was a lot that went into it. So the fears were stacking up. There were a substack in themselves. You know what mean? It was like multiple fears. But what I also knew that the underlying thread of the book was and always will be in my methodology and my brain is if I'm afraid of it, that means I have to do it. If there's fear attached to it, that means there's a blessing on the other side of it.
Lisa: of I'm not. And I'm not saying that every woman should be in partnership or get married. I think the single life, there's such a beauty in that. However, I have also seen how sometimes the I'm not is a wall for like not being vulnerable, not letting someone in. So I'm just curious, was there anything you felt you needed to unlearn?
ERIKA BRYANT: I'm sorry.
Lisa: Yes!
ERIKA BRYANT: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Lisa: Yes.
ERIKA BRYANT: And it's the fear that's trying to keep me from that. It's my best version of myself, my best lived version that's on the other side. And so until I do that thing, I won't live that life that I say that I want. And so that was what was propelling me. So I'm like, okay. And the thing is, is we're all gonna be scared. not saying get rid of the fear. I'm saying lean in, lean in, lean into the fear. Lean in, yeah. Yeah.
Lisa: to allow a great man into your life in midlife.
ERIKA BRYANT: Yeah, I had to, and I'm writing about this in the second book, which is doing is scared and love and relationships. So very much on topic with this question. ⁓ What I had to learn, and we've been together for many years, ⁓ it'll be 12 years and two weeks actually. So we got married 11 years in, engaged nine years in. So yeah, so very long relationship. But I think that what I had to unlearn was the strength.
Lisa: Yes. Yeah. Okay. No, it's always going to be there. Yeah. Get to know it. ⁓ So, God, you're giving me so much food for thought. So first of all, yes, love that you walked that journey for yourself because there was a you on the other side of that that wanted to meet you. And you could only meet that version by doing it. And it wasn't just for you because all the people who read the book then
ERIKA BRYANT: Right? This resiliency that I just talked about and how, you know, women in general in this day and age and especially black women too, we have this fierce independence, this fierce self-sufficiency, this fierce, ⁓ I can do it. I don't need a man. I don't need a man. And, and so that was definitely my mentality when we met. ⁓ and so I came into the relationship.
Lisa: No
ERIKA BRYANT: Mm-hmm. Yes.
Lisa: It's such a gift to them. I was writing a sub stack the other day about like, you you went to my film premiere and like hearing an audience respond to your film is like a different level of experience. And so what I compared it to was the times when people have come up with my books and showed me the pieces they've highlighted. You know, it's not just I'm signing their book. It's someone who's read the book and is like, I highlighted this because it was so meaningful. So like, Right? Yeah.
ERIKA BRYANT: very combative, very masculine, right? Very, very like, you're here because I want you here, you're not here because I need you here. Like the neck moving and all the things, right? And what I understand now that I did not understand then, which I talk about in this new book is men want to feel needed. Women,
Lisa: Yes, I've been there,
ERIKA BRYANT: Peace. It's done.
Lisa: Thanks! You write it, I believe we all write books for ourselves. And then that book finds an audience in a life of its own. And then the gift of that is that it transforms other people and it changes other people. that it's such a special experience. are my thing. like, I love that you stepped out from behind. ⁓
ERIKA BRYANT: Mmm. Listen. need to feel wanted. And so I was inadvertently taking away the basic need of a man. Like, I don't need you. And so hence the men are like, well, I'ma go somewhere where somebody needs me, even if it's, hey. And so I didn't realize how much I was pushing him away and how just me not being able to be soft. And that wasn't because I didn't want to be, I just never felt safe to be. I didn't know how to, and I'm still today. It is.
Lisa: Yes. to be in front as well, because it's not either or, it can be both. And you're on that journey and I love it for you. Yeah!
ERIKA BRYANT: Thank you. And that's something that I still, you know, I'm still scared about it. I still struggle with it, even doing the second book. And because what I'm trying to do and you've written multiple books for me, it's like, you know, I don't know that I want to put as much of my stuff at the forefront. But as you said, it is our experience. It's our testimony. And I have a little differing idea where I feel like these books are writing me. I'm not writing them. I'm channeling the books. Right. And so.
Lisa: Yeah. Yeah, didn't have a blueprint. Yeah.
ERIKA BRYANT: Yeah, and so I'm still learning that as I'm writing this book, I'm literally doing it scared and facing those things because it's still something that comes up because that's the way I was raised. I've been fending for myself since I was 17, 18 years old. You know what I mean? And so it's been like a really tough thing to do. So how do you put that down when that's all you've ever known? And am I safe with you? And so there's this responsibility that the partner has to have.
Lisa: Yes. ⁓ yes. So I call that you're getting, you're not making it up. You're getting it down. Yeah.
ERIKA BRYANT: Yeah, yeah. And so ⁓ I'm getting it down and I'm channeling it and it's coming out and I'm like, ⁓ this is tough. And, know, when you get to moments and right like right now I'm in chapter three of the new book and I was constipated creatively for about two weeks after some family stuff happened. And I'm just like, I couldn't write and I had to process. So once it processed and it was like, OK, download again. And I'm like, OK, here we go. Here we go. Here we go. So it's really interesting. It is a very cathartic.
Lisa: Yeah.
ERIKA BRYANT: the capability, the ability to provide a safe space for you to show up in that softness and that femininity. And then for us to have the courage to say, I'm gonna take off my cape and I'm gonna be in my feminine and let you, so there's a dance that happens there. And so, but you're right, I think there is a wall that women build up and it's, I do think it's rooted in fear. I do think it's rooted in previous disappointments. It's rooted in trauma.
Lisa: Yeah. Yeah.
ERIKA BRYANT: ⁓ experience to write a book and to channel a book. ⁓ And then when you're sharing with others, as you said, for them holding up the mirror and going, ⁓ I see myself in this, you know, and that's the beautiful part. And so it's the gift that keeps on giving, you know.
Lisa: Yes.
ERIKA BRYANT: past traumas, whether it be childhood or relationship trauma, whatever that might be. And I think there is, ⁓ there's just, we just have to be more, I think allowing of each other and love to be human. know, none of us are perfect. We're all working through our stuff and unpacking our stuff. And two things he said to me early on and how I was like, okay, then this might be a keeper. ⁓ But he challenged me. He was like, listen, there's only, this is gonna be kind of crass. So forgive me audience.
Lisa: Right. Yes! It really is. And I don't remember who said this, but whoever said it is so right. This specific is universal. So we can think we're the only person who's ever gone through X, Y, Z, but that specificity when people feel it is so beautiful. ⁓ I love, I just, I'm buzzing because this feels so right for you. And it is, you've done artists way. So Mmm.
ERIKA BRYANT: Yeah. But he's like, there's only room for one clock and balls in this relationship and I promise you mine are bigger. And I was like, well, I promise you they're bigger too, one. And two, copy that, know, as we say at TV business. so, and then the other thing that he said was is that, listen, we both have our stuff. You have your baggage, I have my baggage. It's a matter of do I wanna unpack my baggage with you? And do you wanna unpack your baggage with me? That's what true relationship is. Mm-hmm.
Lisa: I remember before I did Artist's Way in my 20s, it's Julia Cameron's book and program. if anyone hasn't done it and has questions, please feel free to reach out. It is life-changing. I've done it several times. I remember feeling like I had a story to tell, but the challenge I was having was the story required me to go into a deep, dark cave and I didn't know what was in there and I was scared to go in. That was the vision I had. Yeah.
ERIKA BRYANT: Yes.
Lisa: Yeah.
ERIKA BRYANT: best. You know, and so, and I was like, yeah, I want to unpack my suitcase with you and I want to, and I want to see what you have in your suitcase and I want to, shake it out and all of it. And so, and it's, it's not always been pretty. It's not always been sexy and all the things, but when you meet your partner and you find that partner, I think it's a matter of what, what works, what, you know I mean? Is there more good than bad? Is there, you know what I mean? I don't know. And so to each his own, I think that the women that
Lisa: Yes Yes. Be there for all of it. I was like, but I know it's gold. I just don't want to go in because it's scary. And ArtistWay gave me the flashlight and the tools and the pathway and the permission and all of the things so that I'm no longer afraid. When a new idea sparks, I get afraid of like, will I know everything I need to know to complete it, bring it to completion? That's the fear now is like,
ERIKA BRYANT: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. And the permission, and the permission. Yeah.
Lisa: Yeah. Yeah.
ERIKA BRYANT: say that they don't want the partnership. That's amazing. You know what I mean? think, there are.
Lisa: Yeah. There's so many other things. There's so many. mean, and I've said, if like anything ever happens to my husband, like I'm not leaving him so like he'll have to die. But if anything happens, I don't think I want to do this again, because I want to see what else is out there for me. You know, like me solo me.
ERIKA BRYANT: Okay.
Lisa: I know the idea and I trust and I'm going to follow, but will I know enough to get to the end? And you always do. But I just love that journey. Oh my God. Okay. I next want to talk about Iron Orchid Media because the name alone, this is the new, I think it's the new name of your company. It's pretty new. Yes. So the name alone feels very intentional to me.
ERIKA BRYANT: You Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, no, it's a beautiful thing. And I think the beautiful thing about this life is that there is no right or wrong. There is no blueprint. We can all write our own story the way that we want to. And as creators, you and I know that the best. can create a story out of nothing. So, yeah, I think to each his own, whatever floats your boat. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Lisa: Yeah.
ERIKA BRYANT: Yeah, it's a brand new ⁓
Lisa: Yes. ⁓ I love that. I love that. Okay. Two more questions. ⁓ I could talk to you all day. You know that. I want to know what it represents to you at this era. It feels very much like you're building something with a lot of meaning and intention behind it. So I'd love for you to share about.
ERIKA BRYANT: Yes, yes, I could talk to you all day girl, listen.
Lisa: Okay, what is something you know now? We've touched on a few things, but really standing firmly in this chapter of your life, what do you know now that you wish you could have whispered to a younger version of yourself?
ERIKA BRYANT: Yeah, I think what I'm building is it's the casing for little Erica, right? Little version of me, right? I'm building the house for her, right? The safety net for her. And Iron Orchid, the meaning behind it, initially I was trying to figure out what I would name the company. I wanted something strong. I'm a Virgo, I'm an earth sign. But I also wanted something that would represent the softness of me because ⁓ even though God placed you in this tiny package, because I'm a little thing, I'm five feet tall, like ⁓ 115 pounds.
Lisa: Yes! always say that to you, I'm like, give me tall person energy, I forget you're short like I am.
ERIKA BRYANT: Yeah, yeah, but it's be not small, be not small. You know, don't shrink yourself. Even though you're in this little package, your light shines so bright and don't be afraid to let it shine. Don't make yourself small. Don't, you know what I mean? Just you're bigger. You're bigger than all of it. Yeah, it's it's small, small things to a giant. You know what I mean? Small things to a giant. It's funny, my friends are like, ⁓ you're so soft, you're so girly. And I don't feel that way on the inside. You know what mean? I don't feel very feminine, but people see me that way. And so there's this interesting thing about.
Lisa: We are so similar. I feel like I missed girl day. It's taken me a long time to figure out how to be a girl.
ERIKA BRYANT: Right. so, right. And so my husband always talks about, you know, there's an interesting concept around how people see themselves and how the world sees them and where they intersect. And iron orchid media, I think is where I intersect, right? It's the soft, it's the hard, the iron and the softness of an orchid. The thing around an orchid, what I did not know before I took a deep dive and like went down the rabbit hole was that orchids, I had bought
Lisa: Yeah. He grand. Yeah. Hmm.
ERIKA BRYANT: Yeah. Yeah. Thank you.
Lisa: I love that. And yes, I affirm that for you. That's so true. I see your light. I see it shine and it's so beautiful. And you're just getting started. So. Yes!
ERIKA BRYANT: Thank you, sis. I know, right? This late in life, I'm like, listen, Lord, I'm like, you have to give me another 65 years. Sheesh. maybe two dozen in the past 10 years and I buy them from the grocery store they're like 30 bucks and I'm like ⁓ this so great and then I would kill them within like two months. I'm like I'm putting the ice cube in what am I doing wrong I don't know all the all the buds fall off and I'm like okay toss it. I threw away about two dozen orchids not knowing that none of them were dead right and so orchids don't die they just go dormant.
Lisa: Right on time. Right on time. So final question, what's bringing you joy right now?
ERIKA BRYANT: ⁓ man, ⁓ honestly, you I have not fully been in a full time show running position in about a year, probably a little bit longer. And that's bringing me a joy in the sense that I am privileged enough to have a husband who's able to, you know, provide and hold us steady financially and enjoying married life, enjoying newlywed life, which is the same, let's be clear. Like it's not that different.
Lisa: OOF
ERIKA BRYANT: And if you continue to light them and water them and soil them in the proper environment, they re bloom. So I had been throwing myself away all these different times, right? And doubting myself and making myself small and shrinking myself to fit in rooms and other people's rooms when I can build my own room, you know, and businesses or whatever it might be. And so the orchid is something that you can.
Lisa: Yeah. ⁓
ERIKA BRYANT: We've been together so long, guess. People are like, ⁓ my God, it's so different. I'm like, well, you should probably get to know your partner more because it shouldn't be that different. ⁓ But enjoying being in my skin and recrafting what it means to be a soft, feminine woman on my own terms in this time. And so I'm working on the second book and building this company from scratch. it's interesting what you can do.
Lisa: Yeah. Hahaha!
ERIKA BRYANT: It can grow on a mountain top or in a cave or near water. It is so resilient and it always reblooms. And when it reblooms, it's more beautiful than it was the first time. So it was very representative of me. You know what I mean? I've given up on myself. I've doubted myself in the past. You know what I mean? And it was just a constant reminder of you'll bloom again and you'll bloom better each time you bloom better, baby. It's okay. And the iron is just...
Lisa: Mmm.
ERIKA BRYANT: what I'm able to do because everyone's giftings are different, right? And so to be able to erect a company, launch a podcast and a website and all these things in a matter of like two to three months, when it couldn't do that with a group of people, it's just like, because I'm very, as I said, very decided. I know when I want something, I'm just bang, bang, bang. I'm an executor.
Lisa: All the things, yeah. Yeah.
ERIKA BRYANT: the earth, it is God, it is the ground that you stand on. And so it's just the both and they're intertwined. So iron orchid media.
Lisa: ⁓ my God. I love that so much. And even in this conversation, I'm like, this is why we're each other's people. Because I can so relate to the throwing ourselves away. That just really hit me really deep. Ooh, how many times as women have we done that? And I feel like being midlife is the ultimate permission slip to stop throwing yourself away, number one, because we're looking back at all the times we've done it. Mm-hmm.
ERIKA BRYANT: you can always want to, you know, involve, be involved with the, you know, a collective sometimes, but it's not always beneficial. You know, everyone doesn't work that way. And so, I don't know. I think that I forgot the question, child. I'm just talking. I forgot the question. Joy, I think just sitting in it, sitting in this life, you know, putting my, putting my feet in the sand, taking walks, cooking, you know, at home.
Lisa: Right. Right. was bringing you joy. Yeah, I feel that. But number two, that shift in hormones, which I believe is directly related to the zero fucks that start to enter in, ⁓ that really makes things so non-negotiable. I got a list of a couple of people in my head right now that I have been ⁓ in relationship with and allowing and settling in the relationship and almost going back to the well. And
ERIKA BRYANT: writing this second book is bringing me a joy because I'm also healing through a lot of stuff. ⁓ And yeah, and then also I think there's something there's a different level of and I think something that women do to each other, which saddens me is that we pressure each other when it's like, ⁓ you met a new guy, when you guys gonna move in, when you gonna get engaged, when you gonna get married, when you gonna have kids. There's this constant pressure that women put upon ourselves and on each other that men don't do.
Lisa: Yes, this is the time for you.
ERIKA BRYANT: Mm-hmm.
Lisa: And I know it's not serving me. And in this moment, I'm like, ⁓ yeah, I've been throwing myself away on that. All right, noted. Thank you for that note.
ERIKA BRYANT: Like at all, they don't talk about it. It's just, ⁓ I've been with her this many years. I'm going to get married. They're like, ⁓ good job. Like, it's just so easy. we have, right. We're like, ⁓ my God, we got to get there. And that's unfortunate. You know, it's sad that we do that to each other because then we don't give ourselves the room to kind of stretch and feel it out for ourselves and feel what works. We're rushing to the altar or we're rushing to the ring or rushing to the whatever. And then you.
Lisa: No.
ERIKA BRYANT: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yeah, and be more unapologetic. And the last thing I'll say about the orchid too is that it's also soft and it elevates anywhere that it goes. And it's beautiful. And not because it's not like, ⁓ it's not a common flower. It's not like roses. Like everyone's roses. Don't, orchid is very understated. It's very demure, but it's very elegant, right? And it's so soft and it's so almost like ethereal. then it just has this really beautiful.
Lisa: Yeah. So what's the next step? Yeah. Yeah. Mmhmm. Yes! Right. Rushing to the next step.
ERIKA BRYANT: And then you get lost in the sauce and truly lost. Like we lose ourselves oftentimes in those circumstances, in those situations. so finding your way back to who you are, you're like, I gotta get a divorce and I gotta find me again. And it's like, the point is just to do it at your own pace and don't get lost. And if he ain't it, then let him move on and let the right one flow in kind of a thing. yeah, so it's... I mean, as you see behind me, just there. They're just there. Yes. And so I don't know. just I felt like it really embodied all of the elements of me. And when I told my husband, he was like, I was like, I'm debating between, you know, I literally I or he's like, I don't work. He's like, that was the only flower at our wedding. He's like, what do you what's the argument? I was like, oh, no, I didn't think about that. You're right. You know, so it's it's fitting. It's fitting. And it feels it feels good. It feels good. Yeah.
Lisa: Gorgeous! Mm-hmm. Yeah.
ERIKA BRYANT: This life is wild, girl, but joy in everything, joy in this breath, joy in the blinking of this eye, joy in the beating of this heart, joy in this skin, joy even in the sad times and the bad times. I counted all joy as the Bible talks about. God does not put us through more than what we can handle. And I have the back of a hippopotamus because I've been through a lot, but here I am.
Lisa: It's so fitting. Yes.
ERIKA BRYANT: Yeah, thank you.
Lisa: That's amazing. I love that meaningfulness. I recently renamed my company. have been, since 2008, have been Woohoo Inc. Now, there was a time when Woohoo was perfect for me, but I have outgrown Woohoo for many years and I only kept it open because my tax guy was like, keep it open girl. And I was like, okay. So went to see him this year and he was like, why did you change? Now, what I changed it to is Steady Creative, which is Yes. Here you are.
ERIKA BRYANT: Yet I stand, here I stand, yeah. Yeah. Aww.
Lisa: I mean, mic drop moment right there. Thank you for joining us at Midlife today, Erica. who I am and what I'm all about. And it was, and I love it. And I don't give a fuck who doesn't like it, but what's funny is like my tax guy and his assistant are like, ⁓ we miss Woohoo Lisa. And I was like, I don't.
ERIKA BRYANT: Thank you for having me. It's been a pleasure. I feel like I got to know you even better. mean, now I'm like, I'm I'm like gonna call you after this like, girl, let's continue talking. Cause this has been great.
Lisa: Yeah. I know, right? I'm like, ⁓ know things. I know. I know. It's been amazing. So thank you, everyone who's watching or listening, however you consume our podcast or vodcast. We are appreciative. Let us know what resonates. Let us know what's ⁓ speaking to you about midlife. And we will let you know when Erica's new book comes out. So stay tuned for that. Thanks, everybody.
ERIKA BRYANT: Hahaha! Well because in your 20s you're woohoo! That's what... and it's like...
Lisa: Yeah. It made sense, but it almost felt like it came with a lot of baggage and a lot of anticipation that I was like, no, I'm like in my twenties and thirties, I thought the woohoo energy made me special. And what I've come to realize is being steady is what makes, is what gives me my power.
ERIKA BRYANT: Yes. Yes, and the old one's still on Amazon. Bye.
Lisa: That's right, doing it scared.
ERIKA BRYANT: Mmm. Absolutely. And it's also something to letting go of the old, right? Like I really, have this analogy in my head where, you know, everyone's like spinning from our business because things are slowing down, et cetera, half slowed down and, you know, they're holding on to whatever. And I always feel like, you know, when you're holding on to a ladder, you can't get higher unless you let go. So you got to let go of a rung to climb higher. And so I'm like, so let who go, let my, for my company, let it go. Like it's,
Lisa: Yeah. Yes. Let it go.
ERIKA BRYANT: You can hold on to it, hoping that and thinking that what you initially went into it, you know, that same fire, that same passion, the same mission even still still may matter, but it's just it's moved that the tide has changed and you have to roll. You have to roll with it. And so when things change, just let go and grab a hold of something new, you know.
Lisa: Yeah. Yes. Let go and easier said than done, honor what you're letting go of and get excited about the new. ⁓ Yes. ⁓ yes. Yes. You need to grieve. Absolutely. So you have produced some of the biggest unscripted shows, Real Housewives of Atlanta, Married to Medicine, I Unlove Fixed My Life.
ERIKA BRYANT: ⁓ And grieve it, right? Because there's a grieving process when letting go happens too. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Lisa: shows that really center around black women's lives and stories. I'd love to hear from your perspective. And again, I've worked with you on a project now, so I love the way you produce. I love the way your mind works. ⁓ What's it been like to be behind the camera shaping these narratives?
ERIKA BRYANT: I think it's been imperative. You know what I mean? I think that a lot of our stories, especially, you know, from a woman of color and being a black woman specifically, a lot of our stories are told from the outside in, from outside of the house. And it's from a POV that is not our own. And so for me to be a black woman and telling our stories from the inside of the house out and projecting it out makes all the difference in the world. I think they call it ethnographic storytelling. And
Lisa: Okay, yes.
ERIKA BRYANT: It's really this thing of like, you know, really having a groundedness, a knowing of the experience of what that is. And even if I didn't experience it myself, either my mother did or my cousin did or my aunt did or my best friend did. Like there's so much that that is ⁓ nuanced in any culture, in any culture. Right. And so it's important, I think, to tell those with an authentic
Lisa: Mm-hmm.
ERIKA BRYANT: lens and authentic passion ⁓ and from just a place of caring, know, and wanting to really get it across, you know, and so ⁓ it's meant everything to me. It's meant everything to me. never, I never planned to be a TV producer. This, you know, as Malcolm X said, didn't land on Plymouth Rock, Plymouth Rock landed on me. Like I did not, I did not.
Lisa: Yes.
ERIKA BRYANT: have this plan. just knew that television was my nanny growing up. I was a latchkey kid. I sat in front of TV and watched all the TV shows. And that's where I learned a lot about. Yes, exactly. Because it was actually decent programming, right? You had these different families on TV from Good Times to Family Ties to Silver Spoons to, you know, all these different, Jefferson's literally like all these different shows and.
Lisa: Same! Best babysitter ever. Jefferson's.
ERIKA BRYANT: It was a spectrum and it was all of these different people from different walks of life and their different experiences and different POVs and their conflicts and how they resolve those conflicts. And that was kind of where that was, that's what shaped my little mind at that age. And so I had no plans again, I was in the music business. And so this world kind of found me and me being in, I came to LA thinking that yeah, I was going to be on top model and being a casting producer or what have you. But in my mind, I always have been a scripted.
Lisa: Yeah. Yes.
ERIKA BRYANT: individual. am a scripted writer. That's probably why I have books. And so whenever that comes, I'm excited for that chapter to start, know, whenever, you know, the universe says yes. But in the meantime, I've been in this unscripted world learning real people stories, telling their stories from a perspective that is really raw and unfiltered and uncensored and helping them craft those so that, you know, hopefully they come out into the world and people can kind of see a full spectrum of who we are because
Lisa: Yes, you are.
ERIKA BRYANT: as Black women, we're not a monolith. We are literally, so many degrees, so many dimensions to us. yes, and we're still learning as we grow and that morphs, right? ⁓ I'm not the version of what a middle-aged woman looks like compared to what my mom's version of what it looked like back then. It's like we're constantly morphing and changing. And so it's important that these stories are told through a lens that is true.
Lisa: Right. So many different experiences. Yeah. Yes, true and takes care. You're like, this is literally like therapy, I swear. So I'm thinking about this because I've done a lot of corporate storytelling and I've never really thought about the connection between that and my scripted projects. I know they're both storytelling and I know I'm excellent at both, but what you've given me is a lens through which
ERIKA BRYANT: Yeah.
Lisa: I take the same care I do interviewing a real human as I do getting down voices in my head. And the real humans that I interact with inform the voices that come through.
ERIKA BRYANT: Yes ma'am. Yes ma'am. Exactly. ⁓
Lisa: You just unlocked something. that and I really want to acknowledge ⁓ the project that we're working on together and the backstories you created for those characters that informed how I wrote the story. Like you gave them such lived experience. ⁓ And I'm already thinking about the sequel because I care so much about these characters now.
ERIKA BRYANT: ⁓ thank you. And I think it's because the human experience, mean, I know people, I'm a black woman, so, you of course I know color and people are like, ⁓ I don't know color, which you can't be colorblind either. But I think we bleed the same blood in the sense that the human experience is lived from different POVs and from different angles, right? But there's a thread that pain is pain and death is death and mourning is mourning and grief and all these different love is love and
Lisa: Yeah.
ERIKA BRYANT: you know, in all the spectrums. And so I think that's where that connectivity happens when you're like, interview people and then that informs the stories that are how I craft my characters. Yeah, same thing, same thing. yeah. And it's been a pleasure working with you on this project. I mean, you have been able to really, ⁓ really take the information and kind of like spell it out in a really beautiful way. It's a tapestry. Can't wait to see it on screen, you know, God willing, you know? Yeah, yeah.
Lisa: It's a beautiful story. I love that. Thank you. So you just launched a vodcast, Suspective, through your company, Iron Orchid Media. So I want to hear about that.
ERIKA BRYANT: Yes. ⁓ yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. is a vodcast and podcast. ⁓ It's about, it incorporates four women and their unapologetic, unfiltered, wild voices. ⁓ They're four They were actually part of a television show that I show ran for Hulu ⁓ about three ago called Secrets in Sisterhood. ⁓ And it's Afghan sisters ⁓ whose mother was from war-torn Afghanistan who came to America ⁓ with three or four of her daughters in tow at the time, came to California with her husband eventually, and then they had a total of 10 daughters. And so that was the TV show. We didn't get the pickup for season two. We never got canceled, but they never came back and said, hey, we're gonna start season two. So we were, you know, repitching, trying to figure out what that was gonna look like. And that was from a company called Half Yard. They were trying to figure out where our next home would be, whether it would be Hulu or somewhere else. and nothing ever came. And so the girls came to me, the sisters, and we're like, hey, Erica, like, we really want to do a podcast. I'm like, great, go for it. And like, well, we need your help, you know? And I'm like, okay, well, I'm happy to come on and kind of do a whole format for it and let's shoot it and I can create the whole vision for it. So we locked arms. I am, you know, it's under my production company, Iron Orchid. And we went into this, to the lab and, know, I took a lot of like hours on my end.
Lisa: Yeah.
ERIKA BRYANT: probably all in at this point, over 250 hours of just time of writing all the outlines and then producing the actual episodes and then watching all the raw and then editing all the raw with an edit.
Lisa: Wow.
