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Your phone buzzes. It's a message from your manager and
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it says, can we have a quick chat tomorrow morning.
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That's it. There's no explanation, there's no context, just one sentence,
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but within seconds your mind begins filling in the blanks
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for you. I've done something wrong. They're not happy with me.
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I'm probably going to lose my job in the morning.
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And by the time you've gone to bed, you've imagined
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the whole conversation. You've pictured yourself clearing out your desk.
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You're wondering how you're going to pay the bills without
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a job, and of course you don't sleep. And then
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the next morning you walk into work and instead your
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manager is smiling at you and he says, I just
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wanted to thank you for the way you handled that
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customer yesterday. So perhaps it isn't work. Maybe someone you
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care about didn't reply to your message. Perhaps you wake
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up with a headache that linked get a little longer
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than usual, or someone said we need to talk later,
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and before you know it, your mind has already imagined
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an ending that hasn't happened. So I welcome to Understanding
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anxiety with Neil Robson. I'm a hypnotist at favershim iph Theopy,
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where I work with people both online and hearing Kent,
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helping them understand and overcome anxieties, panics, and overthinking. So
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one of the things I hear most often is this,
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I know I'm overthinking, I know I'm imagining the worst,
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but I can't seem to stop. And people often worry
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this means there's something wrong with them. Now I don't
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believe that's true. I think your brain is doing exactly
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what it's learned to do. To understand why, Let's think
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about something we all do every day. Imagine you're walking
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through your house late at night, the lights are off,
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and at the end of the hallway you notice something
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on the floor. Now, for a split second, your mind asks,
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you know, what's that, And as you get closer, you
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realize it's just a jumper you dropped earlier. Your brain
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wasn't trying to frighten you. It was trying to identify
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something before you got too close. What it did was
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it made a prediction. Now most of the time, that's
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incredibly helpful. Our brains are literally prediction machines. They're constantly
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trying to work out what happens next, and that's how
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we move through the world so efficiently. We don't wait
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until something happens before responding. We prepare. The difficulty is
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that anxiety changes the way those predictions are made, So
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instead of asking what's the most likely explanation for this,
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it begins asking what's the worst thing that could happen,
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And that change has a huge impact. An unanswered text
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message becomes rejection, a routine meeting becomes bad news, harmless
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head ache becomes something serious, and a quiet mood from
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your partner becomes the beginning of an argument. Nothing in
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the outside world has changed, only the story, so yet
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your body reacts as though that story is already unfolding.
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Your breathing becomes quicker, your muscles tightened, your stomach churns,
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your heart speeds up, and not because something terrible has happened,
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but because your brain believes it might happen. And that's
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one of the most confusing things about anxiety. The body
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doesn't always respond to reality. It responds to what the
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mind believes could become reality. So once we understand that,
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a lot of anxiety suddenly begins to make more sense.
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The frightening feelings don't always arrive because something dangerous is happening.
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They often arrive because your brain has become convinced that
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something dangerous is about to happen, and once those physical
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feelings appear, they seem to confirm it. So you notice
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your racing heart and think, see, I knew something was wrong.
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But what if the racing heart isn't proof that the
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story is true? What if it's simply proof that your
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brain believed the story that it just created. And that
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question changes stuff because it moves us away from asking
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you know what's wrong with me? Towards asking why is
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my brain telling me this? And that's where I'd like
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us to begin. The reason anxious minds imagine the worst
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isn't because they're broken. It's because they hate unanswered questions.
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Go back to the message from the manager. Nothing has
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actually happened. No one has criticized you, no one has
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said you've made a mistake. The only thing that's changed
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is the story your mind has created. Human beings are
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natural problem solvers. Whenever there's information missing, our brains will
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try and fix the jigsaw, complete the picture. It's one
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of the reasons we're so good at learning. We recognize patterns,
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we make predictions, We fill in the gaps, and most
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of the time that's really useful. If someone normally arrives
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home at six o'clock and it's now half past six,
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your mind starts wondering why. Maybe they got caught in traffic,
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Maybe they stopped at the supermarket, maybe they chain. Notice
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how easy your brain creates possible explanations, and that's normal,
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But anxiety changes the way they explanations are written. Instead
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of creating the most likely story, it creates the most
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frighting one. They've been in an accident, something terrible has happened.
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I'm about to get bad news, are I. The mind
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isn't trying to upset you. It's trying to prepare you,
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because if the worst did happen, your brain wants you
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to be ready. The trouble is it prepares you for
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thousands of futures that never arrive. Then think about how
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many times you've wondered about something that never actually happened.
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A conversation, an interview, a holiday, hospital appointment, an evening out,
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And before every one of those events, your mind probably
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wrote several different stories. Most of them never became true,
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never became reality. Yet when the next uncertain situation comes along,
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your brain starts another frightening story. So why because anxiety
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isn't learning from the stories that didn't happen. It's learning
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from the moments you believed they might. Now that's interesting,
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it's an important difference. Another thing anxiety does is it
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confuses possibility with probability. Almost anything is possible. It's possible
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your train will be counseled tomorrow. Right. It's possible you'll
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forget someone's lame I do. It's possible you'll spill coffee
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down your shirt before an important meeting. But are those
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things very likely? Poorly with the trains, but usually not.
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An anxious brain doesn't make that distinction very well. It
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treats possibility as if it's probability. And that's why thoughts
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can feel so can vincing. So let's imagine you wake
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up with a headache. A calm mind might think, you know,
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I put it inst drink of water, a bit dehydrated,
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or perhaps I didn't seek very well. Simple as that,
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an anxious mind races ahead. What if it's something serious?
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What if I've ignored the signs? What if it's too
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late and within moments, your body begins reacting. Your muscle stands,
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your breathing changes, your stomach titans. Then something very understandable happens.
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You notice those physical sensations and your mindsets. See, I
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knew something was wrong, And in reality, your body isn't
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confirming the frightening thought. It's responding to it. And that's
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a huge difference. One is evidence and the other's biology.
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Another reason these stories feel so real is because your
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imagination is incredibly powerful. Close your eyes for a moment,
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if it's safe to do so, and picture walking into
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your favorite bakery or sweet shop. Imagine the smell of
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that warm bread or those sweets of fresh pastries but coffee.
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You can almost smell it, can't you, And perhaps you
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even notice your mouth watering a little. Nothing actually happened.
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You simply imagined it, and your brain responded to the
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picture it created. So now imagine spending hours imagining disaster instead.
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Your body responds in exactly the same way. It doesn't
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know the difference between something happening and something imagined. That
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sounds a bit odd, but it prepares either way. That's
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why anxious thoughts can feel so believable. Not because it's accurate.
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But because your body has joined in the conversation, often
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here in the office, it felt so real, and of
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course it did. The feelings were real, the racing heart
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is real, the tension is real, and the butterflies in
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the stomach were real. But those feelings weren't proved the
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story was true. They would prove your brain believe the
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story it had written. And there's an important lesson in this.
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We don't have to stop our minds creating stories that
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would be impossible anyway. The goal is to recognize that
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not every story deserves to be believed. Sometimes it's simply
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your anxious mind trying to protect you from the future
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that may never arrive. And start see how irrational it
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all is. And once you begin recognizing those stories for
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what they are, you create something very valuable. You create
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a little bit of space. Space to pause, the space
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to question, the space to choose a different response. And
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very often this is where recovery can begin from anxiety.
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So as we come towards the end of today's episode,
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I'd like to leave you with a different way of
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thinking about anxious thoughts. For years, many people have tried
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to fight them, to push them away, argue with them,
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prove them wrong. And the problem is they're often doing
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that keeps your attention fixed on the very thing you're
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trying to escape. So I imagine someone walked into the
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room and said, whatever you do, don't think about your
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front door. What's the first thing your mind does thinks
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about your front door? Not because you're doing anything wrong,
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because that's just how the mind works. The more we
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struggle with the thought, the more attention we give it.
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Instead of asking yourself, how do I stop thinking this?
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Try asking why is my anxious mind telling me this
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story today? And notice how different those two questions feel.
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The first assumes the thought is a problem. The second
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becomes an invitation to start understanding it. So let's go
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back to that message from your manager. Your anxious mindsets
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I'm in trouble. Instead of trying to prove it wrong,
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you simply pause, take a breath, and ask yourself what
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do I actually know? And the answer might be very simple.
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I know I've been asked to have a meeting tomorrow.
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That's it. That's all. Everything else that comes after that
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is a prediction. Your brain has written the rest of
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the story. It's not your fault. And it doesn't make
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you irrational, it makes you human. Another question I often
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encourage people to ask is if my best friend come
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to me with exactly this situation, what would I say
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to them? Would you immediately agree that the worst was
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definitely going to happen? Probably not. You'd ask a few questions,
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you remind them that there are actually other possibilities. You'd
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help them slow the story down. But when it's our
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own anxiety, we rarely offer ourselves that same kind of advice.
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So one thing I've learned over the years is that
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anxiety wants certainty. It looks for it, and life can't
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give us certainty. None of us know exactly what tomorrow
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will bring, do we know? The goal isn't to become
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certain The goal is to become confident that whatever tomorrow brings,
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you're going to handle it. You're going to deal with
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it calmly, rationally. And when you think about you know
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these issues, is this anxiety the way it works? You've
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proved this many times over already. If you think back
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over the last few years, how many things have you
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worried about? How many sleepless nights have you had, how
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many frightening predictions? Is your anxious mind made? And now
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ask yourself another question. How many of those predictions actually
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happened exactly as you imagined? Now, for most people the
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answer is, well, hardly any. And that's not because your
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anxiety is stupid. It's because anxiety is designed to prepare
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you for possibilities, not to accurately predict the future. So
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here's something I want you to try this week. Every
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time your mind jumps to the worst possible conclusion, don't
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argue with it, don't try to make it disappear. Instead,
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simply say to yourself, well, you know that's one possible story.
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Ice not that's what's definitely going to happen. Just that's
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one possible story, and then gently asks yourself, I wonder
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what else could be true. You don't need to convince
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yourself that everything will be perfect, okay. You simply need
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to remind your brain that there's more than one possible ending,
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and over time, something remarkable can begin to happen. Your
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anxious mind doesn't stop producing stories, but you stop believing
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every single one of them. You begin noticing them rather
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than becoming them, and that small change creates something anxiety
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has been taking away from you. That's choice. So before
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we finish today, I'd like to leave you one final question.
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If your anxious mind stop predicting the worst tomorrow, what
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would you do differently? Would you visit someone you've been avoiding,
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would you book that holiday, would you say yes to
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an invitation? Would you apply for that job? So, perhaps
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the first step in recovery isn't waiting for the fear
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to disappear. Perhaps it's taking one small step even while
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your anxious mind is still telling its storings. Because confidence
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rarely comes before action. More often it grows because of it.
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So thank you for listening today. I hope this episode
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has helped you understand why your mind sometimes imagines the
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worst and why those thoughts and feelings can feel so convincing.
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So if you've enjoyed today's episode, I really appreciate it.
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If you followed the podcast shared it with someone who
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might find it help. So for more practical help, you
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can listen to the other episodes of Understanding Anxiety with
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your robson and if you'd like one to on support.
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I work with carts online and for my practice at
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Favership Hemps airp in Kent. So until next time, stay
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well
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Your phone buzzes. It's a message from your manager and
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it says, can we have a quick chat tomorrow morning.
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That's it. There's no explanation, there's no context, just one sentence,
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but within seconds your mind begins filling in the blanks
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for you. I've done something wrong. They're not happy with me.
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I'm probably going to lose my job in the morning.
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And by the time you've gone to bed, you've imagined
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the whole conversation. You've pictured yourself clearing out your desk.
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You're wondering how you're going to pay the bills without
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a job, and of course you don't sleep. And then
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the next morning you walk into work and instead your
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manager is smiling at you and he says, I just
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wanted to thank you for the way you handled that
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customer yesterday. So perhaps it isn't work. Maybe someone you
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care about didn't reply to your message. Perhaps you wake
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up with a headache that linked get a little longer
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than usual, or someone said we need to talk later,
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and before you know it, your mind has already imagined
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an ending that hasn't happened. So I welcome to Understanding
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anxiety with Neil Robson. I'm a hypnotist at favershim iph Theopy,
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where I work with people both online and hearing Kent,
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helping them understand and overcome anxieties, panics, and overthinking. So
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one of the things I hear most often is this,
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I know I'm overthinking, I know I'm imagining the worst,
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but I can't seem to stop. And people often worry
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this means there's something wrong with them. Now I don't
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believe that's true. I think your brain is doing exactly
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what it's learned to do. To understand why, Let's think
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about something we all do every day. Imagine you're walking
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through your house late at night, the lights are off,
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and at the end of the hallway you notice something
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on the floor. Now, for a split second, your mind asks,
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you know, what's that, And as you get closer, you
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realize it's just a jumper you dropped earlier. Your brain
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wasn't trying to frighten you. It was trying to identify
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something before you got too close. What it did was
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it made a prediction. Now most of the time, that's
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incredibly helpful. Our brains are literally prediction machines. They're constantly
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trying to work out what happens next, and that's how
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we move through the world so efficiently. We don't wait
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until something happens before responding. We prepare. The difficulty is
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that anxiety changes the way those predictions are made, So
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instead of asking what's the most likely explanation for this,
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it begins asking what's the worst thing that could happen,
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And that change has a huge impact. An unanswered text
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message becomes rejection, a routine meeting becomes bad news, harmless
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head ache becomes something serious, and a quiet mood from
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your partner becomes the beginning of an argument. Nothing in
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the outside world has changed, only the story, so yet
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your body reacts as though that story is already unfolding.
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Your breathing becomes quicker, your muscles tightened, your stomach churns,
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your heart speeds up, and not because something terrible has happened,
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but because your brain believes it might happen. And that's
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one of the most confusing things about anxiety. The body
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doesn't always respond to reality. It responds to what the
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mind believes could become reality. So once we understand that,
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a lot of anxiety suddenly begins to make more sense.
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The frightening feelings don't always arrive because something dangerous is happening.
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They often arrive because your brain has become convinced that
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something dangerous is about to happen, and once those physical
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feelings appear, they seem to confirm it. So you notice
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your racing heart and think, see, I knew something was wrong.
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But what if the racing heart isn't proof that the
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story is true? What if it's simply proof that your
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brain believed the story that it just created. And that
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question changes stuff because it moves us away from asking
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you know what's wrong with me? Towards asking why is
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my brain telling me this? And that's where I'd like
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us to begin. The reason anxious minds imagine the worst
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isn't because they're broken. It's because they hate unanswered questions.
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Go back to the message from the manager. Nothing has
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actually happened. No one has criticized you, no one has
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said you've made a mistake. The only thing that's changed
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is the story your mind has created. Human beings are
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natural problem solvers. Whenever there's information missing, our brains will
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try and fix the jigsaw, complete the picture. It's one
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of the reasons we're so good at learning. We recognize patterns,
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we make predictions, We fill in the gaps, and most
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of the time that's really useful. If someone normally arrives
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home at six o'clock and it's now half past six,
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your mind starts wondering why. Maybe they got caught in traffic,
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Maybe they stopped at the supermarket, maybe they chain. Notice
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how easy your brain creates possible explanations, and that's normal,
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But anxiety changes the way they explanations are written. Instead
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of creating the most likely story, it creates the most
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frighting one. They've been in an accident, something terrible has happened.
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I'm about to get bad news, are I. The mind
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isn't trying to upset you. It's trying to prepare you,
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because if the worst did happen, your brain wants you
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to be ready. The trouble is it prepares you for
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thousands of futures that never arrive. Then think about how
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many times you've wondered about something that never actually happened.
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A conversation, an interview, a holiday, hospital appointment, an evening out,
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And before every one of those events, your mind probably
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wrote several different stories. Most of them never became true,
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never became reality. Yet when the next uncertain situation comes along,
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your brain starts another frightening story. So why because anxiety
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isn't learning from the stories that didn't happen. It's learning
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from the moments you believed they might. Now that's interesting,
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it's an important difference. Another thing anxiety does is it
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confuses possibility with probability. Almost anything is possible. It's possible
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your train will be counseled tomorrow. Right. It's possible you'll
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forget someone's lame I do. It's possible you'll spill coffee
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down your shirt before an important meeting. But are those
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things very likely? Poorly with the trains, but usually not.
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An anxious brain doesn't make that distinction very well. It
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treats possibility as if it's probability. And that's why thoughts
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can feel so can vincing. So let's imagine you wake
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up with a headache. A calm mind might think, you know,
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I put it inst drink of water, a bit dehydrated,
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or perhaps I didn't seek very well. Simple as that,
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an anxious mind races ahead. What if it's something serious?
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What if I've ignored the signs? What if it's too
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late and within moments, your body begins reacting. Your muscle stands,
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your breathing changes, your stomach titans. Then something very understandable happens.
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You notice those physical sensations and your mindsets. See, I
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knew something was wrong, And in reality, your body isn't
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confirming the frightening thought. It's responding to it. And that's
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a huge difference. One is evidence and the other's biology.
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Another reason these stories feel so real is because your
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imagination is incredibly powerful. Close your eyes for a moment,
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if it's safe to do so, and picture walking into
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your favorite bakery or sweet shop. Imagine the smell of
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that warm bread or those sweets of fresh pastries but coffee.
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You can almost smell it, can't you, And perhaps you
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even notice your mouth watering a little. Nothing actually happened.
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You simply imagined it, and your brain responded to the
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picture it created. So now imagine spending hours imagining disaster instead.
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Your body responds in exactly the same way. It doesn't
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know the difference between something happening and something imagined. That
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sounds a bit odd, but it prepares either way. That's
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why anxious thoughts can feel so believable. Not because it's accurate.
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But because your body has joined in the conversation, often
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here in the office, it felt so real, and of
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course it did. The feelings were real, the racing heart
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is real, the tension is real, and the butterflies in
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the stomach were real. But those feelings weren't proved the
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story was true. They would prove your brain believe the
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story it had written. And there's an important lesson in this.
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We don't have to stop our minds creating stories that
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would be impossible anyway. The goal is to recognize that
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not every story deserves to be believed. Sometimes it's simply
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your anxious mind trying to protect you from the future
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that may never arrive. And start see how irrational it
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all is. And once you begin recognizing those stories for
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what they are, you create something very valuable. You create
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a little bit of space. Space to pause, the space
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to question, the space to choose a different response. And
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very often this is where recovery can begin from anxiety.
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So as we come towards the end of today's episode,
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I'd like to leave you with a different way of
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thinking about anxious thoughts. For years, many people have tried
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to fight them, to push them away, argue with them,
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prove them wrong. And the problem is they're often doing
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that keeps your attention fixed on the very thing you're
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trying to escape. So I imagine someone walked into the
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room and said, whatever you do, don't think about your
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front door. What's the first thing your mind does thinks
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about your front door? Not because you're doing anything wrong,
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because that's just how the mind works. The more we
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struggle with the thought, the more attention we give it.
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Instead of asking yourself, how do I stop thinking this?
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Try asking why is my anxious mind telling me this
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story today? And notice how different those two questions feel.
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The first assumes the thought is a problem. The second
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becomes an invitation to start understanding it. So let's go
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back to that message from your manager. Your anxious mindsets
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I'm in trouble. Instead of trying to prove it wrong,
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you simply pause, take a breath, and ask yourself what
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do I actually know? And the answer might be very simple.
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I know I've been asked to have a meeting tomorrow.
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That's it. That's all. Everything else that comes after that
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is a prediction. Your brain has written the rest of
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the story. It's not your fault. And it doesn't make
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you irrational, it makes you human. Another question I often
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encourage people to ask is if my best friend come
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to me with exactly this situation, what would I say
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to them? Would you immediately agree that the worst was
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definitely going to happen? Probably not. You'd ask a few questions,
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you remind them that there are actually other possibilities. You'd
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help them slow the story down. But when it's our
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own anxiety, we rarely offer ourselves that same kind of advice.
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So one thing I've learned over the years is that
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anxiety wants certainty. It looks for it, and life can't
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give us certainty. None of us know exactly what tomorrow
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will bring, do we know? The goal isn't to become
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certain The goal is to become confident that whatever tomorrow brings,
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you're going to handle it. You're going to deal with
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it calmly, rationally. And when you think about you know
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these issues, is this anxiety the way it works? You've
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proved this many times over already. If you think back
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over the last few years, how many things have you
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worried about? How many sleepless nights have you had, how
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many frightening predictions? Is your anxious mind made? And now
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ask yourself another question. How many of those predictions actually
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happened exactly as you imagined? Now, for most people the
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answer is, well, hardly any. And that's not because your
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anxiety is stupid. It's because anxiety is designed to prepare
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you for possibilities, not to accurately predict the future. So
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here's something I want you to try this week. Every
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time your mind jumps to the worst possible conclusion, don't
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argue with it, don't try to make it disappear. Instead,
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simply say to yourself, well, you know that's one possible story.
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Ice not that's what's definitely going to happen. Just that's
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one possible story, and then gently asks yourself, I wonder
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what else could be true. You don't need to convince
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yourself that everything will be perfect, okay. You simply need
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to remind your brain that there's more than one possible ending,
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and over time, something remarkable can begin to happen. Your
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anxious mind doesn't stop producing stories, but you stop believing
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every single one of them. You begin noticing them rather
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than becoming them, and that small change creates something anxiety
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has been taking away from you. That's choice. So before
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we finish today, I'd like to leave you one final question.
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If your anxious mind stop predicting the worst tomorrow, what
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would you do differently? Would you visit someone you've been avoiding,
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would you book that holiday, would you say yes to
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an invitation? Would you apply for that job? So, perhaps
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the first step in recovery isn't waiting for the fear
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to disappear. Perhaps it's taking one small step even while
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your anxious mind is still telling its storings. Because confidence
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rarely comes before action. More often it grows because of it.
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So thank you for listening today. I hope this episode
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has helped you understand why your mind sometimes imagines the
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worst and why those thoughts and feelings can feel so convincing.
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So if you've enjoyed today's episode, I really appreciate it.
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If you followed the podcast shared it with someone who
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might find it help. So for more practical help, you
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can listen to the other episodes of Understanding Anxiety with
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your robson and if you'd like one to on support.
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I work with carts online and for my practice at
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Favership Hemps airp in Kent. So until next time, stay
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well
