معلومات عن هذه الحلقة
What does it take to understand a parent who hurt you?
Not excuse them. Not justify what happened. Simply understand them in a way that helps make sense of wounds that have been carried for years.
In this episode, KL Wells sits down with Jason Prokowiew, author of War Boys, to explore the lasting impact of addiction, generational trauma, and the possibility of finding healing through understanding.
Episode Summary
Jason Prokowiew grew up as the youngest of thirteen children in a Massachusetts family shaped by alcoholism, silence, and the lingering effects of war. His father survived extraordinary hardship as a child during World War II, carrying experiences of loss, displacement, and trauma that would continue to influence his family for decades.
Together, KL and Jason explore what it was like to grow up in an alcoholic home, how childhood survival strategies followed him into adulthood, and the journey that eventually led him to record more than fifty hours of conversations with his father. Through those conversations, Jason gained a deeper understanding of both his father's story and his own.
Key Discussion Points
- Growing up in a household affected by alcoholism and unprocessed trauma
- The impact of wartime experiences across multiple generations
- The lasting effects of emotional messages received during childhood
- The concept of the "dry drunk" and what happens when drinking stops but healing does not
- Finding your voice after years of learning to stay invisible
- The influence of teachers, mentors, and supportive communities
- Panic attacks, emotional overwhelm, and the body's response to unresolved pain
- The role of Al-Anon in providing language and understanding
- Curiosity as a pathway toward healing and understanding
- Understanding a parent's history without minimizing its impact
Some Questions I Ask
- When your father stopped drinking, what was happening inside you that still needed attention?
- When did you realize that what you thought was shyness might actually have been something else?
- What helped you continue rewriting your story as new understanding emerged?
- What motivated you to begin interviewing your father about his experiences?
- Before your father passed away, did you find your own experience of forgiveness?
In This Episode, You Will Learn
- How growing up in an alcoholic home can shape identity and survival strategies
- Why childhood coping mechanisms often continue into adulthood
- The impact of generational trauma on families
- How mentors and supportive relationships can create new possibilities
- Why understanding and forgiveness are not always the same thing
- How curiosity can open doors to healing and connection
- The value of hearing a loved one's full story
- How community support can help individuals make sense of experiences that once felt isolating
Resources
War Boys by Jason Prokowiew
https://www.jasonwprokowiew.com/war-boys-praise
Al-Anon Family Groups
The Awakening by Kate Chopin
Come and See (1985 film directed by Elem Klimov)
Stories from the Stage (PBS)
Notable Insight From The Episode
"In order to understand what was still hemorrhaging inside of me, I had to hear my dad's stories."
This reflection speaks to something many families experience. Understanding the history behind someone's behavior does not erase the pain it caused, but it can offer context, perspective, and a different path toward healing.
About the Guest
Jason Prokowiew is the author of War Boys, a father-and-son memoir that traces his father's survival during World War II, his immigration to the United States, and the lasting impact of wartime trauma on their family. Through storytelling, writing, and public speaking, Jason explores themes of family, resilience, addiction, and generational healing.
He has appeared on Stories from the Stage and has shared readings and presentations about War Boys, including appearances connected to Oberlin College, where he first began recording his father's history.
Connect With the Guest
Learn more about Jason Prokowiew and War Boys
