Rob McConnell Interviews - DEBBIE FORD - The Shadow Effect

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The X Zone Radio and TV show is largely an
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opinion talk show. All opinions, comments, or statements of fact
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expressed by Rob McConnell's guests are strictly their own and
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are not to be construed as those of The X
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Zone Radio and TV Show or in any manner endorsed
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by Rob McConnell, Realmar McConnell Media Company, Talk Star Radio Network,
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It's affiliated stations or employees.
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All Hit Radio.
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Welcome to the X Zone, a place where fact is
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fiction and fiction is reality. Now here's your host. Rob McConnell,
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actor so pro arrested for throwing a rider was the
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rest of today?
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First popster Michael Jackson amidst sharing a bed with the
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teenage boy. The shadow is dark, secretive.
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It can be dangerous things. We hide, things that we
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lie about, not only to others but to ourselves.
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That dark side of us, each and every one of
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us tries to hide.
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The shadow shows up in so many ways, Drinking too much,
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writing bad checks, eating cake in the middle of the
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night after three days of dieting, visiting porn sites while
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our wife makes us dinner. Right now, hundreds of millions
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of people are living in denial of their individual shadow.
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The temptation is to stop ourselves.
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The temptation is to put in it's not happening and
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not do anything anymore. We don't want to be it.
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We can be sure it is our shadow.
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People who express self rightist morality are usually the ones.
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Who have the dark deepest shadows.
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We see it in the media all the time.
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A filmmaker making deep Christian film shouts anti Semitic comments
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in a drunken rage. Corporations begging for bailouts are caught
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paying their executives multi million dollar bonuses. The Catholic Church,
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which preaches righteous sexual morality, hides pedophiles in its clergy.
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This is a subject we've never talked about.
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The cost of ignoring a destructive pattern is that you're
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going to self destruct.
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Like blocking somebody in the basement who wants to get out.
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Definds chievies ways to express themselves.
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If you haven't cleaned your house, you're going to be
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in trouble.
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This is why we want to deal with the shadow.
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It's not just to love the good, it's.
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To love the dogs.
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Show dogs my own friend.
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The shadow.
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Played darkness with darkness, but uqus, which are late? Are
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you medit to be strong where you were a week before?
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Step out of the smallness of your darkest thought into
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the brilliance of your biggest dream. If shadows could talk,
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they would tell us there is gold to be mined
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in every experience.
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Joining me now is the young lady behind the Shadow,
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Debbie Ford and Debbie Welcome to the X Zone.
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Thanks so much for having me.
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Debbie, what was your inspiration for creating the Shadow Effect?
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My inspiration was, I've been teaching for the last fifteen years.
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I've written seven books, four of them on the shadow,
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and you know, to really get people to see it visually,
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to get them to understand the language. You know, every
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day people are self sabotizing. There's eighteen million people in
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the United States on antidepressants and more that want to
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be you know. So, you know, I teach emotional education.
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You know, how do we make peace with these dark impulses?
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What do we do with these self destructive behaviors? What
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can we do besides trying to deny it and suppress it,
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which you know, in the long run most of us
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know it doesn't work.
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Does everyone suffer the shadow effect?
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Yes, everybody's got their shadows somewhere. I mean, it's part
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of our human nature, and that's kind of the lie,
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I think, the myth that we have to bust through.
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Right now. Everybody's got this dark side. Most people know.
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It comes when you don't have the radio on, or
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you don't have the TV on, or you're not listening
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to music, or you're not drinking and you're just kind
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of quiet with yourself. You hear the ongoing internal dialogue
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that's filled with worry or self doubt or fear or grandiosity.
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You know, it shows up in many forms. Some people
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it chose up in the way that they treat their
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bodies and their health, or or in which their weight.
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Other people it shows up with their money. A lot
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of times it's not our shadow that's actually acting up,
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but it's somebody else's shadow, right Or we're having this
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financial meltdown, which is part of our collective shadow. The
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spending money, the greed, the not thinking, the giving responsibility
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to other people and not be taking care of ourselves.
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So there's so many ways for the shadow appear to appear.
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Is there ways for us to get rid of the shadow,
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to shine something bright onto the shadow? So it doesn't
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interfere with us.
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Well, you just said it, and that is really the key.
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How do we shine something bright? How do we how
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do we put the light on it? And I love
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that metaphor thinking, you know, you're in a dark room,
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it's completely black, and you walk in with us flashlight,
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it's no longer dark. And and so when we start
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to understand our humanity and start to understand that there's
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there's a goal to be mined in the darkness, that
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there's there's lessons to be learned, there's wisdom to be
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extracted so that we can develop ourselves into a healthier,
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more productive Cumuan.
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Debbie, hold on to that thought. You and I have
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to take a commercial break. We'll be right back. Debbie
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Ford is my special guest. More about the shadow effect
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on the other side of this two minute break as
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we continue here in the X Zone, I'm not.
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Half the manned.
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The shadow of your smell.
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When you.
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God, we'll call a dreams.
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Light look into lightcy.
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Loved too Little Stuffs to Dear, Dropkist Lives.
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And welcome back to the x on WI. Ford is
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my special guest this hour. Her website is www dot
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Debbie Ford dot com and Debbie is a New York
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Times bestselling author. She was inspired by the famed psychiatrist
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Carl Jung and has been a pioneering force in incorporating
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the study and integration of the shadow into modern emotional
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and spiritual practices. She is the author of many best
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selling books, including The Dark Side of the Light Chasers,
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The Secrets of the Shadow, Spiritual Divorce, and Why Good
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People Do Bad Things. She has appeared on numerous television shows,
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including a number of times on Oprah, Larry King Live,
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Good Morning America, and other major media programs around the world.
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Her acclaimed workshop, The Shadow Process, has set new standards
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in the field of trans transformation, healing hearts, mending families,
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and supporting others in birthing new futures once again. Her
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website is www dot wie Ford dot com. Before we
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went to the commercial break, we were talking about putting
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light onto the shadow to get rid of the shadow.
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How do we do this?
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Well, we do it by Carl Young. The great psychologists,
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as you mentioned, said, we must find the gold in
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the dark, and so how do we find the gold
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in the darkness? We start to understand ourselves as something
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other than just this good person. You know. One of
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the biggest issues I see today in psychological wellness is
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that people think that the going to become this good person,
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you know, one day they'll be nice enough, sweet enough,
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smart enough, successful enough to be self accepting. Because when
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we were young, we were told don't be angry, don't
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be mean, don't be selfish, don't be greedy. And the
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message it gets internalized is this message meaning don't be
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It's not okay to be who I am. So when
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we start to look for, you know, what is the
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gift here, what is the light? Well, for most of us,
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we will find that the thing that we like the
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best about ourselves, the quality or the behavior, was birth
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out of some shadow, you know. So for example, somebody
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could love their kind and generous heart. Well, a lot
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of times when they look, they'll find out they had
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a mean parent and they decided, I don't like that
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mean part of me, you know, somebody called them mean.
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They hid that away and they started wrapping themselves up
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in this new persona which is sweet and kind. The
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problem is is as they get older and they want
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to say no to something, or they don't want to
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be a people please or all of a sudden, they
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find themselves strangled because the only thing they can do
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is being what they believe is good or nice. So
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a lot of people that get into places of power
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they got there because they felt so powerless, They felt
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helpless or inadequate, so they work and work and work.
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We don't understand that we're not driven by what we
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do want to be. We're driven by what we don't
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want to be, and that is the power of the shadow.
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So I'm trying to understand the shadow is the shadow
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of the negativity that each send, every one of us has.
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Would this be classified as the darker side of our
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personal beings?
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Yes, the part of us that we try to hide,
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the part of us that we lie about, the part
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of the person that we're saying I'm not that that's
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our shadow. You know, the part of our mother and
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our father where we said I'm not going to grow
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up and be like them. That would be our shadow.
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Anything that we reject out of shame or fear. And
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the shadow shado effect is when that that part of
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us that we'd keep it hidden right pops up and
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hits us in the face and does some act of
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self sabotage and we're like, oh my god, how did
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I do that? Or what was I thinking? And you know,
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we see it in the media all the time.
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Give me some right every.
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Day you can look and say what was he thinking?
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What was she thinking? Well, they weren't thinking.
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They may not have been thinking at the time. But
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if these are rational people and something happens, let's go
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to Fort Hood, going back to last week when this
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US Army major took out thirteen soldiers and wounded thirty one.
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So we're thirty one people. How would this happen?
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Yeah?
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And you know, how would the shadow effect? Yeah?
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And what did people say about this man? And my interviews,
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the ones I've read at least, you know, say that
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he was really a kind man, really loving, wasn't he?
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He was trained psychological, right, But this part of him,
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we could say, the shadow aspect that was probably full
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of anger and rage and powerlessness, right, all of a sudden,
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popped up and then destroyed you know, you know, so
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many lives. That's what the shadow does when it's stuffed down. Now,
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if he had dealt with those impulses, the impulses to
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destroy the impulse his own internal rage, right, rage kills.
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That's what rage does. So if he had dealt with
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that rage, then we might have saved all these these
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people from dying. Right, we could look at somebody like
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in your business, right, who makes a racial flur on
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you know, all of a sudden something comes out of
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your mouth or you do something impulsively. Right, You're not thinking, oh,
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I'm going to go and destroy all these lives. Most
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of the time, most of our acts of self sabotage
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were like, you know, people get in a relationship right
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outside their marriage. They weren't like thinking, what is the
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pain this is going to cause my partner? Do I
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really want to destroy my kid's life. They're not thinking
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that the first lie is the problem.
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But we can't look at we can't look at major
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in nide La Hassan and say, well, this was something
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that he did at the spur of the moment when
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the FBI and other law enforcement agencies are now looking
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into his past. And you know, before he killed thirteen
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people wounded thirty one, he yelled out, Allah is great pray.
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You know, he had praised Muslim suicide bombers on the internet.
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He refuse, He refused in the name of Islam, to
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be photographed with female colleagues, listed his nationality as Palestinian,
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dressed as a fundamentalist Muslim when not in uniform, and
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intended the same mosque as the nine to eleven terrorists. Now,
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how can we say that this is a person who
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fits into a into a shadow when obviously this guy
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had severe problems.
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Yeah, see, it's severe problems. But we could also look
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at you know, let's just look at both sides, because
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the other side of it, and I shouldn't say that
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it's always impulsive. We're talking about the little things that
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we do that are impulsive, right, right, you know that
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we could also look at the other side of you know,
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the shadow of Why why didn't we see all these
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things before he got there? That's a point right looking back,
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we can see it, so you know, we live in
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the state. It's part of the human functioning system. Our ego,
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our ego has this mechanism called denial where we can
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deny what's going on, where we don't take into account
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with seeing. See, I don't know all the details of
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this man, because when we're talking about the shadow effect,
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we're not really talking about people who are pathological. Right,
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This man could have been pathological. I don't know his history,
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but we're talking about ourselves. At some point we start
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to reject who we are. We start to put down
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who we are, We start to hide from our very
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nature to see to develop into a whole human being.
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And when we have separated, I would say, you think
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about you know what happens when you tell a teenage
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a three year old not to jump on the bed.
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What do they do? They jump on the bed. And
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so most people have thirty parts of themselves, you know
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that are you know, jumping around inside. And that's why
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everybody's got the jitters. That's why people can't be still.
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You can't just put somebody out on the grass and
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say sit there for two hours. I mean that's but
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if we were healthy, we would be able to do that,
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just sit there, feel good inside, like who we are.
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Is it possible that the shadow is replacing the devil
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that made me do it?
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Yeah? Exactly that Maybe that's really what they were talking about.
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The devil made me do it?
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You know, But is that but if that is the case,
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is it possible that we use the shadow as our escapegoat?
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Well, I think that most people do use the shadow
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as some kind of you know, like I couldn't help myself.
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But that's part of bringing the light to it, right.
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Dark side. Oh, they just wanted to play that little
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flip again. But no, thank you, not right now, guys,
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later on, but.
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But part of the whole process of shining the light
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on or all of us that were human beings, and
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human beings do have dark tendencies. We have all tendencies.
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And we could take the nicest, most beautiful woman you know,
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and lock her up and beat her for ten days
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and turn her into a you know, an angry witch.
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I mean, we can do that, right because those qualities
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exists within us and depending on our histories, depending on
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how we were treated, depending on our nature that we
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come in with. Right we go to a playground, we
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see these little kids. Some of them are like the
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little prey, and some of them are the predators. We
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have fundamental natures. And in my work it's to how
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do I make peace with the impulses that are inside
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of me so I don't have to destroy my life
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or I don't have to destroy the lives of other people.
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Feel Most people don't act out in huge ways. They
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act out in enough ways to spend too much money
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so that they're in debt constantly, or not take care
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of their health, or do something in their relationship or
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you know, work to have a loving relationship with their
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kids and then chain them. This is how the shadow
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effect shows up in most of our lives.
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When you and I come back from this news break,
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we have to take let's talk about how we can
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turn things around around and eradicate the shadow effect from
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all our lives. Excell Nation w Ford is my special guest.
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Our website is www dot the Shadow Effect dot com.
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That's www dot the Shadow Effect dot com. Andbi and
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I will be back on the other side of the
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news as the X Zone continues right here on the
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Talkstar Radio Network from our studios in Hamilton, Ontario, Canada.
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November fifteenth. We're going to be shifting gears here in
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the X Zone. As of November fifteenth, The X Zone
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will be the anchor show for the new network Voice
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of Reality Radio, which is also owned by Realmar McConnell
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Media Company. Here and our satellite Uplink center is going
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to be here in Hamilton. We will be working with
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the people at the Talkstar Radio Network, but they will
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only be a distributor or a place where you can
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hear the X Zone. And it's been a great pleasure
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working with Talkstar over the past six years. But the
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X Zone is growing, so we've decided to take care
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of our own destiny and leave the shadow behind, so
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to speak. My name's Rob McConnell. This is the X
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Zone one eight seven seven five two eight eight two
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five five is toll free email xxone at Talkstar Radio
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dot com, on MSN Messenger, Talkstar Radio at hotmail, and
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our websites Xzone radio dot com and Xzone tv dot com.
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Don't go away, We'll be right back after this commercial break.
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Jeez.
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The The X Zone Radio and TV Show is largely
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an opinion talk show. All opinions, comments, or statements of
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00:19:46.359 --> 00:19:49.599
fact expressed by Rob McConnell's guests are strictly their own
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and are not to be construed as those of The
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X Zone Radio and TV Show or in any manner
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endorsed by Rob McConnell, Realmar McConnell Media Company, Talkstar Radio Network,
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it's affiliated stations or employees.
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Hi, it's Eric Rawls at Cosmaverse dot com.
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And you're listening to Rob McConnell at the ex Zone.
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00:20:14.200 --> 00:20:16.359
Hi, this is Blade Runner and you are listening to
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Canada's number one paranormal radio show, The X Zone.
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With Rob McConnell.
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Hi. I'm Laura Saberne, a seased to Field Circanic Seniors
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and Jordan, and you're listening to Canada's number one paranormal
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00:20:27.599 --> 00:20:29.920
radio show, The X Zone with Rob McConn.
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00:20:30.119 --> 00:20:33.200
Hi, my name is Lady Ashley, the White Witch of
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00:20:33.359 --> 00:20:36.599
Niagara on the Lake, and you're listening to Canada's number
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one paranormal talk radio show, The X Zone with Rob McConnell.
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00:20:41.799 --> 00:20:45.000
Welcome to the X Zone, a place where fact is
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00:20:45.079 --> 00:20:49.759
fiction and fiction is reality. Now here's your host, Rob
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00:20:49.839 --> 00:20:52.000
McConnell with the Shi.
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So in the held of me right, surrender your dreams
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to me. It's Tonice. Don't come true, sir.
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When you keep it alt.
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A City, James.
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All the game.
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Welcome back to the Excellent everyone. My name is Rob
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McConnell and yes we're coming to you from our studios
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in Hamilton, Ontario, Canada. If you'd like gives called one
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eight seven seven five two eight eight two five five
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00:21:48.880 --> 00:21:51.559
That is toll free throughout the US Canada. Alaska and why.
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Email Xon at Talkstar radio dot com, on MSN messenger,
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Talkstar Radio at hotmail dot com, and our websites www
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dot x Zone radio dot com and xzonetv dot com.
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You know, there's a lot of things happening in the
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news these days. A married governor is caught with a
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mistress in Latin America. A teen idol and role model
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pleads guilty to beating his girlfriend. Corporate executives use government
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bailout money to fund luxurious vacations. A conservative radio host
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checks into rehab for a prescription drug abuse. A film
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director who produces Christian films shows anti Semitic comments in
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a drunken rage. These are just a few of the
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examples of what New York Times bestselling author W Ford
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calls the Shadow Effect. This emotionally gripping, visually stunning documentary
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exposes the opposing forces of both light and dark that
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compete for the attention within every human being, and presents
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the hidden power of the shadow alongside some of today's
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most provocative thinkers and beloved teachers, including Depokshop Mary Ann Williamson,
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Mark Victor Hinsen, doctor David Simon, James von Prague and
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many others. Her website is www dot wie Ford dot com,
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or you can visit the Shadow Effect dot com as well. Debbie.
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Great having you with us so we know what the
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shadow effect is, we see how it plays out in
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the lives of people. It's been with us since I
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would imagine the dawning of humanity so many years ago,
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the year two thousand and nine. Debbie, how do we
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get rid of this shadow effect?
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Well, and in the if we think of it as
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we're going to bring the light to it, we actually
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never get rid of it. We just bring it into
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the light. One of the ways that I describe it
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in the DVD is that I always call it the
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beach ball effect. So if we imagine that we take
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these parts of ourselves that we're calling the shadow, whether
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it's your an authentic self, or your lazy self or
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your gluttonous and you are holding each part of you
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beneath the water, you know, like you have a beach
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ball under water that at some point, right when you
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get distracted, what happens with the beach ball up and
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hit you in the face. Right, We've all been in
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the face by that beach ball and that's what's happening
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with the parts of ourselves. So in the shadow effect,
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we would invite these parts to the surface. So the
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number one step is we have to acknowledge that we
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all have them and that they're part of our humanity,
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that they're not actually these dark, horrible parts like a
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little dosa laziness might save you from a heart attack. Right,
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we never know why we have a quality. If you're
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you know, a Jew and Nazi Germany, you want to
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be able to lie. We keep making normal human qualities
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wrong because really, we wouldn't know darkness if we didn't
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know light. We wouldn't know light if we didn't know
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darkness the humans know. By contrast, we wouldn't know love
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if we didn't know mean or fear or hate. So
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when we understand that we have all these human qualities,
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we shine the light. We start with the light of
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awareness by saying, Okay, I'm human, I have these impulses.
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I have the impulse to do something, get revenge. Let's
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say you know you can take you know you're bad
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out and start hammering the part of you that wants
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to revenge, or you could actually go inside and see
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what that part of you could offer you what it
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wants you to learn, what you could do to take
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care of yourself. I mean, I believe, as most spiritual
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teachers would believe, that we're here to learn to love.
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And we're not just here to learn to love the
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good parts of ourselves, but we're here to learn to
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love the whole human So as we're willing to just
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take a moment, that's all it takes and say so,
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why would I have this part? Why would I need
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a dose of selfishness? Right? People hate their selfish self
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It's although we can see that we live in a
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world that's mostly selfish, if we didn't try to keep
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suppressing that and we saw what that part of us
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actually needs so that it could be selfless as well.
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Because if we're everything, then we have a polar opposite
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of every quality, and that, in and of itself, rob
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starts to alter the way people feel about themselves. When
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we feel good about ourselves, we don't have to hide.
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Who we are.
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And I tell people, people come to me all the
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time they say I don't want to be phony, and
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I'm like, thank god, you're phony, and they're horrified. Why
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would I want to be phony? I'm like, can you
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imagine if you just said the truth to everybody that
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walked in front of you, whether you know they smell
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or you can't stand they look like your mother that
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you hate, whatever the reason, you know, we are birth
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with a lot of these different kinds of qualities. People
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don't want to be needy, so in the resistance, because
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what you resist persists, you resist the needy part of you,
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and you have to pretend like you're completely independent, you
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can't get the support you need. So it's about lightening
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up and learning what it is to be a human being.
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So are you saying that the shadow is a very.
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Am I helping it all?
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I have to ask you? So are you saying that
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the shadow is a very important part of us that
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we have to acknowledge in order to become good humans?
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Exactly? Okay, I'm saying we've all got one. We can try.
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We've been trying for you know, for ages, to get
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rid of it, right, to hide it. Some people you're
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a sinner or this you're bad. But everybody's got these
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parts of themselves that they wish they didn't have, and
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it isn't working to just try to cover them up
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because they are the beach ball popping up and hitting
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us in the face. So what would happen? What happens
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when we bring love or light to anything, you know,
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it transforms.
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But how does this stop the beach ball from hitting
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a smack in the face when we're not paying attention.
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That's a good question. But if we think about it,
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you know the only reason why the beach ball is
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underwater is because we're so ashamed or so fearful of
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that part.
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All right, so we're suppressing it.
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Beach balls would be floating on top, and we'd understand, Okay,
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I have this part of me that's mean. I also
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have a very kind part, because you have every part.
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So whatever the opposite of that is, and how when
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might I need that mean part? An example of that
477
00:28:28.160 --> 00:28:30.079
is I had a woman who came to me is
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a very beloved woman in Hollywood, and she has these
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three sons, and one of her sons is confidently getting
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in trouble, and she keeps bailing him out of cord
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and rehab and buying him houses, and he's ripping off
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her friends. And when we're working together to look at
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what the shadow is, the shadow for her is her
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mean self mean is unacceptable to her. Everybody in Hollywood
485
00:28:56.880 --> 00:29:00.119
thinks she's one of the angel of Hollywood. But he
486
00:29:00.359 --> 00:29:04.240
needed that mean part of her to cut off her son.
487
00:29:05.839 --> 00:29:09.319
And because she couldn't access that part of her because
488
00:29:09.319 --> 00:29:13.839
it was so horrible, her son actually wound up dying.
489
00:29:15.440 --> 00:29:17.559
And years later she came and she said, if I
490
00:29:17.640 --> 00:29:21.240
could have just been able to be mean, So we
491
00:29:21.400 --> 00:29:24.079
don't know, you know, it's only the righteousness of this
492
00:29:24.240 --> 00:29:26.920
whole kind of oh to be a human being is
493
00:29:27.119 --> 00:29:29.400
I mean, do you ever have dark thoughts? I don't know,
494
00:29:30.200 --> 00:29:32.440
quite frequently. Maybe that's why I have to write about
495
00:29:32.480 --> 00:29:35.640
the shadow. You know, somebody does something. They cut you
496
00:29:35.759 --> 00:29:38.240
off the road, you think that idiot. You know, somebody
497
00:29:38.359 --> 00:29:41.319
steals from somebody else. You see made off. You're like,
498
00:29:41.480 --> 00:29:44.440
you know, somebody should you know walk this guy up
499
00:29:44.519 --> 00:29:47.079
and do horrible things to him. I mean, this is human.
500
00:29:49.799 --> 00:29:52.160
So we're born with the shadow. Do we die with
501
00:29:52.240 --> 00:29:52.759
the shadow?
502
00:29:54.559 --> 00:29:56.519
Unless we bring it into the light, and then it
503
00:29:56.599 --> 00:29:58.680
doesn't have to be a shadow anymore, right, it can
504
00:29:58.799 --> 00:30:01.160
just be part of our light, part of our humanity.
505
00:30:01.640 --> 00:30:04.640
I mean, if we can be in respect, I think
506
00:30:04.799 --> 00:30:08.240
respect that there is a reason for every quality, and
507
00:30:08.359 --> 00:30:11.960
we may not know when a dose, a healthy dose
508
00:30:12.039 --> 00:30:15.680
of greed, right, would maybe have you put away money
509
00:30:15.920 --> 00:30:17.960
or ask for the A lot of people can't ask
510
00:30:18.039 --> 00:30:20.160
for the salaries they want or the raises that they
511
00:30:20.279 --> 00:30:23.160
want because they feel like they would be greedy. Well,
512
00:30:23.200 --> 00:30:26.200
a healthy dose agreed is fine. But when greed is
513
00:30:26.319 --> 00:30:29.480
suppressed like it is, it then pops up. Look at
514
00:30:29.519 --> 00:30:32.640
what's happened to us, right, the greed, the greed of
515
00:30:32.759 --> 00:30:36.519
the corporate world has taken has taken half the people down.
516
00:30:36.640 --> 00:30:41.400
Good people. So it's people don't learn to be people
517
00:30:41.480 --> 00:30:44.440
want to be trusting, right, Good people are trusting. Well,
518
00:30:44.480 --> 00:30:47.920
a good dose of being untrusting would have us trust
519
00:30:48.039 --> 00:30:51.359
maybe our own impulses or when somebody tells us to
520
00:30:51.880 --> 00:30:55.000
invest in something or lend us, you know, to lend
521
00:30:55.119 --> 00:30:57.559
us money, and we think, oh, that doesn't feel right,
522
00:30:57.920 --> 00:31:02.440
but the good person does it anyway. And so that's
523
00:31:02.519 --> 00:31:05.400
why it's so important that to bring it into the light,
524
00:31:05.559 --> 00:31:08.680
to be humble enough to say, I'm a human being.
525
00:31:08.880 --> 00:31:11.039
What is a human being made of? I mean, if
526
00:31:11.039 --> 00:31:13.640
we watch a child, we find out what the human
527
00:31:13.759 --> 00:31:17.799
being is made of. One minute they're screaming, right, they're screaming,
528
00:31:17.839 --> 00:31:22.440
they're going crazy. The next minute they're sound asleep. Is peaceful, right,
529
00:31:22.599 --> 00:31:25.799
you can just it's the most delicious feeling to watch that.
530
00:31:26.279 --> 00:31:29.640
The next minute, what are they doing. They're crying, so
531
00:31:30.799 --> 00:31:34.079
they're sad, And the next minute they're giggling and they're
532
00:31:34.160 --> 00:31:37.720
laughing and they're joyous. This is the range of human emotion.
533
00:31:38.039 --> 00:31:40.440
But as we grow up, we're told, don't be that,
534
00:31:40.680 --> 00:31:43.279
don't be that. People don't like angry people. Even when
535
00:31:43.359 --> 00:31:46.200
you brag and you say, look at me, you come
536
00:31:46.240 --> 00:31:47.920
on from school, you got a good grade, or you
537
00:31:48.000 --> 00:31:50.799
did something well. Most people have parents who said, don't
538
00:31:50.839 --> 00:31:53.200
be too full of yourself, don't be too greedy. So
539
00:31:53.319 --> 00:31:56.279
then the light parts of us that could help us
540
00:31:56.319 --> 00:31:58.359
in life actually get locked in the shadow.
541
00:32:00.160 --> 00:32:04.119
Some of the changes that people have talked to you
542
00:32:04.200 --> 00:32:08.240
about that you've had in their lives because they've learned
543
00:32:08.279 --> 00:32:10.119
through you about the shadow effect.
544
00:32:11.640 --> 00:32:14.920
Dramatic. I'll tell you an example of just something that
545
00:32:15.079 --> 00:32:18.799
happened this week. A man his shadow was he was
546
00:32:18.839 --> 00:32:24.720
a womanizer, and this was always going on, right, always
547
00:32:24.799 --> 00:32:26.720
going on, and he couldn't know he was miserable in
548
00:32:26.799 --> 00:32:29.799
his relationship. He's already been divorced twice, blah blah, blah
549
00:32:29.799 --> 00:32:32.640
blah blah. So we deal with the shadow, to bring
550
00:32:32.720 --> 00:32:34.440
it to the light, to him to really see the
551
00:32:34.519 --> 00:32:37.920
pain of what it has caused him over his lifetime.
552
00:32:38.039 --> 00:32:40.839
Right easily, we're trying to suppress it. Instead, we bring
553
00:32:40.920 --> 00:32:42.960
it into the light, we talk about it. So I
554
00:32:43.079 --> 00:32:46.200
just say, just for a week, you know, just give
555
00:32:46.400 --> 00:32:48.640
that part of you what it needs. What is that
556
00:32:48.759 --> 00:32:51.240
part of you that's always looking for attention, That's what
557
00:32:51.359 --> 00:32:54.279
he was looking for in other women. Okay, so we're
558
00:32:54.839 --> 00:32:58.160
going to give that part of you attention. So all
559
00:32:58.200 --> 00:33:01.160
of a sudden, he calls me. He goes to visit
560
00:33:01.240 --> 00:33:03.599
his daughter, which means everything in the world to him,
561
00:33:03.680 --> 00:33:06.920
who's never talked to his new girlfriend. But because he's
562
00:33:07.039 --> 00:33:10.519
not acting out, all of a sudden, the daughter wants
563
00:33:10.599 --> 00:33:13.680
to meet the new girlfriend and he's like, everything is
564
00:33:13.759 --> 00:33:17.160
so peaceful. Why is everything so peaceful? Well, we're not
565
00:33:17.279 --> 00:33:21.720
trying to hide this big elephant beneath the surface. We're
566
00:33:21.759 --> 00:33:24.480
dealing with it. So, I mean, I could give you
567
00:33:24.759 --> 00:33:29.079
ten thousand examples of once we deal with our own shadows,
568
00:33:29.319 --> 00:33:33.279
our parents actually show up differently, because ultimately it's an
569
00:33:33.319 --> 00:33:36.640
act of forgiveness. It's an act of forgiveness. We have
570
00:33:36.720 --> 00:33:40.039
to forgive ourselves for being human, for being flawed, for
571
00:33:40.200 --> 00:33:44.400
being imperfect, and that when we start to forgive ourselves,
572
00:33:44.759 --> 00:33:48.839
we're kinder to ourselves, therefore kinder to the people in
573
00:33:48.960 --> 00:33:49.519
our lives.
574
00:33:51.440 --> 00:33:56.440
So when we recognize our shadow and learn how to
575
00:33:58.680 --> 00:34:01.039
get it to work with us instead of against us,
576
00:34:01.119 --> 00:34:04.039
does this have the same ripple effect that other self
577
00:34:04.079 --> 00:34:06.599
realization does in a person's life that affects the rest
578
00:34:06.640 --> 00:34:08.320
of the people who they come in contact with.
579
00:34:09.480 --> 00:34:11.320
Yes, And I love the way you just said that
580
00:34:11.599 --> 00:34:14.400
that was that was just perfect. It is is that
581
00:34:14.679 --> 00:34:18.840
once we can we alter it inside of ourselves, right,
582
00:34:18.880 --> 00:34:21.800
Because the outer world really is a reflection of our
583
00:34:21.920 --> 00:34:26.159
inner world. So if I shift, everybody and my world
584
00:34:26.280 --> 00:34:29.280
will have a shift with me. And that's the power.
585
00:34:29.400 --> 00:34:33.519
That's why collectively I think it's aperative. You know, one
586
00:34:33.559 --> 00:34:35.559
of the shadows that I see is a shadow of
587
00:34:35.639 --> 00:34:40.679
being irresponsible, you know, financially irresponsible, or we're not responsible
588
00:34:40.840 --> 00:34:44.000
for taking good care of ourselves. And I'm as guilty
589
00:34:44.039 --> 00:34:47.880
as anybody. And that if like we heal that shadow
590
00:34:47.960 --> 00:34:51.440
within ourselves, we would teach our children to become more
591
00:34:51.519 --> 00:34:55.280
responsible right, they would teach their children, we would start
592
00:34:55.360 --> 00:34:59.840
to collectively be more responsible for all that's going on
593
00:35:00.159 --> 00:35:03.760
in the world. And so it does. It has this
594
00:35:04.000 --> 00:35:08.480
ripple effect that you see it everywhere, even things like
595
00:35:08.559 --> 00:35:11.920
there's so many people who feel stupid or dumb. You know.
596
00:35:11.960 --> 00:35:14.599
I always tell people that stupid gave me my career
597
00:35:15.079 --> 00:35:17.400
because when I went back to school, I was studying
598
00:35:17.480 --> 00:35:21.239
to be a psychologist, and I would just go to
599
00:35:21.320 --> 00:35:23.440
school and think I'm just too stupid to get all
600
00:35:23.480 --> 00:35:27.480
this information. I just would read one page like ten times,
601
00:35:28.039 --> 00:35:33.000
and that led me to explore different kinds of consciousness
602
00:35:33.039 --> 00:35:38.159
studies and different kinds methods that ultimately burths my last
603
00:35:38.199 --> 00:35:42.000
seven books. So I give my credit to my stupid
604
00:35:42.079 --> 00:35:45.440
self for birthing my whole career. Now, I could hate
605
00:35:45.519 --> 00:35:48.559
that part of me right, be embarrassed of it, ashamed
606
00:35:48.639 --> 00:35:52.239
of it, or I can love it and see where's
607
00:35:52.239 --> 00:35:55.039
it trying to guide me? And that's what I see
608
00:35:55.119 --> 00:35:58.760
when people do shadow work and do the shadow effect
609
00:35:58.840 --> 00:36:03.199
also has an interact coffee where people can actually, after
610
00:36:03.320 --> 00:36:07.280
they watch the movie, go through find their own shadows,
611
00:36:07.480 --> 00:36:10.599
make peace with those shadows, and start to look for
612
00:36:10.760 --> 00:36:12.400
what they can adjust in their life.
613
00:36:12.719 --> 00:36:14.760
W stand by w Ford is our special guest. Two
614
00:36:14.760 --> 00:36:20.760
websites www Dot w Ford dot com and www Dot
615
00:36:20.880 --> 00:36:26.599
the Shadow Effect dot com. Great guest, great books, super DVD.
616
00:36:27.599 --> 00:36:29.159
W and I will be back on the other side
617
00:36:29.199 --> 00:36:32.119
of this commercial break as the xone continues right here
618
00:36:32.360 --> 00:36:34.800
from our studios in Hamilton, Ontario, Canada.
619
00:36:49.440 --> 00:36:54.119
By the Light Red a douce and know the rner
620
00:36:54.280 --> 00:36:57.760
in the night the Lights.
621
00:37:24.960 --> 00:37:31.400
Www Dot the Shadow Effect dot com and www dot
622
00:37:31.719 --> 00:37:35.280
w Ford dot com two important web addresses x oon Nation.
623
00:37:35.400 --> 00:37:38.000
Please check them both out. And first of all, w
624
00:37:38.079 --> 00:37:39.519
I want to thank you very much for joining us
625
00:37:39.519 --> 00:37:43.159
tonight here on the X Zone. Congratulations on yet another
626
00:37:43.400 --> 00:37:47.639
best seller, another great way to help people. But I'd
627
00:37:47.719 --> 00:37:51.079
like to ask you this, Debbie, from what age to
628
00:37:51.199 --> 00:37:55.079
what age would a person be able to have their
629
00:37:55.159 --> 00:37:59.920
shadow effect treated? For example, can we use your tech
630
00:38:00.360 --> 00:38:04.519
with our children, our teenagers, our adults, and our seniors.
631
00:38:06.719 --> 00:38:10.519
Absolutely, And I have a fifteen year old that you know,
632
00:38:10.639 --> 00:38:14.239
I think is part of that new generation where they're
633
00:38:14.280 --> 00:38:17.920
not so judgmental. They I think they're open more to
634
00:38:18.039 --> 00:38:22.559
their humanity so that I remember when you know, my
635
00:38:22.840 --> 00:38:25.039
son came home from school one day and he said,
636
00:38:25.119 --> 00:38:28.320
you know, Stephen called me annoying, and he was all
637
00:38:28.519 --> 00:38:31.800
upset and flustered because he had felt like he was
638
00:38:31.960 --> 00:38:34.239
teased because he was called annoying. And I'm like, well,
639
00:38:34.280 --> 00:38:37.960
I'm really annoying. Aren't we all annoying? And instead of saying,
640
00:38:38.400 --> 00:38:40.519
well you're not annoying, because you know, we're all a
641
00:38:40.599 --> 00:38:43.880
little bit annoying, I took the charge off of it.
642
00:38:44.239 --> 00:38:46.360
And so then I said, well, where are you annoying?
643
00:38:46.800 --> 00:38:48.880
And I said, and I bit, just even annoys you too.
644
00:38:49.360 --> 00:38:51.039
So I think that this is.
645
00:38:51.280 --> 00:38:54.519
Stuff we have to get in the educational system because
646
00:38:54.559 --> 00:38:58.159
these words become bombs that can have us people. You know,
647
00:38:58.239 --> 00:39:02.719
these kids commit suicide because they're being teased. And part
648
00:39:02.800 --> 00:39:04.800
of that is that the shame. Shame is the most
649
00:39:04.880 --> 00:39:08.400
painful feeling. And we have shame because we think, well,
650
00:39:08.480 --> 00:39:11.440
I'm annoying, but you're not. But when really, when we're
651
00:39:11.480 --> 00:39:16.119
standing in this this microcosm that we're all everything and
652
00:39:16.199 --> 00:39:19.039
that we all have these qualities, then we can start
653
00:39:19.119 --> 00:39:21.760
to heal. And even I had an eighty year old
654
00:39:21.880 --> 00:39:25.119
woman come to my shadow process last year. Rob it
655
00:39:25.280 --> 00:39:27.719
was amazing, and you know, when she got done, she
656
00:39:27.840 --> 00:39:30.159
said I'm going to forgive my brother. I haven't talked
657
00:39:30.159 --> 00:39:34.400
to him in fifty something years, and she started a
658
00:39:34.480 --> 00:39:38.719
new life. And so this is the possibility I think
659
00:39:38.800 --> 00:39:41.440
for all of us too. We only you know, we're
660
00:39:41.519 --> 00:39:44.280
only hold on to grudges, and we're only tough on
661
00:39:44.400 --> 00:39:48.280
ourselves because we feel ashamed, we feel like we've been wrong,
662
00:39:48.480 --> 00:39:51.199
and and how do we learn to love ourselves or
663
00:39:51.239 --> 00:39:53.519
bring just like that song you just played, you know,
664
00:39:54.119 --> 00:39:57.920
like just being showered in the light so that we
665
00:39:58.039 --> 00:39:59.960
can forgive and open our hear.
666
00:40:00.960 --> 00:40:04.599
I think forgiveness is the hardest thing for people to do.
667
00:40:04.920 --> 00:40:07.559
And why it is I have no idea, Because in
668
00:40:07.719 --> 00:40:10.480
order to forgive yourself, you have to forgive others.
669
00:40:10.199 --> 00:40:16.119
First, exactly, and that is a process of the heart exactly.
670
00:40:16.159 --> 00:40:18.280
And I think that most people are trying to forgive
671
00:40:18.320 --> 00:40:20.840
in their heads. And the whole back end of the
672
00:40:20.920 --> 00:40:25.400
Shadow Effect is about forgiveness and these great stories. We
673
00:40:25.480 --> 00:40:27.599
have a Holocaust survivor. You know what she says in
674
00:40:27.679 --> 00:40:30.719
the movie, She says, Debby, she said this to me
675
00:40:30.800 --> 00:40:33.639
before the movie. She says, I would never be angry
676
00:40:33.679 --> 00:40:36.360
at Hitler. I'm not going to let Kitler live in
677
00:40:36.519 --> 00:40:41.079
my space. One second, and that's that's it. When we're angry,
678
00:40:41.280 --> 00:40:45.039
those people own a piece of us. They have power
679
00:40:45.159 --> 00:40:48.000
over us. They live inside our bodies every day.
680
00:40:48.400 --> 00:40:50.880
Debbie, you and I have to say so long for now.
681
00:40:50.960 --> 00:40:52.599
We've run out of time, but I would love to
682
00:40:52.679 --> 00:40:54.400
have you back on in the future so we can
683
00:40:54.480 --> 00:40:57.480
just you know, we can continue this conversation about the Shadow.
684
00:40:57.519 --> 00:40:59.960
But until then, thank you very much for joining us.
685
00:41:00.400 --> 00:41:02.760
I love the work that you do. You're touching so
686
00:41:02.880 --> 00:41:07.119
many hearts and looking forward to having you back wifod
687
00:41:07.360 --> 00:41:12.119
www dot wiford dot com and The Shadow Effect dot
688
00:41:12.280 --> 00:41:14.760
Com when I come back from this news break. At
689
00:41:14.760 --> 00:41:17.079
the top of the hour, doctor Georgina Kennon joins me
690
00:41:17.119 --> 00:41:20.880
from the Ontario Hypnosis Center as the xone continues live
691
00:41:21.000 --> 00:41:23.119
end around the world right here on Talkstar