Side note... we dated at the same time?

WEBVTT
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Hey girl.
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Hey girl.
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How are you?
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Good.
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How are you?
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I'm fine.
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I was just with you.
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I know.
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That was so nice.
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Yeah, we had such a nice afternoon yesterday together.
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Yes.
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We don't often spend like Saturday time together.
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No, it was very enjoyable.
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It really was.
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Um I just got out of the sauna bag.
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Oh.
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How was it?
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I wasn't sweating.
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What'd you have it set on?
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150 degrees.
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And okay.
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And how long were you in there?
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45 minutes.
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Yeah, you'll have to crank it up a little bit.
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Yeah, I was like, I mean, it was like warm.
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Warm.
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Like when I I have it up to like 175.
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Because it's not really 175, but like I just wanted you to start easy first.
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Right.
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Yeah.
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And hopefully that'll that'll help.
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Okay.
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Yeah.
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Wow.
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All right.
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So keep on keeping on with that.
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I will do that.
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But I definitely did you enjoyed it.
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Yeah, it was nice.
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I mean, where do you lay?
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On my bed.
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Oh, see, I laid on the floor.
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Yeah, probably not as comfortable.
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I think that was the wrong.
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Yeah, no, I literally put it on my bed and get him like and just or a couch or whatever if you wanted to watch TV, like whatever.
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Yeah.
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I was like, I don't know why I got on the ground and well, you would think.
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Yeah.
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Yeah.
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Okay.
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So.
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But no, it was good.
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And I think just like being outside in the heat and like moving is very is helpful for my back problems that I referenced last week.
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Yes, I took a nice long walk down to the water and to Pentreaty Park this morning.
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Oh, it's so nice.
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That's a great walk.
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Yeah.
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I mean, I waited a little late to do that because it wasn't quite, it was like the late morning, so it was definitely a little warm, but it was still a nice walk.
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Yeah.
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Um, we um, you know, after some critical feedback.
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Um after some critical feedback, I have sat on a chair because I got told that I shouldn't be sitting on the floor.
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It's just like hard the window placement is.
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But I but I think it's you're you're good.
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This isn't it my bedroom.
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I know.
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I'm just saying, you look good.
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It's better than being on the floor.
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And then we don't have to see the outlet anymore.
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Um, but after some other critical feedback, we've decided to hold our top five or whatever we're calling that till the end and do it like in a little bit rapid fire.
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So for those of you who are tuning on in hoping to get that up front, I'm afraid you'll have to listen to the rest of the episode or speed through the chapters to get to it.
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Um dying to know.
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No, don't speed through the chapters.
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Um, so um with that, we're gonna talk about a funny topic.
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I mean, not funny, but we're gonna talk about dating.
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Yeah.
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Kind of.
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Neither of us is doing that.
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Like literally, like neither of us even.
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But we're gonna talk about um kind of through the lens, we are exactly 30 years apart.
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So it's interesting.
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We dated obviously at very different times, and you also dated, you have now gone through like three major phases of dating in your life.
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I have.
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So it seems, and I married my first boyfriend.
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So you've gone through no phases, so you know, different relationships to dating, but we want to do it in like more of a fun way.
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So, do you want to kick us off with the question of who had it harder?
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Who had it harder?
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Um, so are we like making our case?
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Like, yes, who had it harder?
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You or me?
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Okay, and I guess when right for context and reference, I'm gonna yes, for context and reference, I will say that I dated, you know, obviously when I was single originally, then I dated again in my 40s when I got divorced from dad.
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And then I, which was a long stretch.
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Um Right.
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I mean, how many years were you dating until you got into like I mean, I guess there was a serious relationship, but like I don't, I'm not counting that right.
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I was single from about 2007, six, seven until 2012.
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That's when you met Rich, 12.
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Yeah.
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Okay.
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And then you dated dating again in like 2019.
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So we were actually, interestingly enough, dating at the same time at the same time.
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Yeah.
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On on online, on apps.
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On the on apps.
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So we'll get into that.
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But which which dating experience are you gonna use as your like focus group?
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Well, I I feel like I should use the I don't know.
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I guess I'll see what applies and then I'll I'll say because I can't really say.
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Who had it harder?
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I would say that of all of the dating experiences that we've had, the easiest for you was probably when you met dad.
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Yeah, I was set up on a blind date.
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Same.
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But I think after dating miserably and unsuccessfully for almost two years.
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Right.
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In New York City.
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Right.
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Which is adds a whole different element of yes.
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I mean, look, I think I think modern dating for you, for anybody in their whatever 20s, 30s sucks.
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My my my take on it from just talking to people, talking to younger women, is that it's kind of a miserable experience.
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Every once in a while, there's like uh, oh, look, somebody met this person, and isn't this great and amazing and whatever?
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And it does happen.
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Plenty of people are like, oh, I met this person on Hinge, I met this person on whatever.
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Um, I just think, you know, look, I mean, I'm gonna reference now, I'll go back to like even referencing um dad.
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I can't remember because I was online in the 2000s.
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I was on like I was on like match and J Date.
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I remember but also online dating was clearly so different.
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Like online dating now, and I'm not even up, like you mentioned a dating app that someone that we know is using yesterday, and I had never even heard of it.
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Yeah, I don't even remember exactly what it's called.
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Talk to find something.
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Whatever.
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But dating apps now are obviously so influenced by social media.
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It's quick bites, it's scroll, like um, yep, yep, yep.
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It's getting you to move through, swipe left, right, fun, quick, like right, you know, the attention span of a squirrel.
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Whereas I feel like when you were on originally when I was on like match and jd, I mean you had to read a person's profile.
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Yes, it was a whole thing.
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Yes.
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Um, and it wasn't as much.
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I mean, obviously you looked at the person's picture, but it wasn't as quick but but but but but you know what I mean?
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You couldn't just blow through like that as quickly.
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I mean, you would I think I remember you would open up like I can't remember if this is match or you know, you would open up a screen and there would be, and it was like boxes of food.
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So you're getting this huge, I mean not huge, but comparatively, you're comparatively full screen.
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It's like looking at someone's Facebook page.
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Like you're getting larger.
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Yeah, it was completely different.
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So to that end, are you getting more information about someone?
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Like, are you vetting people differently because you're reading you were reading more heavily into it?
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Are they?
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I think you were able to I think people, I mean, I look, I think you if you take the time, there is information on like hinge or whatever.
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I mean, you spend people do fill out profiles, and but half the time it's just like people look at people's pictures and they're like, good looking, not good looking.
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I like them, I don't like them, whatever, what's their occupation?
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Like, isn't like the initial thing of like hinge, like it's like the picture, the age, your occupation, and like what other, you know what I mean?
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That's all you see with like it's all it's all segmented out to be like quick bits of information.
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Right.
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Right.
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But I'm wondering, on the one hand, are you making quicker decisions in a negative way?
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So you're probably writing more people off.
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I think, I think in the apps today, I think I've looked I think the problem is also it's like a constant refresh.
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It's like when you're on Instagram and you're scrolling, there's just like constantly new content.
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Yeah.
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For anybody, you at me at my age, you're anybody's age, there's always the like, oh, what, what's coming next?
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What's coming next?
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Maybe there's a better, maybe there's a better.
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I mean, yes, it creates an opportunity.
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And I think it's so hard to meet people now.
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I think it's just not as organic as it used to be.
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I mean, you do still hear about people like one being set up on blind dates, which I still think is always the best way.
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Yeah.
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Or like meeting somebody at a party or a bar or whatever.
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I do think that that happens so much less infrequently.
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So much more.
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Yeah, because people are so much less frequently.
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Yeah, so much less frequently, correct.
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Um because I think because people like just I don't know, people are a bit, I don't know.
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And I I think I think in the age of like uh in the digital world of like connection, if I know that someone in my life wants to date someone, I'm like, who do I know that I could like introduce them to?
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Whereas did you like, and it's easy to connect people, even if they don't live in the same place, even if they don't whatever.
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Whereas I feel like I don't know.
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I feel like it was done.
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I think people feel like people did it more than you were so much more likely to be like, oh, you should meet my friend.
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I mean, I know do people not that dad.
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I mean, they do.
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I mean, frankly, be between dad and rich, I mean not Mark, but dad and Rich, I was both set up.
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Set up, yeah.
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So, I mean, it does, I think it still happens, and I still think happens a lot.
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Um, I just think that, you know, it's just this is sort of like the way people are meeting people.
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And I, you know, I think it, you know, I think for somebody one who doesn't want to like go out, maybe doesn't have friends who know people, right?
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Um, or doesn't want to be like, oh, I think I'll spend my night sitting at a bar going to somewhere, you know what I mean?
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Like, right?
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Well, I also think like uh like not for nothing, the people that would be asking me to set them up with people are my straight girlfriends, which I have very few single ones anyway.
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And like, I don't know any straight guy, like I don't know any single straight guys, like I don't hang around with them, they're not like my choice of people.
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So I don't really have anyone to set anyone up with.
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Right.
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Whereas like well, what ends up happening is as you get older, I think that pool of single men or women gets bigger because people get divorced.
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Well, so you're saying you think it's easier to set people up in the later half of life.
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Maybe.
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I have no idea if that's a true statement or not.
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I don't know.
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But I and I also think that in the age of social media and whatever, like my best friend Lexi.
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I mean, people do like what's that expression they used to use?
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Like, oh, they slid into my their DMs, whatever the fuck that means.
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Yeah, but that's I don't think that that's that's not usual.
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I mean, like that's not a thing happened to me.
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Um, but somebody do that.
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If you like think someone's hot, you message them on Instagram.
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But how are they how are they getting to my Instagram if they're not my friend?
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Well, most likely, first of all, not everyone's private on Instagram.
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And most likely it's a friend of a friend, or I mean, I think that slid into the DMs is either used at our level for people who you're it's like a third rate connection, like you know someone who knows someone who knows someone, or it's famous people.
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I don't that's random Joe Schmo from nowhere'sville nowhere is not sliding into random Jane Doe from nowhere.
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Like that's not happening.
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I mean, I don't think I don't know.
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Just like I okay my understanding of that is but what's I gonna say?
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Sorry.
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What is he saying?
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Um you have no idea because you just want to use chairs slide into the DMs question.
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All right, well then let it come back.
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And in the meantime, you had it harder.
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Oh I mean, I would say, unfortunately, you probably had it harder because of the amount of times that you've had to do it.
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Okay, I'll take that.
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I mean, I think that's probably I have though, I will say, I mean, I I I look at myself as very lucky.
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I look at myself as incredibly lucky to have had now in my life three men that I've had major relationships with, significant relationships with, who have all loved me very much.
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So not by choice, but how lucky am I that that happened to me?
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All different, but all loving, you know, whatever.
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I think that's it's I just hard, but you know, you know, that goes into the question of, you know, everybody always says like there's no one true person for you.
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And I just don't believe there, I think there are for different reasons and for different times, but I don't think I think that you know, at different points in your life, there can be different people for different reasons.
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That's what I think.
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I I definitely agree.
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Not to say that you can't meet somebody at whatever age and be with them forever.
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Obviously, that's the hope, that's the goal.
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Um, but I don't think if if that one relationship doesn't work out, I just think that I'm walking living proof that that doesn't have to mean that that one person, you know, was your only chance for love.
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I completely agree.
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I think that's a great.
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Um so here's some I I wanted, I saw I Googled these words or I Googled what like modern dating terms are.
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So I wanted, I I don't know what I think I think I know what one of them or two of them might mean, but I was unclear.
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So I wanted you to tell you, because I thought it'd be funny for you to explain to me what they are.
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Okay, situationship.
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I think I know what that is, but I mean, to be that just like hooking up and sleeping together, like I get I think it, I mean, like to be fair, I I don't a hundred percent know, but I guess we could look it up.
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My understanding of it is it's like there is some like emotional element, you're not just like hooking up to hook up.
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Like you're you kind of treat each other like you're dating, but like you're not actually dating, you're not exclusive, you don't call each other boyfriend and girlfriend.
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So it's like emotionally taxing because you're kind of in this in-between.
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My understanding at least But is the situation usually the prelude to a relationship, or the problem is that they get defined as situationships because they never leave that predicated by a plan, not wanting to commit to you.
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So you spend all your time.
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Friends, something married with children.
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What was the movie though?
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Oh, Justin Timmer?
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What was it?
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Right.
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I mean, that's not what it is.
00:15:46.080 --> 00:15:48.320
They were, I mean that was a situation ship.
00:15:48.399 --> 00:15:56.399
They liked each other, they spent that wasn't a situation ship because they went into, they defined it as we're best friends, let's sleep together, this is fun, or like whatever.
00:15:56.559 --> 00:15:57.279
That's not a situation.
00:15:57.360 --> 00:16:00.240
There's no discussion of we're in a situationship.
00:16:00.480 --> 00:16:04.240
You end up in a situationship by accident, not on purpose.
00:16:04.480 --> 00:16:05.679
Oh, okay, got it.
00:16:05.919 --> 00:16:08.720
You don't want to be in one, is what okay.
00:16:08.799 --> 00:16:11.120
That's the clarify okay, that is a clarifying thing.
00:16:11.279 --> 00:16:12.080
Okay, good to know.
00:16:12.240 --> 00:16:14.639
So if you're saying you're in a situationship, that's a negative.
00:16:14.879 --> 00:16:19.039
And I don't think that you would be like, Yay, I'm telling everyone I'm in a situationship.
00:16:19.200 --> 00:16:23.519
Like your girlfriend would be like to you, you're in a situationship, you need to figure out You gotta get out.
00:16:23.679 --> 00:16:24.799
Got it, got it, got it.
00:16:25.039 --> 00:16:27.279
Well, we've all been them, we just didn't call them that.
00:16:27.919 --> 00:16:49.360
I've never been in one, so well, I was in one where I wanted to have a boyfriend and I was with somebody who who did not treat me like very often happens that it is a uh it is a male making it so that it ends up into this situation ship where this girl is giving him all of her energy and she's giving not and he's giving nothing.
00:16:49.759 --> 00:16:52.399
So with unwittingly without knowing, I have had a situation.
00:16:53.120 --> 00:16:55.840
And I'm sure they were not fun and you wanted to get out of them.
00:16:56.080 --> 00:16:56.720
Yes.
00:16:57.039 --> 00:16:58.639
Uh soft launch.
00:17:00.720 --> 00:17:21.279
A soft launch would be like if you posted a photo of someone that you were dating, like maybe on your Instagram story, or like they were in like the background of a picture, or you two were in like the background of your friend's picture, and your friend said to you, Is it okay if I post this?
00:17:21.599 --> 00:17:30.240
The photo is not to proclaim that you are in this relationship, but it it softly launches that there's a person in your life.
00:17:32.079 --> 00:17:41.519
The hard launch would be like when Peter and I first started dating a couple, whatever, probably like six months into dating.
00:17:41.599 --> 00:17:53.279
We went to my we went to my cousin's wedding and we took a picture and I posted it, and I wrote like my date forever, or like whatever, something like that.
00:17:53.920 --> 00:17:57.440
And that is me like hard launching.
00:17:57.599 --> 00:17:59.599
This is I'm dating this person.
00:17:59.759 --> 00:18:05.039
I am placing a picture on my Facebook, on my Instagram, on my whatever, and saying that we're dating.
00:18:05.119 --> 00:18:10.960
I'm not just like posting a random, like side profile of someone, like in a car.
00:18:11.039 --> 00:18:11.759
Like, you know what I'm saying?
00:18:11.920 --> 00:18:16.559
So one's a little bit more breadcrumbing.
00:18:16.799 --> 00:18:17.599
What is it?
00:18:17.839 --> 00:18:19.119
Breadcrumbing.
00:18:20.799 --> 00:18:26.559
I mean, I'm guessing that it's like like leading someone on, is what I would assume.
00:18:26.799 --> 00:18:27.039
Right?
00:18:27.119 --> 00:18:27.839
That's what I would assume.
00:18:28.000 --> 00:18:30.079
You're just like giving them a little bit so they keep on coming.
00:18:30.319 --> 00:18:32.319
I mean, I have no I have to assume.
00:18:32.720 --> 00:18:35.359
Um what's that word?
00:18:35.519 --> 00:18:35.839
Love.
00:18:35.920 --> 00:18:37.039
Oh, well, love bombing.
00:18:37.119 --> 00:18:39.759
It's like when you just get carried away early on, right?
00:18:40.079 --> 00:19:00.559
Well, I think though, see, I think people overuse love bombing because I think love bombing is actually where someone gives you all of their time and attention, is obsessed with you, is in love with you, is you're going out to dinner every night, you're blah, blah, blah, blah, blah and then all of a sudden, like vanishes.
00:19:00.880 --> 00:19:08.720
I don't think does it require the love, does it require like the it's it is suggestive of the idea that it is not a permanent situation.
00:19:08.960 --> 00:19:17.519
Like a person does it early on, like a guy could be like a love bomber, and then like all of a sudden, like the first two months, he's like all over you, and then not as into it.
00:19:17.839 --> 00:19:30.319
Whereas I think people use it sometimes when you're in like the butterfly fun phase where like you still, I guess if you looked at it from the outside perspective, it's love bombing.
00:19:30.400 --> 00:19:34.160
You're like obsessed with each other, but like you want it to be that way.
00:19:34.319 --> 00:19:38.240
It never, it never ends, no one ever pulls back from that.
00:19:38.319 --> 00:19:40.400
It like settles in a different way.
00:19:40.640 --> 00:20:07.920
But I do think that people love bombing has become kind of a trigger word, and it's really meant for like this very like um short period of like intense emotion and attention and whatever that is then removed is not anything orbiting, no fucking idea, like not even a clue.
00:20:08.319 --> 00:20:10.319
Benching lurking around.
00:20:10.559 --> 00:20:16.000
I I mean, I I mean we understand the meaning of the word, but we still don't know what it means in the context of a relationship.
00:20:16.240 --> 00:20:18.079
Okay, benching.
00:20:19.200 --> 00:20:46.079
So if I had to like I'm gonna I'm gonna think that if you're someone and you have like a roster of people that you date, like you know, we know people who like, you know, it's not like just that you're going on new first dates all the time, it's that you're like dating maybe four, five, six of the same people or casually, but like they're in the rotation.
00:20:46.240 --> 00:20:48.799
I think this is the people actually do that.
00:20:49.039 --> 00:20:53.599
I don't think anymore, but I always think about like sex in the what do you mean, not anymore?
00:20:53.920 --> 00:20:56.720
I don't think that people date that way anymore.
00:20:56.880 --> 00:21:10.720
I mean, look, I could be so wrong, but at least the people that I know, no one that I know, and I don't know if that's just like because of like a disinterest, dates like multiple people again and again.
00:21:10.799 --> 00:21:20.720
I'm not saying that they don't go on different dates with different people, and maybe they'll see one other person here and another person here, but this is like I understand, like as you're like if you're say you're actively dating, right?
00:21:20.799 --> 00:21:40.799
And you're on you know, the apps, you could be going out with different people, maybe one or two or even three times at the same time that you're doing that with other people at a certain point, you're either not interested, right, or you're continuing to date one person.
00:21:41.200 --> 00:21:47.759
But think about like, and I I understand that this is a show, but I do think that people dated like this a little bit more back in the day.
00:21:47.920 --> 00:21:52.799
Like you had people, like you had like casual daters.
00:21:53.119 --> 00:21:59.759
I don't even know if it necessarily meant that you were sleeping with them, but like if you wanted to go out on a Friday night and like get a dinner paid for, like you had it.
00:22:00.160 --> 00:22:11.440
Couple guys, you could like, I mean, I don't know that that's the case, but it definitely reads that I didn't do that in six, like well, what I'm saying is regardless, I do think it exists.
00:22:11.519 --> 00:22:13.759
I'm not sure how much it exists anymore.
00:22:14.079 --> 00:22:21.200
But the idea that you have this like roster, quote unquote, of people that you actively date at the same time.
00:22:21.680 --> 00:22:27.279
And if you wanna like you're not into one of the five or whatever, you bench them.
00:22:27.440 --> 00:22:32.160
Like, I I'm not gonna say to you I'm not saying you're on never seeing you.
00:22:32.480 --> 00:22:34.160
You're just not, you're just gonna put them to the side.
00:22:34.640 --> 00:22:37.839
I'm not texting you unless I like whatever.
00:22:38.079 --> 00:22:44.079
That's not understanding, just using like the idea of like a dating roster and blah blah blah.
00:22:44.319 --> 00:22:45.759
But again, I have no idea.
00:22:46.079 --> 00:22:47.200
Yeah, interesting.
00:22:47.519 --> 00:22:50.799
That's like not my wheelhouse.
00:22:51.119 --> 00:22:56.559
None of it really is, but all I really wanted was a boyfriend to turn into my husband.
00:22:59.759 --> 00:23:02.880
But most of the time, I mean, I'm not saying that's how why everybody's dating.
00:23:02.960 --> 00:23:03.440
Some people aren't.
00:23:03.519 --> 00:23:03.839
That's right.
00:23:05.279 --> 00:23:05.440
Right.
00:23:05.759 --> 00:23:07.599
To be honest, Julie, some people aren't.
00:23:07.920 --> 00:23:14.240
My best friend Julie, like she happened to fall into a very serious relationship like before that.
00:23:14.400 --> 00:23:15.599
Right, she was a good dater.
00:23:15.839 --> 00:23:19.839
She dated, she she debatably had a roster.
00:23:20.160 --> 00:23:22.799
Yeah, but she was just like dating today.
00:23:23.200 --> 00:23:32.160
Dante like chased her down and did everything he could to pin her down, which is why she loves him so much because he worked so hard to get her.
00:23:33.200 --> 00:23:33.440
True.
00:23:33.759 --> 00:23:36.559
Because she was so in her element, she's such a dater.
00:23:36.640 --> 00:23:39.519
I mean, she takes after her dad, she's such a dater.
00:23:40.400 --> 00:23:41.279
She's a dater.
00:23:41.440 --> 00:23:41.920
Yeah, she was a bit of a chance.
00:23:42.079 --> 00:23:43.039
She's not anymore.
00:23:43.119 --> 00:23:52.240
Obviously, she's in a long-term relationship, but like she was way more than anyone I've ever known, like enjoyed the act of dating.
00:23:52.880 --> 00:23:58.319
I went out with like I think 20 people in like six weeks once.
00:23:58.799 --> 00:24:06.559
In my year of yes, no one multiple times, but I tried, I was trying to say yes as much as humanly possible.
00:24:06.960 --> 00:24:07.279
Yeah.
00:24:07.599 --> 00:24:09.920
But I do think that that is the mindset.
00:24:10.000 --> 00:24:15.599
Look, I'm not sure if at that time you were looking for anything serious, you were like coming out of a marriage.
00:24:16.079 --> 00:24:16.400
Right.
00:24:16.720 --> 00:24:24.799
But I always say to people who are struggling dating, like, my year of yes changed my life because I was so closed off.
00:24:25.359 --> 00:24:33.599
Like I wanted it so badly, but I had all these like stipulations and reasons and things and check, check, check, box, box, box.
00:24:33.839 --> 00:24:54.000
And like I think to myself, and I always tell you, you know, I always thought I was like, Leah's gonna have to date somebody so much older and so sophisticated and so and like truly and Peter is uh wise beyond his years and and not and very mature for his age, but thank God I didn't.
00:24:54.960 --> 00:24:57.519
Like, thank God he is who I ended up with.
00:24:57.920 --> 00:24:58.079
Yeah.
00:24:58.319 --> 00:24:59.119
So many reasons.
00:24:59.200 --> 00:25:10.799
But anyway, so all to say what all to say, I don't know what, but it's fascinating to me.
00:25:11.119 --> 00:25:16.799
What's your vote on is this just popped into my head because I remember thinking about it when I was dating a lot.
00:25:17.279 --> 00:25:21.599
Uh coffee, drink, food.
00:25:21.839 --> 00:25:25.359
Drink, no food, never.
00:25:25.680 --> 00:25:28.720
I on first date, I a hundred percent agree.
00:25:28.880 --> 00:25:40.480
I remember somebody telling me, a guy telling me all these guys, all these women, I hate to say it like this, like would want to go out like on a dinner date to get somebody to like take them out to dinner, buy them a meal.
00:25:40.720 --> 00:25:42.880
And I was like, I cannot imagine.
00:25:43.039 --> 00:25:47.359
I think I'm scarred from my early first setup when I was in college, you know that story.
00:25:47.599 --> 00:25:51.599
Um, when grandmom set me up with this guy in law school.
00:25:52.319 --> 00:25:55.519
Don't say, No, it's a funny story.
00:25:55.839 --> 00:26:01.920
But I do think I was um, I don't even remember his name, so he's pretty sure he's not gonna hear it.
00:26:02.160 --> 00:26:02.480
Okay.
00:26:02.640 --> 00:26:03.440
Okay, tell it.
00:26:03.599 --> 00:26:08.960
Um, it's not like bad, it was just anyway.
00:26:09.119 --> 00:26:11.680
We don't have to get into the whole whatever about him.
00:26:11.839 --> 00:26:15.119
He was not for me, and he wanted to meet for lunch.
00:26:16.000 --> 00:26:26.480
Already, you should have been like at a Chinese restaurant, and I was like, Well, like that's like the answer there is I'm so sorry, I don't think that this is gonna work out.
00:26:26.960 --> 00:26:35.279
And he we went to like a theoretically, like nice is Chinese restaurant in downtown DC, and it was just well, all around it was not for me.
00:26:35.359 --> 00:26:38.720
And I always say, like, I don't want to meet somebody for coffee.
00:26:38.799 --> 00:26:39.680
I know that's like a thing.
00:26:39.759 --> 00:26:42.000
People do do that, do that meet for coffee.
00:26:42.160 --> 00:26:44.400
Yes, yes, or like, yeah.
00:26:44.480 --> 00:26:50.880
And I I just think you need a little, I mean, this is a terrible endorsement of drinking, you need a little swirl of alcohol in your body to get through a first date.
00:26:50.960 --> 00:26:53.200
Well, here's my feeling is hour, hour and a half.
00:26:53.359 --> 00:26:56.000
This is my recommendation for if there's anybody single listening.
00:26:56.319 --> 00:26:56.960
This is what I'm saying.
00:26:57.759 --> 00:27:07.279
I don't think that you need to set a cap on the time, but a drink andor coffee, there is a time where it's appropriate to leave.
00:27:07.440 --> 00:27:10.559
So if you had a drink for an hour and you're hating it, you can be like, oh my god.
00:27:10.720 --> 00:27:12.480
You can say meeting friends for dinner.
00:27:12.720 --> 00:27:14.000
Right, or I have to get home, whatever.
00:27:14.880 --> 00:27:16.160
But I guess you could be like, I I have to.
00:27:16.319 --> 00:27:20.559
I don't like, I just think coffee is I I for me, I need a little alcohol in my system, but I'm just being nice.
00:27:20.960 --> 00:27:25.200
Well, if you're sober, when I look better under a bar like alcohol, like without the alcohol.
00:27:25.519 --> 00:27:27.039
No, I just I need a bar vibe.
00:27:27.119 --> 00:27:29.200
I need a little something, it's the vibe.
00:27:29.279 --> 00:27:33.200
Like you don't want like Jack Johnson like behind your date.
00:27:33.359 --> 00:27:37.519
Like you want it to be like, you know cool, a little sexy.
00:27:37.759 --> 00:27:38.880
Yeah, exactly.
00:27:39.200 --> 00:27:45.759
But my thing about drinks is you always know if it's a good date if you want to stay.
00:27:46.000 --> 00:27:46.960
Yeah, of course.
00:27:47.200 --> 00:27:56.079
So, like if you shut down the bar, which literally happened to me one time and I married the man, like you know it's a great date.
00:27:56.240 --> 00:27:56.480
Right.
00:27:56.640 --> 00:28:04.400
Whereas like I don't want to be in like a well-lit coffee shop, like with condensation running down my leg, trying to figure out how to get out.
00:28:04.799 --> 00:28:06.720
Like that's miserable.
00:28:07.279 --> 00:28:08.880
I I mean, look, I went I'm with you.
00:28:08.960 --> 00:28:15.119
I had what I have had in all the dates that I have been on, I have had exactly one coffee date and it was not permitted.
00:28:15.440 --> 00:28:16.960
I completely concur.
00:28:17.440 --> 00:28:24.000
Drinks, I mean, I guess if you decide that you want to eat, that's fine.
00:28:24.240 --> 00:28:26.160
I am not a big believer in the eating on the phone.
00:28:26.480 --> 00:28:29.119
I think you just don't cross into.
00:28:29.359 --> 00:28:34.319
I mean, if it's like something where it's like you're going to die and you need to eat, sure, eat.
00:28:34.400 --> 00:28:36.640
But like try to prepare.
00:28:37.039 --> 00:28:37.839
Yeah, have a snack.
00:28:39.200 --> 00:28:40.720
Order pizza on the way home.
00:28:40.880 --> 00:28:42.079
Like on your brush.
00:28:42.720 --> 00:28:43.119
I agree.
00:28:43.279 --> 00:28:43.680
I agree.
00:28:43.839 --> 00:28:46.160
There should be because then it's like then also you're like risk.
00:28:46.400 --> 00:28:48.480
I mean, for me, I'm kind of a slob sometimes.
00:28:48.640 --> 00:28:53.279
You definitely risk like food on your clothing, food in your teeth, like whatever.
00:28:53.839 --> 00:29:07.680
Like some that could be silly and fun, but like you have to know the flow of conversation if it's constantly being broken up by like the waiter, the eating, the cleaning, the nuts, the bites.
00:29:08.559 --> 00:29:17.920
You know, I used to have, you know, I used to have a place that I always went to for my dates because it was close by and I knew all the bartenders, and I felt there.
00:29:18.160 --> 00:29:19.200
I felt very safe there.
00:29:19.279 --> 00:29:25.759
I felt like I could park my car, like I could be go there by myself, sit at the bar, like I would order my drink, whatever.
00:29:25.839 --> 00:29:29.440
They all knew I was they would like have like a Sauvignon Blanc, blah, blah, blah.
00:29:29.680 --> 00:29:31.759
And your date drink.
00:29:32.079 --> 00:29:39.119
Well, I wasn't like doing um, well, that was the funniest thing is I think I maybe I ordered, I can't remember if I was drinking tequila then.
00:29:39.200 --> 00:29:39.920
I don't think I was.
00:29:40.720 --> 00:29:43.359
And I don't, I would be so curious.
00:29:43.440 --> 00:29:45.119
That would be such a fun poll.
00:29:45.440 --> 00:29:53.440
Well, that's another thing is the one person I met there one night, he sat down and he ordered a Cosmo, and I was like, Right, like bye.
00:29:54.079 --> 00:29:54.640
So yeah.
00:29:54.880 --> 00:29:56.480
And it turned out to be a bye.
00:29:56.640 --> 00:30:01.119
And then another guy who was really that was not a fun date at all.
00:30:01.279 --> 00:30:02.640
Um, God, what was his name?
00:30:02.799 --> 00:30:03.680
Don't remember.
00:30:03.920 --> 00:30:15.200
Um, he was he I walked in and I was looking for him at the bar, and he walked up to me and you know, identified who he was, and he said, Oh, I took the liberty of getting a table in the back.
00:30:15.440 --> 00:30:17.119
Oh, because he wanted to eat?
00:30:17.359 --> 00:30:18.640
Yes, and we ate.
00:30:18.880 --> 00:30:21.920
Oh, so you're going to like a bar atmosphere and then you ate?
00:30:22.160 --> 00:30:23.599
We went and we went into the back.
00:30:23.680 --> 00:30:24.240
You know what?
00:30:24.480 --> 00:30:26.720
Vintage, the back, the back room.
00:30:26.960 --> 00:30:27.680
Oh my god.
00:30:27.920 --> 00:30:28.880
Like death.
00:30:29.119 --> 00:30:31.279
It's also like so silent in there.
00:30:31.519 --> 00:30:32.000
It's hard.
00:30:32.160 --> 00:30:33.279
It was horrible.
00:30:33.519 --> 00:30:35.200
Oh my god, that's terrible.
00:30:35.440 --> 00:30:36.400
No, no.
00:30:36.559 --> 00:30:37.680
I I mean I'm a firm believer.
00:30:38.000 --> 00:30:39.440
So I'm so curious to know.
00:30:39.519 --> 00:30:40.640
I don't care about boys.
00:30:40.720 --> 00:30:43.920
I mean, like a cosmos one thing, but like I don't care what boys order.
00:30:44.079 --> 00:30:44.960
I would be so curious.
00:30:45.359 --> 00:30:47.359
What do you order on your first what do you order on a drink?
00:30:47.680 --> 00:30:54.160
What your first thought of is like date drink because like I what did you used to order?
00:30:54.400 --> 00:30:55.119
What did you say?
00:30:55.359 --> 00:30:56.640
What did you used to order?
00:30:56.880 --> 00:30:58.000
You were drinking tequila then.
00:30:58.160 --> 00:31:00.319
I was drinking tequila on the rocks, always right.
00:31:00.400 --> 00:31:04.240
Well, I mean, I'm just gonna say the funniest thing is, I mean, now that's you know, I do that.
00:31:04.400 --> 00:31:07.119
I can't remember what I I just really don't remember what I ordered.
00:31:07.359 --> 00:31:11.119
But you were like drinking I you definitely didn't drink tequila when I was like growing up.
00:31:11.440 --> 00:31:12.319
Not right.
00:31:12.480 --> 00:31:14.960
You always had like a kettle bottle in the freezer.
00:31:15.279 --> 00:31:16.000
Yeah, I don't know.
00:31:16.079 --> 00:31:18.079
I don't, I mean, I guess I don't remember.
00:31:18.240 --> 00:31:21.279
Um, I do think at some point we started drinking tequila, but anyway, not important.
00:31:21.680 --> 00:31:23.920
Um dad was definitely drinking tequila.
00:31:24.559 --> 00:31:28.400
Yeah, well, yes, he was, unfortunately.
00:31:28.559 --> 00:31:31.519
We not we didn't maybe know about it, but he was definitely drinking tequila.
00:31:31.599 --> 00:31:37.599
Although it's so funny because we were watching a show the other night and the person was drinking tequila and trying to hide it.
00:31:37.680 --> 00:31:47.599
And I was like, gosh, I was like, tequila is such a poor choice of an alcohol to hide because it smells right like vodka is so clean, like you really don't smell it as much.
00:31:47.920 --> 00:31:49.200
I think you smell hard liquor.
00:31:49.359 --> 00:31:53.279
I mean, you smell it anyway, but I'm just saying, um, but yeah, no, that's funny.
00:31:53.440 --> 00:31:55.119
Dad was definitely drinking tequila.
00:31:55.279 --> 00:31:57.039
Um, but anyway, I was out.
00:31:57.119 --> 00:32:00.640
I actually ordered a tequila on the rocks, which you know to me is like a pretty badass.
00:32:00.880 --> 00:32:03.599
I mean, almost saying I care, but it's like a pretty badass drink.
00:32:03.839 --> 00:32:04.240
That's like some.
00:32:04.480 --> 00:32:10.240
And then Michael said in his text to Peter was like, and she's drinking tequila on the rocks, and it was like a selling point.
00:32:10.400 --> 00:32:15.039
So I think it is a cool drink, just it is if anyone needs suggestion, try it out.
00:32:15.279 --> 00:32:22.400
And the woman that I another woman that I was with, there were four of us out to dinner, ordered, I don't remember what type of bourbon neat.
00:32:22.640 --> 00:32:27.279
And I thought the two, like I I thought the two guys I was with were gonna like fall off their chair.
00:32:27.440 --> 00:32:28.400
They were like, ugh.
00:32:28.880 --> 00:32:33.039
So I mean, if you I guess if you really want to impress somebody, order a bourbon neat, but I'm not doing that.
00:32:33.119 --> 00:32:36.400
So I'm not gonna like like not enjoy myself.
00:32:36.640 --> 00:32:43.839
No, I mean I wouldn't mind an old fashioned, but bourbon neat's a little too much for my I don't, I don't, I don't really do the dark, but anyway, regardless.
00:32:44.160 --> 00:32:52.720
Yes, that is an interesting conversation, like what you order on a first date because like Kelly, she's really a wine, she doesn't really drink hard alcohol.
00:32:52.880 --> 00:32:55.119
So, like I think it's fine to drink a glass of wine.
00:32:55.359 --> 00:32:59.920
It's not that it's not fine, I just like wouldn't go wine, it's a different kind of like buzz first.
00:33:00.799 --> 00:33:05.200
Yes, well, yes, but if you don't drink anything else, yeah, I guess.
00:33:05.599 --> 00:33:06.559
Interesting.
00:33:06.880 --> 00:33:13.200
Um what was our our our what is our fast whatever?
00:33:13.599 --> 00:33:22.000
So you're gonna do you're gonna name like 10 scenarios, and we're just gonna rapid fire like three, two, one, say yes or no.
00:33:22.240 --> 00:33:23.119
Yes or no.
00:33:23.519 --> 00:33:23.839
Okay.
00:33:24.079 --> 00:33:28.240
These are like dating, dating, dating possibilities.
00:33:28.400 --> 00:33:30.960
Would you or wouldn't you go out with this person?
00:33:31.279 --> 00:33:37.680
Given that we're both in, I'm literally married and you're in a long-term committed relationship, but let's just Well, I mean, I'm not saying we're gonna right.
00:33:37.759 --> 00:33:39.039
I'm not saying we're gonna do that now.
00:33:39.440 --> 00:33:43.200
The answer isn't the quite the question isn't would you be interested in doing that now?
00:33:43.359 --> 00:33:44.559
It's way back when you were dating.
00:33:46.079 --> 00:33:47.839
At whatever point it's been a yes.
00:33:48.799 --> 00:33:49.359
Or a no.
00:33:49.440 --> 00:33:50.559
Okay, ready?
00:33:52.000 --> 00:33:54.000
They're 10 years older than you.
00:33:54.880 --> 00:33:58.720
Are we going like three, two, one, say, or three, two, one.
00:33:59.039 --> 00:33:59.359
Yes.
00:33:59.519 --> 00:34:00.000
Yes.
00:34:00.240 --> 00:34:05.680
Although I will say it might have depended 10.
00:34:05.759 --> 00:34:06.880
I think 10 would probably be.
00:34:06.960 --> 00:34:10.400
Oh, actually, I did date somebody who was like 12 years older than me, so I can't say that.
00:34:10.639 --> 00:34:14.559
I think that at that time I I thought that there the limit didn't exist.
00:34:15.360 --> 00:34:15.679
Right.
00:34:15.920 --> 00:34:17.039
Like I didn't want to take my crazy.
00:34:17.360 --> 00:34:23.679
I actually kind of think, I mean, like, look, if you're 20 and they're 40, it's a little weird.
00:34:23.920 --> 00:34:24.559
Yeah.
00:34:25.039 --> 00:34:25.360
Yeah.
00:34:25.599 --> 00:34:26.800
Or vice versa.
00:34:27.039 --> 00:34:28.880
But I mean, I don't know, everything in between.
00:34:28.960 --> 00:34:29.840
I'm like, whatever.
00:34:29.920 --> 00:34:31.920
Uh, divorce with two kids.
00:34:33.039 --> 00:34:34.480
One, two, three.
00:34:34.719 --> 00:34:34.960
No.
00:34:35.199 --> 00:34:35.599
Yes.
00:34:35.840 --> 00:34:36.480
Okay, right.
00:34:36.639 --> 00:34:44.719
Because in your point in your life, and I guess I'm gonna say when I was first dating dad, would I have started dating somebody who was divorced with two kids?
00:34:44.880 --> 00:34:50.559
Although it does make me think of one of my friends who did meet and marry somebody who was divorced with two kids.
00:34:51.440 --> 00:34:54.000
Well, she was in her 30s when she met him.
00:34:55.119 --> 00:35:01.519
It wasn't like a 22-year-old relationship, but I'm just saying it was her, it was a series, it was she hadn't been married first.
00:35:02.000 --> 00:35:02.559
That's true.
00:35:02.639 --> 00:35:03.519
I still would have said that.
00:35:03.599 --> 00:35:04.239
I think it depends.
00:35:04.480 --> 00:35:05.679
That was not for me.
00:35:06.000 --> 00:35:07.519
They live an hour away.
00:35:07.760 --> 00:35:08.800
One, two, three.
00:35:08.960 --> 00:35:09.280
No.
00:35:09.440 --> 00:35:10.079
Yes.
00:35:10.639 --> 00:35:10.880
I did.
00:35:11.119 --> 00:35:14.000
I mean, I dated somebody who lived an hour almost two hours away.
00:35:14.159 --> 00:35:14.559
I know.
00:35:14.719 --> 00:35:15.280
It's hard.
00:35:15.360 --> 00:35:16.159
That's not fun.
00:35:16.480 --> 00:35:17.440
I have no interest.
00:35:17.679 --> 00:35:21.840
Peter lived in New Jersey across the water, and I was like, you live way too far.
00:35:22.639 --> 00:35:25.039
Uh they don't text much.
00:35:25.119 --> 00:35:26.559
One, two, three.
00:35:27.119 --> 00:35:27.519
Yeah.
00:35:27.760 --> 00:35:28.079
Yes.
00:35:28.239 --> 00:35:32.079
I mean, they can't be like drop off the face of the earth and not hear from like.
00:35:32.239 --> 00:35:37.840
I mean, I think if you're dating them and they're non-responsive or don't call, if they don't like to text, I don't care.
00:35:38.320 --> 00:35:39.039
So there's a difference.
00:35:39.119 --> 00:35:39.360
Yeah.
00:35:39.519 --> 00:35:45.199
Like, are they are they non-communicative or are they They don't like to text.
00:35:45.440 --> 00:35:48.079
They don't want to like chit chit chat chat.
00:35:48.239 --> 00:35:50.159
Like there's a difference.
00:35:51.119 --> 00:35:54.639
Uh they're extremely attractive, but terrible at planning dates.
00:35:54.800 --> 00:35:56.159
Three, two, one.
00:35:57.280 --> 00:35:57.599
No.
00:35:58.239 --> 00:36:00.800
Yeah, I'm gonna say that is not suggestive to me.
00:36:01.280 --> 00:36:03.440
Not because I care about here's the question.
00:36:03.519 --> 00:36:06.719
It's just it's it's it to me, it portends other things that are not good.
00:36:07.119 --> 00:36:12.800
But terrible at planning dates like the bl the dates that they plan aren't fun, or terrible at doing it like they don't do it.
00:36:13.119 --> 00:36:15.119
I don't well, that's a good question.
00:36:15.360 --> 00:36:20.480
I mean, look, when you and Peter met, he didn't really know, right, the city so much.
00:36:20.800 --> 00:36:21.760
No, he knew the city.
00:36:22.400 --> 00:36:24.880
He would, I was just like, I think he took my lead a little.
00:36:25.039 --> 00:36:28.639
That's so his demeanor, like he kind of just like whatever I wanted.
00:36:28.800 --> 00:36:36.800
But he was he was very thoughtful in things that he did for me always.
00:36:36.960 --> 00:36:43.199
And like yeah, I wouldn't like it if somebody was like lame and just was like oh, we're seeing each other on Friday.
00:36:43.280 --> 00:36:44.239
I don't know what we're gonna do.
00:36:44.880 --> 00:36:58.239
Same, no, but also because I think that does it either shows lack of interest or lack of thought, self- self-absorption, or it just says it speaks more about other things that they would be as a partner, which I think you would not want.
00:36:58.559 --> 00:36:59.199
Completely agree.
00:36:59.360 --> 00:37:01.280
Like the planning of the date itself.
00:37:01.440 --> 00:37:08.719
I mean, look, later in life, division of labor, you know, certain people end up planning the trip, certain people end up doing the whatever.
00:37:08.880 --> 00:37:15.519
But I just think if somebody initially is not like taking any initiative to do anything, and not to say the guy has to do it all the time.
00:37:15.679 --> 00:37:20.239
I mean, I remember when early when I was dating Mark, I was like, we were trying to figure out what we were gonna do.
00:37:20.400 --> 00:37:23.039
And I said to him, You don't have to do anything.
00:37:23.280 --> 00:37:30.639
I'm coming to your apartment, and I'm and I went to like De Bruno and picked up a whole picnic and brought what you know what I mean.
00:37:30.719 --> 00:37:34.159
And I had a no I I I planned the date.
00:37:35.119 --> 00:37:36.960
Right, but I'm saying I planned it.
00:37:37.119 --> 00:37:41.360
I'm saying you don't the person doesn't have to want the guy, doesn't have to do it all the time.
00:37:41.599 --> 00:37:42.400
Oh no.
00:37:42.880 --> 00:37:46.960
But they have to be able to do it, and want to, even if you don't let them.
00:37:47.599 --> 00:37:48.159
Right.
00:37:48.559 --> 00:37:51.760
Uh they're wonderful, but still friends with their ex.
00:37:52.000 --> 00:37:52.960
3, 2, 1.
00:37:53.039 --> 00:37:53.440
Yes.
00:37:53.679 --> 00:37:54.320
Yeah.
00:37:54.639 --> 00:37:55.599
I don't care.
00:37:56.800 --> 00:37:57.440
Really?
00:37:58.079 --> 00:37:59.599
I don't I don't mean them.
00:37:59.760 --> 00:38:01.360
If what does friends mean?
00:38:01.599 --> 00:38:01.920
Right.
00:38:02.159 --> 00:38:03.039
Like they're hanging out.
00:38:03.280 --> 00:38:04.960
Or they like, I don't want them to hate each.
00:38:05.119 --> 00:38:07.440
I mean, it's better if they don't hate each other, obviously.
00:38:07.599 --> 00:38:11.360
But like friends, like active friends, I don't know how I feel about that.
00:38:13.760 --> 00:38:15.599
I don't know how I would feel about that.
00:38:15.840 --> 00:38:18.000
Like they're actively friends.
00:38:19.119 --> 00:38:27.920
Friendly, amiable is fine, but like actively friends, like, oh, I'm going out with so-and-so tonight, my ex-boyfriend or girlfriend.
00:38:28.400 --> 00:38:30.880
Actively friends with dad.
00:38:31.840 --> 00:38:35.599
Okay, well, that also we had children, and that also took a really long time.
00:38:36.079 --> 00:38:36.400
Okay.
00:38:36.960 --> 00:38:42.159
I'm just saying, like and we didn't go hang out together, the two of us.
00:38:42.320 --> 00:38:43.679
We did things as a family.
00:38:43.920 --> 00:38:45.679
Yeah, I guess that's different.
00:38:46.000 --> 00:38:48.639
But you like texted, and I'm not that's what I'm saying.
00:38:48.800 --> 00:38:51.840
Yes, but that was also, I mean, God knows how many years later.
00:38:51.920 --> 00:38:52.800
It did take us a while.
00:38:52.880 --> 00:38:54.239
And yes, you're right.
00:38:54.719 --> 00:38:57.519
I'm just saying, as a and so that's a good kind of friends.
00:38:57.599 --> 00:38:59.039
I'm just saying, what kind of friends?
00:38:59.199 --> 00:38:59.440
Right.
00:38:59.679 --> 00:39:09.760
Like, I'm saying, like, if someone reaches out, like, I guess friends implies a level of closeness that I guess I would not be comfortable with.
00:39:10.000 --> 00:39:10.559
Right.
00:39:11.199 --> 00:39:15.599
But like, I don't I have full faith and trust.
00:39:15.679 --> 00:39:16.960
Like, I'm not right.
00:39:17.280 --> 00:39:17.679
I don't know.
00:39:18.079 --> 00:39:19.519
Yeah, I mean, I guess I don't yeah.
00:39:19.599 --> 00:39:21.039
I mean, you're maybe, I don't know.
00:39:21.119 --> 00:39:31.440
I don't I think I I mean I did have a situation once where I was in a relationship with somebody and was still communicating with my ex.
00:39:32.159 --> 00:39:36.400
And I probably wasn't quite completely honest about that.
00:39:37.039 --> 00:39:39.679
Yes, that was a bad thing that you did.
00:39:42.719 --> 00:39:46.400
That I would not be okay with, and I would have a curious issue.
00:39:46.639 --> 00:39:47.840
Um, so yeah.
00:39:48.239 --> 00:39:59.760
You were trying really hard to like like protect someone else's feelings because you didn't want to mean it it turned out it put you in a situation that made someone else feel comfortable, which was unfair.
00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:00.400
Yes.
00:40:00.639 --> 00:40:03.039
I would not I would not like that.
00:40:03.360 --> 00:40:04.400
Right, right, right.
00:40:04.559 --> 00:40:07.039
Well, and I should have like I wasn't honest, like none of that was good.
00:40:07.119 --> 00:40:08.000
That was bad on me.
00:40:09.119 --> 00:40:14.559
Um they have no social media one, two, three, yes, love.
00:40:15.119 --> 00:40:16.639
You know, so interesting.
00:40:17.440 --> 00:40:19.280
Don't remember you told until I met him.
00:40:20.480 --> 00:40:25.119
He doesn't even have a Facebook like none.
00:40:25.280 --> 00:40:26.400
It's the best.
00:40:26.880 --> 00:40:29.440
Why would I want them to have like all this social media?
00:40:29.599 --> 00:40:33.760
First of all, I think it's fucking weird when boys like social media, but that's besides the point.
00:40:34.239 --> 00:40:38.960
Well, like, so yeah, I mean, I guess that would be good.
00:40:39.119 --> 00:40:44.880
I mean, look, Mark has typically post or like or do anything.
00:40:45.119 --> 00:40:45.920
Right, that's what I'm saying.
00:40:46.000 --> 00:40:54.719
Like, no, I think when they say doesn't have social media, I mean it means they're like not that they're never on Instagram, it means they're like they're not actively posting.
00:40:58.320 --> 00:41:07.440
Although I always think it's weird if you see a guy, I mean, I get like the younger girls, but like you see a guy like actively posting, like exactly.
00:41:07.679 --> 00:41:10.239
So my answer is yes, exclamation point.
00:41:10.639 --> 00:41:11.599
Right, okay.
00:41:11.920 --> 00:41:12.480
All right.
00:41:13.039 --> 00:41:16.800
Um they make significantly less money than you.
00:41:20.239 --> 00:41:21.840
We just had this conversation, didn't we?
00:41:22.000 --> 00:41:22.400
The other day.
00:41:22.559 --> 00:41:22.719
Yeah.
00:41:23.360 --> 00:41:38.559
So here's the thing I think when you're my like when you're the age I was when you're dating, it's totally fine because life were you're you're develop you're creating the life that you're gonna live.
00:41:40.079 --> 00:41:42.239
Um like I would be okay with that.
00:41:42.320 --> 00:41:45.440
I'm also like an independent woman and like make my own money.
00:41:45.679 --> 00:41:49.360
So all that to say, like I don't need someone to take care of me.
00:41:49.519 --> 00:41:53.199
Now I do understand if there are like children involved, that being difficult.
00:41:53.280 --> 00:41:57.679
You don't want to be like carrying someone along with you.
00:41:58.239 --> 00:41:58.800
Right.
00:41:59.119 --> 00:42:02.559
But I don't know, love is love.
00:42:02.639 --> 00:42:03.679
Like you can't I agree.
00:42:03.920 --> 00:42:06.800
See, I mean, look, is it like my number one choice?
00:42:07.039 --> 00:42:07.280
Right.
00:42:07.440 --> 00:42:08.239
No, of course not.
00:42:08.480 --> 00:42:10.480
But like you meet who you meet, you love who you love.
00:42:10.639 --> 00:42:10.719
Right.
00:42:10.880 --> 00:42:29.280
I mean, I do think that's the other thing with like the going back to what we started talking about is with uh apps and stuff, it's so easy to discount um, oh, they're a whatever, they're this, I'm not gonna go out with them because they're not in finance or a lawyer or a blah blah blah, you know, whatever.
00:42:30.000 --> 00:42:52.079
And whereas, you know, you meet somebody, you know, maybe you have a general understanding of what they do, but you it's not it's not so easy to dismiss them, plus you've met them, totally, you know, and you're and you like them and you have a connection with them, you like and then you realize, oh, we're a little bit disparate in terms of our income, blah, blah, blah, which is very different.
00:42:52.639 --> 00:42:54.079
A little bit different.
00:42:54.400 --> 00:42:54.960
Yeah.
00:42:55.199 --> 00:42:56.800
Well, but listen, life.
00:42:57.119 --> 00:43:10.159
Although I do know people who have been together who have somebody that I worked with um at Stradley, she was a pretty high-powered partner at Stradley, and her husband was a hairstylist.
00:43:10.320 --> 00:43:11.519
I'm not saying he didn't make any money.
00:43:11.760 --> 00:43:21.119
No, but also like I I'm gonna go out and say 100% yes because things change.
00:43:21.440 --> 00:43:30.559
Yes, and people lose their jobs, people like fall on hard times, and it literally doesn't matter what that person's paycheck was.
00:43:30.719 --> 00:43:34.559
You need to like love each other, support each other, and be able to get through hard shit.
00:43:34.800 --> 00:43:36.000
And that is what matters.
00:43:36.239 --> 00:43:39.679
So, my answer, my without caveat is yes.
00:43:39.920 --> 00:43:40.880
Good for you, honey.
00:43:40.960 --> 00:43:41.760
I'm proud of you.
00:43:43.599 --> 00:43:47.920
Um, they're perfect on paper, but there's no immediate chemistry.
00:43:48.159 --> 00:43:50.239
No, it's perfect on it's dumb.
00:43:50.320 --> 00:43:51.840
There's no such thing, to be honest.
00:43:52.159 --> 00:43:54.400
Well, I mean, they could meet all your like checklists.
00:43:54.480 --> 00:43:59.760
Look, I always said when I was dating you, and I always like I would kid around like about this, you know.
00:44:00.480 --> 00:44:07.679
When you meet somebody for the first time, you know whether you would ever consider, I don't mean dating them, being in a relationship with them, any of that.
00:44:07.840 --> 00:44:13.360
You know whether you would ever consider kissing them pretty much within like, I don't know, first 60 seconds of meeting them.
00:44:13.519 --> 00:44:15.599
Maybe I'll give it five minutes for the sake of it.
00:44:16.000 --> 00:44:16.400
Right?
00:44:16.639 --> 00:44:17.119
Agreed.
00:44:17.840 --> 00:44:20.960
And if you don't, if the answer is no, the answer is no.
00:44:21.199 --> 00:44:22.559
I also think perfect on paper.
00:44:23.199 --> 00:44:23.920
I don't think, right.
00:44:24.000 --> 00:44:31.119
I don't think perfect on paper means I think, well, I mean, I could come up with a scenario where I'd be like, oh, they're this, they're this, they're this, they have a good job, they have never great.
00:44:31.840 --> 00:44:32.480
They always suck.
00:44:33.440 --> 00:44:36.079
Well, also, if there's no chemistry, what is the freaking point?
00:44:36.320 --> 00:44:37.280
Exactly.
00:44:37.679 --> 00:44:46.559
Um, although I always like to say, I do know somebody, went out with him like a couple times and was like, I don't think there's a lot of chemistry, and then all of a sudden it clicked.
00:44:46.719 --> 00:44:47.679
I guess it can happen.
00:44:47.920 --> 00:44:48.960
I don't know.
00:44:49.920 --> 00:44:56.320
Um what's my wait, I think that's I think, oh wait, everybody, they're incredible.
00:44:56.559 --> 00:44:57.440
Well, this is obvious.
00:44:57.599 --> 00:45:01.280
Well, they're incredibly charming, but everyone warns you about them.
00:45:02.079 --> 00:45:03.840
Well, warns you what?
00:45:04.480 --> 00:45:07.760
I guess that they're incredibly charming, but tells you they're like a heel.
00:45:07.840 --> 00:45:08.800
I mean, I don't know.
00:45:09.039 --> 00:45:10.320
Like they're a love bomber.
00:45:10.960 --> 00:45:11.679
Yeah, maybe.
00:45:11.840 --> 00:45:12.239
I don't know.
00:45:12.400 --> 00:45:15.679
I mean, I do think some people are like, oh, I want to find out for myself.
00:45:15.760 --> 00:45:18.880
And I think that's fine if you want to do that, if you go into it with your eyes open.
00:45:19.039 --> 00:45:19.199
Yeah.
00:45:19.440 --> 00:45:25.039
I mean, if I thought somebody was very charming, I mean, I might want to give it a go for a little bit and see what's up.
00:45:25.840 --> 00:45:30.000
Life is about learning, like it's all a story for a story.
00:45:30.079 --> 00:45:32.800
Like, like Julie always used to say, do it for the content.
00:45:32.960 --> 00:45:36.800
Like, I don't know, more either not charming on your own.
00:45:37.119 --> 00:45:37.760
Right.
00:45:38.079 --> 00:45:38.480
Right.
00:45:38.719 --> 00:45:39.199
Yeah.
00:45:39.360 --> 00:45:40.880
I mean, you never know.
00:45:41.280 --> 00:45:50.320
I mean, I do think, I mean, I can think of a couple of my guy friends who were definitely like a bit of a I don't know if they still say like a player or whatever.
00:45:50.400 --> 00:46:03.760
And like, if I had, if somebody had been interested in them at the time, I would have been like, no, not well, not like they weren't a bad person, but just they were not going to be ready to be in a relationship.
00:46:03.920 --> 00:46:04.159
Right.
00:46:04.239 --> 00:46:07.280
Um, and they were just like interested in like dating around.
00:46:07.519 --> 00:46:09.920
And then, you know, whatever.
00:46:10.079 --> 00:46:13.119
They find somebody that they want to stay with and then they change their mind.
00:46:13.199 --> 00:46:14.320
I mean, that happens all the time.
00:46:14.559 --> 00:46:15.360
Totally.
00:46:15.679 --> 00:46:16.960
So you never know.
00:46:17.280 --> 00:46:17.599
Okay.
00:46:18.880 --> 00:46:24.159
Um, yeah, that's that's our that's our little that's our relationship dive.
00:46:24.400 --> 00:46:25.599
That's our relationship dive.
00:46:25.679 --> 00:46:31.039
I mean again, I even think like in the past five years, dating has probably changed a lot.
00:46:31.599 --> 00:46:32.239
Yeah.
00:46:32.800 --> 00:46:37.920
But that's our take on it from when we did it.
00:46:38.480 --> 00:46:39.119
Yeah.
00:46:39.840 --> 00:46:45.760
And you know, go out there and meet them up on whatever app you you like.
00:46:46.079 --> 00:46:47.599
Yeah, or no appeal funny.
00:46:47.760 --> 00:46:51.440
What was the oh somewhere in my phone?
00:46:51.679 --> 00:46:54.079
I still have con contacts.
00:46:54.239 --> 00:46:55.599
I don't know why I didn't take them out.
00:46:55.679 --> 00:47:00.880
Obviously, I'm it's like, you know, Mike from OKC from OK Key.
00:47:01.199 --> 00:47:02.079
That's funny, mom.
00:47:02.559 --> 00:47:04.000
That's really funny.
00:47:05.920 --> 00:47:07.199
Or plenty of delete contacts.
00:47:07.440 --> 00:47:10.480
Plenty of plenty of fish was another one back then.
00:47:10.719 --> 00:47:12.400
I loved plenty of fish.
00:47:13.360 --> 00:47:14.880
Plenty of fish in the sea.
00:47:15.199 --> 00:47:16.400
Find yours.
00:47:17.679 --> 00:47:19.679
Oh god, horrible stuff.
00:47:20.239 --> 00:47:22.320
Um Liv has now FaceTime me twice.
00:47:22.400 --> 00:47:23.440
Like, I'm busy, girl.
00:47:23.840 --> 00:47:24.800
Yeah, sorry, Liv.
00:47:24.960 --> 00:47:26.320
We're in the we'll we'll be done in a second.
00:47:26.400 --> 00:47:28.079
All right, real quick, we're doing rapid fire.
00:47:28.239 --> 00:47:28.559
Ready?
00:47:28.800 --> 00:47:31.039
Okay, but I'm not like I'm not rapidly ready.
00:47:31.119 --> 00:47:31.440
Okay.
00:47:31.920 --> 00:47:34.800
Um something you're loving.
00:47:36.239 --> 00:47:37.920
She goes, I go, I'm podcasting.
00:47:38.079 --> 00:47:39.760
She goes, can you hurry?
00:47:42.320 --> 00:47:44.079
Well, tell her you'll be there in five.
00:47:44.480 --> 00:47:47.360
Like, I'm dying.
00:47:47.440 --> 00:47:48.480
I go, I'm potting.
00:47:48.639 --> 00:47:49.840
She goes, can you hurry?
00:47:50.000 --> 00:47:52.719
And then she goes, Oh, I thought you meant pooping.
00:48:00.400 --> 00:48:00.719
Okay.
00:48:01.039 --> 00:48:03.599
Well, either way, give me about five and we'll be done.
00:48:03.679 --> 00:48:04.400
Let's wrap it up.
00:48:04.559 --> 00:48:04.800
Okay.
00:48:06.079 --> 00:48:06.480
Loving.
00:48:06.719 --> 00:48:07.599
Sorry, I wasn't holding this.
00:48:07.920 --> 00:48:08.559
Loving.
00:48:10.000 --> 00:48:11.360
I loved the sauna bag.
00:48:11.440 --> 00:48:12.079
It felt good.
00:48:12.320 --> 00:48:12.719
Good.
00:48:13.039 --> 00:48:13.360
You.
00:48:14.719 --> 00:48:19.440
Um, I I kind of like I'm just all in all of a sudden into like band workouts.
00:48:19.679 --> 00:48:20.639
We did one this morning.
00:48:20.719 --> 00:48:22.480
I made Peter do it outside with me.
00:48:22.800 --> 00:48:24.880
I I I'm really I'm really enjoying them.
00:48:25.039 --> 00:48:25.519
Me too.
00:48:26.159 --> 00:48:27.039
Just a new thing.
00:48:27.679 --> 00:48:28.159
Hating.
00:48:29.119 --> 00:48:34.400
Uh I gotta say, I hate the tags in clothing.
00:48:34.639 --> 00:48:34.880
Yeah.
00:48:35.199 --> 00:48:37.440
I first of all, Zara tags.
00:48:37.519 --> 00:48:39.599
Now you're gonna be like, you shouldn't be buying Zara.
00:48:40.079 --> 00:48:41.119
Um precise.
00:48:41.440 --> 00:48:46.559
They're I it's like they're like designed to be to be in the spot that is the most uncomfortable.
00:48:46.639 --> 00:48:49.360
And even when you cut it out, it's still not good enough.
00:48:49.519 --> 00:48:55.679
You have to like go in and like do more, you know, whatever, cutting to get the hard thing off.
00:48:55.840 --> 00:48:56.480
I don't understand.
00:48:56.559 --> 00:48:59.519
Like, why do there have to be four tags in a piece of clothing?
00:49:00.239 --> 00:49:06.719
Like, can't they have a QR code you can just scan it for the for the content, material, and cleaning requirements?
00:49:06.960 --> 00:49:07.199
Yeah.
00:49:07.440 --> 00:49:08.639
Maybe somebody should design that.
00:49:08.719 --> 00:49:10.320
Maybe we should design that.
00:49:10.559 --> 00:49:11.599
I'm serious.
00:49:11.840 --> 00:49:16.800
Have it be a stamp in the back of a clothing that has a size and a brand and a QR code.
00:49:17.679 --> 00:49:19.599
And all of those reasons.
00:49:20.719 --> 00:49:21.519
I hate them.
00:49:21.679 --> 00:49:23.119
It's I find them really annoying.
00:49:23.199 --> 00:49:27.199
Even in like my new Skims underwear, like the tag is massive.
00:49:27.519 --> 00:49:27.760
Why?
00:49:28.320 --> 00:49:29.760
Oh, I look so dumb.
00:49:30.800 --> 00:49:33.920
I mean, is there is there tags in the Skims underwear?
00:49:34.159 --> 00:49:36.239
The like massive hard tags.
00:49:36.400 --> 00:49:37.840
Oh I don't understand.
00:49:37.920 --> 00:49:40.559
I mean, I'm cut I cut them all out, obviously, but like why?
00:49:40.800 --> 00:49:42.960
Anyway, that's just my I don't enjoy.
00:49:43.519 --> 00:49:48.079
Um watching, same thing, nothing exciting to report here.
00:49:48.159 --> 00:49:49.119
I'm still watching Mad Men.
00:49:49.199 --> 00:49:56.239
Although there was a we watched an episode last night, which was in the first season, there was like a big interesting reveal, which was on the first season of Mad Men?
00:49:56.480 --> 00:49:58.880
Yeah, you've been watching it for like weeks.
00:49:59.199 --> 00:50:02.079
Well, we don't always watch it, we watched a couple other things in between.
00:50:02.400 --> 00:50:02.800
Huh.
00:50:02.960 --> 00:50:03.280
Okay.
00:50:03.760 --> 00:50:05.199
So you're loving it.
00:50:05.440 --> 00:50:06.880
I I really I am enjoying it.
00:50:06.960 --> 00:50:11.840
We watched like an episode occasionally too a night, and not always every night.
00:50:12.000 --> 00:50:13.280
And I was away for a while.
00:50:13.519 --> 00:50:13.840
Okay.
00:50:14.159 --> 00:50:14.880
Anyway.
00:50:15.039 --> 00:50:15.360
Yeah.
00:50:15.599 --> 00:50:17.920
You've been watching that for really long, whatever, regardless.
00:50:18.079 --> 00:50:18.800
Anyway.
00:50:21.039 --> 00:50:22.079
What are you watching?
00:50:22.239 --> 00:50:22.639
I didn't know.
00:50:22.880 --> 00:50:25.360
You're still watching Gray, so like I don't think you have room to talk about it.
00:50:26.079 --> 00:50:27.039
Am I hating?
00:50:27.599 --> 00:50:28.800
Oh, what are you hating?
00:50:28.960 --> 00:50:32.079
I'm hating that I can't find fucking friendship whipped cottage cheese anywhere.
00:50:32.159 --> 00:50:33.840
It's driving me that shit fucking crazy.
00:50:34.079 --> 00:50:35.119
I'm gonna tell you where you get it.
00:50:35.440 --> 00:50:35.920
Where?
00:50:36.320 --> 00:50:36.880
Acme.
00:50:37.199 --> 00:50:37.360
Okay.
00:50:37.599 --> 00:50:39.440
Not all either, but acme.
00:50:39.920 --> 00:50:40.960
I'm gonna go to the one here.
00:50:41.280 --> 00:50:44.800
Specifically, there's one on the one on South Street, it has a lot, but if you want, I'll tell.
00:50:45.119 --> 00:50:46.400
I know, isn't that weird?
00:50:46.639 --> 00:50:47.280
Well, I'm not.
00:50:47.360 --> 00:50:49.039
I'm gonna go to the one here and see if they have it.
00:50:49.199 --> 00:50:50.480
Okay, well, if they don't have it, let me know.
00:50:50.559 --> 00:50:53.360
I'll pick up extras for you and bring them to you because it is hard to find.
00:50:53.440 --> 00:50:54.480
It's ridiculous.
00:50:54.800 --> 00:50:56.239
Rid ridiculous.
00:50:56.400 --> 00:50:56.559
Okay.
00:50:56.639 --> 00:50:57.039
I'm done.
00:50:57.360 --> 00:51:01.599
Watching Gray's same um reasoning.
00:51:02.239 --> 00:51:04.719
Still reading the same list.
00:51:05.119 --> 00:51:07.920
Like, I can't get through it, and I'm like not reading it enough.
00:51:08.000 --> 00:51:09.679
I need to- I started that Dolly book.
00:51:09.760 --> 00:51:14.559
I don't know what it is, but it's you said that it seems it seems like fluffy and entertaining.
00:51:14.800 --> 00:51:15.119
Okay.
00:51:15.280 --> 00:51:17.360
I'm looking at listening.
00:51:17.679 --> 00:51:18.800
I'm not listening to any.
00:51:18.880 --> 00:51:22.719
I mean, this maybe we need to amend these because like it doesn't change that much week to week.
00:51:22.800 --> 00:51:27.599
I'm not listening to anything like crazy different than I was listening to last week.
00:51:27.920 --> 00:51:28.320
Fair.
00:51:28.880 --> 00:51:29.199
Okay.
00:51:29.440 --> 00:51:34.639
Um I am watching listening to uh this guy medium build who I saw at Newport.
00:51:35.360 --> 00:51:35.679
He's fun.
00:51:35.920 --> 00:51:36.320
It's a name.
00:51:36.559 --> 00:51:37.280
Kind of like him.
00:51:37.440 --> 00:51:38.000
Yeah.
00:51:38.239 --> 00:51:41.760
Um, but yeah, we can we can we can consider modifying that.
00:51:41.840 --> 00:51:43.519
Maybe just hate love and like one R thing.
00:51:43.679 --> 00:51:45.599
We'll throw it in just for the heck of it.
00:51:45.840 --> 00:51:46.239
We'll see.
00:51:46.639 --> 00:51:47.679
We'll see how it goes.
00:51:47.920 --> 00:51:48.559
All right.
00:51:49.840 --> 00:51:50.400
Love you.
00:51:50.639 --> 00:51:51.039
Love you.
00:51:51.280 --> 00:51:51.679
Bye.
00:51:52.159 --> 00:51:52.719
Bye.