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Speaker 1: What's up everybody and welcome that's right you just tuned in to real laughs on real radio 104.1 i am your host and i feel good today people i'm your host mr james yon and i feel good you know how you can tell i feel good i got my tank top on now if you listen on the radio you can see it bro the sun ain't even out but my guns it.
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Speaker 2: Is the red one too not the white not the wife beater but i'm talking like the red.
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Speaker 1: One it's red son i just got some brand new wife beaters now i'm gonna Now, I'm going to say something real quick. As a grown-ass man, I'm going to tell you, ain't nothing like getting a brand new pack of white beaters to make you feel all right. Bruh, I love my single white beater.
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Speaker 3: Clean. You feel all right, man. I'm going to wear these out. Not stretched out. It's not like one side's longer than the other.
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Speaker 1: We got a very great show for you guys today, and I got some great guys with me, man. I love these guys to death. They're my comedy brothers. First, I'm going to start with the godfather of Orlando comedy. You know him as Ken Miller, but today he is Vacay Ken.
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Speaker 3: Come on.
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Speaker 4: I like that, bro. We're about to go on vacation, brother.
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Speaker 5: Yeah. I just got back. I had a blast. I had, and I was telling Sean, I can't tell you when we, the last time we took, I got a vacation, vacation, not like a day.
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Speaker 3: Not working the club.
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Speaker 6: You know what I mean? So we had a really good time.
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Speaker 1: We went to Bimini.
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Speaker 5: Um, we'll talk about later in the show, but yeah, man, we had, we had a good time, but I will say this in 2026, I'm gonna need you to stop saying wife be the homie.
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Speaker 3: Can't say that.
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Speaker 1: Come on B. You can't say it no more, B. Tank top. Tank top.
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Speaker 6: No, they call it choker bitch now.
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Speaker 5: Look, so what we got... I didn't know we could say that.
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Speaker 3: I don't know if we can. I don't know if we can. I got to check with somebody. I got to call management on that one.
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Speaker 5: Hey, we call them kick her ass down the steps, B. That's what the new shirt is called, bro. Called a Wayne Brady? Called a Wayne Brady.
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Speaker 3: Oh, see, that's funny, man. Ken is fresh off vacation.
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Speaker 1: That brother went somewhere traveling with the Bimini Boppity Boo. And now he's back with us. Good to have you, bro. Good to have you back.
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Speaker 6: Yeah, we'll chat about it later, man.
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Speaker 1: I'm sure we will, man. Can't wait to hear about it. We also got Mr. Jeff Kaufman, our official sponsor from Kaufman and Lynn, rocking Orlando magic, if you will. Not only is he a great attorney, my man makes comic books and he is a comedian.
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Speaker 3: And if you guys.
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Speaker 1: Ever need anything as far as personal injury and law. Call Kaufman and Lynn. Go to whenyouneedus.com. They've been waiting to represent the good people of Orlando for almost 30 years.
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Speaker 3: And they got a great number for you. 30 years. 30 years, baby. Come on, man.
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Speaker 5: 30 years.
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Speaker 3: Yo. 30 años.
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Speaker 1: Give him a call. Give him a call.
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Speaker 6: 407-500-JEFF. 407-500-JEFF.
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Speaker 5: Slip or fall, car accident, kicking their ass. If your team loses to Tampa Bay by 35 points, you should be able to call Jeff and sue.
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Speaker 1: The Panthers, bro.
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Speaker 3: Yes, bro.
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Speaker 1: If your feelings were hurt because Jay-Z got announced as the official performer of halftime.
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Speaker 5: Hey, first of all, hey, Tampa, I was in Tampa Saturday. Shout out to Tony Roberts, man. I got to work that show. Hey, Tampa, I just want to say I apologize. I walked around that city with a cigar in my hand talking mad junk about Carolina was going to beat the Bucs. I was talking junk to everybody. That Wilford Reserve had me on one. I was talking to everybody. Everybody, everybody, everybody. I was, hey, mad junk.
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Speaker 1: Hey, dog.
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Speaker 5: And when I woke up after they lost, man, dog, the amount of text messages.
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Speaker 1: And emails and Instagram. Carolina got beat so bad.
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Speaker 5: They changed the game to a game from 2019. They didn't go to a recent game.
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Speaker 1: Cam Newton was in the game. They went to a Cam Newton game. Hey, I heard they was losing so bad. They asked Cam to come on the field and play now. Bring your hat on the field, bro. It was a debacle, bro.
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Speaker 3: Was it a slobber knocker?
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Speaker 1: That's what I'm about to say. He said slobber knocker.
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Speaker 3: He was bad, man. Hey, man. What's the record right now for Carolina, though?
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Speaker 1: They're number one in the division.
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Speaker 5: They're number one in the division, but that division's terrible. Hold on.
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Speaker 3: You gotta love this.
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Speaker 2: Tampa basically tanked their first four games, and they're still in the playoff hunt by one game.
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Speaker 3: That's how bad that division is.
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Speaker 6: That's how bad that division is, bro.
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Speaker 1: Good God, man.
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Speaker 5: Tampa won. Atlanta beat the Falcons. I mean, Atlanta beat the 49ers, who No, 49ers who were undefeated. So right now they're pretty much all tied.
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Speaker 1: It's a terrible division. As you know, I'm not a sports guy. I look to you and Jeff to get all my sports knowledge. So in the NFL, who is the team to beat this year so far? It was Kansas City.
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Speaker 5: Minnesota's undefeated. Yeah, they lost last night. Minnesota's undefeated and somebody else is undefeated.
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Speaker 2: I still think the Bills are going to be a hard team to beat.
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Speaker 3: They'll be there at the end.
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Speaker 5: Yeah, but then they get in the playoffs and stink it up.
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Speaker 1: Last year was their year.
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Speaker 5: Last year was their year because, one, Patrick Mahomes was out, who was knocking them out the playoffs. Baltimore wasn't that good. So it was their year last year, and they choked it. Bro, you know what's crazy?
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Speaker 3: Painful.
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Speaker 1: You know what's crazy? The Browns are number one in their division.
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Speaker 3: Really?
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Speaker 2: Who's quarterbacking for that team now?
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Speaker 1: Oh, S.A.
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Speaker 3: Watson.
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Speaker 7: S.A.
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Speaker 3: Woo.
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Speaker 7: Yeah.
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Speaker 1: Sexual Assault Watson is the QB.
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Speaker 3: Damn.
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Speaker 1: Damn.
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Speaker 3: Damn. No, he settled everything. Come on. He settled it all.
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Speaker 1: Yeah. But they had no choice, dude.
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Speaker 3: He's like Michael Jackson. He wrote the check. I've learned this from you, Jeff.
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Speaker 4: Just because you don't get convicted don't mean you didn't do it.
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Speaker 3: Hey, listen. You wrote the check. He paid the girls mortgages for the next 20 years. He did the job.
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Speaker 5: Yeah, because he got a stupid contract. It was like 10 years, $ 250 million. His contract was like crazy, bro. Crazy contract.
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Speaker 1: But I'm sorry.
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Speaker 6: I don't care.
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Speaker 5: Jeff, you my lawyer, you know that. I will fight to the end. I ain't writing no checks.
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Speaker 3: For real? You didn't do it?
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Speaker 2: I don't want it because you ain't got money to write the checks.
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Speaker 5: I ain't got i know i'm saying if i had the money i'm not fighting i'm not fighting you're not about to get my money then i look guilty because i don't pay you now.
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Speaker 2: Says the head of the hoa he sent more bills out to people over grass and people write that check every time.
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Speaker 1: Hey but the difference is those people did it yeah they did it i didn't do.
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Speaker 6: It if i didn't do it i'm fighting now what do.
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Speaker 1: You think he didn't do We're saying for us, us in that situation.
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Speaker 2: He paid the extra for the end and 19 women took the money and then afterwards came after him and said, hey, listen, he shouldn't have asked us to do this.
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Speaker 3: And that's how it played out.
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Speaker 1: If 19 people. There was a big number.
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Speaker 3: Look it up.
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Speaker 5: If 21 people point at you and say he did it, he might have did it.
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Speaker 3: Yeah, that's true. That's true.
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Speaker 5: At one, I'm like, I don't know, man.
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Speaker 1: At two, I'm like, that's crazy.
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Speaker 3: You ain't hear what he said.
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Speaker 5: He said 19 took the money.
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Speaker 3: Took the money. Everybody got paid. The Browns paid a lot of people. Somebody said, that wasn't right. Hey, listen, listen.
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Speaker 2: Remember, you forget the Michael Jackson thing. Michael paid over $ 20 million.
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Speaker 3: For the first kid. He wrote that check. No, you know that.
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Speaker 2: That's what Chris Rock, remember Chris Rock's joke, we let the first kid slide? The first kid got almost the same amount of money as Michael paid for the Beatles catalog.
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Speaker 3: Damn. You know what? Best money he ever spent because the party was over then. Sometimes you pay to get out of the trouble.
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Speaker 6: Michael, that was the dumbest thing you could have done.
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Speaker 1: You gave that.
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Speaker 6: Kid $ 20 million.
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Speaker 1: Now the world thinks you're a child molester.
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Speaker 3: No. It bought him 10 more years of his career, man.
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Speaker 1: Come on.
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Speaker 5: I would have fought. But yeah, but 10 years of people still... Thinking he molested a kid.
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Speaker 3: They got video games with him on now.
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Speaker 5: The fact that you think paying somebody off and now you're good, it's crazy to think that way, Jeff.
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Speaker 3: It's crazy. It's the way we work.
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Speaker 1: That's crazy.
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Speaker 3: Hold on. You forget Kobe Bryant did the same thing. He took care of the girl in Denver, wrote her a check.
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Speaker 4: Then he got his career back.
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Speaker 7: Guys, to be honest, in my opinion, In my opinion, too, though, think about, like, for other child molesters, he just raised the price ridiculously out of their range.
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Speaker 3: Good God. Good God, dude. Man. Right here. He's at the bar.
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Speaker 8: Yeah, they're like $ 20 million.
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Speaker 3: Michael, it used to be.
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Speaker 7: Like $ 700, and we gave them some free ice cream.
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Speaker 3: The salary cap went up. Yeah, you out here.
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Speaker 7: You out here just inflating the prices, man.
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Speaker 3: Hey, hey, hey, hey, man. That's how you come on the show, though.
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Speaker 1: Yeah.
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Speaker 3: Yeah.
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Speaker 1: I didn't even know half of what we were talking about.
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Speaker 3: I said, I want to participate. God bless.
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Speaker 1: All I'm saying is this, Miguel.
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Speaker 5: I'm saying if I'm accused of something and I know I didn't do it, I'm not paying the five to paying them off.
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Speaker 3: Legally, it's called a best interest plea. That's what it is. Sometimes you do things.
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Speaker 1: I have to convince people all the time because what happens is you're not going to roll the.
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Speaker 3: You know who should have wrote the check? Cosby. Cosby should have wrote the damn check.
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Speaker 2: Cosby wound up in prison and only got lucky to get out on a technicality.
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Speaker 4: People knew Cosby raped people.
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Speaker 2: If he would have wrote the check, he wouldn't have had to.
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Speaker 3: Deal with it.
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Speaker 1: But he would have been known as a rapist.
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Speaker 5: You think writing a check just makes people erase the memory?
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Speaker 2: No, I'm telling you, it buys you your freedom.
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Speaker 3: I think I know, but honestly, I think I know what Jeff's saying.
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Speaker 7: He's saying he's never going to be able to convince the people who believe he did it. And at that point, I guess Jeff's just saying as a lawyer, he's going to look at it and be like, I'm sorry to tell you this. Anybody who wants to believe you did it already believes you did it. I can only take away the fact that we won't be tied up in court forever. They won't be asking any more embarrassing questions, digging through your life, your financials.
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Speaker 3: You might not lose more.
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Speaker 2: Yeah. Remember the poker stars? Remember they had those online poker places where you used to play all the time?
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Speaker 3: There were three guys that lived in Antigua.
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Speaker 2: And one of them goes, you know what? I don't think I did anything wrong. I'm going to fight the charges. And he went back to the U.S. and he got prisoned.
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Speaker 3: And the two guys who.
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Speaker 2: Didn't go back, they're on their golf course in Antigua going, he's stupid.
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Speaker 3: He should have stayed right here. But, you know, sometimes the difference is.
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Speaker 1: Again, you're talking about people who did it. That guy did it.
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Speaker 3: Well, he didn't think he did it. He didn't think he did anything wrong.
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Speaker 1: If I didn't do it, I want to fight. And here's why I say that. Because there's a stigma to being a PDF.
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Speaker 4: Like, that you can't shake, man. I get that, Ken.
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Speaker 3: Like, I don't want.
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Speaker 1: People to think about me.
00:12:44
Speaker 3: Yeah.
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Speaker 5: And if I lose, if I lose, then I just kill everybody.
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Speaker 1: It's simple, bro. I'm going to.
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Speaker 3: Walk in the courtroom.
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Speaker 7: I'm going to show the judge my thing real quick and then throw.
00:13:01
Speaker 3: The kid a pencil and say, draw it right now, what it look like.
00:13:06
Speaker 7: You saw it, y'all. He didn't even bring up the other one. So he needs to get two.
00:13:14
Speaker 8: They cross paths like a snake at the hospital.
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Speaker 3: Oh, my God.
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Speaker 4: This is how we go out.
00:13:24
Speaker 3: I like it.
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Speaker 1: I like it a lot, man.
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Speaker 3: God bless, man.
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Speaker 5: I'll tell you this, man.
00:13:32
Speaker 3: The law is a funny thing.
00:13:34
Speaker 1: Now, we got about 30 seconds left, and I just want to take this 30 seconds real quick to give a shout out to friends and family of comedian Goldie, who lost his battle with cancer, my friend, and passed away. We just want to give our thoughts and prayers to his loved ones out there, man. I hated to hear the news. He had been battling this for a while, but it finally got to.
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Speaker 3: A place where he couldn't travel, he couldn't really move.
00:14:01
Speaker 1: And he knew that he didn't have long, but he stayed in great spirits. He still just was Goldie that we knew.
00:14:09
Speaker 3: Goldie was a real one, man.
00:14:10
Speaker 1: Yes, he was.
00:14:11
Speaker 3: I did a couple shows.
00:14:12
Speaker 7: I did some shows with Goldie a couple times.
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Speaker 3: He was a real one.
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Speaker 1: He was, man.
00:14:17
Speaker 3: Love him.
00:14:17
Speaker 1: Good dude, man.
00:14:18
Speaker 3: God bless.
00:14:19
Speaker 1: Just want to say our thoughts and prayers go out to his loved ones.
00:14:21
Speaker 3: Thank you guys. Don't go anywhere.
00:14:23
Speaker 1: We'll be right back. This is Real Laughs on Real Radio. Welcome back, everybody. You are still listening to Real Lives on Real Radio 104.1. It's me, your host, James John, with Ken, a.k.a. the Godfather of Orlando Comedy, and a.k.a. Vacay Ken. He just got back. Jeff, the Batman Coffin from Coffin and Lynn, your official personal injury attorneys here in Orlando, representing and winning for the good of people for almost 30 years. And we got my brother in the house.
00:15:02
Speaker 3: That's right.
00:15:03
Speaker 1: Miguel Colon been on the road touring. Hi, hi, hi.
00:15:08
Speaker 3: That's right.
00:15:08
Speaker 1: Back.
00:15:09
Speaker 3: Colon Jr. in the house.
00:15:10
Speaker 1: Uh, Real quick, man, I just want to say a shout out to all the people out there who follow me on social media, because thanks to you guys, I just hit a little milestone, man. I'm up to 12,000 followers, which ain't.
00:15:21
Speaker 3: A lot to a lot of you. It's a victory for me. I'll take it. A lot of white women in their 40s know who you are. Amen.
00:15:30
Speaker 1: A lot.
00:15:30
Speaker 3: I see all those Disney ladies on the feed. That's what it is.
00:15:34
Speaker 1: That's what it is. Now, here's the thing that I've noticed, man, in my short little time in this new space, I find myself in on social media. People will hit you up trying to get you to do stuff. Now, Miguel, I know you must go through this with Mike when you guys work at the castle. People want to hit him up because he has a certain amount of notoriety. Here's the thing I'm learning. People don't want to actually pay you, though. What they tell me is, hey. Love your stuff. Love your content. We're a water park.
00:16:00
Speaker 4: We'd love to have you and Devin come out and do some stuff with us.
00:16:03
Speaker 3: I'm like, all right, cool, cool. So you want to show?
00:16:05
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah.
00:16:05
Speaker 3: We'd love a show. OK, what's the pay?
00:16:08
Speaker 4: Oh, you want to get paid to do?
00:16:10
Speaker 3: Yeah.
00:16:12
Speaker 4: Or somebody will hit me up. I got an idea, man. We could do this trivia at this big.
00:16:17
Speaker 1: Uh convention at megacon we're doing disney trivia we'll have you guys come out and do the whole trivia thing you and devin can be on separate teams it'll be like two hours i'm like cool cool that sounds awesome man right up our alley how much we get paid oh you want to get paid bro do you find.
00:16:35
Speaker 4: That that happens a lot when you.
00:16:36
Speaker 7: Yeah man and then and here's i'm gonna teach you the question here listeners too don't ask how much you get paid Say, let me see your budget. Let me see what I can put together for you.
00:16:49
Speaker 3: Got it.
00:16:50
Speaker 7: Because sometimes they'll tell you the budget's X, and you tell them something like, oh, I kind.
00:16:55
Speaker 5: Of want it more.
00:16:56
Speaker 3: Cool.
00:16:57
Speaker 8: We can do more. You just can put more budget on it.
00:17:01
Speaker 7: But yeah, man, people always try to offer stuff, man, free stuff that's not worth it.
00:17:06
Speaker 3: Because sometimes free stuff's worth it. Sometimes they're like, yeah, I got this. This is cool.
00:17:11
Speaker 8: Hey, well, that's cool. I want to do that. So that's cool.
00:17:15
Speaker 7: But then other times they're like, yeah, just come out.
00:17:17
Speaker 3: And it's like, nah, I.
00:17:18
Speaker 1: Don't care about this thing. No, we're not divas. We're not saying we're above things, but our time is worth something. Everybody's time is. And you see it on your level.
00:17:29
Speaker 2: I've had to deal with some high-end celebrities who they try to do that with. where the cost is around $ 100, 000, $ 200, 000, $ 500, 000. Jeff Carpenter said, you're a.
00:17:37
Speaker 3: Dick as good as Jerry. Say nothing. I didn't say that. I'm just kidding. I'm not saying I represent the music people.
00:17:46
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's what you said, Jeff. You're like, oh.
00:17:49
Speaker 8: Jeff said it.
00:17:56
Speaker 3: I agree with you, Jeff.
00:17:57
Speaker 8: I've been trying to tell him and Devin that.
00:17:59
Speaker 7: Your little games, your little reindeer games you guys are playing, hanging out together at Legoland, like 2A.
00:18:04
Speaker 3: You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? Rise with your.
00:18:11
Speaker 7: Letter files, okay? You boys hanging out there at the theme parks.
00:18:15
Speaker 3: I think it's us. I think it's us. Thank you, y'all, as always.
00:18:21
Speaker 1: Hey, hey, James.
00:18:23
Speaker 6: He was like, yeah, man.
00:18:24
Speaker 5: People out here, you know, they don't want to pay me. Jim was like, yeah, but what? Man, you ain't... That $ 500, 000, though?
00:18:29
Speaker 3: Yeah.
00:18:29
Speaker 1: Your little $ 500 to go do Fun Spot? I'm talking about picking up a.
00:18:32
Speaker 3: Chicken sandwich for you.
00:18:32
Speaker 5: Yeah.
00:18:33
Speaker 1: White celebrities, James.
00:18:34
Speaker 5: Wow.
00:18:47
Speaker 1: Oh, Jeff, you got my chest hurting, bro. It's just so funny how people, well, because what happens is I get it. People are monitoring, not monitoring, they're using social media as a barometer. Like, look, if these people have a lot of following, they can bring more customers my way. But you can't get nothing, you know what I mean? You can't get something for nothing. You got to give these people something to come out there. You got to give me some kind of incentive why I would want to do this. And the incentive can't be, well, hey, I'm going to put you on our social media.
00:19:16
Speaker 3: Then i'm helping you.
00:19:18
Speaker 5: You got six followers yeah yeah right yeah yeah yeah.
00:19:23
Speaker 4: And one of them you know yeah.
00:19:26
Speaker 8: I got more followers in your gift shop.
00:19:28
Speaker 1: Dog yeah it's weird it's just a weird space to be in you gotta be like no no thank you but no do.
00:19:38
Speaker 7: It though man just be like hey man just hollywood them The good thing.
00:19:42
Speaker 2: About the budget thing, what he says, what's your budget, because then they can say, oh, let me go back, even though they're not going back, but it allows them to save face. Hey, what's the budget you have on this one? And then they understand, oh, this is professional. Instead of like, how much?
00:19:56
Speaker 1: And there's just certain things that we won't do because it doesn't fit what we're doing.
00:20:02
Speaker 3: What we won't do. Dollars, you got it.
00:20:06
Speaker 1: There's certain things that aren't right for for our, I hate to say brand because it's such an overused thing, but I can't do certain adult themed things as theme park comedians.
00:20:17
Speaker 2: It just don't fit what we do. Also the dumb things they ask you to do. There's dumb tic-tac, like, hey, run down the street like a pirate.
00:20:24
Speaker 3: That's not me. How do pirates run down the street? That's what I want to know. You know, like the Johnny Depp run? I remember they were trying to convince me to do that. I said, no.
00:20:33
Speaker 8: James, it's kind of hard.
00:20:36
Speaker 3: Yeah.
00:20:39
Speaker 1: Yeah. I'm at that point too, man.
00:20:41
Speaker 5: I James, I turned down so much stuff, especially after like wick shows, I get hit up by people, man.
00:20:46
Speaker 6: And they're like, Hey, I got this thing.
00:20:49
Speaker 3: I'm a blah.
00:20:50
Speaker 5: And I'm like, man, It's a Wednesday night. It's at a bar or it's a Wednesday night. It's at your house.
00:20:57
Speaker 1: It's in your back.
00:20:58
Speaker 5: I mean, dude, it's a guy who books these apartment comedy shows.
00:21:01
Speaker 3: Yes.
00:21:02
Speaker 6: And I'm like, man, I did one.
00:21:04
Speaker 1: It's not going to be a good show.
00:21:06
Speaker 6: I just don't want to do it.
00:21:07
Speaker 5: It's not going to be fun. And I hope they don't think I'm diva. I just I'm tired, bro.
00:21:12
Speaker 6: I don't want to do it, man. Like you walk in, man.
00:21:16
Speaker 5: My one of my partners canceled the show to go do another show for better pay he sent me a picture of the show he says man i made a big mistake really he got more money money but he was like man i looked at the money i didn't ask about the event i didn't ask what it was i didn't ask who was gonna be i know i asked nothing i just saw i saw the money and he showed up and he's he's like man it was terrible.
00:21:41
Speaker 1: But can i say this though you we walked we stumbled into a great topic As a comic, I used to feel a type of way of getting my feelings if people would cancel for a show.
00:21:52
Speaker 4: But now I'm not so sure.
00:21:54
Speaker 3: When is it okay to cancel is the question. Yeah, good question. Good question. That's a very good question, man. I mean, day of. The month before or the day of? The day of. Two weeks. That's a douche move.
00:22:06
Speaker 8: Two weeks.
00:22:06
Speaker 7: I mean, I don't want to pretend like I actually think I have an exact number, but at least two weeks.
00:22:12
Speaker 3: You're messing me up, but, you know, okay. I can fix it.
00:22:16
Speaker 1: If you find me somebody.
00:22:17
Speaker 3: Especially if you advertise it.
00:22:19
Speaker 1: Yeah.
00:22:20
Speaker 5: If you find me somebody. Now, Jeff, I'm going to say the reason why I don't think advertising.
00:22:25
Speaker 3: Is that big.
00:22:26
Speaker 5: We're not that famous. Ghost people didn't buy tickets to come see us. They bought tickets to just come to a comedy show. So, now, if it's somebody famous, famous, then, yeah, that's the issue. But, yeah, I've had somebody cancel me same day, but they got me somebody. But if I'm paying you $ 200 and you're going to make $ 800, you better go get that money. But you better give me somebody that is as good as you.
00:22:53
Speaker 2: You guys know I had to do a show where the big headliner and people came in for him and he missed his plane because the plane didn't get off. But I knew being there, those people, they didn't want me no matter how good I was.
00:23:05
Speaker 3: They wanted him. And I killed myself and I walked out of there and I felt bad. Everything reminds me of that. But here's the thing.
00:23:13
Speaker 1: I'm no longer mad at people like that. Like me and Kenny even had a conversation about this. Go get your money comments because I'm learning this business. They would do it to us. And what I mean by that is bookers. Right now, if I was scheduled to perform on Thursday at a club, and I had this booking for three months, but Pauly Shore came into town and said, I want to perform on Thursday, guess who would be bumped from that Thursday show?
00:23:36
Speaker 3: Bro, with the quickness!
00:23:38
Speaker 2: It might keep diving, but you gone.
00:23:44
Speaker 5: It won't give you a guest spot or nothing. It won't let you host. Can I at least feature?
00:23:49
Speaker 3: Nah.
00:23:52
Speaker 7: They could pay me what they were paying me to host, and it still wouldn't affect their bottom line.
00:23:58
Speaker 1: At all.
00:23:59
Speaker 7: Because they're selling more tickets at a higher price, and they still don't.
00:24:03
Speaker 3: Nope.
00:24:04
Speaker 8: They could be like, hey, check it out, man. I got to cancel your headline.
00:24:07
Speaker 3: Hear me out, though.
00:24:07
Speaker 8: I'm going to give you that bread. I'm going to have you host the show.
00:24:10
Speaker 3: I got you. And I'd be cool. I would be cool.
00:24:13
Speaker 7: I'm going to make so much more with this drop-in headliner now. Instead of $ 10 tickets, we're charging $ 35 a ticket.
00:24:20
Speaker 8: Bar's going to be full.
00:24:22
Speaker 3: What's it cost to pay you $ 400.
00:24:23
Speaker 7: Instead of $ 200 to the guy I'm going to pay to host anyway?
00:24:27
Speaker 3: So many things they could do. Nothing. Nothing. But they wouldn't do it. So I've just learned. And now it's a business.
00:24:34
Speaker 1: Don't fool yourself into this false sense of security.
00:24:37
Speaker 3: Oh, they're my friends. Bookers aren't your friends. I'm sorry.
00:24:40
Speaker 1: They are not your friends. They're business people. They're in the business of making money and they don't make money off your friendship. Yeah.
00:24:48
Speaker 7: I was thinking like process because I was bookers aren't your friends.
00:24:52
Speaker 3: And I was like, hookers aren't either. But what? Take care of her enough. Maybe not.
00:24:59
Speaker 7: And then she's going to be in the car, which is just like, hey, man, let me hear about your day.
00:25:02
Speaker 3: You're like. Thanks, Misty.
00:25:08
Speaker 8: When you get into surgery so you can be a hundo lady.
00:25:11
Speaker 3: You know?
00:25:11
Speaker 6: Oh, wow.
00:25:14
Speaker 1: So when we go to Chipotle, Misty, you can get guac.
00:25:16
Speaker 3: Get your guac, girl. Get your guac.
00:25:19
Speaker 8: Let me see your eye, man. Hey, tell Lefty to ease up on you.
00:25:23
Speaker 5: Yeah, I had a conversation with a young comic about that.
00:25:27
Speaker 6: He was like, man, I feel bad.
00:25:28
Speaker 1: I said, hey, man.
00:25:31
Speaker 5: Don't feel bad, but bring them somebody that's equivalent to you.
00:25:37
Speaker 3: They don't do that. He didn't do that, though, I bet.
00:25:40
Speaker 1: No, he got somebody.
00:25:41
Speaker 3: Not got somebody, but somebody equivalent.
00:25:44
Speaker 7: Oh, no.
00:25:44
Speaker 6: Actually, the comedian he got was better than him.
00:25:47
Speaker 3: It was me.
00:25:49
Speaker 1: I filled in for him. I said, I'll do it for you, man. I wasn't doing nothing that night.
00:25:53
Speaker 5: But he was my dog, and I was like, yeah, I'll fill in for you. And they got me on the low because I was coming in for what they were paying them.
00:26:01
Speaker 3: Okay. You know what I'm saying?
00:26:03
Speaker 5: And also, too, I didn't want them to be like, well, we ain't bringing this comedian back because he canceled on us.
00:26:07
Speaker 1: I explained to the booker like, hey, I'm going to tell you like this.
00:26:12
Speaker 5: I get you the booker, but you have to understand, people got to make their money. So you're paying this little 125. They just got a gig for 600. You want them to stay for the 125?
00:26:25
Speaker 1: And he gave you a headliner that's worth $ 800, $ 900?
00:26:27
Speaker 5: Don't hold that grudge.
00:26:30
Speaker 2: That's a different situation, man.
00:26:32
Speaker 1: Don't hold that grudge.
00:26:33
Speaker 2: I'm just saying, for me, I've done some shows where some people bagged on me with a week left and didn't help me out. And I had to go hunting and everything else. And I'll tell you what, I wouldn't go with them again. I wouldn't use them again.
00:26:47
Speaker 3: That's just my own personal feeling. You let me down. You don't take care of me.
00:26:51
Speaker 5: And I 100% agree with you on that, Jeff. If they can't give you somebody's equivalent of them or even better, I don't even blame you, dog.
00:27:00
Speaker 3: I agree with that.
00:27:00
Speaker 1: I'm not going to blame you for going to the next gig because go get your money.
00:27:04
Speaker 3: But if you don't give me a replacement, come on, bro.
00:27:06
Speaker 1: Yeah.
00:27:06
Speaker 3: Give me high and dry. I get that, dog. I 100% agree with you.
00:27:11
Speaker 1: But hey, man.
00:27:13
Speaker 6: But yeah, Jeff, I mean, not Jeff, but James, man, you know your work, big dog.
00:27:18
Speaker 5: And hopefully the people who are hitting you up understand, like, hey, this.
00:27:23
Speaker 1: Is what I do for a living.
00:27:25
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm not saying that. They don't understand.
00:27:28
Speaker 6: They're not professionals.
00:27:30
Speaker 1: They don't do professional comedy shows, so there is some ignorance there built in that they really don't know.
00:27:35
Speaker 3: They have no idea.
00:27:36
Speaker 1: They think, oh, this guy will just come through Because we're going to offer them free tickets to this water park.
00:27:41
Speaker 5: No!
00:27:43
Speaker 3: No, man.
00:27:43
Speaker 2: I actually have people say, hey, can I borrow your studio for the weekend?
00:27:48
Speaker 3: And how much? And I'm like, what?
00:27:51
Speaker 8: They go, yeah, yeah.
00:27:52
Speaker 3: I just want to shoot some things in your... Nah. Hold on. I have rent. I have people. I have insurance. If you do something wrong in this building... You're liable for that. I got problems. And they go, why do you got to be that way? I'm going, you mean responsible? Yeah. Responsible? Responsible? Look at you.
00:28:16
Speaker 1: You're trying to make money out here. You forgot where you come from. That's funny as hell. I know Miguel goes through this too because you run a production company and people just think, oh, Miguel, let me just use it real quick.
00:28:30
Speaker 7: They tell us all the time they want to throw an event here and I'm like, all right, man, we.
00:28:33
Speaker 3: Have a forum. we have a form i send you the form.
00:28:37
Speaker 7: Like they're like hey i want to throw this car show i said cool man i'm gonna send you the event form like no let me just tell you about it no just i have a form don't tell me about it's got 25 questions that are super easy because after you answer all those questions now i can tell you okay this is this is what the budget for the base of what you're doing is i love that and and people are just like oh well oh man i didn't you know man, this is good exposure.
00:29:01
Speaker 3: And I'm like, cool, man. Yeah.
00:29:03
Speaker 7: It's like, I've been trying to pay my bills with exposure for a while and they just keep asking for money.
00:29:09
Speaker 8: I'm just going to, I'm going to go with money.
00:29:12
Speaker 3: On that note, that's how you close out a segment.
00:29:15
Speaker 1: We'll be right back with more hilarity.
00:29:17
Speaker 4: This is real last on real radio. Welcome back, everybody.
00:29:35
Speaker 3: Thank you.
00:29:36
Speaker 1: You are still listening to Real Last on Real Radio 104.1 on still your host, James John. That is still Vacay Ken. That is Jeff Coffin from Coffin & Lynn, our official sponsor. And Miguel Colon. Don't you forget the junior because he knows who his daddy is. Now, speaking of Miguel, Miguel, you got to do something pretty cool over the weekend, celebrating the Halloween season. Now, I have never heard of this before, so please break it down for the listeners out there what you got to do.
00:30:00
Speaker 3: So every Halloween, man, I go check out.
00:30:02
Speaker 7: There's, like, a lot of independent scare trails and haunts.
00:30:07
Speaker 3: And big fan of it. I love the production of it.
00:30:11
Speaker 7: I've never been to one of these scare trails that really scare me because I'm already... It's not that I get me scared, but I'm going in there knowing I'm going to be, I'm going to be, Hey, they're going to be jumping around.
00:30:20
Speaker 3: They're going to be doing this.
00:30:20
Speaker 7: So it's cool. I'm having a blast with it, but I love them. I love the production. I love, I love the value of a man. And, uh, I went to one, I went to one in Baldwin park, which is just down the road from, from where me and Jeff live.
00:30:33
Speaker 3: And I mean, pull it up here. Let me tell the people where I live.
00:30:36
Speaker 2: Let me tell the people where I live.
00:30:39
Speaker 3: Come on. Black Israel. I got five bombs to get in my house.
00:30:46
Speaker 7: They yell outside Jeff's house every time I swing by. They're like, you're going to go see that devil white man.
00:30:51
Speaker 3: I said, yeah, man, he's bringing us lunch. He's nice.
00:30:55
Speaker 7: He's got good roman he's bringing his lunch he's nice no check it out i went to night creepers haunt right night creepers it's in baldwin park uh i checked it out last weekend on saturday i did a show at alex's underground and then i went afterwards it's a it's a town home in baldwin park And there was like a line outside of it of people.
00:31:22
Speaker 3: It's free. It's crazy looking. Free and open to the public.
00:31:26
Speaker 4: I'm looking at it right now. They really go all out.
00:31:29
Speaker 7: They went all out. It's incredibly themed. It was a vibe. And I was thinking about it too, man, because me and my boy Chris, we're driving around. We're following this GPS. We're cruising around this neighborhood. And it's taking us... We're down some quiet-ass streets and stuff. And we're just randomly going to go to a house... that we heard about that's a haunted house and just randomly walk into a stranger's.
00:31:55
Speaker 8: Home and walk through it. And I was like, it's dope being a dude.
00:32:00
Speaker 3: Like rules. I'm like, Hey, you want to go to a random stranger's house and walk around and get scared? He's like, sounds fun. And girls are cool, man.
00:32:10
Speaker 8: Three of us got to walk to the bathroom so we don't get murdered.
00:32:13
Speaker 3: You get free drinks.
00:32:20
Speaker 7: You know, it was cool, man. It was, it was super themed. Uh, just a blast. So my, my question to you guys is, uh, do you remember like when they were neighborhood haunted houses?
00:32:36
Speaker 1: Yes.
00:32:36
Speaker 3: You remember that when somebody would do it?
00:32:38
Speaker 7: And now I'll tell you this, I've been to a lot of neighborhood haunted houses in my day. This, this one I went to was, was super dope. It was like very well themed. Like there's an elevator in it where it's a room you go in and they have, they have a great on top of it. And, and a, and a TV monitor and the TV monitors playing floors rising.
00:32:56
Speaker 8: And they're like shaking it.
00:32:57
Speaker 3: Like you're in an elevator.
00:32:59
Speaker 8: And I'm like, man, white people are cruel.
00:33:01
Speaker 1: They are not murdering or subjecting us to slavery.
00:33:05
Speaker 3: They're pretty cool people. Hey, man, you got a little overrated. OK, James.
00:33:13
Speaker 8: Oh, you guys incorrigible, incorrigible.
00:33:17
Speaker 7: But you remember that you remember neighborhood haunted houses?
00:33:22
Speaker 1: Well, there was a famous one in Kissimmee, believe it or not, throughout my whole like childhood. elementary, middle school, even in the beginning of high school, there's this place called JC's haunted house. And it was this old house that was in this field in Kissimmee. Every year they would take all three stories and make this incredible haunted house. It was like $ 5 to get in. Thousands of people would come through that thing, man. But then They finally had to tear the house down because they had like termites or like, you know, dead people in it.
00:33:51
Speaker 3: But anyway, it was fun.
00:33:53
Speaker 7: You're like, mom, look at this room. It's ladies in their bras bagging up coke. Hey, sorry, let me close that door.
00:33:58
Speaker 1: That's how J.C.
00:34:00
Speaker 3: Keeps the house going.
00:34:03
Speaker 5: Hey, James, you're on the third floor and you just fall through. You're like, man, that trap door is so real.
00:34:10
Speaker 3: You signed the waiver. You signed the waiver.
00:34:12
Speaker 1: Put some salt on started it'll be fine.
00:34:17
Speaker 7: If i can't remember in your hands you go through the house.
00:34:20
Speaker 3: You gotta add that after kicking.
00:34:22
Speaker 5: The ass fell through the floor hey fell through the floor and you walking through it you get hit like yo this is so real man this is crazy.
00:34:34
Speaker 1: Somebody actually really died.
00:34:36
Speaker 5: They got real damn bodies.
00:34:39
Speaker 1: This is for $ 5.
00:34:40
Speaker 3: This is crazy.
00:34:43
Speaker 1: Kissimmee was a wild place back in the day.
00:34:49
Speaker 5: I got to say, man, because I grew up in the projects and I didn't grow up around any houses. Once I got older, I didn't take my kids trick-or-treating. I had never seen somebody's house as a haunted house.
00:35:01
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's a wild experience, man. They get into... And you always... You know, like.
00:35:06
Speaker 8: You always.
00:35:07
Speaker 3: Wonder about these people because you're like.
00:35:09
Speaker 7: You're letting a thousand strangers just walk through your house.
00:35:13
Speaker 3: Like... The confidence. The confidence. Because I... I remember when I was a kid, man.
00:35:21
Speaker 7: Like... We would go to these houses, and I guess the confidence in us as a kid, because we'd just be like, hey, there's this random house having a haunted house.
00:35:30
Speaker 3: You want to go?
00:35:30
Speaker 7: And we'd walk through somebody's house. When we were kids, man, in the back of my mind, we were like, they're going to try to molest us, but.
00:35:41
Speaker 3: Wait, wait. There's a haunted house, too.
00:35:44
Speaker 8: 50-50 here.
00:35:44
Speaker 3: Hey, but I heard at the end they're giving out action. Don't fall through the floor. Yeah. Because you land in that basement. JC's got you. But other than that, man.
00:35:54
Speaker 1: Dog, let me tell you something. Howie ain't dead, bro.
00:35:58
Speaker 3: We will walk.
00:35:59
Speaker 5: Let me tell you about Greensboro.
00:36:01
Speaker 1: Let me tell you about Greensboro, dog.
00:36:03
Speaker 5: Me and my partners will walk, leave our housing projects and we'll walk to these white, rich neighborhoods all the way across town and the crew and just sugar treat.
00:36:15
Speaker 1: How we ain't kidnap... I ain't on.
00:36:18
Speaker 3: A milk box somewhere.
00:36:20
Speaker 5: There's no way your mama still let a nine-year-old walk across Greensboro.
00:36:25
Speaker 7: That's why we have very special episodes of TV. Because they were like, in the middle of Punky Brewster, they were like, hey, just... Wash your butthole. All right, Gloamer, come on, let's go.
00:36:38
Speaker 5: Hey, what was the episode of G.I. Joe at the end when the dude called the house?
00:36:43
Speaker 3: Yeah.
00:36:44
Speaker 1: And he was like, hey, is your dad home?
00:36:45
Speaker 3: He's like, no.
00:36:46
Speaker 5: And then he show up and Shipwreck is like, hey, man, don't be telling people you home by yourself.
00:36:52
Speaker 7: Shipwreck was kind of like, hey, that dude's cruising.
00:36:56
Speaker 5: I know.
00:36:57
Speaker 8: Look what I wear.
00:36:59
Speaker 3: You know? Yeah. Hey, no puppies? Don't get in the van. There you go.
00:37:05
Speaker 8: It's coming out your mama's room, smoking a Newport.
00:37:07
Speaker 3: Hey, we're in the store. Go get your mama some Kotex.
00:37:11
Speaker 8: Use this chain to get you some candy.
00:37:12
Speaker 3: You earned it. She's sleepy. Oh, my God.
00:37:23
Speaker 5: What's up with all this jello pudding here, mom?
00:37:28
Speaker 1: Don't worry about it.
00:37:29
Speaker 3: Don't worry about it.
00:37:30
Speaker 1: Your mom will tie you.
00:37:32
Speaker 3: Don't worry about it. Your mom will tie you. Why does this guy call me Theo?
00:37:38
Speaker 1: Bro, the crazy part was when we were smaller, though, we were younger in the 80s, I will say this, there was affordable entertainment for kids.
00:37:45
Speaker 4: There was cheap things you could.
00:37:47
Speaker 8: Actually go to.
00:37:50
Speaker 1: I would tell you, I challenge y'all nowadays to find anywhere you can take your kids for cheap entertainment.
00:37:56
Speaker 3: It don't even exist.
00:37:58
Speaker 1: The Dollar Theater is gone, bro.
00:38:01
Speaker 3: It's gone. I was going to say, it's done.
00:38:04
Speaker 7: And my dad would literally, Pops would literally pick me up And it would be like his weekend to hang out with me. And he would be like, you want to go to the dollar theater with your buddies? And he would go and he would be like, grab a couple of your buddies.
00:38:16
Speaker 3: Here's a dollar.
00:38:17
Speaker 5: You know, this is the one on base.
00:38:19
Speaker 1: Oh, no, this is just out there.
00:38:21
Speaker 3: But the base one to the base one to grab my friends and we would all go in a car.
00:38:26
Speaker 7: And, you know, and at the dollar theater, the good thing about the dollar theater was the dollar theater.
00:38:31
Speaker 3: Everything was cheap. So it was two dollars. Everything was cheap. And it was affordable for.
00:38:36
Speaker 7: A grown man to take his son and a couple of his friends out. Like my whole childhood, no matter how struggling people were, there.
00:38:46
Speaker 8: Was something affordable to do. For you and your family.
00:38:51
Speaker 3: And I will say this.
00:38:52
Speaker 7: I will give a shout out to my man, Jeff Kaufman, because when you used to do those theaters and we would do the movie nights, there would be families, six, seven people in the family all together going to watch the new Spider-Man a day before.
00:39:08
Speaker 3: The rest of the world got to see it.
00:39:10
Speaker 7: And man, you made dads and moms feel like champs.
00:39:15
Speaker 3: Yep. I bump into these people and I feel bad that theater closed. Because all the other theaters, nobody wants to go. I try to pay for people to go down to International, Cinemark. They're not going all the way down there. They want to be somewhere close and easy. and this was it. Fashion Square Mall was great.
00:39:34
Speaker 7: I would literally bring my own bag of cold air, though, because they never had the AC on.
00:39:38
Speaker 3: We had seven theaters. That was the last movie we saw. Seven theaters. I saw Bullet Train there.
00:39:45
Speaker 2: I saw.
00:39:48
Speaker 3: Aquaman 2.
00:39:50
Speaker 7: I saw a movie that I would have never gone to see that I ended up telling people it was a great movie.
00:39:54
Speaker 3: I saw The Fall Guy and I did not want to go see The Fall Guy. And that movie was great.
00:39:59
Speaker 1: No, I want to watch it. My wife would not watch it with me. So I'm just going.
00:40:04
Speaker 3: To watch it by myself. It's a good movie.
00:40:08
Speaker 1: Nah, she wasn't interested in it.
00:40:10
Speaker 3: Hey, Gosling the man, dog. Gosling's the man. I was going to say the same thing.
00:40:14
Speaker 1: I became a Ryan Gosling fan after seeing him And a couple things. Even his Netflix movie he was in called The Gray Man with Chris.
00:40:21
Speaker 3: Yeah.
00:40:22
Speaker 4: That was a good movie, man.
00:40:25
Speaker 3: Project Hail Mary.
00:40:26
Speaker 6: Yes.
00:40:27
Speaker 1: Project Hail Mary.
00:40:29
Speaker 3: Gosling. Him and a spider just made me cry for two hours.
00:40:34
Speaker 1: I cried like a baby watching that.
00:40:37
Speaker 3: Got in love with that dude. I get why women like him. I like him on Saturday Night Live, too. I like when he shows up there.
00:40:42
Speaker 1: Yes. I like him in a notebook.
00:40:45
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah. You know, man, I like being standing up, Ken. You can't even look at us. Get off the screen. Just get off the screen. Keep your head down there.
00:40:56
Speaker 5: The notebook is my movie, bro. I want to see the notebook to play. And they had a black girl playing the white girl in.
00:41:03
Speaker 3: The place, bud.
00:41:04
Speaker 1: That's what I'm talking about, B.
00:41:06
Speaker 5: Because fictional characters can be different colors.
00:41:09
Speaker 8: Yeah. I want to see Taylor Perry's notebook, and it's.
00:41:12
Speaker 7: A composition notebook just with hip-hop verses in it.
00:41:15
Speaker 3: JT's lyrics? Yeah. Reasonable Doubt album? Yeah.
00:41:22
Speaker 1: I will say, I'm looking forward to seeing Ryan Gosling play Ghost Rider, because I'm a comic book geek.
00:41:27
Speaker 3: Is it Johnny Blaze, Ghost Rider? Yeah, that's what's up, man.
00:41:31
Speaker 4: Yeah, so I can't wait for that.
00:41:33
Speaker 3: I'm taking the crew to Clayface tomorrow night.
00:41:36
Speaker 5: I heard it was Clayface. That Clayface creeping me out. He's doing this with the scissors.
00:41:42
Speaker 1: I don't understand Clayface.
00:41:47
Speaker 7: The DC not connected Batman movies. They're not bad. Joker was cool. I just don't understand. I watched some of the second one and I was like, did I eat anadryl and edibles at the same time?
00:42:04
Speaker 5: Facts! Edibles is wild, son.
00:42:10
Speaker 7: I watched the second one and I was like, wait a second. Remember, did you lick a frog at any time?
00:42:17
Speaker 3: What is happening here? Yeah, again. I took a bathroom break. I took an extended bathroom break. That's how bad it is. You know, normally when you go to the movie, you go, everything's got to be real quick and get back in there.
00:42:28
Speaker 2: I took my time, and I think I did a lap around the concession stand.
00:42:32
Speaker 3: I did anything not to go back. I went to another movie and came back.
00:42:37
Speaker 5: Hey, I went to play Spades and threw out the big joker before I came back.
00:42:42
Speaker 3: I apologized to people at the door.
00:42:44
Speaker 2: 700 people I had to apologize to.
00:42:47
Speaker 1: I remember when he did that, he said, I'm sorry.
00:42:50
Speaker 3: I'm sorry for your loss. I went upstairs and saw the projectionist. I said, you watching this garbage? He said, hey, man. The fall guy on the phone.
00:42:58
Speaker 1: Oh, man. Okay, before we go, we got limited time. You guys have been absolutely great this episode of Real Lives. That's why I love this. Where are you guys going to be so they can go ahead and definitely come out and support you? Jeff, what do you got going on this weekend, sir?
00:43:16
Speaker 2: Well, Saturday on Under Oath, I have Henry Winkler on the show.
00:43:19
Speaker 3: The Fonz. The Fonz, man. I am so happy about that. You know, it's so weird.
00:43:25
Speaker 2: I had Shatner two days ago, and they did that show in Europe where they traveled around together.
00:43:29
Speaker 1: Yep.
00:43:30
Speaker 3: It's so weird to have these guys four days apart.
00:43:33
Speaker 1: That's dope, brother. That's dope. Congratulations on that, my friend. Miguel, what you got going on this weekend? You home or you on the road?
00:43:40
Speaker 3: I am home this weekend.
00:43:42
Speaker 7: We've got our members Halloween party this weekend at the Sausage Castle. But November 6th through 7th, I'm at the Milwaukee Improv. And November 8th, I'm at the Comedy Cabin in Janesville, Wisconsin. Then November 15th, I'm at the D.C. Comedy Loft. December 3rd through 5th, I'm at Helium in Portland. December 17th, The Comedy Catch in Chattanooga, Tennessee. December 20th, Mike Drops San Diego. December 26th through 27th, Tacoma, Washington.
00:44:10
Speaker 3: Oh, come on. Clap your up, bro. You are out there on the road. You paying spirits, Bill. That Frontier Go Wild Pass, man. That's how you doing it.
00:44:22
Speaker 7: Frontier Go Wild Pass is crazy because the flights will be like $ 11, but when you get on the plane, they hand you a pistol and they're like, we're going to roll by the house one time.
00:44:30
Speaker 3: Buckle on it. Hey!
00:44:35
Speaker 1: The windows on Frontier got a, you can wind it down like this, kid.
00:44:39
Speaker 7: Yeah. He looks at me, he goes, hey, we only try to shoot Scooter. If his people buck, let him. If they turn around, hit him up.
00:44:46
Speaker 3: All right. All right. God bless, man.
00:44:49
Speaker 8: Do a little bump. Do a little bump.
00:44:50
Speaker 3: Get right, kid. Get right. But you're the pilot. I know. Here we go. Calm down.
00:44:54
Speaker 1: Calm down.
00:44:59
Speaker 5: Hey, man, it's Halloween weekend, bro. So I'm going to be chilling, man, with my wife. We're going to go see a play or something. Because you know me, I do not do comedy Halloween weekend because them shows are terrible.
00:45:10
Speaker 1: So I'm going to be chilling.
00:45:12
Speaker 5: But next week, November 5th through the 8th, we will be at Off the Hook Comedy Club, me, Mike Curley, and OMG, it's Wix, OMG, Wix, and friends. So make sure y'all check us out, man. Naples, Florida. If you're in the area, come see the kids.
00:45:26
Speaker 1: Beautiful, beautiful. I just want to say real quick before I forget. We know you know how we we do these shows. We record them early and we record on Monday for this show on Wednesday. It's my sister, Gwen, my older sister's birthday. I love you so much. And I got to show this Thursday, guys. You can catch me in Cocoa Beach. I'm going to be at the boardroom.
00:45:46
Speaker 3: That's right.
00:45:46
Speaker 1: Shout out to Mr. Mark for putting this together. Let me be on this show, man. I can't wait to do it. Mike Macy, a name from the past.
00:45:54
Speaker 3: Well, man, yeah, brother.
00:45:56
Speaker 1: You know, he lives out there, so I can't wait to do it. If you guys want to get some tickets for that, just check me. My social media out. You guys can get some tickets and definitely come to.
00:46:04
Speaker 3: Let's hang out. Hold up. Joe on Sunday.
00:46:08
Speaker 4: Oh, dang!
00:46:09
Speaker 3: I forgot!
00:46:10
Speaker 4: Thank you.
00:46:13
Speaker 3: Dang, thank you.
00:46:14
Speaker 1: Our first Funny Bone, Orlando Funny Bone that is, our first show is Theme Park Comedians are this Sunday coming up on November 1st.
00:46:22
Speaker 3: Thank you, Miguel. I appreciate you, man. Nah, it's gonna be whack. But still, go support my friends because they're sick.
00:46:30
Speaker 7: They're so much better than everybody because they're famous and everybody loves them.
00:46:33
Speaker 3: And also, man, I'll get sick and tired of my mom and.
00:46:36
Speaker 7: Sisters being like, oh, did you see Devin and James and the theme park comedians?
00:46:41
Speaker 3: I said, no, I didn't see them there. But you know where I saw them? Cruising the trail. Both of them. Pre-ops. Pre-ops. So I'll see all of you this Sunday. See my friends. They're really funny. Let me do my ticker impression when I get on stage.
00:47:02
Speaker 1: Come on.
00:47:02
Speaker 3: There you go. There you go. On behalf of myself, Mr. James, John, that is Ken Miller over there. That's Miguel Cologne.
00:47:09
Speaker 1: Don't you forget the junior knows who his daddy is. Jeff's coughing from our official sponsors, coughing and laying your personal injury attorney.
00:47:15
Speaker 3: Thank y'all for listening. We will see y'all tomorrow. Ken, tell him what to do.
00:47:19
Speaker 1: Take your ass to bed.
00:47:22
Speaker 3: We out.
Speaker 1: What's up everybody and welcome that's right you just tuned in to real laughs on real radio 104.1 i am your host and i feel good today people i'm your host mr james yon and i feel good you know how you can tell i feel good i got my tank top on now if you listen on the radio you can see it bro the sun ain't even out but my guns it.
00:00:25
Speaker 2: Is the red one too not the white not the wife beater but i'm talking like the red.
00:00:29
Speaker 1: One it's red son i just got some brand new wife beaters now i'm gonna Now, I'm going to say something real quick. As a grown-ass man, I'm going to tell you, ain't nothing like getting a brand new pack of white beaters to make you feel all right. Bruh, I love my single white beater.
00:00:42
Speaker 3: Clean. You feel all right, man. I'm going to wear these out. Not stretched out. It's not like one side's longer than the other.
00:00:50
Speaker 1: We got a very great show for you guys today, and I got some great guys with me, man. I love these guys to death. They're my comedy brothers. First, I'm going to start with the godfather of Orlando comedy. You know him as Ken Miller, but today he is Vacay Ken.
00:01:03
Speaker 3: Come on.
00:01:03
Speaker 4: I like that, bro. We're about to go on vacation, brother.
00:01:07
Speaker 5: Yeah. I just got back. I had a blast. I had, and I was telling Sean, I can't tell you when we, the last time we took, I got a vacation, vacation, not like a day.
00:01:16
Speaker 3: Not working the club.
00:01:17
Speaker 6: You know what I mean? So we had a really good time.
00:01:21
Speaker 1: We went to Bimini.
00:01:23
Speaker 5: Um, we'll talk about later in the show, but yeah, man, we had, we had a good time, but I will say this in 2026, I'm gonna need you to stop saying wife be the homie.
00:01:33
Speaker 3: Can't say that.
00:01:34
Speaker 1: Come on B. You can't say it no more, B. Tank top. Tank top.
00:01:39
Speaker 6: No, they call it choker bitch now.
00:01:42
Speaker 5: Look, so what we got... I didn't know we could say that.
00:01:53
Speaker 3: I don't know if we can. I don't know if we can. I got to check with somebody. I got to call management on that one.
00:02:02
Speaker 5: Hey, we call them kick her ass down the steps, B. That's what the new shirt is called, bro. Called a Wayne Brady? Called a Wayne Brady.
00:02:14
Speaker 3: Oh, see, that's funny, man. Ken is fresh off vacation.
00:02:18
Speaker 1: That brother went somewhere traveling with the Bimini Boppity Boo. And now he's back with us. Good to have you, bro. Good to have you back.
00:02:25
Speaker 6: Yeah, we'll chat about it later, man.
00:02:28
Speaker 1: I'm sure we will, man. Can't wait to hear about it. We also got Mr. Jeff Kaufman, our official sponsor from Kaufman and Lynn, rocking Orlando magic, if you will. Not only is he a great attorney, my man makes comic books and he is a comedian.
00:02:41
Speaker 3: And if you guys.
00:02:42
Speaker 1: Ever need anything as far as personal injury and law. Call Kaufman and Lynn. Go to whenyouneedus.com. They've been waiting to represent the good people of Orlando for almost 30 years.
00:02:53
Speaker 3: And they got a great number for you. 30 years. 30 years, baby. Come on, man.
00:02:58
Speaker 5: 30 years.
00:02:58
Speaker 3: Yo. 30 años.
00:03:01
Speaker 1: Give him a call. Give him a call.
00:03:03
Speaker 6: 407-500-JEFF. 407-500-JEFF.
00:03:07
Speaker 5: Slip or fall, car accident, kicking their ass. If your team loses to Tampa Bay by 35 points, you should be able to call Jeff and sue.
00:03:17
Speaker 1: The Panthers, bro.
00:03:18
Speaker 3: Yes, bro.
00:03:19
Speaker 1: If your feelings were hurt because Jay-Z got announced as the official performer of halftime.
00:03:25
Speaker 5: Hey, first of all, hey, Tampa, I was in Tampa Saturday. Shout out to Tony Roberts, man. I got to work that show. Hey, Tampa, I just want to say I apologize. I walked around that city with a cigar in my hand talking mad junk about Carolina was going to beat the Bucs. I was talking junk to everybody. That Wilford Reserve had me on one. I was talking to everybody. Everybody, everybody, everybody. I was, hey, mad junk.
00:03:54
Speaker 1: Hey, dog.
00:03:54
Speaker 5: And when I woke up after they lost, man, dog, the amount of text messages.
00:04:00
Speaker 1: And emails and Instagram. Carolina got beat so bad.
00:04:06
Speaker 5: They changed the game to a game from 2019. They didn't go to a recent game.
00:04:15
Speaker 1: Cam Newton was in the game. They went to a Cam Newton game. Hey, I heard they was losing so bad. They asked Cam to come on the field and play now. Bring your hat on the field, bro. It was a debacle, bro.
00:04:31
Speaker 3: Was it a slobber knocker?
00:04:33
Speaker 1: That's what I'm about to say. He said slobber knocker.
00:04:38
Speaker 3: He was bad, man. Hey, man. What's the record right now for Carolina, though?
00:04:44
Speaker 1: They're number one in the division.
00:04:46
Speaker 5: They're number one in the division, but that division's terrible. Hold on.
00:04:51
Speaker 3: You gotta love this.
00:04:52
Speaker 2: Tampa basically tanked their first four games, and they're still in the playoff hunt by one game.
00:04:59
Speaker 3: That's how bad that division is.
00:05:00
Speaker 6: That's how bad that division is, bro.
00:05:02
Speaker 1: Good God, man.
00:05:04
Speaker 5: Tampa won. Atlanta beat the Falcons. I mean, Atlanta beat the 49ers, who No, 49ers who were undefeated. So right now they're pretty much all tied.
00:05:19
Speaker 1: It's a terrible division. As you know, I'm not a sports guy. I look to you and Jeff to get all my sports knowledge. So in the NFL, who is the team to beat this year so far? It was Kansas City.
00:05:29
Speaker 5: Minnesota's undefeated. Yeah, they lost last night. Minnesota's undefeated and somebody else is undefeated.
00:05:37
Speaker 2: I still think the Bills are going to be a hard team to beat.
00:05:42
Speaker 3: They'll be there at the end.
00:05:43
Speaker 5: Yeah, but then they get in the playoffs and stink it up.
00:05:47
Speaker 1: Last year was their year.
00:05:49
Speaker 5: Last year was their year because, one, Patrick Mahomes was out, who was knocking them out the playoffs. Baltimore wasn't that good. So it was their year last year, and they choked it. Bro, you know what's crazy?
00:06:08
Speaker 3: Painful.
00:06:09
Speaker 1: You know what's crazy? The Browns are number one in their division.
00:06:14
Speaker 3: Really?
00:06:15
Speaker 2: Who's quarterbacking for that team now?
00:06:19
Speaker 1: Oh, S.A.
00:06:20
Speaker 3: Watson.
00:06:22
Speaker 7: S.A.
00:06:22
Speaker 3: Woo.
00:06:23
Speaker 7: Yeah.
00:06:24
Speaker 1: Sexual Assault Watson is the QB.
00:06:26
Speaker 3: Damn.
00:06:26
Speaker 1: Damn.
00:06:27
Speaker 3: Damn. No, he settled everything. Come on. He settled it all.
00:06:33
Speaker 1: Yeah. But they had no choice, dude.
00:06:36
Speaker 3: He's like Michael Jackson. He wrote the check. I've learned this from you, Jeff.
00:06:40
Speaker 4: Just because you don't get convicted don't mean you didn't do it.
00:06:42
Speaker 3: Hey, listen. You wrote the check. He paid the girls mortgages for the next 20 years. He did the job.
00:06:52
Speaker 5: Yeah, because he got a stupid contract. It was like 10 years, $ 250 million. His contract was like crazy, bro. Crazy contract.
00:07:02
Speaker 1: But I'm sorry.
00:07:03
Speaker 6: I don't care.
00:07:04
Speaker 5: Jeff, you my lawyer, you know that. I will fight to the end. I ain't writing no checks.
00:07:10
Speaker 3: For real? You didn't do it?
00:07:13
Speaker 2: I don't want it because you ain't got money to write the checks.
00:07:17
Speaker 5: I ain't got i know i'm saying if i had the money i'm not fighting i'm not fighting you're not about to get my money then i look guilty because i don't pay you now.
00:07:26
Speaker 2: Says the head of the hoa he sent more bills out to people over grass and people write that check every time.
00:07:32
Speaker 1: Hey but the difference is those people did it yeah they did it i didn't do.
00:07:36
Speaker 6: It if i didn't do it i'm fighting now what do.
00:07:39
Speaker 1: You think he didn't do We're saying for us, us in that situation.
00:07:46
Speaker 2: He paid the extra for the end and 19 women took the money and then afterwards came after him and said, hey, listen, he shouldn't have asked us to do this.
00:07:57
Speaker 3: And that's how it played out.
00:07:59
Speaker 1: If 19 people. There was a big number.
00:08:02
Speaker 3: Look it up.
00:08:03
Speaker 5: If 21 people point at you and say he did it, he might have did it.
00:08:08
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's true. That's true.
00:08:11
Speaker 5: At one, I'm like, I don't know, man.
00:08:17
Speaker 1: At two, I'm like, that's crazy.
00:08:19
Speaker 3: You ain't hear what he said.
00:08:20
Speaker 5: He said 19 took the money.
00:08:25
Speaker 3: Took the money. Everybody got paid. The Browns paid a lot of people. Somebody said, that wasn't right. Hey, listen, listen.
00:08:34
Speaker 2: Remember, you forget the Michael Jackson thing. Michael paid over $ 20 million.
00:08:40
Speaker 3: For the first kid. He wrote that check. No, you know that.
00:08:45
Speaker 2: That's what Chris Rock, remember Chris Rock's joke, we let the first kid slide? The first kid got almost the same amount of money as Michael paid for the Beatles catalog.
00:08:54
Speaker 3: Damn. You know what? Best money he ever spent because the party was over then. Sometimes you pay to get out of the trouble.
00:09:02
Speaker 6: Michael, that was the dumbest thing you could have done.
00:09:04
Speaker 1: You gave that.
00:09:08
Speaker 6: Kid $ 20 million.
00:09:10
Speaker 1: Now the world thinks you're a child molester.
00:09:11
Speaker 3: No. It bought him 10 more years of his career, man.
00:09:14
Speaker 1: Come on.
00:09:15
Speaker 5: I would have fought. But yeah, but 10 years of people still... Thinking he molested a kid.
00:09:20
Speaker 3: They got video games with him on now.
00:09:22
Speaker 5: The fact that you think paying somebody off and now you're good, it's crazy to think that way, Jeff.
00:09:29
Speaker 3: It's crazy. It's the way we work.
00:09:34
Speaker 1: That's crazy.
00:09:35
Speaker 3: Hold on. You forget Kobe Bryant did the same thing. He took care of the girl in Denver, wrote her a check.
00:09:41
Speaker 4: Then he got his career back.
00:09:44
Speaker 7: Guys, to be honest, in my opinion, In my opinion, too, though, think about, like, for other child molesters, he just raised the price ridiculously out of their range.
00:09:53
Speaker 3: Good God. Good God, dude. Man. Right here. He's at the bar.
00:10:00
Speaker 8: Yeah, they're like $ 20 million.
00:10:02
Speaker 3: Michael, it used to be.
00:10:03
Speaker 7: Like $ 700, and we gave them some free ice cream.
00:10:06
Speaker 3: The salary cap went up. Yeah, you out here.
00:10:09
Speaker 7: You out here just inflating the prices, man.
00:10:14
Speaker 3: Hey, hey, hey, hey, man. That's how you come on the show, though.
00:10:17
Speaker 1: Yeah.
00:10:18
Speaker 3: Yeah.
00:10:19
Speaker 1: I didn't even know half of what we were talking about.
00:10:22
Speaker 3: I said, I want to participate. God bless.
00:10:32
Speaker 1: All I'm saying is this, Miguel.
00:10:34
Speaker 5: I'm saying if I'm accused of something and I know I didn't do it, I'm not paying the five to paying them off.
00:10:43
Speaker 3: Legally, it's called a best interest plea. That's what it is. Sometimes you do things.
00:10:50
Speaker 1: I have to convince people all the time because what happens is you're not going to roll the.
00:10:56
Speaker 3: You know who should have wrote the check? Cosby. Cosby should have wrote the damn check.
00:11:01
Speaker 2: Cosby wound up in prison and only got lucky to get out on a technicality.
00:11:06
Speaker 4: People knew Cosby raped people.
00:11:08
Speaker 2: If he would have wrote the check, he wouldn't have had to.
00:11:13
Speaker 3: Deal with it.
00:11:14
Speaker 1: But he would have been known as a rapist.
00:11:17
Speaker 5: You think writing a check just makes people erase the memory?
00:11:20
Speaker 2: No, I'm telling you, it buys you your freedom.
00:11:23
Speaker 3: I think I know, but honestly, I think I know what Jeff's saying.
00:11:25
Speaker 7: He's saying he's never going to be able to convince the people who believe he did it. And at that point, I guess Jeff's just saying as a lawyer, he's going to look at it and be like, I'm sorry to tell you this. Anybody who wants to believe you did it already believes you did it. I can only take away the fact that we won't be tied up in court forever. They won't be asking any more embarrassing questions, digging through your life, your financials.
00:11:50
Speaker 3: You might not lose more.
00:11:53
Speaker 2: Yeah. Remember the poker stars? Remember they had those online poker places where you used to play all the time?
00:11:59
Speaker 3: There were three guys that lived in Antigua.
00:12:03
Speaker 2: And one of them goes, you know what? I don't think I did anything wrong. I'm going to fight the charges. And he went back to the U.S. and he got prisoned.
00:12:10
Speaker 3: And the two guys who.
00:12:11
Speaker 2: Didn't go back, they're on their golf course in Antigua going, he's stupid.
00:12:15
Speaker 3: He should have stayed right here. But, you know, sometimes the difference is.
00:12:20
Speaker 1: Again, you're talking about people who did it. That guy did it.
00:12:25
Speaker 3: Well, he didn't think he did it. He didn't think he did anything wrong.
00:12:29
Speaker 1: If I didn't do it, I want to fight. And here's why I say that. Because there's a stigma to being a PDF.
00:12:38
Speaker 4: Like, that you can't shake, man. I get that, Ken.
00:12:42
Speaker 3: Like, I don't want.
00:12:43
Speaker 1: People to think about me.
00:12:44
Speaker 3: Yeah.
00:12:45
Speaker 5: And if I lose, if I lose, then I just kill everybody.
00:12:50
Speaker 1: It's simple, bro. I'm going to.
00:12:56
Speaker 3: Walk in the courtroom.
00:12:57
Speaker 7: I'm going to show the judge my thing real quick and then throw.
00:13:01
Speaker 3: The kid a pencil and say, draw it right now, what it look like.
00:13:06
Speaker 7: You saw it, y'all. He didn't even bring up the other one. So he needs to get two.
00:13:14
Speaker 8: They cross paths like a snake at the hospital.
00:13:17
Speaker 3: Oh, my God.
00:13:22
Speaker 4: This is how we go out.
00:13:24
Speaker 3: I like it.
00:13:25
Speaker 1: I like it a lot, man.
00:13:26
Speaker 3: God bless, man.
00:13:27
Speaker 5: I'll tell you this, man.
00:13:32
Speaker 3: The law is a funny thing.
00:13:34
Speaker 1: Now, we got about 30 seconds left, and I just want to take this 30 seconds real quick to give a shout out to friends and family of comedian Goldie, who lost his battle with cancer, my friend, and passed away. We just want to give our thoughts and prayers to his loved ones out there, man. I hated to hear the news. He had been battling this for a while, but it finally got to.
00:13:57
Speaker 3: A place where he couldn't travel, he couldn't really move.
00:14:01
Speaker 1: And he knew that he didn't have long, but he stayed in great spirits. He still just was Goldie that we knew.
00:14:09
Speaker 3: Goldie was a real one, man.
00:14:10
Speaker 1: Yes, he was.
00:14:11
Speaker 3: I did a couple shows.
00:14:12
Speaker 7: I did some shows with Goldie a couple times.
00:14:15
Speaker 3: He was a real one.
00:14:16
Speaker 1: He was, man.
00:14:17
Speaker 3: Love him.
00:14:17
Speaker 1: Good dude, man.
00:14:18
Speaker 3: God bless.
00:14:19
Speaker 1: Just want to say our thoughts and prayers go out to his loved ones.
00:14:21
Speaker 3: Thank you guys. Don't go anywhere.
00:14:23
Speaker 1: We'll be right back. This is Real Laughs on Real Radio. Welcome back, everybody. You are still listening to Real Lives on Real Radio 104.1. It's me, your host, James John, with Ken, a.k.a. the Godfather of Orlando Comedy, and a.k.a. Vacay Ken. He just got back. Jeff, the Batman Coffin from Coffin and Lynn, your official personal injury attorneys here in Orlando, representing and winning for the good of people for almost 30 years. And we got my brother in the house.
00:15:02
Speaker 3: That's right.
00:15:03
Speaker 1: Miguel Colon been on the road touring. Hi, hi, hi.
00:15:08
Speaker 3: That's right.
00:15:08
Speaker 1: Back.
00:15:09
Speaker 3: Colon Jr. in the house.
00:15:10
Speaker 1: Uh, Real quick, man, I just want to say a shout out to all the people out there who follow me on social media, because thanks to you guys, I just hit a little milestone, man. I'm up to 12,000 followers, which ain't.
00:15:21
Speaker 3: A lot to a lot of you. It's a victory for me. I'll take it. A lot of white women in their 40s know who you are. Amen.
00:15:30
Speaker 1: A lot.
00:15:30
Speaker 3: I see all those Disney ladies on the feed. That's what it is.
00:15:34
Speaker 1: That's what it is. Now, here's the thing that I've noticed, man, in my short little time in this new space, I find myself in on social media. People will hit you up trying to get you to do stuff. Now, Miguel, I know you must go through this with Mike when you guys work at the castle. People want to hit him up because he has a certain amount of notoriety. Here's the thing I'm learning. People don't want to actually pay you, though. What they tell me is, hey. Love your stuff. Love your content. We're a water park.
00:16:00
Speaker 4: We'd love to have you and Devin come out and do some stuff with us.
00:16:03
Speaker 3: I'm like, all right, cool, cool. So you want to show?
00:16:05
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah.
00:16:05
Speaker 3: We'd love a show. OK, what's the pay?
00:16:08
Speaker 4: Oh, you want to get paid to do?
00:16:10
Speaker 3: Yeah.
00:16:12
Speaker 4: Or somebody will hit me up. I got an idea, man. We could do this trivia at this big.
00:16:17
Speaker 1: Uh convention at megacon we're doing disney trivia we'll have you guys come out and do the whole trivia thing you and devin can be on separate teams it'll be like two hours i'm like cool cool that sounds awesome man right up our alley how much we get paid oh you want to get paid bro do you find.
00:16:35
Speaker 4: That that happens a lot when you.
00:16:36
Speaker 7: Yeah man and then and here's i'm gonna teach you the question here listeners too don't ask how much you get paid Say, let me see your budget. Let me see what I can put together for you.
00:16:49
Speaker 3: Got it.
00:16:50
Speaker 7: Because sometimes they'll tell you the budget's X, and you tell them something like, oh, I kind.
00:16:55
Speaker 5: Of want it more.
00:16:56
Speaker 3: Cool.
00:16:57
Speaker 8: We can do more. You just can put more budget on it.
00:17:01
Speaker 7: But yeah, man, people always try to offer stuff, man, free stuff that's not worth it.
00:17:06
Speaker 3: Because sometimes free stuff's worth it. Sometimes they're like, yeah, I got this. This is cool.
00:17:11
Speaker 8: Hey, well, that's cool. I want to do that. So that's cool.
00:17:15
Speaker 7: But then other times they're like, yeah, just come out.
00:17:17
Speaker 3: And it's like, nah, I.
00:17:18
Speaker 1: Don't care about this thing. No, we're not divas. We're not saying we're above things, but our time is worth something. Everybody's time is. And you see it on your level.
00:17:29
Speaker 2: I've had to deal with some high-end celebrities who they try to do that with. where the cost is around $ 100, 000, $ 200, 000, $ 500, 000. Jeff Carpenter said, you're a.
00:17:37
Speaker 3: Dick as good as Jerry. Say nothing. I didn't say that. I'm just kidding. I'm not saying I represent the music people.
00:17:46
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's what you said, Jeff. You're like, oh.
00:17:49
Speaker 8: Jeff said it.
00:17:56
Speaker 3: I agree with you, Jeff.
00:17:57
Speaker 8: I've been trying to tell him and Devin that.
00:17:59
Speaker 7: Your little games, your little reindeer games you guys are playing, hanging out together at Legoland, like 2A.
00:18:04
Speaker 3: You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? Rise with your.
00:18:11
Speaker 7: Letter files, okay? You boys hanging out there at the theme parks.
00:18:15
Speaker 3: I think it's us. I think it's us. Thank you, y'all, as always.
00:18:21
Speaker 1: Hey, hey, James.
00:18:23
Speaker 6: He was like, yeah, man.
00:18:24
Speaker 5: People out here, you know, they don't want to pay me. Jim was like, yeah, but what? Man, you ain't... That $ 500, 000, though?
00:18:29
Speaker 3: Yeah.
00:18:29
Speaker 1: Your little $ 500 to go do Fun Spot? I'm talking about picking up a.
00:18:32
Speaker 3: Chicken sandwich for you.
00:18:32
Speaker 5: Yeah.
00:18:33
Speaker 1: White celebrities, James.
00:18:34
Speaker 5: Wow.
00:18:47
Speaker 1: Oh, Jeff, you got my chest hurting, bro. It's just so funny how people, well, because what happens is I get it. People are monitoring, not monitoring, they're using social media as a barometer. Like, look, if these people have a lot of following, they can bring more customers my way. But you can't get nothing, you know what I mean? You can't get something for nothing. You got to give these people something to come out there. You got to give me some kind of incentive why I would want to do this. And the incentive can't be, well, hey, I'm going to put you on our social media.
00:19:16
Speaker 3: Then i'm helping you.
00:19:18
Speaker 5: You got six followers yeah yeah right yeah yeah yeah.
00:19:23
Speaker 4: And one of them you know yeah.
00:19:26
Speaker 8: I got more followers in your gift shop.
00:19:28
Speaker 1: Dog yeah it's weird it's just a weird space to be in you gotta be like no no thank you but no do.
00:19:38
Speaker 7: It though man just be like hey man just hollywood them The good thing.
00:19:42
Speaker 2: About the budget thing, what he says, what's your budget, because then they can say, oh, let me go back, even though they're not going back, but it allows them to save face. Hey, what's the budget you have on this one? And then they understand, oh, this is professional. Instead of like, how much?
00:19:56
Speaker 1: And there's just certain things that we won't do because it doesn't fit what we're doing.
00:20:02
Speaker 3: What we won't do. Dollars, you got it.
00:20:06
Speaker 1: There's certain things that aren't right for for our, I hate to say brand because it's such an overused thing, but I can't do certain adult themed things as theme park comedians.
00:20:17
Speaker 2: It just don't fit what we do. Also the dumb things they ask you to do. There's dumb tic-tac, like, hey, run down the street like a pirate.
00:20:24
Speaker 3: That's not me. How do pirates run down the street? That's what I want to know. You know, like the Johnny Depp run? I remember they were trying to convince me to do that. I said, no.
00:20:33
Speaker 8: James, it's kind of hard.
00:20:36
Speaker 3: Yeah.
00:20:39
Speaker 1: Yeah. I'm at that point too, man.
00:20:41
Speaker 5: I James, I turned down so much stuff, especially after like wick shows, I get hit up by people, man.
00:20:46
Speaker 6: And they're like, Hey, I got this thing.
00:20:49
Speaker 3: I'm a blah.
00:20:50
Speaker 5: And I'm like, man, It's a Wednesday night. It's at a bar or it's a Wednesday night. It's at your house.
00:20:57
Speaker 1: It's in your back.
00:20:58
Speaker 5: I mean, dude, it's a guy who books these apartment comedy shows.
00:21:01
Speaker 3: Yes.
00:21:02
Speaker 6: And I'm like, man, I did one.
00:21:04
Speaker 1: It's not going to be a good show.
00:21:06
Speaker 6: I just don't want to do it.
00:21:07
Speaker 5: It's not going to be fun. And I hope they don't think I'm diva. I just I'm tired, bro.
00:21:12
Speaker 6: I don't want to do it, man. Like you walk in, man.
00:21:16
Speaker 5: My one of my partners canceled the show to go do another show for better pay he sent me a picture of the show he says man i made a big mistake really he got more money money but he was like man i looked at the money i didn't ask about the event i didn't ask what it was i didn't ask who was gonna be i know i asked nothing i just saw i saw the money and he showed up and he's he's like man it was terrible.
00:21:41
Speaker 1: But can i say this though you we walked we stumbled into a great topic As a comic, I used to feel a type of way of getting my feelings if people would cancel for a show.
00:21:52
Speaker 4: But now I'm not so sure.
00:21:54
Speaker 3: When is it okay to cancel is the question. Yeah, good question. Good question. That's a very good question, man. I mean, day of. The month before or the day of? The day of. Two weeks. That's a douche move.
00:22:06
Speaker 8: Two weeks.
00:22:06
Speaker 7: I mean, I don't want to pretend like I actually think I have an exact number, but at least two weeks.
00:22:12
Speaker 3: You're messing me up, but, you know, okay. I can fix it.
00:22:16
Speaker 1: If you find me somebody.
00:22:17
Speaker 3: Especially if you advertise it.
00:22:19
Speaker 1: Yeah.
00:22:20
Speaker 5: If you find me somebody. Now, Jeff, I'm going to say the reason why I don't think advertising.
00:22:25
Speaker 3: Is that big.
00:22:26
Speaker 5: We're not that famous. Ghost people didn't buy tickets to come see us. They bought tickets to just come to a comedy show. So, now, if it's somebody famous, famous, then, yeah, that's the issue. But, yeah, I've had somebody cancel me same day, but they got me somebody. But if I'm paying you $ 200 and you're going to make $ 800, you better go get that money. But you better give me somebody that is as good as you.
00:22:53
Speaker 2: You guys know I had to do a show where the big headliner and people came in for him and he missed his plane because the plane didn't get off. But I knew being there, those people, they didn't want me no matter how good I was.
00:23:05
Speaker 3: They wanted him. And I killed myself and I walked out of there and I felt bad. Everything reminds me of that. But here's the thing.
00:23:13
Speaker 1: I'm no longer mad at people like that. Like me and Kenny even had a conversation about this. Go get your money comments because I'm learning this business. They would do it to us. And what I mean by that is bookers. Right now, if I was scheduled to perform on Thursday at a club, and I had this booking for three months, but Pauly Shore came into town and said, I want to perform on Thursday, guess who would be bumped from that Thursday show?
00:23:36
Speaker 3: Bro, with the quickness!
00:23:38
Speaker 2: It might keep diving, but you gone.
00:23:44
Speaker 5: It won't give you a guest spot or nothing. It won't let you host. Can I at least feature?
00:23:49
Speaker 3: Nah.
00:23:52
Speaker 7: They could pay me what they were paying me to host, and it still wouldn't affect their bottom line.
00:23:58
Speaker 1: At all.
00:23:59
Speaker 7: Because they're selling more tickets at a higher price, and they still don't.
00:24:03
Speaker 3: Nope.
00:24:04
Speaker 8: They could be like, hey, check it out, man. I got to cancel your headline.
00:24:07
Speaker 3: Hear me out, though.
00:24:07
Speaker 8: I'm going to give you that bread. I'm going to have you host the show.
00:24:10
Speaker 3: I got you. And I'd be cool. I would be cool.
00:24:13
Speaker 7: I'm going to make so much more with this drop-in headliner now. Instead of $ 10 tickets, we're charging $ 35 a ticket.
00:24:20
Speaker 8: Bar's going to be full.
00:24:22
Speaker 3: What's it cost to pay you $ 400.
00:24:23
Speaker 7: Instead of $ 200 to the guy I'm going to pay to host anyway?
00:24:27
Speaker 3: So many things they could do. Nothing. Nothing. But they wouldn't do it. So I've just learned. And now it's a business.
00:24:34
Speaker 1: Don't fool yourself into this false sense of security.
00:24:37
Speaker 3: Oh, they're my friends. Bookers aren't your friends. I'm sorry.
00:24:40
Speaker 1: They are not your friends. They're business people. They're in the business of making money and they don't make money off your friendship. Yeah.
00:24:48
Speaker 7: I was thinking like process because I was bookers aren't your friends.
00:24:52
Speaker 3: And I was like, hookers aren't either. But what? Take care of her enough. Maybe not.
00:24:59
Speaker 7: And then she's going to be in the car, which is just like, hey, man, let me hear about your day.
00:25:02
Speaker 3: You're like. Thanks, Misty.
00:25:08
Speaker 8: When you get into surgery so you can be a hundo lady.
00:25:11
Speaker 3: You know?
00:25:11
Speaker 6: Oh, wow.
00:25:14
Speaker 1: So when we go to Chipotle, Misty, you can get guac.
00:25:16
Speaker 3: Get your guac, girl. Get your guac.
00:25:19
Speaker 8: Let me see your eye, man. Hey, tell Lefty to ease up on you.
00:25:23
Speaker 5: Yeah, I had a conversation with a young comic about that.
00:25:27
Speaker 6: He was like, man, I feel bad.
00:25:28
Speaker 1: I said, hey, man.
00:25:31
Speaker 5: Don't feel bad, but bring them somebody that's equivalent to you.
00:25:37
Speaker 3: They don't do that. He didn't do that, though, I bet.
00:25:40
Speaker 1: No, he got somebody.
00:25:41
Speaker 3: Not got somebody, but somebody equivalent.
00:25:44
Speaker 7: Oh, no.
00:25:44
Speaker 6: Actually, the comedian he got was better than him.
00:25:47
Speaker 3: It was me.
00:25:49
Speaker 1: I filled in for him. I said, I'll do it for you, man. I wasn't doing nothing that night.
00:25:53
Speaker 5: But he was my dog, and I was like, yeah, I'll fill in for you. And they got me on the low because I was coming in for what they were paying them.
00:26:01
Speaker 3: Okay. You know what I'm saying?
00:26:03
Speaker 5: And also, too, I didn't want them to be like, well, we ain't bringing this comedian back because he canceled on us.
00:26:07
Speaker 1: I explained to the booker like, hey, I'm going to tell you like this.
00:26:12
Speaker 5: I get you the booker, but you have to understand, people got to make their money. So you're paying this little 125. They just got a gig for 600. You want them to stay for the 125?
00:26:25
Speaker 1: And he gave you a headliner that's worth $ 800, $ 900?
00:26:27
Speaker 5: Don't hold that grudge.
00:26:30
Speaker 2: That's a different situation, man.
00:26:32
Speaker 1: Don't hold that grudge.
00:26:33
Speaker 2: I'm just saying, for me, I've done some shows where some people bagged on me with a week left and didn't help me out. And I had to go hunting and everything else. And I'll tell you what, I wouldn't go with them again. I wouldn't use them again.
00:26:47
Speaker 3: That's just my own personal feeling. You let me down. You don't take care of me.
00:26:51
Speaker 5: And I 100% agree with you on that, Jeff. If they can't give you somebody's equivalent of them or even better, I don't even blame you, dog.
00:27:00
Speaker 3: I agree with that.
00:27:00
Speaker 1: I'm not going to blame you for going to the next gig because go get your money.
00:27:04
Speaker 3: But if you don't give me a replacement, come on, bro.
00:27:06
Speaker 1: Yeah.
00:27:06
Speaker 3: Give me high and dry. I get that, dog. I 100% agree with you.
00:27:11
Speaker 1: But hey, man.
00:27:13
Speaker 6: But yeah, Jeff, I mean, not Jeff, but James, man, you know your work, big dog.
00:27:18
Speaker 5: And hopefully the people who are hitting you up understand, like, hey, this.
00:27:23
Speaker 1: Is what I do for a living.
00:27:25
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm not saying that. They don't understand.
00:27:28
Speaker 6: They're not professionals.
00:27:30
Speaker 1: They don't do professional comedy shows, so there is some ignorance there built in that they really don't know.
00:27:35
Speaker 3: They have no idea.
00:27:36
Speaker 1: They think, oh, this guy will just come through Because we're going to offer them free tickets to this water park.
00:27:41
Speaker 5: No!
00:27:43
Speaker 3: No, man.
00:27:43
Speaker 2: I actually have people say, hey, can I borrow your studio for the weekend?
00:27:48
Speaker 3: And how much? And I'm like, what?
00:27:51
Speaker 8: They go, yeah, yeah.
00:27:52
Speaker 3: I just want to shoot some things in your... Nah. Hold on. I have rent. I have people. I have insurance. If you do something wrong in this building... You're liable for that. I got problems. And they go, why do you got to be that way? I'm going, you mean responsible? Yeah. Responsible? Responsible? Look at you.
00:28:16
Speaker 1: You're trying to make money out here. You forgot where you come from. That's funny as hell. I know Miguel goes through this too because you run a production company and people just think, oh, Miguel, let me just use it real quick.
00:28:30
Speaker 7: They tell us all the time they want to throw an event here and I'm like, all right, man, we.
00:28:33
Speaker 3: Have a forum. we have a form i send you the form.
00:28:37
Speaker 7: Like they're like hey i want to throw this car show i said cool man i'm gonna send you the event form like no let me just tell you about it no just i have a form don't tell me about it's got 25 questions that are super easy because after you answer all those questions now i can tell you okay this is this is what the budget for the base of what you're doing is i love that and and people are just like oh well oh man i didn't you know man, this is good exposure.
00:29:01
Speaker 3: And I'm like, cool, man. Yeah.
00:29:03
Speaker 7: It's like, I've been trying to pay my bills with exposure for a while and they just keep asking for money.
00:29:09
Speaker 8: I'm just going to, I'm going to go with money.
00:29:12
Speaker 3: On that note, that's how you close out a segment.
00:29:15
Speaker 1: We'll be right back with more hilarity.
00:29:17
Speaker 4: This is real last on real radio. Welcome back, everybody.
00:29:35
Speaker 3: Thank you.
00:29:36
Speaker 1: You are still listening to Real Last on Real Radio 104.1 on still your host, James John. That is still Vacay Ken. That is Jeff Coffin from Coffin & Lynn, our official sponsor. And Miguel Colon. Don't you forget the junior because he knows who his daddy is. Now, speaking of Miguel, Miguel, you got to do something pretty cool over the weekend, celebrating the Halloween season. Now, I have never heard of this before, so please break it down for the listeners out there what you got to do.
00:30:00
Speaker 3: So every Halloween, man, I go check out.
00:30:02
Speaker 7: There's, like, a lot of independent scare trails and haunts.
00:30:07
Speaker 3: And big fan of it. I love the production of it.
00:30:11
Speaker 7: I've never been to one of these scare trails that really scare me because I'm already... It's not that I get me scared, but I'm going in there knowing I'm going to be, I'm going to be, Hey, they're going to be jumping around.
00:30:20
Speaker 3: They're going to be doing this.
00:30:20
Speaker 7: So it's cool. I'm having a blast with it, but I love them. I love the production. I love, I love the value of a man. And, uh, I went to one, I went to one in Baldwin park, which is just down the road from, from where me and Jeff live.
00:30:33
Speaker 3: And I mean, pull it up here. Let me tell the people where I live.
00:30:36
Speaker 2: Let me tell the people where I live.
00:30:39
Speaker 3: Come on. Black Israel. I got five bombs to get in my house.
00:30:46
Speaker 7: They yell outside Jeff's house every time I swing by. They're like, you're going to go see that devil white man.
00:30:51
Speaker 3: I said, yeah, man, he's bringing us lunch. He's nice.
00:30:55
Speaker 7: He's got good roman he's bringing his lunch he's nice no check it out i went to night creepers haunt right night creepers it's in baldwin park uh i checked it out last weekend on saturday i did a show at alex's underground and then i went afterwards it's a it's a town home in baldwin park And there was like a line outside of it of people.
00:31:22
Speaker 3: It's free. It's crazy looking. Free and open to the public.
00:31:26
Speaker 4: I'm looking at it right now. They really go all out.
00:31:29
Speaker 7: They went all out. It's incredibly themed. It was a vibe. And I was thinking about it too, man, because me and my boy Chris, we're driving around. We're following this GPS. We're cruising around this neighborhood. And it's taking us... We're down some quiet-ass streets and stuff. And we're just randomly going to go to a house... that we heard about that's a haunted house and just randomly walk into a stranger's.
00:31:55
Speaker 8: Home and walk through it. And I was like, it's dope being a dude.
00:32:00
Speaker 3: Like rules. I'm like, Hey, you want to go to a random stranger's house and walk around and get scared? He's like, sounds fun. And girls are cool, man.
00:32:10
Speaker 8: Three of us got to walk to the bathroom so we don't get murdered.
00:32:13
Speaker 3: You get free drinks.
00:32:20
Speaker 7: You know, it was cool, man. It was, it was super themed. Uh, just a blast. So my, my question to you guys is, uh, do you remember like when they were neighborhood haunted houses?
00:32:36
Speaker 1: Yes.
00:32:36
Speaker 3: You remember that when somebody would do it?
00:32:38
Speaker 7: And now I'll tell you this, I've been to a lot of neighborhood haunted houses in my day. This, this one I went to was, was super dope. It was like very well themed. Like there's an elevator in it where it's a room you go in and they have, they have a great on top of it. And, and a, and a TV monitor and the TV monitors playing floors rising.
00:32:56
Speaker 8: And they're like shaking it.
00:32:57
Speaker 3: Like you're in an elevator.
00:32:59
Speaker 8: And I'm like, man, white people are cruel.
00:33:01
Speaker 1: They are not murdering or subjecting us to slavery.
00:33:05
Speaker 3: They're pretty cool people. Hey, man, you got a little overrated. OK, James.
00:33:13
Speaker 8: Oh, you guys incorrigible, incorrigible.
00:33:17
Speaker 7: But you remember that you remember neighborhood haunted houses?
00:33:22
Speaker 1: Well, there was a famous one in Kissimmee, believe it or not, throughout my whole like childhood. elementary, middle school, even in the beginning of high school, there's this place called JC's haunted house. And it was this old house that was in this field in Kissimmee. Every year they would take all three stories and make this incredible haunted house. It was like $ 5 to get in. Thousands of people would come through that thing, man. But then They finally had to tear the house down because they had like termites or like, you know, dead people in it.
00:33:51
Speaker 3: But anyway, it was fun.
00:33:53
Speaker 7: You're like, mom, look at this room. It's ladies in their bras bagging up coke. Hey, sorry, let me close that door.
00:33:58
Speaker 1: That's how J.C.
00:34:00
Speaker 3: Keeps the house going.
00:34:03
Speaker 5: Hey, James, you're on the third floor and you just fall through. You're like, man, that trap door is so real.
00:34:10
Speaker 3: You signed the waiver. You signed the waiver.
00:34:12
Speaker 1: Put some salt on started it'll be fine.
00:34:17
Speaker 7: If i can't remember in your hands you go through the house.
00:34:20
Speaker 3: You gotta add that after kicking.
00:34:22
Speaker 5: The ass fell through the floor hey fell through the floor and you walking through it you get hit like yo this is so real man this is crazy.
00:34:34
Speaker 1: Somebody actually really died.
00:34:36
Speaker 5: They got real damn bodies.
00:34:39
Speaker 1: This is for $ 5.
00:34:40
Speaker 3: This is crazy.
00:34:43
Speaker 1: Kissimmee was a wild place back in the day.
00:34:49
Speaker 5: I got to say, man, because I grew up in the projects and I didn't grow up around any houses. Once I got older, I didn't take my kids trick-or-treating. I had never seen somebody's house as a haunted house.
00:35:01
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's a wild experience, man. They get into... And you always... You know, like.
00:35:06
Speaker 8: You always.
00:35:07
Speaker 3: Wonder about these people because you're like.
00:35:09
Speaker 7: You're letting a thousand strangers just walk through your house.
00:35:13
Speaker 3: Like... The confidence. The confidence. Because I... I remember when I was a kid, man.
00:35:21
Speaker 7: Like... We would go to these houses, and I guess the confidence in us as a kid, because we'd just be like, hey, there's this random house having a haunted house.
00:35:30
Speaker 3: You want to go?
00:35:30
Speaker 7: And we'd walk through somebody's house. When we were kids, man, in the back of my mind, we were like, they're going to try to molest us, but.
00:35:41
Speaker 3: Wait, wait. There's a haunted house, too.
00:35:44
Speaker 8: 50-50 here.
00:35:44
Speaker 3: Hey, but I heard at the end they're giving out action. Don't fall through the floor. Yeah. Because you land in that basement. JC's got you. But other than that, man.
00:35:54
Speaker 1: Dog, let me tell you something. Howie ain't dead, bro.
00:35:58
Speaker 3: We will walk.
00:35:59
Speaker 5: Let me tell you about Greensboro.
00:36:01
Speaker 1: Let me tell you about Greensboro, dog.
00:36:03
Speaker 5: Me and my partners will walk, leave our housing projects and we'll walk to these white, rich neighborhoods all the way across town and the crew and just sugar treat.
00:36:15
Speaker 1: How we ain't kidnap... I ain't on.
00:36:18
Speaker 3: A milk box somewhere.
00:36:20
Speaker 5: There's no way your mama still let a nine-year-old walk across Greensboro.
00:36:25
Speaker 7: That's why we have very special episodes of TV. Because they were like, in the middle of Punky Brewster, they were like, hey, just... Wash your butthole. All right, Gloamer, come on, let's go.
00:36:38
Speaker 5: Hey, what was the episode of G.I. Joe at the end when the dude called the house?
00:36:43
Speaker 3: Yeah.
00:36:44
Speaker 1: And he was like, hey, is your dad home?
00:36:45
Speaker 3: He's like, no.
00:36:46
Speaker 5: And then he show up and Shipwreck is like, hey, man, don't be telling people you home by yourself.
00:36:52
Speaker 7: Shipwreck was kind of like, hey, that dude's cruising.
00:36:56
Speaker 5: I know.
00:36:57
Speaker 8: Look what I wear.
00:36:59
Speaker 3: You know? Yeah. Hey, no puppies? Don't get in the van. There you go.
00:37:05
Speaker 8: It's coming out your mama's room, smoking a Newport.
00:37:07
Speaker 3: Hey, we're in the store. Go get your mama some Kotex.
00:37:11
Speaker 8: Use this chain to get you some candy.
00:37:12
Speaker 3: You earned it. She's sleepy. Oh, my God.
00:37:23
Speaker 5: What's up with all this jello pudding here, mom?
00:37:28
Speaker 1: Don't worry about it.
00:37:29
Speaker 3: Don't worry about it.
00:37:30
Speaker 1: Your mom will tie you.
00:37:32
Speaker 3: Don't worry about it. Your mom will tie you. Why does this guy call me Theo?
00:37:38
Speaker 1: Bro, the crazy part was when we were smaller, though, we were younger in the 80s, I will say this, there was affordable entertainment for kids.
00:37:45
Speaker 4: There was cheap things you could.
00:37:47
Speaker 8: Actually go to.
00:37:50
Speaker 1: I would tell you, I challenge y'all nowadays to find anywhere you can take your kids for cheap entertainment.
00:37:56
Speaker 3: It don't even exist.
00:37:58
Speaker 1: The Dollar Theater is gone, bro.
00:38:01
Speaker 3: It's gone. I was going to say, it's done.
00:38:04
Speaker 7: And my dad would literally, Pops would literally pick me up And it would be like his weekend to hang out with me. And he would be like, you want to go to the dollar theater with your buddies? And he would go and he would be like, grab a couple of your buddies.
00:38:16
Speaker 3: Here's a dollar.
00:38:17
Speaker 5: You know, this is the one on base.
00:38:19
Speaker 1: Oh, no, this is just out there.
00:38:21
Speaker 3: But the base one to the base one to grab my friends and we would all go in a car.
00:38:26
Speaker 7: And, you know, and at the dollar theater, the good thing about the dollar theater was the dollar theater.
00:38:31
Speaker 3: Everything was cheap. So it was two dollars. Everything was cheap. And it was affordable for.
00:38:36
Speaker 7: A grown man to take his son and a couple of his friends out. Like my whole childhood, no matter how struggling people were, there.
00:38:46
Speaker 8: Was something affordable to do. For you and your family.
00:38:51
Speaker 3: And I will say this.
00:38:52
Speaker 7: I will give a shout out to my man, Jeff Kaufman, because when you used to do those theaters and we would do the movie nights, there would be families, six, seven people in the family all together going to watch the new Spider-Man a day before.
00:39:08
Speaker 3: The rest of the world got to see it.
00:39:10
Speaker 7: And man, you made dads and moms feel like champs.
00:39:15
Speaker 3: Yep. I bump into these people and I feel bad that theater closed. Because all the other theaters, nobody wants to go. I try to pay for people to go down to International, Cinemark. They're not going all the way down there. They want to be somewhere close and easy. and this was it. Fashion Square Mall was great.
00:39:34
Speaker 7: I would literally bring my own bag of cold air, though, because they never had the AC on.
00:39:38
Speaker 3: We had seven theaters. That was the last movie we saw. Seven theaters. I saw Bullet Train there.
00:39:45
Speaker 2: I saw.
00:39:48
Speaker 3: Aquaman 2.
00:39:50
Speaker 7: I saw a movie that I would have never gone to see that I ended up telling people it was a great movie.
00:39:54
Speaker 3: I saw The Fall Guy and I did not want to go see The Fall Guy. And that movie was great.
00:39:59
Speaker 1: No, I want to watch it. My wife would not watch it with me. So I'm just going.
00:40:04
Speaker 3: To watch it by myself. It's a good movie.
00:40:08
Speaker 1: Nah, she wasn't interested in it.
00:40:10
Speaker 3: Hey, Gosling the man, dog. Gosling's the man. I was going to say the same thing.
00:40:14
Speaker 1: I became a Ryan Gosling fan after seeing him And a couple things. Even his Netflix movie he was in called The Gray Man with Chris.
00:40:21
Speaker 3: Yeah.
00:40:22
Speaker 4: That was a good movie, man.
00:40:25
Speaker 3: Project Hail Mary.
00:40:26
Speaker 6: Yes.
00:40:27
Speaker 1: Project Hail Mary.
00:40:29
Speaker 3: Gosling. Him and a spider just made me cry for two hours.
00:40:34
Speaker 1: I cried like a baby watching that.
00:40:37
Speaker 3: Got in love with that dude. I get why women like him. I like him on Saturday Night Live, too. I like when he shows up there.
00:40:42
Speaker 1: Yes. I like him in a notebook.
00:40:45
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah. You know, man, I like being standing up, Ken. You can't even look at us. Get off the screen. Just get off the screen. Keep your head down there.
00:40:56
Speaker 5: The notebook is my movie, bro. I want to see the notebook to play. And they had a black girl playing the white girl in.
00:41:03
Speaker 3: The place, bud.
00:41:04
Speaker 1: That's what I'm talking about, B.
00:41:06
Speaker 5: Because fictional characters can be different colors.
00:41:09
Speaker 8: Yeah. I want to see Taylor Perry's notebook, and it's.
00:41:12
Speaker 7: A composition notebook just with hip-hop verses in it.
00:41:15
Speaker 3: JT's lyrics? Yeah. Reasonable Doubt album? Yeah.
00:41:22
Speaker 1: I will say, I'm looking forward to seeing Ryan Gosling play Ghost Rider, because I'm a comic book geek.
00:41:27
Speaker 3: Is it Johnny Blaze, Ghost Rider? Yeah, that's what's up, man.
00:41:31
Speaker 4: Yeah, so I can't wait for that.
00:41:33
Speaker 3: I'm taking the crew to Clayface tomorrow night.
00:41:36
Speaker 5: I heard it was Clayface. That Clayface creeping me out. He's doing this with the scissors.
00:41:42
Speaker 1: I don't understand Clayface.
00:41:47
Speaker 7: The DC not connected Batman movies. They're not bad. Joker was cool. I just don't understand. I watched some of the second one and I was like, did I eat anadryl and edibles at the same time?
00:42:04
Speaker 5: Facts! Edibles is wild, son.
00:42:10
Speaker 7: I watched the second one and I was like, wait a second. Remember, did you lick a frog at any time?
00:42:17
Speaker 3: What is happening here? Yeah, again. I took a bathroom break. I took an extended bathroom break. That's how bad it is. You know, normally when you go to the movie, you go, everything's got to be real quick and get back in there.
00:42:28
Speaker 2: I took my time, and I think I did a lap around the concession stand.
00:42:32
Speaker 3: I did anything not to go back. I went to another movie and came back.
00:42:37
Speaker 5: Hey, I went to play Spades and threw out the big joker before I came back.
00:42:42
Speaker 3: I apologized to people at the door.
00:42:44
Speaker 2: 700 people I had to apologize to.
00:42:47
Speaker 1: I remember when he did that, he said, I'm sorry.
00:42:50
Speaker 3: I'm sorry for your loss. I went upstairs and saw the projectionist. I said, you watching this garbage? He said, hey, man. The fall guy on the phone.
00:42:58
Speaker 1: Oh, man. Okay, before we go, we got limited time. You guys have been absolutely great this episode of Real Lives. That's why I love this. Where are you guys going to be so they can go ahead and definitely come out and support you? Jeff, what do you got going on this weekend, sir?
00:43:16
Speaker 2: Well, Saturday on Under Oath, I have Henry Winkler on the show.
00:43:19
Speaker 3: The Fonz. The Fonz, man. I am so happy about that. You know, it's so weird.
00:43:25
Speaker 2: I had Shatner two days ago, and they did that show in Europe where they traveled around together.
00:43:29
Speaker 1: Yep.
00:43:30
Speaker 3: It's so weird to have these guys four days apart.
00:43:33
Speaker 1: That's dope, brother. That's dope. Congratulations on that, my friend. Miguel, what you got going on this weekend? You home or you on the road?
00:43:40
Speaker 3: I am home this weekend.
00:43:42
Speaker 7: We've got our members Halloween party this weekend at the Sausage Castle. But November 6th through 7th, I'm at the Milwaukee Improv. And November 8th, I'm at the Comedy Cabin in Janesville, Wisconsin. Then November 15th, I'm at the D.C. Comedy Loft. December 3rd through 5th, I'm at Helium in Portland. December 17th, The Comedy Catch in Chattanooga, Tennessee. December 20th, Mike Drops San Diego. December 26th through 27th, Tacoma, Washington.
00:44:10
Speaker 3: Oh, come on. Clap your up, bro. You are out there on the road. You paying spirits, Bill. That Frontier Go Wild Pass, man. That's how you doing it.
00:44:22
Speaker 7: Frontier Go Wild Pass is crazy because the flights will be like $ 11, but when you get on the plane, they hand you a pistol and they're like, we're going to roll by the house one time.
00:44:30
Speaker 3: Buckle on it. Hey!
00:44:35
Speaker 1: The windows on Frontier got a, you can wind it down like this, kid.
00:44:39
Speaker 7: Yeah. He looks at me, he goes, hey, we only try to shoot Scooter. If his people buck, let him. If they turn around, hit him up.
00:44:46
Speaker 3: All right. All right. God bless, man.
00:44:49
Speaker 8: Do a little bump. Do a little bump.
00:44:50
Speaker 3: Get right, kid. Get right. But you're the pilot. I know. Here we go. Calm down.
00:44:54
Speaker 1: Calm down.
00:44:59
Speaker 5: Hey, man, it's Halloween weekend, bro. So I'm going to be chilling, man, with my wife. We're going to go see a play or something. Because you know me, I do not do comedy Halloween weekend because them shows are terrible.
00:45:10
Speaker 1: So I'm going to be chilling.
00:45:12
Speaker 5: But next week, November 5th through the 8th, we will be at Off the Hook Comedy Club, me, Mike Curley, and OMG, it's Wix, OMG, Wix, and friends. So make sure y'all check us out, man. Naples, Florida. If you're in the area, come see the kids.
00:45:26
Speaker 1: Beautiful, beautiful. I just want to say real quick before I forget. We know you know how we we do these shows. We record them early and we record on Monday for this show on Wednesday. It's my sister, Gwen, my older sister's birthday. I love you so much. And I got to show this Thursday, guys. You can catch me in Cocoa Beach. I'm going to be at the boardroom.
00:45:46
Speaker 3: That's right.
00:45:46
Speaker 1: Shout out to Mr. Mark for putting this together. Let me be on this show, man. I can't wait to do it. Mike Macy, a name from the past.
00:45:54
Speaker 3: Well, man, yeah, brother.
00:45:56
Speaker 1: You know, he lives out there, so I can't wait to do it. If you guys want to get some tickets for that, just check me. My social media out. You guys can get some tickets and definitely come to.
00:46:04
Speaker 3: Let's hang out. Hold up. Joe on Sunday.
00:46:08
Speaker 4: Oh, dang!
00:46:09
Speaker 3: I forgot!
00:46:10
Speaker 4: Thank you.
00:46:13
Speaker 3: Dang, thank you.
00:46:14
Speaker 1: Our first Funny Bone, Orlando Funny Bone that is, our first show is Theme Park Comedians are this Sunday coming up on November 1st.
00:46:22
Speaker 3: Thank you, Miguel. I appreciate you, man. Nah, it's gonna be whack. But still, go support my friends because they're sick.
00:46:30
Speaker 7: They're so much better than everybody because they're famous and everybody loves them.
00:46:33
Speaker 3: And also, man, I'll get sick and tired of my mom and.
00:46:36
Speaker 7: Sisters being like, oh, did you see Devin and James and the theme park comedians?
00:46:41
Speaker 3: I said, no, I didn't see them there. But you know where I saw them? Cruising the trail. Both of them. Pre-ops. Pre-ops. So I'll see all of you this Sunday. See my friends. They're really funny. Let me do my ticker impression when I get on stage.
00:47:02
Speaker 1: Come on.
00:47:02
Speaker 3: There you go. There you go. On behalf of myself, Mr. James, John, that is Ken Miller over there. That's Miguel Cologne.
00:47:09
Speaker 1: Don't you forget the junior knows who his daddy is. Jeff's coughing from our official sponsors, coughing and laying your personal injury attorney.
00:47:15
Speaker 3: Thank y'all for listening. We will see y'all tomorrow. Ken, tell him what to do.
00:47:19
Speaker 1: Take your ass to bed.
00:47:22
Speaker 3: We out.
