WEBVTT
1
00:00:00.600 --> 00:00:04.960
Section forty four of The Rainbow. This is a LibriVox recording.
2
00:00:05.160 --> 00:00:08.400
All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more
3
00:00:08.400 --> 00:00:13.439
information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox dot org. Recording
4
00:00:13.519 --> 00:00:17.280
by A. Rowan Patagill. The Rainbow by D. H. Lawrence,
5
00:00:17.839 --> 00:00:25.359
Chapter fourteen, Part one, Chapter fourteen, The Widening Circle. Maggie's people,
6
00:00:25.519 --> 00:00:28.879
the Showfields, lived in the large gardener's cottage that was
7
00:00:28.920 --> 00:00:32.600
half a farm behind Belcote Hall. The hall was too
8
00:00:32.640 --> 00:00:35.960
damp to live in, so the Showfields were caretakers, gamekeepers,
9
00:00:36.159 --> 00:00:40.439
farmers all in one. The father was gamekeeper and stock breeder.
10
00:00:40.719 --> 00:00:44.520
The eldest son was market gardener using the Big Hall gardens.
11
00:00:44.920 --> 00:00:47.960
The second son was farmer and gardener. There was a
12
00:00:48.039 --> 00:00:52.000
large family as at Cosathay. Ursula loved to stay at
13
00:00:52.079 --> 00:00:55.880
Belcote to be treated as a grand lady by Maggie's brothers.
14
00:00:56.399 --> 00:00:59.399
They were good looking men. The eldest was twenty six
15
00:00:59.479 --> 00:01:03.600
years old. He was the gardener, a man not very tall,
16
00:01:03.920 --> 00:01:07.640
but strong and well made, with brown, sunny, easy eyes
17
00:01:07.680 --> 00:01:11.079
and a face handsomely hewn brown with a long, fair
18
00:01:11.159 --> 00:01:15.000
mustache which he pulled as he talked to Ursula. The
19
00:01:15.079 --> 00:01:17.959
girl was excited because these men attended to her when
20
00:01:17.959 --> 00:01:20.719
she came near. She could make their eyes light up
21
00:01:20.760 --> 00:01:23.799
and quiver. She could make Antony the eldest, twist and
22
00:01:23.879 --> 00:01:27.879
twist his mustache. She knew she could move them almost
23
00:01:27.879 --> 00:01:30.959
at will with her light, laughter and chatter. They loved
24
00:01:30.959 --> 00:01:34.599
her ideas, watched her as she talked vehemently about politics
25
00:01:34.680 --> 00:01:38.599
or economics, and she, while she talked, saw the golden
26
00:01:38.599 --> 00:01:41.280
brown eyes of Antony gleam like the eyes of a
27
00:01:41.359 --> 00:01:44.319
satyr as they watched her. He did not listen to
28
00:01:44.359 --> 00:01:48.920
her words. He listened to her. It excited her. He
29
00:01:49.040 --> 00:01:51.519
was like a fawn, pleased when she would go with
30
00:01:51.640 --> 00:01:54.120
him over his hot houses to look at the green
31
00:01:54.159 --> 00:01:58.560
and pretty plants, at the pink primulas nodding among their leaves,
32
00:01:58.599 --> 00:02:03.400
and sonarias flaunting purple and crimson and white. She asked
33
00:02:03.400 --> 00:02:06.519
about everything, and he told her very exactly and minutely,
34
00:02:06.599 --> 00:02:09.240
in a queer, pedantic way that made her want to laugh.
35
00:02:09.599 --> 00:02:12.080
Yet she was rarely interested in what he did, and
36
00:02:12.199 --> 00:02:14.759
he had the curious light in his face, like the
37
00:02:14.840 --> 00:02:17.120
light in the eyes of the goat that was tethered
38
00:02:17.159 --> 00:02:20.599
by the farmyard gate. She went down with him into
39
00:02:20.639 --> 00:02:23.400
the warmish cellar, where already in the darkness the little
40
00:02:23.479 --> 00:02:26.800
yellow knobs of rhubarb were coming. He held the lantern
41
00:02:26.879 --> 00:02:29.680
down to the dark earth. She saw the tiny knob
42
00:02:29.800 --> 00:02:33.759
end of the rhubarb thrusting upwards upon the thick red stem,
43
00:02:34.080 --> 00:02:37.520
thrusting itself like a knob of flame through the soft soil.
44
00:02:38.120 --> 00:02:40.759
His face was turned up to her. The light glittered
45
00:02:40.759 --> 00:02:42.919
on his eyes and his teeth as he laughed, a
46
00:02:42.960 --> 00:02:47.400
faint musical Nay, he looked handsome, And she heard a
47
00:02:47.439 --> 00:02:51.080
new sound in her ears, the faintly musical, neighing laugh
48
00:02:51.159 --> 00:02:54.159
of Antony, whose mustache twisted up, and whose eyes were
49
00:02:54.199 --> 00:02:58.639
luminous with the cold, steady, arrogant, laughing glare. There seemed
50
00:02:58.639 --> 00:03:01.639
a little prance of triumph in his movement. She could
51
00:03:01.639 --> 00:03:04.560
not rid herself of a movement of acquiescence, a touch
52
00:03:04.599 --> 00:03:08.479
of acceptance. Yet he was so humble, his voice was
53
00:03:08.520 --> 00:03:11.560
so caressing. He held his hand for her to step
54
00:03:11.639 --> 00:03:14.240
on when she must climb a wall, and she stepped
55
00:03:14.280 --> 00:03:17.400
on the living firmness of him that quivered firmly under
56
00:03:17.439 --> 00:03:20.240
her weight. She was aware of him as if in
57
00:03:20.280 --> 00:03:24.080
a mesmeric state. In her ordinary sense, she had nothing
58
00:03:24.080 --> 00:03:28.080
to do with him, but the peculiar ease and unnoticeableness
59
00:03:28.120 --> 00:03:31.120
of his entering the house. The power of his cold,
60
00:03:31.280 --> 00:03:33.719
gleaming light on her when he looked at her, was
61
00:03:33.919 --> 00:03:37.159
like a bewitchment. In his eyes, as in the pale
62
00:03:37.199 --> 00:03:40.319
gray eyes of a goat. There seemed some of that steady,
63
00:03:40.479 --> 00:03:43.360
hard fire of moonlight, which has nothing to do with
64
00:03:43.439 --> 00:03:46.360
the day. It made her alert, and yet her mind
65
00:03:46.439 --> 00:03:50.400
went out like an extinguished thing. She was all senses,
66
00:03:50.879 --> 00:03:54.960
all her senses were alive. Then she saw him on Sunday,
67
00:03:55.360 --> 00:03:58.319
dressed up in his Sunday clothes, trying to impress her,
68
00:03:58.599 --> 00:04:02.240
and he looked ridiculous. She clung to the ridiculous effect
69
00:04:02.439 --> 00:04:06.080
of his stiff Sunday clothes. She was always conscious of
70
00:04:06.120 --> 00:04:10.360
some unfaithfulness to Maggie. On Antony's score, poor Maggie stood apart,
71
00:04:10.439 --> 00:04:14.240
as if betrayed. Maggie and Antony were enemies by instinct.
72
00:04:14.319 --> 00:04:16.600
Ursula had to go back to her friend, brimming with
73
00:04:16.639 --> 00:04:20.160
affection and a poignancy of pity, which Maggie received with
74
00:04:20.199 --> 00:04:23.839
a little stiffness. Then poetry and books and learning took
75
00:04:23.839 --> 00:04:27.240
the place of Antony. With his goat's movements and his cold,
76
00:04:27.279 --> 00:04:31.600
gleaming humor. While Ursula was at bulcoat, the snow fell
77
00:04:31.800 --> 00:04:34.160
in the morning. A covering of snow weighed on the
78
00:04:34.199 --> 00:04:38.439
rhododendron bushes. Shall we go out, said Maggie. She had
79
00:04:38.439 --> 00:04:41.439
lost some of her leader's sureness and was now tensative
80
00:04:41.680 --> 00:04:44.639
a little in reserve from her friend. They took the
81
00:04:44.720 --> 00:04:47.360
key of the gate and wandered into the park. It
82
00:04:47.480 --> 00:04:50.040
was a white world on which dark trees and tree
83
00:04:50.079 --> 00:04:53.360
masses stood under a sky keen with frost. The two
84
00:04:53.399 --> 00:04:56.360
girls went past the hall that were shuttered and silent,
85
00:04:56.600 --> 00:04:59.560
their footprints marking the snow. On the drive down the
86
00:04:59.600 --> 00:05:02.560
park long way off, a man was carrying armfuls of
87
00:05:02.560 --> 00:05:05.360
hay across the snow. He was a small, dark figure,
88
00:05:05.480 --> 00:05:09.600
like an animal, moving in its unawareness. Ursula and Maggie
89
00:05:09.639 --> 00:05:12.560
went on exploring down a tinkling, chilly brook that had
90
00:05:12.560 --> 00:05:16.120
worn the snow away in little scoops and ran dark between.
91
00:05:16.439 --> 00:05:19.079
They saw a robin glance its bright eyes and burst
92
00:05:19.199 --> 00:05:22.360
scarlet and gray into the hedge. Then some pertly marked
93
00:05:22.360 --> 00:05:26.560
blue tits scuffled. Meanwhile, the brook slid on coldly, chuckling
94
00:05:26.720 --> 00:05:31.120
to itself. The girls wandered across the snowy grass to
95
00:05:31.120 --> 00:05:34.639
where the artificial fish ponds lay under thin ice. There
96
00:05:34.720 --> 00:05:37.519
was a big tree with a thick trunk twisted with ivy,
97
00:05:37.560 --> 00:05:41.720
that hung almost horizontal over the ponds. Ursula climbed joyfully
98
00:05:41.759 --> 00:05:44.519
into this and sat amidst bosses of bright ivy and
99
00:05:44.600 --> 00:05:48.319
dull berries. Some ivy leaves were like green spears, held
100
00:05:48.319 --> 00:05:51.800
out and tipped with snow. The ice was seen beneath them.
101
00:05:52.360 --> 00:05:55.240
Maggie took out a book, and, sitting lower down the trunk,
102
00:05:55.279 --> 00:05:59.920
began to read Coleridge's Crystabell. Ursula half listened. She was
103
00:06:00.120 --> 00:06:04.000
wildly thrilled. Then she saw Antony coming across the snow
104
00:06:04.160 --> 00:06:08.120
with his confident slightly strutting stride. His face looked brown
105
00:06:08.199 --> 00:06:11.079
and hard against the snow, smiling with a sort of
106
00:06:11.120 --> 00:06:15.759
tense confidence. Hallo, she called to him. A response went
107
00:06:15.800 --> 00:06:18.360
over his face. His head was lifted in an answering,
108
00:06:18.560 --> 00:06:22.759
jerking gesture. Hallo. He said, you're like a bird in there,
109
00:06:23.160 --> 00:06:26.680
and Ursula's laugh rang out. She answered to the peculiar
110
00:06:26.720 --> 00:06:30.279
reedy twang in his penetrating voice. She did not think
111
00:06:30.319 --> 00:06:32.639
of Antony yet she lived in a sort of connection
112
00:06:32.720 --> 00:06:35.639
with him in his world. One evening, she met him
113
00:06:35.720 --> 00:06:38.199
as she was coming down the lane, and they walked
114
00:06:38.240 --> 00:06:42.879
side by side. I think it's so lovely here, she cried,
115
00:06:43.839 --> 00:06:47.079
do you, he said, I'm glad you like it. There
116
00:06:47.160 --> 00:06:50.680
was a curious confidence in his voice. Oh, I love it.
117
00:06:51.040 --> 00:06:53.480
What more does one want than to live in this
118
00:06:53.680 --> 00:06:56.639
beautiful place and make things grow in your garden? It
119
00:06:56.720 --> 00:07:00.360
is like the Guardian of Eden, is it he? He said,
120
00:07:00.360 --> 00:07:03.839
with a little laugh. Yes, well, it's not so bad.
121
00:07:04.680 --> 00:07:08.160
He was hesitating. The pale gleam was strong in his eyes.
122
00:07:08.360 --> 00:07:11.279
He was looking at her, steadily, watching her as an
123
00:07:11.319 --> 00:07:15.000
animal might. Something leaped in her soul. She knew he
124
00:07:15.079 --> 00:07:17.240
was going to suggest to her that she should be
125
00:07:17.319 --> 00:07:20.519
as he was. Would you like to stay here with me,
126
00:07:21.240 --> 00:07:25.120
he asked tentatively. She blenched with fear, and with the
127
00:07:25.199 --> 00:07:30.160
intense sensation of proffered license, suggested to her. They had
128
00:07:30.199 --> 00:07:34.560
come to the gate, how, she asked, You aren't alone here?
129
00:07:35.879 --> 00:07:40.040
We could marry, he answered, in the strange, coldly gleaming,
130
00:07:40.079 --> 00:07:45.040
insinuating tone that chilled the sunshine into moonlight. All substantial
131
00:07:45.079 --> 00:07:49.480
things seemed transformed. Shadows and dancing moonlight were real. And
132
00:07:49.639 --> 00:07:56.399
all cold, inhuman, gleaming sensations. She realized, with something like terror,
133
00:07:56.720 --> 00:07:59.839
that she was going to accept this. She was going
134
00:07:59.839 --> 00:08:03.360
in inevitably to accept him. His hand was reaching out
135
00:08:03.439 --> 00:08:07.399
to the gate before them. She stood still. His flesh
136
00:08:07.560 --> 00:08:10.680
was hard and brown and final. She seemed to be
137
00:08:10.720 --> 00:08:15.319
in the grip of some insult. I couldn't, she answered, involuntarily.
138
00:08:16.560 --> 00:08:20.480
He gave the same brief, neighing, little laugh, very sad
139
00:08:20.560 --> 00:08:23.600
and bitter now, and slotted back the bar of the gate.
140
00:08:24.319 --> 00:08:27.639
Yet he did not open for a moment. They both
141
00:08:27.680 --> 00:08:30.720
stood looking at the fire of sunset that quivered among
142
00:08:30.759 --> 00:08:34.559
the purple twigs of the trees. She saw his brown, hard,
143
00:08:34.679 --> 00:08:39.080
well hewn face, gleaming with anger and humiliation and submission.
144
00:08:39.919 --> 00:08:42.559
He was an animal that knows that it is subdued.
145
00:08:43.360 --> 00:08:46.480
Her heart flamed with the sensation of him, of the
146
00:08:46.519 --> 00:08:50.200
fascinating thing that he offered her, and with sorrow, and
147
00:08:50.279 --> 00:08:54.440
with an inconsolable sense of loneliness. Her soul was an
148
00:08:54.480 --> 00:08:58.960
infant crying in the night. He had no soul, Oh,
149
00:08:58.960 --> 00:09:04.240
and why had she? He was the cleaner. She turned away.
150
00:09:04.720 --> 00:09:07.279
She turned round from him and saw the east flush.
151
00:09:07.399 --> 00:09:11.200
Strangely rose the moon coming yellow and lovely upon a
152
00:09:11.320 --> 00:09:17.159
rosy sky, above the darkening bluish snow. All this so beautiful,
153
00:09:17.720 --> 00:09:21.919
all this so lovely. He did not see it, he
154
00:09:22.120 --> 00:09:25.159
was one with it. But she saw it and was
155
00:09:25.200 --> 00:09:30.879
one with it. Her seeing separated them infinitely. They went
156
00:09:30.960 --> 00:09:34.320
on in silence down the path, following their different fates.
157
00:09:34.840 --> 00:09:39.120
The trees grew darker and darker, the snow made only
158
00:09:39.159 --> 00:09:42.960
a dimness in an unreal world, and like a shadow,
159
00:09:43.399 --> 00:09:46.840
the day had gone into a faintly luminous, snowy evening.
160
00:09:47.360 --> 00:09:50.240
While she was talking aimlessly to him to keep him
161
00:09:50.240 --> 00:09:53.480
at a distance, yet to keep him near her, and
162
00:09:53.600 --> 00:09:58.759
he walked heavily. He opened the garden gate for her quietly,
163
00:09:59.080 --> 00:10:02.519
and she was entering into her own pleasances, leaving him
164
00:10:02.559 --> 00:10:06.559
outside the gate. Then, even whilst she was escaping, or
165
00:10:06.559 --> 00:10:10.600
trying to escape, this feeling of pain came Maggie the
166
00:10:10.639 --> 00:10:14.360
next day, saying, I wouldn't make Antony love you, Ursula,
167
00:10:14.559 --> 00:10:18.840
if you don't want him, it is not nice. But Maggie,
168
00:10:19.080 --> 00:10:22.960
I never made him love me, cried Ursula, dismayed and suffering,
169
00:10:23.120 --> 00:10:26.120
and feeling as if she had done something base. She
170
00:10:26.399 --> 00:10:29.919
liked Antony, though all her life. At intervals she returned
171
00:10:29.960 --> 00:10:32.559
to the thought of him and of that which he offered.
172
00:10:33.360 --> 00:10:35.799
But she was a traveler. She was a traveler on
173
00:10:35.840 --> 00:10:38.480
the face of the earth, and he was an isolated
174
00:10:38.519 --> 00:10:42.480
creature living in the fulfillment of his own senses. She
175
00:10:42.559 --> 00:10:45.000
could not help it that she was a traveler. She
176
00:10:45.080 --> 00:10:49.279
knew antony that he was not one. But oh, ultimately
177
00:10:49.320 --> 00:10:52.360
and finally, she must go on and on, seeking the
178
00:10:52.559 --> 00:10:56.720
goal that she knew she did draw nearer to. She
179
00:10:56.879 --> 00:11:00.000
was wearing away her second and last cyclets and phillips.
180
00:11:00.360 --> 00:11:03.600
As the months went she ticked them off, first October,
181
00:11:03.879 --> 00:11:08.679
then November, December, January. She was careful always to subtract
182
00:11:08.720 --> 00:11:11.759
a month from the remainder for the summer holidays. She
183
00:11:11.840 --> 00:11:15.399
saw herself traveling round a circle, only the ark of
184
00:11:15.440 --> 00:11:19.159
which remained complete. Then she was in the open, like
185
00:11:19.200 --> 00:11:22.080
a bird tossed into mid air, a bird that had
186
00:11:22.200 --> 00:11:25.840
learned in some measure to fly. There was college ahead.
187
00:11:26.480 --> 00:11:31.519
That was her mid air, unknown, spacious, come college, and
188
00:11:31.679 --> 00:11:34.360
she would have broken from the confines of all the
189
00:11:34.440 --> 00:11:37.600
life she had known. For her father was also going
190
00:11:37.639 --> 00:11:42.080
to move. They were all going to leave Cossythay Brangwin
191
00:11:42.200 --> 00:11:46.200
had kept his carelessness about his circumstances. He knew his
192
00:11:46.360 --> 00:11:49.440
work in the lace designing meant little to him personally.
193
00:11:49.759 --> 00:11:52.600
He just earned his wage. Bite he did not know
194
00:11:52.840 --> 00:11:56.399
what meant much to him. Living close to Anna Brangwen,
195
00:11:56.720 --> 00:12:00.440
his mind was always suffused through with physical heat. He
196
00:12:00.519 --> 00:12:06.039
moved from instinct to instinct, groping, always groping on. When
197
00:12:06.039 --> 00:12:08.440
it was suggested to him that he might apply for
198
00:12:08.519 --> 00:12:12.080
one of the posts as hand work instructor posts about
199
00:12:12.080 --> 00:12:15.240
to be created by the Nottingham Education Committee, it was
200
00:12:15.279 --> 00:12:17.440
as if a space had been given to him in
201
00:12:17.480 --> 00:12:21.240
which he could remove from his hot, dusky enclosure. He
202
00:12:21.360 --> 00:12:25.399
sent in his application confidently, expectantly. He had a sort
203
00:12:25.440 --> 00:12:30.080
of belief in his supernatural fate. The inevitable weariness of
204
00:12:30.120 --> 00:12:33.039
his daily work had stiffened some of his muscles and
205
00:12:33.159 --> 00:12:37.000
made a slight deadness in his ruddy alert face. Now
206
00:12:37.120 --> 00:12:40.759
he might escape. He was full of new possibilities, and
207
00:12:40.840 --> 00:12:44.440
his wife was acquiescent. She was willing now to have
208
00:12:44.480 --> 00:12:48.320
a change. She too was tired of Coscathae. The house
209
00:12:48.480 --> 00:12:51.360
was too small for the growing children, and since she
210
00:12:51.480 --> 00:12:54.480
was nearly forty years old, she began to come awake
211
00:12:54.519 --> 00:12:58.200
from her sleep of motherhood, her energy moved more outwards.
212
00:12:58.519 --> 00:13:01.519
The din of growing lives roused her from her apathy.
213
00:13:02.039 --> 00:13:05.480
She too must have her hand in making life. She
214
00:13:05.600 --> 00:13:08.480
was quite ready to move, taking all her brood. It
215
00:13:08.480 --> 00:13:11.440
would be better now if she transplanted them, for she
216
00:13:11.480 --> 00:13:14.399
had borne her last child. It would be growing up.
217
00:13:15.279 --> 00:13:18.960
So that, in her easy, unused fashion, she talked plans
218
00:13:18.960 --> 00:13:22.159
and arrangements with her husband, indifferent rarely as to the
219
00:13:22.200 --> 00:13:25.399
method of the change. Since a change was coming, even
220
00:13:25.440 --> 00:13:27.600
if it did not come this way, it would come
221
00:13:27.720 --> 00:13:32.639
in another. The house was full of ferment. Ursula was
222
00:13:32.720 --> 00:13:36.000
wild with excitement. At last, her father was going to
223
00:13:36.000 --> 00:13:39.519
be something socially. So long he had been a social
224
00:13:39.639 --> 00:13:43.320
cipher without form or standing. Now he was going to
225
00:13:43.399 --> 00:13:46.919
be art and handwork instructor for the County of Nottingham.
226
00:13:47.279 --> 00:13:50.519
That was rarely a status, it was a position. He
227
00:13:50.559 --> 00:13:53.080
would be a specialist in his way, and he was
228
00:13:53.120 --> 00:13:56.960
an uncommon man. Ursula felt that they were all getting
229
00:13:56.960 --> 00:13:59.960
a foothold. At last, he was coming to his own
230
00:14:00.440 --> 00:14:03.159
Who else that she knew, could turn out from his
231
00:14:03.440 --> 00:14:07.159
own fingers the beautiful things her father could produce. She
232
00:14:07.279 --> 00:14:11.039
felt he was certain of this new job, they would move.
233
00:14:11.519 --> 00:14:14.600
They would leave this cottage at Cossythae, which had grown
234
00:14:14.639 --> 00:14:17.600
too small for them. They would leave Cossythae, where the
235
00:14:17.720 --> 00:14:20.360
children had all been born and where they were always
236
00:14:20.440 --> 00:14:23.120
kept to the same measure, for the people who had
237
00:14:23.159 --> 00:14:26.200
known them as children, along with the other village boys
238
00:14:26.200 --> 00:14:29.759
and girls would never could never understand that they should
239
00:14:29.759 --> 00:14:34.000
grow up different. They had held Urtler Brangwin one of themselves,
240
00:14:34.360 --> 00:14:37.240
and had given her her place in the native village
241
00:14:37.440 --> 00:14:40.600
as in a family, and the bond was strong. But now,
242
00:14:40.759 --> 00:14:43.559
when she was growing to something beyond what Cossthae would
243
00:14:43.639 --> 00:14:47.080
allow or understand, the bond between her and her old
244
00:14:47.080 --> 00:14:52.080
associates was becoming a bondage ala ursula ah ye going on,
245
00:14:52.600 --> 00:14:55.120
they said. When they met her and had demanded of
246
00:14:55.159 --> 00:14:58.639
her in the old voice, the old response, and something
247
00:14:58.679 --> 00:15:01.679
in her must respond belonged to the people who knew her.
248
00:15:01.879 --> 00:15:05.159
But something else denied bitterly. What was true of her
249
00:15:05.240 --> 00:15:08.799
ten years ago was not true now. And something else,
250
00:15:09.120 --> 00:15:12.080
which she was and must be, they could neither see
251
00:15:12.159 --> 00:15:16.480
nor allow. They felt it. There nevertheless, something beyond them,
252
00:15:16.759 --> 00:15:19.960
and they were injured. They said, she was proud and
253
00:15:20.080 --> 00:15:23.480
conceited that she was too big for her shoes. Nowadays,
254
00:15:23.720 --> 00:15:27.039
they said she needn't pretend, because they knew what she was.
255
00:15:27.519 --> 00:15:30.480
They had known her since she was born. They quoted
256
00:15:30.519 --> 00:15:33.519
this and that about her, and she was ashamed because
257
00:15:33.559 --> 00:15:35.960
she did feel different from the people she had lived
258
00:15:35.960 --> 00:15:38.840
amongst It hurt her that she could not be at
259
00:15:38.879 --> 00:15:41.720
her ease with them any more. And yet, and yet,
260
00:15:41.799 --> 00:15:44.399
one's kite will rise on the wind as far as
261
00:15:44.440 --> 00:15:47.919
ever one has string to let it go. It tugs
262
00:15:47.960 --> 00:15:50.799
and tugs and will go, and one is glad the
263
00:15:50.840 --> 00:15:54.480
further it goes, even if everybody else is nasty about it.
264
00:15:54.960 --> 00:15:58.080
So cosstthe hampered her, and she wanted to go away
265
00:15:58.559 --> 00:16:01.200
to be free to fly her kite as high as
266
00:16:01.200 --> 00:16:03.639
she liked. She wants to go away to be free
267
00:16:03.720 --> 00:16:07.159
to stand straight up to her own height, so that
268
00:16:07.279 --> 00:16:09.919
when she knew that her father had the new post
269
00:16:10.000 --> 00:16:12.879
and that the family would move, she felt like skipping
270
00:16:12.919 --> 00:16:15.360
on the face of the earth and making psalms of joy.
271
00:16:15.559 --> 00:16:19.120
The old bound shell of Cossathae was to be cast off,
272
00:16:19.159 --> 00:16:21.440
and she was to dance away into the blue air.
273
00:16:21.799 --> 00:16:24.879
She wanted to dance and sing. She made dreams of
274
00:16:24.919 --> 00:16:27.600
the new place she would live in, where stately cultured
275
00:16:27.639 --> 00:16:30.200
people of high feeling would be friends with her, and
276
00:16:30.279 --> 00:16:32.759
she would live with the noble and the land, moving
277
00:16:32.799 --> 00:16:36.679
to a large freedom of feeling. She dreamed of a rich, proud,
278
00:16:36.799 --> 00:16:40.000
simple girlfriend who had never known mister Harby and his like,
279
00:16:40.240 --> 00:16:43.039
nor ever had a note in her voice of bondage,
280
00:16:43.080 --> 00:16:47.080
contempt and fear as Maggie had. And she gave herself
281
00:16:47.120 --> 00:16:50.080
to all that she loved in Kossathay passionately. Because she
282
00:16:50.159 --> 00:16:54.039
was going away now, she wandered about to her favorite spots.
283
00:16:54.399 --> 00:16:56.799
There was a place where she went trespossing to find
284
00:16:56.799 --> 00:16:59.960
the snowdrops that grew wild. It was evening in the winter, dark,
285
00:17:00.200 --> 00:17:02.559
and meadows were full of mystery when she came to
286
00:17:02.600 --> 00:17:05.160
the woods, an oak tree that had been newly chopped
287
00:17:05.200 --> 00:17:08.599
down in the dull, pale drops of flowers glimmered, many
288
00:17:08.680 --> 00:17:11.480
under the hazels, and by the sharp golden splinters of
289
00:17:11.480 --> 00:17:14.400
wood that were splashed about, and the gray green blades
290
00:17:14.440 --> 00:17:19.119
of snowdrop leaves pricked unheeding the drooping still little flowers
291
00:17:19.400 --> 00:17:24.039
were without heed. Ursula picked some lovingly in an ecstasy.
292
00:17:24.440 --> 00:17:28.079
The golden chips of wood shone yellow like sunlight. The
293
00:17:28.119 --> 00:17:31.799
snowdrops in the twilight were like the first stars of night,
294
00:17:31.920 --> 00:17:35.319
and she alone amongst them, was wildly happy to have
295
00:17:35.400 --> 00:17:38.519
found her way into such a glimmering dusk, to the
296
00:17:38.559 --> 00:17:41.519
intimate little flowers and the splash of wood chips like
297
00:17:41.599 --> 00:17:45.200
sunshine over the twilight of the ground. She sat down
298
00:17:45.359 --> 00:17:50.640
on the fell tree and remained a while remote. Going home,
299
00:17:51.079 --> 00:17:53.920
she left the purplish dark of the trees for the
300
00:17:53.960 --> 00:17:57.599
open lane, where the puddles shone long and jewel like
301
00:17:57.680 --> 00:18:01.400
in the ruts. The land about her was darkened, and
302
00:18:01.519 --> 00:18:05.480
the sky a jewel overhead. Oh, how amazing it was
303
00:18:05.519 --> 00:18:09.319
to her. It was almost too much. She wanted to
304
00:18:09.440 --> 00:18:14.079
run and sing and cry out for very wildness and poignancy.
305
00:18:14.640 --> 00:18:17.160
But she could not run and sing and cry out
306
00:18:17.279 --> 00:18:19.440
in such a way as to cry out the deep
307
00:18:19.519 --> 00:18:23.200
things in her heart. So she was still and almost
308
00:18:23.279 --> 00:18:28.440
sad with loneliness. End of Section forty four.
1
00:00:00.600 --> 00:00:04.960
Section forty four of The Rainbow. This is a LibriVox recording.
2
00:00:05.160 --> 00:00:08.400
All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more
3
00:00:08.400 --> 00:00:13.439
information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox dot org. Recording
4
00:00:13.519 --> 00:00:17.280
by A. Rowan Patagill. The Rainbow by D. H. Lawrence,
5
00:00:17.839 --> 00:00:25.359
Chapter fourteen, Part one, Chapter fourteen, The Widening Circle. Maggie's people,
6
00:00:25.519 --> 00:00:28.879
the Showfields, lived in the large gardener's cottage that was
7
00:00:28.920 --> 00:00:32.600
half a farm behind Belcote Hall. The hall was too
8
00:00:32.640 --> 00:00:35.960
damp to live in, so the Showfields were caretakers, gamekeepers,
9
00:00:36.159 --> 00:00:40.439
farmers all in one. The father was gamekeeper and stock breeder.
10
00:00:40.719 --> 00:00:44.520
The eldest son was market gardener using the Big Hall gardens.
11
00:00:44.920 --> 00:00:47.960
The second son was farmer and gardener. There was a
12
00:00:48.039 --> 00:00:52.000
large family as at Cosathay. Ursula loved to stay at
13
00:00:52.079 --> 00:00:55.880
Belcote to be treated as a grand lady by Maggie's brothers.
14
00:00:56.399 --> 00:00:59.399
They were good looking men. The eldest was twenty six
15
00:00:59.479 --> 00:01:03.600
years old. He was the gardener, a man not very tall,
16
00:01:03.920 --> 00:01:07.640
but strong and well made, with brown, sunny, easy eyes
17
00:01:07.680 --> 00:01:11.079
and a face handsomely hewn brown with a long, fair
18
00:01:11.159 --> 00:01:15.000
mustache which he pulled as he talked to Ursula. The
19
00:01:15.079 --> 00:01:17.959
girl was excited because these men attended to her when
20
00:01:17.959 --> 00:01:20.719
she came near. She could make their eyes light up
21
00:01:20.760 --> 00:01:23.799
and quiver. She could make Antony the eldest, twist and
22
00:01:23.879 --> 00:01:27.879
twist his mustache. She knew she could move them almost
23
00:01:27.879 --> 00:01:30.959
at will with her light, laughter and chatter. They loved
24
00:01:30.959 --> 00:01:34.599
her ideas, watched her as she talked vehemently about politics
25
00:01:34.680 --> 00:01:38.599
or economics, and she, while she talked, saw the golden
26
00:01:38.599 --> 00:01:41.280
brown eyes of Antony gleam like the eyes of a
27
00:01:41.359 --> 00:01:44.319
satyr as they watched her. He did not listen to
28
00:01:44.359 --> 00:01:48.920
her words. He listened to her. It excited her. He
29
00:01:49.040 --> 00:01:51.519
was like a fawn, pleased when she would go with
30
00:01:51.640 --> 00:01:54.120
him over his hot houses to look at the green
31
00:01:54.159 --> 00:01:58.560
and pretty plants, at the pink primulas nodding among their leaves,
32
00:01:58.599 --> 00:02:03.400
and sonarias flaunting purple and crimson and white. She asked
33
00:02:03.400 --> 00:02:06.519
about everything, and he told her very exactly and minutely,
34
00:02:06.599 --> 00:02:09.240
in a queer, pedantic way that made her want to laugh.
35
00:02:09.599 --> 00:02:12.080
Yet she was rarely interested in what he did, and
36
00:02:12.199 --> 00:02:14.759
he had the curious light in his face, like the
37
00:02:14.840 --> 00:02:17.120
light in the eyes of the goat that was tethered
38
00:02:17.159 --> 00:02:20.599
by the farmyard gate. She went down with him into
39
00:02:20.639 --> 00:02:23.400
the warmish cellar, where already in the darkness the little
40
00:02:23.479 --> 00:02:26.800
yellow knobs of rhubarb were coming. He held the lantern
41
00:02:26.879 --> 00:02:29.680
down to the dark earth. She saw the tiny knob
42
00:02:29.800 --> 00:02:33.759
end of the rhubarb thrusting upwards upon the thick red stem,
43
00:02:34.080 --> 00:02:37.520
thrusting itself like a knob of flame through the soft soil.
44
00:02:38.120 --> 00:02:40.759
His face was turned up to her. The light glittered
45
00:02:40.759 --> 00:02:42.919
on his eyes and his teeth as he laughed, a
46
00:02:42.960 --> 00:02:47.400
faint musical Nay, he looked handsome, And she heard a
47
00:02:47.439 --> 00:02:51.080
new sound in her ears, the faintly musical, neighing laugh
48
00:02:51.159 --> 00:02:54.159
of Antony, whose mustache twisted up, and whose eyes were
49
00:02:54.199 --> 00:02:58.639
luminous with the cold, steady, arrogant, laughing glare. There seemed
50
00:02:58.639 --> 00:03:01.639
a little prance of triumph in his movement. She could
51
00:03:01.639 --> 00:03:04.560
not rid herself of a movement of acquiescence, a touch
52
00:03:04.599 --> 00:03:08.479
of acceptance. Yet he was so humble, his voice was
53
00:03:08.520 --> 00:03:11.560
so caressing. He held his hand for her to step
54
00:03:11.639 --> 00:03:14.240
on when she must climb a wall, and she stepped
55
00:03:14.280 --> 00:03:17.400
on the living firmness of him that quivered firmly under
56
00:03:17.439 --> 00:03:20.240
her weight. She was aware of him as if in
57
00:03:20.280 --> 00:03:24.080
a mesmeric state. In her ordinary sense, she had nothing
58
00:03:24.080 --> 00:03:28.080
to do with him, but the peculiar ease and unnoticeableness
59
00:03:28.120 --> 00:03:31.120
of his entering the house. The power of his cold,
60
00:03:31.280 --> 00:03:33.719
gleaming light on her when he looked at her, was
61
00:03:33.919 --> 00:03:37.159
like a bewitchment. In his eyes, as in the pale
62
00:03:37.199 --> 00:03:40.319
gray eyes of a goat. There seemed some of that steady,
63
00:03:40.479 --> 00:03:43.360
hard fire of moonlight, which has nothing to do with
64
00:03:43.439 --> 00:03:46.360
the day. It made her alert, and yet her mind
65
00:03:46.439 --> 00:03:50.400
went out like an extinguished thing. She was all senses,
66
00:03:50.879 --> 00:03:54.960
all her senses were alive. Then she saw him on Sunday,
67
00:03:55.360 --> 00:03:58.319
dressed up in his Sunday clothes, trying to impress her,
68
00:03:58.599 --> 00:04:02.240
and he looked ridiculous. She clung to the ridiculous effect
69
00:04:02.439 --> 00:04:06.080
of his stiff Sunday clothes. She was always conscious of
70
00:04:06.120 --> 00:04:10.360
some unfaithfulness to Maggie. On Antony's score, poor Maggie stood apart,
71
00:04:10.439 --> 00:04:14.240
as if betrayed. Maggie and Antony were enemies by instinct.
72
00:04:14.319 --> 00:04:16.600
Ursula had to go back to her friend, brimming with
73
00:04:16.639 --> 00:04:20.160
affection and a poignancy of pity, which Maggie received with
74
00:04:20.199 --> 00:04:23.839
a little stiffness. Then poetry and books and learning took
75
00:04:23.839 --> 00:04:27.240
the place of Antony. With his goat's movements and his cold,
76
00:04:27.279 --> 00:04:31.600
gleaming humor. While Ursula was at bulcoat, the snow fell
77
00:04:31.800 --> 00:04:34.160
in the morning. A covering of snow weighed on the
78
00:04:34.199 --> 00:04:38.439
rhododendron bushes. Shall we go out, said Maggie. She had
79
00:04:38.439 --> 00:04:41.439
lost some of her leader's sureness and was now tensative
80
00:04:41.680 --> 00:04:44.639
a little in reserve from her friend. They took the
81
00:04:44.720 --> 00:04:47.360
key of the gate and wandered into the park. It
82
00:04:47.480 --> 00:04:50.040
was a white world on which dark trees and tree
83
00:04:50.079 --> 00:04:53.360
masses stood under a sky keen with frost. The two
84
00:04:53.399 --> 00:04:56.360
girls went past the hall that were shuttered and silent,
85
00:04:56.600 --> 00:04:59.560
their footprints marking the snow. On the drive down the
86
00:04:59.600 --> 00:05:02.560
park long way off, a man was carrying armfuls of
87
00:05:02.560 --> 00:05:05.360
hay across the snow. He was a small, dark figure,
88
00:05:05.480 --> 00:05:09.600
like an animal, moving in its unawareness. Ursula and Maggie
89
00:05:09.639 --> 00:05:12.560
went on exploring down a tinkling, chilly brook that had
90
00:05:12.560 --> 00:05:16.120
worn the snow away in little scoops and ran dark between.
91
00:05:16.439 --> 00:05:19.079
They saw a robin glance its bright eyes and burst
92
00:05:19.199 --> 00:05:22.360
scarlet and gray into the hedge. Then some pertly marked
93
00:05:22.360 --> 00:05:26.560
blue tits scuffled. Meanwhile, the brook slid on coldly, chuckling
94
00:05:26.720 --> 00:05:31.120
to itself. The girls wandered across the snowy grass to
95
00:05:31.120 --> 00:05:34.639
where the artificial fish ponds lay under thin ice. There
96
00:05:34.720 --> 00:05:37.519
was a big tree with a thick trunk twisted with ivy,
97
00:05:37.560 --> 00:05:41.720
that hung almost horizontal over the ponds. Ursula climbed joyfully
98
00:05:41.759 --> 00:05:44.519
into this and sat amidst bosses of bright ivy and
99
00:05:44.600 --> 00:05:48.319
dull berries. Some ivy leaves were like green spears, held
100
00:05:48.319 --> 00:05:51.800
out and tipped with snow. The ice was seen beneath them.
101
00:05:52.360 --> 00:05:55.240
Maggie took out a book, and, sitting lower down the trunk,
102
00:05:55.279 --> 00:05:59.920
began to read Coleridge's Crystabell. Ursula half listened. She was
103
00:06:00.120 --> 00:06:04.000
wildly thrilled. Then she saw Antony coming across the snow
104
00:06:04.160 --> 00:06:08.120
with his confident slightly strutting stride. His face looked brown
105
00:06:08.199 --> 00:06:11.079
and hard against the snow, smiling with a sort of
106
00:06:11.120 --> 00:06:15.759
tense confidence. Hallo, she called to him. A response went
107
00:06:15.800 --> 00:06:18.360
over his face. His head was lifted in an answering,
108
00:06:18.560 --> 00:06:22.759
jerking gesture. Hallo. He said, you're like a bird in there,
109
00:06:23.160 --> 00:06:26.680
and Ursula's laugh rang out. She answered to the peculiar
110
00:06:26.720 --> 00:06:30.279
reedy twang in his penetrating voice. She did not think
111
00:06:30.319 --> 00:06:32.639
of Antony yet she lived in a sort of connection
112
00:06:32.720 --> 00:06:35.639
with him in his world. One evening, she met him
113
00:06:35.720 --> 00:06:38.199
as she was coming down the lane, and they walked
114
00:06:38.240 --> 00:06:42.879
side by side. I think it's so lovely here, she cried,
115
00:06:43.839 --> 00:06:47.079
do you, he said, I'm glad you like it. There
116
00:06:47.160 --> 00:06:50.680
was a curious confidence in his voice. Oh, I love it.
117
00:06:51.040 --> 00:06:53.480
What more does one want than to live in this
118
00:06:53.680 --> 00:06:56.639
beautiful place and make things grow in your garden? It
119
00:06:56.720 --> 00:07:00.360
is like the Guardian of Eden, is it he? He said,
120
00:07:00.360 --> 00:07:03.839
with a little laugh. Yes, well, it's not so bad.
121
00:07:04.680 --> 00:07:08.160
He was hesitating. The pale gleam was strong in his eyes.
122
00:07:08.360 --> 00:07:11.279
He was looking at her, steadily, watching her as an
123
00:07:11.319 --> 00:07:15.000
animal might. Something leaped in her soul. She knew he
124
00:07:15.079 --> 00:07:17.240
was going to suggest to her that she should be
125
00:07:17.319 --> 00:07:20.519
as he was. Would you like to stay here with me,
126
00:07:21.240 --> 00:07:25.120
he asked tentatively. She blenched with fear, and with the
127
00:07:25.199 --> 00:07:30.160
intense sensation of proffered license, suggested to her. They had
128
00:07:30.199 --> 00:07:34.560
come to the gate, how, she asked, You aren't alone here?
129
00:07:35.879 --> 00:07:40.040
We could marry, he answered, in the strange, coldly gleaming,
130
00:07:40.079 --> 00:07:45.040
insinuating tone that chilled the sunshine into moonlight. All substantial
131
00:07:45.079 --> 00:07:49.480
things seemed transformed. Shadows and dancing moonlight were real. And
132
00:07:49.639 --> 00:07:56.399
all cold, inhuman, gleaming sensations. She realized, with something like terror,
133
00:07:56.720 --> 00:07:59.839
that she was going to accept this. She was going
134
00:07:59.839 --> 00:08:03.360
in inevitably to accept him. His hand was reaching out
135
00:08:03.439 --> 00:08:07.399
to the gate before them. She stood still. His flesh
136
00:08:07.560 --> 00:08:10.680
was hard and brown and final. She seemed to be
137
00:08:10.720 --> 00:08:15.319
in the grip of some insult. I couldn't, she answered, involuntarily.
138
00:08:16.560 --> 00:08:20.480
He gave the same brief, neighing, little laugh, very sad
139
00:08:20.560 --> 00:08:23.600
and bitter now, and slotted back the bar of the gate.
140
00:08:24.319 --> 00:08:27.639
Yet he did not open for a moment. They both
141
00:08:27.680 --> 00:08:30.720
stood looking at the fire of sunset that quivered among
142
00:08:30.759 --> 00:08:34.559
the purple twigs of the trees. She saw his brown, hard,
143
00:08:34.679 --> 00:08:39.080
well hewn face, gleaming with anger and humiliation and submission.
144
00:08:39.919 --> 00:08:42.559
He was an animal that knows that it is subdued.
145
00:08:43.360 --> 00:08:46.480
Her heart flamed with the sensation of him, of the
146
00:08:46.519 --> 00:08:50.200
fascinating thing that he offered her, and with sorrow, and
147
00:08:50.279 --> 00:08:54.440
with an inconsolable sense of loneliness. Her soul was an
148
00:08:54.480 --> 00:08:58.960
infant crying in the night. He had no soul, Oh,
149
00:08:58.960 --> 00:09:04.240
and why had she? He was the cleaner. She turned away.
150
00:09:04.720 --> 00:09:07.279
She turned round from him and saw the east flush.
151
00:09:07.399 --> 00:09:11.200
Strangely rose the moon coming yellow and lovely upon a
152
00:09:11.320 --> 00:09:17.159
rosy sky, above the darkening bluish snow. All this so beautiful,
153
00:09:17.720 --> 00:09:21.919
all this so lovely. He did not see it, he
154
00:09:22.120 --> 00:09:25.159
was one with it. But she saw it and was
155
00:09:25.200 --> 00:09:30.879
one with it. Her seeing separated them infinitely. They went
156
00:09:30.960 --> 00:09:34.320
on in silence down the path, following their different fates.
157
00:09:34.840 --> 00:09:39.120
The trees grew darker and darker, the snow made only
158
00:09:39.159 --> 00:09:42.960
a dimness in an unreal world, and like a shadow,
159
00:09:43.399 --> 00:09:46.840
the day had gone into a faintly luminous, snowy evening.
160
00:09:47.360 --> 00:09:50.240
While she was talking aimlessly to him to keep him
161
00:09:50.240 --> 00:09:53.480
at a distance, yet to keep him near her, and
162
00:09:53.600 --> 00:09:58.759
he walked heavily. He opened the garden gate for her quietly,
163
00:09:59.080 --> 00:10:02.519
and she was entering into her own pleasances, leaving him
164
00:10:02.559 --> 00:10:06.559
outside the gate. Then, even whilst she was escaping, or
165
00:10:06.559 --> 00:10:10.600
trying to escape, this feeling of pain came Maggie the
166
00:10:10.639 --> 00:10:14.360
next day, saying, I wouldn't make Antony love you, Ursula,
167
00:10:14.559 --> 00:10:18.840
if you don't want him, it is not nice. But Maggie,
168
00:10:19.080 --> 00:10:22.960
I never made him love me, cried Ursula, dismayed and suffering,
169
00:10:23.120 --> 00:10:26.120
and feeling as if she had done something base. She
170
00:10:26.399 --> 00:10:29.919
liked Antony, though all her life. At intervals she returned
171
00:10:29.960 --> 00:10:32.559
to the thought of him and of that which he offered.
172
00:10:33.360 --> 00:10:35.799
But she was a traveler. She was a traveler on
173
00:10:35.840 --> 00:10:38.480
the face of the earth, and he was an isolated
174
00:10:38.519 --> 00:10:42.480
creature living in the fulfillment of his own senses. She
175
00:10:42.559 --> 00:10:45.000
could not help it that she was a traveler. She
176
00:10:45.080 --> 00:10:49.279
knew antony that he was not one. But oh, ultimately
177
00:10:49.320 --> 00:10:52.360
and finally, she must go on and on, seeking the
178
00:10:52.559 --> 00:10:56.720
goal that she knew she did draw nearer to. She
179
00:10:56.879 --> 00:11:00.000
was wearing away her second and last cyclets and phillips.
180
00:11:00.360 --> 00:11:03.600
As the months went she ticked them off, first October,
181
00:11:03.879 --> 00:11:08.679
then November, December, January. She was careful always to subtract
182
00:11:08.720 --> 00:11:11.759
a month from the remainder for the summer holidays. She
183
00:11:11.840 --> 00:11:15.399
saw herself traveling round a circle, only the ark of
184
00:11:15.440 --> 00:11:19.159
which remained complete. Then she was in the open, like
185
00:11:19.200 --> 00:11:22.080
a bird tossed into mid air, a bird that had
186
00:11:22.200 --> 00:11:25.840
learned in some measure to fly. There was college ahead.
187
00:11:26.480 --> 00:11:31.519
That was her mid air, unknown, spacious, come college, and
188
00:11:31.679 --> 00:11:34.360
she would have broken from the confines of all the
189
00:11:34.440 --> 00:11:37.600
life she had known. For her father was also going
190
00:11:37.639 --> 00:11:42.080
to move. They were all going to leave Cossythay Brangwin
191
00:11:42.200 --> 00:11:46.200
had kept his carelessness about his circumstances. He knew his
192
00:11:46.360 --> 00:11:49.440
work in the lace designing meant little to him personally.
193
00:11:49.759 --> 00:11:52.600
He just earned his wage. Bite he did not know
194
00:11:52.840 --> 00:11:56.399
what meant much to him. Living close to Anna Brangwen,
195
00:11:56.720 --> 00:12:00.440
his mind was always suffused through with physical heat. He
196
00:12:00.519 --> 00:12:06.039
moved from instinct to instinct, groping, always groping on. When
197
00:12:06.039 --> 00:12:08.440
it was suggested to him that he might apply for
198
00:12:08.519 --> 00:12:12.080
one of the posts as hand work instructor posts about
199
00:12:12.080 --> 00:12:15.240
to be created by the Nottingham Education Committee, it was
200
00:12:15.279 --> 00:12:17.440
as if a space had been given to him in
201
00:12:17.480 --> 00:12:21.240
which he could remove from his hot, dusky enclosure. He
202
00:12:21.360 --> 00:12:25.399
sent in his application confidently, expectantly. He had a sort
203
00:12:25.440 --> 00:12:30.080
of belief in his supernatural fate. The inevitable weariness of
204
00:12:30.120 --> 00:12:33.039
his daily work had stiffened some of his muscles and
205
00:12:33.159 --> 00:12:37.000
made a slight deadness in his ruddy alert face. Now
206
00:12:37.120 --> 00:12:40.759
he might escape. He was full of new possibilities, and
207
00:12:40.840 --> 00:12:44.440
his wife was acquiescent. She was willing now to have
208
00:12:44.480 --> 00:12:48.320
a change. She too was tired of Coscathae. The house
209
00:12:48.480 --> 00:12:51.360
was too small for the growing children, and since she
210
00:12:51.480 --> 00:12:54.480
was nearly forty years old, she began to come awake
211
00:12:54.519 --> 00:12:58.200
from her sleep of motherhood, her energy moved more outwards.
212
00:12:58.519 --> 00:13:01.519
The din of growing lives roused her from her apathy.
213
00:13:02.039 --> 00:13:05.480
She too must have her hand in making life. She
214
00:13:05.600 --> 00:13:08.480
was quite ready to move, taking all her brood. It
215
00:13:08.480 --> 00:13:11.440
would be better now if she transplanted them, for she
216
00:13:11.480 --> 00:13:14.399
had borne her last child. It would be growing up.
217
00:13:15.279 --> 00:13:18.960
So that, in her easy, unused fashion, she talked plans
218
00:13:18.960 --> 00:13:22.159
and arrangements with her husband, indifferent rarely as to the
219
00:13:22.200 --> 00:13:25.399
method of the change. Since a change was coming, even
220
00:13:25.440 --> 00:13:27.600
if it did not come this way, it would come
221
00:13:27.720 --> 00:13:32.639
in another. The house was full of ferment. Ursula was
222
00:13:32.720 --> 00:13:36.000
wild with excitement. At last, her father was going to
223
00:13:36.000 --> 00:13:39.519
be something socially. So long he had been a social
224
00:13:39.639 --> 00:13:43.320
cipher without form or standing. Now he was going to
225
00:13:43.399 --> 00:13:46.919
be art and handwork instructor for the County of Nottingham.
226
00:13:47.279 --> 00:13:50.519
That was rarely a status, it was a position. He
227
00:13:50.559 --> 00:13:53.080
would be a specialist in his way, and he was
228
00:13:53.120 --> 00:13:56.960
an uncommon man. Ursula felt that they were all getting
229
00:13:56.960 --> 00:13:59.960
a foothold. At last, he was coming to his own
230
00:14:00.440 --> 00:14:03.159
Who else that she knew, could turn out from his
231
00:14:03.440 --> 00:14:07.159
own fingers the beautiful things her father could produce. She
232
00:14:07.279 --> 00:14:11.039
felt he was certain of this new job, they would move.
233
00:14:11.519 --> 00:14:14.600
They would leave this cottage at Cossythae, which had grown
234
00:14:14.639 --> 00:14:17.600
too small for them. They would leave Cossythae, where the
235
00:14:17.720 --> 00:14:20.360
children had all been born and where they were always
236
00:14:20.440 --> 00:14:23.120
kept to the same measure, for the people who had
237
00:14:23.159 --> 00:14:26.200
known them as children, along with the other village boys
238
00:14:26.200 --> 00:14:29.759
and girls would never could never understand that they should
239
00:14:29.759 --> 00:14:34.000
grow up different. They had held Urtler Brangwin one of themselves,
240
00:14:34.360 --> 00:14:37.240
and had given her her place in the native village
241
00:14:37.440 --> 00:14:40.600
as in a family, and the bond was strong. But now,
242
00:14:40.759 --> 00:14:43.559
when she was growing to something beyond what Cossthae would
243
00:14:43.639 --> 00:14:47.080
allow or understand, the bond between her and her old
244
00:14:47.080 --> 00:14:52.080
associates was becoming a bondage ala ursula ah ye going on,
245
00:14:52.600 --> 00:14:55.120
they said. When they met her and had demanded of
246
00:14:55.159 --> 00:14:58.639
her in the old voice, the old response, and something
247
00:14:58.679 --> 00:15:01.679
in her must respond belonged to the people who knew her.
248
00:15:01.879 --> 00:15:05.159
But something else denied bitterly. What was true of her
249
00:15:05.240 --> 00:15:08.799
ten years ago was not true now. And something else,
250
00:15:09.120 --> 00:15:12.080
which she was and must be, they could neither see
251
00:15:12.159 --> 00:15:16.480
nor allow. They felt it. There nevertheless, something beyond them,
252
00:15:16.759 --> 00:15:19.960
and they were injured. They said, she was proud and
253
00:15:20.080 --> 00:15:23.480
conceited that she was too big for her shoes. Nowadays,
254
00:15:23.720 --> 00:15:27.039
they said she needn't pretend, because they knew what she was.
255
00:15:27.519 --> 00:15:30.480
They had known her since she was born. They quoted
256
00:15:30.519 --> 00:15:33.519
this and that about her, and she was ashamed because
257
00:15:33.559 --> 00:15:35.960
she did feel different from the people she had lived
258
00:15:35.960 --> 00:15:38.840
amongst It hurt her that she could not be at
259
00:15:38.879 --> 00:15:41.720
her ease with them any more. And yet, and yet,
260
00:15:41.799 --> 00:15:44.399
one's kite will rise on the wind as far as
261
00:15:44.440 --> 00:15:47.919
ever one has string to let it go. It tugs
262
00:15:47.960 --> 00:15:50.799
and tugs and will go, and one is glad the
263
00:15:50.840 --> 00:15:54.480
further it goes, even if everybody else is nasty about it.
264
00:15:54.960 --> 00:15:58.080
So cosstthe hampered her, and she wanted to go away
265
00:15:58.559 --> 00:16:01.200
to be free to fly her kite as high as
266
00:16:01.200 --> 00:16:03.639
she liked. She wants to go away to be free
267
00:16:03.720 --> 00:16:07.159
to stand straight up to her own height, so that
268
00:16:07.279 --> 00:16:09.919
when she knew that her father had the new post
269
00:16:10.000 --> 00:16:12.879
and that the family would move, she felt like skipping
270
00:16:12.919 --> 00:16:15.360
on the face of the earth and making psalms of joy.
271
00:16:15.559 --> 00:16:19.120
The old bound shell of Cossathae was to be cast off,
272
00:16:19.159 --> 00:16:21.440
and she was to dance away into the blue air.
273
00:16:21.799 --> 00:16:24.879
She wanted to dance and sing. She made dreams of
274
00:16:24.919 --> 00:16:27.600
the new place she would live in, where stately cultured
275
00:16:27.639 --> 00:16:30.200
people of high feeling would be friends with her, and
276
00:16:30.279 --> 00:16:32.759
she would live with the noble and the land, moving
277
00:16:32.799 --> 00:16:36.679
to a large freedom of feeling. She dreamed of a rich, proud,
278
00:16:36.799 --> 00:16:40.000
simple girlfriend who had never known mister Harby and his like,
279
00:16:40.240 --> 00:16:43.039
nor ever had a note in her voice of bondage,
280
00:16:43.080 --> 00:16:47.080
contempt and fear as Maggie had. And she gave herself
281
00:16:47.120 --> 00:16:50.080
to all that she loved in Kossathay passionately. Because she
282
00:16:50.159 --> 00:16:54.039
was going away now, she wandered about to her favorite spots.
283
00:16:54.399 --> 00:16:56.799
There was a place where she went trespossing to find
284
00:16:56.799 --> 00:16:59.960
the snowdrops that grew wild. It was evening in the winter, dark,
285
00:17:00.200 --> 00:17:02.559
and meadows were full of mystery when she came to
286
00:17:02.600 --> 00:17:05.160
the woods, an oak tree that had been newly chopped
287
00:17:05.200 --> 00:17:08.599
down in the dull, pale drops of flowers glimmered, many
288
00:17:08.680 --> 00:17:11.480
under the hazels, and by the sharp golden splinters of
289
00:17:11.480 --> 00:17:14.400
wood that were splashed about, and the gray green blades
290
00:17:14.440 --> 00:17:19.119
of snowdrop leaves pricked unheeding the drooping still little flowers
291
00:17:19.400 --> 00:17:24.039
were without heed. Ursula picked some lovingly in an ecstasy.
292
00:17:24.440 --> 00:17:28.079
The golden chips of wood shone yellow like sunlight. The
293
00:17:28.119 --> 00:17:31.799
snowdrops in the twilight were like the first stars of night,
294
00:17:31.920 --> 00:17:35.319
and she alone amongst them, was wildly happy to have
295
00:17:35.400 --> 00:17:38.519
found her way into such a glimmering dusk, to the
296
00:17:38.559 --> 00:17:41.519
intimate little flowers and the splash of wood chips like
297
00:17:41.599 --> 00:17:45.200
sunshine over the twilight of the ground. She sat down
298
00:17:45.359 --> 00:17:50.640
on the fell tree and remained a while remote. Going home,
299
00:17:51.079 --> 00:17:53.920
she left the purplish dark of the trees for the
300
00:17:53.960 --> 00:17:57.599
open lane, where the puddles shone long and jewel like
301
00:17:57.680 --> 00:18:01.400
in the ruts. The land about her was darkened, and
302
00:18:01.519 --> 00:18:05.480
the sky a jewel overhead. Oh, how amazing it was
303
00:18:05.519 --> 00:18:09.319
to her. It was almost too much. She wanted to
304
00:18:09.440 --> 00:18:14.079
run and sing and cry out for very wildness and poignancy.
305
00:18:14.640 --> 00:18:17.160
But she could not run and sing and cry out
306
00:18:17.279 --> 00:18:19.440
in such a way as to cry out the deep
307
00:18:19.519 --> 00:18:23.200
things in her heart. So she was still and almost
308
00:18:23.279 --> 00:18:28.440
sad with loneliness. End of Section forty four.
