Phi Kelnhofer: Hiya, welcome to Philynnit. Books, besties, and everything else.
Lynn: Two moms, seven kids, way too many books.
Phi Kelnhofer: I'm Phi.
Lynn: And I'm Lynn.
Phi Kelnhofer: And we're feeling it.
Lynn: Today we are talking about our bookish icks. But before we get into
Phi Kelnhofer: Ha
Lynn: that, we're gonna have so much fun. But before we get into that, I need to tell you what I got up to this week. Okay, so
Phi Kelnhofer: Please do.
Lynn: I will, ready? So I didn't really get to read as much last week as I typically do because I spent,
Phi Kelnhofer: Me too.
Lynn: hmm, well, I don't know what you were doing, but I was spending approximately three days editing episode one.
Phi Kelnhofer: that's right.
Lynn: And Yeah. So I literally didn't listen to much of my audiobooks because I was just listening to us over and over and over
Phi Kelnhofer: Over and over.
Lynn: with like weird pauses, chops, like the thing that we use was trying to cut off all of our laughs. And I'm like, no.
Phi Kelnhofer: No, we need those.
Lynn: We like the laughs. We're here to laugh. and then the biggest travesty was When I lost the recording and the entire
Phi Kelnhofer: The entire thing gone.
Lynn: thing. And when I tell you the whole thing, it's like the source file, the edited file that I had spent days editing, all the clips that we can use for outtakes and you know, socials or whatever, gone. The whole thing gone. So I panicked. Obviously, I almost had a mental breakdown. Contacted
Phi Kelnhofer: Yes. Yeah, as one does.
Lynn: Riverside, as one does. I mean, if you spent 30 hours or whatever I spent. Girl, I can't. So
Phi Kelnhofer: So much time. Yeah.
Lynn: anyway, I reached out to Riverside. They were like, depending on how long it's been, we might be able to recover. And I was like, it's been 10 seconds. Like literally, I contacted
Phi Kelnhofer: Find it.
Lynn: you immediately. Like, I did not sit on this. So, and then the guy emailed me and was like, okay, what what approximate time did you delete it? I was like, honey child, I deleted it 10 seconds. before I emailed you. So that time. so anyway, I had to do that. and I think we're officially gonna get an editor to help us out because yeah. Yeah.
Phi Kelnhofer: We need to. I we both work and we have a bunch of kids. I have four kids.
Lynn: Seven.
Phi Kelnhofer: Lynn has three kids. Yeah. And it is it is a lot, especially right now. for those of you who are not parents, right now is like sports season. And so you are if your
Lynn: Mm-hmm.
Phi Kelnhofer: kids are in any kind of sport, you are like at a field
Lynn: Mm-hmm.
Phi Kelnhofer: multiple times a week and then on the weekends for games. Like it's it's a lot.
Lynn: 100%. So and that night I was actually on the way to the event that I told you about with the measure. it
Phi Kelnhofer: Yes, yes.
Lynn: was at this place called Gorgeous Glow here in Charlotte. They do like blowouts, spray tans, fun stuff like that. And we did the event.
Phi Kelnhofer: They had a book event.
Lynn: Well, they reached out to me because they wanted to have a book club. I know, I feel I know, I felt so fancy.
Phi Kelnhofer: Lin. Yeah they did.
Lynn: Like I was like, my god, me? so anyway, that was I was on my way there and all of this was happening. I was chatting with Riverside, emailing, losing my mind, and I was texting
Phi Kelnhofer: Texting me.
Lynn: you, calling you mental breakdown land. And so, but you know, obviously we're
Phi Kelnhofer: We're gonna get this work done. Yeah.
Lynn: gonna get it worked out. And obviously, I just turned that off and turned on the book club personality for the measure event.
Phi Kelnhofer: Perfect.
Lynn: It went great. we had around on like a
Phi Kelnhofer: good.
Lynn: Yeah, we had like a dozen people show up, which was amazing.
Phi Kelnhofer: That's a lot.
Lynn: I know, like they didn't have enough seating because we didn't think I mean, we made it work. We pulled over like salon chairs for people to sit in. It
Phi Kelnhofer: Ha ha.
Lynn: was hilarious. It was awesome.
Phi Kelnhofer: Love it.
Lynn: And then they had raffles. I raffled off an autographed copy of The Measure and Poppy Fields by Nikki same same author. She had actually sent
Phi Kelnhofer: But
Lynn: me that, which was so nice.
Phi Kelnhofer: Wow.
Lynn: I know. Pump up to Nikki Ehrlich. She's a queen. And the best part is I was like, y'all, this lady's so nice. She sent me the autograph book plates and they got lost in the mail or delivered to my neighbor. I don't know. They're gone. I had to reach back out to her and be like, hey, can you send this to me again? I'm so sorry. And she did. She was so nice. me too. Don't you yes,
Phi Kelnhofer: Yeah. That's amazing. I love when they're like involved in their books, you know.
Lynn: and don't you love when the authors are like five star people, you know? Yeah.
Phi Kelnhofer: Yes. my God. It like makes me love the book even more.
Lynn: so anyway, it was a huge success. you know, Shania, our friend Niy's
Phi Kelnhofer: Yeah. Yep.
Lynn: Endless Reads, N-I-Y-S Endless Reads on Instagram. she came and she won the raffle for the facial, which was valued at $300. Yeah, I was so jealous. I was like, wait, I didn't even get entered in the raffle. Unfair.
Phi Kelnhofer: What?
Lynn: Justice for Lynn. but then the best part was at the end, the owner was saying, we should do this again. What do you guys think about maybe doing February? And everyone was like, February? We thought you meant like next month, like we're coming back. So
Phi Kelnhofer: Yes, yes.
Lynn: now it well, then we were like, okay, well, what about December? And they're No, no, no, next month. So Now we're coming back in November.
Phi Kelnhofer: Okay.
Lynn: Yeah, we're going back in November. And now they want a thriller or psychological suspense. So I'm on that journey.
Phi Kelnhofer: Ooh. I'd I'd read a thriller
Lynn: and then the last thing is I started a buddy read for Japanese gothic, because you know it's like the fall and I'm trying to get spooky.
Phi Kelnhofer: Yes.
Lynn: It is so good. It's dual timeline.
Phi Kelnhofer: Ooh.
Lynn: Yeah, girl. We've got a samurai chick from 1877, and then we have this guy present day. Who is American but living in Japan and they're living in the same house, you know, a century
Phi Kelnhofer: Mm-hmm.
Lynn: and a half apart. but they have like a wall that they can see each other. So it's kind of time travely paranormal-ish, but it's really good. But what I will say is that the main character dad dates all these women, and they cook for him and help him with carpool. And I was like, okay, that is relatable. Like, As I sit in the carpool Lynn wanting to gouge my eyes out, I forgot to
Phi Kelnhofer: Yes.
Lynn: mention carpool Lynn when we were talking about how we read so much. And I'm like, sit in the carpool
Phi Kelnhofer: my god.
Lynn: line and you'll get lots of audiobook time. So what did you read this week?
Phi Kelnhofer: Okay, so I honestly do not think I have read this many bad books in a row in a long time. I finished four books and had one DNF. did not finish.
Lynn: my god, yeah.
Phi Kelnhofer: I just like I couldn't. So I got like 40%. I was like, no. and then just please keep in mind that I was like halfway through two or three of these books. So the first one was called Of Ink and Alchemy by Sloane St. James. And it's supposed to be a dark romance about a tattoo artist who falls for her longtime crush and mentor who is like obsessed with her, but doesn't make a move
Lynn: Okay.
Phi Kelnhofer: forever. so this MMC, his name is Logan, he gaslights this woman like you would not believe, Lynn. Let me give you some examples. So, first, so she has tried to like make out with him and like tell him her feelings, and he has just ignored them. And so she's like, Okay, he doesn't like me. I'm moving on. So she has a boyfriend who she's trying to get serious with. He takes the keys to the boyfriend's house, breaks
Lynn: What?
Phi Kelnhofer: Yes, breaks in and dumps out all of his condoms and so that it'll look like he's cheating on her and then puts a scrunchie in the car so that when she gets out of the car there's like a girl scrunchie. Of
Lynn: Right, of course.
Phi Kelnhofer: course. So she like breaks up with the guy, you know, comes back to the tattoo shop. Then he goes to another town and adopts a dog and And then ties it up in front of the tattoo studio. And then it's like, my God, somebody abandoned a dog in front of our studio.
Lynn: my god!
Phi Kelnhofer: And then he adopts the dog in front of her to make him seem like a good guy.
Lynn: my god, why are we glamorizing and romanticizing manipulation and my god, I mean, are men in real life not bad enough? I mean, not our men, obviously, our men are amazing. But
Phi Kelnhofer: Our men are amazing.
Lynn: my god, isn't the point of fictional
Phi Kelnhofer: Yes.
Lynn: men that they are amazing?
Phi Kelnhofer: Yeah, like how do you recover from that lying to her so bad? Where you're like fucking adopting a dog from like a town over. Like this is so this was wild and they still had it kissed and it was like close to 40%. And I was like, I I'm out. Like I just
Lynn: no. Yeah, I'm out. I'm mm mm.
Phi Kelnhofer: yes. okay, so then the next one was I so I did not finish that one. Then the next
Lynn: Good call.
Phi Kelnhofer: one was the doomsday one by Laura Piper Lee.
Lynn: Mm-hmm. The one about my mom. Yep.
Phi Kelnhofer: I so she's yeah, she's a she's a doomsday prepper, he's a nerdy professor, there's a pandemic, then a lockdown, there's zombies. Like I was like, ooh, fall zombies, like it'll be so cute. And I was like, they're on a road trip together, like what's gonna happen? my god, it was so fucking stupid. they kept making
Lynn: no.
Phi Kelnhofer: really bad decisions. I know. So I just and it was just lame. Like there was a bunch of storylines that were started, like her trauma with her mom. Like her mom was a prepper, but like they never Said why, like so stupid. So I finished it, but I wish I wouldn't have, and I rated it like three stars. Yeah, three.
Lynn: I was gonna say, would you rate it? Okay.
Phi Kelnhofer: the next one was I am so sad about this one. Lynn, heartbroken. Okay, so this next one I'm gonna t
Lynn: no, what happened?
Phi Kelnhofer: So I know this author can write really good books. So it is I read Mile High by Liz Tomford as part
Lynn: Mm-hmm.
Phi Kelnhofer: of the Windy City series. And I have read other books in this series, I think like all of them. And they were it's delicious. Delicious.
Lynn: Yeah. You told me Isaiah lives rent free in your head, so clearly she knows how to write in a main a male main character.
Phi Kelnhofer: Yeah, like it her
Lynn: Delicious.
Phi Kelnhofer: Her writing of males and relationships is beautiful. This one was just, it was so repetitive. Like she has body issues. He is a hockey player, but he puts on a media persona, but he's really a nice guy underneath. And it
Lynn: Mm-hmm.
Phi Kelnhofer: keeps repeating itself for the entire book. Okay?
Lynn: No thank you.
Phi Kelnhofer: We get it. Okay. I did like that he, the male mate character, had a really good friendship with another one of his hockey players and like would go over to that guy's house and that guy had kids and like they'd all hang out. And like I really like a good positive romance, you know.
Lynn: Yeah, me too.
Phi Kelnhofer: and then but I d I I wrote this quote down because we need to discuss.
Lynn: my gosh, I can't wait. I'm buckled up.
Phi Kelnhofer: Are you ready? Okay. Okay, this is very inappropriate. Her hands look minuscule around my dick. Her fingers barely closing around it. Like
Lynn: sir
Phi Kelnhofer: a tree trunk? Like what is happening?
Lynn: It's either that, like is he trying to be like, it's me, or is he like she has little elfin hands, like little mini
Phi Kelnhofer: Yeah.
Lynn: hands, like you know those little plastic Halloween hands? Do you know what I'm talking about?
Phi Kelnhofer: It has to be one or the other.
Lynn: I'm dad.
Phi Kelnhofer: Yeah, so I you're welcome. You are welcome.
Lynn: And see, this is why when I uploaded our podcast to all the hosting, I marked it as explicit. So you're
Phi Kelnhofer: Ha ha.
Lynn: welcome, everybody. Do not listen to this in front of your kids. Sorry for the late warning.
Phi Kelnhofer: Nope, this is not appropriate. and then the funniest thing is that the book was called Mile High Club, and the big joke in the book is that it's actually seven miles up when you're in the air. So it's miles ES high. And I'm like, why wouldn't
Lynn: Am I missing the joke?
Phi Kelnhofer: ES? It's supposed to be ES, miles high. Yeah.
Lynn: No, I get it, but like it's not funny. Like am I missing the joke?
Phi Kelnhofer: It's not funny, but she and they never joined the Miles High Club, by the way, but like she named the book Myel High Club and like didn't put the ES on it.
Lynn: Why?
Phi Kelnhofer: I that's a good question. Like
Lynn: Okay.
Phi Kelnhofer: she should have just put it ES because that's the whole joke. Like like they get in little arguments over he's like, let's join the Mile High Club and she's like, actually it's Miles But then like it doesn't roll over. And it had a third
Lynn: that's that's the banter? I'm dead.
Phi Kelnhofer: Yeah, yes, we all are. So and they had a third act breakup. Which I think is lazy. I understand why they do it. For romance novels, in order for it to be called a romance novel, it has to have like certain elements. One of the elements
Lynn: Mm-hmm.
Phi Kelnhofer: is like that it has an H E A, like a happily ever after, or an H F N, which is happy for now. There has to be some kind of conflict, etc. So I get it, like why she's doing a
Lynn: Mm.
Phi Kelnhofer: breakup, but like there's so much more you could do that I feel like the third act breakup is fucking lazy. Yeah.
Lynn: Yeah, I will say I feel like this is you've touched on why I don't really read romance because I don't like formula. Like I don't want to to know that it's gonna
Phi Kelnhofer: It yeah. Yes.
Lynn: be happily ever after. Like, kill the main character. I'm into it. Like
Phi Kelnhofer: Lynn gruesome.
Lynn: What? A little life is like one of my favorite books. And I'm like, people dying left and right. So I mean, I
Phi Kelnhofer: Yeah.
Lynn: don't know. I I it's not for me. I'm not yucking your yum. I think it's great that you love it. And I understand why people love romance. I'm definitely not yucking it. I'm just saying that's why I'm not as into it because I don't want a formula for my books. Like I don't
Phi Kelnhofer: Yes.
Lynn: like being like, I'm at sixty percent, they're gonna have a conflict. It's just I don't know.
Phi Kelnhofer: well, and that's it. Like, I don't think most people are as crazy as me and like did a lot of research into it. I did take a class at a university that had homework
Lynn: Well, you took like a class. Yeah. Yes, girl. I can't wait for you to drop a romance book. By the way, actually, I meant to say this before the event at the salon. Tracy Avery also came because she's a local author to me. And I sent you her book when in Dublin. And it's so
Phi Kelnhofer: God, it's on my t to be red, yes.
Lynn: good. Cause you I'm not a big romance person, but I would say it's more like women's fiction, but it has romance
Phi Kelnhofer: Okay.
Lynn: in it. but I actually got into this whole conversation with her on the side because before it came out, she was like, Hey, I know you're not a huge romance reader. This is what the ending is. I'm being told by this romance author that it has to be happier and all this. And I was like, girl, write the book you want to write. You know what I mean? And
Phi Kelnhofer: No right, yes.
Lynn: I'll just give you a little quick summary of it because it is really good. So basically it's this girl,
Phi Kelnhofer: Yes, please.
Lynn: Jess, who's like late 20s. She's a consultant. She works for one of those big firms and she works all the time. She's very type A. She bought a new house. she's very this is what I'm doing. but then she ends up getting a project that's based in Dublin and it's for a year, and she's never left the country. She's very stuck in her ways. And so she's like, Okay, I'm gonna do it because this is something I should do. And it's a way for her to get it's a path to promotion So she goes, she has to sell that house that she was all excited about. She sells the house. She moves to Dublin. Duh, there's like a hot Irish guy with slutty little green shorts. That's the that's a Lynn. Like I texted her and was like, girl, I love the slutty little green shorts. And she was like, my editor
Phi Kelnhofer: Yes.
Lynn: wanted me to cut it. And I was like, no, it's perfect. Keep. Yeah. It's really good.
Phi Kelnhofer: No, keep. my god, I have to read I have to put the yeah.
Lynn: I really loved it. So anyway, I meant to shout her out earlier because she came to the event as well. But I got distracted by Shania's three hundred dollar facial. Okay. So
Phi Kelnhofer: We all are distracted.
Lynn: we're distracted. So okay, go ahead. Sorry.
Phi Kelnhofer: Okay, no, no, no, you're good. so the next one is I like I'm blushing just even talking about this book. Okay, so it's it's
Lynn: Ooh, okay.
Phi Kelnhofer: Devil by Sierra Simone. I wanted to like it.
Lynn: These are the ones is this the ones you said was really dirty?
Phi Kelnhofer: It's so bad. It's like it's not good dirty. Like it's not good. Like
Lynn: no.
Phi Kelnhofer: I I'm all here for a spicy book. This one was just not it. Like, ugh, I didn't quite understand his obsession. I felt like I was missing something. And so I got it, thank God, for free on Libby. And like I would recommend not buying this book. But it had a very slow start and then it went from like zero to a million.
Lynn: Hmm.
Phi Kelnhofer: and like the sex scenes were not ever like completed. Like it would be like they mess around and then like oop, you know, turn the page and it's you know, them them going to breakfast or something. Like it never it was never like like choppy. No.
Lynn: so it's like a is it closed door or did it just seem choppy and unfinished?
Phi Kelnhofer: Choppy and unfinished. And so
Lynn: Weird. Okay.
Phi Kelnhofer: the MMC Ryan is like a giant dick, but he's like sweet in some moments and he's like obsessed with her. And they originally meet when she is his teacher at a religious college where he's a student.
Lynn: my god.
Phi Kelnhofer: And yes, and so it's like
Lynn: Yeah.
Phi Kelnhofer: I then they get caught like kissing and she has a morality clause, so she gets fired
Lynn: Mm-hmm.
Phi Kelnhofer: and he sees seven years later he sees like a life-size statue of Lucifer that Bertie sculpted with his face on it. so then he like tracks her down and says he's going to buy her for a year and then give her money for her sister for the rest of her life if he gets to buy her for a year. Just roll your eyes again. Like a person. It's so stupid.
Lynn: By her like a person? Like I own you?
Phi Kelnhofer: Yes, like like come to my house and then you're my like slave. Like it's so dumb. It is so dumb. And she's like in
Lynn: Okay. Do you remember last week when you told me that you're a green flag girl? This is like red flags like flashing red flags.
Phi Kelnhofer: That's why I was like, I can't. So then anyway, it's just and then she ends up finding out that he has been like, I don't know, surprise, surprise, keeping stuff from her, signing her name, like, you know, he was gonna end up taking care of her sister, who's a giant bitch anyway. And I'm like, why are you taking care of your sister? The whole thing is done, and So I I don't know if you know this. I went to a Jesuit college preparatory academy for high school. And so
Lynn: Of
Phi Kelnhofer: I am very well versed in the whole religious shame mindset. Okay. So this
Lynn: Yes, totally. I get that. Yeah.
Phi Kelnhofer: in this book, she was super religious and a virgin, of course. And
Lynn: Obviously.
Phi Kelnhofer: And they kept like putting in to sex scenes, any scene, religious commentary, like Bible verses or what someone said. Yes! And I was
Lynn: No
Phi Kelnhofer: like, this is wrong. This is awful. This is like, I do not need this.
Lynn: It's no, it's too much.
Phi Kelnhofer: So anyway, there's like an infamous cross scene in this book that everyone talks about. It is not hot at all. I'm just like, these people need so much therapy. Like, please go get help. So yes, I rated it a two.
Lynn: Please just get therapy. BetterHelp.com has not sponsored this podcast, but betterhelp.com. Yet, maybe
Phi Kelnhofer: Yet
Lynn: one day, with all you listeners. By the way, speaking of
Phi Kelnhofer: Okay.
Lynn: listeners, really quick, one of my friends, Brea, who is on Instagram as FMC underscore downloading. So, like female main character downloading, which is a cute name. But anyway, she said.
Phi Kelnhofer: Mm. Cute.
Lynn: She sent me a message and she goes, dude, listening to this, and she's like green flags. Meanwhile, I'm reading a demon smut book and he's two thousand years old. And then she goes, But when he sees a bruise on her at their first meeting, he goes to eliminate all the dudes in the nearby town. I mean, green flag behavior, honestly.
Phi Kelnhofer: Love it. Tell her to tell me the name of the book.
Lynn: Yeah, what's the title? yeah. Mm-hmm. Yeah.
Phi Kelnhofer: my god. Okay. And so then the n last one, he gets hit by a car, like bumped. And I was like, why didn't he get fully hit by this car? Okay.
Lynn: Yeah, just die. We're done.
Phi Kelnhofer: so they it's it's called The Stopover by TL Swan. And
Lynn: Mm-hmm.
Phi Kelnhofer: it's very spicy from the get-go. They like get s sat next to each other on an airplane. There's some weather situation, they have to stop. So there's a layover and of course they get together, but like he doesn't ask for her number, she doesn't ask for his. Fast forward a year, she gets a job at his company, and of course, surprise, he's the billionaire CEO.
Lynn: my god, I can't
Phi Kelnhofer: I yes, I can't either. So she she thinks that the way to go is to be a giant bitch to him. Like, my god. And
Lynn: for sure. Yeah.
Phi Kelnhofer: why? Because she's hurt that he didn't ask for her number way back when. okay, like we get it, fine. But then they mess around
Lynn: we gotta
Phi Kelnhofer: and she sees a girl's name on his phone. So she leaves in the middle of the night and then acts psycho to him.
Lynn: God
Phi Kelnhofer: And he's like
Lynn: See that's realistic.
Phi Kelnhofer: And he's like, okay, well, I'm gonna act psycho to you too. Yeah. So they like argue.
Lynn: No.
Phi Kelnhofer: It is so uncomfortable. Like, I don't wanna read this. So then they mess around again, okay?
Lynn: So toxic.
Phi Kelnhofer: So toxic. That's like literally my thought is like so toxic. And then he tells her,
Lynn: Break.
Phi Kelnhofer: Don't come. Okay, like hold your orgasm. Yeah, like
Lynn: Stop no
Phi Kelnhofer: I okay, we're gonna talk about icks in a second. Like, is that even fucking possible? So he tells her.
Lynn: Thirty minutes deep and we haven't even gotten our icks yet.
Phi Kelnhofer: So she t so he tells her this and then he fucking comes and then she looks in his eyes and he's like, Don't look at me like that. Don't fall in love with me. I would fucking murder.
Lynn: Ew get over yourself Get over yourself. I cannot. No thank you.
Phi Kelnhofer: Right, okay, so then of course he develops these insane feelings all of a sudden.
Lynn: Uh-huh, yeah, cool.
Phi Kelnhofer: And then he breaks up with her because he cares too much.
Lynn: my god, I can't with that. They did that in atmosphere. I was like the only fight. It was so saccharin because the only fight they had was I love you too much to let you be with me. Like, shut up. Get out of here. Like,
Phi Kelnhofer: Yes. It's like shut up. Like yes. But yeah, like it's it's crazy. So anyway, then they fight and they're arguing and he gives her an ultimatum.
Lynn: Great. Keep being toxic.
Phi Kelnhofer: So there's
Lynn: Don't change.
Phi Kelnhofer: Yes. So I gave it a two. I should have given it like a one. I
Lynn: Wow.
Phi Kelnhofer: was just so mad. and there's multiple books in this series and everyone's going nuts about it right now on Instagram. And I'm like, how? Like are we reading the same book? So
Lynn: Well, maybe they'll at us in the comments and be like, You guys are so mean.
Phi Kelnhofer: I I hope not because like I hope I'm saving someone time because w maybe
Lynn: Yes. No, you are.
Phi Kelnhofer: next we'll read or we'll recommend some really great books because these are just awful. this we that's a good transition, Lynn
Lynn: Yeah. But but this week is about our icks, so it it's gonna be more icky. Yeah. Go ahead, tell me your ick.
Phi Kelnhofer: Yes. Do you Okay, so I'm gonna start with one.
Lynn: my god, yes. I can't wait. By the way, can we tell the listeners we have
Phi Kelnhofer: okay.
Lynn: not previously shared these with each other? So this is going to be a live reaction to each of our icks. Okay, go ahead.
Phi Kelnhofer: Okay, so the first one, okay, so I hope that my wonderful husband Nick is not listening to this episode. This doesn't have to do with him, but I would turn it off. So we were Nick and Sonia, this one's not for you. So okay,
Lynn: Turn it off, Nick. And probably Sonia as well. Mother in law, cover your ears. Just shh.
Phi Kelnhofer: I he was asking me like what the next episode was because he listened to our first episode and he really liked it. He was like really engaged and he's like, so what's the next
Lynn: I love it.
Phi Kelnhofer: one? So I was like, actually it's about icks and so I pulled up my notes and I started reading some and he laughed and he's like, Phi, what are you reading? So okay, so my first one is the Lynn, he unzips his pants and his erection springs free.
Lynn: my god, I love when they say that. Like it's a caged animal and it has to get out. It's like George,
Phi Kelnhofer: Yeah, like sir.
Lynn: the squirrel in Matt's office. It's just the squirrel is here. Truly. What do you mean it's springs?
Phi Kelnhofer: How tight are your pants? Yes. So so Nick kind of laughed and he was like, well, Phi, that's like, that wouldn't really happen unless he's pushing it down that way. Like normally it would go up into your, you know, waist pants.
Lynn: my god. Does does he know we read fiction?
Phi Kelnhofer: my God, so I'm dying. So he weighed in and then he was like, I'm good. I don't need to hear any more
Lynn: He's like, I got it. I'm all set.
Phi Kelnhofer: Yeah. He's like, you and Lynn can talk. He did say about our first podcast. He was like, it was really cute. It's like you guys it's like I was listening to you guys on speakerphone.
Lynn: That is, it's like listening to us talk to each other. I know, we're so cute.
Phi Kelnhofer: Right? It's like very soothing. Like I'll yeah, I'll go back and listen to it again 'cause it's just great.
Lynn: Me too, because I feel like I'm just listening to my bestie. speaking of us talking, we actually already talked about this ick because we were buddy reading Direbound together. my
Phi Kelnhofer: Yes.
Lynn: god, love direbound. You know, I I'm not gonna do a whole description, but it's a fantasy
Phi Kelnhofer: Direbound was amazing. Yes.
Lynn: and she has to go save her sister. She has to bond with a wolf. It's basically fourth wing, but with
Phi Kelnhofer: Like, yeah.
Lynn: Dogs I mean sorry, wolves instead of dragons. Okay, like it's stupid. I mean it's stupid, but we loved it. I mean we were like we did.
Phi Kelnhofer: Yes. Good good description. We did and we like buddy read it. So it was like so we were reading it at the same time and like texting each other, like, my god, did you read this? Did you read this? Like, yeah. Yes.
Lynn: Yeah. Are you on so the ick from that book though was Killian calling her kitten, which is just so gross. Like he's like, kitten,
Phi Kelnhofer: It was disgusting.
Lynn: yeah, kitten, come here. I'm like, ew, stop. But I will say, Killian could get down. Like Killya
Phi Kelnhofer: Yes.
Lynn: and Woo Legit.
Phi Kelnhofer: He di he did and he it was unexpected because I was like, he's like not the good guy from the get go. And right. Cannot be.
Lynn: Well, you know he's not the main man because he's blonde. So there it's if he's blonde, he ain't it. This is like a Dane Atos situation, right? Which is fourth, fourth wing.
Phi Kelnhofer: Exactly. Yes.
Lynn: So obviously that was gonna be the case, but I have another one that's even funnier. So I
Phi Kelnhofer: please.
Lynn: posted a story on Lynn's literary adventures and said, Can people send me their icks for our episode? And my friend Christa told me that she was reading one where he calls her Caterpillar.
Phi Kelnhofer: What?
Lynn: Girl, what? Ooh, like, I don't get it. Like, is it meant to be like, ooh, you're gonna be a butterfly?
Phi Kelnhofer: Ew I ew e I don't get it. Like why? 'Cause like is she gonna transform?
Lynn: I think that has to be it because otherwise, all I'm picturing is like one of the woolly caterpillars, like the fuzzy ones.
Phi Kelnhofer: Okay. It's like a fuzzy me too.
Lynn: I'm like, is she fuzzy?
Phi Kelnhofer: Yeah.
Lynn: and then she just kept she continued. so, but then she was like, anytime they put little in front of something, like little dove, little kitten, I'm like, stop it. Just stop. And then
Phi Kelnhofer: I don't know if I hate that. Like I d I don't
Lynn: You don't? See, I kinda do.
Phi Kelnhofer: ha I don't hate like it that doesn't bother me as much as a kitten. my god, too funny.
Lynn: Anyway, so those were some of the funny reactions that I got when I asked for ICX, using kitten as kind of our go by.
Phi Kelnhofer: So, one of mine, speaking of talking, is like degrading sex talk. Like when he calls
Lynn: Yeah
Phi Kelnhofer: her like a slut or a whore, it drives me crazy. Like, I'm
Lynn: Yeah.
Phi Kelnhofer: sorry, sir. You're probably way more sexually into it than she's ever been.
Lynn: Mm-hmm.
Phi Kelnhofer: Why are you slut shaming? Like, just stop. Yeah.
Lynn: Don't slut shame. Also, when you tell me that, I'm picturing that he then slaps her across the face.
Phi Kelnhofer: Like god, I would kill. I would kill. It's yeah, it Okay.
Lynn: Yeah. It would be justifiable homicide. Just ask the lawyer.
Phi Kelnhofer: Then I don't even know how to talk about this one, Lynn. So I was reading this book called In Stormy Weather, which is
Lynn: Ooh, I've heard of this one.
Phi Kelnhofer: yes, it is everywhere. And
Lynn: Yeah.
Phi Kelnhofer: her other books are amazing.
Lynn: Who's the author?
Phi Kelnhofer: Chelsea Curto and this book was so bad. Like my entire book club, we were texting each other the entire time reading while we were reading it, like saying how much we hated it and like hated different scenes. And I again was like, I yeah. Yeah,
Lynn: That's the best though. I'm kind of into that. When everyone hates it, it's kind of fun.
Phi Kelnhofer: like the whole book club. It wasn't just me, you guys, it was five other women. And so there's this intimate scene where he like presses on her stomach. And I immediately texted Julin. And I was like, if he presses on my stomach, I will hurt him.
Lynn: I remember this text, you were like, Is this a thing? And I was like, I've never heard of this in my life.
Phi Kelnhofer: Like I was like, why, why would someone ever press on my stomach? Like, I am so bothered. This is an immediate ick.
Lynn: I can't even visualize it.
Phi Kelnhofer: I like, yeah, it was so stupid. So we were again, my poor husband. So I was telling him about this, like how enraged I was. And we were like standing in the kitchen or whatever, and he like comes up and presses my stomach. And you guys, it was the fucking hottest thing in the world.
Lynn: See, Nick is such a green flag. He's like, my God, you
Phi Kelnhofer: Yeah.
Lynn: read something and you don't understand why it's hot. Enter Nick. I'm here to explain it to you and show you.
Phi Kelnhofer: And I was like, I like I texted back Lynn and I was like, I retract my
Lynn: Mm.
Phi Kelnhofer: entire complaint. Turns out this is a thing, like, go try it.
Lynn: Turns out, yeah. You were like, I retract my former statement. Uh-huh. Yeah.
Phi Kelnhofer: Yeah, not an egg.
Lynn: Okay. Well, that's good. I like when an ick turns out to be a yum. That's kind of good.
Phi Kelnhofer: Yes.
Lynn: Speaking of that, I got a bunch of responses about good girl. like when
Phi Kelnhofer: Ooh.
Lynn: he calls you good girl. Like, I d I died when somebody me too!
Phi Kelnhofer: I love it. Love it.
Lynn: Someone said multiple people sent me good girl and my response was okay, well, more for the rest of us.
Phi Kelnhofer: What?
Lynn: More for the rest of us. If you don't like it, we're here for it. It's fine. but yeah, but I will tell you, this is my plan. If we end up getting, you know, more than, you know, five listeners of the podcast and start a Patreon, I'm gonna tell you one of the tiers is 1000% gonna be called good girls. It's gonna be the good girls. Like maybe like the five level will be like the good girls. so
Phi Kelnhofer: my
Lynn: stay tuned, keep listening, tell your friends, and then maybe one day you can be a good girl. And we'll be like,
Phi Kelnhofer: Right? Yes.
Lynn: good girl.
Phi Kelnhofer: My god, I love it.
Lynn: Okay, I know. I just thought of that last night and I was like, what if we had a Patreon tier called The Good Girls?
Phi Kelnhofer: my god. that is too funny.
Lynn: with like bonus episodes. So okay, keep going. okay, I do want to say one last thing before we move on.
Phi Kelnhofer: Please do.
Lynn: I want to revisit the angel wing discussion because I have been thinking
Phi Kelnhofer: Please do.
Lynn: about it nonstop. Why am I
Phi Kelnhofer: So have we.
Lynn: so impacted by these these angel wings? So here's the thing. Okay, so bat wings, they f they kind of like fold in. Like they can fold in. So when they're walking, they're not just like out. You know, they they're folded in. Angel wings don't seem to
Phi Kelnhofer: How do you know this?
Lynn: have that I don't know, that's how it works in my brain.
Phi Kelnhofer: Yeah.
Lynn: They seem folded. I don't know. Like they're not
Phi Kelnhofer: Okay.
Lynn: just out all the time. Well then and also Resand can get rid of his. He he's magical and he can just like get rid of the wings. Resand
Phi Kelnhofer: Yes. I mean he can do anything. Yes.
Lynn: is The most handsome High Lord. Anyway, so but angel wings, like as I was saying, they're like flared out, they're big. Like I'm just imagining him walking down the street and like banging into people, right? Just like
Phi Kelnhofer: You guys, I'm like I've got like a little I've got a little screen over here and I can like see Lynn and I
Lynn: Ha ha ha
Phi Kelnhofer: think I just died. Like she's like over here flapping her arms. these angel wings.
Lynn: So there's that. Okay, I'm not done. And then the other thing I think of, first of all, I remember being a child and like picking up feathers and people being like, ooh, gross, there's so many germs on feathers, diseases,
Phi Kelnhofer: So many.
Lynn: do not touch it. So I'm already kind of grossed out by wings generally. And then I
Phi Kelnhofer: Yes.
Lynn: think what I'm really thrown by is the Dawn commercial with the duck.
Phi Kelnhofer: Well
Lynn: If you there's not a person on this earth that probably doesn't know what I'm talking about, but like the
Phi Kelnhofer: With that. Right.
Lynn: duck is all covered in like grease or whatever, and Dawn is the way to get it off. And I saw this hysterical GIF or meme or what it's a mi it was a meme because it was not mobile. And it was like, Dawn, look at how great we can clean this duck. And then it's like me, okay, but can it wash my dishes? And then it's like, Dawn,
Phi Kelnhofer: Mm.
Lynn: again, do you see the duck? Something like that. I'll post it on Instagram.
Phi Kelnhofer: Please do this is hilarious.
Lynn: And I was like, this is literally what bothers me about this is I'm just like, do I need to go into the who, it not me, but Bryce. Does she need to go into the shower with Hunt with some Dawn to wash his wings when he gets all
Phi Kelnhofer: Yes.
Lynn: the demon blood, which is not regular blood, on his wings? And then my friend Brea, who I mentioned earlier, she was like, I just don't think the blood gets on the wings. And I was like, What you mean like wings
Phi Kelnhofer: Why wouldn't
Lynn: No, I you it's like immune from blood spatter? I don't understand what's going on here. So I love that we're all thinking about this. These are the important topics in literature. so
Phi Kelnhofer: You know, I I don't know if you know this, but I absolutely hate birds. Okay. And
Lynn: me too. Remember on my bachelorette party there were all those birds flying around and we were all like, Get these out of here.
Phi Kelnhofer: We're like, what is happening?
Lynn: Freaking hate birds. By the way, some
Phi Kelnhofer: my god.
Lynn: one of our listeners asked you how we met. So we're gonna have to dive into that maybe next week before we do mob romance.
Phi Kelnhofer: That's funny. I my God, I can't wait to tell that story because Lynn, it just like makes me smile every time.
Lynn: I love it. So let's transition into the current happenings, which is that Goodreads was clearly listening to our podcast bec
Phi Kelnhofer: Clearly.
Lynn: because we shit on them for not having half stars. And then they have the freaking audacity
Phi Kelnhofer: He
Lynn: to announce half stars like two days before we go live. And here's what I'll say about it is I think it's obnoxious. Like honestly, fuck Goodreads. Because people have been complaining about this for years. And then now years.
Phi Kelnhofer: Years. It took our podcast. It took our podcast, Land.
Lynn: Correct. It took our pod. Thank you, Phi. Yes. But like the announcement that they are acting like they are such geniuses. Like they have an Instagram
Phi Kelnhofer: Right.
Lynn: post that's like, for every book you wanted to rate an extra half star. Your number one requested feature is here with the like celebration emoji. And I'm like, okay,
Phi Kelnhofer: Yes.
Lynn: do you remember last year when y'all like changed your logo and we were all like, no one asked for this? We asked for half stars.
Phi Kelnhofer: For this, yes. Yes.
Lynn: So for it's just they just act like they're doing us a huge favor. So I find that annoying. But I do wanna tell you, Story Graph that we talked about last week has just announced they added private shelves. So I think they are listening to us too, because you need that for some of your dirty
Phi Kelnhofer: my god. I need this. Yes.
Lynn: stuff. You know what I mean?
Phi Kelnhofer: No one needs to know what I'm reading except the podcast.
Lynn: Except everyone who's listening, all the good girls.
Phi Kelnhofer: That's so perfect. the other the other thing that's happening globally right now in like the book world is that Verity, so Verity was a book by
Lynn: Mm.
Phi Kelnhofer: Colleen Hoover and it just came out as a movie, and it is getting trashed online. And like I have some things to say about it. Like I thought the book
Lynn: Yeah, I saw that. Ooh, tell me. Mm-hmm.
Phi Kelnhofer: was fine. It was entertaining. It was twisty. It you know, a little bit of spice. I wanted to know what happened. Do I
Lynn: Mm-hmm.
Phi Kelnhofer: think Colleen Hoover is the greatest writer of our generation? Not really. But yes.
Lynn: Obviously. That's like Freedom McFadden. It's kind of the same level, I think. Yeah.
Phi Kelnhofer: Yes. Like they're incredi her books are like really readable. I will say that.
Lynn: Yeah, popcorn vibes.
Phi Kelnhofer: Yes. I just wonder if the massive popularity is because it's like a regular book but then there's a little spice in it. So people are like, ooh,
Lynn: Mm-hmm.
Phi Kelnhofer: I didn't know there could be spice in the books. So
Lynn: Mm-hmm.
Phi Kelnhofer: I feel like she does a great, you know, job of that. after yes, yes.
Lynn: Yeah. It was a page turner, I will tell you. It was a page turner.
Phi Kelnhofer: but like after everything that happened with It Ends With Us, I do feel a little bad
Lynn: my god.
Phi Kelnhofer: for Colleen Hoover. And now her other
Lynn: She can't catch a break, man.
Phi Kelnhofer: movie is getting trashed. Like, my god, I would be like, please
Lynn: I mean
Phi Kelnhofer: stop making my books into movies.
Lynn: Just stop. I mean, here's the thing. I feel bad for her because, you know, her work seems to be getting trashed in the media. But I'm also like,
Phi Kelnhofer: Crashed. Yes.
Lynn: Okay, but what's your net worth? Like how bad do I feel for you? I don't know. Your books are popular and
Phi Kelnhofer: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, true, true.
Lynn: you're she probably doesn't give a shit. So I don't know.
Phi Kelnhofer: Yeah. I mean I gave Verity like four stars. I didn't think it needed to be a movie, but
Lynn: No, it doesn't need to be a movie.
Phi Kelnhofer: it I did not think it needed to be a movie. And I love Dakota Johnson and I'm so sad that like apparently her acting is horrendous in it. I saw a thing where it was like the best part of the movie was Anne Hathaway. And she's having a moment, like in her forties, pregnant, like acting again, like go her. Yeah.
Lynn: Mm. She is having a moment. Whew. She looks amazing.
Phi Kelnhofer: What did you think of Verity?
Lynn: I liked it. It was a page turner. I think I I don't remember what I rated it 'cause I read it years ago. but I I liked it. Maybe you can tell me what I rated it since you have my download history on Goodreads.
Phi Kelnhofer: Okay, you guys, I like I'm a dork to the max, like not just regular level dork. So I texted Lynn.
Lynn: We love it.
Phi Kelnhofer: I know, I texted Lynn and was like, hey girl, like you can tell what your reading history from Goodreads. Please do that this weekend. And then I sent her a follow-up text message and I was like, hey girl, can you please send it? Get on it. So then
Lynn: Yeah, get on it. And before you go into what you did with that data, let me just once again pump up like it's nice that Goodreads does that. That's a good thing
Phi Kelnhofer: Yes.
Lynn: about Goodreads. And you can actually export your data and you can import it into Story Graphs. So if you are interested in not giving Jeff Bezos your attention, there you go. Okay, sorry, your turn.
Phi Kelnhofer: Yeah. Yes. And and I need to like it's it's on my fucking to do list, but to like look into Story Graph and I heard that you can like import your data from Goodreads
Lynn: Mm-hmm.
Phi Kelnhofer: into Story Graph. So like if you can do that and you can do these half stars and these private whatever collections, like I'm all for
Lynn: Well, the other thing I'll tell you
Phi Kelnhofer: it.
Lynn: because you're like, hi, I'm a dork, is the analytics on Story Graph are much better. It's really, really
Phi Kelnhofer: Ooh.
Lynn: good analytics.
Phi Kelnhofer: Do you know that I have a whole spreadsheet of my books that I started tagging? Like when I'm done reading, I like tag what they are, it like how I liked them,
Lynn: my god.
Phi Kelnhofer: if there's a playlist with it.
Lynn: A playlist.
Phi Kelnhofer: Girl. I was gonna talk about this on some episode, but I'll just quickly mention it. In Spotify, what I do is like Kindle Unlimited, mostly books, those are the ones where I go in Spotify and type in the title, and it normally has an amazing playlist. I don't know, some yes. No, no, no. Nobody has time for that. But like
Lynn: Like a pre-made playlist. Like you're not making the playlist. okay. Okay. No, I know what you're talking about. I did that for 112263 by Stephen King. He had a playlist in at the back of the book. Yeah.
Phi Kelnhofer: It's incredible. It's incredible. It is like it like my reading enjoyment just like goes through the roof. I love it. I love a good play. Yes. So
Lynn: Yeah, I love that. What a tip. Okay.
Phi Kelnhofer: playlists.
Lynn: Okay. So what did you do with this download history from Goodreads?
Phi Kelnhofer: So I compared our books to see like which ones did Phi rate high, which ones did Lynn rate low, which ones did Lynn rate high and Phi low. Like so I did stuff like that. And so we are going to I'm gonna surprise Lynn and she's gonna love it. And we're gonna talk
Lynn: my god Like right now?
Phi Kelnhofer: about do you wanna do one?
Lynn: Yeah.
Phi Kelnhofer: Okay, so the one I'm gonna do today is called The Drowning Woman by Robin Harding. And Lynn gave it a five and I gave it a two. Okay, so this is a thriller where Lee's restaurant has failed. She's broke. She's living in her car.
Lynn: Mm-hmm.
Phi Kelnhofer: And one morning she sees this woman, Hazel, walk into the ocean. She saves
Lynn: Mm-hmm.
Phi Kelnhofer: her only to find out that Hazel is in a horrible marriage and apparently didn't want to be saved. They become friends. Lee a or Hazel asks Lee to help her disappear, and obviously it's a thriller.
Lynn: Mm.
Phi Kelnhofer: Nothing is actually what it seems. So I will say that the first big twist in the book genuinely surprised me. Like, my God. Wow.
Lynn: Yeah, I thought that was really good.
Phi Kelnhofer: So good. But from there it went downhill. And after all, after
Lynn: I liked Okay, keep going.
Phi Kelnhofer: all, it was just like the ending, the woman has to start over and the husband, he's fine.
Lynn: Yeah, see
Phi Kelnhofer: And that maybe
Lynn: I don't care about that. Like I know some people are like, but I want him to just like go down and burn and I'm just like, whatever, who cares? She's happy.
Phi Kelnhofer: Something. He's fine. And like she had to struggle bus it. Like.
Lynn: Yeah. That whole scene at the spa was so stressful. Mm-hmm.
Phi Kelnhofer: yes. Yes. A agreed. Agreed. So it was fine. so Lin yeah, any comments? Any
Lynn: I think part of it is that I don't read as many thrillers. And so if I enjoy it, I tend to give it a good reading. I
Phi Kelnhofer: Okay.
Lynn: also will say I'm a five-star hoe. So I give out way too many five-stars. I mean, I don't think you are. I think you're very like critical. so that's but that's good
Phi Kelnhofer: That's amazing. So generous. No. I am crazy.
Lynn: because we balance each other out. And also in my defense, this was before Goodreads decided to be assholes and give us half stars that we've been asking for for years. So I probably would have been closer to like 4.25 or 44.5. It wasn't like an actual five star, but regardless, I always round up because I just feel bad for authors. I feel like they work so hard on their life work. And I I don't know. Like if I enjoy it, I'll give it five stars. So but I also have what I
Phi Kelnhofer: Yeah. I I got that.
Lynn: like to call six star reads that are like best books I've ever read. You know what I mean? That just like break the scale.
Phi Kelnhofer: That's see, yeah, like if I like my one of my criteria I have like a whole rating system, which maybe we can go over one of these
Lynn: Ooh, so maybe we'll do a whole episode on that.
Phi Kelnhofer: Yeah, like how we rate books. so I have like a whole system and one of the criteria for a five star review is that I wanna read it again. And that
Lynn: see, I like never reread books, so
Phi Kelnhofer: I barely I that's why I give so few five stars. But no, I god, I can't wait till next week when we talk about mafia because one of
Lynn: my god, the mob I can't believe you gave a mafia romance five stars and you're sitting here shaming me for doing it for the Drowning Woman.
Phi Kelnhofer: Cannot believe it either. Who am I? What like what is happening? This is not me.
Lynn: I can't.
Phi Kelnhofer: And it's not even good. It's I mean it's great, but it's it's really not even good. And like
Lynn: It's not like literature.
Phi Kelnhofer: no it's not. And the but the plot is so fucking engaging. Like you will be
Lynn: okay.
Phi Kelnhofer: at like the edge of your seat and like you know when you read a book and you're like, I wish I knew what would happen next. Well this one is a series and number two is the best.
Lynn: Mm-hmm. my god. Did you read them in order this time?
Phi Kelnhofer: I did. And because I was like, this is stupid. I'm not gonna like it. And then I like loved it. And then I read book two and I read book two, I don't know, maybe three or four times at this point. Don't judge
Lynn: my god.
Phi Kelnhofer: me. Do not judge me. I read it on Kindle, I read it as a paperback, and then I did audio.
Lynn: Ma'am.
Phi Kelnhofer: I have a problem. And then book three came out two weeks ago. And it is exciting. Yeah.
Lynn: That's exciting. Okay, yeah. So we'll definitely talk about all that next week. That's amazing.
Phi Kelnhofer: Yeah. Amazing. Current events over here.
Lynn: I love it. So before we close out, do you wanna tell me what you're reading for this week
Phi Kelnhofer: Yes, I'm gonna try to last week I mentioned not that kind of proposal by Victoria Levine, and I just like didn't get a chance to even open it. So I'm really gonna try to read that. and then released yesterday was How to Troll a Guy in Ten Days by Pippa Grant. And
Lynn: I'm dead.
Phi Kelnhofer: it is in a series, but I'm listening to this one as an audiobook because Teddy Hamilton is narrating.
Lynn: your man.
Phi Kelnhofer: He I love his voice. Like his voice is amazing.
Lynn: I'm gonna tell you something. I've never listened to a Teddy Hamilton, but I love, you know who I love is Anthony
Phi Kelnhofer: Yeah.
Lynn: Palomini. Woo! I know.
Phi Kelnhofer: Lynn, I I don't know if like our friendship, we need to we need to have a meeting about this.
Lynn: I we will have a separate offline meeting, but I want you to tell me a really good one to listen to so that I can get a a flava for Teddy. That's your homework, and then you can report back next week. Okay, perfect. All right, that's your homework.
Phi Kelnhofer: Okay, I will definitely that's my homework. I love this homework. This everybody should listen to some teddy. and so and so that that's what I'm gonna try I'm gonna keep it real light and just try to do like those two.
Lynn: Okay, yeah, I'm gonna try to be late as well, given our podcast editing fiasco. And you know, I have an actual job. Yeah, I have
Phi Kelnhofer: It's gonna take us four days.
Lynn: an actual job too, and three kids. so and three softball games this week for my my eldest. So
Phi Kelnhofer: You know what's really funny is like Lynn and I will call each other on the way to work and be like, we're doing actual work
Lynn: No. I know I got I gotta go to the office as I film this from my office. so for me this week, I'm still reading Japanese Gothic. I'm about 60% through. I freaking love it. So I'm probably gonna finish that one. And then I'm actually reading Foreign by Sonora Ja. And it's based in India. And they live in Seattle, I think, but her son goes missing while he's visiting his grandparents in India. Turns out he went to go find his birth father, you know, And then it goes into this whole thing, his dad is like a spokesperson for farmers in India, and they're having this like epidemic of farmers committing suicide. And it's really good and really powerful. And It comes out on October 13th, so it's an arc. And so that will be when this episode drops. So I'm excited to pump it up a little bit. I loved
Phi Kelnhofer: God That's really cool.
Lynn: I know it's kind of fun. So I really loved her book, Intemperance, which I feel like you would like. It's this middle-aged woman. She's having her 55th birthday. She's Indian and she lives also, I think, in Seattle or somewhere on the West Coast. And she has decided that she is going to host a swayam var, which is Literally a competition. This is for her birthday party. She's like, for my 55th birthday party, I'm gonna host this. And it's literally a competition for a bunch of men to be her husband. And at the end of
Phi Kelnhofer: Love it.
Lynn: yeah, at the end of the party, they get married. It's like amazing. It's so funny. Yes. And so it's really
Phi Kelnhofer: God, okay, I love older characters, so I'm gonna have to read those.
Lynn: it's really interesting because she has her career is basically she's a professor. She's all about feminism and like you don't need a man and all this stuff. And so For her to then host a swyam var is very, people are being judgmental and all that stuff. And her adult son is literally like, Mom, are you freaking for real? I'm so embarrassed, stop. But she's like, Whatever.
Phi Kelnhofer: my god.
Lynn: I am sexually charged and lonely. So I'm gonna have this party,
Phi Kelnhofer: my god.
Lynn: get a grip. And then these men like show up. It's amazing. Like she advertises it, it's so good. It's called
Phi Kelnhofer: I cannot wait. Okay, this one, yes. This one I will read.
Lynn: Yeah, so it's called Intemperance and the cover's really cool. It's like a swan. So anyway. So, and then tomorrow, the only other thing I want to say is tomorrow I'm going to Raleigh for an event for V. E. Schwab, who you know is my obsession.
Phi Kelnhofer: Mm.
Lynn: I'm obsessed with her. I told Benner, I was like, yeah, you're gonna stay at G Mama's tomorrow because I'm gonna go to Raleigh to go see V E Schwab. You know, that book that I was really excited about that I got in the mail because I got the advanced reader copy. And she goes, Victorious. And I was like, Yes, she knows. It was so cute. So Victorious is the third book in the villains series. The first book is called Vicious. Second one is Vengeful. This is Victorious. And quick summary for our boo Nick, who said we need to describe all of our books. Is basically there's Victor Vale and Eli Cardale they're best friends in college and they decide they want to become extraordinary people, which is basically people with magical powers. And so they
Phi Kelnhofer: That too.
Lynn: girl, it's so good. And essentially what it is is they have to die, but then come back to life. So they have to find a way to die but not permanently die, like a temporary death. And then they come back with magical powers, but then obviously then they become enemies. And it's just, my God, it's so good. And every EO, extraordinary, has a different power. It's so cool. So anyway. Victorious is the third and final chapter of the villains series. And she's coming to Raleigh. And I am driving three hours to go see her because I'm obsessed with her. So that's what
Phi Kelnhofer: My God. my God.
Lynn: I'm doing.
Phi Kelnhofer: I love that. I used to live in Chapel Hill for a little bit. So whenever you go to that
Lynn: I know.
Phi Kelnhofer: area, I'm just like, my heart. So I hope you have a wonderful time.
Lynn: I know. Thank you. So I think that's it
Phi Kelnhofer: So
Lynn: for this week's episode. We're already at an hour and 10 minutes. So we're gonna edit
Phi Kelnhofer: We'll edit it down.
Lynn: it. But I'm also like, hey, we were gonna do 30 minute episodes. And I'm like, girl.
Phi Kelnhofer: I know we have too much to say. so follow us on Substack at feelinitpodcast dot substack dot com. So you'll never miss an episode. It'll automatically email you when we send out, you know, when we publish a new episode. There's also gonna be like extra book list. I had some fun ideas last night. So really
Lynn: Mm-hmm.
Phi Kelnhofer: exciting. So make sure you subscribe.
Lynn: Yeah, and at some point we may have to start including some of our what we read last week and what we are reading for next week there if we don't want our episodes to be like two hours long.
Phi Kelnhofer: Yes. This is a five hour podcast, like hang on.
Lynn: Right. Hi. Hang out with us all day. Job schmaub, who cares?
Phi Kelnhofer: And I like Yeah, I know. I was like, Lynn, it cannot be a minute longer than thirty minutes.
Lynn: And here we are. but please subscribe to our podcast. It helps us when you subscribe. It helps us when you download the episodes. And so if you could do that wherever you get your podcasts, it's currently up on Spotify, Amazon Music, and Apple Podcasts. overcast and all of that. but leave us a five star review, please. We're very grateful for any of that. Please don't give us any half
Phi Kelnhofer: Yes.
Lynn: stars. Just channel your inner your inner goodreads and round up. You know what mean?
Phi Kelnhofer: Yeah.
Lynn: So let's do that. Please help us.
Phi Kelnhofer: Channel Lynn channel Lynn and do like a five star review please.
Lynn: Yeah, actually if you could be a five star hoe for our podcast, that'd be great.
Phi Kelnhofer: Yes. and also follow us on socials. On Instagram, we are feeling it podcast. and then our individual socials are in the bio there.
Lynn: Yes, and feel free to tag us when you're listening. We love it. We reshare it on stories. We love it.
Phi Kelnhofer: Yes. we love it. Yes. And like and as you could tell during the episode, like we shout out different conversations we have with you guys. So like message us. We love it.
Lynn: Yes, and you know, but if you're sending us something dirty and you don't want us to share your handle, that's fine. We will protect your
Phi Kelnhofer: Totally fine.
Lynn: privacy.
Phi Kelnhofer: We will we'll put that book on the private shelf and story graph.
Lynn: Yeah, only only for the good girls on Patreon. One day we'll do it. All right, bye guys.
Phi Kelnhofer: Okay, see you next week. See you next week, guys.
Lynn: Two moms, seven kids, way too many books.
Phi Kelnhofer: I'm Phi.
Lynn: And I'm Lynn.
Phi Kelnhofer: And we're feeling it.
Lynn: Today we are talking about our bookish icks. But before we get into
Phi Kelnhofer: Ha
Lynn: that, we're gonna have so much fun. But before we get into that, I need to tell you what I got up to this week. Okay, so
Phi Kelnhofer: Please do.
Lynn: I will, ready? So I didn't really get to read as much last week as I typically do because I spent,
Phi Kelnhofer: Me too.
Lynn: hmm, well, I don't know what you were doing, but I was spending approximately three days editing episode one.
Phi Kelnhofer: that's right.
Lynn: And Yeah. So I literally didn't listen to much of my audiobooks because I was just listening to us over and over and over
Phi Kelnhofer: Over and over.
Lynn: with like weird pauses, chops, like the thing that we use was trying to cut off all of our laughs. And I'm like, no.
Phi Kelnhofer: No, we need those.
Lynn: We like the laughs. We're here to laugh. and then the biggest travesty was When I lost the recording and the entire
Phi Kelnhofer: The entire thing gone.
Lynn: thing. And when I tell you the whole thing, it's like the source file, the edited file that I had spent days editing, all the clips that we can use for outtakes and you know, socials or whatever, gone. The whole thing gone. So I panicked. Obviously, I almost had a mental breakdown. Contacted
Phi Kelnhofer: Yes. Yeah, as one does.
Lynn: Riverside, as one does. I mean, if you spent 30 hours or whatever I spent. Girl, I can't. So
Phi Kelnhofer: So much time. Yeah.
Lynn: anyway, I reached out to Riverside. They were like, depending on how long it's been, we might be able to recover. And I was like, it's been 10 seconds. Like literally, I contacted
Phi Kelnhofer: Find it.
Lynn: you immediately. Like, I did not sit on this. So, and then the guy emailed me and was like, okay, what what approximate time did you delete it? I was like, honey child, I deleted it 10 seconds. before I emailed you. So that time. so anyway, I had to do that. and I think we're officially gonna get an editor to help us out because yeah. Yeah.
Phi Kelnhofer: We need to. I we both work and we have a bunch of kids. I have four kids.
Lynn: Seven.
Phi Kelnhofer: Lynn has three kids. Yeah. And it is it is a lot, especially right now. for those of you who are not parents, right now is like sports season. And so you are if your
Lynn: Mm-hmm.
Phi Kelnhofer: kids are in any kind of sport, you are like at a field
Lynn: Mm-hmm.
Phi Kelnhofer: multiple times a week and then on the weekends for games. Like it's it's a lot.
Lynn: 100%. So and that night I was actually on the way to the event that I told you about with the measure. it
Phi Kelnhofer: Yes, yes.
Lynn: was at this place called Gorgeous Glow here in Charlotte. They do like blowouts, spray tans, fun stuff like that. And we did the event.
Phi Kelnhofer: They had a book event.
Lynn: Well, they reached out to me because they wanted to have a book club. I know, I feel I know, I felt so fancy.
Phi Kelnhofer: Lin. Yeah they did.
Lynn: Like I was like, my god, me? so anyway, that was I was on my way there and all of this was happening. I was chatting with Riverside, emailing, losing my mind, and I was texting
Phi Kelnhofer: Texting me.
Lynn: you, calling you mental breakdown land. And so, but you know, obviously we're
Phi Kelnhofer: We're gonna get this work done. Yeah.
Lynn: gonna get it worked out. And obviously, I just turned that off and turned on the book club personality for the measure event.
Phi Kelnhofer: Perfect.
Lynn: It went great. we had around on like a
Phi Kelnhofer: good.
Lynn: Yeah, we had like a dozen people show up, which was amazing.
Phi Kelnhofer: That's a lot.
Lynn: I know, like they didn't have enough seating because we didn't think I mean, we made it work. We pulled over like salon chairs for people to sit in. It
Phi Kelnhofer: Ha ha.
Lynn: was hilarious. It was awesome.
Phi Kelnhofer: Love it.
Lynn: And then they had raffles. I raffled off an autographed copy of The Measure and Poppy Fields by Nikki same same author. She had actually sent
Phi Kelnhofer: But
Lynn: me that, which was so nice.
Phi Kelnhofer: Wow.
Lynn: I know. Pump up to Nikki Ehrlich. She's a queen. And the best part is I was like, y'all, this lady's so nice. She sent me the autograph book plates and they got lost in the mail or delivered to my neighbor. I don't know. They're gone. I had to reach back out to her and be like, hey, can you send this to me again? I'm so sorry. And she did. She was so nice. me too. Don't you yes,
Phi Kelnhofer: Yeah. That's amazing. I love when they're like involved in their books, you know.
Lynn: and don't you love when the authors are like five star people, you know? Yeah.
Phi Kelnhofer: Yes. my God. It like makes me love the book even more.
Lynn: so anyway, it was a huge success. you know, Shania, our friend Niy's
Phi Kelnhofer: Yeah. Yep.
Lynn: Endless Reads, N-I-Y-S Endless Reads on Instagram. she came and she won the raffle for the facial, which was valued at $300. Yeah, I was so jealous. I was like, wait, I didn't even get entered in the raffle. Unfair.
Phi Kelnhofer: What?
Lynn: Justice for Lynn. but then the best part was at the end, the owner was saying, we should do this again. What do you guys think about maybe doing February? And everyone was like, February? We thought you meant like next month, like we're coming back. So
Phi Kelnhofer: Yes, yes.
Lynn: now it well, then we were like, okay, well, what about December? And they're No, no, no, next month. So Now we're coming back in November.
Phi Kelnhofer: Okay.
Lynn: Yeah, we're going back in November. And now they want a thriller or psychological suspense. So I'm on that journey.
Phi Kelnhofer: Ooh. I'd I'd read a thriller
Lynn: and then the last thing is I started a buddy read for Japanese gothic, because you know it's like the fall and I'm trying to get spooky.
Phi Kelnhofer: Yes.
Lynn: It is so good. It's dual timeline.
Phi Kelnhofer: Ooh.
Lynn: Yeah, girl. We've got a samurai chick from 1877, and then we have this guy present day. Who is American but living in Japan and they're living in the same house, you know, a century
Phi Kelnhofer: Mm-hmm.
Lynn: and a half apart. but they have like a wall that they can see each other. So it's kind of time travely paranormal-ish, but it's really good. But what I will say is that the main character dad dates all these women, and they cook for him and help him with carpool. And I was like, okay, that is relatable. Like, As I sit in the carpool Lynn wanting to gouge my eyes out, I forgot to
Phi Kelnhofer: Yes.
Lynn: mention carpool Lynn when we were talking about how we read so much. And I'm like, sit in the carpool
Phi Kelnhofer: my god.
Lynn: line and you'll get lots of audiobook time. So what did you read this week?
Phi Kelnhofer: Okay, so I honestly do not think I have read this many bad books in a row in a long time. I finished four books and had one DNF. did not finish.
Lynn: my god, yeah.
Phi Kelnhofer: I just like I couldn't. So I got like 40%. I was like, no. and then just please keep in mind that I was like halfway through two or three of these books. So the first one was called Of Ink and Alchemy by Sloane St. James. And it's supposed to be a dark romance about a tattoo artist who falls for her longtime crush and mentor who is like obsessed with her, but doesn't make a move
Lynn: Okay.
Phi Kelnhofer: forever. so this MMC, his name is Logan, he gaslights this woman like you would not believe, Lynn. Let me give you some examples. So, first, so she has tried to like make out with him and like tell him her feelings, and he has just ignored them. And so she's like, Okay, he doesn't like me. I'm moving on. So she has a boyfriend who she's trying to get serious with. He takes the keys to the boyfriend's house, breaks
Lynn: What?
Phi Kelnhofer: Yes, breaks in and dumps out all of his condoms and so that it'll look like he's cheating on her and then puts a scrunchie in the car so that when she gets out of the car there's like a girl scrunchie. Of
Lynn: Right, of course.
Phi Kelnhofer: course. So she like breaks up with the guy, you know, comes back to the tattoo shop. Then he goes to another town and adopts a dog and And then ties it up in front of the tattoo studio. And then it's like, my God, somebody abandoned a dog in front of our studio.
Lynn: my god!
Phi Kelnhofer: And then he adopts the dog in front of her to make him seem like a good guy.
Lynn: my god, why are we glamorizing and romanticizing manipulation and my god, I mean, are men in real life not bad enough? I mean, not our men, obviously, our men are amazing. But
Phi Kelnhofer: Our men are amazing.
Lynn: my god, isn't the point of fictional
Phi Kelnhofer: Yes.
Lynn: men that they are amazing?
Phi Kelnhofer: Yeah, like how do you recover from that lying to her so bad? Where you're like fucking adopting a dog from like a town over. Like this is so this was wild and they still had it kissed and it was like close to 40%. And I was like, I I'm out. Like I just
Lynn: no. Yeah, I'm out. I'm mm mm.
Phi Kelnhofer: yes. okay, so then the next one was I so I did not finish that one. Then the next
Lynn: Good call.
Phi Kelnhofer: one was the doomsday one by Laura Piper Lee.
Lynn: Mm-hmm. The one about my mom. Yep.
Phi Kelnhofer: I so she's yeah, she's a she's a doomsday prepper, he's a nerdy professor, there's a pandemic, then a lockdown, there's zombies. Like I was like, ooh, fall zombies, like it'll be so cute. And I was like, they're on a road trip together, like what's gonna happen? my god, it was so fucking stupid. they kept making
Lynn: no.
Phi Kelnhofer: really bad decisions. I know. So I just and it was just lame. Like there was a bunch of storylines that were started, like her trauma with her mom. Like her mom was a prepper, but like they never Said why, like so stupid. So I finished it, but I wish I wouldn't have, and I rated it like three stars. Yeah, three.
Lynn: I was gonna say, would you rate it? Okay.
Phi Kelnhofer: the next one was I am so sad about this one. Lynn, heartbroken. Okay, so this next one I'm gonna t
Lynn: no, what happened?
Phi Kelnhofer: So I know this author can write really good books. So it is I read Mile High by Liz Tomford as part
Lynn: Mm-hmm.
Phi Kelnhofer: of the Windy City series. And I have read other books in this series, I think like all of them. And they were it's delicious. Delicious.
Lynn: Yeah. You told me Isaiah lives rent free in your head, so clearly she knows how to write in a main a male main character.
Phi Kelnhofer: Yeah, like it her
Lynn: Delicious.
Phi Kelnhofer: Her writing of males and relationships is beautiful. This one was just, it was so repetitive. Like she has body issues. He is a hockey player, but he puts on a media persona, but he's really a nice guy underneath. And it
Lynn: Mm-hmm.
Phi Kelnhofer: keeps repeating itself for the entire book. Okay?
Lynn: No thank you.
Phi Kelnhofer: We get it. Okay. I did like that he, the male mate character, had a really good friendship with another one of his hockey players and like would go over to that guy's house and that guy had kids and like they'd all hang out. And like I really like a good positive romance, you know.
Lynn: Yeah, me too.
Phi Kelnhofer: and then but I d I I wrote this quote down because we need to discuss.
Lynn: my gosh, I can't wait. I'm buckled up.
Phi Kelnhofer: Are you ready? Okay. Okay, this is very inappropriate. Her hands look minuscule around my dick. Her fingers barely closing around it. Like
Lynn: sir
Phi Kelnhofer: a tree trunk? Like what is happening?
Lynn: It's either that, like is he trying to be like, it's me, or is he like she has little elfin hands, like little mini
Phi Kelnhofer: Yeah.
Lynn: hands, like you know those little plastic Halloween hands? Do you know what I'm talking about?
Phi Kelnhofer: It has to be one or the other.
Lynn: I'm dad.
Phi Kelnhofer: Yeah, so I you're welcome. You are welcome.
Lynn: And see, this is why when I uploaded our podcast to all the hosting, I marked it as explicit. So you're
Phi Kelnhofer: Ha ha.
Lynn: welcome, everybody. Do not listen to this in front of your kids. Sorry for the late warning.
Phi Kelnhofer: Nope, this is not appropriate. and then the funniest thing is that the book was called Mile High Club, and the big joke in the book is that it's actually seven miles up when you're in the air. So it's miles ES high. And I'm like, why wouldn't
Lynn: Am I missing the joke?
Phi Kelnhofer: ES? It's supposed to be ES, miles high. Yeah.
Lynn: No, I get it, but like it's not funny. Like am I missing the joke?
Phi Kelnhofer: It's not funny, but she and they never joined the Miles High Club, by the way, but like she named the book Myel High Club and like didn't put the ES on it.
Lynn: Why?
Phi Kelnhofer: I that's a good question. Like
Lynn: Okay.
Phi Kelnhofer: she should have just put it ES because that's the whole joke. Like like they get in little arguments over he's like, let's join the Mile High Club and she's like, actually it's Miles But then like it doesn't roll over. And it had a third
Lynn: that's that's the banter? I'm dead.
Phi Kelnhofer: Yeah, yes, we all are. So and they had a third act breakup. Which I think is lazy. I understand why they do it. For romance novels, in order for it to be called a romance novel, it has to have like certain elements. One of the elements
Lynn: Mm-hmm.
Phi Kelnhofer: is like that it has an H E A, like a happily ever after, or an H F N, which is happy for now. There has to be some kind of conflict, etc. So I get it, like why she's doing a
Lynn: Mm.
Phi Kelnhofer: breakup, but like there's so much more you could do that I feel like the third act breakup is fucking lazy. Yeah.
Lynn: Yeah, I will say I feel like this is you've touched on why I don't really read romance because I don't like formula. Like I don't want to to know that it's gonna
Phi Kelnhofer: It yeah. Yes.
Lynn: be happily ever after. Like, kill the main character. I'm into it. Like
Phi Kelnhofer: Lynn gruesome.
Lynn: What? A little life is like one of my favorite books. And I'm like, people dying left and right. So I mean, I
Phi Kelnhofer: Yeah.
Lynn: don't know. I I it's not for me. I'm not yucking your yum. I think it's great that you love it. And I understand why people love romance. I'm definitely not yucking it. I'm just saying that's why I'm not as into it because I don't want a formula for my books. Like I don't
Phi Kelnhofer: Yes.
Lynn: like being like, I'm at sixty percent, they're gonna have a conflict. It's just I don't know.
Phi Kelnhofer: well, and that's it. Like, I don't think most people are as crazy as me and like did a lot of research into it. I did take a class at a university that had homework
Lynn: Well, you took like a class. Yeah. Yes, girl. I can't wait for you to drop a romance book. By the way, actually, I meant to say this before the event at the salon. Tracy Avery also came because she's a local author to me. And I sent you her book when in Dublin. And it's so
Phi Kelnhofer: God, it's on my t to be red, yes.
Lynn: good. Cause you I'm not a big romance person, but I would say it's more like women's fiction, but it has romance
Phi Kelnhofer: Okay.
Lynn: in it. but I actually got into this whole conversation with her on the side because before it came out, she was like, Hey, I know you're not a huge romance reader. This is what the ending is. I'm being told by this romance author that it has to be happier and all this. And I was like, girl, write the book you want to write. You know what I mean? And
Phi Kelnhofer: No right, yes.
Lynn: I'll just give you a little quick summary of it because it is really good. So basically it's this girl,
Phi Kelnhofer: Yes, please.
Lynn: Jess, who's like late 20s. She's a consultant. She works for one of those big firms and she works all the time. She's very type A. She bought a new house. she's very this is what I'm doing. but then she ends up getting a project that's based in Dublin and it's for a year, and she's never left the country. She's very stuck in her ways. And so she's like, Okay, I'm gonna do it because this is something I should do. And it's a way for her to get it's a path to promotion So she goes, she has to sell that house that she was all excited about. She sells the house. She moves to Dublin. Duh, there's like a hot Irish guy with slutty little green shorts. That's the that's a Lynn. Like I texted her and was like, girl, I love the slutty little green shorts. And she was like, my editor
Phi Kelnhofer: Yes.
Lynn: wanted me to cut it. And I was like, no, it's perfect. Keep. Yeah. It's really good.
Phi Kelnhofer: No, keep. my god, I have to read I have to put the yeah.
Lynn: I really loved it. So anyway, I meant to shout her out earlier because she came to the event as well. But I got distracted by Shania's three hundred dollar facial. Okay. So
Phi Kelnhofer: We all are distracted.
Lynn: we're distracted. So okay, go ahead. Sorry.
Phi Kelnhofer: Okay, no, no, no, you're good. so the next one is I like I'm blushing just even talking about this book. Okay, so it's it's
Lynn: Ooh, okay.
Phi Kelnhofer: Devil by Sierra Simone. I wanted to like it.
Lynn: These are the ones is this the ones you said was really dirty?
Phi Kelnhofer: It's so bad. It's like it's not good dirty. Like it's not good. Like
Lynn: no.
Phi Kelnhofer: I I'm all here for a spicy book. This one was just not it. Like, ugh, I didn't quite understand his obsession. I felt like I was missing something. And so I got it, thank God, for free on Libby. And like I would recommend not buying this book. But it had a very slow start and then it went from like zero to a million.
Lynn: Hmm.
Phi Kelnhofer: and like the sex scenes were not ever like completed. Like it would be like they mess around and then like oop, you know, turn the page and it's you know, them them going to breakfast or something. Like it never it was never like like choppy. No.
Lynn: so it's like a is it closed door or did it just seem choppy and unfinished?
Phi Kelnhofer: Choppy and unfinished. And so
Lynn: Weird. Okay.
Phi Kelnhofer: the MMC Ryan is like a giant dick, but he's like sweet in some moments and he's like obsessed with her. And they originally meet when she is his teacher at a religious college where he's a student.
Lynn: my god.
Phi Kelnhofer: And yes, and so it's like
Lynn: Yeah.
Phi Kelnhofer: I then they get caught like kissing and she has a morality clause, so she gets fired
Lynn: Mm-hmm.
Phi Kelnhofer: and he sees seven years later he sees like a life-size statue of Lucifer that Bertie sculpted with his face on it. so then he like tracks her down and says he's going to buy her for a year and then give her money for her sister for the rest of her life if he gets to buy her for a year. Just roll your eyes again. Like a person. It's so stupid.
Lynn: By her like a person? Like I own you?
Phi Kelnhofer: Yes, like like come to my house and then you're my like slave. Like it's so dumb. It is so dumb. And she's like in
Lynn: Okay. Do you remember last week when you told me that you're a green flag girl? This is like red flags like flashing red flags.
Phi Kelnhofer: That's why I was like, I can't. So then anyway, it's just and then she ends up finding out that he has been like, I don't know, surprise, surprise, keeping stuff from her, signing her name, like, you know, he was gonna end up taking care of her sister, who's a giant bitch anyway. And I'm like, why are you taking care of your sister? The whole thing is done, and So I I don't know if you know this. I went to a Jesuit college preparatory academy for high school. And so
Lynn: Of
Phi Kelnhofer: I am very well versed in the whole religious shame mindset. Okay. So this
Lynn: Yes, totally. I get that. Yeah.
Phi Kelnhofer: in this book, she was super religious and a virgin, of course. And
Lynn: Obviously.
Phi Kelnhofer: And they kept like putting in to sex scenes, any scene, religious commentary, like Bible verses or what someone said. Yes! And I was
Lynn: No
Phi Kelnhofer: like, this is wrong. This is awful. This is like, I do not need this.
Lynn: It's no, it's too much.
Phi Kelnhofer: So anyway, there's like an infamous cross scene in this book that everyone talks about. It is not hot at all. I'm just like, these people need so much therapy. Like, please go get help. So yes, I rated it a two.
Lynn: Please just get therapy. BetterHelp.com has not sponsored this podcast, but betterhelp.com. Yet, maybe
Phi Kelnhofer: Yet
Lynn: one day, with all you listeners. By the way, speaking of
Phi Kelnhofer: Okay.
Lynn: listeners, really quick, one of my friends, Brea, who is on Instagram as FMC underscore downloading. So, like female main character downloading, which is a cute name. But anyway, she said.
Phi Kelnhofer: Mm. Cute.
Lynn: She sent me a message and she goes, dude, listening to this, and she's like green flags. Meanwhile, I'm reading a demon smut book and he's two thousand years old. And then she goes, But when he sees a bruise on her at their first meeting, he goes to eliminate all the dudes in the nearby town. I mean, green flag behavior, honestly.
Phi Kelnhofer: Love it. Tell her to tell me the name of the book.
Lynn: Yeah, what's the title? yeah. Mm-hmm. Yeah.
Phi Kelnhofer: my god. Okay. And so then the n last one, he gets hit by a car, like bumped. And I was like, why didn't he get fully hit by this car? Okay.
Lynn: Yeah, just die. We're done.
Phi Kelnhofer: so they it's it's called The Stopover by TL Swan. And
Lynn: Mm-hmm.
Phi Kelnhofer: it's very spicy from the get-go. They like get s sat next to each other on an airplane. There's some weather situation, they have to stop. So there's a layover and of course they get together, but like he doesn't ask for her number, she doesn't ask for his. Fast forward a year, she gets a job at his company, and of course, surprise, he's the billionaire CEO.
Lynn: my god, I can't
Phi Kelnhofer: I yes, I can't either. So she she thinks that the way to go is to be a giant bitch to him. Like, my god. And
Lynn: for sure. Yeah.
Phi Kelnhofer: why? Because she's hurt that he didn't ask for her number way back when. okay, like we get it, fine. But then they mess around
Lynn: we gotta
Phi Kelnhofer: and she sees a girl's name on his phone. So she leaves in the middle of the night and then acts psycho to him.
Lynn: God
Phi Kelnhofer: And he's like
Lynn: See that's realistic.
Phi Kelnhofer: And he's like, okay, well, I'm gonna act psycho to you too. Yeah. So they like argue.
Lynn: No.
Phi Kelnhofer: It is so uncomfortable. Like, I don't wanna read this. So then they mess around again, okay?
Lynn: So toxic.
Phi Kelnhofer: So toxic. That's like literally my thought is like so toxic. And then he tells her,
Lynn: Break.
Phi Kelnhofer: Don't come. Okay, like hold your orgasm. Yeah, like
Lynn: Stop no
Phi Kelnhofer: I okay, we're gonna talk about icks in a second. Like, is that even fucking possible? So he tells her.
Lynn: Thirty minutes deep and we haven't even gotten our icks yet.
Phi Kelnhofer: So she t so he tells her this and then he fucking comes and then she looks in his eyes and he's like, Don't look at me like that. Don't fall in love with me. I would fucking murder.
Lynn: Ew get over yourself Get over yourself. I cannot. No thank you.
Phi Kelnhofer: Right, okay, so then of course he develops these insane feelings all of a sudden.
Lynn: Uh-huh, yeah, cool.
Phi Kelnhofer: And then he breaks up with her because he cares too much.
Lynn: my god, I can't with that. They did that in atmosphere. I was like the only fight. It was so saccharin because the only fight they had was I love you too much to let you be with me. Like, shut up. Get out of here. Like,
Phi Kelnhofer: Yes. It's like shut up. Like yes. But yeah, like it's it's crazy. So anyway, then they fight and they're arguing and he gives her an ultimatum.
Lynn: Great. Keep being toxic.
Phi Kelnhofer: So there's
Lynn: Don't change.
Phi Kelnhofer: Yes. So I gave it a two. I should have given it like a one. I
Lynn: Wow.
Phi Kelnhofer: was just so mad. and there's multiple books in this series and everyone's going nuts about it right now on Instagram. And I'm like, how? Like are we reading the same book? So
Lynn: Well, maybe they'll at us in the comments and be like, You guys are so mean.
Phi Kelnhofer: I I hope not because like I hope I'm saving someone time because w maybe
Lynn: Yes. No, you are.
Phi Kelnhofer: next we'll read or we'll recommend some really great books because these are just awful. this we that's a good transition, Lynn
Lynn: Yeah. But but this week is about our icks, so it it's gonna be more icky. Yeah. Go ahead, tell me your ick.
Phi Kelnhofer: Yes. Do you Okay, so I'm gonna start with one.
Lynn: my god, yes. I can't wait. By the way, can we tell the listeners we have
Phi Kelnhofer: okay.
Lynn: not previously shared these with each other? So this is going to be a live reaction to each of our icks. Okay, go ahead.
Phi Kelnhofer: Okay, so the first one, okay, so I hope that my wonderful husband Nick is not listening to this episode. This doesn't have to do with him, but I would turn it off. So we were Nick and Sonia, this one's not for you. So okay,
Lynn: Turn it off, Nick. And probably Sonia as well. Mother in law, cover your ears. Just shh.
Phi Kelnhofer: I he was asking me like what the next episode was because he listened to our first episode and he really liked it. He was like really engaged and he's like, so what's the next
Lynn: I love it.
Phi Kelnhofer: one? So I was like, actually it's about icks and so I pulled up my notes and I started reading some and he laughed and he's like, Phi, what are you reading? So okay, so my first one is the Lynn, he unzips his pants and his erection springs free.
Lynn: my god, I love when they say that. Like it's a caged animal and it has to get out. It's like George,
Phi Kelnhofer: Yeah, like sir.
Lynn: the squirrel in Matt's office. It's just the squirrel is here. Truly. What do you mean it's springs?
Phi Kelnhofer: How tight are your pants? Yes. So so Nick kind of laughed and he was like, well, Phi, that's like, that wouldn't really happen unless he's pushing it down that way. Like normally it would go up into your, you know, waist pants.
Lynn: my god. Does does he know we read fiction?
Phi Kelnhofer: my God, so I'm dying. So he weighed in and then he was like, I'm good. I don't need to hear any more
Lynn: He's like, I got it. I'm all set.
Phi Kelnhofer: Yeah. He's like, you and Lynn can talk. He did say about our first podcast. He was like, it was really cute. It's like you guys it's like I was listening to you guys on speakerphone.
Lynn: That is, it's like listening to us talk to each other. I know, we're so cute.
Phi Kelnhofer: Right? It's like very soothing. Like I'll yeah, I'll go back and listen to it again 'cause it's just great.
Lynn: Me too, because I feel like I'm just listening to my bestie. speaking of us talking, we actually already talked about this ick because we were buddy reading Direbound together. my
Phi Kelnhofer: Yes.
Lynn: god, love direbound. You know, I I'm not gonna do a whole description, but it's a fantasy
Phi Kelnhofer: Direbound was amazing. Yes.
Lynn: and she has to go save her sister. She has to bond with a wolf. It's basically fourth wing, but with
Phi Kelnhofer: Like, yeah.
Lynn: Dogs I mean sorry, wolves instead of dragons. Okay, like it's stupid. I mean it's stupid, but we loved it. I mean we were like we did.
Phi Kelnhofer: Yes. Good good description. We did and we like buddy read it. So it was like so we were reading it at the same time and like texting each other, like, my god, did you read this? Did you read this? Like, yeah. Yes.
Lynn: Yeah. Are you on so the ick from that book though was Killian calling her kitten, which is just so gross. Like he's like, kitten,
Phi Kelnhofer: It was disgusting.
Lynn: yeah, kitten, come here. I'm like, ew, stop. But I will say, Killian could get down. Like Killya
Phi Kelnhofer: Yes.
Lynn: and Woo Legit.
Phi Kelnhofer: He di he did and he it was unexpected because I was like, he's like not the good guy from the get go. And right. Cannot be.
Lynn: Well, you know he's not the main man because he's blonde. So there it's if he's blonde, he ain't it. This is like a Dane Atos situation, right? Which is fourth, fourth wing.
Phi Kelnhofer: Exactly. Yes.
Lynn: So obviously that was gonna be the case, but I have another one that's even funnier. So I
Phi Kelnhofer: please.
Lynn: posted a story on Lynn's literary adventures and said, Can people send me their icks for our episode? And my friend Christa told me that she was reading one where he calls her Caterpillar.
Phi Kelnhofer: What?
Lynn: Girl, what? Ooh, like, I don't get it. Like, is it meant to be like, ooh, you're gonna be a butterfly?
Phi Kelnhofer: Ew I ew e I don't get it. Like why? 'Cause like is she gonna transform?
Lynn: I think that has to be it because otherwise, all I'm picturing is like one of the woolly caterpillars, like the fuzzy ones.
Phi Kelnhofer: Okay. It's like a fuzzy me too.
Lynn: I'm like, is she fuzzy?
Phi Kelnhofer: Yeah.
Lynn: and then she just kept she continued. so, but then she was like, anytime they put little in front of something, like little dove, little kitten, I'm like, stop it. Just stop. And then
Phi Kelnhofer: I don't know if I hate that. Like I d I don't
Lynn: You don't? See, I kinda do.
Phi Kelnhofer: ha I don't hate like it that doesn't bother me as much as a kitten. my god, too funny.
Lynn: Anyway, so those were some of the funny reactions that I got when I asked for ICX, using kitten as kind of our go by.
Phi Kelnhofer: So, one of mine, speaking of talking, is like degrading sex talk. Like when he calls
Lynn: Yeah
Phi Kelnhofer: her like a slut or a whore, it drives me crazy. Like, I'm
Lynn: Yeah.
Phi Kelnhofer: sorry, sir. You're probably way more sexually into it than she's ever been.
Lynn: Mm-hmm.
Phi Kelnhofer: Why are you slut shaming? Like, just stop. Yeah.
Lynn: Don't slut shame. Also, when you tell me that, I'm picturing that he then slaps her across the face.
Phi Kelnhofer: Like god, I would kill. I would kill. It's yeah, it Okay.
Lynn: Yeah. It would be justifiable homicide. Just ask the lawyer.
Phi Kelnhofer: Then I don't even know how to talk about this one, Lynn. So I was reading this book called In Stormy Weather, which is
Lynn: Ooh, I've heard of this one.
Phi Kelnhofer: yes, it is everywhere. And
Lynn: Yeah.
Phi Kelnhofer: her other books are amazing.
Lynn: Who's the author?
Phi Kelnhofer: Chelsea Curto and this book was so bad. Like my entire book club, we were texting each other the entire time reading while we were reading it, like saying how much we hated it and like hated different scenes. And I again was like, I yeah. Yeah,
Lynn: That's the best though. I'm kind of into that. When everyone hates it, it's kind of fun.
Phi Kelnhofer: like the whole book club. It wasn't just me, you guys, it was five other women. And so there's this intimate scene where he like presses on her stomach. And I immediately texted Julin. And I was like, if he presses on my stomach, I will hurt him.
Lynn: I remember this text, you were like, Is this a thing? And I was like, I've never heard of this in my life.
Phi Kelnhofer: Like I was like, why, why would someone ever press on my stomach? Like, I am so bothered. This is an immediate ick.
Lynn: I can't even visualize it.
Phi Kelnhofer: I like, yeah, it was so stupid. So we were again, my poor husband. So I was telling him about this, like how enraged I was. And we were like standing in the kitchen or whatever, and he like comes up and presses my stomach. And you guys, it was the fucking hottest thing in the world.
Lynn: See, Nick is such a green flag. He's like, my God, you
Phi Kelnhofer: Yeah.
Lynn: read something and you don't understand why it's hot. Enter Nick. I'm here to explain it to you and show you.
Phi Kelnhofer: And I was like, I like I texted back Lynn and I was like, I retract my
Lynn: Mm.
Phi Kelnhofer: entire complaint. Turns out this is a thing, like, go try it.
Lynn: Turns out, yeah. You were like, I retract my former statement. Uh-huh. Yeah.
Phi Kelnhofer: Yeah, not an egg.
Lynn: Okay. Well, that's good. I like when an ick turns out to be a yum. That's kind of good.
Phi Kelnhofer: Yes.
Lynn: Speaking of that, I got a bunch of responses about good girl. like when
Phi Kelnhofer: Ooh.
Lynn: he calls you good girl. Like, I d I died when somebody me too!
Phi Kelnhofer: I love it. Love it.
Lynn: Someone said multiple people sent me good girl and my response was okay, well, more for the rest of us.
Phi Kelnhofer: What?
Lynn: More for the rest of us. If you don't like it, we're here for it. It's fine. but yeah, but I will tell you, this is my plan. If we end up getting, you know, more than, you know, five listeners of the podcast and start a Patreon, I'm gonna tell you one of the tiers is 1000% gonna be called good girls. It's gonna be the good girls. Like maybe like the five level will be like the good girls. so
Phi Kelnhofer: my
Lynn: stay tuned, keep listening, tell your friends, and then maybe one day you can be a good girl. And we'll be like,
Phi Kelnhofer: Right? Yes.
Lynn: good girl.
Phi Kelnhofer: My god, I love it.
Lynn: Okay, I know. I just thought of that last night and I was like, what if we had a Patreon tier called The Good Girls?
Phi Kelnhofer: my god. that is too funny.
Lynn: with like bonus episodes. So okay, keep going. okay, I do want to say one last thing before we move on.
Phi Kelnhofer: Please do.
Lynn: I want to revisit the angel wing discussion because I have been thinking
Phi Kelnhofer: Please do.
Lynn: about it nonstop. Why am I
Phi Kelnhofer: So have we.
Lynn: so impacted by these these angel wings? So here's the thing. Okay, so bat wings, they f they kind of like fold in. Like they can fold in. So when they're walking, they're not just like out. You know, they they're folded in. Angel wings don't seem to
Phi Kelnhofer: How do you know this?
Lynn: have that I don't know, that's how it works in my brain.
Phi Kelnhofer: Yeah.
Lynn: They seem folded. I don't know. Like they're not
Phi Kelnhofer: Okay.
Lynn: just out all the time. Well then and also Resand can get rid of his. He he's magical and he can just like get rid of the wings. Resand
Phi Kelnhofer: Yes. I mean he can do anything. Yes.
Lynn: is The most handsome High Lord. Anyway, so but angel wings, like as I was saying, they're like flared out, they're big. Like I'm just imagining him walking down the street and like banging into people, right? Just like
Phi Kelnhofer: You guys, I'm like I've got like a little I've got a little screen over here and I can like see Lynn and I
Lynn: Ha ha ha
Phi Kelnhofer: think I just died. Like she's like over here flapping her arms. these angel wings.
Lynn: So there's that. Okay, I'm not done. And then the other thing I think of, first of all, I remember being a child and like picking up feathers and people being like, ooh, gross, there's so many germs on feathers, diseases,
Phi Kelnhofer: So many.
Lynn: do not touch it. So I'm already kind of grossed out by wings generally. And then I
Phi Kelnhofer: Yes.
Lynn: think what I'm really thrown by is the Dawn commercial with the duck.
Phi Kelnhofer: Well
Lynn: If you there's not a person on this earth that probably doesn't know what I'm talking about, but like the
Phi Kelnhofer: With that. Right.
Lynn: duck is all covered in like grease or whatever, and Dawn is the way to get it off. And I saw this hysterical GIF or meme or what it's a mi it was a meme because it was not mobile. And it was like, Dawn, look at how great we can clean this duck. And then it's like me, okay, but can it wash my dishes? And then it's like, Dawn,
Phi Kelnhofer: Mm.
Lynn: again, do you see the duck? Something like that. I'll post it on Instagram.
Phi Kelnhofer: Please do this is hilarious.
Lynn: And I was like, this is literally what bothers me about this is I'm just like, do I need to go into the who, it not me, but Bryce. Does she need to go into the shower with Hunt with some Dawn to wash his wings when he gets all
Phi Kelnhofer: Yes.
Lynn: the demon blood, which is not regular blood, on his wings? And then my friend Brea, who I mentioned earlier, she was like, I just don't think the blood gets on the wings. And I was like, What you mean like wings
Phi Kelnhofer: Why wouldn't
Lynn: No, I you it's like immune from blood spatter? I don't understand what's going on here. So I love that we're all thinking about this. These are the important topics in literature. so
Phi Kelnhofer: You know, I I don't know if you know this, but I absolutely hate birds. Okay. And
Lynn: me too. Remember on my bachelorette party there were all those birds flying around and we were all like, Get these out of here.
Phi Kelnhofer: We're like, what is happening?
Lynn: Freaking hate birds. By the way, some
Phi Kelnhofer: my god.
Lynn: one of our listeners asked you how we met. So we're gonna have to dive into that maybe next week before we do mob romance.
Phi Kelnhofer: That's funny. I my God, I can't wait to tell that story because Lynn, it just like makes me smile every time.
Lynn: I love it. So let's transition into the current happenings, which is that Goodreads was clearly listening to our podcast bec
Phi Kelnhofer: Clearly.
Lynn: because we shit on them for not having half stars. And then they have the freaking audacity
Phi Kelnhofer: He
Lynn: to announce half stars like two days before we go live. And here's what I'll say about it is I think it's obnoxious. Like honestly, fuck Goodreads. Because people have been complaining about this for years. And then now years.
Phi Kelnhofer: Years. It took our podcast. It took our podcast, Land.
Lynn: Correct. It took our pod. Thank you, Phi. Yes. But like the announcement that they are acting like they are such geniuses. Like they have an Instagram
Phi Kelnhofer: Right.
Lynn: post that's like, for every book you wanted to rate an extra half star. Your number one requested feature is here with the like celebration emoji. And I'm like, okay,
Phi Kelnhofer: Yes.
Lynn: do you remember last year when y'all like changed your logo and we were all like, no one asked for this? We asked for half stars.
Phi Kelnhofer: For this, yes. Yes.
Lynn: So for it's just they just act like they're doing us a huge favor. So I find that annoying. But I do wanna tell you, Story Graph that we talked about last week has just announced they added private shelves. So I think they are listening to us too, because you need that for some of your dirty
Phi Kelnhofer: my god. I need this. Yes.
Lynn: stuff. You know what I mean?
Phi Kelnhofer: No one needs to know what I'm reading except the podcast.
Lynn: Except everyone who's listening, all the good girls.
Phi Kelnhofer: That's so perfect. the other the other thing that's happening globally right now in like the book world is that Verity, so Verity was a book by
Lynn: Mm.
Phi Kelnhofer: Colleen Hoover and it just came out as a movie, and it is getting trashed online. And like I have some things to say about it. Like I thought the book
Lynn: Yeah, I saw that. Ooh, tell me. Mm-hmm.
Phi Kelnhofer: was fine. It was entertaining. It was twisty. It you know, a little bit of spice. I wanted to know what happened. Do I
Lynn: Mm-hmm.
Phi Kelnhofer: think Colleen Hoover is the greatest writer of our generation? Not really. But yes.
Lynn: Obviously. That's like Freedom McFadden. It's kind of the same level, I think. Yeah.
Phi Kelnhofer: Yes. Like they're incredi her books are like really readable. I will say that.
Lynn: Yeah, popcorn vibes.
Phi Kelnhofer: Yes. I just wonder if the massive popularity is because it's like a regular book but then there's a little spice in it. So people are like, ooh,
Lynn: Mm-hmm.
Phi Kelnhofer: I didn't know there could be spice in the books. So
Lynn: Mm-hmm.
Phi Kelnhofer: I feel like she does a great, you know, job of that. after yes, yes.
Lynn: Yeah. It was a page turner, I will tell you. It was a page turner.
Phi Kelnhofer: but like after everything that happened with It Ends With Us, I do feel a little bad
Lynn: my god.
Phi Kelnhofer: for Colleen Hoover. And now her other
Lynn: She can't catch a break, man.
Phi Kelnhofer: movie is getting trashed. Like, my god, I would be like, please
Lynn: I mean
Phi Kelnhofer: stop making my books into movies.
Lynn: Just stop. I mean, here's the thing. I feel bad for her because, you know, her work seems to be getting trashed in the media. But I'm also like,
Phi Kelnhofer: Crashed. Yes.
Lynn: Okay, but what's your net worth? Like how bad do I feel for you? I don't know. Your books are popular and
Phi Kelnhofer: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, true, true.
Lynn: you're she probably doesn't give a shit. So I don't know.
Phi Kelnhofer: Yeah. I mean I gave Verity like four stars. I didn't think it needed to be a movie, but
Lynn: No, it doesn't need to be a movie.
Phi Kelnhofer: it I did not think it needed to be a movie. And I love Dakota Johnson and I'm so sad that like apparently her acting is horrendous in it. I saw a thing where it was like the best part of the movie was Anne Hathaway. And she's having a moment, like in her forties, pregnant, like acting again, like go her. Yeah.
Lynn: Mm. She is having a moment. Whew. She looks amazing.
Phi Kelnhofer: What did you think of Verity?
Lynn: I liked it. It was a page turner. I think I I don't remember what I rated it 'cause I read it years ago. but I I liked it. Maybe you can tell me what I rated it since you have my download history on Goodreads.
Phi Kelnhofer: Okay, you guys, I like I'm a dork to the max, like not just regular level dork. So I texted Lynn.
Lynn: We love it.
Phi Kelnhofer: I know, I texted Lynn and was like, hey girl, like you can tell what your reading history from Goodreads. Please do that this weekend. And then I sent her a follow-up text message and I was like, hey girl, can you please send it? Get on it. So then
Lynn: Yeah, get on it. And before you go into what you did with that data, let me just once again pump up like it's nice that Goodreads does that. That's a good thing
Phi Kelnhofer: Yes.
Lynn: about Goodreads. And you can actually export your data and you can import it into Story Graphs. So if you are interested in not giving Jeff Bezos your attention, there you go. Okay, sorry, your turn.
Phi Kelnhofer: Yeah. Yes. And and I need to like it's it's on my fucking to do list, but to like look into Story Graph and I heard that you can like import your data from Goodreads
Lynn: Mm-hmm.
Phi Kelnhofer: into Story Graph. So like if you can do that and you can do these half stars and these private whatever collections, like I'm all for
Lynn: Well, the other thing I'll tell you
Phi Kelnhofer: it.
Lynn: because you're like, hi, I'm a dork, is the analytics on Story Graph are much better. It's really, really
Phi Kelnhofer: Ooh.
Lynn: good analytics.
Phi Kelnhofer: Do you know that I have a whole spreadsheet of my books that I started tagging? Like when I'm done reading, I like tag what they are, it like how I liked them,
Lynn: my god.
Phi Kelnhofer: if there's a playlist with it.
Lynn: A playlist.
Phi Kelnhofer: Girl. I was gonna talk about this on some episode, but I'll just quickly mention it. In Spotify, what I do is like Kindle Unlimited, mostly books, those are the ones where I go in Spotify and type in the title, and it normally has an amazing playlist. I don't know, some yes. No, no, no. Nobody has time for that. But like
Lynn: Like a pre-made playlist. Like you're not making the playlist. okay. Okay. No, I know what you're talking about. I did that for 112263 by Stephen King. He had a playlist in at the back of the book. Yeah.
Phi Kelnhofer: It's incredible. It's incredible. It is like it like my reading enjoyment just like goes through the roof. I love it. I love a good play. Yes. So
Lynn: Yeah, I love that. What a tip. Okay.
Phi Kelnhofer: playlists.
Lynn: Okay. So what did you do with this download history from Goodreads?
Phi Kelnhofer: So I compared our books to see like which ones did Phi rate high, which ones did Lynn rate low, which ones did Lynn rate high and Phi low. Like so I did stuff like that. And so we are going to I'm gonna surprise Lynn and she's gonna love it. And we're gonna talk
Lynn: my god Like right now?
Phi Kelnhofer: about do you wanna do one?
Lynn: Yeah.
Phi Kelnhofer: Okay, so the one I'm gonna do today is called The Drowning Woman by Robin Harding. And Lynn gave it a five and I gave it a two. Okay, so this is a thriller where Lee's restaurant has failed. She's broke. She's living in her car.
Lynn: Mm-hmm.
Phi Kelnhofer: And one morning she sees this woman, Hazel, walk into the ocean. She saves
Lynn: Mm-hmm.
Phi Kelnhofer: her only to find out that Hazel is in a horrible marriage and apparently didn't want to be saved. They become friends. Lee a or Hazel asks Lee to help her disappear, and obviously it's a thriller.
Lynn: Mm.
Phi Kelnhofer: Nothing is actually what it seems. So I will say that the first big twist in the book genuinely surprised me. Like, my God. Wow.
Lynn: Yeah, I thought that was really good.
Phi Kelnhofer: So good. But from there it went downhill. And after all, after
Lynn: I liked Okay, keep going.
Phi Kelnhofer: all, it was just like the ending, the woman has to start over and the husband, he's fine.
Lynn: Yeah, see
Phi Kelnhofer: And that maybe
Lynn: I don't care about that. Like I know some people are like, but I want him to just like go down and burn and I'm just like, whatever, who cares? She's happy.
Phi Kelnhofer: Something. He's fine. And like she had to struggle bus it. Like.
Lynn: Yeah. That whole scene at the spa was so stressful. Mm-hmm.
Phi Kelnhofer: yes. Yes. A agreed. Agreed. So it was fine. so Lin yeah, any comments? Any
Lynn: I think part of it is that I don't read as many thrillers. And so if I enjoy it, I tend to give it a good reading. I
Phi Kelnhofer: Okay.
Lynn: also will say I'm a five-star hoe. So I give out way too many five-stars. I mean, I don't think you are. I think you're very like critical. so that's but that's good
Phi Kelnhofer: That's amazing. So generous. No. I am crazy.
Lynn: because we balance each other out. And also in my defense, this was before Goodreads decided to be assholes and give us half stars that we've been asking for for years. So I probably would have been closer to like 4.25 or 44.5. It wasn't like an actual five star, but regardless, I always round up because I just feel bad for authors. I feel like they work so hard on their life work. And I I don't know. Like if I enjoy it, I'll give it five stars. So but I also have what I
Phi Kelnhofer: Yeah. I I got that.
Lynn: like to call six star reads that are like best books I've ever read. You know what I mean? That just like break the scale.
Phi Kelnhofer: That's see, yeah, like if I like my one of my criteria I have like a whole rating system, which maybe we can go over one of these
Lynn: Ooh, so maybe we'll do a whole episode on that.
Phi Kelnhofer: Yeah, like how we rate books. so I have like a whole system and one of the criteria for a five star review is that I wanna read it again. And that
Lynn: see, I like never reread books, so
Phi Kelnhofer: I barely I that's why I give so few five stars. But no, I god, I can't wait till next week when we talk about mafia because one of
Lynn: my god, the mob I can't believe you gave a mafia romance five stars and you're sitting here shaming me for doing it for the Drowning Woman.
Phi Kelnhofer: Cannot believe it either. Who am I? What like what is happening? This is not me.
Lynn: I can't.
Phi Kelnhofer: And it's not even good. It's I mean it's great, but it's it's really not even good. And like
Lynn: It's not like literature.
Phi Kelnhofer: no it's not. And the but the plot is so fucking engaging. Like you will be
Lynn: okay.
Phi Kelnhofer: at like the edge of your seat and like you know when you read a book and you're like, I wish I knew what would happen next. Well this one is a series and number two is the best.
Lynn: Mm-hmm. my god. Did you read them in order this time?
Phi Kelnhofer: I did. And because I was like, this is stupid. I'm not gonna like it. And then I like loved it. And then I read book two and I read book two, I don't know, maybe three or four times at this point. Don't judge
Lynn: my god.
Phi Kelnhofer: me. Do not judge me. I read it on Kindle, I read it as a paperback, and then I did audio.
Lynn: Ma'am.
Phi Kelnhofer: I have a problem. And then book three came out two weeks ago. And it is exciting. Yeah.
Lynn: That's exciting. Okay, yeah. So we'll definitely talk about all that next week. That's amazing.
Phi Kelnhofer: Yeah. Amazing. Current events over here.
Lynn: I love it. So before we close out, do you wanna tell me what you're reading for this week
Phi Kelnhofer: Yes, I'm gonna try to last week I mentioned not that kind of proposal by Victoria Levine, and I just like didn't get a chance to even open it. So I'm really gonna try to read that. and then released yesterday was How to Troll a Guy in Ten Days by Pippa Grant. And
Lynn: I'm dead.
Phi Kelnhofer: it is in a series, but I'm listening to this one as an audiobook because Teddy Hamilton is narrating.
Lynn: your man.
Phi Kelnhofer: He I love his voice. Like his voice is amazing.
Lynn: I'm gonna tell you something. I've never listened to a Teddy Hamilton, but I love, you know who I love is Anthony
Phi Kelnhofer: Yeah.
Lynn: Palomini. Woo! I know.
Phi Kelnhofer: Lynn, I I don't know if like our friendship, we need to we need to have a meeting about this.
Lynn: I we will have a separate offline meeting, but I want you to tell me a really good one to listen to so that I can get a a flava for Teddy. That's your homework, and then you can report back next week. Okay, perfect. All right, that's your homework.
Phi Kelnhofer: Okay, I will definitely that's my homework. I love this homework. This everybody should listen to some teddy. and so and so that that's what I'm gonna try I'm gonna keep it real light and just try to do like those two.
Lynn: Okay, yeah, I'm gonna try to be late as well, given our podcast editing fiasco. And you know, I have an actual job. Yeah, I have
Phi Kelnhofer: It's gonna take us four days.
Lynn: an actual job too, and three kids. so and three softball games this week for my my eldest. So
Phi Kelnhofer: You know what's really funny is like Lynn and I will call each other on the way to work and be like, we're doing actual work
Lynn: No. I know I got I gotta go to the office as I film this from my office. so for me this week, I'm still reading Japanese Gothic. I'm about 60% through. I freaking love it. So I'm probably gonna finish that one. And then I'm actually reading Foreign by Sonora Ja. And it's based in India. And they live in Seattle, I think, but her son goes missing while he's visiting his grandparents in India. Turns out he went to go find his birth father, you know, And then it goes into this whole thing, his dad is like a spokesperson for farmers in India, and they're having this like epidemic of farmers committing suicide. And it's really good and really powerful. And It comes out on October 13th, so it's an arc. And so that will be when this episode drops. So I'm excited to pump it up a little bit. I loved
Phi Kelnhofer: God That's really cool.
Lynn: I know it's kind of fun. So I really loved her book, Intemperance, which I feel like you would like. It's this middle-aged woman. She's having her 55th birthday. She's Indian and she lives also, I think, in Seattle or somewhere on the West Coast. And she has decided that she is going to host a swayam var, which is Literally a competition. This is for her birthday party. She's like, for my 55th birthday party, I'm gonna host this. And it's literally a competition for a bunch of men to be her husband. And at the end of
Phi Kelnhofer: Love it.
Lynn: yeah, at the end of the party, they get married. It's like amazing. It's so funny. Yes. And so it's really
Phi Kelnhofer: God, okay, I love older characters, so I'm gonna have to read those.
Lynn: it's really interesting because she has her career is basically she's a professor. She's all about feminism and like you don't need a man and all this stuff. And so For her to then host a swyam var is very, people are being judgmental and all that stuff. And her adult son is literally like, Mom, are you freaking for real? I'm so embarrassed, stop. But she's like, Whatever.
Phi Kelnhofer: my god.
Lynn: I am sexually charged and lonely. So I'm gonna have this party,
Phi Kelnhofer: my god.
Lynn: get a grip. And then these men like show up. It's amazing. Like she advertises it, it's so good. It's called
Phi Kelnhofer: I cannot wait. Okay, this one, yes. This one I will read.
Lynn: Yeah, so it's called Intemperance and the cover's really cool. It's like a swan. So anyway. So, and then tomorrow, the only other thing I want to say is tomorrow I'm going to Raleigh for an event for V. E. Schwab, who you know is my obsession.
Phi Kelnhofer: Mm.
Lynn: I'm obsessed with her. I told Benner, I was like, yeah, you're gonna stay at G Mama's tomorrow because I'm gonna go to Raleigh to go see V E Schwab. You know, that book that I was really excited about that I got in the mail because I got the advanced reader copy. And she goes, Victorious. And I was like, Yes, she knows. It was so cute. So Victorious is the third book in the villains series. The first book is called Vicious. Second one is Vengeful. This is Victorious. And quick summary for our boo Nick, who said we need to describe all of our books. Is basically there's Victor Vale and Eli Cardale they're best friends in college and they decide they want to become extraordinary people, which is basically people with magical powers. And so they
Phi Kelnhofer: That too.
Lynn: girl, it's so good. And essentially what it is is they have to die, but then come back to life. So they have to find a way to die but not permanently die, like a temporary death. And then they come back with magical powers, but then obviously then they become enemies. And it's just, my God, it's so good. And every EO, extraordinary, has a different power. It's so cool. So anyway. Victorious is the third and final chapter of the villains series. And she's coming to Raleigh. And I am driving three hours to go see her because I'm obsessed with her. So that's what
Phi Kelnhofer: My God. my God.
Lynn: I'm doing.
Phi Kelnhofer: I love that. I used to live in Chapel Hill for a little bit. So whenever you go to that
Lynn: I know.
Phi Kelnhofer: area, I'm just like, my heart. So I hope you have a wonderful time.
Lynn: I know. Thank you. So I think that's it
Phi Kelnhofer: So
Lynn: for this week's episode. We're already at an hour and 10 minutes. So we're gonna edit
Phi Kelnhofer: We'll edit it down.
Lynn: it. But I'm also like, hey, we were gonna do 30 minute episodes. And I'm like, girl.
Phi Kelnhofer: I know we have too much to say. so follow us on Substack at feelinitpodcast dot substack dot com. So you'll never miss an episode. It'll automatically email you when we send out, you know, when we publish a new episode. There's also gonna be like extra book list. I had some fun ideas last night. So really
Lynn: Mm-hmm.
Phi Kelnhofer: exciting. So make sure you subscribe.
Lynn: Yeah, and at some point we may have to start including some of our what we read last week and what we are reading for next week there if we don't want our episodes to be like two hours long.
Phi Kelnhofer: Yes. This is a five hour podcast, like hang on.
Lynn: Right. Hi. Hang out with us all day. Job schmaub, who cares?
Phi Kelnhofer: And I like Yeah, I know. I was like, Lynn, it cannot be a minute longer than thirty minutes.
Lynn: And here we are. but please subscribe to our podcast. It helps us when you subscribe. It helps us when you download the episodes. And so if you could do that wherever you get your podcasts, it's currently up on Spotify, Amazon Music, and Apple Podcasts. overcast and all of that. but leave us a five star review, please. We're very grateful for any of that. Please don't give us any half
Phi Kelnhofer: Yes.
Lynn: stars. Just channel your inner your inner goodreads and round up. You know what mean?
Phi Kelnhofer: Yeah.
Lynn: So let's do that. Please help us.
Phi Kelnhofer: Channel Lynn channel Lynn and do like a five star review please.
Lynn: Yeah, actually if you could be a five star hoe for our podcast, that'd be great.
Phi Kelnhofer: Yes. and also follow us on socials. On Instagram, we are feeling it podcast. and then our individual socials are in the bio there.
Lynn: Yes, and feel free to tag us when you're listening. We love it. We reshare it on stories. We love it.
Phi Kelnhofer: Yes. we love it. Yes. And like and as you could tell during the episode, like we shout out different conversations we have with you guys. So like message us. We love it.
Lynn: Yes, and you know, but if you're sending us something dirty and you don't want us to share your handle, that's fine. We will protect your
Phi Kelnhofer: Totally fine.
Lynn: privacy.
Phi Kelnhofer: We will we'll put that book on the private shelf and story graph.
Lynn: Yeah, only only for the good girls on Patreon. One day we'll do it. All right, bye guys.
Phi Kelnhofer: Okay, see you next week. See you next week, guys.
