When all else fails...

WEBVTT
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This episode is presented by Monzo.
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Josh, I love the summer holiday, aside from being asked
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for an ice cream every 32 seconds.
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Well, Rob, that is why it's an ideal time to
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get them a free Monzo Kids account to help build
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confidence and independence with their money. You can instantly send
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money or set up regular pocket money and parents still
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have full visibility and control from their own Monzo app.
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Unlike the requests for ice creams from the kids.
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Monzo's award-winning kids account.
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Search Monzo.
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For children aged 6 to 15, parent or guardian account
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needed first. UK residents only. T's and C's apply.
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Hello, you're listening to Parenting Hell with... Can you say
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Josh Widdicombe? Josh Widdicombe. And Rob Beckett. Rob Beckett. Violet,
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can you say Josh Widdicombe? Josh Widdicombe. And Rob Beckett.
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Rob Beckett. Well done. There we go.
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G'day, Rob and Josh and Michael.
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This is our 31-month-old Harris, not Harrison or Harry, and
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five-year-old Violet, giving your names a red hot go.
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Lovely.
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Thank you for keeping me in my seat on the
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rollercoaster ride that is parenting. Stay forever sexy and relatable.
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Great email. Really well written. Love from Down Under.
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Ami. Ami?
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A-M-I-E.
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Ami.
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Ami.
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416 months, Hawkesbury Valley, Australia.
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Hawkesbury Valley, Australia? On his autocue has G'day. Why wouldn't he?
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I suppose that's what he says at the start of
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Last Leg.
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Yeah.
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But it always, yeah.
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Always find that.
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That's how they spell it.
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He's written G'day. Well, it's always weird, isn't it? The
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amount of things on an autocue that you would say anyway, obviously.
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G'day. Well, no, you may not say G'day. Hello. You
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can say hello. Welcome to the show.
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You all right?
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Yeah. I'm fine.
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Right.
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Do you want the longest, shortest time between wake-up and
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leaving the house?
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Yes.
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Before we get into the next one.
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Here we go.
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In last week's episode, you asked for the longest time
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between wake-up and leaving the house. My five-year-old son has
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never slept past 5.30 and is currently on a run
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of four 4.30 a.m.
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Wake-ups.
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Our school drop-off window is 8.45 to 8.55 and we
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are a five-minute walk away.
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Oh, no, that is bad. This means at the moment
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he has four hours to fill every morning. Fucking Nora alive.
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Help.
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Fucking hell.
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That's insane.
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That's a whole day every morning of entertaining a five-year-old.
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Oh, my God. Oh, my word. Four hours. That's awful.
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Four hours. So what's yours?
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Mine is an hour. Bang on, really.
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Ours is about an hour, hour and 15. Yeah.
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Up at half six, 6.45, and then leave about 7,
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you know.
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Depends if they've got different clubs.
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Yeah, depends on what time we leave, depends on what
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time the clubs are, but it's about an hour, hour
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and 15.
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Yeah.
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Yeah.
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Oh, God. That's great. If you can beat that.
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And also, we are looking for shortest as well. We
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do like shortest.
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But.
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Yeah, the shortest is hardcore. Should we do the compilation?
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Or do you want a bit longer here, Michael? That
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was quick. No, he wants the compilation.
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He wants the compilation.
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He wants the compilation. Let's give it to the... Let's
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give it. Enjoy it.
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Here it is.
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We'll be back soon. My wee boys.
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frighteningly clever like he's got we think we're his teachers
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and we think he's got a photographic memory so he
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is really confident.
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And so what does that mean that he's got a
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photographic memory so he.
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From the age of four if you show him any
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country just a shape he'll name it woah wow so
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like I've ever I did part of you go what
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the fuck is going on here so you don't have
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to show him once and it's lodged kinda yeah and
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like he remembers everything I don't think I could do
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any except for it and I'm sorry he was slagging
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me off the other day because I didn't know how
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to spell Kurdistan We do worldo. So it's like, no worldo,
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so it's a country shape every day. So you get
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six guesses to go. So like, it comes up. So
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the first one we ever did, I put it on
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a story online because it came up and he was
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like Gabon.
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I was like, he's four, right? How do you know that?
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He was like, oh, because that's the gap for Equatorial Guinea.
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And I was like, what the fuck? You used to
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eat coal out the fireplace.
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What is happening? And yeah, so he remembers things all
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the time. So tell me what's going on there then.
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So I think he watches a lot of YouTube. I
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love that question. Such a loaded question.
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No, but I just like, what does that mean?
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So he was reading a poem for school because it's
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coming up when we record this. It's coming up for
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Burns Day. And if he reads it a couple of times,
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he just.
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He's got it. He's got it.
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Yeah, yeah.
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And like, he now, he's really into football now, so
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he's memorising old footballers.
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Yeah. So we do World, the weirdest one we did, right?
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And has he got other things that he's really good at?
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Or is it literally like he's just got this one thing?
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It's stuff he's seen.
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It can read really well. It's stuff he's seen.
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And like, we were, so it's been 1st of April
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last year. So my brother lives in America. He was
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back with his wife and their son. and we were
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doing world, and Alex likes to show off, he was like,
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look what I can do, because he realised, I remember,
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he's got your DNA, yeah, he's a showman, we were
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in a pub, and the guy next to us, our
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local pub, the guy was like, oh, I'm really good
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at geography as well, because we were playing like a card,
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geography game, and Alex went, okay, and the guy went, oh,
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we'll have a flag competition, and the first flag came up,
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and my wee boy went, Eswatini, and then the guy
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was like, yeah, we'll leave it there, that's it, that's done,
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but yeah, so it was the first week, but he
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was like, world will come up, and he was like,
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that's weird, that's the Roman Empire, And I was like, no, no,
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it's countries. And he was like, no, that's the Roman Empire.
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And then we clicked it in. And it was like,
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April Fools, you got us. That was the Roman Empire.
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And all of us in the room were like, we
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need to monetize this. Yeah, that is incredible, yeah. And
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so what do his teachers say about stuff like that?
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Does it make it so easy for them? He's pretty
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quick at reading and maths and stuff like that just now, yeah.
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Well, he's good at school. I was all right.
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Your family, they're either missing something or they've got something extra.
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Every story you tell, someone's.
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Got a different.
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Maybe it's like, what's that, Smallville, where everyone's got a
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super power and.
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We don't know it yet. Again, you don't realise how
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weird your family are until you speak it out loud.
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Does that help him with sign language then?
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A little bit. Sign language is kind of similar with anything.
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That the less you do it, the harder it gets
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so if he doesn't see my mum and dad for
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a bit because you know what kids are like he's
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got football he's got all that kind of stuff so
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swimming so he needs to kind of go see them
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and do it and he would always come back like
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when he was younger from mum and dad's with maybe
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three or four signs from that day and he would.
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Remember them all it must be frustrating for them if
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he can't remember certain words to sign at them and
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he knows the shape of the Roman Empire Are you
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putting your art into this?
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Yeah. He's not picked his battles there, has he? But yeah,
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he's very much like the Roman Empire.
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There we go. We don't really know what that meant.
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It made sense, though.
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Yeah.
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Rhythmically, we like.
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Well, I think it's a different world now. I do that.
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I thought you were about to explain.
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No, no, no.
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I do it that way on podcasts.
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But on Not The Week, I would have gone a
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bit like the Roman Empire.
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Yeah.
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And then stare in silence and wait for applause. And
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would it come? What's that? Would the applause come? Yeah.
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And you plant the seed. Nice. Nice.
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Yeah.
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But I'm like heavily. So I gag a lot.
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And then the rest of the time. So like, because
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I've listened to other episodes of podcasts, people talk about
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their father, wife. I coach my son's football team. it
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is well like occasionally so it's like 10 or 11
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of us and I'm away so like it's on tonight
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so I'm not there right I'm not there on Saturday
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because oh no it's not on.
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Because it's still winter have you got an assistant manager
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no one of the other coaches I'm not the top
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one I'm there for like aura I'm there to kind.
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Of big the kids up one of the coaches his
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dad was a very famous manager So he's good for that.
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Who's the manager?
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I don't think he'll want me to say. I would say,
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hand on heart, it's the worst hour and a half
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of my week.
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Every week. Oh, really? 29 kids just running around. What's
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your son's level of ability within the squad? Because that's difficult.
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I'd say there's 29 players.
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it's too big a squad Pep Guardiola talks about stuff
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like that.
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Doesn't he yeah we just put a bid in for
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Mark Guay so hopefully we're going to go he's I'd
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say he's between 10 and 20 in them so he's
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not he's not the best he's okay he loves a
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celebration loves a celebration remembers all the other players' names
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does that when he scores remembers he's actually pretty good
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at that and then knows all the kits I was
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in Rome 90 corner flags at the weekend and he
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was like you need to get me a Dybala Roma
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top And he was like, if you can't get that,
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you can get Totti.
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And I was like, okay, fuck it.
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Well, as soon as I get home, I'll go on
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a Chinese website and you'll have it in a week
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to 10 days.
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I did buy him a fake one because the roboshop
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was 95 euros.
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So that's not happening.
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You'll have an eight pound one that gives you a
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bit of a rash.
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And is it, are the parents as awful as you imagine?
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Sometimes, yeah. There was one, oh, it was awful.
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One of the first few games I was at, with
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Alex and one of the dads for the.
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Other teams was shouting behind the goal just.
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Shouting constantly and it was relatively constructive to his kid
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but also his kid is five like chill the fuck.
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Out and then in.
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My head I was like this guy's a dick this
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guy's a dick and then the minute full time finished
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he came up and went I've seen you on tour.
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I'm a really big fan. I was like, this guy's class.
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So quick. Can I ask?
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Cause you've got two daughters.
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Yeah.
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Who aren't like, well, you, one of your daughters is
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into football.
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Yeah.
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So she's 10, she's 10, but she plays at school
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and for the school.
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And she's, I've been a couple of times. Yeah. It's
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very hard not to.
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00:09:56.149 --> 00:09:59.750
Because I can't imagine you keeping your council on a touchline.
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00:09:59.409 --> 00:10:02.809
Oh really no do you know what I have to
256
00:10:02.850 --> 00:10:04.100
work really hard.
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Because I've been on a panel show with him yeah.
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No but I've I'm only ever encouraging but even that's
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00:10:09.460 --> 00:10:12.320
too much so I'm like well done well done but that's.
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00:10:12.220 --> 00:10:15.840
Who it is So you'd never say push up? No,
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00:10:15.879 --> 00:10:18.679
but I might go... I want to go... There's a
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00:10:18.679 --> 00:10:21.779
bit of space. If I see space, I find it so.
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00:10:21.799 --> 00:10:24.539
I'll never be critical and stuff, but it's quite toxic
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00:10:24.559 --> 00:10:27.009
to shout there's space. Just let her get on with it.
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00:10:27.029 --> 00:10:29.570
But I find it really difficult. I do find as well...
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00:10:29.490 --> 00:10:30.809
I don't know if you get this when you're at
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00:10:30.830 --> 00:10:33.950
the sport, Ray, where people will say stuff to try
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00:10:33.970 --> 00:10:35.730
and make you laugh because they know you're a comedian.
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00:10:36.070 --> 00:10:38.889
So it'll be like... if a kid scuffs it and
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it goes wide and they're 10, I'm like, well done,
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00:10:41.379 --> 00:10:43.120
don't worry about it. But then I'll be like, oh yeah,
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00:10:43.720 --> 00:10:46.100
that was close. And I'm like, no, you're mugging off
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00:10:46.139 --> 00:10:47.120
a kid here.
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00:10:47.159 --> 00:10:50.120
Comedian laugh. And I, I, I, I don't, I give
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them nothing.
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00:10:50.759 --> 00:10:50.940
Yeah.
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00:10:51.159 --> 00:10:54.409
Like a fucking statue. And if they are, oh, I've
278
00:10:54.429 --> 00:10:56.799
said before, I was like, I don't think you should
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00:10:56.840 --> 00:10:59.539
say that. And it gets really, I'm happy to sit
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00:10:59.580 --> 00:11:00.500
in the awkwardness.
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00:11:00.519 --> 00:11:03.779
The fear of mugging off a kid just wins every time.
282
00:11:03.799 --> 00:11:06.100
You can't be, yeah, you're mugging off, yeah, anyway. So
283
00:11:06.179 --> 00:11:10.159
have you had to confront anyone? Yeah, two, two times.
284
00:11:10.799 --> 00:11:13.120
One was like just a football argument and one, another
285
00:11:13.159 --> 00:11:15.970
team was shouting, we've got a very good player who'd
286
00:11:16.289 --> 00:11:18.429
tackled someone quite firmly and they were shouting, do him.
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00:11:18.710 --> 00:11:19.210
Do him now.
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00:11:19.289 --> 00:11:22.350
And I was like, he's five or six. I was like,
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00:11:22.370 --> 00:11:23.309
what the fuck are you doing?
290
00:11:23.629 --> 00:11:25.460
So yeah, that was... How did you deal with it?
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00:11:25.470 --> 00:11:27.110
I went and argued with him straight after. You went
292
00:11:27.149 --> 00:11:27.929
round and said, you can't say it.
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00:11:27.929 --> 00:11:28.210
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
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00:11:28.250 --> 00:11:29.389
And it was parents at the side.
295
00:11:29.250 --> 00:11:29.690
Arguing with him.
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00:11:29.769 --> 00:11:32.029
And then they were.
297
00:11:32.190 --> 00:11:33.850
I was standing in an ice cream van queue after
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00:11:33.889 --> 00:11:35.149
the game and they were raging behind us.
299
00:11:35.330 --> 00:11:38.549
And it's really hard, like, that awkwardness afterwards. And also,
300
00:11:38.590 --> 00:11:40.070
I wonder, like, you can't have a row with someone
301
00:11:40.110 --> 00:11:42.389
older than a flake. 99 on your nose.
302
00:11:42.549 --> 00:11:42.710
Yeah.
303
00:11:44.690 --> 00:11:47.000
So yeah. If you were to stab someone with an
304
00:11:47.059 --> 00:11:51.289
ice cream, which would you choose? Maybe the bottom end
305
00:11:51.330 --> 00:11:53.490
of a Cornetto straight out of the freezer? Yeah, I
306
00:11:53.509 --> 00:11:57.009
think that's true. Absolutely spot on. I don't think I've
307
00:11:57.049 --> 00:11:59.289
ever felt more Glaswegian in my life. That came from
308
00:11:59.330 --> 00:12:00.370
somewhere inside me.
309
00:12:00.389 --> 00:12:03.649
What about getting a Calippo out and using that to
310
00:12:03.669 --> 00:12:04.370
slash someone?
311
00:12:04.429 --> 00:12:05.009
Like a javelin.
312
00:12:05.090 --> 00:12:07.250
I think you could batter someone to death with a
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00:12:07.350 --> 00:12:08.070
frozen Calippo.
314
00:12:08.250 --> 00:12:09.029
And then eat the evidence.
315
00:12:09.129 --> 00:12:11.620
But you'd have to... Yeah, but you'd have to eat
316
00:12:11.629 --> 00:12:15.940
the wrapper. That's what he does. Do you not eat
317
00:12:15.960 --> 00:12:16.460
the wrapper?
318
00:12:16.480 --> 00:12:16.980
No, no, no.
319
00:12:17.039 --> 00:12:18.740
It's like the apple core.
320
00:12:19.960 --> 00:12:22.159
I tell you the thing about a clipper, I don't
321
00:12:22.179 --> 00:12:22.750
like the skin.
322
00:12:23.019 --> 00:12:26.649
Josh licks it outside until it disappears and then he
323
00:12:26.690 --> 00:12:27.570
gets to the fruit.
324
00:12:27.809 --> 00:12:30.549
It's worth it once you get in. Treat yourself. It's good.
325
00:12:31.600 --> 00:12:35.789
Do you... How much do you... put winning as a
326
00:12:35.830 --> 00:12:36.750
thing or how much.
327
00:12:36.710 --> 00:12:39.070
None I don't a lot of time when we leave
328
00:12:39.110 --> 00:12:40.929
I don't know the scores I'll know how many Alex
329
00:12:40.970 --> 00:12:41.870
has scored probably.
330
00:12:41.970 --> 00:12:43.470
If he scores one or two because he'll talk about
331
00:12:43.490 --> 00:12:44.490
it the whole way home he'll be like did you
332
00:12:44.509 --> 00:12:48.320
see my goal but no I could not I will
333
00:12:48.779 --> 00:12:52.379
rotate fairly like they're 5% I used to run I
334
00:12:52.519 --> 00:12:54.000
used to run an amateur team for years.
335
00:12:53.840 --> 00:12:55.840
Playing football and I've played football all my life and
336
00:12:56.809 --> 00:12:59.409
Some people take it seriously. That's never been, because we're not.
337
00:12:59.649 --> 00:13:02.639
That's what ruins it. I love playing football. You pay
338
00:13:02.659 --> 00:13:04.080
to play. That's what I always do.
339
00:13:04.940 --> 00:13:07.299
Some people just, that's what put me off Sunday League
340
00:13:07.340 --> 00:13:10.259
and when I got about 17, 18, it's just like,
341
00:13:10.600 --> 00:13:12.779
just booting, you're trying to have a fight and just frustrate.
342
00:13:13.279 --> 00:13:16.419
I played in this Marks and Spencer's father side tournament.
343
00:13:16.460 --> 00:13:17.779
We played other Marks and Spencer's team.
344
00:13:18.080 --> 00:13:21.409
There was a geezer playing and he was playing football
345
00:13:21.470 --> 00:13:23.350
off his face, drinking a rum and Coke, but it
346
00:13:23.370 --> 00:13:24.289
was too hard.
347
00:13:24.470 --> 00:13:27.039
For anyone to say anything. And he worked for M
348
00:13:27.039 --> 00:13:27.200
& S?
349
00:13:27.360 --> 00:13:27.639
Yeah.
350
00:13:28.330 --> 00:13:28.950
Probably the warehouse.
351
00:13:28.970 --> 00:13:31.120
Tell us about your tour.
352
00:13:31.679 --> 00:13:33.360
Can I ask about Scotland quickly?
353
00:13:33.399 --> 00:13:33.639
Yeah.
354
00:13:34.139 --> 00:13:36.539
I said the other week, I think that Scottish... This
355
00:13:36.600 --> 00:13:40.080
is a worry. Scottish bakeries are 10 times better than
356
00:13:40.139 --> 00:13:40.820
English bakeries.
357
00:13:40.840 --> 00:13:42.919
Yeah. And I don't know why, but I think it is.
358
00:13:43.070 --> 00:13:45.129
Macaroni pies? Is what he said. Yeah.
359
00:13:45.970 --> 00:13:46.690
And then what did you say?
360
00:13:46.710 --> 00:13:48.129
You said macaroni pies. What was the other one?
361
00:13:48.149 --> 00:13:50.789
I think scotch pie. Scotch pie, yeah, yeah. It's such
362
00:13:50.809 --> 00:13:52.710
a good meat for a pie. And what was that
363
00:13:52.750 --> 00:13:53.429
donut thing?
364
00:13:53.929 --> 00:13:57.289
A yum yum? Not yum. It was like a fudge donut. Oh, yeah,
365
00:13:57.320 --> 00:13:59.080
fudge donut, yeah, yeah. Yeah, so it was St. Andrews.
366
00:13:59.200 --> 00:14:01.330
And then what did you say 10 minutes later? I
367
00:14:01.370 --> 00:14:03.769
don't know why I'm not really fit and healthy. I
368
00:14:03.789 --> 00:14:05.610
don't know why I'm not losing weight. I'm going on runs.
369
00:14:05.629 --> 00:14:07.590
But I did eat a scotch pie with beans and
370
00:14:07.610 --> 00:14:10.460
mash on top and then had a fudge donut.
371
00:14:10.799 --> 00:14:13.919
That sounds class though. Yeah, of course. He's happy.
372
00:14:13.940 --> 00:14:16.799
Because actually that scotch pie mince meat is a bit
373
00:14:16.840 --> 00:14:18.639
like pie mash mince meat where it's just loads of
374
00:14:18.659 --> 00:14:19.399
sort of mince rather.
375
00:14:19.419 --> 00:14:19.840
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
376
00:14:19.980 --> 00:14:21.480
I don't like... That's where you get the football. That's
377
00:14:21.500 --> 00:14:22.120
the go-to one.
378
00:14:22.139 --> 00:14:24.929
So I don't like in a pie or anything the
379
00:14:24.950 --> 00:14:26.789
big chunks of the meat because sometimes.
380
00:14:26.809 --> 00:14:28.049
It's like a steak pie kind of thing. Yeah, I
381
00:14:28.070 --> 00:14:30.009
think the big chunks, sometimes the meat's a bit.
382
00:14:30.490 --> 00:14:32.049
dodge well if it's mint you know what you're getting
383
00:14:32.070 --> 00:14:34.610
yeah and it's smooth it's hot it's tasty.
384
00:14:34.389 --> 00:14:37.049
This podcast is so versatile like it really is i
385
00:14:37.090 --> 00:14:40.350
love the men's meat or we just don't have enough
386
00:14:40.529 --> 00:14:42.509
to talk about do you know why so i have
387
00:14:42.570 --> 00:14:45.029
a lesson to episodes how do you manage to do
388
00:14:45.090 --> 00:14:46.909
it by the way i love that you call it
389
00:14:46.929 --> 00:14:50.370
versatile you've made our biggest weakness our strength.
390
00:14:50.070 --> 00:14:53.769
Well i just i think this couch is incredibly neuro spicy.
391
00:14:53.529 --> 00:14:56.470
We don't know what it is but we don't want
392
00:14:56.490 --> 00:14:58.580
to diagnose it because it will be too don't lose
393
00:14:58.620 --> 00:15:04.240
the magic yeah This episode is brought to you by
394
00:15:04.320 --> 00:15:08.039
Tesco Club Card. Big news for thrill-seekers, and I consider
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00:15:08.080 --> 00:15:09.399
you one of them, Rob. Thank you.
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399
00:15:17.470 --> 00:15:20.730
So, Josh, what are we saying? What's your favourite type
400
00:15:20.750 --> 00:15:23.210
of ride? You've heard a lot from me and Lou
401
00:15:23.490 --> 00:15:24.710
and my kids about rides.
402
00:15:24.789 --> 00:15:27.029
I don't get it from you. I feel like you're
403
00:15:27.100 --> 00:15:28.240
a ride-curious.
404
00:15:28.460 --> 00:15:29.980
Do you know what I like, Rob? I like a
405
00:15:30.019 --> 00:15:32.379
big drop. I like a big drop.
406
00:15:32.500 --> 00:15:35.019
I hate the drop. I hate it and I love it.
407
00:15:35.279 --> 00:15:35.980
Do you know what I mean?
408
00:15:36.100 --> 00:15:38.500
It makes my stomach go. That's the fun of it, Rob.
409
00:15:38.559 --> 00:15:41.230
That's the fun of it. No, I can't do the drop.
410
00:15:41.289 --> 00:15:44.529
And I sit down and I clasp myself in. And
411
00:15:44.549 --> 00:15:46.370
I'm scared and I hate it and I don't want
412
00:15:46.389 --> 00:15:47.870
to go on it. And as soon as I've gone
413
00:15:47.929 --> 00:15:49.470
on it, I never want to go on it again.
414
00:15:49.629 --> 00:15:51.419
But for that moment when I'm falling, I think this
415
00:15:51.460 --> 00:15:52.820
is the best thing that's ever happened.
416
00:15:53.259 --> 00:15:54.659
Either that, Rob, or a pirate ship.
417
00:15:54.720 --> 00:15:55.639
I do love a pirate ship.
418
00:15:55.879 --> 00:15:56.720
What, the swinging one?
419
00:15:57.080 --> 00:15:58.200
Yeah. No.
420
00:15:58.840 --> 00:16:01.179
You love drops. You love that little feeling in your belly,
421
00:16:01.210 --> 00:16:01.620
don't you?
422
00:16:01.830 --> 00:16:03.330
Oh, I love the little tickle in my belly.
423
00:16:03.850 --> 00:16:04.669
Little drop, dude.
424
00:16:04.870 --> 00:16:06.850
Rob, if that's got you in the mood, right.
425
00:16:06.929 --> 00:16:08.929
You can get two tickets to a Merlin theme park
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Visit tesco.com slash latest from Clubcard.
436
00:16:40.250 --> 00:16:41.769
Jessica Hines, welcome to the show.
437
00:16:41.789 --> 00:16:42.700
Thank you.
438
00:16:42.879 --> 00:16:46.580
It's very exciting. Can I start with some huge praise?
439
00:16:48.360 --> 00:16:48.799
Yes.
440
00:16:50.539 --> 00:16:51.139
Always.
441
00:16:51.299 --> 00:16:55.460
Because it's rare that we have someone on who I
442
00:16:55.519 --> 00:17:01.710
remember just being incredible, like when I was into comedy
443
00:17:01.929 --> 00:17:06.470
before I did comedy. So you being Cheryl in The
444
00:17:06.509 --> 00:17:09.089
Royal Family, which was the first time I really came
445
00:17:09.150 --> 00:17:10.549
across you, I think, would that be?
446
00:17:10.569 --> 00:17:15.180
Well, I think that was kind of almost simultaneous to Space.
447
00:17:15.200 --> 00:17:17.319
I think it was almost the same year, in fact.
448
00:17:17.400 --> 00:17:19.140
Was it? What a year.
449
00:17:19.160 --> 00:17:19.640
What a year.
450
00:17:19.759 --> 00:17:20.960
And those two things were so.
451
00:17:20.960 --> 00:17:22.880
I had my first child as well.
452
00:17:23.000 --> 00:17:23.289
Was it?
453
00:17:23.420 --> 00:17:24.220
No way.
454
00:17:24.500 --> 00:17:25.920
And that's why he brought it up, because he's so
455
00:17:25.940 --> 00:17:27.859
good at linking stuff back to parenting now.
456
00:17:28.019 --> 00:17:31.140
So you had your first child... As everything just broke
457
00:17:31.200 --> 00:17:32.039
in one kind of.
458
00:17:32.079 --> 00:17:33.359
Yes, that's correct.
459
00:17:33.779 --> 00:17:34.440
Wow.
460
00:17:34.920 --> 00:17:36.019
And what was that like?
461
00:17:36.740 --> 00:17:39.059
I think you can imagine what that was like.
462
00:17:39.359 --> 00:17:41.180
Would you like the coffee table near you to put
463
00:17:41.200 --> 00:17:41.710
your tea down?
464
00:17:41.730 --> 00:17:43.730
Oh, that's very kind. I don't mind holding it. No,
465
00:17:43.769 --> 00:17:44.970
because I put it in front of.
466
00:17:44.930 --> 00:17:47.049
You and then Josh came in and moved it back.
467
00:17:47.089 --> 00:17:48.029
He did, didn't he?
468
00:17:48.049 --> 00:17:48.809
No, no, it's okay.
469
00:17:49.069 --> 00:17:49.730
Yes, thank you.
470
00:17:49.750 --> 00:17:51.769
They can share it, you guys. There you go. Yeah,
471
00:17:51.950 --> 00:17:53.069
I'll just keep mine on the floor.
472
00:17:53.309 --> 00:17:53.630
Yeah.
473
00:17:53.730 --> 00:17:54.970
Keep this class system in order.
474
00:17:55.190 --> 00:17:57.029
I think... They were both kind of filmed at the
475
00:17:57.049 --> 00:17:59.130
same time, but I'm not sure which one came out first.
476
00:17:59.150 --> 00:17:59.569
And were you.
477
00:17:59.490 --> 00:18:00.609
Pregnant in either of them?
478
00:18:01.089 --> 00:18:01.190
No.
479
00:18:01.549 --> 00:18:01.789
No?
480
00:18:01.849 --> 00:18:01.970
No.
481
00:18:02.690 --> 00:18:04.509
So how old would you have been at that point?
482
00:18:04.869 --> 00:18:06.210
I was just 25.
483
00:18:06.210 --> 00:18:09.720
Just 25? Yeah. And so your whole life just changes
484
00:18:09.759 --> 00:18:10.880
in one kind of year?
485
00:18:11.200 --> 00:18:11.500
Yeah.
486
00:18:11.619 --> 00:18:14.000
I mean, I did, I think I, you know, I
487
00:18:14.019 --> 00:18:16.920
was already, you know, I mean, I did kind of,
488
00:18:17.019 --> 00:18:18.779
I'd already packed in quite a lot anyway.
489
00:18:18.819 --> 00:18:19.059
Yeah.
490
00:18:19.180 --> 00:18:19.440
You know.
491
00:18:19.460 --> 00:18:21.160
25's quite young though, sort of like.
492
00:18:21.630 --> 00:18:23.630
In the world of acting and TV, to have a child,
493
00:18:23.690 --> 00:18:27.190
and also two massive shows at that point that really
494
00:18:27.250 --> 00:18:31.730
launched you into popular culture.
495
00:18:31.750 --> 00:18:33.250
How did that year feel at the time?
496
00:18:33.630 --> 00:18:35.869
Well, it felt like I was just packing a lot in.
497
00:18:37.630 --> 00:18:39.299
Yeah.
498
00:18:39.380 --> 00:18:42.339
Packing a lot in. But, you know.
499
00:18:42.359 --> 00:18:44.859
So when you come to the second series of Spaced,
500
00:18:45.779 --> 00:18:47.279
are you doing that one with a small.
501
00:18:47.339 --> 00:18:48.819
Yes. You're writing it and.
502
00:18:49.480 --> 00:18:50.400
Recording it.
503
00:18:50.440 --> 00:18:52.900
We wrote nearby, which was lovely. Simon came over and
504
00:18:53.220 --> 00:18:54.970
we had a little office that was nearby so I
505
00:18:55.009 --> 00:18:57.690
could come back and forth while I was writing.
506
00:18:57.890 --> 00:19:02.069
As an actor, is that the perfect writing job with
507
00:19:02.130 --> 00:19:06.170
a newborn baby? Because being on set and early starts,
508
00:19:06.549 --> 00:19:07.710
is it a bit more logistics or.
509
00:19:07.730 --> 00:19:08.839
All over the place?
510
00:19:08.859 --> 00:19:12.660
I wouldn't necessarily say that, but during the process it's
511
00:19:12.700 --> 00:19:18.059
definitely easier, I would say. Because it's less intense and
512
00:19:18.140 --> 00:19:19.960
obviously there's less early morning.
513
00:19:20.119 --> 00:19:23.039
Yeah. So how many kids have you got? What are
514
00:19:23.079 --> 00:19:23.839
their ages now?
515
00:19:24.119 --> 00:19:25.799
They're three. They're all grown up. So they're not really
516
00:19:25.839 --> 00:19:28.579
kids anymore. They're all adults. So does that mean I'm
517
00:19:28.619 --> 00:19:31.859
not technically a parent anymore?
518
00:19:31.900 --> 00:19:34.660
No, you're still a parent. That's how it works, isn't it?
519
00:19:34.680 --> 00:19:35.819
Do you want to go?
520
00:19:35.980 --> 00:19:38.799
Can I reinvent myself now as a non-parent?
521
00:19:38.819 --> 00:19:40.819
You can reinvent yourself as a non-parent. I've really done it.
522
00:19:40.819 --> 00:19:43.980
I've done a great job. Is it time to just
523
00:19:44.119 --> 00:19:47.009
hang up my... you know lectures if they were.
524
00:19:46.829 --> 00:19:48.509
Here now how would you introduce them then if you
525
00:19:48.529 --> 00:19:49.750
don't want to be the parent if you're not a
526
00:19:49.769 --> 00:19:51.420
parent anymore, they are my mates.
527
00:19:51.539 --> 00:19:52.500
Oh, they're my children.
528
00:19:52.519 --> 00:19:58.779
My adorable children. And are they all moved out?
529
00:19:59.200 --> 00:20:01.099
Yeah, pretty much. I mean, the thing is, I think,
530
00:20:01.480 --> 00:20:04.539
you know, like, we were all together a lot but.
531
00:20:04.460 --> 00:20:07.069
Yeah they have yeah do you feel nostalgic when you
532
00:20:07.089 --> 00:20:09.670
think back to those times those early times.
533
00:20:09.410 --> 00:20:12.730
Well I do say I mean your kids the ages
534
00:20:12.750 --> 00:20:14.630
that your kids are yours are 10 and 8 aren't
535
00:20:14.650 --> 00:20:17.529
they 10 and 8 and yours are 8 and 4
536
00:20:17.529 --> 00:20:20.470
yeah it must be really annoying when people say which
537
00:20:20.519 --> 00:20:24.640
I'm sure they do oh my god just enjoy it
538
00:20:24.779 --> 00:20:27.119
enjoy it and you're thinking what are you talking about
539
00:20:27.140 --> 00:20:30.700
like how would you want to make exactly presumably that's
540
00:20:30.720 --> 00:20:34.490
why you're doing this podcast But it's actually it's so,
541
00:20:35.059 --> 00:20:38.380
you know, yes, enjoy it. And, you know, if there's
542
00:20:38.480 --> 00:20:41.000
one thing I would say is do go back to
543
00:20:41.019 --> 00:20:44.539
the place that they that is the most simplest, nicest
544
00:20:44.619 --> 00:20:45.880
place to go on holiday.
545
00:20:46.200 --> 00:20:46.359
Yes.
546
00:20:46.380 --> 00:20:50.759
You don't need anything fancy. Literally just a different place.
547
00:20:51.059 --> 00:20:51.740
That's easy.
548
00:20:51.759 --> 00:20:53.980
And you know where everything is. They eat the pasta
549
00:20:54.009 --> 00:20:56.549
in that restaurant. You know, there's no steps to the beach.
550
00:20:56.730 --> 00:20:57.210
He's got it.
551
00:20:57.349 --> 00:20:58.029
Thank you.
552
00:20:58.369 --> 00:20:59.009
Rob's got it.
553
00:20:59.029 --> 00:21:01.009
There's only one thing I do well and that's holidays.
554
00:21:01.269 --> 00:21:02.069
Do you, Rob?
555
00:21:02.309 --> 00:21:05.539
Oh, I love hearing about family holidays.
556
00:21:05.630 --> 00:21:06.440
Yeah, I do.
557
00:21:06.559 --> 00:21:11.160
We go hard on holidays and experiences over things more so,
558
00:21:11.180 --> 00:21:11.640
I'd say us.
559
00:21:11.940 --> 00:21:12.420
That is so good.
560
00:21:12.440 --> 00:21:12.720
That's us.
561
00:21:13.940 --> 00:21:17.529
The main experience is repeatedly going on rides in Florida,
562
00:21:17.670 --> 00:21:18.710
but it's still an experience.
563
00:21:18.730 --> 00:21:21.210
Is that where you go back? Do you regularly go
564
00:21:21.230 --> 00:21:22.349
back to the same place?
565
00:21:22.390 --> 00:21:24.650
We regularly go back there to do the ride. The
566
00:21:24.670 --> 00:21:26.299
kids love all the rides at Universal and Disney.
567
00:21:26.319 --> 00:21:27.039
And they know them all.
568
00:21:27.279 --> 00:21:27.759
We know them all.
569
00:21:27.940 --> 00:21:31.319
And then we go to, there's a few different resorts
570
00:21:31.339 --> 00:21:33.500
that we go to where we've been to before that
571
00:21:33.539 --> 00:21:35.839
are really good. So we're very comfortable going back there
572
00:21:35.859 --> 00:21:36.940
and the kids love it and we love it. And
573
00:21:36.960 --> 00:21:38.180
we know that if we go there, we're going to
574
00:21:38.200 --> 00:21:38.960
relax straight away.
575
00:21:39.589 --> 00:21:41.009
When I was a kid, we used to go to
576
00:21:41.049 --> 00:21:42.410
the same place every year.
577
00:21:42.799 --> 00:21:43.059
Nice.
578
00:21:43.119 --> 00:21:45.089
Which is Pembrokeshire in West Wales.
579
00:21:45.829 --> 00:21:46.950
And Pembrokeshire is lovely.
580
00:21:47.349 --> 00:21:50.109
But I think I, because we went every year, I
581
00:21:50.410 --> 00:21:53.369
think I've actually got more fond nostalgic memories of that
582
00:21:53.529 --> 00:21:55.640
place because it felt like we're going, than if we'd
583
00:21:55.920 --> 00:21:57.960
dotted around and you go, oh yeah, we went on
584
00:21:58.000 --> 00:22:01.579
that holiday. Going to the same place actually makes it
585
00:22:01.660 --> 00:22:03.589
almost more vivid in a way.
586
00:22:03.910 --> 00:22:08.230
Absolutely. And because you kind of they almost merge. And
587
00:22:08.269 --> 00:22:10.839
when when everyone's talking about it, everyone's like, is that
588
00:22:10.859 --> 00:22:11.480
was that the time?
589
00:22:11.500 --> 00:22:12.460
Oh, no, no.
590
00:22:12.680 --> 00:22:14.759
What year was that? And was I was I eight
591
00:22:14.819 --> 00:22:17.460
or was I was I five or, you know, and
592
00:22:17.500 --> 00:22:19.279
I do think going back and going back to the
593
00:22:19.299 --> 00:22:20.759
same place is such a good shout.
594
00:22:21.019 --> 00:22:21.660
Yeah, I do.
595
00:22:21.700 --> 00:22:24.619
That's that's the only thing that's only I would never,
596
00:22:24.680 --> 00:22:26.269
ever give parent advice to anyone.
597
00:22:26.450 --> 00:22:27.069
Yeah, ever.
598
00:22:27.859 --> 00:22:31.259
But like that is something that I do tentatively suggest.
599
00:22:31.299 --> 00:22:33.099
And they go, yeah, we've got that worked out. Well,
600
00:22:33.119 --> 00:22:36.140
we always used to go to this place at one point.
601
00:22:36.160 --> 00:22:37.359
You don't need to be specific. No.
602
00:22:37.380 --> 00:22:40.349
I'll give you the address. This is where we will be. No,
603
00:22:40.509 --> 00:22:41.430
it's just this gorgeous.
604
00:22:41.750 --> 00:22:42.069
We used.
605
00:22:42.009 --> 00:22:45.009
To rent these gorgeous little holiday cottages just down in Cornwall.
606
00:22:45.230 --> 00:22:45.970
That's it.
607
00:22:46.089 --> 00:22:50.069
And lovely fields, little creek. And it was the most
608
00:22:50.109 --> 00:22:52.450
beautiful place run by people who were so friendly and
609
00:22:52.490 --> 00:22:56.599
welcoming and lovely. And, you know, and yeah... We went
610
00:22:56.640 --> 00:22:59.200
there to the point where at one point one of
611
00:22:59.220 --> 00:23:01.910
the kids was like, do we own this?
612
00:23:03.130 --> 00:23:03.990
No, we do not.
613
00:23:04.089 --> 00:23:05.789
If only.
614
00:23:06.130 --> 00:23:09.130
Because it was just this beautiful, really simple place. And
615
00:23:09.170 --> 00:23:10.690
you get there and you can just run out the car.
616
00:23:11.180 --> 00:23:13.759
run out in the fields and then everyone disappears and
617
00:23:13.779 --> 00:23:14.960
comes back with loads of stories.
618
00:23:15.740 --> 00:23:16.039
Oh God.
619
00:23:16.460 --> 00:23:19.200
So that's happened. And then they're down there and they're
620
00:23:19.220 --> 00:23:21.140
in the river. I don't know if we can get
621
00:23:21.160 --> 00:23:23.559
it back again, but anyway, I've got to go back again,
622
00:23:23.599 --> 00:23:26.240
but I need some crisps. I need some, I need
623
00:23:26.259 --> 00:23:29.380
something to drink. And then, and that's like the best,
624
00:23:29.619 --> 00:23:32.279
the best, the best. Um, so I wish we'd done
625
00:23:32.319 --> 00:23:34.519
that more. The most simple, simple thing.
626
00:23:34.539 --> 00:23:35.799
Have you gone back since they've grown up?
627
00:23:35.799 --> 00:23:39.450
Oh yeah. Yeah. We've gone. Oh, that's nice. The saddest. Anyway,
628
00:23:39.589 --> 00:23:40.190
we'll be there.
629
00:23:42.390 --> 00:23:46.029
Just so you know our dates. Obviously, we'll be at
630
00:23:46.049 --> 00:23:48.009
the same place, so just let us know if you
631
00:23:48.029 --> 00:23:49.289
need picking up from the station.
632
00:23:49.309 --> 00:23:53.339
We'll drive and get you from Newcastle and bring you down. Exactly.
633
00:23:53.980 --> 00:23:55.700
If any of your uni friends want to come.
634
00:23:55.740 --> 00:23:56.839
Yes, exactly.
635
00:23:57.000 --> 00:23:59.240
But that was kind of magical as well because we
636
00:23:59.279 --> 00:24:01.619
kind of know the people who actually do own the
637
00:24:01.660 --> 00:24:04.569
places and that's sweet to build a relationship with them.
638
00:24:04.589 --> 00:24:08.490
Are they near sort of having families of their own
639
00:24:08.509 --> 00:24:10.309
or are they very much sort of mid-twenties sort of.
640
00:24:10.769 --> 00:24:13.250
still in their 20s living their lives yeah but that
641
00:24:13.369 --> 00:24:15.769
i mean that for me i mean that's like yeah
642
00:24:15.789 --> 00:24:19.049
then it happened they could potentially be having families.
643
00:24:18.589 --> 00:24:20.130
If they but that's i think they're the years where
644
00:24:20.150 --> 00:24:22.910
they go missing the most for parents yeah because when
645
00:24:22.930 --> 00:24:25.539
they do have kids that's when they gravitate back to
646
00:24:25.559 --> 00:24:29.359
sort of yes home normality advice or child care and
647
00:24:29.599 --> 00:24:32.980
but that with that 20s is a bit of they're off.
648
00:24:33.279 --> 00:24:35.759
Yeah you know do you did you both gravitate back
649
00:24:35.819 --> 00:24:40.079
to like so i've just moved Back to Devon? Back
650
00:24:40.119 --> 00:24:40.740
into your parents' house.
651
00:24:40.839 --> 00:24:42.109
I've just moved back into my parents' house.
652
00:24:42.400 --> 00:24:43.509
My wife's just divorcing me.
653
00:24:43.529 --> 00:24:44.349
How's that going?
654
00:24:44.369 --> 00:24:44.910
How's that going?
655
00:24:45.049 --> 00:24:50.269
Okay, right, good. You need the help, Josh. He's not
656
00:24:50.289 --> 00:24:52.930
wanting to be a parent, things come full circle.
657
00:24:53.069 --> 00:24:55.490
No, so I moved away when I was 18.
658
00:24:55.490 --> 00:24:59.440
I grew up in Devon, went to Manchester and then
659
00:24:59.480 --> 00:25:00.799
came to London for like 20 years.
660
00:25:00.819 --> 00:25:01.059
But then.
661
00:25:02.549 --> 00:25:04.650
We were just finding where we lived in London too
662
00:25:04.690 --> 00:25:05.289
much for the kids.
663
00:25:05.349 --> 00:25:07.950
So we moved back to Devon, but not exactly where
664
00:25:07.970 --> 00:25:10.599
I grew up. It's not like the, and so they're
665
00:25:10.619 --> 00:25:11.420
going to the same school.
666
00:25:12.319 --> 00:25:12.539
No.
667
00:25:12.759 --> 00:25:13.000
Yeah.
668
00:25:13.160 --> 00:25:16.079
But yeah, I never, ever, ever thought that would happen.
669
00:25:16.440 --> 00:25:18.579
Did you ever, ever, ever think that you were going
670
00:25:18.599 --> 00:25:19.420
to have children? No.
671
00:25:19.819 --> 00:25:20.200
There you go.
672
00:25:20.420 --> 00:25:21.440
Did you? Yeah.
673
00:25:21.460 --> 00:25:23.269
I always wanted a family and kids.
674
00:25:23.329 --> 00:25:23.700
Yeah.
675
00:25:23.940 --> 00:25:24.369
Did you?
676
00:25:25.329 --> 00:25:28.269
I did. I do love babies. I've always loved babies,
677
00:25:28.569 --> 00:25:31.309
you know, and obviously that's, that's, that's a big help.
678
00:25:32.220 --> 00:25:35.079
I mean, it's not a total game changer. I mean,
679
00:25:35.119 --> 00:25:37.240
you know, it's not a total prerequisite, but it does help.
680
00:25:37.380 --> 00:25:39.079
I do love babies. To the point.
681
00:25:41.240 --> 00:25:44.509
That I would often make friends with babies, like other
682
00:25:44.529 --> 00:25:45.130
people's babies.
683
00:25:45.190 --> 00:25:45.609
Oh, would you?
684
00:25:45.630 --> 00:25:46.170
In a queue.
685
00:25:46.509 --> 00:25:50.190
Oh, in a queue, crying on an aeroplane.
686
00:25:50.289 --> 00:25:51.109
Oh, really?
687
00:25:51.130 --> 00:25:52.049
You offer to hold?
688
00:25:52.369 --> 00:25:53.710
Oh, I would always offer to hold.
689
00:25:53.779 --> 00:25:54.539
Really?
690
00:25:54.819 --> 00:25:57.069
I would hover around. You know, if they're there by
691
00:25:57.109 --> 00:25:59.430
the loo, just rocking the baby, I'll just kind of go.
692
00:25:59.450 --> 00:26:01.619
What's your success rate on the yes from that offer
693
00:26:01.630 --> 00:26:02.079
to hold?
694
00:26:02.920 --> 00:26:05.640
Well, in some cases, maybe perhaps I should have waited
695
00:26:05.660 --> 00:26:07.130
for a yes because....
696
00:26:10.279 --> 00:26:12.990
You've plucked like the pipe. I'm just joking. Of course
697
00:26:13.069 --> 00:26:14.049
I've waited for a yes.
698
00:26:14.809 --> 00:26:18.190
But yeah, no, I mean, surprisingly, but then it becomes
699
00:26:18.230 --> 00:26:20.250
almost a case of them not wanting to be rude.
700
00:26:20.819 --> 00:26:23.339
because of the pleading look in my eyes they.
701
00:26:23.180 --> 00:26:24.339
Think she really really.
702
00:26:24.160 --> 00:26:26.319
Wants to hold this baby maybe i should just let
703
00:26:26.339 --> 00:26:29.079
her hold it but but my children are now will
704
00:26:29.099 --> 00:26:31.000
now say if they set if they see a baby
705
00:26:31.019 --> 00:26:32.720
they're like mum just leave the baby leave the baby
706
00:26:32.740 --> 00:26:35.109
don't touch the baby just don't approach the baby don't
707
00:26:35.119 --> 00:26:36.950
look at the baby you know and i'm.
708
00:26:36.900 --> 00:26:39.200
Like would you take your seat not not if the
709
00:26:39.220 --> 00:26:40.990
seatbelt simon's on but if you were in if you
710
00:26:41.029 --> 00:26:42.650
were seated on a plane.
711
00:26:42.789 --> 00:26:45.529
Seated on a plane i gravitate towards the crying baby
712
00:26:45.549 --> 00:26:46.190
sound yeah.
713
00:26:46.170 --> 00:26:48.970
Wow yeah i do you asked me move closer.
714
00:26:49.490 --> 00:26:51.990
I just hover around. I just have a feeling of like,
715
00:26:52.599 --> 00:26:54.319
maybe they need, especially on a long haul.
716
00:26:54.720 --> 00:26:59.950
And do they ever go, are you, but you're... Never. No, no, never, never.
717
00:26:59.970 --> 00:27:02.039
Of course they don't. No, and also, you're on a
718
00:27:02.059 --> 00:27:04.019
long-haul flight of people from everywhere, you know.
719
00:27:04.140 --> 00:27:06.519
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Of course they do. I do try to.
720
00:27:06.519 --> 00:27:09.240
Or maybe they're secretly going, oh, I think I'm... Yeah,
721
00:27:09.380 --> 00:27:12.569
maybe they're inside. I think it's Cheryl from The Royal Family.
722
00:27:12.589 --> 00:27:14.250
But also as well, you don't want to ask that
723
00:27:14.309 --> 00:27:15.549
if the baby's asleep at that point.
724
00:27:15.930 --> 00:27:16.130
Yeah.
725
00:27:16.210 --> 00:27:18.490
Instead of having a conversation with the person holding the baby.
726
00:27:18.509 --> 00:27:21.769
You'd never wrestle a sleeping baby away from a contented mother, no.
727
00:27:22.009 --> 00:27:24.390
I do try and like, if someone's got a baby
728
00:27:24.410 --> 00:27:26.250
that's kicking off, I don't really offer, but I do
729
00:27:26.309 --> 00:27:28.789
sort of like, sort of smile at them and sort
730
00:27:28.809 --> 00:27:30.269
of give them like a hug, you know, or like
731
00:27:30.289 --> 00:27:31.609
you're doing well, you know, that kind.
732
00:27:31.509 --> 00:27:32.630
Of thing because it's so hard.
733
00:27:32.809 --> 00:27:33.769
I do, I do as well.
734
00:27:33.789 --> 00:27:34.450
So brutal.
735
00:27:34.630 --> 00:27:35.730
Oh, it is brutal, yeah.
736
00:27:38.950 --> 00:27:41.190
How are you? Fucking hell, I'm so tired.
737
00:27:41.630 --> 00:27:41.869
Are you?
738
00:27:42.150 --> 00:27:45.099
Yeah. Well, save it. Let's just let Michael close the door.
739
00:27:47.180 --> 00:27:53.420
Get your fucking mental. It's fucking mental. How old's your kid?
740
00:27:53.460 --> 00:27:54.440
How long have you done this for?
741
00:27:54.529 --> 00:27:55.349
Do you look good?
742
00:27:55.769 --> 00:28:00.670
I feel shite. Do you want a drink or anything?
743
00:28:00.690 --> 00:28:02.549
Have you got a drink? I'll have like a cognac.
744
00:28:02.569 --> 00:28:04.089
That's what you start drinking like when you die. Just
745
00:28:04.109 --> 00:28:07.210
a little red wine. Oh my God. How old's your child?
746
00:28:07.549 --> 00:28:11.970
How old's my child? My child is 12 weeks. Oh,
747
00:28:12.059 --> 00:28:15.380
fucking hell, mate. Guys. It's like the most intense thing
748
00:28:15.390 --> 00:28:19.579
I've ever experienced. Like, it's so... The way... How long
749
00:28:19.599 --> 00:28:21.079
have you guys done this for? How old are your kids?
750
00:28:21.099 --> 00:28:21.720
Ten years.
751
00:28:22.039 --> 00:28:22.420
Eight years.
752
00:28:22.440 --> 00:28:25.559
It gets easier. And anyone that tells you it doesn't
753
00:28:25.579 --> 00:28:30.339
get easier is insane. Because I would not trade the
754
00:28:30.380 --> 00:28:31.210
position you're in.
755
00:28:31.140 --> 00:28:33.069
For the position I'm in. It gets easier, but your
756
00:28:33.170 --> 00:28:35.970
body and mind become a wreck. So it's easier by...
757
00:28:35.930 --> 00:28:37.670
I thought you were going to say wrecked. No, no, no.
758
00:28:37.990 --> 00:28:41.089
It's easier, but you're just... By ten years, you feel like...
759
00:28:40.910 --> 00:28:41.809
It's mad.
760
00:28:41.829 --> 00:28:47.099
It's mad. It's mad. Like, someone's... I don't know who
761
00:28:47.119 --> 00:28:47.559
said this.
762
00:28:47.759 --> 00:28:49.319
Someone showed me a clip of some guy calling it
763
00:28:49.339 --> 00:28:51.119
a Ponzi scheme where they're literally.
764
00:28:50.940 --> 00:28:52.819
Like, come on, come do it. And then you do
765
00:28:52.839 --> 00:28:55.430
it and they're like, gotcha. And you're like, what is this?
766
00:28:55.569 --> 00:28:56.009
It's like.
767
00:28:56.210 --> 00:28:58.769
So what's the main challenge at the moment for you
768
00:28:58.809 --> 00:28:59.690
that you're finding difficult?
769
00:29:00.190 --> 00:29:03.950
Um, uh, so Ziggy. Nice.
770
00:29:03.990 --> 00:29:04.509
Nice, great.
771
00:29:04.529 --> 00:29:05.410
Good name.
772
00:29:05.769 --> 00:29:06.150
Ziggy.
773
00:29:06.829 --> 00:29:09.789
Um, he's... What is he, a cavapoo? Yeah, he's a cavapoo.
774
00:29:09.809 --> 00:29:16.960
LAUGHTER So many dogs called Z. It's wild.
775
00:29:17.079 --> 00:29:18.920
It's just, we're in the stage now where I think
776
00:29:18.960 --> 00:29:20.829
he's got a little bit of regression, is it called?
777
00:29:20.869 --> 00:29:23.369
So he's not sleeping as well. Yeah, they get into
778
00:29:23.390 --> 00:29:26.029
a routine and that changes as they develop. Yeah, it's crazy.
779
00:29:26.170 --> 00:29:28.970
And it's like, it's also, if I.
780
00:29:28.950 --> 00:29:32.230
Had realised when I was a kid, like how much power,
781
00:29:32.250 --> 00:29:34.470
I would have been like a complete dictator. I would
782
00:29:34.490 --> 00:29:37.799
like yeah it's just crazy and he's not really sleeping
783
00:29:37.839 --> 00:29:40.640
that much and you're up this is our routine we
784
00:29:40.660 --> 00:29:42.099
have a little bit of routine yeah i'm gonna give
785
00:29:42.119 --> 00:29:46.009
it to you um feed at 7 p.m yeah then
786
00:29:46.029 --> 00:29:47.829
he goes to bed yeah feed at 6 30 then
787
00:29:47.869 --> 00:29:49.849
he goes to bed at 7 yeah yeah then he's
788
00:29:49.930 --> 00:29:54.349
up at 11 p.m for another feed yeah yeah Are.
789
00:29:54.509 --> 00:29:55.950
You staying up for those four hours?
790
00:29:56.529 --> 00:29:59.980
Yeah, sometimes I do. And is he breastfed or bottle fed?
791
00:30:01.119 --> 00:30:04.019
Breastfed until recently. Now he feeds just on candy.
792
00:30:04.160 --> 00:30:07.519
That might be what he's doing to sleep.
793
00:30:07.539 --> 00:30:11.980
Watermelon sours. Speeding him up. That's good for kids, isn't it?
794
00:30:13.420 --> 00:30:14.980
And so now he's breastfed.
795
00:30:15.029 --> 00:30:17.519
Now he's bottle fed. And then we do another one
796
00:30:17.680 --> 00:30:19.859
at 11. Sometimes I stay.
797
00:30:19.740 --> 00:30:21.160
Up for it, which is a really rogue decision.
798
00:30:21.180 --> 00:30:23.579
Because it's like 9 o'clock and I'm like, am I
799
00:30:23.599 --> 00:30:24.960
really going to sleep for these next two hours?
800
00:30:25.259 --> 00:30:25.619
So I don't.
801
00:30:26.480 --> 00:30:27.940
Then he goes to sleep again. Then he wakes up
802
00:30:27.980 --> 00:30:30.920
at like 2 or 3. Then it's another feed. And
803
00:30:30.940 --> 00:30:34.880
are you waking up then? Both together for every feed.
804
00:30:35.750 --> 00:30:36.150
Good man.
805
00:30:36.170 --> 00:30:39.789
I wouldn't, but I feel bad if I do.
806
00:30:39.809 --> 00:30:44.049
But that's how they, in the olden days... That wasn't happening.
807
00:30:44.369 --> 00:30:46.779
But you're a good modern man, Jamie.
808
00:30:46.799 --> 00:30:48.599
Do you not attempt to split it and go, well,
809
00:30:48.819 --> 00:30:52.400
I'll do 11 and two, and then Sophie does the
810
00:30:52.440 --> 00:30:55.490
next one after two, rather than you both doing it together?
811
00:30:55.589 --> 00:30:57.490
The next one after two is seven. Yeah, so then
812
00:30:57.509 --> 00:31:00.099
she gets a full night's sleep. But then I'm up
813
00:31:00.140 --> 00:31:00.819
at seven anyway.
814
00:31:01.319 --> 00:31:02.539
Yeah, no, but I'm just saying, rather than you both
815
00:31:02.579 --> 00:31:04.859
being there doing one job... Yeah, I get.
816
00:31:05.059 --> 00:31:05.519
Yeah.
817
00:31:05.559 --> 00:31:06.480
Do you know what I'm saying?
818
00:31:06.500 --> 00:31:08.359
But sometimes there's moral support, Rob.
819
00:31:08.380 --> 00:31:10.740
Yeah, I know that, but he sounds... No offence, he
820
00:31:10.769 --> 00:31:12.670
looks absolutely fucking devastated, the man.
821
00:31:12.680 --> 00:31:15.089
He looks like he's just come back from the fucking
822
00:31:15.130 --> 00:31:18.869
front line. Oh, my God! And then I saw, Rob,
823
00:31:18.910 --> 00:31:20.529
I saw your Instagram post.
824
00:31:20.569 --> 00:31:22.150
This is just before I think I had kids, or
825
00:31:22.230 --> 00:31:25.930
just after I had kids, which was... it was something
826
00:31:25.970 --> 00:31:28.839
about you know being 10 years or whatever it is
827
00:31:29.200 --> 00:31:30.400
and it was the best thing you've ever.
828
00:31:30.339 --> 00:31:32.680
Done but the hardest thing you've ever done yeah and
829
00:31:32.880 --> 00:31:34.299
I was like it can't be.
830
00:31:34.099 --> 00:31:37.490
That hard it's so much harder than my job.
831
00:31:37.529 --> 00:31:40.769
Yeah oh yeah it's so much harder it's so much
832
00:31:40.809 --> 00:31:43.670
harder It's actually mental.
833
00:31:43.869 --> 00:31:48.480
Particularly, let's be clear, our jobs. Yeah, our jobs. Some
834
00:31:48.519 --> 00:31:50.559
people's jobs are a lot more difficult than our jobs.
835
00:31:50.720 --> 00:31:53.440
Are you currently filming your show? You've got a reality
836
00:31:53.480 --> 00:31:56.930
show about having a baby. Three parts on Disney +.
837
00:31:56.809 --> 00:31:58.089
Is that being filmed at the moment?
838
00:31:58.190 --> 00:31:58.710
That is great.
839
00:31:58.730 --> 00:32:00.609
See, that's why he's good at his job. He finds
840
00:32:00.829 --> 00:32:02.130
that easier than parenting.
841
00:32:02.269 --> 00:32:05.690
It was also seamless. Yeah, yeah. I wouldn't even... It
842
00:32:05.710 --> 00:32:07.299
was like, it's a seamless... It's just a guy having
843
00:32:07.319 --> 00:32:09.940
a chat with another guy. Getting a few key details in.
844
00:32:10.200 --> 00:32:12.259
It does get annoying, actually, in day-to-day life. Rob will
845
00:32:12.279 --> 00:32:13.059
do that all the time.
846
00:32:13.079 --> 00:32:16.460
Yeah, exactly. He'll go, how's your tour? Calling a Bromley. No,
847
00:32:16.480 --> 00:32:19.220
I can't. And then he'll do the full... It's the
848
00:32:19.240 --> 00:32:21.410
full run. How's it going, then?
849
00:32:21.430 --> 00:32:25.269
Www.joshwillicombe.co.uk Scan the QR code for tickets.
850
00:32:26.069 --> 00:32:28.769
Are you filming that now, or has that been filmed?
851
00:32:28.789 --> 00:32:30.759
Or are you going to film it soon? What's happening?
852
00:32:30.990 --> 00:32:31.740
Thanks for asking, Rob.
853
00:32:33.960 --> 00:32:37.799
Apart from the promo reasons, obviously you've got the extra
854
00:32:38.000 --> 00:32:40.319
stress of most people having a baby.
855
00:32:40.339 --> 00:32:44.569
Do you have to wake up the camera crew at 2am? Guys,
856
00:32:44.710 --> 00:32:46.710
they came. He wants to be in every scene. That's
857
00:32:46.730 --> 00:32:49.720
why he's doing the feed. Fuck off, Sophie. Jamie's a...
858
00:32:49.930 --> 00:32:52.569
Look at me trying to breastfeed him on my tit.
859
00:32:53.769 --> 00:32:54.529
can do this.
860
00:32:54.789 --> 00:32:57.410
So yeah so we so we shot a Disney plus
861
00:32:57.809 --> 00:33:00.970
docu-series reality series which is a three part series which
862
00:33:01.509 --> 00:33:04.390
was following like Soph and I before she was pregnant
863
00:33:04.430 --> 00:33:07.150
yeah then so we were shooting it before during getting
864
00:33:07.190 --> 00:33:10.599
pregnant and then not well actually that's on a very
865
00:33:10.640 --> 00:33:11.519
different website.
866
00:33:11.220 --> 00:33:14.200
That's a 20 second cut scene not even that.
867
00:33:15.619 --> 00:33:19.220
Um so it was before conception yeah and then um
868
00:33:19.859 --> 00:33:22.490
when we were filming it so then fell pregnant so
869
00:33:22.509 --> 00:33:24.369
they were like oh my god well we should oh
870
00:33:24.430 --> 00:33:26.549
here we go follow and so it's kind of great
871
00:33:26.730 --> 00:33:29.690
for them so then we followed all the pregnancy and
872
00:33:29.730 --> 00:33:33.680
then a little bit after the pregnancy man i like
873
00:33:33.740 --> 00:33:36.940
women like i'm not just saying women are amazing like
874
00:33:37.500 --> 00:33:39.119
i've watched manosphere i know.
875
00:33:42.619 --> 00:33:43.730
I've seen the Louis 3 dot.
876
00:33:43.809 --> 00:33:46.630
I've seen the Louis 3 dot. Do you know the
877
00:33:46.670 --> 00:33:48.309
first British astronaut in space was actually a woman?
878
00:33:48.769 --> 00:33:49.569
Yeah, Helen Sharman.
879
00:33:49.609 --> 00:33:52.150
Thank you. Do you want to hear another interesting fact
880
00:33:52.190 --> 00:33:53.089
about her? Yeah.
881
00:33:53.630 --> 00:33:55.670
Because I was on a show with Helen Sharman, so
882
00:33:55.710 --> 00:33:58.750
I Wikipedia'd her. She invented the Cornetto.
883
00:33:58.769 --> 00:33:59.529
Really?
884
00:34:00.450 --> 00:34:02.970
And that's going to appeal to you because that's right
885
00:34:03.019 --> 00:34:03.599
in your biz.
886
00:34:03.720 --> 00:34:06.000
Cornettos don't have any milk in it.
887
00:34:07.119 --> 00:34:09.139
Okay, I didn't know that. I should have brought that
888
00:34:09.159 --> 00:34:09.440
up with her.
889
00:34:09.559 --> 00:34:12.960
Did you know that the person who invented the tampon
890
00:34:13.380 --> 00:34:13.840
was a man?
891
00:34:14.760 --> 00:34:16.610
Oh, all right.
892
00:34:16.909 --> 00:34:19.130
Maybe Louis Theroux needs to do a documentary on you, Jamie.
893
00:34:20.230 --> 00:34:23.710
Okay, anyway, so we were shooting this, so we shot
894
00:34:23.730 --> 00:34:25.949
the show, and then Sophie fell pregnant, and then we
895
00:34:25.989 --> 00:34:28.190
were shooting it during Sophie being pregnant, and then we
896
00:34:28.210 --> 00:34:28.849
shot a bit afterwards.
897
00:34:29.269 --> 00:34:31.949
And as I said, the pregnancy bit is kind of wild.
898
00:34:32.050 --> 00:34:34.699
Yeah, the personality can change due to the hormones and
899
00:34:34.739 --> 00:34:37.170
stuff as well, which couldn't. make the relationship a bit
900
00:34:37.210 --> 00:34:37.949
more testing.
901
00:34:38.769 --> 00:34:41.909
Or easier. I didn't say it was better or worse.
902
00:34:42.170 --> 00:34:42.389
Yeah.
903
00:34:42.909 --> 00:34:44.489
Sometimes you do a test and it's an easy test.
904
00:34:45.030 --> 00:34:46.730
Sometimes you do a test and you sort of do
905
00:34:46.750 --> 00:34:50.260
that test and go, is this the person I'm married? What?
906
00:34:50.380 --> 00:34:53.719
There was moments... It's just different types of tests. There
907
00:34:53.739 --> 00:34:56.300
was moments... There were like some moments where.
908
00:34:57.500 --> 00:34:59.199
It was, firstly, I just want to say, and Soph
909
00:34:59.219 --> 00:35:01.159
will be listening, Soph, I love you so much, and
910
00:35:01.199 --> 00:35:02.469
she was incredible, and she was amazing.
911
00:35:02.489 --> 00:35:03.489
Just edit that out, Michael.
912
00:35:03.909 --> 00:35:04.889
Don't edit that bit out, please.
913
00:35:05.690 --> 00:35:08.599
But there were some moments which were quite hectic, and
914
00:35:08.639 --> 00:35:14.119
I think because her body was changing, and... She also
915
00:35:14.139 --> 00:35:18.559
got something called pelvic synthesis, which is where her hip
916
00:35:18.599 --> 00:35:22.400
bone became really sore. She also, because she's quite slender,
917
00:35:22.800 --> 00:35:26.019
she was.
918
00:35:24.539 --> 00:35:27.260
Heavy on the front. So she went quite big. Heavy
919
00:35:27.739 --> 00:35:30.969
on the front. Yeah, that's how she wants me to
920
00:35:30.989 --> 00:35:33.590
describe it. Okay, fair enough. She's very heavy on the front.
921
00:35:34.570 --> 00:35:37.309
To the point that in the mornings, she couldn't get
922
00:35:37.329 --> 00:35:38.510
herself out of bed.
923
00:35:38.550 --> 00:35:39.650
So I had to.
924
00:35:39.969 --> 00:35:41.289
We thought at one point I was going to have
925
00:35:41.309 --> 00:35:43.530
to drill a piece of rope into the ceiling to.
926
00:35:43.289 --> 00:35:46.960
Pull herself out. And there was a lot of that.
927
00:35:47.019 --> 00:35:50.360
But then the real tough moments became quite testing because
928
00:35:50.380 --> 00:35:51.639
there were moments like she would.
929
00:35:52.699 --> 00:35:54.300
I would do something wrong to piss her off.
930
00:35:55.050 --> 00:35:58.530
And her reaction was like zero to 100, where she
931
00:35:58.570 --> 00:36:00.230
would say things suddenly.
932
00:36:00.010 --> 00:36:04.269
Like, I hate your parents. And I'd be like, whoa,
933
00:36:04.309 --> 00:36:06.130
where's that come from? But it was, yeah, it was
934
00:36:06.289 --> 00:36:09.010
wild and amazing. And the guys followed the whole.
935
00:36:09.889 --> 00:36:12.639
whole process of it which was really hard for Soph
936
00:36:12.840 --> 00:36:14.880
yeah because you're pregnant.
937
00:36:15.199 --> 00:36:16.920
You're signing up to a bit of a fluffy should
938
00:36:16.940 --> 00:36:18.380
we have kids we might want kids and all of
939
00:36:18.400 --> 00:36:20.679
a sudden it's real and it's your first time expecting
940
00:36:20.719 --> 00:36:22.599
a baby and she's got cameras there and it's really
941
00:36:22.619 --> 00:36:26.880
scary did they film the birth well they weren't in
942
00:36:27.320 --> 00:36:31.019
for the birth but GoPro on on your forehead but
943
00:36:31.550 --> 00:36:34.730
not the train spot but this is this is Francis
944
00:36:34.789 --> 00:36:40.079
Bourgeois great idea we've got Francis coming in We got
945
00:36:40.119 --> 00:36:41.449
Francis Bourgeois.
946
00:36:41.469 --> 00:36:42.809
What does it say? Bourgeois, yeah.
947
00:36:42.829 --> 00:36:45.550
We got Francis Bourgeois. The train is leaving the tunnel.
948
00:36:47.730 --> 00:36:57.340
Come on, Soph. We hired Francis Bourgeois as a cameo.
949
00:36:57.380 --> 00:36:59.019
Content's content.
950
00:37:01.070 --> 00:37:02.769
Also, you collab with him. That's huge.
951
00:37:02.809 --> 00:37:05.969
Yeah, yeah, yeah. You've gone viral. Yeah, yeah, it's huge.
952
00:37:06.010 --> 00:37:07.769
It's huge. It was a great decision.
953
00:37:08.030 --> 00:37:16.880
But we were in the hospital and we were trying
954
00:37:16.900 --> 00:37:18.440
to do it all natural and everything like that.
955
00:37:18.460 --> 00:37:22.159
And then they had to say it was an emergency C-section.
956
00:37:22.360 --> 00:37:22.530
Yeah.
957
00:37:23.269 --> 00:37:25.610
Which is really quite scary. Yeah. Like, oh my God,
958
00:37:25.769 --> 00:37:28.659
because you already... Tickling Francis is doing it. Francis is
959
00:37:28.679 --> 00:37:31.699
there with the cobra on. Don't give him the knife!
960
00:37:32.920 --> 00:37:33.880
And all his reactions.
961
00:37:35.880 --> 00:37:38.210
Anyway, that was quite scary. Yeah, it's awful, because that's
962
00:37:38.230 --> 00:37:40.690
what happened to us. And it's suddenly you're in an operation,
963
00:37:40.829 --> 00:37:43.329
and it's terrifying. But the whole thing is really scary.
964
00:37:44.010 --> 00:37:46.570
Because it's the only sort of situation where you feel
965
00:37:46.630 --> 00:37:50.420
completely out of control. Because you don't know, and I
966
00:37:50.460 --> 00:37:53.219
know a little bit about most things, like a little bit, right?
967
00:37:53.500 --> 00:37:56.820
When it comes to giving birth, I know nothing. So
968
00:37:56.840 --> 00:37:59.880
you're standing in the room, and what happened with Ziggy
969
00:38:00.340 --> 00:38:04.409
was there were complications, and they said, look, Soph, I
970
00:38:04.429 --> 00:38:05.570
know you want to do it natural, but I think
971
00:38:05.590 --> 00:38:06.510
you're going to have to change it up.
972
00:38:06.530 --> 00:38:09.449
You're going to have to do an emergency C-section. And
973
00:38:09.489 --> 00:38:11.010
she was so brave. I mean, it was like the
974
00:38:11.050 --> 00:38:13.150
most insane thing I've ever seen. Like so brave. I
975
00:38:13.610 --> 00:38:16.570
was in bits and I was trying, I had to
976
00:38:16.639 --> 00:38:18.820
keep like telling, I was like, why is my eyes?
977
00:38:18.840 --> 00:38:20.860
It's like Noah's Ark. I was like, Oh my God,
978
00:38:20.900 --> 00:38:21.920
this is like actually embarrassing.
979
00:38:21.940 --> 00:38:24.119
Um, and then by the time they said we have
980
00:38:24.139 --> 00:38:26.079
to do emergency C-section to the point where you're in
981
00:38:26.099 --> 00:38:28.010
your scrubs in there, it's like five minutes.
982
00:38:28.610 --> 00:38:29.989
It's so quick. So quick.
983
00:38:30.610 --> 00:38:33.130
They really take the word emergency seriously, don't they? And
984
00:38:33.610 --> 00:38:37.550
then our amazing... Take your AirPods out.
985
00:38:37.570 --> 00:38:40.730
This is the fast service from Zone 6 to London.
986
00:38:41.789 --> 00:38:45.920
And then our amazing... So quick. It's a bullet train.
987
00:38:46.579 --> 00:38:48.360
What's the doctor who does it all called?
988
00:38:48.400 --> 00:38:48.719
Surgeon?
989
00:38:49.099 --> 00:38:49.900
No, it's called the.
990
00:38:50.000 --> 00:38:51.320
Oh, right. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
991
00:38:51.360 --> 00:38:52.780
The doctor who did it was amazing. He came in
992
00:38:52.840 --> 00:38:54.659
listening to music to calm himself down.
993
00:38:54.679 --> 00:38:55.820
To calm himself down?
994
00:38:55.860 --> 00:38:57.239
Yeah, he was listening to music, but he was incredible.
995
00:38:57.260 --> 00:38:59.800
Like a footballer. of the coach in a way game.
996
00:38:59.659 --> 00:39:02.050
Like what you were doing Jamie Lungs baby I'll give
997
00:39:02.070 --> 00:39:05.190
you the fucking headphones so we had that in so
998
00:39:05.210 --> 00:39:07.570
then we were there and no one was filming it
999
00:39:07.610 --> 00:39:09.309
because we didn't want cameras in but one of the
1000
00:39:09.409 --> 00:39:12.849
midwives who was this amazing lady incredible she picked up
1001
00:39:13.070 --> 00:39:15.829
my phone and started recording.
1002
00:39:15.690 --> 00:39:18.420
The whole thing oh wow so she it was like
1003
00:39:18.579 --> 00:39:22.130
it was like Martin Scorsese had, like, directed it.
1004
00:39:22.170 --> 00:39:22.710
It was insane.
1005
00:39:22.730 --> 00:39:25.420
So film the whole thing. What angle is she getting there?
1006
00:39:25.440 --> 00:39:27.260
She's right in there. It's also landscape.
1007
00:39:28.119 --> 00:39:31.380
It wasn't well that's not good for insta no but
1008
00:39:31.440 --> 00:39:35.000
for tv it was.
1009
00:39:34.920 --> 00:39:37.469
Insane but guys it's insane so what what we what
1010
00:39:37.510 --> 00:39:39.590
was captured was like this pure it was CK.
1011
00:39:39.469 --> 00:39:42.429
Barry wasn't it the mid one yeah it's just whole
1012
00:39:42.469 --> 00:39:44.849
set up But she was filming it, so the reaction
1013
00:39:44.889 --> 00:39:47.969
was like, it was so insane and real.
1014
00:39:48.070 --> 00:39:49.690
Yeah. Because we didn't realise we were being filmed.
1015
00:39:49.710 --> 00:39:51.550
Because it's just someone you trust amid rifle with your phone.
1016
00:39:51.590 --> 00:39:53.000
But we didn't know she was filming it.
1017
00:39:53.079 --> 00:39:55.519
Oh, really? So everything was so real.
1018
00:39:55.739 --> 00:39:58.840
And when Ziggy came out and everything's okay, and that
1019
00:39:58.860 --> 00:40:00.559
whole bit when you're just waiting for the cry.
1020
00:40:00.579 --> 00:40:02.300
And how graphic was the filming?
1021
00:40:02.840 --> 00:40:05.099
You don't see anything, but you see Ziggy being taken
1022
00:40:05.119 --> 00:40:07.179
up through the tummy.
1023
00:40:07.420 --> 00:40:07.940
Oh, my God.
1024
00:40:07.980 --> 00:40:09.900
Yeah, it was a lot. And then you hear the cry.
1025
00:40:09.920 --> 00:40:13.110
Which hand were you... I went down Bottom End to
1026
00:40:13.150 --> 00:40:15.050
have a look, and there was quite a lot. Because
1027
00:40:15.070 --> 00:40:17.309
the caesarean ulcer, they really open up your tummy.
1028
00:40:17.670 --> 00:40:17.909
Yeah.
1029
00:40:18.690 --> 00:40:19.090
But we feel.
1030
00:40:19.150 --> 00:40:22.170
And then that's also now in the show. Wow.
1031
00:40:28.940 --> 00:40:30.699
So you're all sleeping in the same bed. Yes.
1032
00:40:30.719 --> 00:40:31.559
Are you getting much sleep?
1033
00:40:32.019 --> 00:40:32.679
Not really.
1034
00:40:32.820 --> 00:40:36.219
At the moment, it was going well. With my three-year-old,
1035
00:40:36.460 --> 00:40:40.000
when she was an infant, she nursed all the time.
1036
00:40:40.039 --> 00:40:40.400
Like, she.
1037
00:40:41.280 --> 00:40:43.579
Even when I was sleeping, she like I was just
1038
00:40:43.659 --> 00:40:44.480
a pacifier.
1039
00:40:44.719 --> 00:40:45.679
Right.
1040
00:40:45.920 --> 00:40:48.920
So this baby is like he's such a boy.
1041
00:40:49.019 --> 00:40:52.360
Like he like he eats and then he like rolls
1042
00:40:52.500 --> 00:40:53.659
over and farts.
1043
00:40:53.400 --> 00:40:56.539
And falls asleep. He's an old man already.
1044
00:40:56.559 --> 00:40:57.510
Yeah.
1045
00:40:57.800 --> 00:41:00.719
And that was lovely because I was like, great, he's
1046
00:41:00.760 --> 00:41:03.489
asleep and I'm not attached to him. And now that
1047
00:41:03.510 --> 00:41:07.550
he's getting a bit he's a bit older, he I
1048
00:41:07.590 --> 00:41:09.570
feel like he needs to he wants to eat more
1049
00:41:09.650 --> 00:41:12.099
at night. So he kind of, he wakes up a
1050
00:41:12.119 --> 00:41:13.800
little bit more than he was before.
1051
00:41:13.820 --> 00:41:16.880
And how long did you breastfeed the youngest, sorry, the oldest?
1052
00:41:17.099 --> 00:41:18.159
Two years and a couple months.
1053
00:41:18.360 --> 00:41:20.389
Yeah, so that's a long time. And then going into another,
1054
00:41:20.409 --> 00:41:22.590
it's like a lot of your body being used.
1055
00:41:22.670 --> 00:41:23.250
By someone else.
1056
00:41:23.289 --> 00:41:24.510
I've been pregnant or breastfeeding.
1057
00:41:24.530 --> 00:41:26.010
Before we get to the belly button.
1058
00:41:26.269 --> 00:41:26.550
Yeah.
1059
00:41:26.570 --> 00:41:27.530
Yeah, exactly.
1060
00:41:28.269 --> 00:41:30.730
I've been pregnant and breastfeeding since 2022. Wow.
1061
00:41:31.210 --> 00:41:36.840
Because by the time I stopped breastfeeding my three-year-old, I
1062
00:41:37.519 --> 00:41:38.500
was already pregnant.
1063
00:41:38.679 --> 00:41:42.960
And was that your two-year-old just didn't want it anymore?
1064
00:41:43.019 --> 00:41:44.719
Or did you have to sort of, because she was
1065
00:41:44.800 --> 00:41:48.000
using breastfeeding as a pacifier, did you have to break that?
1066
00:41:48.059 --> 00:41:49.000
Was it difficult?
1067
00:41:49.539 --> 00:41:52.739
By the time we stopped, it was she wasn't doing
1068
00:41:52.800 --> 00:41:54.820
as much anymore. She was kind of weaning herself.
1069
00:41:54.840 --> 00:41:55.179
Yeah.
1070
00:41:55.360 --> 00:41:58.949
And then the worst part, it was flights because it
1071
00:41:58.989 --> 00:42:01.469
was always something that kind of like on takeoff and
1072
00:42:01.530 --> 00:42:02.150
landing or.
1073
00:42:02.170 --> 00:42:03.309
Oh, it makes you feel better.
1074
00:42:03.739 --> 00:42:05.849
Yeah, it would just, like, make her pass out.
1075
00:42:05.869 --> 00:42:07.369
And then when they get to two, though, because they're, like,
1076
00:42:07.389 --> 00:42:09.230
bowling around like a little person, they'll just literally go
1077
00:42:09.269 --> 00:42:10.949
up to you and grab your top and, like, whip
1078
00:42:11.010 --> 00:42:11.329
a boobie.
1079
00:42:11.349 --> 00:42:12.809
You're like, no, stop.
1080
00:42:12.969 --> 00:42:15.530
Well, she had, oh, this was worse. I forgot about this.
1081
00:42:16.650 --> 00:42:19.469
She did a thing before the belly button. She used
1082
00:42:19.489 --> 00:42:21.329
to do a thing just with my nipple. She would
1083
00:42:21.429 --> 00:42:23.050
use it as, like, a, I swear it was like
1084
00:42:23.090 --> 00:42:24.289
she was tuning a radiator.
1085
00:42:24.489 --> 00:42:28.550
It was like. And it's semi-skimmed. Yeah, yeah.
1086
00:42:29.789 --> 00:42:31.829
Not quite the flavor I like.
1087
00:42:31.869 --> 00:42:34.269
Do you do strawberry?
1088
00:42:34.730 --> 00:42:39.570
Yeah. And that was awful. I really hated that.
1089
00:42:39.760 --> 00:42:40.360
It's so hard, though.
1090
00:42:40.380 --> 00:42:42.000
If they're doing something that they enjoy and you want
1091
00:42:42.019 --> 00:42:44.199
to go like, I mean, obviously, as a man, they're
1092
00:42:44.219 --> 00:42:45.719
experiencing it, but you don't want to be like, get
1093
00:42:45.739 --> 00:42:46.480
the fuck off me.
1094
00:42:46.539 --> 00:42:48.599
But that's how you feel. But you want to have
1095
00:42:48.739 --> 00:42:49.380
a connection.
1096
00:42:49.420 --> 00:42:51.440
Yeah, you have to be nice about it. Because you
1097
00:42:51.519 --> 00:42:53.880
also don't want to shame them, you know, and make
1098
00:42:53.900 --> 00:42:54.960
them feel, so don't.
1099
00:42:54.840 --> 00:42:59.099
Listen to this. Yeah. I guess.
1100
00:42:59.139 --> 00:43:03.000
Never listen to this episode.
1101
00:43:03.320 --> 00:43:06.960
Yeah, and you don't want to yell at them, because
1102
00:43:07.320 --> 00:43:14.880
they don't understand that it's torture. But yeah, it's a
1103
00:43:14.909 --> 00:43:17.730
lot of your body. It's a lot of your body being.
1104
00:43:19.190 --> 00:43:24.289
I woke myself up, because I was dreaming that there
1105
00:43:24.309 --> 00:43:24.960
was birds....
1106
00:43:26.489 --> 00:43:28.159
On me. Yeah, okay.
1107
00:43:28.179 --> 00:43:31.059
And I woke up going, stop. And I was hitting
1108
00:43:31.119 --> 00:43:31.739
my body.
1109
00:43:31.760 --> 00:43:35.119
And it was just because my daughter was trying to
1110
00:43:35.139 --> 00:43:35.900
belly button me.
1111
00:43:36.079 --> 00:43:36.679
Oh, really?
1112
00:43:37.099 --> 00:43:38.420
And I was like, oh, my God.
1113
00:43:38.719 --> 00:43:42.340
I'm having like stress dreams.
1114
00:43:42.920 --> 00:43:45.639
It must be so overwhelming having your body being used
1115
00:43:45.699 --> 00:43:46.940
and touched all the time by it.
1116
00:43:47.099 --> 00:43:49.280
It's difficult because it's not like you go, well, there's
1117
00:43:49.300 --> 00:43:51.539
lots of books about how you end breastfeeding.
1118
00:43:51.559 --> 00:43:53.159
But there's not many books about how you end breastfeeding.
1119
00:43:53.670 --> 00:43:54.730
having your belly button touched.
1120
00:43:54.829 --> 00:43:57.010
Right, it's not a weaning situation.
1121
00:43:57.050 --> 00:44:00.530
You can't be like, here, have some milk in a
1122
00:44:00.570 --> 00:44:02.250
cup instead of my belly button.
1123
00:44:02.269 --> 00:44:05.650
The addiction is to the action rather than the... It's
1124
00:44:05.690 --> 00:44:06.050
just a.
1125
00:44:06.210 --> 00:44:09.150
Yeah, oh. I don't think we have to throw addicts around.
1126
00:44:09.710 --> 00:44:13.530
Oh, I think you've got a problem here. I think
1127
00:44:13.550 --> 00:44:17.130
the Betty Ford clinic might be.
1128
00:44:17.349 --> 00:44:19.510
I think she needs to go cold turkey on belly
1129
00:44:19.550 --> 00:44:20.429
buttons completely.
1130
00:44:20.550 --> 00:44:21.489
You know, I've thought.
1131
00:44:21.309 --> 00:44:24.829
About wearing like a one-piece... Yeah, like.
1132
00:44:24.690 --> 00:44:27.929
A kind of 80s aerobics instructor.
1133
00:44:27.949 --> 00:44:30.260
Yeah, just something she can't. Like in the summer, it
1134
00:44:30.300 --> 00:44:33.199
was great because I was wearing a swimsuit.
1135
00:44:33.650 --> 00:44:33.760
A lot.
1136
00:44:33.989 --> 00:44:34.329
Oh, yeah.
1137
00:44:34.670 --> 00:44:37.309
So she couldn't get to my belly button as much.
1138
00:44:37.349 --> 00:44:39.010
Yeah. Oh, my God.
1139
00:44:39.070 --> 00:44:40.090
What a sentence.
1140
00:44:40.969 --> 00:44:44.329
We're parenting most people like routines key and king. For you,
1141
00:44:44.349 --> 00:44:46.989
you're constantly moving around. And I say if your husband's
1142
00:44:47.050 --> 00:44:49.719
flying around working a lot and you're with the nannies.
1143
00:44:50.179 --> 00:44:51.599
So do you just sort of roll with it and
1144
00:44:51.619 --> 00:44:53.679
see what happens? Or do you have a routine with
1145
00:44:53.699 --> 00:44:55.699
the kids? Or is it each day is a different
1146
00:44:55.719 --> 00:44:56.800
day when you're touring?
1147
00:44:57.079 --> 00:45:01.579
We have a semblance of a routine, you know, like
1148
00:45:01.659 --> 00:45:05.179
it's I try to keep it as routine as possible
1149
00:45:05.340 --> 00:45:08.980
with it being also as flexible as I need it
1150
00:45:09.000 --> 00:45:12.619
to be. So like, you know, mornings, I would say
1151
00:45:12.699 --> 00:45:15.619
are like are are kind of always are quiet. Like
1152
00:45:16.579 --> 00:45:19.280
this is my time with the kids and like we
1153
00:45:19.300 --> 00:45:22.659
get up, we have breakfast. We you know, I try
1154
00:45:22.699 --> 00:45:24.320
to get them outside for a little bit.
1155
00:45:25.599 --> 00:45:25.980
And then.
1156
00:45:26.869 --> 00:45:28.889
You know, I try to meal times. I try to
1157
00:45:28.909 --> 00:45:34.309
keep as normal as possible. But it's really hard to
1158
00:45:34.369 --> 00:45:36.159
be strict about.
1159
00:45:36.179 --> 00:45:37.159
Yeah.
1160
00:45:37.280 --> 00:45:40.000
Anything, you know, like it's just like, oh, we're traveling
1161
00:45:40.059 --> 00:45:44.159
today or. So you can't nap or we got to eat,
1162
00:45:45.119 --> 00:45:47.230
you know, whenever we can at the airport.
1163
00:45:47.309 --> 00:45:48.869
And do you get them with the nannies in it?
1164
00:45:48.889 --> 00:45:51.070
Do they speak English as well? Yeah.
1165
00:45:51.150 --> 00:45:52.329
I've never once spoken to them.
1166
00:45:52.570 --> 00:45:59.769
Pass their boarding passes to them.
1167
00:46:00.960 --> 00:46:01.800
I assume they're all right.
1168
00:46:01.860 --> 00:46:02.320
Yeah, yeah.
1169
00:46:02.340 --> 00:46:04.199
I just nodded a lot in the interview.
1170
00:46:04.239 --> 00:46:05.429
No, they're great.
1171
00:46:05.449 --> 00:46:07.090
But you're like a little gang now. It's almost like
1172
00:46:07.110 --> 00:46:09.309
a band touring, like, with you and the kids. You
1173
00:46:09.469 --> 00:46:11.769
all get on and stuff. Because it's quite an intense relationship.
1174
00:46:12.030 --> 00:46:12.809
We have a great time.
1175
00:46:12.829 --> 00:46:16.690
I mean, they're, you know, especially because, you know, here
1176
00:46:16.710 --> 00:46:20.780
in London, we all stay together. So, yeah, I mean,
1177
00:46:20.800 --> 00:46:23.119
I think, I hope they like me.
1178
00:46:23.260 --> 00:46:28.619
And when you're doing tour shows, are they coming to the, how,
1179
00:46:28.659 --> 00:46:29.400
so say you're in London.
1180
00:46:30.250 --> 00:46:34.159
Let's go through your tour dates. Say you're in.
1181
00:46:34.179 --> 00:46:37.360
Because, you know, now you can come in if you
1182
00:46:37.380 --> 00:46:38.960
need to breastfeed or whatever. But if you're doing a
1183
00:46:39.019 --> 00:46:42.159
gig and a show, really, you can't. Or will, can you?
1184
00:46:42.219 --> 00:46:43.559
Or do you interrupt the show for that?
1185
00:46:43.820 --> 00:46:44.340
I haven't.
1186
00:46:44.559 --> 00:46:46.239
So I will.
1187
00:46:47.179 --> 00:46:49.889
Once I start touring, the new one will be over
1188
00:46:49.949 --> 00:46:52.489
six months. So he'll be able to have kind of
1189
00:46:52.570 --> 00:46:53.769
like some water and.
1190
00:46:53.769 --> 00:46:54.570
Food and stuff.
1191
00:46:54.590 --> 00:46:58.050
So it won't be as super necessary to keep him
1192
00:46:58.429 --> 00:47:02.380
as close by. Never had to interrupt a gig for it.
1193
00:47:02.719 --> 00:47:03.179
No.
1194
00:47:03.360 --> 00:47:05.469
They have been in the green room before.
1195
00:47:05.489 --> 00:47:10.150
So say June the 11th when you're in Swindon.
1196
00:47:10.329 --> 00:47:10.550
Yes.
1197
00:47:11.050 --> 00:47:13.869
How's that? The Wyvern. Old faithful.
1198
00:47:14.769 --> 00:47:15.989
Doing the tour. Best job in the world.
1199
00:47:17.289 --> 00:47:18.010
Tell us about the show.
1200
00:47:18.349 --> 00:47:20.510
Best job in the world is a show about how
1201
00:47:20.869 --> 00:47:22.250
maybe motherhood is not.
1202
00:47:22.130 --> 00:47:24.809
The best job in the world. Oh, there we go.
1203
00:47:24.889 --> 00:47:29.599
But also just about society and, you know, I think
1204
00:47:29.760 --> 00:47:32.449
a little bit of the thesis statement I have is
1205
00:47:32.469 --> 00:47:34.969
that society is not made for women, and we've kind
1206
00:47:35.010 --> 00:47:37.960
of contoured ourselves to fit in. But also, I don't
1207
00:47:37.980 --> 00:47:40.570
think society is made for men either. And you guys
1208
00:47:40.630 --> 00:47:41.489
are having a hard time.
1209
00:47:41.889 --> 00:47:47.400
Do you know what? Genuinely, premises on stand-up shows very
1210
00:47:47.440 --> 00:47:49.880
rarely interest me. And I buy into that.
1211
00:47:49.960 --> 00:47:52.460
You've just done what the people do in our comments.
1212
00:47:52.820 --> 00:47:54.059
You what? I didn't think I'd like you.
1213
00:47:55.239 --> 00:47:57.849
No, I just said I didn't think I liked stand-up premises.
1214
00:47:58.570 --> 00:47:59.590
But you've broken the mould.
1215
00:48:00.090 --> 00:48:01.769
Oh, thank you.
1216
00:48:01.789 --> 00:48:04.070
So you'll be doing that at the Swindon Wiver, June 11th.
1217
00:48:05.239 --> 00:48:06.980
Talk me through the kids on that day.
1218
00:48:07.219 --> 00:48:10.679
So this is how we've planned this section of the tour.
1219
00:48:10.719 --> 00:48:13.500
And for everyone who's mentioned, why am I not going
1220
00:48:13.539 --> 00:48:15.719
further north? Because this first whole section.
1221
00:48:15.739 --> 00:48:19.730
Well, let me go. Swindon, Northampton, Chelmsford, Epsom, Poole. You
1222
00:48:19.789 --> 00:48:27.869
really are keeping it south. Milton Keynes, Watford, Coventry, quite northerly. Farnham, London,
1223
00:48:28.010 --> 00:48:31.809
back to your old stomping grounds. London again. Brighton, Newbury, Bath.
1224
00:48:32.349 --> 00:48:37.030
Norwich, Norwich. Bristol, Cheltenham. Yeah, that is incredibly south.
1225
00:48:37.190 --> 00:48:39.909
Yeah, so this whole first leg of the tour is
1226
00:48:39.989 --> 00:48:43.400
just everything I can get from London to the show
1227
00:48:43.460 --> 00:48:44.239
and back.
1228
00:48:45.559 --> 00:48:46.480
In one night.
1229
00:48:46.760 --> 00:48:47.599
Oh, here we go.
1230
00:48:47.940 --> 00:48:48.880
The radius tour.
1231
00:48:48.980 --> 00:48:49.280
Yes.
1232
00:48:51.340 --> 00:48:53.980
Everything within a two to three hour travel time.
1233
00:48:55.989 --> 00:48:58.190
Um, and that.
1234
00:48:58.070 --> 00:49:01.500
Way I can leave the, the baby and the one
1235
00:49:01.539 --> 00:49:04.360
nanny will come with me just for feeding purposes.
1236
00:49:04.380 --> 00:49:04.659
Yeah.
1237
00:49:05.159 --> 00:49:07.519
Uh, the toddler and the other nanny will stay back
1238
00:49:07.800 --> 00:49:08.340
at the flat.
1239
00:49:08.360 --> 00:49:09.079
Can I ask a question?
1240
00:49:09.119 --> 00:49:11.619
Do the nannies, are they on a man to man
1241
00:49:11.679 --> 00:49:14.190
marking constantly or do they switch?
1242
00:49:14.250 --> 00:49:15.670
No, right now they're man to man.
1243
00:49:15.710 --> 00:49:18.690
Yeah. So one's toddler, one's baby and they never switch. Yeah.
1244
00:49:18.730 --> 00:49:19.369
They don't switch.
1245
00:49:19.750 --> 00:49:26.480
Um, And they realized recently that the babies also have
1246
00:49:26.539 --> 00:49:32.559
an affinity for the nannies. And we've realized recently that they're...
1247
00:49:33.630 --> 00:49:35.190
Their signs are the same.
1248
00:49:36.639 --> 00:49:40.119
My nanny and my toddler are both Capricorns. Oh, there
1249
00:49:40.139 --> 00:49:43.340
we go. And the new baby and my other nanny
1250
00:49:43.400 --> 00:49:45.340
are both... I can't remember the.
1251
00:49:45.619 --> 00:49:48.619
Sign because I don't really buy into that too much.
1252
00:49:48.639 --> 00:49:49.039
When is it?
1253
00:49:49.119 --> 00:49:50.429
October, early October.
1254
00:49:50.550 --> 00:49:51.849
Pisces? Libra?
1255
00:49:51.949 --> 00:49:52.469
Libra.
1256
00:49:52.730 --> 00:49:54.449
Don't know. Taurus?
1257
00:49:54.489 --> 00:49:55.369
Just one of them.
1258
00:49:56.030 --> 00:50:00.440
So you'll go in a car with your... A tour
1259
00:50:00.460 --> 00:50:01.280
manager driving you?
1260
00:50:01.500 --> 00:50:01.760
Yes.
1261
00:50:02.559 --> 00:50:04.519
Nanny, infant, me.
1262
00:50:04.780 --> 00:50:05.679
Yeah.
1263
00:50:05.719 --> 00:50:09.420
We go to the gig, feed the baby before I
1264
00:50:09.440 --> 00:50:10.320
go on stage.
1265
00:50:10.500 --> 00:50:11.440
Do you need a lot of.
1266
00:50:11.699 --> 00:50:15.050
Because I don't necessarily need to be on my own,
1267
00:50:15.070 --> 00:50:20.429
but I need to almost be doing mindless stuff, like
1268
00:50:20.489 --> 00:50:23.570
looking at my phone or looking at my phone, really.
1269
00:50:24.050 --> 00:50:26.590
He needs to sit on his own in a room
1270
00:50:26.630 --> 00:50:28.230
looking at his phone before he goes on. No, but
1271
00:50:28.250 --> 00:50:29.179
do you know what I mean? I.
1272
00:50:29.800 --> 00:50:32.550
In that hour before, it's not like I'm prepping for
1273
00:50:32.570 --> 00:50:33.590
the show or anything.
1274
00:50:33.610 --> 00:50:35.829
Yeah, no, I would love that.
1275
00:50:36.989 --> 00:50:40.989
A little bit of space.
1276
00:50:41.190 --> 00:50:42.969
I would absolutely love that time.
1277
00:50:42.989 --> 00:50:46.940
I imagine you've never gone, finally, I can breastfeed just
1278
00:50:46.960 --> 00:50:47.800
before I go on.
1279
00:50:47.840 --> 00:50:50.000
Yes.
1280
00:50:50.119 --> 00:50:53.730
I think that someday in the future, I... I will
1281
00:50:53.769 --> 00:50:57.380
have it again. But I love those moments. I love
1282
00:50:57.460 --> 00:51:01.039
the because I do the mindless kind of I've always
1283
00:51:01.179 --> 00:51:03.139
thought there's a hard thing to explain about stand up
1284
00:51:03.219 --> 00:51:05.739
where it doesn't look like you're doing anything and you
1285
00:51:06.019 --> 00:51:08.480
aren't doing anything, but you are doing something.
1286
00:51:08.679 --> 00:51:09.010
Yes.
1287
00:51:09.139 --> 00:51:11.929
You're getting your mind ready.
1288
00:51:11.989 --> 00:51:16.829
Yeah. I almost power down in that hour before. Yeah.
1289
00:51:17.309 --> 00:51:19.570
I think people imagine you pacing, listening to.
1290
00:51:19.590 --> 00:51:21.969
No, I find I have to get as quiet and
1291
00:51:22.159 --> 00:51:25.139
empty-headed as possible so that then I can go out and.
1292
00:51:25.239 --> 00:51:28.159
But that's because your stuff is quite empty-headed, too.
1293
00:51:28.559 --> 00:51:33.849
Yeah. You have to get in character. Information out of here.
1294
00:51:33.869 --> 00:51:36.530
Let's get it all out there so we can engage
1295
00:51:36.550 --> 00:51:37.389
with the comedy.