S9 EP6: Joe Marler

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Hello I'm Rob Beckett and I'm Josh Willicombe. Welcome to
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Parenting Hell the show in which Josh and I discuss
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what it's really like to be a parent which I
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would say can be a little tricky.
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So to make ourselves and hopefully you feel better about
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the trials and tribulations of modern day parenting each week
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we'll be chatting to a famous parent about how they're.
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Coping or hopefully how they're not coping.
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And we'll also be hearing from you the listener with
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your tips advice and of course tales of parenting.
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Woe because let's be honest there are plenty of times
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where none of us know what we're doing Hello, you're
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listening to Parenting Hell with.
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Elliot.
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Can you say Rob Beckett? Rob Beckett. And can you
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say Josh?
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Josh.
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Widdicombe.
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Widdicombe.
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Well done.
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Well done, Elliot.
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I did it.
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I did it. In the middle like that.
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I did it.
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Leave me alone.
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Come on, woman, leave me alone.
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Back off, mum.
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Get off my case. This is my nephew, Elliot. He doesn't,
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she's not even his mum. He's like, for fuck's sake,
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aren't he?
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Yeah, look, coming round here, I see once every six months,
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now you want to get your gob on a podcast
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to listen to. Put a shift in. I mean, I'm
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making that up. She might be really involved.
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So apologies. Well, let's see.
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This is my nephew, Elliot, who will be three in October.
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This is the first time I met him. He was
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trying to tell me about the vending machine Nana got
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his chocolate buns from in between saying your names. Elliot
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is one of those annoying children that eats everything, and
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if you tried to test him with a prawn, he'd
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bite your hand off.
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Loves a prawn.
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I don't have kids, but I love being an auntie
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to Elliot and his cousin Rosie, who's almost one.
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Yeah, is almost one year old.
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Oh, who's almost one?
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What did you think it was, like a deeper philosophical,
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she's almost one?
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No, it's like, I don't have kids, but I love
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being an auntie to Elliot and his cousin Rosie, who's
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almost one.
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I thought she meant he's doing almost a kid. Oh, right.
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I was like... What is she like? A kind of.
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Almost my niece.
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Yeah, almost my niece. I wasn't sure a parenting podcast
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was for me, but then you interviewed Tom Allen. I
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was hooked.
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Fair enough.
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There we go.
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That was early doors as well.
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That was early doors. Thanks for the last. Kate from
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Birmingham and Elliot from... Oh, sorry. Redditch.
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I wouldn't have got that anyway. Redditch. Been there. Done
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a gig there.
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Where is it?
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I'll tell you what, though. Do you want me to
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Google it? Are we doing it? Redditch.
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Yeah.
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Let's find out. Let's... I was in Andover the other day. Oh, yeah.
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Andover the Lights.
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Yep.
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Good venue, that. There's no Nando's in Andover. You have
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to go to Basingstoke.
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No Nandover.
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How did I not do that?
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Go back, Rob. Rebook.
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Right.
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We're doing it again, Andover. If I had a bloody
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time machine, I'd go back and do that. Redditch is
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south of Birmingham, near Worcester.
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Oh, nice.
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Royal Edmonton Spa, Kidderminster, all that malarkey. Yeah, no, they
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had a fake Nando's called Frango's.
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Ah, how was it?
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But it was decent, actually, because basically there's a big
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Portuguese community in Andover because they moved there to pick watercress,
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which some lady called Mary told me. It sounded like
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she'd been in Andover forever.
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Rob.
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Yes, what's going on?
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Can I talk to you about stand-up comedy?
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Is there a big exciting announcement?
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There is a big exciting announcement. I've kept this under wraps, Rob. Really?
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I don't know what it could be. Go on.
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Yeah.
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I've decided not to go on tour.
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Right, okay, sure.
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Good decision.
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I saw a couple of the previews. I think it's
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the right thing to do. You don't overstretch yourself. You
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don't really love it anymore. Good decision.
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No, I'm going on tour. I'm incredibly excited, Rob.
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Great idea.
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I think you've been loving it. You're better than ever.
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Great show's coming up. Why not really take it to
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the rest of the country? Good for you.
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So, I've been told to announce it exclusively on the
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podcast today.
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Ooh!
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Right, first question. Dynamic pricing?
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Yeah. It starts at £ 1 and it goes up to £ 6.
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No, you're not doing... You're just doing a flat fee.
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I'm not doing dynamic pricing. I'm not doing dynamic pricing. So,
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whatever you do, don't get in early.
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Leave.
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Leave it late, you'll be fine. No, I will sell out.
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Where are you playing? Can I see your dates? Have
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you got your dates?
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No.
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What's the tour called?
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The tour is called Not My Cup of Tea.
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Not My Cup of Tea.
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It's a very Josh Whittakin title. I'm excited about the poster.
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I don't know what I'm meant to say, Rob.
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Are you drinking tea?
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I am drinking tea on the poster, Rob. I went
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all the way to Margate. To drink tea.
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Sat down on a... I think you're going to be
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sat down on a deck chair or something seaside-y with
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a cup of tea.
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No, it's in a house. Let me find it.
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Why did you go to Margate for a house?
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Because it was like we wanted a really old-style house
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and it was easier to find one and go there
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than build one in a studio.
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Right.
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You should have just gone round Tom Allen's house.
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Yeah, I should have just gone round Tom Allen's house.
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But his fees are too high. Ever since he knows
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that his appearance on this podcast got us listeners, he's
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been absolutely.
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While we're plugging, Robert Romesh, watch that.
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Oh, you're on my Sky TV thing this morning.
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Oh, really? Heavy metal?
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Yeah.
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Anyway, let's get back to your tour.
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Yeah, well, it's actually quite good that you're filling it
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in because my agent's currently typing in response to what
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do I need to say about the tour.
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She said, for which app? And I said, this Friday.
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And now she's typing.
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Are you worried that Not My Cup of Tea is
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going to be really easy for... reviewers to use against.
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You uh well i don't care about the reviewers rob.
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Okay why are you telling me that by staring me
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dead in the eye sat forward because.
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I'm hard right because i'm hard you.
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Don't care at all about reviewers if there's a review
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of your tour show will you read it no no
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i haven't.
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Read a review of my tour show in over a
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decade really so if i'm making all the same mistakes
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every time i do apologize to.
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Everyone But it's less mentally exhausting for Josh to read
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through them all. Sorry, so what was the announcement? Where
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are you going?
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What are you doing?
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The reason I don't care what reviewers say about that
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title is if they're going to hate me, they're going
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to hate me. They're not going to go, if they
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use the title against me, fine.
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Okay.
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I also think if it's not your cup of tea, fine.
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It either is your cup of tea or it isn't
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your cup of tea. If you're listening to this podcast,
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it's your cup of tea.
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Yes.
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Yeah.
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So, not my words, the words of my agent.
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That's a funny tour title.
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What?
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Not my words.
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Not my words.
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Not my jokes.
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It goes on sale next week.
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Sign up to my mailing list on my website and
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you will access the pre-sale. So, I'm not doing dynamic pricing, obviously,
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because I didn't know it existed until a week ago,
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so I didn't have the option.
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But if you.
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Sign up before 9am on Thursday the 19th, then you
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will get the first dibs on tickets.
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And without blowing smoke up your butt, you're not doing arenas,
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so the tours will sell out straight away. And then
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it will.
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You'd hope so.
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It will. And the other option is it will sell
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out and then you might be able to put on
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an extra night. But if your schedule's too busy, you
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probably won't. So you do need to get in quite
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quick when they're in theatres because they have such a
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strong mailing list on their own. So if you do
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want to see Josh, I would recommend.
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Get in ahead of the theatre because I want the
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fans and me rather than just people that happen to
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live there to come.
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Because that's what happens.
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But I will take them. I will take them.
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And over the lights. No one at that gig last
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night has bought tickets to the tour. They only come
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and saw me because it was a five-minute walk from
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their house.
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Yeah, yeah.
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That's how touring works in the beginning.
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Yeah, when you're doing the small venues, you're just the
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thing that's happening in the town. But now, hopefully.
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It's me, Peter Andre, T-Rex tribute.
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Yeah, exactly.
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Frangos. Quick frangos.
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So, go to joshwidicom. That's the difficult bit for me, Rob.
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It can't be. Is it. co.
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Uk or is it.
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Com?
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I'll be honest with you, I don't visit it much.
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Is it on your homepage? It's on my bookmarks, actually.
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Oh, I've just had some more confirmed, some dates.
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Well, tell us where you're going.
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Name me a place.
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Okay, Inverness.
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Yes, that's one of the ones I've just had confirmed.
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Do you know what? I'd advise you to not do
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this because I said I was doing Woking and I'm
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not doing Woking. I still get people from Woking going.
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I'm doing Eden Court in Inverness, but that isn't on
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this leg of the tour.
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Right, okay, but at some point you'll be doing Inverness.
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Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
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So if you live in Inverness, for the love of God,
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don't buy tickets to Andover because you feel I won't arrive.
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Apart from that, apparently... They've got a new thing in
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the office, Rob.
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Yeah.
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They plot all the things on a map and it
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shows the hot spots around the country.
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So that everywhere is covered by dates.
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Really? A bit like a COVID outbreak, that map.
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Exactly, yeah.
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Lovely.
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And so there will be dates near you.
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Great.
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Good announcement. So basically, bottom line is sign up to
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the pre-sale link and then actual information will get to you.
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Sign up to my mailing list on joshwidicom.com.
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There we go.
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Josh Widicom, comedian and presenter. I'm Googling it. That's a gamble.
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For fuck's sake, the first picture is a cutout of
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my face from Celebrity Cutouts.
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00:08:23.709 --> 00:08:26.850
JoshWillicombe.com. And it'll come up at the bottom. Sign up
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00:08:26.870 --> 00:08:29.350
to mailing list. Just put your email in there. What's
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00:08:29.370 --> 00:08:30.610
your email, Rob? Just read it out.
262
00:08:30.970 --> 00:08:32.769
Oh, my God. The photo of you is awful. And
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00:08:32.789 --> 00:08:34.710
the first image on Google, isn't it?
264
00:08:34.769 --> 00:08:36.549
It's fucking terrible, isn't it?
265
00:08:36.750 --> 00:08:40.220
That's an awful first one. I know there's some great
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00:08:40.279 --> 00:08:42.700
photos of you. Is there?
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00:08:42.720 --> 00:08:44.350
I don't really want to look, do I?
268
00:08:44.580 --> 00:08:47.139
I could be here for... Oh, we've got Silly Wankerat
269
00:08:47.220 --> 00:08:50.139
from the university. We've got one where you literally look
270
00:08:50.139 --> 00:08:52.259
25 stone heavier. And I don't know when that was.
271
00:08:52.679 --> 00:08:53.620
When was that?
272
00:08:53.659 --> 00:08:56.159
I've never seen you that heavy. If you Google Josh
273
00:08:56.179 --> 00:08:57.840
Widdicombe and just go straight to images, right?
274
00:08:57.899 --> 00:08:58.679
Yeah, I've done that.
275
00:08:58.840 --> 00:09:02.879
First row, fine. Absolutely textbook Josh Widdicombe. Second row, fine
276
00:09:02.919 --> 00:09:04.340
as well. A couple of nice ones of you in rows.
277
00:09:04.899 --> 00:09:07.600
Third row's decent as well. Fourth row is when you're
278
00:09:07.600 --> 00:09:09.019
25 stone. You look like Jeffro.
279
00:09:09.840 --> 00:09:10.240
Far left.
280
00:09:11.250 --> 00:09:13.389
And then you've got Celiac and then you've just got
281
00:09:13.409 --> 00:09:15.149
a few of you looking a bit confused.
282
00:09:15.269 --> 00:09:16.049
Fucking hell.
283
00:09:16.549 --> 00:09:18.889
Look at this one.
284
00:09:19.690 --> 00:09:20.830
Fucking Nora.
285
00:09:20.889 --> 00:09:21.230
Which one?
286
00:09:21.250 --> 00:09:22.429
Look at the size of me here.
287
00:09:23.009 --> 00:09:24.690
Is it you sat with a blue open shirt?
288
00:09:25.850 --> 00:09:27.289
What's happening there?
289
00:09:27.409 --> 00:09:28.269
You look big there.
290
00:09:28.429 --> 00:09:29.440
What is going on?
291
00:09:29.450 --> 00:09:31.610
Are you on steroids or something? You know sometimes steroids
292
00:09:31.649 --> 00:09:32.190
can bloat you out.
293
00:09:32.210 --> 00:09:32.950
What's going on?
294
00:09:32.990 --> 00:09:34.649
Because you don't look like, you look bloat, you just
295
00:09:34.669 --> 00:09:35.769
look bigger all over.
296
00:09:36.009 --> 00:09:38.970
Right, we're going to put that on. I've just put
297
00:09:38.990 --> 00:09:43.309
it on our group. Why do you look so big?
298
00:09:45.159 --> 00:09:46.700
I was bigger at a point, Rob.
299
00:09:46.740 --> 00:09:48.720
Your head looks bigger. You don't look overweight. It's just
300
00:09:48.820 --> 00:09:51.259
everything's bigger. That's got to be something with a camera
301
00:09:51.279 --> 00:09:53.340
in it. What's that from Sunday brunch? How much did
302
00:09:53.379 --> 00:09:53.710
you eat?
303
00:09:54.789 --> 00:09:56.289
I think it's Good Morning Britain, isn't it?
304
00:09:56.289 --> 00:09:57.970
It's not wearing a good morning that day.
305
00:09:58.210 --> 00:10:01.399
It's ITVX. Catch Josh Willey come on tour. God, that
306
00:10:01.419 --> 00:10:05.019
was my last tour. Fucking hell. Well, this tour I'm
307
00:10:05.039 --> 00:10:07.259
going to look a bit lighter on my feet.
308
00:10:07.419 --> 00:10:09.970
Did you have your appendix out in 2019?
309
00:10:09.970 --> 00:10:11.289
Yeah. Sorry, what are you doing?
310
00:10:11.389 --> 00:10:13.049
Let's just come up. There's a photo of you with
311
00:10:13.070 --> 00:10:20.779
double thumbs up in a hospital gown. Oh, yeah. There
312
00:10:21.399 --> 00:10:23.179
you go.
313
00:10:23.399 --> 00:10:26.320
True. True. Oh, my God.
314
00:10:26.639 --> 00:10:28.659
Right, guest this week, Josh. I'm excited about this guest.
315
00:10:28.950 --> 00:10:30.070
Yeah, yeah, yeah. So good.
316
00:10:30.110 --> 00:10:32.789
I think he's a great guy. I absolutely hate his sport,
317
00:10:33.049 --> 00:10:36.149
which is rugby, so we won't bog him down talking
318
00:10:36.169 --> 00:10:39.250
about that. However, great guy, very funny, very likeable, has
319
00:10:39.269 --> 00:10:41.779
his own podcast. I'm a big Joe Marla fan already.
320
00:10:42.019 --> 00:10:43.879
We haven't recorded this as of yet, have we, Rob?
321
00:10:44.000 --> 00:10:45.549
No, so by the end of it, I might have
322
00:10:45.590 --> 00:10:48.309
changed my mind. But pre-show, I'm buzzing to meet Joe Marla.
323
00:10:48.669 --> 00:10:49.330
Yeah, can't wait.
324
00:10:49.549 --> 00:10:50.389
Right, here's Joe Marla.
325
00:10:50.409 --> 00:10:50.769
Bring him on.
326
00:10:52.009 --> 00:10:56.110
Joe Marla, welcome to Parenting Hell. We should inform the
327
00:10:56.149 --> 00:10:59.860
listeners that you are at Harlequin's training ground. Would that
328
00:10:59.899 --> 00:11:00.320
be correct?
329
00:11:00.700 --> 00:11:01.740
Yep, that's where I'm at.
330
00:11:02.220 --> 00:11:04.899
And behind you is two massive photos of, I imagine,
331
00:11:04.919 --> 00:11:06.320
rugby legends that I don't know.
332
00:11:06.340 --> 00:11:09.720
No, it's just one. It's the same bloke. But different ages.
333
00:11:09.740 --> 00:11:12.000
Bloody hell. He looks better as an old bloke, doesn't he?
334
00:11:12.080 --> 00:11:14.299
I'll pass that on to him, but he's dead, so
335
00:11:14.320 --> 00:11:16.000
he probably won't get the message.
336
00:11:16.740 --> 00:11:20.299
Is that the original Harley Quinn that the team's named after?
337
00:11:20.830 --> 00:11:24.980
It's one of the big Harley Quinns. His name's Waffle Wakefield.
338
00:11:25.100 --> 00:11:25.539
What a name.
339
00:11:25.840 --> 00:11:26.720
Okay, I don't know anything.
340
00:11:26.740 --> 00:11:27.419
Did I play with him?
341
00:11:27.559 --> 00:11:29.679
Was that going to be your next bit?
342
00:11:29.720 --> 00:11:30.360
No, no, no.
343
00:11:30.399 --> 00:11:32.320
Super aggressive start to the episode.
344
00:11:32.600 --> 00:11:35.120
Was he your apprentice that used to do your boots? Yeah,
345
00:11:35.159 --> 00:11:37.320
Waffle Wakefield. So now I'm in a.
346
00:11:37.259 --> 00:11:38.419
Google Waffle Wakefield.
347
00:11:38.539 --> 00:11:39.129
So you're a trainer?
348
00:11:39.149 --> 00:11:40.610
He was born in Beckenham. Go on, Waffle.
349
00:11:40.629 --> 00:11:44.509
Oh, bloody hell. I'm not sure he spoke like you, mate.
350
00:11:45.330 --> 00:11:45.669
Hang on.
351
00:11:46.070 --> 00:11:47.470
Well, I don't want to go in too hard in
352
00:11:47.490 --> 00:11:49.409
case he did something really important, but he only played
353
00:11:49.409 --> 00:11:51.129
29 times and there's a double picture of him, but
354
00:11:51.149 --> 00:11:51.779
I need to find out.
355
00:11:51.789 --> 00:11:54.470
He probably was an administrator then, didn't he? No, no, no.
356
00:11:54.850 --> 00:11:57.629
They only played like twice or three times a year
357
00:11:57.690 --> 00:11:59.230
back then. Oh, right.
358
00:11:59.549 --> 00:11:59.870
Okay.
359
00:11:59.889 --> 00:12:01.289
But it's up to you. If you want to mock
360
00:12:01.330 --> 00:12:06.129
the dead, that's completely on you. Do you know what?
361
00:12:06.269 --> 00:12:09.159
That's on me. He was a conservative politician as well.
362
00:12:09.259 --> 00:12:11.620
So Tory in rugby. It's weird though, because a lot
363
00:12:11.639 --> 00:12:13.720
of the lads in it are quite normal, but the
364
00:12:13.740 --> 00:12:15.990
top brass is a, I don't know why we've gone
365
00:12:16.009 --> 00:12:17.590
down the political route. How many kids you got, Joe?
366
00:12:19.029 --> 00:12:23.190
I thought it was a parenting podcast.
367
00:12:26.769 --> 00:12:28.639
Joe, how do you get away with this? You know,
368
00:12:28.679 --> 00:12:30.820
your proper job is a rugby player and then you've
369
00:12:30.860 --> 00:12:33.139
got a podcast on the side, which eventually will be
370
00:12:33.179 --> 00:12:34.779
like your full-time job, I imagine.
371
00:12:34.799 --> 00:12:35.679
Which is massive.
372
00:12:36.000 --> 00:12:38.440
It's huge. You know, I'm a bigger fan of your
373
00:12:38.480 --> 00:12:41.460
podcast than the whole of rugby, personally.
374
00:12:41.620 --> 00:12:44.200
I wouldn't have ever guessed that from the opening gambit
375
00:12:44.240 --> 00:12:44.519
from you.
376
00:12:48.039 --> 00:12:49.179
So how do you get away with doing all your
377
00:12:49.200 --> 00:12:50.759
podcast stuff when you're supposed to? Do they not get
378
00:12:50.779 --> 00:12:52.580
a hump with this or are you sneaking out? What's
379
00:12:52.620 --> 00:12:53.019
going on?
380
00:12:53.340 --> 00:12:53.600
No.
381
00:12:53.679 --> 00:12:55.759
Well, they do get the hump. The amount of warnings
382
00:12:55.820 --> 00:12:58.419
I've had, I think I'm on my final written warning. Right.
383
00:12:58.980 --> 00:13:02.340
But I do things really quietly and I'm injured at
384
00:13:02.379 --> 00:13:05.700
the minute as well. So I just, I was meant
385
00:13:05.720 --> 00:13:08.580
to be back already. So I should be like with
386
00:13:08.639 --> 00:13:10.840
the team and that. But I got my kids to
387
00:13:10.879 --> 00:13:13.200
jump up and down on my foot. Right.
388
00:13:13.220 --> 00:13:13.840
Good idea.
389
00:13:13.879 --> 00:13:16.179
To make it longer. Yeah. So we're trying to get
390
00:13:16.240 --> 00:13:19.039
past Christmas here. So I've got my own schedule. So
391
00:13:19.080 --> 00:13:21.899
that's how I sneak about getting it. But it's a
392
00:13:21.919 --> 00:13:23.840
bit of a juggling act sometimes, but the club have
393
00:13:23.860 --> 00:13:26.730
been very good to me or, you know, just ignored
394
00:13:26.759 --> 00:13:28.509
me because they see me more of a hassle than
395
00:13:28.909 --> 00:13:30.620
to get involved in trying to stop me doing it.
396
00:13:30.649 --> 00:13:33.210
But yeah, I like doing it. Mixing up rugby and
397
00:13:33.230 --> 00:13:34.460
a bit of podcasting. I love it.
398
00:13:34.870 --> 00:13:35.690
How many kids you got, Joe?
399
00:13:35.870 --> 00:13:36.289
Talk us through.
400
00:13:36.309 --> 00:13:37.409
Let's get the facts out first.
401
00:13:37.629 --> 00:13:41.049
I've got four kids. Oh, I've got four kids. I've
402
00:13:41.080 --> 00:13:43.639
got a 10 year old boy, an eight year old girl.
403
00:13:44.299 --> 00:13:46.740
a five-year-old boy and a three-year-old girl.
404
00:13:47.179 --> 00:13:49.139
You close your eyes as if deep in thought at
405
00:13:49.179 --> 00:13:49.740
that moment.
406
00:13:50.019 --> 00:13:52.740
Because it gets to the point where you go, hang on,
407
00:13:53.639 --> 00:13:55.899
what are their names again? And what are their ages?
408
00:13:55.919 --> 00:13:58.100
I had to like just concentrate on getting it right.
409
00:13:58.360 --> 00:14:01.139
I'm now considering calling my wife and going, am I
410
00:14:01.200 --> 00:14:03.840
sure that they're this old and it's definitely four and
411
00:14:03.860 --> 00:14:06.200
they're definitely all mine? Like, what's the crack? But that
412
00:14:06.220 --> 00:14:07.440
would start up a different fight.
413
00:14:07.460 --> 00:14:08.659
Are you going to go for a fifth?
414
00:14:09.399 --> 00:14:09.500
Um.
415
00:14:10.500 --> 00:14:12.879
I'd like to. Really? Really?
416
00:14:13.039 --> 00:14:14.980
Is that because you're always playing rugby or doing a podcast?
417
00:14:15.039 --> 00:14:15.799
You never have to do any.
418
00:14:16.059 --> 00:14:17.200
Well, there's the beauty, isn't it?
419
00:14:17.299 --> 00:14:17.899
There's the beauty.
420
00:14:18.659 --> 00:14:21.590
You go, it must be so hard having so many kids.
421
00:14:21.789 --> 00:14:24.649
It's the hecticness of it. And I'm like, I'm away
422
00:14:24.730 --> 00:14:27.330
for six months of the year. So yeah, it's really hard.
423
00:14:27.549 --> 00:14:29.769
So how does your partner deal with it then? Well,
424
00:14:29.929 --> 00:14:34.320
she's a fucking superstar. I've always described her as someone
425
00:14:34.360 --> 00:14:36.059
that was like born to be a mum, but I
426
00:14:36.100 --> 00:14:39.720
don't know whether that description was at the very start or...
427
00:14:40.360 --> 00:14:43.440
That's what I've sort of forced down her head to
428
00:14:43.840 --> 00:14:47.799
justify just going away all the time to do this.
429
00:14:47.850 --> 00:14:49.730
This is what you're, you're amazing at it. This is
430
00:14:49.769 --> 00:14:52.029
what you're born to do. You crack on, let's have
431
00:14:52.070 --> 00:14:53.990
another one and then I'll fuck off again.
432
00:14:54.590 --> 00:14:57.250
But then does she agree with that or does she
433
00:14:57.289 --> 00:14:57.629
love it?
434
00:14:58.370 --> 00:15:00.840
No, she does love it, mate. She's amazing. You can
435
00:15:00.879 --> 00:15:03.039
joke when people go, what do you do? She's like, well,
436
00:15:03.080 --> 00:15:03.600
I'm a mum.
437
00:15:04.100 --> 00:15:04.580
Yeah.
438
00:15:04.799 --> 00:15:05.080
Oh yeah.
439
00:15:05.120 --> 00:15:07.519
But what do you do? She's like, What else can
440
00:15:07.580 --> 00:15:07.860
I do?
441
00:15:09.139 --> 00:15:09.980
Force, force.
442
00:15:10.019 --> 00:15:13.179
She hasn't got time to fart, mate, let alone fucking
443
00:15:13.200 --> 00:15:13.860
do another job.
444
00:15:14.279 --> 00:15:15.759
Well, I do think it's a weird thing because back
445
00:15:15.799 --> 00:15:19.179
in the 90s, if your mum was a career woman
446
00:15:19.259 --> 00:15:21.830
and she went out and worked, she was judged like, oh,
447
00:15:21.850 --> 00:15:23.649
don't care about your kids. You're not looking after them.
448
00:15:24.110 --> 00:15:26.570
And now I feel like it's great because obviously it's
449
00:15:26.730 --> 00:15:29.850
swung a bit where women have got more opportunities like
450
00:15:30.029 --> 00:15:33.490
in traditional careers and not being a mum and staying
451
00:15:33.509 --> 00:15:35.559
at home. But then if you are staying at home
452
00:15:35.600 --> 00:15:37.500
looking after the kids, there's almost like a judgment of like, oh,
453
00:15:37.580 --> 00:15:38.200
and you haven't got.
454
00:15:38.159 --> 00:15:38.879
A career as well.
455
00:15:39.080 --> 00:15:41.679
And there's like a kind of, if you ask someone
456
00:15:41.710 --> 00:15:43.629
what they do, like if you're asking them, if you're
457
00:15:43.649 --> 00:15:45.990
doing a gig or something and someone's a mum or
458
00:15:46.009 --> 00:15:49.110
a dad, they'll always say just a, won't they? And
459
00:15:49.129 --> 00:15:52.080
you're like dismissing it themselves because they feel like it's
460
00:15:52.169 --> 00:15:52.840
not enough.
461
00:15:52.860 --> 00:15:53.559
Do you know what I mean?
462
00:15:53.580 --> 00:15:56.860
Yeah. They're almost too scared to just say, I'm just
463
00:15:56.899 --> 00:16:00.009
a mum. Like, well, hang on. Try doing the parenting.
464
00:16:00.029 --> 00:16:01.950
I don't know what the situation is with you two
465
00:16:02.009 --> 00:16:04.549
and how much you actually try doing the parenting job
466
00:16:04.769 --> 00:16:07.330
or that role. Whenever I joke with her, I go, right,
467
00:16:07.370 --> 00:16:09.629
I've got to go out and work. She's like, yeah,
468
00:16:09.710 --> 00:16:12.169
fucking work. Like you're sitting on your ass at fucking
469
00:16:12.210 --> 00:16:14.110
rugby all the time or you're going podcasting. It's not
470
00:16:14.149 --> 00:16:16.090
really work. I'm like, well, it's sort of paying for
471
00:16:16.110 --> 00:16:18.769
the house, so we'll crack on with it. Or maybe
472
00:16:18.820 --> 00:16:21.460
we could swap roles. Like you do my job and
473
00:16:21.500 --> 00:16:24.639
I'll do your day-to-day stuff. And she goes, all right then. Yeah, cool.
474
00:16:25.379 --> 00:16:26.279
To be fair, she's.
475
00:16:26.179 --> 00:16:27.980
Playing the same amount of rugby as you at the moment.
476
00:16:30.639 --> 00:16:31.100
Very good.
477
00:16:33.120 --> 00:16:37.509
Fucking hell, is this my wife Daisy in Rob Beckett form?
478
00:16:38.070 --> 00:16:39.970
You know, you don't actually fucking do anything. I could
479
00:16:40.009 --> 00:16:41.850
do what you do. You plod around a rugby field
480
00:16:41.889 --> 00:16:43.950
and then punch someone occasionally and get banned.
481
00:16:44.009 --> 00:16:44.970
So, right, okay.
482
00:16:46.169 --> 00:16:47.980
It's a skill. It's an unappreciated skill, I think.
483
00:16:48.000 --> 00:16:50.399
But then doing the role reverse, I'm like, fucking hell,
484
00:16:50.419 --> 00:16:53.720
you're right. Never dream of mocking the situation of you're
485
00:16:53.759 --> 00:16:55.980
sitting on your arse all the time because it's non-stop fire.
486
00:16:56.019 --> 00:16:56.179
No.
487
00:16:56.909 --> 00:16:59.029
At that age as well, because you've got the little
488
00:16:59.110 --> 00:17:01.129
one that's three, not at school yet, that's running around
489
00:17:01.169 --> 00:17:02.990
being mental. And then you've also got to make sure
490
00:17:03.009 --> 00:17:05.130
the kids are in school with the right stuff for
491
00:17:05.150 --> 00:17:08.630
the right thing. Four different drop-offs, four different pickups. I
492
00:17:08.670 --> 00:17:11.069
struggle with the logistics. Obviously, Lou takes more of the
493
00:17:11.109 --> 00:17:12.549
lead because I'm away quite a lot. But when I'm
494
00:17:12.589 --> 00:17:14.890
at home, I'm like on it. But it's like the
495
00:17:14.930 --> 00:17:17.150
logistics of getting them to and from. Do you do
496
00:17:17.170 --> 00:17:18.779
a lot of school drop offs and stuff?
497
00:17:18.970 --> 00:17:20.859
Yeah, I try as much as I can. Yeah, no,
498
00:17:20.920 --> 00:17:22.700
I get involved as much as I can, mate. I
499
00:17:22.720 --> 00:17:25.299
love it. We didn't have four kids to just fuck
500
00:17:25.339 --> 00:17:27.920
him off and get everyone else to do everything. We
501
00:17:27.940 --> 00:17:30.500
had them because we wanted kids young and we wanted
502
00:17:30.539 --> 00:17:31.980
to sort of grow up with them a little bit.
503
00:17:32.019 --> 00:17:33.180
And we're still kind of doing that.
504
00:17:33.380 --> 00:17:34.839
So you were 24 when you had your first?
505
00:17:35.539 --> 00:17:37.220
Was I 24? Yeah, I was 24.
506
00:17:37.220 --> 00:17:38.990
Yeah, yeah. I know you better than you know you.
507
00:17:39.289 --> 00:17:39.950
Thank you.
508
00:17:41.119 --> 00:17:43.980
Yeah, it was 24 when we had Jasper. And then
509
00:17:44.519 --> 00:17:46.559
all our mates around us were like, what are you doing?
510
00:17:46.819 --> 00:17:48.640
And I was like, well, what do you mean what
511
00:17:48.660 --> 00:17:51.130
we're doing? It's great. And how do you know it's shit?
512
00:17:51.349 --> 00:17:53.789
Because you lot haven't got kids. And they're like, yeah,
513
00:17:53.809 --> 00:17:55.789
but look how great our life is without kids. And
514
00:17:55.809 --> 00:17:58.430
I'm like, yeah, it's a good point. But we're just
515
00:17:58.450 --> 00:18:00.470
going to have a great life with the kids. So
516
00:18:01.759 --> 00:18:06.549
we tried as hard as possible early on. still like
517
00:18:06.630 --> 00:18:09.109
doing everything with all our mates, like going down the
518
00:18:09.130 --> 00:18:11.490
pipe or whatever, and then just taking the kids with us.
519
00:18:12.410 --> 00:18:14.849
And Jasper, the eldest, sort of experienced a lot of that.
520
00:18:14.890 --> 00:18:17.230
He'd come to everything and they'd be like, what the fuck?
521
00:18:17.250 --> 00:18:18.410
And then it got to the point it was the
522
00:18:18.470 --> 00:18:20.869
second and then you get to the third and then
523
00:18:20.910 --> 00:18:22.910
the group of mates are a little bit like, we
524
00:18:22.950 --> 00:18:25.730
love your kids and we love you guys, but like
525
00:18:25.759 --> 00:18:31.579
you're sort of ruining our night now. Do you mind
526
00:18:31.640 --> 00:18:35.150
just maybe like dipping out of this Friday night or...
527
00:18:35.779 --> 00:18:38.220
Pipping out of the weekend away with the couples and
528
00:18:38.240 --> 00:18:40.380
you're like, cool, we're going to go find some new
529
00:18:40.640 --> 00:18:41.380
parent friends.
530
00:18:41.799 --> 00:18:43.299
Yeah, because you have to at that age, really, because
531
00:18:43.319 --> 00:18:45.740
your mates are so far off. Because 24 is quite
532
00:18:45.779 --> 00:18:48.400
young for our generation to have kids, isn't it?
533
00:18:48.720 --> 00:18:50.609
I wanted to ask you boys, how many kids have
534
00:18:50.630 --> 00:18:52.990
you got each? Two each.
535
00:18:53.230 --> 00:18:54.329
So together we've got four.
536
00:18:54.789 --> 00:18:56.849
Together you've got four, cool. You know when you go
537
00:18:56.910 --> 00:18:59.559
away and stuff? What the fuck? What's the matter with you?
538
00:18:59.980 --> 00:19:02.819
You're just funny. You're just funny. You're funny. And the
539
00:19:02.900 --> 00:19:05.089
fact that when you're just talking about going away with
540
00:19:05.109 --> 00:19:07.789
four kids, I'm just already excited to hear how awful
541
00:19:07.809 --> 00:19:08.029
it is.
542
00:19:08.390 --> 00:19:10.950
No, I'm not saying about going away. I meant when
543
00:19:10.970 --> 00:19:12.170
you go away and do your gigs.
544
00:19:12.250 --> 00:19:12.890
Right. Sorry.
545
00:19:12.990 --> 00:19:14.970
Do you do your bits in that lot? Do you
546
00:19:15.009 --> 00:19:19.089
find yourselves like getting that guilt at all? Yeah. Totally.
547
00:19:19.150 --> 00:19:24.349
Totally beset by guilt. You're like, oh, fucking hell. But
548
00:19:24.390 --> 00:19:26.470
you're also fighting the fact that you're like, I'm going
549
00:19:26.509 --> 00:19:28.950
to do a gig and do what I love. yeah
550
00:19:29.089 --> 00:19:30.509
do you know and then you go that doesn't help
551
00:19:30.549 --> 00:19:32.630
the guilt that doesn't help no but you get to
552
00:19:32.650 --> 00:19:34.430
forget it for a minute and then when you realize
553
00:19:34.579 --> 00:19:36.359
fucking hell this is amazing like you're in front of
554
00:19:36.819 --> 00:19:39.819
thousands of people making them all laugh and then you
555
00:19:39.839 --> 00:19:42.130
get flicked back to going oh fuck the missus at
556
00:19:42.130 --> 00:19:44.779
home and probably clearing up a shit on the floor
557
00:19:44.779 --> 00:19:46.730
or yeah one of the kids is punch the other
558
00:19:46.829 --> 00:19:49.359
one and thing and you're there like oh work's really
559
00:19:49.410 --> 00:19:52.160
tough it was a tough crowd tonight but actually it
560
00:19:52.200 --> 00:19:54.500
was the night your life do you ever find yourself
561
00:19:54.539 --> 00:19:56.059
maybe telling a poor i suppose.
562
00:19:55.859 --> 00:19:59.519
The problem for you is your results are published so
563
00:19:59.799 --> 00:20:03.140
like you can't go it was a bad match when
564
00:20:03.559 --> 00:20:04.920
you've won well.
565
00:20:04.779 --> 00:20:08.680
You say that just but they still publish rugby results Excellent.
566
00:20:08.859 --> 00:20:13.519
He's still going with it. But you do say they
567
00:20:13.559 --> 00:20:17.779
are published, but fortunately, like my wife has never taken
568
00:20:17.819 --> 00:20:20.569
an interest in rugby whatsoever. We got together at school.
569
00:20:21.230 --> 00:20:24.529
It was never like a wag situation because let's face it,
570
00:20:24.589 --> 00:20:26.269
I was never going to nail down a wag was
571
00:20:26.329 --> 00:20:28.799
I look at the state of the fucking face on it.
572
00:20:29.009 --> 00:20:30.829
It was more a case. She still doesn't know the
573
00:20:30.869 --> 00:20:33.390
rules of the game. So I can come back. She
574
00:20:33.430 --> 00:20:36.170
doesn't even fucking watch the games. Yeah. I can come
575
00:20:36.210 --> 00:20:38.289
and there's no way she's looking on BBC sport for
576
00:20:38.309 --> 00:20:41.009
the results. I could come back and say, look, love,
577
00:20:41.230 --> 00:20:43.380
it was great. We won 50 now. I scored five
578
00:20:43.440 --> 00:20:46.579
tries at like dream. And then she'll go, that's great.
579
00:20:46.980 --> 00:20:50.240
Can you do the dinner? Or that's great. Jasper's punched
580
00:20:50.279 --> 00:20:52.539
his sister. Can you go and sort that out? Like, yeah,
581
00:20:53.000 --> 00:20:55.259
which is brilliant. Cause then I get to switch off
582
00:20:55.359 --> 00:20:58.869
completely from the sort of rugby persona to then just
583
00:20:58.900 --> 00:21:00.240
going back to being normal.
584
00:21:00.269 --> 00:21:03.700
I think it was, Less interest in your career out
585
00:21:03.740 --> 00:21:10.180
of your children and your wife, because I realized my
586
00:21:10.220 --> 00:21:12.589
children are never interested in my work. I don't think
587
00:21:12.630 --> 00:21:15.670
they ever will be. And I think that's quite healthy.
588
00:21:16.450 --> 00:21:19.450
I suppose rugby is more exciting than your dad being
589
00:21:19.480 --> 00:21:20.380
a knobhead on TV.
590
00:21:20.930 --> 00:21:23.059
Kids aren't in favour of you being a knobhead on TV.
591
00:21:23.079 --> 00:21:24.980
Do you know what? They're not that fussed whether I've
592
00:21:25.000 --> 00:21:28.140
done The Wheel with Michael McIntyre. They're not really aware.
593
00:21:28.619 --> 00:21:30.619
No. But if you did a show that they did then,
594
00:21:30.660 --> 00:21:33.309
you know. But it's more impressive to show rugby highlights
595
00:21:33.809 --> 00:21:36.230
to your kid than a witty line on Last Leg
596
00:21:36.269 --> 00:21:37.049
at 11pm.
597
00:21:37.250 --> 00:21:39.230
My kids never say, how was work?
598
00:21:39.710 --> 00:21:39.890
No.
599
00:21:40.029 --> 00:21:43.140
They haven't got an interest. The kids always go... why
600
00:21:43.200 --> 00:21:46.109
are you going to work? Or what are you going
601
00:21:46.130 --> 00:21:49.349
to work for? Don't go. Or Jasper, my eldest who
602
00:21:49.650 --> 00:21:52.930
loves sport, absolutely loves it, but he loves football. He's
603
00:21:52.970 --> 00:21:53.829
hardcore football.
604
00:21:53.890 --> 00:21:54.329
Good guy.
605
00:21:55.609 --> 00:21:58.950
And not bothered in the slightest. And also like, then
606
00:21:58.990 --> 00:22:03.730
just antagonized me mainly about like rivals, like Saracens. He'll
607
00:22:03.750 --> 00:22:09.000
support Saracens. He'll ask for a Saracens kit for Christmas
608
00:22:09.079 --> 00:22:11.529
or something like that. And then I'm like, are you
609
00:22:11.569 --> 00:22:13.910
seriously fucking winding me up? So he takes a bit
610
00:22:13.970 --> 00:22:15.690
more of an interest in it, but more so that
611
00:22:15.710 --> 00:22:19.069
he can pick holes and wind up. Like the fact
612
00:22:19.109 --> 00:22:21.789
that I've never scored a try for England. He's like, mate,
613
00:22:21.829 --> 00:22:24.359
you're not a real rugby player because you can't score.
614
00:22:24.859 --> 00:22:27.839
And I'm like, he brings me back down to earth
615
00:22:27.880 --> 00:22:28.920
quite hard. And it's great.
616
00:22:28.960 --> 00:22:31.059
I love it. At school, there was two guys that
617
00:22:31.079 --> 00:22:34.380
were good at rugby. And basically in PE, they just
618
00:22:34.480 --> 00:22:35.339
run through.
619
00:22:35.119 --> 00:22:35.640
All of us.
620
00:22:36.460 --> 00:22:38.519
Was that what you were like? Were you just like
621
00:22:39.009 --> 00:22:40.910
massive and you just smashed everyone out of the way?
622
00:22:41.589 --> 00:22:45.190
No, I was wide. Fucking fat, actually. Why am I
623
00:22:45.230 --> 00:22:49.369
trying to be pitiful? I was fucking fat. Really? Like
624
00:22:49.390 --> 00:22:52.210
the weekly shot would be done on the Monday and
625
00:22:52.250 --> 00:22:54.930
all the fucking crisps, all the snacks, they're out, they're
626
00:22:54.970 --> 00:22:55.849
gone by Tuesday.
627
00:22:56.450 --> 00:22:58.150
So how did you sort of get into shape then
628
00:22:58.190 --> 00:23:01.109
and change out into muscle? You're trying to put yourself down.
629
00:23:01.349 --> 00:23:03.259
You know, you're in great shape.
630
00:23:03.589 --> 00:23:06.549
Yeah, it was about 14, 15 when all my mates
631
00:23:06.589 --> 00:23:09.210
were like talking about, oh, this girl. And then I'm like, oh,
632
00:23:09.289 --> 00:23:10.849
maybe I should try and lose a little bit of weight.
633
00:23:10.869 --> 00:23:13.670
So I started trying to run back home from school. Yeah.
634
00:23:14.130 --> 00:23:16.490
But within the first week, some of the older boys
635
00:23:16.549 --> 00:23:18.750
that are in sixth form, it's in this like tubby
636
00:23:18.809 --> 00:23:21.150
loser running down the road with his backpack and his
637
00:23:21.210 --> 00:23:25.130
PE kit. And then I just feel like, oh, wanker.
638
00:23:25.339 --> 00:23:27.579
And then just felt something hit me on the back.
639
00:23:28.190 --> 00:23:29.990
And I'm like, oh God, what? And then I get
640
00:23:30.049 --> 00:23:32.089
home and then parents are like, what's that on your
641
00:23:32.109 --> 00:23:35.490
back then? And they'd thrown like McDonald's, like sweet chili
642
00:23:35.509 --> 00:23:37.549
sauces and that, like open it, just thrown it on
643
00:23:37.569 --> 00:23:40.009
me like that. And then I was like, probably not
644
00:23:40.029 --> 00:23:43.069
going to take that route home running anymore. But the
645
00:23:43.109 --> 00:23:45.950
alternative was really hilly. So I was like, I'm not
646
00:23:45.990 --> 00:23:47.990
going to take that other route either because that's too
647
00:23:48.049 --> 00:23:50.339
fucking hard. So I just sacked it off. And then
648
00:23:50.390 --> 00:23:54.930
rugby sort of took off when I moved out at 16.
649
00:23:54.930 --> 00:23:55.819
Wow.
650
00:23:55.980 --> 00:23:59.259
If you're like footballer, you're identified from seven.
651
00:23:59.900 --> 00:24:00.160
Yeah.
652
00:24:00.240 --> 00:24:01.799
Is that not the case in rugby or were you
653
00:24:01.859 --> 00:24:03.380
kind of an exception?
654
00:24:04.160 --> 00:24:07.029
Rugby's different because it is so physical based.
655
00:24:07.490 --> 00:24:07.710
Yeah.
656
00:24:08.549 --> 00:24:11.789
You can identify an eight, nine, 10 year old kid
657
00:24:11.809 --> 00:24:16.029
who's pretty good, pretty skillful, but they're small. And then
658
00:24:16.049 --> 00:24:17.430
you've got to sort of wait out a bit. Are
659
00:24:17.450 --> 00:24:19.279
they going to have a lack growth spurt? Are they
660
00:24:19.299 --> 00:24:21.440
going to get a beard? Are they going to like
661
00:24:21.799 --> 00:24:24.200
talk deep or something like that? So you have to
662
00:24:24.240 --> 00:24:26.640
wait a little bit and see what the physical outcome
663
00:24:26.680 --> 00:24:28.380
is of them. And rugby is a bit later because,
664
00:24:28.400 --> 00:24:31.119
I don't know, it's just later because no one really
665
00:24:31.140 --> 00:24:34.240
likes it. There's not as many people. The reason you
666
00:24:34.269 --> 00:24:36.960
start with fucking six, seven-year-old kids at football is because
667
00:24:37.029 --> 00:24:40.450
every fucker plays it. You have to. You have to
668
00:24:40.490 --> 00:24:42.450
start them early because everyone wants to poach them early.
669
00:24:42.769 --> 00:24:45.390
Are any of your kids showing the signs that they
670
00:24:45.450 --> 00:24:46.490
could be good at rugby?
671
00:24:46.869 --> 00:24:51.730
Well, my eldest daughter, Maggie, she has got a massive back.
672
00:24:52.329 --> 00:25:01.589
What the fuck? I mean, I don't even know what
673
00:25:01.630 --> 00:25:03.990
that means. It's got a really good.
674
00:25:04.410 --> 00:25:06.430
Does that not mean you've got a big front as well?
675
00:25:06.529 --> 00:25:09.210
No, no, she hasn't actually. In fairness to her, it's
676
00:25:09.230 --> 00:25:11.380
like she's got a massive back. She's got a great
677
00:25:11.500 --> 00:25:12.400
frame to her back.
678
00:25:12.599 --> 00:25:13.059
Yeah.
679
00:25:13.339 --> 00:25:17.059
And I said to my wife, I went, Daze, I'm
680
00:25:17.079 --> 00:25:20.240
going to turn her into a power lifter. Like, I've
681
00:25:20.279 --> 00:25:22.259
got a gym in my garage at home and I
682
00:25:22.299 --> 00:25:24.549
go in there for a bit of, Me time to
683
00:25:24.589 --> 00:25:26.849
get away to start. That'd be my sanctuary. But now
684
00:25:26.890 --> 00:25:29.990
it's like been invaded by all the kids who want
685
00:25:30.009 --> 00:25:31.849
to try out all the different machines and lift up
686
00:25:31.930 --> 00:25:33.769
all the weights and the competition to them. But like
687
00:25:33.869 --> 00:25:38.069
Maggie's really strong. She can outlift her eldest brother. And
688
00:25:38.130 --> 00:25:40.339
she's like really proud of it. And I'm like, she's
689
00:25:40.359 --> 00:25:42.539
got a massive back. And she's like, oh, do you
690
00:25:42.559 --> 00:25:44.319
think that's a nice thing to say about your daughter?
691
00:25:44.380 --> 00:25:45.960
I said, well, it's not a horrible thing to say,
692
00:25:46.000 --> 00:25:46.230
is it?
693
00:25:46.539 --> 00:25:47.700
No. It's a good thing.
694
00:25:47.980 --> 00:25:49.890
She's athletic and strong.
695
00:25:49.910 --> 00:25:50.329
That's a good.
696
00:25:50.529 --> 00:25:51.869
And have you got a big back, Joe?
697
00:25:52.250 --> 00:25:54.369
Yeah, I've got a big back. One of my many
698
00:25:54.430 --> 00:25:58.109
nicknames is Quasimala because I look like the bloke who
699
00:25:58.150 --> 00:26:01.599
used to ring the bell. Just all like that. So
700
00:26:01.640 --> 00:26:03.380
I don't know if that's a compliment when they say that.
701
00:26:03.480 --> 00:26:04.660
But yeah, she's got a big old back.
702
00:26:04.700 --> 00:26:06.410
Could she be a swimmer? Big shoulders and a back.
703
00:26:06.430 --> 00:26:08.009
You need that for swimming, don't you? Big shoulders and
704
00:26:08.049 --> 00:26:09.990
a back. Or is the back better for lifting?
705
00:26:10.890 --> 00:26:13.130
Back's much better for lifting, Rob, actually.
706
00:26:13.150 --> 00:26:14.309
Sure, that's fine.
707
00:26:14.349 --> 00:26:14.609
You know.
708
00:26:14.890 --> 00:26:18.430
Is there money in women's rugby? No. No, really?
709
00:26:18.730 --> 00:26:22.299
No. And there's definitely no money in women's powerlifting. So
710
00:26:22.319 --> 00:26:27.140
I don't know why I recommended either to her. I
711
00:26:27.160 --> 00:26:29.200
was like, maybe we just turn her into a golfer,
712
00:26:29.220 --> 00:26:31.759
but she's not interested in that. But The only other
713
00:26:31.799 --> 00:26:34.500
one is Felix, who's the five-year-old, and the only sign
714
00:26:34.559 --> 00:26:37.109
he's shown being interested in the sport or being good
715
00:26:37.190 --> 00:26:42.029
at it is his anger, his aggression. He can fight
716
00:26:42.049 --> 00:26:45.289
like fuck. Like, he is an angry... And where do
717
00:26:45.309 --> 00:26:45.750
you think he.
718
00:26:45.670 --> 00:26:46.329
Gets that from?
719
00:26:46.549 --> 00:26:48.470
I've been racking my brain for a good four or
720
00:26:48.519 --> 00:26:49.279
five years now.
721
00:26:49.299 --> 00:26:53.779
LAUGHTER Your personality is so chilled and funny and relaxed.
722
00:26:53.819 --> 00:26:56.750
But on the pitch, I've seen clips of you lose it.
723
00:26:56.769 --> 00:26:58.089
But I don't know if you are losing it or
724
00:26:58.109 --> 00:26:59.490
you're pretending to lose it or you can just get
725
00:26:59.910 --> 00:27:01.890
fired up. Are you in control in those moments or
726
00:27:01.950 --> 00:27:04.109
has the red mist descended and you're in another place?
727
00:27:04.650 --> 00:27:09.039
I would probably say I'm more in control now than
728
00:27:09.079 --> 00:27:12.140
I was. But previously it was complete red mist. Didn't
729
00:27:12.160 --> 00:27:14.740
know what was going on. Just lose it. And I
730
00:27:14.789 --> 00:27:16.509
don't know why I'd lose it. I'd just lose the
731
00:27:16.549 --> 00:27:18.650
plot for no reason. The amount of times that I've
732
00:27:18.690 --> 00:27:21.829
been banned or done something stupid and then gone, fuck,
733
00:27:22.109 --> 00:27:24.509
I've no idea. Like almost I've blacked out and just
734
00:27:24.529 --> 00:27:25.250
done something.
735
00:27:25.049 --> 00:27:26.250
There with rage.
736
00:27:26.650 --> 00:27:30.470
Or the weirdest one was when we beat our rivals
737
00:27:30.529 --> 00:27:34.589
at home in a game and I hated them, really
738
00:27:34.630 --> 00:27:38.339
despised them because they were like well-known cheats. They'd been
739
00:27:38.380 --> 00:27:40.059
cheating for years and I'd just lost it. And it
740
00:27:40.079 --> 00:27:43.069
was amazing that we won, but Instead of celebrating, I
741
00:27:43.349 --> 00:27:45.829
just ran over to their bench and all the staff
742
00:27:46.029 --> 00:27:48.750
and all the management, all that lot, and just dropping
743
00:27:48.769 --> 00:27:52.430
the C-bomb everywhere, all just spraying them. And then lost
744
00:27:52.470 --> 00:27:55.319
the plot and stormed off in my kit, in my boots,
745
00:27:55.640 --> 00:27:58.019
in the crowd, and got in my truck and drove home.
746
00:27:58.039 --> 00:28:02.099
I don't know what was going on. I just completely
747
00:28:02.140 --> 00:28:03.759
lost the plot. And the next minute I'm home and
748
00:28:03.779 --> 00:28:05.559
I'm like, what the fuck? How did I get here?
749
00:28:05.640 --> 00:28:07.589
What's happened here? So there have been a fair few
750
00:28:07.619 --> 00:28:07.900
red mists.
751
00:28:07.920 --> 00:28:10.349
So you just kind of had this red mist blackout?
752
00:28:10.789 --> 00:28:14.539
I think... My wife's been such a calming influence and
753
00:28:14.559 --> 00:28:17.920
my kids that have been a calming influence or more
754
00:28:17.940 --> 00:28:22.460
of an influence of like thinking more before doing. Yeah.
755
00:28:22.839 --> 00:28:26.240
Resisting the urge to fucking just go with how you
756
00:28:26.279 --> 00:28:28.200
feel and actually thinking about stuff.
757
00:28:28.730 --> 00:28:30.890
I remember watching your documentary that was released like mental
758
00:28:30.930 --> 00:28:33.009
health week and like your sort of struggles with your
759
00:28:33.029 --> 00:28:36.109
mental health since you've sort of been more open about that.
760
00:28:36.130 --> 00:28:37.630
And I imagine, I don't know if you have done
761
00:28:37.670 --> 00:28:40.349
any therapy or have coping strategies. Now you've been more
762
00:28:40.450 --> 00:28:43.079
open about it and you're aware of how your mind
763
00:28:43.130 --> 00:28:46.240
processes stuff. Are you more in control and more in
764
00:28:46.259 --> 00:28:49.319
the moment and can control your feelings and stuff rather
765
00:28:49.339 --> 00:28:52.599
than bottling it up, pushing it down and then exploding?
766
00:28:52.660 --> 00:28:54.690
Is that sort of, There's photos of you, like you
767
00:28:54.710 --> 00:28:57.769
look unrecognisable in your eyes. The eyes are quite a
768
00:28:57.769 --> 00:28:59.890
good indicator to what's going on. And some of the
769
00:28:59.930 --> 00:29:02.130
photos of you when you're younger in your career, you
770
00:29:02.150 --> 00:29:04.269
look like a different person. Obviously, you're a bit younger,
771
00:29:04.609 --> 00:29:07.089
but actually you look younger, brighter eyed and more in
772
00:29:07.130 --> 00:29:09.730
control and in the real world where some of these
773
00:29:09.759 --> 00:29:11.359
photos of you playing when you're younger, you're like this
774
00:29:11.380 --> 00:29:13.710
sort of crazy guy that's a different person to the
775
00:29:13.779 --> 00:29:14.680
one that's sat here now.
776
00:29:15.079 --> 00:29:17.339
Yeah, I don't think I knew because I didn't know
777
00:29:17.380 --> 00:29:20.000
what was going on. I just sort of, I don't know,
778
00:29:20.039 --> 00:29:21.630
I just didn't have any answers to any of it.
779
00:29:21.859 --> 00:29:25.859
And then, When it had crept into home life, as
780
00:29:25.920 --> 00:29:28.680
opposed to the rugby thing, I just always assumed it
781
00:29:28.700 --> 00:29:31.940
was rugby pressures or that side of it, that persona,
782
00:29:31.980 --> 00:29:34.190
all that. But then when it started creeping into home life,
783
00:29:34.289 --> 00:29:36.150
it was like, what the fuck is going on? I've
784
00:29:36.170 --> 00:29:37.910
got to do something about this. Otherwise, I'm going to
785
00:29:37.950 --> 00:29:39.430
lose everything that I do love.
786
00:29:40.089 --> 00:29:42.730
And value. So how was that manifesting at home when
787
00:29:42.750 --> 00:29:44.549
you said like, would a little thing set you off
788
00:29:44.569 --> 00:29:45.809
and you'd be frustrated and.
789
00:29:46.349 --> 00:29:49.230
The smallest of things would set me off. I was
790
00:29:49.269 --> 00:29:52.539
becoming more distant, like not present at home. I was
791
00:29:52.579 --> 00:29:57.589
there physically, but just within myself, I was having, all
792
00:29:57.619 --> 00:29:59.730
sorts going on. I didn't have any answers to it.
793
00:29:59.730 --> 00:30:01.769
And then it came to a head when I completely
794
00:30:01.829 --> 00:30:05.390
trashed the house. And my wife was, it's still hard
795
00:30:05.430 --> 00:30:08.089
to speak about now because it's so full of shame.
796
00:30:08.589 --> 00:30:11.869
I just ran out on her basically. And that was
797
00:30:11.910 --> 00:30:14.450
like my lowest point. And it was like, fucking hell,
798
00:30:14.710 --> 00:30:16.029
what's going on? I need help.
799
00:30:16.150 --> 00:30:17.329
It was that moment. I need help.
800
00:30:17.630 --> 00:30:19.210
I need to go get it. And then I went
801
00:30:19.230 --> 00:30:22.630
and got help and started therapy and I've been doing
802
00:30:22.670 --> 00:30:26.250
therapy on and off since then. and exploring it and
803
00:30:26.289 --> 00:30:29.109
getting more answers to things. And, you know, I don't
804
00:30:29.130 --> 00:30:31.619
want to delve into it all now because it's a
805
00:30:31.640 --> 00:30:36.059
fucking light-hearted, funny podcast. But at the same time... Feel
806
00:30:36.099 --> 00:30:37.039
free if you want to, though.
807
00:30:37.059 --> 00:30:38.059
We can talk about stuff like this.
808
00:30:38.079 --> 00:30:41.039
Yeah, I really enjoy this free therapy session from you boys.
809
00:30:42.799 --> 00:30:44.940
Do you mind if I just lie down and there's
810
00:30:45.059 --> 00:30:46.420
a chaise lounge here?
811
00:30:46.640 --> 00:30:48.259
Whatever you need, Joe. Whatever you need.
812
00:30:48.480 --> 00:30:48.799
Thanks.
813
00:30:49.220 --> 00:30:51.920
So, yeah, now I feel like I can recognise things
814
00:30:51.980 --> 00:30:54.789
that are going to trigger me. Now I feel I'm
815
00:30:54.849 --> 00:30:58.329
aware of things in the future that I know that
816
00:30:58.750 --> 00:31:00.369
I'm going to struggle in that part, so I'm going
817
00:31:00.390 --> 00:31:02.670
to need a little bit of break or stuff like
818
00:31:02.690 --> 00:31:05.059
that and coping with it. And, yeah, I just feel
819
00:31:05.099 --> 00:31:08.730
much happier and I'm so much happier because– I'm at home,
820
00:31:08.769 --> 00:31:11.250
I'm actually experiencing these things with the kids as opposed
821
00:31:11.269 --> 00:31:14.519
to just being there. I'm actually thriving more with it
822
00:31:14.640 --> 00:31:16.700
all and loving it and actually engaged with it all.
823
00:31:16.779 --> 00:31:20.039
So yeah, I feel a lot more in control of
824
00:31:20.079 --> 00:31:21.779
those things. That's why when it comes back to the
825
00:31:21.839 --> 00:31:24.759
rugby side of it, I'll still have an occasional flare
826
00:31:24.799 --> 00:31:26.579
up because it's a contact sport and that's what I
827
00:31:26.579 --> 00:31:29.380
love about it. You have to have the physical alpha
828
00:31:29.460 --> 00:31:33.210
mindset of going after each other, but it needs to
829
00:31:33.230 --> 00:31:36.140
be that level of not going too far. And then
830
00:31:36.200 --> 00:31:37.569
I've also got that in the back of my head
831
00:31:37.630 --> 00:31:40.390
of if my kids do bother to turn the TV on,
832
00:31:40.690 --> 00:31:42.809
they might watch this. And I don't want to be
833
00:31:42.849 --> 00:31:45.130
setting a really bad example. I still want to have
834
00:31:45.150 --> 00:31:48.490
the ability to go home and go, Jasper, you can't
835
00:31:48.529 --> 00:31:51.230
turn around and punch someone at school because you didn't
836
00:31:51.269 --> 00:31:53.369
get what you wanted or whatever. And then him to
837
00:31:53.670 --> 00:31:56.130
turn around and go, I saw you turn around and
838
00:31:56.150 --> 00:32:00.190
punch someone yesterday on the pitch. Yeah. yeah fuck off
839
00:32:00.390 --> 00:32:04.809
basically as I say not as I do son all
840
00:32:04.829 --> 00:32:06.849
right let's go down that route so yeah that's where
841
00:32:06.890 --> 00:32:09.430
it's at and I think it's also because I'm coming
842
00:32:09.470 --> 00:32:12.140
to the end of rugby I'm like stop being a
843
00:32:12.180 --> 00:32:13.900
twat do.
844
00:32:13.720 --> 00:32:18.220
You know what I mean you've learned some valuable lessons
845
00:32:18.259 --> 00:32:19.299
through the therapy though.
846
00:32:19.220 --> 00:32:22.180
I'd say so I'd say it's going really well so
847
00:32:22.200 --> 00:32:24.839
far it always starts with hi, Joe, how much of
848
00:32:24.880 --> 00:32:27.109
a twat have you been this week? And he's like, cool,
849
00:32:27.269 --> 00:32:28.480
let's delve into it.
850
00:32:28.490 --> 00:32:34.309
Let's work out why. I'd say, though, I think a
851
00:32:34.390 --> 00:32:37.539
lot of people, and especially, I think, for men, when
852
00:32:37.579 --> 00:32:39.799
you are sort of out working and you're a bit
853
00:32:39.839 --> 00:32:41.519
more away from it and you basically have to go
854
00:32:41.539 --> 00:32:43.740
into work, mate, and then come back into being a parent.
855
00:32:44.039 --> 00:32:45.859
That's the point that's the biggest stress. That's where I
856
00:32:45.900 --> 00:32:47.740
found it really difficult. I had a breakdown and I
857
00:32:47.740 --> 00:32:51.200
had to do therapy when I had two kids, but
858
00:32:51.259 --> 00:32:52.960
one was very young. But like you say, you had
859
00:32:53.339 --> 00:32:55.099
a baby and then another one on the way and
860
00:32:55.240 --> 00:32:58.920
you're like 25, 26 in the middle of a really insane, intense,
861
00:32:59.000 --> 00:33:01.779
physical and aggressive spool. So I think that's when a
862
00:33:01.799 --> 00:33:04.200
lot of people, it becomes too much. I watched that
863
00:33:04.220 --> 00:33:06.039
documentary and it really helped me and it made me
864
00:33:06.519 --> 00:33:09.009
recognize that in myself so i think you know whether
865
00:33:09.029 --> 00:33:10.970
it's a light-hearted podcast but it does make a massive
866
00:33:11.029 --> 00:33:13.170
impact what you talking about that kind of stuff i
867
00:33:13.190 --> 00:33:15.589
think it's really important what would you say to people
868
00:33:15.609 --> 00:33:17.690
that feel they're in the same position.
869
00:33:17.569 --> 00:33:21.140
That's always the toughest question because you go no one's
870
00:33:21.220 --> 00:33:25.160
ever in the same circumstance i like that everyone's always
871
00:33:25.220 --> 00:33:28.579
different and yeah so many different things don't work for
872
00:33:28.619 --> 00:33:31.000
people and so many different things do work for people
873
00:33:31.490 --> 00:33:33.289
That's why I struggle to actually answer that, Josh. So
874
00:33:33.329 --> 00:33:36.069
you've put me right on the spot, you fucker.
875
00:33:36.410 --> 00:33:37.289
Well, don't get angry, Joe.
876
00:33:37.329 --> 00:33:38.069
Don't get angry.
877
00:33:38.750 --> 00:33:41.299
Everyone reacts differently to different treatment, don't they?
878
00:33:41.940 --> 00:33:44.579
Yeah, exactly. I think it's such shit advice. Being able
879
00:33:44.619 --> 00:33:46.259
to talk, like open up and talk to you. And
880
00:33:46.279 --> 00:33:49.599
you go, if you say, just talk to someone, if
881
00:33:49.640 --> 00:33:52.039
you're feeling shit, if you're feeling, if you're struggling, if
882
00:33:52.079 --> 00:33:54.089
you're stressed or whatever, just talk. That's the whole point
883
00:33:54.119 --> 00:33:57.529
of having a network around you. Find someone to talk to,
884
00:33:57.569 --> 00:34:00.049
to open up to. But that's always the hardest thing.
885
00:34:00.660 --> 00:34:03.309
I found it so hard because I was like, I
886
00:34:03.329 --> 00:34:05.069
don't want to open up this can of worms to
887
00:34:05.109 --> 00:34:07.250
my wife. She's got enough on her plate as it is.
888
00:34:07.269 --> 00:34:10.429
I don't want to burden her with any issues I've got.
889
00:34:10.489 --> 00:34:12.010
She's got enough going on as it is. I don't
890
00:34:12.030 --> 00:34:15.320
want to then burden my mates because they're going out
891
00:34:15.360 --> 00:34:16.960
partying all the time and they don't want me to
892
00:34:17.400 --> 00:34:19.079
take my kids out all the time with them and
893
00:34:19.119 --> 00:34:22.039
fuck up their nights, plus lump in a load of issues.
894
00:34:22.300 --> 00:34:24.519
And also the fact in my position where it was like,
895
00:34:25.030 --> 00:34:27.090
what the fuck could you have going wrong, mate? You know,
896
00:34:27.130 --> 00:34:29.769
you play a fucking sport for a living. You get
897
00:34:29.809 --> 00:34:32.170
paid to do a hobby. So it's hard to say
898
00:34:32.230 --> 00:34:34.170
just to talk over and over. But I can only
899
00:34:34.210 --> 00:34:36.820
just say that when I did hit rock bottom, then
900
00:34:36.860 --> 00:34:39.000
going to see someone and actually talking about the issues
901
00:34:39.039 --> 00:34:42.300
that was going on with me, fucking hell, made a
902
00:34:42.360 --> 00:34:45.460
huge difference. And then made me also realise, what's the
903
00:34:45.500 --> 00:34:48.260
point in having all these people around you, your wife,
904
00:34:48.320 --> 00:34:52.449
your friends, your family, that love you and you love back? Like,
905
00:34:52.510 --> 00:34:55.400
if it was reversed... and they were going through something,
906
00:34:55.619 --> 00:34:58.340
you'd want them to talk to you, open up. Because
907
00:34:58.360 --> 00:35:01.659
that's the point of being together. That's the point that
908
00:35:01.679 --> 00:35:05.650
we help each other through this. So, yeah, talking for
909
00:35:05.690 --> 00:35:09.210
me and meeting other people has made a huge difference.
910
00:35:09.630 --> 00:35:11.949
But for me, I found whoever I told I was
911
00:35:11.969 --> 00:35:14.829
struggling with, everyone was supportive. And not one person said, oh,
912
00:35:15.250 --> 00:35:17.010
shut up. Do you know what I mean? They were like, oh,
913
00:35:17.030 --> 00:35:19.469
I'm sorry to hear you feel like that. I'll explain
914
00:35:19.489 --> 00:35:21.170
what I'm doing. Oh, that's a really good thing to do.
915
00:35:21.210 --> 00:35:24.139
And it was more just like, so nothing, Keith. But
916
00:35:24.179 --> 00:35:25.860
in my head, I thought it was going to be like, oh,
917
00:35:26.309 --> 00:35:28.309
leave it out, you're moaning.
918
00:35:28.389 --> 00:35:31.349
You also then find out the people that actually care.
919
00:35:31.369 --> 00:35:32.570
Do you know what I mean?
920
00:35:32.849 --> 00:35:34.650
It's quite a good way to sort of whittle down.
921
00:35:34.869 --> 00:35:37.610
Whittle them down. And now I've got a wife and
922
00:35:37.769 --> 00:35:38.349
one friend.
923
00:35:38.369 --> 00:35:42.420
It went really well for me.
924
00:35:42.440 --> 00:35:44.780
Go back to slightly less intense chat and stuff. Did
925
00:35:44.800 --> 00:35:46.159
you get a long time off over the summer? I
926
00:35:46.300 --> 00:35:48.460
know you was injured, but with rugby, because you are
927
00:35:48.500 --> 00:35:50.280
away a lot in the summer, do you have that
928
00:35:50.320 --> 00:35:52.239
time off? And is your wife a bit more like, right,
929
00:35:52.739 --> 00:35:55.570
you're in charge now, Joe. You've been away on tour
930
00:35:55.590 --> 00:35:58.190
with England or whatever. So how was the summer? Was
931
00:35:58.269 --> 00:35:58.710
it full on?
932
00:35:59.110 --> 00:36:02.130
No, it was great. I broke my foot away on
933
00:36:02.170 --> 00:36:06.389
tour for England in the first test against New Zealand.
934
00:36:06.590 --> 00:36:09.320
And then if you're not fit to play, you're usually
935
00:36:09.599 --> 00:36:12.559
flown home and you get someone else in. That's what happens.
936
00:36:13.239 --> 00:36:16.000
And then because I'm old and the boys in my
937
00:36:16.039 --> 00:36:19.230
position were young, the head coach was like, oh, do
938
00:36:19.250 --> 00:36:21.449
you think you could stay around for the last week? Like,
939
00:36:21.469 --> 00:36:23.190
you were going to be away anyway, but could you
940
00:36:23.230 --> 00:36:24.789
stay around for the last week and help out the
941
00:36:24.829 --> 00:36:28.050
young boys with bits and bobs? And I was like, yeah,
942
00:36:28.409 --> 00:36:30.670
as long as it's all right with Daisy and thingy.
943
00:36:30.710 --> 00:36:33.929
I was like, well, can you ring her? Can you?
944
00:36:34.010 --> 00:36:37.429
She's gone, oh, you're injured.
945
00:36:37.469 --> 00:36:38.530
Brilliant. You're coming out.
946
00:36:39.260 --> 00:36:41.059
Is there any way of putting an announcement on Monday
947
00:36:41.079 --> 00:36:45.289
saying that it's not a broken foot? I've healed. So
948
00:36:45.409 --> 00:36:46.789
I said, don't worry, I'll speak to her. And I
949
00:36:46.840 --> 00:36:50.119
rang her and said, Dave, Steve's asked me to stay out. Obviously,
950
00:36:50.719 --> 00:36:52.860
I've already been away for five weeks and you've had
951
00:36:52.880 --> 00:36:56.579
the kids on your own. And then she was like, yeah, no,
952
00:36:56.599 --> 00:36:59.039
I want you to stay out. So I stayed out
953
00:36:59.079 --> 00:37:02.610
there and then got home. And then it was because
954
00:37:02.630 --> 00:37:04.369
of the injury. It means I actually had the whole
955
00:37:04.429 --> 00:37:06.730
summer off for the first time in a long time
956
00:37:07.369 --> 00:37:09.440
to spend with the kids. And we properly went for it.
957
00:37:09.769 --> 00:37:12.940
Although the physios in the club were a little bit like, right,
958
00:37:12.980 --> 00:37:14.679
you broke your foot. You need to be off feet
959
00:37:14.739 --> 00:37:16.800
for the next four weeks. I went, what do you
960
00:37:16.820 --> 00:37:18.670
mean off feet? They were like, well, you need to
961
00:37:18.710 --> 00:37:20.989
just sit and wait for the bone to heal for
962
00:37:21.010 --> 00:37:23.730
the first four weeks. And I went, there's not a
963
00:37:23.829 --> 00:37:26.349
fucking chance that's going to happen. Like if you think
964
00:37:26.389 --> 00:37:28.590
it was a bad idea, me asking my wife to
965
00:37:28.679 --> 00:37:30.800
stay out in New Zealand for an extra week, even
966
00:37:30.820 --> 00:37:32.840
though I can't do my job. But now you want
967
00:37:32.860 --> 00:37:34.659
me to say when I do come back, I'm sitting
968
00:37:34.679 --> 00:37:37.840
on my ass for four weeks and that's it. I said,
969
00:37:37.900 --> 00:37:39.920
now you need to call her. Now you need to
970
00:37:39.960 --> 00:37:41.510
tell her if you, and they were like, actually, we
971
00:37:41.530 --> 00:37:44.130
won't bother. Just try your hardest. And I went, it's
972
00:37:44.190 --> 00:37:47.050
also festival season. And they're like, what do you mean?
973
00:37:47.190 --> 00:37:49.489
I've got loads of festivals to go to, mate. So
974
00:37:49.590 --> 00:37:54.289
fuck off. I'm not complying to the non-weight bearing. So yeah,
975
00:37:54.309 --> 00:37:55.550
we did a couple of festivals.
976
00:37:55.570 --> 00:37:56.530
Did you check the kids?
977
00:37:56.809 --> 00:37:58.050
Have you not done a festival yet?
978
00:37:58.429 --> 00:37:58.829
Not with the kids.
979
00:37:58.849 --> 00:38:00.429
Not with the kids. Oh, lads.
980
00:38:00.809 --> 00:38:02.969
Oh, fuck me dead. You've got to get down to
981
00:38:03.030 --> 00:38:03.750
Camp Bestival.
982
00:38:04.170 --> 00:38:04.550
Really?
983
00:38:04.869 --> 00:38:08.369
Really? Oh my God. It's like, we've done it last
984
00:38:08.429 --> 00:38:11.329
three years now and it is fucking brilliant because everyone's
985
00:38:11.349 --> 00:38:12.010
in the same boat.
986
00:38:12.610 --> 00:38:14.610
Are you one of those couples that have got four
987
00:38:14.650 --> 00:38:16.369
kids and what they do is just go somewhere where
988
00:38:16.389 --> 00:38:18.329
there's loads of kids and adults and then go, I'm
989
00:38:18.389 --> 00:38:20.309
sure someone's watching them. Do you want a beer?
990
00:38:20.329 --> 00:38:22.190
Because that's what happens.
991
00:38:22.210 --> 00:38:23.889
You get to four kids, you tap out and keep
992
00:38:23.909 --> 00:38:24.440
your eyes on them.
993
00:38:24.449 --> 00:38:26.579
Well, they can look like that. If you keep having it,
994
00:38:26.639 --> 00:38:28.440
they look after each other. Do you know what I mean?
995
00:38:28.460 --> 00:38:29.219
Just fuck them up.
996
00:38:29.260 --> 00:38:31.860
Where are they? Oh, they'll come back. It's fine. No,
997
00:38:31.980 --> 00:38:35.719
I mean, it's unreal. It's like family-orientated, but not. So, like,
998
00:38:36.179 --> 00:38:38.099
you can do all sorts. It's good for the adults,
999
00:38:38.159 --> 00:38:39.039
I think. But everyone's sort of.
1000
00:38:39.079 --> 00:38:40.139
Oh, they've got loads of kids stuff there.
1001
00:38:40.159 --> 00:38:40.219
Mr.
1002
00:38:40.219 --> 00:38:42.539
Tumble... Hackety.
1003
00:38:42.019 --> 00:38:44.239
I mean we don't really go for Mr Tumble no.
1004
00:38:44.099 --> 00:38:45.679
Right okay no so you're not taking them there you
1005
00:38:45.699 --> 00:38:47.179
took them to the just the gigs.
1006
00:38:47.400 --> 00:38:49.260
Mate it's camp festival it's great.
1007
00:38:49.179 --> 00:38:50.429
Did you do a gig there because you're on the
1008
00:38:50.449 --> 00:38:52.010
listings there so you did a did you do your
1009
00:38:52.030 --> 00:38:55.269
podcast or was it an interview type thing Rob.
1010
00:38:55.030 --> 00:38:58.090
DeBank the DJ it's his festival and I just did
1011
00:38:58.130 --> 00:39:00.309
a chat with him and oh he interviewed on there
1012
00:39:00.389 --> 00:39:02.590
talk bollocks but we're open to take the podcast there
1013
00:39:02.630 --> 00:39:04.070
next year what's.
1014
00:39:04.179 --> 00:39:07.480
It like bedtime wise there like You're camping. How do
1015
00:39:07.519 --> 00:39:10.019
you get the kids to go to sleep in that situation?
1016
00:39:10.219 --> 00:39:12.949
I guess the approach we took, it was more sweet-induced,
1017
00:39:13.010 --> 00:39:15.530
where you just go, fucking hell, have a load of sugar,
1018
00:39:15.650 --> 00:39:18.750
and then you know that they'll crash. Mate, it's freedom
1019
00:39:19.130 --> 00:39:20.989
out of the routine of the weekly stuff.
1020
00:39:21.010 --> 00:39:21.750
Yeah, yeah.
1021
00:39:22.170 --> 00:39:24.969
And they love it, and they soon get knackered dancing
1022
00:39:24.989 --> 00:39:26.730
around all the place, and then you get to midnight,
1023
00:39:26.769 --> 00:39:29.769
and then everyone crashes. It's fucking great. I cannot recommend.
1024
00:39:29.860 --> 00:39:31.880
and you can't you put your own tent up did
1025
00:39:31.920 --> 00:39:35.280
you get a nice tent six and three perfect six
1026
00:39:35.320 --> 00:39:37.880
and three perfect six and eight even more perfect oh
1027
00:39:37.900 --> 00:39:40.559
they also do do like um boutique camping as well
1028
00:39:40.579 --> 00:39:42.519
because i can't put a tent up did you put
1029
00:39:42.539 --> 00:39:45.679
the tent up or did you get nice camping Rob
1030
00:39:45.719 --> 00:39:46.420
the bank.
1031
00:39:46.159 --> 00:39:47.940
Sorted us out with some of the boutique things. So
1032
00:39:47.960 --> 00:39:49.559
it was all set up, but you still take some
1033
00:39:49.599 --> 00:39:50.760
of your camping gear.
1034
00:39:50.840 --> 00:39:52.550
I could only go if it was set up. I
1035
00:39:52.610 --> 00:39:55.710
couldn't put a tent up with two kids. I hate it. Why?
1036
00:39:55.730 --> 00:39:58.289
I don't have to build an house for a night off.
1037
00:39:59.670 --> 00:40:01.190
For a night off work, I don't have to build
1038
00:40:01.250 --> 00:40:01.610
an house.
1039
00:40:02.010 --> 00:40:03.760
Get them to do it. Just say you do it.
1040
00:40:03.780 --> 00:40:04.659
That's what I'm saying.
1041
00:40:04.679 --> 00:40:06.659
Or you just get so pissed that you don't care
1042
00:40:06.679 --> 00:40:09.420
where you sleep. So if they've built it shit, you
1043
00:40:09.460 --> 00:40:10.380
just sleep on top of it.
1044
00:40:10.949 --> 00:40:11.349
Fair enough.
1045
00:40:11.369 --> 00:40:13.429
So you're going to take the pot, Joe Marla's things
1046
00:40:13.469 --> 00:40:15.090
people do. You're going to take that there next year,
1047
00:40:15.110 --> 00:40:15.630
did you say?
1048
00:40:15.789 --> 00:40:17.809
Yeah, that's what we're hoping to do. It's just a
1049
00:40:17.869 --> 00:40:20.289
lovely little gig, mate. And we also then get to meet,
1050
00:40:20.849 --> 00:40:22.510
the whole point of the pod is to meet random
1051
00:40:22.530 --> 00:40:26.639
people that do random stuff and just talk shit about it, basically.
1052
00:40:26.659 --> 00:40:28.110
Because you have a mixture of sort of like, you
1053
00:40:28.139 --> 00:40:29.469
had Rag and Bow Man on, but then you just
1054
00:40:29.489 --> 00:40:32.179
get like random head teachers. Do you have head teachers on?
1055
00:40:32.960 --> 00:40:35.420
Yeah, we tend to try and go with more like
1056
00:40:35.719 --> 00:40:39.909
a drainage engineer as opposed to, like the big stars
1057
00:40:39.969 --> 00:40:42.590
that have done the fucking circuit 10, 100 times. Do
1058
00:40:42.610 --> 00:40:43.309
you know what I mean?
1059
00:40:43.349 --> 00:40:43.489
Yeah.
1060
00:40:43.530 --> 00:40:47.150
Well, Steve, the drainage engineer has never done a podcast before.
1061
00:40:47.190 --> 00:40:49.510
So let's see how that one goes. Some of the
1062
00:40:49.590 --> 00:40:52.329
shit and the stories that come out of people.
1063
00:40:52.650 --> 00:40:53.360
Yeah. Normal people.
1064
00:40:53.389 --> 00:40:55.739
Always cross your mind. You're like, well, what the fuck
1065
00:40:55.800 --> 00:40:59.559
is a drainage engineer? What actually does a surveyor do? Like,
1066
00:40:59.619 --> 00:41:02.039
I'm like, what is that? And people go, well, that's
1067
00:41:02.079 --> 00:41:04.159
not interesting, is it? I went, well, fucking ask him
1068
00:41:04.199 --> 00:41:07.400
some questions. And I bet you people are interested. Give
1069
00:41:07.440 --> 00:41:08.059
him a chance.
1070
00:41:08.260 --> 00:41:08.519
All right.
1071
00:41:08.949 --> 00:41:11.530
They already know what Robbie Williams does. Like, why do
1072
00:41:11.550 --> 00:41:14.409
I need to see Robbie Williams? I know what he does.
1073
00:41:14.869 --> 00:41:17.489
I know sort of how he does it. Like, let's
1074
00:41:17.510 --> 00:41:19.230
just talk to like the normal people.
1075
00:41:19.250 --> 00:41:25.070
I totally agree. Once groundskeeper, sumo wrestling, prisons, you'll never
1076
00:41:25.170 --> 00:41:26.789
eat travel lodge eggs again.
1077
00:41:26.809 --> 00:41:33.010
In fact, groundskeeper was really good. Terry, Terry the groundskeeper.
1078
00:41:33.329 --> 00:41:35.230
So what would you say to get a taste of
1079
00:41:35.250 --> 00:41:37.820
the podcast? What would you recommend they listen to? Groundskeeper?
1080
00:41:38.119 --> 00:41:41.920
I highly recommend either Darren, the marine biologist.
1081
00:41:42.380 --> 00:41:43.559
The filming elephants guy?
1082
00:41:44.420 --> 00:41:46.449
Well, no, because that's not marine, is it?
1083
00:41:47.019 --> 00:41:48.320
Well, it depends if they're an abort or not.
1084
00:41:51.440 --> 00:41:54.320
He's a niche elephant marine biologist.
1085
00:41:55.579 --> 00:41:58.519
Like the bin lorry guy, librarian, estate agent.
1086
00:41:59.110 --> 00:42:00.179
Or the chimney sweep.
1087
00:42:00.929 --> 00:42:03.389
Chimney sweep? Yeah, please.
1088
00:42:03.409 --> 00:42:06.070
You've got to go listen to Josh's chimney sweep, mate.
1089
00:42:06.130 --> 00:42:07.989
He was fucking unbelievable.
1090
00:42:08.570 --> 00:42:10.070
And how do you find your people?
1091
00:42:11.050 --> 00:42:13.349
Well, loads of different ways. But Josh, we found on
1092
00:42:13.510 --> 00:42:17.449
the Chimney Sweep Association group on Facebook. Amazing.
1093
00:42:17.719 --> 00:42:19.380
So you think of a job and then you find
1094
00:42:19.400 --> 00:42:19.880
the person.
1095
00:42:20.380 --> 00:42:22.400
What have we got lined up here? I see, I
1096
00:42:22.519 --> 00:42:24.300
ask for these, but they never fucking, I don't know.
1097
00:42:24.320 --> 00:42:26.079
I've got loads of mates that are proper funny and
1098
00:42:26.119 --> 00:42:27.739
live a mad life and do a mad job, but
1099
00:42:27.760 --> 00:42:30.639
they're like, sort of run a logistics company, which you
1100
00:42:30.659 --> 00:42:31.829
wouldn't automatically assume.
1101
00:42:32.690 --> 00:42:35.110
Exactly. You tell me, Rob, what's a logistics company?
1102
00:42:35.849 --> 00:42:38.590
He basically has loads of warehouses where he stores stock
1103
00:42:38.610 --> 00:42:40.230
and then makes them get on lorries and sends them
1104
00:42:40.250 --> 00:42:40.949
all around the world.
1105
00:42:41.130 --> 00:42:42.190
Yeah, I want to know what stock.
1106
00:42:42.610 --> 00:42:43.010
I don't know.
1107
00:42:43.610 --> 00:42:44.050
Exactly.
1108
00:42:44.210 --> 00:42:47.789
I thought you were accusing me of not doing my research.
1109
00:42:47.869 --> 00:42:48.409
Oh, no, no, no.
1110
00:42:48.469 --> 00:42:50.570
I was saying this is why I listened to the podcast.
1111
00:42:50.679 --> 00:42:53.019
I was once at a wedding and I was sat
1112
00:42:53.059 --> 00:42:55.260
next to someone who worked for Tea Pigs, you know,
1113
00:42:55.280 --> 00:42:56.260
the tea company.
1114
00:42:56.619 --> 00:42:57.079
Oh, yeah.
1115
00:42:57.880 --> 00:42:59.480
And I was like, oh, that's interesting.
1116
00:42:59.880 --> 00:43:02.280
And I'm really grilling her over how they do it,
1117
00:43:02.360 --> 00:43:04.639
what their rivals are. And after a while she said, sorry,
1118
00:43:04.659 --> 00:43:05.820
are you being sarcastic?
1119
00:43:05.920 --> 00:43:09.199
Because I was so interested in her job.
1120
00:43:09.300 --> 00:43:11.119
At what point did she say, fuck off, I'm trying
1121
00:43:11.139 --> 00:43:11.880
to enjoy the wedding?
1122
00:43:12.139 --> 00:43:14.539
Well, we were just sat next to each other and
1123
00:43:14.559 --> 00:43:16.119
you're like, for the whole meal?
1124
00:43:16.139 --> 00:43:17.000
Yeah.
1125
00:43:17.280 --> 00:43:19.260
So I'm like, oh, I'm interested in her job. I'll
1126
00:43:19.280 --> 00:43:20.139
talk to her about that.
1127
00:43:20.159 --> 00:43:22.019
You've already told her what Jimmy Carr's really like.
1128
00:43:22.260 --> 00:43:24.739
Obviously part of it is trying to distract from having
1129
00:43:24.760 --> 00:43:25.659
to talk about my job.
1130
00:43:26.769 --> 00:43:29.789
When I was younger with no mates, sometimes I used
1131
00:43:29.809 --> 00:43:32.469
to go to Clapham Junction, the train station.
1132
00:43:32.769 --> 00:43:33.070
Yeah.
1133
00:43:33.090 --> 00:43:35.090
Or when you go on holiday and you're in the airport,
1134
00:43:35.780 --> 00:43:37.659
you're looking at people, you're looking at couples.
1135
00:43:37.679 --> 00:43:40.179
Don't try and make it cooler. You're a teenager alone
1136
00:43:40.260 --> 00:43:41.059
at Clapham Junction.
1137
00:43:41.139 --> 00:43:42.159
Fair enough.
1138
00:43:42.179 --> 00:43:44.960
Busiest train station in Europe. Busiest train station in Europe.
1139
00:43:45.280 --> 00:43:47.159
Where else would you go? So I'm sitting there eating
1140
00:43:47.179 --> 00:43:49.969
my pasta or something and then I'll just like, What's
1141
00:43:50.010 --> 00:43:52.550
their story? And then you dream up, oh my God,
1142
00:43:52.590 --> 00:43:54.030
I bet they're having an affair. I bet they're going
1143
00:43:54.070 --> 00:43:55.849
to the Premier Inn down the road and they look
1144
00:43:55.889 --> 00:43:58.030
like they're about to fucking do the day. Or then
1145
00:43:58.070 --> 00:43:59.730
you've just got this random guy on his own. You go,
1146
00:43:59.750 --> 00:44:03.449
what's his story? And then I'd always be either dreaming
1147
00:44:03.489 --> 00:44:06.199
up the story or trying to muster up the courage
1148
00:44:06.239 --> 00:44:07.920
to actually go and talk to someone. Because we never
1149
00:44:07.960 --> 00:44:08.880
talk to each other anymore.
1150
00:44:08.900 --> 00:44:09.239
No, yeah.
1151
00:44:10.539 --> 00:44:12.840
Randomly talking on a bus or randomly talking.
1152
00:44:12.900 --> 00:44:16.619
It's probably all those lone men at train stations eating pasties,
1153
00:44:16.679 --> 00:44:18.559
staring at people, putting you off having a chat, to
1154
00:44:18.579 --> 00:44:18.760
be honest.
1155
00:44:18.800 --> 00:44:21.780
With a beard at 13. All I used to do is.
1156
00:44:21.800 --> 00:44:23.639
We get to actually ask the questions now of these
1157
00:44:23.699 --> 00:44:25.170
random people doing their random job.
1158
00:44:25.190 --> 00:44:27.230
I do that, but I'd invent it. It would always
1159
00:44:27.329 --> 00:44:29.309
end up being really bleak and then I'd feel like
1160
00:44:29.650 --> 00:44:31.070
I'd have to go in and look after them. But
1161
00:44:31.110 --> 00:44:33.530
even though I've made all of this... Like if I
1162
00:44:33.550 --> 00:44:34.869
saw an old man come out of the shop, I'd
1163
00:44:34.889 --> 00:44:36.550
be like, he's going home alone. He's probably not met
1164
00:44:36.590 --> 00:44:38.570
anyone for a week and he's got this big smelly house.
1165
00:44:38.610 --> 00:44:40.829
He's too old to clean. And I've just made it
1166
00:44:40.929 --> 00:44:43.329
all up. I'd get sad doing that.
1167
00:44:43.769 --> 00:44:45.449
Yeah, fair enough. If you were going to do it,
1168
00:44:45.449 --> 00:44:46.969
you put a limit on it. You go, hello, mate,
1169
00:44:46.989 --> 00:44:48.940
you're right. I'd just like to chat to you, but
1170
00:44:49.079 --> 00:44:51.400
it's a 20 minute limit. And then I'm gone. There's
1171
00:44:51.480 --> 00:44:52.480
no aftercare.
1172
00:44:52.800 --> 00:44:54.800
No, but this isn't what he's told me. This is
1173
00:44:54.820 --> 00:44:57.219
what I've invented. That's what I'm saying. It's not like
1174
00:44:57.260 --> 00:44:59.010
he's told me it's sad. I'd invent it. I need
1175
00:44:59.030 --> 00:45:00.449
to go up to him and go, can you just
1176
00:45:00.489 --> 00:45:02.030
tell me you're not completely alone?
1177
00:45:02.500 --> 00:45:03.539
Yeah, good.
1178
00:45:03.559 --> 00:45:05.690
So I can just forget about this and move on.
1179
00:45:06.389 --> 00:45:09.639
That's going to put a real spring in his step,
1180
00:45:09.699 --> 00:45:13.219
isn't it? Someone's like, I'm really bleaked out by you.
1181
00:45:13.300 --> 00:45:14.820
Please tell me your life's not as bleak as it
1182
00:45:14.860 --> 00:45:16.039
looks from the outside.
1183
00:45:16.420 --> 00:45:18.260
And then the moment he says, actually, it is as
1184
00:45:18.300 --> 00:45:21.179
bleak as it looks, you then go, right, I'm off. Cheers.
1185
00:45:21.500 --> 00:45:22.940
Yeah, thanks, mate. Off you go.
1186
00:45:22.960 --> 00:45:25.579
You really doubled down on that bloke's day. Cheers. Thank you.
1187
00:45:26.860 --> 00:45:28.840
As well as a camp festival and festivals, did you
1188
00:45:28.860 --> 00:45:31.010
go on holiday? Taking four kids?
1189
00:45:31.309 --> 00:45:31.590
No.
1190
00:45:32.250 --> 00:45:33.110
You don't go on holiday?
1191
00:45:33.429 --> 00:45:34.869
No, I do go on holiday, but we didn't go
1192
00:45:34.889 --> 00:45:37.849
on holiday this summer because the last summer was fucking mental.
1193
00:45:38.210 --> 00:45:40.349
We went to Greece for a week. And you don't
1194
00:45:40.429 --> 00:45:42.900
think about these when you're Well, you definitely don't think
1195
00:45:42.960 --> 00:45:47.619
about the logistics when you're shagging, do you? But, you know.
1196
00:45:47.659 --> 00:45:50.579
That's how I get turned on, actually. Oh, right.
1197
00:45:50.639 --> 00:45:54.940
Okay. Well, we need to turn to a logistics manager. Yeah,
1198
00:45:54.980 --> 00:45:58.239
really help you. And then you don't think about, oh,
1199
00:45:58.260 --> 00:46:01.639
I need a new car. Because when I was younger,
1200
00:46:02.199 --> 00:46:04.760
I was a family of five. Not five siblings. We
1201
00:46:04.780 --> 00:46:06.860
were all five. But we were all like, you know,
1202
00:46:06.900 --> 00:46:09.539
like big. Like we weren't like a small family. Like
1203
00:46:09.599 --> 00:46:10.260
big backs.
1204
00:46:10.400 --> 00:46:10.699
There we go.
1205
00:46:10.719 --> 00:46:11.460
Big backs, yeah.
1206
00:46:12.170 --> 00:46:14.429
So we'd struggle to fit in the Clio or whatever,
1207
00:46:14.449 --> 00:46:16.860
a mate or whatever. We'd just put one of us
1208
00:46:16.889 --> 00:46:18.949
in the boot or in the footwell. But like, there's
1209
00:46:19.400 --> 00:46:22.000
no doing that these days. Like even me mentioning that
1210
00:46:22.039 --> 00:46:25.139
to Daisy, like just shove him in between your legs
1211
00:46:25.199 --> 00:46:25.760
down there.
1212
00:46:25.840 --> 00:46:27.820
My dad used to build a seat in the boot
1213
00:46:28.019 --> 00:46:31.300
of a state car with suitcases and we'd sit on
1214
00:46:31.340 --> 00:46:33.920
the suitcase facing out the window on the motorway. Yeah.
1215
00:46:34.239 --> 00:46:36.000
So then he still had the ability to buy a
1216
00:46:36.059 --> 00:46:39.519
reasonably priced car rather than getting a fucking seven seater
1217
00:46:39.559 --> 00:46:41.809
or something bigger. And you don't think, so you've got
1218
00:46:41.829 --> 00:46:43.769
to buy that. And then you go, oh, fuck, what
1219
00:46:43.789 --> 00:46:46.829
about holidays? And you go, well, the options are you
1220
00:46:46.869 --> 00:46:49.280
either have to buy the fucking top end suite that
1221
00:46:49.360 --> 00:46:51.340
fits everyone in, that costs you an arm and a leg,
1222
00:46:51.860 --> 00:46:54.159
or you have to buy two so you can fit
1223
00:46:54.179 --> 00:46:55.800
things and then try and get them together. And that
1224
00:46:55.820 --> 00:46:58.760
still costs you arm and leg. And then we went
1225
00:46:58.800 --> 00:47:01.860
to Greece. I said, look, we'll buy two rooms for
1226
00:47:01.889 --> 00:47:04.110
the thing. We've got four kids, et cetera. They've got
1227
00:47:04.130 --> 00:47:05.690
to be next to each other because they're quite young
1228
00:47:05.750 --> 00:47:08.730
kids and it would just be fucking carnage or this lot.
1229
00:47:09.820 --> 00:47:11.960
And it was opposite ends of the hotel when we arrived.
1230
00:47:11.980 --> 00:47:14.360
I'm then too polite to actually kick up a fuss
1231
00:47:14.380 --> 00:47:15.960
because I'm like, oh, well, we're here now. I just
1232
00:47:15.980 --> 00:47:19.659
want to relax. And then it's just fucking batshit crazy.
1233
00:47:19.880 --> 00:47:23.480
And this year we decided, no, let's just drive four
1234
00:47:23.519 --> 00:47:26.460
and a half hours to Norfolk because that'll be fun.
1235
00:47:26.980 --> 00:47:30.420
And yeah, we just kept more staycation this year. And
1236
00:47:30.460 --> 00:47:33.480
we loved it. Norfolk was gorgeous. It's so expensive for
1237
00:47:33.519 --> 00:47:36.199
the flights. You've got to get six flights. How can
1238
00:47:36.219 --> 00:47:38.889
you justify? But she's not even as big as my leg.
1239
00:47:39.420 --> 00:47:41.119
And I've got to pay for a seat that's the
1240
00:47:41.159 --> 00:47:43.710
same thing. And she's not going to sit in it.
1241
00:47:43.880 --> 00:47:46.440
So what's the point? Can you maybe just give us
1242
00:47:46.500 --> 00:47:49.059
a ticket that's like a quarter of the price, but
1243
00:47:49.079 --> 00:47:51.179
you also tell all the other passengers who look at
1244
00:47:51.219 --> 00:47:53.960
you and frown at you if your baby's crying or
1245
00:47:54.000 --> 00:47:55.500
whatever on the plane.
1246
00:47:55.599 --> 00:47:57.980
Especially you sat in the middle with your big back.
1247
00:47:58.449 --> 00:48:01.949
Your elbow getting hit by the drinks trolley every two minutes.
1248
00:48:02.269 --> 00:48:04.570
We actually had that on the last holiday we went to.
1249
00:48:04.590 --> 00:48:08.099
We went to Dubai. And I booked the ticket. So
1250
00:48:08.119 --> 00:48:10.619
we're all together and we get on the plane. There's
1251
00:48:10.659 --> 00:48:13.150
this tall chap in there. It doesn't speak a word
1252
00:48:13.170 --> 00:48:16.469
of English. So I'm going to really struggle here. I
1253
00:48:16.670 --> 00:48:20.010
think you're sitting in my kid's seat. Cause we're all together.
1254
00:48:20.309 --> 00:48:23.159
And he was like, no, this is my seat. I've
1255
00:48:23.179 --> 00:48:25.000
paid extra for it. I was like, you know, I
1256
00:48:25.000 --> 00:48:27.519
get that, but that's the same seat as what's over
1257
00:48:27.559 --> 00:48:30.750
there in 36 J. So like, do you mind just
1258
00:48:30.809 --> 00:48:33.610
swapping with the thing? And he just flat out refused.
1259
00:48:33.820 --> 00:48:35.980
So then we were like, this is a big moment.
1260
00:48:36.300 --> 00:48:37.960
We chose the 10 year old to go and sit
1261
00:48:38.000 --> 00:48:41.460
off on his own because the others would have just
1262
00:48:41.639 --> 00:48:43.559
gone mental on that flight.
1263
00:48:43.639 --> 00:48:44.480
And how did he do?
1264
00:48:45.019 --> 00:48:47.860
He absolutely loved it. We checked on him occasionally, but
1265
00:48:47.920 --> 00:48:49.340
at the end of the flight, I was like, well done, mate.
1266
00:48:49.389 --> 00:48:50.949
We're really proud of you. Like that was big. And
1267
00:48:50.989 --> 00:48:52.969
it's good to actually let your kids, because I don't
1268
00:48:52.989 --> 00:48:55.269
know if you guys are thinking about this, probably not you,
1269
00:48:55.309 --> 00:48:57.690
Josh or, They're still a bit young, but you've got
1270
00:48:57.710 --> 00:48:59.570
to start thinking about when do you start giving them
1271
00:48:59.590 --> 00:49:01.449
a little bit more rope to go and do stuff
1272
00:49:01.489 --> 00:49:01.809
on their own?
1273
00:49:01.829 --> 00:49:02.150
Absolutely, yeah.
1274
00:49:02.449 --> 00:49:04.920
So my eight-year-old, she's nine in a couple of months.
1275
00:49:04.940 --> 00:49:06.619
She's like, can I go to a toilet? So if
1276
00:49:06.639 --> 00:49:08.719
we're in a restaurant, if she's with another girl who's
1277
00:49:08.739 --> 00:49:10.300
like eight or nine, we're like, yeah, you two can
1278
00:49:10.340 --> 00:49:13.610
go together alone without us. And you're just sat the
1279
00:49:13.619 --> 00:49:15.570
whole time going, oh my God. You can't take them
1280
00:49:15.590 --> 00:49:17.329
to the toilet when they're 15. You've got to at
1281
00:49:17.389 --> 00:49:20.090
some point go. We're starting to do that now with...
1282
00:49:20.000 --> 00:49:21.880
like the eight-year-old, but it is like, oh my God.
1283
00:49:21.940 --> 00:49:24.440
But it's just a hard balance. But then especially when
1284
00:49:24.460 --> 00:49:26.380
you've got four, you have to, you've got to do that.
1285
00:49:26.559 --> 00:49:27.579
We can't send a three-year-old.
1286
00:49:28.159 --> 00:49:31.179
Oh mate, like some of the stuff. I've been away
1287
00:49:31.460 --> 00:49:33.360
and my missus has decided to take them out for
1288
00:49:33.380 --> 00:49:35.449
the day or whatever. They're bored. I'm taking them out.
1289
00:49:35.989 --> 00:49:38.510
And then I'll get a video. And the video is
1290
00:49:38.590 --> 00:49:41.320
all of them. one's planned with the hairdryer, one's planned
1291
00:49:41.340 --> 00:49:43.599
with the sink. And I'm like, I'm thinking, she was like,
1292
00:49:44.099 --> 00:49:46.960
I was desperate for a shit and none of them
1293
00:49:47.260 --> 00:49:50.710
like would stay at the table. So they all came
1294
00:49:50.750 --> 00:49:53.789
with me in the disabled baby change toilet. And then
1295
00:49:53.809 --> 00:49:56.429
they're all in there like this. Oh my God, this stinks.
1296
00:49:56.469 --> 00:49:57.889
Yes.
1297
00:49:58.530 --> 00:50:00.699
And Daisy's sitting there like, what the fuck am I
1298
00:50:00.719 --> 00:50:02.760
doing with my life? Like I can't even have a
1299
00:50:02.840 --> 00:50:04.320
shit in peace.
1300
00:50:04.940 --> 00:50:06.739
That happened to me the other day when we were
1301
00:50:06.780 --> 00:50:08.900
swimming with the girls. It's a male changing room. So
1302
00:50:08.920 --> 00:50:10.579
I was like, I don't want you just waiting outside.
1303
00:50:10.599 --> 00:50:12.000
I want you to come in. And then when it's
1304
00:50:12.019 --> 00:50:14.889
a tiny little cubicle in the disabled toilet, and I'm
1305
00:50:14.929 --> 00:50:18.070
just churning out a horrific dad shit. And they're going,
1306
00:50:18.989 --> 00:50:21.210
and they're not like going, oh, stinky poop. They're going, dad,
1307
00:50:21.289 --> 00:50:23.989
that is what's happening. What is going on? Why is
1308
00:50:24.050 --> 00:50:25.909
it so bad? I'm like, it's just, I had a
1309
00:50:25.949 --> 00:50:28.610
couple of beers. And you're like, I feel like I'm
1310
00:50:28.650 --> 00:50:31.409
scarring the kids more. It's worse in here than out there.
1311
00:50:31.730 --> 00:50:33.840
You just go back with, oh, you think your shit
1312
00:50:33.880 --> 00:50:34.340
don't stink.
1313
00:50:34.679 --> 00:50:34.969
All right.
1314
00:50:35.070 --> 00:50:36.400
Some of the stuff that I've cleared up out of
1315
00:50:36.420 --> 00:50:36.630
you lot.
1316
00:50:36.659 --> 00:50:40.000
Let's be honest. Be honest. Get kids poo dusting. But
1317
00:50:40.360 --> 00:50:42.440
me and you, and Josh doesn't drink now, but I'm
1318
00:50:42.500 --> 00:50:44.719
sure me and you have had similar nights. We have
1319
00:50:44.800 --> 00:50:47.579
quite a few pints and maybe a curry. And the
1320
00:50:47.659 --> 00:50:50.280
next day, it's a different level, isn't it?
1321
00:50:50.280 --> 00:50:52.340
Oh, it doesn't. It doesn't even have to be a
1322
00:50:52.340 --> 00:50:56.360
night out. I regularly shit three times before 9am and
1323
00:50:56.380 --> 00:50:59.059
they're all horrific. So it doesn't have to be a
1324
00:50:59.059 --> 00:51:02.199
night out, but you're right. What about other kids poos?
1325
00:51:03.039 --> 00:51:05.059
If you've got mates or whatever and they're like, shit,
1326
00:51:05.099 --> 00:51:07.300
you're like, no way am I helping you tidy that
1327
00:51:07.380 --> 00:51:10.889
up or whatever. I can't handle it. My kid's poos.
1328
00:51:11.090 --> 00:51:12.969
Why are you clearing up other people's shit?
1329
00:51:12.989 --> 00:51:13.650
No, I'm not.
1330
00:51:13.670 --> 00:51:15.050
What mate is going?
1331
00:51:15.250 --> 00:51:18.570
They're offering, can't you do that one instead? Nah. Well, no,
1332
00:51:18.630 --> 00:51:21.690
I've fucking done my days with nappies, mate. You do this.
1333
00:51:21.730 --> 00:51:22.309
This is your.
1334
00:51:22.650 --> 00:51:23.329
Till you have your fifth.
1335
00:51:24.750 --> 00:51:26.829
No, because then I'm not going to have my fifth, Josh.
1336
00:51:26.849 --> 00:51:28.650
We didn't finish that bit because I'm booked in for
1337
00:51:28.670 --> 00:51:31.170
a sectomy. Oh, when you're going.
1338
00:51:31.210 --> 00:51:31.289
Yeah.
1339
00:51:32.019 --> 00:51:34.320
Well, it's meant to be next Monday, but the club.
1340
00:51:34.340 --> 00:51:36.079
You just desperately don't want to play rugby again, do you?
1341
00:51:36.400 --> 00:51:38.579
Well, that's it. The club are now like, don't think
1342
00:51:38.599 --> 00:51:40.500
you should have a vasectomy when you're trying to rehab
1343
00:51:40.539 --> 00:51:40.860
and all that.
1344
00:51:41.340 --> 00:51:44.539
You've had eight weeks off on the piss at Camp Festival, maybe.
1345
00:51:44.909 --> 00:51:48.130
That was a really inconvenient time. Whereas now, right now
1346
00:51:48.170 --> 00:51:52.769
that I'm in my job work, I'm whispering because they're
1347
00:51:52.809 --> 00:51:55.489
next door and they're like, fucking hell, probably... I was like, yeah,
1348
00:51:55.530 --> 00:51:57.590
but it's a medical need. They're like, it's not a
1349
00:51:57.650 --> 00:52:00.510
fucking urgent medical need, is it? Just stop having sex
1350
00:52:00.530 --> 00:52:02.940
with your wife. Just wrap it up and slap it up. Well,
1351
00:52:02.960 --> 00:52:06.039
that's not the issue, mate. The sex fucking doesn't happen anyway.
1352
00:52:06.059 --> 00:52:10.739
I just want the safety. Do you know what I mean?
1353
00:52:10.780 --> 00:52:11.639
Just in case.
1354
00:52:11.969 --> 00:52:15.389
Fuck's sake. But going for the consultation for that was
1355
00:52:15.429 --> 00:52:18.340
a real pain. eye opener because no i got there
1356
00:52:18.409 --> 00:52:20.429
anyway are you sure you want to protect me i
1357
00:52:20.429 --> 00:52:22.719
went yeah like mrs one and more kids and i
1358
00:52:22.860 --> 00:52:24.539
yeah i think she's the one he was like how
1359
00:52:24.579 --> 00:52:26.079
long you've been together i was like nearly 10 years
1360
00:52:26.099 --> 00:52:28.039
he said yeah i think she's probably the one then
1361
00:52:28.280 --> 00:52:31.340
i was like cool um he said right drop your
1362
00:52:31.360 --> 00:52:33.300
trousers and get on the bed i went are you
1363
00:52:33.340 --> 00:52:37.860
doing it now no no i need to check it
1364
00:52:37.900 --> 00:52:40.000
all out i went all right good job i had
1365
00:52:40.019 --> 00:52:42.639
a shower and stuff here we go and then he's
1366
00:52:42.679 --> 00:52:45.639
you know fiddling around with it and thinking you're immediately
1367
00:52:46.039 --> 00:52:48.320
in your head you're like just don't get excited and
1368
00:52:48.360 --> 00:52:50.119
then he was describing it to me and about the
1369
00:52:50.179 --> 00:52:53.119
burning of the flesh and it does have a particular
1370
00:52:53.179 --> 00:52:55.199
smell and i'm like what the fuck mate you're meant
1371
00:52:55.239 --> 00:52:58.070
to be convincing me to get it done not have
1372
00:52:58.110 --> 00:52:59.730
it not done i said could i be put to
1373
00:52:59.769 --> 00:53:03.489
sleep for it and he said well you can but
1374
00:53:03.510 --> 00:53:05.610
i wouldn't advise it you're like you're fine to do
1375
00:53:05.650 --> 00:53:07.750
it under local i was like yeah but i don't
1376
00:53:07.789 --> 00:53:09.710
like the idea of that smelling or whatever he said
1377
00:53:09.750 --> 00:53:12.329
well you can it's It'll be an extra two grand.
1378
00:53:12.349 --> 00:53:13.880
I went, fuck off. Really?
1379
00:53:14.760 --> 00:53:15.559
Fucking hell.
1380
00:53:15.619 --> 00:53:17.300
You can do it now if you want, mate, with
1381
00:53:17.360 --> 00:53:19.119
no money. Like, just get rid of it. Just hold
1382
00:53:19.139 --> 00:53:22.239
your nose. Just hold your nose. But two grand extra
1383
00:53:22.280 --> 00:53:24.739
just to have your knob cut open.
1384
00:53:24.940 --> 00:53:27.480
I've had a weird thing that had to be cut
1385
00:53:27.500 --> 00:53:30.969
off my finger and they basically burn it. They inject
1386
00:53:31.030 --> 00:53:31.820
it so you can't feel it.
1387
00:53:32.110 --> 00:53:34.110
What, you used to ejaculate out your finger?
1388
00:53:36.510 --> 00:53:40.179
Spider-Man. But they burn it. They burn it once they've
1389
00:53:40.199 --> 00:53:42.219
cut it out. And the smell, it's all right. It's fine.
1390
00:53:42.699 --> 00:53:44.820
You'll be all right, mate. Try and forget it's your
1391
00:53:44.840 --> 00:53:47.650
dick that's burning. We've got one last question. It's about Daisy.
1392
00:53:47.670 --> 00:53:49.289
We ask everyone, what's the one thing she does?
1393
00:53:49.309 --> 00:53:50.269
It's not always about Daisy.
1394
00:53:50.409 --> 00:53:51.610
Well, not about Daisy, but people's partners.
1395
00:53:51.639 --> 00:53:53.139
You ask about my wife every week.
1396
00:53:54.989 --> 00:53:57.630
Yeah, every week. It's got to be quite a niche. No,
1397
00:53:57.789 --> 00:54:00.010
it is. But that people's partners. What's the one thing
1398
00:54:00.050 --> 00:54:03.920
she does that's amazing and you're so happy and lucky
1399
00:54:04.000 --> 00:54:05.559
to have children with her? And then is there one
1400
00:54:05.599 --> 00:54:07.699
thing she does that frustrates you a little bit? But
1401
00:54:07.739 --> 00:54:09.559
considering how much time you stay away from home, you
1402
00:54:09.579 --> 00:54:10.400
don't have to answer that one.
1403
00:54:11.000 --> 00:54:12.780
Let's start with the negative and then we can finish
1404
00:54:12.840 --> 00:54:13.380
on the positive.
1405
00:54:13.900 --> 00:54:14.920
Yeah, good.
1406
00:54:15.260 --> 00:54:17.090
The negative. And it's quite fresh in my mind at
1407
00:54:17.110 --> 00:54:19.030
the minute. So I'm a bit of a night owl.
1408
00:54:19.150 --> 00:54:21.289
So I like to relax and watch TV in bed.
1409
00:54:21.849 --> 00:54:24.210
yeah like thinking well she's like i'm shattered because i've
1410
00:54:24.260 --> 00:54:26.179
actually been doing stuff all day and you've just been
1411
00:54:26.199 --> 00:54:28.679
doing fuck all that's fine and then she'd always be
1412
00:54:28.699 --> 00:54:30.960
like oh can you turn the tv because funny enough
1413
00:54:31.099 --> 00:54:34.179
i'm really got great hearing with these like luggles.
1414
00:54:34.019 --> 00:54:36.519
Oh wow yeah purely shut up yeah.
1415
00:54:36.500 --> 00:54:38.619
Yeah she'd like oh can you turn the tv down
1416
00:54:38.659 --> 00:54:41.179
i'm like yeah okay cool only for her to then
1417
00:54:41.239 --> 00:54:43.869
fall asleep in my arms you know loving cuddle and
1418
00:54:43.889 --> 00:54:45.809
all that like i only fall asleep in my arms
1419
00:54:46.539 --> 00:54:48.559
whilst I'm trying to watch TV, that she's told me
1420
00:54:48.579 --> 00:54:50.260
to turn down and I'm not allowed to turn it
1421
00:54:50.320 --> 00:54:51.739
up in case it wakes the kids up or the
1422
00:54:51.780 --> 00:54:52.320
fucking dogs.
1423
00:54:52.460 --> 00:54:54.360
I'm assuming it was snoring, Joe, was it?
1424
00:54:54.570 --> 00:54:59.130
Fucking snoring, mate. It's fucking snoring. I'm like, what is
1425
00:54:59.150 --> 00:55:01.750
going on here? And you're dribbling all over my arm.
1426
00:55:02.210 --> 00:55:04.329
As a friend, I'd guide you towards a positive as
1427
00:55:04.409 --> 00:55:07.389
quick as you can. Okay, fine. Just to save yourself.
1428
00:55:07.829 --> 00:55:10.679
Aside from everything she does with bringing the kids up,
1429
00:55:10.710 --> 00:55:13.199
and we touched on it earlier with... She was born
1430
00:55:13.239 --> 00:55:15.829
to be a mum, like, just got so much love
1431
00:55:15.869 --> 00:55:18.150
to give. I don't know how big her fucking heart
1432
00:55:18.250 --> 00:55:21.210
is because she just loves everything and everyone. And she's
1433
00:55:21.230 --> 00:55:22.809
got so much love to give, even to the point
1434
00:55:22.829 --> 00:55:25.070
of now she's convinced, rather than having another kid, we've
1435
00:55:25.090 --> 00:55:28.550
just got a puppy, actually. That was the deal. We're
1436
00:55:28.590 --> 00:55:30.550
up to three dogs. Fuck off.
1437
00:55:31.719 --> 00:55:32.480
You fuck off.
1438
00:55:32.659 --> 00:55:35.619
It's four kids and three dogs.
1439
00:55:35.679 --> 00:55:36.300
I'm like, oh, God.
1440
00:55:36.340 --> 00:55:42.039
Jesus Christ. back to positive, you know, she's, uh, so
1441
00:55:42.059 --> 00:55:46.480
much love give and she's helped me through so much
1442
00:55:46.619 --> 00:55:50.320
and realize the calm in nature and actually the loving nature.
1443
00:55:50.340 --> 00:55:53.639
And that's what a wishy-washy answer to actually get. I
1444
00:55:53.659 --> 00:55:55.949
just love her, mate. I couldn't do any of it without,
1445
00:55:56.050 --> 00:55:58.630
you know, we've both created and both got an input
1446
00:55:58.670 --> 00:56:00.789
into it. Of course we have, but like you, you said,
1447
00:56:00.829 --> 00:56:03.869
I've been away a lot these last 10 years and
1448
00:56:03.929 --> 00:56:06.090
a lot of it has been down to her and she's,
1449
00:56:06.780 --> 00:56:09.659
never fucking moaned, never been an issue about it, always
1450
00:56:09.679 --> 00:56:15.190
been supportive and encouraging of my selfish career aspirations of like,
1451
00:56:15.309 --> 00:56:17.369
I know what we're getting into. I'm up for this.
1452
00:56:17.550 --> 00:56:19.889
Let's go and love it. And I couldn't have done
1453
00:56:19.929 --> 00:56:21.869
any of it without her. So she's fucking brilliant.
1454
00:56:22.250 --> 00:56:24.469
She sounds incredible. And especially, you know, as you spoke before,
1455
00:56:24.860 --> 00:56:26.659
quite open about, you know, when you hit that rock
1456
00:56:26.699 --> 00:56:28.880
bottom and she was there for you and what she's
1457
00:56:28.900 --> 00:56:30.960
done for you. And like, if you just Google photos
1458
00:56:31.000 --> 00:56:33.980
of Joe Marla, there's two different people there. The way
1459
00:56:34.000 --> 00:56:36.750
you are now, you're so happy and, you know, and
1460
00:56:36.809 --> 00:56:39.329
seeming such a great place. And it's really inspiring, I think, Joe.
1461
00:56:39.349 --> 00:56:40.389
So don't forget that.
1462
00:56:40.929 --> 00:56:44.099
Lads, I've really fucking loved talking to you guys.
1463
00:56:44.199 --> 00:56:44.940
Oh, it's been great.
1464
00:56:45.039 --> 00:56:47.480
I love listening to your podcast and you two are
1465
00:56:47.519 --> 00:56:48.239
fucking brilliant.
1466
00:56:48.480 --> 00:56:50.920
Cheers, Joe. All the best. Cheers, boys.
1467
00:56:51.039 --> 00:56:51.840
Cheers, bye.
1468
00:56:53.179 --> 00:56:53.909
I love Joe Marlon.
1469
00:56:53.929 --> 00:56:56.230
What a great guy. And that is a great idea
1470
00:56:56.269 --> 00:56:57.929
for a podcast. What a lovely bloke.
1471
00:56:58.349 --> 00:57:01.530
He's absolutely, he's funnier than a comedian, Rob.
1472
00:57:02.090 --> 00:57:03.659
There's a lot of comedians out there robbing and living.
1473
00:57:03.780 --> 00:57:07.130
He's super funny, but his documentary is amazing. It was
1474
00:57:07.170 --> 00:57:08.230
filmed a few years ago on Sky Sports.
1475
00:57:08.250 --> 00:57:09.889
Is that on what, iPlayer? Sky Sports.
1476
00:57:09.909 --> 00:57:11.110
It was on Sky Sports. I don't know where it
1477
00:57:11.130 --> 00:57:12.210
is at the moment. I'm sure you can find it
1478
00:57:12.349 --> 00:57:14.349
maybe on YouTube. But it was released as part of
1479
00:57:14.369 --> 00:57:17.210
Mental Health Awareness Week about his journey with getting therapy
1480
00:57:17.250 --> 00:57:19.949
and stuff. But yeah, it was brilliant. So Joe Marla,
1481
00:57:20.010 --> 00:57:22.510
give his podcast a listen. Things people do.
1482
00:57:22.949 --> 00:57:23.750
Things people do.
1483
00:57:23.909 --> 00:57:26.690
Things people do. Josh, I'll see you next time.
1484
00:57:27.050 --> 00:57:27.369
See you.
1485
00:57:34.940 --> 00:57:35.599
I'm Max Rushton.
1486
00:57:35.840 --> 00:57:36.800
I'm David O'Doherty.
1487
00:57:36.960 --> 00:57:38.079
And we'd like to invite you to listen to our
1488
00:57:38.119 --> 00:57:39.900
new podcast, What Did You Do Yesterday?
1489
00:57:40.079 --> 00:57:43.760
It's a show that asks guests the big question, quite literally,
1490
00:57:44.179 --> 00:57:45.409
what did you do yesterday?
1491
00:57:45.719 --> 00:57:47.389
That's it. That is it.
1492
00:57:48.170 --> 00:57:50.710
Max, I'm still not sure, where do we put the stress?
1493
00:57:50.829 --> 00:57:54.750
Is it what did you do yesterday? What did you
1494
00:57:54.769 --> 00:57:55.469
do yesterday?
1495
00:57:55.489 --> 00:57:56.190
You know what I mean?
1496
00:57:56.230 --> 00:57:57.949
What did you do yesterday?
1497
00:57:58.329 --> 00:57:59.349
I'm really downplaying it.
1498
00:57:59.690 --> 00:58:01.750
Like, what did you do yesterday? Like, I'm just a
1499
00:58:01.789 --> 00:58:03.789
guy just asking a question. But do you think I
1500
00:58:03.809 --> 00:58:07.239
should go bigger? What did you do yesterday? What did
1501
00:58:07.280 --> 00:58:08.039
you do yesterday?
1502
00:58:08.340 --> 00:58:11.039
Every single word this time, I'm going to try and
1503
00:58:11.079 --> 00:58:14.320
make it like it is the killer word. What did
1504
00:58:14.900 --> 00:58:17.960
you do yesterday?
1505
00:58:17.980 --> 00:58:20.019
That's too much, isn't it?
1506
00:58:20.579 --> 00:58:21.500
That's over the top.
1507
00:58:21.980 --> 00:58:24.119
What did you do yesterday? Available wherever you get your
1508
00:58:24.139 --> 00:58:25.159
podcasts every Sunday.