Networking Unleashed: An Interview with Mike Brcic and Michael A Forman, Professional Speaker

WEBVTT
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Welcome to Networking Unleashed, Building Profitable
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Connections, the show where real relationships
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create real opportunity. I'm your host, Michael
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Foreman. Let me ask you something. Have you ever
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been in a room full of people and still felt
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disconnected? In business, we're constantly meeting
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others, exchanging information, and having conversations,
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but genuine connection. the kind that builds
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trust, opens doors, and actually means something,
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is something much harder to find. My guest today
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believes that the quality of your relationships
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is directly tied to how aligned you are with
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yourself. We're talking about why human connection
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matters more than ever, how to move beyond surface
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-level conversations, and what it really takes
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to build relationships that impact both you,
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both your life, and your business. Because at
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the end of the day, the strongest opportunities
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don't come from perfect words. They come from
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real connection. If you want deeper relationships,
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stronger trust, and connections that truly matter,
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you're in the right place. So let's get into
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it. I'd like to welcome to the podcast today,
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Mike Borsick, and he is an expert in this field.
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And Mike, welcome to the podcast. And could you
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give us like a little clip notes of how you got
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where you are today? Yeah, thanks, Michael. First
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off, I'm thrilled to be here. I'm thrilled to
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be chatting with you about this topic that I
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think is near and dear to both our hearts. I
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have been an entrepreneur for 27 years. And I'll
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give you the, as you say, the cliff notes of
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how I got here today. I've been running my current
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company, Wayfinders, for nine years. And really,
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it was born out of my previous business. I was
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aggressively trying to expand that business all
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over the world and bring it on investors. growing
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the team expanding all over the world and as
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the business grew i was encountering more and
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more problems that i was unfamiliar with was
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unqualified untrained to handle so i started
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going to different entrepreneur events joining
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a couple of communities and a lot of these events
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that i went to followed the same format there
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was a speaker on the stage and there was a workshop
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and then a breakout and this and it was really
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just a lot of information being fire hosed at
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me but what i really wanted was just to connect
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with other people and so From my previous business,
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we ran high -end mountain bike trips all over
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the world. And so I was deeply embedded in this
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adventure space. We were taking people outside,
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mountain biking, doing challenging things. And
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I knew that when you bring a group of people
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together and you're doing challenging, fun things
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together, they tend to bond quickly. So I thought,
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what if I took a different spin on the Entrepreneur
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Conference and it was more about connection and
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it was more about fun and challenge and things
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like that together? We could have a little bit
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of information still. anyway so i ran i ran an
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event in 2017 in the canadian rockies out of
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this beautiful cat skiing lodge five days hiking
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mountain biking exploring a little bit of content
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we'd have some panels and stuff like that in
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the afternoon people loved it they asked me to
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do more and here i am nine years later i sold
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that previous business and here i am nine years
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later running events all over the world mongolia
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papua new guinea greenland you name it and really
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feeling blessed to be where i am That actually
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sounds great. And it sounds like you're right.
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It's right in line with what I talk about. I
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go across the country and I talk about it's that
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deep -rooted human connection. And you get so
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much more information than if somebody is spraying
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a fire hose at you and you're trying to take
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a drink. So you're really concentrating on that.
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But let's delve into the questions. You emphasize
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the importance of human connection. Why do so
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many professionals struggle to build it even
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when they're constantly meeting people? Yeah,
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this has been an ongoing journey of mine as well,
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because as an entrepreneur or a professional,
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it's really easy to just get focused on the task
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at hand. And we get we get in front of our laptop
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and we'll spend hours. And that feels like we're
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it feels like we're doing real productive work
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that way. But engaging with people, going for
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lunches or whatever, it doesn't feel it feels
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you can't quite measure that the same way you
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can measure a marketing campaign or a Google
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Ads campaign or whatever. And so it's a little
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bit harder to quantify and it can feel a little
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bit like wasted time. Oh, that lunch was great,
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but I really need to get back to work. And what
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I have found, particularly for my business, is
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that relationship building is not only personally
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nourishing, but it's absolutely the highest ROI
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activity I can do in my business. Try not to
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approach it from a transactional standpoint,
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where it's just trying to check off the boxes
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and meet with people, but take a genuine interest
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in people and genuinely connect with them because
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it feels good to me. It feels good to them. And
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they walk away from that interaction feeling
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uplifted, feeling positively impacted. And that,
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of course, those feelings then extend to my brand.
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And they're just a little bit more likely to
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want to talk about my founders, my company, a
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little more likely to want to take part in it.
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And I'm always on the lookout for ways that I
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can provide value to people, even if it's just
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in the smallest way. And sometimes the most value
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you can, the best way to create easy value for
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people is just make an introduction or make a
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connection. And one of the, when I meet with
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people, you know, two questions that I love to
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ask them are, what are you excited about? And
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what are you struggling with? Or what's a challenge
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these days? Both of those give you a window into
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providing value to somebody. They tell you what
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they're excited about. It's probably some goal
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or some dream or something that they're working
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towards. And what they're challenged by is probably
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something they're a little bit stuck with and
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haven't been able to figure it out. They need
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the right tool. They need the right person, whatever.
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And I can say, hey, I know just the person to
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introduce you that might be able to help with
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that. And if you can introduce somebody to someone
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that helps solve a problem that they've been
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struggling with, do they think of you positively
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after that? Yeah, you hit on so many points that
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are so on point. I don't have time with this
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podcast to go over all of it. But I'll tell you,
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I found that the pandemic was my line in the
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sand. Before the pandemic, things were really
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transactional. I have a widget, you have $3.
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Okay, we'll exchange it and I'm fine. But ever
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since the pandemic, it's become more relational,
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more relationships. Relationships matter. Because
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here we are on Zoom, and after the pandemic,
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that's all things were. But I have to realize
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that you are a person behind the camera. And
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I have to find out, A, what makes you tick, but
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how can I bring value to you without being in
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the same room as you? So that's all how it goes.
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Much more to say about that, but I'm not going
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to go into it. What's the difference between
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being around people and actually feeling connected
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to them? Yeah, great question. One of my friends,
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an Irish fellow by the name of Philip McKernan,
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excellent coach and fellow facilitator, were
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actually collaborating on an event in Iceland
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at the end of May. But he has this saying, relationships
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move at the speed of vulnerability. if you and
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I are going to exist on a level where we talk
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about baseball or we talk about the weather or
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whatever, that's really going to limit our connection.
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But if I'm willing to open up a little bit and
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share who I am, share my hopes, my dreams, my
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struggles, all that kind of stuff, probably some
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of that's going to really resonate with you.
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And some of it you might outright connect with
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because it mirrors your own story or you might
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have empathy for what I'm going through, whatever.
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All of that stuff is adding, just adding more
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fuel to the connection fire. so to speak right
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and the difference between connect just networking
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or surface transaction level and actual genuine
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connection is each party's willingness to go
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a little bit deeper and i have this sort of concept
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that i work with at my events that i call the
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vulnerability ladder and you can't jump a bunch
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of rungs because you're gonna you might freak
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some people out and if it's like you just met
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and all of a sudden you're talking about you're
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struggling with depression or whatever People
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might be, some people might be totally open to
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that. And some people might just withdraw. Hey,
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like I just met you. I just wanted to talk about
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baseball. And so look at it as like you go up
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a rung at a time. And if we connect and we talk
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about baseball, I might say, hey, Tom, and it's
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clear that you're passionate about baseball.
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I'm passionate about baseball, by the way. But
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yeah, and so I ask you, like, hey, tell me, did
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you play baseball growing up? Tell me, what was
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that like? And you might share a story about
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playing catch with your dad or something like
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that. And then, oh, yeah, I used to play catch
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with my dad all the time. Boy, oh, boy, does
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that take it up a couple rungs there instead
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of just talking about the Yankees or whatever,
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but actually our connection to that. And so if
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we can move, slowly move up the vulnerability
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ladder, that connection gets deeper and deeper
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over time. And you just have to, you have to
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measure that ladder and just go up a little bit
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at a time and be willing to. That's the biggest
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thing. It's true. And I use something called
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F -O -R -M, family, occupation, recreation, and
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a certain message. Now, I always try to get the
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conversation around to youth sports. I was a
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baseball coach for 16 years. I was an umpire
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for three years. I know all about baseball and
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what to say. I'm also, I coach on a junior level
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children learning how to play baseball. So I'm
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very passionate about that. But as you said,
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it's a rung on the ladder. So if you get them
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talking about that, people love to talk about
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themselves, right? That's their favorite thing
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in that favorite pastime. But if you can get
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that, you have to build that level of trust.
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And as you're speaking, as they are speaking,
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and they're telling you their story, there's
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a wall between the two of you. And that wall
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is coming down, but that trust factor is going
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up. And once it makes that change, then you're
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in. Then you can start talking about something
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more. I digress. I can go on again for another
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whole podcast. I just want to say, as you, you're
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talking about your 16 year history of coaching
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baseball and umpiring. We just moved around up
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a ladder because I feel more connected to you.
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I'm curious. I want to talk to you about baseball.
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And I used to coach my son's baseball team and
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it instantly feels, oh, there's a real connection
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here. And, and so it's a simple con. concept.
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And my favorite way to move up that ladder is
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just through stories, getting curious about,
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genuinely curious about other people, ask them
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to share some stories. People love telling stories
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and then you get a window into their life and
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that moves you up the ladder. Absolutely. Absolutely.
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And just by that fact of we're through Zoom right
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now, we're going through Zoom, but now we've
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created that vibe. I keep saying, I'm referring
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to that vibe, but we've gotten that much closer.
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to it. So it works. How does a lack of personal
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alignment show up in the way someone builds relationships?
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Yeah, yeah. Thank you for that question. So alignment
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to me is just this ongoing process of really
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getting to know myself and understanding who
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I am and who I am at my core. Because as human
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beings, Growing up, we're subject to all these
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different influences and all of these different
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ideas about who we are and who we should be and
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how we should be and what we should be in the
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world. And then you get into adulthood and it's
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very confusing. Who the heck am I? You get into
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your 20s and 30s and you're starting to ask these
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questions of who am I? Because you have to consider
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it a bit of a process of archaeology, of sifting
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through all this sediment of what people have
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told me I should be and what I should be and
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who I should be and getting to know the person
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at the core. And unless I'm willing to go through
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that process and really get to know myself and
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find deeper alignment, and alignment to me just
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means alignment between who I am at my core and
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my outer world, my work, my relationships, where
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I live, all this, bringing those two into alignment
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so there's more of connection between those two
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things. and so that personal alignment getting
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to know myself then i get to know who are the
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type of people that i really genuinely want to
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spend time with and who are the people that light
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me up and energize me and who are the people
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that drain me because sometimes the biggest drain
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psychological drain is when we have to show up
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in with another person or a certain environment
00:13:05.409 --> 00:13:08.289
and we feel like we have to adopt a persona in
00:13:08.289 --> 00:13:10.190
that person's presence we have to be somebody
00:13:10.190 --> 00:13:12.590
we're not and that's really psychologically draining
00:13:12.590 --> 00:13:14.309
if you have to keep doing it over and you can't
00:13:14.309 --> 00:13:17.190
be your true genuine self so that alignment is
00:13:17.190 --> 00:13:19.690
just in in the context of relationships it's
00:13:19.690 --> 00:13:22.350
just being in places where i feel like i can
00:13:22.350 --> 00:13:25.330
just be myself i don't have to pretend i don't
00:13:25.330 --> 00:13:27.470
have to censor myself i don't whatever that may
00:13:27.470 --> 00:13:29.750
be and if that doesn't jive with the other person
00:13:29.750 --> 00:13:32.360
then Great. Then move on. Find somebody I do
00:13:32.360 --> 00:13:36.700
align with. Absolutely. I, from a hundred years
00:13:36.700 --> 00:13:40.379
ago, when I first began all of this, I went to
00:13:40.379 --> 00:13:42.840
the school of hard knocks. I learned how to do
00:13:42.840 --> 00:13:46.179
everything wrong before I did it correctly. And
00:13:46.179 --> 00:13:50.379
I was always thinking I had to be on. I had to
00:13:50.379 --> 00:13:53.500
be this version that was always on. When I got
00:13:53.500 --> 00:13:57.889
home, I was mentally tired. I can just go to
00:13:57.889 --> 00:14:01.309
sleep right away. And I realized that I don't
00:14:01.309 --> 00:14:04.269
have to be somebody else. I have to be myself,
00:14:04.370 --> 00:14:06.950
be the best version of myself. But I have to
00:14:06.950 --> 00:14:09.809
be myself. And then it takes all that pressure
00:14:09.809 --> 00:14:13.590
off. And you can just go through and really enjoy
00:14:13.590 --> 00:14:16.929
what it is that you do. Because life is short.
00:14:17.269 --> 00:14:21.129
Life is short. When someone is truly aligned
00:14:21.129 --> 00:14:25.090
with who they are. What changes in the way that
00:14:25.090 --> 00:14:29.409
others experience them in conversations? People
00:14:29.409 --> 00:14:32.409
who are really, truly genuinely aligned and have
00:14:32.409 --> 00:14:35.470
a very strong sense of who they are in the world,
00:14:35.529 --> 00:14:39.090
those people are rare. And when you encounter
00:14:39.090 --> 00:14:42.169
those people, they emit a certain energy and
00:14:42.169 --> 00:14:48.480
you can feel that energy. When I'm in the presence
00:14:48.480 --> 00:14:51.379
of people who are just 100 % absolute, with 100
00:14:51.379 --> 00:14:54.519
% conviction, know who they are, and that's how
00:14:54.519 --> 00:14:57.360
they live in the world, it's powerful and it's
00:14:57.360 --> 00:14:59.259
energizing. I want to be around more of that.
00:14:59.399 --> 00:15:02.080
And so the more you step into that, the more
00:15:02.080 --> 00:15:04.080
of a magnet you are. And you give other people
00:15:04.080 --> 00:15:06.620
license to do the same because they're like,
00:15:06.779 --> 00:15:08.940
hey, what is that person doing? And then you
00:15:08.940 --> 00:15:11.440
can feel it like, hey, that person is just being
00:15:11.440 --> 00:15:14.480
themselves and they don't care what other people
00:15:14.480 --> 00:15:18.840
think. And it's taken me a long time to get to
00:15:18.840 --> 00:15:22.500
this point because I have very strong convictions
00:15:22.500 --> 00:15:27.019
in who I am. No desire to be anything other than
00:15:27.019 --> 00:15:29.720
what I am. And I know that when I'm in the presence
00:15:29.720 --> 00:15:32.620
of others, they feel more relaxed in just being
00:15:32.620 --> 00:15:36.799
themselves. And so really that's my goal and
00:15:36.799 --> 00:15:38.960
how I move through the world. And it requires
00:15:38.960 --> 00:15:41.559
a great deal of self -awareness and self -consciousness
00:15:41.559 --> 00:15:44.080
because it's very easy to fall back into that
00:15:44.080 --> 00:15:46.720
trap. We put on certain masks, we adopt certain
00:15:46.720 --> 00:15:48.899
personas, and you have to catch yourself. Wait
00:15:48.899 --> 00:15:51.639
a minute, I'm doing that thing again. I was the
00:15:51.639 --> 00:15:53.399
same way. I had to always be on. And for me,
00:15:53.399 --> 00:15:57.240
it was like in my 20s, I was the... super energetic
00:15:57.240 --> 00:16:00.379
party animal always the life of the party and
00:16:00.379 --> 00:16:02.360
that's how I that's how I got attention but then
00:16:02.360 --> 00:16:04.759
as I got older I realized that was just it was
00:16:04.759 --> 00:16:07.500
the way I tried to get validation from the world
00:16:07.500 --> 00:16:09.200
and the way I tried to get attention stuff like
00:16:09.200 --> 00:16:11.720
that and it and it was exhausting having to be
00:16:11.720 --> 00:16:14.240
that person all the time wait a minute it's okay
00:16:14.240 --> 00:16:17.480
if I'm just like chill and mellow and or sometimes
00:16:17.480 --> 00:16:20.399
sad or whatever I don't have to be so you know
00:16:20.840 --> 00:16:22.899
When you do that, you just give lessons to other
00:16:22.899 --> 00:16:25.080
people to just say, hey, I can be myself as well.
00:16:25.179 --> 00:16:27.360
And we just need more people to just be themselves.
00:16:27.659 --> 00:16:32.000
I realize that. And I think age has a lot to
00:16:32.000 --> 00:16:34.500
do with it. The older you get, the more you realize
00:16:34.500 --> 00:16:38.159
it. I'm in the 20s. I was in the military. I
00:16:38.159 --> 00:16:41.360
was strong. I had everything going for me. In
00:16:41.360 --> 00:16:45.320
my 30s, I started my family. And the 40s, the
00:16:45.320 --> 00:16:49.220
50s, I'm in my 60s now. And I am just saying,
00:16:49.299 --> 00:16:52.519
you know what? I am who I am. If you don't like
00:16:52.519 --> 00:16:55.779
it, leave. But I am who I am when I go out to
00:16:55.779 --> 00:16:59.179
networking events. Now, I do networking events
00:16:59.179 --> 00:17:02.240
probably two or three times a week. And I just
00:17:02.240 --> 00:17:07.039
go on myself. I have my own networking meeting
00:17:07.039 --> 00:17:11.339
every week with about 15 or 20 businesses. So
00:17:11.339 --> 00:17:15.220
I get to do that every week. And I get to just
00:17:15.220 --> 00:17:17.559
be myself, but then turn it over. And I try to
00:17:17.559 --> 00:17:20.619
teach everybody else to do that. before they
00:17:20.619 --> 00:17:24.140
get to their 60s yeah can i just say you look
00:17:24.140 --> 00:17:28.720
fantastic for a guy in the 60s thank you yeah
00:17:28.720 --> 00:17:32.359
thank you thank you i should show my wife this
00:17:32.359 --> 00:17:37.740
video yeah yeah but she's in her 70s and she
00:17:37.740 --> 00:17:40.640
looks fantastic so that's amazing i lucked out
00:17:40.640 --> 00:17:45.039
i lucked out yeah okay why do surface level interactions
00:17:45.980 --> 00:17:48.900
feels so common in professional settings and
00:17:48.900 --> 00:17:52.740
how can someone move beyond them? I think a lot
00:17:52.740 --> 00:17:57.740
of that is we are, you know, I think for decades
00:17:57.740 --> 00:18:01.059
now, there's been this increasing crisis of isolation
00:18:01.059 --> 00:18:04.539
and loneliness and COVID of course, just ratcheted
00:18:04.539 --> 00:18:08.759
that up a huge knot. And so as humans, we're
00:18:08.759 --> 00:18:11.960
not, we've become less and less skilled at this
00:18:11.960 --> 00:18:15.279
art. of human connection genuine true human connection
00:18:15.279 --> 00:18:19.180
so that's part of it but also we've been trained
00:18:19.180 --> 00:18:22.460
that to act put on the business mask put on the
00:18:22.460 --> 00:18:25.579
professional mask put on your suit show up professional
00:18:25.579 --> 00:18:29.759
in in these types of environments and so it feels
00:18:29.759 --> 00:18:32.200
very awkward to let down your guard and take
00:18:32.200 --> 00:18:34.680
off your mask and relax and be genuine and but
00:18:34.680 --> 00:18:37.440
again the way through that is not that complicated
00:18:37.440 --> 00:18:41.200
it's just be curious be genuinely curious about
00:18:41.200 --> 00:18:42.839
the other person like you said people like to
00:18:42.839 --> 00:18:44.619
talk about themselves and they appreciate that
00:18:44.619 --> 00:18:47.039
and we've all been in the company of people who
00:18:47.039 --> 00:18:49.480
just talk endlessly about themselves and we just
00:18:49.480 --> 00:18:51.160
glaze over and we're like oh my god what a jerk
00:18:51.160 --> 00:18:53.559
or whatever but when people are actually you
00:18:53.559 --> 00:18:56.180
can feel it they're genuinely curious about the
00:18:56.180 --> 00:18:58.720
about you it feels really good it feels really
00:18:58.720 --> 00:19:00.819
energizing so if you can bring that energy to
00:19:00.819 --> 00:19:03.640
a room and just a few good questions like i said
00:19:03.640 --> 00:19:06.160
what are you excited about what are you what
00:19:06.160 --> 00:19:07.880
you know what's challenging these days those
00:19:07.880 --> 00:19:10.559
are two great windows into hearing about another
00:19:10.559 --> 00:19:12.900
person's experience and most people will respond
00:19:12.900 --> 00:19:16.900
well to those and then as you start to go through
00:19:16.900 --> 00:19:19.720
that you might see some opportunities for picking
00:19:19.720 --> 00:19:22.180
out some stories hey tell me a story about tell
00:19:22.180 --> 00:19:24.039
me a story about one of your favorite moments
00:19:24.039 --> 00:19:26.359
coaching baseball or your proudest moments coaching
00:19:26.359 --> 00:19:29.680
baseball in your case I'm sure you could go down
00:19:29.680 --> 00:19:31.700
that rabbit hole pretty deep and I could go down
00:19:31.700 --> 00:19:34.180
that rabbit hole pretty deep with you. And we're
00:19:34.180 --> 00:19:35.660
not talking about business at all or whatever,
00:19:35.759 --> 00:19:38.460
but at the end of that conversation, I'm probably
00:19:38.460 --> 00:19:40.480
considerably more likely to want to do business
00:19:40.480 --> 00:19:43.740
with you and you with me because we want to do
00:19:43.740 --> 00:19:46.220
business with people we vibe with and people
00:19:46.220 --> 00:19:49.019
that we think are kind and curious and all that
00:19:49.019 --> 00:19:52.900
kind of stuff. So that to me, it just feels good.
00:19:52.980 --> 00:19:55.480
I don't want to talk about business when I'm
00:19:55.480 --> 00:19:56.960
at a business event. I want to talk about...
00:19:57.200 --> 00:19:59.160
human beings and stories. And then we can get
00:19:59.160 --> 00:20:02.500
to business later on. Whatever I, because I go
00:20:02.500 --> 00:20:04.900
across the country and I talk about networking,
00:20:05.079 --> 00:20:07.920
business communication and leadership and all
00:20:07.920 --> 00:20:11.259
that. I do workshops in all these companies.
00:20:11.720 --> 00:20:15.819
And what I stress is that when you have a one
00:20:15.819 --> 00:20:18.960
-on -one meeting, the first 10 minutes, don't
00:20:18.960 --> 00:20:22.000
talk business. Don't talk business. Look around.
00:20:22.440 --> 00:20:25.039
the office, look around the room. What do you
00:20:25.039 --> 00:20:28.539
see? Do you see pictures of his family? Do you
00:20:28.539 --> 00:20:31.839
see pictures of grandchildren? Do you see pictures
00:20:31.839 --> 00:20:35.099
on the wall of music, of art? You can pick up
00:20:35.099 --> 00:20:37.740
on so much. You have about 30 seconds to pick
00:20:37.740 --> 00:20:41.359
up on everything. And ask about it. Ask those
00:20:41.359 --> 00:20:45.059
questions. And by asking those questions, you're
00:20:45.059 --> 00:20:49.440
directing him. or her but you're getting to the
00:20:49.440 --> 00:20:52.519
form the family and of course i use a little
00:20:52.519 --> 00:20:57.200
trick if you see photos on somebody's desk and
00:20:57.200 --> 00:21:00.779
if they're facing inward towards him he doesn't
00:21:00.779 --> 00:21:03.680
want to talk about his family if you see them
00:21:03.680 --> 00:21:06.420
on the back credenza they're open where you can
00:21:06.420 --> 00:21:10.619
see the pictures then it's the open season then
00:21:10.619 --> 00:21:13.259
you can ask about the pictures so all these little
00:21:13.259 --> 00:21:17.150
things That you can really pick up, but it's
00:21:17.150 --> 00:21:20.750
all not asking those questions, but not having
00:21:20.750 --> 00:21:24.009
him talk about business like the first 10 minutes.
00:21:24.170 --> 00:21:27.589
But that also depends on where you are, because
00:21:27.589 --> 00:21:31.269
I come from New York. I'm in Georgia now. In
00:21:31.269 --> 00:21:34.269
New York, it's like when I come through the door,
00:21:34.430 --> 00:21:36.769
you better start doing business because I don't
00:21:36.769 --> 00:21:38.809
have time for you. I got 10 minutes for you.
00:21:39.089 --> 00:21:43.650
But in Georgia, the first hour. that i was dealing
00:21:43.650 --> 00:21:46.910
with somebody i couldn't talk business so there's
00:21:46.910 --> 00:21:50.089
a huge difference but getting to the same thing
00:21:50.089 --> 00:21:55.930
yeah what role does vulnerability play in creating
00:21:55.930 --> 00:22:00.609
genuine gen genuine connection especially in
00:22:00.609 --> 00:22:05.990
a professional environment yeah we i mean we
00:22:05.990 --> 00:22:08.869
touched on this quite a bit already vulnerability
00:22:08.869 --> 00:22:13.569
is the glue of connection yeah if If I'm approaching
00:22:13.569 --> 00:22:18.390
my connection with another human being and hiding
00:22:18.390 --> 00:22:21.130
big parts of myself, that's really going to limit
00:22:21.130 --> 00:22:24.869
the depth to which we can go. Whereas if I'm
00:22:24.869 --> 00:22:28.029
open to, over time, not all at once, but if I'm
00:22:28.029 --> 00:22:29.930
open over time, opening up more and more parts
00:22:29.930 --> 00:22:33.289
of myself to the other person and they're willing
00:22:33.289 --> 00:22:36.269
to do the same, that's going to really deepen
00:22:36.269 --> 00:22:40.210
our connection. And it's tricky in a professional
00:22:40.210 --> 00:22:42.009
environment because we're really not used to
00:22:42.009 --> 00:22:45.130
that. that that kind of thing and it also depends
00:22:45.130 --> 00:22:48.750
on the level of your desire right if you work
00:22:48.750 --> 00:22:51.069
in an office with 40 other people you probably
00:22:51.069 --> 00:22:54.170
don't want or probably shouldn't be open and
00:22:54.170 --> 00:22:56.230
vulnerable with every single person in the office
00:22:56.230 --> 00:23:00.150
but there's tons of studies google did this huge
00:23:00.150 --> 00:23:02.250
i think it's about took about two or three year
00:23:02.250 --> 00:23:05.109
year research project called project aristotle
00:23:05.109 --> 00:23:07.990
and they wanted to dissect what are the biggest
00:23:07.990 --> 00:23:10.490
factors that lead to team productivity? The most,
00:23:10.509 --> 00:23:13.029
and of course, Google has thousands of teams
00:23:13.029 --> 00:23:15.650
in their company and what they discovered at
00:23:15.650 --> 00:23:17.809
the end of all this, the biggest contributor
00:23:17.809 --> 00:23:20.700
to employee and team productivity and the teams
00:23:20.700 --> 00:23:22.700
that worked well together was psychological safety
00:23:22.700 --> 00:23:25.480
just and psychological safety is just this idea
00:23:25.480 --> 00:23:28.799
that i can show up i can be myself i can contribute
00:23:28.799 --> 00:23:31.859
ideas i can contribute myself and i won't be
00:23:31.859 --> 00:23:34.619
i won't be shamed for it i won't be put down
00:23:34.619 --> 00:23:36.160
for it i won't be punished for it or whatever
00:23:36.160 --> 00:23:38.960
i can just be safe saying and doing who i am
00:23:38.960 --> 00:23:43.250
and What makes teams psychologically safe is
00:23:43.250 --> 00:23:45.630
there's a high degree of connection among them.
00:23:45.710 --> 00:23:47.789
They see each other as human beings, not just
00:23:47.789 --> 00:23:50.849
as employees or roles or whatever, right? And
00:23:50.849 --> 00:23:52.450
if you're leading a team or you're leading a
00:23:52.450 --> 00:23:56.289
company, and I've done talks on this very topic,
00:23:56.430 --> 00:23:58.990
the number one thing you can do for your productivity
00:23:58.990 --> 00:24:02.329
is make a workplace where people feel like they
00:24:02.329 --> 00:24:05.230
belong. And it doesn't have to be that hard.
00:24:05.349 --> 00:24:07.309
In my previous company at our team meetings,
00:24:07.529 --> 00:24:10.230
we would spend the first 20 minutes of our weekly
00:24:10.230 --> 00:24:12.910
stand -up just connecting as human beings. And
00:24:12.910 --> 00:24:14.710
I would usually seed it with a question or a
00:24:14.710 --> 00:24:16.829
prompt. And over time, we would get to know each
00:24:16.829 --> 00:24:20.630
other. And we would have frequent excursions
00:24:20.630 --> 00:24:22.890
where we'd just go mountain biking together outside
00:24:22.890 --> 00:24:25.329
of the office and just have fun together. Over
00:24:25.329 --> 00:24:27.509
time, that made a very cohesive team. We felt
00:24:27.509 --> 00:24:30.089
like a family. And that type of team works way
00:24:30.089 --> 00:24:35.160
better together. Yeah, go ahead. You're explaining
00:24:35.160 --> 00:24:38.819
what the culture of a company is. And the culture
00:24:38.819 --> 00:24:41.940
works from the top down. It doesn't work if the
00:24:41.940 --> 00:24:44.660
people on the bottom just say, OK, we want to
00:24:44.660 --> 00:24:48.460
be this way. But the C -suite executives didn't
00:24:48.460 --> 00:24:52.099
want it. Right. So you have to get that from
00:24:52.099 --> 00:24:54.700
the top, from the owner, from the president,
00:24:54.799 --> 00:24:59.890
the CEO on down. And when I coach. the executives,
00:25:00.130 --> 00:25:03.490
because when I do the workshops and I teach all
00:25:03.490 --> 00:25:07.470
the workshop, the members of the employees, 30,
00:25:07.690 --> 00:25:10.609
40, 50 employees from back office to warehouse
00:25:10.609 --> 00:25:13.289
to whatever, I can change the way that they think.
00:25:13.569 --> 00:25:16.990
But if I don't change the upper management, then
00:25:16.990 --> 00:25:19.529
nothing I do is going to work because it comes
00:25:19.529 --> 00:25:24.029
from the top down. And what you created was the
00:25:24.029 --> 00:25:27.029
perfect company for the mindset of the worker.
00:25:27.799 --> 00:25:31.500
because they felt they could just go in and talk
00:25:31.500 --> 00:25:35.019
to you at any time. So that was the type of culture
00:25:35.019 --> 00:25:38.720
that you created, which should be a feather in
00:25:38.720 --> 00:25:43.859
your cap. Thank you. So you connect personal
00:25:43.859 --> 00:25:47.240
fulfillment with relationships. How do strong
00:25:47.240 --> 00:25:50.299
connections influence both life satisfaction
00:25:50.299 --> 00:25:54.299
and business success? I could quote you 10 different
00:25:54.299 --> 00:25:57.700
studies. that point to human connection, the
00:25:57.700 --> 00:25:59.400
value of human connection. Of course, I'm not
00:25:59.400 --> 00:26:01.559
going to quote them, but I'll quote one of them.
00:26:01.619 --> 00:26:03.440
There's a woman named Julia Holt Lundstedt who
00:26:03.440 --> 00:26:06.440
did a meta study, something like 300 ,000 people,
00:26:06.660 --> 00:26:10.579
analyzing the factors that contribute to human
00:26:10.579 --> 00:26:12.859
longevity. What makes people live really long
00:26:12.859 --> 00:26:16.019
lives and tied in with longevity is health, of
00:26:16.019 --> 00:26:19.759
course. And the usual factors were on there,
00:26:19.779 --> 00:26:21.819
not smoking, stuff like that, exercise, whatever.
00:26:22.359 --> 00:26:25.420
The number one and number two. contributors to
00:26:25.420 --> 00:26:27.039
human longevity were both related to connection
00:26:27.039 --> 00:26:29.940
so number two was the strength and quality of
00:26:29.940 --> 00:26:32.460
your intimate connections your partner your kids
00:26:32.460 --> 00:26:34.299
your parents that you know that kind of thing
00:26:34.299 --> 00:26:37.000
but number one was actually surprisingly is what
00:26:37.000 --> 00:26:39.359
she called your weak ties so the neighborhood
00:26:39.359 --> 00:26:43.309
you live in the the your friends? Do you belong
00:26:43.309 --> 00:26:45.309
to a community group? Do you know your local
00:26:45.309 --> 00:26:48.250
butcher? And all those little micro interactions
00:26:48.250 --> 00:26:50.730
that you have on a daily basis, they contribute
00:26:50.730 --> 00:26:53.470
to this sense of well -being, which then contributes
00:26:53.470 --> 00:26:56.930
to better overall health. And it just feels good,
00:26:56.990 --> 00:27:00.170
right? Chronic loneliness is, and the other part
00:27:00.170 --> 00:27:03.289
of this world of research into it is that chronic
00:27:03.289 --> 00:27:05.970
loneliness has been equated with having the same
00:27:05.970 --> 00:27:09.109
effect as smoking a pack or two of cigarettes
00:27:09.109 --> 00:27:11.750
every single day. So you would actually, and
00:27:11.750 --> 00:27:13.869
what this one study found is that you would actually,
00:27:13.930 --> 00:27:16.190
your health outcomes would be better if you had
00:27:16.190 --> 00:27:19.690
a life rich with connection and you smoked a
00:27:19.690 --> 00:27:22.690
pack a day than if you were a lonely non -smoker.
00:27:22.890 --> 00:27:26.069
And so this is critical to our health, to our
00:27:26.069 --> 00:27:29.049
personal sense of fulfillment, but also on a
00:27:29.049 --> 00:27:31.910
professional level. I already talked about just
00:27:31.910 --> 00:27:35.369
the value of human relationships and how important
00:27:35.369 --> 00:27:38.519
that can be. When people feel good in your presence
00:27:38.519 --> 00:27:40.160
and they feel connected to you, they want to
00:27:40.160 --> 00:27:42.059
do business with you. They want to talk about
00:27:42.059 --> 00:27:44.759
you to other people. You could certainly run
00:27:44.759 --> 00:27:47.140
a business where you do nothing but stare at
00:27:47.140 --> 00:27:48.759
your laptop all day and you don't talk to other
00:27:48.759 --> 00:27:51.940
people. And lots of people do. Ultimately, not
00:27:51.940 --> 00:27:55.240
a very fulfilling business in my eyes. What makes
00:27:55.240 --> 00:27:57.660
life fulfilling is spending it with other people.
00:27:58.500 --> 00:28:02.559
I couldn't agree with you more. In my talks,
00:28:02.579 --> 00:28:05.839
I talk about extroverts and introverts. And I
00:28:05.839 --> 00:28:08.859
always get a thousand questions from the introverts
00:28:08.859 --> 00:28:11.839
on, how do I do this? And how do I do that? When
00:28:11.839 --> 00:28:14.039
I go to an event, what do I do? And things like
00:28:14.039 --> 00:28:18.299
that. And I say, you know what? Just go. Just
00:28:18.299 --> 00:28:23.200
go. Just be with other people. Humans just naturally
00:28:23.200 --> 00:28:26.019
want to be with other people. We're not built
00:28:26.019 --> 00:28:29.279
to be behind a computer, right? That's the whole
00:28:29.279 --> 00:28:34.160
thing. What daily habits help someone stay grounded
00:28:34.160 --> 00:28:37.859
and present so they can connect more deeply with
00:28:37.859 --> 00:28:42.380
others? Yeah, for me, I have a few daily practices
00:28:42.380 --> 00:28:46.019
that just really help me connect to myself and
00:28:46.019 --> 00:28:48.039
stay anchored and grounded. I have a daily breathwork
00:28:48.039 --> 00:28:52.039
practice, meditation. Journaling really helps
00:28:52.039 --> 00:28:55.019
me. And I go in waves with my journaling. I'll
00:28:55.019 --> 00:28:56.960
have these phases where journaling two or three
00:28:56.960 --> 00:28:58.920
pages every day, and then I'll go a month without
00:28:58.920 --> 00:29:01.940
doing it. But it's just, it's such a good practice
00:29:01.940 --> 00:29:04.700
for just getting to know myself better because
00:29:04.700 --> 00:29:07.420
it's all this stuff that's. happening behind
00:29:07.420 --> 00:29:10.039
the scenes, below the waters. When I start journaling,
00:29:10.059 --> 00:29:11.960
it comes out onto the page. And sometimes I'm
00:29:11.960 --> 00:29:13.680
just writing and I surprise myself like, oh,
00:29:13.700 --> 00:29:15.380
where did that come from? That's interesting.
00:29:15.740 --> 00:29:18.279
And it's, I'm having a dialogue with my subconscious,
00:29:18.539 --> 00:29:20.799
these deeper parts of me that want expression.
00:29:21.220 --> 00:29:25.079
And the more I get to know myself, the more peaceful
00:29:25.079 --> 00:29:27.920
I feel, the more grounded I feel. And then I
00:29:27.920 --> 00:29:30.390
can bring that to my relationships rather than
00:29:30.390 --> 00:29:34.809
being totally untethered or anxious or not having
00:29:34.809 --> 00:29:37.970
any idea who I am or whatever. The more clarity
00:29:37.970 --> 00:29:40.250
and depth and grounding I can bring to myself,
00:29:40.509 --> 00:29:43.410
the better the quality of my relationships. And
00:29:43.410 --> 00:29:48.109
that feels good. Good. Okay. So let's bring this
00:29:48.109 --> 00:29:52.410
podcast full circle. If a listener wants to experience
00:29:52.410 --> 00:29:55.910
stronger, more genuine connections in the next
00:29:55.910 --> 00:30:00.579
90 days, What one internal shift should they
00:30:00.579 --> 00:30:03.960
make for the biggest difference? Yeah, it's a
00:30:03.960 --> 00:30:10.200
good question. I'm going to speak from my own
00:30:10.200 --> 00:30:13.980
personal experience, which is that growing up,
00:30:13.980 --> 00:30:18.000
I felt a really profound sense of alienation
00:30:18.000 --> 00:30:21.240
and not belonging. And there weren't that many
00:30:21.240 --> 00:30:24.980
places where I felt like I belonged. And that...
00:30:25.579 --> 00:30:28.619
you know, those wounds carried through into adulthood.
00:30:29.759 --> 00:30:34.480
And it wasn't like I didn't have friends or I
00:30:34.480 --> 00:30:35.900
didn't have other people around me, but I never
00:30:35.900 --> 00:30:38.700
quite felt comfortable or I felt like I belonged.
00:30:38.920 --> 00:30:41.359
And that really compromised the quality of the
00:30:41.359 --> 00:30:44.400
relationships I had with other people. And as
00:30:44.400 --> 00:30:46.400
I've gotten to know myself better and as I've
00:30:46.400 --> 00:30:49.549
done more inner work. I'm able to work through
00:30:49.549 --> 00:30:51.609
a lot of those old patterns and old stories.
00:30:51.990 --> 00:30:54.990
Because if I leave those unchecked, there's this
00:30:54.990 --> 00:30:57.650
kind of operating system operating in the background
00:30:57.650 --> 00:31:00.529
that says other people are scary or other people
00:31:00.529 --> 00:31:03.630
are dangerous or don't go too deep because you're
00:31:03.630 --> 00:31:05.190
going to get hurt or whatever that story may
00:31:05.190 --> 00:31:08.410
be. If I'm not aware of that pattern and making
00:31:08.410 --> 00:31:12.490
different choices, then I can get in this pattern
00:31:12.490 --> 00:31:16.200
of just retreating. and not engaging, not being
00:31:16.200 --> 00:31:18.740
willing to go deeper. But the more I'm able to
00:31:18.740 --> 00:31:20.799
be aware of that and work with it and stay conscious,
00:31:21.039 --> 00:31:23.180
the more I can say, oh, and I can just bring
00:31:23.180 --> 00:31:24.900
some loving awareness to it and say, oh, there
00:31:24.900 --> 00:31:26.839
it is again. There's that old protection system.
00:31:27.099 --> 00:31:29.380
It's okay, I got this. I can breathe into it
00:31:29.380 --> 00:31:32.220
and just be like, okay. And then I can drop in
00:31:32.220 --> 00:31:33.779
with somebody else and we can have a wonderful
00:31:33.779 --> 00:31:35.819
conversation. I can be open, I can be vulnerable
00:31:35.819 --> 00:31:38.880
without feeling overwhelmed. So I think one of
00:31:38.880 --> 00:31:41.750
the biggest things you can do is just... be spend
00:31:41.750 --> 00:31:44.589
more time getting know yourself do the work understand
00:31:44.589 --> 00:31:46.710
we all have these patterns that we've inherited
00:31:46.710 --> 00:31:49.450
from childhood that that follow us into adulthood
00:31:49.450 --> 00:31:52.230
and they compromise our ability our relationships
00:31:52.230 --> 00:31:54.470
or our work or whatever the more we can do that
00:31:54.470 --> 00:31:56.829
work whether it's working with a therapist whether
00:31:56.829 --> 00:31:58.990
it's journaling whatever it is spending time
00:31:58.990 --> 00:32:01.509
in the wilderness the better the quality of your
00:32:01.509 --> 00:32:03.829
relationships and the connections you will have
00:32:03.829 --> 00:32:08.039
in your life Fantastic. Fantastic. It sounds
00:32:08.039 --> 00:32:10.680
like age had a little bit to do with that. You
00:32:10.680 --> 00:32:13.220
got a little smarter as you got older, but that's
00:32:13.220 --> 00:32:16.500
good. Hopefully. Yeah. Hopefully it all worked
00:32:16.500 --> 00:32:20.099
out. Mike, this was absolutely great. I learned
00:32:20.099 --> 00:32:23.740
so much. If somebody wanted to get hold of you,
00:32:23.799 --> 00:32:26.460
either to be coached by you, to pick up your
00:32:26.460 --> 00:32:30.000
services, or just to say hello, what's the best
00:32:30.000 --> 00:32:33.099
way that they can get hold of you? Yeah, they
00:32:33.099 --> 00:32:36.539
can go to way -finders .com. And that's my company,
00:32:36.619 --> 00:32:39.380
Wayfinders. And we host these incredible journeys
00:32:39.380 --> 00:32:41.640
around the world where people come together,
00:32:41.700 --> 00:32:43.980
really connect deeply and explore these wonderful
00:32:43.980 --> 00:32:47.079
themes while having a ton of fun and exploring
00:32:47.079 --> 00:32:49.400
some very cool areas. So you can find me there.
00:32:50.380 --> 00:32:53.539
That's great. This conversation is a reminder
00:32:53.539 --> 00:32:56.700
that networking isn't just about expanding your
00:32:56.700 --> 00:32:59.519
circle. It's about deepening your connections.
00:32:59.880 --> 00:33:03.559
When you show up aligned, present and genuine,
00:33:03.700 --> 00:33:07.220
people feel it. And those are relationships that
00:33:07.220 --> 00:33:10.559
lead to trust, collaboration, and real opportunity.
00:33:11.000 --> 00:33:14.799
Take one step this week, slow down in your next
00:33:14.799 --> 00:33:18.500
conversation, listen a little more, ask one more
00:33:18.500 --> 00:33:22.019
deeper question, and be fully present. You may
00:33:22.019 --> 00:33:25.299
find that one meaningful connection is more valuable
00:33:25.299 --> 00:33:29.180
than 10 quick ones. If you found value in today's
00:33:29.180 --> 00:33:31.700
episode, make sure you like, follow, and subscribe
00:33:31.700 --> 00:33:34.180
to Networking Unleashed, building profitable
00:33:34.180 --> 00:33:37.319
connections so you keep getting the best insights
00:33:37.319 --> 00:33:40.859
on networking and communication. And share this
00:33:40.859 --> 00:33:43.400
episode with someone who's ready to build more
00:33:43.400 --> 00:33:46.759
meaningful relationships in both life and business.
00:33:47.059 --> 00:33:50.500
If you'd like, if you'd help. strengthen your
00:33:50.500 --> 00:33:53.039
communication and building communications that
00:33:53.039 --> 00:33:56.299
truly matter. Visit Norman to learn how I work
00:33:56.299 --> 00:33:58.240
with professionals, teams, and organizations.
00:33:58.700 --> 00:34:02.740
So until next time, be present, be genuine, and
00:34:02.740 --> 00:34:05.099
build connections that actually mean something.
00:34:05.619 --> 00:34:07.980
Mike, thank you again for coming on the podcast.
00:34:08.320 --> 00:34:11.000
This was wonderful. Thank you, Michael. It's
00:34:11.000 --> 00:34:16.820
been a pleasure. Well, hold on, folks. Don't
00:34:16.820 --> 00:34:20.260
go anywhere. Let's hear from our sponsors. David
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They provide prevention training programs for
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to revvedupkids .org. Henry Kaplan, Century 21.
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When it comes to making the biggest financial
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of a proven professional, Henry Kaplan. Henry
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is a global real estate agent with Century 21,
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celebrating his 41st year in business. No matter
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where you're moving, Henry has the right connections
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for you. You can contact Henry at 561 -427 -4888.
00:35:08.650 --> 00:35:11.630
A huge thank you to our guests for sharing such...
00:35:12.030 --> 00:35:15.329
insights today. And of course, a big shout out
00:35:15.329 --> 00:35:18.650
to you, our amazing listeners, for tuning in
00:35:18.650 --> 00:35:21.570
and spending your time with us. If you're interested
00:35:21.570 --> 00:35:24.909
in my digital courses, being coached or having
00:35:24.909 --> 00:35:28.030
me come and talk to your company, just go to
00:35:28.030 --> 00:35:31.269
Michael and fill out the request form. Remember,
00:35:31.590 --> 00:35:34.909
networking isn't about being perfect. It's about
00:35:34.909 --> 00:35:37.829
being present. So take what you've learned today,
00:35:38.010 --> 00:35:40.630
get out there and make some meaningful connections.
00:35:41.360 --> 00:35:44.280
If you've enjoyed this episode, please don't
00:35:44.280 --> 00:35:47.619
forget to subscribe. Leave us a review and share
00:35:47.619 --> 00:35:49.820
it with someone who could use a little networking
00:35:49.820 --> 00:35:52.820
inspiration. Let's keep the conversation going.
00:35:53.000 --> 00:35:57.559
You can find me on Apple, Spotify, Pandora, YouTube,
00:35:57.699 --> 00:36:02.340
or my website, foreman .com slash podcasts.