Chaos, Clocks & Consequences

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Welcome to Mum's Gone Wild, the show where Reddit meets real talk and chaos meets comedy.
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I'm Chloe.
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I'm Paula.
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And every week we'll dive into Reddit's wildest post and juicious writings.
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Warning, the advice you're about to hear is completely unsolicited, mildly unhinged, and definitely not professional.
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But hey, we're not therapists, and that's never stopped us from giving our opinions anyway.
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So let's get our hands back.
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I thought we would start off with sorry, just got my seven-month-old here with us.
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Yes.
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So wild.
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So wild.
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So I thought I'd start off today by asking Mum, why did we start a podcast?
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Well, Chloe, why not?
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We ring each other every day.
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We're on the phone at least 12 to 13 times a day talking about life and all its antics.
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We listen to podcasts, we share podcasts.
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So we thought, why not do our own podcast?
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Yeah, I couldn't have said it better myself.
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We uh yeah, we live and breathe podcasts.
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So we thought we'd give it a well, give it a try and see how it goes.
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You'll never know if you don't try.
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That's right.
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All right, so let's get into the stories.
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Okay, Chloe.
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Do you want me to go first or do you want to go first today?
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I've got two.
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I can tell you what they are.
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We can listen to yours and we can make a decision.
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Yeah, okay.
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You tell me the title of yours.
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Okay, and then I'll tell you something.
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I've got two titles.
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Okay, two.
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All right, two titles.
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Is this comes from the Reddit account Am I the Arsehole?
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Am I the Arsehole for refusing to pick up my four-year-old from my ex.
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Oh, good one.
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Or am I the asshole for planning my pregnancy behind my boyfriend's back?
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Oh.
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They're both really good.
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They're so juicy.
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Let's go with.
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Well, do you want me to read you mine as well?
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You read yours.
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All right, so I've chosen two stories as well.
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So am I the asshole for pointing out my girlfriend's bad hygiene?
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Oh saucy.
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Or yeah, and am I the asshole for dating my ex's wife's late brother?
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Wife.
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Let me process that one.
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This is where the generation thing comes into it.
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All right, we've got Indy's not really happy with that one.
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So let's say it again.
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Okay, so am I the asshole for dating my ex's wife's late brother's wife?
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Oh.
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I reckon we go.
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Let's do that one.
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That one sounds spicy.
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Do you want to read that one first or shall we start with yours?
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Oh, up to you.
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We can do mine.
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Yeah, okay.
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Or maybe we can do one for one.
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Okay, one for one.
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Sounds good.
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All right, someone has to hold our little junior.
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I'll go first while you're holding Junior.
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Okay.
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There.
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Okay.
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So we're going to do which one?
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Girlfriend's bad hygiene?
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Yep, do girlfriend's band.
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Let's start off with a little start off with a let's ease our way into it.
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I don't know if this is easing our way into it just given the title that girlfriend's bad hygiene.
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I haven't read it.
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Okay.
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So this is Am I the Asshole for pointing out my girlfriend's bad hygiene?
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Advice needed.
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I, male 28, have been dating my girlfriend, female 27, for seven months now.
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I went full exclus we went full exclusive three months ago.
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She's everything smart, kind, caring, and drop dead gorgeous to me.
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However, she has the worst hygiene.
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Then Nathane, how do you say that word, Nathan?
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Yeah, it's Nathan.
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It's like a case.
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It's case man.
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Yes, that's the one.
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She lives in a studio apartment, so it's small.
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Since started dating her, I've avoided spending time there because it's always dirty.
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But I've never said anything because it's her place.
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She does not shower often and has strong B.O.
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Like bad enough that I won't have sex with her unless she's recently showered.
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You should see Mum's face.
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That's only because I just learned a new word about unheimed Genius sex the other day.
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Would you like to share?
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Oh, okay, girls.
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Sorry for this.
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But if you don't keep your hoo-ha in check and there's a little bit of toilet paper residue, it could be known as being that you've got a little clitty litter.
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Well, get that one out of your brains.
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Clity litter.
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You know what I mean?
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It's got a nice ring to it.
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It does.
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Anyway, here's where it gets bad.
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She's on her period, and three days ago, she was having a really rough day.
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So I called her and asked her to come stay at my place until she feels better.
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That I can't cook and take care of so that I can.
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There's sorry, it's there's some spelling mistakes in here, so it's a little bit hard to read.
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So that I can take care of her and allow her to rest.
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She was she was take she took the week off from work because it was so bad.
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Poor darling.
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She came to my place and didn't bring any feminine hygiene products.
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Oh dear.
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Yeah.
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I have to run to the store at 3 a.m.
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to get her stuff because she's been wearing the same pad for so long that it's leaked on my bed.
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I didn't say anything as she was so stressed.
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The next day I came home from work and she'd put the pad from the previous night on the bathroom floor without it even wrapped.
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I was pissed and I called her out on it.
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Hey, that's gross.
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I don't want to look at that while I go use the bathroom.
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She got really mad and said that I called her gross.
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I clarified that having a period is not gross, it's a natural thing, but leaving a bloody pad on the floor of someone's home is nasty.
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She lost it and made and said I made her feel gross and bad.
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Was I an asshole for calling her out?
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What do you think?
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Man, oh man, there is a lot to unpack there.
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I don't know.
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I we and I brought you guys up.
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We're like, we probably oh this noise is from our little our little helper today.
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We have more, we probably have shower too much.
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We shower twice a day.
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Yeah.
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And you know, studies do say that's not good for your skin.
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It dries your skin out.
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So when she first can I have the highlighter for her hand, please first started talking about not showering every day.
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I'm like, oh that's okay.
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Like if you're not busy when you've got BO.
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Does I say how old they are?
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Yeah, so at the beginning it says male 28 and girlfriend 27.
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Oh, see, I was thinking if she was in teenage years, you do get a bit of body odor.
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She's old enough.
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I feel like this is actual, yeah, like a real hygiene stuff.
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I'd like to see.
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Especially when you know, period though.
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Like wouldn't you want to shower?
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Like Yeah, that's just all and wearing this, like I don't know, wearing the same pattern.
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You can even tap it out for just rolled up toilet paper if you were desperate.
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Yeah.
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Just not wear the same one.
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Like she's yeah, like she could be getting some nasty yeast infection or anything.
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Yeah, what's that?
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That one that you can get that toxic.
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Oh, um, that comes from tampons having certain for too long.
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Oh my god, what is that called?
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It's toxic shock syndrome.
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Yeah, yeah, no, I I mean they could come into things that she might not be able to afford.
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He said that her studio is really small, it's quite dirty.
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I don't know, maybe she hasn't got the mental health, maybe.
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Yeah, yeah, 100%.
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Mental health could definitely play a card in that.
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So I'm thinking, you know, you can, you know, women's hygiene things are quite expensive.
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They are why they're not on the PBS.
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PBS, if you don't know what PBS is, the public benefit scheme.
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So things like now.
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Oh, we're just doing a little so where where we left off was the PBS.
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So that's where you get pharmaceutical medications and things like that that are cheaper, but generally they prescribe prescribe medications.
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And but like for tampons and sanitary goods, it's disgusting that we have to pay eight, nine dollars if not more.
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And depending on your flow, I mean, sometimes you need more than a box.
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So, you know, sometimes you can be out like twenty-thirty dollars each time you have a cycle, yeah.
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For something that we we we never chose, it's just handed down to us as we are women.
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Yeah, exactly.
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Yeah, so I suppose you know that could all come into it.
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But is he the arsehole for calling her out on it?
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How did like going back?
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How did he say, did he just get angry?
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Because he said he was like really pissy about seeing it.
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He was pissed sanitary pat on the floor.
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Um sorry, just pause for a second.
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I we've got two, we're not in a studio, we're sitting at my kitchen table with a seven-month-old, there's a four-year-old, a dog in the background.
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So when we say we're mums and two generations, so I'm mum, Chloe's my daughter, she's got her daughters, and she's a breastfeeding mum.
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So we're just doing it all, we're making that work.
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So if you hear background noises, that's where it is.
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Coming from, he said that he was.
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I was pissed, and I called her out on it and I said, Hey, that's gross.
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I don't want to look at that while I have to go use the classroom, which is fair.
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I don't 100%.
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So let's rewind.
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I feel like he was frustrated with this behaviour, the fact that she didn't shower, the fact that she does have BO, the fact that sometimes he doesn't want to have sex with her because of her hygiene, which I can understand.
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Like it's even nasty.
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Yeah, they're not, yeah, they're not like inexperienced, they're both in their late 20s.
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Yeah, no, you know, so you're still.
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He could have somehow started to make headway with saying simple things like, or hey, let's have a shower together, let's make it romantic, you know.
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Like started encouraging fun ways of keeping hygiene without without wanting to hurt her feelings, and make the showering experience a really nice, beautiful experience.
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And then, hey, I haven't changed my sheets for a while, let's change my sheets together, and then we can snuggle, everything feels better in clean sheets.
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I feel like maybe he could have tiptoed his way in until getting to the point where it was beyond ridiculous, and he's just called her gross.
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Yeah, um, yeah, I don't think he needed to call her gross.
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No, and like you said, Chloe, you said that you know, if she's tackling some, you know, mental health, self-esteem and or any of those things in life, you know, like kind of maybe tread a little carefully.
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Yeah.
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Before we move on, because we do have an update.
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I just want to say she might not have had maybe a mum around to show her these things or a woman.
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You don't even know the background.
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Yeah, because you know, some you learn.
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Anyway, update.
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Okay, cool.
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Yay.
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Okay, so update almost a month later.
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Okay.
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As many of you have pointed out, there was a lot more to the issue than simply oh, we forgot to do top comments.
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Oh, okay.
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Should we go on to that or shall I read the update first?
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No, top comments.
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Top comments.
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Sorry, top comments.
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Sorry, first time virgin.
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Okay, the top comment has been removed by the moderator.
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It did have 25,000 upvotes, but was removed.
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Unfortunately, I can't see that one.
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But the next one is wiping my ass is natural too, but I don't leave paper on the bathroom floor.
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Feckle.
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Yeah.
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Yeah.
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Even when you're out in the bush, you still bury it.
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Yeah, so like the common, the common thing from what I can see is that he's not the asshole.
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A lot of people are saying, Well, fuck, that's gross.
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You know, someone said, was he like three years old?
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Gross is what he said.
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I think let's give him some credit.
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I've got two sons.
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I just I would hope that they, like we were talking about before, Chloe, maybe tiptoed into it.
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Yeah.
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They made cleanliness a little bit more of a fun.
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Yeah.
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Yeah.
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A fun adventure, more so than a chore.
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Um, lots of comments about people saying why are bathrooms so horrific, which is true.
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Bathrooms are nasty, especially public bathrooms.
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Oh, they are public bathrooms.
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But this is her bathroom, isn't it?
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His bathroom.
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He she's staying at his house because she's having a rough week with her period.
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Yeah.
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He went out at 3 a.m.
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to buy her some sanitary pads.
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Yeah.
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And then in the morning, she'd left her like used soaked one on the floor.
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On the floor.
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Girl, find a bin.
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Yeah.
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Wrap it up in toilet paper, find a bin.
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Yeah, not that hard.
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No.
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Anyway, update, sorry.
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As many of you had pointed out, there was a lot more to the issue than simply being a slob.
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She's now getting professional help for her mental health issues and the trauma from early childhood.
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She's been through enough to break any person.
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I'm grateful for those who suggested that her mental health be checked.
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And I'm also grateful I didn't run from her like many were suggesting.
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A lot has improved, hygiene-wise.
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She was doing an amaz she's doing amazing.
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She of course needs some reminders and encouragement, but she gets things done.
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And relationship-wise, we're both happier.
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Oh yay, what a good story.
00:14:40.879 --> 00:14:48.159
Yeah, I didn't actually read the updates, I read the story, but I left updates so I could be genuinely surprised or horrified.
00:14:48.159 --> 00:14:49.919
But that's a nice outcome.
00:14:50.480 --> 00:14:51.519
I do like that one.
00:14:51.519 --> 00:14:52.480
Yay for us.
00:14:52.480 --> 00:14:54.080
That was a nice first one.
00:14:54.080 --> 00:14:56.000
But there's a new update.
00:14:56.000 --> 00:14:58.879
Oh stop it.
00:14:58.879 --> 00:15:02.080
Oh, I thought we were going out on a winner.
00:15:02.080 --> 00:15:03.200
New updates.
00:15:03.200 --> 00:15:04.080
Oh man.
00:15:04.480 --> 00:15:05.440
We broke up.
00:15:05.759 --> 00:15:06.639
Oh, stop.
00:15:07.840 --> 00:15:08.879
It's over.
00:15:08.879 --> 00:15:17.360
She had a major meltdown a day ago and accused me of forcing her to get help for things she doesn't want help for and accused me of controlling her.
00:15:17.360 --> 00:15:18.080
Too much.
00:15:18.080 --> 00:15:21.840
She gave me an ultimatum, and I don't do ultimatums.
00:15:21.840 --> 00:15:24.320
Instead of calmly explaining her point.
00:15:24.320 --> 00:15:29.039
So I told her goodbye and good luck, and she left and told me to go fuck myself.
00:15:29.279 --> 00:15:31.440
Oh, honey, that's a bit sad.
00:15:31.440 --> 00:15:34.480
He tried.
00:15:34.480 --> 00:15:34.879
Yeah.
00:15:34.879 --> 00:15:36.320
He's not the arsehole.
00:15:36.320 --> 00:15:40.799
If we're going to say not the arsehole, he really tried to.
00:15:40.799 --> 00:15:42.240
Yeah, he did try.
00:15:42.240 --> 00:15:46.639
And sometimes you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink.
00:15:46.639 --> 00:15:47.440
100%.
00:15:47.440 --> 00:15:59.120
And if she's she obviously enjoyed a little bit of the help that she was getting by the first update, but maybe just too much.
00:15:59.120 --> 00:16:06.720
And then she's obviously maybe started to question who she was, and he's just changing too much and changing her too much and what have you.
00:16:06.720 --> 00:16:25.840
But you know, for whatever reason, they crossed each other's paths, and hopefully he's helped her in a way that she might look at you know, looking into her hygiene a bit better, and he might understand that you know sometimes people come with mental health and talk about those things as well.
00:16:26.080 --> 00:16:26.399
Yeah.
00:16:26.399 --> 00:16:27.440
Oh, okay.
00:16:27.440 --> 00:16:28.159
I know.
00:16:28.159 --> 00:16:29.600
That was a roller coaster.
00:16:29.600 --> 00:16:30.480
It was.
00:16:30.480 --> 00:16:32.639
That was a rollercoaster.
00:16:32.960 --> 00:16:33.600
It was an R.
00:16:33.600 --> 00:16:34.799
I like that one.
00:16:34.799 --> 00:16:36.879
Shall we listen to one of your stories now?
00:16:36.879 --> 00:16:37.440
Sure.
00:16:37.440 --> 00:16:38.000
Okay.
00:16:38.000 --> 00:16:40.240
Which one did we decide on?
00:16:40.240 --> 00:16:48.720
Am I the arsehole for refusing to pick up my four-year-old from my ex, or am I the arsehole for planning my pregnancy behind my boyfriend's back?
00:16:48.720 --> 00:16:52.879
I think that one that sounds juicy because how do you plan it?
00:16:52.879 --> 00:16:54.720
Like, you know, like an accident?
00:16:54.720 --> 00:16:57.279
You can like just go off the pill or something and just think about it.
00:16:57.279 --> 00:17:00.159
Yeah, but like to intentionally plan and trap someone is.
00:17:00.159 --> 00:17:01.919
Okay, let's see.
00:17:01.919 --> 00:17:03.600
This is a long one.
00:17:03.600 --> 00:17:06.160
Very, very long people.
00:17:06.160 --> 00:17:07.519
Buckle up.
00:17:07.519 --> 00:17:11.359
I should have brought two drinks over, Chloe, not just one.
00:17:11.359 --> 00:17:18.880
Okay, me 35 and my boyfriend 36 have been together for about four years.
00:17:18.880 --> 00:17:21.680
Life has been good, not perfect.
00:17:21.680 --> 00:17:26.319
But I but I knew a thought need.
00:17:26.319 --> 00:17:31.920
I don't know what this one's trying to say here.
00:17:31.920 --> 00:17:33.519
Yeah, have a look, Chloe.
00:17:33.519 --> 00:17:35.920
But I knew a thought need.
00:17:37.440 --> 00:17:44.000
But I I need I thought maybe I thought I needed to write write my problems to Reddit.
00:17:44.160 --> 00:17:44.400
Okay.
00:17:44.400 --> 00:17:44.880
Okay.
00:17:44.880 --> 00:17:48.480
We're gonna forgive this person for their weird little writing.
00:17:48.480 --> 00:17:48.960
Okay.
00:17:48.960 --> 00:17:55.920
Oh, as you just know, both Chloe and I work at the education department, so we're all over this whole spelling mistake thing.
00:17:55.920 --> 00:17:57.759
Okay, but here we are.
00:17:57.759 --> 00:18:00.160
English is not my first language.
00:18:00.160 --> 00:18:01.920
This is a scrap account.
00:18:01.920 --> 00:18:02.480
Okay.
00:18:02.480 --> 00:18:05.359
Faith in you is restored.
00:18:05.359 --> 00:18:05.920
Love.
00:18:05.920 --> 00:18:06.400
All right.
00:18:06.400 --> 00:18:11.680
In the beginning, I have been clear about everything and that I want children from day one.
00:18:11.680 --> 00:18:14.559
That's a nice opening line for your new boyfriend, isn't it?
00:18:14.559 --> 00:18:14.880
Yeah.
00:18:14.880 --> 00:18:16.000
Hey, I'm Paula.
00:18:16.000 --> 00:18:16.960
I want kids.
00:18:16.960 --> 00:18:17.359
Yeah.
00:18:17.359 --> 00:18:18.880
Okay, getting back to the story.
00:18:18.880 --> 00:18:24.559
I even asked him if he wanted children, and I remember he nodded and said, yes, good to go.
00:18:24.559 --> 00:18:31.359
We brought a house for we brought a house for some three years ago, and I've been trying to do my best to pull my weight.
00:18:31.359 --> 00:18:39.599
I do have ADHD, so doing things that same sis I I'm not used to is a massive struggle.
00:18:39.599 --> 00:18:44.720
Also, I have a new job that's treated me like scrap metal for the last three years.
00:18:44.720 --> 00:18:46.960
That's another story for another time.
00:18:46.960 --> 00:18:52.240
Now I have a new job where I feel comfortable, and we are just renovating our leaking roof.
00:18:52.240 --> 00:18:57.759
So told boyfriend to bang me pregnant now.
00:18:57.759 --> 00:18:59.599
Okay.
00:18:59.599 --> 00:19:00.960
So romantic.
00:19:00.960 --> 00:19:04.079
And he's like, I'm not sure I want children.
00:19:04.079 --> 00:19:06.640
My soul left my body.
00:19:06.640 --> 00:19:09.680
We talked some more, and I asked him what he means.
00:19:09.680 --> 00:19:13.119
I asked him if my communication has been lacking.
00:19:13.119 --> 00:19:15.119
You know I want children, right?
00:19:15.119 --> 00:19:16.000
Yeah, yeah.
00:19:16.000 --> 00:19:19.119
But he doesn't want to bring children into the house that isn't complete.
00:19:19.119 --> 00:19:23.920
And he wants to find another job so that he can be a good dad and be more present.
00:19:23.920 --> 00:19:27.839
He wants to find a new job before I even get pregnant.
00:19:27.839 --> 00:19:38.319
The house is standing, it's warm during winter, it's cool during summer, and we all have water and we've got a roof, and that's it isn't leaking, it's not falling apart.
00:19:38.319 --> 00:19:40.799
Anyway, I'm 35 years.
00:19:40.799 --> 00:19:42.160
I want kids now.
00:19:42.160 --> 00:19:44.079
I wanted kids several years ago.
00:19:44.079 --> 00:19:46.319
I wanted kids before turning 30.
00:19:46.319 --> 00:19:52.079
I asked my boyfriend if he really has been standing there for four years, not thinking about our future.
00:19:52.079 --> 00:19:53.839
So this is all caps.
00:19:53.839 --> 00:19:56.480
So I gave him the ultimatum.
00:19:56.480 --> 00:19:57.359
Ultimatum?
00:19:57.359 --> 00:19:59.279
He has six months.
00:19:59.279 --> 00:20:01.200
I'm getting an incoming call.
00:20:01.200 --> 00:20:02.319
Oh, I'll pause.
00:20:02.319 --> 00:20:04.799
I gave him the ultimatum.
00:20:04.799 --> 00:20:09.759
He has six months to decide if he wants children, and he has to be honest.
00:20:09.759 --> 00:20:15.599
I was clear what I want with children, with or without him, and my goal is to be pregnant in 2026.
00:20:15.599 --> 00:20:16.480
Oh, cool.
00:20:16.480 --> 00:20:17.519
So this isn't very old.
00:20:17.519 --> 00:20:19.839
I didn't even check to see that, whether it was very old or not.
00:20:19.839 --> 00:20:21.119
No excuses.
00:20:21.119 --> 00:20:26.960
I even told him that I that I can throw this relationship to the wall for children.
00:20:26.960 --> 00:20:30.799
I can leave him the way I left my dad and my previous relationship.
00:20:30.799 --> 00:20:31.839
Oh Jesus.
00:20:31.839 --> 00:20:32.559
Bam.
00:20:32.559 --> 00:20:37.279
I don't want to be 40 and pregnant, and I'm not going to be 80 and alone.
00:20:37.279 --> 00:20:38.480
I want a family.
00:20:38.480 --> 00:20:40.400
He was calm and understanding.
00:20:40.400 --> 00:20:44.720
We weren't yelling, we're just having a deep conversation, but I was quite stressed.
00:20:44.720 --> 00:20:49.119
So for the past few weeks, I've been asking him about the ultimatum.
00:20:49.119 --> 00:20:52.000
And I haven't really been thinking about it yet.
00:20:52.000 --> 00:20:55.279
Oh, I think that's what he said.
00:20:55.279 --> 00:20:57.279
This is just all weirdly written.
00:20:57.279 --> 00:20:59.519
He hasn't really been thinking about it yet.
00:20:59.519 --> 00:21:08.079
And I've asked him if we should start to save up for a child, and he said, nah, it's better if we put that money on the house so that we can complete it.
00:21:08.079 --> 00:21:12.559
I was honest and I told him that it feels like he doesn't even want children.
00:21:12.559 --> 00:21:14.640
And he said he just needs time.
00:21:14.640 --> 00:21:16.240
He promises to be honest.
00:21:16.240 --> 00:21:18.000
She gave him six months, didn't she?
00:21:18.000 --> 00:21:18.640
She did.
00:21:18.640 --> 00:21:19.119
Yeah.
00:21:19.119 --> 00:21:20.319
She gave him six months.
00:21:20.319 --> 00:21:22.160
Just put a pin in that.
00:21:22.160 --> 00:21:27.279
I also promise that I to not stop my contraception.
00:21:27.279 --> 00:21:29.279
Ding ding ding ding ding.
00:21:29.279 --> 00:21:31.759
So I don't take this situation for granted.
00:21:31.759 --> 00:21:35.279
I have this looming feeling in my stomach that this ain't gonna work.
00:21:35.279 --> 00:21:41.519
How can someone go for four years and shrug his shoulders and not even think about children?
00:21:41.519 --> 00:21:48.079
While I'm stressing here and having deep feelings about my future children, I've been mentioning children from time to time.
00:21:48.079 --> 00:21:49.920
So I haven't been quiet about it.
00:21:49.920 --> 00:21:56.799
I know my trauma and ADHD makes my communication bad, but dot dot dot dot.
00:21:56.799 --> 00:22:00.000
I think I was quite clear when I said I wanted children.
00:22:00.000 --> 00:22:05.039
He said he knows that I want children and said I've been clear about that.
00:22:05.039 --> 00:22:07.519
I just want to scream.
00:22:07.519 --> 00:22:13.279
So am I the butthole?
00:22:13.279 --> 00:22:16.640
I started to say for children.
00:22:16.640 --> 00:22:20.240
I have a job that pays for what I'm worth and I feel safe at work.
00:22:20.240 --> 00:22:26.319
I've been looking into IBF clinics and even called a few just to hear what they say and how it works.
00:22:26.319 --> 00:22:30.160
The cost of how to pick out a sperm donation, etc.
00:22:30.160 --> 00:22:36.480
I've talked to some friends and my brother about my situation, and they are all supportive if I become a single mum.
00:22:36.480 --> 00:22:41.839
I counted my money and my economy, and I can economically handle single mum life.
00:22:41.839 --> 00:22:47.279
I have a name, I have a list of names I like, and I have a list of things to buy for baby's first year.
00:22:47.279 --> 00:22:56.559
Right now I'm actually considering to use these six months to just save the money and build on the house so that it can be sold for as much money possible.
00:22:56.559 --> 00:23:04.480
I'm not sure how honest I dare to be, but dot dot dot, I think I've lost my attraction to my BF.
00:23:04.480 --> 00:23:12.480
36-year-old man who shrugs his shoulders and doesn't know or care about my stress and my want for children.
00:23:12.480 --> 00:23:14.480
I feel like he takes me for granted.
00:23:14.480 --> 00:23:18.720
This man probably has no idea that I'm planning my pregnancy and saving money.
00:23:18.720 --> 00:23:24.480
But the other day he talked to me about how to build a TV sound room.
00:23:24.480 --> 00:23:25.920
So I stared at him.
00:23:25.920 --> 00:23:28.400
I want to build a room for a baby.
00:23:28.400 --> 00:23:33.279
I feel bad planning my pregnancy behind his back, and I'm not even sure I want him anymore.
00:23:33.279 --> 00:23:38.319
I want to continue to plant seeds into his brain and remind him about children.
00:23:38.319 --> 00:23:40.319
I'd rather not be a single mum.
00:23:40.319 --> 00:23:42.799
Or should I just plan my life behind his back?
00:23:42.799 --> 00:23:46.079
I could be a mum within seven months if I do this alone.
00:23:46.079 --> 00:23:49.039
That thought of alone makes me super happy.
00:23:49.039 --> 00:23:50.240
So what was that?
00:23:50.240 --> 00:23:53.359
I could be a mum within seven months if I do this alone.
00:23:53.359 --> 00:23:56.400
That thought alone makes me super happy.
00:23:56.400 --> 00:24:01.599
But I do feel like a butthole for planning my pregnancy behind his back.
00:24:01.599 --> 00:24:04.160
Man, that was a read.
00:24:04.400 --> 00:24:17.839
It was, and a lot, because you know, I'm glad she's not trying to trap him because when we said the contraception thing, I was thinking it was going to take another turn, but she's thinking, No, I'll, you know, I'll can do it myself.
00:24:19.119 --> 00:24:22.240
I almost feel like she's answered her own questions in here.
00:24:22.240 --> 00:24:25.200
She said that she's losing attraction for her boyfriend.
00:24:25.200 --> 00:24:25.920
Yeah.
00:24:26.640 --> 00:24:39.680
And she's just hanging around for what to get the house to make value so that when they separate, I don't know where they are, but in here in Australia with de facto, you're together for like, is it six months?
00:24:39.680 --> 00:24:42.400
Yes, it's the same rights as marriage.
00:24:42.400 --> 00:24:44.000
Marriage, you're right, correct.
00:24:44.000 --> 00:24:45.519
So you know, is she doing that?
00:24:45.519 --> 00:24:48.240
So if they sell the house, it's worth more, she's got more money.
00:24:48.240 --> 00:24:51.359
Yeah, yeah, I don't know.
00:24:51.359 --> 00:24:53.039
That's it's a lot.
00:24:53.039 --> 00:24:59.279
I mean, like, I can understand the wanting a baby unless the clock is ticking, yeah.
00:25:00.319 --> 00:25:02.319
She'll be stalking people with prams and stuff like that.
00:25:02.559 --> 00:25:03.119
Oh, 100%.
00:25:03.119 --> 00:25:14.880
And you know, if you know I've known I know of people that have done it themselves, and you know, that they couldn't find someone to have a baby with, so they've done it themselves.
00:25:15.519 --> 00:25:16.480
Yeah, no, 100%.
00:25:16.480 --> 00:25:18.079
And kudos to those women.
00:25:18.079 --> 00:25:20.559
Like I think that's amazing.
00:25:20.559 --> 00:25:25.200
But like I I I actually feel like she's checked out.
00:25:25.200 --> 00:25:28.000
Yeah, she's yeah, she's got a new focus in life.
00:25:28.000 --> 00:25:29.920
It's not the house, it's not her partner.
00:25:29.920 --> 00:25:35.119
Because she gave her boyfriend six months, and I think she's been on it him.
00:25:35.599 --> 00:25:37.519
But I mean, four years is enough time, really.
00:25:37.519 --> 00:25:39.599
Like and he said that he did want kids.
00:25:39.599 --> 00:25:41.759
Yeah, and he now he's changed his mind.
00:25:41.759 --> 00:25:44.640
I mean, I don't know, I don't really like ultimatums, really.
00:25:44.640 --> 00:25:46.240
I mean, you can have boundaries.
00:25:46.240 --> 00:25:50.240
Boundaries are a thing, but ultimatums, yeah.
00:25:50.240 --> 00:26:00.000
I mean, yeah, some people see boundaries as an ultimatum, but I think if it's worded in a way that is an ultimatum-y, and he needs to be honest too.
00:26:00.079 --> 00:26:05.519
Like, if he doesn't want to have children, then just be honest, just say it, stop wasting her time.
00:26:05.519 --> 00:26:06.160
Yeah, exactly.
00:26:06.160 --> 00:26:07.440
She's not gonna let it go.
00:26:07.440 --> 00:26:11.440
That biological clock, once it's starts ticking, it's like a dog with a bone.
00:26:11.599 --> 00:26:13.359
Yeah, and it's like yeah, it's not gonna give up.
00:26:13.359 --> 00:26:15.119
Yeah, it consumes your mind.
00:26:15.119 --> 00:26:17.200
If you want a baby, that it consumes your mind.
00:26:17.200 --> 00:26:18.880
And was she 35 now?
00:26:18.880 --> 00:26:20.960
I think it's a 36 or 35.
00:26:21.359 --> 00:26:23.279
She's already a geriatric pregnancy.
00:26:23.279 --> 00:26:23.759
Yeah.
00:26:23.759 --> 00:26:24.799
Hit the 38.
00:26:24.799 --> 00:26:30.319
As soon as you're 35, you it fall into the bra bracket of being geriatric pregnancy.
00:26:30.319 --> 00:26:31.039
So there's risk.
00:26:31.359 --> 00:26:32.960
You've become a high-risk pregnancy.
00:26:33.200 --> 00:26:35.680
And she probably the way she wants, she probably doesn't want one.
00:26:35.680 --> 00:26:44.559
She probably is gonna consecutive, so yeah, like he either needs to jump on board, but you know, if she has I wouldn't do it behind his back.
00:26:44.559 --> 00:26:48.880
I don't think she's the asshole, but I think she needs to be upfront.
00:26:49.119 --> 00:26:49.680
Oh, yeah.
00:26:49.680 --> 00:26:56.240
I think she needs to be upfront with her plans because you know, communication is the foreground of any relationship.
00:26:56.240 --> 00:27:03.759
I think she needs to be upfront and being like, look, I I'm willing to have a baby to and go IBF by myself.
00:27:03.759 --> 00:27:08.720
If you don't want one, I need you to either be on board.
00:27:08.720 --> 00:27:11.519
I mean, she's neat.
00:27:11.599 --> 00:27:15.440
I think the six-month thing, like yeah, I reckon probably that was too long.
00:27:15.680 --> 00:27:24.880
She wanted, like, I'm gonna give you six days, and then that's yeah, six months is a lot, like, and I just feel like that's you know, that's another half a year, yeah.
00:27:24.880 --> 00:27:28.079
So, like, she's 35.
00:27:29.119 --> 00:27:31.920
Yeah, so she's also pregnant in 2026.
00:27:31.920 --> 00:27:36.720
Yeah, so she's she's already 35, six months, she could have been 36 by now.
00:27:36.720 --> 00:27:44.480
You're pregnant for nine months, she's gonna be like 37, yeah, you know, so that's um I have to I've gonna have to read that thing.
00:27:44.480 --> 00:27:45.119
So hang on.
00:27:45.119 --> 00:27:49.839
We've got our little helper here, very, very cute, aren't you?
00:27:49.839 --> 00:27:52.559
Hey, you might need a microphone too.
00:27:52.559 --> 00:27:53.920
Yeah, all right.
00:27:53.920 --> 00:27:55.599
So, do you want anyone?
00:27:55.599 --> 00:27:56.640
Shall we hear the comments?
00:27:56.640 --> 00:27:58.240
Yeah, what was the top comment?
00:27:58.240 --> 00:28:03.680
Okay, top comment is that's these ones, hey.
00:28:03.680 --> 00:28:05.279
The very first one that pops up.
00:28:05.279 --> 00:28:07.519
Um, yeah, the first.
00:28:07.519 --> 00:28:09.039
Uh-oh, I lost it.
00:28:09.039 --> 00:28:11.519
I lost the thing.
00:28:11.519 --> 00:28:13.839
I lost my thing.
00:28:13.839 --> 00:28:15.839
That was the longest read.
00:28:15.839 --> 00:28:17.200
It was really long, yeah.
00:28:17.200 --> 00:28:19.519
So that top, I think it was this one here.
00:28:19.519 --> 00:28:20.000
There we go.
00:28:20.000 --> 00:28:20.319
Yeah.
00:28:20.319 --> 00:28:21.680
He's wasting your time.
00:28:21.680 --> 00:28:22.960
This is not the arsehole.
00:28:22.960 --> 00:28:24.319
Oh, sorry, not the arsehole.
00:28:25.519 --> 00:28:28.079
Yeah, then but what you want to do, hey?
00:28:28.240 --> 00:28:28.880
Not the arsehole.
00:28:28.880 --> 00:28:30.079
He's wasting your time.
00:28:30.079 --> 00:28:37.279
This is also why a lot of people say don't buy property with someone who isn't invested, i.e., married or at least kids.
00:28:37.279 --> 00:28:38.160
Yeah.
00:28:38.160 --> 00:28:40.319
You're not on the same path as him.
00:28:40.319 --> 00:28:42.319
I wouldn't even waste a further six months.
00:28:42.319 --> 00:28:43.279
That's what we were still at.
00:28:43.279 --> 00:28:44.640
Six months is too long.
00:28:44.640 --> 00:28:50.480
Because he's already told you he doesn't want to plan or save or do anything other than put money into the house.
00:28:50.480 --> 00:28:56.559
In six you are in six months, you should already know.
00:28:56.559 --> 00:29:00.880
And yeah, dangerous.
00:29:00.880 --> 00:29:05.599
It's never gonna be enough.
00:29:05.599 --> 00:29:07.519
He's it's like, yeah, he wants house.
00:29:07.519 --> 00:29:15.920
The house is gonna need repairs or the car's gonna need repairs, so just move on, get your share out of the house equity and move on with your life.
00:29:17.519 --> 00:29:20.799
Yeah, I agree with that.
00:29:20.799 --> 00:29:25.039
I mean, what's six months like okay, six months from today, like the date?
00:29:25.039 --> 00:29:26.400
Okay, what have you decided?
00:29:26.400 --> 00:29:27.200
Yeah, you know what I mean.
00:29:27.279 --> 00:29:30.079
Like someone else has said agreed, so not the arsehole.
00:29:30.079 --> 00:29:31.920
He stated that he doesn't want kids.
00:29:31.920 --> 00:29:33.839
Another six months won't change that.
00:29:33.839 --> 00:29:38.079
He's been lying to her the entire time, and now they have a house together.
00:29:38.079 --> 00:29:39.759
He doesn't think she'll leave.
00:29:39.759 --> 00:29:48.480
I wouldn't bring up wanting a child anymore to him, and I was scheduled the first appointment for my first IVF treatment the day after the deadline.
00:29:48.480 --> 00:29:54.400
At 35 years, it may be difficult to get pregnant, and you might need to try model, but that's what we were talking about.
00:29:54.400 --> 00:29:55.519
So she's already achieved.
00:29:55.839 --> 00:29:59.519
A lot of people on the same thing, we're all over.
00:30:00.640 --> 00:30:05.759
This okay, so happy cake day.
00:30:05.759 --> 00:30:06.559
I agree.
00:30:06.559 --> 00:30:08.880
I can't decide if he wants kids at 36.
00:30:08.880 --> 00:30:12.240
He thinks that because you have a house together, you'll stay.
00:30:12.240 --> 00:30:14.640
All his attention is on the house, not what you want.
00:30:14.640 --> 00:30:16.559
Do you ever need do you know what?
00:30:16.559 --> 00:30:17.599
I'm not gonna bother reading that.
00:30:17.599 --> 00:30:23.359
So, like general thing is I is there general consensus is she's not the asshole.
00:30:23.599 --> 00:30:26.000
Where do we say if there's an update?
00:30:26.000 --> 00:30:33.920
Uh sometimes they um will say on the post, like they'll be on the actual post, so it doesn't look like there's an update.
00:30:33.920 --> 00:30:36.319
Um that's the thing.
00:30:36.319 --> 00:30:38.559
Yeah, no, no update.
00:30:38.559 --> 00:30:39.839
Damn.
00:30:39.839 --> 00:30:41.519
Oh, so there's no update.
00:30:41.519 --> 00:30:42.799
When does it posted?
00:30:42.799 --> 00:30:44.640
Four days ago.
00:30:44.640 --> 00:30:45.680
So fresh.
00:30:45.839 --> 00:30:48.880
We might we'll have to keep an eye on that one because we might get an update.
00:30:48.880 --> 00:30:58.160
We need to get an update, but I feel like general consensus is not the asshole, but you just need to be honest, just tell him.
00:30:58.160 --> 00:31:00.720
Just tell him straight up if this is what's happening.
00:31:00.720 --> 00:31:02.640
You don't need to go behind his back.
00:31:02.640 --> 00:31:03.279
No.
00:31:03.599 --> 00:31:09.359
And uh and I mean, if you feel like you need to do that anyway at the moment, then is your relationship really worth it?
00:31:09.359 --> 00:31:16.079
You know, if you feel like you have to go behind your partner's back and do something so life-changing and drastically.
00:31:16.319 --> 00:31:18.799
Oh, and let's just take a minute to pause.
00:31:18.799 --> 00:31:23.759
You don't want to bring a child into a relationship already doomed.
00:31:23.759 --> 00:31:24.240
Yeah.
00:31:24.240 --> 00:31:25.119
Do you know what I mean?
00:31:25.119 --> 00:31:32.799
Like if she's gonna go into it just her on her own, IVF, be the best mum you possibly can, that's great.
00:31:32.799 --> 00:31:34.640
Fantastic, well done to you.
00:31:34.640 --> 00:31:46.720
But to force this fella who's on the fence about whether he wants kids or not, to like at least she hasn't actually done the contraceptive thing and got herself pregnant, because that would be really sad.
00:31:46.720 --> 00:31:54.079
But like, you know, like you don't want to do that, and then he not love you, and then you can get separated, sell the house.
00:31:54.079 --> 00:31:57.680
Then it's like traumatizing for the child, and you're like so.
00:31:57.680 --> 00:32:05.200
I reckon for your future child's mental health, yeah, just go your own way, doll.
00:32:05.200 --> 00:32:06.960
Yeah, not the asshole.
00:32:07.599 --> 00:32:09.519
Yeah, yeah, she's not the asshole.
00:32:09.519 --> 00:32:11.599
And neither is he, I don't think he is either.
00:32:11.599 --> 00:32:12.079
Do you know what?
00:32:12.079 --> 00:32:14.400
To be fair, it's kind of everyone kind of sucks.
00:32:14.400 --> 00:32:15.920
The situation does, yeah.
00:32:16.079 --> 00:32:19.519
Yeah, it's you know your paths have crossed and they need to go so.
00:32:19.519 --> 00:32:21.279
Sounds like things have fizzled out.
00:32:21.279 --> 00:32:21.680
Yeah.
00:32:21.680 --> 00:32:22.160
Oh yeah.
00:32:22.160 --> 00:32:23.839
No one none is the asshole.
00:32:24.400 --> 00:32:27.519
Yeah, it's just different, different life or butthole, as she said.
00:32:27.680 --> 00:32:31.519
Yeah, but I haven't heard that since I was like you butthole.
00:32:31.519 --> 00:32:36.000
Yeah, so I think it is just the relationship's dead in the water.
00:32:36.000 --> 00:32:39.440
Yeah, like you said, do the house up, continue.
00:32:39.440 --> 00:32:44.400
I reckon go tell him what you're doing, go through the IVF, he can be supportive together.
00:32:44.400 --> 00:32:48.799
Do the house up, sell it, split, big o bango, happy days.
00:32:48.799 --> 00:32:51.200
Yeah, all right.
00:32:51.200 --> 00:32:57.119
Okay, I reckon that we pick up.
00:32:58.400 --> 00:33:07.599
Okay, and now for our next story, it's Am I the Asshole for dating my ex's wife's late brother's wife?
00:33:07.839 --> 00:33:11.599
That's right, that was the one I needed to process for a minute or two.
00:33:11.599 --> 00:33:13.200
I'm onto it now, I'm ready to go.
00:33:13.359 --> 00:33:20.240
So this one was actually posted two days ago, and it has since been removed by the moderator of Am I the Asshole.
00:33:20.240 --> 00:33:27.119
But lucky for you, I screenshotted it when I saw it because I had a feeling that it might get deleted.
00:33:27.119 --> 00:33:29.680
Oh, that's why you are the brains of the operation.
00:33:29.680 --> 00:33:36.160
So, Am I the Asshole for dating my ex-wife's late brothers?
00:33:36.160 --> 00:33:46.640
Three years ago, I had a nasty divorce with my 35 male, with my 35 male wife, 35 male female, does that make sense for you?
00:33:46.640 --> 00:33:56.720
So three years ago, I had a nasty divorce with my 35 male wife, 35 female, of five years after being together for seven.
00:33:56.720 --> 00:34:03.279
Later that same year, her older brother passed away from a sudden heart attack in his sleep.
00:34:03.279 --> 00:34:07.119
I went to his funeral because I like the guy and we were friends.
00:34:07.119 --> 00:34:13.199
Fast forward to seven months ago, I was scrolling on Tinder when I bumped into his wife.
00:34:13.199 --> 00:34:14.639
We were always close.
00:34:14.639 --> 00:34:19.920
She genuinely she's genuinely pretty and a good woman, so I messaged her.
00:34:19.920 --> 00:34:21.920
She responded half an hour later.
00:34:21.920 --> 00:34:23.039
We talked for a while.
00:34:23.039 --> 00:34:29.760
I asked her out on a date, and she accepted and set it up at the restaurant for the next Friday night.
00:34:29.760 --> 00:34:33.280
The date went pretty well, and so we kept on going on them.
00:34:33.280 --> 00:34:35.360
And now we're officially dating.
00:34:35.360 --> 00:34:47.920
Now, she normally doesn't post anything on social media, but last week we were on our first vacation together in Paris, and she posted a story of us together in front of the Eiffel Tower.
00:34:47.920 --> 00:34:50.159
That's a nice first date.
00:34:50.159 --> 00:34:59.840
Yeah.
00:34:59.840 --> 00:35:11.599
Anyway, apparently, she still has my ex-wife and in-laws on her social media, and she was pissed.
00:35:11.599 --> 00:35:12.639
The ex-wife.
00:35:12.639 --> 00:35:13.360
Yeah.
00:35:13.360 --> 00:35:21.599
Later that day, she started messaging and calling us pieces of shit for betraying that's in quotation marks too.
00:35:21.599 --> 00:35:22.000
Yeah.
00:35:22.000 --> 00:35:30.719
Betraying her late brother, my girlfriend, told her that it's been three years and she can't expect her to stay single forever.
00:35:30.719 --> 00:35:34.400
And nobody except her has any say in her life.
00:35:34.400 --> 00:35:38.159
I told her the same and that I won't be single too.
00:35:38.159 --> 00:35:43.440
After her, and it's not any of any of her business, who either of us dates.
00:35:43.440 --> 00:35:48.880
We told to her we loved her brother, but he's dead, and life moves on.
00:35:48.880 --> 00:35:50.559
And it's been three years.
00:35:50.559 --> 00:35:51.760
It's been three years.
00:35:51.760 --> 00:35:54.480
Hang on.
00:35:54.480 --> 00:35:56.079
We're still going.
00:35:56.079 --> 00:36:01.360
She started crying and went and cried to her parents.
00:36:01.360 --> 00:36:09.760
They started accusing my partner of cheating on their son, and we told them that their son is dead and that we're not doing anything wrong.
00:36:09.760 --> 00:36:12.480
They kept talking, so we blocked all of them.
00:36:12.480 --> 00:36:21.920
We came back home two days ago, and last night they all came over to our place without notifying us first and started demanding we break up.
00:36:21.920 --> 00:36:27.360
We kicked them out, which included a lot of yelling and cussing and threatening to call the cops on them.
00:36:27.360 --> 00:36:32.639
We were were we really wrong though for dating?
00:36:32.639 --> 00:36:34.320
All these attacks.
00:36:34.320 --> 00:36:37.039
Hang on, sorry.
00:36:37.039 --> 00:36:40.400
Oh were we really wrong though for dating?
00:36:40.400 --> 00:36:48.079
All these attacks, I guess I've gotten into me, and I'm hang on, let me start that again.
00:36:48.079 --> 00:36:51.039
Were we really wrong though for dating?
00:36:51.039 --> 00:36:56.800
All these attacks, I guess, have gotten to me like I'm doing something bad or illegal here.
00:36:57.599 --> 00:36:58.400
That's sad.
00:36:58.400 --> 00:37:06.800
Is it I feel I actually don't even see a problem?
00:37:06.800 --> 00:37:07.840
So what what's the thing?
00:37:07.840 --> 00:37:10.639
They think they're an arsehole for doing it for dating.
00:37:10.800 --> 00:37:11.599
Yeah, for dating.
00:37:11.599 --> 00:37:19.519
Like he's saying that the all the attacks of his ex's wife's family, so from his ex-wife and the family.
00:37:19.519 --> 00:37:20.800
Because it's her brother.
00:37:20.800 --> 00:37:26.159
It's her brother that passed, and it's so it's her brother's wife that he's now dating.
00:37:26.559 --> 00:37:38.159
So like yeah, they're definitely there's a lot of relationships intertwining there, which is a bit out there.
00:37:38.159 --> 00:37:47.920
That's podcasting with kids.
00:37:47.920 --> 00:37:55.679
Okay, so my seven-month-old granddaughter's laying on my legs and playing with her feet as we're doing this podcast.
00:37:55.679 --> 00:37:59.920
She's just popped off on my stomach, and I've just breathed in the stank.
00:37:59.920 --> 00:38:03.760
Okay, getting it back, getting back on track though.
00:38:03.760 --> 00:38:09.920
I it's a bit weird that everybody knows each other, but then again, you've got to I don't know.
00:38:09.920 --> 00:38:12.480
Listening to it, I don't see a problem.
00:38:12.480 --> 00:38:17.119
The man's been gone, rest his soul, for three years.
00:38:17.119 --> 00:38:17.679
Yeah.
00:38:17.840 --> 00:38:25.599
Can they not be happy that I don't know, and sometimes people might find comfort and love in familiar in familiarity.
00:38:26.000 --> 00:38:26.480
Exactly.
00:38:26.480 --> 00:38:27.280
Yeah.
00:38:27.599 --> 00:38:30.559
And like, I don't know the circumstance of the ex-wife.
00:38:30.559 --> 00:38:38.159
It's not like they were, it's not like it's her, yeah, it's her sister-in-law, but it they're not, it's not your biological sister.
00:38:38.559 --> 00:38:40.000
No, but yeah, no, that's right.
00:38:40.000 --> 00:38:42.239
There's yeah, there's no one's yeah.
00:38:42.239 --> 00:38:48.320
Weird to see people you know that were dating other people you know now together.
00:38:48.320 --> 00:38:48.880
Yeah.
00:38:48.880 --> 00:38:53.679
So it's weird to see that, but it has been three years, they've not rushed into anything.
00:38:53.679 --> 00:38:59.920
And I personally would be happy that they found love again.
00:39:00.880 --> 00:39:07.760
It's not like going to family outings or anything like that, you know, that's that it's separate from her family now, like they're yeah.
00:39:07.760 --> 00:39:18.639
I mean, it's weird, I get it, and I feel like they need to like kind of acknowledge that it is probably a little bit weird for the family of their of his ex-wife, you know.
00:39:18.880 --> 00:39:28.800
Um and maybe, um, excuse me, maybe she should have probably talked it over with him before posting on social media.
00:39:28.800 --> 00:39:36.079
Yeah, or maybe and the family, let the family know that they were seeing each other so they didn't find out on social media.
00:39:36.239 --> 00:39:40.000
Let's see how I feel like when you find things out on social media can be a bit rough.
00:39:40.000 --> 00:39:42.159
Yeah, yeah.
00:39:43.039 --> 00:39:51.920
Yeah, I yeah, I as as immediate family members, I think you should know first before you post things on social media straight up.
00:39:51.920 --> 00:40:07.280
So if anyone's if anyone's done anything wrong or us wholly, it would be the fact that you know she's excited, she's put it on social media, that's fine, but maybe have just let the family know first that what was going on.
00:40:07.280 --> 00:40:10.320
I don't see a problem with them finding love again the second time around.
00:40:10.320 --> 00:40:19.119
No, and I would hope that the deceased gentleman would be okay with it.
00:40:19.119 --> 00:40:25.840
Yeah, you know, she's been able to find love again, and he obviously got along well with the guy, and yeah, and that's all fine.
00:40:25.840 --> 00:40:29.599
So I I feel like he would be okay with it.
00:40:29.599 --> 00:40:33.760
Um but maybe the whole social media thing, that's the only thing.
00:40:33.760 --> 00:40:38.719
Let me that kind of that's like you when you take photos of your kids and stuff like that.
00:40:38.719 --> 00:40:44.159
You always post them to me first before I see them on social media, which is I really appreciate that.
00:40:44.159 --> 00:40:53.920
I really uh appreciate seeing my grandkids and you guys doing little family stuff and see the photo first, and then a couple of hours later I see it on social media.
00:40:53.920 --> 00:40:54.320
Yeah, yeah.
00:40:54.320 --> 00:41:02.639
I appreciate being you it's it's which it's not like I say anything to you, but I do appreciate seeing them first before the world.
00:41:02.639 --> 00:41:03.440
Yeah, yeah.
00:41:03.440 --> 00:41:08.320
So I think I feel like that's probably if anything, that's probably what anyway.
00:41:08.400 --> 00:41:09.360
Yeah, top comment.
00:41:09.360 --> 00:41:15.519
Um, top comment is this post is fake, not hypothetical.
00:41:15.519 --> 00:41:17.199
That's what someone said.
00:41:17.199 --> 00:41:22.239
Oh, actually, that was posted by the moderator.
00:41:22.239 --> 00:41:27.920
Oh no, why they so maybe that's why it was deleted.
00:41:27.920 --> 00:41:29.519
Stop it.
00:41:29.519 --> 00:41:36.719
Oh no, oh well, that was a good fake story though.
00:41:37.039 --> 00:41:38.800
Yeah, kind of disinterested.
00:41:39.280 --> 00:41:41.519
Yeah, I kind of don't really need to talk about it anymore.
00:41:41.519 --> 00:41:52.079
That top actual top comment was they're all nuts, grief will do that, it's sad for them, but you need to ignore or block the rest of the family, and a lot of people on the same side, but okay.
00:41:52.079 --> 00:41:55.519
Well, unfortunately it was a fake story, and lesson learned.
00:41:56.800 --> 00:42:13.440
Yeah, but for me, lesson learned is is if you're going to do anything like that, and there's a lot of people that are into family, not incesty, I'm not saying that, but like just your friend and they split up and they go out with another friend and you're in the same friendship group.
00:42:13.440 --> 00:42:17.760
Let's just let everybody know first before we publicly announce it on social media.
00:42:17.760 --> 00:42:18.800
Yeah, 100%.
00:42:18.800 --> 00:42:21.199
All right, moving on to your story.
00:42:21.199 --> 00:42:26.800
Okay, so let me just get myself ready.
00:42:26.800 --> 00:42:30.320
I do have my glasses today, so that's a bonus.
00:42:30.320 --> 00:42:31.760
Well, not today.
00:42:32.480 --> 00:42:37.360
I already have them, but every time we go to do something with the podcast, mum forgets her glasses.
00:42:37.360 --> 00:42:38.239
Always.
00:42:38.480 --> 00:42:44.079
Okay, so this one, when I read it, I really intrigued, but I am like really cool.
00:42:44.079 --> 00:42:44.960
But do you know why?
00:42:44.960 --> 00:42:51.119
Because like this is a generation thing, I still, for the life of me, cannot work out how to find updates.
00:42:51.119 --> 00:42:54.559
So I will shoot over to Chloe after I've read the story to see if there's an update.
00:42:54.559 --> 00:43:00.000
Okay, so this is Am I the Arsehole for refusing to pick up my four-year-old from my ex?
00:43:00.000 --> 00:43:02.079
Okay, here we go.
00:43:02.079 --> 00:43:03.039
Wait, hang on.
00:43:03.119 --> 00:43:09.840
Let me give you my just from the title, I feel like it's a pretty arsehole move.
00:43:09.840 --> 00:43:15.119
Like, but then you know, like who refuses to pick up their four-year-old from their ex?
00:43:15.119 --> 00:43:17.199
It's your kid.
00:43:17.199 --> 00:43:22.559
But is but then I'm like, have you have you read this one?
00:43:22.559 --> 00:43:23.679
I have indeed.
00:43:24.159 --> 00:43:24.800
Keep going, keep going.
00:43:25.119 --> 00:43:36.079
So then I'm like, I also think that maybe it's you know, maybe the ex is like going out and partying all the time or something, and the other parents are no, like, be a parent.
00:43:36.079 --> 00:43:36.880
That's right.
00:43:37.199 --> 00:43:40.079
Anyway, you read up, but I just kind of wanted to put out my feelers.
00:43:40.079 --> 00:43:42.559
Put a bit in that, yeah, and we'll read on.
00:43:42.559 --> 00:43:43.199
Okay.
00:43:43.199 --> 00:43:46.960
I know how the title sounds, but hear me out.
00:43:46.960 --> 00:43:50.400
I have a four-year-old with my ex.
00:43:50.400 --> 00:43:54.239
Him and his girlfriend are expecting a baby any day now.
00:43:54.239 --> 00:43:56.079
It was around 12 a.m.
00:43:56.079 --> 00:44:02.159
on a Saturday when he called me up and asked me to pick up my son because his girlfriend was in labor.
00:44:02.159 --> 00:44:03.519
This is midnight.
00:44:03.519 --> 00:44:04.639
Yeah, okay.
00:44:04.639 --> 00:44:11.440
I had no problem watching my son, but I'd been out drinking, so I told him I wouldn't be able to pick him up.
00:44:11.440 --> 00:44:13.119
He needed to be dropped off.
00:44:13.119 --> 00:44:15.840
They live a five-minute drive away from me.
00:44:16.079 --> 00:44:16.960
Oh, okay, yeah.
00:44:17.199 --> 00:44:22.320
He argued with me and told me I needed to come and pick him up now since she was in labor.
00:44:22.320 --> 00:44:31.199
I explained to him that I had been drinking and I wouldn't drive to come and pick him up because I didn't feel safe driving myself, let alone with my four-year-old in the car.
00:44:31.199 --> 00:44:32.239
Obviously.
00:44:32.239 --> 00:44:38.400
I was perfectly capable of watching him, but he would need to be dropped off since I had had a few drinks.
00:44:38.400 --> 00:44:42.559
It's also illegal to drive 100% under the influence.
00:44:42.559 --> 00:44:44.079
100%, five minutes away.
00:44:44.079 --> 00:44:45.360
And they're going to the hospital.
00:44:45.360 --> 00:44:46.000
They're in the car.
00:44:46.000 --> 00:44:46.719
Detour.
00:44:46.719 --> 00:44:47.920
Exactly.
00:44:47.920 --> 00:44:48.480
All right.
00:44:48.480 --> 00:44:56.320
I told him that while my four-year-old was my responsibility on parenting time, his girlfriend and new baby were not my responsibility.
00:44:56.320 --> 00:44:57.280
Very cool.
00:44:57.440 --> 00:44:58.000
Yeah.
00:44:58.320 --> 00:45:04.480
I also said it would be irresponsible irresponsible of me to drive after I'd had a few drinks.
00:45:04.480 --> 00:45:11.920
I reated to him that I was willing to take him, but he needed to be dropped off because I would not be driving since I'd had a few drinks.
00:45:11.920 --> 00:45:15.920
He started yelling at me over the phone, get your ass over here now.
00:45:15.920 --> 00:45:20.320
So I just hung up and sent him a text that I was home if he decided to drop him off.
00:45:20.320 --> 00:45:24.880
He ended up dropping him off and then screamed at me in front of our four-year-old.
00:45:24.880 --> 00:45:27.280
So I took my son inside and locked the door.
00:45:27.280 --> 00:45:29.679
This whole argument took around 30 minutes.
00:45:29.679 --> 00:45:33.760
Why he could have just drove the five minutes and dropped him off and been on his way.
00:45:33.760 --> 00:45:40.480
I honestly feel that I feel sorry for the girlfriend having to have waited longer to go to the hospital.
00:45:40.480 --> 00:45:46.400
But I was not about to put my son or anyone else in danger because he wanted me to drive while I had been drinking.
00:45:46.400 --> 00:45:49.840
So am I the arsehole for refusing to pick up my son?
00:45:50.159 --> 00:45:52.559
No, no, no, no.
00:45:52.559 --> 00:46:00.639
And I'm just sitting here thinking, the poor his poor wife who's in labor.
00:46:00.639 --> 00:46:08.559
Well, I've just given birth seven months ago, and when my borders broke, it the labor just came really fast.
00:46:08.559 --> 00:46:13.119
Half an hour, things move quite fast in some cases.
00:46:13.119 --> 00:46:16.800
In my case, it was moving quite fast in half an hour.
00:46:16.800 --> 00:46:19.119
And that is not fun.
00:46:19.519 --> 00:46:22.880
Well, for me, 55 minutes.
00:46:22.880 --> 00:46:23.679
Yeah.
00:46:23.679 --> 00:46:27.199
First contraction to holding a baby in my arm 55 minutes.
00:46:27.199 --> 00:46:28.880
I did not have time to hang around.
00:46:29.119 --> 00:46:30.639
Yeah, like you never never know.
00:46:30.639 --> 00:46:39.519
So wouldn't you like, yeah, if you were, I mean, also, if you live five minutes, be like, all right, let's yeah, drop him off on the way to the hospital.
00:46:40.159 --> 00:46:41.280
Or if not on the way.
00:46:41.519 --> 00:46:49.760
You have if I don't know, maybe the wife was having a you know, pre-birth shower or you know, yeah, getting herself organized.
00:46:49.760 --> 00:46:51.440
You do this, are you fine?
00:46:51.440 --> 00:46:56.960
I'm gonna go drop XYZ off at such and such's house.
00:46:56.960 --> 00:46:59.440
I'll be back in like six minutes.
00:46:59.440 --> 00:47:00.400
Yeah, that's it.
00:47:00.559 --> 00:47:09.280
But like even if they were on their way to the hospital, it's and then her house, X's house isn't on the way, it's still like ten minutes.
00:47:09.519 --> 00:47:17.679
Heck, we dwent through McDonald's drive-through with Indy on the way to the hospital because we needed a little snack, a little frozen coke, and I needed a frozen cake.
00:47:18.159 --> 00:47:48.239
So, but like, yeah, so like five minutes like 10 minutes max, five minutes there, drop off, quick little exchange, you know, little handover notes, what have you, and then five minutes back, yeah, easy, as opposed to 30 minutes of animosity causing poor little mum to be stress 100%, and also to making X sound like she's a full raging alcoholic.
00:47:48.239 --> 00:47:52.800
Yeah, all she's done is innocently gone out when it's not her not, yeah.
00:47:52.800 --> 00:47:57.039
You know, she's not got the kiddo in question, yeah, yeah.
00:47:57.039 --> 00:48:05.840
And making her feel guilty for just having a few drinks, she doesn't know, nor should she be aware of that's your your child, your responsibility at that time.
00:48:05.840 --> 00:48:09.920
Suddenly just thinking like what you just said, your child, your responsibility.
00:48:09.920 --> 00:48:12.559
They should organize it's on his watch.
00:48:12.559 --> 00:48:16.320
Somebody to come and look like his parents or someone to come over, yeah.
00:48:16.320 --> 00:48:23.440
Hey, you know, my new partner is just about to have a baby, I'll call you when we instead of relying on the ex.
00:48:23.440 --> 00:48:25.199
Yeah, yeah, 100%.
00:48:25.199 --> 00:48:27.119
Anyway, top comment.
00:48:27.119 --> 00:48:29.760
Right, okay, let me get that up.
00:48:29.760 --> 00:48:34.159
Uh so I miss sorry.
00:48:34.159 --> 00:48:36.880
Yeah, the first comment.
00:48:36.880 --> 00:48:37.199
Yeah.
00:48:37.199 --> 00:48:40.480
Okay, so document it for future custody reviews.
00:48:40.480 --> 00:48:45.920
Wanting to drive your son while intoxicated is terrible parenting on his part.
00:48:45.920 --> 00:48:47.360
That's what we said.
00:48:47.360 --> 00:48:51.760
So not having a backup plan for his own kid was irresponsible.
00:48:51.760 --> 00:48:54.559
Or is that his job, not OP's job?
00:48:54.559 --> 00:48:55.280
Yeah, exactly.
00:48:55.280 --> 00:48:56.639
That's what we just said.
00:48:56.639 --> 00:48:58.559
Did he know the due date?
00:48:58.559 --> 00:49:01.440
He probably should have simply skipped visitation at that.
00:49:01.440 --> 00:49:02.960
Oh, didn't even think of that one.
00:49:03.119 --> 00:49:04.639
Yeah, I got a good idea.
00:49:04.639 --> 00:49:10.559
I did think that, but then you know, it could be like spontaneous births can happen, like I was two weeks, two weeks.
00:49:10.559 --> 00:49:11.599
You know, you don't know.
00:49:12.000 --> 00:49:12.960
That's right.
00:49:13.440 --> 00:49:14.079
Yeah.
00:49:14.079 --> 00:49:19.440
And then I mean that kid then misses out on seeing their dad, like, you know, for a new baby to arrive and those sorts of things.
00:49:19.440 --> 00:49:22.400
Yeah, and that's like sometimes it can get a bit like daddy loves, yeah.
00:49:22.559 --> 00:49:23.119
Yeah.
00:49:23.119 --> 00:49:29.119
So that yeah, but then he actually have to take responsibility for something in his life and he's not giving that kind of person.
00:49:29.119 --> 00:49:30.960
That's a bit harsh.
00:49:30.960 --> 00:49:31.519
Yeah.
00:49:31.519 --> 00:49:32.559
That's a bit harsh.
00:49:32.559 --> 00:49:34.400
Give cut the guy some slap.
00:49:34.400 --> 00:49:40.159
Sounds like accountability isn't in his vocabulary, and that's on him, not anyone else.
00:49:40.159 --> 00:49:43.280
Okay, I just like push, like pause for a second.
00:49:43.280 --> 00:49:45.360
I think the guy might have been panicked.
00:49:45.360 --> 00:49:45.920
Yeah.
00:49:45.920 --> 00:49:49.440
A little bit panicked, maybe this birth came on a little suddenly.
00:49:49.440 --> 00:49:56.400
A little bit panic, got the kid, best to be with his mum, come over, and then oh great, you've been out drinking.
00:49:56.400 --> 00:50:00.960
Like it just all sounds like it was poor timing everywhere.
00:50:00.960 --> 00:50:03.119
Yeah, baby came before they were ready.
00:50:03.360 --> 00:50:08.159
Mum had gone out and had lack of drinking communication too, potentially, like you know, yeah.
00:50:08.239 --> 00:50:10.400
Like, I don't know if anyone's the asshole at the minute.
00:50:10.400 --> 00:50:11.039
I can't tell.
00:50:11.280 --> 00:50:13.440
I don't, yeah, I think no one sucks here.
00:50:13.840 --> 00:50:15.920
I think he he he could have been a bit kinder to her.
00:50:16.159 --> 00:50:16.800
Yeah, oh 100%.
00:50:16.800 --> 00:50:28.239
I think he sucks definitely in the way that he's causing an argument, especially in front of their four-year-old son, while his wife's in late, his new wife's in late, but that's an asshole move.
00:50:28.239 --> 00:50:31.679
But she's not the asshole OP.
00:50:32.079 --> 00:50:40.480
Okay, lots and lots and lots of nah missing one visitation after the birth of another is not the same as not parenting.
00:50:40.480 --> 00:50:46.159
If the dad had made arrangements with OP ahead of time, it didn't seem like it would have been an issue.
00:50:46.159 --> 00:50:51.119
100% that's right, exactly in the big picture.
00:50:51.119 --> 00:50:57.760
People should have spoken to their ex ahead of time.
00:50:57.760 --> 00:51:00.639
Yeah, I think all general.
00:51:00.639 --> 00:51:06.880
Yeah, I don't think anyone is calling her the arsehole for not picking up all directors.
00:51:06.880 --> 00:51:11.440
We'll just see if there's an update.
00:51:11.599 --> 00:51:16.719
I'm gonna go on to so don't think so.
00:51:16.719 --> 00:51:24.559
There's not one posted on the original post, but let's go to OP's account.
00:51:26.159 --> 00:51:28.400
Mummy, I'm so excited to go champion.
00:51:28.880 --> 00:51:29.840
It is gonna be so exciting.
00:51:29.840 --> 00:51:39.360
Is there an update?
00:51:39.679 --> 00:51:49.119
No, there's not an update, but on the on her page, you've got red off my chest and posted a year ago.
00:51:49.119 --> 00:51:50.800
So when was this story posted?
00:51:50.800 --> 00:51:52.159
This was posted two days ago.
00:51:52.159 --> 00:51:56.559
So a year ago, it says I got out in an abusive relationship.
00:51:56.559 --> 00:52:01.840
Another one, I chose to be a single mother and I'm so much happier.
00:52:01.840 --> 00:52:03.039
Should we investigate?
00:52:03.039 --> 00:52:05.280
Let's do that.
00:52:05.440 --> 00:52:06.800
Oh my lord.
00:52:06.800 --> 00:52:07.840
Which one?
00:52:07.840 --> 00:52:08.320
Which one?
00:52:08.320 --> 00:52:11.360
Oh my gosh, we're finding this out in real time.
00:52:11.360 --> 00:52:15.280
An abusive relationship because what if that's with him?
00:52:15.519 --> 00:52:16.000
Yeah, okay.
00:52:16.320 --> 00:52:21.840
Because he's already coming in yelling and oh my god, yes, okay.
00:52:21.840 --> 00:52:23.280
We're riding this wave with you.
00:52:23.519 --> 00:52:24.320
Let's go.
00:52:24.320 --> 00:52:24.960
Okay.
00:52:24.960 --> 00:52:30.320
It says I got out of an abusive relationship.
00:52:30.320 --> 00:52:33.199
I was with him for almost four years.
00:52:33.199 --> 00:52:37.599
We have a two-year-old with him.
00:52:37.599 --> 00:52:40.400
I have and have a two-year-old with him.
00:52:41.519 --> 00:52:44.000
This would be this is a year, like he might be.
00:52:44.960 --> 00:52:51.679
He made me quit my job since his schedule was erratic and it was the best for both of us.
00:52:51.679 --> 00:52:53.679
He paid all the bills.
00:52:53.679 --> 00:52:56.400
He would throw things, scream, yell.
00:52:56.400 --> 00:52:59.519
I constantly felt like I was on eggshells around him.
00:52:59.519 --> 00:53:02.559
He cheated on me throughout the whole relationship.
00:53:02.559 --> 00:53:12.559
He constantly compared me to other women, which put my self-esteem in the trash and made me insecure, making it harder than ever to leave.
00:53:12.559 --> 00:53:15.920
I got my job back and I got me and my son out.
00:53:15.920 --> 00:53:23.679
I explained my situation to my boss, and luckily she was willing to work on me, uh, work with me on a schedule.
00:53:23.679 --> 00:53:25.280
On a schedule.
00:53:25.280 --> 00:53:28.480
I lost 20 pounds and look and feel great.
00:53:28.480 --> 00:53:31.920
5'8, 180 to 160 pounds.
00:53:32.159 --> 00:53:32.719
Okay, good.
00:53:32.960 --> 00:53:35.039
I don't know what pounds are in kilos.
00:53:35.440 --> 00:53:37.519
Oh, I haven't got my phone with me at the minute so far.
00:53:37.519 --> 00:53:38.480
I mean, it doesn't matter.
00:53:38.480 --> 00:53:38.960
Yeah.
00:53:39.280 --> 00:53:44.800
Moved in with my mum because it was the fastest way out, and I'm so proud of myself for doing it.
00:53:44.800 --> 00:53:48.639
It's only been three months, and he already has been seeing someone else.
00:53:48.639 --> 00:53:53.679
I feel no jealousy or resentment towards her.
00:53:53.679 --> 00:53:55.280
I feel sorry for her.
00:53:55.280 --> 00:53:58.159
She had no idea what she's getting into.
00:53:58.159 --> 00:54:04.159
I hope she sees it before she's in too deep, like I was.
00:54:04.159 --> 00:54:05.599
He is not healed.
00:54:05.599 --> 00:54:09.920
He has already admitted having his moments around her.
00:54:09.920 --> 00:54:12.159
Moments are in quotation marks.
00:54:21.760 --> 00:54:24.880
As well, she's never had any animosity to the other woman.
00:54:24.880 --> 00:54:25.920
Yeah.
00:54:27.119 --> 00:54:36.320
She also said, I wish I could warn her, but I know if I did, it would come off as I would come off as the crazy ex that just wants him back.
00:54:36.320 --> 00:54:38.320
So I will pray for her.
00:54:40.719 --> 00:54:42.320
Oh gosh.
00:54:47.360 --> 00:54:48.559
Oh my gosh.
00:54:48.559 --> 00:54:55.280
Okay, so top comment on this one is watch your back these next couple of months.
00:54:55.280 --> 00:54:59.519
A lot more women than you think get stalked and or murdered.
00:54:59.519 --> 00:55:03.280
Worst case scenario, after they freshly get out of an abusive relationship.
00:55:03.280 --> 00:55:07.920
Not to scare you or anything, but give some raw helpful info.
00:55:07.920 --> 00:55:09.920
OP replied saying, Thank you.
00:55:09.920 --> 00:55:14.159
I'm well aware of this, and I have many family members around me all the time because of this.
00:55:14.159 --> 00:55:17.199
My cousin was murdered by her ex-boyfriend.
00:55:17.199 --> 00:55:18.000
Oh my god.
00:55:18.159 --> 00:55:20.559
Oh gosh, this kids getting worse.
00:55:22.639 --> 00:55:25.119
Yeah, only four comments on that one.
00:55:25.119 --> 00:55:26.400
So wasn't it?
00:55:26.800 --> 00:55:27.360
How long ago is that?
00:55:27.360 --> 00:55:29.199
That was that was a year ago, yeah.
00:55:29.199 --> 00:55:30.079
Yeah.
00:55:30.079 --> 00:55:33.679
Oh, she definitely dodged a bullet with the guy.
00:55:33.679 --> 00:55:40.719
But she's still not the arsehole for not picking up her son from her ex.
00:55:40.719 --> 00:55:47.519
He really, really needed to actually take responsibility for the situation.
00:55:47.519 --> 00:55:48.400
Yeah.
00:55:48.639 --> 00:55:52.079
He I feel sorry for his current partner.
00:55:52.079 --> 00:55:52.960
I do too.
00:55:52.960 --> 00:55:54.800
So does our OP.
00:55:55.039 --> 00:55:56.880
OP feel sorry for her.
00:55:57.360 --> 00:55:58.480
Yeah, 100%.
00:55:58.480 --> 00:56:00.320
She's not the asshole.
00:56:00.320 --> 00:56:00.800
No.
00:56:00.800 --> 00:56:02.800
And yeah.
00:56:03.199 --> 00:56:04.079
I reckon he is.
00:56:04.079 --> 00:56:06.079
I've got I'm calling it he's the asshole.
00:56:06.159 --> 00:56:06.800
Yeah.
00:56:07.679 --> 00:56:09.440
He is okay.
00:56:09.440 --> 00:56:12.880
Well, I love the rabbit hole that you took us down there, Chloe.
00:56:13.119 --> 00:56:13.360
I know.
00:56:13.599 --> 00:56:13.920
Loved it.
00:56:13.920 --> 00:56:15.840
I did not expect that one little bit.
00:56:16.159 --> 00:56:18.480
No, that how's that for a first podcast?
00:56:18.480 --> 00:56:18.800
I know.
00:56:18.800 --> 00:56:23.440
Not first or first lot of stories, and we find some more juicy.
00:56:23.440 --> 00:56:27.519
I mean, I don't want to say juicy gods, not being juicy, it's sad.
00:56:27.840 --> 00:56:31.599
At least we help OP know that she is not the asshole here.
00:56:31.840 --> 00:56:32.320
Yeah.
00:56:32.320 --> 00:56:33.199
Yeah.
00:56:34.400 --> 00:56:37.360
Well, other saucy stuff on that guy.
00:56:37.519 --> 00:56:38.159
Yeah.
00:56:38.159 --> 00:56:42.559
Thank you everyone for listening to our first podcast.
00:56:42.559 --> 00:56:46.480
That is today's dose of chaos on Mums Gone Wild.
00:56:46.480 --> 00:56:50.239
Thank you for diving into Reddit's Madness with us today.
00:56:50.239 --> 00:56:51.280
I'm Chloe.
00:56:51.280 --> 00:56:52.159
I'm Paula.
00:56:52.159 --> 00:56:58.159
Remember, we're not therapists, just two mums with zero filters and too many opinions.
00:56:58.159 --> 00:57:04.800
So subscribe, share, and send us your wild stories because we're always ready to get unhinged again next week.
00:57:04.800 --> 00:57:09.599
Until then, stay sane or at least stay entertained.