speaker-0: This is a Dynamic Network podcast.
speaker-1: To Console Combat, your final destination for weekly video game and tech news, video game adaptation reviews, and stat-based character battles. I am the Arbiter, the artificial being responsible for this show. And now, allow me to introduce players one and two, John and Dean.
speaker-2: Hello everyone, welcome to another episode of Console Combat. I am as always one of your hosts, John, and with me is the HIL to my silent Dean.
speaker-0: ⁓ god, shut up.
speaker-2: ⁓ god, this is gonna be rough. forewarning, up close, up front, personal, in the beginning, what have you?
speaker-1: Mm-hmm.
speaker-0: In the beginning, in the minining, in the beginning, in the beginning, in the mingining.
speaker-2: We are not going to be going crazy talking about this thing that was described as a film. We're gonna talk about it. But
speaker-0: Yes, this alleged film.
speaker-2: This this episode is gonna be very news heavy, I think. And even then it's not gonna be that heavy. So ⁓ just bear with us this go round. ⁓ but speaking of this go round, ⁓ Arbiter help.
speaker-0: Even then.
speaker-1: Alright, combatants, before this week's main event, John and Dean must enter the drop zone.
speaker-2: Alright Dean. ⁓ we have a new month. It's games time. Games o'clock.
speaker-0: Damn, my watch battery died. I didn't know.
speaker-2: Game October. so I'm gonna give you guys what's today. Today is the fifth of release day, so we're I'm gonna give you guys all the way through October twelfth. Can't believe it's gonna be that that far into the month already.
speaker-0: Yeah, no kidding.
speaker-2: But let me get you guys through it. Starting on October 1st, ⁓ these are all obviously out, but I'm just gonna tell you because I didn't tell you about them last week. End of Abyss on the PS5, the Xbox, and the PC. Dynasty Warriors 3, the complete edition remastered on the PS5, the Switch 2, the Xbox, and the PC. Ghosts of Yotai, Most Wanted, DLC on the PS5, and Octopath Traveler 1 and 2 on the Switch 2. On the second, Ace Combat 8, Wings of Thieve on the PS5, the Xbox, and the PC. On the fifth, Aeon or Ion, A-I-O-N, one word, on the PC. On the sixth, Disney Epic Mickey Rebrushed on the Switch 2, Skars of War E-Day on the Xbox and the PC. And Star Wars Galactic Racer on the PS5, the Xbox, and the PC. That's a I think that's actually a pretty good looking game if I remember correctly.
speaker-0: Yeah I'm definitely curious about that one. Yeah.
speaker-2: I was always a fan of episode one racer and that one gave me vibes. So ⁓ maybe maybe perhaps ⁓ something to talk about soon. on the eighth, Clive Barker's Hellraiser Revival on the PS5, the Xbox, and the PC. I remember talking about that one. I am interested for show. Forever Ago on the PS5, the Xbox, the Switch 2, and the PC. Kingdom Hearts Collection 1 through 3 on the PS5, Switch 2, and Xbox. And Order of the Sinking Star on the Switch 2 and the PC. And finally on the 9th, Dragon's Dogma 2, Dark Arisen on the Switch 2. And ⁓ yeah, so that's that for October through October 12th for Game Drop. There's a good couple of interesting ones on here coming out soon after that. But ⁓ that's the tease you're gonna get. Game Pass?
speaker-0: Game Pass. Alright, so this is the list according to purexbox.com. Blame them, not me. October 2nd, we will have keeper or had ⁓ for series XS, PC, and cloud on the premium tier. the rest of these will all be for series XS, PC, and cloud for ultimate and PC. Except for one and I will mention that. October 6th, Gears of War E-Day. October 8th, Echo Weaver and Neon Abyss 2. October 13th, Deep Dish Dungeon and Valor Mortis. Ooh, I like Deep Dish. Yes. ⁓ October 15th, Beyond the Stars. That is a PC release only. ⁓ as well as Chained Beasts. ⁓ October 27th, the Seance of Blake Manor. And October twenty ninth, terrible lizards. Must be pretty terrible.
speaker-2: That last one must be about our government.
speaker-0: No, it's just Zuckerberg and his family. ⁓ all right, so moving on to the Epic Game Store free games. ⁓ also Steam did do their or they started their autumn sale, so definitely check that out for some ⁓ deep discounts. the two free games currently for free redemption on Epic are Buried Stars and the System Shock 2 25th Anniversary Remaster. Both of those will be available from October 8th or until October 8th at 11 a.m. Following those, we have Out of Sight, which is an interesting concept. ⁓ you play as a girl named Sophie who is blind, and you see through the perspective of her teddy bear's eyes. It is a horror puzzle game, ⁓ which is funny because it's actually rated E10. The other free game is Terrascape, which is a game. ⁓ Or you can build ⁓ kingdoms and stuff on floating islands. ⁓ so think like manor lords, but it's on like a floating island type deal. both of those are going to be free from October 8th until the 15th. Moving on to the newsy news. ⁓ apparently there has been another exploit for the PlayStation 5. Boy, ever since Sony has just Yeah, ever since Sony has decided they're not gonna make discs anymore, ⁓ the console modding community has said hold my G Fuel and has gone to fucking work. So the this new exploit is the relapse exploit, which which works for any PS5 up to version thirteen point six, which was a ⁓ the update from July.
speaker-2: Let's go boys. Let's go.
speaker-0: So now jailbreaking is possible for any PS5 that was updated before the mid-September release of version 14. ⁓ basically it's another one of the browser exploits. ⁓ that's how you deliver the package. And you can do homebrew apps, emulators, 60 fps mods for legacy PS4 games like Bloodborne. they're also working on the full implementation for Linux. So ⁓ 'cause that is still locked onto the firmware seven point six one.
speaker-2: All right, so to quote the kids, we so bad
speaker-0: We're so back. It's so over. It we're so back.
speaker-2: They're so cooked, y'all. The so cook chat.
speaker-0: Yes. ⁓ so yeah, if you have a PS5 that you didn't turn on for a while, ⁓ at least ⁓ before mid-September, ⁓ you may still have the firmware version where you could do that if you wanted to. ⁓ if you do decide to turn the console on, ⁓ maybe turn your router off first so it doesn't automatically connect and update. ⁓ so you can turn off the Wi-Fi before going in and booting it up. ⁓ Mojang has finally revealed their newest Minecraft dimension after 14 years. ⁓ it is called the Sift. So if you are looking for a fresh update of Minecraft that is not just mods, new dimension is coming soon. when's it released? ⁓ will be coming in twenty twenty seven. For Java and Bedrock Edition. another cool one that's a bit of a throwback, even more of a throwback, ⁓ Lego Racers. It has returned. It is completely free to play via your browser, thanks to a group of fans who has remastered it after decompiling the game. ⁓ it has been 27 years. The game came out in 99. So if that's something you're ⁓ nostalgic for or would like to try out. It's definitely a fun game. it is on the website steponit.online. Actually open that in the new tab because I want to wow, that is crazy. It literally just boots into the game. Wow, okay. God, it's incredible what we could do with technology nowadays. ⁓ the smaller ⁓ little things. ⁓ apparently Metro 2033 and Last Light Redux will be getting next generation updates ⁓ this month. So if you're looking for a upgraded version of the older metro games, you will now be getting a Metro re-redux. So keep an eye out for that. And some kind of still developing Halo news. ⁓ if you're in the nerdy you know, deep in Halo lore community like me, ⁓ you may have heard of Hidden Experia. He is a he talks a lot about lore stuff, but lately he's been talking a lot about what's been going on behind the scenes, ⁓ along with having contacts ⁓ that are vetted from the the the contacts that are contacting him are vetted as confirmed previous 343/slash Halo Studios employees that were laid off or whatever. ⁓ so their credentials are valid and they are. Giving him information and insights into what happened during the Halo Infinite development, as well as what the original plans were and what the original plans for the campaign DLC for Halo Infinite was supposed to be as well. ⁓ he has a couple his two newest videos as of recording now. hadn't go really deep into that, a bunch of the what-ifs and what could have beens. ⁓ a lot of it's very interesting. So if that's something you're interested in checking out, definitely go check out his videos on that. yeah he is able to explain it a lot better than I could in a short time frame in a new segment. So definitely check his stuff out if you're interested in ⁓ that. ⁓ that was pretty much everything I had. ⁓ was there some shouf that you wanted to yap about?
speaker-2: Yeah of course I do. You know. You know how it'd be. ⁓ let me see. Let me see what I got in the ⁓ well let me see what I got in the f portfolio ⁓ that is your Instagram. Dump it all. I dump everything. Everything. I dump it all. It's all there. All there. ⁓ dump it in the trash.
speaker-0: We do be like that sometimes. The one I never checked. My master campaign evolved is already on sale on the Steam ⁓ Autumn sale. 'Cause no one wants it. It's not even that much on sale, it's just ten bucks off.
speaker-2: Yeah, well, yeah. Discounts, discounts, discounts.
speaker-0: I'm not paying forty dollars for a game I've played five hundred times with a new skin. And worse. It's worse.
speaker-2: Well, all right, let me I I guess this can be considered good news. ⁓ a Pennsylvania senator named John Cain has come out in support of
speaker-0: ⁓ yeah.
speaker-2: ⁓ until ⁓ sorry, he has joined the desire to help out with the Protect Our Games Act, ⁓ which is a proposal that would require companies to give players notice and provide options if they enter access to a digital game or change its features. ⁓ that is his proposal.
speaker-0: You know, it's kind of funny because apparently the EU has just put out a proposed new law that's actually the exact opposite of all that. ⁓ I I wasn't really gonna get too much into it, ⁓ but if you're in the EU, definitely ⁓ I believe Ross Scott has a video talking about it. And I I believe ⁓ Charlie, Moist Critical, ⁓ Penguin Z Zero, ⁓ has a video discussing it as well if you wanted to dive more into that. ⁓ but it's basically the exact opposite. ⁓ shocking which is ironic as fuck for the EU. 'Cause they're usually like the g one to go to when it comes to consumer rights.
speaker-2: Come sh. Not na mão. Not na mão.
speaker-0: Apparently not. Anyways, continue.
speaker-2: let me see, do I have any any other not games that I've found before I go into the games that I found? It doesn't look like I was just talking to you well yeah, a little bit, but I was just telling showing you ⁓ modders are using Claude AI to blend games and some of it is ridiculous, but some of it's pretty fucking entertaining, I'm not gonna lie. it
speaker-0: Right. Yeah, he showed me s Marvel Spider Man with Call of Duty gun physics and stuff while still ⁓ thhipping around. Yep.
speaker-2: Looked like it was in it yeah, I was gonna say it was either Skyrim or Fallout of some kind.
speaker-0: It it was Skyrim, it was ⁓ it was one of the farms near Windows.
speaker-2: There there is Super Mario sixty four with a bunch of Doom characters and other characters. portal gun and COD zombies and I I just I'm here for it. I am it the ridiculousness is real and I'm kinda here for it. ⁓ if we're gonna use AI for anything, using it for stupid shit like this is top shelf for me.
speaker-0: Using the portal gun. I would prefer if they're running it off local AI models, but
speaker-2: Take what we can get. ⁓ all right, so a bunch of the I found a decent handful of games ⁓ that may or may not be shit, but you know. ⁓
speaker-0: Right, well t give me a title, we'll find out if the first one's mixed.
speaker-2: ⁓ it's probably gotta be. this one's called Dust Till Dawn. It's a Junji t a Junji Ito inspired cleaning sim where you're a maid in a Japanese village that gets strange once the sun goes down.
speaker-0: Zamaki. you know what? I kind of fuck with the vibe. I love that the developer is Mac and Cheese Games. That's awesome. It also has no user reviews, so ⁓ apparently they have a playtest ⁓ available if you're interested.
speaker-2: ⁓ it's coming to P C in twenty twenty seven, the S Playtest is available now, yeah, so
speaker-0: I'm just gonna add that to my wish list just so I can ⁓ remember that 'cause that definitely looks interesting.
speaker-2: ⁓ so I'll give the this is the G World Media Games Instagram description in their caption. you are the newest maid in a rural Japanese village that is far too quiet. Requests come in, you show up and you dust, mop, and squeegee the place back to something presentable. It's it is a power wash sim loop at heart and during daylight it is genuinely relaxing work. Money earns ⁓ money earned buys better tools, better tools open up new rooms. And locations across the village, the school and the market among them, poking around those spaces is how the story reaches you. Nobody sits you down and explains anything. You pick it up from what is lying around and the game's one piece of advice is to not stay out too late because some things are meant to stay hidden. So I do like that vibe quite.
speaker-0: Yeah, it's kinda like ⁓ the Power Wash Sim meets ⁓ what's the the new Silent Hill? Yeah, where it's in the in the Japanese village, you know, twisted type shit. Yeah. It's kinda like a mix of that type shit.
speaker-2: Requiem. type shit. Yeah. another gaming world media games game release or ish kind of thing. This one's called Killbreach. It's a roguelite first person shooter mixing Doom Eternal movement with black op zombies horde killing in a random alien facility.
speaker-0: movement. So you know, fast pace, don't stop moving.
speaker-2: Jumpy around ye all over the placey. I dig the vibe.
speaker-0: Yeah, it's not released yet, so
speaker-2: Nope. No release date yet, but it can be a wish list. ⁓ it's the dev is triple dev, so you know, keep an eye out for that one. ⁓ it's it's like Kingmakers, it's on the way. Okay.
speaker-0: Basically play the game minimum spec on what's nowadays considered a potato.
speaker-2: okay, well you were into the Junji Ito, so let's see how you feel about gay ⁓ sorry, ⁓ cop bastard. a boomer shooter where you play a dirty Osaka cop mowing down Yakuza with no perks and no upgrades.
speaker-0: Doing the whole VHS filter over everything. This is very unity coded. What the fuck? That guy just exploded.
speaker-2: I mean it looks terrible graphics wise, but it's it's supposed to be early nineties Osaka. Yeah.
speaker-0: I mean listen, I'm at the point now where I really just don't give a shit about how a game looks, as long as it plays well. Like, I do you know how much enjoyment I got out of Battle Bit? It's basically
speaker-2: Yeah. No.
speaker-0: Minecraft Battlefield. It's low poly characters, low poly guns, tang like the world and everything. It's low poly and everything, but it's very fun because it feels like Battlefield. I I just care about how it plays. So and this is definitely going for a specific vibe. So I'm not I'm not opposed to that. ⁓ apparently the demo is available. I'm gonna add that to my library as well. Okay.
speaker-2: Okay. ⁓ this is Mad Morph. He is the Instagram ⁓ nope. ⁓ that is the Instagram I'm pulling this one from. The game is called I Am Ripper. You are the detective trying to solve serial killers' crimes. You are also the victim in their final moments, and apparently you might also be the killer.
speaker-0: But that was the game title. Was it fucking heavy rain?
speaker-2: Shaw
speaker-0: ⁓ I bet he's gonna see the clown. I bet he's gonna see the clown. Such a shit fucking game. Ha ha ha ha ha ⁓
speaker-2: I mean this one looks interesting all the same.
speaker-0: It's ⁓ sorry, I gotta do this in character. I Am Ripper is a British thriller set in the brutally economic decline of the nineteen eighties.
speaker-2: Most impressive your cockney is accurate. Sorry.
speaker-0: I failed you, passed away. ⁓ It's definitely definitely a vibe.
speaker-2: Yeah, for sure, for sure. ⁓ speaking of games that are vibes, you're gonna really find this one to be a fucking vibe. ⁓ this being shared from the Petty Jew games. that's the Instagram profile that I'm pulling this one. ⁓ Skin Face is a gruesome horror thriller where you pick faces apart to build the perfect disguise.
speaker-0: No no.
speaker-2: You're a faceless hitman trying to gain entry to your target's apartment, so you attack strangers, peel off their facial features, and assemble a skin mask that'll win your target's trust.
speaker-0: So Hitman meets Texas Chainsaw.
speaker-2: Yeah. ⁓ my god. It's it's a game. It looks fucking weird. But ⁓ it it fucking looks original, man. It I it I can't I have to give it that. It looks original.
speaker-0: Yeah. Yeah, they have a demo. It's set for releasing Q four. So I'm gonna I'm gonna add that demo to my library too. See how that plays out.
speaker-2: Look at the I'm fucking I'm hitting the fucking ground random with this one. ⁓ Jesus Christ, it's a couple I wish listed this week. Jeez. Jeez. Alright, let's see if we can keep it going. ⁓ another Petty Jew games. This one is called the Head Cutter. It is a sci-fi spaghetti western first person shooter with brutal combat, destructible environments, and a whole lot of gore. You step into the boots of Jimmy Lucky O'Neal, a bounty hunter with a passion for guns, whiskey, and retro tech. Along tide alongside Z, a man out for revenge after losing his family and half his limbs.
speaker-0: This is very gory and I love the destructible environments.
speaker-2: It's like it's like Doom meets Duke Nukem meets like Red Dead Revolver. So fucking ridiculous.
speaker-0: Yeah. Yeah, like one three fifty seven round to the face and they just explode.
speaker-2: ⁓ but like over the top like that is just amazing.
speaker-0: You can also use the environment to ⁓ kill your enemies. I saw him shoot a chandelier and it dropped down on that. Yeah, this is this definitely looks interesting. I'd be interested to check this one out.
speaker-2: Amazing. Amazing. Yeah. Release dates to be announced, unfortunately, and nothing out just yet, but ⁓ it you know, that looks good.
speaker-0: Wait a minute. Is the health bar the cigarette?
speaker-2: That would be fantastic.
speaker-0: ⁓ my god, the cigarette he's smoking is the health bar.
speaker-2: That's awesome.
speaker-1: Ha ha ha ha.
speaker-0: Little things like that.
speaker-2: Fantastic. Alright, it's top tier. Top tier now. Yep. this one is thank you ⁓ indie game Joe for the Instagram that I'm pulling this one from. It's called the game is called Figure Me Out. You can wish list it now. It's a friend slot game. This indie developer is making a game where you eliminate other players by typing the number on their forehead.
speaker-0: Game of the year.
speaker-2: And you can use different things like binoculars and a camera. And I it's it's it's fucking hilarious. It's original, it's creative, ⁓ and I I it's very clever. I I gotta say it's very unique in that I don't think I've ever heard of anything like this. It's like a nineteen nineties type of game except with multiplayer aspects.
speaker-0: Yeah. I wonder if you could just cheat it and fucking ⁓ no you can't. You can't cover your number.
speaker-2: Yeah, no but it it actually prevents you from doing stuff like that. It's it's Yeah, yeah.
speaker-0: It adds a kill timer. I was gonna say, what if you just look down the entire time? Nope. Interesting. I I would be down to try this. This does look fun. I mean it's definitely gimmicky. This is something I'd play.
speaker-2: Of course, it's fucking friend slap as fuck, but it's still it's still fun looking. ⁓
speaker-0: Yeah. ⁓ Good thing I'm one of the few people in in today's day and age with a gaming PC that still has a fucking number pad on my keyboard.
speaker-2: I also am lucky. Yep.
speaker-0: Yeah. You're dead. You're dead.
speaker-2: Yep. Alright, last one from me, this one's from Game Rant official Instagram. Milo, a so a solo developed co-op first person shooter from Rat Scream Games, wants to recreate the classic Call of Duty Zombies experience, turning away the fantasy and sci-fi elements of recent COD Zombies modes in favor of straightforward horde survival.
speaker-0: I think you've mentioned this before because I already have this wish listed.
speaker-2: I don't think I did. Milo doesn't ring a bell at all.
speaker-0: I've seen it somewhere then, and I was interested in it enough to add it to my wish list.
speaker-2: All early access comes out on the twenty ninth of this month, everybody. ⁓ if you like old Call of Duty zombies like I do, please get on the ⁓ wish list. Let's try this game out, shall we?
speaker-0: Let's get some new fucking Ocdaron totin.
speaker-2: Hell yeah, brother. Hell yeah, brother.
speaker-0: If it doesn't play one one five as an Easter egg, I'll be upset he spaghetti. They wouldn't be able to for copyright reasons.
speaker-2: Yeah, obviously. Obviously, but doesn't change anything.
speaker-0: Ooh, the car ninety eight. I'm so
speaker-1: Uuuuh, ¿quién es...?
speaker-2: Alright, well the news is out of the way. and we have we have to do this. We have to do it we have to do this. You're right. I know, I know, I know. Arbiter, please.
speaker-0: This is default, John.
speaker-1: Now, let's get Oddball October going! Just like last October, this month will be devoted strictly to side questing. And since we want you all to stay, we figured we would get this one out of the way early. So, this week, the guys, regretfully, are discussing Return to Silent Hill. And, well, I personally can't wait to never visit again. Unless, that is, we decide to discuss the actual games. Until then, since John chose this, boo this man!
speaker-2: Yeah, I've I've earned it. I've earned it.
speaker-1: You stink! Hey, this guy stink!
speaker-0: Big matey claw.
speaker-2: Yeah, this my bad y'all My bad, I'm sorry. I I honestly can't either. This movie was a movie that happened in somehow it happened in theaters.
speaker-0: Fuck I can't believe you've done this. Who gave this movie funding?
speaker-2: I ⁓ you know what? Let's find out.
speaker-0: Who no no, I don't mean like which studio. I mean who was the guy in the studio that day that was on so many drugs? He was just sitting in a Khole and went ⁓ okay, let's end it. Like come on,
speaker-2: The real question is, 20 years later, who was like, you know that Christoph Gons movie we made in 2006? It's been 20 years. You think everyone will forget about it? Do you think if we make it about the second video game that everyone loves so fucking much, it'll be a better draw? Let's check it out! Let's let's cast absolutely nobody that's famous.
speaker-1: Let's do it again. Let it ride.
speaker-2: At all.
speaker-0: It's not even that. Like fine I'm genuinely I'm fine with the like look at Obsession. Like the no name actors for the most part. Well, because the director had a proper fucking vision and a good script. Yeah. This has neither.
speaker-2: But they did a good job. Yeah. This has nothing. Like I sat through this movie wondering what the fuck is happening from nearly the beginning. And now again, I understand. Silent Hill 2 is exactly what this movie was. It was James Sunderland looking for his dead wife in Silent Hill after receiving a letter from her. This movie was so desperate to be that game that I think ⁓ maybe just maybe they tried way too hard and missed by a mile.
speaker-0: Mile? Fuck it, not even on the same planet.
speaker-2: I'm just saying, I never played Silent Hill 2 and be smirching the name of the Konami series that maybe put the name besides Metal Gear of Konami on the shelf as a fucking mainstay. I mean, yes, Konami has had other games, but let's be fucking real. Metal Gear Solid and Silent Hill are their fucking moneymakers. Their biggest draw in any category is those two series. The fact that they even said in association with Konami. In the credits of this movie, I understand now why Kojima left.
speaker-0: I mean to be fair, like they legally have to be involved in their IP.
speaker-2: No, I I get it. Fucking understand, but Jesus Christ, Konami, have some self fucking just something, like
speaker-0: What are you doing?
speaker-2: This I wanted to think so much better of this movie, because I gotta be honest, the creatures, aside from the one that we can talk about, were pretty cool looking creatures. I'll give the creatures the credit, except for one they don't deserve it, but
speaker-0: no, I'm I'm I think Pyramid Head was not He wasn't what he wasn't the presence that he was in the other films.
speaker-2: If he had a face in the games, I think it would be wrong. They gave him a personality and then they made him I mean, spoiler alert, I'm that we're gonna be all over the place for you know however we talk about this movie. It it at one point shows it as James is the pyramid head. Yes. And I'm like I don't fucking understand why.
speaker-0: I mean that is canonically true though.
speaker-2: But okay, so then why is it
speaker-0: But there's no there's no setup for it in the
speaker-2: ⁓ yeah, there's there's no any like everyone knows that the the pyramid head is a a figment. He's a he's a you know he's a station. Yes, that's the word I was ⁓ and actually probably one of the most iconic manifestations in any horror game from any video game ever. ⁓ he's just iconic and ⁓ as as horrible as we spoke about the last two movies
speaker-0: Yeah.
speaker-2: They did pyramid head really fucking good. ⁓ by comparison, yes, especially that I would say they went probably too practical in his regard. No
speaker-0: No, I wouldn't say that it's he's too practical in the in Return to Silent Hill. I think it's more that they he doesn't have the illusion of being as big and hulking as he really is in the games. Cause like in the first Silent Hill, he's a huge threatening presence. But in here, he's kind of just around and then like is it. the same height as James because he's literally James, but he doesn't have the big hulking presence. It's just the giant pyramid head that's all of his presence. And well that is and his heavy breathing. Like that's it. Like he does he doesn't have the it's not like Nemesis or something. Or Mr. X where it's like this big fucking guy that's following you.
speaker-2: Yeah, true.
speaker-0: that that's something that they definitely fucked up on. And and also the heavy over reliance for even unnecessary CG because the fucking there's a scene where James is running and I can't even remember where it was in the film. But it's like they didn't film the part of him running that they wanted to use to fucking pad the time, basically is what it felt like.
speaker-2: There was a lot of that. When they went from the top down perspective especially. Yeah.
speaker-0: Yeah, yeah. I and there's a lot of really bad green screen as well that even my wife when we were watching it goes, ⁓ that green screen is bad. She is not the cynical ass that I am. If she called it out
speaker-2: That's bad. Like, there was there was just so much of nonsense too, like
speaker-0: There was. A lot of wasted time.
speaker-2: And how many different directors inspirations did you catch? Because I caught at least
speaker-0: To be honest, I really wasn't paying that much attention. That kind of thing. I was more just tr struggling to understand the plot.
speaker-2: Well I mean The what plot? There was no fucking plot to this movie. Whatsoever. No, they they tried to rely too heavily on the references, I think. The nurses were good. The nurses looked good. They always look good because they're pretty much all practical, I think. ⁓ until they're not. the no arm creatures, I think they I don't even know what the fuck they're called.
speaker-0: Yeah. Yes. They were CG. Yeah, they were C. They were CG based on like ⁓ 3D scans and stuff of the ⁓ the actress who was the the armless creatures as well as the spider creature and another one ⁓ my god. Yeah, we'll get into that.
speaker-2: With the Mega Draco physics.
speaker-1: Buda bota bota bota rubbera woah!
speaker-0: it's so so she was ⁓ what was her name? I didn't
speaker-2: Maria Mary? ⁓ you talk about the the
speaker-0: No. No. ⁓ actually I guess there was a couple of different ones. Lily Jana Velimuroff, no.
speaker-2: I think it'd be Liliana.
speaker-0: Maybe. I use Eastern European names. And yeah, Gulliona ⁓ Pelagati. Those were the two that they were using for the ⁓ god, I I can't do Italian names either. No, I just don't know fucking European
speaker-2: Julia Pelagati. ⁓ you're adding letters. You said Giuliana. ⁓ no you th you said Guliana.
speaker-0: No, I said Gully. Maybe I did. I don't know. Anyway. ⁓ let let's at least say, you know, the info about the movie before we so Return to Silent Hill, twenty twenty-six movie. ⁓ it is an hour and forty-six minutes long and it feels like six. it is directed by Christoph Gans.
speaker-2: ⁓ yeah, true, true, true.
speaker-0: Who is the director of the first Silent Hill movie? It was written by him as well as Sandra Vallan and William Joseph Schneider. The film stars, well, sorry, the alleged film stars Jeremy Irvine and Hannah Emily Anderson. ⁓ Hanna plays about six different versions of herself. There's some. I mean those are really the the the two main characters. There's some side act ⁓ side characters as well, both ⁓ most of them have pretty small roles, ⁓ so they're not even really worth mentioning. ⁓ like you said, they're all pretty much no names ⁓ in the space. But apparent apparently my wife did recognize Jeremy from something, I don't know what. But I remember she was like, ⁓ yeah, I know him. so the maybe.
speaker-2: Mamma Mia.
speaker-0: ⁓ so the film ⁓ is currently sitting at a four out of ten on IMDB. ⁓ it is a eighteen on the tomato meter on Rotten Tomatoes and a 28% on the ⁓ popcorn meter. On letterboxed, it is currently sitting at a 1.4 out of five. So
speaker-2: choked on that because he did not expect it to be so high if it might be.
speaker-0: ⁓ no, I I kinda had a throat bubble. so yeah, needless to say, it was not received well. so yeah, b basically My issues really started with it in the beginning. ⁓ so I mean we'll just give a brief overview of what the movie even is. James is an is an autist, I mean an artist. Probably both. who is driving through the mountains in what is assumed to be Massachusetts because of the fact that his license plate is Massachusetts. Except the mountains that he's driving through at first look more like New Hampshire and then in the meat cute between him and Mary, ⁓ when he almost fucking runs her over and runs over her luggage. ⁓ they have clearly teleported to the Swiss fucking Alps because those mountains do not exist in Massachusetts and they do not exist in New Hampshire or Vermont.
speaker-2: And also Silent Hills in neither of those states if I'm remembering correctly.
speaker-0: Yeah, I believe it's supposed to be in West Virginia. Uh-huh. ⁓ 'cause like even in the first movie. ⁓ they talk about or I I think in there it's West Virginia or Pennsylvania. And the the lore within the movie is that the reason that the ash is everywhere is because the the coal mine. It's it's supposedly like based on like the coal mine that's like forever burning in the mountains. Yeah. ⁓ and that's why there's the ash everywhere. ⁓ and so that was supposed to be the disaster it was based on. ⁓ but I think in the game it's canonically snow, correct?
speaker-2: I don't
speaker-0: I don't yeah, I don't remember either. ⁓ but they're going with the fire aesthetic again. ⁓ it's ash. ⁓
speaker-2: ⁓ did they? Could you c are you sure? They didn't fucking show so much fire in this movie. I saw it way like it was probably because I kept seeing it in every fucking siren part and there was a lot of siren parts in this movie.
speaker-0: Mo most of the fire was at the end. Yeah, the ⁓ the siren parts or but it was i i it was showing in flashbacks or flash forwards.
speaker-2: I n ⁓ my god, I can't even fucking tell the chronological structure of this fucking movie.
speaker-0: Yeah, it's really not star shield well. ⁓
speaker-2: I hated I hated this movie so much.
speaker-0: Yeah, so they meet and then it f fast forwards to when he's in a bar and then he gets the letter from Mary. ⁓ right? Is it Mary? Yeah.
speaker-2: Yeah, h he goes home shit faced and he wakes up and he finds the letter on the f
speaker-0: Or after trying to drink the empty vodka bottle that he should have been able to tell was empty by picking it up. Yep. and he drives back to fucking Silent Hill and there's this random fucking therapist that he's being called by constantly and it it's i that her role doesn't make sense in the grand scheme of things because it's
speaker-2: None them do. None of the extras do it at all. Except like literally only f one Not even the cult dude, just the guy under the bridge.
speaker-0: Just the cult. Just the cult members. Yeah, yeah. so he makes his way back to Silent Hill and then Corsi fucking ⁓ what happened here? Something happened and then alternative Mary is talking to him, like, ⁓ if we can't find Mary we can leave together.
speaker-2: Can we just I I need to pump the brakes a little bit again. The fact that he can both receive and make fucking phone calls while he's in Silent Hill is canonically inaccurate to the entire rest of the other fucking two movies.
speaker-0: What's
speaker-2: To the games, yes, that's also true. It makes no fucking sense.
speaker-0: Yeah, I thought that too. 'Cause he's like the fucking sirens go off or whatever and then the the fucking therapist calls again and he's just he answers it like
speaker-2: 'Cause Sean Bean couldn't touch couldn't get in to touch with his wife when she was in Silent Hill. Mm-hmm. It was all static and broken up and choppy. Like
speaker-0: ⁓ I get it. It's it's because it's twenty years later they got better cell service.
speaker-2: ⁓ yes, that's right. They would have installed the five G towers inside of the city that's or the town that's fucking
speaker-0: Why there were biohazard stickers all over the the the wall because of the COVID from the 5G. That makes sense.
speaker-2: And all the all the cancer from the Bluetooth. Yep.
speaker-0: Mm-hmm. That's why the the armless people were spewing the black shit out.
speaker-2: Yeah they're they're fitting their cancer.
speaker-0: Yeah. Alright, so yeah, then basically it just turns into a runaround trying to find Mary and then it at some point there's just an intuition that she's in the hospital. ⁓ okay, and then it goes from there. And then he comes up and he finds their old apartment after being chased by these fucking bugs with human like faces, which was
speaker-2: ⁓ my god, those things are fucking weird as fuck. They were like scarem
speaker-0: Yeah, yeah. They're they were weird. But and the ⁓ god the CG it was just
speaker-2: So bad in this really bad
speaker-0: ⁓ but he gets into the apartment and then finds a dude in his apartment in the bathroom f Yeah, and he is literally the worst of all of the extra characters in this because I don't know if he has ever heard an American accent before, but you can tell that he is either Irish or Welsh.
speaker-2: throwing up. ⁓ Eddie?
speaker-0: because
speaker-2: Well his name is Pierce Egan.
speaker-0: Yeah. ⁓ he doesn't really have much on his ⁓ IMTB. He does, but doesn't really know like actor view. ⁓ so I I d I'm not sure if he's Welsh or Irish, but you could tell that accent was really slipping through. so it was very it w it's another one of those like we talked about in Doom where ⁓ what's her name? The the doctor sister person, the actor, I can't remember her fucking name. ⁓ Rosemond Pike and ⁓ Carl Urban are both English actors and their siblings in the movie, and yet they're both with American accents in the movie. Just fucking use your regular accent at that point.
speaker-2: And why?
speaker-0: That still bothers me. Anyway, ⁓ so you have these two UK plus adjacent possibly ⁓ actors with mediocre and piss poor American accents talking to each other in a scene. And that alone was like uncanny valley enough where it was like tripping something in my brain where I'm like, this is wrong. That this is not right. This is like just just the conversation. Pierce needs a better fucking ⁓ vocal coach because boy, that was rough. ⁓ and his character is fucking useless. Like he just gives a little bit of exposition that is stuff that's already inferred if you pay the fuck attention to one, the Angela character, what she says, and two, if you look at the environment, and then he just gets mad that he calls him an asshole, kicks him and punches him like a girl, and runs away when fucking pi ⁓ pyramid head shows up. I almost said pinhead, when pyramid head shows up. And even then, because I was reading something about this, apparently the reveal of Pyramid Head in the game is a lot more ominous and threatening than what we got in the movie.
speaker-2: ⁓ no doubt. I'm I'm not even gonna question that. Do you think he has the same vocal coach as Channing Tatum for Deadpool and Wolf?
speaker-0: Chanting Tater Tots, maybe. Yeah. ⁓ but because in in the game, he's on the other side of those bars, but he's stationary and doesn't move unless you approach the bars. But here he's just already aware of where James and Eddie are and are coming towards him. Or is coming towards them. And like there's no like creepy suspense to that or anything. Because
speaker-2: Panning trade ⁓ yes.
speaker-0: He's dragging his fucking sword and you can hear him coming. So stupid. Yeah.
speaker-2: So dumb. Definitely want to use him in a battle sometimes.
speaker-0: Pyramid Head. Yeah. Yeah, we could definitely do that. yeah, I mean I I mean there's a bunch of flashbacks that explain why Mary is fucked up. I mean there's the fucking her dad was like this religious cult leader essentially and had been poisoning her since she was a child.
speaker-2: ⁓ so every other fucking main pro ⁓ antagonist in the series so far?
speaker-0: Yeah. ⁓ but whatever the poison was would cause her to just start bleeding everywhere and then all the other cult members would start like wiping the blood off of her and licking it almost orgasmically. It was fucking weird.
speaker-2: Yeah, that that shit was fucking uncomfortable.
speaker-0: Yeah, but like the only time there's really any pyramid head action in this is directly after.
speaker-2: Well, when he fights the spider lady.
speaker-0: Yeah, because as James is running from the from Pyramid Head, who's trying to break through the bars, ⁓ he comes across a what looks like a corpse laying there that looks like Mary, who then turns into a s fucking spider woman with insane jiggle physics. Yeah, kinda. and like like legitimately severe jiggle physics. It runs around
speaker-2: Spider Mannequin.
speaker-0: Her titties are fucking jiggling. And then when Yeah, when Pyramid Head like pi like s picks her up and slams her on the table in the apartment and he starts ⁓ pounding her with his fists. I wanna be clear. which ⁓ which somehow kills the spider creature, that ass be jiggling.
speaker-2: Back.
speaker-1: Ami p...
speaker-0: I think Christoph Gons has a fucking fetish and we saw it on the screen. Yeah. He likes ⁓ women with jiggle physics to be pounded on a table. it's so weird. I I don't know. It is it's just it doesn't make sense. There's just so much bad CG. There's there's a fucking there's a scene somewhere in between where I think it's before ⁓ no.
speaker-2: ⁓ no doubt.
speaker-0: I don't I can't remember where it is. I think it's I think it's after that, like after he wakes up in the morning after the Reaper. Silent Hill goes back to quote unquote normal. ⁓ that he's running from the apartments to go to another building. I don't even remember which one. And there's like a five second scene that I feel like they forgot to shoot, and so they did the entire thing in CG and you can fucking tell James is CG, the environment is CG, all of the the it almost looks like that five-second scene of him running like down some steps like stone steps and then across like a street was done by a completely different studio because the ash looked different the fogginess looked different the the the the the color pattern Was slightly different than the rest of the shots, and it was very noticeably CG. It did not look organic, and I I had to like shake my head and like, wait, what the fuck did I just see? ⁓ response. but anyway, after kind of sort of I mean, I think James figures it out. The audience doesn't, finally finding Mary, and she looks like fucking Vecna with four arms. Legitimately looks like Vecna.
speaker-2: I just I I'm glad we finally got to her. Because when she grabs him. What the fuck happened? What the fuck happened? What the fuck happened?
speaker-0: And throat fox him. Yeah, why was he just in the hospital and
speaker-2: Like she was turning him into a reverse meat puppet, and then he is out of Silent Hill. What the fuck?
speaker-0: No, he wasn't out of silent hill.
speaker-2: He was out of the bad part of Silent Hill. Safe with people. What the fuck?
speaker-0: Happened. Yeah, like pre-disaster Silent Hill. Also, c can we talk about the fact that the hospital in that town of like I assume 500 people, maybe a thousand?
speaker-2: Like
speaker-0: was fucking massive. That was like a 13 or 14 story hospital building that would be f like perfectly fit in like Manhattan. And yet it's in this tiny little village in the fucking mountains. What the fuck? Sorry. Little weird tangent that bothered me. ⁓ yeah, he's just in the fucking hospital because he I don't know. I think they were trying to say that he had like a ⁓ a mental freakout or was in a like they made it almost seem like i all of this was a dream my wife even said that exactly she goes ⁓ so this was a dream all that was a dream so it was pointless okay ⁓ but it was it like that was a dream within a f a the dream maybe I don't know it's not properly fucking explained doesn't make sense
speaker-2: Because it it couldn't be a dream because the beginning happens again. And it's like he knows what's gonna happen. So yeah. Was it premonition? Is he stuck in a time loop because that's what Silent Hill does? Like, there is nothing. This movie has answers for zero questions and it has dozens of fucking questions.
speaker-0: Yeah. Yeah, and it seems like everything it tries to explain, it just raises more questions. Because like there's so they fucking do the thing where she has two middle names for some reason. and because Hannah Emily Anderson plays what three different versions of herself, plus there's another actress playing a younger version of her, ⁓ Evie Templeton.
speaker-1: True.
speaker-2: She played four people total. Mary Crane, Angela, Maria and Moth Mary.
speaker-0: Yes. but I mean Moth Mary was just the Silent Hill version of Mary. yeah, Vecna essentially. Vecna with four arms. And yeah, there's that's another thing too. There's such a heavy fucking symbolism on the moths. Like is that present in the the games?
speaker-2: Or Vecna. Not the one that I played. So maybe.
speaker-0: We we have a surprise interruption guest. ⁓ hello. Hello. Just need my husband to pop my back. He'll be back. Okay. And he has returned. And the moves suck, by the way.
speaker-2: Thank you. I agree.
speaker-0: He said, Thank you, I agree.
speaker-1: Yeah.
speaker-2: In regards to your question. Yes, that was a very small cameo. In regards to your question, ⁓ moths and butterflies serves as put as potent symbols of death, decay, transformation, and guilt. They frequently appear in Silent Hill 2, where they represent Mary's disease and Maria's nature, contrasting with white butterflies that symbolize Mary's soul.
speaker-0: ⁓ okay. Yeah, 'cause I noticed there was a lot of like in the the flashback scenes, there is always like butterflies flying around and then, you know, in fucked up Silent Hill and non well, less fucked up Silent Hill, there was a lot of moths as well. so I I just didn't know if there was if that was accurate ⁓ the game. ⁓ and it obviously it does make sense. Transformation and death and all that stuff. But it's just it's so hand fisted. It's just it's it's too much, to be honest. Seems like half the budget went to just CGI moths.
speaker-2: This movie spent too much time in not making any sense. Yeah. That nothing made sense. Like there was no organization. There was no structure. I I've never seen tenant, but I know the one thing that I've heard about that more than anything is how it's all over the place. And I feel like this movie was worse.
speaker-0: Yeah. Yeah, it's a ⁓ Tenet is Nolan's attempt at a time travel movie or something, I don't know. ⁓ so s surprisingly, ⁓ this movie made money? ⁓ yeah, I know.
speaker-2: How ⁓
speaker-0: it made over three point two million in its opening weekend. its production budget was twenty-three million and it ⁓ worldwide box office was thirty-three and a half million. So it didn't make it only made ten million. But I don't know if the production budget also includes marketing. ⁓ because if it doesn't, then there's a good chance it may have broke. even depending on how much they spent on budgeting or ⁓ marketing. Or like I said, if it's at if that's included, I'm not sure.
speaker-2: I just hope they don't do this again.
speaker-0: Yeah, yeah, apparently like ⁓ world like with all releases, theatrical and all that stuff, it was close to forty eight million worldwide. at least that's according to the box office mojo. I'm getting two different numbers, so I'm not sure which is which. But yeah, it wasn't like a big blockbuster making a hundred million dollars or anything. But
speaker-2: No. Thanks. Fuck if that happened I would probably have to s just be done with movies.
speaker-0: Yeah. ⁓ my question is, and 'cause you're slightly more familiar, what is Maria's point? Like what is the reason for her character's existence?
speaker-2: I never played the second game. I played Silent Hill one. Okay. So I d I don't maybe she's supposed to be like the ⁓ the foil.
speaker-0: Mary the Mary that he wanted.
speaker-2: O or maybe she's just supposed to be the representation of his regret. It could be maybe the youthful version of her that once existed sick, you know. The y i it's literally just one of the bazillion fucking questions that are the result of this movie. Not one answer. Not one.
speaker-0: Yeah, I guess.
speaker-2: Answer is given by the end of this movie. Even the fucking rid and you talk about CG scenes. I'm going straight to the end real quick. That CG scene at the end of this movie pissed me off beyond all comprehension. ⁓ the underwater scene.
speaker-0: Which one? Yeah. Yeah, because it the the biggest thing that bothered me about that was he so they were going for a first person perspective from James's view while they're in the car underwater.
speaker-2: Which they did that too many times in this movie, by the way.
speaker-0: Yeah, that's true. They he looked at himself in the rear view mirror and then looks down at the dash and steering wheel, but his face does not move in the reflection, which was annoying. I know the reason why they included them the the mirror ⁓ shots is because that's something that ⁓ is in the games. but it definitely feels out of place because of how they handled it. And I also really get the vibe that they were trying to make James kind of like Sam Winchester with like the hair and the just an actor that could play him in like a reboot of the show or something. And just has the vibe of it, but like I don't know. It like especially if you look at the images on IMDB, the the fourth image that shows up, like it looks like he's a knockoff Sam Winchester. And it's kind of fucking annoying. ⁓ I did not click that.
speaker-2: Well, annoying is what I would use Annoying is what I would use to describe my feelings about this entire fucking move.
speaker-0: Yeah, 'cause like even the narration is just It sounds like he's trying to be super deep and philosophical, and he kinda talks like this the entire time. But then he doesn't talk like that throughout the rest of the fucking film. It's so disjointed. Thank you for that.
speaker-2: Yeah, sorry about the flashbang. I couldn't agree more, honestly. It's just everything feels disconnected. Everything feels like out of place. Everything feels out of order. It feels like they time hop at least a dozen times in the fucking movie, and it's just fucking it's terrible. It's terrible. Makes no sense.
speaker-0: Yeah it made so there's there's three writers credited, at least. Yeah, there's three writers credited. And I feel like all of them were working independently and they weren't like comparing notes. Because it feels like one writer wrote dialogue, one writer was doing like here's how the main structure of the story is gonna go and then another writer was like, here's how we're gonna set up flashbacks and stuff and how we're gonna structure the film and none of them were talking to each other. I mean then gave it to an editor and said here edit this for me and then walked away.
speaker-2: Yeah. They all shot three different movies and they said blend it together.
speaker-0: Yeah, like it just it doesn't feel properly connected. Every time it goes from unfucked up Silent Hill to fucked up Silent Hill, it's like we're watching two different movies because there's really no direct connection between like 'cause like those insect things, they don't show up again after the first like siren event.
speaker-2: Yeah, I noticed that too.
speaker-0: And then you you start seeing more of the heavy moth things. And then they only come across the nurses on one floor of the hospital. Yet it feels like forty minutes of the film takes place in the hospital. the only thing that is consistently reoccurring are the armless creatures. But even then it's only a threat twice, first when he first encounters it. They're not even really a fucking threat when he's running away from them to get to the the apartment. And then when him and Maria are basically hiding behind the truck from one when they're on their way to the hospital. Like that's the only time they were even remotely a threat. And I mean he took out one by throwing a fucking pipe at its head and it fell down.
speaker-2: I mean video game logic that tends to reason, but still.
speaker-0: Yeah, but like he hit it in the head with a pipe once and then it scurries under a man ⁓ under the truck into a manhole and then is never seen again.
speaker-2: We never see any reference to that underground chin ever again either. Like there's no there's no sewer reference, no nothing. Where?
speaker-0: Yeah there was. He goes through the sewers. shit, where does he go through the sewers? He does go down into the sewers at one point, briefly. ⁓ but it was like a very short scene. It was just like he had to go through there to traverse to the next area and then that was it. And then like I don't no, you know what it was? It was ⁓ when he was following it during the flashback scene when he goes down and finds what the cult is doing.
speaker-2: I must have must have done. ⁓ okay. So yeah, nothing nothing in relation to current shit.
speaker-0: Nope. Nope. That's the only time he goes down into a sewer is ⁓ pre-fucked up Silent Hill. Yeah. Yeah. ⁓ because I was gonna say I vaguely remember that. Also, so my wife has an iPhone. James has an iPhone. I said an iPhone flashlight is not that fucking bright. It seems like he's using one of those like tactical lights you can buy on eBay for your
speaker-2: Yeah, so then my point stand. Yeah.
speaker-0: That was attached to the back of his fucking phone. And yet she turns on her flashlight and points it behind us in the living room. And it is nowhere near as bright or directionalized as what's on the iPhone. So it's v it did make me happy when his battery died. And it was also funny when he was like, ⁓ the battery's dead. Let me try whacking my phone in my hand to try and that sounded wrong wrong. Let me try hitting my phone on my hand to try and get the battery to come back. Like, what are you gonna fucking what do you know how phones work?
speaker-2: I know how flashlights work and this phone is really that a plastic.
speaker-0: Yes, it's a ⁓ flashlight from nineteen eighty-four where you have to shake it ⁓ and it'll recharge. It's like one of those little shake me and I recharge flashlights. Yeah, that's definitely how it works. ⁓ yeah, Betty's the same type of person that believed in the whole ⁓ did you get your phone iPhone wet? Just throw it in the microwave. Fucking moron. He is so stupid. Yes. His character is so fucking stupid. He does the stupidest shit.
speaker-2: He was. Well, stupid is a stupid dust, sir. Stupid is a stupid does.
speaker-0: Yeah. I don't is there even anything else to talk about this fucking god awful piece of shit? This alleged film. I mean honestly, yeah.
speaker-2: We've given it too too much time. I think the best use of this time was when you took a break to crack your wife's back.
speaker-0: Probably. Believe me, it cracked.
speaker-2: ⁓ I bet. ⁓ just like we're gonna crack the review rating point right now. ⁓ I'm not even gonna let you go first. I'm just gonna give this movie the solid ten that I was planning on giving it to begin with. ⁓ because nothing gets a zero really. No out of a hundred. yeah, no. ⁓ this movie sucked so bad, but it wasn't a zero suck. It was just a really bad one out of ten suck.
speaker-0: Yeah, I'll read Yeah, yeah, I'll I'll I'll read that 'cause it's ⁓ brief. ⁓ quote me. The spider creature that looked like Mary had Jiggle physics, and we all know Christoph Gons's fetters. ⁓ I would like to apologize for giving Silent Hill and Silent Hill Revelation two and a half and one star respectively, assuming revelation assuming revelation was absolute dog shit. Turns out worse was yet to come. I'm not changing those ratings, but my hate for them feels less justified. ⁓ and I gave it a whopping Half star on Letterboxd.
speaker-2: Which is what I just gave this basically.
speaker-0: Yes. ⁓ so the ⁓ score for this is ten out of a hundred.
speaker-2: Hooray! We agree.
speaker-0: Two plus two is four. Minus one that's three. Quick maths.
speaker-2: Quick commands, but Law of Averages, this movie is a one out of ⁓ one out of ten or ten out of a hundred. And boy ⁓ boy would we not recommend it ever.
speaker-0: No ever if yeah, if you wanna see a ⁓ new or if you wanna experience a new Silent Hill property that ⁓ follows the beats of Silent Hill 2, just fucking play the remake of Silent Hill 2. Yeah. You'll just get so much more enjoyment out of it. Yep, yep.
speaker-2: Yeah. Yep. Or any of the silent home games really. Especially if you're into that shit.
speaker-0: Mm-hmm.
speaker-2: ⁓ alright, well this review is far too long and now gonna be over with. ⁓ next week I do think we are going to review the first good Resident Evil movie. ⁓ rumor has it anyways, I haven't seen it yet. Dean has and never had him come to me and say, Dude, you gotta see this movie. But he did in fact say, Dude, you gotta see this movie. So I think I have to see this movie.
speaker-0: movie. Is that something you're actually gonna be able to do this week? ⁓ gonna say we're off Monday. Yeah, yeah.
speaker-2: I'm gonna figure it the fuck out, sir. That's true. I will figure it the fuck out, sir.
speaker-0: Put it this way. the new Resident Evil is a I don't wanna spoil too much. I'm sure, you know, if you're familiar with the movie, ⁓ those listening, ⁓ you already know how it's being received. ⁓ but we ⁓ decided to buy one of the ⁓ popcorn merch things that came out ⁓ with the movie. ⁓ AMC Theatres was selling the ⁓ the organ donor yeah the first yeah the first aid bag as a popcorn bucket so it's basically a giant lunch box and we saw that and said okay yeah we should get that that's fucking cool ⁓ because it doubles as an actual lunch box so we bought that it's nice apparently people are trying to scout the one eBay for like 250 bucks we paid 24 for it
speaker-2: No I Yeah, well, I mean, come on. Scalping on the internet twenty twenty six it's kinda like they go fucking hand in hand.
speaker-0: Yeah, I know. Pokemon cards, Ram, Pokemon cards.
speaker-2: Yeah. Fucking yeah. ⁓ yeah. let's not let's not fall down that rabbit hole right now. ⁓ all right, before we cut it out, ⁓ have you any parting words? Huh. Yeah. Alright. Arbiter, come on now. Close the show.
speaker-0: Fucking steam frames. Jiggophysics.
speaker-1: Thank you all so much for checking out another episode of Console Combat. It is you, our loyal listeners, who keep us thriving and surviving. And we would love it if you would follow us on all of our social medias. On Instagram and TikTok, it's at Console Combat Podcast. On Mastodon, our handle is consolecombatpodcast at mastodon.social. And on Blue Sky, you can find us by searching for at consolecombatpodcast.bsky.social. Your support is all the love we could ever hope for. And speaking of support, please support all of the shows on the Dynamite. Mike Podcast Network. Listen Tuesdays for Dynamic Duel Marvel vs. DC with Johnny and Joe. Wednesdays for Max Destruction with Scotty and Gilly, bringing you all the action, and Thursdays are for Senjoe World with Zach, bringing you all the anime and manga you can handle. Finally, leaving us a five-star rating and review wherever you're hearing this will help us continue to grow and bring you these wonderful and creative fights every week. So our fate and future depends on you. Back to you guys.
speaker-2: And remember, if you have to go to the hills, make sure they're silent.
speaker-0: God. and remember, I want to silent kill myself after this.
speaker-2: Harakiri?
speaker-0: That was a ⁓ it's actually the top or most popular review for the film on Letterboxd by user Brandon.
speaker-2: well.
speaker-0: Yep.
speaker-2: And on that note later nerds. Fucking hate you. All episode I've done it. You're like, no, stop it. Fuck you.
speaker-1: Silent L
speaker-0: Yeah.
speaker-1: Silent Hill!
speaker-2: Douchebag. Yeah.
speaker-1: To Console Combat, your final destination for weekly video game and tech news, video game adaptation reviews, and stat-based character battles. I am the Arbiter, the artificial being responsible for this show. And now, allow me to introduce players one and two, John and Dean.
speaker-2: Hello everyone, welcome to another episode of Console Combat. I am as always one of your hosts, John, and with me is the HIL to my silent Dean.
speaker-0: ⁓ god, shut up.
speaker-2: ⁓ god, this is gonna be rough. forewarning, up close, up front, personal, in the beginning, what have you?
speaker-1: Mm-hmm.
speaker-0: In the beginning, in the minining, in the beginning, in the beginning, in the mingining.
speaker-2: We are not going to be going crazy talking about this thing that was described as a film. We're gonna talk about it. But
speaker-0: Yes, this alleged film.
speaker-2: This this episode is gonna be very news heavy, I think. And even then it's not gonna be that heavy. So ⁓ just bear with us this go round. ⁓ but speaking of this go round, ⁓ Arbiter help.
speaker-0: Even then.
speaker-1: Alright, combatants, before this week's main event, John and Dean must enter the drop zone.
speaker-2: Alright Dean. ⁓ we have a new month. It's games time. Games o'clock.
speaker-0: Damn, my watch battery died. I didn't know.
speaker-2: Game October. so I'm gonna give you guys what's today. Today is the fifth of release day, so we're I'm gonna give you guys all the way through October twelfth. Can't believe it's gonna be that that far into the month already.
speaker-0: Yeah, no kidding.
speaker-2: But let me get you guys through it. Starting on October 1st, ⁓ these are all obviously out, but I'm just gonna tell you because I didn't tell you about them last week. End of Abyss on the PS5, the Xbox, and the PC. Dynasty Warriors 3, the complete edition remastered on the PS5, the Switch 2, the Xbox, and the PC. Ghosts of Yotai, Most Wanted, DLC on the PS5, and Octopath Traveler 1 and 2 on the Switch 2. On the second, Ace Combat 8, Wings of Thieve on the PS5, the Xbox, and the PC. On the fifth, Aeon or Ion, A-I-O-N, one word, on the PC. On the sixth, Disney Epic Mickey Rebrushed on the Switch 2, Skars of War E-Day on the Xbox and the PC. And Star Wars Galactic Racer on the PS5, the Xbox, and the PC. That's a I think that's actually a pretty good looking game if I remember correctly.
speaker-0: Yeah I'm definitely curious about that one. Yeah.
speaker-2: I was always a fan of episode one racer and that one gave me vibes. So ⁓ maybe maybe perhaps ⁓ something to talk about soon. on the eighth, Clive Barker's Hellraiser Revival on the PS5, the Xbox, and the PC. I remember talking about that one. I am interested for show. Forever Ago on the PS5, the Xbox, the Switch 2, and the PC. Kingdom Hearts Collection 1 through 3 on the PS5, Switch 2, and Xbox. And Order of the Sinking Star on the Switch 2 and the PC. And finally on the 9th, Dragon's Dogma 2, Dark Arisen on the Switch 2. And ⁓ yeah, so that's that for October through October 12th for Game Drop. There's a good couple of interesting ones on here coming out soon after that. But ⁓ that's the tease you're gonna get. Game Pass?
speaker-0: Game Pass. Alright, so this is the list according to purexbox.com. Blame them, not me. October 2nd, we will have keeper or had ⁓ for series XS, PC, and cloud on the premium tier. the rest of these will all be for series XS, PC, and cloud for ultimate and PC. Except for one and I will mention that. October 6th, Gears of War E-Day. October 8th, Echo Weaver and Neon Abyss 2. October 13th, Deep Dish Dungeon and Valor Mortis. Ooh, I like Deep Dish. Yes. ⁓ October 15th, Beyond the Stars. That is a PC release only. ⁓ as well as Chained Beasts. ⁓ October 27th, the Seance of Blake Manor. And October twenty ninth, terrible lizards. Must be pretty terrible.
speaker-2: That last one must be about our government.
speaker-0: No, it's just Zuckerberg and his family. ⁓ all right, so moving on to the Epic Game Store free games. ⁓ also Steam did do their or they started their autumn sale, so definitely check that out for some ⁓ deep discounts. the two free games currently for free redemption on Epic are Buried Stars and the System Shock 2 25th Anniversary Remaster. Both of those will be available from October 8th or until October 8th at 11 a.m. Following those, we have Out of Sight, which is an interesting concept. ⁓ you play as a girl named Sophie who is blind, and you see through the perspective of her teddy bear's eyes. It is a horror puzzle game, ⁓ which is funny because it's actually rated E10. The other free game is Terrascape, which is a game. ⁓ Or you can build ⁓ kingdoms and stuff on floating islands. ⁓ so think like manor lords, but it's on like a floating island type deal. both of those are going to be free from October 8th until the 15th. Moving on to the newsy news. ⁓ apparently there has been another exploit for the PlayStation 5. Boy, ever since Sony has just Yeah, ever since Sony has decided they're not gonna make discs anymore, ⁓ the console modding community has said hold my G Fuel and has gone to fucking work. So the this new exploit is the relapse exploit, which which works for any PS5 up to version thirteen point six, which was a ⁓ the update from July.
speaker-2: Let's go boys. Let's go.
speaker-0: So now jailbreaking is possible for any PS5 that was updated before the mid-September release of version 14. ⁓ basically it's another one of the browser exploits. ⁓ that's how you deliver the package. And you can do homebrew apps, emulators, 60 fps mods for legacy PS4 games like Bloodborne. they're also working on the full implementation for Linux. So ⁓ 'cause that is still locked onto the firmware seven point six one.
speaker-2: All right, so to quote the kids, we so bad
speaker-0: We're so back. It's so over. It we're so back.
speaker-2: They're so cooked, y'all. The so cook chat.
speaker-0: Yes. ⁓ so yeah, if you have a PS5 that you didn't turn on for a while, ⁓ at least ⁓ before mid-September, ⁓ you may still have the firmware version where you could do that if you wanted to. ⁓ if you do decide to turn the console on, ⁓ maybe turn your router off first so it doesn't automatically connect and update. ⁓ so you can turn off the Wi-Fi before going in and booting it up. ⁓ Mojang has finally revealed their newest Minecraft dimension after 14 years. ⁓ it is called the Sift. So if you are looking for a fresh update of Minecraft that is not just mods, new dimension is coming soon. when's it released? ⁓ will be coming in twenty twenty seven. For Java and Bedrock Edition. another cool one that's a bit of a throwback, even more of a throwback, ⁓ Lego Racers. It has returned. It is completely free to play via your browser, thanks to a group of fans who has remastered it after decompiling the game. ⁓ it has been 27 years. The game came out in 99. So if that's something you're ⁓ nostalgic for or would like to try out. It's definitely a fun game. it is on the website steponit.online. Actually open that in the new tab because I want to wow, that is crazy. It literally just boots into the game. Wow, okay. God, it's incredible what we could do with technology nowadays. ⁓ the smaller ⁓ little things. ⁓ apparently Metro 2033 and Last Light Redux will be getting next generation updates ⁓ this month. So if you're looking for a upgraded version of the older metro games, you will now be getting a Metro re-redux. So keep an eye out for that. And some kind of still developing Halo news. ⁓ if you're in the nerdy you know, deep in Halo lore community like me, ⁓ you may have heard of Hidden Experia. He is a he talks a lot about lore stuff, but lately he's been talking a lot about what's been going on behind the scenes, ⁓ along with having contacts ⁓ that are vetted from the the the contacts that are contacting him are vetted as confirmed previous 343/slash Halo Studios employees that were laid off or whatever. ⁓ so their credentials are valid and they are. Giving him information and insights into what happened during the Halo Infinite development, as well as what the original plans were and what the original plans for the campaign DLC for Halo Infinite was supposed to be as well. ⁓ he has a couple his two newest videos as of recording now. hadn't go really deep into that, a bunch of the what-ifs and what could have beens. ⁓ a lot of it's very interesting. So if that's something you're interested in checking out, definitely go check out his videos on that. yeah he is able to explain it a lot better than I could in a short time frame in a new segment. So definitely check his stuff out if you're interested in ⁓ that. ⁓ that was pretty much everything I had. ⁓ was there some shouf that you wanted to yap about?
speaker-2: Yeah of course I do. You know. You know how it'd be. ⁓ let me see. Let me see what I got in the ⁓ well let me see what I got in the f portfolio ⁓ that is your Instagram. Dump it all. I dump everything. Everything. I dump it all. It's all there. All there. ⁓ dump it in the trash.
speaker-0: We do be like that sometimes. The one I never checked. My master campaign evolved is already on sale on the Steam ⁓ Autumn sale. 'Cause no one wants it. It's not even that much on sale, it's just ten bucks off.
speaker-2: Yeah, well, yeah. Discounts, discounts, discounts.
speaker-0: I'm not paying forty dollars for a game I've played five hundred times with a new skin. And worse. It's worse.
speaker-2: Well, all right, let me I I guess this can be considered good news. ⁓ a Pennsylvania senator named John Cain has come out in support of
speaker-0: ⁓ yeah.
speaker-2: ⁓ until ⁓ sorry, he has joined the desire to help out with the Protect Our Games Act, ⁓ which is a proposal that would require companies to give players notice and provide options if they enter access to a digital game or change its features. ⁓ that is his proposal.
speaker-0: You know, it's kind of funny because apparently the EU has just put out a proposed new law that's actually the exact opposite of all that. ⁓ I I wasn't really gonna get too much into it, ⁓ but if you're in the EU, definitely ⁓ I believe Ross Scott has a video talking about it. And I I believe ⁓ Charlie, Moist Critical, ⁓ Penguin Z Zero, ⁓ has a video discussing it as well if you wanted to dive more into that. ⁓ but it's basically the exact opposite. ⁓ shocking which is ironic as fuck for the EU. 'Cause they're usually like the g one to go to when it comes to consumer rights.
speaker-2: Come sh. Not na mão. Not na mão.
speaker-0: Apparently not. Anyways, continue.
speaker-2: let me see, do I have any any other not games that I've found before I go into the games that I found? It doesn't look like I was just talking to you well yeah, a little bit, but I was just telling showing you ⁓ modders are using Claude AI to blend games and some of it is ridiculous, but some of it's pretty fucking entertaining, I'm not gonna lie. it
speaker-0: Right. Yeah, he showed me s Marvel Spider Man with Call of Duty gun physics and stuff while still ⁓ thhipping around. Yep.
speaker-2: Looked like it was in it yeah, I was gonna say it was either Skyrim or Fallout of some kind.
speaker-0: It it was Skyrim, it was ⁓ it was one of the farms near Windows.
speaker-2: There there is Super Mario sixty four with a bunch of Doom characters and other characters. portal gun and COD zombies and I I just I'm here for it. I am it the ridiculousness is real and I'm kinda here for it. ⁓ if we're gonna use AI for anything, using it for stupid shit like this is top shelf for me.
speaker-0: Using the portal gun. I would prefer if they're running it off local AI models, but
speaker-2: Take what we can get. ⁓ all right, so a bunch of the I found a decent handful of games ⁓ that may or may not be shit, but you know. ⁓
speaker-0: Right, well t give me a title, we'll find out if the first one's mixed.
speaker-2: ⁓ it's probably gotta be. this one's called Dust Till Dawn. It's a Junji t a Junji Ito inspired cleaning sim where you're a maid in a Japanese village that gets strange once the sun goes down.
speaker-0: Zamaki. you know what? I kind of fuck with the vibe. I love that the developer is Mac and Cheese Games. That's awesome. It also has no user reviews, so ⁓ apparently they have a playtest ⁓ available if you're interested.
speaker-2: ⁓ it's coming to P C in twenty twenty seven, the S Playtest is available now, yeah, so
speaker-0: I'm just gonna add that to my wish list just so I can ⁓ remember that 'cause that definitely looks interesting.
speaker-2: ⁓ so I'll give the this is the G World Media Games Instagram description in their caption. you are the newest maid in a rural Japanese village that is far too quiet. Requests come in, you show up and you dust, mop, and squeegee the place back to something presentable. It's it is a power wash sim loop at heart and during daylight it is genuinely relaxing work. Money earns ⁓ money earned buys better tools, better tools open up new rooms. And locations across the village, the school and the market among them, poking around those spaces is how the story reaches you. Nobody sits you down and explains anything. You pick it up from what is lying around and the game's one piece of advice is to not stay out too late because some things are meant to stay hidden. So I do like that vibe quite.
speaker-0: Yeah, it's kinda like ⁓ the Power Wash Sim meets ⁓ what's the the new Silent Hill? Yeah, where it's in the in the Japanese village, you know, twisted type shit. Yeah. It's kinda like a mix of that type shit.
speaker-2: Requiem. type shit. Yeah. another gaming world media games game release or ish kind of thing. This one's called Killbreach. It's a roguelite first person shooter mixing Doom Eternal movement with black op zombies horde killing in a random alien facility.
speaker-0: movement. So you know, fast pace, don't stop moving.
speaker-2: Jumpy around ye all over the placey. I dig the vibe.
speaker-0: Yeah, it's not released yet, so
speaker-2: Nope. No release date yet, but it can be a wish list. ⁓ it's the dev is triple dev, so you know, keep an eye out for that one. ⁓ it's it's like Kingmakers, it's on the way. Okay.
speaker-0: Basically play the game minimum spec on what's nowadays considered a potato.
speaker-2: okay, well you were into the Junji Ito, so let's see how you feel about gay ⁓ sorry, ⁓ cop bastard. a boomer shooter where you play a dirty Osaka cop mowing down Yakuza with no perks and no upgrades.
speaker-0: Doing the whole VHS filter over everything. This is very unity coded. What the fuck? That guy just exploded.
speaker-2: I mean it looks terrible graphics wise, but it's it's supposed to be early nineties Osaka. Yeah.
speaker-0: I mean listen, I'm at the point now where I really just don't give a shit about how a game looks, as long as it plays well. Like, I do you know how much enjoyment I got out of Battle Bit? It's basically
speaker-2: Yeah. No.
speaker-0: Minecraft Battlefield. It's low poly characters, low poly guns, tang like the world and everything. It's low poly and everything, but it's very fun because it feels like Battlefield. I I just care about how it plays. So and this is definitely going for a specific vibe. So I'm not I'm not opposed to that. ⁓ apparently the demo is available. I'm gonna add that to my library as well. Okay.
speaker-2: Okay. ⁓ this is Mad Morph. He is the Instagram ⁓ nope. ⁓ that is the Instagram I'm pulling this one from. The game is called I Am Ripper. You are the detective trying to solve serial killers' crimes. You are also the victim in their final moments, and apparently you might also be the killer.
speaker-0: But that was the game title. Was it fucking heavy rain?
speaker-2: Shaw
speaker-0: ⁓ I bet he's gonna see the clown. I bet he's gonna see the clown. Such a shit fucking game. Ha ha ha ha ha ⁓
speaker-2: I mean this one looks interesting all the same.
speaker-0: It's ⁓ sorry, I gotta do this in character. I Am Ripper is a British thriller set in the brutally economic decline of the nineteen eighties.
speaker-2: Most impressive your cockney is accurate. Sorry.
speaker-0: I failed you, passed away. ⁓ It's definitely definitely a vibe.
speaker-2: Yeah, for sure, for sure. ⁓ speaking of games that are vibes, you're gonna really find this one to be a fucking vibe. ⁓ this being shared from the Petty Jew games. that's the Instagram profile that I'm pulling this one. ⁓ Skin Face is a gruesome horror thriller where you pick faces apart to build the perfect disguise.
speaker-0: No no.
speaker-2: You're a faceless hitman trying to gain entry to your target's apartment, so you attack strangers, peel off their facial features, and assemble a skin mask that'll win your target's trust.
speaker-0: So Hitman meets Texas Chainsaw.
speaker-2: Yeah. ⁓ my god. It's it's a game. It looks fucking weird. But ⁓ it it fucking looks original, man. It I it I can't I have to give it that. It looks original.
speaker-0: Yeah. Yeah, they have a demo. It's set for releasing Q four. So I'm gonna I'm gonna add that demo to my library too. See how that plays out.
speaker-2: Look at the I'm fucking I'm hitting the fucking ground random with this one. ⁓ Jesus Christ, it's a couple I wish listed this week. Jeez. Jeez. Alright, let's see if we can keep it going. ⁓ another Petty Jew games. This one is called the Head Cutter. It is a sci-fi spaghetti western first person shooter with brutal combat, destructible environments, and a whole lot of gore. You step into the boots of Jimmy Lucky O'Neal, a bounty hunter with a passion for guns, whiskey, and retro tech. Along tide alongside Z, a man out for revenge after losing his family and half his limbs.
speaker-0: This is very gory and I love the destructible environments.
speaker-2: It's like it's like Doom meets Duke Nukem meets like Red Dead Revolver. So fucking ridiculous.
speaker-0: Yeah. Yeah, like one three fifty seven round to the face and they just explode.
speaker-2: ⁓ but like over the top like that is just amazing.
speaker-0: You can also use the environment to ⁓ kill your enemies. I saw him shoot a chandelier and it dropped down on that. Yeah, this is this definitely looks interesting. I'd be interested to check this one out.
speaker-2: Amazing. Amazing. Yeah. Release dates to be announced, unfortunately, and nothing out just yet, but ⁓ it you know, that looks good.
speaker-0: Wait a minute. Is the health bar the cigarette?
speaker-2: That would be fantastic.
speaker-0: ⁓ my god, the cigarette he's smoking is the health bar.
speaker-2: That's awesome.
speaker-1: Ha ha ha ha.
speaker-0: Little things like that.
speaker-2: Fantastic. Alright, it's top tier. Top tier now. Yep. this one is thank you ⁓ indie game Joe for the Instagram that I'm pulling this one from. It's called the game is called Figure Me Out. You can wish list it now. It's a friend slot game. This indie developer is making a game where you eliminate other players by typing the number on their forehead.
speaker-0: Game of the year.
speaker-2: And you can use different things like binoculars and a camera. And I it's it's it's fucking hilarious. It's original, it's creative, ⁓ and I I it's very clever. I I gotta say it's very unique in that I don't think I've ever heard of anything like this. It's like a nineteen nineties type of game except with multiplayer aspects.
speaker-0: Yeah. I wonder if you could just cheat it and fucking ⁓ no you can't. You can't cover your number.
speaker-2: Yeah, no but it it actually prevents you from doing stuff like that. It's it's Yeah, yeah.
speaker-0: It adds a kill timer. I was gonna say, what if you just look down the entire time? Nope. Interesting. I I would be down to try this. This does look fun. I mean it's definitely gimmicky. This is something I'd play.
speaker-2: Of course, it's fucking friend slap as fuck, but it's still it's still fun looking. ⁓
speaker-0: Yeah. ⁓ Good thing I'm one of the few people in in today's day and age with a gaming PC that still has a fucking number pad on my keyboard.
speaker-2: I also am lucky. Yep.
speaker-0: Yeah. You're dead. You're dead.
speaker-2: Yep. Alright, last one from me, this one's from Game Rant official Instagram. Milo, a so a solo developed co-op first person shooter from Rat Scream Games, wants to recreate the classic Call of Duty Zombies experience, turning away the fantasy and sci-fi elements of recent COD Zombies modes in favor of straightforward horde survival.
speaker-0: I think you've mentioned this before because I already have this wish listed.
speaker-2: I don't think I did. Milo doesn't ring a bell at all.
speaker-0: I've seen it somewhere then, and I was interested in it enough to add it to my wish list.
speaker-2: All early access comes out on the twenty ninth of this month, everybody. ⁓ if you like old Call of Duty zombies like I do, please get on the ⁓ wish list. Let's try this game out, shall we?
speaker-0: Let's get some new fucking Ocdaron totin.
speaker-2: Hell yeah, brother. Hell yeah, brother.
speaker-0: If it doesn't play one one five as an Easter egg, I'll be upset he spaghetti. They wouldn't be able to for copyright reasons.
speaker-2: Yeah, obviously. Obviously, but doesn't change anything.
speaker-0: Ooh, the car ninety eight. I'm so
speaker-1: Uuuuh, ¿quién es...?
speaker-2: Alright, well the news is out of the way. and we have we have to do this. We have to do it we have to do this. You're right. I know, I know, I know. Arbiter, please.
speaker-0: This is default, John.
speaker-1: Now, let's get Oddball October going! Just like last October, this month will be devoted strictly to side questing. And since we want you all to stay, we figured we would get this one out of the way early. So, this week, the guys, regretfully, are discussing Return to Silent Hill. And, well, I personally can't wait to never visit again. Unless, that is, we decide to discuss the actual games. Until then, since John chose this, boo this man!
speaker-2: Yeah, I've I've earned it. I've earned it.
speaker-1: You stink! Hey, this guy stink!
speaker-0: Big matey claw.
speaker-2: Yeah, this my bad y'all My bad, I'm sorry. I I honestly can't either. This movie was a movie that happened in somehow it happened in theaters.
speaker-0: Fuck I can't believe you've done this. Who gave this movie funding?
speaker-2: I ⁓ you know what? Let's find out.
speaker-0: Who no no, I don't mean like which studio. I mean who was the guy in the studio that day that was on so many drugs? He was just sitting in a Khole and went ⁓ okay, let's end it. Like come on,
speaker-2: The real question is, 20 years later, who was like, you know that Christoph Gons movie we made in 2006? It's been 20 years. You think everyone will forget about it? Do you think if we make it about the second video game that everyone loves so fucking much, it'll be a better draw? Let's check it out! Let's let's cast absolutely nobody that's famous.
speaker-1: Let's do it again. Let it ride.
speaker-2: At all.
speaker-0: It's not even that. Like fine I'm genuinely I'm fine with the like look at Obsession. Like the no name actors for the most part. Well, because the director had a proper fucking vision and a good script. Yeah. This has neither.
speaker-2: But they did a good job. Yeah. This has nothing. Like I sat through this movie wondering what the fuck is happening from nearly the beginning. And now again, I understand. Silent Hill 2 is exactly what this movie was. It was James Sunderland looking for his dead wife in Silent Hill after receiving a letter from her. This movie was so desperate to be that game that I think ⁓ maybe just maybe they tried way too hard and missed by a mile.
speaker-0: Mile? Fuck it, not even on the same planet.
speaker-2: I'm just saying, I never played Silent Hill 2 and be smirching the name of the Konami series that maybe put the name besides Metal Gear of Konami on the shelf as a fucking mainstay. I mean, yes, Konami has had other games, but let's be fucking real. Metal Gear Solid and Silent Hill are their fucking moneymakers. Their biggest draw in any category is those two series. The fact that they even said in association with Konami. In the credits of this movie, I understand now why Kojima left.
speaker-0: I mean to be fair, like they legally have to be involved in their IP.
speaker-2: No, I I get it. Fucking understand, but Jesus Christ, Konami, have some self fucking just something, like
speaker-0: What are you doing?
speaker-2: This I wanted to think so much better of this movie, because I gotta be honest, the creatures, aside from the one that we can talk about, were pretty cool looking creatures. I'll give the creatures the credit, except for one they don't deserve it, but
speaker-0: no, I'm I'm I think Pyramid Head was not He wasn't what he wasn't the presence that he was in the other films.
speaker-2: If he had a face in the games, I think it would be wrong. They gave him a personality and then they made him I mean, spoiler alert, I'm that we're gonna be all over the place for you know however we talk about this movie. It it at one point shows it as James is the pyramid head. Yes. And I'm like I don't fucking understand why.
speaker-0: I mean that is canonically true though.
speaker-2: But okay, so then why is it
speaker-0: But there's no there's no setup for it in the
speaker-2: ⁓ yeah, there's there's no any like everyone knows that the the pyramid head is a a figment. He's a he's a you know he's a station. Yes, that's the word I was ⁓ and actually probably one of the most iconic manifestations in any horror game from any video game ever. ⁓ he's just iconic and ⁓ as as horrible as we spoke about the last two movies
speaker-0: Yeah.
speaker-2: They did pyramid head really fucking good. ⁓ by comparison, yes, especially that I would say they went probably too practical in his regard. No
speaker-0: No, I wouldn't say that it's he's too practical in the in Return to Silent Hill. I think it's more that they he doesn't have the illusion of being as big and hulking as he really is in the games. Cause like in the first Silent Hill, he's a huge threatening presence. But in here, he's kind of just around and then like is it. the same height as James because he's literally James, but he doesn't have the big hulking presence. It's just the giant pyramid head that's all of his presence. And well that is and his heavy breathing. Like that's it. Like he does he doesn't have the it's not like Nemesis or something. Or Mr. X where it's like this big fucking guy that's following you.
speaker-2: Yeah, true.
speaker-0: that that's something that they definitely fucked up on. And and also the heavy over reliance for even unnecessary CG because the fucking there's a scene where James is running and I can't even remember where it was in the film. But it's like they didn't film the part of him running that they wanted to use to fucking pad the time, basically is what it felt like.
speaker-2: There was a lot of that. When they went from the top down perspective especially. Yeah.
speaker-0: Yeah, yeah. I and there's a lot of really bad green screen as well that even my wife when we were watching it goes, ⁓ that green screen is bad. She is not the cynical ass that I am. If she called it out
speaker-2: That's bad. Like, there was there was just so much of nonsense too, like
speaker-0: There was. A lot of wasted time.
speaker-2: And how many different directors inspirations did you catch? Because I caught at least
speaker-0: To be honest, I really wasn't paying that much attention. That kind of thing. I was more just tr struggling to understand the plot.
speaker-2: Well I mean The what plot? There was no fucking plot to this movie. Whatsoever. No, they they tried to rely too heavily on the references, I think. The nurses were good. The nurses looked good. They always look good because they're pretty much all practical, I think. ⁓ until they're not. the no arm creatures, I think they I don't even know what the fuck they're called.
speaker-0: Yeah. Yes. They were CG. Yeah, they were C. They were CG based on like ⁓ 3D scans and stuff of the ⁓ the actress who was the the armless creatures as well as the spider creature and another one ⁓ my god. Yeah, we'll get into that.
speaker-2: With the Mega Draco physics.
speaker-1: Buda bota bota bota rubbera woah!
speaker-0: it's so so she was ⁓ what was her name? I didn't
speaker-2: Maria Mary? ⁓ you talk about the the
speaker-0: No. No. ⁓ actually I guess there was a couple of different ones. Lily Jana Velimuroff, no.
speaker-2: I think it'd be Liliana.
speaker-0: Maybe. I use Eastern European names. And yeah, Gulliona ⁓ Pelagati. Those were the two that they were using for the ⁓ god, I I can't do Italian names either. No, I just don't know fucking European
speaker-2: Julia Pelagati. ⁓ you're adding letters. You said Giuliana. ⁓ no you th you said Guliana.
speaker-0: No, I said Gully. Maybe I did. I don't know. Anyway. ⁓ let let's at least say, you know, the info about the movie before we so Return to Silent Hill, twenty twenty-six movie. ⁓ it is an hour and forty-six minutes long and it feels like six. it is directed by Christoph Gans.
speaker-2: ⁓ yeah, true, true, true.
speaker-0: Who is the director of the first Silent Hill movie? It was written by him as well as Sandra Vallan and William Joseph Schneider. The film stars, well, sorry, the alleged film stars Jeremy Irvine and Hannah Emily Anderson. ⁓ Hanna plays about six different versions of herself. There's some. I mean those are really the the the two main characters. There's some side act ⁓ side characters as well, both ⁓ most of them have pretty small roles, ⁓ so they're not even really worth mentioning. ⁓ like you said, they're all pretty much no names ⁓ in the space. But apparent apparently my wife did recognize Jeremy from something, I don't know what. But I remember she was like, ⁓ yeah, I know him. so the maybe.
speaker-2: Mamma Mia.
speaker-0: ⁓ so the film ⁓ is currently sitting at a four out of ten on IMDB. ⁓ it is a eighteen on the tomato meter on Rotten Tomatoes and a 28% on the ⁓ popcorn meter. On letterboxed, it is currently sitting at a 1.4 out of five. So
speaker-2: choked on that because he did not expect it to be so high if it might be.
speaker-0: ⁓ no, I I kinda had a throat bubble. so yeah, needless to say, it was not received well. so yeah, b basically My issues really started with it in the beginning. ⁓ so I mean we'll just give a brief overview of what the movie even is. James is an is an autist, I mean an artist. Probably both. who is driving through the mountains in what is assumed to be Massachusetts because of the fact that his license plate is Massachusetts. Except the mountains that he's driving through at first look more like New Hampshire and then in the meat cute between him and Mary, ⁓ when he almost fucking runs her over and runs over her luggage. ⁓ they have clearly teleported to the Swiss fucking Alps because those mountains do not exist in Massachusetts and they do not exist in New Hampshire or Vermont.
speaker-2: And also Silent Hills in neither of those states if I'm remembering correctly.
speaker-0: Yeah, I believe it's supposed to be in West Virginia. Uh-huh. ⁓ 'cause like even in the first movie. ⁓ they talk about or I I think in there it's West Virginia or Pennsylvania. And the the lore within the movie is that the reason that the ash is everywhere is because the the coal mine. It's it's supposedly like based on like the coal mine that's like forever burning in the mountains. Yeah. ⁓ and that's why there's the ash everywhere. ⁓ and so that was supposed to be the disaster it was based on. ⁓ but I think in the game it's canonically snow, correct?
speaker-2: I don't
speaker-0: I don't yeah, I don't remember either. ⁓ but they're going with the fire aesthetic again. ⁓ it's ash. ⁓
speaker-2: ⁓ did they? Could you c are you sure? They didn't fucking show so much fire in this movie. I saw it way like it was probably because I kept seeing it in every fucking siren part and there was a lot of siren parts in this movie.
speaker-0: Mo most of the fire was at the end. Yeah, the ⁓ the siren parts or but it was i i it was showing in flashbacks or flash forwards.
speaker-2: I n ⁓ my god, I can't even fucking tell the chronological structure of this fucking movie.
speaker-0: Yeah, it's really not star shield well. ⁓
speaker-2: I hated I hated this movie so much.
speaker-0: Yeah, so they meet and then it f fast forwards to when he's in a bar and then he gets the letter from Mary. ⁓ right? Is it Mary? Yeah.
speaker-2: Yeah, h he goes home shit faced and he wakes up and he finds the letter on the f
speaker-0: Or after trying to drink the empty vodka bottle that he should have been able to tell was empty by picking it up. Yep. and he drives back to fucking Silent Hill and there's this random fucking therapist that he's being called by constantly and it it's i that her role doesn't make sense in the grand scheme of things because it's
speaker-2: None them do. None of the extras do it at all. Except like literally only f one Not even the cult dude, just the guy under the bridge.
speaker-0: Just the cult. Just the cult members. Yeah, yeah. so he makes his way back to Silent Hill and then Corsi fucking ⁓ what happened here? Something happened and then alternative Mary is talking to him, like, ⁓ if we can't find Mary we can leave together.
speaker-2: Can we just I I need to pump the brakes a little bit again. The fact that he can both receive and make fucking phone calls while he's in Silent Hill is canonically inaccurate to the entire rest of the other fucking two movies.
speaker-0: What's
speaker-2: To the games, yes, that's also true. It makes no fucking sense.
speaker-0: Yeah, I thought that too. 'Cause he's like the fucking sirens go off or whatever and then the the fucking therapist calls again and he's just he answers it like
speaker-2: 'Cause Sean Bean couldn't touch couldn't get in to touch with his wife when she was in Silent Hill. Mm-hmm. It was all static and broken up and choppy. Like
speaker-0: ⁓ I get it. It's it's because it's twenty years later they got better cell service.
speaker-2: ⁓ yes, that's right. They would have installed the five G towers inside of the city that's or the town that's fucking
speaker-0: Why there were biohazard stickers all over the the the wall because of the COVID from the 5G. That makes sense.
speaker-2: And all the all the cancer from the Bluetooth. Yep.
speaker-0: Mm-hmm. That's why the the armless people were spewing the black shit out.
speaker-2: Yeah they're they're fitting their cancer.
speaker-0: Yeah. Alright, so yeah, then basically it just turns into a runaround trying to find Mary and then it at some point there's just an intuition that she's in the hospital. ⁓ okay, and then it goes from there. And then he comes up and he finds their old apartment after being chased by these fucking bugs with human like faces, which was
speaker-2: ⁓ my god, those things are fucking weird as fuck. They were like scarem
speaker-0: Yeah, yeah. They're they were weird. But and the ⁓ god the CG it was just
speaker-2: So bad in this really bad
speaker-0: ⁓ but he gets into the apartment and then finds a dude in his apartment in the bathroom f Yeah, and he is literally the worst of all of the extra characters in this because I don't know if he has ever heard an American accent before, but you can tell that he is either Irish or Welsh.
speaker-2: throwing up. ⁓ Eddie?
speaker-0: because
speaker-2: Well his name is Pierce Egan.
speaker-0: Yeah. ⁓ he doesn't really have much on his ⁓ IMTB. He does, but doesn't really know like actor view. ⁓ so I I d I'm not sure if he's Welsh or Irish, but you could tell that accent was really slipping through. so it was very it w it's another one of those like we talked about in Doom where ⁓ what's her name? The the doctor sister person, the actor, I can't remember her fucking name. ⁓ Rosemond Pike and ⁓ Carl Urban are both English actors and their siblings in the movie, and yet they're both with American accents in the movie. Just fucking use your regular accent at that point.
speaker-2: And why?
speaker-0: That still bothers me. Anyway, ⁓ so you have these two UK plus adjacent possibly ⁓ actors with mediocre and piss poor American accents talking to each other in a scene. And that alone was like uncanny valley enough where it was like tripping something in my brain where I'm like, this is wrong. That this is not right. This is like just just the conversation. Pierce needs a better fucking ⁓ vocal coach because boy, that was rough. ⁓ and his character is fucking useless. Like he just gives a little bit of exposition that is stuff that's already inferred if you pay the fuck attention to one, the Angela character, what she says, and two, if you look at the environment, and then he just gets mad that he calls him an asshole, kicks him and punches him like a girl, and runs away when fucking pi ⁓ pyramid head shows up. I almost said pinhead, when pyramid head shows up. And even then, because I was reading something about this, apparently the reveal of Pyramid Head in the game is a lot more ominous and threatening than what we got in the movie.
speaker-2: ⁓ no doubt. I'm I'm not even gonna question that. Do you think he has the same vocal coach as Channing Tatum for Deadpool and Wolf?
speaker-0: Chanting Tater Tots, maybe. Yeah. ⁓ but because in in the game, he's on the other side of those bars, but he's stationary and doesn't move unless you approach the bars. But here he's just already aware of where James and Eddie are and are coming towards him. Or is coming towards them. And like there's no like creepy suspense to that or anything. Because
speaker-2: Panning trade ⁓ yes.
speaker-0: He's dragging his fucking sword and you can hear him coming. So stupid. Yeah.
speaker-2: So dumb. Definitely want to use him in a battle sometimes.
speaker-0: Pyramid Head. Yeah. Yeah, we could definitely do that. yeah, I mean I I mean there's a bunch of flashbacks that explain why Mary is fucked up. I mean there's the fucking her dad was like this religious cult leader essentially and had been poisoning her since she was a child.
speaker-2: ⁓ so every other fucking main pro ⁓ antagonist in the series so far?
speaker-0: Yeah. ⁓ but whatever the poison was would cause her to just start bleeding everywhere and then all the other cult members would start like wiping the blood off of her and licking it almost orgasmically. It was fucking weird.
speaker-2: Yeah, that that shit was fucking uncomfortable.
speaker-0: Yeah, but like the only time there's really any pyramid head action in this is directly after.
speaker-2: Well, when he fights the spider lady.
speaker-0: Yeah, because as James is running from the from Pyramid Head, who's trying to break through the bars, ⁓ he comes across a what looks like a corpse laying there that looks like Mary, who then turns into a s fucking spider woman with insane jiggle physics. Yeah, kinda. and like like legitimately severe jiggle physics. It runs around
speaker-2: Spider Mannequin.
speaker-0: Her titties are fucking jiggling. And then when Yeah, when Pyramid Head like pi like s picks her up and slams her on the table in the apartment and he starts ⁓ pounding her with his fists. I wanna be clear. which ⁓ which somehow kills the spider creature, that ass be jiggling.
speaker-2: Back.
speaker-1: Ami p...
speaker-0: I think Christoph Gons has a fucking fetish and we saw it on the screen. Yeah. He likes ⁓ women with jiggle physics to be pounded on a table. it's so weird. I I don't know. It is it's just it doesn't make sense. There's just so much bad CG. There's there's a fucking there's a scene somewhere in between where I think it's before ⁓ no.
speaker-2: ⁓ no doubt.
speaker-0: I don't I can't remember where it is. I think it's I think it's after that, like after he wakes up in the morning after the Reaper. Silent Hill goes back to quote unquote normal. ⁓ that he's running from the apartments to go to another building. I don't even remember which one. And there's like a five second scene that I feel like they forgot to shoot, and so they did the entire thing in CG and you can fucking tell James is CG, the environment is CG, all of the the it almost looks like that five-second scene of him running like down some steps like stone steps and then across like a street was done by a completely different studio because the ash looked different the fogginess looked different the the the the the color pattern Was slightly different than the rest of the shots, and it was very noticeably CG. It did not look organic, and I I had to like shake my head and like, wait, what the fuck did I just see? ⁓ response. but anyway, after kind of sort of I mean, I think James figures it out. The audience doesn't, finally finding Mary, and she looks like fucking Vecna with four arms. Legitimately looks like Vecna.
speaker-2: I just I I'm glad we finally got to her. Because when she grabs him. What the fuck happened? What the fuck happened? What the fuck happened?
speaker-0: And throat fox him. Yeah, why was he just in the hospital and
speaker-2: Like she was turning him into a reverse meat puppet, and then he is out of Silent Hill. What the fuck?
speaker-0: No, he wasn't out of silent hill.
speaker-2: He was out of the bad part of Silent Hill. Safe with people. What the fuck?
speaker-0: Happened. Yeah, like pre-disaster Silent Hill. Also, c can we talk about the fact that the hospital in that town of like I assume 500 people, maybe a thousand?
speaker-2: Like
speaker-0: was fucking massive. That was like a 13 or 14 story hospital building that would be f like perfectly fit in like Manhattan. And yet it's in this tiny little village in the fucking mountains. What the fuck? Sorry. Little weird tangent that bothered me. ⁓ yeah, he's just in the fucking hospital because he I don't know. I think they were trying to say that he had like a ⁓ a mental freakout or was in a like they made it almost seem like i all of this was a dream my wife even said that exactly she goes ⁓ so this was a dream all that was a dream so it was pointless okay ⁓ but it was it like that was a dream within a f a the dream maybe I don't know it's not properly fucking explained doesn't make sense
speaker-2: Because it it couldn't be a dream because the beginning happens again. And it's like he knows what's gonna happen. So yeah. Was it premonition? Is he stuck in a time loop because that's what Silent Hill does? Like, there is nothing. This movie has answers for zero questions and it has dozens of fucking questions.
speaker-0: Yeah. Yeah, and it seems like everything it tries to explain, it just raises more questions. Because like there's so they fucking do the thing where she has two middle names for some reason. and because Hannah Emily Anderson plays what three different versions of herself, plus there's another actress playing a younger version of her, ⁓ Evie Templeton.
speaker-1: True.
speaker-2: She played four people total. Mary Crane, Angela, Maria and Moth Mary.
speaker-0: Yes. but I mean Moth Mary was just the Silent Hill version of Mary. yeah, Vecna essentially. Vecna with four arms. And yeah, there's that's another thing too. There's such a heavy fucking symbolism on the moths. Like is that present in the the games?
speaker-2: Or Vecna. Not the one that I played. So maybe.
speaker-0: We we have a surprise interruption guest. ⁓ hello. Hello. Just need my husband to pop my back. He'll be back. Okay. And he has returned. And the moves suck, by the way.
speaker-2: Thank you. I agree.
speaker-0: He said, Thank you, I agree.
speaker-1: Yeah.
speaker-2: In regards to your question. Yes, that was a very small cameo. In regards to your question, ⁓ moths and butterflies serves as put as potent symbols of death, decay, transformation, and guilt. They frequently appear in Silent Hill 2, where they represent Mary's disease and Maria's nature, contrasting with white butterflies that symbolize Mary's soul.
speaker-0: ⁓ okay. Yeah, 'cause I noticed there was a lot of like in the the flashback scenes, there is always like butterflies flying around and then, you know, in fucked up Silent Hill and non well, less fucked up Silent Hill, there was a lot of moths as well. so I I just didn't know if there was if that was accurate ⁓ the game. ⁓ and it obviously it does make sense. Transformation and death and all that stuff. But it's just it's so hand fisted. It's just it's it's too much, to be honest. Seems like half the budget went to just CGI moths.
speaker-2: This movie spent too much time in not making any sense. Yeah. That nothing made sense. Like there was no organization. There was no structure. I I've never seen tenant, but I know the one thing that I've heard about that more than anything is how it's all over the place. And I feel like this movie was worse.
speaker-0: Yeah. Yeah, it's a ⁓ Tenet is Nolan's attempt at a time travel movie or something, I don't know. ⁓ so s surprisingly, ⁓ this movie made money? ⁓ yeah, I know.
speaker-2: How ⁓
speaker-0: it made over three point two million in its opening weekend. its production budget was twenty-three million and it ⁓ worldwide box office was thirty-three and a half million. So it didn't make it only made ten million. But I don't know if the production budget also includes marketing. ⁓ because if it doesn't, then there's a good chance it may have broke. even depending on how much they spent on budgeting or ⁓ marketing. Or like I said, if it's at if that's included, I'm not sure.
speaker-2: I just hope they don't do this again.
speaker-0: Yeah, yeah, apparently like ⁓ world like with all releases, theatrical and all that stuff, it was close to forty eight million worldwide. at least that's according to the box office mojo. I'm getting two different numbers, so I'm not sure which is which. But yeah, it wasn't like a big blockbuster making a hundred million dollars or anything. But
speaker-2: No. Thanks. Fuck if that happened I would probably have to s just be done with movies.
speaker-0: Yeah. ⁓ my question is, and 'cause you're slightly more familiar, what is Maria's point? Like what is the reason for her character's existence?
speaker-2: I never played the second game. I played Silent Hill one. Okay. So I d I don't maybe she's supposed to be like the ⁓ the foil.
speaker-0: Mary the Mary that he wanted.
speaker-2: O or maybe she's just supposed to be the representation of his regret. It could be maybe the youthful version of her that once existed sick, you know. The y i it's literally just one of the bazillion fucking questions that are the result of this movie. Not one answer. Not one.
speaker-0: Yeah, I guess.
speaker-2: Answer is given by the end of this movie. Even the fucking rid and you talk about CG scenes. I'm going straight to the end real quick. That CG scene at the end of this movie pissed me off beyond all comprehension. ⁓ the underwater scene.
speaker-0: Which one? Yeah. Yeah, because it the the biggest thing that bothered me about that was he so they were going for a first person perspective from James's view while they're in the car underwater.
speaker-2: Which they did that too many times in this movie, by the way.
speaker-0: Yeah, that's true. They he looked at himself in the rear view mirror and then looks down at the dash and steering wheel, but his face does not move in the reflection, which was annoying. I know the reason why they included them the the mirror ⁓ shots is because that's something that ⁓ is in the games. but it definitely feels out of place because of how they handled it. And I also really get the vibe that they were trying to make James kind of like Sam Winchester with like the hair and the just an actor that could play him in like a reboot of the show or something. And just has the vibe of it, but like I don't know. It like especially if you look at the images on IMDB, the the fourth image that shows up, like it looks like he's a knockoff Sam Winchester. And it's kind of fucking annoying. ⁓ I did not click that.
speaker-2: Well, annoying is what I would use Annoying is what I would use to describe my feelings about this entire fucking move.
speaker-0: Yeah, 'cause like even the narration is just It sounds like he's trying to be super deep and philosophical, and he kinda talks like this the entire time. But then he doesn't talk like that throughout the rest of the fucking film. It's so disjointed. Thank you for that.
speaker-2: Yeah, sorry about the flashbang. I couldn't agree more, honestly. It's just everything feels disconnected. Everything feels like out of place. Everything feels out of order. It feels like they time hop at least a dozen times in the fucking movie, and it's just fucking it's terrible. It's terrible. Makes no sense.
speaker-0: Yeah it made so there's there's three writers credited, at least. Yeah, there's three writers credited. And I feel like all of them were working independently and they weren't like comparing notes. Because it feels like one writer wrote dialogue, one writer was doing like here's how the main structure of the story is gonna go and then another writer was like, here's how we're gonna set up flashbacks and stuff and how we're gonna structure the film and none of them were talking to each other. I mean then gave it to an editor and said here edit this for me and then walked away.
speaker-2: Yeah. They all shot three different movies and they said blend it together.
speaker-0: Yeah, like it just it doesn't feel properly connected. Every time it goes from unfucked up Silent Hill to fucked up Silent Hill, it's like we're watching two different movies because there's really no direct connection between like 'cause like those insect things, they don't show up again after the first like siren event.
speaker-2: Yeah, I noticed that too.
speaker-0: And then you you start seeing more of the heavy moth things. And then they only come across the nurses on one floor of the hospital. Yet it feels like forty minutes of the film takes place in the hospital. the only thing that is consistently reoccurring are the armless creatures. But even then it's only a threat twice, first when he first encounters it. They're not even really a fucking threat when he's running away from them to get to the the apartment. And then when him and Maria are basically hiding behind the truck from one when they're on their way to the hospital. Like that's the only time they were even remotely a threat. And I mean he took out one by throwing a fucking pipe at its head and it fell down.
speaker-2: I mean video game logic that tends to reason, but still.
speaker-0: Yeah, but like he hit it in the head with a pipe once and then it scurries under a man ⁓ under the truck into a manhole and then is never seen again.
speaker-2: We never see any reference to that underground chin ever again either. Like there's no there's no sewer reference, no nothing. Where?
speaker-0: Yeah there was. He goes through the sewers. shit, where does he go through the sewers? He does go down into the sewers at one point, briefly. ⁓ but it was like a very short scene. It was just like he had to go through there to traverse to the next area and then that was it. And then like I don't no, you know what it was? It was ⁓ when he was following it during the flashback scene when he goes down and finds what the cult is doing.
speaker-2: I must have must have done. ⁓ okay. So yeah, nothing nothing in relation to current shit.
speaker-0: Nope. Nope. That's the only time he goes down into a sewer is ⁓ pre-fucked up Silent Hill. Yeah. Yeah. ⁓ because I was gonna say I vaguely remember that. Also, so my wife has an iPhone. James has an iPhone. I said an iPhone flashlight is not that fucking bright. It seems like he's using one of those like tactical lights you can buy on eBay for your
speaker-2: Yeah, so then my point stand. Yeah.
speaker-0: That was attached to the back of his fucking phone. And yet she turns on her flashlight and points it behind us in the living room. And it is nowhere near as bright or directionalized as what's on the iPhone. So it's v it did make me happy when his battery died. And it was also funny when he was like, ⁓ the battery's dead. Let me try whacking my phone in my hand to try and that sounded wrong wrong. Let me try hitting my phone on my hand to try and get the battery to come back. Like, what are you gonna fucking what do you know how phones work?
speaker-2: I know how flashlights work and this phone is really that a plastic.
speaker-0: Yes, it's a ⁓ flashlight from nineteen eighty-four where you have to shake it ⁓ and it'll recharge. It's like one of those little shake me and I recharge flashlights. Yeah, that's definitely how it works. ⁓ yeah, Betty's the same type of person that believed in the whole ⁓ did you get your phone iPhone wet? Just throw it in the microwave. Fucking moron. He is so stupid. Yes. His character is so fucking stupid. He does the stupidest shit.
speaker-2: He was. Well, stupid is a stupid dust, sir. Stupid is a stupid does.
speaker-0: Yeah. I don't is there even anything else to talk about this fucking god awful piece of shit? This alleged film. I mean honestly, yeah.
speaker-2: We've given it too too much time. I think the best use of this time was when you took a break to crack your wife's back.
speaker-0: Probably. Believe me, it cracked.
speaker-2: ⁓ I bet. ⁓ just like we're gonna crack the review rating point right now. ⁓ I'm not even gonna let you go first. I'm just gonna give this movie the solid ten that I was planning on giving it to begin with. ⁓ because nothing gets a zero really. No out of a hundred. yeah, no. ⁓ this movie sucked so bad, but it wasn't a zero suck. It was just a really bad one out of ten suck.
speaker-0: Yeah, I'll read Yeah, yeah, I'll I'll I'll read that 'cause it's ⁓ brief. ⁓ quote me. The spider creature that looked like Mary had Jiggle physics, and we all know Christoph Gons's fetters. ⁓ I would like to apologize for giving Silent Hill and Silent Hill Revelation two and a half and one star respectively, assuming revelation assuming revelation was absolute dog shit. Turns out worse was yet to come. I'm not changing those ratings, but my hate for them feels less justified. ⁓ and I gave it a whopping Half star on Letterboxd.
speaker-2: Which is what I just gave this basically.
speaker-0: Yes. ⁓ so the ⁓ score for this is ten out of a hundred.
speaker-2: Hooray! We agree.
speaker-0: Two plus two is four. Minus one that's three. Quick maths.
speaker-2: Quick commands, but Law of Averages, this movie is a one out of ⁓ one out of ten or ten out of a hundred. And boy ⁓ boy would we not recommend it ever.
speaker-0: No ever if yeah, if you wanna see a ⁓ new or if you wanna experience a new Silent Hill property that ⁓ follows the beats of Silent Hill 2, just fucking play the remake of Silent Hill 2. Yeah. You'll just get so much more enjoyment out of it. Yep, yep.
speaker-2: Yeah. Yep. Or any of the silent home games really. Especially if you're into that shit.
speaker-0: Mm-hmm.
speaker-2: ⁓ alright, well this review is far too long and now gonna be over with. ⁓ next week I do think we are going to review the first good Resident Evil movie. ⁓ rumor has it anyways, I haven't seen it yet. Dean has and never had him come to me and say, Dude, you gotta see this movie. But he did in fact say, Dude, you gotta see this movie. So I think I have to see this movie.
speaker-0: movie. Is that something you're actually gonna be able to do this week? ⁓ gonna say we're off Monday. Yeah, yeah.
speaker-2: I'm gonna figure it the fuck out, sir. That's true. I will figure it the fuck out, sir.
speaker-0: Put it this way. the new Resident Evil is a I don't wanna spoil too much. I'm sure, you know, if you're familiar with the movie, ⁓ those listening, ⁓ you already know how it's being received. ⁓ but we ⁓ decided to buy one of the ⁓ popcorn merch things that came out ⁓ with the movie. ⁓ AMC Theatres was selling the ⁓ the organ donor yeah the first yeah the first aid bag as a popcorn bucket so it's basically a giant lunch box and we saw that and said okay yeah we should get that that's fucking cool ⁓ because it doubles as an actual lunch box so we bought that it's nice apparently people are trying to scout the one eBay for like 250 bucks we paid 24 for it
speaker-2: No I Yeah, well, I mean, come on. Scalping on the internet twenty twenty six it's kinda like they go fucking hand in hand.
speaker-0: Yeah, I know. Pokemon cards, Ram, Pokemon cards.
speaker-2: Yeah. Fucking yeah. ⁓ yeah. let's not let's not fall down that rabbit hole right now. ⁓ all right, before we cut it out, ⁓ have you any parting words? Huh. Yeah. Alright. Arbiter, come on now. Close the show.
speaker-0: Fucking steam frames. Jiggophysics.
speaker-1: Thank you all so much for checking out another episode of Console Combat. It is you, our loyal listeners, who keep us thriving and surviving. And we would love it if you would follow us on all of our social medias. On Instagram and TikTok, it's at Console Combat Podcast. On Mastodon, our handle is consolecombatpodcast at mastodon.social. And on Blue Sky, you can find us by searching for at consolecombatpodcast.bsky.social. Your support is all the love we could ever hope for. And speaking of support, please support all of the shows on the Dynamite. Mike Podcast Network. Listen Tuesdays for Dynamic Duel Marvel vs. DC with Johnny and Joe. Wednesdays for Max Destruction with Scotty and Gilly, bringing you all the action, and Thursdays are for Senjoe World with Zach, bringing you all the anime and manga you can handle. Finally, leaving us a five-star rating and review wherever you're hearing this will help us continue to grow and bring you these wonderful and creative fights every week. So our fate and future depends on you. Back to you guys.
speaker-2: And remember, if you have to go to the hills, make sure they're silent.
speaker-0: God. and remember, I want to silent kill myself after this.
speaker-2: Harakiri?
speaker-0: That was a ⁓ it's actually the top or most popular review for the film on Letterboxd by user Brandon.
speaker-2: well.
speaker-0: Yep.
speaker-2: And on that note later nerds. Fucking hate you. All episode I've done it. You're like, no, stop it. Fuck you.
speaker-1: Silent L
speaker-0: Yeah.
speaker-1: Silent Hill!
speaker-2: Douchebag. Yeah.
