WEBVTT
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Hi, and welcome to Hypothetically Intentional, where we ask the question what if we set intentions with everything we do?
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I'm your host, Michelle Albers, and today I have Coach TJ with me.
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Welcome, Coach.
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Hey, Michelle, great to be with you.
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Thanks for having me today.
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It's great to have you here, TJ.
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Uh, rumor has it you're open to setting an intention for us today.
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Yes, I accept that challenge.
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Um, so our intention for today is called bake an intention.
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Setting an intention to heal, help others, or reach new heights draws supportive energy to your causes now.
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Bake a comforting intention into you, anything you do, from managing your day to going after your most delicious dreams, like adding ingredients to a recipe.
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Keep intentions simple and straightforward to easily recall these magical mantras and call in what you need.
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Wise intentions include the best interests of all.
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It's like you're meant to be here.
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That's so aligned with the intentions of this podcast.
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Thanks for being here.
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Yeah, no problem.
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Um pleased to be here.
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That uh I like the the visual of baking intentions into or putting intentions into like everything that you're creating, right?
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I think that's really cool.
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Yeah.
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So to kick things off, Coach TJ is vague.
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I mean, it's not, it's pretty descriptive, but I would love to hear really more about what coach TJ means.
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What kind of coach?
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How how does that fit into your life and also your journey?
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Yeah, I mean, a coach in principle to me is someone who facilitates the the services or products that they're offering.
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Um and I offer multiple different services, but to particularly one audience.
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Um my main focus is in providing family and females with support for their daily lives.
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Um, so whether that comes from scheduling um to you know after school care or uh a very simple budget management task or activity, that's the type of work that I'm doing, is trying to help you know key decision makers in the family who are intentional about how they would like their family, their life, their kind of dreams, if you like, um, to bake an intention in that way, to try to heal, help others reach new heights, um, and and coaching through the different kind of mediums that I offer to the individuals themselves and what they need.
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And that starts from being a coach where I was a personal trainer at the initial meeting where you have that kind of you know, fitness testing, you know, previous injuries, and I'm asking all those types of questions as if I was a personal trainer, but then applying them to my experience as a teacher, um, to a pastor, to the life stage that they're at.
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So I'm kind of trying to explore and examine um, you know, the stage that they're at as an individual, and then the stage that their family is at, and then the collective of being a wellness concierge to their needs.
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Um, and that can be me um solely.
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Sometimes I take families and I, you know, I will coach the parents, I will coach the children, and I will work with them through particular life stages, whether that's you know the end of life for an elderly member of their family, or if it's a first communion, or a premarital wedding vow, or if it's a um, you know, a new business starting cash flow forecasting.
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So all of those things come into kind of a wellness holistic coach.
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Um, I was recently at a a conference in Miami, and and when speaking with people, they were just just in awe of what I was saying, but they said you're basically an all in one family wellness concierge.
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Um, and I would say that that's that's fairly accurate, you know, a family and female oriented coach.
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That's amazing.
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It's funny because what you just said that about how they said, you know, you it's like the whole family.
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What I heard in what you were saying, it sounds like broad, but it doesn't feel that way.
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It's like you're a whole picture, a whole picture coach, but in a way that can be very niched in or really zoned into what one person or one family might need to support them.
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I love what you said, in their dreams, in their goals, in how they want to live in the world.
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Yeah, and I think that um the feminine part of that, you know, that we've we've had a previous podcast recording where we talked about that.
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And I think that the nurturing part of me being a coach um is really important.
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Um, and for some people in their families, they do not have uh a male figure um to whatever degree that may be, and and actually they would like someone out of curiosity, tradition, or just where there seems to be some form of a void, uh, often for boys, um for for parents who are single mums or grandparents or you know, widows or orphans or divorcees or refugees or expats who tend to be the kind of key decision makers for families in a single parent household that I'm working with.
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Um they tend to want to not have somebody come in and tell them what to do, but to have somebody who's a safe pair of hands offer them a different perspective in both uh, you know, I guess um the body of who I am in in my alpha or in my masculine, but to also be balanced and to not just be headstrong, but to listen, to hear, and to help draw out, facilitate the kind of listening ear, if you like, to the nurture and the nature of the needs of the whole family and the familial experience, you know.
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Um, and I think that is so important today because um whether or not you're struggling with your child having a neurodivergent developmental challenge, or if you're having, you know, to start off in a new way, whether that's in a a new home, a new job, a new entrepreneurial experience, a new city.
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There's so much external factors, you know, the strengths, weaknesses, the opportunities, and threats which deter you and distract you when you're in that first three to six month phase.
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I come in for six to twelve weeks and I try to really kind of like put everything in a fresh perspective, balance out the books or the schedule or the family priorities to meet their needs right where they're at, without kind of um ignoring emotions or feelings, and actually essentially um bringing them to the center of the root cause of what's denying them the freedom of the you know the feminine free and fit parts of my coaching, um, which which I hope brings that whole package, the six to twelve week experience with me um to fruition and completion of them resolving that and and really having independence from there on so that they're not reliant upon me as their coach all year round, but but after six to twelve weeks they can go about getting on with their lives and living together as a family as one.
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Yeah.
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I like your definition of coach.
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I I appreciate that you broke it down and and shared what that means to you because it feels very much like a co-creation and checks and balances and really insight and wisdom versus like pointing a finger and telling people what to do, which is not what I think of as coaching, and I don't think most people do anymore.
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But I think there sometimes is that view that coaching means, oh, somebody's just gonna tell me what to do.
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And that's that's not at all what you're talking about.
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And I think that feels very empowering to me.
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Like, you know, the families and the people that you work with get to have a major role in their decisions, but you help them find that grounded place of you know, an um emotionally regulated response versus maybe a heated reaction.
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Yeah, and and I think like if you imagine you're opening a new restaurant, right, and you're you're starting out your day one, you've got all the uh stuff, you have your kitchen set up, you've been legally cleared by the state for the building to go ahead, everything's ready, like you've done all your recruitment, you've got all your tables ready, the restaurant's been rebranded and molded to the the desired cuisine that you would like, but you haven't got your menu.
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You know, like you're ready to open the doors, everybody's there, the customers have been targeted, there's people lining up, everything is ready, but you don't know what your ingredients are, and you haven't got a menu to give to them when they come in the door.
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And so I'm just trying to, like we said about baking and intention, right?
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It's like bringing the menu, telling them, you know, repeating back to them the order, and then giving them the ingredients to go and cook the thing and live it out, you know.
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Like that's that's a way of just try to really like explain it in practical and I guess both metaphorical and physical terms so that people can understand.
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I think that's so helpful because everyone learns and receives differently.
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So to have words that break it down simply without the metaphor, but then also the metaphor for the visual learners and audio learners out there.
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I don't know.
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I think that's a good thing when we can it also shows that like you have a clear understanding in how you show up and what you offer, because you can explain it in a bunch of different ways.
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And I know that sounds like a weird thing to say, but I think sometimes putting this kind of thing into words can be really challenging.
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And I don't know if that's because the creative feminine, to bring it back to that, you know, kind of gets in the way and gets a little too creative, or if the masculine gets in the way and tries to get too logical and the two can't braid together and craft something that hits both, you know.
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Yeah.
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Um, and I think when we spoke yesterday, we talked a little bit about kind of the healing part of um the coach and and how you nurse into action.
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Um, and I feel like that part of any family is that there is a need for kind of um a balance of clear decision making with emotional nurture, and that nursing into action kind of I think it's the remedy for like the the headstrong alpha to the you know sensitive considerable emotions and feelings type paralysis analysis, you know, like when we try to consider everybody.
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Um, I'm a nine on the Enneagram, so like I draw a lot of like ideas from listening and hearing everybody, but ultimately I have to be able to find um a resolute response in spite of you know all the different voices in the room, all the different categories of choices I could make and be clear and decisive in what I need to get done.
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And I think that balance comes when you take on the nurturing perspective of the matriarchal care and compassion.
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Because when somebody is heard, they can then articulate truly what it is that they want in a given scenario, circumstance, or or situation.
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And if you don't have that space to be heard, or if you don't have the ability to kind of decipher what is in your uh you know, your ingredients, you can't bake the cake.
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You've you've got to be able to see, you know, everything broken down.
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And if there's a secret uh recipe, um, it's not for disaster, it's it's truly for you know the best tasting experience that that life can give you when you have the matriarchal and patriarchal balance of feminine and masculine traits as one, but oftentimes it takes the feminine to identify the masculine imbalance because we can't have one without the other.
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Um it means in some ways that in order to create, we have to get soft so that we can get ready, you know.
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Like we have to soften, we have to surrender, we have to come back to the center of who we are to find out where we want to go and and how to do that.
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Yeah, so I talk about something called the transformation process, which is kind of like identifying the modality.
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Um, how do you move forward?
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You know, the the why is always imperative to find out, but the how is the first step in that journey.
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So we go through the how of what we're gonna do in the modality, we then look at the the the where, which is the median, like where do we find space, where do we find opportunity, where do we find the the solution to these issues that keep arising?
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And we find in the median and the modality the kind of way forward of how we work together from that first meeting, in that first kind of hour that you meet with me.
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We'll have a 15-minute like self-discovery call.
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The first session in the six-part transformation process is to identify, like I said, the personal training questions, the fitness testing, the spiritual testing, the social testing, and the mental testing of all of the things which are going on, and then breaking that down into kind of like a schedule so you can set it forth.
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What does your average week look like?
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Writing it down from like noon in in midnight to noon midnight again, the 24-hour day for each day to then see this is what I've done in the past two weeks.
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Writing it down, keeping a journal, identifying what happens, and then drawing out into the next two weeks a better way forward.
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So you're kind of mapping it out, you're identifying the detail, and you're drawing to your attention the where things need attention, where there's space for that attention to be given, and where it's possible to make changes.
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Um, and then we travel through like two sessions in the middle, which are all about the kind of the why, and that why is all about the the contributing factors which are external in the first session, and then the externals drawn into the internal.
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Because if we look at ourselves first, we kind of I don't know, we have a blame culture in society, so we always want to take something away from it being our own fault.
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So if you look at all of the external factors and you state them what they are, you make them clear and they're out on the table.
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When you come to the parts that are yourself, you've already identified all of the reasons which you would explain away, if you know what I mean, like the the excuses that you would give, and you can I can just draw from what they've said that we know that this factor is why you're saying that.
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But really, for you, what's happening?
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Like, talk to me more, like tell me how I can help you identify if we take these external factors out, what's truly going on in your heart, what's truly going on in your body, in your mind, in your soul, and through breathing, through meditation, through you know, just reflective practitioner listening, you're able to draw out of the individual some of the common themes which um you've done today in this podcast by asking me directly about being a coach and asking me directly about the response to that when you you come to me as a client or a customer, what does that look like and how does that affect the the life and how does the process work and what does that bring me?
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So that's the why.
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And then you know, you you really having looked at the how, the where and the why, it's it's the when, you know, like when do you want to make that decision to make this different?
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And and at that fourth session, I will not book the fifth session until the individual is ready.
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So I go away and I give them my scheduling link and I say, Hey, we've reached this point.
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Now you have this opportunity to either go and live out for two weeks and then come back to me, or to go and get it done and do it straight away.
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And and sometimes I do a six-day intensive, and when I do that six-day intensive, I tell them at the start, this is the map, on day four, you're gonna have some really hard soul searching to do overnight.
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So you have to make sure that that night, that evening is yours.
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So whenever we do the six-day plan, I make sure that that individual has that evening free for themselves to do that inner work to clear their diary and to find the answers to the results they're seeking.
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And then that that bring that brings out the you know the when, and like from the when session five, we they decide what action they're gonna take, and they know the how, they know the why, they know the where, they know the when.
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And then so then section six is all about the what, you know, like what what is gonna be different if I know all of this information?
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You know, what is gonna happen, what am I gonna do?
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Where where is the how, why, when gonna take me to my what I'm gonna do now to to the end, and that kind of brings out the the feminine free and fit in all of us because when you identify to the feminine, if you're a male or a female, it's the most forgotten part of our DNA.
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Um, and that's not an offensive person as a female because they will tell you I've been operating in my alpha way too much.
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And a lady or a a mom or a a doer, if you like, will always come back to the identity that they know they need to soften and surrender more to identify and draw out of themselves truly what they're you know wanting out of life or what they're wanting out of the current circumstance or situation that they're in.
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So that's the feminine part, and that's why it's upfront, intentional, and and out there.
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It's not to be like as much as I love wearing pink and being bright and neon with it, it's not the detail of what I'm trying to do.
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I'm just trying to identify to us that we all need that tree that we have in our local neighborhood that we look at, that we go to to center, to meditate, to soften, to surrender to the circumstance so that we can get back to ourselves and then live out breathing, you know, with intention, the the you know, healing and and and the new heights we want to reach as we bake our intention for the future.
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So I think that dream of like being feminine, free, and fit for me is a daily battle.
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Um, and the the freedom comes in knowing that that is the case, and that we've been given the freedom of another day, we've been given the freedom of another opportunity to live on this earth.
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And the fitness comes with you know that identity that I spoke to you about yesterday that the World Health Organization defines being fit as physical, mental, and social, and I add the spiritual element to it, which to each individual is wildly different.
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You know, today we live in a world where people will live by the the rising and setting of the sun, they'll live by the ritual of the moon, they'll go to church on a Sunday, they'll have an atheist podcast that they follow, they'll have like all sorts of different spiritual beliefs.
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Um, and none of them are right or wrong in the practice of finding freedom, you know, like people can use their energy and their attention in the right positive mental attitude to achieve and accomplish what is you know freedom and and fitness to them.
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And I think that's my key ingredient as a coach is to be able to not be judgmental, to not be leading um from a you know a headstrong-driven agenda that would perhaps um in a more toxic masculine culture that I've experienced, as we spoke about yesterday, whether that was in a religious institution or if it was in a sports team or if it was in a you know uh a rural or inner city setting, there's always space for healing.
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There's always space to identify what's been hurt and how to get to the other side of that healing journey.
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And so that fitness, and I know this sounds strange, but when you're working in sport and you're injured, you go to the physio, you get fixed.
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But if it's a mental issue, we may not deal with it, and it will sit, you know, on the sidelines.
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So having been a chaplain where I go to the injured players on the bench or I go to the individuals in my own sessions and I offer them uh, you know, in yoga, you offer an alternative stretch, and it's not offensive, it's actually encouraged, you know, user block.
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And and I wonder what that mental block is for us to receive that block to be able to practice our yoga, our discipline of physical movement in a positive way without getting in the way.
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So that's that's really my you know intention to bake for our dreams and those magical mantras that we were talking about when we set the intention for this call.
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Yeah.
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I feel like I want to amplify or or point something out that just felt really like an important piece of everything that you're talking about right now.
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And that is, you know, awareness and getting to the awareness for yourself always has our own biases, our own wounds, our own like whatever our own experiences, like our life experience.
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And bringing a coach in, bringing someone like you in, or someone like me in, or someone else who can offer that outside perspective and um maybe a more neutral one that isn't charged with all of the life experience is such a beautiful way for, like I said before, checks and balances.
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And I think sometimes, you know, like you laid out a beautiful plan that somebody could be like, oh, I can just do what he said.
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It's like, well, yes, maybe.
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And when we try and do it for ourselves without that external coach or mentor or teacher or guide, I think something gets lost in there.
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Like I, in my own experience and my experience in working with other people, I just find that how much you can do for yourself without outside support and someone offering you, hey, do you think maybe that comes from X?
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You know, does that come from Y?
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You know, is it possible that this might mean something different to you if we look at it in a different way?
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I just think without those questions from an outside source, it's really hard to get there on your own.
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And there's something about, and I don't know if it's just this culture, but I feel like we are a very, you know, do, do, do, go, go, go, don't ask for help culture.
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And I think there's something about like the asking for help that gets really challenging for people.
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And I don't know what the, I mean, I can make guesses at underlying meanings of that, but I feel like, why is it so hard for people to ask for help?
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And then when they do, why is it so hard for them to receive it?
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It's a yoga block.
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It makes you more comfortable in your physical body and maybe more uncomfortable in your mental body, depending on the work that you've done.
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Why is it so hard for us to receive it as humans?
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I don't know.
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That's where my brain went.
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Yeah, I think we we want to gravitate towards our own resolutions and and and we're shy to ask for help because it's a sign of weakness.
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And I think that because of the way the world has developed in such fast, rapid um technological and and transportational, and uh there's an instantaneous um resolution which AI or um reading a book or finding a you know YouTube video can resolve, asking a Google question.
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But when it's an inner work, a deep kind of you know, and this is subjective, but it's it's an internal process of shifting our thinking, and I think change is such a word that causes so much um denial or disruption that it's it's simply put in in my mindset that it's a pivot, and in basketball, in American football, in all of the like top sports, we pivot all the time, we change direction.
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And and that's why I've called like my second curriculum up that I offer the pivot to pivotal process, because you have to pivot to become pivotal, you know what I mean?
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Like you in order to like get from where you are to where you're going, that's the next step from the transformation.
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It's like to live that out on a daily basis.
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How do I go from here to get to to the next level?
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And that's a different question because a lot of people are in survival mode, right?
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And we're not firing on all cylinders, we're in survival mode, and that's the first process.
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That's why the transformation process is the key ingredient to identify what is it that we want to transform, first and foremost.
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What is it that's going wrong?
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And for me, it was my relationship to money, and it continues to be, but I'm working on it because I know what it is now.
00:26:39.119 --> 00:26:46.640
I was, in some regards, in my upbringing, shown that hard work will bring money.
00:26:46.880 --> 00:26:58.000
So, yeah, when we bring our own issues to light and being vulnerable and providing this example, I hope it breaks it down for people that you have to find your root cause.
00:26:58.079 --> 00:27:05.200
Like, what is the main issue that's causing you to stumble in all of your decision making?
00:27:05.839 --> 00:27:56.880
And so for me, it was my relationship to money, and first and foremost, it was that I was raised to believe that hard work would equal money, and that's a a very difficult rule to break because working hard and working smart are two different concepts, and I'm learning that, and and that's a daily battle to try to not just work hard for the sake of earning a dollar, but to actually think about how to work and using that intelligibly towards a goal of raising and earning more money each month, which we all know we want to go from a particular number to a higher number to the next level, and then to like from when being a child, like being given pocket money or being given money as a format of an exchange of in some regard, but not exclusively to that level.
00:27:57.039 --> 00:28:08.160
But the money was paying away responsibility or or paying as a form of love, you know, and and that's some people's love language is is using money as an expression of love, and that's not wrong.
00:28:08.400 --> 00:28:31.359
But if it's what you're bought up with to believe is the value of self-worth, that your worth is only as good as much how much money someone will give you, i.e., if you work hard, you you play hard, you you you know, you you you're gonna build everything based on that same value, and that's not the right mentality.
00:28:31.519 --> 00:29:01.839
You have to be able to build your worth from within, and you have to recognize that you're worth as much as anyone else, but that your your change, your shift will happen when you identify that the the value of what you provide, the value of who you are, the value of um how you see yourself in context to other things is what brings you um success because it's not giving the value and money that someone else puts a price on you for.
00:29:02.079 --> 00:29:04.559
As soon as you give that away, i.e.
00:29:04.799 --> 00:29:16.640
how much something is worth or how much you're worth, more importantly, then you lose the ability to be able to say that that's not enough, you know, or I am enough.
00:29:17.279 --> 00:29:31.519
And and oftentimes we'll seek approval from the the amount of money people are willing to pay, we'll lower our prices to meet what they say they're willing to pay based upon what we provide, and that shouldn't be what we do.
00:29:31.680 --> 00:29:47.279
If we're entrepreneurs, if we're negotiating salaries for a job, or if we're negotiating with our landlords for our rent, we should be telling them, not just according to our budget, but for what we can and what we are worth, you know.
00:29:47.359 --> 00:29:52.400
Um, and I think in all of those spaces you have to be able to like provide the right amount.
00:29:52.559 --> 00:30:01.119
And I when I charge for my coaching, I don't charge a lot of money because I want to be able to work with people who really need the help.
00:30:01.440 --> 00:30:09.920
Um and and and and the blue-collar worker, the middle class family is sometimes at the moment forgotten.
00:30:10.079 --> 00:30:30.000
And and so by targeting those people, not the rich or the poor, but not exclusively diluting to deny them access to my coaching, but to say that you know, this people group at the moment currently are potentially some of the most in-need persons in our culture because they're forgotten about.
00:30:30.240 --> 00:30:34.400
They're the ones paying the gas prices, they're the ones paying the grocery prices.
00:30:34.559 --> 00:31:05.519
If you go back to that idea that the middle class person, the middle class family, the blue-collar worker, will spend that five or ten dollars by going to the coffee shop to buy the cup of coffee to pay the barista, the you know, family that goes out for a meal at the local pub or the publican or the restaurant will be the ones that bring the meal to the bar staff, the kitchen staff, and then everybody everybody earns because the middle class are spending their money.
00:31:05.680 --> 00:31:27.920
If you stop your optician subscription because you can no longer afford the healthcare that is subjective to rise in November, even if we're receiving so much money from the government, the the guarantee is that in November your health prices are going to go up, your gas prices are still going to continue to rise, the economy will not recover because of a midterm election.
00:31:28.000 --> 00:31:37.279
Like there is a choice that we make when we decide not to go out for a meal that impacts the rest of the world.
00:31:37.440 --> 00:31:49.279
And if every family stays home and and and buying from the grocery store is just as expensive as eating out these days, it it just means that the local restaurant stands a chance of getting shut down.
00:31:49.519 --> 00:31:51.119
The grocery store still prospers.
00:31:51.200 --> 00:32:04.400
And we know that grocery stores, like from COVID times, target, you know, your Whole Foods, your Harris Titas did so well because they're the one places that we always go to to buy a lot of our things.
00:32:04.559 --> 00:32:19.680
But the local restaurant that you go to on a Friday night gets shut down because you stop going out for a meal because you can't afford the gas prices to go out and drive to it, and you can't afford the menu that the prices are now because they're more expensive than going to the grocery store.
00:32:20.000 --> 00:32:36.480
So when we, as coaches, have the opportunity to target families and individuals to make more valid and valuable decisions about how they spend their money or how they approach their outlook for life, they can earn more, which means we all earn more.
00:32:37.119 --> 00:32:46.799
And I think if you just target the rich and the poor, you're missing the the middle dollar, which is where the economy grows the most, is when that five or ten dollars gets spent.
00:32:46.960 --> 00:32:50.240
And that's how you you know you eradicate a recession.
00:32:50.400 --> 00:32:58.160
It's you know, the boom or bust theory is is subject to how much the rich and poor divide gets bigger.
00:32:58.240 --> 00:33:11.680
Um, and if we in the middle can support each other by being more intuitive and more wise and more um collective together, then that's great.
00:33:11.759 --> 00:33:30.880
And that's why women at the moment have have decided that we are female first, we are together, and girl to girl, lady to lady, we're gonna build this thing and bring the feminine to the forefront of everyone's mindset because we're gonna be so irresistible and irreplaceable that you can't move us.
00:33:31.119 --> 00:33:43.039
And that's why I want to help, because I feel like that ladies come together, they make choices, they're determined, they understand each other, they know their weaknesses, because they know each other, they know themselves.
00:33:43.279 --> 00:33:47.839
There's more of a sense that we have to look past these problems and get on with it.
00:33:48.000 --> 00:33:50.559
And I think that in the alpha world, that doesn't exist.
00:33:50.640 --> 00:34:00.160
Like we can't look past our problems, we can't get past the intricacies of this is mine and and and that's yours, and you can't take this, you can't take that.
00:34:00.319 --> 00:34:19.840
There's kind of like tit for tat play when really we need to, you know, not push the can down the road, but like pick up the can, stop littering and and start stopping loitering outside of people's places and pretending like you know, you keep going back to the same customers and asking them, why aren't you buying?
00:34:20.000 --> 00:34:20.960
Why aren't you buying?
00:34:21.199 --> 00:34:23.440
That's that's what a lot of guys are doing right now.
00:34:23.519 --> 00:34:40.960
They're going back to the same customers that were bringing in business and they're hitting a brick wall, whereas ladies are like saying to each other, let's trade, you and I, let's give the gift of my training for your training, and we'll learn and grow and be better, and then we can go out together collaboratively and earn money.
00:34:41.199 --> 00:34:50.960
And and that's how you break down the differences between the nuances of um you know the idolization that I am the answer to your problem.
00:34:51.119 --> 00:34:59.599
And as soon as we create that alpha mantra, we lose the ability to bake an intention for the future, which is healing and not hurting others.
00:34:59.840 --> 00:35:02.639
So you check out your Instagram reels, you'll see it.
00:35:02.719 --> 00:35:03.440
It's right there.
00:35:03.840 --> 00:35:10.400
Yeah, that's the that's the kind of and I I'm not in that circle, but my feed is trending with it.
00:35:10.480 --> 00:35:11.360
So what do I do?
00:35:11.519 --> 00:35:24.639
I I like, I follow, and I share, and and and I've gone from like you know, I think I had 8,000 to like now following 11,000 people because Instagram has enabled me to follow that many people.
00:35:24.800 --> 00:35:35.360
But when I see something and I think it's worthy of and not in my eyes, but like the attention, the the detail, the the quality of what they've put out is so good.
00:35:35.519 --> 00:35:47.840
Even if they've only got a hundred or a a thousand or or of you know ten, to just like and follow and share and encourage is so much better than being negative and writing a derogatory comment.
00:35:48.079 --> 00:36:04.960
Yeah, you know, like and that's the difference when you use the reels and your algorithms to your advantage and being feminine, even in the parts of our society which we wish weren't true, to be closer to the outcomes of a transformation from pivot to pivotal, you know.
00:36:05.679 --> 00:36:07.519
That feels like a great place to wrap it up.
00:36:07.599 --> 00:36:09.119
I know we have a time crunch.
00:36:09.679 --> 00:36:10.320
Yes, ma'am.
00:36:10.719 --> 00:36:12.400
I appreciate you being here today.
00:36:12.480 --> 00:36:13.840
Thank you so much, TJ.
00:36:14.480 --> 00:36:14.719
Yeah.
00:36:14.960 --> 00:36:16.480
Will you say how people get a hold of you?
00:36:16.559 --> 00:36:17.519
How can they find you?
00:36:17.840 --> 00:36:18.719
Yeah, of course.
00:36:18.880 --> 00:36:23.280
Um, please follow me on Instagram at feminine free and fit, and I will follow you back.
00:36:23.599 --> 00:36:27.920
Um, and text me 201-774-4133.
00:36:28.000 --> 00:36:32.639
I'm not afraid of receiving numbers that maybe uh you know I shouldn't.
00:36:32.800 --> 00:36:36.880
But if you are calling me cold, just text me first and then call me.
00:36:37.199 --> 00:36:38.079
Beautiful.
00:36:38.320 --> 00:36:38.960
I love it.
00:36:39.119 --> 00:36:39.920
Thank you.
00:00:01.919 --> 00:00:08.400
Hi, and welcome to Hypothetically Intentional, where we ask the question what if we set intentions with everything we do?
00:00:08.560 --> 00:00:11.839
I'm your host, Michelle Albers, and today I have Coach TJ with me.
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Welcome, Coach.
00:00:13.519 --> 00:00:15.039
Hey, Michelle, great to be with you.
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Thanks for having me today.
00:00:16.480 --> 00:00:18.000
It's great to have you here, TJ.
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Uh, rumor has it you're open to setting an intention for us today.
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Yes, I accept that challenge.
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Um, so our intention for today is called bake an intention.
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Setting an intention to heal, help others, or reach new heights draws supportive energy to your causes now.
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Bake a comforting intention into you, anything you do, from managing your day to going after your most delicious dreams, like adding ingredients to a recipe.
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Keep intentions simple and straightforward to easily recall these magical mantras and call in what you need.
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Wise intentions include the best interests of all.
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It's like you're meant to be here.
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That's so aligned with the intentions of this podcast.
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Thanks for being here.
00:01:11.120 --> 00:01:12.159
Yeah, no problem.
00:01:12.319 --> 00:01:14.000
Um pleased to be here.
00:01:15.120 --> 00:01:26.319
That uh I like the the visual of baking intentions into or putting intentions into like everything that you're creating, right?
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I think that's really cool.
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Yeah.
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So to kick things off, Coach TJ is vague.
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I mean, it's not, it's pretty descriptive, but I would love to hear really more about what coach TJ means.
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What kind of coach?
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How how does that fit into your life and also your journey?
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Yeah, I mean, a coach in principle to me is someone who facilitates the the services or products that they're offering.
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Um and I offer multiple different services, but to particularly one audience.
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Um my main focus is in providing family and females with support for their daily lives.
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Um, so whether that comes from scheduling um to you know after school care or uh a very simple budget management task or activity, that's the type of work that I'm doing, is trying to help you know key decision makers in the family who are intentional about how they would like their family, their life, their kind of dreams, if you like, um, to bake an intention in that way, to try to heal, help others reach new heights, um, and and coaching through the different kind of mediums that I offer to the individuals themselves and what they need.
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And that starts from being a coach where I was a personal trainer at the initial meeting where you have that kind of you know, fitness testing, you know, previous injuries, and I'm asking all those types of questions as if I was a personal trainer, but then applying them to my experience as a teacher, um, to a pastor, to the life stage that they're at.
00:03:23.919 --> 00:03:40.080
So I'm kind of trying to explore and examine um, you know, the stage that they're at as an individual, and then the stage that their family is at, and then the collective of being a wellness concierge to their needs.
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Um, and that can be me um solely.
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Sometimes I take families and I, you know, I will coach the parents, I will coach the children, and I will work with them through particular life stages, whether that's you know the end of life for an elderly member of their family, or if it's a first communion, or a premarital wedding vow, or if it's a um, you know, a new business starting cash flow forecasting.
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So all of those things come into kind of a wellness holistic coach.
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Um, I was recently at a a conference in Miami, and and when speaking with people, they were just just in awe of what I was saying, but they said you're basically an all in one family wellness concierge.
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Um, and I would say that that's that's fairly accurate, you know, a family and female oriented coach.
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That's amazing.
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It's funny because what you just said that about how they said, you know, you it's like the whole family.
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What I heard in what you were saying, it sounds like broad, but it doesn't feel that way.
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It's like you're a whole picture, a whole picture coach, but in a way that can be very niched in or really zoned into what one person or one family might need to support them.
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I love what you said, in their dreams, in their goals, in how they want to live in the world.
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Yeah, and I think that um the feminine part of that, you know, that we've we've had a previous podcast recording where we talked about that.
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And I think that the nurturing part of me being a coach um is really important.
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Um, and for some people in their families, they do not have uh a male figure um to whatever degree that may be, and and actually they would like someone out of curiosity, tradition, or just where there seems to be some form of a void, uh, often for boys, um for for parents who are single mums or grandparents or you know, widows or orphans or divorcees or refugees or expats who tend to be the kind of key decision makers for families in a single parent household that I'm working with.
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Um they tend to want to not have somebody come in and tell them what to do, but to have somebody who's a safe pair of hands offer them a different perspective in both uh, you know, I guess um the body of who I am in in my alpha or in my masculine, but to also be balanced and to not just be headstrong, but to listen, to hear, and to help draw out, facilitate the kind of listening ear, if you like, to the nurture and the nature of the needs of the whole family and the familial experience, you know.
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Um, and I think that is so important today because um whether or not you're struggling with your child having a neurodivergent developmental challenge, or if you're having, you know, to start off in a new way, whether that's in a a new home, a new job, a new entrepreneurial experience, a new city.
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There's so much external factors, you know, the strengths, weaknesses, the opportunities, and threats which deter you and distract you when you're in that first three to six month phase.
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I come in for six to twelve weeks and I try to really kind of like put everything in a fresh perspective, balance out the books or the schedule or the family priorities to meet their needs right where they're at, without kind of um ignoring emotions or feelings, and actually essentially um bringing them to the center of the root cause of what's denying them the freedom of the you know the feminine free and fit parts of my coaching, um, which which I hope brings that whole package, the six to twelve week experience with me um to fruition and completion of them resolving that and and really having independence from there on so that they're not reliant upon me as their coach all year round, but but after six to twelve weeks they can go about getting on with their lives and living together as a family as one.
00:08:01.519 --> 00:08:02.000
Yeah.
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I like your definition of coach.
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I I appreciate that you broke it down and and shared what that means to you because it feels very much like a co-creation and checks and balances and really insight and wisdom versus like pointing a finger and telling people what to do, which is not what I think of as coaching, and I don't think most people do anymore.
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But I think there sometimes is that view that coaching means, oh, somebody's just gonna tell me what to do.
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And that's that's not at all what you're talking about.
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And I think that feels very empowering to me.
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Like, you know, the families and the people that you work with get to have a major role in their decisions, but you help them find that grounded place of you know, an um emotionally regulated response versus maybe a heated reaction.
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Yeah, and and I think like if you imagine you're opening a new restaurant, right, and you're you're starting out your day one, you've got all the uh stuff, you have your kitchen set up, you've been legally cleared by the state for the building to go ahead, everything's ready, like you've done all your recruitment, you've got all your tables ready, the restaurant's been rebranded and molded to the the desired cuisine that you would like, but you haven't got your menu.
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You know, like you're ready to open the doors, everybody's there, the customers have been targeted, there's people lining up, everything is ready, but you don't know what your ingredients are, and you haven't got a menu to give to them when they come in the door.
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And so I'm just trying to, like we said about baking and intention, right?
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It's like bringing the menu, telling them, you know, repeating back to them the order, and then giving them the ingredients to go and cook the thing and live it out, you know.
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Like that's that's a way of just try to really like explain it in practical and I guess both metaphorical and physical terms so that people can understand.
00:10:07.120 --> 00:10:11.039
I think that's so helpful because everyone learns and receives differently.
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So to have words that break it down simply without the metaphor, but then also the metaphor for the visual learners and audio learners out there.
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I don't know.
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I think that's a good thing when we can it also shows that like you have a clear understanding in how you show up and what you offer, because you can explain it in a bunch of different ways.
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And I know that sounds like a weird thing to say, but I think sometimes putting this kind of thing into words can be really challenging.
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And I don't know if that's because the creative feminine, to bring it back to that, you know, kind of gets in the way and gets a little too creative, or if the masculine gets in the way and tries to get too logical and the two can't braid together and craft something that hits both, you know.
00:10:56.879 --> 00:10:57.519
Yeah.
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Um, and I think when we spoke yesterday, we talked a little bit about kind of the healing part of um the coach and and how you nurse into action.
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Um, and I feel like that part of any family is that there is a need for kind of um a balance of clear decision making with emotional nurture, and that nursing into action kind of I think it's the remedy for like the the headstrong alpha to the you know sensitive considerable emotions and feelings type paralysis analysis, you know, like when we try to consider everybody.
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Um, I'm a nine on the Enneagram, so like I draw a lot of like ideas from listening and hearing everybody, but ultimately I have to be able to find um a resolute response in spite of you know all the different voices in the room, all the different categories of choices I could make and be clear and decisive in what I need to get done.
00:12:06.720 --> 00:12:16.480
And I think that balance comes when you take on the nurturing perspective of the matriarchal care and compassion.
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Because when somebody is heard, they can then articulate truly what it is that they want in a given scenario, circumstance, or or situation.
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And if you don't have that space to be heard, or if you don't have the ability to kind of decipher what is in your uh you know, your ingredients, you can't bake the cake.
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You've you've got to be able to see, you know, everything broken down.
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And if there's a secret uh recipe, um, it's not for disaster, it's it's truly for you know the best tasting experience that that life can give you when you have the matriarchal and patriarchal balance of feminine and masculine traits as one, but oftentimes it takes the feminine to identify the masculine imbalance because we can't have one without the other.
00:13:17.200 --> 00:13:28.559
Um it means in some ways that in order to create, we have to get soft so that we can get ready, you know.
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Like we have to soften, we have to surrender, we have to come back to the center of who we are to find out where we want to go and and how to do that.
00:13:38.399 --> 00:13:46.559
Yeah, so I talk about something called the transformation process, which is kind of like identifying the modality.
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Um, how do you move forward?
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You know, the the why is always imperative to find out, but the how is the first step in that journey.
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So we go through the how of what we're gonna do in the modality, we then look at the the the where, which is the median, like where do we find space, where do we find opportunity, where do we find the the solution to these issues that keep arising?
00:14:13.039 --> 00:14:23.360
And we find in the median and the modality the kind of way forward of how we work together from that first meeting, in that first kind of hour that you meet with me.
00:14:23.440 --> 00:14:26.159
We'll have a 15-minute like self-discovery call.
00:14:26.399 --> 00:14:46.000
The first session in the six-part transformation process is to identify, like I said, the personal training questions, the fitness testing, the spiritual testing, the social testing, and the mental testing of all of the things which are going on, and then breaking that down into kind of like a schedule so you can set it forth.
00:14:46.080 --> 00:14:47.840
What does your average week look like?
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Writing it down from like noon in in midnight to noon midnight again, the 24-hour day for each day to then see this is what I've done in the past two weeks.
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Writing it down, keeping a journal, identifying what happens, and then drawing out into the next two weeks a better way forward.
00:15:07.679 --> 00:15:21.279
So you're kind of mapping it out, you're identifying the detail, and you're drawing to your attention the where things need attention, where there's space for that attention to be given, and where it's possible to make changes.
00:15:21.519 --> 00:15:36.159
Um, and then we travel through like two sessions in the middle, which are all about the kind of the why, and that why is all about the the contributing factors which are external in the first session, and then the externals drawn into the internal.
00:15:36.320 --> 00:15:49.919
Because if we look at ourselves first, we kind of I don't know, we have a blame culture in society, so we always want to take something away from it being our own fault.
00:15:50.080 --> 00:15:55.919
So if you look at all of the external factors and you state them what they are, you make them clear and they're out on the table.
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When you come to the parts that are yourself, you've already identified all of the reasons which you would explain away, if you know what I mean, like the the excuses that you would give, and you can I can just draw from what they've said that we know that this factor is why you're saying that.
00:16:12.399 --> 00:16:14.480
But really, for you, what's happening?
00:16:14.559 --> 00:16:56.879
Like, talk to me more, like tell me how I can help you identify if we take these external factors out, what's truly going on in your heart, what's truly going on in your body, in your mind, in your soul, and through breathing, through meditation, through you know, just reflective practitioner listening, you're able to draw out of the individual some of the common themes which um you've done today in this podcast by asking me directly about being a coach and asking me directly about the response to that when you you come to me as a client or a customer, what does that look like and how does that affect the the life and how does the process work and what does that bring me?
00:16:56.960 --> 00:16:57.759
So that's the why.
00:16:57.840 --> 00:17:08.720
And then you know, you you really having looked at the how, the where and the why, it's it's the when, you know, like when do you want to make that decision to make this different?
00:17:08.799 --> 00:17:14.160
And and at that fourth session, I will not book the fifth session until the individual is ready.
00:17:14.319 --> 00:17:19.359
So I go away and I give them my scheduling link and I say, Hey, we've reached this point.
00:17:19.599 --> 00:17:27.839
Now you have this opportunity to either go and live out for two weeks and then come back to me, or to go and get it done and do it straight away.
00:17:27.920 --> 00:17:40.400
And and sometimes I do a six-day intensive, and when I do that six-day intensive, I tell them at the start, this is the map, on day four, you're gonna have some really hard soul searching to do overnight.
00:17:40.559 --> 00:17:44.240
So you have to make sure that that night, that evening is yours.
00:17:44.480 --> 00:17:55.440
So whenever we do the six-day plan, I make sure that that individual has that evening free for themselves to do that inner work to clear their diary and to find the answers to the results they're seeking.
00:17:55.599 --> 00:18:10.160
And then that that bring that brings out the you know the when, and like from the when session five, we they decide what action they're gonna take, and they know the how, they know the why, they know the where, they know the when.
00:18:10.480 --> 00:18:18.079
And then so then section six is all about the what, you know, like what what is gonna be different if I know all of this information?
00:18:18.319 --> 00:18:20.960
You know, what is gonna happen, what am I gonna do?
00:18:21.119 --> 00:18:39.759
Where where is the how, why, when gonna take me to my what I'm gonna do now to to the end, and that kind of brings out the the feminine free and fit in all of us because when you identify to the feminine, if you're a male or a female, it's the most forgotten part of our DNA.
00:18:39.920 --> 00:18:48.880
Um, and that's not an offensive person as a female because they will tell you I've been operating in my alpha way too much.
00:18:49.039 --> 00:19:08.480
And a lady or a a mom or a a doer, if you like, will always come back to the identity that they know they need to soften and surrender more to identify and draw out of themselves truly what they're you know wanting out of life or what they're wanting out of the current circumstance or situation that they're in.
00:19:08.720 --> 00:19:12.880
So that's the feminine part, and that's why it's upfront, intentional, and and out there.
00:19:13.039 --> 00:19:20.640
It's not to be like as much as I love wearing pink and being bright and neon with it, it's not the detail of what I'm trying to do.
00:19:20.720 --> 00:19:45.359
I'm just trying to identify to us that we all need that tree that we have in our local neighborhood that we look at, that we go to to center, to meditate, to soften, to surrender to the circumstance so that we can get back to ourselves and then live out breathing, you know, with intention, the the you know, healing and and and the new heights we want to reach as we bake our intention for the future.
00:19:45.519 --> 00:19:51.359
So I think that dream of like being feminine, free, and fit for me is a daily battle.
00:19:51.519 --> 00:20:02.559
Um, and the the freedom comes in knowing that that is the case, and that we've been given the freedom of another day, we've been given the freedom of another opportunity to live on this earth.
00:20:02.880 --> 00:20:17.920
And the fitness comes with you know that identity that I spoke to you about yesterday that the World Health Organization defines being fit as physical, mental, and social, and I add the spiritual element to it, which to each individual is wildly different.
00:20:18.000 --> 00:20:35.039
You know, today we live in a world where people will live by the the rising and setting of the sun, they'll live by the ritual of the moon, they'll go to church on a Sunday, they'll have an atheist podcast that they follow, they'll have like all sorts of different spiritual beliefs.
00:20:35.119 --> 00:20:51.359
Um, and none of them are right or wrong in the practice of finding freedom, you know, like people can use their energy and their attention in the right positive mental attitude to achieve and accomplish what is you know freedom and and fitness to them.
00:20:51.519 --> 00:21:23.839
And I think that's my key ingredient as a coach is to be able to not be judgmental, to not be leading um from a you know a headstrong-driven agenda that would perhaps um in a more toxic masculine culture that I've experienced, as we spoke about yesterday, whether that was in a religious institution or if it was in a sports team or if it was in a you know uh a rural or inner city setting, there's always space for healing.
00:21:24.000 --> 00:21:29.359
There's always space to identify what's been hurt and how to get to the other side of that healing journey.
00:21:29.519 --> 00:21:37.680
And so that fitness, and I know this sounds strange, but when you're working in sport and you're injured, you go to the physio, you get fixed.
00:21:37.759 --> 00:21:43.039
But if it's a mental issue, we may not deal with it, and it will sit, you know, on the sidelines.
00:21:43.119 --> 00:21:59.599
So having been a chaplain where I go to the injured players on the bench or I go to the individuals in my own sessions and I offer them uh, you know, in yoga, you offer an alternative stretch, and it's not offensive, it's actually encouraged, you know, user block.
00:22:00.640 --> 00:22:15.039
And and I wonder what that mental block is for us to receive that block to be able to practice our yoga, our discipline of physical movement in a positive way without getting in the way.
00:22:15.839 --> 00:22:26.240
So that's that's really my you know intention to bake for our dreams and those magical mantras that we were talking about when we set the intention for this call.
00:22:27.119 --> 00:22:27.680
Yeah.
00:22:27.920 --> 00:22:37.440
I feel like I want to amplify or or point something out that just felt really like an important piece of everything that you're talking about right now.
00:22:37.519 --> 00:22:49.680
And that is, you know, awareness and getting to the awareness for yourself always has our own biases, our own wounds, our own like whatever our own experiences, like our life experience.
00:22:49.920 --> 00:23:07.279
And bringing a coach in, bringing someone like you in, or someone like me in, or someone else who can offer that outside perspective and um maybe a more neutral one that isn't charged with all of the life experience is such a beautiful way for, like I said before, checks and balances.
00:23:07.359 --> 00:23:14.079
And I think sometimes, you know, like you laid out a beautiful plan that somebody could be like, oh, I can just do what he said.
00:23:14.240 --> 00:23:16.640
It's like, well, yes, maybe.
00:23:16.960 --> 00:23:27.200
And when we try and do it for ourselves without that external coach or mentor or teacher or guide, I think something gets lost in there.
00:23:27.359 --> 00:23:40.480
Like I, in my own experience and my experience in working with other people, I just find that how much you can do for yourself without outside support and someone offering you, hey, do you think maybe that comes from X?
00:23:40.640 --> 00:23:42.160
You know, does that come from Y?
00:23:42.640 --> 00:23:47.200
You know, is it possible that this might mean something different to you if we look at it in a different way?
00:23:47.359 --> 00:23:53.119
I just think without those questions from an outside source, it's really hard to get there on your own.
00:23:53.200 --> 00:24:01.440
And there's something about, and I don't know if it's just this culture, but I feel like we are a very, you know, do, do, do, go, go, go, don't ask for help culture.
00:24:01.599 --> 00:24:07.039
And I think there's something about like the asking for help that gets really challenging for people.
00:24:07.200 --> 00:24:16.240
And I don't know what the, I mean, I can make guesses at underlying meanings of that, but I feel like, why is it so hard for people to ask for help?
00:24:16.319 --> 00:24:18.720
And then when they do, why is it so hard for them to receive it?
00:24:18.799 --> 00:24:19.839
It's a yoga block.
00:24:20.000 --> 00:24:27.039
It makes you more comfortable in your physical body and maybe more uncomfortable in your mental body, depending on the work that you've done.
00:24:27.200 --> 00:24:29.680
Why is it so hard for us to receive it as humans?
00:24:29.920 --> 00:24:30.400
I don't know.
00:24:30.480 --> 00:24:31.839
That's where my brain went.
00:24:32.640 --> 00:24:44.799
Yeah, I think we we want to gravitate towards our own resolutions and and and we're shy to ask for help because it's a sign of weakness.
00:24:45.519 --> 00:25:13.759
And I think that because of the way the world has developed in such fast, rapid um technological and and transportational, and uh there's an instantaneous um resolution which AI or um reading a book or finding a you know YouTube video can resolve, asking a Google question.
00:25:14.160 --> 00:25:50.240
But when it's an inner work, a deep kind of you know, and this is subjective, but it's it's an internal process of shifting our thinking, and I think change is such a word that causes so much um denial or disruption that it's it's simply put in in my mindset that it's a pivot, and in basketball, in American football, in all of the like top sports, we pivot all the time, we change direction.
00:25:50.720 --> 00:26:00.720
And and that's why I've called like my second curriculum up that I offer the pivot to pivotal process, because you have to pivot to become pivotal, you know what I mean?
00:26:00.880 --> 00:26:07.839
Like you in order to like get from where you are to where you're going, that's the next step from the transformation.
00:26:07.920 --> 00:26:11.039
It's like to live that out on a daily basis.
00:26:11.200 --> 00:26:14.799
How do I go from here to get to to the next level?
00:26:15.039 --> 00:26:18.799
And that's a different question because a lot of people are in survival mode, right?
00:26:18.960 --> 00:26:23.599
And we're not firing on all cylinders, we're in survival mode, and that's the first process.
00:26:23.680 --> 00:26:31.119
That's why the transformation process is the key ingredient to identify what is it that we want to transform, first and foremost.
00:26:31.279 --> 00:26:32.880
What is it that's going wrong?
00:26:33.119 --> 00:26:38.880
And for me, it was my relationship to money, and it continues to be, but I'm working on it because I know what it is now.
00:26:39.119 --> 00:26:46.640
I was, in some regards, in my upbringing, shown that hard work will bring money.
00:26:46.880 --> 00:26:58.000
So, yeah, when we bring our own issues to light and being vulnerable and providing this example, I hope it breaks it down for people that you have to find your root cause.
00:26:58.079 --> 00:27:05.200
Like, what is the main issue that's causing you to stumble in all of your decision making?
00:27:05.839 --> 00:27:56.880
And so for me, it was my relationship to money, and first and foremost, it was that I was raised to believe that hard work would equal money, and that's a a very difficult rule to break because working hard and working smart are two different concepts, and I'm learning that, and and that's a daily battle to try to not just work hard for the sake of earning a dollar, but to actually think about how to work and using that intelligibly towards a goal of raising and earning more money each month, which we all know we want to go from a particular number to a higher number to the next level, and then to like from when being a child, like being given pocket money or being given money as a format of an exchange of in some regard, but not exclusively to that level.
00:27:57.039 --> 00:28:08.160
But the money was paying away responsibility or or paying as a form of love, you know, and and that's some people's love language is is using money as an expression of love, and that's not wrong.
00:28:08.400 --> 00:28:31.359
But if it's what you're bought up with to believe is the value of self-worth, that your worth is only as good as much how much money someone will give you, i.e., if you work hard, you you play hard, you you you know, you you you're gonna build everything based on that same value, and that's not the right mentality.
00:28:31.519 --> 00:29:01.839
You have to be able to build your worth from within, and you have to recognize that you're worth as much as anyone else, but that your your change, your shift will happen when you identify that the the value of what you provide, the value of who you are, the value of um how you see yourself in context to other things is what brings you um success because it's not giving the value and money that someone else puts a price on you for.
00:29:02.079 --> 00:29:04.559
As soon as you give that away, i.e.
00:29:04.799 --> 00:29:16.640
how much something is worth or how much you're worth, more importantly, then you lose the ability to be able to say that that's not enough, you know, or I am enough.
00:29:17.279 --> 00:29:31.519
And and oftentimes we'll seek approval from the the amount of money people are willing to pay, we'll lower our prices to meet what they say they're willing to pay based upon what we provide, and that shouldn't be what we do.
00:29:31.680 --> 00:29:47.279
If we're entrepreneurs, if we're negotiating salaries for a job, or if we're negotiating with our landlords for our rent, we should be telling them, not just according to our budget, but for what we can and what we are worth, you know.
00:29:47.359 --> 00:29:52.400
Um, and I think in all of those spaces you have to be able to like provide the right amount.
00:29:52.559 --> 00:30:01.119
And I when I charge for my coaching, I don't charge a lot of money because I want to be able to work with people who really need the help.
00:30:01.440 --> 00:30:09.920
Um and and and and the blue-collar worker, the middle class family is sometimes at the moment forgotten.
00:30:10.079 --> 00:30:30.000
And and so by targeting those people, not the rich or the poor, but not exclusively diluting to deny them access to my coaching, but to say that you know, this people group at the moment currently are potentially some of the most in-need persons in our culture because they're forgotten about.
00:30:30.240 --> 00:30:34.400
They're the ones paying the gas prices, they're the ones paying the grocery prices.
00:30:34.559 --> 00:31:05.519
If you go back to that idea that the middle class person, the middle class family, the blue-collar worker, will spend that five or ten dollars by going to the coffee shop to buy the cup of coffee to pay the barista, the you know, family that goes out for a meal at the local pub or the publican or the restaurant will be the ones that bring the meal to the bar staff, the kitchen staff, and then everybody everybody earns because the middle class are spending their money.
00:31:05.680 --> 00:31:27.920
If you stop your optician subscription because you can no longer afford the healthcare that is subjective to rise in November, even if we're receiving so much money from the government, the the guarantee is that in November your health prices are going to go up, your gas prices are still going to continue to rise, the economy will not recover because of a midterm election.
00:31:28.000 --> 00:31:37.279
Like there is a choice that we make when we decide not to go out for a meal that impacts the rest of the world.
00:31:37.440 --> 00:31:49.279
And if every family stays home and and and buying from the grocery store is just as expensive as eating out these days, it it just means that the local restaurant stands a chance of getting shut down.
00:31:49.519 --> 00:31:51.119
The grocery store still prospers.
00:31:51.200 --> 00:32:04.400
And we know that grocery stores, like from COVID times, target, you know, your Whole Foods, your Harris Titas did so well because they're the one places that we always go to to buy a lot of our things.
00:32:04.559 --> 00:32:19.680
But the local restaurant that you go to on a Friday night gets shut down because you stop going out for a meal because you can't afford the gas prices to go out and drive to it, and you can't afford the menu that the prices are now because they're more expensive than going to the grocery store.
00:32:20.000 --> 00:32:36.480
So when we, as coaches, have the opportunity to target families and individuals to make more valid and valuable decisions about how they spend their money or how they approach their outlook for life, they can earn more, which means we all earn more.
00:32:37.119 --> 00:32:46.799
And I think if you just target the rich and the poor, you're missing the the middle dollar, which is where the economy grows the most, is when that five or ten dollars gets spent.
00:32:46.960 --> 00:32:50.240
And that's how you you know you eradicate a recession.
00:32:50.400 --> 00:32:58.160
It's you know, the boom or bust theory is is subject to how much the rich and poor divide gets bigger.
00:32:58.240 --> 00:33:11.680
Um, and if we in the middle can support each other by being more intuitive and more wise and more um collective together, then that's great.
00:33:11.759 --> 00:33:30.880
And that's why women at the moment have have decided that we are female first, we are together, and girl to girl, lady to lady, we're gonna build this thing and bring the feminine to the forefront of everyone's mindset because we're gonna be so irresistible and irreplaceable that you can't move us.
00:33:31.119 --> 00:33:43.039
And that's why I want to help, because I feel like that ladies come together, they make choices, they're determined, they understand each other, they know their weaknesses, because they know each other, they know themselves.
00:33:43.279 --> 00:33:47.839
There's more of a sense that we have to look past these problems and get on with it.
00:33:48.000 --> 00:33:50.559
And I think that in the alpha world, that doesn't exist.
00:33:50.640 --> 00:34:00.160
Like we can't look past our problems, we can't get past the intricacies of this is mine and and and that's yours, and you can't take this, you can't take that.
00:34:00.319 --> 00:34:19.840
There's kind of like tit for tat play when really we need to, you know, not push the can down the road, but like pick up the can, stop littering and and start stopping loitering outside of people's places and pretending like you know, you keep going back to the same customers and asking them, why aren't you buying?
00:34:20.000 --> 00:34:20.960
Why aren't you buying?
00:34:21.199 --> 00:34:23.440
That's that's what a lot of guys are doing right now.
00:34:23.519 --> 00:34:40.960
They're going back to the same customers that were bringing in business and they're hitting a brick wall, whereas ladies are like saying to each other, let's trade, you and I, let's give the gift of my training for your training, and we'll learn and grow and be better, and then we can go out together collaboratively and earn money.
00:34:41.199 --> 00:34:50.960
And and that's how you break down the differences between the nuances of um you know the idolization that I am the answer to your problem.
00:34:51.119 --> 00:34:59.599
And as soon as we create that alpha mantra, we lose the ability to bake an intention for the future, which is healing and not hurting others.
00:34:59.840 --> 00:35:02.639
So you check out your Instagram reels, you'll see it.
00:35:02.719 --> 00:35:03.440
It's right there.
00:35:03.840 --> 00:35:10.400
Yeah, that's the that's the kind of and I I'm not in that circle, but my feed is trending with it.
00:35:10.480 --> 00:35:11.360
So what do I do?
00:35:11.519 --> 00:35:24.639
I I like, I follow, and I share, and and and I've gone from like you know, I think I had 8,000 to like now following 11,000 people because Instagram has enabled me to follow that many people.
00:35:24.800 --> 00:35:35.360
But when I see something and I think it's worthy of and not in my eyes, but like the attention, the the detail, the the quality of what they've put out is so good.
00:35:35.519 --> 00:35:47.840
Even if they've only got a hundred or a a thousand or or of you know ten, to just like and follow and share and encourage is so much better than being negative and writing a derogatory comment.
00:35:48.079 --> 00:36:04.960
Yeah, you know, like and that's the difference when you use the reels and your algorithms to your advantage and being feminine, even in the parts of our society which we wish weren't true, to be closer to the outcomes of a transformation from pivot to pivotal, you know.
00:36:05.679 --> 00:36:07.519
That feels like a great place to wrap it up.
00:36:07.599 --> 00:36:09.119
I know we have a time crunch.
00:36:09.679 --> 00:36:10.320
Yes, ma'am.
00:36:10.719 --> 00:36:12.400
I appreciate you being here today.
00:36:12.480 --> 00:36:13.840
Thank you so much, TJ.
00:36:14.480 --> 00:36:14.719
Yeah.
00:36:14.960 --> 00:36:16.480
Will you say how people get a hold of you?
00:36:16.559 --> 00:36:17.519
How can they find you?
00:36:17.840 --> 00:36:18.719
Yeah, of course.
00:36:18.880 --> 00:36:23.280
Um, please follow me on Instagram at feminine free and fit, and I will follow you back.
00:36:23.599 --> 00:36:27.920
Um, and text me 201-774-4133.
00:36:28.000 --> 00:36:32.639
I'm not afraid of receiving numbers that maybe uh you know I shouldn't.
00:36:32.800 --> 00:36:36.880
But if you are calling me cold, just text me first and then call me.
00:36:37.199 --> 00:36:38.079
Beautiful.
00:36:38.320 --> 00:36:38.960
I love it.
00:36:39.119 --> 00:36:39.920
Thank you.
