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Hi, and welcome to a bonus episode of Podcaster Stories.
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This episode is from my previous show, a least through
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a drum, which I sunsetted earlier this year to fully
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concentrate on Podcaster Stories and It I speak to Josh,
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carve-in a thread and a colleague who I've known for
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a few years. Who's agreed in district pro over in
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the U S Joshua has a podcast called the WeScape
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podcast that talks about both the grid industry and itself.
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And also I'm dealing with mental health issues while, you
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know, trying to raise a family and runner up. I
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saw all business. It's a real interesting chart with a
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lot of great takeaways, both for business owners and for
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people that have mental health issues.
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I hope you enjoy this episode. Hello and welcome to
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Podcaster Stories each week we'll have a conversation about podcasts.
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It was across all mediums and share their story. What
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motivates them, why they started to heal as a group.
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And More also talk about their personal lives and some
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of the things that have happened that made them the
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person in the afternoon. And now here's your host. Danny
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Brown.
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I would say the focus of being conscious now in
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the admitting to myself, the, you know, if there's issues
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and I have to focus and I have to figure
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myself out and you know, a lot of things can
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Sue me. And I think one of the biggest things
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for me business was figuring out and in developing the
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ability to take the emotion out of business. And that's
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a lot of what I did is through the day
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I, you know, I'm a bad phone, God carry on
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with that with me all day, you know, my numbers
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were down for the quarter, right. You know, I I'd
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be flipping out and, and it's good to be like
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that to your conscious of what you're business is doing.
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But at the end of the day, you have to
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cut that cord and realized you don't take that with
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you, you know,
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Welcome to life through a DRAM where Danny, Brown shared
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his take on life, being a better person and appreciating
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the here and now all accompanied by a DRAM at
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a fine single malt whiskey. And now here's your host
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Danny Brown Hi guys. And welcome to another episode of
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live through a drum this week, I've got a returning
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guest from an earlier show, the sheer Josh Currivan who,
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when he was on the last time we spoke about
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his mental health fair battles. If you're like, and you
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know, he was growing up until this time, you know,
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and various and institutions and how he's, you know, overcome
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that to launch our successful business.
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Today, you want to catch up call, I've got to
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catch up a chart, I guess a we're gonna sort
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of revisit that a bit and talk about how that
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plays into entrepreneurship and how, you know, dealing with mental
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health issues plays into a run and grow on a
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business. So Josh, welcome to the show. It's been a
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while and it has to do. And how are you
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doing? Oh, I'm good, man. I am good. And I
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know that we were searching it. And just before the
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show here, you are saying that the way are there,
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so it kept you fairly quiet in the last month
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or so. Definitely.
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Yes. So we were, we, we usually gauge to, to
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really focus on snow work over here in Northeast, Massachusetts
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from January to about March. And it's been pretty mild
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this month or so we haven't done much action as
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far as getting out and to any snow removal.
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Yeah, I can imagine. And like you said, we, we
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had a, a whole bunch here, so I'll try send
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some of your way if you want to do that.
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So what I'm planning of the guests are S are
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there any of the listener's that, you know, aren't aware
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of you or didn't catch up with the last show,
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et cetera. How about introducing yourself a little bit of
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background on who you are and what you,
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Yeah, definitely. So again, Josh Caribbean, I live in Northeast,
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Massachusetts, and I own a, a, a, a landscape construction
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company over here that services are about 20 miles around
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of the greater Boston area. If you didn't listen to
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the last podcast, it kinda spoke briefly about my battles
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with a mental health childhood trauma, and kind of develop
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an into a, a, a, a grown-up and the obstacles
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that that took. And I think that's what we're gonna
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chat a little about today is a, you know, over
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coming in the past couple of years and growing into
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the person that made it today, and, you know, How
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developing our strategies of dealing with mental health help with
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me to get where of it.
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No, it got, and I'm really looking forward to that.
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I know it's something that a lot of people, especially
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in the industry that you're in and seeing some of
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the discussions from green industry professionals, it's certainly a topic
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that's very much, you know, Hi and there are a
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lot of peoples' agenda at the moment and I'm looking
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forward to chap. Yeah, it definitely, yeah. You know, as
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a sort of want a, I'm not sure because I
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know it's like more than where you are getting close
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to a lunch thing where I am. So I am
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having a sneaky, a little jam that today for the
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show, but it's a very mild one. It's just like
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a bit more, a 12 year old. And are you
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partaking in anything today or are you seeing,
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And in light of the coronavirus from having to cover
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all of that?
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No, it's well played. Well, I shall cheers you too
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that and enjoy the canola. So I'm just, Josh you
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mentioned in the intro there that you, you know, you
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built up a landscape business, but you've also, you know,
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you deal with mental health issues, you know, from growing
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up and you know, where you are today. So how
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long have you been dealing with mental health, your personal
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mental health, and how long have you been in business
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now? How have the two? So he joined each other.
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Well, I I've been in business for myself about five
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years now. And as far as the mental health, honestly,
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it was never addressed ever. And it was just in
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the past two years that I really started to see
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the light and, and it really focused on, on what
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was happening around me as far as like business family,
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friendships on things that were going well. I was having
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a lot of hiccups in my marriage, was having hiccups,
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ah, in, in business. And I was so quick
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To react. Ah, and in a, in the defense mechanism
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too aggressively find the answer I needed to know the
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answer right there and it wasn't working. So I don't
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know what it, wasn't sort of epiphany that I remember
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the week before July 4th, two years ago, just lying
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there and really just a self-reflection in, ah, trying to
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figure out what exactly what was going on and, and
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why these things were happening. You know, Why business was
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booming, but it wasn't happy. I was always an aggravated
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and mad, constantly fighting with my wife, bickering with my
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children. They don't want to be around me guys that
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were working for me. We were always walking on egg
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shells when I was around it. So it, it, it
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definitely took a little bit of a self-reflection two years
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ago and, and really kind of waking up.
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And it wasn't all at once. It was, it, it
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was gradually that, you know, you start to notice things
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and as you sit back and really take time, you
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can see how things change around you. And, you know,
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you, you, you, you present yourself a certain way
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And you mentioned, obviously its a gradual thing and you
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have that kind of epiphany to years ago, a lead
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up to that had people tried to tell you to
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either of, you know, seek help or it, maybe you
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need to speak to someone because they are not really
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sure, you know, how to help or was it something
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that you were dealing with on your own? Really?
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I would say it was kind of a denial that
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nothing was wrong. You know, the people that were going
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with the flow of what I wanted an outward work
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and there were people, you know, like my wife would
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constantly tell me that, you know, I put a lot
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on my plate, but a lot of pressure on myself
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that I should, you know, talk to a therapist or
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chat with someone and I didn't really have the people
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around me that would push to like really talk about
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emotions and feelings and you know, stress is, it was
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more or less like, you know, how will the socks
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of the past and the game the last night, you
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know, a quick picture, one, two and, and that's cool
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and all, but yeah, I mean, you, you definitely, I've
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learned now that, you know, you could do that, but
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you definitely want to have those Gates open when you,
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when you have something going your life and you are
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not able to talk to a spouse or partner about
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things like that.
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Right.
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And, and that's why that's such a key message as
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well. It's I think because of the stigma obviously is
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still sort of our hands know Mental Health discussions and
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it's a really hard to, to open up and, and
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talk, unless you mentioned, unless you have the people that
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understand what you're going through an arcane, do you understand
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what you're going through? It can be hard to get
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that cottage if you'd like to, to reach out to
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professional for help.
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Oh it is. And that's for sure. And I'm going
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to actually go back real quick. When I talked about
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being in survival mode on the last episode that was
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on and that's where that came into play. So I
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would say I have a lot of stuff that I
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dealt with as a teenager growing up from the time
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of, you know, getting through that to, you know, become
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a young adult with, with a child. There wasn't much
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time to self-reflect on things that were going on or
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the things that happened to me in the past or
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why it was where I was at that time. It
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was more or less like, OK, you dealt with The
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the juvenile detention to detention centers and institution's now it's
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time to manned up and become a man and figure
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that out and then go out on your own. And
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you know, you think that you had things figured out
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and they are going, but again its just survival mode.
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You're, you're going by instinct. You doing what you have
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to do to get by an honest to God, I
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mean that carry all throughout my twenties and 34 going
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to be 35 in a few weeks. And that carried
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up until I was 30. And you know, I look
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back at it now and it was just, it was
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ignorant of myself to not take a step back and
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say, Hey, well, things aren't working, you were literally just
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getting by with, with techniques that you created in self-taught
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yourself as a 15, 16, 17 year-old and the system.
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And you know, but as a man, you know, what
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excuses or are you making for yourself now that you
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did it when you're 17, that don't really work and
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yeah, definitely, you know, getting out of that survival mode
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and being able to say, Hey, you know, I, I
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need to talk to someone it's hard, its hard for
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a lot of people because it's, it's, you're not going
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to emit that something is wrong when you have those
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traits about you, that, you know, you, you do what
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you have to do to survive and I'd be straight
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up with you.
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I mean, I, I signed up for there to be
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two years ago and I'm on a break from it
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right now. And I get into that Why but that
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there would be, it was probably one of the best
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things and there is stigma behind it and it wasn't
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one of those things where you sit on the couch
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and you know, they ask if, if you know, uncle
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Bob or touched U as a kid is more or
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less by organizing your thoughts on that was one of
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the biggest things I had trouble with and even going
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into the business was organized in my thoughts, you know,
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I, I deal with ADHD and you know, that's been
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a culprit, that's kinda set me back a little bit,
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but I've learned to live with it and adjust and,
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and adjust my mind too, you know, my thinking process
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and being able to, to sit back and actually realize
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that now it definitely helps, you know.
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All right. And, and it's interesting, you mentioned your ADHD
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and how that plays a certain role or how you've
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used it to play a certain role and guests within
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your business. Do you think that, because I know a,
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for example, autism people who have autism or have been
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phone to be really good at detailed oriented jobs like
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accountant because of, you know, the way the mind works.
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Do you feel that you read the HD As helped
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you focus on certain on your business on how to
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run a or do you think its it's been a
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hindrance or I'm not sure what the right word, but
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There's definitely pros and cons to it. DHD is as
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far as a, you know, I, I always considered it
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multitasking, but you know, you're not finishing the task at
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hand and you know, things are a mess, you know,
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now that I'm aware of it, not to say it
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was an excuse before for being sloppy or anything like
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that. But I know that for me, that there was
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a label on it. Its its easier for me to
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actually be conscious of what's going on in my mind.
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If I find myself saying, Hey, you know what, today's
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the day. And I'm gonna sit in on an invoice.
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I want to work with my marketing and payroll. But
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during that time I'm like, well let me work on
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five design. It's a mom to be able to catch
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myself a little bit more and say, you know what?
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This isn't like, the brainstorming that multitasking that this is
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me losing my way.
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Like I could've focused on the guy. And, and that's
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the, the downside of it is, is you constantly have
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to be conscious and, and find in and see yourself
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doing that. And if I put yourself on the bus
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and say, no, no, no. Well, so, you know, for
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me, what helps is actually being diagnosed with the ADHD
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helped me develop the ability to make a list and,
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and stick to a schedule per day, what I'm going
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to do Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, and then the weekends.
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I usually play by day. And, and that was something
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that I never did. And, and, and that always kept
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me in the butt too, because you know, self doubt
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kicks in, especially when you're dealing with, you know, depression,
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anxiety, ADHD, self doubt can be at kick in the
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ass. And when you set these goals and for some
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reason I think a lot of entrepreneurs set these unrealistic
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goals of what you're going to achieve and when you
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don't achieve them, because your mind, especially from me, my
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mind wandering everywhere you look down, he said, what the
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hell am I doing it?
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You know, like, like I didn't get anything done. I
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started at 20 tasks. I didn't give one single thing.
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And they had done it's aggravating, you know, but being
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able to have that label on it and say, okay,
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I've got to focus and I'm not going to let
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it control me. And I'm gonna finish all my tasks.
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It is rewarding at the end of the day, when,
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you know, you can check off everything on that list
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and, and know that you've actually succeeded in, in these
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small goals you set for yourself each day. So I
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can't say that there is definitely a benefit or a
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con from it, but it's kind of in the middle.
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Right.
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I mean, and, and that's a really good way to
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describe it. It's, you know, that your examples that you
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used there, you had mentioned obviously the, prior to the
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epiphany that you had a, you know, back in July
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of two years ago, people were out and you were
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noticing are, may be bearing the brunt. If you're like,
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Oh, you have some of your, your, your swings, you
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know, your ups downs, et cetera. I mean, w running
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your own business and, you know, a couple more mental
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health issues that the same time, or did you find
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that out? It see additional stress on pharma life than
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say, if you weren't obviously coping with mental health issues,
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are you were in a, a standard nine to five
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job versus running your own business?
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Well,
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I would say that in your meeting. So before I
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have the epiphany, how do I was dealing with, with
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the stresses of everyday life?
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Yeah, I mean, yeah, it just really, I, I guess
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I know of myself, for example, my wife's sufficient, a
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mental health has eyes to eye, and sometimes that can
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be a tough thing when you're trying to run a
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family or on a host household, et cetera, but we
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don't have, like, we both worked for other people. So
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I'm just curious, as you mentioned, entrepreneurs put so much
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00:14:36
more pressure on themselves. Did you know, how did that
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00:14:40
play out for yourself and your family while you are
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00:14:42
building a business and still understanding that you had, you
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00:14:45
know, mental health issues that you, that you were battling,
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00:14:49
But it definitely added to the stress I'm in
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00:14:52
An eye and said, I really didn't have a plan.
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00:14:54
You know, you, you read all these, you know, motivational
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00:14:59
books and the business coach books and that, you know,
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00:15:01
they send out the plan, but from a lot of
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00:15:03
people in that, I want to say a lot of
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00:15:04
people in my industry, you get into this Usually, you
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00:15:08
know, when, when you're back in the corner, it's the
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00:15:10
cheapest industry to get into. So you kind of run
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00:15:13
along and we did the same time we signed up,
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00:15:14
they can, you know, weed, most of the lawns, we
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00:15:15
would just clean up and it will be simple, but
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00:15:18
we're in a month really took off then that first
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00:15:20
year. And we grew so fast that we didn't have
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00:15:22
the time to really establish the fan. So a plan
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00:15:25
So well, I'm, you know, somewhat conscious of, you know,
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00:15:29
I needed to work on self development and stuff, but
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00:15:31
I'm not really putting focus on it.
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00:15:33
I'm not paying attention to the stresses. The triggers are
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00:15:36
around me and I'm taking everything in and I'm not
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00:15:39
delegating at this point. And this is a really unusual
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00:15:41
because before going to business for myself, I've ran businesses.
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00:15:44
I worked for corporations where I was Hi in higher
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00:15:46
positions, I've ran automotive dealerships is operations managers, but it's
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00:15:51
always different when it's not your, as you can close
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00:15:52
the door or a drop your wrenches and your home
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00:15:54
for the day. So I wasn't really paying attention to
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00:15:57
the triggers around me. So the added stress was to
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00:15:59
get to the point where I would be waking up
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00:16:02
with the sweat two in the middle of the night,
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00:16:03
I was definitely jumped me. I was barking of the
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00:16:05
smallest things. I would say my oldest who's 14 now
Speaker:
00:16:10
remembers me being a snappy over the smallest thing.
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00:16:14
You, you know, like I'm trying to focus or in
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00:16:15
a bill and, you know, if someone would drop the
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00:16:17
cup and I'd lose my mind, I would say the
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00:16:20
focus of being conscious now in a meeting to myself
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00:16:24
that, you know, there was issues and I have to
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00:16:25
focus and I have to figure myself out and, you
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00:16:28
know, a lot or not what things can Sue me.
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00:16:30
And I think one of the biggest things for me
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00:16:33
in business was figuring out and, and developing and the
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00:16:36
ability to take the emotion out of business. And that's
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00:16:39
a lot of what I did is through the day
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00:16:40
I would, you know, I'm a bad phone, God carry
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00:16:42
on with that with me all day, you know, my
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00:16:45
numbers were down for the quarter, you know, I I'd
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00:16:47
be flipping out and, and it's good to be like
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00:16:51
that. So your conscious of what you're business is doing,
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00:16:52
but at the end of the day, you have to
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00:16:54
cut that cord and realize that you don't take that
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00:16:56
with you.
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00:16:56
You know, we, I work in a home office. We're
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00:16:58
both in here. We know once we leave this office,
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00:17:00
that's it, that it stays there. But even when doing
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00:17:02
with customers at the moment, it's, you know, it's, it's
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00:17:04
pretty scripted now for what we do with it. There's
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00:17:07
no emotion about that. At the end of the day,
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00:17:09
these are just people that are looking for a service,
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00:17:12
the same way you walk into target and you see
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00:17:14
a cheaper item on Amazon and by an Amazon and
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00:17:16
they take the emotion and you move on to the
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00:17:18
next. So taking the emotion out of business has definitely
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00:17:21
helped me personally and professionally.
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00:17:26
And, and how do you, how do you do that?
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00:17:27
Cause I know you mentioned you had a, a very
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00:17:31
passionate passion for your business. How do you take the
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00:17:34
emotion? How would you allow them to take the emotion,
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00:17:36
aware and understand that it's not personal? No. Is just
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00:17:40
a business decision that was awkward. That can be easier
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00:17:42
for you, or was that a hard thing for you
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00:17:43
to do?
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00:17:44
No. God, no. So like I said, it in the,
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00:17:46
I said in the last episode, so I grew up
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00:17:48
in Boston and I grew up in, in, in like
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00:17:52
a, an area in and around people that, ah, I
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00:17:54
don't know if, remember you saying this is like you
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00:17:56
brushed everything under the rug. And the build up of
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00:17:58
emotion came out and it came out as a aggression
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00:18:01
and like a lot of mint have we come out
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00:18:03
are emotions. Don't usually come out with tears as they
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00:18:04
come out in anger, we come out and we hit
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00:18:06
walls. We slam things, we raise our voices. And that
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00:18:08
was me to the fullest extent. And that it didn't
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00:18:11
matter who you were, you can be a potential customer
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00:18:13
with a a hundred thousand dollars jobs. If I didn't
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00:18:15
like your attitude, I'm just letting you know. And that
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00:18:16
was ignorant to me. But to, to say that it's
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00:18:19
easy, God knows for me to, at least it wasn't
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00:18:21
easy. It was a lot of swallow, my pride. And
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00:18:24
there were definitely hiccups along the way.
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00:18:25
And you know, if it came to a point where
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00:18:27
it was like, you know, a customer, a fire just
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00:18:30
from a job or for a maintenance account, I would
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00:18:31
take that to heart and be like, why are we
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00:18:33
doing this? And that's where the self doubt would come
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00:18:35
into play and say, you know, maybe I'm not meant
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00:18:37
for this. Maybe this isn't me. Maybe I need to
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00:18:39
go, you know, put my resume on indeed and see
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00:18:41
if I can get another job managing someplace. Like, I'm
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00:18:44
just, I'm not meant for this. And you would go
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00:18:45
through this. I would constantly go through the cycle. And
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00:18:47
then they have one day I just sat back and
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00:18:49
I said, well, why don't, why or why not just
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00:18:50
be a frigging, a robot? And you know, obviously you,
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00:18:54
you mingle part of it is, is, you know, you
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00:18:56
kinda have to swap the customer's and, and let them
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00:18:58
know your personality. But you know, of the day it's
Speaker:
00:19:00
business where you're going to spend the money with you
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00:19:02
or someone else, you have to sell it, you do
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00:19:04
the job, that's it. And you move away and you
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00:19:05
have to keep telling yourself, this is just business.
Speaker:
00:19:07
At the end of the day, what really matters is
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00:19:08
what's at home. And that's what I've done for so
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00:19:11
long is I put so much emotion into the job
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00:19:13
and took it home with me. It brought my home
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00:19:15
life back in to work with me. I never had
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00:19:17
those, those boundaries set. And that was a lot of
Speaker:
00:19:21
it. And on the personal side of setting boundaries, that
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00:19:25
was one of them. I had never set for myself,
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00:19:26
for my wife, for my family. We were all in
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00:19:28
each other's business. And we never had our alone time
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00:19:31
and setting boundaries and, and guidelines for things at home.
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00:19:35
In my personal life. It really helped me and the
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00:19:36
professional aspect where I could say, well, you know what,
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00:19:39
if I, if I give my wife her space and
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00:19:41
they do this, everybody is kind of like, well, what
Speaker:
00:19:42
if I could do this and say, you know what,
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00:19:44
I'm not gonna answer my phone at eight o'clock at
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00:19:46
night, I'm going to set my phone, my business Line
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00:19:49
to ring from 7:00 AM to 5:00 AM.
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00:19:51
And that's it. If you need to reach me, it's
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00:19:53
a landscape and there's, there's no emergency involved the landscaping
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00:19:56
that you need to reach me at two o'clock in
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00:19:58
the morning. Right. And, and yeah, it was definitely tough.
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00:20:02
But once you set these boundaries for yourself and you
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00:20:04
realize like, at the end of the day, it's just
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00:20:07
a business, you know, it's not life or death with
Speaker:
00:20:09
this, you know, we're not doctors, we're not lawyers, we're
Speaker:
00:20:13
not medics. You know, its the seriousness kind of takes
Speaker:
00:20:16
away from it and yeah, it definitely helped us out
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00:20:19
the, they set the boundaries. Thank you.
Speaker:
00:20:21
And I think that's why I like about some of
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00:20:22
the new on the newer smartphones as well. There have
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00:20:25
these settings on them, you know, for like a digital
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00:20:27
wellbeing to make sure that your stepping away from screen
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00:20:30
time to look after your mental health site.
Speaker:
00:20:33
Well, you know, I love that. I noticed that the
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00:20:35
iPhone has it now where they can actually monitor actually
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00:20:38
said it for, for Instagram and Facebook. Once you hit,
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00:20:41
you know, maybe 30 minutes per day of social media
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00:20:44
time, it actually blocks you all. I mean, all you
Speaker:
00:20:45
have to do is sit in the code, but it
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00:20:46
it's, you know, you can do, you can go back
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00:20:48
and actually read the data that, you know, you you've
Speaker:
00:20:50
just been spending way too much time on the phone,
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00:20:52
you know, FaceTime it for three hours and will back
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00:20:54
away from that a little bit.
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00:20:56
When we spoke earlier about the, the industry and how,
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00:21:00
you know, w we, we simply see more or less
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00:21:02
seems to be more people in the green industry talking
Speaker:
00:21:05
about their mental health. Now I know on some of
Speaker:
00:21:07
the Facebook groups, you have people like a, I can't
Speaker:
00:21:13
remember his name though. That's not the bad bits and
Speaker:
00:21:14
the lawn care of legends, a Facebook group, for example,
Speaker:
00:21:17
there's a lot of discussions about mental health and how
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00:21:20
you look after yourself, you know, in the stress industry,
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00:21:23
what, what do you feel is the, the support networks
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00:21:26
like in your industry do grin and district rules talk
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00:21:29
about it enough or is it still something that, that
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00:21:31
needs to be spoken about more or
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00:21:34
All right. So I'm going to kind of categorize this
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00:21:38
and that. And they know that the green industry in
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00:21:40
mental health and all is it isn't directed just towards
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00:21:42
one demographic, but I'm going to speak in the male
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00:21:44
perspective on this because the green industry is predominantly male
Speaker:
00:21:51
and have not taken away from females on the bus.
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00:21:52
I'm just speaking from a male perspective because I've been
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00:21:54
trying to focus a lot on mil, mental health and
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00:21:57
masculinity, positive masculinity And and all that. And I think
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00:22:01
that in the past year, there have been a few
Speaker:
00:22:03
guys that have brought up mental health. And I think
Speaker:
00:22:06
it's definitely something that's more talked about, but it's not.
Speaker:
00:22:10
So, you know, its not so fluent to say, it's
Speaker:
00:22:13
just like, Hey listen, I'm, I'm depressed.
Speaker:
00:22:15
I'm in, there is different, there's different types of depression.
Speaker:
00:22:18
There's different types of a lack of mental health that
Speaker:
00:22:22
you have to watch out for. And in part of
Speaker:
00:22:24
the, you know, in the green industry, especially is, you
Speaker:
00:22:26
know, you see a lot of guys on social media
Speaker:
00:22:29
that will go on there and it, it sounds crazy,
Speaker:
00:22:33
but we have as adults that you would look in
Speaker:
00:22:34
another person to say, wow, well that guy has got
Speaker:
00:22:36
it going on. Or you know, what does he do?
Speaker:
00:22:38
And he has sponsorships through manufacturers. He has a brand
Speaker:
00:22:42
new truck, a brand new trailer. And I actually spoke
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00:22:45
with this on one of the, one of the affiliations
Speaker:
00:22:47
that I've had for PM. I've had people message me.
Speaker:
00:22:50
And it's why, you know, you, you really can't look
Speaker:
00:22:53
at what these people have on social media and, and
Speaker:
00:22:56
take it into your own business.
Speaker:
00:22:57
And, and one of the things that, that I did
Speaker:
00:23:00
for the longest time in this was not even realizing
Speaker:
00:23:02
it was like I was in such a rush. And
Speaker:
00:23:05
I think a lot of guys, if you're going to
Speaker:
00:23:08
speak about, you know, Entrepreneurship or green industry ownership, business'
Speaker:
00:23:12
ownership and, and a lack of Mental, Health one of
Speaker:
00:23:15
the things that you have to realize to set realistic
Speaker:
00:23:17
guidelines and timelines. There is no race in business. The,
Speaker:
00:23:21
the one thing about the green industry as that is
Speaker:
00:23:23
so lucrative, I mean, this is $186 billion business. There's
Speaker:
00:23:27
enough money to go around and there's not a race.
Speaker:
00:23:29
Everybody takes it their own pace. So I, I wish
Speaker:
00:23:32
guys, you really set that standard where, you know what
Speaker:
00:23:36
people know how long you've you've taken to get where
Speaker:
00:23:39
you are.
Speaker:
00:23:39
You know, if you are not, everybody is going to
Speaker:
00:23:41
be a, you know, a one year in one year
Speaker:
00:23:44
of success coming the gate. So it just sets the
Speaker:
00:23:48
standard guidelines and makes sure that you're expressing when you're
Speaker:
00:23:51
talking about things that I think that's a big, big,
Speaker:
00:23:55
no to make is, is, you know, let people know
Speaker:
00:23:57
that it takes time too, to get where you are
Speaker:
00:23:59
and that, you know, you're going to go through these,
Speaker:
00:24:03
these feelings of, of, of being down in, in the
Speaker:
00:24:05
right and, and self doubt. But yet there are a
Speaker:
00:24:08
few guys that have talked about it. I don't think
Speaker:
00:24:10
that it's, it's very out there. I think that there
Speaker:
00:24:13
is definitely a, a, there's still a stigma on it
Speaker:
00:24:15
in the green industry, especially when you get to the
Speaker:
00:24:17
construction side of things because, and, and I hate using
Speaker:
00:24:21
the world a, what do they say, false masculinity,
Speaker:
00:24:24
Right? You know, that
Speaker:
00:24:25
You you're still kinda have that aspect of it where
Speaker:
00:24:28
its like, you know, you are going to meet up,
Speaker:
00:24:29
let your balls drop it and deal with it. And
Speaker:
00:24:32
I feel like it's a, it's a different time. And
Speaker:
00:24:35
I don't think that that even employee's, you know, this
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00:24:39
is a very demanding industry, especially when you get into
Speaker:
00:24:42
the landscape and the hardscape construction side of it and
Speaker:
00:24:45
deadlines are a tough to meet. You know, if you
Speaker:
00:24:47
have a bad run up a weather, rain or snow,
Speaker:
00:24:51
it, it can definitely set you back. And I don't
Speaker:
00:24:53
think that enough guys talk about Stillness in reflection when
Speaker:
00:24:58
you do this. And I think it's constantly go, go,
Speaker:
00:25:00
go, go. The one thing that I do see a
Speaker:
00:25:03
lot is the same guys that, and I'm not trying
Speaker:
00:25:06
to finger point anybody here, but the same guys that
Speaker:
00:25:09
I see talk about it, you know, you go back
Speaker:
00:25:11
in two months ago, it's the 80, 90 hour week
Speaker:
00:25:13
crying.
Speaker:
00:25:14
And, and I honestly think that's a crock of shit,
Speaker:
00:25:16
excuse my language for the client. But that's one thing
Speaker:
00:25:18
that, and I used to be like that. And even
Speaker:
00:25:20
before I get to the industry, I would work six
Speaker:
00:25:22
to 80 hours a week grinding. And it's like, you
Speaker:
00:25:24
know, the Lake, it was like for Why yeah. For
Speaker:
00:25:26
what to make someone else money. And, and, and even
Speaker:
00:25:28
today I go, why should work? Well, why should I
Speaker:
00:25:30
work 80 hours a week? Because you know what I
Speaker:
00:25:31
mean? I like my time, you know, there was no
Speaker:
00:25:34
reason that I can in 40 to 50 hours a
Speaker:
00:25:36
week, figure out what I get to figure out to
Speaker:
00:25:38
make paycheck and to put some money in the bank.
Speaker:
00:25:41
And if you are working 80 hours a week and
Speaker:
00:25:42
I get that, you're going to have times where you
Speaker:
00:25:44
have to grind out what are you going to have
Speaker:
00:25:46
time to self reflect and really like figure your thoughts
Speaker:
00:25:49
out and have a moment of stillness. And, and I
Speaker:
00:25:51
keep saying Stillness because this is one thing that's someone
Speaker:
00:25:53
brought up and they're like, Josh when do you take
Speaker:
00:25:55
that moment?
Speaker:
00:25:55
And still in it, when you're out there, quote unquote,
Speaker:
00:25:57
doing the grind 80 hours a week. And I'm like,
Speaker:
00:25:59
well, you don't want to be in my car. And
Speaker:
00:26:00
I'm like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. You're,
Speaker:
00:26:01
you're not actually still, this is when you're not meditating
Speaker:
00:26:04
with, at the point where you're just sitting on your,
Speaker:
00:26:07
on your, your self or, and you're staring off into
Speaker:
00:26:09
the wall and actually figuring out mapping out your thoughts
Speaker:
00:26:12
and, and what's going on with you because there may
Speaker:
00:26:14
be underlining things that are going on with you. Maybe
Speaker:
00:26:16
your down, maybe you are in self doubt or maybe
Speaker:
00:26:17
there is a little hint of depression or maybe you're
Speaker:
00:26:19
fine, but you're not taking that minute to figure that
Speaker:
00:26:21
out. And you're, you're acting on impulse and just a,
Speaker:
00:26:24
a trigger reaction to get an answer automatically. You know,
Speaker:
00:26:28
the, the easiest way is to blame something or a
Speaker:
00:26:30
fall in the, the, the, the quickest results, you know,
Speaker:
00:26:32
rather than figure things out. And I think a lot
Speaker:
00:26:33
of guys, especially in my industry, you need to take
Speaker:
00:26:37
that moment of a, again, I hate the word self-care,
Speaker:
00:26:41
it's another thing, but actually pay attention to your physical,
Speaker:
00:26:46
mental health or reflect on, you know, where you are,
Speaker:
00:26:49
where you're going to be appreciated with where you are,
Speaker:
00:26:51
you know, things take time and, and take those moments
Speaker:
00:26:54
of stillness and really just blank out.
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00:26:56
And when I say Stillness to me to shut the
Speaker:
00:26:57
phone off the wife or girlfriend partner, whatever it is,
Speaker:
00:27:00
kids go away and just reflect on your day 10
Speaker:
00:27:04
minutes, just reflect any of that. And that's something that
Speaker:
00:27:05
we do every single day. Now I do it in
Speaker:
00:27:07
the morning of the month at 5:00 AM, or I
Speaker:
00:27:09
don't touch anybody talking to anybody. I go right into
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00:27:11
my couch, I have my coffee. And I just think,
Speaker:
00:27:14
and at the end of the day, I try to
Speaker:
00:27:15
do the same thing that I sit down. And I
Speaker:
00:27:17
really, you know, I take in what happens if I'm
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00:27:19
having an argument with a wife and I, you know,
Speaker:
00:27:21
I don't wanna address it then if I'm not to
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00:27:24
act on impulse and try to come up with an
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00:27:25
area of the answer, cause I don't have to have
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00:27:27
one right. Then if it's now you move with the
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00:27:29
customer at the same day, and it's the end of
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00:27:30
the day, I, I calm down and come back and
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00:27:33
realize its not that big of a deal.
Speaker:
00:27:35
All right. And that, that came to that lends into
Speaker:
00:27:39
something that is going to ask you, you actually are.
Speaker:
00:27:41
And I, and I love that moment of stillness. I
Speaker:
00:27:43
think that's a great approach to tech because like you
Speaker:
00:27:46
mentioned, there's so much pressure to do X, Y, Z
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00:27:50
either in business, personal life, family, in our peers, et
Speaker:
00:27:53
cetera. And we don't take that moment of stillness and
Speaker:
00:27:57
that quiet time to really reflect on a success because
Speaker:
00:28:00
often we, we were really good as a human race
Speaker:
00:28:02
and beating ourselves up and we don't do it anywhere
Speaker:
00:28:06
near enough to actually congratulate ourselves and some of this
Speaker:
00:28:09
stuff we have pulled off. So I really liked that
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00:28:11
fact and that kinda ties into what I was gonna
Speaker:
00:28:14
ask. I mean, based on your own lessons and experiences,
Speaker:
00:28:18
you may have already answered it with your, you know,
Speaker:
00:28:20
with that, that quote you just came up with.
Speaker:
00:28:22
Oh, you just mentioned. So what would be the one
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00:28:25
tip that you would give to anyone currently gone through
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00:28:28
the same journey of trying to build a business or
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00:28:30
growing a business and running a business while you know,
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00:28:33
are coping with mental health issues as there is one
Speaker:
00:28:36
thing that you have learned from say the last five
Speaker:
00:28:38
years of being in business, coupled with your own journey
Speaker:
00:28:41
with mental health and your ongoing Gen that you would
Speaker:
00:28:45
offer up advice to young people that are maybe in
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00:28:47
the same situation, but don't have the cottage to recognize
Speaker:
00:28:50
that would speak about it.
Speaker:
00:28:52
All right. You ready? Its as simple as it is,
Speaker:
00:28:54
like I said before to reflect. And I think the
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00:28:58
people that deal with mental illness and in are in
Speaker:
00:29:00
business for themselves are constantly reaching for that next step.
Speaker:
00:29:04
Like, you know, what's better within the next thing. What's
Speaker:
00:29:06
the next thing because you know, in mental health, you
Speaker:
00:29:09
know, sometimes the easiest thing is, you know, when something
Speaker:
00:29:11
goes wrong, it's easier to just blame something for simple
Speaker:
00:29:14
answer to that, just to get a simple answer. So
Speaker:
00:29:16
it's open it, right? So if you take that moment
Speaker:
00:29:19
and if you really, you really reflects on, on your
Speaker:
00:29:22
day, on your month and your year end and really
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00:29:24
just taking in and seeing where you are, you're going
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00:29:26
to realize that you were a lot further along in
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00:29:30
life and the journey of Entrepreneurship than you realize.
Speaker:
00:29:33
And people are constantly looking for the next step, but
Speaker:
00:29:35
you know, we, we do this, you know, we can
Speaker:
00:29:37
go out to work for ourselves to, for freedom, whether
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00:29:40
it's financial freedom or, or if it's work wife caught
Speaker:
00:29:43
only mine was a little bit of both, but now
Speaker:
00:29:44
I'm realizing that, you know, the work life balance in
Speaker:
00:29:48
the family time away is the money, you know, and
Speaker:
00:29:51
of course it's great to make tons of money who,
Speaker:
00:29:54
who doesn't want money in it, it it's, it's what
Speaker:
00:29:57
we do. But at the same time, you have to
Speaker:
00:29:59
look back and reflect to where you are and what
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00:30:01
you've done. And there's no this invisible timeline in a
Speaker:
00:30:06
race that we set for us. So you need to
Speaker:
00:30:07
get rid of that. It doesn't matter if you're, you
Speaker:
00:30:11
know, a millionaire by the time of your dirty 25
Speaker:
00:30:15
or if you get $500 on your bank account at
Speaker:
00:30:17
40, you know, it's, it's never too late to correct
Speaker:
00:30:20
your steps to look back.
Speaker:
00:30:21
But if you are constantly reflecting in and taking these
Speaker:
00:30:24
moments, it's still an issue Stillness and actually thinking about
Speaker:
00:30:27
your thoughts and putting them through the ringer, you you're
Speaker:
00:30:30
going to realize, Hey, I'm happy with where I am.
Speaker:
00:30:33
It's it's a lot easier to pay attention to the
Speaker:
00:30:36
day to day, rather than just going well, this year
Speaker:
00:30:38
sucked because X, Y, and Z didn't happen, but you
Speaker:
00:30:41
know what, ABCD EMG also happened and they were positive.
Speaker:
00:30:45
Right? Exactly. At least. Yeah. I mean, XYZ. Is that
Speaker:
00:30:47
fair enough if that doesn't happen, but that's pretty laterals
Speaker:
00:30:49
of the alphabet. You've got another 20, 32 a player
Speaker:
00:30:51
of, so, okay, so Josh yeah. I mean, this is
Speaker:
00:30:55
again another or eliminate in chat and I really appreciate
Speaker:
00:30:58
you coming on and share it and your experiences, you
Speaker:
00:30:59
know, one of our listeners, it says it's always, you
Speaker:
00:31:01
know, welcomed where can people, because I know, you know,
Speaker:
00:31:04
run your own podcast, where can people find you online
Speaker:
00:31:07
to have a listen to your podcast and Bea, you
Speaker:
00:31:10
know, to just check it out online
Speaker:
00:31:12
On the podcast, it's that we skate podcast, you can
Speaker:
00:31:14
find me on Apple and anchor and you can find
Speaker:
00:31:17
me on Instagram at J Curry, J a Y S
Speaker:
00:31:19
C U R R I a.
Speaker:
00:31:22
Awesome. And I'll be sure to drop all of these
Speaker:
00:31:24
links in to the show notes. So if people who
Speaker:
00:31:26
are looking for it or, you know, direct link, so
Speaker:
00:31:27
you can find them and to show us, okay, so
Speaker:
00:31:30
again, Josh so, like I said, I really appreciate you
Speaker:
00:31:32
jumping into the show today, but I think there has
Speaker:
00:31:34
been some really good takeaways for our listeners too, you
Speaker:
00:31:37
know, whether its own growing a business or running a
Speaker:
00:31:40
business deal and, you know, with a wild grew up
Speaker:
00:31:42
in a family and also obviously dealing with mental health
Speaker:
00:31:45
issues. I think there's a lot of strong takeaways for
Speaker:
00:31:48
people to take today. So I really appreciate it. Josh
Speaker:
00:31:50
Wait, can I throw it one more thing? I get
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00:31:52
there before we can hang up in a number going
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00:31:55
to push this a little bit on my, on my
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00:31:56
green industry pages. And the one thing I want to
Speaker:
00:31:58
leave everybody with here is, you know, we, I talk
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00:32:01
a lot on a lot of the platforms in a
Speaker:
00:32:02
lot of noise about having your, your coach, your team
Speaker:
00:32:05
in place and your team doesn't have to be inside
Speaker:
00:32:07
your company, but it also falls like your accountants, your
Speaker:
00:32:09
attorneys, your, or your tax professionals in, in one thing
Speaker:
00:32:13
that I'll push to help for me is I consider
Speaker:
00:32:15
my therapist or my group of who I talk to
Speaker:
00:32:18
you outside of the Marine industry. And that's part of
Speaker:
00:32:19
my team. So you, you know, my therapy, as far
Speaker:
00:32:22
as, like I said, I've been on kind of a
Speaker:
00:32:24
hiatus from that right now because I'm trying to break,
Speaker:
00:32:25
try to figure out my own lots and see where
Speaker:
00:32:27
I am as hard as there would be. I think
Speaker:
00:32:29
that's a very essential tool when you're only a business,
Speaker:
00:32:32
at least for this industry as having someone outside of
Speaker:
00:32:34
your industry, whether it's a mental health professional, or a
Speaker:
00:32:39
mentor to speak with them, talk to about all aspects
Speaker:
00:32:41
of life, not just business, because you do need a
Speaker:
00:32:43
vented out and we are not all Hercules.
Speaker:
00:32:46
We need to be able to get these thoughts out
Speaker:
00:32:47
and this isn't, you know, call on anybody a wish
Speaker:
00:32:50
to say that you need a polo to cry on
Speaker:
00:32:51
our shoulder crying on, but sometimes you do figuratively have
Speaker:
00:32:56
that person or persons in your toolbox and your team.
Speaker:
00:33:01
Not that a solid advice. And I would agree 100%.
Speaker:
00:33:04
I know from my own point of view, having someone
Speaker:
00:33:06
at that, was it gone back to your statement about
Speaker:
00:33:09
stepping away emotionally and making sure, you know, looking at
Speaker:
00:33:12
it from us as a professional angle or a, like
Speaker:
00:33:14
a, a third party angle, if you're like completely agreed
Speaker:
00:33:17
that that's excellent advice Josh for sure. Definitely. All right
Speaker:
00:33:21
guys. Well, this has been another episode of life through
Speaker:
00:33:24
John. I hope you enjoyed that. And like I say,
Speaker:
00:33:26
I'll be dropping off of the details about where you
Speaker:
00:33:28
can find Josh ah, to listen to the podcast and
Speaker:
00:33:31
just connect with him one lane and the show notes.
Speaker:
00:33:34
If you're enjoying the show and be sure to live
Speaker:
00:33:36
in a view, you can leave it really easily on
Speaker:
00:33:38
read this podcast.com forward slash and drop it.
Speaker:
00:33:42
And I'll show you how to deliver it up to
Speaker:
00:33:43
you on your favorite podcast channels until the next thing
Speaker:
00:33:45
guys, take care, speak soon. And <inaudible> Yeah, this has
Speaker:
00:33:51
been live through a DRAM. Be sure to subscribe. So
Speaker:
00:33:53
you don't miss an episode And listen to your podcast
Speaker:
00:33:58
or Stories, if you've enjoyed this, week's, Your be sure
Speaker:
00:34:01
to subscribe. So you don't miss an episode and feel
Speaker:
00:34:03
free to leave that review in iTunes to help other
Speaker:
00:34:05
trainers show too. And we'll see you the next time
00:00:00
Hi, and welcome to a bonus episode of Podcaster Stories.
Speaker:
00:00:03
This episode is from my previous show, a least through
Speaker:
00:00:07
a drum, which I sunsetted earlier this year to fully
Speaker:
00:00:10
concentrate on Podcaster Stories and It I speak to Josh,
Speaker:
00:00:14
carve-in a thread and a colleague who I've known for
Speaker:
00:00:17
a few years. Who's agreed in district pro over in
Speaker:
00:00:19
the U S Joshua has a podcast called the WeScape
Speaker:
00:00:22
podcast that talks about both the grid industry and itself.
Speaker:
00:00:27
And also I'm dealing with mental health issues while, you
Speaker:
00:00:29
know, trying to raise a family and runner up. I
Speaker:
00:00:32
saw all business. It's a real interesting chart with a
Speaker:
00:00:35
lot of great takeaways, both for business owners and for
Speaker:
00:00:38
people that have mental health issues.
Speaker:
00:00:40
I hope you enjoy this episode. Hello and welcome to
Speaker:
00:00:47
Podcaster Stories each week we'll have a conversation about podcasts.
Speaker:
00:00:51
It was across all mediums and share their story. What
Speaker:
00:00:54
motivates them, why they started to heal as a group.
Speaker:
00:00:58
And More also talk about their personal lives and some
Speaker:
00:01:01
of the things that have happened that made them the
Speaker:
00:01:03
person in the afternoon. And now here's your host. Danny
Speaker:
00:01:06
Brown.
Speaker:
00:01:08
I would say the focus of being conscious now in
Speaker:
00:01:09
the admitting to myself, the, you know, if there's issues
Speaker:
00:01:13
and I have to focus and I have to figure
Speaker:
00:01:15
myself out and you know, a lot of things can
Speaker:
00:01:18
Sue me. And I think one of the biggest things
Speaker:
00:01:21
for me business was figuring out and in developing the
Speaker:
00:01:24
ability to take the emotion out of business. And that's
Speaker:
00:01:27
a lot of what I did is through the day
Speaker:
00:01:28
I, you know, I'm a bad phone, God carry on
Speaker:
00:01:31
with that with me all day, you know, my numbers
Speaker:
00:01:33
were down for the quarter, right. You know, I I'd
Speaker:
00:01:35
be flipping out and, and it's good to be like
Speaker:
00:01:39
that to your conscious of what you're business is doing.
Speaker:
00:01:41
But at the end of the day, you have to
Speaker:
00:01:42
cut that cord and realized you don't take that with
Speaker:
00:01:44
you, you know,
Speaker:
00:01:47
Welcome to life through a DRAM where Danny, Brown shared
Speaker:
00:01:50
his take on life, being a better person and appreciating
Speaker:
00:01:54
the here and now all accompanied by a DRAM at
Speaker:
00:01:57
a fine single malt whiskey. And now here's your host
Speaker:
00:02:01
Danny Brown Hi guys. And welcome to another episode of
Speaker:
00:02:07
live through a drum this week, I've got a returning
Speaker:
00:02:10
guest from an earlier show, the sheer Josh Currivan who,
Speaker:
00:02:13
when he was on the last time we spoke about
Speaker:
00:02:16
his mental health fair battles. If you're like, and you
Speaker:
00:02:20
know, he was growing up until this time, you know,
Speaker:
00:02:23
and various and institutions and how he's, you know, overcome
Speaker:
00:02:28
that to launch our successful business.
Speaker:
00:02:31
Today, you want to catch up call, I've got to
Speaker:
00:02:33
catch up a chart, I guess a we're gonna sort
Speaker:
00:02:35
of revisit that a bit and talk about how that
Speaker:
00:02:38
plays into entrepreneurship and how, you know, dealing with mental
Speaker:
00:02:41
health issues plays into a run and grow on a
Speaker:
00:02:45
business. So Josh, welcome to the show. It's been a
Speaker:
00:02:48
while and it has to do. And how are you
Speaker:
00:02:49
doing? Oh, I'm good, man. I am good. And I
Speaker:
00:02:52
know that we were searching it. And just before the
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00:02:54
show here, you are saying that the way are there,
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00:02:56
so it kept you fairly quiet in the last month
Speaker:
00:02:58
or so. Definitely.
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00:03:00
Yes. So we were, we, we usually gauge to, to
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00:03:02
really focus on snow work over here in Northeast, Massachusetts
Speaker:
00:03:06
from January to about March. And it's been pretty mild
Speaker:
00:03:10
this month or so we haven't done much action as
Speaker:
00:03:12
far as getting out and to any snow removal.
Speaker:
00:03:15
Yeah, I can imagine. And like you said, we, we
Speaker:
00:03:18
had a, a whole bunch here, so I'll try send
Speaker:
00:03:20
some of your way if you want to do that.
Speaker:
00:03:23
So what I'm planning of the guests are S are
Speaker:
00:03:25
there any of the listener's that, you know, aren't aware
Speaker:
00:03:28
of you or didn't catch up with the last show,
Speaker:
00:03:30
et cetera. How about introducing yourself a little bit of
Speaker:
00:03:33
background on who you are and what you,
Speaker:
00:03:35
Yeah, definitely. So again, Josh Caribbean, I live in Northeast,
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00:03:39
Massachusetts, and I own a, a, a, a landscape construction
Speaker:
00:03:43
company over here that services are about 20 miles around
Speaker:
00:03:47
of the greater Boston area. If you didn't listen to
Speaker:
00:03:51
the last podcast, it kinda spoke briefly about my battles
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00:03:54
with a mental health childhood trauma, and kind of develop
Speaker:
00:03:57
an into a, a, a, a grown-up and the obstacles
Speaker:
00:04:00
that that took. And I think that's what we're gonna
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00:04:03
chat a little about today is a, you know, over
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00:04:05
coming in the past couple of years and growing into
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00:04:07
the person that made it today, and, you know, How
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00:04:10
developing our strategies of dealing with mental health help with
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00:04:18
me to get where of it.
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00:04:20
No, it got, and I'm really looking forward to that.
Speaker:
00:04:22
I know it's something that a lot of people, especially
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00:04:25
in the industry that you're in and seeing some of
Speaker:
00:04:27
the discussions from green industry professionals, it's certainly a topic
Speaker:
00:04:32
that's very much, you know, Hi and there are a
Speaker:
00:04:34
lot of peoples' agenda at the moment and I'm looking
Speaker:
00:04:35
forward to chap. Yeah, it definitely, yeah. You know, as
Speaker:
00:04:38
a sort of want a, I'm not sure because I
Speaker:
00:04:40
know it's like more than where you are getting close
Speaker:
00:04:42
to a lunch thing where I am. So I am
Speaker:
00:04:43
having a sneaky, a little jam that today for the
Speaker:
00:04:45
show, but it's a very mild one. It's just like
Speaker:
00:04:47
a bit more, a 12 year old. And are you
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00:04:50
partaking in anything today or are you seeing,
Speaker:
00:04:54
And in light of the coronavirus from having to cover
Speaker:
00:04:56
all of that?
Speaker:
00:04:57
No, it's well played. Well, I shall cheers you too
Speaker:
00:04:59
that and enjoy the canola. So I'm just, Josh you
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00:05:04
mentioned in the intro there that you, you know, you
Speaker:
00:05:08
built up a landscape business, but you've also, you know,
Speaker:
00:05:11
you deal with mental health issues, you know, from growing
Speaker:
00:05:15
up and you know, where you are today. So how
Speaker:
00:05:18
long have you been dealing with mental health, your personal
Speaker:
00:05:20
mental health, and how long have you been in business
Speaker:
00:05:24
now? How have the two? So he joined each other.
Speaker:
00:05:27
Well, I I've been in business for myself about five
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00:05:30
years now. And as far as the mental health, honestly,
Speaker:
00:05:35
it was never addressed ever. And it was just in
Speaker:
00:05:37
the past two years that I really started to see
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00:05:42
the light and, and it really focused on, on what
Speaker:
00:05:44
was happening around me as far as like business family,
Speaker:
00:05:48
friendships on things that were going well. I was having
Speaker:
00:05:51
a lot of hiccups in my marriage, was having hiccups,
Speaker:
00:05:55
ah, in, in business. And I was so quick
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00:05:58
To react. Ah, and in a, in the defense mechanism
Speaker:
00:06:02
too aggressively find the answer I needed to know the
Speaker:
00:06:05
answer right there and it wasn't working. So I don't
Speaker:
00:06:09
know what it, wasn't sort of epiphany that I remember
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00:06:11
the week before July 4th, two years ago, just lying
Speaker:
00:06:15
there and really just a self-reflection in, ah, trying to
Speaker:
00:06:19
figure out what exactly what was going on and, and
Speaker:
00:06:22
why these things were happening. You know, Why business was
Speaker:
00:06:24
booming, but it wasn't happy. I was always an aggravated
Speaker:
00:06:26
and mad, constantly fighting with my wife, bickering with my
Speaker:
00:06:30
children. They don't want to be around me guys that
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00:06:32
were working for me. We were always walking on egg
Speaker:
00:06:34
shells when I was around it. So it, it, it
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00:06:36
definitely took a little bit of a self-reflection two years
Speaker:
00:06:39
ago and, and really kind of waking up.
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00:06:41
And it wasn't all at once. It was, it, it
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00:06:42
was gradually that, you know, you start to notice things
Speaker:
00:06:45
and as you sit back and really take time, you
Speaker:
00:06:48
can see how things change around you. And, you know,
Speaker:
00:06:51
you, you, you, you present yourself a certain way
Speaker:
00:06:56
And you mentioned, obviously its a gradual thing and you
Speaker:
00:06:59
have that kind of epiphany to years ago, a lead
Speaker:
00:07:03
up to that had people tried to tell you to
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00:07:05
either of, you know, seek help or it, maybe you
Speaker:
00:07:08
need to speak to someone because they are not really
Speaker:
00:07:11
sure, you know, how to help or was it something
Speaker:
00:07:14
that you were dealing with on your own? Really?
Speaker:
00:07:17
I would say it was kind of a denial that
Speaker:
00:07:20
nothing was wrong. You know, the people that were going
Speaker:
00:07:22
with the flow of what I wanted an outward work
Speaker:
00:07:24
and there were people, you know, like my wife would
Speaker:
00:07:28
constantly tell me that, you know, I put a lot
Speaker:
00:07:30
on my plate, but a lot of pressure on myself
Speaker:
00:07:32
that I should, you know, talk to a therapist or
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00:07:34
chat with someone and I didn't really have the people
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00:07:37
around me that would push to like really talk about
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00:07:41
emotions and feelings and you know, stress is, it was
Speaker:
00:07:44
more or less like, you know, how will the socks
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00:07:46
of the past and the game the last night, you
Speaker:
00:07:47
know, a quick picture, one, two and, and that's cool
Speaker:
00:07:50
and all, but yeah, I mean, you, you definitely, I've
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00:07:52
learned now that, you know, you could do that, but
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00:07:54
you definitely want to have those Gates open when you,
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00:07:57
when you have something going your life and you are
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00:07:59
not able to talk to a spouse or partner about
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00:08:02
things like that.
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00:08:04
Right.
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00:08:04
And, and that's why that's such a key message as
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00:08:06
well. It's I think because of the stigma obviously is
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00:08:10
still sort of our hands know Mental Health discussions and
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00:08:13
it's a really hard to, to open up and, and
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00:08:15
talk, unless you mentioned, unless you have the people that
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00:08:18
understand what you're going through an arcane, do you understand
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00:08:21
what you're going through? It can be hard to get
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00:08:24
that cottage if you'd like to, to reach out to
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00:08:26
professional for help.
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00:08:28
Oh it is. And that's for sure. And I'm going
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00:08:29
to actually go back real quick. When I talked about
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00:08:31
being in survival mode on the last episode that was
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00:08:34
on and that's where that came into play. So I
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00:08:37
would say I have a lot of stuff that I
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00:08:39
dealt with as a teenager growing up from the time
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00:08:42
of, you know, getting through that to, you know, become
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00:08:46
a young adult with, with a child. There wasn't much
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00:08:48
time to self-reflect on things that were going on or
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00:08:51
the things that happened to me in the past or
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00:08:53
why it was where I was at that time. It
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00:08:55
was more or less like, OK, you dealt with The
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00:08:58
the juvenile detention to detention centers and institution's now it's
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00:09:02
time to manned up and become a man and figure
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00:09:03
that out and then go out on your own. And
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00:09:05
you know, you think that you had things figured out
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00:09:08
and they are going, but again its just survival mode.
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00:09:10
You're, you're going by instinct. You doing what you have
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00:09:12
to do to get by an honest to God, I
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00:09:15
mean that carry all throughout my twenties and 34 going
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00:09:17
to be 35 in a few weeks. And that carried
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00:09:19
up until I was 30. And you know, I look
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00:09:23
back at it now and it was just, it was
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00:09:25
ignorant of myself to not take a step back and
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00:09:27
say, Hey, well, things aren't working, you were literally just
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00:09:30
getting by with, with techniques that you created in self-taught
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00:09:33
yourself as a 15, 16, 17 year-old and the system.
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00:09:37
And you know, but as a man, you know, what
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00:09:39
excuses or are you making for yourself now that you
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00:09:42
did it when you're 17, that don't really work and
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00:09:44
yeah, definitely, you know, getting out of that survival mode
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00:09:47
and being able to say, Hey, you know, I, I
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00:09:48
need to talk to someone it's hard, its hard for
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00:09:51
a lot of people because it's, it's, you're not going
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00:09:53
to emit that something is wrong when you have those
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00:09:56
traits about you, that, you know, you, you do what
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00:09:58
you have to do to survive and I'd be straight
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00:10:00
up with you.
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00:10:01
I mean, I, I signed up for there to be
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00:10:03
two years ago and I'm on a break from it
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00:10:05
right now. And I get into that Why but that
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00:10:07
there would be, it was probably one of the best
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00:10:08
things and there is stigma behind it and it wasn't
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00:10:11
one of those things where you sit on the couch
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00:10:13
and you know, they ask if, if you know, uncle
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00:10:15
Bob or touched U as a kid is more or
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00:10:17
less by organizing your thoughts on that was one of
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00:10:19
the biggest things I had trouble with and even going
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00:10:21
into the business was organized in my thoughts, you know,
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00:10:23
I, I deal with ADHD and you know, that's been
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00:10:26
a culprit, that's kinda set me back a little bit,
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00:10:28
but I've learned to live with it and adjust and,
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00:10:31
and adjust my mind too, you know, my thinking process
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00:10:34
and being able to, to sit back and actually realize
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00:10:39
that now it definitely helps, you know.
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00:10:40
All right. And, and it's interesting, you mentioned your ADHD
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00:10:44
and how that plays a certain role or how you've
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00:10:47
used it to play a certain role and guests within
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00:10:49
your business. Do you think that, because I know a,
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00:10:52
for example, autism people who have autism or have been
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00:10:56
phone to be really good at detailed oriented jobs like
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00:10:59
accountant because of, you know, the way the mind works.
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00:11:03
Do you feel that you read the HD As helped
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00:11:05
you focus on certain on your business on how to
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00:11:09
run a or do you think its it's been a
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00:11:12
hindrance or I'm not sure what the right word, but
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00:11:17
There's definitely pros and cons to it. DHD is as
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00:11:20
far as a, you know, I, I always considered it
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00:11:23
multitasking, but you know, you're not finishing the task at
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00:11:26
hand and you know, things are a mess, you know,
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00:11:29
now that I'm aware of it, not to say it
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00:11:32
was an excuse before for being sloppy or anything like
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00:11:34
that. But I know that for me, that there was
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00:11:37
a label on it. Its its easier for me to
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00:11:40
actually be conscious of what's going on in my mind.
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00:11:43
If I find myself saying, Hey, you know what, today's
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00:11:45
the day. And I'm gonna sit in on an invoice.
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00:11:47
I want to work with my marketing and payroll. But
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00:11:49
during that time I'm like, well let me work on
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00:11:51
five design. It's a mom to be able to catch
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00:11:52
myself a little bit more and say, you know what?
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00:11:54
This isn't like, the brainstorming that multitasking that this is
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00:11:57
me losing my way.
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00:11:58
Like I could've focused on the guy. And, and that's
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00:12:01
the, the downside of it is, is you constantly have
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00:12:05
to be conscious and, and find in and see yourself
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00:12:08
doing that. And if I put yourself on the bus
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00:12:09
and say, no, no, no. Well, so, you know, for
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00:12:11
me, what helps is actually being diagnosed with the ADHD
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00:12:16
helped me develop the ability to make a list and,
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00:12:19
and stick to a schedule per day, what I'm going
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00:12:20
to do Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, and then the weekends.
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00:12:23
I usually play by day. And, and that was something
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00:12:25
that I never did. And, and, and that always kept
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00:12:28
me in the butt too, because you know, self doubt
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00:12:30
kicks in, especially when you're dealing with, you know, depression,
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00:12:33
anxiety, ADHD, self doubt can be at kick in the
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00:12:36
ass. And when you set these goals and for some
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00:12:41
reason I think a lot of entrepreneurs set these unrealistic
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00:12:43
goals of what you're going to achieve and when you
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00:12:46
don't achieve them, because your mind, especially from me, my
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00:12:48
mind wandering everywhere you look down, he said, what the
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00:12:51
hell am I doing it?
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00:12:52
You know, like, like I didn't get anything done. I
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00:12:54
started at 20 tasks. I didn't give one single thing.
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00:12:57
And they had done it's aggravating, you know, but being
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00:13:01
able to have that label on it and say, okay,
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00:13:04
I've got to focus and I'm not going to let
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00:13:06
it control me. And I'm gonna finish all my tasks.
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00:13:08
It is rewarding at the end of the day, when,
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00:13:09
you know, you can check off everything on that list
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00:13:11
and, and know that you've actually succeeded in, in these
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00:13:14
small goals you set for yourself each day. So I
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00:13:17
can't say that there is definitely a benefit or a
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00:13:19
con from it, but it's kind of in the middle.
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00:13:21
Right.
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00:13:22
I mean, and, and that's a really good way to
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00:13:23
describe it. It's, you know, that your examples that you
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00:13:26
used there, you had mentioned obviously the, prior to the
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00:13:31
epiphany that you had a, you know, back in July
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00:13:34
of two years ago, people were out and you were
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00:13:37
noticing are, may be bearing the brunt. If you're like,
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00:13:40
Oh, you have some of your, your, your swings, you
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00:13:42
know, your ups downs, et cetera. I mean, w running
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00:13:46
your own business and, you know, a couple more mental
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00:13:49
health issues that the same time, or did you find
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00:13:51
that out? It see additional stress on pharma life than
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00:13:55
say, if you weren't obviously coping with mental health issues,
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00:13:58
are you were in a, a standard nine to five
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00:14:01
job versus running your own business?
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00:14:04
Well,
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00:14:08
I would say that in your meeting. So before I
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00:14:13
have the epiphany, how do I was dealing with, with
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00:14:15
the stresses of everyday life?
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00:14:17
Yeah, I mean, yeah, it just really, I, I guess
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00:14:19
I know of myself, for example, my wife's sufficient, a
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00:14:22
mental health has eyes to eye, and sometimes that can
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00:14:24
be a tough thing when you're trying to run a
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00:14:27
family or on a host household, et cetera, but we
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00:14:30
don't have, like, we both worked for other people. So
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00:14:33
I'm just curious, as you mentioned, entrepreneurs put so much
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00:14:36
more pressure on themselves. Did you know, how did that
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00:14:40
play out for yourself and your family while you are
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00:14:42
building a business and still understanding that you had, you
Speaker:
00:14:45
know, mental health issues that you, that you were battling,
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00:14:49
But it definitely added to the stress I'm in
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00:14:52
An eye and said, I really didn't have a plan.
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00:14:54
You know, you, you read all these, you know, motivational
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00:14:59
books and the business coach books and that, you know,
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00:15:01
they send out the plan, but from a lot of
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00:15:03
people in that, I want to say a lot of
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00:15:04
people in my industry, you get into this Usually, you
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00:15:08
know, when, when you're back in the corner, it's the
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00:15:10
cheapest industry to get into. So you kind of run
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00:15:13
along and we did the same time we signed up,
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00:15:14
they can, you know, weed, most of the lawns, we
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00:15:15
would just clean up and it will be simple, but
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00:15:18
we're in a month really took off then that first
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00:15:20
year. And we grew so fast that we didn't have
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00:15:22
the time to really establish the fan. So a plan
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00:15:25
So well, I'm, you know, somewhat conscious of, you know,
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00:15:29
I needed to work on self development and stuff, but
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00:15:31
I'm not really putting focus on it.
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00:15:33
I'm not paying attention to the stresses. The triggers are
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00:15:36
around me and I'm taking everything in and I'm not
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00:15:39
delegating at this point. And this is a really unusual
Speaker:
00:15:41
because before going to business for myself, I've ran businesses.
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00:15:44
I worked for corporations where I was Hi in higher
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00:15:46
positions, I've ran automotive dealerships is operations managers, but it's
Speaker:
00:15:51
always different when it's not your, as you can close
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00:15:52
the door or a drop your wrenches and your home
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00:15:54
for the day. So I wasn't really paying attention to
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00:15:57
the triggers around me. So the added stress was to
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00:15:59
get to the point where I would be waking up
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00:16:02
with the sweat two in the middle of the night,
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00:16:03
I was definitely jumped me. I was barking of the
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00:16:05
smallest things. I would say my oldest who's 14 now
Speaker:
00:16:10
remembers me being a snappy over the smallest thing.
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00:16:14
You, you know, like I'm trying to focus or in
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00:16:15
a bill and, you know, if someone would drop the
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00:16:17
cup and I'd lose my mind, I would say the
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00:16:20
focus of being conscious now in a meeting to myself
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00:16:24
that, you know, there was issues and I have to
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00:16:25
focus and I have to figure myself out and, you
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00:16:28
know, a lot or not what things can Sue me.
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00:16:30
And I think one of the biggest things for me
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00:16:33
in business was figuring out and, and developing and the
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00:16:36
ability to take the emotion out of business. And that's
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00:16:39
a lot of what I did is through the day
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00:16:40
I would, you know, I'm a bad phone, God carry
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00:16:42
on with that with me all day, you know, my
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00:16:45
numbers were down for the quarter, you know, I I'd
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00:16:47
be flipping out and, and it's good to be like
Speaker:
00:16:51
that. So your conscious of what you're business is doing,
Speaker:
00:16:52
but at the end of the day, you have to
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00:16:54
cut that cord and realize that you don't take that
Speaker:
00:16:56
with you.
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00:16:56
You know, we, I work in a home office. We're
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00:16:58
both in here. We know once we leave this office,
Speaker:
00:17:00
that's it, that it stays there. But even when doing
Speaker:
00:17:02
with customers at the moment, it's, you know, it's, it's
Speaker:
00:17:04
pretty scripted now for what we do with it. There's
Speaker:
00:17:07
no emotion about that. At the end of the day,
Speaker:
00:17:09
these are just people that are looking for a service,
Speaker:
00:17:12
the same way you walk into target and you see
Speaker:
00:17:14
a cheaper item on Amazon and by an Amazon and
Speaker:
00:17:16
they take the emotion and you move on to the
Speaker:
00:17:18
next. So taking the emotion out of business has definitely
Speaker:
00:17:21
helped me personally and professionally.
Speaker:
00:17:26
And, and how do you, how do you do that?
Speaker:
00:17:27
Cause I know you mentioned you had a, a very
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00:17:31
passionate passion for your business. How do you take the
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00:17:34
emotion? How would you allow them to take the emotion,
Speaker:
00:17:36
aware and understand that it's not personal? No. Is just
Speaker:
00:17:40
a business decision that was awkward. That can be easier
Speaker:
00:17:42
for you, or was that a hard thing for you
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00:17:43
to do?
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00:17:44
No. God, no. So like I said, it in the,
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00:17:46
I said in the last episode, so I grew up
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00:17:48
in Boston and I grew up in, in, in like
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00:17:52
a, an area in and around people that, ah, I
Speaker:
00:17:54
don't know if, remember you saying this is like you
Speaker:
00:17:56
brushed everything under the rug. And the build up of
Speaker:
00:17:58
emotion came out and it came out as a aggression
Speaker:
00:18:01
and like a lot of mint have we come out
Speaker:
00:18:03
are emotions. Don't usually come out with tears as they
Speaker:
00:18:04
come out in anger, we come out and we hit
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00:18:06
walls. We slam things, we raise our voices. And that
Speaker:
00:18:08
was me to the fullest extent. And that it didn't
Speaker:
00:18:11
matter who you were, you can be a potential customer
Speaker:
00:18:13
with a a hundred thousand dollars jobs. If I didn't
Speaker:
00:18:15
like your attitude, I'm just letting you know. And that
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00:18:16
was ignorant to me. But to, to say that it's
Speaker:
00:18:19
easy, God knows for me to, at least it wasn't
Speaker:
00:18:21
easy. It was a lot of swallow, my pride. And
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00:18:24
there were definitely hiccups along the way.
Speaker:
00:18:25
And you know, if it came to a point where
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00:18:27
it was like, you know, a customer, a fire just
Speaker:
00:18:30
from a job or for a maintenance account, I would
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00:18:31
take that to heart and be like, why are we
Speaker:
00:18:33
doing this? And that's where the self doubt would come
Speaker:
00:18:35
into play and say, you know, maybe I'm not meant
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00:18:37
for this. Maybe this isn't me. Maybe I need to
Speaker:
00:18:39
go, you know, put my resume on indeed and see
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00:18:41
if I can get another job managing someplace. Like, I'm
Speaker:
00:18:44
just, I'm not meant for this. And you would go
Speaker:
00:18:45
through this. I would constantly go through the cycle. And
Speaker:
00:18:47
then they have one day I just sat back and
Speaker:
00:18:49
I said, well, why don't, why or why not just
Speaker:
00:18:50
be a frigging, a robot? And you know, obviously you,
Speaker:
00:18:54
you mingle part of it is, is, you know, you
Speaker:
00:18:56
kinda have to swap the customer's and, and let them
Speaker:
00:18:58
know your personality. But you know, of the day it's
Speaker:
00:19:00
business where you're going to spend the money with you
Speaker:
00:19:02
or someone else, you have to sell it, you do
Speaker:
00:19:04
the job, that's it. And you move away and you
Speaker:
00:19:05
have to keep telling yourself, this is just business.
Speaker:
00:19:07
At the end of the day, what really matters is
Speaker:
00:19:08
what's at home. And that's what I've done for so
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00:19:11
long is I put so much emotion into the job
Speaker:
00:19:13
and took it home with me. It brought my home
Speaker:
00:19:15
life back in to work with me. I never had
Speaker:
00:19:17
those, those boundaries set. And that was a lot of
Speaker:
00:19:21
it. And on the personal side of setting boundaries, that
Speaker:
00:19:25
was one of them. I had never set for myself,
Speaker:
00:19:26
for my wife, for my family. We were all in
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00:19:28
each other's business. And we never had our alone time
Speaker:
00:19:31
and setting boundaries and, and guidelines for things at home.
Speaker:
00:19:35
In my personal life. It really helped me and the
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00:19:36
professional aspect where I could say, well, you know what,
Speaker:
00:19:39
if I, if I give my wife her space and
Speaker:
00:19:41
they do this, everybody is kind of like, well, what
Speaker:
00:19:42
if I could do this and say, you know what,
Speaker:
00:19:44
I'm not gonna answer my phone at eight o'clock at
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00:19:46
night, I'm going to set my phone, my business Line
Speaker:
00:19:49
to ring from 7:00 AM to 5:00 AM.
Speaker:
00:19:51
And that's it. If you need to reach me, it's
Speaker:
00:19:53
a landscape and there's, there's no emergency involved the landscaping
Speaker:
00:19:56
that you need to reach me at two o'clock in
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00:19:58
the morning. Right. And, and yeah, it was definitely tough.
Speaker:
00:20:02
But once you set these boundaries for yourself and you
Speaker:
00:20:04
realize like, at the end of the day, it's just
Speaker:
00:20:07
a business, you know, it's not life or death with
Speaker:
00:20:09
this, you know, we're not doctors, we're not lawyers, we're
Speaker:
00:20:13
not medics. You know, its the seriousness kind of takes
Speaker:
00:20:16
away from it and yeah, it definitely helped us out
Speaker:
00:20:19
the, they set the boundaries. Thank you.
Speaker:
00:20:21
And I think that's why I like about some of
Speaker:
00:20:22
the new on the newer smartphones as well. There have
Speaker:
00:20:25
these settings on them, you know, for like a digital
Speaker:
00:20:27
wellbeing to make sure that your stepping away from screen
Speaker:
00:20:30
time to look after your mental health site.
Speaker:
00:20:33
Well, you know, I love that. I noticed that the
Speaker:
00:20:35
iPhone has it now where they can actually monitor actually
Speaker:
00:20:38
said it for, for Instagram and Facebook. Once you hit,
Speaker:
00:20:41
you know, maybe 30 minutes per day of social media
Speaker:
00:20:44
time, it actually blocks you all. I mean, all you
Speaker:
00:20:45
have to do is sit in the code, but it
Speaker:
00:20:46
it's, you know, you can do, you can go back
Speaker:
00:20:48
and actually read the data that, you know, you you've
Speaker:
00:20:50
just been spending way too much time on the phone,
Speaker:
00:20:52
you know, FaceTime it for three hours and will back
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00:20:54
away from that a little bit.
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00:20:56
When we spoke earlier about the, the industry and how,
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00:21:00
you know, w we, we simply see more or less
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00:21:02
seems to be more people in the green industry talking
Speaker:
00:21:05
about their mental health. Now I know on some of
Speaker:
00:21:07
the Facebook groups, you have people like a, I can't
Speaker:
00:21:13
remember his name though. That's not the bad bits and
Speaker:
00:21:14
the lawn care of legends, a Facebook group, for example,
Speaker:
00:21:17
there's a lot of discussions about mental health and how
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00:21:20
you look after yourself, you know, in the stress industry,
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00:21:23
what, what do you feel is the, the support networks
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00:21:26
like in your industry do grin and district rules talk
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00:21:29
about it enough or is it still something that, that
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00:21:31
needs to be spoken about more or
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00:21:34
All right. So I'm going to kind of categorize this
Speaker:
00:21:38
and that. And they know that the green industry in
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00:21:40
mental health and all is it isn't directed just towards
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00:21:42
one demographic, but I'm going to speak in the male
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00:21:44
perspective on this because the green industry is predominantly male
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00:21:51
and have not taken away from females on the bus.
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00:21:52
I'm just speaking from a male perspective because I've been
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00:21:54
trying to focus a lot on mil, mental health and
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00:21:57
masculinity, positive masculinity And and all that. And I think
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00:22:01
that in the past year, there have been a few
Speaker:
00:22:03
guys that have brought up mental health. And I think
Speaker:
00:22:06
it's definitely something that's more talked about, but it's not.
Speaker:
00:22:10
So, you know, its not so fluent to say, it's
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00:22:13
just like, Hey listen, I'm, I'm depressed.
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00:22:15
I'm in, there is different, there's different types of depression.
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00:22:18
There's different types of a lack of mental health that
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00:22:22
you have to watch out for. And in part of
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00:22:24
the, you know, in the green industry, especially is, you
Speaker:
00:22:26
know, you see a lot of guys on social media
Speaker:
00:22:29
that will go on there and it, it sounds crazy,
Speaker:
00:22:33
but we have as adults that you would look in
Speaker:
00:22:34
another person to say, wow, well that guy has got
Speaker:
00:22:36
it going on. Or you know, what does he do?
Speaker:
00:22:38
And he has sponsorships through manufacturers. He has a brand
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00:22:42
new truck, a brand new trailer. And I actually spoke
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00:22:45
with this on one of the, one of the affiliations
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00:22:47
that I've had for PM. I've had people message me.
Speaker:
00:22:50
And it's why, you know, you, you really can't look
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00:22:53
at what these people have on social media and, and
Speaker:
00:22:56
take it into your own business.
Speaker:
00:22:57
And, and one of the things that, that I did
Speaker:
00:23:00
for the longest time in this was not even realizing
Speaker:
00:23:02
it was like I was in such a rush. And
Speaker:
00:23:05
I think a lot of guys, if you're going to
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00:23:08
speak about, you know, Entrepreneurship or green industry ownership, business'
Speaker:
00:23:12
ownership and, and a lack of Mental, Health one of
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00:23:15
the things that you have to realize to set realistic
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00:23:17
guidelines and timelines. There is no race in business. The,
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00:23:21
the one thing about the green industry as that is
Speaker:
00:23:23
so lucrative, I mean, this is $186 billion business. There's
Speaker:
00:23:27
enough money to go around and there's not a race.
Speaker:
00:23:29
Everybody takes it their own pace. So I, I wish
Speaker:
00:23:32
guys, you really set that standard where, you know what
Speaker:
00:23:36
people know how long you've you've taken to get where
Speaker:
00:23:39
you are.
Speaker:
00:23:39
You know, if you are not, everybody is going to
Speaker:
00:23:41
be a, you know, a one year in one year
Speaker:
00:23:44
of success coming the gate. So it just sets the
Speaker:
00:23:48
standard guidelines and makes sure that you're expressing when you're
Speaker:
00:23:51
talking about things that I think that's a big, big,
Speaker:
00:23:55
no to make is, is, you know, let people know
Speaker:
00:23:57
that it takes time too, to get where you are
Speaker:
00:23:59
and that, you know, you're going to go through these,
Speaker:
00:24:03
these feelings of, of, of being down in, in the
Speaker:
00:24:05
right and, and self doubt. But yet there are a
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00:24:08
few guys that have talked about it. I don't think
Speaker:
00:24:10
that it's, it's very out there. I think that there
Speaker:
00:24:13
is definitely a, a, there's still a stigma on it
Speaker:
00:24:15
in the green industry, especially when you get to the
Speaker:
00:24:17
construction side of things because, and, and I hate using
Speaker:
00:24:21
the world a, what do they say, false masculinity,
Speaker:
00:24:24
Right? You know, that
Speaker:
00:24:25
You you're still kinda have that aspect of it where
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00:24:28
its like, you know, you are going to meet up,
Speaker:
00:24:29
let your balls drop it and deal with it. And
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00:24:32
I feel like it's a, it's a different time. And
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00:24:35
I don't think that that even employee's, you know, this
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00:24:39
is a very demanding industry, especially when you get into
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00:24:42
the landscape and the hardscape construction side of it and
Speaker:
00:24:45
deadlines are a tough to meet. You know, if you
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00:24:47
have a bad run up a weather, rain or snow,
Speaker:
00:24:51
it, it can definitely set you back. And I don't
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00:24:53
think that enough guys talk about Stillness in reflection when
Speaker:
00:24:58
you do this. And I think it's constantly go, go,
Speaker:
00:25:00
go, go. The one thing that I do see a
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00:25:03
lot is the same guys that, and I'm not trying
Speaker:
00:25:06
to finger point anybody here, but the same guys that
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00:25:09
I see talk about it, you know, you go back
Speaker:
00:25:11
in two months ago, it's the 80, 90 hour week
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00:25:13
crying.
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00:25:14
And, and I honestly think that's a crock of shit,
Speaker:
00:25:16
excuse my language for the client. But that's one thing
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00:25:18
that, and I used to be like that. And even
Speaker:
00:25:20
before I get to the industry, I would work six
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00:25:22
to 80 hours a week grinding. And it's like, you
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00:25:24
know, the Lake, it was like for Why yeah. For
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00:25:26
what to make someone else money. And, and, and even
Speaker:
00:25:28
today I go, why should work? Well, why should I
Speaker:
00:25:30
work 80 hours a week? Because you know what I
Speaker:
00:25:31
mean? I like my time, you know, there was no
Speaker:
00:25:34
reason that I can in 40 to 50 hours a
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00:25:36
week, figure out what I get to figure out to
Speaker:
00:25:38
make paycheck and to put some money in the bank.
Speaker:
00:25:41
And if you are working 80 hours a week and
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00:25:42
I get that, you're going to have times where you
Speaker:
00:25:44
have to grind out what are you going to have
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00:25:46
time to self reflect and really like figure your thoughts
Speaker:
00:25:49
out and have a moment of stillness. And, and I
Speaker:
00:25:51
keep saying Stillness because this is one thing that's someone
Speaker:
00:25:53
brought up and they're like, Josh when do you take
Speaker:
00:25:55
that moment?
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00:25:55
And still in it, when you're out there, quote unquote,
Speaker:
00:25:57
doing the grind 80 hours a week. And I'm like,
Speaker:
00:25:59
well, you don't want to be in my car. And
Speaker:
00:26:00
I'm like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. You're,
Speaker:
00:26:01
you're not actually still, this is when you're not meditating
Speaker:
00:26:04
with, at the point where you're just sitting on your,
Speaker:
00:26:07
on your, your self or, and you're staring off into
Speaker:
00:26:09
the wall and actually figuring out mapping out your thoughts
Speaker:
00:26:12
and, and what's going on with you because there may
Speaker:
00:26:14
be underlining things that are going on with you. Maybe
Speaker:
00:26:16
your down, maybe you are in self doubt or maybe
Speaker:
00:26:17
there is a little hint of depression or maybe you're
Speaker:
00:26:19
fine, but you're not taking that minute to figure that
Speaker:
00:26:21
out. And you're, you're acting on impulse and just a,
Speaker:
00:26:24
a trigger reaction to get an answer automatically. You know,
Speaker:
00:26:28
the, the easiest way is to blame something or a
Speaker:
00:26:30
fall in the, the, the, the quickest results, you know,
Speaker:
00:26:32
rather than figure things out. And I think a lot
Speaker:
00:26:33
of guys, especially in my industry, you need to take
Speaker:
00:26:37
that moment of a, again, I hate the word self-care,
Speaker:
00:26:41
it's another thing, but actually pay attention to your physical,
Speaker:
00:26:46
mental health or reflect on, you know, where you are,
Speaker:
00:26:49
where you're going to be appreciated with where you are,
Speaker:
00:26:51
you know, things take time and, and take those moments
Speaker:
00:26:54
of stillness and really just blank out.
Speaker:
00:26:56
And when I say Stillness to me to shut the
Speaker:
00:26:57
phone off the wife or girlfriend partner, whatever it is,
Speaker:
00:27:00
kids go away and just reflect on your day 10
Speaker:
00:27:04
minutes, just reflect any of that. And that's something that
Speaker:
00:27:05
we do every single day. Now I do it in
Speaker:
00:27:07
the morning of the month at 5:00 AM, or I
Speaker:
00:27:09
don't touch anybody talking to anybody. I go right into
Speaker:
00:27:11
my couch, I have my coffee. And I just think,
Speaker:
00:27:14
and at the end of the day, I try to
Speaker:
00:27:15
do the same thing that I sit down. And I
Speaker:
00:27:17
really, you know, I take in what happens if I'm
Speaker:
00:27:19
having an argument with a wife and I, you know,
Speaker:
00:27:21
I don't wanna address it then if I'm not to
Speaker:
00:27:24
act on impulse and try to come up with an
Speaker:
00:27:25
area of the answer, cause I don't have to have
Speaker:
00:27:27
one right. Then if it's now you move with the
Speaker:
00:27:29
customer at the same day, and it's the end of
Speaker:
00:27:30
the day, I, I calm down and come back and
Speaker:
00:27:33
realize its not that big of a deal.
Speaker:
00:27:35
All right. And that, that came to that lends into
Speaker:
00:27:39
something that is going to ask you, you actually are.
Speaker:
00:27:41
And I, and I love that moment of stillness. I
Speaker:
00:27:43
think that's a great approach to tech because like you
Speaker:
00:27:46
mentioned, there's so much pressure to do X, Y, Z
Speaker:
00:27:50
either in business, personal life, family, in our peers, et
Speaker:
00:27:53
cetera. And we don't take that moment of stillness and
Speaker:
00:27:57
that quiet time to really reflect on a success because
Speaker:
00:28:00
often we, we were really good as a human race
Speaker:
00:28:02
and beating ourselves up and we don't do it anywhere
Speaker:
00:28:06
near enough to actually congratulate ourselves and some of this
Speaker:
00:28:09
stuff we have pulled off. So I really liked that
Speaker:
00:28:11
fact and that kinda ties into what I was gonna
Speaker:
00:28:14
ask. I mean, based on your own lessons and experiences,
Speaker:
00:28:18
you may have already answered it with your, you know,
Speaker:
00:28:20
with that, that quote you just came up with.
Speaker:
00:28:22
Oh, you just mentioned. So what would be the one
Speaker:
00:28:25
tip that you would give to anyone currently gone through
Speaker:
00:28:28
the same journey of trying to build a business or
Speaker:
00:28:30
growing a business and running a business while you know,
Speaker:
00:28:33
are coping with mental health issues as there is one
Speaker:
00:28:36
thing that you have learned from say the last five
Speaker:
00:28:38
years of being in business, coupled with your own journey
Speaker:
00:28:41
with mental health and your ongoing Gen that you would
Speaker:
00:28:45
offer up advice to young people that are maybe in
Speaker:
00:28:47
the same situation, but don't have the cottage to recognize
Speaker:
00:28:50
that would speak about it.
Speaker:
00:28:52
All right. You ready? Its as simple as it is,
Speaker:
00:28:54
like I said before to reflect. And I think the
Speaker:
00:28:58
people that deal with mental illness and in are in
Speaker:
00:29:00
business for themselves are constantly reaching for that next step.
Speaker:
00:29:04
Like, you know, what's better within the next thing. What's
Speaker:
00:29:06
the next thing because you know, in mental health, you
Speaker:
00:29:09
know, sometimes the easiest thing is, you know, when something
Speaker:
00:29:11
goes wrong, it's easier to just blame something for simple
Speaker:
00:29:14
answer to that, just to get a simple answer. So
Speaker:
00:29:16
it's open it, right? So if you take that moment
Speaker:
00:29:19
and if you really, you really reflects on, on your
Speaker:
00:29:22
day, on your month and your year end and really
Speaker:
00:29:24
just taking in and seeing where you are, you're going
Speaker:
00:29:26
to realize that you were a lot further along in
Speaker:
00:29:30
life and the journey of Entrepreneurship than you realize.
Speaker:
00:29:33
And people are constantly looking for the next step, but
Speaker:
00:29:35
you know, we, we do this, you know, we can
Speaker:
00:29:37
go out to work for ourselves to, for freedom, whether
Speaker:
00:29:40
it's financial freedom or, or if it's work wife caught
Speaker:
00:29:43
only mine was a little bit of both, but now
Speaker:
00:29:44
I'm realizing that, you know, the work life balance in
Speaker:
00:29:48
the family time away is the money, you know, and
Speaker:
00:29:51
of course it's great to make tons of money who,
Speaker:
00:29:54
who doesn't want money in it, it it's, it's what
Speaker:
00:29:57
we do. But at the same time, you have to
Speaker:
00:29:59
look back and reflect to where you are and what
Speaker:
00:30:01
you've done. And there's no this invisible timeline in a
Speaker:
00:30:06
race that we set for us. So you need to
Speaker:
00:30:07
get rid of that. It doesn't matter if you're, you
Speaker:
00:30:11
know, a millionaire by the time of your dirty 25
Speaker:
00:30:15
or if you get $500 on your bank account at
Speaker:
00:30:17
40, you know, it's, it's never too late to correct
Speaker:
00:30:20
your steps to look back.
Speaker:
00:30:21
But if you are constantly reflecting in and taking these
Speaker:
00:30:24
moments, it's still an issue Stillness and actually thinking about
Speaker:
00:30:27
your thoughts and putting them through the ringer, you you're
Speaker:
00:30:30
going to realize, Hey, I'm happy with where I am.
Speaker:
00:30:33
It's it's a lot easier to pay attention to the
Speaker:
00:30:36
day to day, rather than just going well, this year
Speaker:
00:30:38
sucked because X, Y, and Z didn't happen, but you
Speaker:
00:30:41
know what, ABCD EMG also happened and they were positive.
Speaker:
00:30:45
Right? Exactly. At least. Yeah. I mean, XYZ. Is that
Speaker:
00:30:47
fair enough if that doesn't happen, but that's pretty laterals
Speaker:
00:30:49
of the alphabet. You've got another 20, 32 a player
Speaker:
00:30:51
of, so, okay, so Josh yeah. I mean, this is
Speaker:
00:30:55
again another or eliminate in chat and I really appreciate
Speaker:
00:30:58
you coming on and share it and your experiences, you
Speaker:
00:30:59
know, one of our listeners, it says it's always, you
Speaker:
00:31:01
know, welcomed where can people, because I know, you know,
Speaker:
00:31:04
run your own podcast, where can people find you online
Speaker:
00:31:07
to have a listen to your podcast and Bea, you
Speaker:
00:31:10
know, to just check it out online
Speaker:
00:31:12
On the podcast, it's that we skate podcast, you can
Speaker:
00:31:14
find me on Apple and anchor and you can find
Speaker:
00:31:17
me on Instagram at J Curry, J a Y S
Speaker:
00:31:19
C U R R I a.
Speaker:
00:31:22
Awesome. And I'll be sure to drop all of these
Speaker:
00:31:24
links in to the show notes. So if people who
Speaker:
00:31:26
are looking for it or, you know, direct link, so
Speaker:
00:31:27
you can find them and to show us, okay, so
Speaker:
00:31:30
again, Josh so, like I said, I really appreciate you
Speaker:
00:31:32
jumping into the show today, but I think there has
Speaker:
00:31:34
been some really good takeaways for our listeners too, you
Speaker:
00:31:37
know, whether its own growing a business or running a
Speaker:
00:31:40
business deal and, you know, with a wild grew up
Speaker:
00:31:42
in a family and also obviously dealing with mental health
Speaker:
00:31:45
issues. I think there's a lot of strong takeaways for
Speaker:
00:31:48
people to take today. So I really appreciate it. Josh
Speaker:
00:31:50
Wait, can I throw it one more thing? I get
Speaker:
00:31:52
there before we can hang up in a number going
Speaker:
00:31:55
to push this a little bit on my, on my
Speaker:
00:31:56
green industry pages. And the one thing I want to
Speaker:
00:31:58
leave everybody with here is, you know, we, I talk
Speaker:
00:32:01
a lot on a lot of the platforms in a
Speaker:
00:32:02
lot of noise about having your, your coach, your team
Speaker:
00:32:05
in place and your team doesn't have to be inside
Speaker:
00:32:07
your company, but it also falls like your accountants, your
Speaker:
00:32:09
attorneys, your, or your tax professionals in, in one thing
Speaker:
00:32:13
that I'll push to help for me is I consider
Speaker:
00:32:15
my therapist or my group of who I talk to
Speaker:
00:32:18
you outside of the Marine industry. And that's part of
Speaker:
00:32:19
my team. So you, you know, my therapy, as far
Speaker:
00:32:22
as, like I said, I've been on kind of a
Speaker:
00:32:24
hiatus from that right now because I'm trying to break,
Speaker:
00:32:25
try to figure out my own lots and see where
Speaker:
00:32:27
I am as hard as there would be. I think
Speaker:
00:32:29
that's a very essential tool when you're only a business,
Speaker:
00:32:32
at least for this industry as having someone outside of
Speaker:
00:32:34
your industry, whether it's a mental health professional, or a
Speaker:
00:32:39
mentor to speak with them, talk to about all aspects
Speaker:
00:32:41
of life, not just business, because you do need a
Speaker:
00:32:43
vented out and we are not all Hercules.
Speaker:
00:32:46
We need to be able to get these thoughts out
Speaker:
00:32:47
and this isn't, you know, call on anybody a wish
Speaker:
00:32:50
to say that you need a polo to cry on
Speaker:
00:32:51
our shoulder crying on, but sometimes you do figuratively have
Speaker:
00:32:56
that person or persons in your toolbox and your team.
Speaker:
00:33:01
Not that a solid advice. And I would agree 100%.
Speaker:
00:33:04
I know from my own point of view, having someone
Speaker:
00:33:06
at that, was it gone back to your statement about
Speaker:
00:33:09
stepping away emotionally and making sure, you know, looking at
Speaker:
00:33:12
it from us as a professional angle or a, like
Speaker:
00:33:14
a, a third party angle, if you're like completely agreed
Speaker:
00:33:17
that that's excellent advice Josh for sure. Definitely. All right
Speaker:
00:33:21
guys. Well, this has been another episode of life through
Speaker:
00:33:24
John. I hope you enjoyed that. And like I say,
Speaker:
00:33:26
I'll be dropping off of the details about where you
Speaker:
00:33:28
can find Josh ah, to listen to the podcast and
Speaker:
00:33:31
just connect with him one lane and the show notes.
Speaker:
00:33:34
If you're enjoying the show and be sure to live
Speaker:
00:33:36
in a view, you can leave it really easily on
Speaker:
00:33:38
read this podcast.com forward slash and drop it.
Speaker:
00:33:42
And I'll show you how to deliver it up to
Speaker:
00:33:43
you on your favorite podcast channels until the next thing
Speaker:
00:33:45
guys, take care, speak soon. And <inaudible> Yeah, this has
Speaker:
00:33:51
been live through a DRAM. Be sure to subscribe. So
Speaker:
00:33:53
you don't miss an episode And listen to your podcast
Speaker:
00:33:58
or Stories, if you've enjoyed this, week's, Your be sure
Speaker:
00:34:01
to subscribe. So you don't miss an episode and feel
Speaker:
00:34:03
free to leave that review in iTunes to help other
Speaker:
00:34:05
trainers show too. And we'll see you the next time
