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AK219 is so real.
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What can I say except, welcome back.
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You're welcome back to the show.
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Aidan Maloney, Kevan Boland, the two arbiters of chaos.
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Hi.
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How we doing today?
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I'm fantastic.
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I wasn't asking you.
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Oh.
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Well, how are you guys doing?
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Good answer.
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I was asking our lovely listener.
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Good answer.
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Good answer.
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I'm sure they answered out loud in front of other people that maybe aren't in on the bit.
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Sure.
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And now maybe feel embarrassed because, hey, you're talking to some.
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Look a little psycho.
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Yeah.
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Saying things randomly.
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Like an American psycho.
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And you're not actually talking to them.
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You're just talking to a camera.
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And then you gotta go.
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And a microphone.
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Return some video tapes.
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And then maybe you have to be the one editing it too.
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So you get to see yourself talk like in the third person in the first person.
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Oh, trust me.
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It's trippy.
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I've had to do it.
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That's crazy considering the nonfactuality of that statement.
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That statement's counterfactual to the fact that I.
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No, I don't think so.
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Well, you don't have to think so.
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I know so.
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Well, you see thinking and knowing is two different things.
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What program do I.
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Or, oh, I guess.
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What program do I use?
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What program do you use to edit?
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Audacity.
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Video edit.
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Audacity.
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No, that's not.
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That ain't it.
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Yeah.
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No.
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You don't have the video audacity mod thing.
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Oh, of course the mod pack.
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For sure.
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It was DLC, but then they said, you know what?
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Fuck it.
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We're just gonna put it in a season pass.
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Give us $30.
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For sure.
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Every month.
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And I gave it to them because I needed to edit.
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Yeah, I'm sure you did.
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And yeah, you were great at it.
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I was.
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If it were to ever have happened.
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If I would just say the word and I'll just take over.
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I know it's tough.
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I would love to.
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Let's do that for today's YouTube video.
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I'm gonna sit you with the camera on and the mic listening.
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Is that our gaming content for today?
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That's the gaming content.
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A learn to edit simulator?
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Well, guess what?
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I'm gonna pass it with flying colors.
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Why would you have to learn?
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I'm not.
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I don't have to.
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We're just playing it because you're trying to show my inferiority to everything.
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No.
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You just claimed you edited and that's not true.
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Maybe we'll find out when this podcast finally reaches its ultimate climax that I have indeed
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been editing the whole time.
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I so wish for that to be true.
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But hey, we can't have everything we want.
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But you can have everything you want, lovely listener.
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Vibe of the Week, WTF and Burning Questions.
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Starting out, of course, in that specific order.
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We will never fucking change it until like season 9 when we definitely change it.
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Yeah.
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No, 100%.
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Something to look forward to.
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But hey, vibes.
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Fun Funny Holes Marie will happen in the last seven days.
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Mind you, that was a great segue I just want to add.
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Thanks man.
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It really was.
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We did it together.
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I'll have to edit that out.
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Oh.
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I'd love to see you try.
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Go right ahead.
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I know you would.
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I've been okay.
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Really nothing super eventful the past week.
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Still just working and playing hockey.
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However I...
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Did you kiss any dads?
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No, I didn't kiss any dads.
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Why?
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Not yet.
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Oh, not yet.
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Oh.
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Because I'm not a father yet.
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Well, we can figure that out on the Patreon.
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Off air or on Patreon.
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Let's see.
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This whole month of February, well last month February, my skate took a bit of a hit because
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of Valentine's Day.
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So the first skate of the month was a little messed up.
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Actually, no, I'm sorry.
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Was it the first skate of the month?
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I mean, you tell me.
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You know what?
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I'll do live research later.
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Okay.
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All I'm going to say is for the first time, like I usually pay this bill every week because
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it's $410 for an hour of ice.
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It's a little steep, eh?
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Well, you know, inflation.
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I guess.
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So with everything that happened this month, god damn it, last month for hockey, the month
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of February, it got a little crazy.
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And I do have the money for the bill, but for the first time I'm paying just for the
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whole month.
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And it was crazy to sit there in my room with a huge wad of cash in my hand of $1,230.
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Damn.
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I felt like I could just go waste it on hookers and blow.
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Sure.
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Like if I do that, I'm bound by a contract to this facility.
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And if I were not to give them their money, I could possibly, I don't know if I'll go
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to jail, but-
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You signed a contract with the ice rink?
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Your signature.
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Yes.
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On the paper.
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Yeah.
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Wow.
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Which is crazy because ever since I started this skate back in June of last year, I've
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just been paying on a weekly basis.
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I've never been short on funds or anything like that.
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But I guess it's the principle of the fact that every other club or skate that goes on
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there is bound by contract and I'm the only one who wasn't.
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Oh, I see.
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So they're just like, hey, and I've talked to Bob.
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He's a cool guy.
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So I understand that he probably didn't want to tell me that I have to sign a contract
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because he's like, Kev, you're a good guy.
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You pay on time.
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He's like, I love the friendship that we have.
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He's like, you haven't fucked us over or anything like that.
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I'm like, right, if anything, I've brought you money because you guys wanted to get rid
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of this spot anyway.
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So you should be thanking me, but I guess I get it.
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He's like, yeah, just contract, read it over.
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It's not that big of a deal.
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At the end of the day, it's a business and they need their money.
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Sure.
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Yeah.
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And of course, in the contract, it said if anyone, including me, were to damage something,
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like the bill for a damaged door is like $1,000.
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If you lose something that's in the locker room, I forget what exactly it was, but that's
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a pretty hefty fee to replace it.
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I mean, it's just stuff that normally wouldn't happen in there because it's a contract.
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You've got to have different clauses and yeah, for sure.
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But other than that, I mean- You should know the contracts.
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You signed for AK-219.
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Yeah, you see, it was so long ago that I really don't remember.
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Well, you also signed the contract of auto renewal.
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So it's clever how I did that.
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Is it a blood contract?
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Well, it depends if you bled on it.
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Well, no, no, no, dude, I need to sign in blood.
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Oh, no, not this time.
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That was for the demon pact.
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Okay, okay.
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For the demon scroll.
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Yeah.
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Doom scroll, as I call it.
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Kevin, what do you know about doom scrolling?
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Oh, God, that's a different topic for a different day.
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But other than hockey, I did end up watching, this past weekend was the elimination chamber,
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which is a wrestling pay-per-view, WWE.
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You guys know.
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Yeah, everyone knows.
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And everyone knows who John Cena is.
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He's a household name.
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It's more of a household name than someone like John Cena.
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I don't know where you were going with that.
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It never built up steam.
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You have John Cena, right?
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Real name John Cena.
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And then you have John Cena with an S that no one knows.
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That no one knows.
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John Cena is the wrestler.
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I'm sure you meant to say John Cena.
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God.
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Are you okay, buddy?
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I'm gonna rip up this contract.
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You don't even know where it is.
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I don't, but I'll find it.
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You lost your copy.
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Anyway, I watched the chamber this past week and it was a great pay-per-view.
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All the matches were great, honestly.
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But the fact that they finally, ever since I was a kid, John Cena has always been a baby
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face in the company, which means good guy.
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And now finally, after 20 plus years of hustle, loyalty, respect.
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Now that's an inside bet.
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He turned on Cody Wodes, kicked him in the nuts.
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His story.
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Yeah.
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Beat the shit out of him, made him bleed, and then left the ring with The Rock and Travis
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Scott.
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I don't know why Travis Scott was in the ring with them when this all went down.
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Dude was literally in the corner burning sage and smoking a blunt.
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Right.
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I shit you not.
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But then that whole segment was hilarious.
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You got this guy in the corner burning sage, smoking a blunt.
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Cody Wodes said, hey Rock, go fuck yourself.
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And then we had a John Cena heel turn all in the span of 90 seconds.
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It was fucking crazy.
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That's your average WWE day though.
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I mean, think about it.
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Well, in the Netflix era, in the Triple H era of kind of eggy PG stuff, where you can
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sit, but it's Netflix.
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You can say fuck.
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But you had one of the stars of Degeneration X now in charge of the company.
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We should have known it was going to end up here.
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That's true.
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I'm all for it.
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Yeah, it's better off for it really.
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And I'm all for John Cena being a heel because this will be an insane buildup to mania for
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sure.
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I just couldn't believe I witnessed that after watching him throughout my childhood as the
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always the good guy.
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I'm sure it was pretty Bing chilling.
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He just can't stop me.
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And the other crazy part is that all these hints were in front of us the entire time
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ever since he didn't have to qualify for the chamber.
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He just entered himself in.
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Oh, sure.
250
00:09:31,400 -->
00:09:38,400
When he won the chamber, he took advantage of Seth Rollins' Curb Stomp on CM Punk, which
251
00:09:38,400 -->
00:09:41,860
is something Cena would never do is take advantage of something like that.
252
00:09:41,860 -->
00:09:45,560
He always posts cryptic pictures on his Instagram with no context.
253
00:09:45,560 -->
00:09:46,560
That's weird.
254
00:09:46,560 -->
00:09:47,560
Yeah.
255
00:09:47,560 -->
00:09:49,520
No, he does it all the fucking time.
256
00:09:49,520 -->
00:09:50,520
It's hilarious.
257
00:09:50,520 -->
00:09:51,520
Recently?
258
00:09:51,520 -->
00:09:52,520
Recently, yeah.
259
00:09:52,520 -->
00:09:58,800
A few weeks ago he shared a picture of He-Man and Skeletor sharing a milkshake.
260
00:09:58,800 -->
00:10:03,480
Skeletor being the rock, him being He-Man, you know, sharing and teaming up and stuff
261
00:10:03,480 -->
00:10:04,480
like that.
262
00:10:04,480 -->
00:10:06,640
So it's all been there in front of our faces.
263
00:10:06,640 -->
00:10:08,520
And it's just the storytelling.
264
00:10:08,520 -->
00:10:14,280
It's just how you say in the meme world, cinema.
265
00:10:14,280 -->
00:10:15,600
That's pretty much all I've been up to.
266
00:10:15,600 -->
00:10:26,080
A couple minor where my situation with a woman is just, I don't even know how it's going
267
00:10:26,080 -->
00:10:27,680
to go when she gets back.
268
00:10:27,680 -->
00:10:32,080
Honestly, at this point I could give a fuck anymore.
269
00:10:32,080 -->
00:10:33,080
Could or couldn't?
270
00:10:33,080 -->
00:10:34,360
I couldn't.
271
00:10:34,360 -->
00:10:38,000
And thinking back to everything that just happens in my life, my senior quote in the
272
00:10:38,000 -->
00:10:41,640
yearbook should have been, I'm God's favorite little play thing.
273
00:10:41,640 -->
00:10:49,520
Because my life is one of the best jokes that I know at my expense.
274
00:10:49,520 -->
00:10:53,720
Everyone laughs with me until they're laughing at me.
275
00:10:53,720 -->
00:10:58,400
And the laughing with me portion is about a third of the laughing at me portion.
276
00:10:58,400 -->
00:11:01,040
And you just kind of learn to live with it.
277
00:11:01,040 -->
00:11:03,680
And I'm still learning.
278
00:11:03,680 -->
00:11:04,680
That's pretty epic.
279
00:11:04,680 -->
00:11:05,680
Go ahead.
280
00:11:05,680 -->
00:11:06,680
Okay.
281
00:11:06,680 -->
00:11:10,200
Well, I've been pretty tired.
282
00:11:10,200 -->
00:11:11,200
Very tired.
283
00:11:11,200 -->
00:11:17,160
I'm wearing a hat today, which I never do on camera because why would I need to?
284
00:11:17,160 -->
00:11:23,160
But I was wearing a hat at work today that I didn't know left a huge red mark on my forehead.
285
00:11:23,160 -->
00:11:24,160
I'm not sure.
286
00:11:24,160 -->
00:11:25,680
It was literally wearing it so damn tight.
287
00:11:25,680 -->
00:11:26,760
I can see it.
288
00:11:26,760 -->
00:11:27,760
It's on there?
289
00:11:27,760 -->
00:11:28,760
I can see it.
290
00:11:28,760 -->
00:11:29,760
Yeah.
291
00:11:29,760 -->
00:11:30,760
Yeah.
292
00:11:30,760 -->
00:11:31,760
The listeners will have to take my word.
293
00:11:31,760 -->
00:11:32,760
The viewers can see it.
294
00:11:32,760 -->
00:11:38,120
So like, I didn't just want to have a huge red mark on my face the entire episode.
295
00:11:38,120 -->
00:11:44,640
Because I'm wearing a hat and it's making me very warm, which is also a choice because
296
00:11:44,640 -->
00:11:50,640
I decided to wear a sweater in the studio, which is usually warm, but it was cold and
297
00:11:50,640 -->
00:11:51,640
now it's warm.
298
00:11:51,640 -->
00:11:52,640
When we first entered the studio it was a little cold.
299
00:11:52,640 -->
00:11:56,480
That's why I'm wearing my flannel, which by the way, peep the shirt.
300
00:11:56,480 -->
00:11:57,480
It's over here.
301
00:11:57,480 -->
00:11:58,480
That's McLovin.
302
00:11:58,480 -->
00:11:59,480
Oh, nice.
303
00:11:59,480 -->
00:12:00,480
It's a great shirt.
304
00:12:00,480 -->
00:12:01,480
Who is that?
305
00:12:01,480 -->
00:12:02,480
I just said his name.
306
00:12:02,480 -->
00:12:03,480
I don't know that man.
307
00:12:03,480 -->
00:12:05,480
Where the fuck is it?
308
00:12:05,480 -->
00:12:06,520
McLovin.
309
00:12:06,520 -->
00:12:08,360
I don't know what that means.
310
00:12:08,360 -->
00:12:10,080
That's his name.
311
00:12:10,080 -->
00:12:11,760
Is he like sponsored by McDonald's?
312
00:12:11,760 -->
00:12:12,760
What is-
313
00:12:12,760 -->
00:12:13,760
No.
314
00:12:13,760 -->
00:12:14,760
What else have you been up to Aiden?
315
00:12:14,760 -->
00:12:15,760
Oh, I've been fantastic.
316
00:12:15,760 -->
00:12:17,800
Well, no, I've been tired actually.
317
00:12:17,800 -->
00:12:19,600
That was a lie.
318
00:12:19,600 -->
00:12:20,600
I stayed up.
319
00:12:20,600 -->
00:12:25,040
You remember, this was a couple months ago, I went through like a couple week period of
320
00:12:25,040 -->
00:12:28,040
being really heavy into Mario Kart.
321
00:12:28,040 -->
00:12:29,040
No.
322
00:12:29,040 -->
00:12:30,400
Okay, cool.
323
00:12:30,400 -->
00:12:32,120
I'm back on it.
324
00:12:32,120 -->
00:12:33,120
I'm back on it.
325
00:12:33,120 -->
00:12:34,120
Right back on it.
326
00:12:34,120 -->
00:12:35,120
Yeah.
327
00:12:35,120 -->
00:12:42,160
This past weekend, I spent so many hours playing Mario Kart.
328
00:12:42,160 -->
00:12:46,360
Of course, I wake up early for my job.
329
00:12:46,360 -->
00:12:48,760
I'm usually up by 5 a.m.
330
00:12:48,760 -->
00:12:52,920
I stayed up way too, probably until like 11 on Sunday.
331
00:12:52,920 -->
00:12:53,920
Whoa.
332
00:12:53,920 -->
00:12:54,920
I know, it's crazy.
333
00:12:54,920 -->
00:12:55,920
Oh, on Sunday.
334
00:12:55,920 -->
00:12:56,920
Okay, man.
335
00:12:56,920 -->
00:12:57,920
On Sunday.
336
00:12:57,920 -->
00:12:58,920
That is kind of way late for you.
337
00:12:58,920 -->
00:13:01,040
Playing Mario Kart.
338
00:13:01,040 -->
00:13:03,440
Not the fun part.
339
00:13:03,440 -->
00:13:06,120
I was time trialing Mario Kart.
340
00:13:06,120 -->
00:13:07,680
Why would you do that to yourself?
341
00:13:07,680 -->
00:13:12,400
Because I just, how often do I like sweaty game anymore?
342
00:13:12,400 -->
00:13:16,440
Ever since people stopped playing Call of Duty Ghosts, what was that, over a decade
343
00:13:16,440 -->
00:13:17,440
ago?
344
00:13:17,440 -->
00:13:18,440
Aiden, everybody.
345
00:13:18,440 -->
00:13:24,120
Ever since Ghosts fell out of favor, I haven't played anything sweaty gaming competitive
346
00:13:24,120 -->
00:13:26,040
related at all recently.
347
00:13:26,040 -->
00:13:27,040
Listen, hold on.
348
00:13:27,040 -->
00:13:30,680
And I decided I want to get good at this little cool racing game.
349
00:13:30,680 -->
00:13:36,200
I understand your frustration with that stuff.
350
00:13:36,200 -->
00:13:43,280
However, I don't think anyone in their right mind would consider Mario Kart to be a sweaty
351
00:13:43,280 -->
00:13:44,640
game.
352
00:13:44,640 -->
00:13:48,120
I think there's an entire Mario Kart community that would disagree with you.
353
00:13:48,120 -->
00:13:49,120
I don't think it is.
354
00:13:49,120 -->
00:13:50,120
Well, they're all stupid.
355
00:13:50,120 -->
00:13:51,120
It's a racing game.
356
00:13:51,120 -->
00:13:52,120
Says you.
357
00:13:52,120 -->
00:13:55,080
How are you going to be sweaty in a racing game?
358
00:13:55,080 -->
00:13:57,880
Sorry, I got the gulag again, Mr. Warzone.
359
00:13:57,880 -->
00:14:00,640
I don't play that shit.
360
00:14:00,640 -->
00:14:01,640
You totally did.
361
00:14:01,640 -->
00:14:02,640
I don't.
362
00:14:02,640 -->
00:14:03,640
No.
363
00:14:03,640 -->
00:14:07,840
I played Warzone when it first came out, when it was good.
364
00:14:07,840 -->
00:14:11,440
And then I grew up and I realized Battle Royales are fucking stupid.
365
00:14:11,440 -->
00:14:18,640
And it's all this goddamn stupid child fucking, god damn it, I can't think of the words.
366
00:14:18,640 -->
00:14:26,280
It's all the big company's target is children with fucking rich moms and credit cards and
367
00:14:26,280 -->
00:14:29,200
just wanting to buy all the goddamn skins and shit.
368
00:14:29,200 -->
00:14:31,320
And it's a kids game.
369
00:14:31,320 -->
00:14:33,960
It's a fucking kids game is what it is.
370
00:14:33,960 -->
00:14:36,400
And I'm out here getting my ass beat by kids in shooters.
371
00:14:36,400 -->
00:14:37,400
I'm like, well, you know what?
372
00:14:37,400 -->
00:14:38,560
I don't need to sweat anymore.
373
00:14:38,560 -->
00:14:41,560
I'm a boomer when it comes to video games.
374
00:14:41,560 -->
00:14:43,080
That's how I feel whenever I play Rocket League.
375
00:14:43,080 -->
00:14:45,360
Like sometimes I impress myself.
376
00:14:45,360 -->
00:14:46,360
I make good plays.
377
00:14:46,360 -->
00:14:48,080
I'm just like, I didn't think I could still do this.
378
00:14:48,080 -->
00:14:50,640
You know, I'm the old dog in here.
379
00:14:50,640 -->
00:14:52,320
Rocket League can get kind of sweaty.
380
00:14:52,320 -->
00:14:53,320
Yeah.
381
00:14:53,320 -->
00:14:55,320
And Mario Kart can get kind of sweaty.
382
00:14:55,320 -->
00:14:58,280
It's a game racing to a ball to get it into a net.
383
00:14:58,280 -->
00:14:59,880
You're not crossing no finish line.
384
00:14:59,880 -->
00:15:01,280
You ain't making laps.
385
00:15:01,280 -->
00:15:03,200
It is not a racing game.
386
00:15:03,200 -->
00:15:04,200
Soccer is sweaty.
387
00:15:04,200 -->
00:15:05,200
Yes, it's a sport.
388
00:15:05,200 -->
00:15:07,280
Kevin's the biggest sweaty guy.
389
00:15:07,280 -->
00:15:08,280
It's a sport.
390
00:15:08,280 -->
00:15:13,080
No, I'm not saying I'm sweaty and racing is not a sport.
391
00:15:13,080 -->
00:15:14,880
Fight me about that NASCAR people.
392
00:15:14,880 -->
00:15:15,880
It's not.
393
00:15:15,880 -->
00:15:18,360
Well, I wasn't about to argue with you that it is a sport.
394
00:15:18,360 -->
00:15:22,120
I was going to draw a comparison that Mario Kart can be a sweaty game.
395
00:15:22,120 -->
00:15:23,400
It is competitive.
396
00:15:23,400 -->
00:15:28,560
It is a competition and any competition has the potential to become sweaty gaming.
397
00:15:28,560 -->
00:15:30,280
Well, you know why I don't think it's sweaty gaming?
398
00:15:30,280 -->
00:15:31,280
Why is that?
399
00:15:31,280 -->
00:15:32,280
Because you're not good at it?
400
00:15:32,280 -->
00:15:33,280
Because I'm so good at it.
401
00:15:33,280 -->
00:15:34,280
No, you're not.
402
00:15:34,280 -->
00:15:35,280
I don't even need to sweat.
403
00:15:35,280 -->
00:15:36,280
I don't even need to try.
404
00:15:36,280 -->
00:15:37,280
Well, Loney, I'd love to see you.
405
00:15:37,280 -->
00:15:38,840
I could beat you on every one of those tracks.
406
00:15:38,840 -->
00:15:39,840
Try me.
407
00:15:39,840 -->
00:15:40,840
Let's do that.
408
00:15:40,840 -->
00:15:41,840
100%.
409
00:15:41,840 -->
00:15:43,080
Let's 100% do that.
410
00:15:43,080 -->
00:15:46,160
Any weekend you're free, I'll come over to your house and I will crush you.
411
00:15:46,160 -->
00:15:47,960
I would love to see you try.
412
00:15:47,960 -->
00:15:49,480
And you'd love me crushing you.
413
00:15:49,480 -->
00:15:51,880
You're going to love my nuts.
414
00:15:51,880 -->
00:15:53,800
On or off the track?
415
00:15:53,800 -->
00:15:54,800
Both.
416
00:15:54,800 -->
00:15:56,160
Now, that's tempting.
417
00:15:56,160 -->
00:16:00,360
Speaking of temptation, I'm going to tempt you lovely listeners.
418
00:16:00,360 -->
00:16:01,360
With a break.
419
00:16:01,360 -->
00:16:02,360
Bye.
420
00:16:02,360 -->
00:16:03,360
Ooh.
421
00:16:03,360 -->
00:16:05,720
And we'll be right back with it.
422
00:16:05,720 -->
00:16:11,120
Fuck it.
423
00:16:11,120 -->
00:16:14,360
Welcome back to WTF.
424
00:16:14,360 -->
00:16:15,360
What the fuck?
425
00:16:15,360 -->
00:16:20,880
We source local and regional news from around the world to bring you some cute little funny
426
00:16:20,880 -->
00:16:27,320
little stories because hey, national and international news is bogus dog shit, upsetting, angering,
427
00:16:27,320 -->
00:16:28,560
saddening.
428
00:16:28,560 -->
00:16:31,240
Most of the negative adjectives, I would say.
429
00:16:31,240 -->
00:16:32,240
All of the above.
430
00:16:32,240 -->
00:16:33,240
All of the above.
431
00:16:33,240 -->
00:16:34,240
You wake up, all the news is on.
432
00:16:34,240 -->
00:16:36,720
Wow, how will this disappoint me for the rest of my day?
433
00:16:36,720 -->
00:16:37,720
Exactly.
434
00:16:37,720 -->
00:16:42,000
When rather there are other news stories that are out there that are interesting, funny.
435
00:16:42,000 -->
00:16:43,160
And you deserve to hear.
436
00:16:43,160 -->
00:16:44,160
Wholesome even.
437
00:16:44,160 -->
00:16:47,080
But here, we like the funny ones.
438
00:16:47,080 -->
00:16:49,320
The ones that make you say, what the fuck?
439
00:16:49,320 -->
00:16:50,320
Exactly.
440
00:16:50,320 -->
00:16:51,320
Certainly even.
441
00:16:51,320 -->
00:16:52,400
And I have one.
442
00:16:52,400 -->
00:16:53,400
You want to go?
443
00:16:53,400 -->
00:16:54,400
I do.
444
00:16:54,400 -->
00:16:55,400
You want to go?
445
00:16:55,400 -->
00:16:56,400
You want to go?
446
00:16:56,400 -->
00:16:57,400
Yeah, I'll beat your ass Mario Kart.
447
00:16:57,400 -->
00:17:00,640
I will not allow that to happen because I'm too good.
448
00:17:00,640 -->
00:17:02,920
I've been sweaty gaming at it.
449
00:17:02,920 -->
00:17:04,400
You don't even know how to race a car.
450
00:17:04,400 -->
00:17:08,200
I will literally pull you out of your car, bend you over the hood of your car, and proceed
451
00:17:08,200 -->
00:17:09,440
to win the race.
452
00:17:09,440 -->
00:17:13,440
A Florida woman glued her eyes shut after mistaking super glue for eyeglasses.
453
00:17:13,440 -->
00:17:14,600
Oh no.
454
00:17:14,600 -->
00:17:16,320
This is from Orlando area news.
455
00:17:16,320 -->
00:17:18,360
I've heard of people doing this.
456
00:17:18,360 -->
00:17:20,120
This is fucked.
457
00:17:20,120 -->
00:17:23,160
Montana resident, Catherine Gaydos.
458
00:17:23,160 -->
00:17:24,160
God bless your soul man.
459
00:17:24,160 -->
00:17:25,160
I don't know how you pronounce her.
460
00:17:25,160 -->
00:17:26,160
Gatos?
461
00:17:26,160 -->
00:17:27,160
Gaydos.
462
00:17:27,160 -->
00:17:28,160
Oh, sure.
463
00:17:28,160 -->
00:17:29,160
If she wants.
464
00:17:29,160 -->
00:17:35,040
Left eye is completely glued shut because of an extremely unfortunate mix up with eyedrops
465
00:17:35,040 -->
00:17:36,040
and super glue.
466
00:17:36,040 -->
00:17:39,000
We should point out that it's been like this for a week.
467
00:17:39,000 -->
00:17:41,360
Dude, go to the ER.
468
00:17:41,360 -->
00:17:43,320
What are you doing?
469
00:17:43,320 -->
00:17:48,200
Gaydos, who's a mother of two, told WPBF a neighbor was using a leaf blower when a piece
470
00:17:48,200 -->
00:17:49,800
of debris flew into her eye.
471
00:17:49,800 -->
00:17:50,800
Something blew into my eye.
472
00:17:50,800 -->
00:17:55,520
I screamed for someone to get eyedrops out of my purse and they brought super glue and
473
00:17:55,520 -->
00:17:57,000
poured it in my eye.
474
00:17:57,000 -->
00:17:59,080
I closed my eye and screamed and called 911.
475
00:17:59,080 -->
00:18:00,320
Oh my God.
476
00:18:00,320 -->
00:18:03,240
Wait a... Who brought the super glue?
477
00:18:03,240 -->
00:18:06,080
Who mistook super glue for eyedrops?
478
00:18:06,080 -->
00:18:10,040
She was scheduled to have a doctor operate on her eye but had the treatment postponed
479
00:18:10,040 -->
00:18:12,240
because she couldn't pay for it.
480
00:18:12,240 -->
00:18:13,240
That's America baby.
481
00:18:13,240 -->
00:18:14,240
Yep.
482
00:18:14,240 -->
00:18:15,240
No free health insurance.
483
00:18:15,240 -->
00:18:16,240
That's American health care.
484
00:18:16,240 -->
00:18:17,240
No.
485
00:18:17,240 -->
00:18:21,360
I'm talking about doing surgery to try to save my eye but I don't know what to do.
486
00:18:21,360 -->
00:18:23,480
I don't have a job, no insurance or any money.
487
00:18:23,480 -->
00:18:25,640
Oh well, that's also your fault too.
488
00:18:25,640 -->
00:18:27,320
Well, in some cases.
489
00:18:27,320 -->
00:18:28,320
In some cases.
490
00:18:28,320 -->
00:18:34,280
But I mean, how are you going to super glue your eye shut and then plead...
491
00:18:34,280 -->
00:18:37,080
Someone else brought the super glue.
492
00:18:37,080 -->
00:18:38,240
Well no, I understand that but...
493
00:18:38,240 -->
00:18:42,640
I guess it's partly her responsibility for not looking at the bottle before putting it
494
00:18:42,640 -->
00:18:43,640
in her eye.
495
00:18:43,640 -->
00:18:47,280
If you're in your neighborhood and someone's blowing their leaves, that means you have
496
00:18:47,280 -->
00:18:48,280
a house.
497
00:18:48,280 -->
00:18:52,240
But you don't have a job or insurance or money.
498
00:18:52,240 -->
00:18:54,360
Florida's a cesspool of shit, man.
499
00:18:54,360 -->
00:18:56,920
Maybe I should have joined my buddy Brian when he went down there.
500
00:18:56,920 -->
00:18:58,280
My God, he says he loves it.
501
00:18:58,280 -->
00:18:59,280
Just kidding, he hates it.
502
00:18:59,280 -->
00:19:04,480
And he hates a certain... I can't call my friend that on air.
503
00:19:04,480 -->
00:19:07,840
I love you too much, Brian, because I stand with your opinions.
504
00:19:07,840 -->
00:19:09,360
That's all for my story.
505
00:19:09,360 -->
00:19:11,040
Is there something we should know about Brian?
506
00:19:11,040 -->
00:19:12,040
No, no.
507
00:19:12,040 -->
00:19:16,920
I mean, honestly, he's a great dude but the people he works with, he cannot stand them.
508
00:19:16,920 -->
00:19:17,920
You know who you are.
509
00:19:17,920 -->
00:19:20,380
I don't have to say it.
510
00:19:20,380 -->
00:19:24,400
I don't know what you're implying and I already don't like it.
511
00:19:24,400 -->
00:19:25,400
I already don't like it.
512
00:19:25,400 -->
00:19:26,400
Should I say it?
513
00:19:26,400 -->
00:19:27,400
Should I say it?
514
00:19:27,400 -->
00:19:30,320
I'm not going to say it because there'd be way too much editing for you to do and you
515
00:19:30,320 -->
00:19:31,320
might smack me.
516
00:19:31,320 -->
00:19:33,800
I might tell you off air though because it's funny.
517
00:19:33,800 -->
00:19:34,800
Because it's true.
518
00:19:34,800 -->
00:19:36,560
You might get smacked off air then.
519
00:19:36,560 -->
00:19:38,920
Because it's true.
520
00:19:38,920 -->
00:19:43,600
A story from AP, better known as the Associated Press.
521
00:19:43,600 -->
00:19:51,000
Florida Man Games returned for round two as teams vied to be the world's worst superhero.
522
00:19:51,000 -->
00:19:52,000
Oh God.
523
00:19:52,000 -->
00:19:55,200
I didn't know there was a Florida Man Games one.
524
00:19:55,200 -->
00:19:56,200
I didn't either.
525
00:19:56,200 -->
00:19:58,440
This is out of Elkton, Florida.
526
00:19:58,440 -->
00:20:01,880
Florida Man Games are back for round two as teams from around the state gather to prove
527
00:20:01,880 -->
00:20:06,360
they have what it takes to join the ranks of world's worst superhero.
528
00:20:06,360 -->
00:20:10,400
Following the success of last year's inaugural Florida Man Games, which I wish I had heard
529
00:20:10,400 -->
00:20:17,680
of, organizers have moved the event to a different town to have more room for spectators and
530
00:20:17,680 -->
00:20:23,480
tailgating because of course the games were hosted by a couple different Florida comedians
531
00:20:23,480 -->
00:20:27,360
poking fun at the state's reputation for bizarre stories.
532
00:20:27,360 -->
00:20:34,000
Last year's teams competed in Florida themed events like the Evading Arrest Obstacle Course
533
00:20:34,000 -->
00:20:36,200
and Beer Belly Sumo Wrestling.
534
00:20:36,200 -->
00:20:38,640
Hell yeah, I can get down with that.
535
00:20:38,640 -->
00:20:47,240
New events this year include Hurricane Party Prep, Grocery Isle Brawl, and Human Beer Pong.
536
00:20:47,240 -->
00:20:51,300
Ten teams from around the state, from Fort Myers to Pensacola, were competing.
537
00:20:51,300 -->
00:20:58,120
Last year's winners, Team Hanky Spanky from St. Augustine, were returning to defend their
538
00:20:58,120 -->
00:21:00,480
Snake Skin Championship belt.
539
00:21:00,480 -->
00:21:02,560
What the fuck?
540
00:21:02,560 -->
00:21:08,160
Only in the United States of America would we make a competition about the dumbest fucking
541
00:21:08,160 -->
00:21:09,160
state.
542
00:21:09,160 -->
00:21:13,240
With the flariest stories.
543
00:21:13,240 -->
00:21:17,600
Also competing this year was an all-female team called the Ball Busters.
544
00:21:17,600 -->
00:21:18,600
That checks out.
545
00:21:18,600 -->
00:21:19,600
Sign me up.
546
00:21:19,600 -->
00:21:24,840
Kroy Bruins, a 29-year-old tech nation for Dave and Busters, participated in the Weaponized
547
00:21:24,840 -->
00:21:27,120
Pool Noodle Competition.
548
00:21:27,120 -->
00:21:30,880
He has lived in Florida's all life with the tattoos to show for it.
549
00:21:30,880 -->
00:21:36,640
He believes that being a true Florida man doesn't mean you have to prepare for the games.
550
00:21:36,640 -->
00:21:39,480
They were just born ready to be great.
551
00:21:39,480 -->
00:21:45,520
Born ready for the trophy, ready for the title, and each year someone new has to be born for
552
00:21:45,520 -->
00:21:46,520
it.
553
00:21:46,520 -->
00:21:47,520
Oh my god.
554
00:21:47,520 -->
00:21:50,160
Florida main games are something you won't find anywhere else, he said.
555
00:21:50,160 -->
00:21:51,160
Well no shit.
556
00:21:51,160 -->
00:21:52,160
When does it take place?
557
00:21:52,160 -->
00:21:53,480
The Florida's in the title.
558
00:21:53,480 -->
00:22:00,040
This story was from March 1st of this year.
559
00:22:00,040 -->
00:22:02,160
So this is really recent.
560
00:22:02,160 -->
00:22:04,880
So these games take place in the month of March?
561
00:22:04,880 -->
00:22:05,880
I believe so.
562
00:22:05,880 -->
00:22:10,000
Well they were reported in March, so they maybe took place in February.
563
00:22:10,000 -->
00:22:14,600
But yeah, he said, we've got the Olympics and they've been going around forever, but
564
00:22:14,600 -->
00:22:17,800
they don't have gator tossing, do they?
565
00:22:17,800 -->
00:22:21,000
They don't have a contest where you've got to hold your beer and fight someone else at
566
00:22:21,000 -->
00:22:22,140
the same time.
567
00:22:22,140 -->
00:22:25,080
And that is true, the Olympics don't have those things.
568
00:22:25,080 -->
00:22:29,240
Besides watching the events, guests have a chance to get up to Florida man shenanigans
569
00:22:29,240 -->
00:22:35,080
themselves, interacting with the alligators from quote gator land, and ride a mechanical
570
00:22:35,080 -->
00:22:36,320
alligator.
571
00:22:36,320 -->
00:22:41,360
The games also feature a show by quote midget wrestling warriors.
572
00:22:41,360 -->
00:22:42,360
Fuck.
573
00:22:42,360 -->
00:22:47,560
And lawnmower racing hosted by NASCAR driver Jeffrey Earnhardt.
574
00:22:47,560 -->
00:22:52,960
Which, of course, of course, why not?
575
00:22:52,960 -->
00:22:56,680
To raise hell, praise Dale.
576
00:22:56,680 -->
00:23:01,320
To one of the announcers, quote, it's exactly on brand the way I thought it would be.
577
00:23:01,320 -->
00:23:05,200
It's the right level of grimy and extravagant and debaucherous.
578
00:23:05,200 -->
00:23:06,200
It's exactly what I want.
579
00:23:06,200 -->
00:23:09,720
A lot of people day drinking, a lot of people getting sunburnt, a lot of people partying
580
00:23:09,720 -->
00:23:12,360
and acting foolish in the best way.
581
00:23:12,360 -->
00:23:17,820
The Florida man phenomenon, of course, seeping into the nation's consciousness thanks in
582
00:23:17,820 -->
00:23:24,480
part to a Twitter account that started in 2013 with the handle quote at Florida man.
583
00:23:24,480 -->
00:23:33,200
The some of Florida man, this original Florida man account sharing headlines such as Florida
584
00:23:33,200 -->
00:23:40,520
man bites dog to establish dominance and Florida man tried to pay for McDonald's with weed.
585
00:23:40,520 -->
00:23:44,920
Which are stories we have not yet covered on this show, but maybe we'll have to.
586
00:23:44,920 -->
00:23:45,920
That's great.
587
00:23:45,920 -->
00:23:48,400
Why would you give away weed for food?
588
00:23:48,400 -->
00:23:49,400
I know.
589
00:23:49,400 -->
00:23:53,440
Like that's either got to be really shitty weed or it's not a lot of it.
590
00:23:53,440 -->
00:23:57,440
Because McDonald's is not, it's expensive, but it's not that expensive.
591
00:23:57,440 -->
00:24:01,480
No, but honestly, like just everything is just ridiculous.
592
00:24:01,480 -->
00:24:04,800
Like you want a triple cheeseburger that's like five and a half dollars.
593
00:24:04,800 -->
00:24:06,000
That's so stupid.
594
00:24:06,000 -->
00:24:08,600
You want a Big Mac just a sandwich like it's like 525.
595
00:24:08,600 -->
00:24:09,600
Right.
596
00:24:09,600 -->
00:24:10,600
Almost six bones.
597
00:24:10,600 -->
00:24:11,600
Yeah.
598
00:24:11,600 -->
00:24:13,760
Florida woman from CBS 42.
599
00:24:13,760 -->
00:24:20,840
Florida woman charged with poisoning boyfriend's drink because he quote wouldn't shut up.
600
00:24:20,840 -->
00:24:21,840
That's reasonable.
601
00:24:21,840 -->
00:24:26,280
In Jacksonville, Florida, a woman has been charged after reportedly poisoning her boyfriend's
602
00:24:26,280 -->
00:24:28,320
drink because he would not stop talking.
603
00:24:28,320 -->
00:24:33,040
According to an arrest report from the Jacksonville Sheriff's Office reports deputies were dispatched
604
00:24:33,040 -->
00:24:38,900
to 54 year old Alvis Parish's home in reference to a poisoning call.
605
00:24:38,900 -->
00:24:41,960
When they arrived, deputies say that Parish was sitting on her front porch yelling at
606
00:24:41,960 -->
00:24:43,200
them.
607
00:24:43,200 -->
00:24:45,900
Deputies say when they got closer, Parish said, yeah, I did it because he wouldn't
608
00:24:45,900 -->
00:24:47,560
shut the fuck up.
609
00:24:47,560 -->
00:24:51,620
She later told deputies that she gave him just enough to shut him up and called y'all.
610
00:24:51,620 -->
00:24:52,740
So he wouldn't die.
611
00:24:52,740 -->
00:24:53,920
Do whatever you want.
612
00:24:53,920 -->
00:24:56,480
But if you don't take me, I will kill him.
613
00:24:56,480 -->
00:24:57,480
Wow.
614
00:24:57,480 -->
00:25:01,520
The Sheriff's officer says Parish spiked her boyfriend's drink with Seroquel, which is a
615
00:25:01,520 -->
00:25:04,240
drug that can reportedly make people feel sleepy.
616
00:25:04,240 -->
00:25:07,680
It can also be used to treat schizophrenia and bipolar disorder.
617
00:25:07,680 -->
00:25:08,680
Wow.
618
00:25:08,680 -->
00:25:10,560
And she just had that laying around.
619
00:25:10,560 -->
00:25:15,960
Well, WLTV reports the man felt sluggish but was okay according to deputies.
620
00:25:15,960 -->
00:25:20,400
Parish was charged with poisoning food or water with the intent to kill or injure.
621
00:25:20,400 -->
00:25:22,120
Wow.
622
00:25:22,120 -->
00:25:23,280
Let's just hope, you know.
623
00:25:23,280 -->
00:25:24,280
So noted.
624
00:25:24,280 -->
00:25:26,840
Sometimes you just gotta shut the fuck up.
625
00:25:26,840 -->
00:25:30,160
When interacting with Florida women, don't run your mouth.
626
00:25:30,160 -->
00:25:31,160
Agreed.
627
00:25:31,160 -->
00:25:32,160
You can get poisoned.
628
00:25:32,160 -->
00:25:36,600
Or in the AC dude's case from the other week, you could have your pulse shot off.
629
00:25:36,600 -->
00:25:39,320
Or attempted to be shot off.
630
00:25:39,320 -->
00:25:40,820
Oh yeah, yeah.
631
00:25:40,820 -->
00:25:45,280
Final story of the day comes from Associated Press as well.
632
00:25:45,280 -->
00:25:46,280
Florida man accused of.
633
00:25:46,280 -->
00:25:47,880
Oh god, sorry.
634
00:25:47,880 -->
00:25:49,180
You're fine.
635
00:25:49,180 -->
00:25:51,680
Accused of forcing small alligator to drink beer.
636
00:25:51,680 -->
00:25:53,680
This is out of Palm City, Florida.
637
00:25:53,680 -->
00:25:55,360
Hey, just wanna have a little taste.
638
00:25:55,360 -->
00:25:57,280
Just trying to share, honestly.
639
00:25:57,280 -->
00:26:01,320
Palm City, Florida authorities say they've arrested a Florida man who provoked a small
640
00:26:01,320 -->
00:26:06,720
alligator into biting his arm and poured beer into the animal's mouth.
641
00:26:06,720 -->
00:26:07,720
Now what?
642
00:26:07,720 -->
00:26:08,920
Wow.
643
00:26:08,920 -->
00:26:10,200
My first thought is wow.
644
00:26:10,200 -->
00:26:13,720
Good on ya for having the stones to try something like that, honestly.
645
00:26:13,720 -->
00:26:20,720
So your arm is being bit actively and you're just like okay, well have some brew I guess.
646
00:26:20,720 -->
00:26:21,720
Here's one on the house.
647
00:26:21,720 -->
00:26:23,000
Now let go of my arm.
648
00:26:23,000 -->
00:26:24,000
Right.
649
00:26:24,000 -->
00:26:27,440
Well I guess if he gets a good taste, it may as well.
650
00:26:27,440 -->
00:26:32,440
Otherwise you're Pavlovian, you're bringing a Pavlovian response to the alligator that
651
00:26:32,440 -->
00:26:34,840
if he bites an arm he gets beer.
652
00:26:34,840 -->
00:26:35,920
Which would be bad.
653
00:26:35,920 -->
00:26:38,360
You don't wanna teach alligators that.
654
00:26:38,360 -->
00:26:40,920
Teach them, pretend they're dogs right?
655
00:26:40,920 -->
00:26:43,640
No bite, then you get the treat.
656
00:26:43,640 -->
00:26:46,080
No bite, you're gonna bite your goddamn head off.
657
00:26:46,080 -->
00:26:47,080
They don't care.
658
00:26:47,080 -->
00:26:48,360
That's true.
659
00:26:48,360 -->
00:26:52,840
News outlets report 27 year old Timothy Kepke and 22 year old Noel Osborne were charged
660
00:26:52,840 -->
00:26:56,880
last week with unlawfully taking an alligator.
661
00:26:56,880 -->
00:27:03,240
So I guess they removed the alligator from somewhere to give it its brew.
662
00:27:03,240 -->
00:27:08,000
Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission officers began investigating in August following
663
00:27:08,000 -->
00:27:13,900
a complaint of Osborne catching the alligator in Palm City and handing to Kepke.
664
00:27:13,900 -->
00:27:17,440
He appears in a video to let the reptile bite his forearm.
665
00:27:17,440 -->
00:27:24,680
The video shows Kepke feeding the alligator beer as it struggles to bite his forearm.
666
00:27:24,680 -->
00:27:28,800
When officers interviewed him last month he reportedly acknowledged he was in the video
667
00:27:28,800 -->
00:27:31,800
and said the gator was alive when they released it.
668
00:27:31,800 -->
00:27:36,160
They were both released on bond and the jury records did not show them having attorneys.
669
00:27:36,160 -->
00:27:37,160
Jesus.
670
00:27:37,160 -->
00:27:42,120
If you're an attorney, why the hell would you take that case?
671
00:27:42,120 -->
00:27:46,000
In every case there's always a slim chance to win.
672
00:27:46,000 -->
00:27:47,000
That's why they take it.
673
00:27:47,000 -->
00:27:49,440
I guess man.
674
00:27:49,440 -->
00:27:56,400
I guess but I guess we will never know due to the fact that alligators don't speak English.
675
00:27:56,400 -->
00:28:01,400
And they're not around these parts of the states.
676
00:28:01,400 -->
00:28:05,280
Where we reside, which is the great state of Indiana.
677
00:28:05,280 -->
00:28:06,280
Very true.
678
00:28:06,280 -->
00:28:07,280
Things like corn.
679
00:28:07,280 -->
00:28:15,280
In one of the greatest towns in Valparaiso, which totally isn't rich, uptight, yuppie.
680
00:28:15,280 -->
00:28:19,240
Let's put a big ass parking garage in the center of downtown and add all these stupid
681
00:28:19,240 -->
00:28:21,400
god damn condos right next to it.
682
00:28:21,400 -->
00:28:24,960
Where no one that works a normal job can afford to fucking live at.
683
00:28:24,960 -->
00:28:28,280
And let's get rid of one of the oldest PC joints in the town that's been here since
684
00:28:28,280 -->
00:28:31,680
my great grandparents were here and they always ate there as a family on Christmas.
685
00:28:31,680 -->
00:28:33,760
I'm sorry Christmas Eve.
686
00:28:33,760 -->
00:28:37,200
And let's replace it with some yuppie stupid ass restaurant where oh you want eggs and
687
00:28:37,200 -->
00:28:43,440
bacon with their fancy prices of $17.95.
688
00:28:43,440 -->
00:28:44,440
It's not actual price.
689
00:28:44,440 -->
00:28:47,200
I just hate how yuppie places like that like $17.95.
690
00:28:47,200 -->
00:28:48,200
Like why?
691
00:28:48,200 -->
00:28:52,200
If you get yuppie enough they don't even they don't put a dollar sign and they don't put
692
00:28:52,200 -->
00:28:53,200
change.
693
00:28:53,200 -->
00:28:54,200
It's just a number.
694
00:28:54,200 -->
00:28:55,200
Yeah it's just a number.
695
00:28:55,200 -->
00:28:56,200
It'll just say waffles 22.
696
00:28:56,200 -->
00:28:57,780
It's like oh okay.
697
00:28:57,780 -->
00:29:02,080
And your cook has like one of the best beards I've ever seen and like all the second best
698
00:29:02,080 -->
00:29:04,320
beard you've ever seen.
699
00:29:04,320 -->
00:29:05,320
I've seen better.
700
00:29:05,320 -->
00:29:07,280
Don't say that to my face.
701
00:29:07,280 -->
00:29:08,280
It's bullying.
702
00:29:08,280 -->
00:29:13,160
They have these okay and they have these horrible fucking stools that you sit on that aren't
703
00:29:13,160 -->
00:29:18,440
comfortable and the stupidest goddamn decor in there thinking they're this and that.
704
00:29:18,440 -->
00:29:24,720
And all that considering that every other restaurant downtown is also uppity.
705
00:29:24,720 -->
00:29:29,640
So they just joined the ranks of being the same fucking flavor of everything else.
706
00:29:29,640 -->
00:29:32,040
And don't even think about going to Maine and Lincoln bro.
707
00:29:32,040 -->
00:29:33,040
I wouldn't.
708
00:29:33,040 -->
00:29:34,040
Never go there.
709
00:29:34,040 -->
00:29:35,040
You don't have to tell me.
710
00:29:35,040 -->
00:29:36,040
The food is way too expensive.
711
00:29:36,040 -->
00:29:37,480
Already don't go.
712
00:29:37,480 -->
00:29:38,480
I've delivered there before.
713
00:29:38,480 -->
00:29:39,880
That's my job.
714
00:29:39,880 -->
00:29:44,360
Before I get off on a huge rant let's just take a break and we'll be right back with
715
00:29:44,360 -->
00:29:45,920
some questions for you guys alright.
716
00:29:45,920 -->
00:29:46,920
How's that sound?
717
00:29:46,920 -->
00:29:51,800
Because I'm sure you don't want to hear me fucking speak about how great this town is.
718
00:29:51,800 -->
00:29:53,640
Hey welcome back didn't see you there.
719
00:29:53,640 -->
00:29:56,360
It's time for the last segment of the show Aidan.
720
00:29:56,360 -->
00:29:58,840
Yes I'm not the last segment.
721
00:29:58,840 -->
00:30:01,000
No I was saying your name so you could say what the segment is.
722
00:30:01,000 -->
00:30:06,280
Because if I'm the segment you'll have to do me right now on the show.
723
00:30:06,280 -->
00:30:07,280
God bless your soul.
724
00:30:07,280 -->
00:30:14,080
Which I'm totally fine with doing but let's not steer off the normal schedule that we
725
00:30:14,080 -->
00:30:15,080
do.
726
00:30:15,080 -->
00:30:18,160
The beating of my path.
727
00:30:18,160 -->
00:30:21,640
I want to go down that path.
728
00:30:21,640 -->
00:30:22,640
Burning questions.
729
00:30:22,640 -->
00:30:23,640
Yes thanks.
730
00:30:23,640 -->
00:30:26,640
Everyone's second least favorite website Reddit.
731
00:30:26,640 -->
00:30:27,640
Source questions.
732
00:30:27,640 -->
00:30:28,760
Question of the ether.
733
00:30:28,760 -->
00:30:33,440
Two omnipotent one impotent being sat in front of you to answer them.
734
00:30:33,440 -->
00:30:34,440
Okay.
735
00:30:34,440 -->
00:30:36,160
You alright with that?
736
00:30:36,160 -->
00:30:37,160
That no?
737
00:30:37,160 -->
00:30:38,160
Yeah it's fine.
738
00:30:38,160 -->
00:30:39,160
It's fine?
739
00:30:39,160 -->
00:30:40,160
Yeah.
740
00:30:40,160 -->
00:30:41,160
You're okay with those titles?
741
00:30:41,160 -->
00:30:42,160
Yeah.
742
00:30:42,160 -->
00:30:45,320
Considering I'm doing the editing I think that clip stays.
743
00:30:45,320 -->
00:30:48,920
I think the fact that clipped has stayed and we're talking about the clip that already
744
00:30:48,920 -->
00:30:49,920
stayed.
745
00:30:49,920 -->
00:30:54,560
Are you saying right now to our listeners and viewers that you clipped me?
746
00:30:54,560 -->
00:30:56,800
No I went down your path.
747
00:30:56,800 -->
00:30:57,800
Or?
748
00:30:57,800 -->
00:31:00,480
No but like you know the saying like when you're playing games like oh my god I just
749
00:31:00,480 -->
00:31:01,480
hit a clip.
750
00:31:01,480 -->
00:31:02,480
Oh you hit a clip?
751
00:31:02,480 -->
00:31:03,480
Yes.
752
00:31:03,480 -->
00:31:04,480
Oh.
753
00:31:04,480 -->
00:31:06,800
So did you just clip me?
754
00:31:06,800 -->
00:31:07,800
Clip that.
755
00:31:07,800 -->
00:31:08,800
Hey chat clip that.
756
00:31:08,800 -->
00:31:09,800
There you go.
757
00:31:09,800 -->
00:31:10,800
Yeah.
758
00:31:10,800 -->
00:31:14,400
Question from user Busy Ground 4221.
759
00:31:14,400 -->
00:31:20,960
Would you rather be the best playing on the worst team or the worst player playing on
760
00:31:20,960 -->
00:31:22,640
the best team?
761
00:31:22,640 -->
00:31:27,840
Now considering I've played hockey for a while now and I'm typically always on the bad team
762
00:31:27,840 -->
00:31:30,280
but I'm not the best player on the team.
763
00:31:30,280 -->
00:31:31,280
That's the thing.
764
00:31:31,280 -->
00:31:32,280
Right.
765
00:31:32,280 -->
00:31:36,320
But I'm also not a terrible player by any means.
766
00:31:36,320 -->
00:31:38,400
I'm just kind of average.
767
00:31:38,400 -->
00:31:39,980
I'm mediocre.
768
00:31:39,980 -->
00:31:45,920
But I would rather honestly if it means the team is getting wins and titles and championships
769
00:31:45,920 -->
00:31:49,240
and shit like that make me the worst fucking player out there.
770
00:31:49,240 -->
00:31:51,200
I want a little bit of the taste of the glory.
771
00:31:51,200 -->
00:31:53,080
I want to know what it tastes like.
772
00:31:53,080 -->
00:31:54,080
True.
773
00:31:54,080 -->
00:31:55,080
That's what I want.
774
00:31:55,080 -->
00:31:58,360
I suppose if you surround yourself with players better than you though it would eventually
775
00:31:58,360 -->
00:31:59,360
rub off on you.
776
00:31:59,360 -->
00:32:00,360
They could teach you things.
777
00:32:00,360 -->
00:32:03,280
You know get you up in winning spirit.
778
00:32:03,280 -->
00:32:04,280
Go down your path.
779
00:32:04,280 -->
00:32:05,360
Yeah.
780
00:32:05,360 -->
00:32:14,640
I would say because I too have kind of been on both sides of that where in my youth I
781
00:32:14,640 -->
00:32:17,880
would say I was good in baseball.
782
00:32:17,880 -->
00:32:21,320
And a couple years I played football I was never really good and my team also wasn't
783
00:32:21,320 -->
00:32:23,600
so that's kind of in line with what you're saying.
784
00:32:23,600 -->
00:32:27,720
But I was always pretty good at baseball and growing up the teams I played on were always
785
00:32:27,720 -->
00:32:35,800
dog shit and I didn't have the social know how to like bring people to my level or encourage
786
00:32:35,800 -->
00:32:36,920
them.
787
00:32:36,920 -->
00:32:40,320
So the team never did well because you can't carry a team on your own.
788
00:32:40,320 -->
00:32:41,600
You're just hoarding all the power.
789
00:32:41,600 -->
00:32:42,960
I'm holding all the good.
790
00:32:42,960 -->
00:32:44,400
All the good to yourself.
791
00:32:44,400 -->
00:32:47,760
And then when I hit high school.
792
00:32:47,760 -->
00:32:51,080
I got out of shape.
793
00:32:51,080 -->
00:32:55,800
As Kevin remembers I was at one point a very chubby man.
794
00:32:55,800 -->
00:32:58,400
No honestly you know when I met you at Town and Country you weren't chubby.
795
00:32:58,400 -->
00:33:00,000
I was skinny then.
796
00:33:00,000 -->
00:33:02,400
I never met you when you were working at Risenerol.
797
00:33:02,400 -->
00:33:03,400
It's fluctuate.
798
00:33:03,400 -->
00:33:08,660
When I was in high school I was underweight and then overweight.
799
00:33:08,660 -->
00:33:11,720
And then I got back to underweight when I got out of high school.
800
00:33:11,720 -->
00:33:15,880
Then I got back overweight and now I'm kind of in this healthy middle.
801
00:33:15,880 -->
00:33:20,960
But I was fairly out of shape in high school which means I was not very good at baseball
802
00:33:20,960 -->
00:33:24,560
anymore because I did not take my own health very seriously.
803
00:33:24,560 -->
00:33:28,760
I didn't really commit myself too much which is kind of a shame honestly looking back at
804
00:33:28,760 -->
00:33:29,760
it.
805
00:33:29,760 -->
00:33:32,560
But the team I played on was good.
806
00:33:32,560 -->
00:33:39,520
Being one of the bench players on a good team is a fucking horrible feeling.
807
00:33:39,520 -->
00:33:46,820
Because every win we got where I only played two or three of the seven innings I never
808
00:33:46,820 -->
00:33:48,960
felt like I was one of the guys that made it happen.
809
00:33:48,960 -->
00:33:52,040
Well you know Aiden I know but they're a team.
810
00:33:52,040 -->
00:33:53,040
You guys are a team.
811
00:33:53,040 -->
00:33:54,520
You win as a team.
812
00:33:54,520 -->
00:33:57,920
Everyone needs a bench boy and everyone needs a water boy.
813
00:33:57,920 -->
00:34:00,240
So you were vital to the teams win.
814
00:34:00,240 -->
00:34:05,280
If you're the bench boy meaning the hockey team you play for does not start you.
815
00:34:05,280 -->
00:34:08,640
You maybe, maybe see a period of action.
816
00:34:08,640 -->
00:34:09,640
Maybe half.
817
00:34:09,640 -->
00:34:11,360
You're going to be happy with those wins?
818
00:34:11,360 -->
00:34:12,360
I'm fine with that.
819
00:34:12,360 -->
00:34:13,360
I'm checking their equipment when they come back.
820
00:34:13,360 -->
00:34:14,800
I'm like the equipment manager too.
821
00:34:14,800 -->
00:34:16,240
I don't.
822
00:34:16,240 -->
00:34:17,800
If they break a stick I'll give them a stick.
823
00:34:17,800 -->
00:34:19,560
They're out of water I'll give them water.
824
00:34:19,560 -->
00:34:21,220
You know I'll hype them up.
825
00:34:21,220 -->
00:34:25,320
This is why you don't understand sweaty gaming like Mario Kart.
826
00:34:25,320 -->
00:34:33,760
Because you'd rather be the bench boy, the equipment manager on a winning team than be
827
00:34:33,760 -->
00:34:36,360
yoked on a team that struggles.
828
00:34:36,360 -->
00:34:43,280
Aiden I don't think you understand how pivotal, how vital, how crucial it is to have the locker
829
00:34:43,280 -->
00:34:46,760
room guy, the bench guy on your team.
830
00:34:46,760 -->
00:34:52,480
The guy that is always making team and player morale fucking sky high.
831
00:34:52,480 -->
00:34:55,520
Making your teammates feel good about themselves giving them the old rub and tug on the bench.
832
00:34:55,520 -->
00:34:57,800
Just making them feel great.
833
00:34:57,800 -->
00:34:58,920
Going down that path.
834
00:34:58,920 -->
00:35:01,480
Going down that path with your teammates on the bench.
835
00:35:01,480 -->
00:35:03,140
Every team needs that guy.
836
00:35:03,140 -->
00:35:05,960
You know I guess you're right.
837
00:35:05,960 -->
00:35:07,160
I'm taking one for the team.
838
00:35:07,160 -->
00:35:10,120
I'm literally taking it all for the team down my path.
839
00:35:10,120 -->
00:35:12,120
That's true.
840
00:35:12,120 -->
00:35:13,520
Going down the path with them.
841
00:35:13,520 -->
00:35:14,520
Going down the path.
842
00:35:14,520 -->
00:35:15,520
You know what?
843
00:35:15,520 -->
00:35:17,000
I went down the path and we won the cup.
844
00:35:17,000 -->
00:35:18,000
That's true.
845
00:35:18,000 -->
00:35:19,000
That's true.
846
00:35:19,000 -->
00:35:24,120
I'd definitely rather be the best player on a bad team because I cannot stand not being
847
00:35:24,120 -->
00:35:25,760
in my best form.
848
00:35:25,760 -->
00:35:26,760
I can't do it.
849
00:35:26,760 -->
00:35:31,640
I can't either but if it's for the team I think that's what I'm going to go with.
850
00:35:31,640 -->
00:35:32,640
Down that path.
851
00:35:32,640 -->
00:35:33,960
You're going down that path.
852
00:35:33,960 -->
00:35:35,400
I am going down that path.
853
00:35:35,400 -->
00:35:36,400
That's very good.
854
00:35:36,400 -->
00:35:40,480
Question from user Justin Godfrey.
855
00:35:40,480 -->
00:35:47,840
Five billion dollars you get but for the rest of your life a film crew will come in on a
856
00:35:47,840 -->
00:35:53,360
random day of the week and record you and your family for an hour straight in stunning
857
00:35:53,360 -->
00:35:54,360
8K.
858
00:35:54,360 -->
00:35:58,480
They're going to fucking love what they film.
859
00:35:58,480 -->
00:35:59,480
I'm doing it.
860
00:35:59,480 -->
00:36:01,440
They're going to love the shit show that is My House.
861
00:36:01,440 -->
00:36:02,840
I mean it's what is it?
862
00:36:02,840 -->
00:36:04,920
An hour a week.
863
00:36:04,920 -->
00:36:09,880
An hour a week you're interrupted by these film people and you get.
864
00:36:09,880 -->
00:36:11,160
I mean it's one hour a week.
865
00:36:11,160 -->
00:36:12,680
How many hours in a week?
866
00:36:12,680 -->
00:36:15,760
24 times 7 that's a number.
867
00:36:15,760 -->
00:36:16,760
Yeah that it is.
868
00:36:16,760 -->
00:36:18,240
I can't do math.
869
00:36:18,240 -->
00:36:23,120
And then one hour of that grand total of hours is just some weird fuckers coming into your
870
00:36:23,120 -->
00:36:25,280
house with fucking camera equipment and shit.
871
00:36:25,280 -->
00:36:26,280
I don't care.
872
00:36:26,280 -->
00:36:27,280
That's fine.
873
00:36:27,280 -->
00:36:33,120
Especially for an amount of money that you and your entire lineage for dozens of generations
874
00:36:33,120 -->
00:36:34,120
will be able to.
875
00:36:34,120 -->
00:36:35,120
I'm going to stress you.
876
00:36:35,120 -->
00:36:36,120
Just for me.
877
00:36:36,120 -->
00:36:37,120
You're going to blow it all?
878
00:36:37,120 -->
00:36:38,120
I'm going down that path.
879
00:36:38,120 -->
00:36:39,120
You're going down that path.
880
00:36:39,120 -->
00:36:40,120
And I'm blowing it.
881
00:36:40,120 -->
00:36:44,360
I too will take it Kev because that's just an absurd amount of money for just an hour
882
00:36:44,360 -->
00:36:47,440
a week of being uncomfortable in front of cameras.
883
00:36:47,440 -->
00:36:48,920
And even that clearly.
884
00:36:48,920 -->
00:36:51,880
Honestly no I'm pretty comfortable in front of a camera.
885
00:36:51,880 -->
00:36:54,220
Unless I'm naked.
886
00:36:54,220 -->
00:36:55,220
That is true.
887
00:36:55,220 -->
00:36:58,060
It didn't say anything that they wouldn't film you while you're naked.
888
00:36:58,060 -->
00:37:03,400
They could come into your house like while you're mid White Castle shit and get you
889
00:37:03,400 -->
00:37:06,700
in 8K while you're wiping your ass.
890
00:37:06,700 -->
00:37:12,600
That would be a shot of shots if they were to snag a picture like that.
891
00:37:12,600 -->
00:37:14,560
Yeah absolute cinema.
892
00:37:14,560 -->
00:37:19,960
Well you know however I can't totally say that I'm camera shy if I'm naked because
893
00:37:19,960 -->
00:37:20,960
I have had.
894
00:37:20,960 -->
00:37:25,160
What if they start filming once you're beating your hog?
895
00:37:25,160 -->
00:37:28,480
What if they catch you mid cock swing?
896
00:37:28,480 -->
00:37:34,800
I'm not saying I've been caught doing that before but those I'm not saying that these
897
00:37:34,800 -->
00:37:38,520
videos have surfaced on the interwebs but what I'm saying is.
898
00:37:38,520 -->
00:37:39,520
You have to search for them.
899
00:37:39,520 -->
00:37:45,920
I'm not as camera shy as I thought I was because there were a lot of things made with my ex.
900
00:37:45,920 -->
00:37:47,000
I'm just going to say that.
901
00:37:47,000 -->
00:37:51,880
I'm just going to say that and hopefully you can use your smart brain.
902
00:37:51,880 -->
00:37:52,880
Maybe not you.
903
00:37:52,880 -->
00:37:53,880
Maybe I have to tell you what I actually did.
904
00:37:53,880 -->
00:37:54,880
But the listeners and viewers.
905
00:37:54,880 -->
00:37:55,880
I don't know what you're talking about.
906
00:37:55,880 -->
00:37:56,880
See I'm going to have to tell you.
907
00:37:56,880 -->
00:37:57,880
I'll show you.
908
00:37:57,880 -->
00:37:58,880
Okay.
909
00:37:58,880 -->
00:37:59,880
When we go down that path.
910
00:37:59,880 -->
00:38:00,880
Together.
911
00:38:00,880 -->
00:38:01,880
Yeah.
912
00:38:01,880 -->
00:38:02,880
Go down that path.
913
00:38:02,880 -->
00:38:09,840
Yeah since we've been doing this for so long and like hours and hours a week I and we spend
914
00:38:09,840 -->
00:38:11,280
in front of a camera.
915
00:38:11,280 -->
00:38:15,560
It's not a huge deal and it's not like you have to perform.
916
00:38:15,560 -->
00:38:17,720
They're just coming in to film you.
917
00:38:17,720 -->
00:38:20,720
So if you're not in the mood you can just let them fucking do their thing.
918
00:38:20,720 -->
00:38:23,680
They can literally sit in my room while I'm sitting there playing games for an hour and
919
00:38:23,680 -->
00:38:25,360
I'm not even paying attention to them.
920
00:38:25,360 -->
00:38:26,360
Right.
921
00:38:26,360 -->
00:38:31,160
So they catch me playing a game that makes me a little edgy.
922
00:38:31,160 -->
00:38:34,040
A little fired up.
923
00:38:34,040 -->
00:38:38,940
A little like I'm going to say something that probably shouldn't be on a camera.
924
00:38:38,940 -->
00:38:40,200
Maybe you should just not say things like that.
925
00:38:40,200 -->
00:38:41,640
They're going to have to deal with that.
926
00:38:41,640 -->
00:38:42,640
Listen man.
927
00:38:42,640 -->
00:38:43,640
Don't listen to me.
928
00:38:43,640 -->
00:38:45,240
My rage knows no bounds.
929
00:38:45,240 -->
00:38:46,600
I will say whatever I want.
930
00:38:46,600 -->
00:38:48,320
You know why?
931
00:38:48,320 -->
00:38:49,320
Do tell.
932
00:38:49,320 -->
00:38:50,320
Why not?
933
00:38:50,320 -->
00:38:51,320
Free speech Aidan.
934
00:38:51,320 -->
00:38:52,320
Not freedom from.
935
00:38:52,320 -->
00:38:54,600
It doesn't mean there's not.
936
00:38:54,600 -->
00:38:58,400
You're right that there's no freedom from consequences of whatever I say and I'm fully
937
00:38:58,400 -->
00:38:59,400
aware of that.
938
00:38:59,400 -->
00:39:00,400
I just don't care.
939
00:39:00,400 -->
00:39:01,400
Grand.
940
00:39:01,400 -->
00:39:02,880
Well great to have you as my partner.
941
00:39:02,880 -->
00:39:07,960
And it takes balls to not care what you say.
942
00:39:07,960 -->
00:39:11,880
It takes smarts to not say things you shouldn't.
943
00:39:11,880 -->
00:39:13,520
But I got balls.
944
00:39:13,520 -->
00:39:15,680
I'm not smart but I got balls.
945
00:39:15,680 -->
00:39:16,680
I've seen them.
946
00:39:16,680 -->
00:39:17,680
We've gone down that path.
947
00:39:17,680 -->
00:39:20,080
How crazy are we getting with these balls?
948
00:39:20,080 -->
00:39:22,960
Which is something I said at work the other day.
949
00:39:22,960 -->
00:39:23,960
Completely out of context.
950
00:39:23,960 -->
00:39:25,560
How crazy did you get with the balls?
951
00:39:25,560 -->
00:39:29,280
Well we were organizing the back stock and there was a shitload of basketball and soccer
952
00:39:29,280 -->
00:39:31,840
balls and I look at Rich dead.
953
00:39:31,840 -->
00:39:32,840
Dead pan.
954
00:39:32,840 -->
00:39:33,840
Dead.
955
00:39:33,840 -->
00:39:34,840
No expression on my face.
956
00:39:34,840 -->
00:39:37,240
I'm just like so how crazy are we getting with these balls?
957
00:39:37,240 -->
00:39:39,960
And he looks at me and he's like the fuck are you saying?
958
00:39:39,960 -->
00:39:42,560
Like I said how crazy are we getting with these balls?
959
00:39:42,560 -->
00:39:43,880
He's like fuck you.
960
00:39:43,880 -->
00:39:44,880
You do them.
961
00:39:44,880 -->
00:39:45,880
You do them.
962
00:39:45,880 -->
00:39:48,560
I'll take the five billion.
963
00:39:48,560 -->
00:39:49,960
You can have an hour of my week.
964
00:39:49,960 -->
00:39:51,800
That's fine.
965
00:39:51,800 -->
00:39:52,800
Question from user.
966
00:39:52,800 -->
00:39:55,240
Question problem 5224.
967
00:39:55,240 -->
00:40:03,640
You get $20,000 right now or anything you order at your local McDonald's is free forever.
968
00:40:03,640 -->
00:40:04,640
Nah.
969
00:40:04,640 -->
00:40:05,640
$20k.
970
00:40:05,640 -->
00:40:06,640
$20k.
971
00:40:06,640 -->
00:40:07,640
Yeah.
972
00:40:07,640 -->
00:40:08,640
I like the idea.
973
00:40:08,640 -->
00:40:09,640
I like McDonald's.
974
00:40:09,640 -->
00:40:10,640
I like free food.
975
00:40:10,640 -->
00:40:11,640
Yeah.
976
00:40:11,640 -->
00:40:12,640
But.
977
00:40:12,640 -->
00:40:18,720
And of course with inflation eventually a McDonald's hamburger could be $10-$20 when
978
00:40:18,720 -->
00:40:19,720
we're.
979
00:40:19,720 -->
00:40:20,720
Okay that'd be crazy.
980
00:40:20,720 -->
00:40:24,480
When we're in our old age which it's going to happen.
981
00:40:24,480 -->
00:40:29,960
I am predicting it now when Kevin and I if we make it to the age of 69.
982
00:40:29,960 -->
00:40:30,960
Nice.
983
00:40:30,960 -->
00:40:31,960
Nice.
984
00:40:31,960 -->
00:40:33,560
A McDonald's hamburger is going to be like 10 bones.
985
00:40:33,560 -->
00:40:36,960
So what the fuck would a excuse me cheeseburger be?
986
00:40:36,960 -->
00:40:37,960
20?
987
00:40:37,960 -->
00:40:38,960
Yeah.
988
00:40:38,960 -->
00:40:39,960
Something like that.
989
00:40:39,960 -->
00:40:40,960
No.
990
00:40:40,960 -->
00:40:43,800
No way because if you want a slice of cheese on a McChicken that slice of cheese is already
991
00:40:43,800 -->
00:40:44,800
an extra $1.19.
992
00:40:44,800 -->
00:40:45,800
Right.
993
00:40:45,800 -->
00:40:46,800
Yeah.
994
00:40:46,800 -->
00:40:47,800
So no way.
995
00:40:47,800 -->
00:40:51,640
I'm in the age of 69 so 40 years McCheese will be $10.
996
00:40:51,640 -->
00:40:52,640
40 years.
997
00:40:52,640 -->
00:40:55,160
You are not 19 anymore brother.
998
00:40:55,160 -->
00:40:56,920
That's like 35 years from now.
999
00:40:56,920 -->
00:40:57,920
I'm 24.
1000
00:40:57,920 -->
00:40:58,920
Right.
1001
00:40:58,920 -->
00:40:59,920
40 years.
1002
00:40:59,920 -->
00:41:00,920
25 years.
1003
00:41:00,920 -->
00:41:01,920
Oh.
1004
00:41:01,920 -->
00:41:02,920
Oh.
1005
00:41:02,920 -->
00:41:03,920
Yeah you're right.
1006
00:41:03,920 -->
00:41:06,920
Look who can't do math.
1007
00:41:06,920 -->
00:41:08,580
Me.
1008
00:41:08,580 -->
00:41:09,580
But also him too.
1009
00:41:09,580 -->
00:41:10,580
He can't do it.
1010
00:41:10,580 -->
00:41:11,580
That's true.
1011
00:41:11,580 -->
00:41:13,880
I was too busy thinking about $20,000 which is the way to go.
1012
00:41:13,880 -->
00:41:16,520
I was too busy thinking about going down the path.
1013
00:41:16,520 -->
00:41:17,520
Going down that path.
1014
00:41:17,520 -->
00:41:18,520
The pact.
1015
00:41:18,520 -->
00:41:19,520
The pact?
1016
00:41:19,520 -->
00:41:20,520
The pact yeah.
1017
00:41:20,520 -->
00:41:21,520
The path.
1018
00:41:21,520 -->
00:41:22,520
Yeah.
1019
00:41:22,520 -->
00:41:23,520
No no no no no.
1020
00:41:23,520 -->
00:41:24,520
What's the pact?
1021
00:41:24,520 -->
00:41:27,520
Say the next fucking question.
1022
00:41:27,520 -->
00:41:28,520
Oh.
1023
00:41:28,520 -->
00:41:32,040
From user OneRanger2491.
1024
00:41:32,040 -->
00:41:33,520
Get shorter names people.
1025
00:41:33,520 -->
00:41:34,520
Please.
1026
00:41:34,520 -->
00:41:40,560
Would you curse your bloodline for wealth and health for yourself?
1027
00:41:40,560 -->
00:41:41,880
My bloodline's already fucked.
1028
00:41:41,880 -->
00:41:42,880
I'm cursing them.
1029
00:41:42,880 -->
00:41:45,720
Give me everything that I want.
1030
00:41:45,720 -->
00:41:48,320
I am the only son.
1031
00:41:48,320 -->
00:41:49,440
I have three sisters.
1032
00:41:49,440 -->
00:41:50,560
I'm the only son.
1033
00:41:50,560 -->
00:41:53,120
The bloodline dies with me anyway.
1034
00:41:53,120 -->
00:41:54,120
Right?
1035
00:41:54,120 -->
00:41:55,520
I do have a brother but.
1036
00:41:55,520 -->
00:41:56,520
In air quotes.
1037
00:41:56,520 -->
00:42:03,040
Of course that's not really realistic because you know the whole only son or first son thing
1038
00:42:03,040 -->
00:42:04,760
hasn't been relevant for centuries.
1039
00:42:04,760 -->
00:42:05,760
No.
1040
00:42:05,760 -->
00:42:08,160
But the bloodline dies with me.
1041
00:42:08,160 -->
00:42:11,360
With me you know I'm God's little plaything so I don't know if there would be a woman
1042
00:42:11,360 -->
00:42:13,820
in my life at any point.
1043
00:42:13,820 -->
00:42:19,920
So it's really all just riding on my younger brother who's a Marine and has a I can't say
1044
00:42:19,920 -->
00:42:22,920
it because at some point I want to make amends with them and I want to talk to him again
1045
00:42:22,920 -->
00:42:30,480
but I don't like I don't care for his fiance but imagine if him and her make little oh
1046
00:42:30,480 -->
00:42:32,640
God.
1047
00:42:32,640 -->
00:42:33,640
Our bloodline is doomed.
1048
00:42:33,640 -->
00:42:34,640
Message received.
1049
00:42:34,640 -->
00:42:36,200
The bloodline was already doomed.
1050
00:42:36,200 -->
00:42:37,720
The bloodline is doomed.
1051
00:42:37,720 -->
00:42:40,480
But would you doom your bloodline for health and wealth?
1052
00:42:40,480 -->
00:42:41,480
Yeah absolutely.
1053
00:42:41,480 -->
00:42:46,240
Yeah I think I would too because I don't know if I ever plan on having children and if I
1054
00:42:46,240 -->
00:42:49,640
do they might be fucked anyway because the economy.
1055
00:42:49,640 -->
00:42:52,760
And if I do well you were a mistake anyway so get back up in there.
1056
00:42:52,760 -->
00:42:54,200
I think I was a mistake.
1057
00:42:54,200 -->
00:42:55,200
I wasn't meant to happen.
1058
00:42:55,200 -->
00:42:56,200
I know.
1059
00:42:56,200 -->
00:42:57,200
And here I am.
1060
00:42:57,200 -->
00:42:58,200
I know.
1061
00:42:58,200 -->
00:42:59,200
Oh yeah.
1062
00:42:59,200 -->
00:43:00,200
Well you were there.
1063
00:43:00,200 -->
00:43:01,200
I was yeah.
1064
00:43:01,200 -->
00:43:02,200
Was it cool?
1065
00:43:02,200 -->
00:43:05,120
I don't know I mean I got to spend a lot of time with your mom.
1066
00:43:05,120 -->
00:43:06,120
Oh.
1067
00:43:06,120 -->
00:43:08,040
Well that's very I'm sure she appreciated that.
1068
00:43:08,040 -->
00:43:09,040
Oh trust me she did.
1069
00:43:09,040 -->
00:43:10,040
Yeah.
1070
00:43:10,040 -->
00:43:13,720
I don't know what you're insinuating and I don't like it.
1071
00:43:13,720 -->
00:43:17,680
Question from user search mysterious 9339.
1072
00:43:17,680 -->
00:43:19,280
I took her down the path.
1073
00:43:19,280 -->
00:43:20,280
Down that path.
1074
00:43:20,280 -->
00:43:21,280
Is it actually what.
1075
00:43:21,280 -->
00:43:22,280
I'm gonna hurt.
1076
00:43:22,280 -->
00:43:23,280
What happened.
1077
00:43:23,280 -->
00:43:24,280
That's twice.
1078
00:43:24,280 -->
00:43:25,280
Hey.
1079
00:43:25,280 -->
00:43:26,280
Twice.
1080
00:43:26,280 -->
00:43:27,280
Twice.
1081
00:43:27,280 -->
00:43:28,280
Twice.
1082
00:43:28,280 -->
00:43:29,280
Okay.
1083
00:43:29,280 -->
00:43:30,280
Down that path.
1084
00:43:30,280 -->
00:43:31,280
I like where this is going.
1085
00:43:31,280 -->
00:43:32,280
One for each ball.
1086
00:43:32,280 -->
00:43:33,280
I do you know.
1087
00:43:33,280 -->
00:43:34,280
How are we gonna fuck with them balls right?
1088
00:43:34,280 -->
00:43:36,280
No it's how crazy are we getting with them balls.
1089
00:43:36,280 -->
00:43:38,320
How crazy are we getting with the balls?
1090
00:43:38,320 -->
00:43:39,960
How are we gonna fuck these balls?
1091
00:43:39,960 -->
00:43:41,600
How are we gonna fuck these balls Rich?
1092
00:43:41,600 -->
00:43:42,600
How are we gonna fuck them?
1093
00:43:42,600 -->
00:43:43,600
His name is Rick.
1094
00:43:43,600 -->
00:43:44,600
Rich.
1095
00:43:44,600 -->
00:43:46,080
He's not Rich.
1096
00:43:46,080 -->
00:43:47,080
He works at Dicks.
1097
00:43:47,080 -->
00:43:48,080
His name's Rick.
1098
00:43:48,080 -->
00:43:49,080
Richard.
1099
00:43:49,080 -->
00:43:52,080
Yes?
1100
00:43:52,080 -->
00:43:56,040
If aliens landed tomorrow what's the first thing you would say to them?
1101
00:43:56,040 -->
00:43:57,040
Get out.
1102
00:43:57,040 -->
00:43:58,040
Oh.
1103
00:43:58,040 -->
00:43:59,520
Just tell them to leave?
1104
00:43:59,520 -->
00:44:01,680
Well like you don't want to be here.
1105
00:44:01,680 -->
00:44:02,680
Oh that's true.
1106
00:44:02,680 -->
00:44:03,680
That's good advice.
1107
00:44:03,680 -->
00:44:08,280
Like find some other intelligent life form to fuck with cause we ain't it.
1108
00:44:08,280 -->
00:44:09,280
Humans ain't it right.
1109
00:44:09,280 -->
00:44:13,400
If you can communicate with dogs or cats I'm sure they would have more intellectual or
1110
00:44:13,400 -->
00:44:15,320
cute things to say to you.
1111
00:44:15,320 -->
00:44:20,600
I would say like if aliens wanted to talk to me I would first ask why me?
1112
00:44:20,600 -->
00:44:26,760
Cause there's 8 billion people and there are people smarter than me, stronger than me,
1113
00:44:26,760 -->
00:44:27,760
more powerful than me.
1114
00:44:27,760 -->
00:44:30,840
Why does the alien want to talk to me first and foremost?
1115
00:44:30,840 -->
00:44:33,320
I would ask why me?
1116
00:44:33,320 -->
00:44:41,000
Secondly I would be like are you guys like DTF or what are we doing in that aspect?
1117
00:44:41,000 -->
00:44:45,240
And thirdly I would be like okay tell me about science and nature.
1118
00:44:45,240 -->
00:44:49,360
I've always wanted to get with a foreigner you know.
1119
00:44:49,360 -->
00:44:52,200
Otherworldly extraterrestrial.
1120
00:44:52,200 -->
00:44:56,640
That pussy's out of this world.
1121
00:44:56,640 -->
00:44:58,240
What makes you think I want alien pussy?
1122
00:44:58,240 -->
00:45:00,720
Maybe I want to go down the path.
1123
00:45:00,720 -->
00:45:06,480
I don't know what they got you know.
1124
00:45:06,480 -->
00:45:07,480
But they got saucers.
1125
00:45:07,480 -->
00:45:08,480
They got flying saucers.
1126
00:45:08,480 -->
00:45:11,760
So they've got to be fucking like toy you know.
1127
00:45:11,760 -->
00:45:13,840
Thought you were just going to stop it.
1128
00:45:13,840 -->
00:45:14,840
They got to be fucking.
1129
00:45:14,840 -->
00:45:16,440
They got to be fucking.
1130
00:45:16,440 -->
00:45:18,860
You know aliens be fucking.
1131
00:45:18,860 -->
00:45:23,680
Last question today from user oh yeah was your only question for the alien was to tell
1132
00:45:23,680 -->
00:45:24,880
them to like get out?
1133
00:45:24,880 -->
00:45:25,880
Yeah.
1134
00:45:25,880 -->
00:45:26,880
Oh.
1135
00:45:26,880 -->
00:45:28,640
Not like a mean like get the fuck out of here.
1136
00:45:28,640 -->
00:45:31,760
It's like a kind of a warning like just you don't want to be here.
1137
00:45:31,760 -->
00:45:33,720
It heads up in fact.
1138
00:45:33,720 -->
00:45:37,080
When I say this I'm speaking for every single person on this planet.
1139
00:45:37,080 -->
00:45:38,480
Just shoo bye bye.
1140
00:45:38,480 -->
00:45:41,920
You got the wrong ones.
1141
00:45:41,920 -->
00:45:43,960
Question from user financial meat.
1142
00:45:43,960 -->
00:45:44,960
Nice.
1143
00:45:44,960 -->
00:45:47,320
Let's go down that path.
1144
00:45:47,320 -->
00:45:49,000
$2992.
1145
00:45:49,000 -->
00:45:55,400
One million dollars or be able to eat whatever you want with no consequences.
1146
00:45:55,400 -->
00:45:57,200
Million bucks.
1147
00:45:57,200 -->
00:45:59,200
Isn't that Millie huh?
1148
00:45:59,200 -->
00:46:03,440
Not worried about your figure or you just continuing to work on your figure.
1149
00:46:03,440 -->
00:46:10,440
I both don't worry about it and am trying to work on it and it's kind of at a stalemate
1150
00:46:10,440 -->
00:46:14,320
and I'm fine with being at a stalemate because I'm not I'm not overweight.
1151
00:46:14,320 -->
00:46:19,600
However I'm not like the best looking but you know I'm got to play things so.
1152
00:46:19,600 -->
00:46:22,120
Whatever he wants me to look like I will look like.
1153
00:46:22,120 -->
00:46:29,720
So and you know I and I've I'm not the healthiest eater but whenever I do eat unhealthy like
1154
00:46:29,720 -->
00:46:35,200
really unhealthy I already go into eating that food knowing what the outcome is going
1155
00:46:35,200 -->
00:46:37,720
to be and I'm prepared for it.
1156
00:46:37,720 -->
00:46:42,220
Like every Friday night is hockey night and then after that we get White Castle.
1157
00:46:42,220 -->
00:46:47,040
Every Friday night I've had for the past God months.
1158
00:46:47,040 -->
00:46:51,400
Months I've had White Castle every Friday and but you know it's only once a week even
1159
00:46:51,400 -->
00:46:54,400
though every one of my coworkers are like Kev you're disgusting like what do you eat
1160
00:46:54,400 -->
00:46:55,400
that shit.
1161
00:46:55,400 -->
00:46:57,280
I'm just like well one it's tradition too.
1162
00:46:57,280 -->
00:47:02,440
They say White Castle is one of the healthiest cleanest fast foods out there.
1163
00:47:02,440 -->
00:47:06,160
That's crazy because I work there I don't know about that.
1164
00:47:06,160 -->
00:47:07,320
It's just what I've heard.
1165
00:47:07,320 -->
00:47:12,520
But sometimes that food does get to me and it makes me have the rumbly tummy the next
1166
00:47:12,520 -->
00:47:13,520
morning.
1167
00:47:13,520 -->
00:47:14,520
Sure.
1168
00:47:14,520 -->
00:47:19,320
And the whole day my room is just smelling like absolute shit like literal shit.
1169
00:47:19,320 -->
00:47:20,320
Right.
1170
00:47:20,320 -->
00:47:21,720
I've been ripping ass all day.
1171
00:47:21,720 -->
00:47:24,240
I've gone to the toilet about four to five times.
1172
00:47:24,240 -->
00:47:28,160
But you know what I've learned to live with the pain.
1173
00:47:28,160 -->
00:47:30,760
That's not that's maybe something you should bring up with.
1174
00:47:30,760 -->
00:47:35,840
And sometimes it's maybe funny after I do that and I go out in public or hang out with
1175
00:47:35,840 -->
00:47:40,800
a friend and I start ripping ass and I start thinking up the joint.
1176
00:47:40,800 -->
00:47:44,360
It's a really not funny though for especially someone like me.
1177
00:47:44,360 -->
00:47:45,360
It's hilarious.
1178
00:47:45,360 -->
00:47:46,840
I'm subjected to smell that.
1179
00:47:46,840 -->
00:47:47,840
It is hilarious.
1180
00:47:47,840 -->
00:47:48,840
It's not remotely funny.
1181
00:47:48,840 -->
00:47:52,920
And God's little play thing would love.
1182
00:47:52,920 -->
00:47:57,080
One of the feelings I do honestly miss the most is the fact that how close you can get
1183
00:47:57,080 -->
00:48:00,880
to somebody of the opposite sex and feel so comfortable with them.
1184
00:48:00,880 -->
00:48:01,880
Right.
1185
00:48:01,880 -->
00:48:02,960
To do shit like that.
1186
00:48:02,960 -->
00:48:05,520
To literally have a fart competition.
1187
00:48:05,520 -->
00:48:06,760
Oh my God.
1188
00:48:06,760 -->
00:48:08,440
After eating White Castle.
1189
00:48:08,440 -->
00:48:12,560
And me and my ex did that and I trounced her the first time we did it because she couldn't
1190
00:48:12,560 -->
00:48:14,600
stand the smell and almost broke up with me.
1191
00:48:14,600 -->
00:48:15,600
Just kidding she didn't.
1192
00:48:15,600 -->
00:48:17,920
She loved me at one point.
1193
00:48:17,920 -->
00:48:20,840
And then she ended up beating me one time.
1194
00:48:20,840 -->
00:48:24,680
And I can't believe I'm actually admitting this on air but it happened because we actually
1195
00:48:24,680 -->
00:48:27,960
were so comfortable around one another that you can just fart.
1196
00:48:27,960 -->
00:48:31,080
Or sometimes I walked into the bathroom like did your dad just shit?
1197
00:48:31,080 -->
00:48:32,080
She's like no that was me.
1198
00:48:32,080 -->
00:48:33,080
I'm like wow.
1199
00:48:33,080 -->
00:48:34,080
Jesus.
1200
00:48:34,080 -->
00:48:36,480
I'm like babe that's gross.
1201
00:48:36,480 -->
00:48:39,920
You're hot.
1202
00:48:39,920 -->
00:48:40,920
That's nuts.
1203
00:48:40,920 -->
00:48:42,560
First of all I agree with you.
1204
00:48:42,560 -->
00:48:44,840
I'll just take the million dollars because.
1205
00:48:44,840 -->
00:48:46,800
Sorry I went on a huge tangent there.
1206
00:48:46,800 -->
00:48:47,800
No that's okay.
1207
00:48:47,800 -->
00:48:54,320
All I'm going to add is like I've never had a fart competition because when it comes to
1208
00:48:54,320 -->
00:49:00,000
gas that my body produces 90% of the time it comes up as burps.
1209
00:49:00,000 -->
00:49:01,920
I'm a burpy guy.
1210
00:49:01,920 -->
00:49:04,360
I'm not a big farty kind of dude.
1211
00:49:04,360 -->
00:49:06,600
But I'm a burpy man.
1212
00:49:06,600 -->
00:49:10,520
You are exactly what I thought women were when I was kids.
1213
00:49:10,520 -->
00:49:13,760
When I was kids.
1214
00:49:13,760 -->
00:49:16,240
Okay sir.
1215
00:49:16,240 -->
00:49:20,160
You are exactly what I thought women were when I was a kid.
1216
00:49:20,160 -->
00:49:21,400
Like oh women don't fart.
1217
00:49:21,400 -->
00:49:22,400
Women don't poop.
1218
00:49:22,400 -->
00:49:23,480
They never do that.
1219
00:49:23,480 -->
00:49:24,480
I be shitting.
1220
00:49:24,480 -->
00:49:26,680
You don't fart.
1221
00:49:26,680 -->
00:49:27,680
Not frequently no.
1222
00:49:27,680 -->
00:49:30,680
I'm going to hurt you if you try.
1223
00:49:30,680 -->
00:49:32,000
I'm going to hurt you.
1224
00:49:32,000 -->
00:49:36,960
I'll take the million dollars because the stress of being financially free or at least
1225
00:49:36,960 -->
00:49:40,920
relaxed for a little while will already make me healthier.
1226
00:49:40,920 -->
00:49:43,720
So not worrying about whatever I eat.
1227
00:49:43,720 -->
00:49:46,760
Having a million dollars in the bank will already help with that.
1228
00:49:46,760 -->
00:49:47,760
Agreed.
1229
00:49:47,760 -->
00:49:48,760
Yeah.
1230
00:49:48,760 -->
00:49:49,760
Agreed.
1231
00:49:49,760 -->
00:49:54,400
Well, guys little plaything and Mr. Berpsalot signing off for the day.
1232
00:49:54,400 -->
00:50:01,280
This has been AK219 sponsored by nobody because Aldi didn't want to and White Castle has not
1233
00:50:01,280 -->
00:50:04,120
reached back out to us.
1234
00:50:04,120 -->
00:50:06,680
Sponsored by Toyota.
1235
00:50:06,680 -->
00:50:07,680
Let's go down that path.
1236
00:50:07,680 -->
00:50:08,680
I wish.
1237
00:50:08,680 -->
00:50:13,880
I wish.