93: When Addiction Steals Your Dad with Victoria

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You know, let's share our triumphs and our tragedies and heal and love each other.
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This is the Addiction Recovery Podcast with Steven T.
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Ginsburg, founder of Restore Detox Centers in Sunny, California.
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Enjoy your experience.
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Steven, so great to be back together with you for another episode on addiction recovery.
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Today we have a special guest.
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And in fact, we have one of the listeners of the show joining us today, which is super cool.
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Uh, welcome Victoria to the show.
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Hey guys.
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Uh, this is surreal.
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Oh my gosh, I've been listening to you in my headphones for months now, but now we're interacting.
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It's super cool.
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And Steven, you've been interacting with Victoria for quite some time now.
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Yeah, Steve, this is just such a blessing.
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And Victoria, it's so awesome to have you on here.
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It just really is a dream come true.
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Yeah, Victoria had reached out to us and we did some emailing, and then eventually we grabbed a call and then she started looping into some groups at Restore, which was really special.
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And then the Brain Trust, if you would, decided like, you know, this would be incredible for her to be able to come on and just share her experience, strength, and hope.
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And here we are.
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So God is on the move.
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This is all part of the process, and what a blessing it is to have us all together.
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Absolutely.
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And at the end of every episode, we're like, reach out, send us your comments.
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We'd love to hear from you.
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Victoria is a great example of this.
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We want to have more people on the show.
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So this is just the beginning.
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So, Victoria, let's kick things off.
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We're always curious about number one, how do people find the podcast?
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And number two, what led you to start listening to the podcast actively and then eventually reach out?
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I want to hear your story and where you came from.
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Sure.
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So it was a few months ago, probably the end of 2025, I'd say that I got more serious about wanting to understand addiction.
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So naturally I looked up podcasts and yours came up.
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That's how I got to listening to this one in particular.
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It became my favorite out of out of the bunch.
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So I a little bit on my background on why I wanted to understand addiction.
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Um, I needed to piece together what had happened to my family.
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So for some context and and backstory here, I'm not coming at this from the perspective of somebody who has had an addiction personally, myself, but it has definitely impacted me and my life and my family.
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So my dad, his name, his name was Mike.
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And to touch on him a little bit before we get into the addiction piece of things, he was this fun-loving big guy, like larger than life.
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And he was the type that if we were driving down the road and he saw somebody walking on the road, like he would pull over and offer them a ride, spark up a conversation.
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So he was like that.
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And when my mom met my dad, he was working part-time as a bouncer in a nightclub.
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And I've heard that that place apparently was just overrun with drug activity.
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So he got started on cocaine.
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This was the late 80s, and then fast forward a few years, and they're married.
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They have my brother, they have me.
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And when I was around six, he got injured.
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He was prescribed Vicodin.
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And he had a manual labor job, like as his day job.
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And he felt like the dosage that he was on wasn't enough for him to be able to do his job.
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So he started buying pills off of guys at work.
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So this was another work environment where there was just a lot of drugs going through there.
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A few years after that, he was in a car accident.
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And this was the late 90s.
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So this was whenever the oxycotton epidemic was kind of like sweeping through.
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He was prescribed that.
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And people that knew him would tell you that that is when we really lost him, and that's when he really changed.
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It was the oxycotton was just really awful and did a number on him.
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So for years there, our family was living with this very active addiction.
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It was, you know, still the crack cocaine, but then these different painkillers.
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It was just chaos.
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And how old were you at the time, Victoria?
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When this is all going on?
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Yeah, I was approaching like nine or 10 years old.
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Was there a certain point where you thought something's different with my dad?
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Or maybe you came across some white powder in the bathroom on a mirror with some razors or something, anything like crazy like that, like that led to the actual discovery of your dad using drugs?
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No, so it's hard to pinpoint, you know, exactly a moment when I knew that it was that it was drugs, right?
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Because it was just, I grew up used to seeing him in different conditions and different states.
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But you, you know what I mean?
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So I can think back and I like vividly recall seeing him when he.
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So my mom would call it, she she didn't like to say that he was high, because I guess that was too much of a scary word.
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So she would say, Dad's messed up.
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Like he, dad's messed up right now.
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And yeah, I can definitely recall seeing how he physically looked when he was either messed up or coming down.
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Yeah, there was a time when I was probably 12 or something that I stumbled across a crackpipe in the garage.
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But yeah, so during that time period when I was like 10 to almost 14, total chaos.
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We were losing everything to that addiction.
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I mean, people were walking out of our lives left and right, whether it was community or friends or family.
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And then financially, I mean, that all went down the drain, like they had to file bankruptcy.
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So we lost the house, the cars were repossessed.
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Because he wasn't working, or he was working but just using all his money elsewhere.
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He was working a little bit, but he was he was using everything for the drug money, and he really got into a lot of lying and stealing from us from uh from other people.
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Like that was part of why we were losing people, is because he was lying and stealing with other people.
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So we were becoming like our family was getting more and more isolated, even though things were getting more dire.
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So that brings us up to I was about two weeks before I turned 14, and my mom had had enough because he was just off the rails and unpredictable and erotic.
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So she kicked him out, and then two weeks later, on my 14th birthday, he called me to say happy birthday.
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And little did we know that that would be the last time that we ever spoke.
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And he did not take well to I think to losing us and to being kicked out and losing everything.
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So he got even more so aggressive and he was harassing us and he would show up at places where we would be and cause a big scene and be quite scary.
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So my mom got restraining orders for the three of us.
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And then the three of us were out on our own with almost nothing and nobody starting over.
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We just had to completely start over in a different school district.
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You know what I mean?
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So that typical like single mom thing, she's working three jobs just to prevent us from going into a women's shelter.
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And then my dad, where his story went, I've heard through the grapevine over the years that, and uh, this this part really like hurts my heart and kills me, but he lived another seven years after that, but he spent that time in essentially a crack house, kind of like what you'd see in movies where there's like no running water and dirty needles.
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So he lost everything, like he lost everything and everyone.
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And I just can't even fathom what that had to be like to live that many years in that situation, and then eventually he passed away from long-term drug use to talk about like how that's impacted me today.
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Is that when I was 14 and he was out of our lives and a lot of our family, we kind of all split up.
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The reaction from me and my brother and my mom is that we basically never talked about my dad and never talked about what happened, like ever again.
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Emotionally boxed that up completely, like all the trauma and the abandonment, all of that.
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But then that caught up to me this year.
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And I think that led to my own kind of personal bottom.
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Yeah.
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So let's dive into that more.
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So, how old were you when your dad died?
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21.
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21.
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Okay.
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So that that was the so after your 14th birthday, you pretty much lost contact with them.
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He lives another seven years in a crack house using drugs excess excessively, and then eventually he passes away.
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Yep.
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Yeah.
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No, that that's gotta be really tough.
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I know, Steven, like you dealt with addiction.
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Like, obviously, you have your own journey.
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Were your like any of your family members, were your parents?
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Uh did you, I mean, did you experience anything similar?
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Because I did.
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I want to hear from Steven first, and I'll I'll Yeah.
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So I first and foremost, Victoria, just I want to just salute you.
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Just your courage and your willingness and your desire to heal.
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And you know, the Lord's guiding you, and that is just part of how cathartic all this is.
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And that that's where you know it's the similarities, always never the differences.
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You know, we all three have a different journey, but here we are in this moment with the same objective.
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I am not an adult child of addiction or alcoholism, but Victoria is.
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But what I am is a grateful recovering addict and alcoholic.
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So there's common denominations, both to like what and who delivered me and started to deliver me to salvation, and then what I can offer as far as perspective to someone who's had that trauma and had that journey as an adult child of an addict and an alcoholic, which is Victoria's path.
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So that's where it's remarkable, you know, how much those obstacles become opportunities, and that mess really does become the message.
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So, although I didn't grow up in a household with that type of trauma, there was there were different things that led to the inception and the ongoing addiction and alcoholism in my life, but that common denominator are the things that bring us to salvation, and part of it is that ability to be vulnerable, that ability to connect, and that ability to start to, you know, for lack of a better term, we comp we compare notes and we remain on this trudge, this walk with purpose, this journey to heal.
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Yeah, no, I love it.
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And it's so interesting, and I echo what Steven said.
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I mean, what courage and bravery it takes from you, Victoria, to number one, come on the show and to share your story.
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So thanks for like opening up and being so vulnerable.
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You know, my dad left when I was, I can't remember, like three years old, something like that.
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He came back, he tried to get sober when I was in high school, and he said, I'm around now, I'm gonna be your dad.
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I'm here to be your dad, and things are gonna change.
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And then he started using again, asked me for money.
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I said no, that's the last time I ever heard from him.
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And he he like lived the rest of his life under a bridge in California, homeless, and then he passed away from drug use.
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So there's some similarities here.
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So with your story, I have so many questions for you because I think it's so interesting.
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You kind of buried it away, you said.
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So you just you're you're just like, what you're just like, I don't have a dad, or you just like never talked about dad, because I'm sure it got brought up, especially between like the ages of 14 and 21.
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I'm sure friends were like, So where's your dad?
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Um, there's daddy daughter day at school or whatever it is.
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Like, I'm sure it came up.
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How did you like how did you like talk about your dad, or how did you share your story with like your dad uh with anybody else at the time?
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So I would have liked to.
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I would have liked to have had a safe person who was interested and willing to go there with me for those conversations, but I didn't.
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I didn't.
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I I wish that I had had, I don't know, like a therapist or support group or somebody who didn't shy away from this topic because there were times, whether I was a teenager or a young adult, or even recently, if if I do venture into that, it's like people think that I have leprosy, or it's like radioactive.
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Like as soon as I met if I say anything about the story about my dad or what happened, or the rest like the restraining orders, people just they don't know what to say and they shut down.
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So I think it's it's multifaceted of like how why I haven't done the work previously or gone into this is A, in the early days when he first left our lives, we were focusing on surviving, like literally.
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Like even my brother and I were working, we're like 14 and 15 years old.
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We lived in this little apartment, my mom and I shared a bedroom.
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So there wasn't really time or space or focus to be like getting into our feelings when we were just trying to put food on the table, kind of thing.
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From there, getting older.
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Um, like I said, people, there's just such a heavy stigma around addiction.
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They don't want to go there.
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And so I kind of built my own life.
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I got married young at 21, started having kids and just focusing on that.
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And so, like I said earlier this year, something happened to kind of kick all this unprocessed, unresolved trauma back up.
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So, and how did that look with your partner?
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Like when you were dating before you got married, I'm sure during like the engagement phase, like you're having some deep conversations about life and childhood and stuff like that.
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Did you push that aside or did you start unpacking that um at the time and going deeper into the story about your dad?
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Or did you just like bury it until recently?
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No, so nah, my husband, I love him.
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Um, but so yeah, no, even when we were when we were dating, I think at some point he had to have asked, where's my dad?
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Uh, like people do at one point or another.
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And I I probably gave him just the elevator pitch.
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Like, this is the this is the brief.
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Maybe I didn't want to scare him off.
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I don't know, because I haven't had a good reaction in the past when I told people about it.
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So I think I kept it brief, but he was quite open and understanding.
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And thankfully he wasn't scared off.
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But no, it hasn't been something that has even been brought up between the two of us very much.
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So, what like what's the reasoning behind that?
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Was it just like so painful to see your dad in that position that you didn't want to talk about it?
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Or were you like embarrassed?
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Was there shame?
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Were you trying to protect your mom?
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Like you know, and I don't even know if you can pinpoint that, right?
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Sometimes our emotions are just so difficult to like describe, but can you like pinpoint anything?
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Like what was the like the whole reasoning behind just like pushing it aside?
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So there is some like learned stigma that is attached to this, and it actually had consequences for our family.
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Like, there's a stigma if you're the person that actually has the addiction, but there's a stigma too if you're that guy's daughter.
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And so my mom, my brother, and I like we experienced that.
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Like we used to have a bigger community, whether it was people from school or the neighbors or our other family members.
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And then once things really started getting bad with my dad, everybody just falls away, right?
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They don't want to get their hands messy and get involved in that.
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So, like I did develop this like learned, like, we don't talk about what happens at home kind of thing.
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And then, like I said, it was also the approach of I feel like my mom, my brother, and I, that we just had to move on and move and just start a new life.
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So it was those different things combined.
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Yeah, and it's difficult.
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Like I know growing up for me, like I didn't have a dad around.
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And here I was like living in this two-bedroom house with my mom, my sister, and my three brothers, you know, we're like all sharing rooms, and all my other friends are living in these big old houses, you know, five to six bedroom house, you know, with the pool in the backyard or whatever, maybe, or the community center.
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Um, and here I'm like living in the hood, you know, the the hood, I call it the hood, you know, like lightly because it, you know, Colorado doesn't really have a hood like other places.
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But it's embarrassing.
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It was like super embarrassing to have friends over because like we didn't have good food, our house is like too super small.
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So like it really impacted my social life.
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And I always wondered, like, what the heck?
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Why don't I have a dad?
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Like all these other people have a dad.
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And like, why don't I have a dad?
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Then when my mom remarried some guys, like the guys are total punks, you know?
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And I'm like, why isn't there a good guy out there?
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And I really struggled with that for so long.
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But then fast forwarding, like when I had my daughter, I remember one day, like I got that answer to the prayer that I like was praying for years and years and years, wondering, like, God, why aren't you answering my prayer?
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Seriously, why aren't you answering my prayer?
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Then it came to me when I was holding my daughter and I was like, it's so much better to be a son without a father than a father without a son.
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Because when I was holding my daughter, I was like, I cannot imagine what it would be like not having all these experiences with my daughter.
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And I think there's mercy and there's grace on the other side, especially for people with addictions, because it's like they don't know what they don't know, like missing out on your years, like you're be like being your dad and seeing you grow up between 14 and 21 and all the life experiences, like what a shame.
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And that's where I like turn my my heart, my mercy like back to my dad, and the forgiveness came because it's like that must have been terrible, and that sucks.
00:19:26.799 --> 00:19:28.319
That really sucks for him.
00:19:28.319 --> 00:19:30.240
And but I don't know how you feel.
00:19:30.240 --> 00:19:32.960
Maybe you could share a little bit about like your heart.
00:19:32.960 --> 00:19:36.319
Was there a lot of resentment, like anger towards your dad?
00:19:36.319 --> 00:19:41.039
Or like have you been able to forgive really easily and extend mercy?
00:19:41.920 --> 00:19:48.319
No, oh, I'm glad you asked this this question because this is a big one for me.
00:19:48.319 --> 00:19:50.799
I'm trying not to get emotional here.
00:19:51.039 --> 00:19:52.400
You're allowed to get emotional here.
00:19:52.400 --> 00:19:55.200
We Steven and I have gotten emotional for it.
00:19:55.759 --> 00:19:56.400
Thank you.
00:19:56.400 --> 00:20:08.319
So, truth be told, and I can't even, I cannot even boast in this because I truly believe, I think that this is just something that God has done in my heart.
00:20:08.319 --> 00:20:21.440
Like I cannot take credit for it, but I don't feel that I've ever needed to forgive my dad because I've never I've never been mad at him.
00:20:21.440 --> 00:20:23.119
That's just the truth.
00:20:23.119 --> 00:20:29.920
And that's not to say that I've just forgotten all of the bad things or blacked it.
00:20:29.920 --> 00:20:36.640
I remember, I remember the ways that he messed up, the things he did and how they hurt us.
00:20:36.640 --> 00:20:41.920
Like I had nightmares for years after even after he was dead.
00:20:41.920 --> 00:20:43.359
I was still having nightmares.
00:20:43.359 --> 00:20:45.039
I was having paranoia.
00:20:45.039 --> 00:20:48.880
I couldn't be home alone at night, like when my husband would travel for work.
00:20:48.880 --> 00:20:56.400
I would just like freak out because I was still had that feeling dad might show up and hurt us even after he was dead.
00:20:56.400 --> 00:20:56.880
Okay.
00:20:56.880 --> 00:21:08.480
So I didn't like, I didn't just forget the bad stuff, but at the same time, I remember who he was outside of that addiction.
00:21:08.480 --> 00:21:11.279
That's the guy that my mom fell in love with.
00:21:11.279 --> 00:21:16.000
And for little girls, oftentimes your dad is your first love.
00:21:16.000 --> 00:21:23.279
We were close, we share a lot of things in common, and I can't deny that.
00:21:23.279 --> 00:21:32.880
And the addiction piece doesn't take away from the love that I have for him and that compassion, like you were talking about, Steve.
00:21:32.880 --> 00:21:34.319
Same thing.
00:21:34.319 --> 00:21:45.119
Like it breaks my heart so much to think about those last few years of his life, of what it had to have been like to have been him.
00:21:45.119 --> 00:21:50.720
I know that I was hurting because I wanted my dad and I lost these other family members too.
00:21:50.720 --> 00:21:53.200
I still had my mom and my brother, though.
00:21:53.200 --> 00:21:54.400
He had nobody.
00:21:54.400 --> 00:21:55.519
He had nobody.
00:21:55.519 --> 00:21:55.759
Right.
00:21:55.759 --> 00:21:58.640
And then he just has to sit with the weight of that.
00:21:58.640 --> 00:21:59.759
Like, I can't even.
00:21:59.759 --> 00:22:02.400
I think that that's awful.
00:22:02.400 --> 00:22:05.039
And so that just breaks my heart for him.
00:22:05.039 --> 00:22:08.480
So that's kind of where my heart is at.
00:22:08.720 --> 00:22:10.240
That's when that's where your mercy comes from.
00:22:10.240 --> 00:22:11.519
Stephen, what say you?
00:22:12.319 --> 00:22:14.880
You know, I just love what's happening here.
00:22:14.880 --> 00:22:16.079
This is just beautiful.
00:22:16.079 --> 00:22:21.519
Anything we take from the darkness and move into the light, that's where the Lord goes to work.
00:22:21.519 --> 00:22:25.920
And just again, this miracle, and this is miraculous.
00:22:25.920 --> 00:22:30.720
And Victoria, we I break down all the time on this podcast.
00:22:30.720 --> 00:22:31.839
Steve can hold his mud.
00:22:31.839 --> 00:22:32.960
He's more like Nicole.
00:22:32.960 --> 00:22:34.000
He's got it together.
00:22:34.000 --> 00:22:38.000
But we need we always need someone who's like steady at the helm.
00:22:38.000 --> 00:22:52.240
Um, you know, this is the beauty is like listen, we're only as sick as our secrets, and that's not what we're here to live for, and that's not what we were here to live with or like.
00:22:52.240 --> 00:22:55.519
We're here to share our experience, strength, and hope.
00:22:55.519 --> 00:23:01.119
Bring the trauma and the toxicity out into the light, let Christ do his part and heal.
00:23:01.119 --> 00:23:03.359
And then we it's a we thing.
00:23:03.359 --> 00:23:12.640
Like we are the the enemy wants to isolate us, isolate us with shame, isolate us in our stories, pull community away from us.
00:23:12.640 --> 00:23:20.480
And when we come together in community and start to share that there is hope and there is a path to heal, the enemy's foiled.
00:23:20.480 --> 00:23:33.759
The Lord starts to triumph, and these tragedies uh become these remarkable stories of redemption, not just for the people that we're able to, you know, we're able to put our sword down and give them grace for our own sake.
00:23:33.759 --> 00:23:36.960
But then we start to heal ourselves and we realize we're not alone.
00:23:36.960 --> 00:23:48.480
And so, Victoria, again, one of the most important and imperative parts about this morning is there are so many people out there who are like, man, it would be great to reach out, man, it would be great to share what I went through.
00:23:48.480 --> 00:23:52.720
Man, it'd like I just wish someone could hear like where I'm coming from.
00:23:52.720 --> 00:24:09.839
That will all begin thanks to your courageous venture into this journey, not the least of which starting from when you when you even started to listen, then you email us, then you reach out to us, then we finally connect, and then you're invited to group.
00:24:09.839 --> 00:24:15.599
You don't know anything about group, you don't know anything about restore, and you zoom in from Pittsburgh, no less, which is so cool.
00:24:15.599 --> 00:24:18.559
And then that's turned into like a consistent thing.
00:24:18.559 --> 00:24:21.680
And the community of Restore loves and has embraced Victoria.
00:24:21.680 --> 00:24:24.559
And and Victoria, Steve has been to Restore.
00:24:24.559 --> 00:24:30.799
You know, Steve grew up with Nicole's brother and is one of their family's best friends and has become one of my best friends.
00:24:30.799 --> 00:24:32.240
And Steve has been at that table.
00:24:32.240 --> 00:24:37.599
And you know, Steve, someday Victoria and her family will come to San Diego, please, Lord, and she'll be at the table.
00:24:37.599 --> 00:24:40.240
And like this is all part of something.
00:24:40.240 --> 00:24:46.319
And so, really, my my my long soliloquy there is like, let's close ranks and come together.
00:24:46.319 --> 00:24:55.440
Let's share our stories, you know, let's share our triumphs and our tragedies and heal and love each other, shed tears like I am right now.
00:24:55.440 --> 00:24:59.519
Um, you know, and find this common solution.
00:24:59.519 --> 00:25:00.079
Yeah.
00:25:00.079 --> 00:25:03.440
Uh, you know, we're not meant to suffer alone or quietly.
00:25:03.440 --> 00:25:05.920
We're meant to rejoice and heal and help each other.
00:25:05.920 --> 00:25:10.079
So, like I'm over the moon right now and like losing it, but I love losing it.
00:25:10.720 --> 00:25:12.720
Yeah, no, I that that's beautiful, Steven.
00:25:12.720 --> 00:25:18.079
And I just I love Steven's heart and his passion for just helping people and caring for people.
00:25:18.079 --> 00:25:31.039
And and I I love like I just love your vulnerability, Victoria, because I guarantee you, guarantee you, someone's on the other side listening right now, and they probably have a lot of similarities to you.
00:25:31.039 --> 00:25:39.839
And it's just even if it's just one listener, perhaps they just heard one thing from you today that can radically change their life.
00:25:39.839 --> 00:25:42.799
And I think that's what that's what we're trying to do here.
00:25:42.799 --> 00:25:55.119
I think it's um, I want to dive deeper into this, and I I want to understand, like you said recently something popped up that like brought all this to the surface.
00:25:55.119 --> 00:25:56.400
Can you go deeper into that?
00:25:56.400 --> 00:25:58.000
Do you feel comfortable with that?
00:25:58.640 --> 00:26:00.079
Yeah, I don't, I don't
00:26:00.079 --> 00:26:00.319
mind.
00:26:00.319 --> 00:26:10.319
So earlier this year, I think all of this unprocessed trauma, abandonment, all that just came rushing out.
00:26:10.319 --> 00:26:13.279
It was like God blew the lid off of things.
00:26:13.279 --> 00:26:26.480
But what happened was that I'm so I'm a writer and I had these two novels that were out on submission to publishers trying to find a book deal for them.
00:26:26.480 --> 00:26:35.279
I had a meeting with my literary agent, and she said, unfortunately, this genre is just not selling right now.
00:26:35.279 --> 00:26:38.559
We can't find a publisher for either book.
00:26:38.559 --> 00:26:42.799
You kind of need to just put them away and move on.
00:26:42.799 --> 00:26:49.599
And that like spun spun me all the way out six weeks.
00:26:49.599 --> 00:26:51.039
I was depressed.
00:26:51.039 --> 00:26:58.240
But in retrospect, I can see that it was that was totally not about the books.
00:26:58.240 --> 00:27:12.480
Like, yes, that was disappointing news, but no, it like triggered this overreaction in me that was tied back to everything in my past that I didn't ever deal with or heal from.
00:27:12.480 --> 00:27:22.079
And I believe in the devil, and I think that the devil saw that opportunity to get in there and spin a bunch of lies around.
00:27:22.079 --> 00:27:24.319
And I was, I was believing them.
00:27:24.319 --> 00:27:32.960
All of this, you're worthless, you're a fool, you're a piece of garbage, all of this that was tied back to everything from my past.
00:27:32.960 --> 00:27:42.319
I'm grateful that God got a hold of me though, and showed me how urgent and necessary it was for me to address things.
00:27:42.319 --> 00:27:50.079
That He really grabbed me and was like, you can't let your mental health keep going in this direction.
00:27:50.079 --> 00:28:00.559
Like we are going to do the work now, even though it's been 22 years now, since my dad's been out of my life and all this stuff happened.
00:28:00.559 --> 00:28:05.119
I heard that message and I was like, okay, what do we need to do?
00:28:05.119 --> 00:28:07.680
So that's that's that's where we went from there.
00:28:08.000 --> 00:28:09.759
So, how does walk me through that?
00:28:09.759 --> 00:28:11.119
How does that relate?
00:28:11.119 --> 00:28:22.960
Like when you got this bad news, which is probably super heartbreaking, because I imagine you're talented, you're a talented writer, you do all this work, you put all this effort in, and then you hear that, and you're like, oh my gosh, how discouraging.
00:28:22.960 --> 00:28:26.559
How does that trigger things related to your dad?
00:28:26.559 --> 00:28:31.920
And you talked about like this self-talk or like the the thoughts that you know the adversary could put into our heads, right?
00:28:31.920 --> 00:28:36.160
Where it's like, you're worthless, you know, you're a piece of garbage or whatever it is.
00:28:36.160 --> 00:28:44.400
Um, I want to hear like how you like internalize this because for me, I know like the self-worthing was a big part that I didn't realize.
00:28:44.400 --> 00:28:46.799
Like I was bearing that inside me.
00:28:46.799 --> 00:28:49.440
And then I was like, you know what the connection is?
00:28:49.440 --> 00:28:58.559
My self-worth was always hurt by this thought of if I was so valuable, how could my dad just like choose drugs over five kids with my mom and walk out the door?
00:28:58.559 --> 00:29:06.559
Like, especially being a dad, I'm like, oh my gosh, like if somebody came to me and said, I'll give you a billion dollars in exchange for your kids, I'd say, no way, no way.
00:29:06.559 --> 00:29:11.279
I'd rather be poor living in a box with my kids than have all this money and not have my kids.
00:29:11.279 --> 00:29:18.000
So walk me through like how do you internalize that and like how does that all connect back to your dad in addiction?
00:29:18.480 --> 00:29:18.799
Yeah.
00:29:18.799 --> 00:29:51.279
So similarly to what you had experienced, Steve, up until recently, I still grappled with like I can understand in my head the way that addiction works and how it functions, but it's different to really get that into my heart and to wrap wrap my head around the fact that, you know, after he was out of our lives, he lived another seven years and I never heard from him.
00:29:51.279 --> 00:29:55.920
You know, my thought was like, what, you couldn't pick up the phone one time.
00:29:55.920 --> 00:30:00.480
You couldn't call, you couldn't call me or send me a letter like one time for all those years.
00:30:00.480 --> 00:30:06.960
And that's just, I think, from my lack of truly grasping addiction firsthand, right?
00:30:06.960 --> 00:30:37.759
But in terms of how did those things relate to what happened to me with my books not getting published, it was this idea that I'm a fool because I allowed myself to have this small little nugget of hope for many, many years with my writing journey of writing these books, trying to get them published, that I like thought that I might be special enough to get a book published.
00:30:37.759 --> 00:30:43.599
So I think the devil just threw that in my face, like, oh, get a load of this one right here.
00:30:43.599 --> 00:30:46.480
She really thought she'd get a book published.
00:30:46.480 --> 00:30:49.359
Meanwhile, where's her dad?
00:30:49.359 --> 00:30:50.880
Where's these other people?
00:30:50.880 --> 00:31:00.640
You know, so he was like reminding me of everybody that had walked out and was reminding me that I'm just worthless.
00:31:00.640 --> 00:31:03.200
And he was like, What are you like blind to it?
00:31:03.200 --> 00:31:05.359
You're just lying to yourself all this time.
00:31:05.359 --> 00:31:10.480
So it was it was causing a lot of things to just fall apart mentally.
00:31:10.799 --> 00:31:17.200
Steven, jump in here because I know that you work with people with addiction problems all the time.
00:31:17.200 --> 00:31:19.519
And you know, you've gone through this as well.
00:31:19.519 --> 00:31:31.039
Help us to understand like both sides of it because I'm sure like an addict is not thinking, oh, my daughter or my son, they're just worthless to me.
00:31:31.039 --> 00:31:39.680
They don't mean, but the like the drug is so powerful that it can just make them act in super irrational, super selfish ways.
00:31:39.680 --> 00:31:40.640
Talk a little bit about that.
00:31:40.640 --> 00:31:41.440
What do you see?
00:31:41.759 --> 00:32:04.079
I mean, it's this is just it's never to make light of it and nor to generalize it, but it's textbook, you know, the what we do to ourselves and the way it affects the people around us that we love, when has that unmanageability, which is the foundational ingredient of, and and I'm an addict and alcoholic who's recovering, recovering today as we speak in real time.
00:32:04.079 --> 00:32:10.000
This is moment to moment my sobriety grows, and moment to moment my progressive illness is growing in scope as well.
00:32:10.000 --> 00:32:16.079
You know, these are and this is what I experienced boots on the ground, and I'm grateful that the Lord's called me for it.
00:32:16.079 --> 00:32:28.000
You know, I I am on the phone with the parents, the spouses, the siblings, the children and the adult children of people that we are coming alongside at restore.
00:32:28.000 --> 00:32:38.880
And and the fallout and the innocent victims, uh, their plights and their trauma are very universally severe along the way.
00:32:38.880 --> 00:32:42.960
And that's where the living amends are so imperative and important.
00:32:42.960 --> 00:32:48.720
Uh, we we can really do our part to speak to where we fell short.
00:32:48.720 --> 00:32:57.680
But the most important thing we can do for those of us who are recovering with the people we love is continue to have our actions and words match and do the best.
00:32:57.680 --> 00:32:59.119
We can never get anything back.
00:32:59.119 --> 00:33:04.240
But what we can do is we can reclaim and resume a path to heal.
00:33:04.240 --> 00:33:14.000
And Victoria very much uh, not to speak about her right in front of her, but I will, because we have we have somewhat of a relationship and a great friendship.
00:33:14.000 --> 00:33:28.000
You know, Victoria is ensuring that that the things that caused her trauma don't in some way, shape, or form rear their ugly heads and cause fallout and the healthy dynamics the Lord has blessed her with and her family.
00:33:28.000 --> 00:33:31.200
So that's where the healing is so important and imperative.
00:33:31.200 --> 00:33:34.960
And sort of a footnote, and I'll wrap up here on this answer.
00:33:34.960 --> 00:33:54.720
I want to really urge and implore people who are like children of or spouses of or siblings of, you know, whether it's Al-Anon or adult child of alcoholics or Coda or Celebrate Recovery, please participate in your own journey to heal.
00:33:54.720 --> 00:33:57.119
Please take a good look at what has occurred.
00:33:57.119 --> 00:34:03.519
Don't suppress it, don't stuff it, don't sit with it, don't feel like you can or should manage it on your own.
00:34:03.519 --> 00:34:15.920
We've got to make that effort and do that footwork to heal so that the people that love us don't fall prey to the same things that we went through where our trauma was concerned.
00:34:16.159 --> 00:34:17.199
Yeah, absolutely.
00:34:17.199 --> 00:34:18.800
I think that that's well said.
00:34:18.800 --> 00:34:21.519
Let me ask you, Victoria, another question here.
00:34:21.519 --> 00:34:29.519
As you've gone to restore, as you've tapped into this podcast, as you've looked into other resources, um, how's that helped you?
00:34:29.519 --> 00:34:37.199
Like understanding how addiction works or hearing other people's stories, how does that help you in your life and um in your healing process?
00:34:37.760 --> 00:34:39.039
Oh my goodness.
00:34:39.039 --> 00:34:41.760
Well, yeah, to have that.
00:34:42.159 --> 00:34:42.719
Or does it?
00:34:42.719 --> 00:34:43.280
Does it help?
00:34:43.280 --> 00:34:44.079
Does it help at all?
00:34:44.079 --> 00:34:45.920
Or are you still like searching for healing?
00:34:45.920 --> 00:34:46.559
I'm curious.
00:34:46.719 --> 00:35:07.679
I hope that no, I think we can go kind of a few different ways here, but in terms of having the perspective of somebody like Steven that's experienced addiction, that has helped me enormously because my dad is gone.
00:35:07.679 --> 00:35:09.360
He's been gone for a long time.
00:35:09.360 --> 00:35:21.039
So there's no opportunity for me to have a conversation with him to try and grasp or understand what happened to him or what that was like.
00:35:21.039 --> 00:35:29.519
So it's been very healing for me to hear from people who've walked that road in some sense.
00:35:29.519 --> 00:35:46.400
Um, I will also say that as you mentioned, I've been popping into Stephen's group at restore, and a lot of the folks up there have traveled this recovery road for a number of years already.
00:35:46.400 --> 00:35:57.199
And I draw so much wisdom and inspiration from them, even though I'm not trying to quit a substance of some kind.
00:35:57.199 --> 00:36:06.320
It's still this, I feel like there's like an umbrella of this internal recovery work and healing.
00:36:06.320 --> 00:36:09.760
A lot of things are related, actually.
00:36:09.760 --> 00:36:14.719
So I've yeah, I've pulled a lot from from those places.
00:36:14.719 --> 00:36:17.679
Um, I like to go to that group there.
00:36:17.679 --> 00:36:18.880
That's my favorite.
00:36:18.880 --> 00:36:22.559
I have tried other 12-step groups.
00:36:22.559 --> 00:36:24.400
They've been helpful too.
00:36:24.400 --> 00:36:27.519
This podcast, Stephen's book, other books.
00:36:27.519 --> 00:36:29.119
I'm in therapy too.
00:36:29.119 --> 00:36:31.679
I wish I had started that a long, long time ago.
00:36:31.920 --> 00:36:32.159
Yeah.
00:36:32.320 --> 00:36:39.519
But uh, so all the all those things have been coming together to be very beneficial for me.
00:36:39.840 --> 00:36:47.599
Yeah, and I think sometimes you alluded to it earlier, like the hardest things that we go through can be a blessing in disguise.
00:36:47.599 --> 00:37:01.360
So, how has like this whole experience with your dad and everything that you've gone through, how's it helped you to be a better wife, a better mother, a better daughter, a better, you know, just a better person, a better friend to other people?
00:37:01.360 --> 00:37:04.960
How's it helped you by going through all this?
00:37:04.960 --> 00:37:06.159
Or has it?
00:37:06.800 --> 00:37:19.519
Um I'm I I will leave that in God's hand and I will have I will have faith that I believe that God can redeem a lot of broken things.
00:37:19.519 --> 00:37:22.000
I think that he is in the business of doing that.
00:37:22.000 --> 00:37:34.719
Um, it might be hard for me to see, I don't know, my own um, I don't know, value in this sort of thing, but that's part of my what I'm recovering, right?
00:37:34.719 --> 00:37:37.440
Is like my low self-image or self-worth.
00:37:37.440 --> 00:37:40.960
But we're we're making good progress, I think, in that area.
00:37:40.960 --> 00:38:04.159
I am starting to see that this year in particular, that God has been working on me to become a much more open and vulnerable and real person than I've ever been before, and was all kick-started by this subject and this area.
00:38:04.159 --> 00:38:06.239
So I'm grateful for that.
00:38:06.239 --> 00:38:12.400
And something that I had brought up before is this sense of compassion that I have.
00:38:12.400 --> 00:38:23.679
I don't believe I would possess this if not for my dad and for his story, what I saw him go through.
00:38:23.679 --> 00:38:34.639
Like I truly do feel for people, and I feel like I can see people more because of because of my dad.
00:38:35.119 --> 00:38:35.519
Yeah.
00:38:35.519 --> 00:38:42.639
Well, and and here's the beautiful part about what you're doing, and I think about your healing journey, if I may, from my perspective.
00:38:42.639 --> 00:38:43.360
Right.
00:38:43.360 --> 00:38:54.079
I think one of the greatest things that you could do is share your story like you're doing right now and bring healing to other people because you've gone through it.
00:38:54.079 --> 00:39:01.599
You know, it's like when I think about the suffering that Jesus Christ had to go through, he had to suffer all this because he had he has to relate to us.
00:39:01.599 --> 00:39:15.119
I mean, can you imagine if God, the God that we worshiped, is just this omnipotent God, which he is, that's never gone through anything, never experienced like the mortal pains and sufferings and afflictions that we deal with here on earth.
00:39:15.119 --> 00:39:17.199
And he's just like, Yeah, I can relate to you.
00:39:17.199 --> 00:39:18.800
I mean, that's not even that's not even the case.
00:39:18.800 --> 00:39:26.159
So I think like going through hard things, as hard as they are, and how we don't want to go through hard things.
00:39:26.159 --> 00:39:29.519
All of us on this podcast have gone through super hard things.
00:39:29.519 --> 00:39:33.519
Everybody who's listening has gone through hard things, but it's all part of our journey.
00:39:33.519 --> 00:39:36.960
And when we share that, it can be part of the healing for somebody else.
00:39:36.960 --> 00:39:47.679
And it starts here because, like I said earlier, you may have said one thing, and one listener's like, Oh my gosh, I was a 14-year-old girl too, and I dealt with this with my dad.
00:39:47.679 --> 00:39:54.320
I'm not alone, I'm not some weirdo, I'm not some like abandoned, worthless daughter, right?
00:39:54.320 --> 00:39:55.840
Like, I have value, right?
00:39:55.840 --> 00:39:58.800
And I think like that's absolutely amazing.
00:39:58.800 --> 00:39:59.280
Okay.
00:39:59.280 --> 00:40:01.199
So I just wanted to get that out there.
00:40:01.199 --> 00:40:02.880
I wanted to turn the time over to you.
00:40:02.880 --> 00:40:04.480
I've been asking you a lot of questions.
00:40:04.480 --> 00:40:08.719
I want to give you you the opportunity to ask me and ask Steven a question.
00:40:08.719 --> 00:40:10.320
You could ask it in any order.
00:40:10.320 --> 00:40:15.440
Um, and then we'll uh we'll share a few things and then we'll wrap up if that sounds good to you.
00:40:16.079 --> 00:40:17.519
Oh, this is fun.
00:40:18.960 --> 00:40:19.840
I like this.
00:40:19.840 --> 00:40:23.119
All right, it can be anything too.
00:40:23.119 --> 00:40:25.920
I ask you tough questions, you could ask us twice tough questions.
00:40:25.920 --> 00:40:28.400
Just send the really, really tough questions to Steve.
00:40:28.559 --> 00:40:31.840
And Victoria, you won't believe some of the stuff he asks me on the fly.
00:40:31.840 --> 00:40:33.599
So, I mean, have at it, lady.
00:40:33.599 --> 00:40:34.719
I'm telling you.
00:40:35.599 --> 00:40:36.239
I love it.
00:40:36.239 --> 00:40:42.079
This is reminding me of that episode you guys did a little while ago about um deeper relationships.
00:40:42.079 --> 00:40:44.480
Yeah, with the asking questions and everything.
00:40:44.800 --> 00:40:45.199
Yep.
00:40:45.679 --> 00:40:46.159
All right.
00:40:46.159 --> 00:40:53.360
So, what keeps you guys going with this podcast?
00:40:53.360 --> 00:40:57.199
Or I know Steven, you've you've got the restore house.
00:40:57.199 --> 00:41:04.320
What kind of is the drive that's just the daily, you know, showing up again?
00:41:04.800 --> 00:41:08.800
I'll let Steve take this first and then I'll I'll I'll put a button on it.
00:41:08.800 --> 00:41:09.280
Yes.
00:41:09.519 --> 00:41:13.039
Yeah, I mean, because you you mentioned it, Steven owns Restore.
00:41:13.039 --> 00:41:14.719
This is what he does for a living.
00:41:14.719 --> 00:41:19.519
I turnaround companies and I transform businesses, I help them be more profitable.
00:41:19.519 --> 00:41:22.000
And uh, and so it's totally unrelated.
00:41:22.000 --> 00:41:35.199
But the reason why I'm so passionate about this, and the reason why I spend my time on this podcast and and doing these episodes is because, you know, like my journey started with my dad, like I said, walking out at three years old.
00:41:35.199 --> 00:41:40.159
And I dealt with so much pain, like so much pain as a kid.
00:41:40.159 --> 00:41:46.159
I thought I was like so out of place, like and so weird and everything else.
00:41:46.159 --> 00:41:52.000
And I went through all this, and you know, I never was like a full-on addict.
00:41:52.000 --> 00:42:01.519
You know, I smoked weed, you know, for a period of time, like every single day for years and and drank, but it wasn't anything crazy where I had to go to, like an addiction recovery center.
00:42:01.519 --> 00:42:09.440
But through all this, it's like what I could do to others is share my experiences and do this show.
00:42:09.440 --> 00:42:15.440
And maybe, just maybe, one person I can impact their life.
00:42:15.440 --> 00:42:21.679
And that's what keeps me going because I love people and I hate to see people suffer unnecessarily.
00:42:21.679 --> 00:42:27.440
And I just think that this world like needs more love, more compassion, more understanding.
00:42:27.440 --> 00:42:29.599
I want to touch on something that I'm gonna turn on to Steven.
00:42:29.599 --> 00:42:32.480
I have friends, like my wife and I, we have friends.
00:42:32.480 --> 00:42:35.280
We'll go out out with them, they're members of our church.
00:42:35.280 --> 00:42:37.039
Um, some aren't members of our church.
00:42:37.039 --> 00:42:56.079
And it's interesting because as they have their adult children, they'll start to like not mention some of the adult children that are gay, that are trans, that have addiction problems, almost like it's like the black sheep that they don't want to talk about.
00:42:56.079 --> 00:43:04.159
And like you, you talked about it earlier, Victoria, where people kind of get weird, they don't know what to say, maybe they treat you a little bit differently.
00:43:04.159 --> 00:43:07.119
And for me, I'm like, say it.
00:43:07.119 --> 00:43:08.400
That's life.
00:43:08.400 --> 00:43:11.280
Yeah, like it's no reflection on you.
00:43:11.280 --> 00:43:15.920
It doesn't mean like, oh, you have a gay kid, like I can't hang out with you, I can't love you.
00:43:15.920 --> 00:43:18.800
Like, that is absolutely the complete opposite.
00:43:18.800 --> 00:43:22.960
I think we need to be more real with people, more vulnerable with people.
00:43:22.960 --> 00:43:26.239
And I just got to the point in my life where it's like, I don't care.
00:43:26.239 --> 00:43:27.519
I'm gonna put myself out there.
00:43:27.519 --> 00:43:36.639
You can think whatever you want about me when I do this podcast, but I also know that a lot of people are gonna say, wow, okay, I'm not alone.
00:43:36.639 --> 00:43:39.760
I am heard, I am seen, and we're all at different places.
00:43:39.760 --> 00:43:42.239
We all just need mercy and we need grace.
00:43:42.239 --> 00:43:58.639
And this life is so long that it's like if you think your little life is so perfect and you're so righteous, and everything is great, just wait because you got 40 or 50 more years, and there's a ton of opportunity for crap to hit the fan in your life.
00:43:58.639 --> 00:44:04.400
And I just think like we Need to show more grace, less judging, because who are we to judge?
00:44:04.400 --> 00:44:07.760
And we just need to love people for who they are.
00:44:07.760 --> 00:44:10.400
And that's our that's our job.
00:44:10.400 --> 00:44:11.760
We're not saviors of the world.
00:44:11.760 --> 00:44:14.960
Steven and I are on the podcast to save everybody.
00:44:14.960 --> 00:44:17.360
That you know, we have a savior for that.
00:44:17.360 --> 00:44:24.639
But that's where my passion comes from, and that's what drives me every day to like get on the the podcast and do shows like this.
00:44:25.840 --> 00:44:26.800
I love that.
00:44:27.039 --> 00:44:28.719
Yeah, beautiful, beautifully said.
00:44:28.719 --> 00:44:32.880
And and it's the sentiments are very similar as they should be.
00:44:32.880 --> 00:44:34.559
And there's a lot of alignment with Steve and I.
00:44:34.559 --> 00:44:38.400
And Steve and I have had a journey of our own to where all of this is concerned.
00:44:38.400 --> 00:44:41.840
And that has been imperfectly perfect.
00:44:41.840 --> 00:45:01.840
You know, I often say to people that I have the chance to come alongside with at restore, you know, if you write up your wish list and what you want to get, quote unquote, out of sobriety, you if you give yourself a real chance here, you will be blown away at how dramatically short your list is compared to what's coming.
00:45:01.840 --> 00:45:04.159
And that's not riches or treasures.
00:45:04.159 --> 00:45:14.880
Um, that is just this human experience like we're having right now in this world, um, that is just supernatural and beyond description.
00:45:14.880 --> 00:45:31.440
And so, if I was going to allude to like what I thought would come, quote unquote, of this podcast, it would pale in comparison to what I see Christ is doing now, like in real time at this moment, and what this is for and where this is heading.
00:45:31.440 --> 00:45:37.280
You know, we are here to really bridge that perveral gap and help people to heal.
00:45:37.280 --> 00:45:46.559
And like there's no denomination or value or or price or assessment of worth that you can put on that.
00:45:46.559 --> 00:45:48.320
That is just unheard of.
00:45:48.320 --> 00:45:53.599
And what an honor to be called to participate in people's healing.
00:45:53.599 --> 00:46:07.760
And in this fallen world, and that's what we got, and we don't have to worry because he overcame the world to be used some in some small way to be able to participate in that journey with and for others, that is beyond description.
00:46:07.760 --> 00:46:11.360
I mean, this whole thing right now, this is surreal.
00:46:11.360 --> 00:46:17.360
Like when people from a store hear, Victoria, like that this came to fruition, like you're on right now with us.
00:46:17.360 --> 00:46:25.679
And then when this gets out and people hear it and people soak it up and tie into the similarities, not the differences, lives will be changed.
00:46:25.679 --> 00:46:32.400
We're all doing that through Christ in real time, through our own pain and our trials and tribulations.
00:46:32.400 --> 00:46:34.480
So that's what keeps this going.
00:46:34.480 --> 00:46:35.840
That's what keeps me going.
00:46:35.840 --> 00:46:39.440
And you know, we don't leave before the miracle, but how about this?
00:46:39.440 --> 00:46:41.280
Let's not leave during the miracle.
00:46:41.280 --> 00:46:43.280
And the miracle's happening right now.
00:46:43.519 --> 00:46:44.159
Yep.
00:46:44.159 --> 00:46:46.559
Very well said, Victoria.
00:46:46.559 --> 00:46:48.079
Good news and bad news for you.
00:46:48.079 --> 00:46:53.920
Good news is I think you're gonna have an amazing impact and influence on a lot of listeners.
00:46:53.920 --> 00:46:55.360
I think this episode's gonna be great.
00:46:55.360 --> 00:46:57.519
So thank you so much for being on the show.
00:46:57.519 --> 00:47:01.440
The bad news is um, this probably won't be the last time that Stephen.
00:47:01.440 --> 00:47:02.000
No way.
00:47:03.599 --> 00:47:03.920
Amen.
00:47:05.920 --> 00:47:07.519
Yeah, just gotcha.
00:47:07.519 --> 00:47:11.440
But no, seriously, I you know, and this this goes to Victoria.
00:47:11.440 --> 00:47:13.360
This goes to all of you listeners out there.
00:47:13.360 --> 00:47:24.400
Like, we we want to do more interactive um episodes like this with our listeners because you probably get tired of listening to Steven and I share um share our stories over and over again.
00:47:24.400 --> 00:47:36.159
But it I just think like the the bigger the community, the more people that can come on and share their pain, share their real life experiences, the more we're gonna realize that we're all very similar, going through the same journey.
00:47:36.159 --> 00:47:37.679
It just looks a little bit different.
00:47:37.679 --> 00:47:40.159
So that's what I want to say.
00:47:40.880 --> 00:47:41.840
Thank you.
00:47:41.840 --> 00:47:45.360
I love that you guys had me on here today.
00:47:45.360 --> 00:47:48.719
Like this is so special to me to talk with you guys.
00:47:48.719 --> 00:47:51.199
Like this, this really means a lot.
00:47:51.199 --> 00:47:57.920
And I was just thinking today, Stephen, back to the first time that you called me.
00:47:57.920 --> 00:48:02.239
And I remember being a little bit tongue-tied on that phone call.
00:48:02.239 --> 00:48:06.960
Well, first I had to get over the shock that the podcast guy called me.
00:48:06.960 --> 00:48:23.039
But when I got when I got over that, the reason that I was struggling to put words together is because that was the first and longest conversation I'd had in my life about my past and what had happened.
00:48:23.039 --> 00:48:31.920
Um, and so like I thank you guys for opening up that door because I really have needed that.
00:48:31.920 --> 00:48:35.920
And I would love to chat with you guys again or come back on again.
00:48:35.920 --> 00:48:38.000
So you can call me anytime.
00:48:38.000 --> 00:48:44.719
Because there's there's still other things on my mind that I would appreciate getting into.
00:48:44.719 --> 00:48:55.760
And one of those would be kind of like what I was just saying, the fact that I haven't up until this year been able to find a place to go with this stuff.
00:48:55.760 --> 00:49:02.480
And I think it'd be interesting to talk to you, Steve, especially about your experience as well growing up.
00:49:02.480 --> 00:49:18.320
And like, you know, if there was something that you feel like could have benefited you or helped you through that season, because I know there's things in my mind that like looking back, I think it would have been good for me to have had this or that type of support.
00:49:18.320 --> 00:49:22.800
So I think that would be one beneficial conversation.
00:49:23.119 --> 00:49:23.840
Yeah, agree.
00:49:23.840 --> 00:49:25.199
We just scratched the surface.
00:49:25.440 --> 00:49:26.400
So absolutely.
00:49:26.400 --> 00:49:32.639
And and I do want to say just and we'll wrap up here, but just I will never forget that day myself.
00:49:32.639 --> 00:49:38.079
And it it it came through some emails that that we quote unquote missed.
00:49:38.079 --> 00:49:43.920
And then I was able to circle back and and you were like sort of in shock that it was me on the phone.
00:49:43.920 --> 00:49:47.199
And I'm like, yeah, like I immediately wanted to talk to you.
00:49:47.199 --> 00:49:57.119
But then when and you and I had an incredible conversation, and then from there I ran, like literally, you know, figuratively ran like to call Steve immediately.
00:49:57.119 --> 00:49:59.840
I'm like, bro, you cannot understand what's going on.
00:49:59.840 --> 00:50:07.199
Someone who listens reached out, and then I've connected with her, and then I think she's gonna jump onto Zoom, you know, for group at restore.
00:50:07.199 --> 00:50:16.480
And that process, and I want to really like salute you, Victoria, there, that can be harrowing and you have become more and more bold and realize there's a place for you.
00:50:16.480 --> 00:50:19.039
Yes, you're on Zoom, but you are at the table.
00:50:19.039 --> 00:50:22.159
That's how I always describe being at Restore is at the table.
00:50:22.159 --> 00:50:26.239
And they like, you know, if you all of a sudden dropped out of group now, everyone be like, where is she?
00:50:26.239 --> 00:50:27.039
Like, what's going on?
00:50:27.039 --> 00:50:29.199
So you'd be missed because you're wanted there.
00:50:29.199 --> 00:50:31.039
Um, same thing when Steve's in town.
00:50:31.039 --> 00:50:33.679
Like people will often be like, is that guy coming back?
00:50:33.679 --> 00:50:35.679
And like, is the other Steve coming back in town?
00:50:35.679 --> 00:50:38.400
I'm like, Yes, he will eventually come back in town.
00:50:38.400 --> 00:50:40.159
But this is so beautiful.
00:50:40.159 --> 00:50:43.760
Like, we're building community, we're together healing.
00:50:43.760 --> 00:50:44.800
There's a purpose to this.
00:50:44.800 --> 00:50:48.239
And I just want to share one last thing and I'll let Steve sign us off.
00:50:48.239 --> 00:50:50.880
Like, I have a dream and I hope.
00:50:50.880 --> 00:50:56.159
I hope someday, like people who listen, we can gather a big enough group and we can do it.
00:50:56.159 --> 00:50:59.440
Doesn't have to be like for Zoom, it doesn't have to be for an episode.
00:50:59.440 --> 00:51:25.039
I would just love to have like sort of like a meeting, like a Zoom call with a bunch of people who have listened, and we could all just sort of maybe spend an hour or two or 12 just chatting and going around the horn and and sharing our experience, strength, and hope, and start to connect on a more human, deeper level with the people who are listening, because there is a pathway and this is happening for a reason.
00:51:25.039 --> 00:51:27.280
And so, hey, grateful to you both.
00:51:27.280 --> 00:51:30.960
Uh, love you both in this with you both.
00:51:30.960 --> 00:51:35.920
And uh, if you're out there and you're listening, we love you, we're for you, and we want to hear from you.
00:51:35.920 --> 00:51:38.159
And then uh, Steve, I'll let you sign us off.
00:51:38.400 --> 00:51:38.639
Thank you.
00:51:38.639 --> 00:51:41.440
And the love is definitely mutual, Victoria.
00:51:41.440 --> 00:51:43.920
Thank you so much for coming on the show.
00:51:43.920 --> 00:51:46.079
I can't wait to do another episode with you.
00:51:46.079 --> 00:51:50.239
And for all of you who are listening, this is a great example.
00:51:50.239 --> 00:51:51.199
You can do this.
00:51:51.199 --> 00:51:52.480
You can just reach out to us.
00:51:52.480 --> 00:51:53.679
You can be on the show too.
00:51:53.679 --> 00:51:59.760
Maybe you don't want to be on the show, but you want to send us a question that you want us to address, that's perfectly fine as well.
00:51:59.760 --> 00:52:00.880
You can always reach out.
00:52:00.880 --> 00:52:04.079
Hello at restore detoxcenters.com.
00:52:04.079 --> 00:52:05.519
All right, that's it.
00:52:05.519 --> 00:52:06.960
Catch you on the next episode.
00:52:06.960 --> 00:52:07.840
Take care.